E13 - Sanematsu-san / Girlymatsu-san / Accident? Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    -Our Story So Far- SIGN    Dekoboko Corporation SIGN    No Smoking     in the Office [00:06] Boss     Sanematsu-kun, are you even trying? [00:09] Boss     If this keeps up, I might     have to have you quit. [00:13] Lady     Sanematsu-san, I asked you to     take care of this, didn't I? [00:19] Guy     Please take care of this by the     end of today, Sanematsu-senpai. [00:24] Lady     No, he totally groped me! [00:28] Sane     I did not. [00:29] Lady     You totally did! [00:32] Guy     Well, I have to take her at her word.     Could I get your name, sir? [00:37] Sane     But I didn't— [00:38] Guy     Your name! [00:41] Sane     It... [00:43] Sane     It's Sanematsu... SIGN    Weekly Serial Drama     Sanematsu-san SIGN    Episode 3 SIGN    Oden Fair All Year Round SIGN    Incoming Call SIGN    Mom SIGN    Dekoboko Corporation [01:38] Sane     Good morning. [01:47] Kaoru     Good morning. [01:50] Sane     Good morning. [02:25] Kaoru     You got food from the convenience     store again, Sanematsu-san? [02:29] Kaoru     You need to eat right. [02:31] Kaoru     Say, why don't we get lunch together? [02:33] Sane     Huh? I, uh... [02:36] Guy     Kaoruko-chan. [02:37] Guy     Sanematsu-senpai likes to eat     alone. Don't you, Senpai? [02:42] Guy     Come on. Let's go. [02:50] Boss     I guess you do get hungry, at least. [03:28] Person     I'm done! [03:30] Sane     Thanks for your hard work. [03:32] Boss     Sanematsu-kun. [03:33] Boss     I have something else I'd like you to do today. [03:37] Boss     You have time, right? [03:40] Sane     Huh? Uh... Not today, actually... [03:49] Boss     "Not today, actually"? He never stays late. [03:54] Guy     He's unmarried, almost forty, and no girlfriend. [03:57] Guy     What could he possibly be     in a hurry to get home for? [04:03] Guy     Hey, Kaoruko-chan. Wanna go for a drink? SIGN    Interactive Supermarket SIGN    Time Sale 50% Off SIGN    Winter Items Special Sale [04:32] Sane     I'm home! [04:34] Five     Welcome back! [04:42] Six     Let's eat! [04:47] Sane     Hey, Kadomatsu, don't eat just meat. [04:51] Hira     You're such a kid, Kadomatsu-niisan. [04:54] Kado     Shut up. [04:56] Sane     Hiramatsu. [04:56] Hira     Hm? [04:57] Sane     Grab me a plate. [04:58] Hira     Sure. [05:01] Sane     Thanks. [05:03] Sane     Oh, yeah. Sutematsu. [05:04] Sute     Yeah? [05:05] Sane     I stopped by Qlo Qlo on my way home today... [05:10] Sane     Here. It must be rough     commuting by bike every day. [05:14] Sute     Thanks, Sanematsu-niisan! [05:16] Hira     Aw, it's not fair that only     Sutematsu-niisan gets something. [05:19] Sane     I just got you a scarf not long ago, Hiramatsu. [05:23] Sute     Yay! [05:24] Hira     Boo. [05:27] Toku     But you're amazing, Sanematsu-niisan. [05:29] Toku     You work, cook, and take care of us, too. [05:34] Sane     What's with you, Tokumatsu?     Flattery will get you nowhere. [05:38] Kado     Tokumatsu, you just want money, don't you? [05:41] Toku     I do not! [05:42] Kado     You always use the same method.     It's way too obvious. [05:49] Sane     Hey, Kikumatsu. [05:51] Sane     Is your new job going well? [05:53] Kiku     Huh? Well, I guess it's... going. [05:57] Hira     Always taking things at your own pace, huh? [06:00] Sane     Kikumatsu, once you're a part of society, [06:02] Sane     you need to consider those around you. [06:04] Kiku     Like you can talk, Sanematsu-niisan.     