E2 - I Love Pro Wrestling

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #02    I Love Pro Wrestling
[02:23] SUIREN
    Last night, a pro wrestling match
    was interrupted by a Lottanite.
[02:28] SUIREN
    However, Otsuki Mina apprehended the
    Lottanite, and the match resumed.
[02:33] DAISUKE
    This is the second time this month that
    aliens have interrupted our nation's sports events.
[02:39] MINA
    What are we to do about
    these alien sports fans?
[02:42] MINA
    It's thanks to the Rabbit Force that we
    can watch sports with peace of mind.
[02:46] SUIREN
    Athletes, thank you for another
    fine performance today.
[02:50] SUIREN
    We hope you'll do your best again tomorrow.
[02:57] STAFF
    Okay, good.
[03:02] DAISUKE
    You did pretty well today.
[03:05] MINA
    Thank you.
[03:06] DAISUKE
    Should we head out to Roppongi together?
[03:09] MINA
    Sure.
[03:09] SUIREN
    She can't. She's a high school student.
[03:13] DAISUKE
    You can join us in three years, then.
[03:15] STAFF
    What are we going to do about the
    three-minute segment that starts tomorrow?
[03:19] KATO
    Fifty years of pro wrestling history is just
    Ono P hankering for the good old days.
[03:23] KATO
    Pro wrestling isn't in right now.
[03:27] STAFF
    Yeah, but Ono P told us to do
    it, and my hands are full.
[03:32] STAFF
    Is there anyone we can hand it off to?
[03:33] KATO
    We don't have a choice.
    Make Tsukudani do it.
[03:37] STAFF
    What?
[03:39] STAFF
    Anyway, we're leaving it up to you, Tsukuda.
[03:42] MINA
    What?
[03:51] STAFF
    Every document created since Luna
    TV's founding is stored here.
[03:55] STAFF
    Use these to write a piece on
    50 years of pro wrestling.
[04:00] MINA
    By myself?
[04:02] STAFF
    That said, it airs tomorrow.
    Maybe I'm asking too much.
[04:05] MINA
    No, let me do it.
[04:07] STAFF
    What?
[04:08] MINA
    I don't have school tomorrow. I'll
    stay up all night researching.
[04:11] STAFF
    I'll get in trouble if I make
    a high school student do that.
[04:20] MINA
    Good evening.
[04:22] GUARD
    Good evening.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[04:32] MINA
    Sorry. I have to do some research.
[04:36] MOM
    Okay. Be careful.
[04:41] DAD
    Was that Mina?
[04:42] MOM
    Yes. She's working overtime.
[04:45] DAD
    Maybe it's not possible for her to work
    and go to school at the same time.
[04:51] MOM
    It's been her dream since grade school.
[04:53] MOM
    She'll be fine.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[05:16] ESCARTIN
    Nothing beats a rose bath
    on a weekend night.
[05:20] ESCARTIN
    It'd be a waste to not make full
    use of company facilities.
[05:32] ESCARTIN
    There's nothing good in here today.
[05:35] ESCARTIN
    I suppose I can let them
    off the hook with this.
[05:39] ESCARTIN
    Who is it?
[05:40] ESCARTIN
    The watchman shouldn't be on patrol yet.
[05:49] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani?
[05:51] ESCARTIN
    What is she doing at this hour?
[05:55] MINA
    I need to finish writing a script tonight.
[05:58] ESCARTIN
    She's doing what?
[06:00] ESCARTIN
    She'll pay for trying to earn points
    with such underhanded tricks.
[06:10] BABY
    Hey. I have a lot of things to tell you.
[06:14] MINA
    You shouldn't hide in there.
[06:16] ESCARTIN
    Did she notice me?
[06:18] MINA
    I'll pretend I never saw you.
[06:20] ESCARTIN
    If you insist.
[06:24] ESCARTIN
    Despite how she seems, she's
    actually quite capable.
[06:27] BABY
    I forgot to explain some
    things to you the other day.
[06:31] MINA
    I'm busy right now.
[06:34] BABY
    Sports entertainment is a rare
    custom found only on Earth.
[06:40] BABY
    Not only that, but it has
    captivated the entire universe,
[06:42] BABY
    and there are many passionate fans.
[06:45] BABY
    Because countless aliens attempt to
    interfere with sports entertainment,
[06:48] BABY
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention
    Policy and Rabbit Force were established,
[06:53] BABY
    as you earthlings know.
[06:55] BABY
    Arresting aliens who violate
    the policy is your job.
