Season 1

E1 - The Strongest Maid in History, Tohru! (Well, She is a Dragon)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:46] Kobayashi
    My head hurts.
[00:48] Kobayashi
    I drank too much.
[01:04] Kobayashi
    Cold!
[01:06] Maid
    We're with Maid Cafe Cozy.
[01:09] Maid
    Please stop by.
[01:11] Maid
    We hope you'll visit.
[01:15] Kobayashi
    Man... my lower back hurts.
SIGN    Stomach Medicine
[01:20] Kobayashi
    Today we're running the integration
    test on that program, huh?
[01:45] Kobayashi
    Dragons.
[01:46] Kobayashi
    The most powerful creatures there are.
[01:49] Kobayashi
    An imaginary creation that breathes fire,
    flies, and sometimes uses magic.
[01:59] Tohru
    Tada!
[02:10] Kobayashi
    Or... so I thought.
[03:48] Tohru
    Good morning, Miss Kobayashi.
SIGN    Horns. Tails. Illusion? Where from? Dragon. Cosplay. Real? Lack of Sleep? Delusion? Stranger. Girl. Maid. Will she eat me? Who? Greeting me? Speaking. I'll be eaten. Too tired?
SIGN    Dream
[03:55] Kobayashi
    Good morning.
[03:57] Tohru
    Would it be all right to come in?
[03:59] Kobayashi
    Oh, sure, come inside.
SIGN    -Working Adult's Response-
[04:04] Kobayashi
    So we met yesterday,
    and I offered to let you stay here?
SIGN    Miss Kobayashi
[04:08] Kobayashi
    Uh, Tohru-san? That's what I said?
[04:11] Tohru
    Yes!
SIGN    Tohru
[04:13] K
    Strange. I'm not waking up from this dream.
[04:16] K
    It's not a dream?
[04:18] K
    No, no...
[04:21] K
    Um...
[04:22] K
    Where did we meet?
[04:23] Tohru
    The mountains!
[04:24] Tohru
    We met in the mountains!
[04:27] K
    The mountains?
[04:30] K
    Mountains...
[04:33] K
    In the mountains...
[04:37] K
    A dragon?
[04:40] K
    Then...
[04:43] K
    Uh...
SIGN    Dragonslayer
[04:48] (Flashback) K
    Want to come to my place?
[04:50] (Flashback) K
    Want to come to my place?
[04:53] T
    I'll never forget those kind words!
[04:56] T
    Please allow me to start
    working here as your maid!
[05:00] K
    You can't.
[05:01] T
    Huh?
[05:02] K
    I don't know if you're a dragon or whatever,
    but I'm not planning on hiring anyone.
[05:08] T
    I-I wouldn't need any pay!
[05:10] K
    No, that's not the problem...
[05:11] T
    I can be useful!
SIGN    Fire Curse
[05:14] T
    I can turn this entire area into a sea
    of fire, or curse people to death!
[05:17] K
    No, no, no!
[05:18] K
    Though, why a maid?
[05:20] T
    Because you said a maid would be best!
[05:22] K
    I did?
[05:28] K
    Oh, right.
[05:33] K
    I'm sorry I made a promise I can't keep.
[05:36] K
    But I hope you'll understand...
[05:38] K
    I can't change the impossible.
[05:46] T
    It's absolutely impossible?
[05:49] K
    Yeah, I'm sorry.
[05:55] T
    Understood.
[05:57] T
    My apologies as well, for
    dropping in so suddenly.
[06:14] (Flashback) K
    Want to come to my place?
[06:18] K
    I can't erase this guilt.
[06:24] K
    It's not a dream?
[06:27] K
    If it's not a dream, then...
SIGN    Shift Starts 9:00
[06:34] K
    I'm late?!
[06:35] K
    Tohru!
[06:39] K
    Can you fly?!
[06:51] K
    Super fast!
[06:53] Dragon
    Huh? What'd you say?
[06:54] K
    You're damn fast!
[07:02] K
    I guess I'll hire her.
[07:03] D
    Really?!
[07:04] K
    So you can hear me.
[07:08] K
    Maybe it won't be so bad to have
    someone around from now on.
[07:12] K
    Thinking that way—
[07:15] K
    This really hits my lower back.
[07:21] K
    Ahem.
[07:23] K
    First, let's see what you consider
    proper form for a maid.
[07:28] T
    Very well!
SIGN    Maid Cafe Cozy
[07:29] T
    Here you go.
SIGN    Maid Cafe
    Cozy
[07:31] T
    Maid Cafe Cozy.
[07:33] K
    What's this?
[07:35] T
    I saw it on the way here.
[07:37] K
    Looks like I'll have to
    teach you from scratch.
[07:39] K
    First, as a housemaid, you clean!
[07:42] T
    I'm good at cleaning!
[07:46] T
    How's that?!
[07:47] K
    What are you doing destroying it?!
[07:48] T
    Now I bring it back.
[07:50] K
    You can bring it back?!
[07:50] K
    Next! Laundry maid!
[07:52] K
    You do laundry!
[07:53] T
    I can handle that, too!
SIGN    I can produce saliva that only removes stains
SIGN    I can produce saliva that only removes stains.
[08:00] K
    That's filthy! Be mindful of appearances!
[08:02] K
    Next! Parlour maid!
[08:04] K
    You entertain guests.
[08:05] T
    Please leave it to me!
[08:07] Delivery
    Delivery. Please sign here.
[08:09] T
    We have nothing for foolish,
    inferior humans like you!
[08:12] K
    Hey!
[08:13] T
    Oh, you're an exception
    of course, Miss Kobayashi!
[08:16] K
    Last one! Kitchen maid!
[08:18] K
    You cook!
[08:19] T
    I'm the best at that!
[08:21] T
    Here's my roasted tail!
[08:24] K
    No way.
[08:24] T
    Huh?
[08:26] K
    No way.
[08:27] T
    Wha?!
[08:28] T
    Should I have roasted it longer?
[08:30] K
    That's not the problem.
[08:31] T
    I'm confident you'll enjoy
    it, Miss Kobayashi!
[08:33] K
    It doesn't work ethically
    or physiologically.
[08:35] T
    Oh, I see. So you're a picky eater, then?
[08:38] K
    You're biased.
[08:39] T
    Jeez, you're hopeless.
[08:45] K
    It grew back?!
[08:46] T
    It took time to remove the poison, you know!
[08:49] K
    It's poisonous?!
[08:50] K
    Hmm, you don't even know the
    basics of being a maid.
[08:55] T
    I'll learn from the ground up!
[08:56] T
    First, please tell me what you dislike!
[08:59] K
    What I dislike?
[09:01] K
    I'm no good with hijiki or eggplant.
[09:03] T
    I see. I'll remember that.
[09:05] T
    By the way, I dislike eggs
    without yolks myself.
[09:09] T
    My friend, Herensuge,
    was hit with one and killed.
[09:12] K
    That's surreal.
[09:13] K
    Wait, why are you asking about my dislikes?
[09:16] K
    Wouldn't you usually ask what I like?
[09:18] T
    Oh, I can't do that.
[09:20] T
    Many of my friends were actually
    slain using the things they like.
[09:24] T
    Like liquor, women, gems, and such.
[09:26] K
    Not much different from humans.
[09:28] T
    But I'll let you know this one.
[09:31] T
    I love you, Miss Kobayashi!
[09:34] K
    Are you planning to eat me?
[09:35] T
    I don't mean that way! I mean sexually!
[09:38] K
    I'm a woman, though?
[09:40] T
    You saved me, Miss Kobayashi!
[09:42] T
    So I'll use my entire
    being to repay the favor!
[09:45] T
    I'd like you to use me to commute
    to work again tomorrow!
[09:48] K
    I had enough of that today. You're hard.
[09:51] T
    Please give me a chance!
[09:53] T
    I was raised to repay all favors,
    even if owed to foolish, inferior humans!
[09:58] K
    You said "foolish, inferior" again.
[10:01] K
    Tohru. There's a reason I
    won't use you to commute.
[10:06] T
    Your lower back?
[10:07] K
    That's half the reason.
[10:09] K
    The other half is...
[10:12] K
    You stand out!
[10:14] K
    I think dragons are better
    left holding down the fort!
[10:17] T
    Holding the fort?!
[10:19] K
    You're one of the stronger
    dragons, right, Tohru?
[10:21] T
    Strong enough to bring about Armageddon.
[10:23] K
    Don't bring it about.
[10:25] K
    The world's more dangerous lately.
[10:28] K
    It'll be a relief to know you're
    here keeping the house safe.
[10:32] T
    Understood! Leave it to me!
[10:35] K
    Simple-gon.
[10:37] K
    Well, I'm off to the office.
[10:39] K
    If anybody calls, please answer.
[10:42] T
    Calls?
[10:43] K
    Oh, right.
[10:45] K
    This is a phone.
[10:46] K
    When it rings, pick it up like this.
[10:49] K
    Then...
[10:51] T
    Understood!
[10:52] K
    Okay, take care.
[10:53] T
    Have a safe trip!
[10:56] T
    Holding the fort?
[11:01] T
    What were those people doing anyway?
[11:04] T
    I guess I'll ask Fafnir-san.
[11:07] Fafnir
    Kill them.
[11:08] Fafnir
    Kill all who try to steal your treasure.
[11:11] Fafnir
    Kill all you suspect.
[11:13] Fafnir
    Kill them with curses.
[11:14] Fafnir
    Curse their generations to come—
[11:16] T
    That's helpful!
[11:17] T
    All right, time to do my best to
    earn Miss Kobayashi's praise!
[11:25] Thief
    The person living here is away at this hour.
[11:28] Thief
    Let's finish this quickly.
[11:29] Thief
    There.
[11:45] Thief
    Protect us!
[11:47] Thief
    We saw one!
[11:48] Police
    Saw what?
[11:48] Thief
    A monster!
[11:50] K
    I'm home.
[11:52] T
    Welcome home!
[11:53] K
    Hold the fort down well?
[11:55] T
    I was lonely.
[11:56] K
    Hmm.
[11:57] T
    I didn't get to kill them either.
[11:58] K
    Mhmm. Wait, what?!
SIGN    The Strongest Maid in History, Tohru! (Well, She is a Dragon)
SIGN    Episode 1
[12:13] Takiya
    Kobayashi-san.
[12:14] K
    What is it, Takiya-kun?
SIGN    Takiya Makoto
[12:16] M
    Want to go drinking tonight?
[12:18] K
    Well, maybe for one round.
[12:22] K
    There are plenty of other girls you could ask.
[12:25] M
    You're like one of the guys, though.
[12:28] K
    Why you...
[12:32] M
    That girl's looking our way.
    Someone you know?
[12:37] T
    I'm Kobayashi Tohru!
[12:39] T
    I'm a maid living with
    Miss Kobayashi every day.
[12:45] K
    She's one of my relatives,
    and I'm looking after her.
[12:48] M
    I'm Takiya Makoto, her coworker.
[12:51] M
    Nice to meet you, Tohru-chan.
[12:53] T
    Nice to meet you, too.
[12:55] M
    We were just talking about
    going for drinks together.
[12:56] T
    This man is trying to seduce Miss Kobayashi.
[12:58] M
    Would you like to come, too, Tohru-chan?
[12:59] M
    Wait, are you old enough to drink?
[13:00] T
    I won't allow it!
[13:02] T
    Yes, I can drink, stultus.
SIGN    stultus = Latin, fool
[13:05] M
    Stul?
[13:11] K
    A round after work's the best!
[13:14] T
    Miss Kobayashi's so cute!
[13:16] M
    Huh? You're not drinking any liquor, Tohru?
[13:19] T
    No.
[13:20] M
    I see. Well, you can drink what you like.
[13:20] T
    I don't intend to share drinks with you.
[13:23] T
    Still, what do I do about this man?
[13:25] T
    The laws are strict in this world, too.
[13:28] T
    Right!
[13:29] M
    Man, still, today's work
    was rough, wasn't it?
[13:30] T
    I can show off how close
    me and Miss Kobayashi are!
SIGN    Key Performance, Cycle Process, Rewrites, Iterations, Revisions,
    Solutions, Alpha Tests, Source Level Compatibility, Anti-Pattern,
    Steering Committee, Transaction Division, Project Management,
    Development Processes, Frontloading, Metrics, Spiral Models,
    Evidence, Coders, Dumps, Crashing, Spaghetti Code, Cutovers, Moderation
[13:33] K
    We're only secondary or tertiary
    subcontractors, so what can we do?
[13:37] M
    But when we follow their exact directions,
    it always causes failures, right?
[13:41] M
    And if we don't point it out,
    the developers don't notice either.
[13:44] K
    That's why correcting
    that is part of our job.
[13:49] M
    I know that, I'm just complaining about
    them foisting their problems on us.
[13:52] K
    It's common for schedules to be based on
    people taking on more roles. Common.
[13:53] T
    I can't follow what they're saying at all...
[13:55] T
    Speak Dragon, please.
[13:57] M
    Ah, I'm sorry, Tohru-chan.
[13:59] M
    It's hard for you to join
    in the conversation, right?
[14:03] T
    Th-The level's so low I don't feel
    like joining in, that's all!
[14:05] ---
    Ah.
[14:07] T
    Let's talk more about
    Ragnarok and Armageddon!
[14:10] M
    Huh?!
[14:11] T
    Besides, I've had enough of this!
[14:13] T
    Time to use force!
[14:14] T
    I'll kill you, then leave
    you out to feed the jackals!
[14:19] T
    Miss Kobayashi?
[14:23] K
    Tohru!
[14:25] K
    Maids don't talk like that!
[14:30] T
    She's drunk!
[14:31] K
    First of all, what's with your maid uniform?
SIGN    Gripe
[14:34] K
    Are you underestimating maids?
[14:35] K
    Braid your hair and put it in a cap.
[14:37] K
    We've got enough french maids.
    That's just cosplay now.
[14:40] Makoto
    Here it comes!
[14:42] T
    T-Takiya-san?!
[14:43] M
    Kobayashi-dono!
[14:45] M
    I agree Tohru-tan's a cosplay-level maid!
[14:47] M
    She's just like those foreigners
    pretending to be ninja or samurai!
[14:50] K
    That's right!
[14:51] K
    I'll acknowledge the cuteness
    of the Gothic lolita trend,
[14:53] K
    but that draws a clear
    line as local fashion!
[14:56] M
    Exactly! While lolita and maid
    fashion may acknowledge one another,
[15:00] M
    they should be more careful
    about blending together!
[15:03] M
    In the first place, maid costumes like
    hers spread throughout Japan because...
[15:04] T
    This has gone beyond joining or
    not joining the conversation.
[15:08] K
    Hey, Tohru!
[15:10] K
    We're giving you some high-level maid
    conversations, so talk. Got it?
[15:16] T
    I-I'm sorry.
[15:17] M
    Tohru-tan, those horns of yours really
    raise the cosplay level, too...
[15:22] T
    I'm a dragon, so I don't know
    what you're talking about.
[15:24] K
    Strip.
[15:25] Both
    Huh?
[15:26] K
    Strip!
[15:28] T
    Huh?
[15:29] K
    Hide them!
[15:30] K
    Hide your breasts and loins!
[15:32] K
    Acting embarrassed when you're
    stripped is part of proper behavior!
[15:35] T
    Y-Yes!
[15:36] K
    Not enough embarrassment!
[15:39] K
    Show us what you're made of!
[15:40] T
    H-Humans are terrifying!
[15:41] K
    Bring more liquor and maids!
[15:44] K
    Victorian maids!
[15:47] M
    I'm sorry, Tohru-chan.
[15:49] M
    I usually go drinking with
    Kobayashi-san to chat about maids.
[15:53] M
    I'm secretly an otaku, so outings
    like this are very precious to me.
[15:58] T
    Yes, I understand.
[16:00] T
    In exchange, I'll be surprising you a bit.
[16:18] M
    We'll say I drank too much.
[16:20] M
    You really like Kobayashi-san, huh?
[16:24] T
    Yes.
[16:27] T
    Though I hate you.
[16:52] T
    So humans all soil their
    clothes with waste products?
[16:57] T
    Inferior species!
[16:59] T
    Miss Kobayashi's waste...
[17:03] T
    Hmm, none left.
[17:07] K
    I told you before, didn't I?
[17:09] K
    Stop licking the laundry.
[17:11] T
    Yes.
[17:12] T
    From now on I'll handle it by licking
    you directly, Miss Kobayashi.
[17:14] K
    Don't lick me.
[17:15] K
    Also, there's the way you do laundry!
[17:17] T
    Am I doing it wrong?
[17:18] K
    You are!
[17:19] K
    Try listing the steps for doing laundry.
[17:21] T
    Yes.
[17:22] T
    First, I use my clairvoyance
    to check inside your pockets.
[17:25] K
    Okay.
[17:26] T
    Then I separate them into
    plain and patterned piles,
[17:26] T
    Hurry up and finish!
[17:28] T
    and wash them using separate detergents.
[17:29] K
    Good.
[17:31] T
    Then I wash the delicate fabrics by mouth.
[17:33] K
    Hey!
[17:33] T
    I told you, I produce saliva
    that removes stains.
[17:35] K
    No!
[17:36] K
    I told you appearances are important!
[17:38] T
    Ah, so you mean I should do it like this?
[17:40] K
    That's not the problem here!
[17:41] K
    Also, Tohru!
[17:43] K
    You're always wearing the
    same uniform, aren't you?
[17:45] K
    You can't. You need to change, too.
[17:47] T
    But these are my scales.
[17:48] K
    Scales?!
[17:50] T
    Yes, so I don't need to change.
[17:53] K
    Oh, I see.
[17:55] T
    What's the matter?
[17:58] K
    Oh, well.
[18:00] K
    I bought you some personal clothes, anyway.
[18:05] T
    Thank you very much!
[18:07] K
    Well, you are doing a lot for me,
     so I wanted to thank you.
[18:11] T
    Ah...
[18:12] T
    Miss Kobayashi,
    would you like a sacrifice later?
[18:16] T
    Would you like to drink my fresh blood?
[18:17] K
    Am I a demon?!
[18:19] T
    Heavens no! You're an angel!
[18:21] T
    Oh, but please don't start serving God.
[18:24] K
    Just try it on.
[18:26] T
    Oh!
[18:29] K
    Well?
[18:29] T
    The chest is...
SIGN    Tight
[18:31] K
    Tohru, what size are you?
[18:33] T
    D! For dragon!
[18:35] K
    There you go learning stupid things.
[18:37] K
    Oh, it's already time?
[18:40] K
    Well, Tohru, use the Internet to study up
    on hygiene practices until I get home.
[18:45] T
    The Internet?
[18:46] K
    Oh, right.
SIGN    Hygiene practices
SIGN    Japan's Hygiene Practices
SIGN    <Column> Values (Cleanliness)
SIGN    Hygiene in Daily Life
[18:49] T
    Oh!
[18:51] K
    You look it up like this.
[18:52] T
    Understood!
[18:53] K
    All right, I'm heading off.
[18:55] T
    Have a safe trip.
[19:00] T
    Now, then.
SIGN    Hygiene in Daily Life
SIGN    This site records a special discussion by food manufacturers growing food in our nation. The daily life and rearing of children is also... >Read More
SIGN    Assurance and Health in People's Everyday Lives
SIGN    What are Hygiene Practices?
SIGN    Definition of Hygiene Practices. What is Hygiene? Definition, Synonyms.
SIGN    Cleanliness vs uncleanliness. What is good for human health? >Read More
[19:06] T
    Hmm, I still don't quite get it.
[19:11] T
    I'll ask Fafnir-san again.
[19:14] F
    Kill th—
[19:15] T
    Let's not.
[19:17] T
    I'll ask knowledgeable Quetzalcoatl instead.
[19:21] T
    Hello, Lucoa-san?
[19:23] L
    Tohru-kun? It's been a while.
[19:26] Tohru
    Actually, blah blah, yadda yadda.
[19:27] L
    Mhmm...
[19:30] L
    That's not a problem of clean or filthy, no.
[19:33] T
    Huh?
[19:34] L
    You remember Nidhogg-kun, right?
[19:36] T
    Umm, the one gnawing a
    tree's roots all year long?
[19:38] Lucua
    The world tree's, yeah.
[19:39] Lucua
    No matter how much Nidhogg-kun's
    poisonous fangs pollute it,
[19:42] Lucua
    the goddesses purify it,
    so the tree stays clean. But...
[19:46] T
    Yes?
[19:47] L
    What happens to the spots he gnaws?
[19:50] T
    Ah...
[19:51] T
    I think he still leaves something
    behind. Like a curse or something.
[19:54] L
    Yeah, that's right.
[19:56] L
    This Miss Kobayashi you speak
    of is worried about that.
[19:59] T
    I see now! Thank you very much!
[20:01] L
    Tohru-kun,
[20:03] L
    are you having fun living with people?
[20:08] T
    Yes!
[20:14] T
    The laundry won't dry at this rate, will it?
[20:18] T
    All right.
[20:49] K
    That Tohru...
[20:51] K
    I guess I still need to
    teach her a lot of things.
[20:54] ---
    What?
[20:56] Kanna
    That breath...
[20:57] Kanna
    I found you.
[21:08] T
    Inhaling the scent's okay, right?
[21:15] K
    You don't need to sleep?
[21:17] T
    No. But I want to sleep
    with you, so I'll sleep!
[21:21] K
    Do as you please, then.
[21:23] T
    Yes, I will!
[21:27] K
    Well, good night.
[21:29] T
    Yes, good night.
[21:41] K
    It's cramped.
[21:43] T
    I can't?
[21:45] K
    Well, it's fine.
[22:33] K
    What's wrong?
[22:35] T
    I was fighting. In another world.
[22:39] T
    A sword ran through my body.
[22:43] K
    Did it hurt?
[22:45] T
    It hurt.
[22:47] K
    Does it still hurt?
[22:48] T
    It doesn't hurt now.
[22:51] K
    That's good, then.
[22:53] K
    Good night.
[22:59] T
    Good night.
[23:14] T
    Welcome home, Miss Kobayashi.
[23:17] T
    Welcome home.
[23:19] T
    Hey, hey!
[23:20] K
    What are you looking at and studying?
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[23:27] T
    Tell me what you like this time!
[23:29] K
    Maids.
[23:30] T
    You mean me, then?
[23:32] K
    No, not so.
[23:33] T
    What else?
[23:34] K
    Peace.
[23:35] T
    So I'm enough for you!
SIGN    Second Dragon, Kanna! (We're Totally Spoiling Here)
SIGN    Episode 2
[23:36] K
    No, not that either.

E2 - Second Dragon, Kanna! (We're Totally Spoiling Here)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] K
    Good grief. Why did you completely
    burn our ingredients?
[00:10] T
    Well, my apologies.
[00:13] K
    Have more faith in the gas stove.
[00:15] T
    I thought the heat wasn't strong enough.
[00:17] K
    Use a flame, not a blaze.
[00:19] K
    Your brain was the thing
    that wasn't strong enough.
[00:23] K
    That reminds me, this is my first time
    going shopping with Tohru, isn't it?
[00:28] K
    I wonder what she's like when she's shopping.
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
[02:05] T
    Huh?
[02:06] K
    Huh?
[02:07] T
    This is the shopping district.
[02:09] K
    You don't use the
    department store over there?
[02:12] T
    That place is like a castle
    and makes me uncomfortable.
[02:15] K
    Castle?
[02:16] T
    The white color reminds
    me of the crusader's bases.
[02:20] K
    And the shopping district?
SIGN    Shop at your local shopping district! Use your point card for savings!
[02:22] T
    It's like the guild's bazaars.
[02:24] T
    It's a little better.
[02:26] K
    So your standards are basically
    based on your past experiences, huh?
SIGN    Toda Fresh Seafood
[02:30] K
    Well, let's start by buying the fish.
[02:33] ---
    Yup.
[02:33] Fisher
    Oh hey, Tohru-chan.
[02:35] T
    Good afternoon, Mr. Toda.
[02:37] K
    Huh?
[02:37] F
    It's not often I see you with anyone.
[02:39] F
    She a friend?
[02:40] T
    She's my Master.
[02:42] F
    Huh?
[02:42] K
    H-Hello.
[02:44] F
    Tohru-chan's funny, isn't she?
[02:46] F
    We've got some good mackerel
    in today. How about it?
[02:49] T
    In that case, I'll take two of those
    and two dried jack mackerel.
[02:52] F
    Coming up.
[02:53] K
    He gave us an extra fillet of mackerel...
[02:56] T
    Wasn't that nice of him?
[02:58] K
    Why are you friends with the fishmonger?
[03:00] T
    Huh? We're not friends.
SIGN    What about it?
[03:02] T
    When I was courteous to him he started
    being nice in return, that's all.
[03:07] K
    Tohru, I think you have a tendency
    to not understand human emotions.
[03:10] T
    Of course things are different
    with you, Miss Kobayashi!
[03:13] T
    We share mutual love!
[03:14] K
    You definitely don't understand.
SIGN    Tatsuda Butchery
[03:16] Butcher
    Hey, Tohru-chan.
[03:17] Butcher
    What'll it be today?
[03:19] Butcher
    I'll throw some extra in.
[03:21] T
    Huh? You mean it?
[03:23] K
    Here, too?
[03:24] K
    Or rather...
[03:25] Clothier
    My, long time no see.
[03:27] T
    Hello.
[03:28] Man
    Oh, it's the cosplay lady!
[03:30] T
    Hey!
[03:31] Fortuneteller
    Getting along well?
[03:31] K
    This dragon's better at socializing than me?
[03:33] T
    Here and there.
[03:34] FT
    How about it, Tohru-chan?
[03:35] K
    She make talk condescendingly, calling humans
[03:36] FT
    Care to have your romantic fortune read?
[03:37] K
    an inferior species and lesser creatures,
[03:38] T
    Huh? Thank you, but I'm good on that front.
[03:39] K
    but she's interacting
    with them normally enough.
[03:42] K
    I guess she doesn't hate us.
[03:43] T
    Farewell, then.
[03:45] T
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[03:47] K
    Oh, it's fine.
[03:49] K
    Now that I think about it, I hardly
    know anything about Tohru.
[03:55] K
    I'd like to know more... I guess.
[04:01] K
    I think it's probably best
    not to ask about that.
SIGN    Homemade Western Confections
    Salmandra
[04:04] K
    It's clearly a touchy topic for her.
[04:08] K
    Well, shall we buy some dessert?
[04:10] T
    Huh? Really?
[04:12] K
    What would you like?
[04:13] T
    I'd love an eclair!
[04:15] T
    Did you know? Eclair means
     flash of lightning!
[04:20] K
    Wow.
[04:20] K
    Speaking of lightning, there's the Norse
    god Thor... is your name related to that?
[04:25] T
    Absolutely not.
[04:27] T
    According to my parents, it comes
    from an author here in this world.
[04:31] K
    Huh? Your parents—
[04:34] Woman
    Purse snatcher! Someone stop him!
[04:37] T
    Miss Kobayashi, may I stop him?
[04:39] K
    Huh?
[04:40] K
    Uh, can you do it without
    exposing yourself as a dragon?
[04:45] T
    Yes!
[04:45] T
    Understood!
[04:49] Thief
    Good, now that I'm this far away...
[04:51] K
    Huh?
[05:07] K
    Doesn't this mean trouble?
[05:14] K
    Tohru!
[05:17] T
    Huh?
[05:18] K
    Huh?
[05:19] Toda
    Amazing, Tohru-chan!
[05:21] Clothier
    I can't believe you're so strong!
[05:23] Background
    That was cool, lady!
[05:23] Background
    You've got quite the legs on you!
[05:25] K
    It worked out.
[05:26] Background
    Impressive!
[05:28] ---
    I can sleep soundly tonight!
[05:41] T
    Just now, I was scared.
[05:44] K
    I was sweating, too.
[05:46] K
    Sorry. I should have told
    you to hold back more.
[05:51] T
    It's okay.
[05:56] T
    Um, your hand...
[06:07] K
    You want to hold hands a little longer?
[06:08] T
    Yes.
[06:15] T
    I won't wash this hand for a while.
[06:29] K
    How does tail taste?
[06:31] T
    Sweet and creamy!
[06:33] K
    Singing your own praises, huh?
[06:44] K
    Is my package here?
[06:47] K
    Hello?
[06:48] K
    Huh?
[06:56] K
    I invited her into my house...
[06:58] K
    But she's Tohru's friend, right?
[07:01] K
    She has horns and a tail, so...
[07:04] K
    But Tohru's out shopping right now.
[07:06] T
    Today we're having meat and potato stew!
[07:08] K
    What to do about this...
[07:10] K
    What's your name?
[07:15] Kanna
    Break up with Lady Tohru.
[07:17] Kobyashi
    Hmm? Lady?
[07:19] Kobyashi
    What did you just say?
[07:21] Kanna
    I know that you've seduced her.
[07:24] Kanna
    With your body.
[07:25] K
    Huh?
[07:26] Kanna
    Cuckold.
[07:28] Kanna
    Slut in glasses!
[07:30] K
    Hey, aren't you making
    a mistake? I'm not a slu—
[07:33] K
    Whoa now.
[07:33] Kanna
    Break up with her! Give her back!
[07:36] T
    Miss Kobayashi, I'm home!
[07:36] Kanna
    Why you!
[07:40] T
    Are you cheating on me?!
[07:45] K
    Don't make things more
    complicated! Not worse!
[07:47] Kanna
    Lady Tohru.
[07:48] T
    Ah...
[07:51] T
    This girl is called Kanna Kamui.
SIGN    Kanna Kamui
[07:53] T
    She's an acquaintance of mine.
[07:55] K
    Figured.
[07:56] Kanna
    Lady Tohru went missing,
    so I came searching for her.
[07:59] K
    Went missing?
[08:01] K
    Tohru, you need to let your friends know.
[08:04] T
    Sorry.
[08:05] T
    Still, I'm surprised you found this place.
[08:09] Kanna
    I saw Lady Tohru breathe
    fire on that cloudy day.
[08:12] Kanna
    And I sensed your magic power.
[08:13] T
    Ah...
[08:14] K
    You were careless there, huh, Tohru?
[08:16] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, why are you in such an outfit?
[08:19] Kanna
    Come home with me.
[08:21] Kanna
    I need you, Lady Tohru.
[08:28] T
    I'm not going home.
[08:31] Kanna
    Why not?
[08:33] T
    Because...
[08:34] T
    I'm in love with Miss Kobayashi!
[08:37] K
    Hey, take this seri—
[08:38] Kanna
    I knew it!
[08:38] K
    Huh?!
[08:39] Kanna
    I saw you on your date at the bazaar!
[08:42] Kanna
    You were holding hands in public!
[08:44] Kanna
    You perverts!
[08:45] K
    On our date?
[08:47] K
    Don't blush about it!
[08:48] Kanna
    In that case, I'll kill you if I must...
[08:52] Kanna
    Die!
[08:54] Kanna
    Why you!
[08:59] Kanna
    Why... you!
[09:00] T
    Kanna...
[09:01] T
    You've become incredibly
    powerless, haven't you?
[09:04] Kanna
    You're the odd one, Lady Tohru!
[09:07] Kanna
    The mana purity here is too low!
[09:10] K
    Kanna-chan, do you mean...
[09:11] K
    you can't get home?
[09:14] Kanna
    Th-That's not true.
[09:16] K
    It's not? But you don't have
    anywhere to stay, right?
[09:19] K
    Come on, look me in the eye and answer.
[09:22] T
    I think your dead-fish eyes
    are scary, Miss Kobayashi.
[09:26] T
    Kanna, please tell us honestly
    about what you're planning.
[09:30] T
    If you're after Miss Kobayashi,
    then I'm sorry, but give it up.
[09:33] K
    Tohru, be quiet for a moment.
[09:39] Kanna
    Actually...
[09:41] K
    You were exiled for a prank?
[09:44] T
    Kanna does love pulling pranks.
[09:46] K
    Uh, so to sum things up...
[09:48] K
    It's like this?
SIGN    Mommy, open up!
SIGN    I'll be good!
[09:50] T
    Like that, yes.
[09:51] T
    She's probably not allowed to return
    until she reflects on her actions.
[09:54] T
    It would be futile for me
    to try sending her back.
[09:56] K
    So right now she's all on her own...
[09:59] T
    Yes.
[10:06] K
    Kanna-chan.
[10:10] K
    If you have no place to stay,
     want to live here?
[10:14] T
    Huh? You told me no the first
    time I asked, though. Huh?
[10:18] K
    Once you have one, two's nothing.
[10:20] Kanna
    I don't trust humans!
[10:23] Kanna
    You're plotting something!
[10:25] Kanna
    You're trying to use me!
[10:31] K
    So you can't trust anyone
    in an unknown world?
[10:34] K
    That's natural.
[10:36] K
    I wouldn't trust anyone either.
[10:39] K
    Trusting someone is something that happens
    after you become friends or become lovers.
[10:48] K
    Kanna-chan, I won't ask you to be my friend.
[10:52] K
    Let's live together.
[10:54] K
    That's all.
[11:02] Kanna
    Okay.
[11:07] T
    I'm so glad I fell in love
    with Miss Kobayashi.
[11:30] K
    There!
[11:31] K
    There!
[11:32] K
    There!
[11:32] K
    There!
[11:34] K
    Am I domesticating her with food?
SIGN    Episode 2
SIGN    Second Dragon, Kanna! (We're Totally Spoiling Here)
[11:48] Kanna
    I want to play!
[11:49] K
    What about your game?
[11:51] Kanna
    I'm bored with it.
[11:52] T
    Kanna is a child, after all.
[11:54] T
    She wants to exercise her
    body to the fullest.
[11:57] K
    When I was a kid I spent my days
    playing video games, though...
[12:01] T
    Well then, would you like to
    play with me outside today?
[12:05] Kanna
    Yeah!
[12:07] T
    Would you like to come, too, Miss Kobayashi?
[12:09] T
    No, please come!
[12:10] K
    I hate exercising.
[12:20] K
    Is this Japan?
[12:22] T
    Who knows?
[12:23] T
    I just landed in a big
    field that looked nice.
[12:28] K
    Well, whatever.
[12:30] K
    I'm going to sleep off the
    fatigue from my deathma.
SIGN    Deathma: Short for death march.
    To work without rest under an
    overloaded schedule.
SIGN    No Reception
[12:33] K
    Wake me up when you're finished playing.
[12:35] K
    And return us to Japan.
[12:37] T
    Oh well.
[12:39] T
    Okay, shall we play by ourselves?
[12:41] Kanna
    Yeah.
[13:13] K
    Wait, wait, wait!
[13:14] T
    Huh? I thought you were going to sleep?
[13:16] K
    How can I sleep?!
[13:17] K
    What are you battling to the
    death over all of a sudden?!
[13:19] T
    Oh, no. We were just
     roughhousing a little bit is all.
[13:23] Kanna
    You're over-exaggerating, Kobayashi.
[13:24] K
    Shoot, I'm at the disadvantage here.
[13:26] T
    Oh, I bet you wanted to join in,
    too, right, Miss Kobayashi?
[13:29] T
    Jeez, you're not very honest.
[13:31] K
    I'd die!
[13:32] Kanna
    
