E12 - Year-End Special-san

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    "Year-End Special-san"
SIGN    Osomatsu-san
[01:59] Oso
    Heya! Osomatsu here!
[02:01] Oso
    Man, it's so cold every day.
[02:05] Oso
    What? You're kidding!
[02:06] Oso
    You were waiting around naked?
[02:08] Oso
    You're gonna catch a cold! You okay?
[02:10] Toto
    Hey, wait a sec.
[02:12] Oso
    Ah, Totoko-chan!
[02:14] Toto
    What is this? What happened
    with today's broadcast?
[02:17] Oso
    Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention this.
[02:19] Oso
    Sorry!
[02:21] Toto
    Jeez, you really can't do anything right.
[02:25] Oso
    You see, today's "Osomatsu-san" is a special.
[02:28] Toto
    A special?
[02:30] Oso
    Yup! It's a special episode for the end of the year.
[02:33] Oso
    We're gonna look back on the broadcast so far
[02:35] Oso
    and decide which one of us
    sextuplets is the biggest loser.
[02:38] Oso
    We call it...
SIGN    Losermatsu-san (Not Finalized)
[02:39] Oso
    "Losermatsu-san (Not Finalized)."
[02:42] Toto
    Wow! NEETs! NEETs!
[02:44] Toto
    Virgins! You bunch of good-for-nothings!
[02:47] Oso
    Uh, isn't that a bit harsh, Totoko-chan?
[02:49] Oso
    Though you're super cute,
    so I'm not mad at all.
[02:52] Oso
    Now, we've gathered all of our
    most terrible scenes, so let's watch.
[02:56] Oso
    We'll start with the eldest brother, me!
[02:58] Toto
    Start!
SIGN    Osomatsu-san
[03:05] Iyami
    Oh, is that you, Osomatsu?
SIGN    From Episode 2: "Let's Get a Job"
[03:07] Todo
    I'm Todomatsu.
[03:08] Oso
    I'm Osomatsu.
[03:09] Iya
    What's that smell?
    Have you been drinking already?
[03:12] Iya
    You sextuplets are such failures, as always.
[03:16] Oso
    Say, Iyami. I'd like to discuss something
    with you, as a trusted friend.
[03:20] Iya
    What's this about?
[03:23] Oso
    We six are facing the greatest
    dilemma of our lives right now.
[03:29] Iya
    Is there something me can do for you?
[03:31] Oso
    Could you lend us some cash?
[03:33] Iya
    What are you going to use it for?
[03:36] Iya
    Stop messing around!
[03:40] Iya
    Stop that!
[03:41] Iya
    What's wrong with you?!
    You stupid yakuza sextuplets!
[03:44] Oso
    Hmph. No more screen time for you.
[03:47] Todo
    Demon! Brute!
[03:48] Todo
    You man of good character!
    You wealthy fellow!
[03:50] Iya
    Why did you compliment me at the end?
[03:52] Iyami
    For crying out loud... Everyone
    spoiled you all when you were young,
[03:55] Iyami
    so you've grown up to be terrible monsters.
[03:59] Nya
    Thanks, nyaan!
SIGN    From Episode 2: "The Melancholy of Osomatsu"
[04:02] Choro
    Th-The time is finally at hand. 
    Calm down, Choromatsu.
[04:05] Choro
    You've only got twenty seconds.
SIGN    Let's Shake Hands, Nyan
SIGN    Hashimoto Nyan
[04:08] Choro
    You saved up all the money that
    you earned just for this moment!
[04:12] Choro
    Start with your thoughts on the new single.
SIGN    Nyaa Photobook
[04:14] Choro
    Nonchalantly mention that you've
    reserved her new photobook,
SIGN    Reserved
[04:16] Choro
    and throw your Twitter
    handle into the conversation.
[04:18] Choro
    Do not be pushy!
[04:20] Choro
    Act appropriately distant,
    unlike all those other fans.
