Season 1

E1 - First Jujitsu

Source: Crunchyroll
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Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Yurikamone
[01:56] MINA
    Level 1: Though blue dye comes from the
    indigo plant, it's bluer than indigo.
[02:02] MINA
    Level 2: Passengers on cargo-passenger ships
    are treated like cargo and pay a low fare.
[02:14] MINA
    Level 3: The frog hippity-hops three
    hops, six hops, nine hops, and ten hops.
[02:19] GUARD
    Hey, you. Visitors must stop by reception.
[02:21] MINA
    Sorry.
[02:22] MINA
    I'm running late because I was
    working on enunciation exercises.
[02:26] GUARD
    Hey, stop. Stop.
[02:26] MINA
    Level 4: In Kyoto's Sanjusangen-do,
    they say there are...
[02:30] MINA
    Now which way is the studio?
[02:33] MINA
    This way, maybe?
[02:35] MINA
    In Kyoto's Sanjusangen-do, they
    say there are 33,333 buddhas.
[02:41] MINA
    I feel like I'm getting farther
    and farther away from the studio.
[02:58] ESCARTIN
    Damn it. That should be my seat.
[03:04] STAFF
    I'm sorry, but she still hasn't shown up.
[03:07] DAISUKE
    Late on her first day,
    huh? She's got some guts.
[03:11] SUIREN
    Leave the rest to us.
[03:12] KATO
    What? She's still not here?
[03:15] KATO
    What are we going to do?
[03:18] KATO
    This is why I was against
    hiring a high school girl.
[03:22] STAFF
    We're going live in ten seconds.
[03:25] STAFF
    Eight, seven, six, five,
[03:29] STAFF
    four, three...
[03:57] MINA
    For the peace and happiness
    of all six billion earthlings,
[04:00] MINA
    high school announcer Tsukuda
    Mina is here to do her best.
SIGN    Tsukuda
    Mina
SIGN    #01 First Jujitsu
[04:10] SUIREN
    Athletes, thank you for another
    fine performance today.
[04:14] SUIREN
    We hope you'll do your best again tomorrow.
[04:19] SUIREN
    Today's SpoLuna was presented by Kiryu
    Daisuke, Koshu Suiren, and Tsukuda Mina.
[04:25] SUIREN
    See you tomorrow.
[04:27] FEMALE VOICE
    Why?
[04:28] MALE VOICE
    On Earth...
[04:30] MINA
    I'm sorry.
[04:31] KATO
    You think sorry's gonna cut it?
[04:33] MINA
    I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[04:36] KATO
    Come on, Onoue P.
[04:37] KATO
    Fire this high school girl this instant.
[04:42] DAISUKE
    I thought her performance was pretty good.
[04:45] ESCARTIN
    Forgive the poor girl already, Onopyon.
[04:50] ONOUE
    I'll make my decision once
    I've seen tomorrow's numbers.
[04:53] KATO
    Don't think you're off the hook.
[04:56] MINA
    I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[05:00] DAISUKE
    Well, just don't practice too much.
[05:05] MINA
    Kiryu-san.
[05:07] SUIREN
    You can't help making mistakes.
[05:08] SUIREN
    But no announcer should run until she's
    short of breath just before going live.
[05:23] MINA
    I'm off.
[05:30] MINA
    Suiren-san hates me now.
SIGN    Tsukishima Shopping Center
[05:40] MAN 1
    So, anyway...
[05:41] MAN 1
    Hey, Mina-chan. We saw you last night.
[05:42] MAN 1
    What an incredible debut!
[05:45] MAN 2
    I've never seen such an
    entertaining episode of SpoLuna.
[05:48] WOMAN 1
    What will you be wearing tonight?
[05:50] WOMAN 1
    Good luck.
[05:51] MINA
    Thank you.
[06:00] MINA
    Wait!
[06:03] MINA
    I'm running late, but I mustn't run.
SIGN    Tsukishima Academy
[06:22] JUNICHIRO
    Hey, Kanji.
[06:26] JUNICHIRO
    Did you watch yesterday's SpoLuna?
[06:29] KANJI
    No.
[06:30] JUNICHIRO
    What? You could say we
    witnessed a glorious debut.
[06:33] JUNICHIRO
    I've made up my mind.
[06:35] JUNICHIRO
    I'm starting a fan site for Tsukuda.
[06:37] KANJI
    Don't you run a fan site for Mina, too?
[06:40] JUNICHIRO
    As of this moment, I live for Tsukuda.
[06:44] KANJI
    I don't care.
[06:46] JUNICHIRO
    It was so good. You really didn't watch it?
[06:53] TOMO
    I know it's tough being a high school
     student and announcer at the same time.
[06:58] TOMO
    I doubt anyone would complain if you quit.
[07:02] MINA
    Oh, I'm fine. I can keep going.
[07:06] TOMO
    You're always so optimistic.
[07:11] MINA
    Why is that?
[07:14] (Flashback) WOMAN
    You worked hard until the end.
[07:18] MINA
    For some reason...
[07:22] MINA
    For some reason, I feel
    like I can keep trying.
[07:33] TOMO
    If you're capable of trying so hard,
    then why not try hard fix your picky eating?
[07:36] MINA
    Not carrots.
[07:38] MINA
    I've decided not to try hard
    when it comes to carrots.
[07:41] TOMO
    What does that mean?
[07:43] FEMALE ANNOUNCER
    Our next story: accomplished major leaguer
    Nikaido returns to the world of Japanese baseball.
SIGN    Nikaido Returns to Japan Today
[07:51] NIKAIDO
    Yay. I'll be coming back tonight.
[07:55] MINA
    To capture a tiger, capture a bird.
    Capture the tiger with the bird as bait.
[08:00] MINA
    The struggle to harvest the yam doesn't
    compare to the struggle of making thick yam soup.
[08:17] STAFF
    Hey, Tsukuda-chan. You're
    getting great numbers.
[08:20] MINA
    What?
[08:21] STAFF
    Could you handle today's live interview
    with Nikaido at Aoyama Stadium?
[08:27] MINA
    Okay...
[08:29] DAISUKE
    Our ratings jumped when you made
    your memorable debut yesterday.
[08:34] MINA
    Oh?
[08:35] DAISUKE
    In this industry, numbers are everything.
[08:39] MINA
    I see.
[08:41] DAISUKE
    Want some?
[08:43] MINA
    Oh, no, thank you. I couldn't.
[08:47] SUIREN
    You chose her out of numerous
    candidates, so you must have a plan.
[08:54] ONOUE
    Are you curious?
[08:55] SUIREN
    It's the staff and crew
    that suffer because of her.
[09:00] ONOUE
    She's a lot like you used to be.
[09:06] SUIREN
    Yeah, right.
[09:22] BABY
    I finally found you.
[09:33] FAN
    Another beer, miss.
[09:36] BEER GIRL
    Coming!
[09:41] MINA
    What? But...
[09:46] STAFF
    Okay, you're good to go.
[09:48] KATO
    Onoue P's all the about
    the ratings, but I'm not.
[09:52] KATO
    The next time you screw up, you're fired.
[09:56] STAFF
    I know what Kato-san said, but good luck.
[10:01] MINA
    I'm starting to feel nervous.
[10:03] DAISUKE
    Can you hear me, Tsukuda?
[10:05] MINA
    Yes.
[10:06] DAISUKE
    Take it easy.
[10:07] DAISUKE
    Just do what you did yesterday.
[10:10] MINA
    Okay, Kiryu-san. Thank you.
[10:15] MINA
    All right.
[10:16] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani-san.
[10:18] MINA
    Uh, Mutsumune Es... Es...
[10:21] ESCARTIN
    It's Escartin.
[10:23] MINA
    Sorry.
[10:24] ESCARTIN
    By the way, have you already
    introduced yourself to Nikaido?
[10:29] MINA
    Huh?
[10:30] ESCARTIN
    I thought so.
[10:33] ESCARTIN
    Nikaido is an eccentric
    man we call "the Alien."
[10:37] ESCARTIN
    He might sulk if you
    don't introduce yourself.
[10:39] MINA
    What? Really?
[10:41] MINA
    Uh, um...
[10:43] ESCARTIN
    The dressing room is this way.
[10:46] MINA
    Thank you.
[10:48] ESCARTIN
    I have high hopes for your first interview.
[10:52] MINA
    Thank you.
[10:55] ESCARTIN
    Yeah, hoping you fail.
SIGN    Dressing Room
[11:02] MINA
    Mutsumune-san has high hopes for me.
[11:04] MINA
    I need to succeed today.
[11:08] MINA
    Oh, no. I'm not supposed to run.
[11:12] MINA
    Uh, um... the dressing room...
[11:18] MINA
    Huh?
[11:19] Mina
    Where am I?
[11:23] MINA
    I'm lost!
[11:32] NIKAIDO
    Don't worry.
[11:34] NIKAIDO
    Starting today, I'll become
    a hero in your place.
[11:38] NIKAIDO
    On this planet with its weak gravity,
    I can hit plenty of home runs.
[11:39] MINA
    Oh, good. That's Nikaido's voice.
[11:46] MINA
    Excuse me.
[11:59] MINA
    I'm sorry.
SIGN    Rabbits
    Dressing Room
[12:05] MINA
    Wait, what was that?
[12:13] NIKAIDO
    You saw, didn't you?
[12:16] NIKAIDO
    I'll get you.
[12:24] MINA
    I'm done for...
[12:46] OTSUKI
    Take this.
[12:52] NIKAIDO
    Who are you?
[12:54] OTSUKI
    Your kind never learn their lesson, do they?
[12:57] OTSUKI
    Rapanite, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[13:02] OTSUKI
    Otsuki Mina of the Rabbit Force
    is placing you under arrest.
[13:05] MINA
    Mina?
[13:08] OTSUKI
    If you don't want to die, you
    should Jujitsu while you can.
[13:11] MINA
    What? Jujitsu?
[13:18] OHTSUKI
    Stop right there, you slimy bastard!
[13:21] MINA
    Huh? What?
[13:24] MINA
    What's going on?
[13:29] KATO
    Damn it. Where did Tsukuda go?
[13:31] STAFF
    Kato-san.
[13:32] KATO
    What?
[13:34] STAFF
    I've got Mucchi on standby.
[13:37] KATO
    Okay, we're switching to Mutsumune.
[13:39] ESCARTIN
    Yes, sir. I'll do my best.
[13:44] ESCARTIN
    Looks like my plan worked.
[13:48] ESCARTIN
    Now let's go.
[13:51] KATO
    Is the building shaking?
[13:52] ESCARTIN
    What is that?
[13:54] KATO
    It's shaking.
[13:57] ESCARTIN
    Huh? What?
[14:07] ESCARTIN
    What was that about?
[14:13] MALE ANNOUNCER
    We all have high hopes for
    Nikaido who's gotten even
[14:16] Male Announcer
    bigger after his stint in the major league.
[14:19] FEMALE ANNOUNCER
    #1, center field, Nikaido.
[14:21] FEMALE ANNOUNCER
    He's wearing number...
[14:34] FAN
    That's too big.
[14:38] NIKAIDO
    Nikaido!
[14:48] FEMALE ANNOUNCER
    It's Otsuki Mina. Otsuki Mina
    has appeared on the field.
[14:52] ONOUE
    Cameras, switch to her.
[14:55] DAISUKE
    Breaking news.
[14:57] DAISUKE
    Otsuki Mina has appeared again tonight.
SIGN    Tsukishima Shopping Center
[15:00] DAISUKE
    We're broadcasting live from Aoyama Stadium.
[15:03] WOMAN
    Otsuki Mina is always so beautiful.
[15:06] OTSUKI
    Here I come.
[15:11] OTSUKI
    Take this.
[15:41] OTSUKI
    Nailed it.
[15:47] OTSUKI
    What?
[16:00] MINA
    Calm down.
[16:01] MINA
    I'm an announcer. What should
    I do in situations like this?
[16:05] MINA
    Guidelines for announcers.
    Number 1: Announcers are...
[16:09] BABY
    This is no time to be looking at that.
[16:10] MINA
    Who's there?
[16:14] BABY
    Tsukuda Mina, you are also
    a Getsumento Heiki Mina.
[16:18] BABY
    As a member of the Rabbit Force,
[16:21] Baby
    it is your duty to protect
    Earth from alien interference.
[16:25] BABY
    Earth's sports entertainment is
    unparalleled throughout space.
[16:30] BABY
    Countless numbers of wicked aliens
[16:32] BABY
    seek to meddle with it out of
    curiosity or for personal gain.
[16:36] BABY
    They're a passionate fan of Nikaido's
    who attempted to replace him.
[16:42] BABY
    You must protect Earth's
    sports entertainment by...
[16:46] MINA
    What?
[16:49] BABY
    In any case, you're a Mina, too.
[16:50] BABY
    You must Jujitsu right away.
[16:52] MINA
    But this is my first interview.
[16:55] MINA
    I need to succeed and gain everyone's trust,
[16:57] MINA
    and I need to introduce
    myself to Nikaido-san.
[16:58] BABY
    You've completely lost your mind. Fine, then.
[17:07] BABY
    Rabbit suit on.
[17:12] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The carrot she was fed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[17:16] MALE ANNOUNCER
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[17:20] MALE ANNOUNCER
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[17:24] MALE ANNOUNCER
    as Tsukuda Mina completes her Jujitsu
    transformation into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[17:40] MINA
    I hate carrots.
[17:42] MINA
    Huh? Why am I dressed like this?
[17:45] BABY
    Launch carrot weapon.
[17:49] MALE ANNOUNCER
    Mina's weapon is launched
    from the Rabbit Force base
[17:53] MALE ANNOUNCER
    secretly constructed on the moon.
[17:57] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The red-shift gravity catapult's
    super acceleration allows the
[18:01] MALE ANNOUNCER
    weapon to reach Earth in an
    average time of 14.7 seconds.
[19:05] MINA
    Carrot weapon?
[19:09] MINA
    Oh, those things?
[19:11] BABY
    Yes.
[19:21] BABY
    Now fight.
[19:22] BABY
    The method is written in your genes.
[19:28] BABY
    What's the matter?
[19:29] MINA
    I'm not sure I get it,
[19:32] MINA
    but I feel like trying my best.
[19:37] BABY
    Oh, really?
[19:38] MINA
    Here we go.
[19:49] NIKAIDO
    Crack!
[19:55] MALE ANNOUNCER
    Former major leaguer Nikaido's
    power is incredible.
[19:59] FAN 1
    He's too powerful.
[20:01] FAN 2
    Look at Otsuki Mina.
[20:04] OTSUKI
    Now you've done it.
[20:15] FEMALE ANNOUNCER
    They've swapped pitchers. It's, uh...
[20:19] BABY
    Tsukishiro Mina.
[20:21] MINA
    For the peace and happiness
    of all six billion earthlings,
[20:26] MINA
    Rabbit Force member Tsukishiro
    Mina is here to do her best.
[20:42] OTSUKI
    Stop hogging the spotlight, newbie.
[20:45] MINA
    Sorry.
[20:46] OTSUKI
    I'll let you have it today.
[20:49] OTSUKI
    Now let's kick his ass.
[20:51] MINA
    Okay.
[21:09] OTSUKI
    Now, newbie!
[21:11] MINA
    Okay.
[21:13] MALE ANNOUNCER
    By merging with the wielder's body, Mina
    weapons achieve their maximum power.
[21:20] MALE ANNOUNCER
    They are the ultimate weapon.
[21:27] MINA
    Carrot Hammer!
[21:50] MINA
    I'm not sure I get it, but I did it.
[21:53] OTSUKI
    It's not over yet.
[22:03] MINA
    The Rapanite has been arrested.
[22:11] MINA
    This is Tsukuda Mina.
[22:13] MINA
    Today I'm interviewing the
    Alien of baseball, Nikaido.
[22:17] ESCARTIN
    Why? I should be there interviewing him.
[22:23] KATO
    It's a good thing Tsukishiro Mina showed up.
[22:27] KATO
    Where were you during the interview?
[22:29] MINA
    Uh, um...
[22:32] MINA
    Sorry.
[22:34] STAFF
    What's the big deal?
[22:35] STAFF
    SpoLuna got an exclusive
    scoop on today's incident.
[22:38] STAFF
    I'm looking forward to tomorrow's ratings.
[22:40] KATO
    I guess so.
[22:41] KATO
    For now, cheers!
[22:44] ALL
    Cheers!
[22:48] STAFF
    Keep the food coming, ma'am.
[22:51] CHEF
    Yes, sir.
[22:53] MINA
    Today, I probably shouldn't try to think
    about happened then or after that.
[23:03] MINA
    Carrot juice!
[24:28] MINA
    What? You want me to host a mini-segment?
[24:30] STAFF
    I'd like you to write a piece on
    50 years of pro wrestling history.
[24:33] STAFF
    It airs tomorrow. Is that too much to ask?
[24:35] MINA
    No, I'll do it. Please let me do it.
[24:37] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani's got her own segment?
[24:39] ESCARTIN
    That brat will pay for this.
[24:41] ESCARTIN
    I'll show her how harsh life can be.
[24:44] MINA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "I Love Pro Wrestling."
[24:48] MINA
    Rabbit Force member Tsukishiro
    Mina will arrest the Lottanites.
[24:51] SUIREN
    No good. Those aren't your own words.
[24:54] MINA
    Aw...