[13:34] Kanna
    It's fun to move around in a human body.
[13:36] K
    I thought your strength
    was gone, Kanna-chan?
[13:40] Kanna
    The source of my power is electricity.
[13:43] Kanna
    So it returned after I recharged.
[13:45] K
    Are you made of lithium?
[13:47] K
    If we're playing around,
    keep it to human standards.
[13:49] T
    Huh? We were at human standards, though?
[13:52] K
    Huh?
[13:53] T
    Huh?
[13:54] T
    In our world there are plenty of
    humans capable of doing that.
[13:57] K
    There's very few, in fact
    none, who can here.
[14:00] T
    No, I saw some on TV the other day.
[14:02] K
    That's fiction, it wasn't reality.
[14:06] K
    Oh, sorry, for crushing your dreams.
[14:09] K
    Whatever.
[14:10] K
    I'll be sleeping over here.
[14:13] K
    Keep your playing around to my level.
[14:15] T
    Yes.
[14:16] T
    So there you have it, Kanna.
[14:18] T
    First, let's try to recall how
    Miss Kobayashi usually acts.
[14:21] Kanna
    Yeah!
[14:23] K
    The power of dragons...
[14:26] K
    I've seen it a few times now,
    but it's still terrifying.
[14:30] K
    If they felt like it, our world would be...
[14:40] T
    My lower back! My lower back!
[14:43] Kanna
    I'm tired! I'm dying!
[14:48] K
    Ah, never.
[14:49] K
    They'd never destroy our world.
[14:51] K
    And that exhausted behavior
    is totally me, yeah.
[14:55] T
    Ah, that was fun.
[14:57] K
    Was it?
[14:58] T
    I guess you really didn't want
    to play, Miss Kobayashi.
[15:01] K
    Hmm...
[15:18] K
    Guess we can play shiritori.
[15:20] K
    Apple (ringo).
[15:21] Kanna
    Gorilla (gorira).
[15:22] T
    Trumpet (rappa).
[15:23] K
    Parachute (parashuuto).
[15:25] Kanna
    Tornado (toruneedo).
[15:26] T
    Do, do... hmm...
[15:30] T
    Oh, dragon (doragon)!
[15:31] K
    Okay, you lose.
[15:33] T
    Ah.
[15:45] T
    You only left my tail-meat behind again!
[15:48] K
    I told you I can't.
[15:50] K
    Though if you turned it into ground
    meat, I probably wouldn't notice.
[15:53] T
    But then you wouldn't know
    it's my meat, would you?!
[15:56] K
    You want to emphasize that?
[16:03] K
    Hmm?
SIGN    The Crane Repays a Debt
[16:04] T
    Miss Kobayashi, please don't peek into
    the kitchen until I call for you.
SIGN    The Crane Repays a Debt
[16:09] T
    Now, then.
[16:12] T
    That was fast!
[16:12] K
    I don't need grilled tail.
[16:14] T
    Wha?!
[16:18] Kanna
    Kobayashi, where are you going?
[16:20] K
    Hmm? To work.
[16:22] Kanna
    I'll go, too!
[16:23] T
    Kanna, you have things to do
    with me today, don't you?
[16:26] K
    Things to do?
[16:27] T
    Kanna hasn't been in this
    world very long, so...
[16:31] T
    I thought I'd teach her a few things.
[16:33] K
    Huh? You will?
[16:35] Kanna
    No! I want to go with Kobayashi!
[16:38] K
    She's suddenly attached to me.
[16:40] T
    If you keep being selfish, I'll break you.
[16:43] K
    I'm off!
[16:44] T
    Have a safe trip!
[16:45] T
    Now then, Kanna, we're going to have you
    learn the commonsense of this society.
[16:49] Kanna
    Commonsense of this society?
[16:51] T
    First, you should learn
    what you must not do.
[16:54] Kanna
    Oh!
[16:55] T
    First, you must honor traffic lights!
[16:58] T
    Otherwise, you'll be hit by a car.
[17:00] Kanna
    That's what those iron boxes are called?
[17:02] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, you're smart!
[17:05] Kanna
    How do they move?
[17:08] T
    Probably with magic.
[17:10] T
    Apparently you need a device
    called a "license" for them.
[17:12] Kanna
    Does Kobayashi possess a license?
[17:15] Kanna
    I'd love to try riding in a car!
[17:17] T
    She seems to possess a license,
    but she doesn't have a car.
[17:21] T
    Apparently it imposes strains
    called "vehicle inspections" or "loans."
[17:24] Kanna
    I guess power comes at
    a price in every world.
[17:28] Kanna
    Oh, but it would be really easy
    if she had you carry her!
[17:32] Kanna
    Why doesn't Kobayashi do that?
[17:34] T
    Right?
[17:36] Takiya
    Wow, you've got another relative with you?
[17:39] Takiya
    Is she a maid, too?
[17:40] K
    No, a Gothic lolita.
[17:42] K
    A Gothic lolita with a tribal theme.
[17:45] Takiya
    Hmm, interesting tastes.
[17:47] K
    Tohru said she was going to teach her
    some things, but I'm so worried.
[17:48] Man
    First we should run tests using this module.
[17:51] Man
    Mhmm.
[17:51] Takiya
    Tohru-chan seems to have
    her act together, though.
[17:52] Man
    Then merge it with this one,
     and run an integration test.
[17:54] K
    Together?
[17:56] K
    Well, I suppose perhaps she does have a lot
    of compassion for her friends.
[18:00] Student
    For real? That can't be. That's wicked!
[18:03] Student
    For real?
[18:03] Kanna
    What's he saying?
[18:04] Student
    For real?
[18:04] T
    Magic words.
[18:05] Student
    Yeah.
[18:06] Student
    That can't be.
[18:06] T
    You can get through most conversations
    using them, so try to remember them.
[18:07] Student
    That's wicked.
[18:08] Student
    That's wicked.
[18:12] Kanna
    And that?
SIGN    In Trouble.
[18:14] T
    I don't know.
[18:15] T
    A tool children play with?
[18:17] T
    How do they play?
[18:18] T
    It looks like it uses the
    principle of levers, but...
[18:21] T
    That's a training device for catapults!
[18:23] Kanna
    Oh!
[18:25] T
    This is how children learn the means
    of combating monsters in the sky!
[18:29] Kanna
    Oh!
[18:32] Kanna
    And that?
[18:33] T
    A crepe stand.
[18:39] Kanna
    It's sweet, like yatagarasu eggs.
[18:42] Kanna
    And that?
[18:43] T
    An ice cream stand.
[18:48] Kanna
    It's cold. But good!
[18:55] Kanna
    This world is peaceful.
[18:57] T
    Isn't it?
[19:00] Kanna
    Are there dragons in this world?
[19:02] T
    Seems like there aren't.
[19:04] T
    I don't know if they went extinct
    or if they moved elsewhere...
[19:07] Kanna
    Is it wrong to revert to my original form?
[19:08] Guy
    Yes, it's fine, it's fine, it's all right.
[19:10] T
    Well, I wouldn't let your
    form be seen, at least.
[19:11] Guy
    I'll be waiting here.
[19:14] T
    Can you use perception blocking, Kanna?
[19:17] Kanna
    I can't.
[19:18] T
    I see.
[19:20] T
    Well, there's hardly ever
    any need for it anyways.
[19:25] Kanna
    Lady Tohru?
[19:26] T
    Yes?
[19:28] Kanna
    Why did you come to this world?
[19:34] Kanna
    I heard you had died...
[19:38] Kanna
    So I was happy to find you survived.
[19:40] T
    I came to this world to escape.
[19:44] T
    Truth be told, I was on the verge of death,
[19:46] T
    but Miss Kobayashi saved me.
[19:49] Kanna
    Kobayashi did?
[19:51] T
    I decided to repay her by
    being her maid.
[19:54] T
    While letting people think I was dead.
[19:56] T
    I've only told a handful of
    dragons about my survival.
[20:00] T
    Like Miss Lucoa and Mr. Fafnir.
[20:02] Kanna
    You're like a retiree.
[20:06] T
    That might be close.
[20:09] T
    But, Kanna,
[20:16] T
    I'm very happy right now.
[20:19] Kanna
    Yeah.
[20:21] T
    Come on, Kanna, isn't there
    more you'd like to know about?
[20:29] Kanna
    I'd like to see Kobayashi's work.
[20:33] T
    She'll be mad at you.
[20:35] Kanna
    That's fine. I want to see.
[20:38] T
    Let's go say hello, then.
[20:52] T
    I blocked perception of us.
[20:55] Kanna
    Okay.
[21:14] Takiya
    What's wrong?
[21:15] K
    Huh? Oh, nothing.
[21:24] K
    Whatever.
[21:36] T
    It's not practice for catapults?
[21:38] K
    It's not. It's equipment kids play on.
[21:48] Kanna
    This is fun!
[21:50] K
    I see.
[21:51] T
    This is fun, isn't it?!
[21:52] K
    Glad to hear it.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:25] T
    Kanna, supposedly there are
    myriads of gods living here.
[23:29] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, what does "myriads" mean?
[23:31] T
    Apparently gods reside in
    all manner of things here.
[23:34] Kanna
    What? That's scary.
SIGN    Episode 3
SIGN    Start of a New Life! (That Doesn't Go Well, Of Course)
[23:36] T
    You can't let your guard down.
[23:37] Kanna
    Yeah.

E3 - Start of a New Life! (That Doesn't Go Well, Of Course)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] K
    Bathroom...
[00:15] K
    Whoa.
[00:19] K
    Ow!
[00:20] Kanna
    Sorry, Kobayashi.
[00:21] K
    Oh, no, it's all right.
[00:26] K
    Beer, beer.
[00:28] T
    Oh, pardon me.
[00:30] Kanna
    Juice.
[00:31] T
    Kanna, it's cramped!
[00:32] K
    It's getting cramped here.
[00:33] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, move!
SIGN    A three bedroom apartment, right?
[02:10] K
    Yes. As close to this
    area as possible please.
[02:14] R
    How's this?
[02:15] K
    Hmm...
[02:17] R
    How's this?
[02:18] K
    Hmm...
[02:19] R
    How's this?
[02:21] K
    Hmm...
[02:22] K
    Frankly, there's not much
    difference between them.
[02:25] R
    By the way, the roof of this
    property is a communal space.
[02:29] K
    Oh?
[02:33] Both
    The sky's so vast!
[02:35] Kanna
    It feels nice!
[02:37] R
    How is it?
[02:41] K
    We'll take this one.
[02:46] K
    Well, time to start moving preparations.
[02:48] K
    First, we clean up.
[02:50] Both
    Yeah!
[02:51] T
    Cleaning, cleaning, la la la.
[02:55] T
    Beat the dust and crush it.
[02:58] K
    Weird song.
[02:58] T
    Leave no dust or trash behind.
[03:01] T
    Death to the world,
[03:04] T
    now clean, clean everything.
[03:06] K
    That sounds too dangerous!
[03:11] K
    Hey, Tohru, do you like being clean?
[03:13] T
    I suppose so. I like bathing
    and brushing my teeth.
[03:17] K
    Brushing your teeth? Do you have
    a dragon-sized toothbrush?
[03:21] T
    No, I use my claws to scrape out the bugs.
[03:24] K
    Bugs?! Not bacteria?!
[03:26] T
    Well, they're so small I never notice them.
[03:29] K
    Must be hard having a huge body.
[03:31] T
    Yes. I went through a lot of trouble
    searching for places to live.
[03:34] K
    Ah, figures. What kind
    of places did you choose?
[03:37] T
    Sometimes caves,
[03:39] T
    sometimes ruins,
[03:40] T
    sometimes mountains.
[03:42] T
    I've even slept up in the sky a few times.
[03:44] K
    Are you a migratory bird?!
[03:46] K
    Still, I guess you could
    live anywhere in that case.
[03:49] T
    Well, actually...
[03:51] T
    Whenever I stayed in one place too long
    humans would soon start coming around.
[03:55] T
    They were so annoying.
[03:56] K
    You were like a rare monster.
[03:58] T
    So not only did my body keep getting dirty,
    I had a hard time bathing at all.
[04:03] K
    Hmm.
[04:04] T
    When we had no other choice,
    we'd lick each other clean.
[04:07] K
    Huh?!
[04:08] T
    Kanna and I did that before.
[04:10] K
    That's naughty by human standards!
SIGN    They were actually in dragon form
[04:12] T
    Maybe so.
[04:14] T
    Well, most other dragons
    don't even care about it.
[04:17] T
    We don't get sick or unhealthy either way.
[04:19] K
    Wow, I'm kind of jealous.
[04:22] T
    To be honest,
[04:23] T
    Miss Kobayashi, you're sloppy.
[04:26] T
    You leave beer cans scattered about,
[04:28] T
    you leave your clothes lying
    where you took them off...
[04:31] K
    Wh-What does it matter?
[04:32] K
    That's one of the nice
    things about living alone.
[04:34] T
    Also, you keep books arranged out of order.
[04:37] K
    Now that's just being too picky!
[04:40] T
    Ahem.
[04:41] T
    Understood. I'll overlook the books.
[04:43] T
    But please clean up your trash and clothes.
[04:46] K
    This is my home.
[04:47] T
    You can't. Because Kanna
    will pick up those habits.
[04:50] K
    Fine.
[04:52] K
    My father must have felt this way*
    when my mother yelled at him.
[04:58] K
    Still, Tohru,
[05:00] K
    I keep doing that by accident because I'm
    happy you're here to clean it up for me.
[05:04] T
    Huh?!
[05:05] K
    It's a piece of a cake for
    a mighty dragon, after all.
[05:09] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[05:11] K
    So please keep helping out, okay, Tohru?
[05:17] T
    Yes! With pleasure!
[05:19] K
    Simple-gon.
[05:20] Kanna
    Scoundrel Kobayashi.
[05:24] K
    Well, next up's packing.
[05:26] K
    Though, nearly all of it is
    my personal belongings.
[05:29] K
    Sorry for making you help out.
[05:31] T
    No, please ask anything of me!
[05:34] Kanna
    I'll do my best, too.
[05:46] T
    Hey, Kanna. Pack properly...
[05:48] T
    Miss Kobayashi, so cute!
[05:51] T
    These dead-fish eyes are to die for!
[05:54] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, you're a pervert.
[05:55] K
    What are you slacking off over?
[06:01] K
    Oh, this was still here?
[06:06] T
    Miss Kobayashi.
[06:08] K
    Whoa, sorry!
[06:20] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[06:22] T
    Is this yours, Miss Kobayashi?
[06:25] K
    It is, but...
[06:26] T
    Please try it on!
[06:28] T
    I want to see you in a maid outfit!
[06:30] K
    I won't.
[06:31] T
    Huh? But you bought it
    intending to wear it, right?
[06:34] K
    I got my arms into it and then
    despaired at how bad I looked in it.
[06:38] K
    So I'm not wearing it again.
[06:43] T
    Then would you mind if I wear it?
[06:46] K
    Go ahead.
[06:46] T
    Thank you very much!
[06:49] T
    Sorry for the wait.
[06:56] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, so pretty!
[06:58] K
    Yeah, I think it looks good.
[07:02] T
    Thank you very much.
[07:06] T
    Still, your clothes are bit
    too tight in the chest for me.
[07:10] K
    That said...
[07:12] K
    Are you really a D?
[07:15] T
    I'm a D among dragons.
[07:19] K
    Ah, so good!
[07:22] T
    Good work, everyone.
[07:24] K
    Yeah, thanks, you two.
[07:26] K
    Bath, bath...
[07:29] K
    Hmm?
[07:32] K
    Does anyone know what happened to the towels
    and change of clothes in the bathroom?
[07:35] T
    I put them away properly!
[07:37] K
    Huh?
[07:38] T
    Huh?
[07:41] K
    Which box has the clothes and towels?
[07:46] Movers
    Good morning!
[07:48] Movers
    Sansan Moving Service!
[07:50] K
    Yes, welcome.
[07:54] Kanna
    So this is a car?
[08:06] Kanna
    Well, let's decide how to use the rooms.
[08:09] Kanna
    This will be the living room.
[08:11] Kanna
    This will be for the PC and books.
[08:13] Kanna
    This will be my bedroom.
[08:16] Kanna
    And this...
[08:19] Kanna
    will be the room you two share.
[08:21] B
    Huh?
[08:22] T
    Our room?
[08:24] K
    Yeah. You two can use it however you like.
[08:28] T
    Yay!
[08:46] K
    A new life, huh?
[08:50] T
    Shall I wash your back?
[08:52] K
    Huh? No, it's fine.
[08:54] T
    You like it when I make things clean, right?
[08:57] K
    Ugh, that's your angle?
[09:00] K
    All right, come on.
[09:02] T
    Yes.
[09:09] K
    By the way.
[09:10] T
    Yes?
[09:11] K
    Isn't it easier to wash
    your body in that form?
[09:16] T
    Well, it is, but it's a little limited.
[09:19] T
    Besides, there are a lot of
    rules in this world.
[09:24] T
    It's all a little stifling to me.
[09:27] K
    You don't like having a human form?
[09:32] T
    No!
[09:36] T
    This is its own thing.
[09:40] K
    I see.
[09:46] Kanna
    I'm coming in, too.
[09:48] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, wash me!
[09:50] T
    Oh well, fine.
[09:51] K
    Cramped, it's cramped.
[10:16] T
    Here I go!
[10:23] K
    Morning, Tohru.
[10:24] T
    Good morning, Miss Kobayashi.
[10:31] K
    Tohru.
[10:32] T
    Yes?
[10:33] K
    I'll wash your body as thanks for yesterday.
[10:35] T
    Huh?!
[10:36] K
    Over here, over here.
[10:37] T
    Y-Yes!
[10:45] T
    Ah, feels so good!
[10:48] K
    Feels like I'm washing a car.
[10:51] T
    Thank you so much, Miss Kobayashi!
[10:56] K
    You're welcome.
[11:14] K
    Ah!
[11:14] K
    This is my old apartment!
[11:17] K
    Damn it, I screwed up!
SIGN    Episode 3
SIGN    Start of a New Life! (That Doesn't Go Well, Of Course)
[11:42] K
    Tohru, you're too loud!
[11:44] T
    Huh?
[11:45] K
    Huh?
[11:49] T
    Do you see me as a loud person?
[11:52] K
    Sorry, sorry.
[11:53] Kanna
    Kobayashi, does your hangover hurt?
[11:56] K
    Yeah.
[11:57] K
    Still, I can't believe it's
    like this on my day off.
[12:01] T
    The noise is coming from the neighboring
    apartments and the floor above us.
[12:04] T
    Shall I go make a complaint?
[12:06] K
    Yeah, could you, please?
[12:10] K
    Make sure not to let your horns stick out.
[12:12] T
    Roger that!
[12:14] T
    If they won't listen after I speak to them,
    I'll murder, destroy, and pulverize them.
[12:17] K
    You don't have to do that.
SIGN    Sasakibe
[12:18] T
    I'll start with Ms. Sasakibe on our right.
[12:22] S
    Coming.
[12:24] S
    Hello.
[12:25] S
    Oh, you're from next door.
[12:27] T
    I'm Tohru. Hello.
[12:29] S
    Hello. Did you need something?
[12:32] T
    Well, we heard loud noises and they've
    been bothering us, so I came over.
[12:36] S
    My, was it that loud?
[12:38] T
    What were you doing?
[12:40] S
    Cooking.
[12:41] T
    Huh?
[12:41] S
    Hold on a moment.
[12:48] S
    Here, let me share some.
[12:50] S
    They're stewed rapeseed blossoms.
[12:52] T
    Thank you very much.
[12:54] T
    My apologies, but could you please
    be more mindful of the noise?
[12:57] S
    Sure.
[13:01] T
    How does she make that
    much noise making this?
SIGN    Yana
[13:04] T
    Next is Mr. Yana on the left.
[13:06] Y
    I'm playing music.
[13:08] T
    Music?
[13:09] Y
    Yeah, want to listen?
SIGN    Rar
[13:16] T
    Your voice sounds like Hades
    is crushing Hercules.
[13:20] Y
    What a phrase! I'm taking it!
[13:23] T
    Anyways, please try to keep the volume down.
[13:26] Y
    Sure.
SIGN    Soune
[13:28] T
    Last is Mr. Soune on the floor above.
[13:30] S
    I'm using a drill for work.
[13:32] T
    A drill?
[13:34] S
    I'm making hand-carved wooden ornaments.
[13:36] T
    Oh, is it a gorilla?
[13:38] T
    This is well done.
[13:40] T
    Anyway, one of us is
    suffering from a hangover,
[13:44] T
    so please try to keep the noise down.
[13:45] S
    All right.
[13:48] Sasakibe
    You're the loud one!
[13:50] Yana
    You're the loud one!
[13:51] Soune
    No, you two are being loud!
[13:52] Sasakibe
    The loud one is the one calling people loud!
[13:54] T
    What's gotten into everyone?
[13:57] Sasakibe
    That drilling is too loud!
[13:59] Soune
    That death metal voice is too loud!
[14:00] Yana
    That strange noise is too loud!
[14:02] Sasakibe
    That's cooking!
[14:03] Both
    Huh?!
[14:04] T
    Your voices are being too loud.
[14:07] Three
    Sorry.
[14:09] T
    Humans keep making the same mistakes.
[14:12] T
    They're beyond help.
[14:15] T
    Guess I'll kill them.
[14:16] K
    Um, may I have a word here?
[14:20] K
    What bothers us the most is having others
    be loud when we'd like some quiet.
[14:26] K
    So why don't we organize the times we
    don't want each other making noise,
[14:30] K
    and make a schedule?
[14:34] K
    If there are still times that don't
    work out, then we can use earplugs.
[14:38] T
    Are you all right with that, Miss Kobayashi?
[14:40] T
    They're all creatures that haven't learned
    anything since they evolved from apes.
[14:44] K
    That goes for me, too, you know.
[14:46] K
    Well, anyway, I usually wouldn't
    mind if I weren't hung over.
[14:50] K
    Besides, it's only natural
    to cause some bother
[14:53] K
    to others when people go about their lives.
[14:55] K
    Especially so if they're neighbors.
[14:57] T
    Jeez, you're too kindhearted.
[15:00] K
    Besides,
[15:04] K
    I wouldn't like it if it
    were too quiet either.
[15:12] K
    I'm going to rest a bit.
[15:14] T
    Okay.
[15:34] T
    Am I loud?
[15:38] K
    There are times when I think so.
[15:41] T
    Does it bother you?
[15:45] K
    It's difficult to give a precise
    answer to that question.
[15:51] K
    But...
[15:53] K
    I think a life like this is acceptable, too.
[16:05] K
    I'm sleeping now.
[16:06] T
    Okay. Then I will, too.
[16:16] T
    You're too loud!
SIGN    Everyone, thank you for your hard work. Soon the cherry blossoms will be upon us again this year. So with regards to that, we'd like to follow up on last year and host a flower viewing party for company staff. Please organize a list of those who wish to attend within each team and deliver it to General Manager Furukawa. Please try to attend if possible. The time and location are in the attached file. That is all, thank you. General Manager Furukawa
[16:49] K
    What should I do about this?
[16:51] K
    I don't like the consideration that
    has to be shown when rank's dropped,
[16:54] K
    and not being able to order certain liquor.
[16:56] Takiya
    Straight to the point, huh?
[16:59] Takiya
    Well, then why not create
    an excuse to refuse?
[17:01] K
    An excuse?
[17:04] T
    A party?
[17:05] K
    Yeah. I was talking to Takiya-kun
    about gathering here at this apartment
[17:09] K
    as an excuse to turn down my
    company's flower viewing.
[17:11] T
    Huh? You're inviting him here?
[17:13] K
    Come on, don't make that
    face now. He's a nice guy.
[17:17] T
    Hmm, all right. I'll put up with that then.
[17:21] K
    Put up with it?
[17:22] T
    In return, can I call
    some of my friends, too?
[17:25] L
    Friends? Like from the shopping district?
[17:28] T
    No, dragons.
[17:29] K
    Huh?
[17:29] T
    Don't worry.
[17:31] T
    They're all well-behaved dragons.
[17:33] K
    Hmm, I'm only worried.
[17:35] K
    I'm home.
[17:37] Both
    Welcome home!
[17:38] Takiya
    Pardon me.
[17:40] T
    Welcome, come on in.
[17:42] Takiya
    I'm not welcome at all, am I?
[17:44] Takiya
    You must be Kanna-chan. Good evening.
[17:47] Kanna
    Good evening.
[17:48] Takiya
    Nice goth-loli.
[17:51] K
    Where are your friends?
[17:53] T
    They should be here soon.
[17:56] T
    Yes?
[17:59] T
    Please wait one moment.
[18:02] T
    Mr. Fafnir, please arrange yourself
    like in the picture I sent over!
[18:06] Fafnir
    Good grief.
[18:13] Fafnir
    This world is full of trouble.
SIGN    Fafnir
[18:17] F
    Makes me want to end it.
SIGN    Hostility
[18:20] T
    Miss Kobayashi, this is Mr. Fafnir.
[18:22] K
    Hello.
[18:23] K
    Nice to meet you.
SIGN    It's a pleasure to meet you. It's an honor to make your acquaintance. I'm honored. Your friend has been very kind to me.
[18:24] K
    I'm Kobayashi from Jigokumeguri
    System Engineering.
[18:25] Taki
    That's a polite social greeting.
[18:28] Kanna
    Polite social greeting?
[18:28] K
    I've been living with Tohru-san.
[18:29] Taki
    A magic set of words that allows
    even shy people to greet others.
[18:31] K
    I hope we can get along well in the future.
[18:34] K
    Tohru!
[18:35] K
    I got a really hostile
    feeling from him just now!
[18:37] T
    Well, he may have a slight
    dislike for humans.
[18:41] T
    He's a cursed dragon who's been guarding his
    treasure in a cave since ancient times.
[18:45] K
    He's a shut-in?!
[18:48] K
    You invited more?
[18:49] T
    This is the last.
SIGN    Unacceptable
[18:52] Lucoa
    Oh, Tohru!
[18:54] T
    Hello, it's been a long time.
[18:56] T
    Miss Kobayashi, this is Miss Quetzalcoatl.
SIGN    Quetzalcoatl
[18:59] L
    Nice to meet you. Lucoa is fine.
[19:02] K
    Why are all dragons so huge?
[19:05] T
    Huh?
[19:06] K
    Never mind.
[19:07] K
    Nice to meet you. I'm Kobayashi.
[19:11] L
    Something wrong?
[19:12] K
    Um, did you walk here in that outfit?
[19:16] L
    I did.
[19:17] K
    Your outfit is kind of slutty, though.
[19:19] L
    Wha?!
[19:37] Taki
    Care to try?
[19:41] Taki
    Once you cut into them, back away.
[19:43] Taki
    Yeah, like that.
[19:44] Taki
    Oh, you can't run in while
    he's doing that move.
[19:48] Taki
    Try again.
[19:49] Taki
    Uh-huh.
[19:50] Taki
    Good job defeating him.
[19:51] Taki
    Now, ignore that treasure chest...
[19:56] Taki
    That was a mimic.
[19:58] Taki
    Ah, you died.
[20:01] K
    He's hooked.
[20:06] L
    Tohru hardly ever used to smile.
[20:10] L
    Must be thanks to you.
[20:12] K
    I'm just a normal human being.
[20:14] L
    That girl's never had
    anything normal before.
[20:18] L
    Not just her, but her friends as well.
[20:22] K
    Lucoa-san,
[20:24] K
    I'm grateful to Tohru, too.
[20:28] K
    I didn't use to smile much myself either.
[20:31] K
    Though I'll never say it to her.
[20:35] T
    Food's ready!
[20:36] K
    Yes.
[20:38] K
    Well, let's eat then.
[20:39] K
    Can you drink?
[20:41] L
    Drink?
[20:42] L
    I can, but at least let me check
    it for curses first.
[20:46] K
    Curses?
[20:46] T
    Long ago Ms. Lucoa was driven out of
    her seat as a goddess thanks to liquor.
[20:51] T
    She was forced to drink liquor
    her comrade had cursed,
[20:53] T
    and in her drunken stupor she
    went to her little sister and—
[20:57] L
    Don't say it!
[20:59] K
    Dragons don't have very
    good pasts, do they?
[21:02] K
    Like I said!
[21:04] K
    When it comes to butlers,
    I fancy middle-aged ones!
[21:06] K
    This is out of the question!
[21:07] Fafnir
    Stop it! You'll make me screw up!
[21:09] Taki
    No, no, lately young, handsome,
[21:12] Taki
    but devilish butlers have been pretty
    good in their own way!
[21:13] Fafnir
    I said stop it!
[21:14] K
    Not having that wisdom of life aura
    means they're out! Got it!
[21:15] L
    She's a completely different
    person when drunk, isn't she?
[21:17] T
    Yes.
[21:19] K
    Hey, you woman there! Become a maid!
[21:21] L
    Huh?
[21:23] K
    Tohru, you, too!
[21:24] T
    I already am one, though?
[21:26] K
    I've told you before, that's just cosplay!
[21:29] K
    If you've got complaints, then strip!
[21:31] K
    Besides, what's with all of
    you and your absurd chests?!
[21:31] T
    Huh?!
[21:32] Taki
    Fafnir-dono! We must avert our eyes!
[21:34] K
    Why don't you share some with me?!
[21:35] F
    Stop it! I can't see!
[21:36] T
    But that's impossible.
[21:38] T
    Wha?!
[21:38] K
    If you can't, then strip!
[21:49] K
    Hmm, yeah, some people
    move their bodies to it.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:25] Taki
    Fafnir-dono, ignore that treasure chest.
[23:29] Taki
    That's a mimic.
[23:31] Taki
    Ah, that chest is also—
[23:33] Taki
    That was a mimic, too.
[23:34] Taki
    Why do you reflexively
    go after all the chests?
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    Kanna Goes to School! (Not That She Needs To)
[23:37] F
    It's my nature.

