# E14 - The Choromatsu Incident
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRQ41KQ1Y/the-choromatsu-incident)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:09] Girl**
No! Let go of me!
**[00:11] Popo**
Come with me.
**[00:12] Girl**
Don't touch me! Let go!
**[00:14] Popo**
You're a minor.
**[00:16] Popo**
Honestly, what are you thinking
on Coming-of-Age Day?
**[00:18] Popo2**
You, there.
**[00:20] Popo2**
I need you to come with us, too.
**[00:22] Popo2**
You knew she was a minor, didn't you?
**[00:24] Sane**
Huh? Uh, well, she said she
didn't have anywhere to go...
**[00:30] Popo2**
Could you tell me your name?
**[00:32] Sane**
Huh? U-Uh...
**[00:35] Popo2**
Tell me your name!
**[00:38] Sane**
I-It's... Sanematsu.
***SIGN***
Weekly Drama Serial
Sanematsu-san
***SIGN*** Episode 9
**[01:28] mom**
*Hello, this is your mother.*
***SIGN*** [Playing]
***SIGN*** Mom
**[01:31] Mom**
*How are you doing lately? I've been worried.*
**[01:35] Mom**
*Please give me a call.*
**[01:39] Boss**
Sanematsu-kun, listen.
***SIGN*** Dekoboko Commercial Agency
**[01:42] Boss**
As I always tell you, I'm not
asking you to actually be useful.
**[01:45] Boss**
But could you not hold everyone else back?
**[01:50] Kaoru**
Sanematsu-san, why do you put up this wall?
***SIGN*** No smoking in the office
**[01:55] Kaoru**
I just want to talk to you honestly.
**[01:57] Guy**
Don't you know, Kaoruko-chan?
**[01:59] Guy**
Sanematsu-senpai is only interested
in innocent little girls.
**[02:03] Guy**
Right, Senpai?
**[02:11] Guy 1**
All right, lunch time!
**[02:13] Guy 2**
Where should we go today?
**[02:14] Kaoru**
So you do get hungry.
**[02:39] Oso**
Sanematsu.
**[02:42] Oso**
Sanematsu, hey.
**[02:52] Sane**
Huh?
**[02:54] Oso**
What's wrong? Still dreaming?
**[02:58] Sane**
Huh? Um...
**[03:00] Oso**
Come on. Let's eat some watermelon.
**[03:03] Oso**
It's so hot today!
**[03:04] Ichi**
Yeah, just a little more to the left.
**[03:06] Ichi**
Now a little right.
**[03:08] Jyushi**
Right, right!
**[03:10] Jyu**
Oh, right there!
**[03:11] Kara**
All right... This is it!
**[03:13] All**
So close!
**[03:14] All**
You missed!
**[03:15] Ichi**
All right, time to switch, Karamatsu-niisan.
**[03:18] Kara**
No, no! I get one more!
**[03:19] Choro**
I'm up next.
**[03:21] Jyu**
Me, too!
**[03:21] Todo**
It's me!
**[03:22] Oso**
Hey, stop fighting, you guys!
**[03:25] Oso**
Ichimatsu hasn't gotten a chance yet.
**[03:27] Oso**
Let him try.
**[03:28] Kara**
Tch. Fine, Osomatsu-niisan.
**[03:31] Kara**
Sorry, Ichimatsu.
**[03:33] Ichi**
Thanks.
**[03:37] Six**
Yay!
**[03:39] Todo**
You did it, Ichimatsu-niisan!
**[03:41] Oso**
All right, let's eat!
**[03:42] Jyu**
Let's eat! Let's eat!
**[03:45] Six**
So good!
**[03:46] Six**
This is the best!
**[03:47] Six**
It's so good!
**[03:50] Todo**
What's the matter, Sanematsu-niisan?
You're not going to eat?
**[03:52] Sane**
Huh?
**[03:54] Choro**
If you don't want it, I'll eat it.
**[03:56] Oso**
Come on, Choromatsu.
**[03:58] Choro**
Aw, come on.