E2 - I Love Pro Wrestling

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #02 I Love Pro Wrestling
[02:23] SUIREN
    Last night, a pro wrestling match
    was interrupted by a Lottanite.
[02:28] SUIREN
    However, Otsuki Mina apprehended the
    Lottanite, and the match resumed.
[02:33] DAISUKE
    This is the second time this month that
    aliens have interrupted our nation's sports events.
[02:39] MINA
    What are we to do about
    these alien sports fans?
[02:42] MINA
    It's thanks to the Rabbit Force that we
    can watch sports with peace of mind.
[02:46] SUIREN
    Athletes, thank you for another
    fine performance today.
[02:50] SUIREN
    We hope you'll do your best again tomorrow.
[02:57] STAFF
    Okay, good.
[03:02] DAISUKE
    You did pretty well today.
[03:05] MINA
    Thank you.
[03:06] DAISUKE
    Should we head out to Roppongi together?
[03:09] MINA
    Sure.
[03:09] SUIREN
    She can't. She's a high school student.
[03:13] DAISUKE
    You can join us in three years, then.
[03:15] STAFF
    What are we going to do about the
    three-minute segment that starts tomorrow?
[03:19] KATO
    Fifty years of pro wrestling history is just
    Ono P hankering for the good old days.
[03:23] KATO
    Pro wrestling isn't in right now.
[03:27] STAFF
    Yeah, but Ono P told us to do
    it, and my hands are full.
[03:32] STAFF
    Is there anyone we can hand it off to?
[03:33] KATO
    We don't have a choice.
    Make Tsukudani do it.
[03:37] STAFF
    What?
[03:39] STAFF
    Anyway, we're leaving it up to you, Tsukuda.
[03:42] MINA
    What?
[03:51] STAFF
    Every document created since Luna
    TV's founding is stored here.
[03:55] STAFF
    Use these to write a piece on
    50 years of pro wrestling.
[04:00] MINA
    By myself?
[04:02] STAFF
    That said, it airs tomorrow.
    Maybe I'm asking too much.
[04:05] MINA
    No, let me do it.
[04:07] STAFF
    What?
[04:08] MINA
    I don't have school tomorrow. I'll
    stay up all night researching.
[04:11] STAFF
    I'll get in trouble if I make
    a high school student do that.
[04:20] MINA
    Good evening.
[04:22] GUARD
    Good evening.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[04:32] MINA
    Sorry. I have to do some research.
[04:36] MOM
    Okay. Be careful.
[04:41] DAD
    Was that Mina?
[04:42] MOM
    Yes. She's working overtime.
[04:45] DAD
    Maybe it's not possible for her to work
    and go to school at the same time.
[04:51] MOM
    It's been her dream since grade school.
[04:53] MOM
    She'll be fine.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[05:16] ESCARTIN
    Nothing beats a rose bath
    on a weekend night.
[05:20] ESCARTIN
    It'd be a waste to not make full
    use of company facilities.
[05:32] ESCARTIN
    There's nothing good in here today.
[05:35] ESCARTIN
    I suppose I can let them
    off the hook with this.
[05:39] ESCARTIN
    Who is it?
[05:40] ESCARTIN
    The watchman shouldn't be on patrol yet.
[05:49] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani?
[05:51] ESCARTIN
    What is she doing at this hour?
[05:55] MINA
    I need to finish writing a script tonight.
[05:58] ESCARTIN
    She's doing what?
[06:00] ESCARTIN
    She'll pay for trying to earn points
    with such underhanded tricks.
[06:10] BABY
    Hey. I have a lot of things to tell you.
[06:14] MINA
    You shouldn't hide in there.
[06:16] ESCARTIN
    Did she notice me?
[06:18] MINA
    I'll pretend I never saw you.
[06:20] ESCARTIN
    If you insist.
[06:24] ESCARTIN
    Despite how she seems, she's
    actually quite capable.
[06:27] BABY
    I forgot to explain some
    things to you the other day.
[06:31] MINA
    I'm busy right now.
[06:34] BABY
    Sports entertainment is a rare
    custom found only on Earth.
[06:40] BABY
    Not only that, but it has
    captivated the entire universe,
[06:42] BABY
    and there are many passionate fans.
[06:45] BABY
    Because countless aliens attempt to
    interfere with sports entertainment,
[06:48] BABY
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention
    Policy and Rabbit Force were established,
[06:53] BABY
    as you earthlings know.
[06:55] BABY
    Arresting aliens who violate
    the policy is your job.
[06:58] BABY
    Tsukuda Mina, it is your destiny
    to live as Tsukishiro Mina.
[07:07] MINA
    Why?
[07:08] BABY
    What?
[07:09] BABY
    Uh, it's a long story...
[07:13] MINA
    I'm not going to become Mina.
[07:15] BABY
    What? Why not?
[07:16] MINA
    I've already got my hands full attending
    school and working as an announcer.
[07:20] BABY
    Then you should quit being an announcer.
[07:23] MINA
    What?
[07:24] BABY
    What?
[07:30] MINA
    You're interrupting my work.
[07:32] GUARD
    S-Sorry.
[07:35] MINA
    No, I'm sorry.
SIGN    After the death of Rikidoyama, the grandfather
    of Japanese professional wrestling, two huge stars
    known as Dinosaur Babb and Hercules Inochi
     carried on his legacy.
    Dinosaur Babb founded the All Japan Pro Wrestling
[08:17] MINA
    I had no idea the office
    had such a beautiful bath.
[08:21] MINA
    Not only that, but the
    smell of roses is lovely.
[08:27] MINA
    I need to do my best to be both a
    high school student and an announcer.
[08:31] MINA
    After all, I'm going to be like Suiren-san.
SIGN    50 Years of
    Japanese Pro
     Wrestling
[08:51] JUNICHIRO
    Yes, yes, yes.
[08:55] JUNICHIRO
    My Tsukuda Mina fan site
    got hugged to death.
SIGN    High School Announcer
    Tsukuda Mina
    is Adorable!
[09:00] JUNICHIRO
    See? You should check it out.
[09:02] JUNICHIRO
    Everyone's going crazy for her.
[09:05] KANJI
    I'm not interested in that kind of thing.
SIGN    High School Announcer
    Tsukuda Mina
    is Adorable!
[09:07] JUNICHIRO
    What are you talking about, Kanji?
[09:09] JUNICHIRO
    Are you behind the times?
[09:12] JUNICHIRO
    My Tsukuda Mina.
[09:14] KANJI
    She doesn't belong to you.
[09:25] BABY
    Lottanites have been detected.
[09:29] BABY
    They hadn't left Earth yet.
[09:35] STAFF
    You think Tsukuda-chan's gonna be okay?
[09:37] KATO
    If she's not, it suits me
    just fine to send her home.
[09:39] STAFF
    What?
[09:40] KATO
    I'll pin the blame on her and make her quit.
[09:44] STAFF
    Kato D, merciless as ever.
[09:50] KATO
    How long is Ono P going
    to keep using Tsukuda?
[09:55] KATO
    Huh?
SIGN    50 Years of
    Japanese Pro
     Wrestling
[10:01] MINA
    Sorry to bother you. I tried writing
    a script for the new segment, but...
[10:05] SUIREN
    It's no good.
[10:06] MINA
    What?
[10:07] SUIREN
    It's not written in your own words.
[10:10] SUIREN
    This is the first script you've
    written yourself, right?
[10:14] SUIREN
    You can't sound like you're
    reading off a script.
[10:16] SUIREN
    You have to hammer it into your head
    and speak with your own words.
[10:20] MINA
    Okay. I'll do my best.
[10:33] MINA
    I'm too tired to memorize anything.
[10:39] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani-san.
[10:42] ESCARTIN
    Here. Isn't this your script
    for tonight's broadcast?
[10:45] ESCARTIN
    Wouldn't you panic during
    the show if you forgot it?
[10:47] MINA
    Yes, thank you.
[10:53] ESCARTIN
    That's a script, but it's the
    script for my cooking show.
[10:58] ESCARTIN
    Your 50 years of pro wrestling
    script is right here.
[11:04] MINA
    Good morning.
[11:06] ALL
    Good morning.
[11:09] SUIREN
    Don't run before a show.
[11:11] MINA
    I know.
[11:12] SUIREN
    Good attitude.
[11:13] DAISUKE
    I'm looking forward to your new corner.
[11:15] MINA
    Thank you.
[11:16] ALL
    Good morning.
[11:20] MINA
    Good morning...
[11:24] MINA
    Did I do something to upset him again?
[11:27] MINA
    Director Kato is acting weird.
[11:29] DAISUKE
    Of course not. It must be your imagination.
[11:35] STAFF
    Has he gotten bigger?
[11:38] STAFF
    We're going live in ten seconds.
[11:41] STAFF
    Eight, seven, six, five,
[11:46] STAFF
    four, three...
[11:56] SUIREN
    Good evening. It's time
    for SpoLuna on Saturday.
[11:59] DAISUKE
    The first episode of our new segment starting
    tonight is on 50 years of Japanese pro wrestling.
[12:05] MINA
    Tonight, Tsukuda Mina's new segment will
    cover the king of sports entertainment
[12:09] MINA
    that began with the rise of TV and
    built a golden era during the Showa Period,
[12:13] MINA
    professional wrestling.
[12:15] MINA
    For pro wrestling, first take one
    teaspoon each of sugar and salt...
[12:19] MINA
    What?
SIGN    Delicious Pork and Potatoes Recipe
     So good!
     Ingredients
     Meat On Sale
     Carrots
     Cabbage
     Bell Peppers
     Shimeji Mushrooms To Taste
     Generous Amount of Soy Sauce
     Sugar
     Salt To Taste
     Lots of Peppers
     Recipe
     Let's get cooking!
     1. Boil meat.
[12:25] MINA
    What's going on?
[12:28] MINA
    My script got swapped out for
    a cooking show's script.
[12:46] ESCARTIN
    You're finished, Tsukudani-san.
[12:51] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[12:53] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[12:56] (Flashback) SUIREN
    This is the first script you've
    written yourself, right?
[12:59] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You can't sound like you're
    reading off a script.
[13:01] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You have to hammer it into your head
    and speak with your own words.
[13:13] MINA
    After the death of Rikidoyama, the
    grandfather of Japanese professional wrestling,
[13:17] MINA
    two huge stars known as Dinosaur Babb and
    Hercules Inochi carried on his legacy.
[13:23] ESCARTIN
    What? Tsukudani memorized her script!
[13:26] MINA
    Dinosaur Babb founded the All
    Japan Pro Wrestling Association,
[13:29] MINA
    while Hercules Inochi founded the New
    Japanese Pro Wrestling Association.
[13:33] MINA
    The two became rivals who
    competed against one another.
[13:35] MINA
    In order to strike back
    against Dinosaur Babb,
[13:36] STAFF
    Not bad, Tsukuda-chan.
[13:37] MINA
    who was well-connected with
    American pro wrestling,
[13:40] MINA
    Hercules Inochi created a new sport
    known as multi-discipline combat sports,
[13:44] MINA
    which briefly became popular.
[13:46] MINA
    Later, Hercules Inochi would
    repeatedly challenge Dinosaur Babb
[13:49] MINA
    to a match to determine the champion of
    Japanese pro wrestling once and for all.
[13:53] MINA
    Though Babb once accepted the challenge
    in the all star ring, ultimately,
[13:57] MINA
    a match between the greats was never
    arranged and ended as the eternal dream
[14:03] MINA
    of pro wrestling fans.
[14:06] MINA
    Who was truly stronger, Babb or Inochi?
[14:13] STAFF
    That excited you, Kato-san?
[14:15] STAFF
    But you don't care about pro wrestling.
[14:17] STAFF
    Don't you think you're too big, Kato-san?
[14:20] KATO
    Dinosaur Babb's Duronmon Kick!
[14:33] MINA
    It's the Lottanite from
    last night's news story.
[14:35] STAFF
    What should we do, Onoue P?
[14:36] ONOUE
    Continue broadcasting.
[14:39] GUARD
    Kato-san! Hang in there, Kato-san!
[14:42] ESCARTIN
    No! Now I'll never get married!
[14:45] ALIEN
    Hercules Inochi's Octopus Hold!
[14:47] ESCARTIN
    Stop! Stay away!
[14:49] ALIEN
    We've taken over this show!
[14:52] ALIEN
    We demand a 60-minute death
    match between Dinosaur Babb
[14:58] ALIEN
    and Hercules Inochi to
    determine who is stronger!
[15:02] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san.
[15:03] SUIREN
    Don't. It's too dangerous.
[15:08] MINA
    Please leave.
[15:11] MINA
    This is my first segment.
[15:14] MINA
    It may be only three minutes, but I
    spent a whole day writing my report.
[15:19] MINA
    Please let me finish the job.
[15:22] MINA
    Please.
[15:33] ALIEN
    I demand a match!
[15:36] MINA
    That's impossible.
[15:37] MINA
    Hercules Inochi has retired,
    and Dinosaur Babb passed away.
[15:41] ALIEN
    What?
[15:41] MINA
    Their showdown ended as a dream.
[15:44] ALIEN
    You're lying! You're lying! You're lying!
[15:46] ALIEN
    I won't believe your lies!
[15:48] ALIEN
    I just watched them fight last night.
[15:51] MINA
    That was a satellite rebroadcast.
[15:57] ALIEN
    You're lying. You're lying.
[15:58] ALIEN
    Dinosaur and Hercules are eternal heroes.
[16:02] ALIEN
    Unless you promise to air their showdown,
[16:05] ALIEN
    we'll destroy Luna TV ten minutes from now.
[16:08] MINA
    Please don't.
[16:16] SUIREN
    Grab a handy cam and come with me.
[16:18] SUIREN
    We're going after him.
[16:19] CAMERAMAN
    Yes, ma'am.
[16:24] ALIEN
    Three, two, one.
[16:28] SUIREN
    The Lottanite continues to
    demand the showdown of dreams
[16:31] SUIREN
    and has holed up on the roof of Luna TV.
[16:33] ALIEN
    Bomber!
[16:35] ALIEN
    We demand a showdown between
    Dinosaur Babb and Hercules Inochi.
[16:41] ALIEN
    Otherwise, we'll attack Luna TV.
[16:54] SUIREN
    Aliens have begun attacking,
[16:56] SUIREN
    but we'll continue broadcasting
    until the end.
[16:59] DAISUKE
    Suiren, it's dangerous
    out there. Be careful.
[17:02] DAISUKE
    There are still no signs
    of the Rabbit Force.
[17:05] MINA
    Suiren-san...
[17:13] MINA
    There are carrots in this vegetable juice.
[17:16] MINA
    Could it be? But I...
[17:21] DAISUKE
    Suiren, are you all right?
[17:23] SUIREN
    Suiren here. Currently on the roof—
SIGN    29 Vegetables
     7820μg of β-Carotene
[17:37] MINA
    Jujitsu...
[17:42] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The carrot she consumed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[17:46] MALE ANNOUNCER
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[17:50] MALE ANNOUNCER
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[17:55] MALE ANNOUNCER
    as Tsukuda Mina completes her Jujitsu
    transformation into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[18:03] MALE ANNOUNCER
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[18:11] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The red-shift gravity catapult's
    super acceleration allows the weapon
[18:15] MALE ANNOUNCER
    to reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
SIGN    One
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Jujitsu Sequence In Progress
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
[20:00] MINA
    Lottanites, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[20:04] MINA
    Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force
    is placing you under arrest.
[20:18] MINA
    Carrot Launcher!
[20:23] ALIEN
    Take this! Drop Kick!
[20:29] ALIEN
    Axe Bomber!
[20:31] MINA
    STO!
[20:33] MINA
    Rabbit Lock!
[20:39] ALIEN
    I've never seen anything like this!
[20:42] MINA
    We're long past Dinosaur Babb's era!
[20:46] ALIEN
    I give up, I give up!
[20:48] MINA
    The Lottanites have been apprehended!
[21:03] KATO
    Where were you, Tsukuda?
[21:06] KATO
    What kind of jerk abandons
    the set during a broadcast?
[21:09] KATO
    Your three-minute segment is canceled!
[21:11] MINA
    What?
[21:12] KATO
    This industry is no place
    for students, you hear?
[21:16] STAFF
    Kato-san.
[21:17] KATO
    What?
[21:18] STAFF
    We're getting tons of calls requesting the
    continuation of the three-minute segment.
[21:22] KATO
    What?
[21:24] STAFF
    They were touched by the way Tsukuda-chan
    took on the alien unarmed to protect her segment.
[21:29] KATO
    Fine, then.
[21:31] KATO
    The three-minute segment will
    become a regular thing.
[21:36] ALL
    Cheers!
[21:37] KATO
    Come on, drink up and make some noise!
[21:41] KATO
    Come on, drink!
[21:42] MINA
    Thank you.
[21:43] KATO
    I'm not talking to you!
[23:08] SISTER
    Onii-chan, what's wrong with
    you? She came to cheer for you.
[23:12] KANJI
    She's changed. Work is more
    important to her than us now.
[23:17] SISTER
    That's not true. Don't you
    remember your promise?
[23:21] SISTER
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "The Promised Dirty Pitch."
[23:25] MINA
    I won't let them interfere
    with Kanji's match.
[23:27] MINA
    Rabbit Force member Tsukishiro
    Mina will arrest the Yellenites.
[23:31] KATO
    Hey, Tsukuda! Where are you
    going during a broadcast?
[23:35] MINA
    Sorry...