E4 - Kanna Goes to School! (Not that she needs to.)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] K
    She's been gazing at them a lot lately,
[00:20] K
    but do you think she might want to go?
[00:22] T
    Who, Kanna? I think so.
[00:25] T
    Every dragon's had those
    thoughts at some point.
[00:30] T
    How young, how young.
[00:31] K
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[00:33] T
    A journey to eliminate humanity, right?
[00:35] K
    No, I'm talking about school.
[00:39] T
    Oh, school.
[00:41] T
    I see that come up on the Internet often.
[00:44] K
    The Internet? You've gotten used to it, huh.
[00:54] K
    Kanna-chan.
[00:57] Kanna
    What, Kobayashi?
[01:00] K
    Oh, well...
[01:03] K
    Want to go to school?
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
[02:39] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[02:40] Kanna
    Hurry! Hurry!
[02:42] T
    Hey, Kanna, don't make
    trouble for Miss Kobayashi!
[02:46] K
    You need all this just to go to school?
SIGN    Textbooks and storage boxes will be provided on the first day. Pencil case | Pencils | Erasers Crayons (16 colors) | Colored pencils (12 colors) Scissors | Glue | Pencil board Ruler | Unruled notebooks Indoor slippers | Slipper case | Gym clothes Gym cap | Gym clothes case Handkerchief | Safety buzzer
[02:50] T
    You said it.
[02:52] T
    I sense some collusion between
    schools and the manufacturers.
[02:56] T
    It's a conspiracy.
[02:57] K
    I don't think that's true.
[03:00] T
    The Internet said it is!
[03:02] K
    It's a bad influence on dragons, too, huh...
SIGN    Shop at your local shopping district! Save with your point card!
[03:05] K
    Well, let's pick up
     all the stationery first.
SIGN    Noyama Stationery
[03:10] Granny
    Welcome!
[03:12] K
    Yeah, this is it.
[03:14] K
    I see stationery stores haven't
    changed at all since long ago.
[03:18] K
    What's that look for?!
[03:20] Kanna
    They're not cute.
[03:21] K
    Huh?!
[03:22] T
    Jeez, you don't get it, Miss Kobayashi.
[03:26] T
    Leave it to me!
[03:29] K
    What's this place?
[03:31] K
    The feathers plucked from live birds
    around this season make good pens!
[03:35] K
    Scary! Scary!
[03:38] K
    Seems like this is wrong, too.
[03:40] T
    That's strange.
[03:41] T
    When I was in the other world
    everyone used quill pens.
[03:45] Kanna
    I want a cute one. A cute one.
[03:49] K
    So she says.
[03:52] T
    Oh, I heard a new store opened
    outside the shopping district recently.
[04:03] K
    What is this?
[04:04] K
    Everything's sparkling in my eyes.
[04:06] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[04:08] Kanna
    What's this?
[04:09] Kanna
    How do you use it?
SIGN    Kanna
[04:11] K
    You use this to write characters.
[04:14] K
    You'll be using a pencil though, Kanna-chan.
[04:16] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[04:17] T
    How's this?!
SIGN    I <3 Miss Kobayashi I <3 Miss Kobayashi I <3 Miss Kobayashi I <3 Miss Kobayashi
[04:19] K
    Scary!
[04:20] Kanna
    Hey, Kobayashi,
[04:22] Kanna
    what's this thing that looks
    like a dragon's mouth?
[04:25] K
    You use it like this.
[04:29] T
    What a torture device.
[04:31] K
    How did you jump to that?
[04:32] Kanna
    Then what about this?
[04:33] T
    That's a tool for branding slaves.
[04:37] T
    You use it to mark your property.
[04:41] T
    Come on, Miss Kobayashi! Brand me as yours!
[04:44] K
    No.
SIGN    Popular! Unicorn Pencil Box
[04:48] Kanna
    Look, Lady Tohru, a unicorn.
[04:53] T
    I think that unicorn would
    be happy knowing this.
[04:57] K
    Part of me wants to ask,
    and part of me doesn't.
SIGN    Miss Kobayashi paid for it after this.
SIGN    Total Cash
SIGN    Total Cash Change
[05:13] Clerk
    Thank you very much!
[05:19] K
    Now we've got most of it.
[05:21] T
    Then on to the next stop!
[05:26] T
    Does it really have to be this place?
[05:29] K
    This is the only place in the
    area that sells backpacks.
[05:33] T
    I understand that,
    but I still don't like it.
[05:36] T
    I can't help but remember...
[05:38] K
    Well, let's go.
[05:39] K
    The two of us.
[05:40] T
    Please wait!
[05:53] K
    Kanna-chan, which one do you like?
[05:56] Kanna
    This.
[05:58] K
    She chose a surprisingly normal one.
[06:01] T
    Figures, Kanna.
[06:03] T
    I can see why you'd choose a cursed
    item that's absorbed human blood.
[06:06] Kanna
    Uh-huh.
[06:08] K
    That's your reason?!
[06:17] Clerk
    That'll be 38,000 yen.
[06:20] K
    It costs that much?
[06:22] T
    Is this all right?
[06:23] K
    Oh, yeah. It's fine.
[06:26] K
    I'm sorry, I'll be paying with card.
[06:28] Clerk
    Sure. Thank you very much.
SIGN    Ohyama Clothing Store
    Student Uniform Specialty Shop
[06:43] Worker
    Welcome!
[06:44] T
    Miss Kobayashi, Kanna's going to pout again
    if we go in another store like this.
[06:49] K
    This is the store designated by the school,
[06:51] K
    so we have no choice.
[06:53] T
    It's collusion.
[06:54] K
    You're persistent about that.
[06:58] K
    Are these the ones designated by the school?
[07:01] T
    They all seem the same.
[07:03] K
    That's fine.
[07:04] K
    Everyone should be wearing the same thing.
[07:07] T
    Why's that?
[07:10] K
    To reduce differences.
[07:12] K
    Men, women, Japanese,
    and foreigners are all the same.
[07:17] K
    That's important.
[07:19] T
    What happens when you're
    different from everyone else?
[07:22] K
    Sometimes you're eliminated.
[07:26] K
    It might not be like that for dragons,
[07:29] K
    but humans don't like things
    different from themselves.
[07:33] T
    That's foolish.
[07:36] K
    Yeah, I agree it is.
[07:38] K
    But everyone's afraid...
[07:41] K
    of things that are different.
[07:51] T
    I kind of understand.
[08:01] K
    Sorry.
[08:02] K
    This wasn't my intent.
[08:04] K
    Thanks for your concern.
[08:18] K
    Kanna-chan, are you looking
    forward to school?
[08:21] Kanna
    Yeah.
[08:31] K
    All right then. Once we get home,
    we prepare for tomorrow!
[08:35] T
    Miss Kobayashi, that's not fair!
[08:37] T
    Please hold my hand, too!
[08:39] K
    Yes, yes.
[08:47] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[08:50] Kanna
    Look, look!
[08:53] K
    You look good!
[08:54] K
    Yeah, cute.
[08:57] Kanna
    Lady Tohru.
[09:00] Kanna
    Look, look.
[09:02] T
    Kanna.
[09:03] T
    Please lend that to me.
[09:06] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[09:08] T
    Please look! What do you think?
[09:12] K
    Too many different themes to tell.
[09:15] T
    Huh?!
[09:18] T
    In the end, she wore that
    backpack all day long.
[09:21] T
    She must really be looking forward to it.
[09:24] K
    Is it something to go that far over?
[09:31] K
    Even though she's a dragon, she's still a child.
[09:37] Kanna
    In the way.
[09:48] L
    What's Kanna-chan doing?
[09:49] T
    She's practicing her writing.
[09:51] K
    Well, think you'll remember them?
SIGN    500,000 loan, no co-signer needed!
SIGN    We'll teach you how to earn money in your sleep! Becoming a billionaire isn't a dream!
SIGN    Bring in business and good fortune!! Increase your fortune just by learning these tips! Guaranteed results or your money back!
SIGN    How to score a boyfriend! Recommended for friends, family, and coworkers!
SIGN    No co-signer needed Same-day financing Earn Fortune Money Boyfriend Cosigner Repay
[10:07] K
    Let's forget all this for now.
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    Kanna Goes to School! (Not That She Needs To)
[10:16] Classmate
    Good morning!
SIGN    Oborozuka Elementary
[10:18] Steps
    Give a
    bright smile
     every day
[10:19] Teacher
    Yes, good morning.
[10:21] Teacher
    Today we have a new friend to
    introduce to everyone here.
[10:26] Teacher
    This is Kobayashi Kanna-chan.
[10:28] K
    Kobayashi Kanna.
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
[10:32] Shima
    Cute!
[10:33] Toudou
    Where'd you come from?
[10:35] Kanna
    Ushishir Island.
[10:36] Daitani
    From abroad?! Wow!
[10:39] T
    It looks like her introduction went well.
[10:42] K
    Watch over Kanna-chan, okay?
[10:46] T
    Leave it to me, Miss Kobayashi!
[10:49] T
    Yes. Now, for this problem,
[10:51] T
    can you solve it, Kobayashi-san?
[10:54] T
    What a boring problem.
[10:57] T
    Kanna wanted to do things like that?
[11:00] T
    Yes, that's correct.
[11:06] T
    Such an inefficient way to learn.
[11:09] T
    Putting them in different classes based on their*
    abilities would help them grow faster.
SIGN    Cram School Approach
[11:19] T
    It seems to be some game of
    hitting each other with a ball.
[11:23] T
    A fitting game for barbaric humans.
[11:36] Teacher
    Yes, that's it!
[11:38] T
    No mercy, huh?
[11:40] T
    Kobayashi-san, you're incredible!
[11:42] Muroi
    You can do anything, can't you?
[11:44] Ta
    Can I call you Kanna-chan?
[11:48] Moto
    Oh, can I call you that, too?
[11:53] (Flashback) K
    But everyone's afraid...
[11:55] (Flashback) K
    of things that are different.
[11:58] T
    But they do take clear steps to
    ally themselves with the strong.
[12:02] T
    Even young, they're still human, huh?
[12:05] Classmates
    Farewell, Sensei!
SIGN    Dream
[12:08] Teacher
    Yes, farewell!
[12:10] Saikawa
    Hey, Kobayashi Kanna-san!
[12:14] Saikawa
    Don't you think you've been
    standing out too much?
SIGN    Saikawa Riko
[12:17] Daitani
    It's Saikawa, the one who acts like a queen!
[12:19] S
    Thanks for the clear explanation.
[12:21] S
    But no! Shut up!
[12:23] Kanna
    I stood out?
[12:25] S
    You did! You're so cute, it ticks
    me off and I want to hug you!
SIGN    Wants to hug me, stood out, transfer student, cute and talented, too cute, eliminated
SIGN    "That's wicked"
[12:34] S
    I challenge you, Kobayashi Kanna-san!
[12:36] S
    I'll prove I'm better than you!
[12:38] Toudou
    Kanna-chan, don't do it.
[12:41] Toudou
    Saikawa-san plays dirty and cheats,
[12:43] Toudou
    and she's a hopeless person
    who won't admit defeat!
[12:46] S
    Hey, you, be quiet!
[12:47] S
    Now, care to try arm wrestling me?
[12:50] S
    Despite how I look,
    I've won at karate tournaments...
[12:56] Kanna
    I'd like to be friends.
[13:01] S
    I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!
[13:04] S
    I-I, um, I wanted to be
    friends with you, too!
[13:08] S
    Oh, shoot, what do I do?!
[13:08] Classmates
    She's too blundering.
[13:10] S
    Don't cry.
[13:12] S
    Here, I'll give you some candy.
[13:13] Daitani
    Ah! You can't bring that to school.
[13:16] S
    Be quiet!
[13:21] T
    Still, fake crying? What a roundabout
    way to settle things, Kanna.
[13:26] T
    I would've just blasted them away.
[13:29] Kanna
    Yeah.
[13:31] T
    Why did you decide you
    wanted to go to school?
[13:34] Kanna
    Because it was fun watching them.
[13:37] T
    Was it fun?
[13:39] Kanna
    Yeah.
[13:40] T
    I think there will be some
    aspects that aren't fun, as well.
[13:43] Kanna
    Yeah.
[13:44] T
    There's no real need for us
    to be the same as humans.
[13:48] T
    Living among them doesn't
    mean living with them.
[13:53] Kanna
    But they're close by,
    and we share time together, so...
[13:59] Kanna
    Maybe that's why I want to be with them.
[14:04] T
    Be with them...
[14:06] T
    I've seen plenty of my comrades
[14:08] T
    destroy themselves,
    unable to be satisfied with that.
[14:13] T
    But, well...
[14:14] T
    For now, I'll affirm that choice, too.
[14:22] K
    How was school?
[14:24] Kanna
    Fun.
[14:25] K
    Good to hear.
[14:27] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[14:28] T
    I fulfilled my mission, too.
[14:29] T
    Please praise me.
[14:31] K
    Yeah, thanks.
[14:33] K
    Oh, right.
[14:34] K
    Here you go.
[14:42] Kanna
    This is...
[14:43] K
    Congratulations on entering school.
[14:45] K
    You can hang it on your backpack.
[14:53] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[14:55] T
    What about me?
[14:56] T
    Hey, Miss Kobayashi, what about me?
[14:58] K
    Here.
[14:59] T
    Yay!
[15:01] K
    Simple-gon.
[15:12] T
    What are you doing?
[15:14] Kanna
    Putting on name tags.
[15:16] Kanna
    They said to put them on my things.
[15:20] TV
    This is today's special product!
SIGN    Tohru
[15:22] T
    There we go!
[15:22] TV
    A drill perfect for woodwork!
SIGN    Why?
[15:28] Kobayashi
    Why?
SIGN    How
[15:32] Kobayashi
    How...
[15:41] K
    did things get like this?
[15:44] K
    The story starts one day ago.
[15:49] Lucoa
    So good!
[15:51] Lucoa
    Thanks.
[15:52] T
    You're welcome.
[15:54] L
    Sorry I keep dropping by all the time.
[15:56] K
    You're checking up on Tohru, right?
[15:59] L
    Oh, you knew?
[16:00] K
    Well, he's here, too.
[16:04] Fafnir
    I'm bored with this already.
[16:05] Fafnir
    I'm going to play some other game.
[16:08] K
    To be honest, you're here to
    check on Tohru, too, right?
[16:13] Kanna
    I'm home.
[16:14] K
    Oh, welcome home, Kanna-chan.
[16:20] K
    What's happened?
[16:21] Kanna
    A duel.
[16:22] K
    A duel?!
[16:25] T
    I'll aid you!
[16:27] Fafnir
    I'll kill them.
[16:28] K
    Wait, wait, you delinquents!
[16:30] Kanna
    Today, on the way home...
[16:37] (Flashback) S
    Kanna-san.
[16:38] (Flashback) S
    I'm going home with you today,
    so consider it an honor.
[16:42] (Flashback) Kanna
    Yeah. You're kind, Saikawa.
[16:45] (Flashback) Kanna
    I like you.
[16:46] (Flashback) Kanna
    I like you.
[16:50] (Flashback) S
    Today I'll show you a good place to play!
[16:53] (Flashback) Kanna
    Okay.
[16:58] (Flashback) S
    Well?
[16:59] (Flashback) S
    Despite how big this place is,
    it's a hidden spot people rarely come to.
[17:03] (Flashback) Kanna
    That's the thing you fly with!
[17:06] (Flashback) S
    F-Fly?
[17:07] (Flashback) Kanna
    Yeah, in the clouds.
[17:09] (Flashback) S
    W-Well, let's play on the seesaw together!
[17:15] (Flashback) Middle
    Sorry, sorry.
[17:16] (Flashback) S
    Hey, watch it, you guys!
[17:18] (Flashback) Middle
    What? You're frightened by
    a ball coming your way?
[17:21] (Flashback) Middle
    Stop that.
[17:23] (Flashback) Middle
    Sorry, we were playing dodgeball.
[17:25] (Flashback) S
    L-Little children come here often, too,
     so you should stop that.
[17:30] (Flashback) Middle
    There's nowhere else.
[17:31] (Flashback) Middle
    Whatever, we're taking over this place.
[17:33] (Flashback) Middle
    Go on home, squirts.
[17:36] (Flashback) Middle
    I told you to stop that.
[17:38] (Flashback) S
    I challenge you.
[17:39] (Flashback) Middle
    What?
[17:39] (Flashback) S
    I challenge you to dodgeball tomorrow!
[17:42] (Flashback) S
    If you lose, then give
    up on using this place!
[17:48] (Flashback) Middle
    You hear that?
[17:48] (Flashback) Middle
    S-She's going to play with us!
[17:51] (Flashback) Middle
    Sorry. We don't have time to play with you.
[17:54] (Flashback) S
    My, running away?
[17:56] (Flashback) S
    Are you afraid I'll
    discipline you all myself?
[18:00] (Flashback) S
    You American gorilla!
[18:02] (Flashback) Middle
    Wh-What'd you say?!
[18:03] (Flashback) Middle
    Don't listen to her.
[18:05] (Flashback) S
    You there, black-haired mama's boy!
[18:06] (Flashback) Middle
    Huh?
[18:07] (Flashback) S
    You're actually scared without your
    beloved mama around, aren't you?
[18:11] (Flashback) S
    You should say so.
[18:13] (Flashback) S
    "Mama, help me!"
[18:15] (Flashback) Middle
    You brat!
[18:17] (Flashback) S
    Oh?
[18:18] (Flashback) S
    I thought you weren't going
    to take a child seriously?
[18:22] (Flashback) S
    Children.
[18:24] (Flashback) Middle
    Bring it on! We'll face you!
[18:26] (Flashback) Middle
    You better get ready to lose!
[18:32] (Flashback) S
    What do I do?
[18:35] K
    So you picked a fight
    and they bought it, huh?
[18:39] K
    So, did you gather enough people?
[18:41] Kanna
    We couldn't.
[18:42] Kanna
    Saikawa's not popular.
[18:44] S
    Sorry about that!
[18:45] K
    Well, what to do, then?
[18:47] K
    I think you can still negotiate with them.
[18:49] T
    No, I assure you, they should fight!
[18:52] T
    We can't have them taking us
    noble, proud dragons lightly!
[18:56] K
    Do you know the rules?
[18:57] T
    Yes!
[18:59] Fafnir
    I know them, too.
[19:00] Fafnir
    I've played a lot of Explosive Dodgeball.
SIGN    Explosive Dodgeball
[19:02] K
    This isn't that kind of game.
[19:04] T
    All right, let's do this!
[19:07] L
    Don't worry, it'll work out.
[19:10] K
    Hmm...
SIGN    - The Following Day -
[19:16] Middle
    What's this, squirt?!
[19:17] Middle
    You called in friends?
[19:19] Middle
    We won't go easy on you.
[19:26] K
    Tohru.
[19:28] K
    Don't kill them.
[19:30] T
    Yes!
[19:31] K
    I could see how it would
    end when it started.
[19:34] K
    From the beginning their abilities... well,
    their species... were on different levels.
[19:37] L
    Sorry!
[19:40] K
    The game was beyond one-sided.
[19:45] K
    They destroyed them.
[19:47] Middle
    Damn it!
[19:49] Middle
    That's not fair, jerk! You'll regret this!
[19:52] K
    He's beat up...
[19:53] S
    Kanna-san, your friends are incredible!
[19:56] Kanna
    Yeah, they're the worst scum ever.
[19:58] K
    That phrasing may be accurate,
    but it's cruel.
[20:02] T
    I still haven't had enough.
[20:04] Fafnir
    Oh? What a coincidence. Me neither.
[20:07] L
    Me neither.
[20:08] T
    That reminds me...
[20:10] T
    I've yet to win against you two, haven't I?
[20:15] Fafnir
    Are you going to surpass us today?
[20:16] L
    Bring it on.
[20:18] K
    Huh? Isn't this turning bad?
[20:20] Kanna
    Me, too.
[20:22] K
    From that point on,
[20:25] K
    the playground became a battlefield.
[20:43] K
    There're even more dragons.
[20:48] K
    Where did my peaceful, daily life run off to?
[20:52] K
    Well, whatever.
[20:58] K
    And that brings us to now.
[21:02] L
    Oh, I'll restore the playground to normal.
[21:05] L
    I'll tweak the memories
    of those who saw us, too.
[21:07] K
    You're useful to have around.
SIGN    - Several Days Later -
[21:11] K
    After that, they took to
    playing dodgeball regularly.
[21:15] T
    Pay more attention to your lower back!
[21:17] Fafnir
    Oh, like this?
[21:18] T
    More like you're an old lady
    about to be abandoned!
[21:22] K
    That's at my standards.
[21:28] Shima
    Kanna-chan, look, look.
[21:29] Shima
    Isn't this cute?
[21:31] Kanna
    Oh, that's wicked.
[21:33] Toudou
    Hey, Kobayashi, this is super interesting.
[21:37] Kanna
    Oh, that's wicked.
[21:39] Saikawa
    Hey, Kanna-san.
[21:41] Kanna
    Saikawa, you're wicked.
[21:43] Teacher
    Okay, time to start class.
[21:46] All
    That's wicked!
[21:51] Teacher
    What is this? It's wicked!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] S
    Kanna-san, aren't you glad
    we won the dodgeball game?
[23:29] Kanna
    Yeah.
[23:30] S
    We nearly lost our ability
    to play at the playground.
[23:32] Kanna
    That's okay.
[23:34] Kanna
    I'll be happy anywhere
     if I'm with you, Saikawa.
SIGN    Episode 5
SIGN    Tohru's Real World Lessons! (She Thinks She Understands It Already)

E5 - Tohru's Real World Lessons! (She thinks she understands it already.)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Tohru
    Miss Kobayashi! Kanna! Breakfast is ready!
[00:08] K
    This miso soup is good.
[00:10] T
    Thank you. I made it using only
    ingredients from this world, too.
[00:18] Both
    We're off!
[00:19] T
    Yes, watch out for cars!
[00:25] T
    Kanna, make you sure you don't
    destroy them if you run into one.
[00:27] ---
    Yup.
[00:32] T
    Yes! This morning I wasn't chastised
    by Miss Kobayashi for any mistakes.
[00:36] T
    It was a perfect morning.
[00:41] T
    I must be improving my skills as maid.
[00:45] T
    Perhaps that means I'm getting
    used to this world, too?
[02:25] Staff
    You've been happier lately,
    haven't you, Kobayashi-san?
[02:29] K
    Huh? Have I?
[02:30] Staff
    You used to be a bit more stoic before.
[02:34] Staff
    It's like you've become a little more open.
[02:39] ---
    See you later.
[02:44] K
    I guess it's been two months
    since she showed up, huh?
[02:51] K
    What was I like back then?
[02:58] Cook
    The secret is to marinate it in honey.
SIGN    Today's Point
[03:01] Cook
    Then it'll grow softer, and the
    meat will absorb flavor more easily.

[03:01] T
    Maybe Miss Kobayashi will eat my tail
    meat if I prepare it like that.
[03:06] Reporter
    What modern girls want
    their lover to do most!

SIGN    2) Pet their head
    3) Hold their hand in public
     4) Carry like a princess
     5) Hug them from behind
[03:09] Reporter
    First place is...
SIGN    2) Head petted
    3) Holding hands in public
SIGN    1) Push them against a wall
[03:11] Reporter
    being pushed against a wall!
[03:15] Reporter
    I'd love to experience
    it myself at least once!

[03:16] T
    Hmm, so they pursue love with sounds.
[03:18] T
    Just like birds.
[03:19] Caster
    Me, too!
[03:20] T
    Pursue love...
[03:23] T
    Miss Kobayashi.
[03:25] K
    Tohru.
[03:29] Announcer
    Now for tonight's news.
[03:31] Announcer
    Early this morning, there was a
    fire in Tatsumi-cho, Nishi-ku.

SIGN    Jigokumeguri System Engineering (Inc.)
SIGN    Takinokuchi Office
[03:38] Takiya
    Kobayashi-san.
[03:41] Takiya
    Sorry, but could you help me out here?
[03:44] Kobayashi
    Sure.
[03:46] Kobayashi
    Whoa, you've taken on an awful lot again.
[03:52] T
    I want to see Miss Kobayashi
    working at least once.
[03:59] T
    One of my 48 maid skills:
    perception blocking.
[04:02] T
    Now I can enter without anyone noticing.
SIGN    It's actually magic
[04:09] T
    There she is, there she is.
[04:10] K
    Well, thank you for your time.
[04:13] K
    Goodbye.
[04:18] T
    What's wrong, Kobayashi-san?
[04:21] T
    Takiya?!
[04:22] K
    Well, remember Yamashita-kun's project?
[04:25] K
    There was a mistake in the product,
    and he's in trouble if it's not fixed today.
SIGN    Yamashita-kun
     Out Sick
[04:30] Takiya
    Ah.
SIGN    Sorry.
[04:31] Y
    Sorry.
[04:32] K
    So for now, I'll work on that.
[04:35] K
    It means I won't be able to help you,
    Takiya-kun, but is that okay?
[04:40] Takiya
    It's fine, it's fine.
[04:41] Takiya
    Makes sense anyway.
[04:42] Takiya
    Especially given the circumstances.
[04:45] Takiya
    But...
[04:46] Takiya
    Let's go drinking again.
[04:48] K
    Sure.
[04:51] Staff
    Hey, can you help me here?
[04:53] Staff
    I'll be right there. Wait a moment.
[04:55] Staff
    This schedule's impossible.
[04:58] Staff
    Can't we adjust it somehow?
[05:01] Staff
    We'll have to reevaluate this.
[05:02] T
    Humans may gather together, help each other,
    and accomplish many things,
[05:03] Staff
    Let's check it one more time.
[05:07] T
    but their civilization could be*
    easily destroyed by dragons.
[05:11] T
    So I think dragons are better.
[05:15] Boss
    Kobayashi!
[05:17] Boss
    How's that project coming?!
[05:19] K
    Oh, not done yet.
[05:21] Boss
    What are you doing?! You're useless!
[05:24] Boss
    What did I tell you?
[05:26] Boss
    I told you get it done right away, didn't I?
[05:27] T
    Who's this guy?
[05:28] Boss
    When I say right away, I mean right away!
[05:29] Staff
    Chief's pushing his work
    onto Kobayashi-san again...
[05:30] Boss
    Are you incapable of prioritizing?!
[05:33] Boss
    You need to work to earn your paycheck!
[05:33] Staff
    The chief's project isn't even that vital.
[05:37] Boss
    Listen!
[05:38] Boss
    Quit slacking off and get
    it finished quickly!
[05:41] K
    Understood.
[05:42] Boss
    Hmph! Christ!
[05:50] Staff
    Stop it!
[05:57] T
    Serves him right.
[05:59] T
    That should help Miss Kobayashi—
[06:01] T
    Huh?
[06:04] T
    I thought I was blocking perception?
[06:06] T
    N-No one's found out, right?
[06:28] T
    Miss Kobayashi sure works hard.
[06:31] T
    And so many people rely on her, too.
[06:37] T
    Miss Kobayashi's so cool!
[06:40] Boss
    Kobayashi!
[06:42] Boss
    How's that project going?!
[06:44] Boss
    I haven't received a report on it yet!
[06:45] T
    This guy again?!
[06:47] K
    Oh, sorry. I had a lot of things to do.
[06:50] Boss
    Follow my orders first!
[06:52] K
    Yamashita-kun's work
    is higher on the priority list.
[06:55] Boss
    Don't talk back to me!
[07:02] Boss
    Anyway!
[07:04] Boss
    Show more motivation!
[07:05] K
    Sorry.
[07:07] Boss
    Christ!
[07:08] Boss
    You're useless!
[07:12] ---
    What?
[07:14] Boss
    Wh-Who is it?!
[07:22] Staff
    Chief's having bad luck today, huh?
[07:30] Staff
    Thanks for your work.
SIGN    Jigokumeguri System Engineering (Inc.)
SIGN    Takinokuchi Office
[07:31] Staff
    I'll be leaving now.
[07:32] Staff
    Thanks for your work.
[07:38] T
    Now, I should leave before
    Miss Kobayashi does...
[07:42] K
    Tohru.
[07:45] K
    You're there, right?
[07:47] K
    Whoa, you really were?!
[07:51] T
    How did you know?
[07:52] K
    Huh?
[07:54] K
    I just had a feeling you were.
[07:57] K
    Jeez.
[07:59] K
    I bet it was boring to sneak
    a peek at my work, right?
[08:02] T
    Not at all!
[08:05] T
    I wanted to know more about you.
[08:16] K
    I see.
[08:21] K
    Shall we go home?
[08:24] T
    Yes!
[08:29] Staff
    You've been happier lately,
    haven't you, Kobayashi-san?
[08:36] K
    I wonder what I used to be like?
[08:43] K
    I've already forgotten.
[08:50] Staff
    I heard the chief got
    canned for abusing power.
[08:53] Staff
    Someone sent the director
    a recording of proof.
[08:57] Staff
    Who did that?
[09:02] Teacher
    Okay. Now everyone pair up and please
    draw a picture of your friend.
[09:08] ---
    Okay.
[09:12] Saikawa
    Kanna-san, would you draw me?
[09:18] Kanna
    Friend.
SIGN    Episode 5
SIGN    Tohru's Real World Lessons! (She Thinks She Understands It Already)
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
[09:30] T
    Asparagus, watercress, new potatoes!
[09:34] T
    I bought a bunch of vegetables in season!
[09:38] T
    Since we got them cheaper than planned,
    I guess I'll buy some snacks for Kanna.
[09:48] T
    Mr. Fafnir!
[09:52] T
    I'm home!
[09:54] K
    Welcome home.
[09:55] T
    I was surprised to find you standing there.
[09:59] T
    Oh, here you go.
[10:01] T
    What's going on?
[10:07] F
    I've decided to live in
    this world for a while.
[10:09] T
    Really?!
[10:11] T
    To be honest, I can't
    recommend it that strongly.
[10:14] T
    Can you live with humans?
[10:16] F
    If you can do it, then I can do it.
[10:20] T
    I guess that's true.
[10:21] T
    Then why don't you stay he—
[10:23] T
    Oh, I guess you can't.
[10:26] T
    Do you have any place to stay?
[10:29] F
    I'll live in some nearby mountain.
[10:32] Announcer
    Now for today's news.
[10:34] Announcer
    Last night there were reports of a
    monster spotted in the mountains,

[10:37] Announcer
    and police were dispatched.
[10:39] Announcer
    The monster was said to
    stand 20m at full height.

[10:43] F
    What?
[10:44] F
    Don't stand out?
[10:46] F
    Why do I have to sneak around
    and hide from humans?
[10:51] F
    Maybe I should just destroy them all.
[10:53] T
    Oh, forget about that stuff.
[10:55] T
    You'll be living amongst people.
[10:58] T
    So you have to show some restraint.
[11:00] T
    Right, I know!
[11:04] T
    I'll help search for a place
    for you to live, Mr. Fafnir.
[11:07] K
    Huh?
[11:08] K
    Hey, are you sure, Tohru?
[11:10] T
    I'll be all right!
[11:12] T
    Please leave it to me, Mr. Fafnir!
[11:14] F
    Hmph. I guess I'll see what you can do.
[11:19] T
    Just the other day I watched Miss Kobayashi
    move out, so I understand the process.
[11:24] F
    Oh?
[11:25] T
    You create a "family registration"
    and a "proof of citizenship,"
[11:30] T
    also a "bank account" and a "personal seal,"
    then you show them to a "realtor."
[11:34] F
    That doesn't make sense.
[11:37] T
    So, I made them for you myself.
[11:42] F
    Hold on.
[11:43] T
    Yes?
[11:44] F
    Is this me?
SIGN    Ooyama Takeshi
SIGN    Mysterious Large Creature
    20 Meters Tall
[11:47] T
    Yes.
[11:48] T
    Your dragon form looked like
    an Ooyama Takeshi, so...
[11:54] F
    You resemble them too much.
[11:55] T
    Huh?
[11:56] F
    You're growing too close to humans now.
[12:01] F
    When you return to your world,
[12:03] F
    will you be able kill humans?
[12:12] T
    I don't intend to return to my world.
[12:15] T
    This is where I belong.
[12:21] F
    In a century or so, that human
    you're attached to will die.
[12:26] F
    Then...
[12:30] T
    I'm fine.
[12:33] T
    The more I treasure these moments
    and being here right now,
[12:36] T
    the sadder I'll be when
    that time comes, I'm sure.
[12:39] T
    But I don't want to call
    those feelings regret.
[12:48] T
    Oh! Green means go.
[12:52] F
    You think they're worth
    speaking so highly of?
[12:56] T
    I do.
[12:59] T
    Because Miss Kobayashi is one of them.
[13:05] T
    Were you worried about me?
[13:09] F
    I was just curious about what
    humans are like in this world.
SIGN    Mitani Real Estate
SIGN    Oh, if it isn't Kobayashi-san's maid.
[13:17] T
    Thank you for last time.
[13:19] R
    So, what's your budget?
[13:21] F
    Money, huh?
[13:27] R
    We're not a pawn shop.
[13:32] T
    Guess that didn't work.
[13:34] F
    Oh well, I'll steal a fittin—
[13:36] T
    No, you won't!
[13:41] F
    I can't believe there's no money exchange.
[13:43] F
    Shows the limits of this world.
[13:45] T
    About that...
[13:46] T
    Are you sure it isn't best for
    you to live in your own world?
[13:52] T
    I'm sure it's hard to live here
    without a human you get along with.
[14:01] T
    There is a human you'd be
    all right with, Mr. Fafnir!
[14:06] Takiya
    Who is it?
[14:08] Takiya
    Tohru-dono!
[14:09] Takiya
    Oh, if it isn't Fafnir-dono!
[14:13] Takiya
    I'm surprised you knew where I lived.
[14:16] T
    I asked Miss Kobayashi.
[14:18] T
    So, Mr. Takiya.
[14:20] Takiya
    What is it?
[14:21] Takiya
    Actually, would you let Mr. Fafnir
    here... stay with you for a while?
[14:27] Takiya
    Oh, Fafnir-dono?
[14:30] T
    Y-Yes.
[14:31] Takiya
    Sure thing.
[14:32] T
    Huh? You mean it?!
[14:34] Takiya
    Well, it's a little cramped, but...
[14:37] T
    You really mean it?!
[14:39] T
    I know I'm one to talk, but this
    dragon's fairly dangerous.
[14:44] F
    Hey, about last time...
[14:46] Takiya
    You mean the game?
[14:48] F
    What others are there?
[14:50] T
    Well, come on in.
[14:52] F
    Tell me more about them.
[14:53] T
    Sure thing.
[14:57] T
    Was Mr. Fafnir really worried about me?
[15:06] Teacher
    Yes. Now let's conduct the experiment
    according to the chart in your textbooks.
[15:10] Student
    Yes.
[15:12] Kanna
    I forgot my text book. Show me yours?
[15:16] Saikawa
    I-I guess I have to.
[15:27] Magician
    Now try bending it.
SIGN    ESP! Bending spoons
[15:29] Magician
    You don't need to use any strength.
[15:31] Magician
    Just bend it with your will.
[15:37] T
    He didn't bend it with
    strength just now, did he?
[15:38] Announcer
    Incredible! How did it happen?!
[15:40] Kanna
    Doesn't look like he used magic either.
[15:43] T
    If I recall, he did something like this...
[15:48] T
    Oh, not that.
SIGN    Bend
SIGN    Bend
SIGN    Bend
SIGN    Snap...
SIGN    Bend
[15:58] K
    Hey!
SIGN    Hiss!!
[16:00] K
    Ah, you've bent them all.
[16:03] T
    S-Sorry.
[16:05] K
    What were you trying to do?
[16:07] Kanna
    Kobayashi! That! That!
[16:09] Magician
    Now this 100 yen coin will
    pass through the cup!

[16:10] K
    Oh, that's what you were doing.
[16:12] K
    Is that rare? ESP?
[16:15] T
    ESP?!
[16:17] T
    So humans really do have hidden powers?!
[16:25] T
    I knew Miss Kobayashi wasn't
    just an ordinary person!
[16:28] Kanna
    God! Kobayashi God!
[16:30] T
    Indeed!
[16:31] K
    Listen!
[16:32] K
    These are magic tricks.
[16:34] K
    Anyone can do them once they learn how.
[16:37] T
    Anyone?
[16:39] T
    I've heard of this before.
[16:40] T
    Humans usually only use about
    10% of their brain capacity.
[16:45] T
    In other words, if humans put their minds to it,
    anyone would be able to use super powers.
[16:50] T
    To be able to when they try.
    What crafty, lazy creatures.
[16:54] T
    I can't forgive humans!
[16:56] T
    Never!
[16:56] K
    You're thinking something weird again.
[16:59] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, this book was
    on Kobayashi's shelf.
SIGN    You Can Do It, Too! ESP
[17:04] T
    Well done, Kanna!
[17:05] K
    Oh, that's a book I bought long ago.
[17:07] T
    I see. So if you do this,
    then power enters your hand.
[17:10] K
    That's all fiction though.
[17:13] T
    Training! This book provides good training!
[17:17] T
    I'm going training!
[17:18] K
    Tohru's easily influenced, huh?
[17:20] T
    Miss Kobayashi, come with me!
[17:23] K
    Well, I'm free, so sure.
[17:25] T
    Oh, I'll fix your spoons first.
[17:27] K
    You don't need ESP, Tohru.
[17:34] K
    Again? How cliche.
SIGN    Training 1 Mental Fortification
[17:39] T
    Will I actually learn how
    to do it by doing this?
[17:53] K
    It doesn't matter if you can do it, does it?
[17:56] T
    Empty the mind.
[17:58] T
    Right now, I have no desires.
SIGN    Training 2 Meditation
[18:01] Kanna
    Kobayashi, I'm hungry.
[18:03] T
    Weakling!
[18:06] T
    Wha?!
[18:09] T
    Me, too!
[18:11] K
    Here.
SIGN    Training 3 Clairvoyance
[18:17] T
    Star!
[18:19] Kanna
    Wrong.
[18:21] T
    Miss Kobayashi! Miss
    Kobayashi! Miss Kobayashi!
SIGN    Training 4 Thoughtography
[18:24] T
    M-Miss Kobayashi?!
[18:26] K
    That's your horn, right?
SIGN    Training 5 Forms
SIGN    Training 5 Forms
SIGN    Training 6 Sparring
[18:41] T
    Miss Kobayashi, please look! This is our...
[18:46] T
    Compilation: Bear Slayer!
SIGN    Training Compilation
SIGN    Bear Slayer
[18:49] K
    What do you want to become?
[18:56] T
    Why?!
[19:00] K
    Listen, Tohru.
[19:02] K
    You can do plenty of things humans can't,
     so isn't that good enough?
[19:08] T
    No!
[19:09] T
    I don't want to lose to humans!
[19:12] T
    I can't be inferior to them in any way!
[19:16] T
    Absolutely not!
[19:19] T
    Absolutely.
[19:21] K
    I don't think it's like that, Tohru.
[19:25] K
    I think you actually want
    to understand humans,
[19:28] K
    and that's why you're so desperate
    to understand what you can't.
[19:37] K
    Tohru.
[19:38] K
    You search for the spoon's center of gravity,
[19:42] K
    then using the principle
    of leverage here, there.
[19:53] T
    Huh?
[19:54] K
    Once you understand, it's simple, isn't it?
[19:56] K
    This is, at least. But there are
    some things that aren't that way.
[20:01] K
    So, Tohru, you should focus on the
    things only you can do.
[20:11] T
    Right.
[20:12] T
    I understand.
[20:19] T
    I understand.
[20:29] K
    Tohru.
[20:36] T
    Well!
[20:37] T
    I'm going to show you a
    power only I can use!
[20:42] T
    Please watch, Miss Kobayashi!
[20:44] K
    But don't break anything, okay?
[20:47] T
    Then there's not much I can do.
[20:50] K
    Are you the avatar of destruction?
[20:51] Kanna
    I can produce electricity.
SIGN    Magic Show of the Century
[20:57] Announcer
    Now, the beautiful lady has
    entered the box. Please watch.

[21:01] Announcer
    This is the super magic
    of instant teleportation!

[21:03] T
    This!
[21:06] Announcer
    Now, it's the moment of the century.
[21:15] Announcer
    What?! Huh? Wha? A maid?
[21:17] Announcer
    A maid has appeared from the box!
[21:19] Announcer
    This isn't what we planned? Huh?
[21:26] Kids
    Hey, hey, give me a big helping!
SIGN    Milk
[21:28] Saikawa
    Sweet and sour pork with pineapples?
[21:32] Saikawa
    I hate this.
[21:39] Saikawa
    C-Cute!
[21:42] Kanna
    We're likely to have
    leftovers, so here's extra.
[21:47] Sai
    Extra?!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] T
    Miss Kobayashi, I learned new magic!
[23:28] K
    Wow.
[23:29] T
    Please take a look at this coin on a string.
[23:31] K
    Okay.
[23:32] T
    You will fall deeper and deeper in
    love with Tohru! In love with Tohru!
SIGN    Episode 6
SIGN    Home Visit! (And Homes Not Visited)
[23:36] K
    That's not magic.