**[03:59] Sane**
*At first, I had no idea what was going on.*
**[03:59] Jyu**
I want some, too.
**[04:01] Oso**
Honestly, you guys.
**[04:08] Oso**
Here we go!
**[04:09] Oso**
Ready, and...
**[04:20] Sane**
*But as time went on...*
**[04:23] Sane**
*I stopped doubting it anymore.*
**[04:27] Sane**
* I was born in this family,*
* grew up in this family,*
**[04:33] Sane**
* and always lived together*
* with these brothers.*
**[04:39] Sane**
*Yeah... That's right.*
**[04:43] Sane**
*Why had I forgotten?*
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Bathhouse
**[04:47] Sane**
* I might've just been having*
* a nightmare this whole time.*
**[04:56] Sane**
*But everything's okay now.*
***SIGN*** A Few Weeks Later
**[05:14] Sane**
Hey, guys.
**[05:17] Sane**
I came up with a great idea!
**[05:21] Sane**
Wh-What's wrong?
**[05:22] Todo**
Huh? Uh, so what's up, Sanematsu-niisan?
**[05:26] Sane**
Why don't we go on a trip?
All of us, for a week or so?
**[05:32] Jyu**
That'll never work.
**[05:33] Sane**
Huh? But I wanna.
**[05:35] Jyu**
Even if we wanted to,
we don't have the time or money.
**[05:38] Choro**
Jyushimatsu.
**[05:42] Choro**
All right, Sanematsu.
Why don't we go to the beach?
**[05:45] Sane**
Yeah, let's go!
**[05:47] Sane**
What about you, Osomatsu-niisan?
**[05:49] Oso**
Let's go.
**[05:50] Sane**
And you, Karamatsu-niisan?
**[05:51] Kara**
Sure, let's go.
**[05:52] Sane**
And you, Ichimatsu?
**[05:53] Ichi**
Okay.
**[05:54] Sane**
Jyushimatsu?
**[05:55] Jyu**
Well, I guess...
**[05:57] Sane**
Todomatsu?
**[05:58] Todo**
Yeah, sure.
**[05:59] Sane**
All right! We're all going to the beach!
**[06:02] Sane**
I'm gonna go get ready!
**[06:14] Sane**
Wait up!
**[06:16] Oso**
Here we go!
**[06:18] Sane**
Got it!
**[06:22] Some**
What the heck?
**[06:24] Both**
Ready... go!
**[06:30] Both**
Goal!
**[06:32] Sane**
We tied.
**[06:33] Jyu**
Yeah.
**[06:57] Sane**
Osomatsu-niisan.
**[06:58] Oso**
Oh, there you are.
**[07:00] Sane**
What's up?
**[07:02] Oso**
Have a seat.
**[07:04] Sane**
Okay.
**[07:08] Oso**
Hey, Sanematsu.
**[07:11] Oso**
You've been laughing a lot more lately.
**[07:15] Oso**
I'm relieved.
**[07:17] Oso**
You know, you seemed so depressed because
you've been through so much lately.
**[07:22] Sane**
Yeah...
**[07:26] Sane**
But I'm okay now.
I'm having so much fun now.
**[07:30] Sane**
I have all of you guys. No more hardships.
**[07:34] Sane**
I hope this goes on forever.
**[07:40] Oso**
But... it can't.
**[07:43] Sane**
Huh?
**[07:45] Sane**
It can't? What do you mean?
**[07:48] Oso**
Don't make me say it.
**[07:52] Oso**
You should know better than anyone else.
**[08:01] Sane**
Yeah... You're right.
**[08:08] Sane**
This was so much fun!
**[08:09] Oso**
Yeah, it was.
**[08:24] Sane**
It was.
**[08:28] Oso**
Yeah.
**[08:38] Guy**
Hey...
**[08:43] Kaoru**
It can't be...
**[08:45] Kaoru**
Sanematsu-san?
**[08:49] Kaoru**
No!