[04:23] Choro
    Make her feel like you really get her!
[04:25] Choro
    Yes! Make her feel like you
    really understand her stress.
[04:29] Choro
    There's nothing to fear! My plan is perfect!
[04:32] Oso
    Whatcha doin'?
[04:33] Choro
    An accident has occurred!
[04:34] Oso
    Huh... Didn't know you were into this stuff.
[04:36] Choro
    Wh-Wh-What are you doing
    here, Osomatsu-niisan?!
[04:39] Oso
    Her face is pretty plain, isn't it?
[04:41] Oso
    Like one you'd see in class.
[04:42] Choro
    Hey!
[04:43] Oso
    A photo is 1,000 yen? So expensive!
SIGN    Photo Op 1,000 Yen
[04:45] Choro
    Don't say that!
[04:46] Oso
    I love you, Reika!
[04:48] Oso
    Who the hell is Reika?! You're too random!
[04:50] Dasu
    Next in line, please.
[04:52] Choro
    Oh, coming!
[04:54] Choro
    Sorry, some weird guy wouldn't stop talking to m—
[04:56] Oso
    Nice to meet you. The name's Matsuno Osomatsu.
[04:57] Choro
    Hey!
[04:59] Oso
    Thanks for taking such good
    care of my little brother.
[05:01] Choro
    Why are you shaking her hand?!
[05:02] Oso
    He's a really good guy, so would you
    have s** with him at least once?
[05:08] Choro
    Stupid, stupid, stupid! Don't say "s**"!
[05:11] Choro
    I'm so sorry, Nyaa-chan!
[05:12] Oso
    Wait. Should you be saying "s**"
    in front of the person you like?
[05:15] Choro
    You're the one saying "s°°"!
[05:17] Oso
    What? Did I say "s**"?
    Did I really say "s**"?
[05:21] Choro
    You just want to say "s**," don't you?!
[05:25] Oso
    S**.
[05:26] Choro
    Don't say it so casually!
[05:27] Oso
    Then how about ?
[05:28] Choro
    Shut up!
[05:29] Oso
    What about ?
[05:30] Choro
    Shut your mouth!
[05:31] Oso
    Then how about she **** your
     and then **** and ?
[05:35] Choro
    Just get out of the way!
[05:36] Choro
    Nya... Nyaa-chan...
[05:39] Deka
    Time's up.
[05:45] Oso
    Whoa! He totally hit me!
[05:48] Choro
    Get out of here.
[05:49] Choro
    From this day onward,
    you are a stranger to me.
SIGN    From Episode 6: "Iyami's Great Discovery"
[06:00] Oso
    Iyami.
[06:02] Hata
    Iyami, I went on another hundred-time
    shrine pilgrimage for you, jo.
[06:06] Hata
    So something good should happen, jo.
[06:09] Iyami
    Shut up!
[06:10] Oso
    Hey, that wasn't necessary!
[06:15] Iyami
    That hurt! How dare you do that to me
    when me just came back from France...
[06:20] Iyami
    M-My teeth grew back! Me has teeth!
[06:22] Oso
    Oh, I get it!
[06:24] Oso
    Your teeth grow out when
    you're hit on the head.
[06:27] Oso
    Basically it's like a carpenter's plane.
[06:29] Iyami
    Sheeeh! I had no idea!
[06:34] Oso
    Well, let's go.
[06:36] Iyami
    Huh?
[06:37] Oso
    Come on.
[06:45] Toto
    Hey, Osomatsu-kun. What were you
    saying during all those beeps?
[06:47] Oso
    Now we can sell all we want, Mr. Flag.
[06:50] Oso
    Huh? Uh, um... that was...
[06:50] Hata
    I'll make even more money, jo!
[06:52] Toto
    Could it have been ?
[06:55] Oso
    All right, next!
SIGN    Karamatsu
[06:57] Sign
    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    From Episode 2: "Let's Get a Job"
[07:11] Sachi
    Hey, Aida, doesn't that guy look cool?
