E8 - Grumpy Nakoru

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #08    Grumpy Nakoru
[02:06] SUIREN
    Another major leaguer has gone missing.
[02:09] SUIREN
    This is the seventh one.
[02:11] KIRYU
    The police are investigating the possibility
    the disappearances are linked,
[02:16] KIRYU
    but as of now, they have no leads.
[02:19] MINA
    I'm worried.
[02:22] MINA
    Next up are today's sports results.
[02:27] MINA
    At this morning's international
    swimming meet held in America,
[02:30] MINA
    Japan managed to come in second overall.
[02:33] NAKORU
    Onii-chan, time for dinner.
[02:37] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[02:40] KANJI
    Why'd you come barging in?
[02:42] NAKORU
    I've been calling you to dinner.
[02:45] KANJI
    Okay, okay.
[02:46] KANJI
    I'm sure it's just mini
    hamburgers again, right?
[02:48] KANJI
    I'm taking a bath first.
[02:50] NAKORU
    Your food will get cold.
[02:52] KANJI
    Oh, yeah?
[02:56] NAKORU
    What's his problem?
[03:04] NAKORU
    Let's see. If I do this, and then this...
SIGN    Tsukishiro Mina-chan's Friends
[03:11] NAKORU
    I knew it.
[03:26] NAKORU
    Sheesh.
[03:28] TSUKUDA
    We're excited to see what Japan does next.
[03:41] KANJI
    Hey, Nakoru, aren't you gonna eat with me?
[03:44] NAKORU
    Do whatever you want.
[03:46] KANJI
    What's wrong with you?
[03:48] NAKORU
    I'm not your maid.
[03:51] KANJI
    What's her problem?
[04:03] YOSHIMI
    It's crazy! I broke 20,000 visits.
[04:05] KANJI
    Huh.
[04:06] YOSHIMI
    I uploaded another photo of Tsukishiro.
[04:09] KANJI
    What?
[04:12] YOSHIMI
    Look at her midriff. Isn't it sexy?
[04:14] KANJI
    I don't care if it's sexy.
[04:16] KANJI
    I'm a genuine fan of Tsukishiro Mina.
[04:19] YOSHIMI
    This is incredible.
[04:20] KANJI
    What?
[04:31] NAKORU
    My brother sucks.
[04:34] NAKORU
    Why did it have to be Tsukishiro Mina?
[04:38] NAKORU
    What do you think, Tsukuda-senpai?
[04:41] MINA
    I'm sure Tsukishiro Mina is working very hard.
[04:45] NAKORU
    I don't care about that midriff-baring freak.
[04:50] NAKORU
    I'm talking about my brother.
[04:52] MINA
    Kanji?
[04:56] MINA
    I know he's working hard.
[04:58] NAKORU
    What?
[04:59] MINA
    He said the team would definitely
    make it to the Koshien next year.
[05:03] MINA
    The other day, he told me
    he wanted to join the major league.
[05:07] NAKORU
    But he doesn't tell me anything.
[05:12] NAKORU
    Maybe he doesn't need me anymore.
[05:17] MINA
    It's not that he's ignoring you.
[05:21] MINA
    When you're
    together all the time,
[05:23] MINA
    you start to blend in with the air around you.
[05:25] NAKORU
    That's for married couples.
[05:27] MINA
    What?
[05:28] MINA
    Is that right?
[05:30] MINA
    But I'm sure it's even more true for siblings.
[05:33] NAKORU
    No.
[05:36] MINA
    What?
[05:38] NAKORU
    Me and my brother aren't real siblings.
[05:42] MINA
    What?!
[05:48] NAKORU
    My real mom who lives far away asked
[05:51] NAKORU
    if I wanted to live with her
    once I entered high school.
[05:58] NAKORU
    My brother doesn't know about that, though.
[06:12] KANJI
    Nakoru!
[06:13] NAKORU
    What?
[06:15] KANJI
    Nice catch.
[06:17] NAKORU
    Sheesh.
[06:18] KANJI
    I'm tired of eating your
    mini hamburgers every day.
[06:22] KANJI
    Can't we have—
[06:23] NAKORU
    Then why don't you eat out?
[06:26] KANJI
    Don't get mad.
[06:27] KANJI
    When I become a major leaguer,
    I'll treat you to a huge hamburger.
[06:33] KANJI
    What's wrong, Nakoru?
[06:36] NAKORU
    Does that mean you'll go to America someday?
[06:39] KANJI
    Well, it's my dream.
[06:40] NAKORU
    You'll go alone?
[06:42] KANJI
    What?