E3 - The Promised Dirty Pitch

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:58] KIRYU
    Good evening. I'm Kiryu Daisuke.
[02:00] SUIREN
    And I'm Koshu Suiren.
[02:02] KIRYU
    Twilight Sports Information Network's
    SpoLuna has another packed show for you.
[02:07] SUIREN
    Today, announcer Tsukuda
    is busy with school—
[02:15] TSUKUDA
    Uh, I'm sorry.
[02:18] TSUKUDA
    I'm late because I fell
    asleep on the Yurikamone.
[02:22] TSUKUDA
    I'm high school announcer Tsukuda Mina.
[02:24] SUINRE
    Either way, since Tsukuda has slid in,
    we have our regular lineup tonight.
SIGN    #03 The Promised Dirty Pitch
[02:35] NAKORU
    Onii-chan. Hey, onii-chan.
[02:41] NAKORU
    Oh, come on.
[02:43] NAKORU
    Wake up.
[02:47] KANJI
    What do you want, Nakoru?
[02:50] NAKORU
    You stink. Come on, get undressed.
[02:54] NAKORU
    We gotta put these in the wash.
[02:56] KANJI
    Shut up. I'm tired from practice.
[02:59] NAKORU
    Well, I'm tried from cheerleading. Come on.
[03:03] KANJI
    Quit it! I'll do it myself.
[03:05] SUIREN
    Next up is Tsukuda's three-minute segment.
[03:07] TSUKUDA
    Thank you. In this episode, I'll
    be covering the figure skating
[03:08] NAKORU
    It's Tsukuda-senpai.
[03:11] NAKORU
    I can't believe she really became
    an announcer. It's amazing.
[03:11] TSUKUDA
    tournament that took place
    in Alaska the other day.
[03:17] NAKORU
    What's the matter?
[03:20] NAKORU
    What's your problem?
[03:23] KANJI
    I thought you were gonna wash them.
[03:24] NAKORU
    What?
[03:26] AD SUZUKI
    Three...
[03:30] KIRYU
    High school baseball summer regional
    qualifiers are starting up.
[03:35] SUIREN
    Here at SpoLuna, high school announcer Tsukuda
    will be reporting on them as one of their peers.
[03:42] SUIREN
    Good luck.
[03:43] TSUKUDA
    Thank you.
[03:44] TSUKUDA
    I'll be doing my best, so good luck to all
    you high school baseball players out there.
[03:52] KIRYU
    You're working so hard you fall
    asleep from the exhaustion.
[03:55] TSUKUDA
    I'm sorry. I'll be careful from now on.
[04:00] SUIREN
    Kiryu-san, don't tease her.
[04:04] KIRYU
    Tsukuda Mina and her charming rabbit-like
    bedhead will be covering the qualifiers.
[04:09] KIRYU
    You won't want to miss it.
[04:11] TSUKUDA
    Thank you.
[04:15] KATO D
    She's always screwing
    up the schedule and set.
[04:19] AD SUZUKI
    Now, now. She does good numbers.
[04:22] AD SUZUKI
    Maybe being a student and
    announcer is tough after all.
[04:26] KATO D
    Well, she's failing at both.
[04:28] KATO D
    She just lacks self-awareness
    as a professional.
[04:30] ONOUE
    I don't see the problem.
[04:32] BOTH
    Onoue-san?
[04:34] ONOUE
    A hardworking and ordinary
    unprofessional high school girl
[04:37] ONOUE
    is receiving passionate
    support from our viewers,
[04:41] ONOUE
    just like those high school baseball
    players in the middle of summer.
[04:46] BOTH
    I see...
[04:50] CATCHER
    Nice pitch, Kanji.
[04:57] TSUKUDA
    I just finished my extra classes.
    I'll head over right away.
[05:02] MOCHIMURA
    Done with... extra classes...?
[05:03] TSUKUDA
    Mocchin, I'm sorry.
[05:06] MOCHIMURA
    She seems busy as usual.
[05:12] TSUKUDA
    If I don't hurry, I'll
    be late to the interview.
[05:16] NAKORU
    You can do it, Kanji!
[05:30] NAKORU
    Tsukuda-senpai.
[05:31] TSUKUDA
    Nako?
[05:32] NAOKUR
    Tsukuda-senpai, it's good to see you again.
[05:37] TSUKUDA
    I see. You started middle
    school this year, right?
[05:41] TSUKUDA
    I hardly recognize you.
[05:42] NAKORU
    I picked up cheerleading
    to cheer for my brother.
[05:47] NAKORU
    I'm about to go watch him practice.
[05:49] NAKORU
    Let's go together.
[05:51] TSUKUDA
    Yeah, let's.
[05:53] TSUKUDA
    Oh, sorry. I actually have an interview now.
[05:57] TSUKUDA
    Listen up, Nako. Give Kanji
    a stern talking to for me.
[06:00] TSUKUDA
    He needs to shape up.
[06:03] NAKORU
    What? Don't you know?
[06:06] NAKORU
    He's currently the school's star player.
[06:10] NAKORU
    She's not listening.
[06:13] NAKORU
    Seems like she's busy, too.
SIGN    High School Announcer
    Tsukuda Mina
    is Adorable!
[06:17] MOCHIMURA
    "The clumsy announcer shows up
    late because she fell asleep."
[06:20] MOCHIMURA
    "Tsukuda's 'good luck' was so cute."
[06:22] MOCHIMURA
    "Oh, yeah. Mina-tan's bedhead."
[06:25] MOCHIMURA
    These comments are all about Mina.
[06:29] YOSHIMI
    Amazing, right?
[06:30] YOSHIMI
    I got a bunch of hits the other
    day because she overslept.
[06:34] MOCHIMURA
    I'm not sure she'd appreciate
    these comments if she saw them.
[06:38] YOSHIMI
    Where is she, anyway?
[06:40] YOSHIMI
    I came so I could show them to her.
[06:43] MOCHIMURA
    I don't know.
[06:44] MOCHIMURA
    Lately, she's been dashing off
    somewhere after class every day.
[06:47] STUDENT 1
    What's going on?
[06:48] STUDENT 2
    It's a TV crew.
[06:57] MOCHIMURA
    Oh, it's Mina.
[06:58] YOSHIMI
    No way!
[07:00] TSUKUDA
    Huh? Why did we come back to school?
[07:04] AD SUZUKI
    What? Tsukishima Academy is your high school?
[07:08] TSUKUDA
    Are we covering our baseball team today?
[07:18] KANJI
    What's going on?
[07:23] KANJI
    Tsukuda?
[07:25] NAKORU
    Tsukuda-senpai?
[07:28] PLAYER 1
    Apparently, SpoLuna's here to cover us.
[07:31] KANJI
    What?
[07:32] MOCHIMURA
    Mina.
[07:36] MOCHIMURA
    Hey.
[07:37] TSUKUDA
    Oh, Mocchin and Yoshimi-kun.
[07:40] YOSHIMI
    You're in a SpoLuna jacket?
    That's super rare!
[07:44] TSUKUDA
    Sorry about earlier.
[07:46] MOCHIMURA
    It's fine, but why did
    you come back to school?
[07:51] TSUKUDA
    Well, you see...
[07:53] AD SUZUKI
    Come on! We don't have much time!
[07:56] YOSHIMI
    Tsukuda is amazing in person.
[07:58] MOCHIMURA
    She seems busy.
[08:02] AD SUZUKI
    Anyway, Tsukuda-chan, could
    you interview the star player?
[08:06] TSUKUDA
    Okay.
[08:08] TSUKUDA
    Kanji, when did you become the star player?
[08:12] AD SUZUKI
    Tsukuda-chan, you and the baseball
    team's star player are friends?
[08:17] TSUKUDA
    We're less childhood friends and
[08:20] Tsukuda
    more like fated rivals.
[08:24] TSUKUDA
    Right, Kanji?
[08:29] AD SUZUKI
    Fated rivals, huh?
[08:32] AD SUZUKI
    Either way, high school announcer
    interviews childhood
[08:35] AD SHUZUKI
    friend and star player going up against
    the tournament favorite powerhouse.
[08:40] AD SUZUKI
    Yeah, that's perfect.
[08:44] AD SUZUKI
    Here we go, Tsukuda-chan.
[08:51] TSUKUDA
    I'm currently with the Tsukishima
    Academy High School baseball team.
[08:55] TSUKUDA
    This is actually the high
    school I'm attending.
SIGN    Tsukuda
SIGN    Welcome Tsukuda Mina
[09:01] TSUKUDA
    Now let's interview star player Hazemi Kanji.
[09:05] TSUKUDA
    Hazemi, the regional qualifier is coming up.
[09:08] TSUKUDA
    How do you feel?
[09:10] TSUKUDA
    Huh? Hazemi...
[09:13] TSUKUDA
    I didn't get to interview him.
[09:27] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[09:29] NAKORU
    Why are you ignoring Tsukuda-senpai?
[09:31] NAKORU
    She came to support you.
[09:37] KANJI
    She's changed.
[09:39] NAKORU
    What?
[09:40] KANJI
    She's deep into TV now, and
    everyone's fussing over her.
[09:43] NAKORU
    But... she hasn't changed at all.
[09:47] KANJI
    She's changed.
[09:49] KANJI
    Work is more important to her than us now.
[10:02] TSUKUDA
    I wonder what happened to Kanji.
[10:04] TSUKUDA
    Did I say something to upset him?
[10:10] TSUKUDA
    I screwed up again.
[10:13] BABY
    I have urgent news.
[10:16] TSUKUDA
    Why do you have to show up here?
[10:19] BABY
    The Rabbit Force radar just detected
    a new UFO entering the atmosphere.
[10:25] BABY
    It's currently lurking above Tokyo Bay.
[10:30] TSUKUDA
    I have to turn into Mina and fight again?
[10:32] BABY
    Not right away.
[10:34] BABY
    But make sure you're ready
    to Jujitsu at any moment.
[10:41] TSUKUDA
    Could you at least tell me
    when I'll have to Jujitsu?
[10:45] TSUKUDA
    I've got a schedule to follow.
[10:47] BABY
    That's all from me. Good luck.
[10:52] TSUKUDA
    Oh, come on.
[11:00] MOM
    The regional qualifier starts today.
[11:02] DAD
    For Kanji-kun, right?
[11:04] DAD
    Come to think of it, he
    stopped coming over recently.
[11:08] MOM
    He's getting to be that age.
SIGN    Aoyama Stadium
[11:22] NAKORU
    Tsukuda-senpai.
[11:24] TSUKUDA
    Nako.
[11:29] TSUKUDA
    What is it?
[11:32] NAKORU
    Whose side are you on?
[11:34] TSUKUDA
    What?
[11:36] NAKORU
    My brother's team or work?
[11:42] TSUKUDA
    Sports journalists must always be impartial.
[11:45] TSUKUDA
    I have to support both.
[11:48] NAKORU
    I see.
[11:51] TSUKUDA
    But I remember my promise with Kanji.
[11:53] NAKORU
    What promise?
[11:59] NAKORU
    What is that?
[12:01] TSUKUDA
    Don't tell the others.
[12:03] TSUKUDA
    But Kanji's probably forgotten, too.
[12:06] AD SUZUKI
    Tsukuda-chan, get on standby!
[12:09] TSUKUDA
    Okay.
[12:10] TSUKUDA
    Sorry. I've gotta go.
[12:15] NAKORU
    They made a promise to each other?
[12:19] NAKORU
    Huh?
[12:26] MUTSUMUNE
    How naive, Tsukudani-san.
[12:29] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't allow you to use your enrollment
    at a competing school to earn points.
[12:34] MUTSUMUNE
    I should be the one to conduct
    the glorious victory interview.
[12:42] PLAYER 1
    How's your shoulder?
[12:43] KANJI
    Great, of course.
[12:47] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[12:48] STAFF
    Now, now. Only players and staff
    are allowed past this point.
[12:52] NAKORU
    What?
[12:54] NAKORU
    I wonder if he remembers his
    promise to Tsukuda-senpai.
[13:01] CHEER
    T-U-K-I!
[13:05] CHEER
    Tsukishima, go, fight, go!
[13:09] HAIBARA
    Play ball!
[13:24] HAIBARA
    Strike!
[13:26] TSUKUDA
    Nice one, Kanji.
[13:28] TSUKUDA
    I mean, uh...
[13:32] TSUKUDA
    Good luck to both Tsukishima and Shiodome.
[13:36] TSUKUDA
    My phone.
[13:39] TSUKUDA
    Excuse me.
[13:45] TSUKUDA
    That's odd. I thought I
    turned it off before work.
[13:53] BABY
    It's an emergency.
[14:00] BABY
    The alien that arrived the other
    day has snuck into the stadium.
[14:05] TSUKUDA
    What? More alien baseball fans?
[14:07] CHEER
    Fight, fight! Shiodome!
[14:21] MUTSUMUNE
    I shall use my elegant cheering
    to make this team win.
[14:28] MUTSUMUNE
    Go, go! Shiodome!
[14:31] MUTSUMUNE
    You can do it, Shiodome!
[14:35] MUTSUMUNE
    Go, go! Shio—
[14:37] ALIEN
    That's right.
[14:41] ALIEN
    I'll use my cheering to make this team win!
[14:53] NAKORU
    You can do it, Tsukishima!
[14:55] CHEER 1
    Look. Shiodome's cheer squad is incredible.
[14:59] NAKORU
    What?
[15:02] CHEER 2
    Such incredible jumps!
    They're all in sync, too.
[15:05] CHEER 3
    We can't do that.
[15:08] NAKORU
    But something's not right.
[15:18] TSUKUDA
    What is that?
[15:20] BABY
    That's a Yellenite.
[15:22] BABY
    They passionately cheer for everything.
[15:25] TSUKUDA
    Doesn't that make them good aliens?
[15:28] BABY
    Yes, but look.
[15:32] MUTSUMUNE
    What? Why me?
[15:34] MUTSUMUNE
    No!
[15:37] BABY
    They get out of hand when
    they take things too far.
[15:40] TSUKUDA
    What's Mutsumune-senpai doing over there?
[15:42] BABY
    In any case, you must Jujitsu
    and defeat them as Mina.
[15:45] TSUKUDA
    Do I have to?
[15:47] BABY
    Why do you look so upset about it?
[15:54] TSUKUDA
    Ma'am, can I have some vegetable juice?
[15:56] GRADMNA
    Sure thing.
[16:04] TUKUDA
    Jujitsu...
[16:06] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The carrot she consumed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[16:10] MALE ANNOUNCER
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[16:14] MALE ANNOUNCER
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[16:18] MALE ANNOUNCER
    as Tsukuda Mina completes her Jujitsu
    transformation into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[16:24] MALE ANNOUNCER
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[16:30] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The red-shift gravity catapult's
    super acceleration allows the weapon
[16:35] MALE ANNOUNCER
    to reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
[16:49] KANJI
    What's going on?
[16:51] TSUKISHIRO
    Stop what you're doing!
[16:56] FAN 1
    What is that?
[16:57] FAN 2
    She's got cat ears!
[16:58] FAN 3
    No, those are rabbit ears!
[17:00] ALL
    No, it's Tsukishiro Mina!
[17:06] NAKORU
    Tsukishiro Mina...
[17:09] TSUKISHIRO
    I won't let them interrupt Kanji's game.
[17:11] MINA
    Yellanite, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[17:16] MINA
    Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit
    Force is placing you under arrest.
[17:22] YELLENITE
    I won't let you stop me!
[17:50] TSUKISHIRO
    Mutsumune-senpai, I'm sorry.
[17:53] YELLENITE
    I'll control you, too!
[17:57] TSUKISHIRO
    Are you all right?
[18:02] TSUKISHIRO
    That's what they're using
    to control everyone.
[18:05] TSUKISHIRO
    All right.
[18:08] TSUKISHIRO
    There's no point in an insincere cheer!
[18:12] MALE ANNOUNCER
    By merging with the wielder's body, Mina
    weapons achieve their maximum power.
[18:18] MALE ANNOUNCER
    They are the ultimate weapon.
[18:21] TSUKISHIRO
    Carrot Hammer!
[18:29] YELLENITE
    Impossible!
[18:38] TSUKISHIRO
    The Yellenite has been arrested.
[18:46] NAKORU
    Nice work, Tsukishiro Mina!
[18:53] KATO D
    Where have you been, Tsukuda?
[18:56] KATO D
    Resume the broadcast.
[19:00] TSUKUDA
    Kanji...
[19:22] TSUKUDA
    It's the bottom of the ninth
    with two outs. The score is 1-0.
[19:25] TSUKUDA
    Tsukishima's star player Hazemi has pitched
    the whole game against favorites Shiodome,
[19:31] TSUKUDA
    but he's in hot water after
    walking two batters in a row.
[19:37] AD SUZUKI
    Tsukuda-chan?
[19:41] KATO D
    What's the matter? Keep going.
[19:46] AD SUZUKI
    Tsukuda-chan?
[19:47] KATO D
    Hey, where are you going?
[19:49] NAKORU
    Onii-chan?
[19:51] TSUKUDA
    Kanji!
[19:56] TSUKUDA
    Kanji!
[20:10] KANJI
    That's...
[20:11] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    The star player finishes the
    game with a dirty pitch.
[20:16] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    This is the signal.
[20:19] KANJI
    A dirty pitch...
[20:21] TSUKUDA
    Kanji, go with dirty pitch Dragon Spiral X!
[20:25] AD SUZUKI
    Dirty pitch?
[20:27] KATO
    What's she talking about?
[20:34] KANJI
    Tsukuda.
[20:47] BATTER
    What is that?
[20:49] KANJI
    Ultimate dirty pitch Dragon
    Spiral X Number 18!
[21:01] TSUKUDA
    Our promise...
[21:04] NAKORU
    So she was cheering for him after all.
[21:18] KATO D
    Damn it, Tsukuda!
[21:19] KATO D
    Dirty pitches aren't a thing!
[21:22] ESCARTIN
    Yeah. Dirty pitch, my ass.
[21:24] TSUKUDA
    I'm sorry.
[21:25] AD SUZUKI
    Now, now. The favorites struggled but
    ultimately came back with a game-winning homer.
[21:30] AD SUZUKI
    The viewers enjoyed that.
[21:32] ESCARTIN
    Again?
[21:35] KATO D
    In that case, it can't be helped.
[21:38] KATO D
    Good work, everyone.
[21:40] STAFF
    Good work!
[21:41] KATO D
    Drink up, everyone!
[23:10] ESCARTIN
    Tsukudani-san, today I'll
    show you that high school
[23:12] ESCARTIN
    announcers are nothing more than a sideshow.
[23:16] TSUKUDA
    Mutsumune-senpai, that was
    very informative. Thank you.
[23:19] ESCARTIN
    I'll just have to crush you at the Umetate
    Luna Festival beach volleyball tournament.
[23:24] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "Mutsumune's Big Break."
[23:28] TSUKUDA
    Ripplite, I, Tsukishima Mina, will
    arrest anyone who harms the guests.
[23:33] SUIREN
    You've got a terrible sunburn on your face.
[23:35] TSUKUDA
    Oh...