E6 - Home Visit! (And Homes Not Visited)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Saikawa
    Hey, Kanna-san, Kanna-san.
[00:09] Saikawa
    Want to come play at my place next time?
[00:11] Kanna
    Your place?
[00:14] Kanna
    Is it fun?
[00:15] S
    It's fun!
[00:16] S
    I have lots of games and snacks.
[00:18] S
    Plus we have our own maid, too!
[00:21] Kanna
    Maid?
[00:22] S
    You could bring your maid with you, as well.
[00:25] S
    You know, the one who
    joined us for dodgeball.
[00:28] S
    When I talked about that,
    our maid said she'd love to meet her.
[00:32] S
    She wants to have a chance
    to discuss being a maid.
[00:34] S
    So it's okay, right, Kanna-san?
[00:36] Kanna
    All right.
[02:13] Tohru
    This is the place?
[02:15] Tohru
    The reckless person who dares
    challenge me as a maid lives here?
[02:19] Tohru
    I'll crush her!
[02:20] K
    Why am I here, too?
[02:22] Kanna
    Because you know a lot about maids.
[02:25] S
    Welcome! Welcome! Kanna-san!
[02:27] S
    And your maid, and... Uh...
[02:31] Kanna
    This is Kobayashi. She's my guardian.
[02:34] S
    Oh, hello, Kanna-san's mother.
[02:36] K
    Moth—?!
[02:37] K
    Do I look that old?
[02:40] T
    Don't worry, Miss Kobayashi!
[02:42] T
    Compared to me,
    all humans are practically babies.
[02:45] Georgie
    Young Lady, I believe introductions are due.
[02:48] S
    Oh, right.
[02:50] S
    Let me introduce you.
[02:51] S
    This is our family's maid.
[02:53] Georgie
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
[02:56] Georgie
    I am Georgie, and I serve
     this family as their maid.
SIGN    Georgie
[03:00] T
    You don't seem to be dressed
    like much of a maid.
[03:05] T
    There's no black and white, for a start.
[03:06] K
    No, there actually isn't a set uniform
    for maids in the first place.
[03:11] K
    As their role as servants grew larger
    over a long period of history,
[03:15] K
    their outfits evolved
    into what we know today.
[03:18] Georgie
    Yes.
[03:19] Georgie
    This maid outfit is as one
    created with a young girl's
[03:22] Georgie
    wages after entering the service.
[03:24] Georgie
    I'm humbled by your discerning eye.
[03:27] K
    In other words...
[03:28] G
    You and I are...
[03:30] Both
    Comrades!
[03:31] T
    Huh?! Miss Kobayashi, please don't
    be swayed by this strange maid!
[03:37] G
    You must be Tohru-san.
[03:39] G
    I've heard the rumors about
    you in the shopping district.
[03:41] G
    I've wanted to discuss maids
    with you for a while.
[03:46] K
    That's great!
[03:48] G
    This way please!
[03:49] T
    Huh?!
[03:51] T
    Oh, but this is the first time Miss Kobayashi's
    pulled me along so purposefully.
[03:58] S
    Well, Kanna-san, do you
    want to play in my room?
[04:02] Kanna
    Yup.
[04:08] S
    Wh-What should we play?
[04:11] Kanna
    What's that?
[04:13] S
    Oh, this is Twister. For kids.
[04:17] Kanna
    I want to try.
[04:19] S
    Sure, let's give it a go.
[04:22] Game
    Player one, left hand, yellow.
[04:24] S
    So you follow the directions and place
    your hands and feet on the proper colors.
[04:28] Game
    Player two, right hand, blue.
[04:30] S
    Your turn, Kanna-san.
[04:31] Kanna
    Mm.
[04:33] Game
    Player one, left foot, red.
[04:35] S
    Oh, o-okay, red.
[04:38] Game
    Player two, right hand, blue.
[04:40] Kanna
    Blue.
[04:41] Game
    Right foot, red.
[04:43] ---
    Red.
[04:45] Game
    Left foot...
[04:46] Kanna
    Green.
[04:47] S
    Ah, K-Kanna-san's so...
[04:50] S
    soft!
[04:54] Kanna
    I want to play a video game.
[04:56] S
    I-I have plenty of video games.
[04:59] Kanna
    A fun one.
[05:00] S
    A fun one, huh?
[05:04] K
    What a nice smell.
[05:06] K
    Is it first flush?
[05:08] Georgie
    Impressive.
[05:10] Georgie
    I did manage to acquire some
    first flush Darjeeling.
[05:13] T
    Oh! I know about that!
    It's a good, fresh tea, right?
[05:17] T
    I know that much!
[05:19] K
    Oh, this is an antique cup!
[05:22] K
    Is it from the Victorian era?
[05:24] Georgie
    Yes, I picked it up from a flea market.
[05:27] K
    Georgie-san, what led you to like maids?
[05:30] G
    At first it was a picture book.
[05:31] G
    It was a story of a young
    lady becoming a maid...
[05:33] K
    I read that, too!
[05:35] G
    You, too, Kobayashi-san?
[05:37] K
    They were professionals
    entrusted with the house!
[05:40] G
    Their pride and dignified
    figures moved my heart!
[05:43] K
    Changing clothes between
    morning and afternoon...
[05:45] G
    Always paying attention to their
    appearance even when busy with work!
[05:49] K
    Their beautiful deportment!
[05:51] S
    How about this game?
SIGN    Riko
[05:53] Kanna
    Mm.
[05:54] S
    Okay.
[05:57] S
    Here.
[05:58] Kanna
    Sit there.
[05:59] S
    Huh? Oh, sure.
[06:02] S
    Here, right?
[06:03] S
    Okay.
[06:04] S
    Wait, huh?
[06:06] Kanna
    This spot's most comfortable.
[06:10] S
    I-I-I'm so happy!
[06:13] Kanna
    Saikawa, that's too tight.
[06:14] S
    Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it...
[06:18] Kanna
    Hey, Saikawa.
[06:20] S
    Yes?
[06:21] Kanna
    Do you think I'm getting along
    with the kids in our class?
[06:24] S
    Well, of course you are.
[06:27] S
    You can do everything,
    and everyone praises you.
[06:31] Kanna
    It feels different to me though.
[06:33] Kanna
    I can't explain it well,
[06:35] Kanna
    but I want something like what
    Kobayashi and Tohru share.
[06:41] S
    Kanna-san...
[06:42] S
    I like you a lot, Kanna-san.
[06:45] S
    I want to be even closer to you.
[06:47] S
    Frankly, I'd love to marry you.
[06:51] Kanna
    Then...
[06:53] Kanna
    Let's be even closer, okay?
[06:56] S
    U-Uh, um, I need to prepare my heart.
[07:00] Kanna
    Saikawa...
[07:02] Tohru
    I can't take it!
[07:04] K
    Don't run!
[07:05] Georgie
    Join us in discussing maids!
[07:09] T
    Save me, Kanna!
[07:10] Kanna
    Mm.
[07:11] S
    Huh?
[07:19] K
    So Georgie-san is Saikawa-san's
    older sister, huh?
[07:23] K
    I guess she goes by the nickname Georgie
    when disguising herself as a maid.
[07:27] T
    So she wasn't a maid, but a maid fanatic.
[07:32] Saikawa
    Back then...
[07:34] Saikawa
    What was Kanna-san about to do to me?
[07:41] Kanna
    I wanted to...
[07:50] K
    Hmm, it's raining a lot.
[07:54] T
    Understood!
[07:56] K
    Wait, wait, wait!
[08:03] K
    You decided to move from your world to ours?
[08:06] Lucoa
    Yeah.
[08:08] K
    Why would you do that?
[08:09] L
    Lately I've been hanging
    out with you more often,
[08:13] L
    and being here's a little more convenient, y'know?
[08:15] L
    Plus it's closer.
[08:17] K
    Huh? To what?
[08:19] Lucoa
    I'm living at someone else's house,
    just like Tohru.
[08:23] Lucoa
    Do you want to stop by?
[08:26] K
    Sure, but are you sure it's okay?
[08:28] L
    Yeah. I want to clear up
    the misunderstanding, too.
[08:30] K
    Misunderstanding?
[08:31] L
    Actually, that's partly why I
    decided to live in this world...
[08:38] L
    It happened one day while I
    was on my way home from here.
[08:43] (Flashback) L
    Huh?
[08:44] (Flashback) L
    Is someone performing a ritual nearby?
[08:46] (Flashback) L
    Hmm? A child?
[08:51] (Flashback) L
    Guess I'll go see.
[09:00] T
    You let yourself be summoned by a ritual
    some kid did because they were curious?
[09:04] T
    And you agreed to be their servant?
[09:07] L
    Well, what's wrong with that?
[09:08] L
    It seems they're from a
    family line of mages.
[09:11] L
    They accepted me pretty easily.
[09:13] K
    So the misunderstanding you
    want to clear up is...?
[09:16] L
    They think I'm a demon.
[09:19] L
    Do you think you could talk
    some sense into them?
[09:23] L
    Ah, we're here.
[09:25] L
    This is Shouta's house.
[09:28] L
    Come on, come in.
[09:29] K
    Huh? It's okay?
[09:31] L
    No one's around at this hour.
[09:33] L
    I'm using one of the rooms upstairs,
    so we can relax in there.
[09:37] L
    Tea's all I can offer you though.
[09:41] K
    Okay.
[09:42] L
    What?
[09:43] K
    First, there's something I'd like to ask.
[09:45] L
    Hmm?
[09:46] K
    What are you, Lucoa-san?
[09:48] L
    What do you mean?
[09:49] K
    Well, I thought you were a
    dragon like Tohru, but...
[09:54] Lucoa
    Oh right, I didn't tell you.
[09:57] Lucoa
    I guess I'm what you'd
    classify as an ex-goddess.
[10:02] K
    Ex?
[10:03] Tohru
    Her colleague served her cursed liquor,
    and then while she was drunk—
[10:07] K
    Oh, you mentioned that before.
[10:10] Tohru
    Because of that, she was driven
    from her seat as goddess.
[10:13] K
    Then you might as well be a demon.
[10:15] L
    Well, I'm still responsible for
    spreading civilization far and wide,
[10:20] L
    so it's hard to call myself a demon.
SIGN    Ex-Goddess
[10:22] L
    Which is why I prefer "ex-goddess,"
    "feathered serpent," or "Venusian."
SIGN    Feathered Serpent
SIGN    Venusian
[10:27] K
    How do you get Venusian?
[10:31] K
    Oh, someone's home.
[10:33] Lucoa
    Shouta, the one who summoned me.
[10:38] T
    He seems really fidgety.
SIGN    Magatsuchi Shouta
[10:41] L
    He's always like that when I'm home.
[10:44] K
    Well, when he's with an older woman
    whose body is an agitator of lust...
[10:49] L
    That's why I've tried sleeping with him and
    bathing with him to make him less nervous,
[10:56] L
    but none of it has worked.
[11:02] Shouta
    She invited people here!
[11:03] L
    Welcome home, Shouta!
[11:05] L
    A-A familiar can't be acting on their own!
[11:09] L
    Y-You demon!
[11:10] L
    Are you planning to gather your
    allies and take over our home?!
[11:13] K
    Looks like he wants to appear strong.
[11:16] L
    So cute, isn't he?
SIGN    Ba-dump
[11:20] L
    Sorry, Shouta.
[11:23] Shouta
    A-As long as you understand!
[11:24] L
    I called these two here today to
    help you properly understand me.
[11:31] Shouta
    What do you mean?
[11:33] L
    I'm not actually a demon. I'm a dragon.
[11:36] Shouta
    Huh? But I used a demon summoning circle...
[11:39] L
    I thought it might be dangerous
[11:41] L
    if a fiendish demon appeared
    in that summoning circle,
[11:45] L
    so I answered the call first.
[11:47] Shouta
    N-No way...
[11:49] Shouta
    But it can't be possible for me to
    summon a dragon with my magic power.
[11:53] Shouta
    Y-You're just bluffing to make yourself
    seem more powerful, aren't you?!
[11:56] Shouta
    You won't fool me, demon!
[11:59] L
    You see? It's like this every time.
[12:02] K
    I see.
[12:03] Tohru
    Shouta.
[12:04] Shouta
    Yes?
[12:05] T
    Apparently you're from a family of mages,
    but why did you perform that summoning ritual?
[12:10] Shouta
    W-Well... Because I wanted to be
    accepted as a full-fledged mage.
[12:17] Shouta
    In this world mages are living quiet lives,
    but one day we'll return to our original world.
[12:24] Shouta
    My father's maintained our power
[12:26] Shouta
    for the sake of that day,
    and worked hard to pass it down to me.
[12:30] Shouta
    So I want to hurry up and...
[12:32] K
    Hmm, so you summoned Lucoa-san in
    order to prove your own power?
[12:38] K
    I kind of feel bad for Lucoa-san then.
[12:43] Shouta
    Now that you mention it...
[12:46] K
    Even if she were a demon,
[12:47] K
    it would cause trouble for her to
    be summoned when she wasn't needed.
[12:50] K
    Even after summoning her,
[12:52] K
    you can't take her with
    you to elementary school,
[12:54] K
    so there's no point in her
    staying in this home.
[12:55] Shouta
    Everything you say is right.
[12:58] L
    Hey...
[12:58] Shouta
    Well, Lucoa, I'm sorry.
[13:00] L
    Isn't this implying I should leave?
[13:03] L
    No, I don't want to go home!
[13:06] Shouta
    You don't?
[13:08] T
    But you can't just stay
    here doing nothing, right?
[13:11] T
    Even I'm working as a splendid
    maid to help Miss Kobayashi.
[13:16] K
    Huh? You are?
[13:17] T
    That's mean!
[13:18] Shouta
    My mother handles all the housework.
[13:23] L
    In other words, you're saying I need to do
    something for Shouta in order to stay here?
[13:29] L
    How about more gold than you can ever use?
[13:32] Shouta
    Don't need it, because Father can use alchemy.
[13:35] L
    I could teach you agricultural technology?
[13:38] Shouta
    I don't want to be a farmer.
[13:40] L
    How about strong charisma?
[13:43] Shouta
    That would just cause more
    problems if I had it now.
[13:46] L
    Then how about vast magical power?
[13:49] Shouta
    Hmm, that's kind of appealing.
[13:52] L
    Then it's settled.
[13:54] Shouta
    But I don't need it.
[13:55] L
    Huh? Why not?
[13:56] Shouta
    I don't think there's much point if you
    don't work hard to earn that for yourself.
[14:00] L
    Huh?!
SIGN    Useless
[14:02] K
    Shouta-kun's level-headed.
[14:05] T
    Miss Lucoa, I don't think
    you'll be much help to him.
[14:08] L
    Then this is all I have left...
[14:12] L
    My body.
[14:14] Shouta
    You really are a demonic succubus!
[14:17] L
    Huh? Huh?!
[14:19] T
    You tied your own noose.
[14:24] K
    Man, it's novel seeing
    Lucoa-san getting flustered.
[14:29] T
    At this rate she'll be treated
    as a succubus for a while.
[14:33] K
    By the way, Tohru.
[14:35] T
    Yes, yes?
[14:35] K
    I've noticed something really
    bad about that house.
[14:39] T
    Huh? What is it?
[14:40] T
    From what I could see,
    it was just an ordinary home.
[14:44] K
    Well, Shouta-kun's father...
[14:47] K
    I found out from the pictures of him, but...
SIGN    To Shouta Welcome home! I'll be home after I hit the store, so wait for me! From Mama
[14:50] K
    I think he's my company's director.
[14:52] T
    Wow, small world!
[14:57] L
    Shouta!
[14:59] S
    Stay out!
[15:00] L
    Come on, I'm not a demon. Look closer!
[15:03] Shouta
    Go away, demon!
[15:05] L
    You need to look!
[15:06] Shouta
    Don't come near me!
[15:14] T
    It's still pouring outside.
[15:17] T
    Well, it is the rainy season.
[15:20] K
    Let's hang this.
[15:24] T
    What is that?
[15:26] ---
    A teruterubouzu.
[15:27] Kanna
    A teruterubouzu?
[15:30] T
    Will something like that
    really make it clear up?
[15:33] K
    Well, eventually.
SIGN    Episode 6
SIGN    Home Visit! (And Homes Not Visited)
[15:48] Takiya
    Well, Kobayashi-san, see you later.
[15:50] K
    Thanks for today.
[15:53] K
    Guess I should head home, too.
[15:55] K
    I'm hungry anyway.
[15:59] T
    Looks like you didn't work overtime today.
[16:02] T
    I'm happy you came home early!
[16:05] K
    I come home when I can.
[16:07] K
    Takiya-kun went home at
    the regular time, too.
[16:09] T
    Takiya...
[16:10] K
    I wonder if Takiya-kun and Fafnir-san
    are getting along well.
[16:15] T
    Now that you mention it,
     I haven't seen him lately.
[16:18] Kanna
    I saw him today.
[16:19] K
    Huh? Where?
[16:21] Kanna
    On the way home from school, in the park.
[16:24] Kanna
    He was jumping in circles over and over,
[16:26] Kanna
    mumbling something.
[16:29] T
    That cursed dragon,
    what on earth is he doing?
[16:33] K
    What is he up to?
[16:36] Takiya
    Kings!
[16:37] F
    Rule.
[16:37] Taki
    Citizens!
[16:38] F
    Suck.
[16:39] T
    Nyami-nyami.
[16:40] F
    Rules.
[16:41] Both
    Kaboom!
[16:44] Takiya
    Nice!
[16:45] Takiya
    You're doing great!
[16:47] Takiya
    You've improved a whole lot, Faf-kun!
[16:50] F
    Who's Faf-kun?
[16:52] Takiya
    Oh, you don't like it?
[16:55] Takiya
    My apologies then.
[16:58] Takiya
    So, now you're all set for the call
    and respond part of tomorrow's event!
[17:02] F
    And I can obtain a limited edition
    item at that event, right?
[17:06] Takiya
    That's right.
[17:08] Takiya
    Today we're having curry.
[17:10] F
    Mild?
[17:11] Takiya
    That's right.
[17:14] Takiya
    Thanks for the meal.
[17:16] Takiya
    Now...
[17:19] F
    I won't lose today.
[17:22] F
    Damn traps!
[17:23] Takiya
    What did you just hide?
[17:25] F
    You idiot, you can't go that way!
[17:27] Takiya
    Got the weapon!
[17:29] Fafnir
    Urk, I fainted.
[17:31] Takiya
    Victory's mine.
[17:33] F
    I know.
[17:36] F
    I won't lose next time.
[17:38] Takiya
    Bring it on.
[17:48] Takiya
    Fafnir-dono, there's a game I'd
    like you to try playing for a bit.
[17:52] F
    The game you're selling at Comiket again?
[17:54] Takiya
    That's right.
[17:56] Takiya
    I'm at about the 80% mark.
[17:59] F
    Where's that?
[18:00] Taki
    About here.
[18:09] F
    Can't you add anything to this part?
[18:11] Takiya
    Ah, that part does need something, doesn't it?
[18:20] Takiya
    Fafnir-dono, how many hours
    a day are you logged in?
[18:25] F
    Roughly 21.
[18:27] Takiya
    What level are you at right now?
[18:29] F
    280.
[18:30] F
    I've cleared all the limited
    time events, so I'm free now.
[18:33] Takiya
    You're on the fast-track
    to gaming addiction, huh?
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again?
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again?
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again? Ooyama Takeshi: Don't talk to me, I'll kill you.
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again? Ooyama Takeshi: Don't talk to me, I'll kill you. Ebony Holy Knight: PK's impossible lolz
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again? Ooyama Takeshi: Don't talk to me, I'll kill you. Ebony Holy Knight: PK's impossible lolz Crystalite: He's here almost all the time, isn't he?
SIGN    Hades 7: Huh? Ooyama-san, you're on again? Ooyama Takeshi: Don't talk to me, I'll kill you. Ebony Holy Knight: PK's impossible lolz Crystalite: He's here almost all the time, isn't he? Crystalite: Hard to believe he's human!
SIGN    Ooyama Takeshi: I told you, I'm not human.
SIGN    Ooyama Takeshi: I told you, I'm not human. Ooyama Takeshi: Don't group me with the rest of you.
SIGN    Ooyama Takeshi: I told you, I'm not human. Ooyama Takeshi: Don't group me with the rest of you. Nayuta-san: As expected, Ooyama-san!
SIGN    Ooyama Takeshi: I told you, I'm not human. Ooyama Takeshi: Don't group me with the rest of you. Nayuta-san: As expected, Ooyama-san! ChronosT: His roleplaying's crazy.
[18:54] Takiya
    Oh, right, Fafnir-dono.
[18:56] F
    What?
[18:58] Takiya
    Today I bought some hair conditioner
    on my way home from work.
[19:02] F
    And that will help with my hair?
[19:04] Takiya
    Yes.
[19:16] Takiya
    Another all-nighter today?
[19:19] Takiya
    Well, I'm out.
[19:20] Takiya
    Good night, Fafnir-dono.
[19:28] Takiya
    Fafnir-dono, good morning.
[19:32] Takiya
    This morning we have natto and rice.
[19:34] F
    Mild?
[19:36] Takiya
    This doesn't work that way.
[19:43] Kanna
    Rain, rain, rain...
[19:47] T
    Kanna's really happy about
    her new umbrella, huh?
[19:50] K
    Yeah.
[19:55] K
    What are you doing?
[19:56] T
    Don't you know, Miss Kobayashi?
[19:58] T
    It's called sharing a lover's umbrella.
[20:00] K
    No, I know that.
[20:02] K
    But you have your own umbrella, don't you?
[20:05] T
    I prefer this.
[20:17] K
    Oh.
[20:20] K
    Looks like they're getting along well.
[20:23] T
    I shouldn't say this after recommending them
    for each other, but Mr. Takiya's incredible.
[20:28] T
    Being able to live with Mr. Fafnir.
[20:34] Fafnir
    Humans are either hits or misses.
[20:37] Fafnir
    The misses make themselves known quickly,
    but it takes time to know if you've found a hit.
[20:41] Fafnir
    And spending that much time on
    every person is bothersome.
[20:46] Fafnir
    As far as I'm concerned,
[20:48] Fafnir
    the misses that trespass on my home
    to steal my treasure are better.
[20:53] Takiya
    Sorry for the wait.
[20:55] F
    However...
[20:56] Takiya
    I can't wait for the event, Faf-ku—ah!
[21:01] F
    I don't mind.
[21:01] Takiya
    Huh?
[21:02] F
    You're a hit.
[21:04] Takiya
    Faf...
[21:05] F
    Let's hurry.
[21:06] Takiya
    Oh, yes!
[21:24] Tohru
    The teruterubouzu aren't working at all.
[21:27] K
    Yeah, it's still raining.
[21:30] Kanna
    I love the rain.
[21:40] K
    True.
[21:43] K
    Rain's not so bad.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] Shouta
    Lucoa, you're forbidden from
    approaching me naked from now on!
[23:29] Shouta
    That's an order!
[23:30] Lucoa
    But my clothes are my scales,
    so I'm always naked.
SIGN    Water Dragon Shrine
[23:34] Shouta
    G-Get away from me you pervert!
SIGN    Episode 7
SIGN    Summer's Staples! (The Fanservice Episode, Frankly)

E7 - Summer's Staples! (The Fanservice Episode, Frankly)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] T
    Oh, so this is the beach in this world!
[00:09] T
    With all these people here,
[00:10] T
    it's tempting to just mow them all down
     at once, isn't it, Miss Kobayashi?
[00:13] K
    Don't do it.
[00:14] Kanna
    The ocean here's salty?
[00:16] K
    It is.
[00:17] Kanna
    That's the same, then.
[00:18] Lucoa
    The best thing about swimsuits
    is that you can boldly show off more flesh.
[00:22] K
    No, that's out.
[00:24] L
    Really?
[00:26] L
    What do you think, Shouta?
[00:28] S
    I-I don't know where to look...
[00:32] S
    This is reassuring.
[00:33] K
    That doesn't make me happy to hear at all.
[00:36] Security
    Excuse me, ma'am.
[00:37] L
    Yes?
[00:38] Security
    Could you come with me?
    Your swimsuit is too skimpy.
[00:40] L
    Huh? Um, hey!
[00:42] K
    Well, that's to be expected.
[02:17] L
    I'm finally back.
[02:19] K
    You brought a spare swimsuit?
[02:21] Lucoa
    It's my scales.
[02:23] K
    Oh, that works for your swimsuits, too?
[02:26] T
    Yes, we looked them up on the internet!
[02:29] T
    Nice, aren't they?
[02:29] K
    I'm more envious of what's
    filling out that swimsuit though.
[02:32] Kanna
    I want to play now.
[02:34] T
    Right, let's go play!
[02:37] T
    Miss Kobayashi, what will you do?
[02:38] K
    Hmm, nothing much.
[02:41] T
    What's the matter, Miss Kobayashi?
[02:43] T
    You haven't been very excited all day.
[02:45] K
    To be honest, I'm not a big fan of the beach.
[02:48] Both
    Huh?!
[02:49] L
    That's too honest.
[02:51] K
    Well, it's hot, you get sunburned,
     and sand is annoying.
[02:54] Shouta
    Same for me.
[02:55] Shouta
    I prefer the indoors.
[02:57] T
    Then why did you come with us today?
[03:00] K
    Well...
[03:02] K
    Because I don't have much
    else to do this summer.
[03:04] K
    My manager asked me to look
    after Shouta-kun, too,
[03:08] K
    so I figured going with
    everyone would be better.
[03:11] T
    Oh, I know what's going on here!
[03:13] T
    That tsundere thing, right?!
[03:14] K
    Completely different.
[03:15] Kanna
    I want to play now.
[03:17] T
    Oh, right.
[03:19] T
    Then, uh...
[03:22] T
    First, let's put on sunscreen!
[03:24] T
    What an inferior species,
[03:25] T
    having skin that gets damaged if you
    don't coat yourselves in such a thing.
[03:29] T
    Now, here I go, Miss Kobayashi!
[03:31] K
    Do anything weird and you're fired.
[03:33] T
    Yes.
[03:34] L
    Well, Shouta, could you?
[03:37] L
    There. Go ahead.
[03:40] L
    Come on.
[03:45] S
    I-I can't!
[03:47] L
    I see.
[03:48] L
    Switch, then.
[03:58] L
    Well, Shouta?
[04:00] S
    W-Well what?
[04:02] L
    Am I coating you right?
[04:04] S
    You really are a demon, aren't you?
[04:06] L
    Huh?!
[04:08] S
    Why are you trying to seduce me?!
[04:12] T
    Miss Lucoa, why don't you
    just try being a demon?
[04:16] Kanna
    I want to play now.
[04:17] T
    Next is watermelon splitting.
[04:19] Kanna
    I'm in.
[04:20] T
    Further right!
[04:22] L
    Ah, you went too far. A little left!
[04:25] T
    Yes, yes, now just go straight.
[04:27] T
    Okay, stop.
[04:34] Kanna
    Yay.
[04:35] T
    Impressive, Kanna!
[04:37] T
    You obliterated every last trace of it.
[04:39] K
    Yeah, oh well.
[04:41] Kanna
    I want to swim!
[04:42] T
    Sure, let's go!
[04:44] K
    Don't go too far out.
[04:47] T
    Why not?
[04:48] K
    It's dangerous.
[04:50] T
    Oh, you're right.
    He is scary, that Leviathan.
[04:54] T
    That one time I was nearly
    killed really was a disaster.
[04:58] K
    What did you do?
[04:59] T
    I saw him from behind and mistook him
    for Rahab when calling out to him.
[05:02] (Flashback) Lev
    Why you! I'll kill you!
[05:04] K
    Well, no, it's because no one can
    help you if you start to drown.
[05:07] T
    Oh yeah, you humans can't
    breathe under water, can you?
[05:10] T
    What an inferior species.
[05:12] K
    You can, Tohru?
[05:14] T
    I can. Swimming to my heart's
    content feels really good.
[05:17] K
    Does she have gills or something?
[05:19] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, let's race to there.
[05:22] T
    You're on.
[05:24] T
    Miss Kobayashi,
     please give us the signal!
[05:27] K
    Sure.
[05:28] K
    On your marks,
[05:30] K
    ready,
[05:31] K
    go!
[05:32] K
    Ah, I forgot to tell them to hold back.
[05:38] T
    Not bad, Kanna.
[05:40] Kanna
    Impressive, Lady Tohru.
[05:41] T
    First!
[05:45] K
    You went overboard.
[05:46] Both
    I'm sorry.
[05:49] K
    Well, I guess it's time for lunch.
[05:54] Both
    Okay!
SIGN    Ocean
SIGN    Beach Hut
SIGN    Food Shaved Ice
[05:58] All
    Thanks for the meal!
[06:01] Kanna
    What's next?
[06:02] T
    Well... Miss Kobayashi...?
[06:06] T
    What's wrong, Miss Kobayashi?
[06:09] K
    Nothing. I just noticed that old man
    hasn't changed much since back then.
SIGN    Strawberry Melon Lemon Blue Hawaii
[06:14] T
    Back then?
[06:14] K
    Yeah. When I was still a kid,
    I came here with my family.
[06:21] T
    Family...
[06:23] (Flashback) Father
    Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!
[06:27] K
    What's the matter?
[06:31] T
    Nothing.
[06:34] T
    Miss Kobayashi?
[06:36] K
    Hmm?
[06:37] T
    Could you tell me more about your family?
[06:42] K
    Huh?
[06:44] T
    Please?
[06:46] K
    Well...
[06:49] K
    I think it was a normal family.
[06:51] K
    I was raised normally.
[06:54] K
    They had me go to college.
[06:57] K
    After that, I left home to work.
[07:00] K
    Every now and then I talk to my parents
    on the phone to tell them how I'm doing.
[07:05] K
    Oh, I haven't seen them in a while.
[07:11] T
    That's a normal human family?
[07:14] K
    Probably.
[07:15] T
    Then why did Miss Kobayashi
    accept a dragon like me?
[07:21] T
    Why would someone born
    and raised normally...
[07:25] T
    Why?
[07:27] T
    Does that mean...
[07:29] T
    the humans of this world
    could accept dragons?
[07:33] (Flashback) Father
    Kill them! Humans are evil! Kill them all!
[07:38] K
    What's wrong, Tohru?
[07:43] T
    Oh, it's nothing.
[07:46] T
    It's just, well...
[07:53] T
    I'm feeling listless.
[07:58] K
    Tohru.
[08:00] K
    Can I ride you?
[08:19] K
    This really is incredible.
[08:21] T
    It's been a while, so I'm excited!
[08:27] K
    Hup.
[08:33] K
    Tohru, aren't you homesick?
[08:37] T
    That's not the case.
[08:39] K
    But I feel like seeing my parents
    after what we just talked about.
[08:44] T
    Every now and then I would
    like to see my parents.
[08:48] T
    But it's all right.
[08:50] K
    Really?
[08:51] K
    Then what's bugging you?
[08:54] T
    I thought about introducing
    you to my parents.
[08:59] K
    You should.
[09:01] T
    I can't.
[09:02] K
    Why not?
[09:04] T
    Because I'm sure they'd kill you.
[09:08] K
    That sounds violent, but I guess that's
     common sense in your world, huh.
[09:13] T
    It is.
[09:15] T
    From my parent's point of view,
[09:17] T
    I'm definitely the weird one,
    not common sense.
[09:21] T
    It's sad.
[09:26] K
    Talking to Tohru about things like
    this is kind of heavy. And sad.
[09:33] K
    It drives home the difference
    between "understanding words"
[09:37] K
    and "understanding each other".
[09:39] K
    It makes me realize we've lived
    in vastly different worlds.
[09:44] K
    But maybe that's all the more reason I want
    to cherish this time we have together.
[09:52] K
    I think that means you've
    become independent.
[09:56] T
    Independent?
[09:57] K
    Yeah. You've developed your
    own unique set of values.
[10:01] T
    You mean I've become an adult?
[10:04] K
    Who knows?
[10:06] K
    I'm not sure.
[10:07] K
    Most people don't try to become adults,
    they just can't stay children any longer.
[10:14] T
    Oh, you've hooked something, Miss Kobayashi.
[10:22] K
    Tiny.
[10:29] K
    Shall we head back?
[10:30] T
    Yes.
[10:44] Both
    Dragon fireworks?
[10:46] K
    Yeah. I won them in a lottery
    at the shopping district.
[11:02] Kanna
    That's it?
[11:03] K
    Yeah.
[11:04] Both
    Huh?!
[11:05] T
    A real dragon is way better than that!
[11:20] Kanna
    Impressive, Lady Tohru!
SIGN    See, see! How's that, Miss Kobayashi?!
[11:22] T
    Shee, shee! How'f thah, Mih Chofahashi?!
[11:25] K
    I can't understand anything you're saying.
SIGN    Episode 7
SIGN    Summer's Staples! (The Fanservice Episode, Frankly)
[11:39] T
    What on Earth is this?!
[11:41] K
    The admission line for Comiket.
[11:43] T
    So we're supposed to provide
    cover for Takiya here?
[11:47] K
    Not cover. Help.
[11:49] K
    Apparently two of his sellers
    suddenly collapsed.
[11:51] T
    Leave it to me!
[11:53] T
    With my power, it will be easy
    to exterminate them all.
[11:55] K
    Don't.
[11:56] T
    By the way, was leaving
    Kanna behind a good idea?
[11:59] K
    There's a lot here that
    can't be shown to children.
[12:05] Takiya
    Man, thanks, you two!
[12:07] Takiya
    You're a lifesaver!
[12:08] K
    I owe you quite a bit anyway.
[12:11] T
    You didn't ask Mr. Fafnir?
SIGN    Water Dragon Shrine
SIGN    Bullet Hell Games
[12:14] Takiya
    Oh, he's participating as a circle.
SIGN    Curse Anthology
[12:17] K
    Huh?!
[12:18] T
    Participating as a circle?
[12:20] Takiya
    A circle's a group of people like us,
    who sell things they made to other fans.
[12:25] T
    I see. So why did Mr. Fafnir do that?
[12:29] Takiya
    I recommended all kinds
    of anime and games to him,
[12:32] Takiya
    and at some point he started drawing his own.
[12:35] T
    He's totally enjoying this world, isn't he?
[12:37] Takiya
    Well, Kobayashi-san,
    if you could handle sales,
[12:39] Takiya
    and Tohru-chan, if you could
    manage the line please.
[12:42] K
    Sure thing.
[12:44] T
    Hmph. All right then.
[12:47] Announce
    As of this moment,
     the third day of Comic Market has begun.

[12:59] T
    Wh-What's this?
[13:01] Staff
    Please don't run.
[13:04] Staff
    Please don't run.
[13:05] T
    Everyone's just barely on the verge of running!
SIGN    Desires
[13:09] T
    Something powerful is holding
    back their selfish impulses!
[13:13] T
    What in the world?!
SIGN    Water Dragon Shrine
[13:15] Participant
    The new one, please.
[13:16] K
    That's 1,000 yen.
SIGN    Water Dragon Shrine
[13:17] K
    Here, thank you very much.
[13:19] Participant
    The new one and the previous one, please.
SIGN    Water Dragon Shrine WA-91
     End of Line
[13:21] T
    The end of the line for
    Water Dragon Shrine starts here!
[13:24] T
    I'm sorry, please group closer together.
[13:30] T
    Hmm, for tens of thousands of
    individuals to be able take such
[13:35] T
    unified action without any
    prior exercises or training...
[13:38] T
    Something powerful must be influencing them.
[13:41] Participant
    Um, excuse me.
[13:43] T
    Yes?
[13:44] Participant
    Are you a cosplayer?
[13:46] T
    No, I'm not.
[13:47] Participant
    Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
[13:50] Participant
    I thought you were a cosplayer from abroad.
[13:52] T
    I'm a real maid!
[13:55] Participant
    Oh, I get it.
[13:57] Participant
    You're in character.
[13:58] Participant
    Wonderful.
[13:59] T
    No, I'm the real thing!
[14:01] Participant
    I understand your policy.
[14:03] Participant
    If you don't mind, could I please
    take your picture later?
[14:07] T
    I told you, I'm real!
[14:12] T
    The end of line starts here!
[14:16] T
    What incredible heat.
[14:18] T
    It feels like I'm in a fire drake's stomach.
[14:22] Clerk
    Thank you very much!
[14:23] T
    I can't believe it's this bad.
[14:26] T
    Comiket is not to be underestimated.
[14:29] T
    Still,
[14:31] T
    what in the world could be attracting this
    many people and keeping them all in check?
[14:37] T
    I don't get it.
[14:38] Takiya
    Tohru-chan!
[14:40] Takiya
    Hey, thanks for your help.
[14:42] Takiya
    Time to switch.
[14:43] T
    I've been waiting for this!
SIGN    Summer Homework, Science
    Please select one of the following.
    1) Sunflower Observation
    2) Bug Collecting
    3) Daily Weather
    4) Electric Circuits
    Sunflower Observation:
    Observe the growth of a sunflower every day!
    Bug Collecting: Catch bugs near convenience
    stores, parks, or nearby plazas!
    Paste the bugs you've gathered!
[14:52] Kanna
    Bug collecting...
[15:01] ---
    Crunchy...
SIGN    Grasshopper Moist
SIGN    Butterfly Flaky
SIGN    Cicada Crunchy
SIGN    Where did you find it?
SIGN    Let's Stick the Bugs We Found Here!
[15:10] T
    Uh, I think it's around this area...
[15:13] K
    What are you looking for?
[15:14] T
    Mr. Fafnir.
[15:16] T
    I figured I'd stop by since I'm on my break.
[15:23] Fafnir
    Say nothing.
[15:25] Fafnir
    I'll kill you.
[15:26] T
    You're the one who looks dead, Mr. Fafnir.
[15:29] K
    Well, that's what it's
    like for first-timers.
[15:32] T
    Can I have a look at your book?
[15:34] Fafnir
    Hmph, help yourself.
SIGN    Curse Anthology
[15:37] T
    Curse Anthology.
[15:41] T
    Th-These are...
[15:43] T
    You've printed real, effective curses!
[15:46] T
    Even how to inflict them...
[15:48] T
    You could curse someone to
    death if you read this!
[15:50] K
    Hey, hey!
[15:51] T
    Only 1,000 yen?! That's cheap!
[15:53] T
    This is a bargain!
[15:55] K
    Wait, it's way too dangerous
    to be selling that to others!
[16:01] T
    Still, there are a lot of cosplayers here.
[16:05] T
    There are a lot of humans dressed
    up like the races from my world.
[16:10] K
    They're having fun pretending to be
    characters from anime and manga.
[16:14] K
    You're practically the same, too, Tohru.
[16:16] T
    I am a proper maid!
[16:18] T
    No matter how you look at me,
    I'm your loyal sex slave!
[16:21] K
    That's not a maid.
[16:24] T
    Hmm?
[16:25] K
    What is it?
[16:27] T
    The sahuagin, goblin, and witch over there...
[16:30] K
    Oh, I wonder what they're from.
[16:32] T
    They're real.
[16:33] K
    Huh?
[16:34] T
    Those three are real non-humans.
[16:37] K
    Huh?!
[16:38] T
    Excuse me!
[16:40] T
    You're from the other world, right?
[16:42] Sahagin
    Oh? You, too?
[16:44] T
    Yes. What are you doing here today?
[16:47] Witch
    I came to spread my wings.
[16:50] Goblin
    I normally live disguised as a human,
[16:53] Goblin
    but coming to events like this
    lets me enjoy time in my real form.
[16:57] T
    I see.
[16:59] Sahagin
    Why not take the chance to
    enjoy your real form, too?
[17:04] T
    Oh, that's impossible.
[17:06] T
    I'm a dragon.
[17:09] Sahagin
    A dragon?!
[17:10] T
    Yes.
[17:10] Witch
    That damn monster?!
[17:12] T
    Yes?
[17:13] Goblin
    The one that could eat us all?!
[17:15] T
    Huh?!
[17:16] Three
    Run!
[17:18] Staff
    Please don't run!
[17:19] K
    Dragons must be doing some crazy things.
[17:21] T
    They're wrong.
[17:23] K
    Oh?
[17:23] T
    When dragons get hungry, we
    only eat as much as necessary...
[17:27] T
    And in the end, this world
    is the survival of the fittest, so...
[17:29] K
    You're not denying it, just giving
    supplementary explanation?
[17:32] Staff
    You there!
[17:33] Staff
    Come with me!
[17:35] Staff
    Your outfit's out!
[17:36] ---
    Huh? I, um...
[17:37] Staff
    Did you not read the participant guide?!
[17:38] T
    I guess Miss Lucoa came, too.
[17:40] ---
    Wait...
[17:41] K
    She never learns.
[17:43] T
    Now that I look closer,
    there's a lot more.
[17:46] T
    Beings in their original form, that is.
[17:48] K
    That many?
[17:49] T
    Yes.
[17:50] T
    Those with great presence have left records of
    their stays in this world on different levels,
[17:57] T
    like Mr. Fafnir and Miss Lucoa.
[18:11] T
    Uh, umm...
[18:20] T
    I'd like to return to my real form...
[18:23] T
    for a little bit.
[18:33] K
    As long as you keep it where
    it won't cause trouble, you can.
[18:41] T
    Sorry for the wait!
[18:45] K
    Oh, can I take your picture?
[18:49] T
    Yes!
[18:52] Participant
    Excuse me, can I take one, too?
[18:55] T
    Huh?
[18:55] Participant
    Oh, me, too!
[18:56] T
    Huh?!
[19:00] Participant
    Excuse me, can I get your
    eyes over here please?
[19:02] Participant
    Over here, too, please!
[19:03] K
    Oh, it's almost time.
[19:04] Participant
    Over here, too, please!
[19:06] K
    Oh, well.
[19:08] Participant
    Hello. I came like I promised.
[19:11] T
    Oh, hello.
[19:12] T
    Hey, are you okay?
[19:14] Participant
    Well, to be honest, it's pretty rough.
[19:18] Participant
    But I can hang in there.
[19:20] T
    Um, it seems like everyone here is being
    drawn to this place by something powerful.
[19:28] T
    Do you have any idea what that is?
[19:34] Participant
    Well...
[19:36] Participant
    I think it's something that only exists
    in this place in this moment right now.
[19:45] Participant
    And I think everyone loves that.
[19:58] T
    I see.
[20:01] T
    I understand that very well.
[20:03] Participant
    Excuse me.
[20:04] Participant
    Could you take your picture soon?
[20:06] Participant
    Oh, right.
[20:08] T
    Geh, there's another line forming?
[20:12] Announce
    As of now, Comic Market 90 is over.
[20:18] Announce
    Thank you for participating, everyone.
[20:21] Announce
    We'll see you again in winter!
[20:27] T
    I'm back.
[20:29] K
    Good to see you. We managed fine
    without you during the second half.
[20:34] T
    I see. I'm sorry for ditching you.
[20:37] K
    It's fine.
SIGN    We've Sold Out
[20:41] T
    Oh, Mr. Fafnir, how'd it go?
[20:45] T
    Poorly, it looks like.
[20:48] K
    So how was it? What'd you
    think of your first Comiket?
[20:52] T
    Well...
[20:58] T
    I reconfirmed my love for
    you, Miss Kobayashi.
[21:01] K
    Huh?
[21:04] Takiya
    Kobayashi-dono! Tohru-dono!
[21:05] Takiya
    You were a huge help today!
[21:06] Takiya
    I'm truly grateful!
[21:08] Takiya
    And I'd like to ask for your help
    as staff again this winter!
[21:11] T
    I'm done with this!
[21:16] Sahagin
    What will we print for our next thin book?
[21:18] Goblin
    How about a dragon maid girl?
[21:20] Witch
    Nice!
[21:25] K
    Free studies?
[21:28] Kanna
    My summer homework.
[21:30] Kanna
    What should I do for it?
[21:32] K
    Well, I think you should
    study something that you find
[21:36] K
    mysterious or would like to know more about.
[21:39] Kanna
    I see. Got it.
[21:46] K
    What are you doing?
[21:47] Kanna
    Studying you.
[21:50] K
    Huh?
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] Takiya
    Kobayashi-san, there's a lot of
    talk about Tohru-chan on the internet.
[23:29] K
    I bet.
[23:30] Takiya
    They mentioned you, too.
[23:32] Takiya
    They said there was a sales lady
    with dead-fish eyes.
[23:34] K
    Sorry about that!
[23:35] Takiya
    And they got turned on by those eyes.
SIGN    Episode 8
SIGN    New Dragon, Elma! (She's Finally Appearing, Huh?)
[23:37] K
    I just felt a chill.
[23:38] ---
    

