# E13 - End of the Year
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRMGWWG8R/end-of-the-year)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** "Have a Wonderful New Year"
**[00:13] Choro**
It's the end of the year.
**[00:15] Oso**
Sure is.
**[00:17] Choro**
It went by fast.
**[00:19] Oso**
Sure did.
**[00:21] Choro**
It was a great year.
**[00:23] Oso**
Sure was.
**[00:26] Choro**
We slept, woke up, ate, played pachinko,
went to horse races, played mahjong,
**[00:30] Choro**
went to a bathhouse, drank booze,
got drunk, fapped, and went to bed.
**[00:34] Choro**
What a fulfilling year.
**[00:36] Choro**
Is it really okay that we just
keep living such blissful lives?
**[00:39] Oso**
I'm sure it is.
**[00:45] Choro**
Of course it's not! Are you stupid?!
**[00:47] Choro**
You stupid moron!
**[00:48] Oso**
What? What the heck's going on?
Talk about scary.
**[00:51] Choro**
We didn't do a damn thing again this year!
**[00:53] Choro**
We haven't progressed at all! No changes!
**[00:56] Choro**
When I was a kid, I thought people
our age were more mature.
**[01:02] Choro**
I guess we're still children,
no matter how old we get.
**[01:05] Choro**
And failures will always be failures.
**[01:09] Oso**
Don't worry. There's still time.
**[01:12] Choro**
Huh?
**[01:13] Oso**
I mean, there's still a little bit of time
before the year's over, right?
**[01:17] Oso**
If we hurry up and do something good,
**[01:19] Oso**
we can say this was a good year.
**[01:23] Choro**
I get it.
**[01:24] Choro**
All's well that ends well.
**[01:26] Oso**
Exactly.
**[01:27] Choro**
But what's something good that we can do?
**[01:33] Oso**
If we can rid the world of
one more shitty person...
**[01:35] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[01:39] Choro**
If that's the least we can do...
**[01:42] Both**
This is our good deed!
**[01:44] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[01:52] Both**
And now for us!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Lottery
**[03:28] Oso**
What?
**[03:29] Oso**
Come on, let's buy one, Ichimatsu-chan.
***SIGN*** "Year-End Jumbo Lottery"
**[03:31] Ichi**
Nope.
**[03:32] Oso**
We'll definitely win.
**[03:33] Ichi**
We won't.
**[03:34] Oso**
We will!
**[03:35] Ichi**
We won't.
**[03:36] Oso**
We will!
**[03:37] Ichi**
We won't.
**[03:38] Oso**
We will!
**[03:39] Oso**
Look at that stand over there!
***SIGN*** Big Winner! 600 million yen End of the Century Jumbo
***SIGN*** Ultra Winner! 1st prize: 100 million yen Cream Jumbo
***SIGN*** Big Winner! 1st prize: 300 million yen Year 200X Autumn Jumbo
**[03:41] Oso**
Look at all those first prizes!
**[03:43] Oso**
We'll definitely win!
**[03:45] Ichi**
Everyone else might win, but I won't.
**[03:48] Oso**
But you will!
**[03:49] Ichi**
I won't. I know this.
**[03:53] Oso**
Ichimatsu-chan!
**[04:06] Kara**
Ichimatsu.
**[04:09] Kara**
Ichimatsu, this way.
**[04:13] Kara**
This way.
**[04:15] Ichi**
Huh?
**[04:23] Kara**
This way.
**[04:28] Kara**
This way, this way.
**[04:33] Kara**
This way.
**[04:47] Kara**
There. Take a look at that.
***SIGN*** Lottery
***SIGN*** Lottery
***SIGN*** Big Winner
***SIGN*** Achieve your dreams!
***SIGN*** You'll win if you buy!!
**[04:53] Kara**
What do you think of that stand?
**[04:55] Ichi**
What's with that stand? It reeks of danger.