E4 - Mutsumune's Big Break

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #04 Mutsumune's Big Break
[01:55] NIGHT D
    They're not here? What happened
    to tonight's announcer?
[02:00] AD SUZUKI
    Apparently, they went out to eat.
[02:03] AD SUZUKI
    They're not answering their phone.
[02:03] NIGHT D
    Isn't there anyone we can use?
[02:09] MUTSUMUNE
    Is there a problem?
[02:13] AD SUZUKI
    Mutsumune-san.
[02:15] MUTSUMUNE
    I may not be up to the task,
    but I'm willing to help.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[02:22] TSUKUDA
    Oh, no!
[02:25] TSUKUDA
    When did I fall asleep?
[02:27] MUTSUMUNE
    Breaking news.
SIGN    Luna Festa Starts Tomorrow
SIGN    Mermaid Escapes
SIGN    Caused By Unhealthy Habits?!
    Horrors of Frozen Shoulder
SIGN    Super Popular! Ebimaki Art
SIGN    Actor Iguma's Shocking Marriage!!
[02:29] MUTSUMUNE
    The Gizmanite that was holed up
    in the city's sports memorial hall
[02:34] MUTSUMUNE
    was finally arrested by
    Otsuki Mina moments ago.
[02:38] TSUKUDA
    Huh? Is Mutsumune-senpai working overnight?
[02:42] BABY
    Tsukuda Mina, something has happened.
[02:44] BABY
    This morning at 4:39AM,
[02:46] BABY
    a mysterious UFO descended on
    Tokyo Bay before disappearing.
[02:50] BABY
    Unauthorized visits to Earth are a violation
[02:52] BABY
    of the Astral Civilization
    Non-intervention Policy.
[02:56] BABY
    The Rabbit Force is on alert level 2.
[03:00] BABY
    Await further instructions.
[03:04] BABY
    Tsukuda?
[03:06] TSUKUDA
    Isn't it Otsuki Mina-san's
    job to defend Earth?
[03:10] TSUKUDA
    Go ask her.
[03:14] BABY
    Tsukuda Mina, don't you realize you're
    a member of the Rabbit Force?
[03:19] BABY
    Japan is a rarity even on
    Earth with all its sports.
[03:24] BABY
    As you can see, Otsuki Mina
    can't defend it alone.
[03:28] TSUKUDA
    But today I've got extra lessons and
    an important event with Luna TV.
[03:33] TSUKUDA
    I can't be Mina on top of that.
[03:36] BABY
    You'll find a way.
[03:37] BABY
    Isn't positive thinking your selling point?
[03:41] TSUKUDA
    Can't I at least drink apple juice instead?
SIGN    Where: Tsukumi-cho Near Luna TV HQ
[03:46] STAFF
    Good work!
[03:48] MUTSUMUNE
    Take care, everyone.
[03:54] AD SUZUKI
    That's odd, though.
[03:56] NIGHT D
    What?
[03:57] AD SUZUKI
    Mutsumune-san's always at the station.
[04:00] AD SUZUKI
    I wonder when she goes home.
[04:05] MUTSUMUNE
    Perhaps I was a bit too helpful.
[04:08] MUTSUMUNE
    Well, as long as it earns me points.
[04:20] MUTSUMUNE
    Working first thing in the
    morning is exhausting.
SIGN    This summer, meet your favorite female
     announcers at the umetatechi!!
SIGN    "Luna TV is in your hands!"
     Two popular announcers shake hands!
[04:24] MUTSUMUNE
    But as long as I hang around the
    station, I'll get more and more work.
SIGN    Luna TV Intra-Station
    Female Announcer
SIGN    Beach Volleyball Tournament
[04:32] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukudani-san, you just watch.
[04:35] MUTSUMUNE
    High school announcers are
    nothing more than a sideshow.
SIGN    Intra-Station
    Women's
    Beach Volleyball Tournament
[05:20] MALE CASTER
    Let's try calling them at the event now.
[05:22] MALE CASTER
    Princess Ren on the special stage.
[05:26] SUIREN
    Summer has arrived at the
    Tokyo Bay again this year,
[05:29] SUIREN
    and the Umetate Luna Festa has begun.
SIGN    Luna Festa
SIGN    Handshake Event
SIGN    Mutsumune
    Escartin
SIGN    Shake her hand
     at Tsukumi-cho!
[05:35] FAN 1
    Mucchi, your hot bath commercial was great.
[05:39] FAN 2
    Your reading skills are top-notch.
    Keep up the good work.
[05:43] MUTSUMUNE
    Thank you for your support.
[05:47] MUTSUMUNE
    I do have people watching me!
[05:50] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm an announcer who's
    undergone proper training.
[05:54] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't lose to a sideshow who
    cheated her way into the company.
[05:56] TSUKUDA
    Excuse me.
SIGN    Everyone's Luna Announcers
[05:58] TSUKUDA
    Let me through, please.
[06:02] TSUKUDA
    I'm sorry.
[06:04] TSUKUDA
    I'm late because I failed a test.
[06:07] MUTSUMUNE
    No problem. Hurry up and get changed.
[06:10] TSUKUDA
    Huh?
[06:11] MUTSUMUNE
    It's a festival, after all.
[06:13] MUTSUMUNE
    You can't wear your plain old uniform.
[06:15] MUTSUMUNE
    You need to get dressed up in
    something a little different.
[06:18] TSUKUDA
    Mutsumune-senpai.
[06:21] TSUKUDA
    Okay, everyone. Please form a single-file line.
SIGN    Tsukuda Mina
    Impromptu Handshake Event
[06:30] MUTSUMUNE
    The temperature is already 32.6 degrees.
[06:33] MUTSUMUNE
    Enjoy the hellish experience of wearing a
    full-body costume in this heat, Tsukudani-san.
[06:39] ALL
    Tsukuda! Tsukuda! Tsukuda!
[06:39] FAN 2
    Tsukuda-chan, you can do it.
[06:42] FAN 1
    I never miss SpoLuna.
[06:44] FAN 2
    We all love how hardworking you are.
[06:49] TSUKUDA
    Tsukuda Mina will do her very best.
[06:57] MUTSUMUNE
    Oh, no. I accidentally awakened
    Tsukudani's professionalism again.
[07:02] MUTSUMUNE
    At this rate, Luna TV will be...
[07:09] MUTSUMUNE
    Not bad, Tsukudani.
[07:12] MUTSUMUNE
    It's a dog-eat-dog world.
[07:14] TSUKUDA
    Mutsumune-senpai, I learned
    a lot. Thank you.
[07:23] YOSHIMI
    Apparently, that's the trophy for the beach
    volleyball tournament Tsukuda's playing in.
[07:29] YOSHIMI
    They say some famous artist designed it.
[07:33] YOSHIMI
    It's super rare.
[07:34] KANJI
    Huh.
[07:35] YOSHIMI
    Tsukuda has a handshake event.
[07:37] YOSHIMI
    Aw, crap! I forgot to check!
[07:40] MOCHIMURA
    You see her at school all the time.
[07:43] YOSHIMI
    This is different.
SIGN    Female Announcer
SIGN    Handshake
    Event
[07:47] KANJI
    She'll probably just wear her
    plain old school swimsuit, too.
[07:55] TSUKUDA
    Does this look strange?
[07:57] TSUKUDA
    I've never worn anything so bold before.
[08:04] SUIREN
    You've got a terrible sunburn on your face.
[08:09] SUIREN
    Put that on.
[08:10] TSUKUDA
    Thank you.
[08:12] SUIREN
    You'll run out of energy if
    you don't eat something.
[08:14] TSUKUDA
    Okay.
[08:19] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-san's definitely fed up with me.
[08:22] TSUKUDA
    I can't believe how badly I burned.
[08:24] TSUKUDA
    Maybe I lack self-awareness as an announcer.
[08:28] TSUKUDA
    Okay.
[08:29] TSUKUDA
    I'll do my best at beach volleyball.
[08:30] TSUKUDA
    This is part of my job, too.
[08:32] TSUKUDA
    I need to be perfect.
[08:37] TOURNAMENT MC
    The intra-station female announcer
    beach volleyball tournament has begun.
SIGN    NemuLuna TV
    Shopping Team
[08:42] TOURNAMENT MC
    Which team will win?
[08:45] MUTSUMUNE
    What is my partner doing?
[08:48] SUIREN
    Are you ready, Tsukuda-san?
[08:51] TSUKUDA
    Yes. Good to go.
[08:55] KIRYU
    You think they'll do well?
[09:01] BABY
    That's odd.
[09:03] BABY
    There's no movement.
[09:05] BABY
    What is the alien who snuck in plotting?
[09:11] BABY
    A message? How unusual.
[09:13] BABY
    It's from the European Rabbit Force.
[09:15] BABY
    Hi, this is Nanashi speaking.
[09:19] BABY
    What?
[09:26] MUTSUMUNE
    You're late, Pyokotan.
[09:30] MUTSUMUNE
    Don't just stand there.
    Get in line behind me.
[09:34] TOURNAMENT MC
    The players are entering the arena.
SIGN    Intra-Station Women's Beach Volleyball Tournament
[09:37] TOURNAMENT MC
    Let's give them a round of applause.
[09:58] SAKURA
    Here it comes.
[10:15] MOCHIMURA
    What's wrong with Mina?
[10:16] MOCHIMURA
    She's weirdly stiff.
[10:19] KANJI
    What is she doing?
SIGN    Intra-Station Women's Beach Volleyball Tournament
[10:21] TOURNAMENT MC
    That's game.
[10:22] TOURNAMENT MC
    The first match of block A goes to SpoLuna.
[10:30] TSUKUDA
    I'm sorry, Suiren-san.
[10:32] TSUKUDA
    I'll be perfect next time.
[10:43] WOMAN 1
    There are tacks on the court!
[10:53] WOMAN 2
    My G cups!
[10:59] MUTSUMUNE
    You're incredible, Pyokotan!
[11:02] MUTSUMUNE
    Winning the whole thing isn't just a dream!
[11:08] TSUKUDA
    Mutsumune-senpai is amazing.
[11:10] TSUKUDA
    I need to try harder.
[11:13] SUIREN
    We'll probably face them in the final.
[11:17] TSUKUDA
    Yes.
[11:18] TSUKUDA
    Announcer Tsukuda will do
    a perfect job next match.
SIGN    Final
    SpoLuna vs NemuLuna TV Shopping
[11:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukuda-san, let's do our best not
    to disgrace the name of Luna TV.
[11:40] TSUKUDA
    Looking forward to it.
[11:44] MUTSUMUNE
    How green to forget oneself
    at a major event.
[11:48] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukudani-san, I shall crush you in
    front of all these Luna TV fans.
[12:00] KANJI
    Tsukuda!
[12:01] TOURNAMENT MC
    Point to the NemuLuna TV Shopping team!
[12:08] SUIREN
    I know this is a job, but why
    don't you relax a little?
[12:12] TSUKUDA
    What?
[12:14] SUIREN
    Let's enjoy playing volleyball.
[12:17] SUIREN
    If we're not having fun,
    neither will the audience.
[12:26] MUTSUMUNE
    Get up, Tsukuda.
[12:29] MUTSUMUNE
    The match isn't over yet.
[12:36] TSUKUDA
    Mutsumune-senpai is absolutely glowing.
[12:40] TSUKUDA
    I got in my own head again
    just because it was a job.
[12:50] SUIREN
    Toss.
[12:50] TSUKUDA
    Got it.
[12:55] TOURNAMENT MC
    Point to SpoLuna!
[12:59] TSUKUDA
    Yes!
[13:01] TSUKUDA
    Senpai, thank you!
[13:04] MUTSUMUNE
    What?
[13:05] TSUKUDA
    That was very informative.
[13:08] TSUKUDA
    But we won't lose.
[13:14] MUTSUMUNE
    Crap. I accidentally helped her grow again.
[13:20] MUTSUMUNE
    But this is why she's my rival.
[13:23] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukudani, come at me with
    everything you've got!
[13:30] KIRYU
    Those two are putting on a great show.
[13:33] MOCHIMURA
    Go, Mina! You can do it!
[13:58] MUTSUMUNE
    I lost.
[14:01] MUTSUMUNE
    Did I stand no chance against the
    stamina of a high school girl?
[14:06] TSUKUDA
    Nice game.
[14:07] TSUKUDA
    That was a great match, Mutsumune-senpai.
[14:29] FANS
    Nice! Good job!
[14:30] FANS
    That was amazing!
[14:32] FANS
    We love both of you!
[14:38] TSUKUDA
    Thank you, everyone.
[14:42] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukuda-san, you're not too bad yourself.
[14:46] MUTSUMUNE
    But you still have a lot to learn.
[14:50] TSUKUDA
    Right.
[14:55] ALIEN
    Hand over the trophy!
[15:05] PYOKOTAN
    Someone help!
[15:08] YOSHIMI
    Kanji...
[15:09] KANJI
    Pull yourself together.
[15:11] MOCHIMURA
    Huh? Where's Mina?
[15:15] TSUKUDA
    I'm the only one who can protect everyone.
[15:18] BABY
    I've identified the mysterious UFO.
[15:21] BABY
    According to the European Rabbit Force,
    there was a Ripplite on board.
[15:26] BABY
    They're sports trophy smugglers.
[15:29] BABY
    They illegally acquire sports trophies and
    sell them to sports fans across the universe.
[15:36] BABY
    Tsukishiro Mina, now is the time to act.
SIGN    Vegetable Juice
SIGN    7820μg of β-Carotene
[15:42] TSUKUDA
    Fine, then. Just this once.
[15:49] TSUKUDA
    Jujitsu...
[15:54] MALE ANNOUNCER
    The carrot she consumed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[15:59] MALE ANNOUNCER
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[16:03] MALE ANNOUNCER
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[16:07] MALE ANNOUNCER
    as Tsukuda Mina completes
    her Jujitsu transformation
[16:11] MALE ANNOUNCER
    into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[16:26] TSUKISHIRO
    Freeze! I, Tsukishiro Mina, will
    arrest anyone who harms—
[16:38] TSUKISHIRO
    Some guests haven't escaped yet.
[16:46] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san!
[16:53] OTSUKI
    Now get out of here.
[16:56] FANS
    We will. Thank you.
[17:07] OTSUKI
    You're an earnest one, aren't you?
[17:17] OTSUKI
    I'll show you how to really fight.
[17:20] TSUKISHIRO
    What?
[17:20] OTSUKI
    Here we go!
[17:52] TSUKISHIRO
    You did it, Otsuki-san.
[17:54] OTSUKI
    No, it's not over yet.
[18:12] OTSUKI
    If you have to work, might
    as well make it fun, right?
[18:15] TSUKISHIRO
    What?
[18:17] TSUKISHIRO
    That's the same thing Suiren-san said.
[18:20] OTSUKI
    Take this!
[18:22] OTSUKI
    Receive!
[18:26] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh?
[18:30] MALE ANNOUNCER
    By merging with the wielder's body, Mina
    weapons achieve their maximum power.
[18:36] MALE ANNOUNCER
    They are the ultimate weapon.
[18:47] TSUKISHIRO
    Toss!
[18:53] OTSUKI
    This ends now!
[19:01] OTSUKI
    Black Turnip Punch!
[19:07] TSUKISHIRO
    So cool.
[19:10] TSUKISHIRO
    But...
[19:12] OTSUKI
    Yes, yes, yes!
[19:17] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san is smiling?
[19:20] OTSUKI
    Go on!
[19:35] OTSUKI
    Aw, man. I always take things too far.
[19:39] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san.
[19:41] TSUKISHIRO
    What's her deal?
[19:44] TSUKISHIRO
    She's also my senior, but she's
    nothing like Suiren-san.
[19:50] OTSUKI
    Huh?
[19:52] OTSUKI
    Aw, crap.
[19:55] BABY
    Hey, Otsuki! You're lucky no one got hurt,
[19:59] BABY
    but I'm going to get in trouble with
    Space Planetary Insurance again.
[20:02] TSUKISHIRO
    Um, who exactly is Otsuki-san?
[20:05] BABY
    Don't you learn from her, Tsukishiro.
[20:08] BABY
    Catch up to her and surpass her.
[20:16] OTSUKI
    Aw, darn. They escaped.
[20:24] OTSUKI
    Well, that was a decent pass.
[20:27] OTSUKI
    But I still can't let you take
    over the number one spot.
[20:35] BOTH
    Good work!
[20:43] NIGHT D
    I can't believe an alien
    took your teammate's place.
[20:48] AD SUZUKI
    That must've been tough, Mutsumune-san.
[20:52] MUTSUMUNE
    This must be because I accidentally
    helped Tsukudani again.
[20:57] TV
    The Intra-Station Women's
    Beach Volleyball Tournament
[21:00] TV
    was held earlier today at
    the Umetate Luna Festa,
[21:02] MUTSUMUNE
    I want to be surrounded by more fans, too!
[21:03] TV
    which was won by SpoLuna.
[21:11] ALIEN
    Friends, it's too dangerous to
    continue smuggling trophies.
[21:16] ALIEN
    But today, I discovered a
    potential new hit product.
[21:21] ALIEN
    Mutsumune Escartin is the best!
[21:24] ALIEN
    From now on, we'll sell Mutsumune
    merch throughout the universe!
[21:31] MUTSUMUNE
    Someone's talking about me.
[21:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Perhaps they're handsome fans of mine.
[21:40] MUTSUMUNE
    A second sneeze. Love is in the air.
[21:44] MUTSUMUNE
    Oh, please.
[23:08] GIRL
    Nice to meet you, Tsukuda-san.
[23:10] GIRL
    I've been a fan of yours for a while now.
[23:12] TSUKUDA
    Uh, thanks.
[23:13] GIRL
    Anyway, it must be tough
    playing two roles at once.
[23:17] TSUKUDA
    You're kidding, right?
[23:19] TSUKUDA
    Does she know I'm Tsukishiro Mina?
[23:22] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "Red Card for Mina."
[23:26] TSUKUDA
    Jersian, I, Tsukishima Mina,
    am placing you under arrest.
[23:29] GIRL
    If you insist on keeping it a
    secret, I won't say anything.
[23:33] GIRL
    But starting today, you're my servant.
[23:35] TSUKUDA
    Oh...