E8 - New Dragon, Elma! (She's Finally Appearing, Huh?)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[00:11] K
    Hmm?
[00:12] Kanna
    Here.
SIGN    Field Trip Notice
[00:16] K
    A lunchbox?
[00:18] Kanna
    Yeah. Field trip, next week.
[00:22] K
    Oh?
[00:23] Kanna
    Make one!
[00:25] K
    Sure. What kind of lunch would you like?
[00:28] Tohru
    Oh, don't worry, Miss Kobayashi.
[00:30] Tohru
    I'll do that.
[00:32] Tohru
    I'm better at it.
[00:36] K
    Oh? Is that so?
[00:38] T
    Yes. I'm the best!
[00:41] K
    Hah! I'm better than the best.
[00:44] Tohru
    I'm even better than that.
[00:47] K
    Oh? Look at you talk, Tohru.
[00:54] T
    Seems like we'll have to settle this.
[00:59] K
    Don't underestimate the master
    of the house, Tohru!
[01:05] Kanna
    What's happening now?
[01:09] Both
    Field trip...
[01:11] Both
    lunch...
[01:17] Both
    competition! Three round match!
SIGN    Field Trip Lunch Competition Three Round Match!!
SIGN    - The Next Day -
SIGN    Commentator Judge Head Judge
SIGN    Commentator Judge Head Judge
[02:56] K
    You guys even prepared this set?
[03:02] Fafnir
    You'll each be making three dishes:
    a salad, a meat course, and a dessert.
[03:06] Fafnir
    Use all your skills and entertain me!
[03:10] K
    What is your character even
    supposed to be anymore?
[03:13] Lucoa
    The ingredients are your choice.
[03:15] Lucoa
    Stay within budget as you
    make your decisions.
[03:18] Lucoa
    Be sure not to strain
    Miss Kobayashi's wallet.
[03:23] K
    Hey!
[03:23] Lucoa
    Now then...
[03:27] Lucoa
    Begin!
[03:30] Lucoa
    They're both driven to win.
[03:32] Kanna
    Kobayashi's into it.
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
SIGN    Fresh Vegetables
SIGN    Vegetables, Fruits
SIGN    Vegetables, Fruits
SIGN    Oboro Tomatoes On Sale!
SIGN    Oboro Tomatoes
    Sweet Tomatoes!
SIGN    Meat
[03:49] Tohru
    Done!
[03:51] Lucoa
    First dish, complete!
[03:54] Lucoa
    Contestant Kobayashi's appears
    to just be cherry tomatoes.
[03:59] T
    Did you throw the match?!
[04:01] T
    Mine's a seafood and paprika Caesar salad!
[04:05] T
    There's no comparing the two.
[04:07] Fafnir
    Yeah, there's no need to compare them.
[04:10] Fafnir
    The winner of the first round is Kobayashi.
[04:13] T
    Wh-What?!
[04:18] T
    I can't accept that!
[04:19] T
    How did my special salad lose
    to these cherry tomatoes?!
[04:22] ---
    Here.
[04:24] Lucoa
    Allow me to explain.
[04:27] Lucoa
    That's because you didn't
    understand what a lunchbox is,
[04:33] Lucoa
    Contestant Tohru.
[04:34] Lucoa
    The amount you prepared
[04:37] Lucoa
    is too much!
SIGN    Shock!
[04:50] T
    I'll win next round!
[04:53] L
    Tohru.
[04:53] F
    Tohru.
[04:53] Kanna
    Lady Tohru.
[04:55] K
    Huh?! Bacon and eggs don't work?!
SIGN    Head Judge
[04:57] Kanna
    Hamburger's better.
[04:58] K
    But bacon and eggs are delicious, right?
[05:01] Kanna
    Hamburger's better!
SIGN    Head Judge
[05:03] K
    They're no good.
[05:04] K
    I often asked my parents
    to make them though...
[05:08] F
    Last is the dessert round.
[05:10] F
    Something in a cup, or a fruit, would work.
[05:13] F
    You're to bring one item that isn't cooked.
[05:15] K
    Yes.
[05:18] L
    Tohru.
[05:20] L
    This is unusual, isn't it?
[05:23] L
    For you and Miss Kobayashi to fight.
[05:27] T
    It is...
[05:29] T
    Why did I...?
[05:34] T
    I'm heading off.
[05:35] L
    Take care.
[05:38] F
    This is deplorable.
[05:41] L
    What's so bad?
[05:43] L
    I'm happy to see Tohru like this.
[05:47] T
    What should I bring for the third dish?
[05:51] T
    But I'm going to win!
[05:54] T
    Because...
[05:55] T
    Because!
[06:09] L
    This fight only happened because
    you've grown so close to each other.
[06:13] K
    Hmm?
[06:15] L
    Maybe I should call it pro-wrestling?
[06:18] K
    Every now and then is fine.
[06:22] K
    She may be a maid,
[06:24] K
    but she can be my friend, too.
[06:28] F
    Are you saying you and a
    dragon are equals, human?!
[06:36] K
    Yeah.
[06:39] K
    At least, Tohru and I both feel that way.
SIGN    Mini Jellies
[06:42] K
    That's why we fought today.
[06:45] K
    Huh?
[06:46] K
    Is Tohru still gone?
[06:51] F
    Close enough to fight, huh?
[06:55] F
    Hmph.
[06:56] F
    Disgusting.
[07:04] T
    I'm back!
[07:06] T
    Huh? Miss Kobayashi?
[07:08] K
    You're late.
[07:08] T
    I'm sorry.
[07:12] T
    I won't lose!
[07:14] K
    Yeah. I'm not going to lose either.
[07:16] T
    Oh, I need to take off my shoes.
[07:22] L
    Third round complete!
SIGN    Orange
[07:28] K
    What's that?
[07:30] T
    Oh, would you like some?
[07:31] K
    Sure.
[07:36] K
    It's good!
[07:37] K
    What's this? Where do they sell it?
[07:39] T
    Th-The shopping district, I guess?
[07:42] L
    She's done it now.
[07:44] F
    Yeah.
[07:45] K
    Wow, a fruit?
[07:47] K
    It's my first time seeing this.
[07:50] T
    I've won this round!
[07:55] K
    Hm?
[08:01] F
    Items from the other world
    are against the rules.
[08:09] K
    T-Tohru!
[08:20] K
    Whew, thanks for the meal.
[08:23] T
    Sure!
[08:24] K
    Even after everything,
    your food's still delicious, Tohru.
[08:27] T
    Jeez, you flatterer.
[08:30] T
    There's dessert, too.
[08:35] K
    What's wrong, Tohru?
[08:54] Elma
    Who would've thought I'd
    find you hiding out here...
[08:58] Elma
    Tohru!
SIGN    Elma
[09:01] K
    Our room...
[09:02] Elma
    Have you forgotten the laws?!
[09:04] Elma
    Dragons disrupt the order of this world!
[09:07] Elma
    You're returning with me!
[09:08] T
    Hmph, I see you're as damn stiff,
    strict, and persistent as ever.
[09:13] T
    I'm not going back.
[09:16] Kanna
    Lady Tohru and Lady Elma
    are on very bad terms.
[09:20] K
    Oh?
[09:21] Kanna
    Like cats and dogs.
[09:23] K
    Oh, did you learn that idiom at school?
[09:25] K
    Good girl.
[09:29] K
    They look like they're about to explode
    any second, but will things be okay?
[09:34] Kanna
    Last time they fought
[09:35] Kanna
    three islands disappeared.
[09:38] K
    That's dangerous!
[09:40] Elma
    Our power's equal,
[09:43] Elma
    but this time I'll settle the score.
[09:48] K
    I can't believe she can calmly let her
    stomach growl in this tense situation.
[09:52] K
    Dragons are imp—
[09:54] K
    Or maybe not. She looks embarrassed.
SIGN    Blush
[09:58] Elma
    You've being very distracting, human!
[10:01] K
    That's quite the attitude from
    someone who just destroyed my home.
[10:06] K
    Please follow our laws before you
    try protecting order in this world.
[10:10] Elma
    Huh? Oh, um...
[10:10] K
    Even Tohru wouldn't do something like this.
[10:14] K
    Probably.
[10:14] Elma
    I'm sorry!
[10:16] Elma
    Wait, why am I the one apologizing?!
[10:20] K
    She's easily influenced.
[10:21] K
    Hey, she doesn't seem like a bad person,
     so why don't you get along?
[10:26] T
    We're from different factions.
[10:28] T
    Not all dragons are united in thought.
[10:31] T
    There's the harmony faction
    that values law and order,
[10:33] T
    the chaos faction that yearns
    for chaos and destruction,
[10:37] T
    and the spectating faction that doesn't
    work with either group or each other.
[10:40] K
    Wow.
[10:41] T
    So Elma belongs to the harmony faction,
    and I'm with the chaos faction,
[10:45] T
    so we oppose each other.
[10:47] K
    So you're one of the villains.
[10:50] T
    No, that's not true.
[10:52] T
    I'm a good dragon,
    on my best behavior in this world.
[10:55] K
    That sounded forced.
[10:57] Elma
    Anyway!
[10:58] Elma
    I'm taking you home, Tohru!
[11:00] Elma
    By force, if I have to!
[11:02] Elma
    Try it!
[11:03] Elma
    I'll eliminate you from
    this world without a trace!
[11:07] K
    Take this somewhere else!
[11:11] T
    I've prepared another dimension,
    so we'll do this there.
[11:15] T
    What's wrong?
[11:18] Elma
    Nothing.
[11:19] Elma
    I'm surprised to see the fiendish
    Tohru listening to a human.
[11:22] Elma
    What in the world happened?
[11:26] Elma
    Hurry up!
[11:29] K
    Ah!
[11:29] K
    You cheated!
[11:31] T
    I simply respected order like she said.
[11:34] T
    It was a peaceful resolution.
[11:36] T
    Now, now, time to fix what she destroyed.
[11:40] K
    By the way, where'd you send her?
[11:43] T
    The field Kanna and I played in before.
[11:48] Elma
    Where am I?
SIGN    - The Next Day -
[11:53] E
    How dare you trick me!
[11:55] T
    You're back again?
[11:56] Elma
    I can't believe you sent
    me to another continent!
[11:58] T
    Let's stop this.
[12:00] T
    I'm happy as long as I can quietly
    be a maid in this world.
[12:05] K
    Tohru? What's going on?
[12:07] T
    Would you please understand?
[12:08] Elma
    Like I'd believe you!
[12:10] Elma
    You're planning to take over
    this world, aren't you?!
[12:13] T
    I'm—
[12:13] Elma
    Be quiet!
[12:14] Elma
    I will take you—
[12:17] K
    Oh, my.
[12:20] K
    Haven't you eaten anything since yesterday?
[12:23] Elma
    I-I'm not from this world,
    so I can't interfere...
SIGN    Cream Bread
[12:32] K
    Oh, something like this should be all right.
[12:35] K
    Here, want some? It's cream bread.
[12:37] Elma
    W-Well, I'll kindly take you up on the
    offer to help restore my strength.
[12:49] Elma
    What's this?!
[12:50] Elma
    What is this? This is super good!
[12:52] Elma
    It's melting in my mouth!
[12:56] Elma
    All right! I'm energized now!
[12:57] Elma
    Time for our rematch, Tohru!
[13:00] T
    If you leave, I'll give you all of these.
SIGN    Cream Bread
[13:05] Elma
    Sorry for the intrusion!
[13:22] Shouta
    Huge balls are...
[13:25] Shouta
    balls are...!
[13:31] ---
    
SIGN    Episode 8
SIGN    New Dragon, Elma! (She's Finally Appearing, Huh?)
[13:41] K
    Hm?
[13:42] K
    Huh?
[13:44] Elma
    I'll be working with you starting today.
[13:46] Elma
    My name is Joui Elma.
[13:49] Elma
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
[13:51] K
    No way!
[13:52] K
    Wh-What's going on? Why are you here?
[13:55] Elma
    I could ask you the same, human.
SIGN    Emergency Exit
[13:58] K
    This is where I work.
[14:00] K
    Hmm?
[14:01] K
    So this is just a coincidence? Why?
[14:04] Elma
    I-I'm investigating.
[14:06] Elma
    I'm investigating the cultural
    standards to see if beings from
[14:09] Elma
    the other world really can integrate here.
[14:11] K
    I see.
[14:12] K
    She did say you were with
    the harmony faction.
[14:15] K
    But hey, can you do this job?
[14:18] K
    You can't use magic, you know.
[14:20] Elma
    Silly question!
[14:22] Elma
    There's no way I can't do human labor.
[14:25] Elma
    Just watch me.
[14:29] Elma
    What the heck is this?
[14:30] Elma
    I can't understand any of it.
[14:32] Elma
    What is this box?
[14:33] Elma
    What is everyone doing with them?
[14:36] Elma
    Oh? Something popped up.
[14:38] K
    Then you do this.
[14:40] Elma
    Oh!
[14:42] K
    Then push this.
[14:45] Elma
    Human, you do some pretty difficult work.
[14:49] Elma
    But I've memorized romanized
    character input or whatever, too,
[14:53] Elma
    so I won't stay behind anymore!
[14:55] K
    That so?
[14:56] Elma
    Now then, when will I earn
    my pay for today's work?
[15:00] K
    Oh, uh, a month from now.
[15:03] Elma
    I can't receive it tomorrow?
[15:06] K
    No. We total out at the end of
    the month, and today's the first.
[15:10] K
    Oh?
[15:12] Elma
    What do I do for rent and food?
[15:15] K
    Well, if you commute from the other world...
[15:18] K
    Oh, could it be that you can't go back?
[15:21] K
    Ah...
[15:23] Elma
    I don't possess enough power to
    open the gate between worlds.
SIGN    She came through the gate Tohru opened.
[15:28] K
    I thought your power was equal to Tohru's?
[15:31] Elma
    I'm just as strong.
[15:32] Elma
    But we were born different.
[15:34] K
    Hmm.
[15:35] K
    Oh, wait.
SIGN    Takiguchi Butchery
[15:40] K
    Here.
[15:41] K
    Well, I'm sure you've got a lot
    on your plate, but hang in there.
[15:44] K
    If you're going to be working with me,
    I'll have you learn a lot more.
[15:49] Elma
    You have my gratitude.
[15:53] K
    Those are hot, so be careful.
[15:55] K
    Later.
[16:01] Elma
    So good!
[16:07] K
    I guess I should keep quiet
    about meeting Elma today.
[16:11] K
    I'm home!
[16:12] T
    Welcome home!
[16:14] T
    For tonight's dinner...
[16:18] K
    What? What?
[16:20] T
    There's a strange smell on you.
[16:22] K
    A dog?
[16:23] T
    It's a dragon!
[16:25] T
    Are you secretly cheating on me?!
[16:27] K
    I'm not! Today at work...
[16:29] T
    An office romance?!
[16:31] K
    You've picked up another weird phrase.
[16:44] Shouta
    Can't breathe...
[16:46] Shouta
    Can't breathe...
[16:54] Elma
    Miss Kobayashi!
[16:56] Elma
    Thanks for your work today!
[16:58] K
    Thanks to you, too.
[16:59] K
    You've learned a lot about
    PC operation, huh, Elma?
[17:02] Elma
    Leave it to me!
[17:04] Elma
    I'll prove myself useful at this job.
[17:06] K
    Well, you've still got a ways to go.
[17:08] Elma
    Oh, Miss Kobayashi, sweet chestnuts!
[17:10] Elma
    Let's have some sweet
    chestnuts on the way home!
[17:12] Elma
    They're delicious!
[17:14] K
    Sure, sure.
[17:15] T
    Why, you...
SIGN    - Sunday -
[17:19] K
    It's been a while since my last day off.
[17:22] K
    I want to take it easy today.
[17:23] T
    Yes, yes, pardon me.
[17:26] T
    I'll clean everything so you can enjoy your
    day off in a clean room, Miss Kobayashi!
[17:32] K
    Huh?
SIGN    Kobayashi Kanna
[17:34] K
    I'm grateful for that, but...
[17:36] K
    What are you doing?
[17:43] T
    How's that?!
[17:44] T
    When I get serious,
     I can make a room spotless of all dust!
[17:52] T
    It's brand new, as if Shiva passed through!
[17:54] K
    Even the furniture's...
[17:56] T
    A space for relaxation
    doesn't need any of that!
[17:59] T
    Please enjoy sleeping to your heart's
    content in this spacious room!
[18:04] K
    As if I can!
[18:05] K
    Put it all back!
[18:08] K
    Good grief.
[18:09] Kanna
    Kobayashi.
[18:12] Kanna
    I'm hungry.
[18:13] K
    Oh, all right.
[18:15] K
    Let's have breakfast.
[18:16] T
    Hold it right there!
[18:18] T
    I'll make breakfast,
[18:20] T
    be it a full course meal
    or an imperial feast!
[18:22] T
    Oh, shall I slaughter a cow?
[18:25] K
    Let me have a light breakfast.
[18:27] T
    Understood!
[18:29] T
    Done!
[18:31] T
    Sandwiches!
[18:32] Both
    Oh!
[18:33] K
    They look good.
[18:34] K
    What meat's in—
[18:37] K
    Tohru.
[18:39] K
    Show me your butt!
[18:40] T
    You want me to satisfy your lust,
     not just your appetite?!
[18:44] K
    Are you an idiot?!
[18:45] T
    Yes.
[18:46] K
    I knew it.
[18:47] K
    Tail, again?
[18:53] K
    What's going on?
[18:56] T
    What do you mean?
[18:58] K
    You're oddly gung-ho.
[19:02] T
    You can't tell?
[19:04] K
    I can't.
[19:06] K
    You're spinning your wheels though.
[19:08] K
    It's like you've reverted to how you
     were when you first came to me.
[19:14] T
    Oh, coming.
[19:15] K
    Oh, it's fine. I'll get it.
[19:18] K
    Coming.
[19:19] Elma
    Miss Kobayashi! Good morning!
[19:22] K
    Elma?
[19:23] K
    What are you here for?
[19:25] Elma
    Well, you know.
[19:26] Elma
    You're always helping me out.
[19:28] Elma
    So I brought something to thank you.
[19:30] K
    What's this?
[19:31] Elma
    A protective charm.
[19:33] Elma
    It turned out well, so.
[19:35] K
    Wow, it's handmade? Thanks.
[19:39] K
    Ah...
[19:40] K
    So that's it.
[19:41] Elma
    Oh! Tohru!
[19:43] Elma
    Today I'm taking you ba—
[19:45] Tohru
    Be gone, Elma!
[20:02] Tohru
    Miss Kobayashi.
[20:07] Tohru
    I'm selfish.
[20:11] Tohru
    Even so, I'm holding back
    and putting up with it a lot.
[20:17] T
    Yet, you're being mean.
[20:20] T
    I work hard too,
[20:21] T
    wanting lots and lots of praise.
[20:25] T
    Wanting you to pet my head a bit.
[20:34] K
    Tohru.
[20:36] K
    I'm not used to being wanted.
[20:40] K
    That's never happened to me before.
[20:44] K
    I don't have a clue what to do about it.
[20:47] K
    Often I think human relationships
    are just confusing.
[20:52] K
    Sometimes I even put distance
    between myself and others.
[20:56] K
    I've had friends, but never close friends.
[21:03] K
    So here.
[21:06] K
    Well, um...
[21:10] K
    I can't make it any clearer than this.
[21:13] K
    Take the hint, take the hint.
[21:18] T
    Yes, I'll take it.
[21:26] T
    Oh, right.
[21:27] T
    I'll make you a protective charm, too.
[21:29] T
    You'll gain the protection of evil gods!
[21:31] T
    It'll be great!
[21:32] K
    I don't need that.
[21:49] Lucoa
    You're surprisingly forward.
[21:51] Shouta
    I'm not!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] E
    Tohru! You're too dangerous!
[23:29] E
    You know that yourself!
[23:30] T
    Elma, you...
[23:31] E
    What?
[23:32] T
    For now, please put down the
    cream bread you're holding.
[23:35] E
    Th-They're good, though!
SIGN    Episode 9
SIGN    Sports Festival! (There's No Twist Or Anything)
[23:37] T
    I don't care.

E9 - Sports Festival! (There's No Twist Or Anything)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:09] Teacher
    The sports festival is coming up soon.
SIGN    Sports Festival
[00:11] Teacher
    Please be sure to have your guardian look
    over the information we just handed out.
SIGN    Sports Festival Notice
[00:17] Kanna
    Saikawa, what's a sports festival?
[00:20] S
    Wow, didn't you have them
     in your country, Kanna-san?
[00:23] S
    A sports festival is a very fun event!
[00:27] S
    There's running,
[00:28] Kanna
    Running?
[00:29] S
    ball-tossing,
[00:30] Kanna
    Ball-tossing?
[00:31] Saikawa
    tug-o-war,
[00:32] Kanna
    Tug-o-war?
[00:34] Saikawa
    and lots of other events where
    the whole class works together!
[00:37] Kanna
    Oh!
[00:38] S
    Mothers and fathers come watch, too.
[00:41] S
    You can eat lunch with them, as well.
[00:43] Kanna
    Oh!
[00:44] Saikawa
    You're great at sports, so I'm sure
    you'll be a heroine of the day.
[00:48] Saikawa
    Then your mother will praise you!
[00:51] Kanna
    Oh!
[00:54] K
    Work that day. Can't.
[02:28] Kanna
    Kobayashi. Take the day off.
[02:32] K
    I can't do that.
[02:34] T
    Kanna, Miss Kobayashi's in the
    middle of her death march
[02:36] T
    and on the verge of facing Hades.
[02:38] T
    Give it up.
[02:40] Kanna
    No!
[02:41] T
    Also, what is a sports festival?
[02:44] Kanna
    You train with everyone to
    defeat strong opponents.
[02:47] K
    No, I don't think that's quite right.
[02:50] Kanna
    Kobayashi, come!
[02:53] Kanna
    Defeat Hades!
[02:55] T
    Don't be selfish.
[02:57] T
    At least I'll be sure to come for you.
[02:59] Kanna
    No.
[03:01] T
    Why does it have to be Miss Kobayashi?
[03:06] Kanna
    Saikawa said mothers and
     fathers come with us.
[03:10] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, you're like a big sister.
[03:13] Kanna
    Kobayashi's like a mother.
[03:16] K
    A mother? I'm not that old... Wait.
[03:20] K
    Some of my old classmates
    do have children already...
[03:24] T
    Miss Kobayashi, hang in there!
[03:27] K
    Well, at any rate, I can't.
[03:29] K
    Sorry, but you'll have to
     make do with Tohru.
[03:31] T
    Make do?
[03:32] Kanna
    Forget it!
[03:33] T
    Ah, Kanna!
[03:38] K
    Is it that important whether
    a parent shows up or not?
[03:41] K
    For one thing, I'm not exactly
    Kanna-chan's mother anyway.
[03:45] T
    But Kanna does tend to
    view you as her mother.
[03:51] K
    I'm not that great though.
[03:54] K
    I never had both my parents
    come to a sports festival.
[03:59] K
    They were busy with work.
[04:01] K
    I understood they were
    supporting our family, too.
[04:05] T
    Kanna's parents basically
    gave her free rein.
[04:08] T
    They felt a dragon would grow
    up strong on its own.
[04:11] T
    They probably told her to live strong
    since she bears the name Kanna Kamui.
[04:18] T
    But Kanna's pulled many different pranks
    to try and get her parents' attention.
[04:22] T
    To the point she was
    banished to this world...
[04:25] T
    So I think that's why she
    wants you to spoil her.
[04:30] K
    Even if you say that...
[04:33] K
    Hmm...
[04:39] Saikawa
    Good morning, Kanna-san.
[04:41] Saikawa
    What's wrong?
[04:42] Kanna
    Kobayashi won't come to the sports festival.
[04:45] S
    Wow, really?
[04:47] S
    But there's more to the
    sports festival than that!
[04:50] S
    It's still fun working together
    with everyone to be victorious!
[04:54] Kanna
    Victorious...
[04:55] Fukushima
    Your "working together"
    sounds fishy, Saikawa-san.
[04:59] Saikawa
    Shut up! You got a problem with that?!
[05:01] Fuku
    No, no problem. I just don't believe you.
[05:04] Saikawa
    That is basically having a problem with it!
[05:06] Takiya
    Sports festival?
[05:08] K
    Yeah.
[05:09] Takiya
    That date overlaps directly
    with our delivery date.
[05:13] K
    Well, I'm wondering if there's really
    any need to go in the first place.
[05:17] Takiya
    You don't want to?
[05:19] K
    Well, I think it would be nice if I could go.
[05:24] K
    Hmm? What?
[05:26] Takiya
    It's my first time seeing you
    worry about something like this.
[05:29] K
    Really?
[05:32] K
    Oh, I guess so.
[05:35] Takiya
    Well, I think it's more a question
    of do you want to go, rather than can you.
[05:40] K
    If I want to go, huh?
[05:43] T
    Lalala, I'm a cute maid!
[05:50] Kanna
    I'm home.
[05:51] T
    Oh, welcome home.
[05:54] T
    Kanna, are you still in a bad mood?
[05:56] T
    Would you give—
[05:57] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, perception blocking.
[06:00] T
    Huh?
[06:00] Kanna
    Place it on me.
[06:03] T
    Oh.
[06:33] K
    I'm home.
[06:35] T
    Welcome home.
[06:38] T
    I'll get your dinner ready.
[06:40] K
    Yeah.
[06:42] Kanna
    Kobayashi.
[06:43] K
    Hmm?
[06:44] Kanna
    It's all right if you don't
    come to the sports festival.
[06:48] K
    Huh?
[06:49] Kanna
    It'll still be fun working together
    with everyone in my class.
[06:52] Kanna
    So, good luck with your work, Kobayashi.
[06:56] K
    Oh, sure.
[06:57] Kanna
    Good night.
[07:02] T
    It seems that Kanna went to your work
    today and was secretly observing you.
[07:08] K
    Hmm...
[07:11] K
    I've felt this feeling before.
[07:15] K
    Oh, right.
[07:17] K
    It's the same guilt I felt then...
[07:21] K
    Tohru.
[07:22] T
    Yes?
[07:24] K
    Starting tomorrow,
    I'll be getting home even later.
[07:27] T
    You mean...?
[07:30] T
    All right!
SIGN    Boys Relay
SIGN    Girls Relay
[08:03] Class
    Thirty-five!
[08:04] Class
    Thirty-six!
[08:05] Class
    Thirty-seven!
[08:06] Class
    Thirty-eight!
[08:07] Class
    Thirty-nine!
[08:08] Class
    For—
[08:09] Class
    Shoot!
[08:10] Class
    So close!
[08:12] Teacher
    Okay. That's enough for today.
[08:15] Teacher
    You're all able to jump a lot now, huh?
[08:18] Teacher
    That's incredible.
[08:19] Teacher
    Let's keep it up and work hard toward
    winning the sports festival!
[08:23] All
    Yes!
[08:24] Saikawa
    Kanna-san, let's do our best!
[08:27] Kanna
    Okay.
[08:34] Takiya
    You're working hard.
[08:35] K
    Yeah.
[08:36] Takiya
    Planning to go to the sports festival?
[08:38] K
    Mhmm.
[08:40] Takiya
    Decided you want to go?
[08:41] K
    No.
[08:43] K
    Decided I ought to go.
[08:47] Takiya
    Want some help with your work?
[08:49] K
    Huh?
[08:50] K
    Oh, uh...
[08:52] K
    Yeah, could you?
[08:54] Takiya
    Okay, next night drinking is on you.
[08:57] K
    Sure, sure.
SIGN    Sports Festival!!
[09:10] K
    I'll be coming tomorrow.
[09:13] Kanna
    Really?
[09:14] K
    Yeah, really.
[09:16] Kanna
    You beat Hades?
[09:18] K
    Yeah, I did.
[09:23] Kanna
    Kobayashi, I love you!
[09:24] K
    Whoa.
[09:25] T
    My goodness.
[09:27] T
    Kanna's still such a child.
[09:34] Elma
    What do they expect me to do?!
[09:37] Elma
    What do I do?!
[09:39] Elma
    I could go for both!
[09:41] Elma
    No, that would go over
    my daily limit! I can't!
[09:45] Elma
    But, still!
SIGN    Chestnut Cream This Season Only! Sweet Potato This Season Only!
[09:49] Clerk
    Umm, ma'am, if you could please...
[09:51] Elma
    I-I know!
[09:53] Elma
    I'll make my choice now!
SIGN    Episode 9
SIGN    Sports Festival! (There's No Twist Or Anything)
SIGN    43rd Oborozuka Elementary Sports Festival
[09:59] Teacher
    The 43rd Oborozuka Elementary
    Sports Festival will now begin!
SIGN    43rd Oborozuka Elementary Sports Festival
[10:06] Teacher
    First on the program is our opening parade.
SIGN    First Grade
SIGN    Second Grade
SIGN    Third Grade
[10:20] T
    Oh, there's Kanna.
[10:22] K
    Where, where?
[10:26] T
    She's looking our way. Hey!
[10:28] K
    Yeah, she would be curious.
[10:31] Mother
    Riko!
[10:33] Nae
    Little Miss!
[10:34] Both
    Do your best!
[10:38] Lucoa
    Shouta!
[10:40] T
    Oh, Miss Lucoa's here, too.
[10:40] L
    I'm rooting for you!
[10:41] L
    Do your best!
[10:45] 6th Graders
    The pledge:
[10:46] 6th Graders
    We athletes hereby pledge to honor
    the spirit of good sportsmanship
[10:51] 6th Graders
    and compete fair and square with
    everyone until the very end!
[10:57] Teacher
    Now, fifth on our program is the
    three-legged race by the third graders.
[11:03] T
    Kanna, do your best!
[11:05] K
    In moderation!
[11:06] Mother
    Riko! Fight on!
[11:08] Nae
    Do your best!
[11:10] Teacher
    Ready!
[11:16] Saikawa
    O-Okay, let's tie our legs together.
[11:21] Kanna
    Done.
[11:22] Saikawa
    Th-Thanks, Kanna-san.
[11:25] Saikawa
    Now we hold each other's shoulders.
[11:27] Kanna
    Yeah.
[11:30] Teacher
    Okay, next pair.
[11:32] Kanna
    Come on, Saikawa. It's our turn.
[11:40] S
    I-I'm sorry, Kanna-san.
    I was just too happy.
[11:44] Kanna
    It's all right, Saikawa.
    Let's do our best next time.
[11:47] Mother
    Jeez, Riko, what are you doing?
[11:50] Mother
    
SIGN    Third Grade
    
     Class 1 Class 2
    
    Class 3 Class 4
SIGN    Fifth Grade
    
    Class 1
    
    Class 3
[11:52] Teacher
    Seventh on our program is the
    fifth graders' treasure hunt.
[12:04] L
    Huh? Me?
SIGN    World Class
[12:12] Teacher
    Yes, okay.
[12:15] Student
    Shouta-kun, your older sister's incredible!
[12:18] Shouta
    Y-Yeah.
[12:20] Teacher
    We'll now be taking a break for lunch.
[12:23] Teacher
    Students and parents,
    please enjoy your lunch together.
[12:27] Teacher
    Be careful of heat stroke and
    be sure to drink plenty of water.
[12:31] Kanna
    Oh, it looks good!
[12:34] K
    It's normal.
[12:37] T
    I'm not who I used to be anymore.
[12:39] Kanna
    Thanks for the food!
[12:42] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, this is good.
[12:44] T
    Thank you.
[12:46] T
    Miss Kobayashi, here, ah.
[12:48] K
    Tohru, what kind of meat is this?
[12:51] T
    Tch.
[12:51] K
    Knew it.
[12:53] Kanna
    Ah.
[12:56] Kanna
    But this lunch really is good.
[12:59] T
    Thank you, Kanna.
[13:00] T
    Eat plenty, and give it your best today.
[13:02] Kanna
    Yeah.
[13:03] Kanna
    We'll turn things around after this.
[13:12] Elma
    What do they expect me to do?
[13:15] Elma
    What do I do?
[13:17] Elma
    How am I supposed to choose just one
    from over ten different combinations?
[13:22] Elma
    I could go for all the variations!
[13:24] Elma
    No, then I wouldn't last.
[13:28] Elma
    But, still!
SIGN    Pear | Grape | Pumpkin | Sweet Potato | Chestnut
SIGN    20% off! Double Scoops!
    This Season Only!
[13:32] Elma
    There's the pumpkin and sweet potato.
[13:32] Clerk
    Umm, ma'am, if you could please...
[13:34] Elma
    Wait, chestnut's hard to pass up.
[13:36] Elma
    Still, the surprising pairing of grape
    and pear would be good, wouldn't it?