[07:13] Aida
    He totally looks like Ozaki, Sacchi!
[07:16] Sachi
    Go talk to him!
[07:17] Aida
    I can't! He's too hot. I'm gonna die!
[07:20] Sachi
    Then maybe I'll go instead.
[07:24] Aida
    What the hell is with him? So creepy.
[07:26] Sachi
    Die.
[07:27] Choro
    Seriously? He actually passed!
SIGN    From Episode 4: "Let's Become Independent"
[07:30] Choro
    How does the mind of a mother work?
[07:33] Kara
    Me too, Mom.
[07:35] Kara
    I want to live my life without working
    and with my meals prepared for me.
[07:40] Mom
    Wrong.
[07:42] Choro
    Yeah, that's totally wrong, Karamatsu.
    That just makes you trash.
SIGN    From Episode 10
[07:47] Kara
    What does "painful" mean?
[07:48] Oso
    Huh?
[07:49] Kara
    People keep pointing at me and saying "painful."
[07:52] Kara
    But I haven't hit them, or kicked them.
[07:55] Kara
    Why are they in pain?
[07:57] Oso
    Oh, yeah... Don't worry about that.
[08:00] Kara
    Huh?
[08:00] Oso
    I mean, you're Karamatsu because you're
    painful. If you lost that, you'd be boring.
[08:05] Kara
    But I don't live for the sake of hurting people.
[08:09] Kara
    Why? Why is it that I love everyone
    so much, yet I hurt them?
[08:15] Kara
    So... this must be the hedgehog's dilemma.
[08:19] Oso
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
[08:20] Kara
    Really? Just from that?!
[08:22] Oso
    That hurt! Don't do surprise attacks like that!
[08:23] Kara
    Wh-What should I do?
[08:26] Oso
    Well, first, why don't you stop
    wearing that leather jacket?
[08:28] Kara
    My leather jacket?
[08:29] Oso
    Yeah. That's the sheer essence of painfulness.
[08:33] Kara
    All right...
[08:35] Kara
    Like this?
[08:36] Oso
    What's with that tanktop?!
    Your face is on it!
[08:38] Oso
    That's so painful!
[08:39] Kara
    Why are you in pain?!
[08:40] Oso
    Take off the sunglasses, too.
[08:43] Oso
    Color contacts?! Save me, Akatsuka-sensei!
[08:46] Oso
    It hurts so bad!
[08:48] Oso
    I broke my rib...
[08:51] Kara
    No matter what I do, I hurt people.
    I'm a sinful man. A guilt guy!
[08:53] Oso
    Ow, ow, ow... Karamatsu's
    painfulness is pretty reliable.
[08:55] Kara
    I'm trapped on all sides.
    Eight-side shut-out!
[08:58] Kara
    I'm doomed to live a life of only loneliness.
[08:58] Toto
    He totally makes you want to punch him.
[09:01] Oso
    Totoko-chan?!
SIGN    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    Choromatsu
[09:07] Guy
    Matsuno Choromatsu-san?
SIGN    From Episode 2: "Let's Get a Job"
[09:09] Choro
    Yes!
[09:10] Choro
    This is my agenda for today.
SIGN    Places I Want to Work
[09:12] Choro
    Honestly, social security is a must,
    with a milestone of 200,000 fixed
[09:16] Choro
    and committed per month.
[09:17] Choro
    What do you think?
[09:18] Guy
    You're annoying.
SIGN    From Episode 3: "Tidbits Collection"
[09:21] Todo
    It's no use. I can't think of anything good.
[09:25] Todo
    If I keep it, my brothers will...
[09:30] Cop
    Evening!
[09:32] Cop
    What might you be doing out
    here at this hour, sir?
[09:36] Todo
    Oh, uh, I'm just out for a walk.
[09:38] Cop
    A walk? But it's midnight.
