# E12 - The Eitarou Family
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYMGW008Y/the-eitarou-family)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** "Totoko and Nyaa 3"
**[00:11] Totoko**
What should I do?
**[00:12] Totoko**
This isn't good. Not good at all.
**[00:17] Totoko**
What should I do?
**[00:19] Totoko**
This isn't good. I might be in real trouble.
**[00:25] Totoko**
What should I do?
**[00:27] Totoko**
I'm troubled. Will anyone hear me out?
**[00:32] Totoko**
If you don't hear me out,
I might end up in worse trouble.
**[00:36] Totoko**
The absolute worst might happen!
**[00:39] Totoko**
Seriously, what should I do?
**[00:42] Nyaa**
Shut up!
**[00:43] Nyaa**
What's with you? You're ruining my liquor.
**[00:46] Nyaa**
Is something bothering you?
**[00:48] Totoko**
Huh?
**[00:49] Totoko**
No, it's nothing. I'll be fine.
**[00:53] Nyaa**
*You're so annoying!*
**[00:55] Nyaa**
* You're hinting at it so much,*
* and when I finally ask,*
**[00:57] Nyaa**
*you act like nothing's wrong! I hate you!*
**[01:02] Totoko**
You see, I...
**[01:03] Nyaa**
*Now she's telling me anyway!*
**[01:05] Toto**
I'm thinking about quitting being an idol.
**[01:08] Nyaa**
Huh?
**[01:10] Nyaa**
Wh-What's wrong? Did something happen?
**[01:14] Nyaa**
Tell me, even though I might
not be able to say much about it.
**[01:18] Nyaa**
I mean, we're always
here drinking together.
**[01:24] Toto**
Sorry. Is it okay to tell you?
**[01:26] Nyaa**
Yeah.
**[01:27] Toto**
You see...
**[01:29] Toto**
I was just thinking that idols...
**[01:30] Chibi**
*What?!*
**[01:31] Chibi**
*They're hearing out each other's problems?*
**[01:33] Chibi**
*What the heck is this?!*
***SIGN*** To Be Continued
**[03:07] Ei**
One, two, three, four, five,
***SIGN*** "The Eitarou Family"
**[03:13] Ei**
six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
**[03:19] Ei**
Are you ready?
**[03:22] Jyu**
I'm ready!
**[03:32] Ei**
Huh?
**[03:34] Ei**
Jyushimatsu, where are you?
**[03:38] Ei**
Okay, I give up. Come out, Jyushimatsu!
**[03:47] Jyu**
Boba!
**[03:51] Ei**
A-Amazing! You're amazing, Jyushimatsu!
**[03:55] Ei**
So cool!
**[03:58] Ei**
What the heck is that?!
**[04:02] Ei**
So cool!
**[04:05] Ei**
What?!
**[04:08] Jyu**
Boeh!
**[04:09] Ei**
Amazing!
**[04:11] Jyu**
Boeba!
**[04:12] Ei**
You're too amazing!
**[04:17] Ei**
So cool!
**[04:20] Ei**
You really are the best, Jyushimatsu.
**[04:23] Ei**
I wanna be just like you, Jyushimatsu.
**[04:26] Jyu**
Eitarou, you should call me "Master."
**[04:30] Ei**
You're amazing, Jyushimatsu.
**[04:32] Jyu**
You should call me "Master."
**[04:34] Ei**
I wanna be just like you, Jyushimatsu.
***SIGN*** Muscle Power
**[04:38] Ei**
Thanks, Master!
**[04:41] Both**
Jyushimatsu is super popular.
**[04:45] Both**
The crows gather and the dogs bark.
**[04:49] Both**
Jyushimatsu is Jyushimatsu.
**[04:53] Both**
I said Jyushimatsu is Jyushimatsu.
**[04:56] Both**
Cheers!
**[05:03] Ei**
Sigh...
**[05:04] Ei**
I wonder if I can ever
be like you, Jyushimatsu.
**[05:08] Jyu**
I dunno. It's not really something
you can become just by wanting to.
**[05:12] Ei**
I see...