**[04:58] Kara**
But that's why it's so interesting.
**[05:00] Kara**
We might actually win if we buy from there.
**[05:02] Ichi**
But it's dangerous.
**[05:04] Kara**
We've got to take some risks
if we want to strike it rich.
**[05:09] Ichi**
We going?
**[05:10] Ichi**
Let's go.
**[05:13] Kara**
Excuse us!
**[05:14] Ichi**
A lottery ticket, please!
**[05:18] Both**
I knew it!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "New Year's Fest"
**[05:30] Toto**
What the hell, Japan?
What's wrong with you, Japan?
**[05:33] Toto**
I managed to get through Christmas
alone again this year!
**[05:36] Toto**
I got through with my steel heart!
**[05:38] Toto**
So why the hell are you
guys living it up with this
**[05:40] Toto**
New Year's Fest at the end of the year?
**[05:43] Toto**
What the hell is a New Year's Fest?!
**[05:44] Toto**
This is Japan! Have a quiet New Year's!
**[05:47] Toto**
Just stay at home!
***SIGN*** New Year's Festival
Party People
Kaboom!
**[05:49] Toto**
If I'm asked if I want to go to a
New Year's Fest, this is what I'll say...
**[05:53] Toto**
I do!
**[05:54] Toto**
I'm super interested!
**[05:56] Toto**
A New Year's Fest seems like so much fun!
**[05:58] Toto**
Like hell, Japan! You dumbasses!
**[06:01] Toto**
This isn't a sideshow!
**[06:02] Toto**
I'm telling you to stay home
at the end of the year! Got it?!
**[06:05] Toto**
Have a wonderful New Year!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "Pounding Mochi"
**[07:11] Dayon**
Huh?
**[07:13] Dayon**
Huh? Dekapan...
**[07:16] Dayon**
Dekapan's gone...
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "Playing in the Snow"
**[07:30] Chibita**
What the heck?
**[07:32] Chibita**
Hey, what are you guys making? An igloo?
**[07:39] Chibi**
How stupid.
**[07:41] Chibi**
You're adults now. Quit playing
in the snow, you idjits.
**[07:54] Jyu**
We did it!
**[07:57] Oso**
Yay!
**[07:58] Jyu**
Yay!
**[08:01] Chibi**
The hell?! You idjits!
**[08:02] Chibi**
Damn it!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "Playing in the Snow 2"
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "Kasa Jizou Statues"
**[08:41] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[08:43] Iyami**
Me doesn't want to be poor!
**[08:45] Iyami**
Me wants to eat mochi, drink alcohol,
and be extravagant on New Year's Eve!
**[08:49] Iyami**
Me is so sick of being poor!
**[08:52] Hata**
Now, dear, don't worry, jo.
**[08:55] Hata**
I made all of these straw
hats this year, jo.
**[08:58] Hata**
I'll sell them in town and make lots of money
so we can have a fun New Year's, jo.
**[09:05] Hata**
Jo.
**[09:06] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[09:08] Hata**
Jo!
**[09:11] Iyami**
Hurry up and go sell them!
**[09:19] Hata**
Jo?
**[09:22] Hata**
Jizou statues, jo! Thank you for all your
hard work, even in this cold weather, jo.
**[09:26] Hata**
Namu.
**[09:39] Hata**
Jo?
**[09:44] Hata**
Jo.
**[09:47] Choro**
Hey, you should leave some
of those straw hats for us.
**[09:49] Oso**
If you leave some for us,
I bet something good will happen.
**[09:52] ichi**
Like we'd repay the debt.
**[09:53] Jyushi**
It'd be a good deed.
**[09:54] Oso**
Okay?
**[09:54] Kara**
Haven't you heard this story before?
**[09:58] Hata**
Jo...
**[10:04] Hata**
Jo.
**[10:14] Hata**
I did it, jo! Now the wife and I
can have a fun New Year's, jo.