[13:40] Elma
    No, wait. Chestnut...
[13:42] Teacher
    Now we'll be starting this
    afternoon's segment.
[13:46] Teacher
    15th in our program, the
    third graders' jump rope.
[13:51] Teacher
    Now to begin.
[13:52] Teacher
    Ready, set!
[13:54] Teacher
    One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
[13:58] T
    Good luck!
[13:59] K
    That's it!
[14:01] Mother
    Riko, fight on!
[14:01] Teacher
    eight, nine, ten, eleven...
[14:03] Nae
    Do your best, Little Miss!
[14:05] T
    Twenty-two, twenty-three...
[14:07] Class 2
    twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six,
    twenty-seven, twenty-eight...
[14:07] Class 1
    Ah!
[14:09] Teacher
    Classes 1 and 4 tripped on their ropes!
[14:12] Both
    Forty-two, forty-three...
[14:13] C3
    Ah!
[14:14] Teach
    Class 3's tripped on their rope!
[14:14] C2
    forty-four, forty-five, forty-six,
    forty-seven, forty-eight...
[14:16] Teach
    Class 2's amazing, they're still going!
[14:19] C2
    Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven,
    fifty-eight, fifty-nine...
[14:23] Both
    Keep at it!
[14:24] C2
    sixty, sixty-one...
[14:24] Mother
    Keep it up!
[14:26] Teach
    Done!
[14:28] Teach
    Class 3-2 wins!
[14:30] Teach
    They even jumped 60 times!
[14:30] T
    Miss Kobayashi, we won!
[14:33] K
    Yeah, that was impressive.
[14:36] Teach
    19th on our program,
    the fifth grade boys' cavalry battle.
[14:42] L
    Shouta, do your best!
[14:46] L
    Fight on!
[14:51] Teach
    Begin!
[14:53] C2
    Do it!
[14:55] L
    Go, Shouta!
[14:58] L
    Now!
[15:01] L
    Get them!
[15:05] T
    Finished!
[15:07] T
    Class 3 with an overwhelming
    victory in the cavalry battle!
[15:11] Student
    Shouta-kun, your older
    sister's really incredible!
[15:14] Shouta
    Y-Yeah.
[15:16] Teacher
    20th in our program,
    the third graders' tug-o-war!
[15:20] Teacher
    Class 1 and 2, ready!
[15:26] Teacher
    Begin!
[15:30] K
    Kanna-chan!
[15:31] T
    Fight on!
[15:32] Mother
    Don't lose!
[15:34] Nae
    Little Miss!
[15:45] Teacher
    That's enough! Class 2 wins!
[15:50] Kanna
    Saikawa, we did it. We won.
[15:52] T
    Hooray!
[15:53] K
    Yeah, you did well out there.
[15:55] T
    Keep this pace up!
[16:32] T
    Kanna's class is in second place now.
[16:35] K
    Yeah, they'll be in first
    after this next one.
[16:37] T
    Oh, it's starting.
[16:39] Teach
    32nd in the program,
    the third graders' relay!
[16:44] S
    Kanna-san, let's take first place and win!
[16:50] Teach
    This will be the last event
    for the third graders.
[16:53] Teach
    Everyone, please give them
    more support than ever!
[16:57] Teach
    First female runners, take your positions.
[17:01] Teach
    Ready!
[17:03] S
    Iida-san, do you best!
[17:05] Kanna
    Iida, fight on!
[17:06] Teach
    All the classes have started off.
[17:09] Teach
    Right now Class 1 holds the lead. Behind
    them are Class 2, Class 4, and Class 3.
[17:18] Teach
    The baton's passed to the second runner.
[17:21] Teach
    Class 1 still remains in the lead.
[17:21] Kanna
    Makishima, keep it up!
[17:24] Kanna
    Saikawa, do your best!
[17:26] S
    Of course.
[17:27] S
    I'll pass you the baton from first place!
[17:30] Teach
    Class 1 and 2 are neck and neck!
[17:33] Teach
    Everyone, give it your best!
[17:38] S
    Here I go!
[17:41] Teach
    Wow, Class 2's really fast!
[17:43] Teach
    They've passed Class 1!
[17:49] Teach
    Ah! Class 2's dropped the baton!
[18:06] Teach
    Class 1 is currently running in the lead.
[18:08] Teach
    Behind them are Class 4,
    Class 3, and Class 2!
[18:23] S
    I'm sorry!
[18:25] Kanna
    Leave it to me.
[18:35] Teach
    Their anchor's taking off!
[18:37] Teach
    Class 2's really fast!
[18:39] Teach
    She's passing the others one after another!
[18:50] S
    Kanna-san.
[18:54] Both
    Just one more!
[18:55] Both
    Do your best!
[18:59] Class 2
    Go!
[19:04] Teach
    Goal!
[19:06] Teach
    Class 2 wins!
[19:08] Class2
    We did it!
[19:14] Both
    Kanna-chan!
[19:16] Iida
    That was incredible, Kanna-chan!
[19:18] Shima
    You were so cool!
[19:22] S
    K-Kanna-san.
[19:24] S
    Umm, I'm sorry. I messed up...
[19:30] Kanna
    We won because you closed
    the gap as much as you did.
[19:36] Kanna
    Thanks, Saikawa.
[19:41] S
    Kanna-san!
SIGN    Class 2
SIGN    Entrance 43rd Oborozuka Elementary
[20:04] K
    Nice work out there, Kanna-chan.
[20:07] K
    Thanks, Kobayashi.
[20:11] ---
    You worked hard out there.
[20:13] Kanna
    Yeah. We won because everyone
    in our class worked hard.
[20:17] T
    But you must feel unsatisfied,
    not being able to go all out.
SIGN    Congratulations Gold
[20:22] Kanna
    That's fine. It's better
    being with everyone else.
[20:27] Kanna
    Kobayashi.
[20:28] K
    Hmm?
[20:29] Kanna
    Thank you for coming today.
[20:36] K
    You're welcome.
[20:39] Kanna
    Thank you for lunch too, Lady Tohru.
[20:42] T
    You're welcome.
[20:43] T
    It was hardly anything at all.
[20:46] K
    Participating in a sports
    festival as a guardian, huh?
[20:50] K
    My life's really changed.
[20:54] K
    When did I change this much?
[21:00] Kanna
    Still, it would be nice to let
    loose a little bit more today.
SIGN    Congratulations Gold
[21:04] T
    Right?
[21:06] T
    How about it, Kanna? It's been a while.
[21:08] Kanna
    You're on.
[21:09] L
    Let me in, too!
[21:11] T
    Great! Shall all three of us, then?
[21:14] Kanna
    Mhmm.
[21:15] T
    Is that all right, Miss Kobayashi?
[21:17] K
    Well, as long as you do it somewhere
    where you won't bother anyone.
[21:20] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, where should we do it?
[21:22] T
    Let's use the same place we did last time.
[21:25] K
    Good grief.
[21:26] L
    I'm itching to go!
[21:38] Elma
    Which should I choose?
[21:40] Elma
    Which should I choose?
[21:42] Elma
    Which should I...?
[21:44] Elma
    Which?
SIGN    Melon Flavor Kids' Toothpaste Grape Flavor
    Strawberry Flavor
[21:47] Elma
    Why must the products of man trouble me so?
[21:51] Elma
    Humans are frightening!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] J
    I'm the maid Josie,
    servant of the Saikawa family.
[23:29] L
    I'm Shouta's familiar, Lucoa.
[23:32] J
    Familiar?
[23:34] L
    Yeah.
[23:35] J
    It seems we both have rather unique hobbies.
SIGN    Episode 10
SIGN    Troupe Dragon, On Stage! (They Had A Troupe Name, Huh)

E10 - Troupe Dragon, On Stage! (They Had A Troupe Name, Huh)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] Kanna
    Oh!
SIGN    Cafe
[00:08] T
    Christmas, huh?
[00:09] T
    It pains me to celebrate the
    birth of that guy's son,
SIGN    Realty
[00:13] T
    but it does sound like a fun event.
[00:16] Butcher
    Oh, Tohru-chan!
[00:18] T
    Hello.
[00:19] T
    Huh? Are you hurt?
[00:22] Butcher
    I am. I was practicing for the nearby
    old folk home's Christmas Eve show,
SIGN    Roast Chicken
[00:27] Butcher
    but I hurt my leg badly.
[00:28] Kanna
    Oh!
[00:29] T
    How frail.
[00:31] Butcher
    Right!
[00:32] Butcher
    Could you put on a show
    in my stead, Tohru-chan?
[00:36] T
    Huh?
SIGN    Taxes Included in Prices
[00:37] Butcher
    I feel bad since the folks in the
    home were looking forward to it.
[00:41] T
    You want us to?
[00:43] T
    Is that all right?
[00:44] Butcher
    Of course!
[00:46] Butcher
    You're the pride of our shopping district.
[00:51] T
    All right!
[00:53] T
    Leave it to me.
[02:27] T
    So that's how things turned out.
[02:29] K
    Are you sure?
[02:31] T
    Of course!
[02:32] K
    I'd like to help out too,
    but right now I've got work...
[02:37] T
    Just leave it to me
[02:39] T
    and focus on your work, Miss Kobayashi.
[02:42] K
    If you say so.
[02:45] T
    Now's the time to call for help
    from my reliable friends.
[02:50] T
    Everyone, let's do our best!
[02:53] All
    Yeah!
[02:54] ---
    Y-Yeah...
[02:56] Elma
    Hey, wait!
[02:57] T
    What is it?
[02:58] E
    I was told I could eat my fill
    of candy if I came here.
[03:03] E
    I even made time in my schedule
    during this busy time of the year!
[03:06] T
    I've heard from Miss Kobayashi, Elma,
[03:09] T
    that you're still useless at work.
[03:11] T
    And that they announced you wouldn't
    be useful in this busy period.
[03:17] E
    B-But I can touch type now!
[03:20] E
    And I can't afford to
    interfere with this world...
[03:24] T
    You're already interfering plenty.
[03:28] Saikawa
    Umm, where's Kanna-san's mom?
[03:31] T
    Unlike Elma, Miss Kobayashi's busy.
[03:34] T
    So let's do this on our own.
[03:37] Lucoa
    You heard her.
[03:38] Fafnir
    Boring.
[03:40] Fafnir
    I heard something important was going on,
    but we're just putting on a show for humans?
[03:46] Lucoa
    Well, why not?
[03:48] Lucoa
    Let's watch over her.
[03:50] F
    Hmph.
SIGN    Show Ideas
[03:51] E
    So?
[03:52] E
    What are we doing for this show?
[03:55] Lucoa
    It needs to be something
    the elderly will enjoy.
[03:59] T
    Does anyone have any ideas?
[04:02] E
    How about an eating contest?
[04:04] L
    You just want to eat.
[04:06] Kanna
    A race.
[04:07] L
    They might die.
[04:09] Fafnir
    We could play a VR FPS, FFA.
[04:13] L
    I'm sorry, could you speak Japanese?
[04:15] T
    All of these ideas require the
    audience to participate, don't they?
[04:19] E
    You haven't proposed anything yourself!
[04:22] T
    Do either of you have any ideas?
[04:25] Shouta
    I'm okay with anything.
[04:26] Sakiawa
    Then how about a play?
[04:29] E
    A play?
[04:30] E
    You mean that thing where
    humans act on a stone stage?
[04:34] Saikawa
    Stone stage?
[04:35] T
    A play sounds great!
[04:38] T
    Let's do that.
[04:40] E
    But what play would we even put on?
[04:43] Saikawa
    Since it's Christmas,
     why not The Little Match Girl?
[04:47] T
    What's that story about?
[04:49] Saikawa
    On a cold, cold winter night,
    a poor little girl is selling matchsticks.
[04:54] Saikawa
    None of the people passing
    by will buy any from her.
[04:58] Saikawa
    So in order to warm her chilled body,
    she lights one of the matches.
[05:03] Saikawa
    Then, in the flame, she sees a warm
    stove and lots of delicious food.
[05:09] Saikawa
    She lights match after match, and eventually
    her beloved dead grandmother appears.
[05:17] Saikawa
    So the little girl continues
    lighting her matches
[05:19] Saikawa
    to keep her grandmother from disappearing,
[05:22] Saikawa
    and the grandmother gently
    hugs the little girl.
[05:27] Saikawa
    Then the little girl ascends to heaven,
    embraced in her grandmother's warmth.
[05:32] Saikawa
    It's a bit of a sad story.
[05:36] Shouta
    It's famous.
[05:38] T
    I see.
[05:39] T
    So what happens to the little girl
    after she ascends to heaven?
[05:43] E
    You idiot. That means she died.
[05:46] T
    Oh. So she strangled her own granddaughter.
[05:50] Grandma
    Die!
[05:50] E
    That's not it either!
[05:52] Kanna
    Saikawa, you know so much. I'm amazed.
[05:57] Saikawa
    Well, yeah.
[05:58] T
    Then let's go ahead with
    The Little Match Girl.
[06:01] All
    Yeah!
[06:03] E
    Will we be all right?
[06:06] Fafnir
    I'm the director, Fafnir.
[06:08] Fafnir
    Since I'll be directing,
    I won't allow half-baked acting.
[06:12] Fafnir
    I'm the absolute authority here.
[06:14] Fafnir
    I won't accept objections.
[06:17] T
    To be blunt, you're only director by
    elimination, because you can't act.
[06:21] Luca
    It was a good compromise.
[06:23] F
    First we need to decide on our lead actor.
[06:26] F
    Each of you try acting out
    The Little Match Girl.
[06:30] T
    Number One, Tohru!
[06:31] T
    Pleasure to meet you.
[06:33] Fafnir
    Just get started.
[06:35] Fafnir
    Don't disappoint me.
[06:37] T
    Matches! Need any matches?
[06:40] Fafnir
    Boring.
[06:42] T
    Really?
[06:43] Fafnir
    Are you able to see them?
[06:45] Fafnir
    The heartless humans
    passing before your eyes?
[06:49] Fafnir
    Feel it.
[06:50] Fafnir
    Then your lines will come to you naturally.
[06:54] T
    Feel it...?
[06:55] T
    You foolish, inferior humans!
[06:58] T
    How dare you ignore me?!
[07:00] T
    You'll pay for that crime with your death!
[07:01] F
    Fail. Next.
[07:03] E
    Number Two, Elma. Nice to meet you.
[07:07] E
    Matches? Do you need any matches?
[07:09] F
    Nope.
[07:10] E
    Please! At least hear me out!
[07:13] E
    I can't go back to the office
    until I've sold them all!
[07:16] F
    What are you doing?
[07:18] E
    The salesmen that come to our
    company are always like that.
[07:21] F
    Hard life. Next.
[07:24] Saikawa
    N-Number Three,
    Saikawa Riko. Nice to meet you.
[07:30] Saikawa
    U-Umm...
[07:33] Saikawa
    I-I-I'm sorry!
[07:36] Fafnir
    None of you are any good.
[07:39] T
    We don't really understand your
    directing policy to begin with.
[07:42] L
    Me, me!
[07:44] T
    What is it?
[07:45] L
    Let me be the director.
[07:48] L
    Shouta can be the lead.
[07:50] Shouta
    Huh?!
[07:51] E
    What are you saying?
[07:53] E
    Shouta's a boy.
[07:55] L
    Well, leave that to me.
[07:58] L
    Shouta, come here.
[08:06] E
    He looks just like a girl.
[08:08] Kanna
    Cute.
[08:10] T
    He passes.
[08:11] Saikawa
    Well, he's not as cute as Kanna-san.
[08:13] Sh
    Wha...
[08:14] All
    Wha?
[08:15] Shouta
    What are you all planning
    to achieve by embarrassing me?!
[08:17] L
    Shouta?!
[08:19] T
    Well, that was to be expected.
[08:23] L
    Cheer up.
[08:24] T
    What should we do?
[08:26] E
    I'll be the director.
[08:28] E
    I'll be better than those two at least.
[08:30] T
    Right.
[08:31] T
    Also, what to do about our lead.
[08:40] Kanna
    Matches.
[08:42] Kanna
    Matches.
[08:43] Kanna
    Buy some matches.
[08:50] Both
    Yeah, this is it.
[08:55] K
    I'm home.
[08:58] Kanna
    Matches.
[08:59] Kanna
    Do you need any matches?
[09:03] K
    What's going on here?
[09:05] T
    We decided to perform The Little
    Match Girl
for the show.
[09:09] T
    Kanna was chosen to be our lead.
[09:12] K
    Oh, I see.
[09:14] K
    That's incredible, Kanna-chan.
[09:17] Kanna
    Yeah, I'll work hard.
[09:19] K
    I'll be sure to come watch.
[09:22] K
    Think you can handle it?
[09:24] T
    Of course!
[09:25] T
    We'll get through it easily.
[09:28] K
    Okay.
[09:29] Kanna
    Do you need any matches?
[09:31] K
    She's most dangerous
    when she gets like this.
[09:35] K
    Well, I'm going to go take a bath.
[09:36] ---
    Matches... Matches...
[09:37] T
    Sure!
[09:40] T
    Yes, yes.
[09:42] T
    Hello, this is the Kobayashi residence.
[09:44] Fafnir
    It's me. I thought about
    the script some on my own.
[09:48] T
    So you hadn't given up, Mr. Fafnir?
[09:51] T
    What did you come up with then?
[09:51] ---
    Matches.
[09:53] Fafnir
    If we stick to the original play,
    it won't match the current era.
[09:57] Fafnir
    So I decided to make the
    little girl into a magical girl—
[10:00] T
    Well, time to prepare
    Miss Kobayashi's dinner.
[10:04] Kanna
    Do you need any matches?
[10:17] Kanna
    Lady Tohru. Is there a
    chimney in this house?
[10:20] T
    Chimney?
[10:22] T
    No, there isn't.
[10:24] Kanna
    Saikawa said Santa visits
    by coming down chimneys.
[10:28] T
    Oh, you mean that old man
    who's covered in blood?
[10:32] Santa
    Hey!
[10:32] Kanna
    Will Santa be able to come
    if we don't have a chimney?
[10:35] T
    Hmm, all right.
[10:47] K
    What's this?
SIGN    Episode 10
SIGN    Troupe Dragon, On Stage! (They Had A Troupe Name, Huh)
[10:55] E
    What are you doing?!
[10:57] E
    No, no!
[10:59] E
    How many times do I have to tell you?
[11:01] E
    Hey, you, where are you going?
[11:03] E
    Tohru! Why would a passerby use
    Miss Kobayashi as reason to refuse her?!
[11:07] T
    Why would I be in a hurry
    if not for Miss Kobayashi?
[11:10] E
    I don't know!
[11:10] E
    Lady Lucoa! The grandmother wouldn't
    try to warm the girl up naked.
[11:15] L
    But it's warmer this way.
[11:17] E
    Sir Fafnir, you're out of the question!
[11:20] E
    A father would never call his
    daughter a "mere human"!
[11:24] F
    Hmph.
[11:24] E
    Why can't you all stick to the script?
[11:27] T
    Speaking of, this story
    doesn't have enough depth.
[11:31] T
    Are you sure we won't bore
    the elderly with this?
[11:35] E
    Now that you mention it, that's true...
[11:37] Fafnir
    Then why don't we try changing it up?
[11:40] E
    What are you suggesting we do?
[11:42] T
    Well...
[11:43] T
    Let's make the story more fun.
[11:46] L
    I agree!
[11:48] T
    Why don't we try mixing in other
    myths too, like the kasajizou?
[11:51] T
    Have it selling hats next to the girl.
[11:53] E
    What a mean man.
[11:55] L
    Why not?
[11:56] Fafnir
    The main character should be a magical girl.
[11:59] Kanna
    Thank you very much!
[11:59] Fafnir
    She can obtain the power to burn
    this corrupt world to ash.
[12:03] E
    Now there's nothing from the original left.
[12:06] L
    Oh, 47 Ronin is popular
    with the elderly, too.
[12:10] Fafnir
    The one about humans and their quest for
    revenge, right? Sounds interesting.
[12:14] Kanna
    Are there any dragons?
[12:15] L
    We might as well have some
    while we're at it, right?
[12:19] E
    Hey, Grandma!
[12:20] E
    Don't make it weirdly sexy.
[12:22] E
    Narrator, stop grinning.
[12:31] T
    Kanna.
[12:33] T
    It sounds like Santa won't be
    coming for a while longer.
[12:36] Kanna
    Does Santa know where we are?
[12:38] Kanna
    Will he really come?
[12:40] T
    Who knows?
[12:43] K
    Ah, I'm beat.
SIGN    Chimney Here
SIGN    Good Girl
SIGN    This is the home of the
     good girl,
    Kobayashi Kanna
[12:46] K
    What's this?!
[12:50] People
    Merry Christmas!
[12:51] People
    Take home some cake!
[12:59] K
    Did we make it in time?
[13:01] Takiya
    Looks like it.
[13:02] Staff
    It's about to start.
[13:03] Staff
    Now then, we'll be starting the performance
    of The Little Match Girl brought to you
[13:07] Staff
    by the Oborozuka Shopping District.
[13:09] Staff
    Please enjoy the show.
[13:15] Saikawa
    It was an awfully cold night.
[13:18] Saikawa
    The sun had set upon the street corner,
    where a single young girl was selling matches.
[13:25] Kanna
    Matches. Do you need any matches?
[13:28] Saikawa
    Yet no one would buy her matches.
[13:31] Kanna
    I can't sell any.
[13:34] Shouta
    Umm...
[13:35] Shouta
    Y-Young girl, do you need any hats?
[13:38] K
    Huh?
[13:39] Saikawa
    Before her appeared an old man selling hats.
[13:43] Shouta
    My old wife made these.
[13:46] Shouta
    They're very strong hats.
[13:47] Shouta
    W-Would you like one?
[13:49] Kanna
    I don't have any money.
[13:51] Shouta
    Are you all right?
[13:53] Kanna
    I'm cold.
[13:54] Shouta
    That must be hard.
[13:55] Shouta
    Oh. Then burn one of
    these to warm yourself.
[13:58] K
    They're burning it?!
[13:59] Takiya
    Even though his wife made it?!
[14:03] K
    And they're actually setting it on fire!
[14:05] Saikawa
    Then something incredible happened.
[14:08] Saikawa
    From the smoke there
    appeared a suspicious man.
[14:13] Fafnir
    Pathetic human.
[14:14] Kanna
    Who are you? What do you want?
[14:17] Fafnir
    You've been chosen
[14:19] Fafnir
    to become a magical girl with a duty to bear.
[14:22] K
    What's this turn of events?
[14:24] Fafnir
    Take it. The power to correct
    this corrupt world.
[14:28] Kanna
    Yeah, okay!
[14:29] K
    That was quick!
[14:31] Fafnir
    Very good. In that case...
[14:33] Shouta
    W-Wait!
[14:34] Shouta
    Please make me a magical girl, too!
[14:37] Fafnir
    Oh? Why do you wish to be a magical girl?
[14:39] Shouta
    To use a magical girl's power
    to commit vicious deeds
[14:43] Shouta
    and get money to feed my sick wife!
[14:47] Both
    He doesn't think to heal her with magic?
[14:50] Fafnir
    You would voice your desires without shame?
[14:54] Fafnir
    Very well.
[14:55] Fafnir
    You are truly human.
[15:05] Shouta
    This is embarrassing.
[15:07] Fafnir
    Still, it's unfortunate.
[15:08] Fafnir
    I only have one staff that will
    allow you to use your powers.
[15:12] Fafnir
    You two will have to fight,
    and the survivor shall receive it.
[15:15] Fafnir
    Begin!
[15:16] L
    Stop fighting!
[15:19] L
    I'm a magic fairy.
[15:21] L
    Don't let yourself be fooled
    by that suspicious man's offer.
[15:26] L
    I won't allow you to toy
    with the hearts of others.
[15:31] L
    Leave this to me and go!
[15:34] Kanna
    I can't just leave you here.
[15:37] Shouta
    Yeah, yeah!
[15:38] L
    Thank you.
[15:39] L
    My time with both of you was very enjoyable.
[15:43] K
    It was only a few seconds.
[15:49] Kanna
    No way...
[15:51] Shouta
    What do we do now?
[15:53] Kanna
    A magical girl's role is to cleanse
    corruption from this world.
[15:56] Kanna
    Leave it to me.
[16:01] Kanna
    Where are the rotten people?
[16:07] Saikawa
    How incredible.
[16:08] Saikawa
    The spell cast by the young girl struck
    a devastating blow to a nearby mansion.
[16:13] Kanna
    Let's go look there.
[16:17] ---
    One, two, one, two, one, two...
[16:23] E
    Are you the ones who set fire to this place?
[16:26] Shouta
    Wh-Who would do such a thing?
[16:28] Both
    You did.
[16:29] Kanna
    I'm sorry. I didn't mean ill by it.
[16:32] E
    No, you've been a big help.
[16:34] E
    I'm Oishi Kuranosuke.
[16:36] E
    Thanks to this fire I can
    sneak into the Kira mansion.
[16:39] E
    You have my gratitude.
[16:40] Kanna
    What are you doing?
[16:42] E
    I've come to avenge my lord and claim
    the head of Kira Kouzuke no suke!
[16:47] K
    Now it's the 47 Ronin?
[16:54] T
    Avenging your lord? How funny!
[16:56] E
    So you show yourself, Kira!
[16:58] T
    If you'd forfeit your life, then come at me!
[17:01] K
    Hey, hey, seriously?!
[17:03] Kanna
    That's the source of the corruption.
[17:05] Kanna
    The enemy of magical girls!
[17:10] T
    No one can beat me in this form.
[17:15] T
    I'll turn you to dust!
[17:20] K
    They're overdoing it!
[17:21] K
    If they do that, then...!
[17:23] Man
    Amazing.
[17:24] Man
    Is this that CGI thing?
[17:26] Man
    Who you calling a geezer?
[17:27] Man
    I said CGI.
[17:28] E
    Oh well.
[17:29] E
    Then I'll have to get serious, too!
[17:31] T
    What?!
[18:06] Man
    That was incredible.
[18:15] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[18:18] T
    How was our play?
[18:22] K
    Well...
[18:27] K
    It was good. You worked
    hard all on your own.
[18:31] K
    Nice work.
[18:34] Take
    Well, care to go out for an after party now?
[18:37] E
    Let's!
[18:38] E
    I just received a cake in appreciation, too.
[18:40] L
    Elma, you're just hungry.
[18:43] E
    Th-That's not true!
[18:51] All
    Cheers!
[19:12] K
    Huh? Where's everyone else?
[19:14] T
    They just left to head home.
[19:17] T
    Apparently they're each having
    their own parties at home.
[19:21] K
    And Kanna-chan?
[19:22] T
    She escorted Ms. Saikawa home.
[19:24] K
    Hmm.
[19:26] T
    Would you like a bath?
[19:28] T
    Or would you like to go to bed as is today?
[19:32] K
    Well, since it is Christmas...
[19:44] K
    What a beautiful sight!
[19:46] T
    You're not cold?
[19:48] K
    I'm fine.
[19:49] T
    This is unusual.
[19:51] T
    You asking to see the view at night.
[19:54] K
    Is it?
[19:55] T
    Oh, right.
[19:56] T
    Miss Kobayashi.
[19:59] T
    Here.
[20:00] K
    What? A Christmas present?
[20:02] T
    Yes!
[20:03] T
    I got you some medicine that
    works well for lower back pain.
[20:07] K
    Seriously?
[20:08] K
    That's a big help.
[20:12] T
    It's a valuable item in the other world.
[20:15] T
    You grind it down and
    apply it to your lower back.
[20:18] T
    It works perfectly!
[20:20] K
    Yeah, sure...
[20:24] K
    Hey, I was worried all day today.
[20:27] T
    What's this all of a sudden?
[20:30] K
    To be honest, I was full of
    anxiety as I watched your play,
[20:34] K
    worrying when I should
    jump in to stop you.
[20:38] K
    But everyone enjoyed it.
[20:42] K
    You really did a nice job.
[20:44] T
    Thanks!
[20:47] K
    Oh.
[21:03] T
    It's a White Christmas.
[21:06] K
    Here! A Christmas present from me, too.
[21:09] T
    Huh?
[21:10] T
    What is it?
[21:12] K
    Merry Christmas, Tohru.
[21:16] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[21:21] K
    Tohru, settle down! I'll fall!
[21:25] T
    But!
[21:53] K
    I can't get close!
SIGN    Big End of Year Sale
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:26] T
    Mr. Fafnir, that was quite the
    excellent performance!
[23:29] F
    Hmph.
[23:30] T
    Pathetic human.
[23:32] F
    Stop it.
[23:32] T
    Oh? Why do you wish to be a magical girl?
[23:34] F
    Don't mimic me.
[23:35] T
    Very well.
SIGN    Episode 11
SIGN    Year End, New Year! (No Comiket Bit This Time)
[23:36] T
    You are truly human.
[23:38] F
    I'll kill you!

E11 - Year End, New Year! (No Comiket Bit This Time)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
SIGN    Big End of Year Sale!
SIGN    Big Sale
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
SIGN    Big End of Year Sale!
SIGN    Tatsuda Butchery
[00:14] T
    This place is full of people today.
[00:17] K
    The New Year's right after Christmas.
SIGN    Special Sale
SIGN    5 Tickets per Turn
[00:21] Kanna
    What's that?
[00:22] K
    It's a lottery.
[00:24] Kanna
    I want to try.
[00:25] K
    Hmm, we'd need tickets.
SIGN    Lottery
    Tickets
[00:28] T
    I have some.
[00:30] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, is that magic?
[00:31] T
    No, I received them during my daily
    shopping here at the shopping district.
[00:37] K
    You've blended right in.
SIGN    5 Tickets per Turn
SIGN    Special Sale
[00:38] Staff
    Okay, you get three turns.
SIGN    Grand Prize | Pair of Hot Springs Trip Tickets 1st Prize | Big Screen TV 2nd Prize | Cleaning Robot 3rd Prize | Warm Kotatsu 4th Prize | ¥10,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher 5th Prize | ¥5,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher 6th Prize | ¥1,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher
SIGN    Grand Prize | Pair of Hot Springs Trip Tickets 1st Prize | Big Screen TV 2nd Prize | Cleaning Robot 3rd Prize | Warm Kotatsu 4th Prize | ¥10,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher 5th Prize | ¥5,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher
SIGN    Grand Prize | Pair of Hot Springs Trip Tickets 1st Prize | Big Screen TV 2nd Prize | Cleaning Robot 3rd Prize | Warm Kotatsu 4th Prize | ¥10,000 Oborozuka Shopping District Voucher
SIGN    Grand Prize | Pair of Hot Springs Trip Tickets 1st Prize | Big Screen TV 2nd Prize | Cleaning Robot 3rd Prize | Warm Kotatsu
[00:43] T
    The grand prize is a hot
    springs vacation, huh?
[00:45] T
    Hot springs.
[00:47] T
    Hot springs would be nice.
[00:49] T
    I'll land the hot springs!
[00:51] K
    Don't use magic.
[00:53] T
    I know!
[00:59] Staff
    Here's your consolation prize. Pocket tissues.
[01:03] Staff
    Here are your tissues.
[01:04] T
    Last one! This time I'll win!
[01:08] Both
    Huh?
[01:09] K
    Hmm?
[01:10] Staff
    Congratulations!
[01:12] T
    I did it!
[01:14] Staff
    Third prize! You'll be set for
     the cold winter with this.
[01:17] Staff
    You've won a warm kotatsu.
[01:20] Both
    Oh!
[01:22] T
    Kotatsu?
[02:58] Staff
    Are you going anywhere, Yamashita-kun?
SIGN    Deadline
[03:00] Yama
    Home to my family in Hokkaido.
[03:02] Yama
    I'll buy you some nama
    chocolates as souvenirs.
[03:07] Elma
    Nama chocolates...
[03:08] Takiya
    What about you, Kobayashi-san?
    Going home to your family?
[03:11] K
    No. You?
[03:14] Takiya
    I have Winter Comiket at the end of the year.
[03:16] K
    Aah.
[03:23] Woman
    The train's leaving now.
[03:24] Woman
    Oh, you're right.
[03:25] Woman
    Happy New Year!
[03:27] Woman
    Happy New Year!
[03:30] K
    A lot of stuff happened this year.
[03:36] K
    I'm home.
[03:37] T
    Welcome home.
[03:40] Kanna
    Welcome home.
[03:42] K
    This year's work is finally over.
[03:45] T
    Well done.
[03:47] Kanna
    Kobayashi, do you have
    to go to work anymore?
[03:50] K
    Nope. I'm off until the third.
[03:53] Kanna
    Oh!
[03:54] T
    You're always so busy, so please take
    it easy over the holidays.
[03:59] K
    I plan to.
[04:02] K
    This is heaven. I'm glad we won the kotatsu.
[04:06] T
    Right?
[04:09] T
    I need to start preparing
    the New Year's dishes soon.
[04:12] T
    I even borrowed the tools to
    pound mochi and soba.
[04:15] K
    You don't have to go that all-out.
[04:19] T
    It's a maid's responsibility
    to take charge and make sure
[04:21] T
    the seasonal events are carried out.
[04:27] T
    Oh, do you need to use the restroom?
[04:29] K
    It's such a pain.
[04:31] K
    Tohru, you're a maid. Go for me.
[04:34] T
    Huh?
[04:36] K
    Oh well, guess I'll go.
[04:38] T
    Oh, Miss Kobayashi, could you hit
    the switch on the rice cooker?
[04:42] Kanna
    Pass the remote.
[04:43] K
    Huh?
[04:53] F
    What are you doing?
[04:55] Takiya
    Oh.
[04:56] Takiya
    This is New Year's curry.
SIGN    Delicious
    Tomato
    Curry
SIGN    Mild
    Honey
    Curry
SIGN    Sun Curry
SIGN    Mild
[04:58] F
    Is it—
[05:01] Takiya
    It's mild.
SIGN    Sun Curry
SIGN    Mild
SIGN    - December 29th -
[05:17] TV
    The New Year's parlor trick tournament
    will be on January 3rd.

[05:20] TV
    You can look forward to several outstanding
    guests performing in our competition!

[05:28] T
    Our huge New Year's bargain sale starts soon!
     Doors open at 6:30AM on the 1st!