***SIGN***
End
***SIGN*** General Hospital
***SIGN*** Next Episode Preview
**[08:59] nar**
Next time on "Sanematsu-san"...
**[09:04] nar**
Osomatsu examines, Karamatsu touches,
and Jyushimatsu makes the rounds.
**[09:11] Nar**
Next time: "Sanematsu Dies." Look forward to it.
***SIGN***
Episode 10: Sanematsu Dies
**[09:18] Nar**
* Unidentified mysterious animals,*
* otherwise known as UMA.*
**[09:21] Nar**
* The mysterious world of the occult*
* is filled with passion and dreams.*
**[09:26] Nar**
* This is the passionate tale*
* of adventure of the men*
**[09:29] Nar**
*who were enchanted by its mysticism!*
**[09:32] Iyami**
Iyami...
**[09:33] Hata**
Hatabou...
**[09:34] Jyu**
And Jyushimatsu's...
**[09:36] All**
...UMA Expedition Team! Doo-wah!
***SIGN*** UMA Expedition Team
**[09:42] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[09:44] Iyami**
You two!
**[09:45] Iyami**
You cannot underestimate the UMA!
**[09:48] Iyami**
They're dangerous and scary!
**[09:50] Iyami**
Let your guard down at all
and U-MAy lose your lives!
**[09:56] Hata**
For my father...
**[09:56] Jyu**
Yay!
**[09:58] Iyami**
Hey! Listen to me!
**[10:01] Iyami**
Fall in!
**[10:06] Iyami**
Listen up! Our target this time is this UMA!
**[10:10] Iyami**
The Super Mongolian Death Worm!
**[10:13] Jyu**
Ah.
**[10:14] Hata**
Jo.
**[10:15] Iyami**
It's huge! It's strong!
**[10:17] Iyami**
Face it head-on, and no number of
lives will be enough to save you!
**[10:20] Iyami**
It's truly terrifying!
**[10:22] Iyami**
We're going to...
**[10:23] Hata**
Want a wiener?
**[10:25] Jyu**
Heck yeah!
**[10:27] Iyami**
Hey! Fall in!
**[10:35] Jyu**
Director, you got a minute?
**[10:39] Iyami**
Me is not your director. Me is your captain.
**[10:41] Jyu**
How are we going to catch
this dangerous thing?
**[10:45] Iyami**
We're going to use these!
**[10:47] Jyu**
Wow!
**[10:48] Hata**
Jo!
**[10:51] Iyami**
No matter how dangerous UMAs are,
they're no match for humanity.
**[10:58] Hata**
Jo.
**[11:00] Iyami**
Hey!
**[11:11] Hata**
This could kill someone, jo.
**[11:13] Jyu**
Pew.
**[11:13] Hata**
Jo, jo, jo.
**[11:16] Iyami**
What's that?
**[11:22] Hata**
Jo?
**[11:23] Iyami**
Th-That's...
**[11:31] Iyami**
Th-The Super Mongolian Death Worm!
**[11:35] Jyu**
D-Director!
**[11:37] Jo**
Jo!
**[11:38] Iyami**
Have no fear!
**[11:39] Iyami**
We're safe at this distance.
**[11:42] Iyami**
Behold, UMA! This is the power of humanity!
**[11:51] Iyami**
Sh-Sheeeh!
**[11:52] Jyu**
What is this attack?
**[11:53] Hata**
We didn't hear about this!
**[11:55] Iyami**
Sh-Sh-Sheeeh...
***SIGN***
To Be Continued
***SIGN***
"The Choromatsu Incident"
***SIGN*** New Year Combo
**[13:35] Choro**
Well, I can imagine what
you guys want to say.
**[13:39] Choro**
I'm the most responsible
and capable of us brothers.
**[13:42] Choro**
I'm supposed to set the example.
**[13:44] Choro**
You're probably wondering what
happened since the new year.
**[13:48] Choro**
You might even worry and think
I've become a delinquent.
**[13:52] Choro**
But no matter how serious
I am, I'm still human.
**[13:56] Choro**
Even I have the desire to
be popular and be cool.