**[10:19] Hata**
Jo?
**[10:21] Kara**
That looks good. I'm starving.
**[10:24] Choro**
I want some alcohol, too.
**[10:26] Oso**
If you leave some for us,
I bet something good will happen.
**[10:28] Ichi**
Like we'd repay the debt.
**[10:29] Jyushi**
It'll be a good deed.
**[10:30] Choro**
Yup.
**[10:31] Oso**
Okay?
**[10:32] Oso**
Jo...
**[10:32] Kara**
You left us those straw hats,
so you can do this too, right?
**[10:36] Hata**
Jo.
**[10:44] Hata**
Jo!
**[10:45] Hata**
Jo!
**[10:48] Hata**
Jo? Jo, jo, jo...
**[10:50] Hata**
Jo!
**[10:57] Ichi**
How naïve. You know Jizou statues
can read your thoughts, right?
**[11:02] Oso**
Why don't you leave all that behind?
**[11:03] Jyu**
While we're still asking nicely.
**[11:05] Choro**
Well?
**[11:07] Hata**
Jo!
**[11:14] Kara**
It's no use running!
**[11:16] Jyushi**
Jizou statues can read your mind!
**[11:17] Hata**
Jo!
**[11:19] Hata**
Jo...
**[11:24] Hata**
Jo?!
**[11:32] Hata**
Dear!
**[11:33] Hata**
Jo!
**[11:41] Hata**
I-I did something I shouldn't have, jo.
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "New Year's Cards"
**[12:07] Choro**
Hey, come on, you guys.
**[12:10] Choro**
Write your New Year's cards.
**[12:12] Choro**
I'm telling you to write
your New Year's cards! Hey!
**[12:14] Choro**
I didn't say draw a penis.
Write your New Year's cards.
**[12:17] Choro**
Don't draw Cerberus just because
it's the Year of the Dog.
***SIGN*** Karamatsu
***SIGN*** To Matsuno Karamatsu-sama
**[12:19] Choro**
Don't send yourself a New Year's card.
***SIGN*** Jyushimatsu Congrats
**[12:23] Choro**
What's the recipient
supposed to do with that?
**[12:25] Choro**
Just write your damn New Year's cards!
**[12:28] Choro**
Honestly, you guys are hopeless.
**[12:31] Choro**
How can you be proper adults if you
can't even write New Year's cards?
**[12:35] Choro**
Hey!
**[12:37] Oso**
What?! What is this?!
***SIGN*** Matsuno
***SIGN*** Have a great year!!
***SIGN*** Happy New Year. I was thankfully able to find a job!!
**[12:40] Oso**
"Happy New Year. I was thankfully
able to find a job!"
**[12:45] Oso**
Huh?!
**[12:46] Jyushi**
Hey! You're lying on your New Year's card!
**[12:49] Ichi**
Don't exaggerate on your
New Year's card, Choromatsu.
**[12:51] Kara**
Don't exaggerate, Choromatsu!
**[12:58] All**
Huh?
**[13:02] All**
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
***SIGN*** Happy New Year. I was thankfully able to find a job!!
**[13:04] All**
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
**[13:05] Oso**
Choromatsu!
**[13:06] Kara**
Choromatsu!
**[13:11] Ichi**
No, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
**[13:15] Jyushi**
Wait!
**[13:16] Oso**
Seriously, you shouldn't send those!
**[13:18] Oso**
You'll get called out in no time,
and you'll end up in Hell!
**[13:21] Kara**
It's way too risky! Okay?
**[13:34] Oso**
Choromatsu!