[06:58] BABY
    Tsukuda Mina, it is your destiny
    to live as Tsukishiro Mina.
[07:07] MINA
    Why?
[07:08] BABY
    What?
[07:09] BABY
    Uh, it's a long story...
[07:13] MINA
    I'm not going to become Mina.
[07:15] BABY
    What? Why not?
[07:16] MINA
    I've already got my hands full attending
    school and working as an announcer.
[07:20] BABY
    Then you should quit being an announcer.
[07:23] MINA
    What?
[07:24] BABY
    What?
[07:30] MINA
    You're interrupting my work.
[07:32] GUARD
    S-Sorry.
[07:35] MINA
    No, I'm sorry.
SIGN    After the death of Rikidoyama, the grandfather 
    of Japanese professional wrestling, two huge stars 
    known as Dinosaur Babb and Hercules Inochi
     carried on his legacy.
    Dinosaur Babb founded the All Japan Pro Wrestling
[08:17] MINA
    I had no idea the office
    had such a beautiful bath.
[08:21] MINA
    Not only that, but the
    smell of roses is lovely.
[08:27] MINA
    I need to do my best to be both a
    high school student and an announcer.
[08:31] MINA
    After all, I'm going to be like Suiren-san.
SIGN    50 Years of 
    Japanese Pro
     Wrestling
[08:51] JUNICHIRO
    Yes, yes, yes.
[08:55] JUNICHIRO
    My Tsukuda Mina fan site
    got hugged to death.
SIGN    High School Announcer 
    Tsukuda Mina 
    is Adorable!
[09:00] JUNICHIRO
    See? You should check it out.
[09:02] JUNICHIRO
    Everyone's going crazy for her.
[09:05] KANJI
    I'm not interested in that kind of thing.
SIGN    High School Announcer 
    Tsukuda Mina 
    is Adorable!
[09:07] JUNICHIRO
    What are you talking about, Kanji?
[09:09] JUNICHIRO
    Are you behind the times?
[09:12] JUNICHIRO
    My Tsukuda Mina.
[09:14] KANJI
    She doesn't belong to you.
[09:25] BABY
    Lottanites have been detected.
[09:29] BABY
    They hadn't left Earth yet.
[09:35] STAFF
    You think Tsukuda-chan's gonna be okay?
[09:37] KATO
    If she's not, it suits me
    just fine to send her home.
[09:39] STAFF
    What?
[09:40] KATO
    I'll pin the blame on her and make her quit.
[09:44] STAFF
    Kato D, merciless as ever.
[09:50] KATO
    How long is Ono P going
    to keep using Tsukuda?
[09:55] KATO
    Huh?
SIGN    50 Years of 
    Japanese Pro
     Wrestling
[10:01] MINA
    Sorry to bother you. I tried writing
    a script for the new segment, but...
[10:05] SUIREN
    It's no good.
[10:06] MINA
    What?
[10:07] SUIREN
    It's not written in your own words.
[10:10] SUIREN
    This is the first script you've
    written yourself, right?
[10:14] SUIREN
    You can't sound like you're
    reading off a script.
[10:16] SUIREN
    You have to hammer it into your head
    and speak with your own words.
[10:20] MINA
    Okay. I'll do my best.
[10:33] MINA
    I'm too tired to memorize anything.
[10:39] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani-san.
[10:42] ESCARTIN
    Here. Isn't this your script
    for tonight's broadcast?
[10:45] ESCARTIN
    Wouldn't you panic during
    the show if you forgot it?
[10:47] MINA
    Yes, thank you.
[10:53] ESCARTIN
    That's a script, but it's the
    script for my cooking show.
[10:58] ESCARTIN
    Your 50 years of pro wrestling
    script is right here.
[11:04] MINA
    Good morning.
[11:06] ALL
    Good morning.
[11:09] SUIREN
    Don't run before a show.
[11:11] MINA
    I know.
[11:12] SUIREN
    Good attitude.
[11:13] DAISUKE
    I'm looking forward to your new corner.
[11:15] MINA
    Thank you.
[11:16] ALL
    Good morning.
[11:20] MINA
    Good morning...
[11:24] MINA
    Did I do something to upset him again?
[11:27] MINA
    Director Kato is acting weird.
[11:29] DAISUKE
    Of course not. It must be your imagination.
[11:35] STAFF
    Has he gotten bigger?
[11:38] STAFF
    We're going live in ten seconds.
[11:41] STAFF
    Eight, seven, six, five,
[11:46] STAFF
    four, three...