E5 - Red Card for Mina?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[02:01] TSUKISHIRO
    Jersian, you're under arrest for violating
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention Policy!
[02:11] NIKAIDO
    Thank you! You are victory goddess!
[02:16] NIKAIDO
    See you again!
[02:19] TSUKISHIRO
    Despite my complaining, have I
    gotten used to working as Mina?
SIGN    #05 Red Card for Mina?
[02:41] SUIREN
    Today our special guest is
[02:44] SUIREN
    Luna TV's fall campaign character,
    the popular grade school actress
[02:48] SUIREN
    Takanashi Yuu-chan.
[02:53] YUU
    Thank you for having me.
SIGN    Today's Guest
SIGN    Takanashi Yuu
[02:59] KIRYU
    Yuu-chan, I hear you're currently filming
    a special drama you're starring in.
[03:03] YUU
    Yes.
[03:04] YUU
    I play a grade school student who's
    an announcer despite her age.
[03:08] YUU
    It's based on a manga that's really
    popular among girls my age.
SIGN    Child Star
SIGN    The story of a grade school announcer! Starring Takanashi Yuu!
[03:12] MINA
    Huh.
[03:13] KIRYU
    Since you're here, why don't we
    have you read the next story?
[03:17] YUU
    Okay.
[03:18] MINA
    What?
[03:19] YUU
    Our next story is about
    major league baseball.
[03:22] YUU
    Isoda, who had been playing
    for the Miami Sharks,
[03:26] YUU
    suddenly returned to Japan
    due to extreme homesickness.
[03:29] MINA
    She's so good.
[03:30] KATO D
    Boy, she's good.
[03:33] KATO D
    She might even be better than Tsukuda.
[03:35] YUU
    Isoda, even if you're lonely, please do your
    best with this assignment away from home.
[03:40] KIRYU
    Bravo. With nine years of acting experience,
[03:43] KRIYU
    it's no wonder you have no trouble
    playing an announcer, too.
[03:46] YUU
    I was nervous, though.
[03:49] YUU
    Tsukuda-san, did I do a good job?
[03:52] MINA
    What?
[03:53] YUU
    I've been a fan of yours for some time.
[03:55] YUU
    I was really looking forward
    to meeting you today.
[04:00] MINA
    Thank you.
[04:02] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san, read the next story.
[04:05] MINA
    Okay.
[04:06] MINA
    Our next story is on Japanese
    professional baseball.
[04:09] MINA
    Superstar team Shunichi will show up to their
[04:11] MINA
    third sequential game
    this Sunday at Shunichi Stadium...
[04:13] MINA
    Huh? This Sunday at Shinichi Stadium...
[04:17] YUU
    Tsukuda-san, you can do it.
[04:19] MINA
    I'm sorry. Let me try that again.
[04:21] MINA
    Superstar team Shunichi...
[04:29] MINA
    I'm such a dummy. I stuttered so badly.
[04:34] YUU
    Money.
[04:36] MINA
    Yes, ma'am.
[04:39] YUU
    Only 500 yen? You must be broke.
[04:41] YUU
    Well, whatever. It's enough for a soft drink.
[04:44] YUU
    Ugh, I'm not even a little
    interested in sports,
[04:45] MINA
    Um...
[04:48] YUU
    but they still made me do that job yesterday.
[04:58] (Flashback) MINA
    Here it comes.
[05:04] (Flashback) NIKAIDO
    Don't worry. I am strong.
[05:08] MINA
    You were at Aoyama Stadium last night, too?
[05:11] YUU
    Yeah. Here.
[05:13] YUU
    A token of friendship.
[05:15] MINA
    Thank you.
[05:16] YUU
    Anyway, it must be tough
    for you playing two roles.
SIGN    Carrot 100
    Made With 100% Organic Carrots
     Contains double the daily recommended intake of carotene!
[05:26] MINA
    What do you mean by two roles?
[05:29] YUU
    See you later.
[05:30] YUU
    Hop, hop. Hop, hop.
[05:39] MINA
    You're kidding, right?
[05:41] MINA
    Does she know I'm Tsukishiro Mina?
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[05:50] DAD
    Where's Mina?
[05:51] MOM
    She's going to be a bit late.
[05:54] DAD
    She stuttered a lot today.
[05:58] MOM
    It's been her dream since grade school.
[06:00] MOM
    She'll be fine.
[06:07] MINA
    I can't keep working as an announcer, can I?
[06:12] BABY
    What?
[06:13] MINA
    If people find out I'm Tsukishiro Mina.
[06:16] BABY
    What?
SIGN    STOMP
[06:20] BABY
    Could it be?
[06:21] MINA
    I'm just speaking hypothetically!
[06:23] BABY
    Of course you can't.
[06:25] BABY
    It'd be difficult to live a normal
    life, much less work as an announcer.
[06:31] BABY
    I know. You can have this.
[06:33] MINA
    What?
[06:36] BABY
    It's a Rabbit Laser.
[06:37] BABY
    Its laser beam erases all
    of a person's memories.
[06:41] MINA
    What?
[06:42] BABY
    If anyone realizes who you are, you
    can shoot them with that. Then...
[06:48] YUU
    Tsukishiro Mina? Who's that?
[06:54] MINA
    I can't do that.
[06:56] MINA
    Has the Rabbit Force always been
    such a frightening organization?
[06:59] NAKORU
    Senpai.
[07:01] KANJI
    Were you just talking to someone?
[07:03] MINA
    It's just your imagination.
[07:07] MINA
    Anyway, were you at practice?
[07:09] KANJI
    Yeah, I guess.
[07:10] NAKORU
    My brother has been working really hard.
[07:13] NAKORU
    He's determined to make it
    to the Koshien next year.
[07:15] KANJI
    Don't tell her that.
[07:17] NAKORU
    What's you problem?
[07:19] MINA
    I see. You're working
    towards your dream, too.
[07:24] MINA
    What should I do?
[07:26] MINA
    I don't want to give up on my dream,
[07:30] MINA
    but what should I do?
[07:36] AD
    Okay, let's begin rehearsal.
[07:40] MINA
    Calm down, Mina. You need
    to confirm the facts first.
[07:44] MINA
    Has Yuu-chan really noticed
    I'm Tsukishiro Mina?
[07:47] MINA
    Huh?
[07:51] YUU
    Tsukudacchi, you're interested in my TV show?
[07:53] YUU
    You should've said so.
[07:57] AD
    We're ready to roll cameras.
[07:59] MINA
    Okay.
[08:00] AD
    Here we go. Three, two, one.
[08:04] MINA
    That's the grade school announcer
    everyone's talking about.
[08:13] MUTSUMUNE
    Serves you right, Tsukudani.
[08:15] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't allow you to make your
    TV show debut by yourself.
[08:21] MUTSUMUNE
    What?
[08:26] MINA
    I screwed up again.
[08:31] KIRYU
    Tsukuda-kun.
[08:33] KIRYU
    What are you doing? Are you
    going to be in a TV show?
[08:36] MINA
    Kiryu-san.
[08:37] MINA
    I guess. Are you on your
    way to cover a story?
[08:41] KIRYU
    I have to get lunch with a sponsor.
[08:44] KIRYU
    French food isn't really my thing, though.
[08:47] MINA
    That reminds me, I haven't eaten yet.
[08:52] KIRYU
    Should we get lunch together sometime?
[08:54] MINA
    What? Really?
[08:56] KIRYU
    Aw, crap. I'm going to be late.
[08:58] KIRYU
    See you later.
[09:05] YUU
    So you're in love with that wannabe hot guy.
[09:09] YUU
    Let's see. Kiryu's number is...
[09:11] MINA
    Don't!
[09:12] YUU
    You don't want me to tell him?
[09:14] MINA
    What?
[09:16] YUU
    You love him, don't you?
[09:18] YUU
    Then you should quit waffling
    and tell him the truth.
[09:22] TSUKUDA
    So she does know I'm Tsukishiro Mina.
[09:29] YUU
    If you're determined to keep it a
    secret, then I won't say anything.
[09:34] YUU
    I've made up my mind.
[09:35] YUU
    As of today, you're my servant.
[09:38] YUU
    Talk back to me, and I'll kill you.
[09:44] CLERK
    Hup, hup, hup.
[09:45] MINA
    Could you make out the receipt to
    Takanashi Entertainment Productions?
[09:48] YUU
    You idiot!
[09:50] YUU
    How many times do I have to tell you?
[09:52] YUU
    Mixed fruit? I only drink 100% orange juice.
[09:55] YUU
    Nothing else will do.
[09:56] MINA
    But it's good.
[09:58] MINA
    It's got apples, cherries,
    and all kinds of stuff.
[10:01] YUU
    I said no!
[10:03] MINA
    Why is this happening to me?
[10:05] MINA
    What should I do?
[10:09] YUU
    Tsukudacchi, rub my shoulders.
[10:11] MINA
    Yes, ma'am.
[10:12] YUU
    Rub my feet next.
[10:13] MINA
    Yes, ma'am.
[10:14] YUU
    Oh, no. The priceless vase
    my art dealer gave me.
[10:19] MINA
    But you told me to carry it.
[10:21] YUU
    Maybe I'll reveal your secret.
[10:22] MINA
    Can I pay it off over time?
[10:26] YUU
    Tsukudacchi, I'm bored. Dance for me.
[10:28] MINA
    What?
[10:31] YUU
    Actually, sing me a sad song instead.
[10:35] YUU
    Do an impression of Nikaido
    the baseball player.
[10:38] MINA
    Yay! You are Japanese top actor!
[10:41] YUU
    I'm an actress.
[10:43] YUU
    What do they teach you in school?
[10:52] DAD
    Come on, this way.
[10:59] YUU
    You can go for today.
[11:00] MINA
    What?
[11:01] YUU
    You've got your show, don't you?
[11:03] YUU
    Come back tomorrow.
[11:05] MINA
    Okay.
[11:08] BABY
    What?
[11:11] BABY
    The Jersian escaped in transit?
[11:14] BABY
    They're prone to making assumptions.
[11:17] BABY
    It's possible they'll return to Earth.
[11:29] AD SUZUKI
    Okay, good.
[11:31] AD SUZUKI
    Good work, everyone.
[11:33] KIRYU
    What's wrong? You seem tired.
[11:37] MINA
    I'm totally fine.
[11:39] SUIREN
    Liar. Yuu-chan's working you to the bone.
[11:42] KIRYU
    What?
[11:43] MINA
    Suiren-san, how do you know that?
[11:46] SUIREN
    People are talking about
    it around the station.
[11:48] SUIREN
    Most of the staff know already.
[11:50] KIRYU
    Why are you listening to a child?
[11:53] MINA
    You're wrong.
[11:55] MINA
    Oh, please. That's obviously not the case.
[12:03] BABY
    Tsukuda, be honest.
[12:06] MINA
    No!
[12:08] MINA
    Why do you always pop out of weird places?
[12:12] BABY
    That child knows your identity, doesn't she?
[12:16] BABY
    I still need you to keep working.
[12:19] BABY
    You have to protect yourself.
[12:21] BABY
    Hit her with the beam.
[12:23] MINA
    Hey, wait.
[12:26] MINA
    What should I do? I'm at my limit.
[12:29] MINA
    I need to set things straight tomorrow.
[12:35] MINA
    But how should I bring up the subject?
[12:40] MINA
    I didn't order this.
[12:43] SHIRAHIME
    You've been friendly with Yuu, haven't you?
[12:45] MINA
    What?
[12:46] SHIRAHIME
    Thank you.
[12:48] SHIRAHIME
    Her mother and I were
    once friends as children.
[12:50] SHIRAHIME
    She visits my shop sometimes.
[12:53] MINA
    I see.
[12:54] SHIRAHIME
    She can be selfish and a handful,
    but please be kind to her.
[12:58] SHIRAHIME
    I think she wants someone to talk to.
[13:00] MINA
    What?
[13:02] SHIRAHIME
    All year around, her parents
    travel overseas for business.
[13:08] SHIRAHIME
    So she stays with her aunt all by herself.
[13:09] YUU
    One, two, three, four, five, six.
[13:13] SHIRAHIME
    They don't seem to be getting along, though.
[13:18] SHIRAHIME
    When she came the other day, she
    said she didn't want to go home.
[13:22] MINA
    I see.
[13:25] ANNOUNCER
    Here's our next story.
[13:27] ANNOUNCER
    Tsukumi-cho's famous Ferris wheel has
    been ridden over 15 million times.
[13:35] MINA
    That's...
[13:40] MINA
    Is Yuu-chan lonely?
[13:44] MINA
    Is that why she's so demanding?
[13:48] MINA
    I'm done hesitating.
[13:52] YUU
    What do you mean?
[13:54] MINA
    You want to ride that, don't you?
[13:58] MINA
    You're so busy every day, so I
    thought you could use a break.
[14:06] MINA
    Right?
[14:08] YUU
    Don't just stand there. Hurry up.
[14:19] MINA
    What?
[14:21] EMPLOYEE
    I'm sorry, but the Ferris wheel is
    closed today due to strong winds.
[14:25] YUU
    Turn it on.
[14:27] MINA
    Listen, Yuu-chan...
[14:28] YUU
    I decided I'm going to ride this today.
[14:31] EMPLOYEE
    I'm sorry, but for your safety...
[14:33] YUU
    Quit yapping and turn it on.
[14:35] YUU
    Can't you listen to a star?
[14:37] EMPLOYEE
    It's against regulations, so...
[14:41] YUU
    I wanna ride!
[14:42] MINA
    I'm sorry. I thought it would make you happy.
[14:43] YUU
    Turn it on! Turn it on so I can ride!
[14:46] MINA
    I just wanted to have a
    serious talk with you.
[14:49] MINA
    I'm really sorry this happened.
[14:55] YUU
    Don't try to use clever tricks.
    It's not your style.
[14:58] MINA
    What?
[14:59] YUU
    You're just a dumb high school girl.
[15:07] YUU
    So, what did you want to talk about?
[15:13] MINA
    What should I do?
[15:14] MINA
    If Yuu-chan really does know
    I'm Tsukishiro Mina, then...
[15:26] MINA
    Oh, right. That Ferris wheel
    is special to Yuu-chan.
[15:32] MINA
    There's no way I can shoot her.
[15:35] MINA
    I'll have to honestly explain the situation
    and ask her not to tell anyone.
[15:39] YUU
    It must be hard for you, Tsukudacchi.
[15:41] MINA
    Huh?
[15:44] YUU
    Attending high school and working
    as an announcer must be hard.
[15:48] MINA
    What?
[15:50] YUU
    I'm super popular, you know?
    I have a lot of stress.
[15:56] YUU
    It makes me want to be mean.
[15:59] YUU
    I'm not apologizing, though.
[16:01] YUU
    But if you really want to be my
    friend, then I might consider it.
[16:12] MINA
    Of course. I hope we can keep hanging out!
[16:15] MINA
    I see. That's what she meant by two roles.
[16:19] MINA
    I'm such a dummy. I got the wrong idea.
[16:31] MINA
    I don't need this thing.
[16:33] MINA
    Even if someone finds out who I am,
    I'll solve the problem on my own.
[16:39] BABY
    Okay, okay. Now put the gun down.
[16:46] ANNOUNCER
    Can you hear the sound of
    this packed stadium, viewers?
[16:51] ANNOUNCER
    An unprecedented event in soccer history
    is playing out right before our eyes.
[16:56] KIRYU
    I know. I've never seen anything like this.
[16:59] MINA
    Has soccer always been played like this?
[17:04] REF
    You're off the field!
[17:05] PLAYER
    What?
[17:06] REF
    Nobody likes rough play!
[17:08] FAN 1
    Come on, ref! Enough!
[17:13] AD SUZUKI
    Is he an alien?
[17:15] KATO D
    This is a great shot. Roll cameras.
[17:17] MINA
    Hey, stop that!
[17:19] REF
    You're off the field for yelling at the ref!
[17:27] YUU
    She's such a klutz.
[17:29] YUU
    Fine. I guess I'll help.
[17:34] MINA
    What should I do?
[17:35] MINA
    I need to become Mina, but...
[17:48] YUU
    Jujitsu.
[17:52] NARRATION
    Popular child actress Takanashi
    Yuu is actually another Mina.
[17:59] NARRATION
    Her name is Tamamushi Mina.
[18:02] NARRATION
    She is the renowned and precious
    prodigy of the Rabbit Force.
[18:19] NARRATION
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[18:26] NARRATION
    The red-shift gravity catapult's super
    acceleration allows the weapon to
[18:31] NARRATION
    reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
[19:04] TAMAMUSHI
    You must be the Jersians.
[19:07] TAMAMUSHI
    I understand being upset about rough
    play, but you've gone too far.
[19:10] REF
    No unauthorized entry to the field!
[19:18] TAMAMUSHI
    You hit me.
[19:21] TAMAMUSHI
    Not even my parents have ever hit me!
[19:31] TAMAMUSHI
    Cherry Teardrop!
[19:42] MINA
    Found some. Great.
[19:49] MINA
    Jujitsu...
[19:54] TSUKISHIRO
    Jersians, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[19:59] TSUKISHIRO
    Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force
    is placing you under arrest again.
[20:06] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? What?
[20:08] TSUKISHIRO
    What's going on?
[20:16] YUU
    Superstar team Shunichi will show up to
[20:20] YUU
    their third sequential game
    this Sunday at Shunichi Stadium...
[20:28] YUU
    Impersonating you wasn't easy, Tsukudacchi.
[20:31] YUU
    I'll hang out with you anytime.
[20:36] BABY
    You're such a mean girl.
    You even made that toy.
[20:42] GUN
    Shots fired! You're not cut out to be a Mina!
[20:47] BABY
    You pretended you knew Tsukuda was
    Tsukushiro Mina and approached her.
[20:50] BABY
    If she had tried to shoot you, then
    she wouldn't be cut out to be a Mina.
[20:55] YUU
    It's not okay to sacrifice
    others, even for a noble cause.
[21:00] BABY
    Because of you, now I look like the bad guy.
[21:02] BABY
    I need clear this up later.
[21:05] YUU
    I'm a true member of the Rabbit Force.
[21:08] YUU
    It's my duty to make sure
    Tsukudacchi's fit to be one of us.
[21:16] YUU
    Someday, she'll realize the
    significance of our genes.
SIGN    New Star Tamamushi Mina!
SIGN    Solves Soccer
     Stadium Incident!
[21:28] MINA
    Who is Tamamushi Mina?
[21:30] MINA
    I'd like to meet her someday.
[21:34] MINA
    But first, I need to make
    Yuu-chan admit defeat.
[21:40] MINA
    Level 1: Though blue dye comes from the
    indigo plant, it is bluer than indigo.
[23:08] DAD
    Mina's late coming home today.
[23:10] MOM
    What are you talking about?
[23:12] MOM
    She's staying overnight
    with Kiryu-san for a story.
[23:14] DAD
    She's staying out overnight with a man?
[23:16] DAD
    I never gave her permission to do that.
[23:18] MOM
    But I did. She'll be all right.
[23:22] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "In the Open-Air Bath."
[23:25] HAIBARA
    Are you newlyweds? How nice.
[23:28] HAIBARA
    I've prepared a bed for you.
[23:30] KIRYU
    What? Actually, we're here to cover a story.
[23:32] TSUKUDA
    She thought we were newlyweds? Wow.