**[14:01] Choro**
So, for once, I followed my desire
and decided to look cool.
**[14:06] Choro**
It's the new year, so I thought it'd
be the perfect time to make my debut.
**[14:10] Choro**
This is your new Choromatsu-niisan in 2018!
**[14:16] Choro**
What's wrong? What's with those faces?
**[14:19] Choro**
Oh, are you guys actually jealous?
**[14:22] Choro**
I see. Sorry about that.
**[14:24] Choro**
I went ahead and became the cool one.
**[14:26] Choro**
Yeah, it's not fair for me to get
ahead of you guys. My bad.
**[14:32] Choro**
Hey, you guys haven't said a word.
**[14:35] Choro**
What's wrong?
**[14:36] Choro**
Well, whatever. As I was saying...
**[14:38] Choro**
I just don't want you guys to worry.
**[14:40] Choro**
I may have brown hair now, but I'm
still the same Choromatsu inside.
**[14:44] Choro**
I'm not a delinquent.
**[14:45] Choro**
I'm going to continue being the responsible,
reliable brother that guides you.
**[14:49] Choro**
Don't worry.
**[14:50] Choro**
That's why I had the three
of you gather here today.
**[14:54] Choro**
Well, let's go.
**[14:55] Todo**
W-W-Wait! Wait!
**[14:56] Choro**
Huh? What?
**[14:58] Todo**
Sit down.
**[15:01] Choro**
What? What's wrong?
**[15:03] Todo**
Well, uh...
**[15:06] Choro**
I told you not to worry.
**[15:09] Choro**
I just have brown hair now.
I'm still the same guy inside.
**[15:12] Choro**
I'm not a delinquent.
**[15:13] Ichi**
Yeah, don't worry. We got that.
**[15:17] Ichi**
That's not it...
**[15:18] Choro**
It's not?
**[15:20] Todo**
It's not that...
**[15:22] Todo**
*It's just...*
**[15:23] Ichi**
*...simply put...*
**[15:24] Jyushi**
*...that hair color...*
**[15:26] Three**
*...doesn't look good on you at all!*
**[15:29] Todo**
*What the hell?! Is he stupid?!*
**[15:31] Todo**
* Nothing hurts more than seeing*
* someone so clueless try to be cool!*
**[15:34] Ichi**
*Well said, Todomatsu.*
**[15:35] Ichi**
* Now say those exact words*
* to that idiot over there.*
**[15:37] Todo**
*How can I? Look at that face!*
**[15:40] Todo**
*He doesn't think he's made a mistake at all!*
**[15:42] Todo**
* He still thinks dying your hair*
* makes you cool in this day and age!*
**[15:45] Todo**
*What kind of harassment is this?!*
**[15:46] Todo**
*Lame harassment? Pain harassment?! What?!*
**[15:49] Jyu**
*Want me to tell him, then?*
**[15:51] Ichi**
*Stay out of it, Jyushimatsu.*
**[15:52] Ichi**
*You're just going to complicate things.*
**[15:55] Jyu**
*True.*
**[15:57] Choro**
Hey.
**[15:59] Choro**
If you have something to say to me, say it.
**[16:00] Choro**
That's why I brought you here.
**[16:05] Todo**
Okay, Choromatsu-niisan.
**[16:08] Todo**
I'll go ahead and say it.
**[16:11] Todo**
So... To be honest,
that brown hair of yours...
**[16:14] Ichi**
Hold it, Todomatsu!
**[16:17] Ichi**
Could I...
**[16:19] Ichi**
go get a refill at the drink bar first?
**[16:21] Jyu**
Same.
**[16:22] Todo**
No.
**[16:24] Jyu**
We can't? But it's free refills...
**[16:27] Todo**
No. I'm going to tell him,
so you two stay right there.
**[16:35] Todo**
Okay!
**[16:36] Todo**
I'm going to get a refill first.
**[16:40] Jyu**
What? Are you serious, Totty?
**[16:43] Todo**
Yeah, I'm going to tell him.