[11:56] SUIREN
    Good evening. It's time
    for SpoLuna on Saturday.
[11:59] DAISUKE
    The first episode of our new segment starting
    tonight is on 50 years of Japanese pro wrestling.
[12:05] MINA
    Tonight, Tsukuda Mina's new segment will
    cover the king of sports entertainment
[12:09] MINA
    that began with the rise of TV and
    built a golden era during the Showa Period,
[12:13] MINA
    professional wrestling.
[12:15] MINA
    For pro wrestling, first take one
    teaspoon each of sugar and salt...
[12:19] MINA
    What?
SIGN    Delicious Pork and Potatoes Recipe
     So good!
     Ingredients
     Meat On Sale
     Carrots
     Cabbage
     Bell Peppers
     Shimeji Mushrooms To Taste
     Generous Amount of Soy Sauce
     Sugar
     Salt To Taste
     Lots of Peppers
     Recipe
     Let's get cooking!
     1. Boil meat.
[12:25] MINA
    What's going on?
[12:28] MINA
    My script got swapped out for
    a cooking show's script.
[12:46] ESCARTIN
    You're finished, Tsukudani-san.
[12:51] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[12:53] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[12:56] (Flashback) SUIREN
    This is the first script you've
    written yourself, right?
[12:59] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You can't sound like you're
    reading off a script.
[13:01] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You have to hammer it into your head
    and speak with your own words.
[13:13] MINA
    After the death of Rikidoyama, the
    grandfather of Japanese professional wrestling,
[13:17] MINA
    two huge stars known as Dinosaur Babb and
    Hercules Inochi carried on his legacy.
[13:23] ESCARTIN
    What? Tsukudani memorized her script!
[13:26] MINA
    Dinosaur Babb founded the All
    Japan Pro Wrestling Association,
[13:29] MINA
    while Hercules Inochi founded the New
    Japanese Pro Wrestling Association.
[13:33] MINA
    The two became rivals who
    competed against one another.
[13:35] MINA
    In order to strike back
    against Dinosaur Babb,
[13:36] STAFF
    Not bad, Tsukuda-chan.
[13:37] MINA
    who was well-connected with
    American pro wrestling,
[13:40] MINA
    Hercules Inochi created a new sport
    known as multi-discipline combat sports,
[13:44] MINA
    which briefly became popular.
[13:46] MINA
    Later, Hercules Inochi would
    repeatedly challenge Dinosaur Babb
[13:49] MINA
    to a match to determine the champion of
    Japanese pro wrestling once and for all.
[13:53] MINA
    Though Babb once accepted the challenge
    in the all star ring, ultimately,
[13:57] MINA
    a match between the greats was never
    arranged and ended as the eternal dream
[14:03] MINA
    of pro wrestling fans.
[14:06] MINA
    Who was truly stronger, Babb or Inochi?
[14:13] STAFF
    That excited you, Kato-san?
[14:15] STAFF
    But you don't care about pro wrestling.
[14:17] STAFF
    Don't you think you're too big, Kato-san?
[14:20] KATO
    Dinosaur Babb's Duronmon Kick!
[14:33] MINA
    It's the Lottanite from
    last night's news story.
[14:35] STAFF
    What should we do, Onoue P?
[14:36] ONOUE
    Continue broadcasting.
[14:39] GUARD
    Kato-san! Hang in there, Kato-san!
[14:42] ESCARTIN
    No! Now I'll never get married!
[14:45] ALIEN
    Hercules Inochi's Octopus Hold!
[14:47] ESCARTIN
    Stop! Stay away!
[14:49] ALIEN
    We've taken over this show!
[14:52] ALIEN
    We demand a 60-minute death
    match between Dinosaur Babb
[14:58] ALIEN
    and Hercules Inochi to
    determine who is stronger!
[15:02] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[15:03] SUIREN
    Don't. It's too dangerous.
[15:08] MINA
    Please leave.
[15:11] MINA
    This is my first segment.
[15:14] MINA
    It may be only three minutes, but I
    spent a whole day writing my report.
[15:19] MINA
    Please let me finish the job.
[15:22] MINA
    Please.
[15:33] ALIEN
    I demand a match!
[15:36] MINA
    That's impossible.
[15:37] MINA
    Hercules Inochi has retired,
    and Dinosaur Babb passed away.
[15:41] ALIEN
    What?
[15:41] MINA
    Their showdown ended as a dream.
[15:44] ALIEN
    You're lying! You're lying! You're lying!
