E13 - End of the Year Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    "Have a Wonderful New Year" [00:13] Choro     It's the end of the year. [00:15] Oso     Sure is. [00:17] Choro     It went by fast. [00:19] Oso     Sure did. [00:21] Choro     It was a great year. [00:23] Oso     Sure was. [00:26] Choro     We slept, woke up, ate, played pachinko,     went to horse races, played mahjong, [00:30] Choro     went to a bathhouse, drank booze,     got drunk, fapped, and went to bed. [00:34] Choro     What a fulfilling year. [00:36] Choro     Is it really okay that we just     keep living such blissful lives? [00:39] Oso     I'm sure it is. [00:45] Choro     Of course it's not! Are you stupid?! [00:47] Choro     You stupid moron! [00:48] Oso     What? What the heck's going on?     Talk about scary. [00:51] Choro     We didn't do a damn thing again this year! [00:53] Choro     We haven't progressed at all! No changes! [00:56] Choro     When I was a kid, I thought people     our age were more mature. [01:02] Choro     I guess we're still children,     no matter how old we get. [01:05] Choro     And failures will always be failures. [01:09] Oso     Don't worry. There's still time. [01:12] Choro     Huh? [01:13] Oso     I mean, there's still a little bit of time     before the year's over, right? [01:17] Oso     If we hurry up and do something good, [01:19] Oso     we can say this was a good year. [01:23] Choro     I get it. [01:24] Choro     All's well that ends well. [01:26] Oso     Exactly. [01:27] Choro     But what's something good that we can do? [01:33] Oso     If we can rid the world of     one more shitty person... [01:35] Iyami     Sheeeh! [01:39] Choro     If that's the least we can do... [01:42] Both     This is our good deed! [01:44] Iyami     Sheeeh! [01:52] Both     And now for us! SIGN    End SIGN    Lottery [03:28] Oso     What? [03:29] Oso     Come on, let's buy one, Ichimatsu-chan. SIGN    "Year-End Jumbo Lottery" [03:31] Ichi     Nope. [03:32] Oso     We'll definitely win. [03:33] Ichi     We won't. [03:34] Oso     We will! [03:35] Ichi     We won't. [03:36] Oso     We will! [03:37] Ichi     We won't. [03:38] Oso     We will! [03:39] Oso     Look at that stand over there! SIGN    Big Winner! 600 million yen End of the Century Jumbo SIGN    Ultra Winner! 1st prize: 100 million yen Cream Jumbo SIGN    Big Winner! 1st prize: 300 million yen Year 200X Autumn Jumbo [03:41] Oso     Look at all those first prizes! [03:43] Oso     We'll definitely win! [03:45] Ichi     Everyone else might win, but I won't. [03:48] Oso     But you will! [03:49] Ichi     I won't. I know this. [03:53] Oso     Ichimatsu-chan! [04:06] Kara     Ichimatsu. [04:09] Kara     Ichimatsu, this way. [04:13] Kara     This way. [04:15] Ichi     Huh? [04:23] Kara     This way. [04:28] Kara     This way, this way. [04:33] Kara     This way. [04:47] Kara     There. Take a look at that. SIGN    Lottery SIGN    Lottery SIGN    Big Winner SIGN    Achieve your dreams! SIGN    You'll win if you buy!! [04:53] Kara     What do you think of that stand? [04:55] Ichi     What's with that stand? It reeks of danger. [04:58] Kara     But that's why it's so interesting. [05:00] Kara     We might actually win if we buy from there. [05:02] Ichi     But it's dangerous. [05:04] Kara     We've got to take some risks     if we want to strike it rich. [05:09] Ichi     We going? [05:10] Ichi     Let's go. [05:13] Kara     Excuse us! [05:14] Ichi     A lottery ticket, please! [05:18] Both     I knew it! SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "New Year's Fest" [05:30] Toto     What the hell, Japan?     