[06:47] NAKORU
    You can't.
[06:48] KANJI
    What?
[06:53] NAKORU
    You'll never become a major leaguer.
[07:07] MINA
    Nako-chan and Kanji have
    a pretty complicated relationship.
[07:18] BABY
    Not there.
[07:22] WIFE B
    Did you see that?
[07:24] WIFE A
    Oh, I saw it.
[07:25] WIFE B
    Young people these days.
[07:26] MINA
    There, there. Hello.
[07:29] WIFE A
    Does Tsukuda-san have a baby?
[07:31] WIFE B
    There's no telling with kids these days.
[07:34] WIFE A
    What? It's Mina-chan's?
[07:38] MINA
    Why did you suddenly show up here?
[07:41] MINA
    What are you going to do if the neighbors
    start spreading weird rumors about me?
[07:45] BABY
    More importantly, aliens have
    been detected in the area.
[07:48] MINA
    What? Really?
[07:50] BABY
    It seems connected to
    the major leaguer disappearances.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[08:00] MOM
    Some ladies who live in the area
    saw Mina carrying a baby.
[08:04] MOM
    She didn't have it out of wedlock, did she?
[08:07] DAD
    Wedlock?
[08:08] MOM
    I'm joking.
[08:10] MOM
    She was probably babysitting a neighbor's kid.
[08:13] DAD
    That's not funny.
[08:15] MOM
    She's always wanted a younger sister.
[08:18] DAD
    What?
[08:19] DAD
    A younger sister?
[08:22] MOM
    She'd actually prefer a younger sister
    and an even younger brother.
[08:29] DAD
    A younger brother, too?
[08:33] MINA
    Oh, come on. I have
    a SpoLuna meeting soon, too.
SIGN    Vegetables
[08:39] MINA
    Jujitsu.
[08:51] CATCHER
    Nice pitch, Kanji.
[09:05] (Flashback) NAKORU
    You'll never become a major leaguer.
[09:09] (Flashback) NAKORU
    You can't even throw a dirty pitch.
[09:17] NAKORU
    It's his fault for ignoring me recently.
[09:22] NAKORU
    That's why I said that.
[09:25] NAKORU
    But that was a really mean thing to say.
[09:55] KANJI
    Oh, it's just a rabbit.
[09:58] KANJI
    Wait, rabbits don't make that sound!
[10:00] KANJI
    Huh?
[10:03] KANJI
    I must be tired. I've been practicing too much.
[10:08] BABY
    The aliens were detected around here.
[10:11] TSUKISHIRO
    This is my school.
[10:14] YOSHIMI
    It's a bird!
[10:16] YOSHIMI
    It's a rabbit!
[10:17] YOSHIMI
    No, it's Tsukishiro Mina!
[10:20] TSUKISHIRO
    Well, this isn't good.
[10:22] YOSHIMI
    Hey, wait! That midriff...
[10:26] KANJI
    An alien? Why are you wearing a skirt?
[10:29] ALIEN
    Can't you tell? Because I'm here to scout you.
[10:32] ALIEN
    I want you.
[10:33] ALIEN
    I want your dirty pitch.
[10:35] KANJI
    Dirty pitch? But that was...
[10:37] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[10:39] KANJI
    You idiot, stay away.
[10:43] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[10:47] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[10:49] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako?
[10:50] BABY
    It came from over there.
[10:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Did something happen?
[10:54] NAKORU
    My brother...
[10:55] TSUKISHIRO
    What? Kanji?
[10:58] TSUKISHIRO
    It's okay. He won't bite.
[11:01] BABY
    It used a teleportation gun.
[11:04] TSUKISHIRO
    Isn't there anything we can do?
[11:05] BABY
    If we plug the amount of energy transferred
    to virtual space into the formula,
[11:10] BABY
    we can determine where he was sent.
[11:13] TSUKISHIRO
    Whatever. Just do it quickly.
[11:15] NAKORU
    Where's my brother?
[11:16] TSUKISHIRO
    It's okay. we'll save Kanji—
[11:17] TSUKISHIRO
    I mean, we'll save your brother.
[11:20] BABY
    Okay. Great news.
[11:23] BABY
    He was sent someplace on Earth.
[11:24] BABY
    It's a bit far from here, though.
[11:25] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll go.
[11:26] NAKORU
    Wait.
[11:28] NAKORU
    Tsukishiro Mina-san, take me with you.
[11:30] BABY
    You can't. It's too dangerous.
[11:34] NAKORU
    I'm going to bring my brother back.
[11:44] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay. Let's go together.