**[05:15] Jyu**
But I'm sure you can.
**[05:18] Ei**
I can, huh?
**[05:19] Ei**
All right! I'm gonna do my best!
**[05:23] Todo**
Huh?
**[05:24] Todo**
What are they doing? Who is that kid?
**[05:27] Ichi**
Apparently he's Jyushimatsu follower.
**[05:29] Todo**
Follower?!
**[05:30] Ichi**
Yeah.
**[05:31] Ichi**
An unfortunate grade-schooler
who was bewitched by Jyushimatsu's
**[05:35] Ichi**
excitement and physical form.
**[05:36] Todo**
Say what?
**[05:37] Ichi**
You've never seen him?
**[05:39] Ichi**
He's been waiting outside our house lately.
**[05:42] Todo**
Waiting outside our house?
For Jyushimatsu-niisan?
**[05:45] Ichi**
This isn't good.
**[05:46] Todo**
Of course it's not. He totally looks
up to him for all the wrong reasons.
**[05:50] Ei**
Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle!
**[05:51] Ichi**
Youthful passion, huh...
**[05:53] Todo**
No surprise he'd get into that.
**[05:53] Both**
Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle!
**[05:55] Ichi**
It's like a hard drug...
**[05:56] Both**
Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle!
**[06:01] Ei**
Say, Jyushimatsu.
***SIGN*** Muscle Power
**[06:03] Ei**
Say, Master.
**[06:04] Jyu**
Yeah?
**[06:05] Ei**
This is just something I heard,
**[06:07] Ei**
but are you something
called a "NEET, "Jyushimatsu?
**[06:09] Jyu**
Huh?! A NEET?
**[06:11] Ei**
What's a NEET?
**[06:13] Jyu**
Huh?
**[06:13] Jyu**
Uh...
**[06:16] Jyu**
It's a position in baseball.
**[06:18] Both**
A position in baseball?!
**[06:19] Ei**
A position in baseball?
**[06:21] Jyu**
It's a position between second and
shortstop, called NEET for short.
**[06:24] Jyu**
Bring it!
**[06:25] Ei**
Huh? Then... does that mean you're a
professional baseball player, Jyushimatsu?!
**[06:30] Jyu**
Yeah. I'm in an independent league, though.
**[06:33] Ei**
Wow... You really are amazing!
**[06:36] Ichi**
He is amazing. He's actually lying to a kid.
**[06:41] Ei**
Also, what's a cherry boy?
**[06:43] Jyu**
I love cherries.
**[06:45] Ei**
Really?
**[06:47] Both**
Really?
**[06:48] Jyu**
All right, Eitarou. Today,
I'll teach you a secret technique.
**[06:52] Ei**
A secret technique? Finally?
**[06:54] Ei**
I've been waiting my whole life for this!
**[06:56] Jyu**
And it's called...
**[06:58] Jyu**
Final...
**[07:00] Jyu**
Fart Rush.
**[07:01] Ei**
Final Fart Rush!
**[07:03] Ei**
What's that? Hurry up and
show me, Jyushimatsu!
**[07:07] Ei**
Hurry, hurry!
**[07:08] Ichi**
Final Fart Rush?!
**[07:10] Todo**
Don't sound so interested.
**[07:12] Jyu**
Okay, here we go.
**[07:18] Jyu**
Final... Fart Rush!
**[07:24] Ei**
That's an amazing rush!
**[07:26] Ei**
How do you do that?
How does your body even work?!
**[07:35] Ei**
You really are the best, Jyushimatsu.
**[07:38] Ei**
I wanna be just like you, Jyushimatsu.
**[07:43] Ichi**
*To be frank, at the time,*
**[07:46] Ichi**
* I thought he was going to get*
* punished in some way for this.*
**[07:49] Todo**
*Yeah.*
**[07:51] Ichi**
* But it was interesting,*
* so I decided not to say anything.*
**[07:54] Todo**
*Yeah. We totally let it go.*
***SIGN*** One Week Later
**[07:58] Ichi**
*And then, one day...*
**[08:00] Ei**
Hup! Take that!