[09:42] Todo
    It's already that late?
[09:45] Todo
    I'll go home now.
    Thank you for your hard work.
[09:48] Cop
    Hold it.
[09:49] Todo
    Wha—
[09:49] Cop
    You're a bit suspicious.
[09:51] Todo
    Huh?
[09:52] Cop
    Why don't you show us what's inside that bag?
[09:55] Todo
    Why would I have to do that?
[09:56] Cop
    It's not as if we're suspecting
    you of anything...
[10:00] Cop
    But there seems to be a guy around here...
[10:03] Cop
    A scumbag who won big at pachinko,
    but wants to keep it from his older brothers.
[10:10] Todo
    Choromatsu-niisan and Ichimatsu-niisan?!
[10:12] Todo
    They already hunted me down?!
SIGN    Extreme Video! Pachinko Police at Midnight!!
[10:15] Guy
    Extreme Video! Pachinko Police at Midnight!!
SIGN    The Super-Skilled Older Brothers Ask For Their Share  "Why Are You Trying So Hard To Hide It?!"
[10:19] Todo
    Yay!
[10:19] Choro
    Crap... They keep passing one by one.
SIGN    From Episode 4: "Let's Become Independent"
[10:22] Choro
    I need to hurry up and think 
    of some kind of appeal.
[10:25] Mom
    I think that's about it.
[10:27] Choro
    What?! It's over?!
[10:28] Mom
    I've taken in three.
[10:31] Mom
    The rest of you should talk to your father.
[10:33] Choro
    What?! There's no way I can live with these two!
[10:37] Choro
    W-Wait a sec, Mom!
[10:40] Choro
    Think about this rationally.
[10:42] Chro
    Who would you be happiest living with?
[10:45] Oso
    Hey! The interview's over!
[10:47] Todo
    You're being pathetic!
[10:49] Choro
    I'm the safest bet out of the six of us.
[10:52] Choro
    I have the best chance of finding a job,
    and I'll probably get married.
[10:55] Oso
    Getting married has nothing
    to do with anything.
[10:57] Todo
    Don't change the subject!
[10:59] Choro
    But it does! Because if I get married...
[11:02] Choro
    I'll give you a grandchild, Mom.
[11:06] Oso
    Hey, you're playing dirty! He's cheating!
[11:08] Todo
    Using a grandchild isn't fair, you filthy bastard!
SIGN    Choromatsu
[11:10] Oso
    Wait... Mom?!
[11:11] Oso
    Don't let him trick you!
[11:13] Oso
    We can give you grandchildren, too!
[11:15] Todo
    Yeah!
[11:17] Mom
    Who's the horniest?
[11:19] Oso
    What are you asking us, Mom?!
[11:20] Todo
    She's completely lost her senses.
[11:20] Mom
    A grandchild... Grandchild... Grandchild...
[11:22] Todo
    Bastard! How dare you mess with Mom's mind?!
[11:27] Choro
    Looks like grandchildren are
    alluring to parents after all!
[11:30] Oso
    Damn it! We were so close!
[11:32] Oso
    That was completely under the radar.
[11:34] Todo
    Who would've thought of a grandkid?
[11:36] Choro
    You won't take the position of dependent!
SIGN    From Episode 7: "Four"
[11:38] Oso
    Why are there four?!
[11:40] Choro
    How do we split this?
[11:42] Choro
    This number has always brought 
    misfortune to us sextuplets.
SIGN    The Sharing Situation Between Sextuplets 
    That Even An Only Child Can Understand
[11:45] Choro
    With one or two, there aren't enough anyway, 
    so we could just do rock-paper-scissors.
[11:49] Choro
    If there are five, though,
[11:50] Choro
    the odds of losing are lower, 
    so it's rock-paper-scissors again.
[11:54] Choro
    If there are three, it's peaceful. 
    We just split them in half and make them six.
[11:57] Choro
    But the reality we are facing today is...
