# E13 - Sanematsu-san / Girlymatsu-san / Accident?
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR75K40NY/sanematsu-san--girlymatsu-san--accident)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** -Our Story So Far-
***SIGN*** Dekoboko Corporation
***SIGN*** No Smoking
in the Office
**[00:06] Boss**
Sanematsu-kun, are you even trying?
**[00:09] Boss**
If this keeps up, I might
have to have you quit.
**[00:13] Lady**
Sanematsu-san, I asked you to
take care of this, didn't I?
**[00:19] Guy**
Please take care of this by the
end of today, Sanematsu-senpai.
**[00:24] Lady**
No, he totally groped me!
**[00:28] Sane**
I did not.
**[00:29] Lady**
You totally did!
**[00:32] Guy**
Well, I have to take her at her word.
Could I get your name, sir?
**[00:37] Sane**
But I didn't—
**[00:38] Guy**
Your name!
**[00:41] Sane**
It...
**[00:43] Sane**
It's Sanematsu...
***SIGN*** Weekly Serial Drama
Sanematsu-san
***SIGN*** Episode 3
***SIGN*** Oden Fair All Year Round
***SIGN*** Incoming Call
***SIGN*** Mom
***SIGN*** Dekoboko Corporation
**[01:38] Sane**
Good morning.
**[01:47] Kaoru**
Good morning.
**[01:50] Sane**
Good morning.
**[02:25] Kaoru**
You got food from the convenience
store again, Sanematsu-san?
**[02:29] Kaoru**
You need to eat right.
**[02:31] Kaoru**
Say, why don't we get lunch together?
**[02:33] Sane**
Huh? I, uh...
**[02:36] Guy**
Kaoruko-chan.
**[02:37] Guy**
Sanematsu-senpai likes to eat
alone. Don't you, Senpai?
**[02:42] Guy**
Come on. Let's go.
**[02:50] Boss**
I guess you do get hungry, at least.
**[03:28] Person**
I'm done!
**[03:30] Sane**
Thanks for your hard work.
**[03:32] Boss**
Sanematsu-kun.
**[03:33] Boss**
I have something else I'd like you to do today.
**[03:37] Boss**
You have time, right?
**[03:40] Sane**
Huh? Uh... Not today, actually...
**[03:49] Boss**
"Not today, actually"? He never stays late.
**[03:54] Guy**
He's unmarried, almost forty, and no girlfriend.
**[03:57] Guy**
What could he possibly be
in a hurry to get home for?
**[04:03] Guy**
Hey, Kaoruko-chan. Wanna go for a drink?
***SIGN*** Interactive Supermarket
***SIGN*** Time Sale 50% Off
***SIGN*** Winter Items Special Sale
**[04:32] Sane**
I'm home!
**[04:34] Five**
Welcome back!
**[04:42] Six**
Let's eat!
**[04:47] Sane**
Hey, Kadomatsu, don't eat just meat.
**[04:51] Hira**
You're such a kid, Kadomatsu-niisan.
**[04:54] Kado**
Shut up.
**[04:56] Sane**
Hiramatsu.
**[04:56] Hira**
Hm?
**[04:57] Sane**
Grab me a plate.
**[04:58] Hira**
Sure.
**[05:01] Sane**
Thanks.
**[05:03] Sane**
Oh, yeah. Sutematsu.
**[05:04] Sute**
Yeah?
**[05:05] Sane**
I stopped by Qlo Qlo on my way home today...
**[05:10] Sane**
Here. It must be rough
commuting by bike every day.
**[05:14] Sute**
Thanks, Sanematsu-niisan!
**[05:16] Hira**
Aw, it's not fair that only
Sutematsu-niisan gets something.
**[05:19] Sane**
I just got you a scarf not long ago, Hiramatsu.
**[05:23] Sute**
Yay!
**[05:24] Hira**
Boo.
**[05:27] Toku**
But you're amazing, Sanematsu-niisan.
**[05:29] Toku**
You work, cook, and take care of us, too.