**[08:04] Ei**
Yay!
**[08:05] Ei**
Reversing two-seam fast pitch!
**[08:06] Ei**
Thanks for the steal!
**[08:08] Ei**
Sorry for the trouble machines!
**[08:10] Ei**
Boeh! Boeba!
**[08:13] Ei**
Boeh! Boeba!
**[08:16] Mom**
Matsuno-san, what's going on here?
**[08:20] Jyu**
Well, uh...
**[08:23] Mom**
He's clearly imitating you, isn't he?
**[08:26] Jyu**
Uh, is he?
**[08:29] Jyu**
I don't know if we can say that for sure.
**[08:31] Ei**
Look, look, Master!
**[08:32] Mom**
"Master"?
**[08:34] Mom**
Did you teach my son something?
**[08:36] Jyu**
No, no...
**[08:37] Mom**
Did you brainwash him?
**[08:38] Jyu**
No, no, no!
**[08:39] Ei**
It's no use!
**[08:41] Ei**
I just can't do it the way
you taught me, Master.
**[08:45] Mom**
How often are you seeing my son?
**[08:49] Jyu**
Huh? Uh... Maybe once a month?
**[08:53] Ei**
We see each other every day!
**[08:54] Jyu**
Eitarou-kun?!
**[08:56] Mom**
Every day...
**[08:57] Mom**
Pardon me for asking,
but what is your occupation?
**[09:00] Ei**
He's a NEET!
**[09:01] Jyu**
Eitarou-kun!
**[09:02] Ei**
He's a professional baseball player
in an independent league,
**[09:04] Ei**
who plays the position
between second and short!
**[09:07] Jyu**
Eitarou-kun!
**[09:08] Ei**
He's also a cherry boy!
**[09:10] Jyu**
Eitarou-kun!
**[09:26] Mom**
What is he...
**[09:27] Jyu**
Oh, that's uh, um...
**[09:29] Mom**
Eitarou.
**[09:30] Jyu**
Ma'am.
**[09:31] Mom**
Eitarou.
**[09:32] Jyushi**
Ma'am! Let's not ask!
**[09:34] Mom**
Eitarou, what are you doing?
**[09:36] Ei**
It's the Final Fart Rush!
**[09:38] Mom**
Huh?
**[09:38] Jyushi**
Eitarou-kun!
**[09:40] Mom**
Final Fart Rush?
**[09:42] Ei**
Yup! Master taught it to me!
**[09:44] Jyu**
Eitarou-kun!
**[09:46] Mom**
What might that be?
**[09:48] Jyu**
Pardon?
**[09:49] Mom**
What exactly is Final Fart Rush?
**[09:55] Ei**
It's a joke.
**[09:57] Mom**
A joke?
**[09:57] Ei**
Yeah! And it's super funny!
**[10:01] Mom**
Matsuno-san, pardon me for asking,
**[10:04] Mom**
but would you mind doing it right now?
**[10:06] Jyu**
Right now? Right here?!
**[10:08] Mom**
I would love to see it.
**[10:10] Jyu**
W-Well, I'm not sure...
**[10:12] Ei**
Come on, do it!
**[10:14] Ei**
But I'm warning you, Mom...
You'll definitely laugh!
**[10:17] Ei**
You'll be in stitches!
You're lucky to be able to see it.
**[10:20] Jyu**
Eitarou!
**[10:23] Mom**
If you would.
**[10:26] Jyu**
U-Um... Do you promise not to get mad?
**[10:31] Mom**
Of course.
**[10:33] Mom**
I'm the one asking you to do it.
**[10:37] Jyu**
Okay...
**[10:38] Ei**
Yes! The Final Fart!
**[10:40] Ei**
We get to see the Final Fart!
**[10:41] Ei**
Huh?
**[10:51] Jyu**
Final...
**[10:54] Jyu**
Fart Ru—
**[10:58] Mom**
I-I'm so sorry. I couldn't hold back.
**[11:03] Jyu**
No, no...
**[11:04] Jyu**
Please don't worry about it.