E6 - In the Open-Air Bath

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[02:03] KIRYU
    Tsukuda.
[02:04] MINA
    Yes?
[02:05] KIRYU
    You're so nervous.
[02:07] KIRYU
    Are you that worried about my driving?
[02:10] MINA
    What? Oh, no. I'm sorry.
[02:14] MINA
    It's not like that.
SIGN    #06 In the Open-Air Bath
[02:38] KIRYU
    What's going on here?
[02:59] KIRYU
    Are you okay, Tsukuda?
[03:02] MINA
    Yes.
[03:05] KIRYU
    We'll have to go over the mountains.
[03:08] MINA
    This feeling...
[03:10] MINA
    What is this feeling?
[03:16] AD SUZUKI
    This isn't good!
[03:18] SUIREN
    No? The camera films automatically.
[03:20] SUIREN
    I'm sure those two can handle
    a story on their own.
[03:23] AD SUZUKI
    That's not the problem.
[03:24] AD SUZUKI
    I mean a man and a woman have been
    sent to a hot spring alone together.
[03:28] SUIREN
    Kiryu-kun's an adult. They'll be fine.
[03:31] AD SUZUKI
    Haven't you noticed how
    Tsukuda-chan's been acting lately?
[03:35] SUIREN
    Noticed what?
[03:37] AD SUZUKI
    Girls her age are in love with love.
[03:41] AD SUZUKI
    And Kiryu-san doesn't seem
    totally disinterested either.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[03:58] TAKURO
    Where's Mina?
[04:00] MIKASA
    She's staying out overnight with
    Kiryu-san to cover a story.
[04:06] TAKURO
    Kiryu, huh?
[04:08] TAKURO
    Oh, right. You mean SpoLuna's
    female announcer.
[04:11] MIKASA
    That's Suiren-san.
[04:12] MIKASA
    Kiryu-san is the former rugby player
    bad boy who sits next to her.
[04:17] TAKURO
    She's staying overnight with a man?
[04:20] TAKURO
    No one told me.
[04:22] MIKASA
    She told me.
[04:24] TAKURO
    And you let her go?
[04:27] MIKASA
    Of course. It's been her
    dream since grade school.
[04:31] MIKASA
    She'll be fine.
[04:34] TAURO
    Right.
[04:40] KIRYU
    A rugby team that played
    overseas the other day...
[04:49] KIRYU
    suddenly abandoned the match
    and engaged in rough play.
[04:53] KIRYU
    At first, people thought
    it was alien interference,
[04:57] KIRYU
    but an investigation revealed they
    were neither disguised aliens
[05:01] KIRYU
    nor robots but rugby players.
[05:05] KIRYU
    They were probably brainwashed
    by aliens somehow,
[05:09] KIRYU
    but no one's been able to prove it.
[05:13] KIRYU
    There's only one place where they
    could've come in contact with aliens.
[05:17] KIRYU
    The place where they held
    a secret training camp,
[05:21] KIRYU
    Honekami Hot Spring Gorge.
[05:25] KIRYU
    We're here, Tsukuda.
[05:28] MINA
    Yes, Kiryu-san.
[05:32] HAIBARA
    Welcome.
[05:36] HAIBARA
    Y'all are newlyweds? How nice.
[05:40] KIRYU
    Actually...
[05:46] HAIBARA
    I've prepared a bed for y'all.
[05:49] BOTH
    What?
[05:51] KIRYU
    Actually, we're here to cover a story.
[05:53] KIRYU
    I believe we requested two rooms.
[05:56] HAIBARA
    Is that right? Forgive me.
[06:00] HAIBARA
    In that case, I'll have another room
    prepared for y'all right away.
[06:09] HAIBARA
    Make yourselves at home until then.
[06:13] MINA
    Why does she have a Kyoto accent?
[06:17] HAIBARA
    Feel free to use the bath anytime.
[06:23] KIRYU
    What a careless hostess.
[06:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Ahem!
[06:40] MINA
    She thought we looked like newlyweds? Wow.
[06:48] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't allow a newbie to
    cover a story with Kiryu,
[06:53] MUTSUMUNE
    Luna TV's hottest newscaster.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
[07:06] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[07:09] NAKORU
    If you're looking for
    Tsukuda-senpai, she's not here.
[07:11] KANJI
    I'm not looking for her.
[07:13] KANJI
    I just happened to pass by.
[07:15] NAKORU
    She went on a trip to cover a story.
[07:17] NAKORU
    You know that handsome SpoLuna guy Kiryu?
[07:20] NAKORU
    Apparently, she's with him.
[07:22] KANJI
    Well, it's her job. She's bound
    to travel for work sometimes.
[07:26] NAKORU
    It's just the two of them.
[07:30] KANJI
    That's none of my business.
[07:38] KANJI
    Tsukuda wouldn't give that
    old guy the time of day.
[07:51] KIRYU
    Well, well.
[07:53] KIRYU
    You look good in a yukata.
[07:55] MINA
    Kiryu-san.
[08:03] MINA
    Thank you for earlier.
[08:06] KIRYU
    It was nothing.
[08:08] MINA
    Um...
[08:11] MINA
    Never mind. It's nothing.
[08:14] KIRYU
    What is it? You're not acting like yourself.
[08:18] MINA
    Well, are you seeing anyone, Kiryu-san?
[08:24] KIRYU
    What?
[08:27] MINA
    I'm sorry. Of course you are.
[08:32] MINA
    That was a strange thing to ask.
[08:35] HAIBARA
    Dinner is served.
[08:38] KIRYU
    Dinner's ready. Come on, Tsukuda.
[08:49] MINA
    I can't eat this much.
[08:53] HAIBARA
    There's plenty more if you'd like seconds.
[08:55] MINA
    I won't be asking for more.
[08:57] KIRYU
    More, please.
[08:58] HAIBARA
    Of course.
[09:00] KIRYU
    Here you are.
[09:04] KIRYU
    Tsukuda, if you're not
    gonna eat that, I will.
[09:06] MINA
    Go ahead.
[09:15] MUTSUMUNE
    Damn you, Tsukudani.
[09:23] MUTSUMUNE
    "Squee, it's a hot spring!"
[09:26] MUTSUMUNE
    When that idiot comes running in here...
[09:39] MUTSUMUNE
    The trap has been set!
SIGN    Large Communal Bath
[09:52] MINA
    Rustic hot springs like these
    tend to have mixed bathing.
[09:57] KIRYU
    What are you so bashful about?
[10:00] KIRYU
    Come closer.
[10:03] MINA
    "Come closer." "Oh, I couldn't."
    "It's fine. Come closer."
[10:07] MINA
    Yeah, right. Oh, my.
[10:09] KIRYU
    Tsukuda, the women's bath is that way.
SIGN    Men
SIGN    Men
SIGN    Women
[10:27] MINA
    I'm such a dummy.
[10:29] MINA
    What's wrong with me?
[10:33] MINA
    Could it be? Is this feeling love?
[10:39] MINA
    Wow.
[10:42] MUTSUMUNE
    What is she doing?
[10:48] MUTSUMUNE
    That girl can be so difficult.
[11:02] MUTSUMUNE
    Oopsie-daisy. Here I go.
[11:47] MINA
    I thought I just heard Mutsumune-san scream.
[11:51] MINA
    Maybe I imagined it.
[12:11] MINA
    Ouch...
[12:18] MINA
    Mutsumune-san?
[12:31] MINA
    Otsuki Mina-san?
[12:39] KIRYU
    Tsukuda, what's wrong?
    Should I come over there?
[12:46] MINA
    It's nothing!
[12:49] KIRYU
    Okay.
[12:53] MINA
    Um...
[12:54] OTSUKI
    Nanashi contacted me.
[12:58] (Flashback) BABY
    Numerous Replians were detected
    at Honekami Hot Spring.
[13:02] (Flashback) BABY
    It was the Replians'
    personality change system
[13:06] (Flashback) BABY
    that temporarily altered the
    rugby players' personalities.
[13:10] (Flashback) BABY
    They're aliens who prefer violent
    brawls to sportsmanlike games.
[13:17] (Flashback) BABY
    They probably changed the
    personalities of the players
[13:20] (Flashback) BABY
    who visited Honekami Hot Spring.
[13:25] OTSUKI
    Join me.
SIGN    29 Vegetables
     7820μg of β-Carotene
    80% Vegetable Juice + 20% Fruit Juice = 100%
[13:41] MINA
    Okay.
[13:47] MINA
    Jujitsu.
[13:53] NARRATION
    The carrot she consumed contains
    an abundance of β-carotene.
[13:57] NARRATION
    When provitamin A is converted to vitamin A,
[14:01] NARRATION
    the active oxygen in her body is
    removed, and her cells are regenerated
[14:06] NARRATION
    as Tsukuda Mina completes
    her Jujitsu transformation
[14:09] NARRATION
    into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[14:16] NARRATION
    Mina's weapon is launched
    from the Rabbit Force base
[14:21] NARRATION
    secretly constructed on the moon.
[14:24] NARRATION
    The red-shift gravity catapult's
    super acceleration allows
[14:28] NARRATION
    the weapon to reach Earth in an
    average time of 14.7 seconds.
SIGN    One
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Jujitsu Sequence In Progress
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
[16:01] OTSUKI
    Let's go.
[16:03] OTSUKI
    What's wrong?
[16:05] TSUKISHIRO
    Well, um...
[16:09] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san, I don't actually
    want to be a Mina.
[16:28] TSUKISHIRO
    I love being an announcer.
[16:31] TSUKISHIRO
    I want to focus on my job.
[16:36] TSUKISHIRO
    I came to this hot spring for
    work, but I can't seem to focus.
[16:42] TSUKISHIRO
    I think there's someone I'm interested in.
[16:48] TSUKISHIRO
    They're a colleague. My senior, actually.
[16:59] TSUKISHIRO
    I know these romantic feelings
    would get in the way of my work.
[17:04] TSUKISHIRO
    I don't want to be a Mina, but these
    feelings I have for Kiryu-san...
[17:11] OTSUKI
    I get it.
[17:14] OTSUKI
    You can't help it if you fall in
    love with someone or something.
[17:26] KIRYU
    Tsukuda?
[17:28] KIRYU
    She's still just a child if she's
    swimming around in the bath.
[17:36] OTSUKI
    Who said you can only
    do one thing at a time?
[17:40] OTSUKI
    You should seize everything you want.
[17:46] TSUKISHIRO
    You're right.
[17:50] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro!
[17:54] OTSUKI
    Take this! And this!
[18:14] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san!
[18:24] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, transform your carrot weapon.
[18:27] TSUKISHIRO
    Right.
[18:29] TSUKISHIRO
    Transform!
[18:33] NARRATION
    A carrot weapon can transform
    according to its wielder's will,
[18:37] NARRATION
    turning it into the ultimate weapon.
[18:42] TSUKISHIRO
    Carrot Submarine Attack!
[18:53] KIRYU
    What is that?
[19:14] OTSUKI
    Replian, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy,
[19:18] OTSUKI
    the Rabbit Force is placing
    you under arrest.
[19:22] TSUKISHIRO
    The Replian has been arrested.
[19:27] KIRYU
    Are you okay?
[19:30] KIRYU
    What? Mutsumune? What are you doing here?
[19:37] KIRYU
    Tsukuda, are you hurt?
[19:40] KIRYU
    Good.
[19:57] MINA
    Suiren-san?
[19:58] KIRYU
    Suiren-kun, what are you doing here?
[20:01] SUIREN
    No reason.
[20:03] SUIREN
    I decided to visit a hot spring
    on my day off and ended up here.
[20:19] SUIREN
    Announcers Kiryu and Tsukuda
    got the scoop on the rough play
[20:24] SUIREN
    of the rugby team that participated
    in an friendly overseas game.
[20:28] KIRYU
    The Replian personality
    change system secretly built
[20:31] KIRYU
    at the bottom of the Honekami
    Hot Spring open-air bath
[20:37] KIRYU
    brainwashed the visiting rugby players.
[20:40] MINA
    Take a look at this video
    from the hot spring.
SIGN    Exclusive Scoop!
SIGN    Secret of the Honekami
    Hot Spring Open-Air Bath!!
[20:48] KATO D
    Why?
[20:50] KATO D
    Why did you film an immodest Mucchi
[20:55] KATO D
    and the ruined bath instead of
    Mina fighting the Replians?
[21:00] MINA
    I'm sorry.
[21:02] KATO D
    I'm taking the bath's cost of
    repairs out of your wages.
[21:05] KATO D
    Not that you make much.
[21:06] MINA
    What? But...
[21:08] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san.
[21:09] KATO D
    What?
[21:10] AD SUZUKI
    The Sports Federation is honoring SpoLuna
    for repairing international relations.
[21:16] AD SUZUKI
    They're offering to pay
    to repair the bath, too.
[21:20] AD SUZUKI
    That's great news for you, Tsukuda-chan.
[21:23] KATO D
    Fine, then.
[21:24] KATO D
    Since the matter has been settled,
[21:28] KATO D
    I suppose I can honor Tsukudani—rather,
    Tsukuda's extraordinary efforts.
[21:34] ALL
    Good job!
[21:36] MINA
    I'll do it all.
[21:40] MINA
    Work, my mission, and love.
[23:08] WOMAN
    My mother taught me dreams
    aren't for achieving.
[23:12] WOMAN
    We're happiest when we're dreaming.
[23:15] GIRL
    Kisaragi Mina-san, can I be
    like you when I grow up?
[23:19] WOMAN
    I'm sure you can.
[23:21] GIRL
    I can be a Mina, too.
[23:24] WOMAN
    Well, I'm a hurry. See you later.
[23:25] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki
    Mina, "Fair Harumina."
[23:29] WOMAN
    Mother, Japan's Minas have
    recognized me as a Japanese Mina.
[23:35] TSUKUDA
    What?