**[05:34] Sane**
What's with you, Tokumatsu?
Flattery will get you nowhere.
**[05:38] Kado**
Tokumatsu, you just want money, don't you?
**[05:41] Toku**
I do not!
**[05:42] Kado**
You always use the same method.
It's way too obvious.
**[05:49] Sane**
Hey, Kikumatsu.
**[05:51] Sane**
Is your new job going well?
**[05:53] Kiku**
Huh? Well, I guess it's... going.
**[05:57] Hira**
Always taking things at your own pace, huh?
**[06:00] Sane**
Kikumatsu, once you're a part of society,
**[06:02] Sane**
you need to consider those around you.
**[06:04] Kiku**
Like you can talk, Sanematsu-niisan.
You hate people.
**[06:07] Hira**
True.
**[06:10] Sane**
Hey, I do not.
**[06:27] Guy**
Hey! Come on!
**[06:44] Kaoru**
Sanematsu-san?
**[06:51] Kaoru**
Sanematsu-san?
**[06:59] Kaoru**
Sanematsu-san?
**[07:05] Sane**
Hey, Kikumatsu.
**[07:07] Sane**
Is your new job going well?
**[07:09] Kiku**
Huh? Well, I guess it's... going.
**[07:12] Hira**
Always taking things at your own pace, huh?
***SIGN*** End
**[07:38] Nar**
Next time on "Sanematsu-san"...
***SIGN*** Next Time
**[07:40] Nar**
Kadomatsu gets married,
**[07:41] Nar**
Hiramatsu changes his image,
**[07:43] Nar**
Kikumatsu has a secret,
**[07:45] Nar**
and Akamatsu, Shigematsu,
and Tokiwamatsu appear.
**[07:48] Nar**
Next time: "Which One Is Sanematsu?"
***SIGN*** Episode 4: Which One Is Sanematsu?
**[07:51] Nar**
Look forward to it.
**[07:54] All**
Osoko!
**[07:55] Oso**
Hi!
**[07:56] Oso**
* I'm told that I'm the reliable, no-nonsense*
* type, but I can be cute, too!*
**[08:01] All**
Karako!
**[08:03] Kara**
Heyo!
**[08:04] Kara**
* Not bad. You managed to*
* keep up with me. You pass!*
***SIGN*** Anime Kan
**[08:08] All**
Choroko!
**[08:10] Choro**
What?
***SIGN*** Fu
**[08:11] Choro**
*Do you prefer Chibi x Dayo, or Dayo x Chibi?*
**[08:13] Choro**
*Iya x Hata is definitely no good, though.*
**[08:16] All**
Ichiko!
**[08:17] Ichi**
Yes?
**[08:19] Ichi**
* Living is all about the balance between*
* soul and body. Do you understand?*
**[08:24] All**
Jyushiko!
**[08:27] Jyu**
*Hey, I totally just saw that guy!*
**[08:29] Jyu**
*That young, handsome, hot actor guy!*
***SIGN*** Mount Matsuo
**[08:32] All**
Todoko!
**[08:34] Todo**
Yahoo!
**[08:36] Todo**
* Hey, guys. All of us on Earth are*
* friends riding the same spaceship, right?*
***SIGN*** Girlymatsu-san
**[08:40] All**
Girlymatsu-san!
**[08:44] Oso**
Hey, we're already here.
**[08:46] Oso**
Yeah, we'll wait, but just hurry up.
**[08:50] Oso**
Okay, got it.
**[08:52] Oso**
He said they have overtime.
**[08:54] Oso**
God, they have some nerve,
making girls wait.
**[08:57] Ichi**
I wonder if they really have overtime.
**[09:00] Ichi**
Did you make sure, Osoko?
**[09:02] Jyu**
Wait, what? What's that mean, Ichiko?
**[09:05] Ichi**
Maybe they're trying to escape.
**[09:07] Choro**
Or maybe...