SIGN    - December 30th -
[05:42] T
    So I can just pound the New Year's
    soba tomorrow before we eat it, then?
[05:46] K
    Tohru, isn't this a lot of work for you?
[05:49] T
    No, these are my natural duties as a maid.
[05:53] T
    Hmm, but I feel like we're
    forgetting something.
[06:01] T
    Oh, a guest.
[06:05] K
    Who could it be?
[06:07] Kanna
    Hmm?
[06:08] T
    Who indeed?
[06:13] Sasakibe
    Tohru-chan, good afternoon!
[06:16] K
    Tohru, they're calling for you.
[06:17] T
    Well, if I have to...
[06:20] T
    Yes, yes. Hello?
[06:22] T
    Oh, Miss Sasakibe.
[06:24] S
    Good afternoon.
[06:25] S
    Umm, I made too much candied
    sweet potatoes with chestnuts.
[06:28] S
    Have some if you'd like.
[06:30] T
    Well, we didn't make any of those.
[06:33] T
    Thank you very much!
[06:35] T
    Oh, hold on one moment, please.
[06:37] T
    Here's some mochi we pounded.
[06:40] T
    If you put it in your freezer
    you can keep it from molding.
[06:43] S
    Oh, thanks!
[06:45] K
    Good job.
[06:47] T
    It's nothing.
[06:54] T
    Yes, yes. Hello?
[06:56] T
    Oh, Mr. Yana. Good afternoon.
[06:58] Yan
    I got a lot of mandarin oranges from my home.
    Have some. They're sweet.
[07:04] T
    This many? Thank you very much!
[07:07] T
    Please hold on a moment.
[07:09] T
    Please take some of our mochi.
[07:11] K
    Good job.
[07:12] T
    It's nothing.
[07:14] K
    What is it?
[07:16] T
    Going by the pattern thus far,
     as soon as I climb under again...
[07:22] T
    Well, then...
[07:27] T
    Mr. Sone. Is this a rooster?
[07:30] Soune
    Yes, next year's animal.
[07:33] T
    Thank you very much.
[07:35] T
    This rooster is well made.
[07:36] T
    I'll put it on display right away.
[07:38] T
    Here's some of the mochi we made. Have some.
[07:43] ---
    Nyom, nyom...
[07:44] ---
    Nyom, nyom...
[07:46] K
    Good job again.
[07:48] T
    Well, we received this from Mr. Sone.
[07:52] Kanna
    Rooster!
[07:53] K
    Oh, the zodiac animal?
[07:54] Kanna
    What's a zodiac animal?
[07:55] K
    There are twelve animals
    in the Chinese zodiac.
SIGN    Zodiac Animals
[07:58] K
    Rat, Ox, Tiger...
SIGN    Rat
SIGN    Ox
SIGN    Tiger
[08:01] K
    Uh, what else?
[08:02] T
    Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Ram,
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Dragon
SIGN    Snake
SIGN    Horse
SIGN    Ram
SIGN    Monkey
[08:05] T
    Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig.
SIGN    Rooster
SIGN    Dog
SIGN    Pig
[08:08] Kanna
    Is that a spell?
[08:10] K
    I'm surprised you know.
[08:11] T
    It came up when I was searching the
    net for all things New Year.
[08:16] T
    But I still can't accept it.
[08:18] K
    How so?
[08:19] T
    Well, they say the order of the
    animals was decided by who
[08:23] T
    reached God fastest on the
    morning of the new year, right?
[08:27] K
    Oh, yeah, there is that story.
[08:30] K
    The Rat stole first place by
    hopping a ride on the Ox.
SIGN    God
SIGN    "Seriously!?"
SIGN    God
[08:35] K
    What is it that you can't you accept?
[08:38] T
    Okay, stop right there!
[08:40] T
    It's impossible for a dragon to come after
    an Ox or Tiger, let alone a Rabbit!
[08:45] T
    I can't accept it at all!
[08:47] K
    Well, it's just a story.
[08:52] T
    Oh, this mandarin orange is sweet.
[08:57] K
    Tohru.
[08:58] T
    Yes?
[08:58] K
    Well, umm...
[09:00] K
    For getting along with the neighbors,
     and everything else you've done...
[09:04] K
    Thank you.
[09:07] T
    Thank you very much.
[09:11] T
    It tastes like you.
[09:13] K
    It doesn't.
[09:14] T
    Oh, right!
[09:16] T
    I thought I was forgetting something.
[09:19] T
    Here.
SIGN    New Year's Greetings
[09:23] K
    New Year's Cards?
[09:25] T
    Yes. I bought them.
[09:27] K
    I haven't written one of these in years.
SIGN    Candy Grab
SIGN    - December 31st -
[09:50] Announcer
    How do you feel about your
    first performance on the show?

[09:52] Idol
    Well, I wrote my lyrics down on
    my hand so I wouldn't forget them,

[09:54] T
    I had the noodle shop owner in the
    shopping district teach me the trick.
[09:56] Idol
    but my palms are so sweaty
    they've all disappeared.

[09:57] K
    Wow.
[09:59] Kanna
    Kobayashi.
[10:01] Kanna
    Put my kimono on.
[10:03] K
    A kimono?
[10:04] T
    Apparently she promised to join
    Miss Saikawa on her first shrine visit.
[10:07] Kanna
    She lent me a kimono so we
    can wear them together.
[10:11] K
    A kimono, huh?
[10:14] K
    It's not too tight?
[10:15] Kanna
    No.
[10:16] K
    All right, all done.
[10:18] Kanna
    Oh!
[10:20] T
    Incredible, Miss Kobayashi.
    That's like a magic trick.
[10:24] K
    A long time ago my mother
    taught me the trick.
[10:26] T
    Nice. It looks cute.
[10:29] K
    You want to wear one, too, then, Tohru?
[10:31] T
    Huh?
SIGN    First Shrine Visit
[10:41] K
    I'm glad my kimono fits you.
[10:45] T
    With a kimono, you can adjust
    the size for the chest, too!
[10:47] K
    Yeah.
[10:49] T
    These past few days we've been losing
    to the temptation of the kotatsu,
[10:53] T
    but going outside for a change is nice.
[10:55] K
    Yeah.
[10:56] K
    Fresh air.
[10:58] Kanna
    It's a little cold.
[11:00] Saikawa
    Kanna-san!
[11:02] Kanna
    Saikawa.
[11:03] S
    So cute!
[11:05] Kanna
    Warm.
[11:09] L
    Oh, you're here, too?
[11:11] T
    Why are you here?
[11:13] Elma
    Should I not be?
[11:14] L
    I ran into Elma over there.
[11:17] Elma
    I heard you could eat lots
    of unusual food here.
[11:20] K
    Lucoa-san, what's with your kimono?
[11:24] L
    Well, it is New Year's.
[11:26] L
    I wanted to go traditional.
[11:28] Shouta
    S-Stop it!
[11:28] T
    What's your idea of traditional?
[11:34] Takiya
    Hey, Kobayashi-san.
[11:36] T
    Oh, that looks good on you, Mr. Fafnir.
[11:40] Takiya
    Yeah, it does.
[11:41] F
    Hmph.
[11:42] Elma
    Let's hurry! Before the amazake's gone!
[11:45] K
    Well, shall we go?
[11:47] T
    Yes!
[11:55] T
    
SIGN    Episode 11
SIGN    Year End, New Year! (No Comiket Bit This Time)
SIGN    Fried Chicken
SIGN    Amazake
    It's delicious
SIGN    1 Cup 100 yen
[12:07] Elma
    So sweet.
[12:09] L
    It's a nostalgic flavor.
SIGN    Delicious Amazake
[12:11] K
    Really?
[12:12] L
    Yeah. I used to drink
    something like this often.
[12:15] L
    It takes me back.
[12:17] T
    Oh, and because you got
    drunk you and your sister—
SIGN    Evil-Banishing Arrow
[12:24] Saikawa
    It's a pretty charm.
[12:26] Kanna
    Mhmm.
[12:27] Saikawa
    Hey, Kanna-san. Want to buy matching ones?
[12:30] Kanna
    Matching?
[12:31] Saikawa
    Yes.
[12:32] Saikawa
    O-Of this r-relationship charm.
SIGN    Relationships
[12:35] T
    A charm, huh?
[12:39] K
    You want one?
SIGN    Academics
[12:42] Saikawa
    An academics charm...
[12:45] Elma
    One I made would work way better.
[12:48] L
    You don't need any charms, Shouta?
[12:51] Shouta
    I'm from a family of mages.
[12:53] Shouta
    I'll achieve my desires myself!
[12:56] L
    How cute!
[12:58] Shouta
    S-Stop it!
[13:00] T
    You bought an evil-banishing arrow?
[13:02] Fafnir
    It might be useful for
    researching new curses.
[13:06] K
    How'd Comiket go?
[13:07] Takiya
    Thanks, we sold out.
[13:09] K
    You're as popular as ever, huh.
[13:12] Takiya
    Looks like Faf-kun's "Curse Anthology 2"
     didn't sell any though.
[13:16] K
    He produced a second after the
    first didn't sell this summer?
[13:19] Elma
    Miss Kobayashi.
[13:21] Elma
    What's that?
SIGN    Fortune Telling
SIGN    Fortune Telling
    Number Twelve
    Great Blessing
    
    Luck
[13:25] K
    Georgie, you got great blessing!
[13:27] Georgie
    It's a blessing too great for a maid.
    You should have it, young lady.
[13:32] Saikawa
    I'm fine. It's your luck, Sis—... Georgie.
[13:37] T
    Miss Kobayashi, look! My fortune!
[13:40] K
    Huh? Which one?
SIGN    Fortune Telling
    Number Twelve
    Great Curse
    
    Luck
[13:42] K
    Great curse.
[13:43] K
    This is my first time seeing it.
[13:45] T
    What does it mean?
[13:47] K
    Your wishes will prove difficult.
[13:50] K
    The one you wait for will come.
[13:52] K
    That which you've lost, won't be found.
[13:55] K
    I don't really get, but it
    sounds like a great curse.
[13:59] K
    Though I guess it also means things'll
    only get better from here.
[14:02] K
    Yay!
[14:03] Woman
    Hey, isn't it almost time?
[14:05] Woman
    Huh? Seriously?
[14:06] Woman
    Seriously, seriously.
[14:07] T
    I wonder what's going on.
SIGN    Saturday, December 31st
[14:11] K
    Oh, this year's almost over.
[14:14] K
    Time sure flew by, didn't it?
[14:19] People
    Thirteen, twelve,
[14:21] People
    eleven, ten, nine,
[14:24] People
    eight,
[14:25] People
    seven,
[14:26] People
    six,
[14:27] People
    five,
[14:28] People
    four, three, two,
[14:31] People
    one!
[14:33] People
    Happy New Year!
[14:35] People
    Happy New Year!
[14:37] People
    Happy New Year!
[14:39] K
    Tohru.
[14:41] K
    Happy New Year.
[14:44] T
    Happy New Year to you, too!
SIGN    Be happy.
SIGN    May Dad's lower back get a little better.
SIGN    May I become great at soccer
SIGN    Land a job.
SIGN    Cherish our family.
[14:50] Georgie
    Young lady, are you all right?
[14:53] Saikawa
    I'm just a little cold.
[14:54] Kanna
    Kobayashi, can I invite Saikawa over?
[14:57] K
    Huh?
[14:58] Kanna
    Since it's warm under the kotatsu.
[15:00] T
    Why don't we take this chance
    to invite everyone over?
[15:04] T
    We have plenty of food, too.
[15:06] K
    Sure. We should let Saikawa-san's
    and Shouta-kun's families know.
[15:10] T
    Well then, everyone, let's go!
[15:20] T
    Here's the ozouni soup, everyone.
[15:22] Elma
    What's this? Did you make this?
[15:25] T
    You don't have to eat it
    if you don't want to.
[15:28] K
    Tohru and Kanna made the mochi.
[15:31] Takiya
    You went all out.
[15:32] Elma
    Well, since you made it,
    I'll eat it for you.
[15:35] L
    Thanks for the food.
SIGN    Slurp
[15:38] Elma
    It's good!
[15:40] T
    I learned the seasoning from
    Miss Kobayashi's family.
[15:44] Fafnir
    It's not mild, huh?
[15:46] T
    I'll make some sweet red bean soup later, too.
[15:50] K
    Tohru.
[15:52] K
    What meat is this?
[15:53] T
    You get a special treat, Miss Kobayashi!
[15:56] K
    I've told you countless times
    not to put in your tail.
[15:59] T
    But it's about time you tried it, isn't it?
[16:01] T
    It's a new year after all.
[16:03] K
    It still won't happen next
    year or the year after.
[16:06] T
    Eh?
[16:09] K
    Just climb in with us.
[16:11] T
    Okay.
[16:12] T
    The kotatsu's the best.
[16:14] Takiya
    Kotatsus are nice. Maybe we'll buy one, too.
[16:18] Fafnir
    Do as you please.
[16:37] Kanna
    Oh!
[16:49] Saikawa
    I got to see the first sunrise of the year
    with Kanna-san, so this should be a good year.
[16:54] Fafnir
    It's just a sunrise.
[16:56] Takiya
    The first sunrise of the year is special.
[17:00] K
    There it goes.
[17:03] T
    Yes.
SIGN    - January 2nd -
[17:11] Announcer
    Now, every year on January 2nd,
    it's the annual Tokyo Bay Ekiden!

[17:14] Kanna
    I want to watch anime.
[17:15] TV
    Which team will win today's race to Nagaura?
[17:15] K
    That's on break until the new year's over.
[17:18] Kanna
    Eh?
[17:19] K
    Well, I understand how you feel.
[17:26] K
    Tohru, pick it up.
[17:28] T
    I can't step away right now.
[17:30] K
    What do you mean?
[17:31] T
    It's closer to you, isn't it?
[17:42] K
    Aah, fine.
SIGN    - January 3rd -
[17:51] TV
    Now, today's Tokyo Bay
    Ekiden, on January 3rd.

[17:55] TV
    The contenders for the win have
    been narrowed down to two teams!

[17:56] T
    Are these people running the
    same race as yesterday?
[17:59] K
    No, today they're running back from Nagaura.
[18:02] Kanna
    Boring.
[18:03] T
    Want to play a game?
[18:05] Kanna
    Uh-uh.
[18:06] Kanna
    I'll do my homework.
[18:08] Both
    Homework?
[18:11] K
    First writing of the year, huh?
[18:12] Kanna
    Mhmm.
[18:13] T
    What are you writing?
[18:15] Kanna
    Anything works.
[18:17] K
    Ko...
[18:19] K
    ...ta...
[18:22] K
    ...tsu.
SIGN    Kotatsu
[18:24] K
    Kotatsu, huh?
[18:26] T
    Looks fun.
[18:28] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, you, too.
[18:30] T
    Are you sure?
[18:31] Kanna
    Mhmm.
[18:32] T
    Okay!
SIGN    Mom
[18:39] T
    What should I write?
[18:42] Kanna
    Something you like?
[18:47] K
    Hello?
[18:49] Kanna
    Lady Tohru?
[18:50] T
    Oh, right.
[18:52] K
    Mom?
[18:53] KM
    Happy New Year.
[18:55] K
    Oh, Happy New Year.
[18:57] KM
    I got your New Year's card today.
[18:59] K
    Oh, I guess it didn't make
    it for the 1st, huh?
[19:03] KM
    It's the first time you've ever sent a card.
[19:05] K
    Yeah. Everyone doing all right?
[19:07] KM
    We're well, we're well.
[19:10] T
    It went out of bounds!
[19:13] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, don't worry.
[19:14] KM
    Sounds lively.
[19:15] T
    What do I do?!
[19:16] K
    I have some friends over.
[19:18] KM
    So you're having fun, then?
[19:18] Kanna
    It's fine to keep going.
[19:20] T
    All right, here I go.
[19:22] K
    Yeah.
[19:24] K
    I'll call again sometime.
[19:25] K
    Give everyone my regards.
[19:28] K
    Yeah. Later.
SIGN    Miss Kobayashi
[19:35] K
    You wrote it.
[19:37] T
    Yes.
[19:39] T
    Who was on the phone?
[19:40] K
    My mom.
[19:41] T
    Huh?
[19:42] K
    She said all my folks are doing well.
[19:47] T
    I see.
[20:01] K
    New Year's ending soon.
[20:05] T
    Miss Kobayashi, you weren't going to
    see your family even for New Year's?
[20:09] K
    Hmm.
[20:11] K
    Every year, I spend New Year's
    sleeping off the year's fatigue.
[20:15] K
    It's not like I'm on bad
    terms with my family.
[20:18] K
    Occasionally we chat on the phone.
[20:21] T
    Is that how it is with human families?
[20:25] K
    I think it's different for everyone.
[20:28] K
    In my case, living over here's
    the life I've grown used to.
[20:35] T
    I think I understand.
[20:36] K
    What about you?
[20:38] K
    You could go back if you wanted to, right?
[20:40] K
    You're not going to go see them?
[20:48] T
    Living here with you is my
    life now, Miss Kobayashi.
[20:54] K
    Yeah.
[20:58] Both
    Oh!
[20:59] T
    It went in nicely that time.
[21:01] K
    Yeah, it fell right...
[21:04] K
    Ah.
SIGN    New Year's Money
[21:09] Kanna
    New Year's money?
[21:11] K
    I completely forgot.
[21:13] T
    New Year's money?
[21:15] T
    It's my first time receiving any.
[21:17] Kanna
    Mine, too.
[21:20] K
    It's my first time giving any, as well.
[21:22] K
    Well, I'm off.
[21:24] Both
    Take care!
[21:33] Shouta
    I'm gonna have a good first dream.
[21:38] L
    One, Fuji Lucoa!
[21:40] L
    Two, Hawk Lucoa!
[21:42] L
    Three, Eggplant Lucoa!
[21:44] Shouta
    Stop it!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:25] Kanna
    Lady Elma, I received New
    Year's money from Kobayashi.
[23:29] Elma
    Oh, good for you, Kanna.
[23:31] Kanna
    I received New Year's money from Kobayashi.
[23:34] Kanna
    New Year's money.
[23:35] Elma
    All right! I'll give you one, too.
SIGN    Episode 12
SIGN    Tohru and Kobayashi's Impactful Meeting!
    (We're Raising The Bar On Ourselves)
[23:38] Kanna
    Oh!

E12 - Tohru and Kobayashi's Impactful Meeting! (We're Raising the Bar on Ourselves)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] T
    Miss Kobayashi, your coffee's ready.
[00:08] K
    Oh, thank you.
[00:12] T
    Kanna, if you don't eat quick,
     you'll be late.
[00:16] Kanna
    Yeah.
[00:17] T
    Here's your hot milk, Kanna.
[00:19] T
    Oh, Miss Kobayashi!
[00:21] K
    Hmm?
[00:22] T
    What would you like for dinner this evening?
[00:25] K
    Hmm, well, anything works.
[00:29] K
    Or maybe not.
[00:31] T
    No go?
[00:33] K
    Is there anything you'd like to eat, Tohru?
[00:35] T
    Me?
[00:38] T
    Omurice, I suppose.
[00:40] K
    Oh! Nice! Let's go with that, then.
[00:43] K
    Make us good ones, please.
[00:46] T
    Roger that!
[00:47] T
    Leave it to me!
[00:50] T
    When do you think you'll
     be getting home tonight?
[00:52] K
    Hmm, I want to be home by ten.
[00:55] T
    Understood.
[00:58] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, I'm heading out.
[00:59] K
    I'm heading out, too.
[01:00] T
    Yes. Take care!
[01:04] T
    All right!
[01:05] T
    Time to give my best again today.
[02:40] T
    Cleaning, cleaning.
[02:43] T
    Lalala.
[02:44] T
    Beat the dust,
[02:46] T
    crush it,
[02:48] T
    and leave no dirt or grime!
[02:51] T
    Wipe it out,
[02:53] T
    wipe it out!
[02:58] T
    Huh?! Bring it on!
[03:05] T
    Bathroom, check!
[03:07] T
    Bedrooms, check!
[03:08] T
    Entrance, check!
[03:09] T
    Rooster, check!
[03:10] T
    Living room, check!
[03:15] T
    Perfect timing on the laundry, too.
[03:19] T
    The weather's nice today,
    so they should dry quickly.
[03:24] T
    Coming.
[03:26] Delivery
    Please stamp here.
[03:28] T
    Thank you for all your work.
[03:31] Delivery
    Thank you.
[03:34] T
    The cushion to help with
    Miss Kobayashi's lower back pain, huh?
[03:39] T
    Well, the laundry's finished.
[03:42] T
    All that's left is the omurice for dinner.
[03:47] T
    It's all for Miss Kobayashi.
[03:50] (Flashback) K
    Make us good ones, please.
[03:53] T
    I must prepare the best omurice ever!
[03:56] T
    First, some trial runs.
[04:01] T
    Finished!
[04:04] T
    How's that?
[04:05] T
    Fluffy, juicy eggs, hot rice with
    ketchup, all at restaurant quality!
[04:11] T
    And the taste...
[04:15] T
    is average?!
[04:17] T
    It's not that it isn't good, but...
[04:20] T
    Hmm...
[04:22] (Flashback) K
    Make us good ones, please.
[04:26] T
    Ah!
[04:28] T
    I want it to be a little more special.
[04:31] T
    Though she already warned
    me not to add tail...
[04:36] T
    Yes?
[04:37] L
    Hey.
[04:39] T
    Oh, it's you, Miss Lucoa.
[04:41] L
    I brought some snacks. Want some?
[04:45] T
    Thank you very much.
[04:50] T
    What's with that outfit?
[04:52] L
    Everyone was always saying something to me,
    so I tried toning down the exposure.
[04:55] L
    How is it?
[04:57] T
    You should change your body next.
[04:59] L
    Huh?
[05:00] T
    Please, come inside.
[05:02] L
    Yeah. Pardon me.
[05:09] L
    No wonder that shop receives such praise.
[05:11] T
    I'll put on another cup for you.
[05:14] L
    Oh, but I need to be going.
[05:16] T
    Right!
[05:18] T
    I was in the middle of making trial batches
    of omurice for Miss Kobayashi to eat.
[05:22] T
    Do you know any techniques
    to make them taste good?
[05:26] L
    Oh, omurice, huh?
[05:28] L
    Hmm...
[05:31] L
    The quickest way would probably be
    to use good ingredients, I think?
[05:35] T
    I see.
[05:36] L
    Later! The tea was delicious.
[05:40] T
    It was nothing.
[05:45] T
    Ingredients, huh?
SIGN    Oborozuka Shopping District
SIGN    Prime Free-Range Chicken Thighs
[05:53] T
    It's expensive.
[05:55] T
    If I gather good rice,
    vegetables, and eggs...
[05:59] T
    Yeah, all right.
[06:00] T
    Over budget?!
[06:02] Butcher
    Shopping for dinner, Tohru-chan?
[06:05] T
    Oh, Mr. Tatsuta.
[06:07] T
    This chicken is expensive, isn't it?
[06:11] Butcher
    Well, that's the best free-range
    chicken from Akita, after all.
[06:14] T
    Could you give me a discount?
[06:17] Butcher
    Hmm, it's already priced as low as I can go.
[06:19] T
    Could you please?!
[06:20] Butcher
    If I go any lower,
    it'll hurt my own livelihood.
[06:25] T
    I see.
[06:26] Butcher
    But I wanted to thank you
    for the other day, too.
[06:29] Butcher
    I could give you extra on these cuts.
SIGN    Chicken Thighs
SIGN    Chicken Thighs
[06:33] T
    They're average!
[06:34] T
    That would defeat the point.
[06:36] Butcher
    It would?
[06:39] K
    Make us good ones, please.
[06:42] T
    I don't have a choice.
[06:53] T
    Hereabouts should be good.
[07:07] Kanna
    I'm home!
[07:10] T
    Welcome home, Kanna!
[07:17] Kanna
    Lady Tohru, what's this?
[07:19] T
    Ingredients for our omurice.
[07:21] Kanna
    You went back again?
[07:23] T
    Only for a moment.
[07:26] Kanna
    What eggs are these?
[07:28] T
    They're Gullinkambi eggs.
[07:31] Kanna
    The one serving as Valhalla's alarm clock?
[07:34] T
    Yes.
[07:34] Gullinkambi
    Cock-a-doodle-doo!
[07:36] (Flashback) Einherjar
    They're damn good!
[07:38] (Flashback) T
    Really?
[07:39] T
    An einherjar told me they're
    incredibly delicious.
[07:43] Kanna
    And this?
[07:44] T
    That's...
[07:45] T
    spring water from an elf village.
[07:47] T
    I was planning to cook the
    rice with it. Just...
[07:52] T
    I've fought with the elves
    before, so I took it in secret.
[07:56] Kanna
    You couldn't complain if
    they killed you over that.
[07:59] T
    There's also meat from bull demons,
    and fruits that only grow in that world.
[08:05] Kanna
    What about the rice and vegetables?
[08:07] T
    I thought it best to use rice
    and vegetables from this world.
[08:10] Kanna
    True, the rice in this nation is delicious.
[08:13] T
    Apparently they use some magic
    called "selective breeding."
[08:18] T
    I should have them teach me
    the incantation some time.
[08:22] T
    Now, then.
[08:23] T
    Time to get cooking!
[08:25] T
    Kanna, could you help me, too?
[08:27] Kanna
    Yeah!
[08:33] L
    Roar!
[08:35] Shouta
    Demons out! Blessings in!
[08:35] L
    Roar, roar!
[08:41] L
    Roar, roar, roar, roar!
[08:41] Shouta
    Demons out! Blessings in!
[08:59] Shouta
    Lucoa!
[09:00] L
    Huh?
[09:02] L
    Oh, were you worried about me?
[09:04] L
    I-I wasn't!
[09:06] L
    Huh?
[09:08] L
    
SIGN    Episode 12
SIGN    Tohru and Kobayashi's Impactful Meeting! (We're Raising the Bar on Ourselves)
[09:14] K
    Ah, I'm beat.
[09:19] K
    Oh, right, tonight's dinner is omurice.
[09:23] K
    If I recall, the first normal meal
    she cooked was omurice.
[09:28] (Flashback) T
    It's done, Miss Kobayashi!
[09:30] K
    She set it out with such confidence...
[09:33] K
    And it was damn good!
[09:35] K
    Normally, she always made
    weird things, though.
[09:38] K
    Thinking about it now...
[09:40] K
    It's been a long time since I had
    someone willing to cook for me.
SIGN    Two's better than one! Three's better than two! Family's great!
[09:48] K
    Back then I told her it was so-so, but...
[09:51] K
    Today I'll tell her...
[09:55] K
    it's... good...
[10:00] (Flashback) Staff
    Hey, hurry up and pass that my way!
[10:01] (Flashback) Staff
    Forget about that,
    hurry up and fix this error!
[10:02] Staff
    Make sure you're making backups!
[10:03] Staff
    Help me out here!
[10:04] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi!
[10:05] (Flashback) Boss
    The deadline's almost here!
[10:06] (Flashback) K
    Yes!
[10:07] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi! We've got errors!
[10:09] (Flashback) K
    I'll fix them at once!
[10:10] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi! Help out over here!
[10:12] (Flashback) K
    Coming right now!
[10:13] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi!
[10:14] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi!
[10:15] (Flashback) Boss
    Kobayashi!
[10:15] (Flashback) K
    Shut up!
[10:22] (Flashback) K
    Another, man!
[10:23] (Flashback) Bartender
    Coming up.
[10:26] (Flashback) K
    That's my stop!
SIGN    Express
[10:28] (Flashback) K
    Where am I going now?
[10:32] (Flashback) K
    The mountain... sounds good.
[10:34] (Flashback) K
    The air's nice here!
[10:35] (Flashback) K
    Huh?! A bear?!
SIGN    Caution! Bears in Area
[10:36] (Flashback) K
    Bear...
[10:37] (Flashback) K
    Tasty bears!
[10:38] (Flashback) K
    Bring it on!
SIGN    Dragonslayer
[10:45] (Flashback) K
    It's pitch black!
[10:48] (Flashback) K
    Ow.
[10:53] (Flashback) K
    What?
[11:00] (Flashback) T
    Where did you come from, human?
[11:13] (Flashback) K
    Whoa! It's a dragon! Hug me!
[11:18] (Flashback) K
    Ow!
[11:19] (Flashback) T
    Leave, you insolent human!
[11:22] (Flashback) T
    Or I'll eat you!
[11:28] (Flashback) T
    Well, either way, I'm going to die, too.
[11:34] (Flashback) T
    How pathetic that the last
    being I meet is a human.
[11:38] K
    Hey, don't you get tired
    of talking that way?
[11:40] (Flashback) T
    Huh?
[11:41] (Flashback) K
    It has to wear you out.
[11:43] (Flashback) T
    Why, you!
[11:44] (Flashback) K
    You need this pulled out?
[11:46] (Flashback) T
    Huh? Well...
[11:49] (Flashback) T
    Hey!
[11:50] (Flashback) T
    You fool! If a human touches God's
    sword, their mind will be torn— Ahh!
[11:56] (Flashback) K
    Don't know about that.
[11:57] (Flashback) K
    If God exists, then... Hngh!
[12:02] (Flashback) K
    He should try...
[12:04] (Flashback) K
    extending my deadline right now!
[12:04] (Flashback) T
    No, no, no, no!
SIGN    Dragonslayer
[12:13] (Flashback) K
    Even if we are in my dream, that's no
    reason a dragon should be so servile.
[12:20] (Flashback) T
    I'm sorry.
[12:21] (Flashback) T
    Yet you saved me...
[12:23] (Flashback) T
    I was defeated in battle with the
    gods, and escaped to this world.
[12:28] (Flashback) T
    I imagine you managed to remove
    that sword because you lack faith.
[12:33] (Flashback) T
    I'm truly grateful.
[12:33] (Flashback) K
    Who gives a damn about that?!
[12:36] (Flashback) T
    Huh?
[12:38] (Flashback) K
    Drink!
[12:39] (Flashback) K
    Drink with me!
[12:40] (Flashback) K
    Dragon, listen to my story!
[12:42] (Flashback) T
    Huh? Uh...
[12:45] (Flashback) K
    Drink it!
[13:04] (Flashback) K
    Oh.
[13:06] (Flashback) K
    So you're a girl, then.
[13:08] (Flashback) T
    Yes, I am.
[13:10] (Flashback) T
    I don't like using this spell though.
[13:13] (Flashback) K
    Oh! You're a good drinker!
[13:15] (Flashback) K
    All right! Let's drink
    together, just us girls!
SIGN    Hehehe
[13:18] (Flashback) T
    Girls?!
SIGN    D'oh
[13:19] (Flashback) K
    I'm a girl!
[13:20] (Flashback) T
    Oh! I'm sorry.
[13:21] (Flashback) K
    Jeez, now I'm mad! Drink!
    Let me fondle your tits!
[13:24] (Flashback) T
    Sure.
[13:25] (Flashback) K
    Huh? I can?
SIGN    - Several Hours Later -
SIGN    Dragon slayer
[13:29] (Flashback) K
    This whole world's unfair!
[13:31] (Flashback) K
    I'm out there working so hard, for what?!
[13:33] (Flashback) T
    That's right, you tell them!
    Let me bring an end to it all!
[13:37] (Flashback) K
    And what the hell?! Don't make me cover
    for your subordinate's mistakes!
[13:42] (Flashback) T
    Don't assume all dragons are those lolicons
    who demand a village's virgin daughters!
SIGN    Dragonslayer
[14:01] (Flashback) K
    Why am I all alone?
[14:06] (Flashback) T
    Same.
[14:09] (Flashback) T
    I'm all alone in this world now...
[14:18] (Flashback) K
    Do you have anywhere to go?
[14:20] (Flashback) T
    No. Though I've been alone from the start.
[14:25] (Flashback) K
    Then...
[14:26] (Flashback) K
    Want to come to my place?
[14:39] (Flashback) T
    I-I do!
[14:46] (Flashback) K
    Then be my maid!
[14:48] (Flashback) T
    What?
[14:48] (Flashback) K
    Listen! A maid isn't just a simple servant!
[14:52] (Flashback) K
    Normally they're divided by their
    roles into house maids, laundry maids,
[14:55] (Flashback) K
    and so forth, and it takes training to be
    one, unlike those girls at maid cafés—Oh!
[15:00] (Flashback) K
    I'm Kobayashi.
[15:04] (Flashback) T
    I'm Tohru.
[15:06] (Flashback) K
    So, Tohru.
[15:07] (Flashback) K
    I'm not out to deny the
    existence of maid cafés.
[15:09] (Flashback) K
    Those are good in their own way,
[15:10] (Flashback) K
    but they're a problem that
    helps contribute to the growing
[15:11] (Flashback) K
    trend of the maid profession
    being taken lightly...
[15:16] Train
    Oborozuka. Oborozuka.
SIGN    Oborozuka
[15:20] K
    I feel like I dreamt about
    something important...
[15:26] K
    I'm home.
[15:27] Kanna
    Kobayashi!
[15:28] T
    Miss Kobayashi, welcome home!
[15:31] T
    We just finished the omurice.
[15:33] Kanna
    I helped, too.
[15:35] T
    I'm confident in it!
[15:40] K
    The omurice was delicious,
[15:43] K
    but because I had to point out so many issues,
[15:44] K
    I again failed to tell her they were good.
[15:59] Taki
    I can't believe it's raining all of a sudden!
[16:02] Taki
    I'm home!
[16:03] Taki
    They said there was no chance of rain.
[16:12] Fafnir
    Help me, Takiya.
[16:13] Fafnir
    It's a guerrilla event.
[16:15] Fafnir
    Time to grind.
[16:18] Taki
    Coming, coming!
[16:22] T
    Hmm...
[16:23] T
    I guess we'll be having
    this for lunch for a while.
[16:26] TV
    So cute!
[16:28] TV
    Is it okay if I pet him?
[16:30] TV
    Sure!
SIGN    Entertainer Special
SIGN    Entertainers' Pet
     Gathering
SIGN    World Wide Dogs
[16:32] T
    Ridiculous.
[16:33] K
    Oh, hey, it's cramped.
[16:35] T
    What mere pets, acting
    affectionate with humans.
[16:38] K
    You're one to talk.
[16:40] T
    Kanna.
[16:40] K
    No.
[16:42] K
    Speaking of which, were there any humans
    you were close to in your old world?
[16:46] T
    Humans?
[16:48] T
    Well, if I had to say, there was one
    human I associated with for a time.
[16:55] K
    Oh? What were they like?
[16:58] T
    Well, allow me to talk about
    my former self a bit.
[17:07] T
    I first met that human in
    an empty, ruined village.
[17:14] (Flashback) T
    Hmm, guess I'll make this
    place my home for a while.
[17:19] (Flashback) T
    Hmm?
[17:23] (Flashback) Girl
    It's rare to see a dragon
    in a place like this!
[17:27] (Flashback) Girl
    I was just lying low for a bit.
[17:29] (Flashback) Girl
    Let me stay with you for a while!
[17:31] (Flashback) T
    A bandit?
[17:32] (Flashback) Girl
    Uh-huh.
[17:34] (Flashback) Girl
    I mistook a noble for a merchant and
    attacked them, now I'm on the run.
[17:38] (Flashback) Girl
    All my comrades have been captured,
[17:41] (Flashback) Girl
    so I'm all alone now and I
    was wondering what to do next.
[17:44] (Flashback) T
    I'm not interested in you.
[17:47] (Flashback) T
    If you don't get lost, I'll just kill you.
[17:50] (Flashback) T
    How dare you... Why do you laugh?
[17:52] (Flashback) Girl
    Oh, sorry!
[17:54] (Flashback) Girl
    This is the first time I've
    ever heard anyone say
[17:56] (Flashback) Girl
    they'd kill me with so little
    intent behind the words!
[17:58] (Flashback) Girl
    Miss Dragon, you're not used to
    threatening people, are you?
[18:01] (Flashback) T
    It's not just a threat!
[18:06] (Flashback) Girl
    See?
[18:10] (Flashback) Girl
    So it's okay, right?
[18:12] (Flashback) Girl
    Let me stay for a while.
[18:15] (Flashback) T
    Do as you please.
[18:17] (Flashback) Girl
    Yeah.
[18:18] T
    Thinking back on it now,
    I could've just left myself.
[18:22] T
    But at the time I couldn't
    let myself yield to a human.
[18:28] (Flashback) Girl
    Hey, hey, what's it feel
    like being a dragon?
[18:34] (Flashback) T
    What do you mean?
[18:36] (Flashback) Girl
    You can fly through the sky, and possess
    such power you'll never lose to anyone.
[18:41] (Flashback) Girl
    I want to know what it feels like to
    be able to live freely in this world.
[18:45] (Flashback) Girl
    Huh? You're ignoring me?
[18:47] Girl
    No way!
[18:47] T
    At the time I found myself thinking.
[18:48] Girl
    You responded to me! Hey!
[18:50] T
    What was my freedom like?
[18:52] T
    I never thought of myself
    as free before then.
[18:56] T
    I was born with the chaos faction,
     lived with chaos, and fought the divine.
[19:03] T
    If that all ended, would I be free?
[19:06] T
    Would it ever end?
[19:07] T
    Even if it did end,
     and I was free, what would I...?
[19:13] (Flashback) T
    What would you do if you had freedom?
[19:15] (Flashback) Girl
    Hmm?
[19:16] (Flashback) Girl
    Be a maid!
[19:18] (Flashback) T
    A maid?
[19:19] (Flashback) Girl
    Yes. A maid.
[19:21] (Flashback) Girl
    I'd wear a cute maid outfit,
[19:23] (Flashback) Girl
    greet guests with my best smile,
    fall in love with my master.
[19:29] (Flashback) T
    You'd just be enslaving yourself.
[19:31] (Flashback) Girl
    Yes!
[19:32] (Flashback) Girl
    But it'd be my choice.
[19:34] (Flashback) Girl
    I would have a choice.
[19:36] (Flashback) Girl
    If I had a choice, I think
    my life would be different.
[19:40] (Flashback) Girl
    If I could choose my own life,
[19:42] (Flashback) Girl
    and my only two choices were becoming
    a bandit or becoming a slave, then...
[19:47] (Flashback) T
    I see.
[19:49] (Flashback) Girl
    Yeah.
[19:50] T
    Thinking back on it, I had
    never made my own choice,
[19:54] T
    and I thought that was fine.
[19:57] T
    There wasn't anyone I wanted to see anyway.
[20:00] T
    So I chatted with that girl
    for a while after that.
[20:05] (Flashback) Girl
    I think I should be good now.
[20:07] (Flashback) T
    You're leaving?
[20:09] (Flashback) Girl
    Yeah.
[20:10] (Flashback) Girl
    I'm going to cross the mountains and
    try heading to the next nation over.
[20:14] (Flashback) Girl
    I'm sure there'll be something there.
[20:15] (Flashback) Girl
    Oh, Miss Dragon, let me ride you.
[20:18] (Flashback) T
    Bug off! I'll never let a human ride me!
[20:20] (Flashback) Girl
    Cheapskate.
[20:22] (Flashback) T
    I'll die before I let a human ride me.
[20:27] (Flashback) Girl
    Well, later.
[20:29] (Flashback) Girl
    Thank you, Miss Dragon!
[20:32] (Flashback) T
    For what?
[20:33] (Flashback) Girl
    For being with me.
[20:36] T
    And so I parted ways with
    that annoying human.
[20:39] T
    At least, that's how I should have felt.
[20:41] T
    Yet I felt a little sad...
[20:45] T
    and uncomfortable.
[20:47] K
    Then maybe that person had something
    to do with why you're my maid now.
[20:52] T
    You're right.
[20:54] T
    It's rare of me to say this, but I
    wouldn't mind seeing that human again.
[20:59] K
    I see.
[21:00] T
    Yes.
[21:01] T
    By the way, Tohru.
[21:03] T
    Yes?
[21:04] K
    The way you used to talk
    sounds like an old man.
[21:07] T
    Huh?!
[21:07] T
    But it's cool!
[21:09] K
    Huh?
[21:13] Girl
    All right!
[21:15] Girl
    The weather's nice.
SIGN    Super Entry Level Object-Oriented Programming
SIGN    Learn the skills yourself
[21:28] Elma
    I see...
[21:35] Elma
    I've sure blended in to this world...
[21:38] Elma
    Oh, well.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:25] K
    Tohru, do you think that
    bandit girl is still alive?
[23:29] T
    Who knows?
[23:30] T
    But if she is alive, I bet
    she's serving as a maid.
[23:33] K
    Same as you, then.
[23:34] T
    Indeed.
[23:35] K
    I hope she's getting along well.
SIGN    Episode 13
SIGN    Emperor of Demise Arrives!
    (It Was the Final Episode Before We Knew It)
[23:37] T
    I hope so, too.