E7 - Suiren-senpai's Affair

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:53] KATO D
    Announcer Koshu Suiren
    will be taking some time off SpoLuna.
[01:58] ALL
    What?!
[02:00] KATO D
    I'm sure you know her already,
[02:03] KATO D
    but veteran pundit Kozai Ana
    will be filling in for her.
[02:09] KOZAI
    Thanks for having me.
[02:10] MINA
    What's going to happen to Suiren-san?
[02:14] KATO D
    She may be asked to leave the program.
[02:18] MINA
    What? No way.
SIGN    #07 Suiren-senpai's Affair
[02:30] MINA
    Suzuki-san, did something happen to Suiren-san?
[02:35] AD SUZUKI
    My friend who works in publishing told me
[02:38] AD SUZUKI
    someone brought photographs of Suiren-san
    having an affair to a magazine.
[02:43] MINA
    An affair? There's no way.
[02:46] AD SUZUKI
    They came from a shady
    up-and-coming paparazza.
[02:49] AD SUZUKI
    She hasn't handed over the photos yet
    because she's hoping to jack up the price.
[02:55] MINA
    There's no way Suiren-san would have an affair.
[02:58] MINA
    I'm going to find this
    paparazza and let her have it.
[03:05] MINA
    The first rule to contacting the paparazzi
    is don't let anyone find out.
[03:10] MAN
    Where should we go?
[03:11] WOMAN
    Well...
[03:14] MAN
    That's SpoLuna's Tsukuda.
[03:15] WOMAN
    She's acting suspicious.
SIGN    Message
     Board
SIGN    Day
SIGN    Time
SIGN    Message
SIGN    Messages
    will
    be
    erased
    after
    six
    hours
[03:20] MINA
    The second rule is write
    your BWH on a message board.
[03:29] MINA
    What's a BWH, anyway?
[03:32] MINA
    The third rule is be patient and wait,
[03:35] MINA
    and wait, and wait...
[03:46] MINA
    Um, hello?
[03:49] TSUTSUJI
    Look down at your chest.
[03:55] MINA
    What?!
[04:00] MINA
    Please don't shoot!
[04:02] TSUTSUJI
    What are you talkin' about?
[04:04] TSUTSUJI
    Just keep quiet and follow the light.
[04:06] MINA
    Okay.
[04:20] MINA
    A bazooka with a laser sight?
[04:22] MINA
    I'm gonna die!
[04:24] TSUTSUJI
    You idiot, it's a telephoto
    camera with infrared focusing.
[04:29] MINA
    You're the paparazza?
[04:31] TSUTSUJI
    What do you want?
[04:33] MINA
    I'm here about Suiren-senpai's photos.
[04:36] MINA
    There's no way Suiren-senpai
    would have an affair.
[04:39] TSUTSUJI
    So that's what this is about?
[04:41] MINA
    You don't actually have any photos, do you?
[04:44] TSUTSUJI
    Of course I do.
[04:45] MINA
    Then show them to me.
[04:46] TSUTSUJI
    Only if you pay me.
[04:49] MINA
    So you don't have them.
[04:51] TSUTSUJI
    I do.
[04:51] MINA
    Do not.
[04:52] TSUTSUJI
    Do, too.
[04:53] MINA
    Do not.
[04:54] TSUTSUJI
    Do, too.
[04:54] MINA
    Do not.
[04:55] TSUTSUJI
    Do, too.
[04:55] TSUTSUJI
    Take a look.
[05:00] MINA
    No way.
[05:02] TSUTSUJI
    That was just a little taste.
[05:05] TSUTSUJI
    If you want to see more, fork over the money.
[05:07] TSUTSUJI
    Later.
[05:17] KOZAI
    I, Kozai, will be filling in as main
    caster during Suiren's absence.
[05:23] KOZAI
    Let's start with the three-minute
    segment, Tsukuda.
[05:26] MINA
    I can't believe Suiren-senpai
    is having an affair.
[05:29] KOZAI
    Tsukuda.
[05:31] KOZAI
    Tsukuda!
[05:32] MINA
    Right.
[05:38] MINA
    I'm sorry.
[05:40] KOZAI
    What has Suiren been teaching
    the new announcer?
[05:50] MINA
    Forgive me, Tonton-chan.
SIGN    Tsukishima Shopping Center
SIGN    Monkura
[05:59] TSUTSUJI
    Monja sucks.
[06:01] TSUTSUJI
    Nothing beats okonomiyaki.
[06:04] MINA
    I don't care about that.
[06:06] MINA
    Here's your money.
[06:08] MINA
    Now you'll give me the photos, right?
[06:15] TSUTSUJI
    You think I'm a sucker?
[06:16] TSUTSUJI
    I'm not sellin' those
    exclusive photos for peanuts.
[06:19] MINA
    What?
[06:24] MINA
    Wait, Ms. Paparazza.
[06:26] TSUTSUJI
    No deal. Just give up and leave me alone.
[06:31] MINA
    I can't do that.
[06:33] MINA
    Huh?
[06:34] MINA
    It's infrared focusing.
[06:36] TSUTSUJI
    No, that's a laser sight!
[06:39] MINA
    What?
[06:41] MINA
    Watch out!
[06:47] MINA
    What? An alien?
[07:04] TSUTSUJI
    You saved my neck today. I owe you my life.
[07:11] MINA
    Why was that alien trying to kill you?
[07:15] TSUTSUJI
    I've had my fair share of danger
    livin' the life of a rogue.
[07:22] TSUTSUJI
    Have a seat.
[07:24] MINA
    Okay.
[07:26] TSUTSUJI
    In any case, that's the first time
    an alien's tried to kill me.
[07:30] MINA
    Why do you do this
    dangerous job, Ms. Paparazza?
[07:33] TSUTSUJI
    I'm glad you asked.
[07:35] TSUTSUJI
    Despite how I seems, before I got
    into this unfortunate business,
[07:39] TSUTSUJI
    I used to be in the business
    of savin' the world.
[07:43] TSUTSUJI
    But...
[07:45] TSUTSUJI
    But I found somethin' more important to save.
[07:49] MINA
    Like what?
[07:54] TSUTSUJI
    These.
[07:57] TSUTSUJI
    Well? Pretty impressive, right?
[07:59] MINA
    Uh, sure.
[08:01] TSUTSUJI
    They're all used and outdated weapons.
[08:05] MINA
    But why weapons?
[08:07] TSUTSUJI
    That's right. People despise weapons.
[08:11] TSUTSUJI
    They're created by people,
    used by people until they break,
[08:15] TSUTSUJI
    and ultimately tossed
    when they become outdated.
[08:19] TSUTSUJI
    Savin' these old things
    from the junkyard is my purpose.
[08:27] MINA
    Well, be careful.
[08:31] TSUTSUJI
    Hold up.
[08:33] MINA
    What?
[08:33] TSUTSUJI
    Why are you so desperate to help her?
[08:38] MINA
    Because I want to be like Suiren-senpai.
[08:43] MINA
    She's the reason I became an announcer.
[08:45] TSUTSUJI
    I see. Sounds like you've got your reasons.
[08:49] TSUTSUJI
    Maybe I wouldn't have gone rogue
    if I'd had a boss like her.
[08:53] MINA
    Ms. Paparazza, are you sure
    I can't have those photos?
[08:57] TSUTSUJI
    No. I need money to save the Type 601.
[09:02] MINA
    The Type 601?
[09:04] TSUTSUJI
    You mean you don't know?
[09:07] TSUTSUJI
    It's the first tank created in post-war Japan
[09:08] TSUTSUJI
    when our technology finally
    caught up with the rest of the world.
[09:12] TSUTSUJI
    The last remainin' one is about to be scrapped.
[09:15] MINA
    I see.
SIGN    Iida Hall
[09:28] KIRYU
    I believe you.
[09:33] KIRYU
    Onoue-san was dejected
    because he couldn't protect you
[09:37] KIRYU
    from the pressure from the higher ups.
[09:40] SUIREN
    There's only one truth.
[09:41] SUIREN
    People will realize that eventually.
[09:45] KIRYU
    I know. Tsukuda said there's
    no way you'd have an affair.
[09:50] KIRYU
    Apparently, she said she'd
    teach that paparazza a lesson.
[09:54] SUIREN
    I see.
[09:56] HAIBARA
    Here's your Manhattan.
[09:57] SUIREN
    What?
[09:58] HAIBARA
    You're wearing the same shirt you wore
    yesterday, and you haven't brushed your hair.
[10:02] HAIBARA
    This is the perfect cocktail for you.
[10:06] HAIBARA
    A bartender from Maryland made this cocktail
    as a pick-me-up for a wounded gunman.
[10:17] SUIREN
    It worked.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[10:21] TAKURO
    Has Mina been having money troubles recently?
[10:24] TAKURO
    I saw Tonton-chan had been broken.
[10:26] MIKASA
    Maybe she's spending it on a bad boy.
[10:30] TAKURO
    A boy?
[10:32] MIKASA
    I'm joking, honey.
[10:34] TAKURO
    Don't make jokes that'll
    give me a heart attack.
[10:38] MIKASA
    She'll be fine.
[10:41] MIKASA
    Filling Tonton-chan with change
    has been her dream since grade school.
[10:46] TAKURO
    Yikes.
SIGN    Luna TV
[10:50] KATO D
    Suzuki, what the hell are all these papers?
[10:52] AD SUZUKI
    I'm sorry. Looks like some of the newsroom's
    documents got mixed up with ours.
[10:56] KATO D
    Well, hurry up and give them back.
SIGN    The Last Type 601 Retires Today!!
[11:03] MINA
    So this is the Type 601.
[11:06] MINA
    Excuse me.
[11:08] KOZAI
    Tsukuda-san.
[11:13] TSUTSUJI
    What do you want?
[11:16] TSUTSUJI
    I'm still not givin' you those photos.
[11:18] MINA
    That's not why I'm here.
[11:19] MINA
    The last Type 601 is going to be used as
    a target at the Mt. Fuji practice range today.
[11:24] TSUTSUJI
    What?
[11:26] TSUTSUJI
    But why bother tellin' me?
[11:28] TSUTSUJI
    If you were hoping to trade the information
    for the photos, then forget it.
[11:31] MINA
    It's not like that.
    You love the Type 601, don't you?
[11:37] MINA
    Nobody wants their friends to be sad.
[11:41] TSUTSUJI
    Don't be absurd.
[11:42] TSUTSUJI
    When did we become friends?
[11:47] MINA
    Ms. Paparazza...
[11:51] MINA
    Not even a paparazza can save a tank.
[11:55] MINA
    I'll have to become Mina.
[12:04] BABY
    What are you thinking about?
[12:07] MINA
    Hypothetically speaking, what would happen
[12:10] MINA
    if I used Mina's powers
    for something other than my duties?
[12:16] BABY
    One of my subordinates once tried that.
[12:20] BABY
    She lost her powers, was kicked off
    the Rabbit Force, and became a rogue Mina.
[12:27] MINA
    A rogue Mina?
[12:29] BABY
    Make sure you don't go rogue. See you later.
[12:31] MINA
    Hey, wait.
[12:38] TSUTSUJI
    It's really the Type 601.
[12:41] TSUTSUJI
    I'll get you out of here.
[12:49] TSUTSUJI
    Oh, it's so good.
[12:52] TSUTSUJI
    My darlin' Type 601.
[13:13] TSUTSUJI
    Stop!
[13:19] TSUTSUJI
    It's those aliens. What's going on?
[13:27] TSUTSUJI
    Crap! The time has come to pay the piper.
SIGN    Tsukuda Mina
SIGN    Luna TV
SIGN    Ratings Boosting Special Week!!
[13:37] KATO D
    In the next special, we'll cover the country's
    worst foods chosen by baseball players.
[13:42] MINA
    I wonder what happened to the paparazza.
[13:43] KATO D
    I guess we'll drag that out
    for a whole week. Got it?
[13:46] KATO D
    Anyway, Tsukuda and Suzuki,
    I want you two to cover the story.
[13:52] MINA
    I'm sorry.
[13:56] KATO D
    Unbelievable.
[13:59] MINA
    Hello, this is Tsukuda.
[14:01] TSUTSUJI
    Hello?
[14:03] MINA
    Ms. Paparazza?
[14:05] TSUTSUJI
    I'm at the Mt. Fuji practice range.
[14:07] MINA
    The practice range? What's going on?
[14:12] MINA
    Ms. Paparazza!
[14:13] TSUTSUJI
    You called me a friend earlier.
[14:16] MINA
    Yes.
[14:17] TSUTSUJI
    I know you don't owe me anything, but...
[14:24] TSUTSUJI
    I'm a rogue, so I don't have
    anyone else to turn to.
[14:28] MINA
    Ms. Paparazza.
[14:33] BABY
    Make sure you don't go rogue.
[14:36] MINA
    Even if I go rogue,
    I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
[14:39] MINA
    Right now I need to save the paparazza.
[14:50] MINA
    Jujitsu.
[14:53] NARRATION
    The carrot she consumed causes Tsukuda Mina
[14:56] NARRATION
    to complete her Jujitsu transformation
    into Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[15:00] NARRATION
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[15:07] NARRATION
    The red-shift gravity catapult's super
    acceleration allows the weapon
[15:11] NARRATION
    to reach Earth in
    an average time of 14.7 seconds.
[15:22] TSUTSUJI
    Stop! Please stop!
[15:25] TSUTSUJI
    What?
[15:34] TSUTSUJI
    What? You're Tsukishiro Mina.
[15:37] TSUTSUJI
    What are you doin' here?
[15:38] TSUKISHIRO
    More importantly,
    why are aliens trying to kill you?
[15:42] TSUTSUJI
    I don't know.
[15:45] TSUTSUJI
    Come to think of it, they started
    comin' for me after I took that photo.
[15:50] TSUKISHIRO
    That photo...
[15:58] TSUKISHIRO
    This alien...
[15:59] TSUTSUJI
    Alien?
[16:03] TSUTSUJI
    I see.
[16:05] TSUTSUJI
    I heard SpoLuna's Suiren
    was investigatin' a backroom deal
[16:08] TSUTSUJI
    between the coach of a baseball
    team and a mysterious business.
[16:12] TSUTSUJI
    I got that photo while keepin' an eye on her.
[16:19] TSUTSUJI
    That guy must've been an alien.
[16:22] TSUKISHIRO
    So Suiren-senpai wasn't having an affair.
[16:26] TSUTSUJI
    I thought I'd get more money if I said I had
    photos of a popular announcer's affair.
[16:30] TSUTSUJI
    I'm sorry.
[16:32] TSUKISHIRO
    In any case, let's get out of here.
[16:34] TSUTSUJI
    We can't. We gotta save the Type 601, too.
[16:37] TSUKISHIRO
    But...
[16:38] TSUTSUJI
    I'm prepared to die with this thing.
[16:43] TSUKISHIRO
    Fine. We'll rescue this tank, too.
[16:46] TSUTSUJI
    You understand how I feel?
[16:49] TSUKISHIRO
    To you, this tank is your friend.
[16:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Nobody wants their friends to be sad.
[16:56] TSUTSUJI
    You...
[17:04] TSUKISHIRO
    Carrot Homing Missiles!
[17:16] TSUTSUJI
    Nice one.
[17:17] TSUKISHIRO
    Take this!
[17:22] TSUKISHIRO
    Looks like I'm out of missiles.
[17:30] TSUTSUJI
    Tsukishiro-han...
[17:33] BABY
    It's good to see you again, Sanae Tsutsuji.
[17:35] TSUTSUJI
    Nanashi?
[17:37] BABY
    I see you haven't fixed
    your habit of collecting antiques.
[17:41] BABY
    Normally using Mina's powers for yourself
    merits permanent exile from the force.
[17:47] BABY
    But if you're willing to help us,
    I'd be willing to return your powers...
SIGN    Blueberry
[17:52] BABY
    Satsuki Mina.
[17:55] TSUTSUJI
    There's no fixing this habit.
[18:00] TSUTSUJI
    I'll drink this juice with great care.
[18:07] NARRATION
    The blueberry she consumed contains
    an abundance of anthocyanin.
[18:11] NARRATION
    The active oxygen in her body is removed,
    and her cells are regenerated
[18:16] NARRATION
    as Sanae Tsutsuji completes
    her Jujitsu transformation
[18:18] NARRATION
    into Satsuki Mina of the Rabbit Force,
    wouldn't you know it?
[18:27] TSUKISHIRO
    You're a Mina, too?
[18:32] SATSUKI
    I'm Satsuki Mina, rogue member
    of the Rabbit Force.
[18:36] SATSUKI
    Let's do this.
[18:39] SATSUKI
    What? I don't get a Blueberry Weapon?
[18:42] BABY
    You were kicked off the force.
    We don't have a new weapon for you.
[18:46] SATSUKI
    Then how am I supposed to fight?
[18:48] BABY
    You prefer old things anyway.
[18:51] BABY
    I ordered delivery for you. Hold tight.
[18:53] SATSUKI
    Delivery?
[18:59] BABY
    Thanks for coming.
[19:00] HAZUKI
    Thanks for waiting.
[19:01] HAZUKI
    Finding this in storage wasn't easy.
[19:06] SATSUKI
    This is it. My greatest
    and most powerful friend.
[19:11] HAZUKI
    Thanks for ordering!
[19:14] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? I feel like I've seen her before.
[19:18] SATSUKI
    Tsukishiro-han!
[19:19] SATSUKI
    All right! Killer Rabbit Fire!
[19:39] TSUKISHIRO
    Conejonians, for violating the Astral
    Civilization Non-intervention Policy
[19:43] TSUKISHIRO
    and misuse of weapons,
[19:45] TSUKISHIRO
    the Rabbit Force is placing you under arrest.
[19:53] TSUTSUJI
    The Type 601 is awesome.
[19:56] TSUTSUJI
    Now let's see how this impressive armor works.
[20:04] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm so good at winning people over.
[20:09] MUTSUMUNE
    I feel bad for Princess Ren,
[20:11] MUTSUMUNE
    but if I win over Kozai, SpoLuna's
    newbie spot will surely pass to me.
[20:20] MUTSUMUNE
    What?!
[20:21] MUTSUMUNE
    Something's coming my way now!
[20:30] SUIREN
    Breaking news.
[20:31] SUIREN
    A major impersonation plot
    by Conejonians has been exposed.
[20:36] SUIREN
    Take a look at these photos.
SIGN    Pro Baseball Impersonation Plot Exposed
[20:39] SUIREN
    These baseball-loving aliens planned
[20:41] SUIREN
    to take the place of actual
    players during an official game.
[20:44] SUIREN
    While investigating the coach
    said to be working with them,
[20:48] SUIREN
    we acquired this concrete evidence.
[20:52] KOZAI
    Suiren's the best fit for
    SpoLuna after all, Onoue-kun.
[21:03] MINA
    She kind of looks like her.
[21:06] KATO D
    Damn it, Tsukuda!
[21:08] KATO D
    You skipped today's
    important meeting! Where did you go?
[21:12] MINA
    What? Uh, um...
[21:15] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, HQ called.
[21:17] AD SUZUKI
    They said Suiren's scoop
    has received a huge response.
[21:20] KATO D
    What?!
[21:21] KATO D
    I see. In that case,
    even though she's not here,
[21:24] KATO D
    let's celebrate Suiren's return to work
    and hope for her future success.
[21:30] KATO D
    Cheers, everyone.
[21:31] ALL
    Cheers!
[21:35] MINA
    Come to think of it, Kiryu-san
    looked so kindly at Suiren-san.
[21:42] MINA
    Could it be?
[23:08] YOSHIMI
    Hey, Kanji. I got sexy
    pictures of Tsukishiro again.
[23:11] KANJI
    They're not sexy, okay?
[23:13] KANJI
    I'm genuinely a fan of Tsukishiro Mina.
[23:15] YOSHIMI
    This one's even crazier.
[23:17] NAKORU
    I can't believe you're obsessed
    with that midriff-baring freak.
[23:20] NAKORU
    You suck.
[23:21] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento
    Heiki Mina, "Grumpy Nakoru."
[23:25] NAKORU
    I won't let you scout my brother.
[23:27] NAKORU
    Abductionites, Minazuki Mina will arrest you.
[23:30] NAKORU
    Here come the mini tomatoes!
[23:33] TSUKUDA
    Minazuki Mina? Wow!