**[11:06] Mom**
What should I do?
**[11:08] Jyu**
I'm the one at fault here.
**[11:09] Mom**
I'm so sorry.
**[11:12] Ei**
You look funny!
**[11:16] Mom**
Matsuno-san... No, Master...
**[11:19] Jyu**
Huh?
**[11:20] Mom**
I'm sorry for being critical.
**[11:23] Jyu**
Huh?
**[11:24] Mom**
I asked you over to the house
because I had a favor to ask you.
**[11:31] Todo**
They move around a lot?
**[11:32] Jyu**
Yeah.
**[11:34] Jyu**
Apparently Eitarou is constantly
moving because of his dad's job.
**[11:40] Jyu**
Because of that, he hasn't really
been able to make any friends.
**[11:43] Jyu**
His mom said he's always been
a really lonely and sad little kid.
**[11:47] Todo**
Huh... But since he met you...
**[11:51] Ichi**
...he became a happy, energetic kid.
**[11:55] Jyu**
His mom ended up asking me
to keep hanging out with him.
**[12:03] Ichi**
That's a bit iffy, isn't it?
**[12:05] Todo**
Yeah. It'd be better for him if he could
be friends with the kids at school.
**[12:10] Jyu**
Yeah...
**[12:12] Todo**
What are you going to do?
**[12:13] Jyu**
Hmm...
**[12:16] Jyu**
I have no choice.
**[12:18] Jyu**
I'll have to make up more jokes.
**[12:21] Both**
Huh?
**[12:23] Both**
Hop, step, and then...
**[12:25] Ichi**
Uh, Jyushimatsu?
**[12:25] Both**
Crash with all your might!
**[12:27] Todo**
Eitarou-kun? Why would you need
those jokes to make friends?
**[12:33] Todo**
Wait, what's wrong with his family?
There's something wrong here!
**[12:38] Eitarou**
Sheeeh!
**[12:40] Ichi**
Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's not even his!
**[12:42] Todo**
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's someone else's!
***SIGN*** Comedy
***SIGN*** Heart Technique Physique
***SIGN*** Get the laughs
***SIGN*** Jyushimatsu Style License Eitarou-dono
**[12:54] Both**
What?
**[13:01] Mom**
I wonder if Eitarou will be okay...
**[13:04] Mom**
Is that joke really funny?
**[13:06] Jyu**
Don't worry. He'll be able to...
**[13:09] Jyu**
Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
**[13:12] Jyu**
Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
**[13:12] Mom**
Such confidence!
**[13:15] Jyu**
Muscle, muscle!
**[13:15] Ei**
Here I go!
**[13:29] Ei**
I did it!
**[13:30] Ei**
Jyushimatsu, look! When I did that joke,
I made a ton of friends!
**[13:36] Ei**
It's all thanks to you, Jyushimatsu!
**[13:37] Jyu**
Yes. Well done, my apprentice.
**[13:41] Jyu**
You did it, Eitarou!
**[13:44] Ei**
Yeah!
**[13:46] Ei**
Yay! I did it!
**[13:47] Jyu**
You did it! You did it!
**[13:48] Ei**
Thanks, Jyushimatsu!
**[13:49] Mom**
Thank goodness I took a chance on him.
Good for you, Eitarou.
**[13:50] Jyu**
No problem!
**[13:55] Ei**
Oh, and also, Jyushimatsu...
**[13:57] Ei**
I even got a girlfriend.
**[14:01] Jyu**
Eitarou...
**[14:03] Jyu**
You're expelled!
**[14:05] Jyu**
You're expelled!
**[14:06] Jyu**
You're expelled!
**[14:14] Jyu**
How dare you surpass your Master?!
**[14:16] Mom**
Amazing!
**[14:17] Mom**
M-Master!
**[14:19] Mom**
Master! Make me your apprentice!
**[14:21] Jyu**
No more apprentices!
**[14:22] Mom**
Master!
**[14:24] Jyu**
I'm telling you, no more apprentices!
**[14:26] Mom**
Please!
**[14:27] Jyu**
Nope!