What's wrong with you, Japan? [05:33] Toto     I managed to get through Christmas     alone again this year! [05:36] Toto     I got through with my steel heart! [05:38] Toto     So why the hell are you     guys living it up with this [05:40] Toto     New Year's Fest at the end of the year? [05:43] Toto     What the hell is a New Year's Fest?! [05:44] Toto     This is Japan! Have a quiet New Year's! [05:47] Toto     Just stay at home! SIGN    New Year's Festival     Party People     Kaboom! [05:49] Toto     If I'm asked if I want to go to a     New Year's Fest, this is what I'll say... [05:53] Toto     I do! [05:54] Toto     I'm super interested! [05:56] Toto     A New Year's Fest seems like so much fun! [05:58] Toto     Like hell, Japan! You dumbasses! [06:01] Toto     This isn't a sideshow! [06:02] Toto     I'm telling you to stay home     at the end of the year! Got it?! [06:05] Toto     Have a wonderful New Year! SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Pounding Mochi" [07:11] Dayon     Huh? [07:13] Dayon     Huh? Dekapan... [07:16] Dayon     Dekapan's gone... SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Playing in the Snow" [07:30] Chibita     What the heck? [07:32] Chibita     Hey, what are you guys making? An igloo? [07:39] Chibi     How stupid. [07:41] Chibi     You're adults now. Quit playing     in the snow, you idjits. [07:54] Jyu     We did it! [07:57] Oso     Yay! [07:58] Jyu     Yay! [08:01] Chibi     The hell?! You idjits! [08:02] Chibi     Damn it! SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Playing in the Snow 2" SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Kasa Jizou Statues" [08:41] Iyami     Sheeeh! [08:43] Iyami     Me doesn't want to be poor! [08:45] Iyami     Me wants to eat mochi, drink alcohol,     and be extravagant on New Year's Eve! [08:49] Iyami     Me is so sick of being poor! [08:52] Hata     Now, dear, don't worry, jo. [08:55] Hata     I made all of these straw     hats this year, jo. [08:58] Hata     I'll sell them in town and make lots of money     so we can have a fun New Year's, jo. [09:05] Hata     Jo. [09:06] Iyami     Sheeeh! [09:08] Hata     Jo! [09:11] Iyami     Hurry up and go sell them! [09:19] Hata     Jo? [09:22] Hata     Jizou statues, jo! Thank you for all your     hard work, even in this cold weather, jo. [09:26] Hata     Namu. [09:39] Hata     Jo? [09:44] Hata     Jo. [09:47] Choro     Hey, you should leave some     of those straw hats for us. [09:49] Oso     If you leave some for us,     I bet something good will happen. [09:52] ichi     Like we'd repay the debt. [09:53] Jyushi     It'd be a good deed. [09:54] Oso     Okay? [09:54] Kara     Haven't you heard this story before? [09:58] Hata     Jo... [10:04] Hata     Jo. [10:14] Hata     I did it, jo! Now the wife and I     can have a fun New Year's, jo. [10:19] Hata     Jo? [10:21] Kara     That looks good. I'm starving. [10:24] Choro     I want some alcohol, too. [10:26] Oso     If you leave some for us,     I bet something good will happen. [10:28] Ichi     Like we'd repay the debt. [10:29] Jyushi     It'll be a good deed. [10:30] Choro     Yup. [10:31] Oso     Okay? [10:32] Oso     Jo... [10:32] Kara     You left us those straw hats,     so you can do this too, right? [10:36] Hata     Jo. [10:44] Hata     Jo! [10:45] Hata     Jo! [10:48] Hata     Jo? Jo, jo, jo... [10:50] Hata     Jo! [10:57] Ichi     How naïve. You know Jizou statues     can read your thoughts, right? [11:02] Oso     Why don't you leave all that behind? [11:03] Jyu     While we're still asking nicely. [11:05] Choro     Well? [11:07] Hata     Jo! [11:14] Kara     It's no use running! [11:16] Jyushi     Jizou statues can read your mind! [11:17] Hata     Jo! [11:19] Hata     Jo... [11:24] Hata     Jo?! [11:32] Hata     Dear! [11:33] Hata     Jo! [11:41] Hata     I-I did something I shouldn't have, jo. SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "New Year's Cards" [12:07] Choro     Hey, come on, you guys. [12:10] Choro     Write your New Year's cards. [12:12] Choro     I'm telling you to write     your New Year's cards! Hey! [12:14] Choro     I didn't say draw a penis.     