[11:48] NAKORU
    Yeah.
[12:01] TSUKISHIRO
    Are you okay?
[12:03] NAKORU
    Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.
[12:06] TSUKISHIRO
    What?
[12:07] NAKORU
    For bringing me with you.
[12:08] TSUKISHIRO
    Sure.
[12:10] NAKORU
    Your crop top is cute.
[12:16] NAKORU
    Hang in there, Onii-chan.
[12:19] NAKORU
    I'm on my way.
[12:49] KANJI
    Hey, where are we?
[12:52] KANJI
    Is this heaven?
[12:54] ALIEN
    Would you like some ice?
[12:59] PLAYER
    Oh, yes.
[13:00] KANJI
    That's...
[13:03] PLAYER
    One, two, three, four.
[13:06] KANJI
    They're major leaguers.
[13:08] KANJI
    They're all the famous missing players.
[13:11] ALIEN
    That's right, Hazemi Kanji.
[13:13] KANJI
    You're that scout.
[13:15] ALIEN
    I'm sorry we had to bring you here by force.
[13:18] ALIEN
    We created an astral major league because
    we love Earth's civilization so much.
[13:24] KANJI
    An astral major league?
[13:25] ALIEN
    Yes. However, we lack players.
[13:29] ALIEN
    So we scouted them by force
    and had them sign contracts.
[13:34] ALIEN
    With your dirty pitch,
    this team will be perfect.
[13:37] KANJI
    What?
[13:38] ALIEN
    Please. We'd like you to become
    the star player of our dream team.
[13:42] KANJI
    With those major leaguers?
[13:43] ALIEN
    Our astral major league
    is still unknown on Earth.
[13:47] ALIEN
    But soon we'll catch up
    in terms of popularity and skill.
[13:50] ALIEN
    You'll become a famous player.
[13:54] KANJI
    If I become an astral major leaguer,
    will I get to meet Tsukishiro Mina?
[13:59] ALIEN
    Tsukishiro Mina, huh?
[14:02] KANJI
    I mean, I'm genuinely a fan of hers.
[14:07] ALIEN
    Baseball players
    and idols hook up all the time.
[14:11] KANJI
    What?
[14:12] ALIEN
    You might even get to date her—
    or even marry her.
[14:17] KANJI
    What?!
[14:19] KANJI
    Marry her?
[14:24] ALIEN
    Anyway, here's your contract.
[14:27] ALIEN
    Sign here, please.
[14:30] KANJI
    I can become an astral major leaguer...
[14:33] KANJI
    And marry Tsukishiro Mina...
[14:37] ALIEN
    Marry... marry...
[14:42] KANJI
    I won't do it.
[14:43] ALIEN
    What?
[14:46] KANJI
    The astral major league is played
    on planets other than Earth, right?
[14:50] KANJI
    I wouldn't be able to eat Nakoru's
    mini hamburgers anymore.
[14:54] ALIEN
    Mini hamburgers?
[14:56] KANJI
    Yeah. I won't do it.
[14:57] KANJI
    Could you send me back to where you found me?
[15:00] ALIEN
    No. We need your dirty pitch.
[15:03] KANJI
    What are you doing? Stop!
[15:07] NAKORU
    Onii-chan?
[15:08] BABY
    That's an Abductionite.
[15:10] TSUKISHIRO
    Get your hands off Kanji, Abductionite!
[15:14] ALIEN
    My dream team, drive off the intruders!
[15:21] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? Yikes!
[15:25] TSUKISHIRO
    They're just ordinary people being controlled.
[15:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Is running from them my only option?
[15:30] ALIEN
    Now sign the contract.
[15:31] KANJI
    Stop!
[15:33] ALIEN
    Then we can control you, too.
[15:36] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[15:37] NAKORU
    You little...
[15:39] ALIEN
    Back off!
[15:42] NAKORU
    No! Don't touch my brother!
[15:47] NAKORU
    Ouch...
[15:54] NAKORU
    Jujitsu.
[15:59] NARRATION
    The mini tomato she consumed
    contains an abundance of lycopene.
[16:03] NARRATION
    The active oxygen in her body is removed,
    and her cells are regenerated
[16:07] NARRATION
    as Hazemi Nakoru completes
    her Jujitsu transformation
[16:09] NARRATION
    into Minazuki Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[16:16] NAKORU
    Hi-yah!
[16:18] NARRATION
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[16:26] NARRATION
    The red-shift gravity catapult's super
    acceleration allows the weapon
[16:31] NARRATION
    to reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
SIGN    Eight
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Jujitsu Sequence In Progress
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
[17:42] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan!