E13 - Emperor of Demise Arrives! (It Was the Final Episode Before We Knew It)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:20] Kanna
    Today I promised to play
    with Saikawa in the park.
[00:24] K
    I see. Have fun.
[00:26] Kanna
    Mm.
[00:27] T
    Do you have any plans for today,
     Miss Kobayashi?
[00:32] K
    I guess I'd like to spend my day
    off relaxing at home for once.
[00:35] T
    Understood!
[00:36] T
    I'll give it my utmost best as your
    maid to ensure you can relax.
[00:41] K
    Well, just leaving me alone is fine.
[00:47] T
    Kanna!
[00:50] T
    Take care.
[00:51] ---
    Yeah.
[00:58] T
    I hope the sun comes out today.
[02:42] Kanna
    Cute.
[02:45] S
    Shepherd's purse, huh?
SIGN    Flower Language Dictionary
[02:47] Kanna
    Flower language?
[02:48] S
    Yes. It's a book about the language of flowers.
[02:50] S
    Georgie lent it to me.
[02:52] S
    It's interesting.
[02:57] Kanna
    Saikawa.
[02:59] S
    The meaning of shepherd's purse is...
[03:01] S
    There!
SIGN    Shepherd's Purse
    Flower Meaning:
    I'll offer everything to you.
    Brassicaaceae Family,
    Capsella Genus, Annual.
[03:03] S
    I'll offer everything to you?!
[03:08] S
    My everything for you, Kanna-san!
[03:13] Kanna
    My everything?
[03:33] T
    Here you go, Miss Kobayashi.
[03:35] K
    Yeah, thanks.
[03:45] T
    How is it?
[03:47] K
    Oh, it's good.
[03:51] T
    I've been trying to change
    the temperature and such,
[03:54] T
    depending on how you're feeling.
[03:58] K
    You dragons are amazing.
[04:00] T
    It's not because I'm a dragon.
[04:02] T
    It's because I'm me.
[04:04] T
    Well, I should go shopping soon.
[04:10] T
    What should I make for tonight's dinner?
[04:16] K
    Omurice.
[04:18] T
    Sounds good!
[04:19] T
    Let's go with that, then.
[04:20] K
    Make us proper ones today, please.
[04:22] T
    Leave it to me!
[04:24] T
    I'm heading out.
[04:26] K
    Okay.
[04:34] T
    Omurice, omurice!
SIGN    LED Light Campaign On Now
[04:38] TV
    Their lifespan is short!
[04:40] Man
    Yes. For example, the house mouse only
    lives for a year to a year and a half.
SIGN    House Mouse
SIGN    Lifespan
SIGN    Human
[04:45] Woman
    Ah, how sad!
[04:47] Man
    That's not so.
[04:49] Man
    Every living creature has
    its own perception of time,
[04:51] Man
    and applying human standards
    to them is mistaken.
[04:53] D
    How long are you planning
    to keep doing this?
[05:00] T
    Are you me?
[05:03] D
    That's right.
[05:04] D
    I'm the doubt within you.
[05:14] D
    Don't avert your eyes.
[05:15] D
    Don't deceive yourself.
[05:17] D
    And with that...
[05:21] D
    I ask you. How long are you
    planning to keep doing this?
[05:28] T
    I just want to enjoy this time I have now,
[05:32] T
    and spend time with
    Miss Kobayashi, that's all...
[05:35] D
    How long?
[05:38] D
    You understand, don't you?
[05:40] D
    One day you will have to go back.
[05:43] T
    I won't go back.
[05:45] T
    I don't intend to go back.
[05:47] T
    Because I'm Miss Kobayashi's maid.
[05:50] D
    You're not. You're a dragon!
[05:54] T
    What will you do if you
    have a reason to return?
[05:57] T
    If the war back there worsens?
[06:00] T
    If you long for battle?
[06:02] T
    If Miss Kobayashi were to...
SIGN    Die
[06:16] T
    Miss Kobayashi... The place I belong...
[06:34] T
    Father?
[06:35] Father
    You understand why I'm here, yes?
[06:41] Father
    You're coming home with me.
[06:42] Father
    Tohru, this isn't where you belong.
[07:03] Kanna
    Lady Tohru!
[07:10] K
    Welcome home, Kanna-chan.
[07:11] Kanna
    Yeah.
[07:14] K
    Tohru's still not back yet, huh.
[07:16] K
    Just how far did she go to shop?
[07:19] Kanna
    Lady Tohru went home.
[07:21] K
    No, she's not—
[07:23] Kanna
    She went home.
[07:24] K
    Huh?
[07:25] Kanna
    To the other world.
[07:28] Kanna
    I think the Emperor of Demise,
    Lady Tohru's father, came to pick her up.
[07:36] K
    What do you mean?
[07:42] Kanna
    I don't think she'll come
    back to this world anymore.
[07:46] K
    Huh?
[07:49] Kanna
    She can't go against the Emperor of Demise.
[07:52] K
    I see.
[08:08] K
    Seriously?
SIGN    Episode 13
SIGN    Emperor of Demise Arrives! (It Was the Final Episode Before We Knew It)
[08:22] K
    Crap!
[08:23] K
    Kanna-chan, wake up!
[08:25] K
    You'll be late!
[08:28] K
    Shoot, shoot.
[08:30] K
    I totally forgot!
[08:40] K
    Hot!
[08:44] K
    Oh, man...
[08:47] K
    I'm sorry, Kanna-chan.
[08:49] Kanna
    It's okay.
[08:52] Staff
    Kobayashi-san.
[08:54] Staff
    Kobayashi-san.
[08:55] Staff
    Kobayashi-san?
[08:56] K
    Huh?
[08:57] K
    Oh, Yamashita-kun.
[08:59] Y
    About those revisions...
[09:01] K
    Yeah, I'll take care of them.
[09:03] Y
    Sorry.
[09:07] Takiya
    Kobayashi-san, did something happen?
[09:16] K
    Tohru went home.
[09:18] K
    To the other world.
[09:24] Takiya
    I see.
[09:26] K
    Yeah.
[09:33] K
    I'm home.
[09:37] Kanna
    Kobayashi, welcome home.
[09:39] K
    Sorry I'm late.
[09:41] K
    Let's have dinner.
[09:43] Kanna
    Yeah.
SIGN    Burnable Trash
SIGN    Time Set
[10:46] Takiya
    Are you all right?
[10:47] K
    How so?
[10:48] Takiya
    Staying this late, pulling overtime.
[10:50] K
    Kanna-chan's staying at
    Saikawa-san's place tonight.
[10:53] Takiya
    I see.
[10:57] Takiya
    Want to go for drinks after we're done?
[11:00] K
    I'll pass tonight.
[11:03] Takiya
    All right.
[11:05] Takiya
    Next time, then.
[11:05] K
    Yeah.
[11:09] Georgie
    Well, Kanna-sama, young lady, good night.
[11:13] Both
    Good night.
[11:18] Saikawa
    Wh-What's the matter, Kanna-san?
[11:35] L
    Tohru.
SIGN    Hades7: Well, time for me to drop off.
SIGN    Ebony Holy Knight: Oh, me, too.
SIGN    Ebony Holy Knight: Ooyama-san, good night.
SIGN    Crystalite: Pulling another all-nighter?
SIGN    Crystalite: That's crazy. Later.
[11:52] K
    I'm home.
[12:15] K
    I should've told her the
    omurice was good,
[12:17] K
    if things were going to turn out like this.
[12:32] T
    Miss Kobayashi, it's me!
[12:34] T
    Me, Tohru!
[12:36] K
    Tohru?
[12:45] T
    I'm home, Miss Kobayashi!
[12:48] T
    Oh, I can't fit inside in this form.
[13:01] K
    Why?
[13:02] T
    Huh?
[13:03] K
    I thought you went home.
[13:05] K
    To the other world.
[13:08] T
    Yes.
[13:10] T
    But I came back.
[13:17] T
    This is kind of awkward.
[13:20] K
    Yeah.
[13:25] T
    I'm home, Miss Kobayashi.
[13:31] K
    Yeah. Welcome home, Toh—
[13:38] K
    What?
[13:45] Father
    Tohru.
[13:47] T
    Father.
[13:48] K
    This is Tohru's...
[13:50] Father
    Why did you come back without permission?
[13:53] T
    Because I want to be here.
[13:56] T
    Please!
[13:56] Father
    No.
[13:59] Father
    I told you. We're forbidden from
    interfering in this world.
[14:05] Father
    You're coming home with me.
[14:09] T
    I don't want to!
[14:10] Father
    What you want doesn't matter.
[14:18] Father
    You understand. You can't be in this world.
[14:21] Father
    You can't throw the world
    into chaos over your whims.
[14:26] T
    I want to be here.
[14:30] T
    Because this is where I belong.
[14:35] Father
    You would live a quiet life as a human?
[14:38] Father
    One day you'll fray apart.
[14:40] Father
    You've sensed that, haven't you?
[14:49] Father
    Come back, Tohru.
[14:51] Father
    Before you get hurt.
[14:58] K
    Is it okay if I speak up?
[15:00] K
    That was a mean way of phrasing it.
[15:04] K
    But it's not nice to butt in
    between a parent and child.
[15:07] K
    I should probably respect Tohru's decision.
[15:10] T
    I don't want to!
[15:12] K
    Umm...
[15:19] ---
    Miss Kobayashi!
[15:23] Father
    Choose your words carefully.
[15:25] Father
    You might be the one eliminated,
    depending on what you say.
[15:40] (Flashback) T
    I'm home, Miss Kobayashi.
[15:51] Father
    What is it?
[15:53] K
    Tohru said she doesn't want to go back!
[16:00] F
    You...!
[16:02] K
    You can't interfere in this world, right?
[16:05] K
    Then you can't kill me.
[16:07] Father
    But I can leave you just shy of death.
[16:09] K
    That won't change how I feel!
[16:14] Father
    We must obey the rules of the world.
[16:19] Father
    If the dragons charged with defending
    order are found to be in this world,
[16:24] Father
    others will be influenced by
    that and make their way here.
[16:28] Father
    Things may be fine now, but eventually
    some will plot an invasion.
[16:33] Father
    What then?
[16:35] K
    That wouldn't be Tohru's fault.
[16:38] K
    You're just twisting this
    into her responsibility!
[16:42] Father
    It's a possibility.
[16:43] K
    Who cares?!
[16:46] Father
    Why are you so fixated on Tohru?
[16:49] Father
    Don't tell me you like Tohru?
[16:51] Father
    I can't believe a human like you would.
[16:54] K
    Really?
[16:56] K
    Tohru's a great girl!
[16:57] Father
    I know that.
[17:03] K
    She's bright and cheerful,
[17:05] K
    and sometimes she feels down,
    but she hides it with a laugh.
[17:09] K
    And to top it off, she's a maid!
[17:11] K
    Do you get it?
[17:14] K
    Don't take my maid away!
[17:16] K
    She's mine!
[17:19] Father
    You overstep—
[17:24] Father
    I see.
[17:25] Father
    In that case, this space is too small.
[17:42] K
    Tohru.
[17:49] Father
    This is a first.
[17:50] Father
    You rebelling against me.
[17:53] T
    I'll decide where I belong on my own.
[17:55] Father
    Hmph.
[17:57] T
    I respect you, Father.
[17:59] T
    I admire you.
[18:00] T
    But that's as a dragon.
[18:03] T
    Miss Kobayashi is my...
[18:08] T
    my...
[18:10] T
    my light!
[18:12] Father
    You know nothing.
[18:18] T
    In that case...!
[18:23] Father
    If you defy me, I won't show mercy.
[18:35] Father
    Come home, stupid daughter.
[18:37] T
    I won't go back!
[18:40] Father
    I won't allow it!
[18:42] Father
    Not with a human!
[18:43] T
    Miss Kobayashi's special!
[18:48] K
    There!
[18:51] Father
    This is your last chance. Come home.
[18:54] T
    I won't go back!
[18:55] Father
    You hardhead!
[19:07] K
    Wait, wait, wait!
[19:11] T
    Kanna? Miss Kobayashi?
[19:13] K
    Why are you two fighting?!
[19:15] Father
    Stay out of this, human.
[19:18] T
    I'm sorry, Miss Kobayashi,
    but could you step back for a bit?
[19:22] K
    Why are you dragons like this?
[19:25] K
    You'll never get anywhere
    if you can't compromise.
[19:29] Father
    What are you getting at?
[19:30] K
    You're being extreme!
[19:32] K
    I can never understand that.
[19:34] Father
    Of course. Humans could never understand us.
[19:39] K
    Not so.
[19:40] Father
    Hmm?
[19:42] K
    Knowing you're different is only the start.
[19:45] K
    You grow closer or more distant,
[19:47] K
    again and again,
    while realizing those differences.
[19:50] K
    And then you start finding
    the aspects you like.
[19:52] K
    You can even build respect.
[19:55] Father
    Respect?
[19:58] K
    Then you can forge both trust and bonds.
[20:05] Father
    Do you genuinely believe you
    can live alongside her?
[20:09] K
    You're wrong!
[20:11] K
    We've already been doing that for a long time.
[20:13] K
    It's about whether or not
    you believe it can last.
[20:17] K
    I believed it would.
[20:18] K
    What about you?
[20:21] K
    Try having faith in your daughter!
[20:37] Father
    I won't approve.
[20:38] Father
    Not with something like a human who doesn't
    even have the lifespan to live alongside her.
[20:45] Father
    Tohru. My foolish daughter.
[21:08] K
    Sorry for being selfish.
[21:12] T
    What should I give you?
[21:16] T
    Everything. I'll give you everything!
[21:20] K
    I don't need that much.
[21:40] K
    Good morning, Tohru.
[21:41] T
    Good morning, Miss Kobayashi.
[21:44] Kanna
    Good morning, Lady Tohru.
[21:46] T
    Morning, Kanna.
[21:47] Takiya
    Okay, I'm heading out.
[21:50] Fafnir
    We're out of conditioner.
[21:51] Takiya
    Okay, I'll buy some.
[21:53] Fafnir
    Also...
[21:54] Takiya
    8 o'clock, right?
[21:56] Takiya
    I know.
[21:59] S
    Kanna-san said she was coming
    over to play again today.
[22:02] Georgie
    In that case, I'll prepare chocolates.
[22:05] S
    Chocolates?
[22:12] L
    Take care, Shouta.
[22:14] Shouta
    Stop it!
[22:16] Clerk
    Try our new waffles!
[22:20] Clerk
    Thank you very much.
[22:23] K
    Tohru.
[22:24] T
    Yes?
[22:25] K
    I'm thinking of going home for
    the first time in a while.
[22:28] T
    Oh, sounds nice.
[22:29] T
    Please, you should go.
[22:31] K
    Will you come with me?
[23:04] T
    I'll never be able to grow
    old with Miss Kobayashi.
[23:08] T
    One day, the time will come
    when we have to part.
[23:15] T
    Even so, I would never think
    I was better off not meeting her.
[23:24] T
    I just want to treasure this time we have.
[23:35] K
    I'm home.

E14 - Valentines and Hot Springs! (Please Don't Get Your Hopes Up)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:08] Tohru
    Now Miss Kobayashi's
    introduced me to her parents,
[00:10] Tohru
    I've practically claimed her heart!
[00:16] Tohru
    All that remains is...
[00:19] Tohru
    claiming her body!
[00:21] Tohru
    I do it all for love!
[00:29] Tohru
    I put it in!
[00:30] Tohru
    I put it in!
[00:31] Tohru
    I put it in!
[00:33] Tohru
    The love potion!
[00:35] Tohru
    Now Miss Kobayashi's body will be mine!
[02:23] TV
    Look at this line!
[02:25] Kanna
    Kobayashi.
[02:25] TV
    They're all here to buy someone
    Valentine's chocolates!

[02:28] Kanna
    There's lots chocolates!
SIGN    Valentine's Special
[02:30] Kobayashi
    That's because it's Valentine's Day.
[02:32] Kanna
    Valentine's Day?
[02:34] Kobayashi
    It's a day when you give chocolates
    to the people you like.
[02:37] Kanna
    Oh! Chocolates!
[02:40] Tohru
    Miss Kobayashi!
[02:42] K
    Hmm? What?
[02:46] Tohru
    Here! Happy Valentine's!
[02:49] Tohru
    Please eat them!
[02:55] K
    Tohru.
[02:57] T
    Yes?
[02:59] K
    There's a thing called "trust" in this world.
[03:02] T
    Pardon?
[03:03] K
    Trust is very important, both when it
    comes to work and in personal relations.
[03:11] K
    It's not uncommon for one to lose
    everything when they lose that.
[03:17] K
    Get it, Tohru?
[03:20] K
    So it'll be okay for me to eat
    these chocolates right now, yes?
[03:23] T
    Th-These were a failed batch!
[03:27] T
    I'm such a scatterbrain!
[03:30] K
    Okay, I'm heading off to work.
[03:32] Kanna
    Me, too.
[03:34] Both
    See you later!
[03:36] T
    Take care.
[03:39] T
    And after I used a mandragora, too!
[03:43] K
    Honestly, I can't let my guard down at all.
[03:55] Lucoa
    I can't wait to see the
    surprise on Shouta's face.
[03:59] Shota
    You're not planning to coat your body and call
    yourself my Valentine's Chocolate, are you?
[04:04] L
    How did you know?!
[04:08] L
    Shouta!
[04:10] Kids
    Good morning!
SIGN    Ishida Kasuo
[04:12] Saikawa
    G-Good morning, Kanna-san.
[04:15] Kanna
    Good morning, Saikawa.
[04:17] Saikawa
    Umm, the weather's nice today, isn't it?
SIGN    Hamada
[04:21] Kanna
    Yeah.
[04:22] Saikawa
    By the way, do you know what day it is today?
[04:26] Kanna
    I do!
[04:27] Kanna
    Valentine's!
[04:29] S
    R-Right!
[04:30] S
    So, well, I...
[04:34] Kanna
    Whoa!
[04:37] Kid
    Kanna-chan, here! Friend chocolates!
[04:40] Kid
    Same here!
[04:41] Kid
    I brought some, too.
[04:45] Kanna
    Thank you.
[04:48] Saikawa
    Originally, I was supposed
    to be the first to give her any!
[04:55] Saikawa
    K-Kanna-san!
[04:58] Kanna
    Hmm?
[04:58] Saikawa
    Here! These are for you.
[05:01] Kanna
    Oh, I'm happy!
[05:04] Kanna
    Are yours friend chocolates, too?
[05:07] Saikawa
    Friend?
[05:08] Saikawa
    Kanna-san, these are b-because I love...
[05:15] Kanna
    Saikawa?
[05:17] S
    Yes?
[05:18] Kanna
    Can I eat them?
[05:21] S
    I-I suppose so.
[05:23] S
    Just a few, before the teacher comes.
[05:27] S
    Licky lick, licky lick!
[05:30] S
    Licky lick, licky lick!
[05:32] S
    Licky lick, licky lick!
[05:40] Man
    Here you go.
[05:41] Man
    My family in Hokkaido sent
    me a ton of chocolates.
[05:44] Man
    What? Valentines from your mother?
[05:48] Man
    Stop it. It's not like that.
[05:53] K
    Takiya-kun, did you get
    chocolates again this year?
[05:57] T
    Two.
[05:58] K
    You sure are a hottie.
[06:00] Elma
    Look, Miss Kobayashi!
[06:01] Elma
    I got some from Yamashita!
[06:04] K
    Good for you.
[06:05] K
    Those are good,
     they're from a famous producer.
[06:08] Elma
    Valentine's is a wonderful day!
[06:11] Elma
    I can't believe you get chocolates for free!
[06:13] Woman
    Kobayashi-san?
[06:15] Woman
    Thank you for everything.
[06:17] Woman
    If you'd like, please take these.
[06:19] K
    Thank you.
[06:20] Woman
    I have some, too.
[06:21] Woman
    Have some from me, too.
[06:23] Man
    Me, too.
[06:24] Man
    Me, too.
[06:25] Man
    Me, too.
[06:28] K
    Lots again this year.
[06:29] ---
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh...
[06:31] Elma
    Why are you receiving so many?
[06:34] Elma
    How nice!
[06:35] T
    It's repayment for her daily efforts.
[06:37] T
    There's a lot of people
    Kobayashi-san's helped with work.
[06:42] Elma
    Repayment for her daily efforts?
[06:45] K
    Now, now. I brought some chocolates, too.
[06:48] K
    Eat these.
[06:49] T
    Huh? Really? That's unusual.
SIGN    Please help yourself to them. -Kobayashi
[06:53] K
    You shouldn't hold high hopes for mine.
[06:55] T
    There's not even enough for everyone.
[07:04] T
    I'm home.
[07:06] F
    You're late, Takiya.
[07:09] F
    Hurry up.
[07:10] T
    Yes, yes.
SIGN    You've received a present from Ooyama Takeshi
SIGN    System Maintenance Announcement
SIGN    Valentine Blade
SIGN    Limited to presents
[07:22] T
    Right.
[07:24] T
    Today's Valentine's, isn't it?
[07:26] F
    Hmm? What's that?
[07:28] F
    More importantly, send me the same one.
[07:33] T
    Roger that.
[07:38] T
    Kanna?
[07:39] Kanna
    Hmm?
[07:41] T
    I'm heading out shopping,
    so please mind the house.
[07:44] Kanna
    Okay!
[07:50] Kanna
    I want to eat more.
[07:54] Kanna
    Chocolates?
[07:57] Kanna
    Oh?
[08:03] K
    I'm home.
[08:05] K
    Huh? Where's Tohru?
[08:07] Kanna
    Shopping.
[08:09] K
    I see. You're eating chocolates?
[08:12] Kanna
    Yeah, friend chocolates.
[08:14] K
    Oh? Friend chocolates, huh?
[08:16] K
    Elementary schoolers do that, too?
[08:18] K
    Hmm?
[08:19] Kanna
    Want some, Kobayashi?
[08:22] K
    Kanna-chan's eating it,
    so it should be good, right?
[08:26] K
    Yeah!
[08:32] K
    Huh? What?
[08:34] K
    Something's wrong.
[08:36] Kanna
    Are you all right, Kobayashi?
[08:38] K
    What is this?
[08:39] K
    Huh?!
[08:40] Kanna
    Kobayashi, your face is oddly red?
[08:41] K
    This is weirdly arousing?
[08:43] Kanna
    Do you have a fever?
[08:45] K
    Kanna-chan!
[08:46] K
    Where'd this chocolate come from?
[08:49] Kanna
    I went scrounging and found it!
[08:50] K
    I've done it now!
[08:52] K
    Oh, no! At this rate,
    I'll lay hands on an innocent young girl!
[08:57] K
    Kanna-chan, I seem to be under the weather,
    so I'm going to sleep, okay?
[09:02] ---
    Yup.
[09:08] K
    Damn it.
[09:09] K
    Stupid Tohru, how could
    you do that to Valentine's?
[09:15] K
    I've never had any luck with it, which is all
    the more reason I wanted it to be peaceful.
[09:21] K
    Last year, I spent it all
    alone with nothing happening.
[09:38] K
    Huh?
[09:40] K
    Is this warm feeling running
    through my body...?
[09:46] T
    Miss Kobayashi!
[09:48] T
    I heard you're feeling bad.
    Are you all right?
[09:52] K
    I wound up eating your weird chocolates.
[10:03] K
    Tohru, sit here.
[10:09] T
    Y-Yes.
[10:19] K
    It's wrong.
[10:21] K
    Your maid outfit's wrong!
[10:23] T
    Huh?!
[10:25] K
    It seems those chocolates contained liquor,
[10:28] K
    and since I was drunk, the matter was
    settled without anything happening.
[10:32] T
    No!
[10:43] E
    I shall make chocolates for everyone, too!
SIGN    How to Make Delicious Chocolates
[10:48] E
    First melt this chocolate.
[10:55] E
    I have a lot...
SIGN    For Baking
SIGN    Chocolate Bars
SIGN    Special Savings
[10:57] E
    ...so eating a little...
[11:01] E
    So good!
[11:05] E
    It's done!
SIGN    Episode 14: Valentines and Hot Springs!
    (Please Don't Get Your Hopes Up)
[11:27] K
    A get-together?
[11:28] Takiya
    We have several days off,
    so let's go have fun.
[11:31] K
    I don't mind, but where are we going?
[11:34] Takiya
    How about a hot spring?
[11:38] K
    It's been a while since
    I went to hot springs.
[11:41] Takiya
    I can't work up the courage
    to go alone either.
[11:44] Steward
    Would you like anything to eat or drink?
[11:49] Elma
    Give me every type of bento!
[11:50] Steward
    Coming right up.
[11:52] Kanna
    Kobayashi, ice cream!
[11:53] Kanna
    For Saikawa, too!
[11:54] K
    Yes, yes.
[11:55] Lucoa
    Shouta, is there anything you'd like?
[11:57] Shouta
    Well...
[12:00] Shouta
    No, I won't take handouts from a demon!
[12:03] ---
    
[12:04] ---
    
[12:06] K
    Could we have four coffees over here?
[12:08] Steward
    Coming right up.
[12:10] Takiya
    Thanks.
[12:11] Takiya
    Excuse me, could you change
    one to apple juice please?
[12:18] T
    I can't believe we'd get to
    go to a hot spring like this!
[12:21] T
    A different place, a different atmosphere...
[12:25] T
    It's the perfect situation.
[12:27] T
    This time I will give Miss Kobayashi my love!
[12:33] K
    Hmm?
[12:39] T
    Miss Kobayashi, what is this place?
[12:41] K
    It's a hot spring town.
[12:43] Shouta
    It's a little cold.
[12:44] Lucoa
    It's unusual for snow
    to pile up in this area.
[12:47] Saikawa
    Kanna-san, let's go see that!
[12:50] Kanna
    Okay!
[12:51] Elma
    Where are the hot spring manjuu?
[12:54] T
    Mr. Fafnir, we're moving on!
[12:57] F
    I know.
[13:00] Takiya
    You're more sociable than
    I expected, Faf-kun.
[13:04] F
    Dragons fundamentally have more flexibility.
SIGN    Laughing
    Pens
SIGN    Fortune Straws
[13:08] Takiya
    Flexibility?
[13:09] F
    Power.
[13:10] F
    We can associate with people and interact
    with their culture on a whim
SIGN    Hot Spring Manjuu
[13:13] F
    because of our flexibility.
[13:16] F
    The more powerful one is,
    the more flexibility one has.
[13:19] F
    That's all it is.
[13:22] Takiya
    And how long will that whim last?
[13:24] F
    Hmph.
SIGN    Takashiroya
[13:30] ---
    
[13:30] K
    This is incredible.
[13:31] Takiya
    They recently had a group cancel on them.
[13:38] Woman
    We've been waiting for you.
[13:40] Woman
    Takiya-sama, correct?
[13:44] Woman
    This way, please.
[13:48] T
    That humble attitude... She must have
    noticed my overflowing aura of greatness!
[13:53] K
    You're wrong.
[13:55] K
    That's how a Japanese maid entertains guests.
[13:58] T
    That's how they entertain?
[14:00] K
    Yeah, you might be able
    to learn a thing or two,
[14:04] K
    so you should pay close attention.
[14:05] T
    Wha?! I'm way more incredible!
[14:07] T
    Besides, what are you suggesting
    I learn from lowly humans?
[14:11] Takiya
    Kobayashi-san.
[14:12] K
    Yeah, yeah.
SIGN    Women Men
[14:30] K
    I like you, Kanna-chan.
[14:34] Saikawa
    Th-Then, Kanna-san,
[14:37] Saikawa
    I'll wash your back now!
[14:40] Kanna
    Yeah, thanks, Saikawa.
[14:47] K
    There's something I'd like to ask.
[14:49] T
    Yes?
[14:50] K
    Why did you all take those forms?
[14:54] Both
    Huh?
[14:54] K
    Were you focused on being
    cute when you transformed?
[14:59] T
    This is natural me.
[15:01] K
    Huh?
[15:02] Lucoa
    I'll explain.
[15:04] Lucoa
    Tohru transformed her body using magic.
[15:07] Lucoa
    By interfering with the idea of herself,
[15:10] Lucoa
    she transforms the being known as
    Tohru from Dragon to Human form.
[15:15] K
    Idea? The thing Plato talked about?
[15:18] Lucoa
    Yeah.
[15:20] K
    So, in other words,
SIGN    Idea Transformation
[15:22] K
    since you are all pretty
    and stylish among dragons,
SIGN    "Tohru" Creature
[15:26] K
    you retain those aspects in human form?
[15:29] K
    So that's why it's her natural form?
[15:31] Lucoa
    Exactly.
[15:33] K
    I wonder what I'd look like as a dragon?
[15:37] L
    Roar!
[15:38] K
    Why's the face the same?
[15:40] K
    But I like how I'd lose the back pain.
[15:42] Elma
    Roar.
[15:43] K
    That's just what you want to eat right now.
[15:45] T
    Roar!
[15:46] K
    Change me!
[15:47] T
    It just means you're wonderful as you are!
[15:51] K
    What the heck?
[15:52] Takiya
    They're having fun over there, huh?
[15:56] F
    Why did you suggest this get-together?
[15:59] Takiya
    It's simple.
[16:01] Takiya
    There was a big event not long ago, right?
[16:05] F
    You were showing consideration?
[16:07] F
    What a silly ploy.
[16:11] F
    What merit is there for you?
[16:13] F
    What's your goal?
[16:15] Takiya
    A community.
[16:17] F
    Hmm?
[16:18] Takiya
    I found a group that gets along well,
    and happened to become a part of it myself.
[16:23] Takiya
    It's fun being with them, and watching them.
[16:28] Takiya
    I sound like a modern youth, don't I?
[16:31] Takiya
    By the way, you're part
    of that group, Faf-kun.
[16:37] F
    I hate you, Takiya.
[16:40] Takiya
    Such a tsundere!
SIGN    Fruits au lait
[16:45] Elma
    That's good!
[16:47] L
    It is.
[16:48] T
    This is a real drink after a bath!
[16:54] L
    Shouta, what are you looking at?
[16:56] Elma
    Katanas?
[16:57] T
    They're key-holders.
[16:59] Saikawa
    Boys really do like these things.
[17:03] L
    You want it?
[17:04] Shouta
    I don't need it!
[17:05] Shouta
    I was just looking at it a little.
[17:11] Takiya
    Shouta-kun.
[17:13] Takiya
    Here. A present.
[17:18] Takiya
    I like these things too, myself.
SIGN    Game Corner
[17:26] Elma
    Looks like it's finally
    time to settle the score.
[17:30] T
    I'll send you home crying!
[17:32] T
    Watch us, Miss Kobayashi!
[17:34] Elma
    Don't take me lightly!
[17:37] K
    I can't see it.
[17:38] Takiya
    Citizens!
[17:39] F
    Suck.
[17:40] Takiya
    Nyami-nyami!
[17:41] F
    Rules.
[17:41] Both
    Kaboom!
[17:43] K
    What's this?
[17:49] K
    This is how it should be.
[17:51] L
    Well, we're up next!
[17:53] K
    It'll leave me disgusted, so nope.
[17:58] Takiya
    I'm a little beat.
[18:01] Takiya
    Maybe I'll go for another dip.
[18:06] Takiya
    Hmph.
[18:07] Takiya
    You want to go?
[18:09] F
    Of course.
[18:13] L
    We played a lot, huh?
[18:16] Elma
    The hot springs here are wonderful.
[18:19] Elma
    Let's go eat even better food tomorrow!
[18:26] T
    Go ahead, it's warm.
[18:29] K
    Thank you.
[18:30] K
    But you can take today off
    from being a maid, you know.
[18:34] T
    What are you saying?
[18:36] T
    Let me be your personal maid
    all year round, no breaks.
[18:42] K
    Sure.
[18:50] T
    Umm, Miss Kobayashi?
[18:54] T
    Shall we take a walk outside?
[18:59] K
    Yeah, let's go.
[19:16] K
    It's colder than I thought.
[19:18] T
    Should I put up my barrier?
[19:19] K
    Nah, I'm okay for now.
[19:22] T
    I see.
[19:26] T
    Miss Kobayashi.
[19:29] T
    Please accept this!
[19:33] T
    This time it's regular chocolates!
[19:54] K
    I'll gratefully accept the chocolates.
[20:07] T
    What do you mean "the chocolates"?
[20:11] K
    Well, you heard me.
SIGN    Miss Kobayashi
[20:16] K
    Yeah, it's good.
[20:17] T
    Of course it is!
[20:19] T
    I went to great lengths to make it so!
[20:22] T
    Of course, I mean within human lengths!
[20:25] K
    Tohru.
[20:26] T
    Yes?
[20:37] K
    Shall we head back?
[20:40] T
    Yes!
[20:44] T
    Oh, Miss Kobayashi,
    shall we breed before returning?
[20:47] K
    We won't!
[20:48] T
    But it's a great chance!
[20:49] K
    What kind of chance?
[20:50] K
    Also, don't say those things out loud.
[20:52] T
    I get it.
[20:53] T
    I'll go after you without a word, then!
[20:55] K
    That's not what I mean.
[21:08] K
    Everyone's fallen asleep.
[21:09] Takiya
    We were carrying on the whole time.
[21:12] Takiya
    They must be tired.
[21:15] K
    It really was fun.
[21:18] Takiya
    Yeah.
[21:19] K
    Takiya-kun, thanks.
[21:21] Takiya
    Don't mention it. We're pals.
[21:24] K
    Work pals?
[21:27] Takiya
    Friends.
[21:32] Elma
    I'm hungry.
[21:34] K
    Morning.
[21:35] K
    You were eating the whole time just now.
[21:38] Elma
    It's far, far from enough!
[21:40] T
    Elma, please be quiet.
[21:42] T
    You're too loud.
[21:44] Elma
    What'd you say?!
[21:45] T
    What about it?!
[21:46] K
    Now, now, don't fight.
[21:49] Takiya
    They're still full of energy.
[21:51] L
    If you're fighting, take it outside.
[21:53] T
    Very well! Elma, let's go outside!
[21:56] Elma
    Oh? I'd love to!
[22:00] F
    Hmph.