[15:46] ALIEN
    I won't believe your lies!
[15:48] ALIEN
    I just watched them fight last night.
[15:51] MINA
    That was a satellite rebroadcast.
[15:57] ALIEN
    You're lying. You're lying.
[15:58] ALIEN
    Dinosaur and Hercules are eternal heroes.
[16:02] ALIEN
    Unless you promise to air their showdown,
[16:05] ALIEN
    we'll destroy Luna TV ten minutes from now.
[16:08] MINA
    Please don't.
[16:16] SUIREN
    Grab a handy cam and come with me.
[16:18] SUIREN
    We're going after him.
[16:19] CAMERAMAN
    Yes, ma'am.
[16:24] ALIEN
    Three, two, one.
[16:28] SUIREN
    The Lottanite continues to
    demand the showdown of dreams
[16:31] SUIREN
    and has holed up on the roof of Luna TV.
[16:33] ALIEN
    Bomber!
[16:35] ALIEN
    We demand a showdown between
    Dinosaur Babb and Hercules Inochi.
[16:41] ALIEN
    Otherwise, we'll attack Luna TV.
[16:54] SUIREN
    Aliens have begun attacking,
[16:56] SUIREN
    but we'll continue broadcasting
    until the end.
[16:59] DAISUKE
    Suiren, it's dangerous
    out there. Be careful.
[17:02] DAISUKE
    There are still no signs
    of the Rabbit Force.
[17:05] MINA
    Suiren-san...
[17:13] MINA
    There are carrots in this vegetable juice.
[17:16] MINA
    Could it be? But I...
[17:21] DAISUKE
    Suiren, are you all right?
[17:23] SUIREN
    Suiren here. Currently on the roof—
SIGN    29 Vegetables
     7820μg of β-Carotene
[17:37] MINA
    Jujitsu...
[17:42] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The carrot she consumed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[17:46] MALE ANNOUNCER
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[17:50] MALE ANNOUNCER
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[17:55] MALE ANNOUNCER
    as Tsukuda Mina completes her Jujitsu
    transformation into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[18:03] MALE ANNOUNCER
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[18:11] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The red-shift gravity catapult's
    super acceleration allows the weapon
[18:15] MALE ANNOUNCER
    to reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
SIGN    One
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Jujitsu Sequence In Progress
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
[20:00] MINA
    Lottanites, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[20:04] MINA
    Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force
    is placing you under arrest.
[20:18] MINA
    Carrot Launcher!
[20:23] ALIEN
    Take this! Drop Kick!
[20:29] ALIEN
    Axe Bomber!
[20:31] MINA
    STO!
[20:33] MINA
    Rabbit Lock!
[20:39] ALIEN
    I've never seen anything like this!
[20:42] MINA
    We're long past Dinosaur Babb's era!
[20:46] ALIEN
    I give up, I give up!
[20:48] MINA
    The Lottanites have been apprehended!
[21:03] KATO
    Where were you, Tsukuda?
[21:06] KATO
    What kind of jerk abandons
    the set during a broadcast?
[21:09] KATO
    Your three-minute segment is canceled!
[21:11] MINA
    What?
[21:12] KATO
    This industry is no place
    for students, you hear?
[21:16] STAFF
    Kato-san.
[21:17] KATO
    What?
[21:18] STAFF
    We're getting tons of calls requesting the
    continuation of the three-minute segment.
[21:22] KATO
    What?
[21:24] STAFF
    They were touched by the way Tsukuda-chan
    took on the alien unarmed to protect her segment.
[21:29] KATO
    Fine, then.
[21:31] KATO
    The three-minute segment will
    become a regular thing.
[21:36] ALL
    Cheers!
[21:37] KATO
    Come on, drink up and make some noise!
[21:41] KATO
    Come on, drink!
[21:42] MINA
    Thank you.
[21:43] KATO
    I'm not talking to you!
[23:08] SISTER
    Onii-chan, what's wrong with
    you? She came to cheer for you.
[23:12] KANJI
    She's changed. Work is more
    important to her than us now.
[23:17] SISTER
    That's not true. Don't you
    remember your promise?
[23:21] SISTER
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "The Promised Dirty Pitch."
[23:25] MINA
    I won't let them interfere
    with Kanji's match.
[23:27] MINA
    Rabbit Force member Tsukishiro
    Mina will arrest the Yellenites.
[23:31] KATO
    Hey, Tsukuda! Where are you
    going during a broadcast?
[23:35] MINA
    Sorry...