[12:01] Six
    Four!
[12:02] Oso
    The number that's our mortal
    enemy... The devil's number!
[12:03] Kara
    I sense a war coming...
[12:04] Blah
    We're finished.
[12:05] Jyu
    What are we going to do?
[12:06] Todo
    Who even brought us this many? Was it Mom?
[12:08] Choro
    Hey, what good would it do to
    find out why there are four?
[12:10] Oso
    Man... This guy trying to act like
    he's all proper is so annoying.
[12:11] Choro
    Even if we find that out,
    we're still left with four,
[12:13] Choro
    you fool!
[12:15] Toto
    He might show his true self in the second cour.
[12:17] Todo
    Sorry...
[12:18] Choro
    No, I'm sorry...
[12:18] Oso
    And so, it's time for a break!
[12:20] Sign
    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    Ichimatsu
SIGN    Dependents
SIGN    Todomatsu
SIGN    Osomatsu
SIGN    Reserves
SIGN    Jyushimatsu
SIGN    Karamatsu
SIGN    From Episode 4: "Let's Become Independent"
[12:28] Choro
    He's making his move! The joker that none 
    of us can read is finally making his move!
[12:33] Ichi
    I don't actually feel the
    need to live with you,
[12:36] Ichi
    but who knows what I'll do without
    anyone keeping an eye on me?
[12:41] Ichi
    You sure you're okay setting me free?
[12:44] Ichi
    What if one of your sons turns into a criminal?
[12:49] Mom
    Y-You pass. Let's live together.
SIGN    From Episode 7: "Todomatsu and the Five Demons"
[12:57] Todo
    What the hell are you trying to do?!
[13:06] ---
    Hey!
[13:07] ---
    Hey!
[13:09] ---
    Hey!
SIGN    From Episode 11: "Christmas Osomatsu-san"
[13:23] Guy
    Um...
[13:23] Ichi
    You on a date?
[13:24] Guy
    Pardon?
[13:25] Ichi
    Are you on a date?
[13:28] Guy
    Yes...
[13:28] Ichi
    I see.
[13:40] Guy
    Um—
[13:41] Ichi
    You two look good together.
[13:43] Guy
    Huh? Oh.
[13:45] Both
    Thank you.
[13:58] Ichi
    You dumbass, I'll kill you.
[14:05] Ichi
    And? What are your plans after this?
[14:07] Guy
    Huh? Um... We haven't really decided.
[14:10] Ichi
    Going home, then?
[14:13] Guy
    What should we do?
[14:15] Girl
    I'm not sure.
[14:17] Guy
    Is it almost time for the last train?
[14:19] Girl
    Yeah.
[14:20] Guy
    Do you have to get up early tomorrow?
[14:22] Girl
    No, I have the day off.
[14:24] Guy
    Oh, I see...
[14:31] Oso
    Oh, crap!
[14:32] Guy
    Wanna spend the ni—
[14:32] Oso
    Being reminded that I've got a
    dangerous guy like this as a brother
[14:33] Girl
    What in the world?!
[14:35] Guy
    Spontaneous human combustion!
[14:36] Oso
    really freaks me out.
[14:37] Toto
    I can sort of relate to him, though.
[14:39] Oso
    Seriously?!
SIGN    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    Jyushimatsu
SIGN    From Episode 2: "The Melancholy of Osomatsu"
SIGN    From Episode 5: "ESP Kitty"
[14:54] Jyu
    Ichimatsu-niisan.
[14:59] Ichi
    M-Maybe I do wanna know...
[15:02] Ichi
    What he's really feeling.
[15:05] Deka
    All right, then. Stick out your bum.
[15:07] Ichi
    Huh? Why my ass?
[15:09] Deka
    Well, because this medicine...
[15:11] Deka
    is administered via injection.
[15:17] Ichi
    Let go of me! I'm going
    to kill you, Jyushimatsu!