**[16:44] Ichi**
Will you be all right?
**[16:45] Todo**
What do you mean?
**[16:46] Ichi**
Well, you saw it. His "I won't
let anyone get me down" aura.
**[16:51] Ichi**
Him telling us we can tell him
anything is a total façade.
**[16:54] Ichi**
If we trigger him,
he might start punching us.
**[16:57] Todo**
Well, I'm going to tell him.
**[16:59] Todo**
I mean, come on. I don't want
Choromatsu-niisan to go down the wrong path.
**[17:04] Todo**
I don't care if he punches me,
if it means he'll change that lame hair of his.
**[17:08] Jyu**
He's so nice.
**[17:10] Ichi**
So kind.
**[17:13] Todo**
Okay, Choromatsu-niisan. I'm going to
get back on the subject, so listen up.
**[17:17] Todo**
Apparently Ichimatsu-niisan has something
to say about you dyeing your hair,
**[17:21] Todo**
so listen close.
**[17:23] Ichi**
You dirty little—
**[17:26] Ichi**
*Uh... What's with that face?*
**[17:28] Ichi**
*What kind of emotion is that?*
**[17:30] Choro**
What is it, Ichimatsu?
**[17:32] Choro**
What did you want to say?
**[17:33] Ichi**
Huh? Well, uh...
**[17:36] Ichi**
I-It's not really something I *want* to say...
**[17:42] Ichi**
U-Um... About your hair...
**[17:51] Ichi**
It looks great on you! Nice!
**[17:54] Choro**
Thanks!
**[17:57] Todo**
The hell?! You're so useless, Darkmatsu!
**[17:59] Jyu**
He's not dark at all! He's just a coward!
**[18:01] Ichi**
Then you guys tell him!
**[18:03] Choro**
Huh? What's wrong?
**[18:05] Choro**
Wh-Why are you hitting each other?
**[18:07] Todo**
* Okay, let's hold off on*
* this problem for now.*
**[18:11] Jyu**
*Yeah.*
**[18:12] Ichi**
* Why don't we write a letter?*
* I don't think we can tell him to his face.*
**[18:15] All**
*Yeah.*
**[18:17] Oso**
Huh?
**[18:18] Oso**
Oh, you guys are here.
**[18:20] Choro**
Oh, hey, guys. What a coincidence.
**[18:23] Oso**
What the?! What the heck
did you do to your hair?
**[18:25] Choro**
Huh?
**[18:26] Oso**
It looks awful on you! Are you stupid?
**[18:28] Oso**
You look like shit! What's wrong with you?
**[18:31] Jyu**
*He just said it.*
**[18:32] Ichi**
*He's completely tactless!*
**[18:34] Todo**
*He hasn't changed at all in the new year!*
**[18:38] Oso**
Seriously, what's with this hair?
It looks so stupid!
**[18:42] Kara**
No, this can't be right, Osomatsu.
**[18:44] Oso**
Huh?
**[18:45] Kara**
There's no way he did that on his own.
He must've lost some bet or something.
**[18:49] Oso**
Lost a bet?
**[18:51] Kara**
I'm right, aren't I? You guys put
Choromatsu up to this, didn't you?
**[18:54] Three**
Huh?
**[18:55] Kara**
Otherwise, why would he willingly
do that to his hair?
**[18:58] Kara**
There's no way someone as responsible as
**[19:00] Kara**
Choromatsu would dye his hair such a lame,
shitty brown color on his own.
**[19:03] Kara**
If he did this of his own free will,
he's clearly lost his mind.
**[19:07] Kara**
He'd barely be a living organism.
**[19:10] Kara**
But Choromatsu's not like that.
**[19:13] Kara**
Hey, you guys! You've gone too far!
**[19:14] Kara**
You need to apologize to Choromatsu for
making him get this crazy hair color!
**[19:18] Three**
**You *need to apologize!*
**[19:20] Todo**
* In the end, you're the*
* one who hurt him most!*
**[19:22] Ichi**
* It's even worse because*
* he's trying to be nice!*
**[19:26] Todo**
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
**[19:28] Oso**
Totoko-chan, look at his hair!