You hate people. [06:07] Hira     True. [06:10] Sane     Hey, I do not. [06:27] Guy     Hey! Come on! [06:44] Kaoru     Sanematsu-san? [06:51] Kaoru     Sanematsu-san? [06:59] Kaoru     Sanematsu-san? [07:05] Sane     Hey, Kikumatsu. [07:07] Sane     Is your new job going well? [07:09] Kiku     Huh? Well, I guess it's... going. [07:12] Hira     Always taking things at your own pace, huh? SIGN    End [07:38] Nar     Next time on "Sanematsu-san"... SIGN    Next Time [07:40] Nar     Kadomatsu gets married, [07:41] Nar     Hiramatsu changes his image, [07:43] Nar     Kikumatsu has a secret, [07:45] Nar     and Akamatsu, Shigematsu,     and Tokiwamatsu appear. [07:48] Nar     Next time: "Which One Is Sanematsu?" SIGN    Episode 4: Which One Is Sanematsu? [07:51] Nar     Look forward to it. [07:54] All     Osoko! [07:55] Oso     Hi! [07:56] Oso     I'm told that I'm the reliable, no-nonsense     type, but I can be cute, too! [08:01] All     Karako! [08:03] Kara     Heyo! [08:04] Kara     Not bad. You managed to     keep up with me. You pass! SIGN    Anime Kan [08:08] All     Choroko! [08:10] Choro     What? SIGN    Fu [08:11] Choro     Do you prefer Chibi x Dayo, or Dayo x Chibi? [08:13] Choro     Iya x Hata is definitely no good, though. [08:16] All     Ichiko! [08:17] Ichi     Yes? [08:19] Ichi     Living is all about the balance between     soul and body. Do you understand? [08:24] All     Jyushiko! [08:27] Jyu     Hey, I totally just saw that guy! [08:29] Jyu     That young, handsome, hot actor guy! SIGN    Mount Matsuo [08:32] All     Todoko! [08:34] Todo     Yahoo! [08:36] Todo     Hey, guys. All of us on Earth are     friends riding the same spaceship, right? SIGN    Girlymatsu-san [08:40] All     Girlymatsu-san! [08:44] Oso     Hey, we're already here. [08:46] Oso     Yeah, we'll wait, but just hurry up. [08:50] Oso     Okay, got it. [08:52] Oso     He said they have overtime. [08:54] Oso     God, they have some nerve,     making girls wait. [08:57] Ichi     I wonder if they really have overtime. [09:00] Ichi     Did you make sure, Osoko? [09:02] Jyu     Wait, what? What's that mean, Ichiko? [09:05] Ichi     Maybe they're trying to escape. [09:07] Choro     Or maybe... [09:09] Choro     The boss grabbed the     subordinate by the necktie, [09:11] Choro     and said, "I'm never letting     you go," or something! [09:15] Kara     There it is! Choroko's delusions! [09:17] Kara     Seriously, you only think     of the most pervy things. [09:20] Choro     What? You must be talking about yourself. [09:22] Kara     I vent everything out with sports. [09:24] Ichi     You liar. I know you're a slave to lust. [09:30] Todo     So pervy and gross. [09:32] Kara     What the heck? You two are so mean! [09:34] Oso     Hey, stop arguing. You're     gonna scare the guys away. [09:38] ---     Hmph. [09:40] Jyu     Hey, Osoko. What are the guys     that are coming today like? [09:44] Oso     They're my juniors at work. [09:45] Jyu     Oh, so they're younger! [09:47] Oso     They're good guys.     They adore me like an older sister. [09:51] Kara     You teaching them all sorts of things? [09:55] Todo     Ugh, stop saying vulgar things like that, Karako. [09:59] Kara     Oh, please. Stop trying to act     like you're better than us. [10:02] Kara     I know you're the nastiest one of us all. [10:05] Jyu     Wait, what? What's that mean? [10:07] Ichi     I don't know if you're trying to be     a forest girl or a mountain girl, [10:10] Ichi     but you ask a guy to go hiking with you [10:13] Ichi     just so you can have him carry your     bags and pay all the expenses. [10:16] Todo     That's not true! They just offer... [10:19] Ichi     Then you could decline. [10:21] Ichi     You say you're the warm type,     but you know exactly what you're doing. [10:23] Todo     Don't make it sound so bad. [10:25] Kara     You're the personification of a sly fox. [10:28] Oso     You guys might not get it yet,     but that also lets the guys save face. [10:34] Oso     Right, Todoko? [10:35] Todo     R-Right. [10:36] Oso     We