[15:20] Jyu
    I've never heard you yell
    so loud, Ichimatsu-niisan.
[15:23] Ichi
    You're scaring me! How can
    you sound so unconcerned?!
[15:26] Deka
    All right, here we go.
[15:28] Ichi
    I can't do this!
[15:29] Deka
    Come on, now. You're an adult.
[15:31] Ichi
    That's got nothing to do with this!
    Shots are hell, no matter how old you are!
[15:32] Deka
    This will hurt, so relax your muscles.
[15:35] Ichi
    No!
[15:44] Dasu
    Oh, my.
SIGN    From Episode 9: "Jyushimatsu Falls in Love"
[15:52] Oso
    Oh... Good morning, Jyushimatsu.
[15:55] Jyu
    Morning on the 4, 6, 3...
[15:58] Jyu
    Double play!
[15:59] Oso
    You're so hyper first thing in the morning.
[16:09] Jyu
    Thanks for the meal, tag up!
[16:14] Choro
    He's so noisy first thing in the morning...
[16:15] Jyu
    1,285...
[16:17] Jyu
    1,286, 1,287!
[16:21] Jyu
    All right! I can still go!
[16:24] Ichi
    I'm gonna die...
SIGN    Matsu
[16:25] Jyu
    Here I go! Muscle, muscle!
[16:27] Jyu
    Hustle, hustle!
[16:29] Jyu
    Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
[16:32] Jyu
    I'm home, muscle!
[16:34] Jyu
    Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
[16:37] Jyu
    Muscle, mus—
[16:46] Oso
    What the hell, Jyushimatsu?
    He hasn't even done anything that bad.
[16:47] Jyu
    Thank you, king-sized game-winning homer!
SIGN    Men's
[16:50] Oso
    He's totally not being fair.
[16:51] Toto
    I look forward to seeing him in the second cour.
[16:56] Oso
    This is Jyushimatsu.
[16:58] Sign
    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    Todomatsu
SIGN    From Episode 2: "The Melancholy of Osomatsu"
[17:05] ---
    Huh?
[17:06] Oso
    Hey, Todomatsu!
[17:08] Oso
    What, are you on a date?
[17:10] Oso
    Perfect timing. Let me join in!
[17:12] Oso
    I've been so bored today. Choromatsu
    and Karamatsu are so mean.
[17:15] Oso
    They won't acknowledge me at all.
[17:17] Todo
    I'm sorry. Who are you?
[17:19] Girl
    Do you know him?
[17:20] Todo
    Who?
[17:21] Girl
    The guy just now.
[17:22] Todo
    Huh? Did I just talk to someone?
[17:24] Girl
    But he did look like you.
[17:25] Todo
    No idea.
[17:26] Oso
    Cold... So cold.
SIGN    From Episode 4: "Let's Become Independent"
SIGN    Matsuno Family Dependents Selection Interview Hall
[17:30] Mom
    We will now begin the Matsuno Family
    Dependents Selection Interviews.
[17:35] Mom
    Those who pass this interview will
    become one of my dependents.
SIGN    HR
[17:40] Mom
    All of you make sure to show off
    what fine sons you are.
SIGN    Please Be Quiet
[17:43] Mom
    It's a pleasure having you all.
[17:45] All
    Thanks for having us.
[17:47] Choro
    What's with this messed-up atmosphere?
[17:48] Choro
    Family Dependents Selection Interview?
[17:51] Mom
    So who'd like to show their appeal first?
[17:52] Boys
    Me! Me! Me!
[17:54] Choro
    Holy crap! It's a shameless 
    battle between brothers!
[17:54] Boys
    Me! Me! Me!
[17:58] Todo
    Excuse me!
[18:00] Todo
    Before we start the interview,
    can I say just one thing?
[18:03] Mom
    Um... The youngest brother, Todomatsu-san?
[18:07] Choro
    Uh, you know who he is!
    What the hell are those papers?