**[13:35] Kara**
Choromatsu!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** A certain day in December
**[13:44] Choro**
*A certain day in December...*
**[13:47] Choro**
*A single man stood on the river bank.*
**[13:47] Sign**
Narration:
Matsuno Choromatsu
**[13:51] Choro**
*Matsuno Todomatsu.*
***SIGN*** Former youngest
Matsuno Family sextuplet
Matsuno Todomatsu
***SIGN*** Yearly salary:
0 yen (estimate)
**[13:52] Choro**
*Former youngest Matsuno Family sextuplet.*
**[13:55] Choro**
*Just a few days ago,
he was told he was fired.*
**[14:00] Choro**
* His hoodie had no color, and there*
* was nothing written or drawn on it.*
**[14:06] Choro**
*What in the world could've happened to him?*
**[14:09] Choro**
* Why did the Matsuno Family relieve*
* him of being a sextuplet?*
**[14:12] Choro**
*And what does the future hold for him?*
**[14:16] Choro**
*We went to find out the whole story.*
***SIGN*** Discharge Notice 2017 -The Youngest Brother Who Got Fired-
**[14:23] Sign**
Why Right Before
The 2nd Cour...
**[14:24] Choro**
* Matsuno Todomatsu joined the Matsuno*
* Family as the youngest sextuplet.*
**[14:29] Choro**
*He was sixth in the drafts.*
**[14:31] Choro**
* With his cleverness, calculating ways,*
* and his dry sense of humor,*
**[14:35] Choro**
* this trueborn youngest brother's*
* shittiness far exceeded the others'.*
**[14:38] Choro**
*People expected great things from him.*
**[14:41] Todo**
I'm the youngest brother, Matsuno Todomatsu!
**[14:43] Todo**
I love all of my big brothers!
**[14:46] Todo**
I love all of you guys, too!
**[14:49] Todo**
* When he first debuted, he showed a steady*
* annoyingness and did a great job.*
**[14:54] Choro**
*His retorts were genius.*
**[14:56] Todo**
Why would you wear those here?
It's embarrassing!
**[14:59] Todo**
So embarrassing!
**[15:00] Todo**
Why?!
**[15:01] Todo**
I'm embarrassed by you guys.
**[15:03] Todo**
What is this, a service area?!
**[15:06] Todo**
Not to mention, that was a bit
rude toward the Dayons, too.
**[15:09] Todo**
Don't touch me. I'll do it.
**[15:10] Todo**
Close, close, close, way too close!
**[15:12] Todo**
Get your act together, Osomatsu!
**[15:14] Todo**
Osomatsu!
**[15:16] Choro**
*However, lately...*
**[15:18] Choro**
* Despite the fact that his number one*
* characteristic as a Matsuno Family*
**[15:22] Choro**
*sextuplet should be that he's a NEET virgin,*
**[15:23] Choro**
* his unfavorable actions were*
* starting to come to light.*
**[15:27] Choro**
* On a summer beach,*
* he was casually flirting with girls,*
**[15:31] Choro**
* and asked them for their contact*
* info without any hesitation.*
**[15:34] Choro**
* He also attended mixers*
* through unknown connections,*
**[15:37] Choro**
*gained high-level skills for talking to girls*
**[15:39] Choro**
*normally, even at close distance,*
**[15:41] Choro**
* and to top it all off, he was*
* going on dates with girls.*
**[15:45] Choro**
*Could he possibly be called a virgin?*
***SIGN*** Dry monster
***SIGN*** The Todomatsu problem What does he offer as a sextuplet? He's way too out of character He's lying
**[15:47] Choro**
*Is he actually a Matsuno sextuplet?*
**[15:48] Choro**
*No, isn't he just a popular guy?*
**[15:52] Choro**
*The decision from above came quickly.*
**[15:57] Mom**
You're being written out of the show next year.
**[15:59] Todo**
Huh?
**[16:00] Choro**
*He received his discharge notice.*
**[16:07] Choro**
*He became a freelance youngest brother.*
***SIGN*** How do you feel about
going freelance?
**[16:12] Choro**
*We asked him how he felt at the time.*
**[16:15] Todo**
Well, I have no idea what's going on.
**[16:18] Todo**
Is this really happening to me?