girls have a duty to let guys     comfortably pay for us. [10:42] Oso     You all take being popular too lightly. [10:44] Oso     You have to think about popularity every day. [10:47] Oso     At times, it's the freedom     you have by being younger. [10:49] Oso     At times, it's being approachable to peers. [10:51] Oso     And at times, it's the cuteness     your youth gives you. [10:54] Oso     I wouldn't call it trying to get attention,     but... How do I put this... [10:58] Oso     Being a girl can be difficult. [11:00] Ichi     Get real, Osoko. [11:01] Oso     What?! [11:02] Ichi     You'd go that far just to be popular? [11:04] Ichi     I don't get it at all. It's so strange. [11:06] Jyu     I know, right? It's totally okay     if you're popular just because, [11:10] Jyu     but trying so hard to be popular     is just greedy and lame. [11:13] Oso     Then stop with the love-me-I'm-loose makeup! [11:17] Oso     "It's not like I'm asking them to treat me nice, [11:19] Oso     but they do, so I don't know what to do. [11:21] Oso     Does that mean they like me?" [11:24] ---     Are you bragging about that?     Of course you are! [11:27] Oso     I see right through it     because you're so shallow! [11:29] Oso     And you guys stupid enough to fall for     the cute, fragile act are just as bad! [11:33] Oso     You shithead guys must be blind! [11:35] Oso     Girls who try to get prettier by fucking     are expected to be two or three-timers. [11:38] Oso     Why don't you get that those terrifying     girls are listening to your love issues [11:41] Oso     on purpose just to get some,     and don't care if you're married or not? [11:43] Oso     I spend so much time getting close     to guys with my older sister character, [11:46] Oso     luring them in slowly, and just when     I'm about to get my claws into them, [11:48] Oso     they get stolen away from me! Why?! [11:50] Oso     Are guys stupid? Are guys     seriously that stupid?! [11:53] Oso     Die! [11:56] Jyu     That's so mean, Osoko...     Is that what you think of me? [12:02] Jyu     But I guess that's my fault, too. [12:04] Jyu     Because I was insensitive and annoyed everyone. [12:10] Jyu     I guess you'd be better off if I weren't here at all! [12:15] Ichi     I know how you feel. [12:17] Jyu     Ichiko... [12:18] Ichi     No one is a bigger enemy     to women than other women. [12:21] Jyu     Huh? [12:22] Ichi     The other day, [12:24] Ichi     someone from work asked me if it was     true that I have partial dentures... [12:28] Ichi     On purpose. [12:29] Todo     Wait, do you? [12:31] Ichi     To be precise, they're implants,     not partial dentures. [12:34] Choro     Gum disease? [12:34] Ichi     Who cares what it is? [12:36] Ichi     What are they implying by "partial     dentures"? That my breath stinks? [12:39] Ichi     That's so rude! [12:43] Choro     Ichiko, I've never mentioned this, [12:47] Choro     but your breath really does stink. [12:48] Ichi     Huh?! [12:49] Choro     It kind of smells like sewage. [12:51] Ichi     No way! [12:52] Kara     Maybe it's an internal problem. [12:54] Ichi     What? You don't change your     underwear for, like, three days. [12:57] Ichi     You stink way more than me, Karako! [12:59] Choro     Ew, that's disgusting. [13:00] Kara     I can't help it if I can't take a bath! [13:03] Kara     I at least turn them inside-out! [13:05] Todo     You can't be serious! [13:07] Todo     I always thought you smelled     like an old man, Karako. [13:10] Todo     But it actually goes beyond that.     