**[09:09] Choro**
The boss grabbed the
subordinate by the necktie,
**[09:11] Choro**
and said, "I'm never letting
you go," or something!
**[09:15] Kara**
There it is! Choroko's delusions!
**[09:17] Kara**
Seriously, you only think
of the most pervy things.
**[09:20] Choro**
What? You must be talking about yourself.
**[09:22] Kara**
I vent everything out with sports.
**[09:24] Ichi**
You liar. I know you're a slave to lust.
**[09:30] Todo**
So pervy and gross.
**[09:32] Kara**
What the heck? You two are so mean!
**[09:34] Oso**
Hey, stop arguing. You're
gonna scare the guys away.
**[09:38] ---**
Hmph.
**[09:40] Jyu**
Hey, Osoko. What are the guys
that are coming today like?
**[09:44] Oso**
They're my juniors at work.
**[09:45] Jyu**
Oh, so they're younger!
**[09:47] Oso**
They're good guys.
They adore me like an older sister.
**[09:51] Kara**
You teaching them all sorts of things?
**[09:55] Todo**
Ugh, stop saying vulgar things like that, Karako.
**[09:59] Kara**
Oh, please. Stop trying to act
like you're better than us.
**[10:02] Kara**
I know you're the nastiest one of us all.
**[10:05] Jyu**
Wait, what? What's that mean?
**[10:07] Ichi**
I don't know if you're trying to be
a forest girl or a mountain girl,
**[10:10] Ichi**
but you ask a guy to go hiking with you
**[10:13] Ichi**
just so you can have him carry your
bags and pay all the expenses.
**[10:16] Todo**
That's not true! They just offer...
**[10:19] Ichi**
Then you could decline.
**[10:21] Ichi**
You say you're the warm type,
but you know exactly what you're doing.
**[10:23] Todo**
Don't make it sound so bad.
**[10:25] Kara**
You're the personification of a sly fox.
**[10:28] Oso**
You guys might not get it yet,
but that also lets the guys save face.
**[10:34] Oso**
Right, Todoko?
**[10:35] Todo**
R-Right.
**[10:36] Oso**
We girls have a duty to let guys
comfortably pay for us.
**[10:42] Oso**
You all take being popular too lightly.
**[10:44] Oso**
You have to think about popularity every day.
**[10:47] Oso**
At times, it's the freedom
you have by being younger.
**[10:49] Oso**
At times, it's being approachable to peers.
**[10:51] Oso**
And at times, it's the cuteness
your youth gives you.
**[10:54] Oso**
I wouldn't call it trying to get attention,
but... How do I put this...
**[10:58] Oso**
Being a girl can be difficult.
**[11:00] Ichi**
Get real, Osoko.
**[11:01] Oso**
What?!
**[11:02] Ichi**
You'd go that far just to be popular?
**[11:04] Ichi**
I don't get it at all. It's so strange.
**[11:06] Jyu**
I know, right? It's totally okay
if you're popular just because,
**[11:10] Jyu**
but trying so hard to be popular
is just greedy and lame.
**[11:13] Oso**
Then stop with the love-me-I'm-loose makeup!
**[11:17] Oso**
"It's not like I'm asking them to treat me nice,
**[11:19] Oso**
but they do, so I don't know what to do.
**[11:21] Oso**
Does that mean they like me?"
**[11:24] ---**
Are you bragging about that?
Of course you are!
**[11:27] Oso**
I see right through it
because you're so shallow!
**[11:29] Oso**
And you guys stupid enough to fall for
the cute, fragile act are just as bad!
**[11:33] Oso**
You shithead guys must be blind!
**[11:35] Oso**
Girls who try to get prettier by fucking
are expected to be two or three-timers.
**[11:38] Oso**
Why don't you get that those terrifying
girls are listening to your love issues
**[11:41] Oso**
on purpose just to get some,
and don't care if you're married or not?
**[11:43] Oso**
I spend so much time getting close
to guys with my older sister character,
**[11:46] Oso**
luring them in slowly, and just when
I'm about to get my claws into them,
**[11:48] Oso**
they get stolen away from me! Why?!