Write your New Year's cards. [12:17] Choro     Don't draw Cerberus just because     it's the Year of the Dog. SIGN    Karamatsu SIGN    To Matsuno Karamatsu-sama [12:19] Choro     Don't send yourself a New Year's card. SIGN    Jyushimatsu Congrats [12:23] Choro     What's the recipient     supposed to do with that? [12:25] Choro     Just write your damn New Year's cards! [12:28] Choro     Honestly, you guys are hopeless. [12:31] Choro     How can you be proper adults if you     can't even write New Year's cards? [12:35] Choro     Hey! [12:37] Oso     What?! What is this?! SIGN    Matsuno SIGN    Have a great year!! SIGN    Happy New Year. I was thankfully able to find a job!! [12:40] Oso     "Happy New Year. I was thankfully     able to find a job!" [12:45] Oso     Huh?! [12:46] Jyushi     Hey! You're lying on your New Year's card! [12:49] Ichi     Don't exaggerate on your     New Year's card, Choromatsu. [12:51] Kara     Don't exaggerate, Choromatsu! [12:58] All     Huh? [13:02] All     Wait, wait, wait, wait! SIGN    Happy New Year. I was thankfully able to find a job!! [13:04] All     Wait, wait, wait, wait! [13:05] Oso     Choromatsu! [13:06] Kara     Choromatsu! [13:11] Ichi     No, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! [13:15] Jyushi     Wait! [13:16] Oso     Seriously, you shouldn't send those! [13:18] Oso     You'll get called out in no time,     and you'll end up in Hell! [13:21] Kara     It's way too risky! Okay? [13:34] Oso     Choromatsu! [13:35] Kara     Choromatsu! SIGN    End SIGN    A certain day in December [13:44] Choro     A certain day in December... [13:47] Choro     A single man stood on the river bank. [13:47] Sign     Narration:     Matsuno Choromatsu [13:51] Choro     Matsuno Todomatsu. SIGN    Former youngest     Matsuno Family sextuplet     Matsuno Todomatsu SIGN    Yearly salary:     0 yen (estimate) [13:52] Choro     Former youngest Matsuno Family sextuplet. [13:55] Choro     Just a few days ago,     he was told he was fired. [14:00] Choro     His hoodie had no color, and there     was nothing written or drawn on it. [14:06] Choro     What in the world could've happened to him? [14:09] Choro     Why did the Matsuno Family relieve     him of being a sextuplet? [14:12] Choro     And what does the future hold for him? [14:16] Choro     We went to find out the whole story. SIGN    Discharge Notice 2017 -The Youngest Brother Who Got Fired- [14:23] Sign     Why Right Before     The 2nd Cour... [14:24] Choro     Matsuno Todomatsu joined the Matsuno     Family as the youngest sextuplet. [14:29] Choro     He was sixth in the drafts. [14:31] Choro     With his cleverness, calculating ways,     and his dry sense of humor, [14:35] Choro     this trueborn youngest brother's     shittiness far exceeded the others'. [14:38] Choro     People expected great things from him. [14:41] Todo     I'm the youngest brother, Matsuno Todomatsu! [14:43] Todo     I love all of my big brothers! [14:46] Todo     I love all of you guys, too! [14:49] Todo     When he first debuted, he showed a steady     annoyingness and did a great job. [14:54] Choro     His retorts were genius. [14:56] Todo     Why would you wear those here?     It's embarrassing! [14:59] Todo     So embarrassing! [15:00] Todo     Why?! [15:01] Todo     I'm embarrassed by you guys. [15:03] Todo     What is this, a service area?! [15:06] Todo     Not to mention, that was a bit     rude toward the Dayons, too. [15:09] Todo     Don't touch me. I'll do it. [15:10] Todo     Close, close, close, way too close! [15:12] Todo     Get your act together, Osomatsu! [15:14] Todo     Osomatsu! [15:16] Choro     However, lately... [15:18] Choro     Despite the fact that his number one     characteristic as a Matsuno Family [15:22] Choro     sextuplet should be that he's a NEET virgin, [15:23] Choro     