You're more like a wild animal. [13:12] Todo     Like, you'd do your business anywhere,     even if people were looking. [13:15] Choro     She went there! [13:17] Kara     Who are you calling an animal, huh?! [13:20] Kara     All you guys think about all     day is fuck, fuck, fucking! [13:23] Kara     All you think about is fucking all day! [13:25] Kara     You're more like animals than I am! [13:28] Oso     Karako, stop! [13:31] Oso     I know you're actually a good person, Karako. [13:35] Oso     I know you felt bad when     a dragonfly got stuck, [13:37] Oso     but tore it in half when     you tried to pull it free. [13:39] Oso     And that you felt bad when a dog wouldn't     leave your side, so you threw water on it. [13:42] Oso     I know all of that. [13:46] Kara     Osoko... [13:47] Oso     We'll be friends forever. [13:49] Ichi     We're all soulmates of the soul. [13:51] Jyu     Let's stay BFFs even when     we're all old and wrinkly. [13:54] Todo     It's a promise! [13:55] Choro     We don't even need men! SIGN    Incoming Call [14:04] Oso     Hey, what are you doing? [14:06] Oso     What? You can't come? [14:08] Oso     Why?! [14:09] Oso     Hey! SIGN    The End SIGN    "Accident?" [14:19] Oso     Man... I already lost on New Year's... [14:32] Oso     I'm home. [16:16] Oso     So good! It's so good! [16:19] Jyu     So good! So good! [16:23] Dad     This is great, dear. [16:24] Mom     So good. [16:28] Todo     What's wrong, Choromatsu-niisan? [16:31] Oso     Could you hand me the ladle, Choromatsu? [16:43] Oso     Ow, that's hot! [16:45] Oso     Are you stupid? Are you friggin' stupid?! [16:47] Todo     What are you doing? [16:48] Choro     Oh, my bad. I guess there are things     you just shouldn't do, even as brothers. [16:53] Choro     My bad. [16:56] Oso     What the heck? That was     actually almost funny. [17:00] Todo     Wait, did you do something, Osomatsu-niisan? [17:02] Oso     Not really. I just accidentally     saw Choromatsu jer— [17:06] Choro     Hey! Don't say it! [17:07] Oso     Oh, who cares? We're brothers. [17:10] Choro     It's even worse because we're brothers! [17:12] Oso     Look, it's nothing to worry about... [17:15] Oso     Fappymatsu. [17:17] Todo     Hold on! Apologize to him! [17:19] Oso     Huh? [17:20] Todo     Come on, you can't call     him Fappymatsu. I mean... [17:23] Todo     It's too funny! [17:26] Choro     This sucks. They're going to     tease me about this for life. [17:31] Choro     Hey. [17:33] Choro     I always hated that about you. [17:37] Oso     Huh? [17:37] Choro     You have no tact.     Why would you say that? [17:39] Choro     All you want is attention,     you boorish human. Die. [17:42] Oso     What? [17:43] Oso     If we're going there, [17:44] Oso     who's the one who borrowed this boorish     human's dirty magazine without asking? [17:49] Todo     What? Fappymatsu-niisan     did something that vile? [17:52] Kara     I'm kinda shocked. [17:53] Ichi     That's wrong. [17:54] Jyu     So wrong! [17:55] Oso     Uh, I know that all of you do the same thing. [17:59] Todo     I-I have my own hidden in my closet. [18:03] Kara     Mine's behind the bookshelf. [18:05] Ichi     Mine's under the floor. SIGN    Everybody's Bug Encyclopedia [18:07] Jyu     Mine's in the attic. [18:08] Choro     How many dirty magazines are in this house?! [18:11] Oso     But I'm fine with all of that. [18:13] Oso     I mean, we're all brothers. I don't care     if you guys are pervs or weirdos. [18:17] Oso     And yet, this guy... [18:19] Oso     Is he trying to act like he's better than us? [18:22] Oso     Especially when he tries to act     like he's looking for a job! [18:25] Oso     You haven't even done anything! [18:27] Oso     What you are doing is going     to your room alone to fa— [18:30] Oso     Ow! Chorofappyski! [18:31] Choro     Who the hell is Chorofappyski?! [18:33] Oso     Chorofappyski! Chorofappyski! [18:33] Choro     I'm not some historical figure! I'm your brother! [18:46] Todo     Come on, stop it, you two.     