[18:10] Todo
    I'd like to withdraw from this interview.
[18:12] All
    What?!
[18:13] Mom
    What do you mean?
[18:15] Todo
    I can't help but think there's
    something wrong with this.
[18:18] Todo
    For us brothers go as far as
    fighting to have you support us...
[18:22] Todo
    It's really sad that you're divorcing,
[18:25] Todo
    but it's a chance for us
    to become independent.
[18:28] Todo
    Thanks for everything you've done, Mom.
[18:30] Todo
    I'll try living on my own. Bye.
[18:33] Mom
    Wait.
[18:36] Mom
    You pass.
[18:37] Todo
    Yay! Woohoo!
[18:39] Todo
    I made it first!
SIGN    Dependents
SIGN    Reserves
SIGN    Todomatsu
[18:42] All
    He... He got us!
SIGN    From Episode 5: "ESP Kitty"
[18:46] Todo
    Choromatsu is funny.
[18:47] Cat
    Choromatsu is super boring.
[18:49] Choro
    Hey...
[18:50] Oso
    Choromatsu is smart.
[18:51] Cat
    Choromatsu is super dumb.
[18:53] Todo
    Choromatsu is popular.
[18:54] Cat
    Choromatsu is a stupid virgin.
[18:56] Todo
    That's awesome! Perfect!
[19:00] Choro
    Bullying? Is this bullying?
[19:02] Oso
    You're incredible!
[19:04] Oso
    You're an ESP kitty!
[19:07] Todo
    But I'm worried...
[19:09] Todo
    Someone could use him for evil.
[19:11] Todo
    Let's keep him here.
[19:12] Cat
    This cat's gonna be worth some money.
[19:15] Todo
    Th-There'd be trouble if the
    press found out about him.
[19:18] Cat
    There's always the circus.
[19:20] Todo
    We have to take good care of
    Ichimatsu-niisan's good friend.
[19:22] Cat
    Get rich quick!
[19:24] Choro
    You dried-up monster... Everything
    you thought just came out.
[19:29] Oso
    So I guess no one can lie in front of him.
SIGN    Sutabaa Coffee
[19:33] Choro
    Wait, you're working here, Todomatsu?
SIGN    From Episode 7: "Todomatsu and the Five Demons"
[19:35] Todo
    It doesn't matter, just go home! Please go home!
[19:38] Choro
    Hey, stop! What's gotten into you?!
[19:39] Todo
    Please!
[19:41] Oso
    What? We're not allowed to go in?
[19:44] Todo
    No.
[19:44] Oso
    Why?
[19:48] Todo
    Fine. I'll tell you the truth.
[19:53] Todo
    I'm embarrassed by you guys.
[19:57] Todo
    Look around you. This is Sutabaa.
[19:59] Todo
    You're as different as chalk and
    cheese to these celestial beings!
[20:03] Todo
    No... More like as different as angels and crap.
[20:05] Todo
    I finally obtained some status by working here.
[20:08] Todo
    If they find out I have crap for
    brothers, it will all be for nothing.
[20:12] Todo
    Sorry...
[20:14] Todo
    I really didn't want to say that.
[20:15] Choro
    Then don't! We almost died!
[20:19] Both
    What?!
[20:21] Aida
    You're sextuplets?!
[20:23] Sachi
    That's amazing! I've never seen sextuplets!
[20:25] Oso
    I-Is it that uncommon?
    Want to take a picture with us?
[20:29] Both
    No thanks!
[20:33] Choro
    W-Wow, so these are Sutabaa baristas.
[20:37] Choro
    Their bodies are glowing with
    the light called confidence.
[20:42] Choro
    And then there's him...
[20:43] Choro
    Look at those eyes!
[20:45] Aida
    Wow, I'm so surprised!
[20:47] Sachi
    Jeez, why didn't you tell us?
[20:50] Todo
    Sorry. I was sure I'd already told you guys.