his unfavorable actions were     starting to come to light. [15:27] Choro     On a summer beach,     he was casually flirting with girls, [15:31] Choro     and asked them for their contact     info without any hesitation. [15:34] Choro     He also attended mixers     through unknown connections, [15:37] Choro     gained high-level skills for talking to girls [15:39] Choro     normally, even at close distance, [15:41] Choro     and to top it all off, he was     going on dates with girls. [15:45] Choro     Could he possibly be called a virgin? SIGN    Dry monster SIGN    The Todomatsu problem What does he offer as a sextuplet? He's way too out of character He's lying [15:47] Choro     Is he actually a Matsuno sextuplet? [15:48] Choro     No, isn't he just a popular guy? [15:52] Choro     The decision from above came quickly. [15:57] Mom     You're being written out of the show next year. [15:59] Todo     Huh? [16:00] Choro     He received his discharge notice. [16:07] Choro     He became a freelance youngest brother. SIGN    How do you feel about     going freelance? [16:12] Choro     We asked him how he felt at the time. [16:15] Todo     Well, I have no idea what's going on. [16:18] Todo     Is this really happening to me? [16:21] Todo     But looking back, I do feel like I     haven't contributed much this season. [16:28] Todo     All I really did was scrub my ass. [16:31] Todo     I can't let things end like this. [16:33] Todo     I believe I can still be     the youngest sibling. [16:36] Todo     I mean, I'm pretty much the key for all     of us to graduate from being virgins. [16:41] Todo     I'll just have to do this. [16:42] Choro     Matsuno Todomatsu was hoping to be     reinstated as an active brother. [16:46] Choro     However, the Matsuno Family     had already filled his place [16:50] Choro     with the helper foreigner     youngest brother, Michaelmatsu. SIGN    Helper foreigner     youngest brother     Michaelmatsu [16:54] Choro     This foreign helper youngest brother,     Michael, did great work in the major leagues. [16:59] Choro     He had plenty of experience. [17:03] Maiko     Oh, come on, Osomatsu-niisan! What the heck? [17:08] Choro     Your retorts are super strong, Michaelmatsu. [17:10] Jyushi     Your retorts are so natural. [17:12] Kara     You're definitely from the     major leagues, Mighty. [17:20] Oso     It's huge! [17:20] Kara     You're definitely from the     major leagues, Mighty! [17:26] Bros     Mighty! Mighty! SIGN    Michaelmatsu SIGN    The helper youngest brother does great work!! [17:32] Choro     And so, Matsuno Todomatsu had     to wager on his last chance. [17:36] Choro     He started training at the Matsuno Family SIGN    Matsuno Family secondary team training grounds [17:38] Choro     secondary team training grounds. [17:47] Choro     And then... [17:50] Todo     Hey! Guys! [17:53] Todo     What the heck is up with this discharge     notice? I don't get it at all. [17:59] Todo     I mean, we were doing fine     together up until last week. [18:02] Todo     We were all getting along, right?     What the heck happened? [18:06] Todo     Wait, wait, wait! [18:07] Todo     Hey! Hey! [18:08] Todo     Why are you ignoring me? [18:09] Ichi     Sorry. We don't know you anymore. [18:12] Todo     Huh? [18:13] Jyushi     We live in totally different worlds now. [18:16] Choro     I mean, you've already graduated     from being a virgin, right? [18:19] Todo     No, I haven't. [18:21] Oso     You're casually screwing     all the time, aren't you? [18:23] Todo     I'm not. [18:23] Kara     Plus you're one of those party people. [18:24] Todo     Wait, who is? [18:25] Oso     Just be honest. [18:26] Oso     You've kissed someone, haven't you? [18:27] Todo     I haven't. [18:28] Oso     Then what about holding hands? [18:33] Oso     He totally shut up! [18:34] Kara     