**[16:21] Todo**
But looking back, I do feel like I
haven't contributed much this season.
**[16:28] Todo**
All I really did was scrub my ass.
**[16:31] Todo**
I can't let things end like this.
**[16:33] Todo**
I believe I can still be
the youngest sibling.
**[16:36] Todo**
I mean, I'm pretty much the key for all
of us to graduate from being virgins.
**[16:41] Todo**
I'll just have to do this.
**[16:42] Choro**
* Matsuno Todomatsu was hoping to be*
* reinstated as an active brother.*
**[16:46] Choro**
* However, the Matsuno Family*
* had already filled his place*
**[16:50] Choro**
* with the helper foreigner*
* youngest brother, Michaelmatsu.*
***SIGN*** Helper foreigner
youngest brother
Michaelmatsu
**[16:54] Choro**
* This foreign helper youngest brother,*
* Michael, did great work in the major leagues.*
**[16:59] Choro**
*He had plenty of experience.*
**[17:03] Maiko**
Oh, come on, Osomatsu-niisan! What the heck?
**[17:08] Choro**
Your retorts are super strong, Michaelmatsu.
**[17:10] Jyushi**
Your retorts are so natural.
**[17:12] Kara**
You're definitely from the
major leagues, Mighty.
**[17:20] Oso**
It's huge!
**[17:20] Kara**
You're definitely from the
major leagues, Mighty!
**[17:26] Bros**
Mighty! Mighty!
***SIGN*** Michaelmatsu
***SIGN*** The helper youngest brother does great work!!
**[17:32] Choro**
* And so, Matsuno Todomatsu had*
* to wager on his last chance.*
**[17:36] Choro**
*He started training at the Matsuno Family*
***SIGN*** Matsuno Family secondary team training grounds
**[17:38] Choro**
*secondary team training grounds.*
**[17:47] Choro**
*And then...*
**[17:50] Todo**
Hey! Guys!
**[17:53] Todo**
What the heck is up with this discharge
notice? I don't get it at all.
**[17:59] Todo**
I mean, we were doing fine
together up until last week.
**[18:02] Todo**
We were all getting along, right?
What the heck happened?
**[18:06] Todo**
Wait, wait, wait!
**[18:07] Todo**
Hey! Hey!
**[18:08] Todo**
Why are you ignoring me?
**[18:09] Ichi**
Sorry. We don't know you anymore.
**[18:12] Todo**
Huh?
**[18:13] Jyushi**
We live in totally different worlds now.
**[18:16] Choro**
I mean, you've already graduated
from being a virgin, right?
**[18:19] Todo**
No, I haven't.
**[18:21] Oso**
You're casually screwing
all the time, aren't you?
**[18:23] Todo**
I'm not.
**[18:23] Kara**
Plus you're one of those party people.
**[18:24] Todo**
Wait, who is?
**[18:25] Oso**
Just be honest.
**[18:26] Oso**
You've kissed someone, haven't you?
**[18:27] Todo**
I haven't.
**[18:28] Oso**
Then what about holding hands?
**[18:33] Oso**
He totally shut up!
**[18:34] Kara**
Jesus!
**[18:35] Jyushi**
Discharge! Discharge!
**[18:36] Choro**
Moron!
**[18:38] Choro**
* Thus, as he was told off by his brothers,*
* Matsuno Todomatsu knew he was*
**[18:43] Choro**
*in the wrong and completely shut up.*
**[18:45] Choro**
* Everything his brothers had*
* said was in the right!*
**[18:48] Choro**
*Hear that, you dumbass?!*
***SIGN*** Day of the Tryouts
**[18:50] Choro**
*And then the fateful day arrived...*
***SIGN*** 2018
Joint Anime
Tryouts
**[18:53] Choro**
* Characters who had been*
* discharged from various anime*
**[18:56] Choro**
* gathered at the Joint Anime*
* Tryouts for the chance at*
**[18:58] Choro**
*being chosen for a regular show next season.*
**[19:01] Choro**
* They would show off their abilities*
* in front of industry professionals*
**[19:05] Choro**
* for this final chance at*
* getting into an anime.*
**[19:09] Choro**
*However...*
**[19:14] Ump**
Strike!