[20:54] Oso
    So, hey, hey, hey...
[20:54] Choro
    There are two of him... There are
    two personalities inside him!*
[20:55] Sachi
    Oh, Osomatsu-san, was it?
[21:02] Choro
    Wait. Why'd we get this table?
[21:06] Choro
    There are plenty of others open.
[21:10] Choro
    That dried-up monster...
    He's totally trying to cut us off.
[21:14] Oso
    When did he start working so hard?
[21:17] Oso
    To think that there's such a gap between us...
[21:19] Jyu
    So sweet! Have a bite, Nii-san.
[21:22] Ichi
    Sweet! I ain't never had a
    Western confectionery like this.
[21:24] Jyu
    It ain't "Western confectionery."
    They're called sweets nowadays!
[21:27] Ichi
    S-S-Sweets!
[21:29] Choro
    Uh, what are you guys doing?
[21:29] Jyu
    Yeah, yeah!
[21:30] Ichi
    For real?
[21:31] Aida
    Hey, what are you doing over here?
[21:34] Todo
    What happened?! Was there a
    cockroach in the bathroom?!
[21:45] Jyu
    Th-The city's a scary place!
[21:47] Ichi
    We're gon' die.
[21:48] Choro
    That's enough of that!
[21:51] Sachi
    Oh, hey. About the mixer we
    were talking about earlier...
[21:55] Five
    M-Mixer?!
[21:55] Oso
    Man... Totty's shadiness is intense.
[21:57] Sachi
    Totty, do you think you
    could invite some friends?
[21:59] Toto
    More importantly...
[21:59] Five
    Totty?!
[22:01] Oso
    Huh?
[22:01] Sachi
    Ask around at your university.
[22:01] Toto
    Why were you all fawning
    over those Sutabaa baristas?
[22:02] Five
    University?!
[22:04] Toto
    What's the idea?
    You think they're cuter than me?
[22:05] Todo
    Um, I'll talk to you guys about that later.
[22:07] Oso
    Oh, um... That was, uh...
[22:07] Aida
    Totty, you go to Keio, right?
[22:10] Sachi
    Get some good people to come.
    We'll be looking forward to it.
[22:11] Toto
    I hate you. Hmph!
[22:11] Todo
    Yeah, okay...
[22:14] Oso
    A-After this, we'll announce the results...
SIGN    Losermatsu-san (Not Finalized)
    Results
[22:22] Oso
    This is Osomatsu.
[22:23] Toto
    And Totoko!
[22:25] Oso
    Now, we'll be announcing which of us sextuplets
    is the biggest loser, the Losermatsu-san!
[22:33] Toto
    Yay!
[22:35] Oso
    Oh, looks like the results
    are in. Who could it be?
[22:40] Toto
    Who is it? Who is it?
[22:42] Oso
    The biggest Losermatsu out of the sextuplets is...
SIGN    All of You Suck
[22:46] Oso
    What?! All of us?!
[22:50] Oso
    What the hell? Why am I in there, too?!
[22:53] Toto
    Why am I in there? I'm not a sextuplet!
[22:57] Oso
    Seriously, I'm way better
    than Choromatsu or Todomatsu.
[23:02] Toto
    More importantly, I'm the
    insanely popular heroine.
[23:06] Oso
    The hell is this?
[23:07] Toto
    The hell is this?
[23:11] Oso
    We finished?
[23:13] Toto
    Yeah, let's finish.
[23:14] Oso
    Yeah, well, this was Losermatsu-san.
    Thanks for watching.
[23:18] Oso
    We'll continue to be super serious about
    making something super wonderful,
[23:23] Oso
    so yeah, keep watching.
[23:24] Toto
    Yeah.
[23:26] Oso
    Well, goodnight.
[23:28] Toto
    Night.
[23:30] Oso
    I hope you have freaky dreams, dumbasses.
[23:32] Toto
    Dumbass! Dumbass!