Jesus! [18:35] Jyushi     Discharge! Discharge! [18:36] Choro     Moron! [18:38] Choro     Thus, as he was told off by his brothers,     Matsuno Todomatsu knew he was [18:43] Choro     in the wrong and completely shut up. [18:45] Choro     Everything his brothers had     said was in the right! [18:48] Choro     Hear that, you dumbass?! SIGN    Day of the Tryouts [18:50] Choro     And then the fateful day arrived... SIGN    2018     Joint Anime     Tryouts [18:53] Choro     Characters who had been     discharged from various anime [18:56] Choro     gathered at the Joint Anime     Tryouts for the chance at [18:58] Choro     being chosen for a regular show next season. [19:01] Choro     They would show off their abilities     in front of industry professionals [19:05] Choro     for this final chance at     getting into an anime. [19:09] Choro     However... [19:14] Ump     Strike! [19:15] Choro     Matsuno Todomatsu wasn't hitting. [19:18] Ump     Strike! [19:19] Choro     He wouldn't hit. [19:20] Ump     Strike three, you're out! [19:22] Choro     He had zero intention of hitting the ball. [19:25] Choro     And then, on his final turn at bat,     an incident occurred... [19:42] Ump     Wh-What are you doing? [19:44] Todo     Shut up, dumbass! [19:46] Todo     What do you mean, discharge notice?! [19:48] Todo     Why am I playing baseball?! [19:50] Todo     What the hell have you guys been     making me do all this time?! [19:53] Choro     Then all hell broke loose at the tryouts,     like no one had ever seen before. [20:02] Oso     C-Calm down! [20:04] ---     Todoma— [20:05] Jyushi     Totty, wai— Boeh! [20:11] Kara     Once he snaps, he's the most dangerous. [20:13] Kara     You know, the type that's usually calm,     but gets stubborn when they get mad. [20:18] Kara     They're so scary. [20:27] Choro     Those who passed the tryouts would     be getting a call within the week. [20:33] Choro     But since he caused a huge fight,     of course he didn't hear from them. [20:37] Choro     Just when he had given up all hope... SIGN    Unknown [20:43] Todo     H-Hello? This is Matsuno Todomatsu... [20:47] Todo     Huh? [20:49] Choro     The one who gave him the     offer was an anime program [20:51] Choro     who belonged to the major     league-affiliated 2A. [20:57] Todo     I'll become the greatest youngest     brother and come back. [21:00] Todo     I'll have all kinds of mixers in America,     immediately graduate from being a virgin, [21:05] Todo     and then kill them. [21:08] Choro     Matsuno Todomatsu... His second life     being the youngest brother... [21:12] Todo     I'll kill them. [21:13] Choro     ...was just beginning. [22:49] Oso     What? Seriously? [22:51] Oso     The foreign helper youngest brother     Michaelmatsu went back to Florida? [22:55] Choro     Why'd he go back? [22:57] Dad     Apparently he just couldn't     stomach Japanese food. [23:00] Mom     Also, it seems he got a message from God. [23:03] Choro     What the hell kind of reason is that? [23:05] Kara     This is the problem with foreign helpers. [23:08] Ichi     Who scouted him, anyway? [23:10] Dad     Which means Todomatsu is coming back. [23:14] Ichi     Well, I guess that's for the best. [23:17] Jyushi     Yeah, that'd be the most peaceful option. [23:24] Totty     Hey! [23:27] All     Totty! [23:28] Totty     I'm killing all of you! [23:31] Totty     You guys are finished this year! [23:34] All     Totty! SIGN    End SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu [23:39] Choro     This is Choromatsu. [23:40] Choro     Next year, I'll finally get a job,     get a girlfriend, and even get married! [23:45] Choro     No, really. I'm not lying. [23:48] Choro     I'm telling the truth here. SIGN    "The Choromatsu Incident" etc. [23:49] Choro     I'm not lying! I can do this! [23:51] Choro     I'm going to! I want to!