**[11:50] Oso**
Are guys stupid? Are guys
seriously that stupid?!
**[11:53] Oso**
Die!
**[11:56] Jyu**
That's so mean, Osoko...
Is that what you think of me?
**[12:02] Jyu**
But I guess that's my fault, too.
**[12:04] Jyu**
Because I was insensitive and annoyed everyone.
**[12:10] Jyu**
I guess you'd be better off if I weren't here at all!
**[12:15] Ichi**
I know how you feel.
**[12:17] Jyu**
Ichiko...
**[12:18] Ichi**
No one is a bigger enemy
to women than other women.
**[12:21] Jyu**
Huh?
**[12:22] Ichi**
The other day,
**[12:24] Ichi**
someone from work asked me if it was
true that I have partial dentures...
**[12:28] Ichi**
On purpose.
**[12:29] Todo**
Wait, do you?
**[12:31] Ichi**
To be precise, they're implants,
not partial dentures.
**[12:34] Choro**
Gum disease?
**[12:34] Ichi**
Who cares what it is?
**[12:36] Ichi**
What are they implying by "partial
dentures"? That my breath stinks?
**[12:39] Ichi**
That's so rude!
**[12:43] Choro**
Ichiko, I've never mentioned this,
**[12:47] Choro**
but your breath really does stink.
**[12:48] Ichi**
Huh?!
**[12:49] Choro**
It kind of smells like sewage.
**[12:51] Ichi**
No way!
**[12:52] Kara**
Maybe it's an internal problem.
**[12:54] Ichi**
What? You don't change your
underwear for, like, three days.
**[12:57] Ichi**
You stink way more than me, Karako!
**[12:59] Choro**
Ew, that's disgusting.
**[13:00] Kara**
I can't help it if I can't take a bath!
**[13:03] Kara**
I at least turn them inside-out!
**[13:05] Todo**
You can't be serious!
**[13:07] Todo**
I always thought you smelled
like an old man, Karako.
**[13:10] Todo**
But it actually goes beyond that.
You're more like a wild animal.
**[13:12] Todo**
Like, you'd do your business anywhere,
even if people were looking.
**[13:15] Choro**
She went there!
**[13:17] Kara**
Who are you calling an animal, huh?!
**[13:20] Kara**
All you guys think about all
day is fuck, fuck, fucking!
**[13:23] Kara**
All you think about is fucking all day!
**[13:25] Kara**
You're more like animals than I am!
**[13:28] Oso**
Karako, stop!
**[13:31] Oso**
I know you're actually a good person, Karako.
**[13:35] Oso**
I know you felt bad when
a dragonfly got stuck,
**[13:37] Oso**
but tore it in half when
you tried to pull it free.
**[13:39] Oso**
And that you felt bad when a dog wouldn't
leave your side, so you threw water on it.
**[13:42] Oso**
I know all of that.
**[13:46] Kara**
Osoko...
**[13:47] Oso**
We'll be friends forever.
**[13:49] Ichi**
We're all soulmates of the soul.
**[13:51] Jyu**
Let's stay BFFs even when
we're all old and wrinkly.
**[13:54] Todo**
It's a promise!
**[13:55] Choro**
We don't even need men!
***SIGN*** Incoming Call
**[14:04] Oso**
Hey, what are you doing?
**[14:06] Oso**
What? You can't come?
**[14:08] Oso**
Why?!
**[14:09] Oso**
Hey!
***SIGN*** The End
***SIGN*** "Accident?"
**[14:19] Oso**
Man... I already lost on New Year's...
**[14:32] Oso**
I'm home.
**[16:16] Oso**
So good! It's so good!
**[16:19] Jyu**
So good! So good!
**[16:23] Dad**
This is great, dear.
**[16:24] Mom**
So good.
**[16:28] Todo**
What's wrong, Choromatsu-niisan?