**[19:15] Choro**
*Matsuno Todomatsu wasn't hitting.*
**[19:18] Ump**
Strike!
**[19:19] Choro**
*He wouldn't hit.*
**[19:20] Ump**
Strike three, you're out!
**[19:22] Choro**
*He had zero intention of hitting the ball.*
**[19:25] Choro**
* And then, on his final turn at bat,*
* an incident occurred...*
**[19:42] Ump**
Wh-What are you doing?
**[19:44] Todo**
Shut up, dumbass!
**[19:46] Todo**
What do you mean, discharge notice?!
**[19:48] Todo**
Why am I playing baseball?!
**[19:50] Todo**
What the hell have you guys been
making me do all this time?!
**[19:53] Choro**
* Then all hell broke loose at the tryouts,*
* like no one had ever seen before.*
**[20:02] Oso**
C-Calm down!
**[20:04] ---**
Todoma—
**[20:05] Jyushi**
Totty, wai— Boeh!
**[20:11] Kara**
Once he snaps, he's the most dangerous.
**[20:13] Kara**
You know, the type that's usually calm,
but gets stubborn when they get mad.
**[20:18] Kara**
They're so scary.
**[20:27] Choro**
* Those who passed the tryouts would*
* be getting a call within the week.*
**[20:33] Choro**
* But since he caused a huge fight,*
* of course he didn't hear from them.*
**[20:37] Choro**
*Just when he had given up all hope...*
***SIGN*** Unknown
**[20:43] Todo**
H-Hello? This is Matsuno Todomatsu...
**[20:47] Todo**
Huh?
**[20:49] Choro**
* The one who gave him the*
* offer was an anime program*
**[20:51] Choro**
* who belonged to the major*
* league-affiliated 2A.*
**[20:57] Todo**
I'll become the greatest youngest
brother and come back.
**[21:00] Todo**
I'll have all kinds of mixers in America,
immediately graduate from being a virgin,
**[21:05] Todo**
and then kill them.
**[21:08] Choro**
* Matsuno Todomatsu... His second life*
* being the youngest brother...*
**[21:12] Todo**
I'll kill them.
**[21:13] Choro**
*...was just beginning.*
**[22:49] Oso**
What? Seriously?
**[22:51] Oso**
The foreign helper youngest brother
Michaelmatsu went back to Florida?
**[22:55] Choro**
Why'd he go back?
**[22:57] Dad**
Apparently he just couldn't
stomach Japanese food.
**[23:00] Mom**
Also, it seems he got a message from God.
**[23:03] Choro**
What the hell kind of reason is that?
**[23:05] Kara**
This is the problem with foreign helpers.
**[23:08] Ichi**
Who scouted him, anyway?
**[23:10] Dad**
Which means Todomatsu is coming back.
**[23:14] Ichi**
Well, I guess that's for the best.
**[23:17] Jyushi**
Yeah, that'd be the most peaceful option.
**[23:24] Totty**
Hey!
**[23:27] All**
Totty!
**[23:28] Totty**
I'm killing all of you!
**[23:31] Totty**
You guys are finished this year!
**[23:34] All**
Totty!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
**[23:39] Choro**
This is Choromatsu.
**[23:40] Choro**
Next year, I'll finally get a job,
get a girlfriend, and even get married!
**[23:45] Choro**
No, really. I'm not lying.
**[23:48] Choro**
I'm telling the truth here.
***SIGN*** "The Choromatsu Incident" etc.
**[23:49] Choro**
I'm not lying! I can do this!
**[23:51] Choro**
I'm going to! I want to!