***SIGN*** End
**[14:40] Deka**
How boring.
***SIGN*** "Give Them Back"
**[14:42] Deka**
Nothing's happening. I feel so down.
**[14:51] Deka**
Wh-What are you doing?
**[14:53] Deka**
Don't! Hey!
**[14:58] Deka**
Now you've done it. Give them back.
**[15:04] Deka**
Give them back.
**[15:09] Deka**
Hey!
**[15:13] Deka**
Give them back!
**[15:20] Deka**
Give them back!
**[15:34] Deka**
Now I'm feeling much better. Thank you.
**[15:38] Deka**
It's hard to figure out what
you're really thinking,
**[15:41] Deka**
but you're actually a kind soul.
**[16:21] Deka**
Give them back!
**[16:36] Deka**
Give them back! Hey!
**[16:41] Deka**
Give them back!
**[16:42] Toto**
Eek! A pervert!
**[16:44] Toto**
Mommy!
**[16:45] Deka**
Y-You've got it all wrong!
This is his fault!
**[16:49] Aida**
That hat looks really good on you.
**[16:51] Todo**
Really?
**[16:52] Deka**
Give them back!
**[16:54] Todo**
Hey, you bastard!
**[16:57] Oso**
I lost...
**[16:58] Ichi**
This sucks.
**[17:00] Deka**
Give them back!
**[17:02] Ichi**
What?
**[17:04] ---**
Whoa, hey!
**[17:07] Ei**
Make me your apprentice again!
**[17:11] Deka**
Hold it!
**[17:14] Ei**
Jyushimatsu!
**[17:16] Jyu**
Boeh!
**[17:17] Ei**
Boeh!
***SIGN*** Don't run! It's dangerous!
**[17:21] Deka**
Give them back!
**[17:27] Deka**
Give them back!
**[17:31] Choro**
What are you doing?
**[17:33] Choro**
What, what, what?
**[17:34] Kara**
Wh-Wh-Wh-What is this?!
**[17:36] Kara**
What? What? What?!
**[17:41] Choro**
Isn't this a bit long?
**[17:43] Kara**
What the hell?!
**[17:45] Deka**
Give them back!
**[17:47] Deka**
That's enough! I'm being serious here!
**[17:51] Deka**
Seriously, give them back!
**[17:52] Deka**
Hey!
**[18:01] Deka**
What are you trying to do?
**[18:02] Deka**
What are you thinking?
**[18:05] Deka**
Hey!
**[18:06] Deka**
Hold it!
**[18:09] Deka**
Give them back!
**[19:39] Deka**
Hot, hot, hot!
**[20:42] Deka**
Give them back!
**[20:47] Deka**
I'll never forgive you!
**[20:48] Deka**
Did you hear me?!
I'll never forgive you for this!
**[20:54] Deka**
Give them back!
**[20:57] Deka**
Give them back!
**[21:00] Deka**
Hey!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** "Totoko and Nyaa 4"
**[22:39] Toto**
That's what's been on my mind lately.
**[22:42] Toto**
So I was thinking it might
be time to call it quits.
**[22:46] Toto**
I seriously don't know what to do.
**[22:48] Nya**
I see... That sucks...
**[22:51] Nya**
Doesn't it?
**[22:51] Toto**
Ow! Hot, hot, hot! Hot, hot, hot!
**[22:54] Toto**
Hot!
**[22:56] Nyaa**
My eyes! My eyes!
**[22:58] Nyaa**
Take that!
**[23:04] Toto**
The hell are you doing?!
**[23:36] Nya**
Bitch!
**[23:37] Toto**
The hell?!
**[23:39] ---**
Damn it!
**[23:42] Toto**
Disappear!
**[23:44] Toto**
You stupid Hashimoto!
***SIGN*** End
**[23:46] Toto**
Die!
**[23:47] Toto**
Uggo!
**[23:48] Nyaa**
You're the uggo!
***SIGN*** Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu
***SIGN*** "End of the Year" etc.
**[23:49] Todo**
The end of the year comes for us NEETs, too.
**[23:51] Todo**
That's both good and bad.