**[16:31] Oso**
Could you hand me the ladle, Choromatsu?
**[16:43] Oso**
Ow, that's hot!
**[16:45] Oso**
Are you stupid? Are you friggin' stupid?!
**[16:47] Todo**
What are you doing?
**[16:48] Choro**
Oh, my bad. I guess there are things
you just shouldn't do, even as brothers.
**[16:53] Choro**
My bad.
**[16:56] Oso**
What the heck? That was
actually almost funny.
**[17:00] Todo**
Wait, did you do something, Osomatsu-niisan?
**[17:02] Oso**
Not really. I just accidentally
saw Choromatsu jer—
**[17:06] Choro**
Hey! Don't say it!
**[17:07] Oso**
Oh, who cares? We're brothers.
**[17:10] Choro**
It's even worse because we're brothers!
**[17:12] Oso**
Look, it's nothing to worry about...
**[17:15] Oso**
Fappymatsu.
**[17:17] Todo**
Hold on! Apologize to him!
**[17:19] Oso**
Huh?
**[17:20] Todo**
Come on, you can't call
him Fappymatsu. I mean...
**[17:23] Todo**
It's too funny!
**[17:26] Choro**
* This sucks. They're going to*
* tease me about this for life.*
**[17:31] Choro**
Hey.
**[17:33] Choro**
I always hated that about you.
**[17:37] Oso**
Huh?
**[17:37] Choro**
You have no tact.
Why would you say that?
**[17:39] Choro**
All you want is attention,
you boorish human. Die.
**[17:42] Oso**
What?
**[17:43] Oso**
If we're going there,
**[17:44] Oso**
who's the one who borrowed this boorish
human's dirty magazine without asking?
**[17:49] Todo**
What? Fappymatsu-niisan
did something that vile?
**[17:52] Kara**
I'm kinda shocked.
**[17:53] Ichi**
That's wrong.
**[17:54] Jyu**
So wrong!
**[17:55] Oso**
Uh, I know that all of you do the same thing.
**[17:59] Todo**
I-I have my own hidden in my closet.
**[18:03] Kara**
Mine's behind the bookshelf.
**[18:05] Ichi**
Mine's under the floor.
***SIGN*** Everybody's Bug Encyclopedia
**[18:07] Jyu**
Mine's in the attic.
**[18:08] Choro**
How many dirty magazines are in this house?!
**[18:11] Oso**
But I'm fine with all of that.
**[18:13] Oso**
I mean, we're all brothers. I don't care
if you guys are pervs or weirdos.
**[18:17] Oso**
And yet, this guy...
**[18:19] Oso**
Is he trying to act like he's better than us?
**[18:22] Oso**
Especially when he tries to act
like he's looking for a job!
**[18:25] Oso**
You haven't even done anything!
**[18:27] Oso**
What you *are* doing is going
to your room alone to fa—
**[18:30] Oso**
Ow! Chorofappyski!
**[18:31] Choro**
Who the hell is Chorofappyski?!
**[18:33] Oso**
Chorofappyski! Chorofappyski!
**[18:33] Choro**
I'm not some historical figure! I'm your brother!
**[18:46] Todo**
Come on, stop it, you two.
You're not kids anymore.
**[18:50] Oso**
Aww, we got scolded by the youngest
because of Alexfapper Graham Bell.
**[18:54] Choro**
Who the hell is Alexfapper Graham Bell?!
**[18:57] Todo**
You're in the wrong here, Osomatsu-niisan.
Idol otaku have their pride, you know.
**[19:02] Oso**
Uh-oh. You totally stepped on a landmine.
**[19:04] Choro**
You shouldn't even exist,
and you have the nerve to say that?
**[19:08] Todo**
Sh-Shouldn't even exist?
**[19:09] Choro**
Yeah. I mean, sextuplets are sort of half-assed.
**[19:12] Choro**
Five or seven would have been better.
**[19:14] Todo**
Huh?!
**[19:15] Choro**
Having an even number is sort of blah.