**[19:31] Toto**
Huh? What's with your hair?
**[19:33] Toto**
You look so lame, Choromatsu-kun!
**[19:35] Toto**
I can totally tell you tried to look
cool simply by dying your hair brown!
**[19:39] Toto**
How scary!
**[19:40] Oso**
That's not it, Totoko-chan.
Apparently these three put him up to it.
**[19:45] Oso**
Isn't that mean?
**[19:46] Toto**
Huh? Yeah, that's pretty awful.
**[19:48] Toto**
I'd probably die if it were me.
**[19:51] Toto**
Choromatsu-kun, are you okay?
**[19:55] Todo**
*Please, just stop!*
**[19:57] Ichi**
*Fappymatsu's life is already at zero!*
**[19:59] Jyu**
*Nii-san!*
**[20:02] All**
*Huh?*
**[20:03] Choro**
You're right, Osomatsu-niisan,
Karamatsu-niisan, Totoko-chan!
**[20:08] Choro**
They're so mean! They made
me dye my hair like this!
**[20:12] All**
*What?!*
**[20:13] Todo**
*He shifted the blame!*
**[20:14] Jyu**
*Seriously?!*
**[20:15] Ichi**
* Self-Awarenessmatsu's defense*
* mechanisms are insane!*
**[20:18] Choro**
They totally forced me to dye
my hair this lame color!
**[20:21] Choro**
It doesn't look good on me at all...
**[20:24] Choro**
So lame! I look awful!
**[20:27] Kara**
Are you all right, Choromatsu?
**[20:29] Toto**
Choromatsu-kun?
**[20:30] Oso**
Are you in that much shock?
**[20:32] Choro**
Of course I'm shocked, you dumbass!
**[20:34] Choro**
I'm gonna die! This hair color is so weird!
**[20:36] Choro**
I'm gonna die! It's so damn lame!
**[20:38] Choro**
Why is my year starting like this?!
I'm gonna die!
**[20:40] Kara**
Choromatsu!
**[20:42] Toto**
Choromatsu-kun!
**[20:43] Oso**
Hey, Choromatsu!
**[20:48] Oso**
Hey, do you guys actually
realize what you've done?
**[20:52] Oso**
Look at him! Choromatsu's completely broken.
**[20:55] Choro**
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
**[20:58] Kara**
He won't stop mumbling.
**[20:58] Choro**
I might be better off dead...
**[21:01] Kara**
He might die at this rate.
**[21:03] Oso**
Come on, guys, apologize.
**[21:06] Oso**
You guys did this to him, right? Go on.
**[21:12] Todo**
S-Sorry...
**[21:14] Ichi**
Sorry.
**[21:15] Todo**
We went a bit too far.
**[21:18] Ichi**
We'll never force him to dye his hair again.
**[21:20] Jyu**
We're sorry.
**[21:23] Oso**
All right, let's go to the bathhouse.
**[21:25] Kara**
Jeez. We can't take our eyes off them
for even a second, Osomatsu.
**[21:30] Kara**
Let's continue to guide them
as the two top brothers.
**[21:34] Oso**
Yeah. Pleasure working with you, Karamatsu.
**[21:36] Kara**
Back at you.
**[21:55] Choro**
I'm so sorry!
***SIGN***
End
***SIGN*** Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
**[23:34] Oso**
Hey, it's Osomatsu!
**[23:35] Oso**
Next week, it's going to be
"Jar," "Taxi," and "Quiz."
**[23:39] Oso**
Those three!
**[23:40] Oso**
What do you guys think about that lineup?
**[23:43] Oso**
Yeah, pretty stupid, right?
**[23:45] Oso**
I mean, it usually is.
**[23:47] Oso**
Even though the cast are all adults.
***SIGN*** "Jar" "Karamatsu Taxi" "Totty Quiz" etc.
**[23:49] Oso**
I feel bad, too.