You're not kids anymore. [18:50] Oso     Aww, we got scolded by the youngest     because of Alexfapper Graham Bell. [18:54] Choro     Who the hell is Alexfapper Graham Bell?! [18:57] Todo     You're in the wrong here, Osomatsu-niisan.     Idol otaku have their pride, you know. [19:02] Oso     Uh-oh. You totally stepped on a landmine. [19:04] Choro     You shouldn't even exist,     and you have the nerve to say that? [19:08] Todo     Sh-Shouldn't even exist? [19:09] Choro     Yeah. I mean, sextuplets are sort of half-assed. [19:12] Choro     Five or seven would have been better. [19:14] Todo     Huh?! [19:15] Choro     Having an even number is sort of blah. [19:17] Choro     We can't have a center. But if we had five... [19:21] Choro     It just works. [19:25] Jyu     The "Totty shouldn't exist" theory. [19:26] Todo     Piss off! [19:28] Todo     Stop moving away from me! [19:30] Todo     You know, if I weren't around,     we brothers would be in trouble! [19:32] Todo     From the top, we have stupid, painful,     Fappymatsu, Kittymatsu, and Jyushimatsu! [19:36] Todo     Who would be the good-looking one? [19:38] Ichi     Uh, you're not really that attractive. [19:41] Ichi     You're just sly. It gets boring after a while. [19:44] Todo     Shut up! [19:46] Todo     Actually, why don't you drop that     character already, Ichimatsu-niisan? [19:50] Ichi     Huh? What character? [19:51] Todo     You're totally a normie.     That was proven with the ESP kitty. [19:58] Todo     "I'm sorry, too." You're totally normal! [20:01] Todo     Zero darkness! Normal fourth brother! [20:06] Ichi     Bye! [20:07] Todo     Hey! Don't take those! [20:11] Kara     If you guys have any problems     with me, you can just tell m— [20:17] Kara     Huh? [20:21] Jyu     Gotcha! [20:24] Jyu     Here I go! [20:29] Jyu     Personal best! [20:32] Choro     Actually, when did Jyushimatsu     start acting like this? [20:32] Jyu     Butterfly! [20:34] Jyu     Crawl! [20:35] Choro     He wasn't like this as a kid, was he? [20:36] Jyu     And then butterfly! [20:37] Todo     He might actually have the most     emotional darkness of all of us. [20:37] Jyu     Breaststroke, and then butterfly! Butterfly! [20:40] Choro     Creepy! [20:42] Jyu     Whoa, really? Total downer. [20:45] Jyu     Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle! [20:48] Choro     That's exactly what I'm— [20:49] Oso     Fappymatsu. [20:51] Oso     Sorry about today. I made this     so that it won't ever happen again. SIGN    Caution: Fapping in Progress [20:56] Oso     Use it next time. [20:58] Choro     You're making fun of me! [21:00] Oso     What the hell?! [21:02] Todo     That's enough! [21:03] Ichi     Hey, Totty, is this your collection? [21:05] Todo     Hey! When did you— [21:15] Choro     Who threw that? [21:21] Ichi     That stinks! [21:23] Kra     Stop! [21:25] Todo     Stop it! [21:26] Oso     No! What the hell are you doing?! [21:29] Choro     Why, you... [21:29] Choro     Ow! [21:32] Jyu     Hi-yah! [21:35] Guys     What the hell are you doing?! [21:36] Guys     Your feet reek! [21:38] Guys     Your feet reek! [21:52] Oso     Pass the soy sauce, Choromatsu. [21:54] Choro     Here. SIGN    The End SIGN    Next Time on Osomatsu-san [23:31] Todo     This is Todomatsu. [23:32] Todo     Man, is it ever cold. [23:33] Todo     This is the season when cheese     fondue tastes the best. [23:35] Todo     Though we'd never be able to eat     something that fancy at my house. [23:39] Todo     We always have our imaginary cheese     fondue in our imaginary terrace house [23:42] Todo     and imagine we're having fun     with our imaginary friends. SIGN    "We Caught a Cold" "Todomatsu's Line" "Choromatsu-sensei" [23:45] Todo     Huh? You don't know what I'm talking about? [23:48] Todo     Neither do I.