**[19:17] Choro**
We can't have a center. But if we had five...
**[19:21] Choro**
It just works.
**[19:25] Jyu**
The "Totty shouldn't exist" theory.
**[19:26] Todo**
Piss off!
**[19:28] Todo**
Stop moving away from me!
**[19:30] Todo**
You know, if I weren't around,
we brothers would be in trouble!
**[19:32] Todo**
From the top, we have stupid, painful,
Fappymatsu, Kittymatsu, and Jyushimatsu!
**[19:36] Todo**
Who would be the good-looking one?
**[19:38] Ichi**
Uh, you're not really that attractive.
**[19:41] Ichi**
You're just sly. It gets boring after a while.
**[19:44] Todo**
Shut up!
**[19:46] Todo**
Actually, why don't you drop that
character already, Ichimatsu-niisan?
**[19:50] Ichi**
Huh? What character?
**[19:51] Todo**
You're totally a normie.
That was proven with the ESP kitty.
**[19:58] Todo**
"I'm sorry, too." You're totally normal!
**[20:01] Todo**
Zero darkness! Normal fourth brother!
**[20:06] Ichi**
Bye!
**[20:07] Todo**
Hey! Don't take those!
**[20:11] Kara**
If you guys have any problems
with me, you can just tell m—
**[20:17] Kara**
Huh?
**[20:21] Jyu**
Gotcha!
**[20:24] Jyu**
Here I go!
**[20:29] Jyu**
Personal best!
**[20:32] Choro**
Actually, when did Jyushimatsu
start acting like this?
**[20:32] Jyu**
Butterfly!
**[20:34] Jyu**
Crawl!
**[20:35] Choro**
He wasn't like this as a kid, was he?
**[20:36] Jyu**
And then butterfly!
**[20:37] Todo**
He might actually have the most
emotional darkness of all of us.
**[20:37] Jyu**
Breaststroke, and then butterfly! Butterfly!
**[20:40] Choro**
Creepy!
**[20:42] Jyu**
Whoa, really? Total downer.
**[20:45] Jyu**
Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
**[20:48] Choro**
That's exactly what I'm—
**[20:49] Oso**
Fappymatsu.
**[20:51] Oso**
Sorry about today. I made this
so that it won't ever happen again.
***SIGN*** Caution: Fapping in Progress
**[20:56] Oso**
Use it next time.
**[20:58] Choro**
You're making fun of me!
**[21:00] Oso**
What the hell?!
**[21:02] Todo**
That's enough!
**[21:03] Ichi**
Hey, Totty, is this your collection?
**[21:05] Todo**
Hey! When did you—
**[21:15] Choro**
Who threw that?
**[21:21] Ichi**
That stinks!
**[21:23] Kra**
Stop!
**[21:25] Todo**
Stop it!
**[21:26] Oso**
No! What the hell are you doing?!
**[21:29] Choro**
Why, you...
**[21:29] Choro**
Ow!
**[21:32] Jyu**
Hi-yah!
**[21:35] Guys**
What the hell are you doing?!
**[21:36] Guys**
Your feet reek!
**[21:38] Guys**
*Your* feet reek!
**[21:52] Oso**
Pass the soy sauce, Choromatsu.
**[21:54] Choro**
Here.
***SIGN*** The End
***SIGN*** Next Time on Osomatsu-san
**[23:31] Todo**
This is Todomatsu.
**[23:32] Todo**
Man, is it ever cold.
**[23:33] Todo**
This is the season when cheese
fondue tastes the best.
**[23:35] Todo**
Though we'd never be able to eat
something that fancy at my house.
**[23:39] Todo**
We always have our imaginary cheese
fondue in our imaginary terrace house
**[23:42] Todo**
and imagine we're having fun
with our imaginary friends.
***SIGN*** "We Caught a Cold" "Todomatsu's Line" "Choromatsu-sensei"
**[23:45] Todo**
Huh? You don't know what I'm talking about?
**[23:48] Todo**
Neither do I.