[17:44] MINAZUKI
    What's going on?
[17:45] BABY
    Ah, Minazuki Mina.
[17:47] MINAZUKI
    What? I'm Minazuki Mina?
[17:50] KANJI
    Stop!
[17:52] MINAZUKI
    I need to save my brother.
[17:54] MINAZUKI
    Darn you!
[17:56] ALIEN
    Damn you, Minas!
[17:57] ALIEN
    I'll teleport you to the edges of the universe!
[18:00] KANJI
    Watch out, Mina!
[18:04] ALIEN
    What?
[18:19] ALIEN
    What kind of wimpy straight ball is this?
[18:20] ALIEN
    That's not a dirty pitch!
[18:22] KANJI
    Shut up!
[18:26] MINAZUKI
    Mini Tomato Boom Boom!
[18:42] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? What?
[18:44] TSUKISHIRO
    I guess Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force
[18:47] TSUKISHIRO
    is placing you under arrest for violating
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention Policy.
[18:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Kapow.
[18:53] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan. Onii-chan.
[18:57] KANJI
    I don't know which Mina-san you are,
    but you're cuter than Tsukishiro Mina.
[19:04] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan.
[19:06] BABY
    Your mother was the previous Minazuki Mina.
[19:10] MINAZUKI
    My mom was?
[19:11] BABY
    She had you after retiring
    from the Rabbit Force.
[19:16] BABY
    Mina powers are passed down to their
    daughters, and the mother loses her power.
[19:21] BABY
    The previous Mina was being
    hunted down by vengeful aliens
[19:25] BABY
    and was forced to go into hiding.
[19:29] MINAZUKI
    So that's why Mom left me with
    my current dad and went far away.
[19:36] TSUKISHIRO
    Does that mean my mom was a Mina, too?
[19:40] TSUKISHIRO
    SpoLuna is starting.
[19:48] MINA
    I'm sorry!
[19:50] KATO D
    Tsukuda, we go live in three minutes!
[19:53] MINA
    Here. Tsukishiro Mina-san gave this to me.
[19:56] KATO D
    What?
[19:57] MINA
    It's exclusive video of Abductionites.
[20:01] KATO D
    Suzuki, we've got a new top story!
[20:04] AD SUZUKI
    Yes, sir!
[20:13] SUIREN
    This just in.
[20:16] SUIREN
    The recent major leaguer
    disappearances have been solved.
[20:27] NAKORU
    Sorry, Mom.
[20:29] NAKORU
    I'm going to keep living here
    even after I enter high school.
[20:33] NAKORU
    I love you, but I'm my brother's little sister.
[20:43] NAKORU
    You're hopeless.
[20:45] KANJI
    Mini hamburgers...
[20:50] NAKORU
    You're so hopeless. I'll make some right now.
[21:08] TSUKUDA
    My mom was the previous Tsukishiro Mina.
[21:10] TSUKUDA
    I find that hard to believe.
[21:13] MUTSUMUNE
    What? Why?
[21:16] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, we're the only ones
    covering the major leaguer kidnappings.
[21:21] AD SUZUKI
    They're giving us an award.
[21:23] KATO D
    Good! It was our shrewd actions
    that led to this triumph!
[21:27] TSUKUDA
    My, my.
[21:28] KATO D
    Cheers!
[21:28] ALL
    Cheers!
[21:30] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm not injured today!
[21:31] MUTSUMUNE
    Yes! Cheers!
[21:36] SHIRAHIME
    My, my.
[21:36] MINA
    Mutsumune-san!
[21:38] HAZUKI
    She's got it rough.
[21:39] KATO D
    Mucchi, are you okay?
[21:41] AD SUZUKI
    Call an ambulance!
[21:43] KATO D
    Seriously? What a pain in the rear.
[23:08] ALIEN
    Minas, I challenge you to ping pong.
[23:11] ALIEN
    If you lose, I will reveal
    your embarrassing secrets.
[23:15] OTSUKI
    You're a Rallyan, a race of
    ping pong-loving aliens.
[23:17] TSUKUDA
    He seems strong.
[23:19] YUU
    But who would accept your challenge
    after that elaborate scheme?
[23:23] TSUKUDA
    I'll do it.
[23:24] TSUKUDA
    I need to get back to Earth soon for work.
[23:26] MINA
    In that case, let me handle this.
[23:28] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "Deathmatch at One Thousand Kilometers."
[23:32] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, we might really be
    in trouble this time.
[23:36] TSUKUDA
    Yikes.