E8 - Grumpy Nakoru

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #08 Grumpy Nakoru
[02:06] SUIREN
    Another major leaguer has gone missing.
[02:09] SUIREN
    This is the seventh one.
[02:11] KIRYU
    The police are investigating the possibility
    the disappearances are linked,
[02:16] KIRYU
    but as of now, they have no leads.
[02:19] MINA
    I'm worried.
[02:22] MINA
    Next up are today's sports results.
[02:27] MINA
    At this morning's international
    swimming meet held in America,
[02:30] MINA
    Japan managed to come in second overall.
[02:33] NAKORU
    Onii-chan, time for dinner.
[02:37] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[02:40] KANJI
    Why'd you come barging in?
[02:42] NAKORU
    I've been calling you to dinner.
[02:45] KANJI
    Okay, okay.
[02:46] KANJI
    I'm sure it's just mini
    hamburgers again, right?
[02:48] KANJI
    I'm taking a bath first.
[02:50] NAKORU
    Your food will get cold.
[02:52] KANJI
    Oh, yeah?
[02:56] NAKORU
    What's his problem?
[03:04] NAKORU
    Let's see. If I do this, and then this...
SIGN    Tsukishiro Mina-chan's Friends
[03:11] NAKORU
    I knew it.
[03:26] NAKORU
    Sheesh.
[03:28] TSUKUDA
    We're excited to see what Japan does next.
[03:41] KANJI
    Hey, Nakoru, aren't you gonna eat with me?
[03:44] NAKORU
    Do whatever you want.
[03:46] KANJI
    What's wrong with you?
[03:48] NAKORU
    I'm not your maid.
[03:51] KANJI
    What's her problem?
[04:03] YOSHIMI
    It's crazy! I broke 20,000 visits.
[04:05] KANJI
    Huh.
[04:06] YOSHIMI
    I uploaded another photo of Tsukishiro.
[04:09] KANJI
    What?
[04:12] YOSHIMI
    Look at her midriff. Isn't it sexy?
[04:14] KANJI
    I don't care if it's sexy.
[04:16] KANJI
    I'm a genuine fan of Tsukishiro Mina.
[04:19] YOSHIMI
    This is incredible.
[04:20] KANJI
    What?
[04:31] NAKORU
    My brother sucks.
[04:34] NAKORU
    Why did it have to be Tsukishiro Mina?
[04:38] NAKORU
    What do you think, Tsukuda-senpai?
[04:41] MINA
    I'm sure Tsukishiro Mina is working very hard.
[04:45] NAKORU
    I don't care about that midriff-baring freak.
[04:50] NAKORU
    I'm talking about my brother.
[04:52] MINA
    Kanji?
[04:56] MINA
    I know he's working hard.
[04:58] NAKORU
    What?
[04:59] MINA
    He said the team would definitely
    make it to the Koshien next year.
[05:03] MINA
    The other day, he told me
    he wanted to join the major league.
[05:07] NAKORU
    But he doesn't tell me anything.
[05:12] NAKORU
    Maybe he doesn't need me anymore.
[05:17] MINA
    It's not that he's ignoring you.
[05:21] MINA
    When you're
    together all the time,
[05:23] MINA
    you start to blend in with the air around you.
[05:25] NAKORU
    That's for married couples.
[05:27] MINA
    What?
[05:28] MINA
    Is that right?
[05:30] MINA
    But I'm sure it's even more true for siblings.
[05:33] NAKORU
    No.
[05:36] MINA
    What?
[05:38] NAKORU
    Me and my brother aren't real siblings.
[05:42] MINA
    What?!
[05:48] NAKORU
    My real mom who lives far away asked
[05:51] NAKORU
    if I wanted to live with her
    once I entered high school.
[05:58] NAKORU
    My brother doesn't know about that, though.
[06:12] KANJI
    Nakoru!
[06:13] NAKORU
    What?
[06:15] KANJI
    Nice catch.
[06:17] NAKORU
    Sheesh.
[06:18] KANJI
    I'm tired of eating your
    mini hamburgers every day.
[06:22] KANJI
    Can't we have—
[06:23] NAKORU
    Then why don't you eat out?
[06:26] KANJI
    Don't get mad.
[06:27] KANJI
    When I become a major leaguer,
    I'll treat you to a huge hamburger.
[06:33] KANJI
    What's wrong, Nakoru?
[06:36] NAKORU
    Does that mean you'll go to America someday?
[06:39] KANJI
    Well, it's my dream.
[06:40] NAKORU
    You'll go alone?
[06:42] KANJI
    What?
[06:47] NAKORU
    You can't.
[06:48] KANJI
    What?
[06:53] NAKORU
    You'll never become a major leaguer.
[07:07] MINA
    Nako-chan and Kanji have
    a pretty complicated relationship.
[07:18] BABY
    Not there.
[07:22] WIFE B
    Did you see that?
[07:24] WIFE A
    Oh, I saw it.
[07:25] WIFE B
    Young people these days.
[07:26] MINA
    There, there. Hello.
[07:29] WIFE A
    Does Tsukuda-san have a baby?
[07:31] WIFE B
    There's no telling with kids these days.
[07:34] WIFE A
    What? It's Mina-chan's?
[07:38] MINA
    Why did you suddenly show up here?
[07:41] MINA
    What are you going to do if the neighbors
    start spreading weird rumors about me?
[07:45] BABY
    More importantly, aliens have
    been detected in the area.
[07:48] MINA
    What? Really?
[07:50] BABY
    It seems connected to
    the major leaguer disappearances.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[08:00] MOM
    Some ladies who live in the area
    saw Mina carrying a baby.
[08:04] MOM
    She didn't have it out of wedlock, did she?
[08:07] DAD
    Wedlock?
[08:08] MOM
    I'm joking.
[08:10] MOM
    She was probably babysitting a neighbor's kid.
[08:13] DAD
    That's not funny.
[08:15] MOM
    She's always wanted a younger sister.
[08:18] DAD
    What?
[08:19] DAD
    A younger sister?
[08:22] MOM
    She'd actually prefer a younger sister
    and an even younger brother.
[08:29] DAD
    A younger brother, too?
[08:33] MINA
    Oh, come on. I have
    a SpoLuna meeting soon, too.
SIGN    Vegetables
[08:39] MINA
    Jujitsu.
[08:51] CATCHER
    Nice pitch, Kanji.
[09:05] (Flashback) NAKORU
    You'll never become a major leaguer.
[09:09] (Flashback) NAKORU
    You can't even throw a dirty pitch.
[09:17] NAKORU
    It's his fault for ignoring me recently.
[09:22] NAKORU
    That's why I said that.
[09:25] NAKORU
    But that was a really mean thing to say.
[09:55] KANJI
    Oh, it's just a rabbit.
[09:58] KANJI
    Wait, rabbits don't make that sound!
[10:00] KANJI
    Huh?
[10:03] KANJI
    I must be tired. I've been practicing too much.
[10:08] BABY
    The aliens were detected around here.
[10:11] TSUKISHIRO
    This is my school.
[10:14] YOSHIMI
    It's a bird!
[10:16] YOSHIMI
    It's a rabbit!
[10:17] YOSHIMI
    No, it's Tsukishiro Mina!
[10:20] TSUKISHIRO
    Well, this isn't good.
[10:22] YOSHIMI
    Hey, wait! That midriff...
[10:26] KANJI
    An alien? Why are you wearing a skirt?
[10:29] ALIEN
    Can't you tell? Because I'm here to scout you.
[10:32] ALIEN
    I want you.
[10:33] ALIEN
    I want your dirty pitch.
[10:35] KANJI
    Dirty pitch? But that was...
[10:37] NAKORU
    Onii-chan.
[10:39] KANJI
    You idiot, stay away.
[10:43] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[10:47] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[10:49] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako?
[10:50] BABY
    It came from over there.
[10:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Did something happen?
[10:54] NAKORU
    My brother...
[10:55] TSUKISHIRO
    What? Kanji?
[10:58] TSUKISHIRO
    It's okay. He won't bite.
[11:01] BABY
    It used a teleportation gun.
[11:04] TSUKISHIRO
    Isn't there anything we can do?
[11:05] BABY
    If we plug the amount of energy transferred
    to virtual space into the formula,
[11:10] BABY
    we can determine where he was sent.
[11:13] TSUKISHIRO
    Whatever. Just do it quickly.
[11:15] NAKORU
    Where's my brother?
[11:16] TSUKISHIRO
    It's okay. we'll save Kanji—
[11:17] TSUKISHIRO
    I mean, we'll save your brother.
[11:20] BABY
    Okay. Great news.
[11:23] BABY
    He was sent someplace on Earth.
[11:24] BABY
    It's a bit far from here, though.
[11:25] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll go.
[11:26] NAKORU
    Wait.
[11:28] NAKORU
    Tsukishiro Mina-san, take me with you.
[11:30] BABY
    You can't. It's too dangerous.
[11:34] NAKORU
    I'm going to bring my brother back.
[11:44] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay. Let's go together.
[11:48] NAKORU
    Yeah.
[12:01] TSUKISHIRO
    Are you okay?
[12:03] NAKORU
    Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.
[12:06] TSUKISHIRO
    What?
[12:07] NAKORU
    For bringing me with you.
[12:08] TSUKISHIRO
    Sure.
[12:10] NAKORU
    Your crop top is cute.
[12:16] NAKORU
    Hang in there, Onii-chan.
[12:19] NAKORU
    I'm on my way.
[12:49] KANJI
    Hey, where are we?
[12:52] KANJI
    Is this heaven?
[12:54] ALIEN
    Would you like some ice?
[12:59] PLAYER
    Oh, yes.
[13:00] KANJI
    That's...
[13:03] PLAYER
    One, two, three, four.
[13:06] KANJI
    They're major leaguers.
[13:08] KANJI
    They're all the famous missing players.
[13:11] ALIEN
    That's right, Hazemi Kanji.
[13:13] KANJI
    You're that scout.
[13:15] ALIEN
    I'm sorry we had to bring you here by force.
[13:18] ALIEN
    We created an astral major league because
    we love Earth's civilization so much.
[13:24] KANJI
    An astral major league?
[13:25] ALIEN
    Yes. However, we lack players.
[13:29] ALIEN
    So we scouted them by force
    and had them sign contracts.
[13:34] ALIEN
    With your dirty pitch,
    this team will be perfect.
[13:37] KANJI
    What?
[13:38] ALIEN
    Please. We'd like you to become
    the star player of our dream team.
[13:42] KANJI
    With those major leaguers?
[13:43] ALIEN
    Our astral major league
    is still unknown on Earth.
[13:47] ALIEN
    But soon we'll catch up
    in terms of popularity and skill.
[13:50] ALIEN
    You'll become a famous player.
[13:54] KANJI
    If I become an astral major leaguer,
    will I get to meet Tsukishiro Mina?
[13:59] ALIEN
    Tsukishiro Mina, huh?
[14:02] KANJI
    I mean, I'm genuinely a fan of hers.
[14:07] ALIEN
    Baseball players
    and idols hook up all the time.
[14:11] KANJI
    What?
[14:12] ALIEN
    You might even get to date her—
    or even marry her.
[14:17] KANJI
    What?!
[14:19] KANJI
    Marry her?
[14:24] ALIEN
    Anyway, here's your contract.
[14:27] ALIEN
    Sign here, please.
[14:30] KANJI
    I can become an astral major leaguer...
[14:33] KANJI
    And marry Tsukishiro Mina...
[14:37] ALIEN
    Marry... marry...
[14:42] KANJI
    I won't do it.
[14:43] ALIEN
    What?
[14:46] KANJI
    The astral major league is played
    on planets other than Earth, right?
[14:50] KANJI
    I wouldn't be able to eat Nakoru's
    mini hamburgers anymore.
[14:54] ALIEN
    Mini hamburgers?
[14:56] KANJI
    Yeah. I won't do it.
[14:57] KANJI
    Could you send me back to where you found me?
[15:00] ALIEN
    No. We need your dirty pitch.
[15:03] KANJI
    What are you doing? Stop!
[15:07] NAKORU
    Onii-chan?
[15:08] BABY
    That's an Abductionite.
[15:10] TSUKISHIRO
    Get your hands off Kanji, Abductionite!
[15:14] ALIEN
    My dream team, drive off the intruders!
[15:21] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? Yikes!
[15:25] TSUKISHIRO
    They're just ordinary people being controlled.
[15:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Is running from them my only option?
[15:30] ALIEN
    Now sign the contract.
[15:31] KANJI
    Stop!
[15:33] ALIEN
    Then we can control you, too.
[15:36] NAKORU
    Onii-chan!
[15:37] NAKORU
    You little...
[15:39] ALIEN
    Back off!
[15:42] NAKORU
    No! Don't touch my brother!
[15:47] NAKORU
    Ouch...
[15:54] NAKORU
    Jujitsu.
[15:59] NARRATION
    The mini tomato she consumed
    contains an abundance of lycopene.
[16:03] NARRATION
    The active oxygen in her body is removed,
    and her cells are regenerated
[16:07] NARRATION
    as Hazemi Nakoru completes
    her Jujitsu transformation
[16:09] NARRATION
    into Minazuki Mina of the Rabbit Force.
[16:16] NAKORU
    Hi-yah!
[16:18] NARRATION
    Mina's weapon is launched from the Rabbit
    Force base secretly constructed on the moon.
[16:26] NARRATION
    The red-shift gravity catapult's super
    acceleration allows the weapon
[16:31] NARRATION
    to reach Earth in an average
    time of 14.7 seconds.
SIGN    Eight
SIGN    Rabbit
SIGN    Jujitsu Sequence In Progress
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
SIGN    Running
[17:42] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan!
[17:44] MINAZUKI
    What's going on?
[17:45] BABY
    Ah, Minazuki Mina.
[17:47] MINAZUKI
    What? I'm Minazuki Mina?
[17:50] KANJI
    Stop!
[17:52] MINAZUKI
    I need to save my brother.
[17:54] MINAZUKI
    Darn you!
[17:56] ALIEN
    Damn you, Minas!
[17:57] ALIEN
    I'll teleport you to the edges of the universe!
[18:00] KANJI
    Watch out, Mina!
[18:04] ALIEN
    What?
[18:19] ALIEN
    What kind of wimpy straight ball is this?
[18:20] ALIEN
    That's not a dirty pitch!
[18:22] KANJI
    Shut up!
[18:26] MINAZUKI
    Mini Tomato Boom Boom!
[18:42] TSUKISHIRO
    Huh? What?
[18:44] TSUKISHIRO
    I guess Tsukishiro Mina of the Rabbit Force
[18:47] TSUKISHIRO
    is placing you under arrest for violating
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention Policy.
[18:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Kapow.
[18:53] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan. Onii-chan.
[18:57] KANJI
    I don't know which Mina-san you are,
    but you're cuter than Tsukishiro Mina.
[19:04] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan.
[19:06] BABY
    Your mother was the previous Minazuki Mina.
[19:10] MINAZUKI
    My mom was?
[19:11] BABY
    She had you after retiring
    from the Rabbit Force.
[19:16] BABY
    Mina powers are passed down to their
    daughters, and the mother loses her power.
[19:21] BABY
    The previous Mina was being
    hunted down by vengeful aliens
[19:25] BABY
    and was forced to go into hiding.
[19:29] MINAZUKI
    So that's why Mom left me with
    my current dad and went far away.
[19:36] TSUKISHIRO
    Does that mean my mom was a Mina, too?
[19:40] TSUKISHIRO
    SpoLuna is starting.
[19:48] MINA
    I'm sorry!
[19:50] KATO D
    Tsukuda, we go live in three minutes!
[19:53] MINA
    Here. Tsukishiro Mina-san gave this to me.
[19:56] KATO D
    What?
[19:57] MINA
    It's exclusive video of Abductionites.
[20:01] KATO D
    Suzuki, we've got a new top story!
[20:04] AD SUZUKI
    Yes, sir!
[20:13] SUIREN
    This just in.
[20:16] SUIREN
    The recent major leaguer
    disappearances have been solved.
[20:27] NAKORU
    Sorry, Mom.
[20:29] NAKORU
    I'm going to keep living here
    even after I enter high school.
[20:33] NAKORU
    I love you, but I'm my brother's little sister.
[20:43] NAKORU
    You're hopeless.
[20:45] KANJI
    Mini hamburgers...
[20:50] NAKORU
    You're so hopeless. I'll make some right now.
[21:08] TSUKUDA
    My mom was the previous Tsukishiro Mina.
[21:10] TSUKUDA
    I find that hard to believe.
[21:13] MUTSUMUNE
    What? Why?
[21:16] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, we're the only ones
    covering the major leaguer kidnappings.
[21:21] AD SUZUKI
    They're giving us an award.
[21:23] KATO D
    Good! It was our shrewd actions
    that led to this triumph!
[21:27] TSUKUDA
    My, my.
[21:28] KATO D
    Cheers!
[21:28] ALL
    Cheers!
[21:30] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm not injured today!
[21:31] MUTSUMUNE
    Yes! Cheers!
[21:36] SHIRAHIME
    My, my.
[21:36] MINA
    Mutsumune-san!
[21:38] HAZUKI
    She's got it rough.
[21:39] KATO D
    Mucchi, are you okay?
[21:41] AD SUZUKI
    Call an ambulance!
[21:43] KATO D
    Seriously? What a pain in the rear.
[23:08] ALIEN
    Minas, I challenge you to ping pong.
[23:11] ALIEN
    If you lose, I will reveal
    your embarrassing secrets.
[23:15] OTSUKI
    You're a Rallyan, a race of
    ping pong-loving aliens.
[23:17] TSUKUDA
    He seems strong.
[23:19] YUU
    But who would accept your challenge
    after that elaborate scheme?
[23:23] TSUKUDA
    I'll do it.
[23:24] TSUKUDA
    I need to get back to Earth soon for work.
[23:26] MINA
    In that case, let me handle this.
[23:28] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "Deathmatch at One Thousand Kilometers."
[23:32] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, we might really be
    in trouble this time.
[23:36] TSUKUDA
    Yikes.

E9 - Thousand Kilometers

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:55] TSUKISHIRO
    Um, what should we do?
[02:00] OTSUKI
    Calm down. Let's see what they do first.
[02:03] MINAZUKI
    It's infuriating, though.
[02:06] TAMAMUSHI
    I'll kill them.
[02:09] SATSUKI
    I don't know who they are,
[02:11] SATSUKI
    but how long are they gonna
    keep us locked in here?
SIGN    #09 Deathmatch at One
     Thousand Kilometers
[02:20] KIRYU
    Did you get in touch with them?
[02:22] AD SUZUKI
    Not a peep. We can't run the show like this!
SIGN    Broadcast in 27 minutes
[02:27] TSUKISHIRO
    What are we going to do?
[02:29] TSUKISHIRO
    We got caught up something crazy again.
[02:32] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally.
[02:34] ALIEN
    Did you enjoy the gift,
    Minas currently operating in Japan?
[02:40] TAMAMUSHI
    So you're the one who sent that blackmail disc.
[02:43] SATSUKI
    Secretly filmin' people is dirty.
[02:46] OTSUKI
    Should you be saying that?
[02:48] SATSUKI
    It happened when I was on my way home after
    buyin' a copy of Monthly Weapons Magazine...
SIGN    Satsuki
[02:55] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Huh? What's this?
[02:58] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Could be an exclusive tip.
[03:02] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    I'm so excited.
SIGN    Behold all of Satsuki Mina's secrets
[03:07] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Huh?
[03:08] ALIEN
    Sanae Tsutsuji—or rather, Satsuki Mina.
[03:12] ALIEN
    Come to the following location right away.
[03:15] ALIEN
    If you don't, I'll expose your
    identity to the whole world.
[03:20] (Flashback) MINA
    You'll expose my identity...
[03:23] (Flashback) TAKANASHI
    To the whole world?
[03:27] (Flashback) NAKORU
    Did they send this to everyone else, too?
[03:30] OTSUKI
    Yeah. I got one, too.
[03:33] OTSUKI
    Like you, my only option was
    to be captured by this UFO.
[03:37] ALIEN
    Minas.
[03:40] ALIEN
    I've been wondering,
[03:43] ALIEN
    you fancy yourselves
    guardians of Earth's sports,
[03:46] ALIEN
    but how are your own sports abilities?
[03:51] OTSUKI
    You're a Rallyan.
[03:53] MINAZUKI
    You know what they are?
[03:55] OTSUKI
    Yeah. They're passionate ping pong fans.
[03:59] ALIEN
    Rally.
[04:01] ALIEN
    Minas, I challenge you to ping pong.
[04:05] ALIEN
    If you beat me, I'll release you
    and won't reveal your identities.
[04:09] OTSUKI
    Huh. I wonder what you're planning.
[04:13] ALIEN
    I genuinely wish to play against you.
[04:18] TAMAMUSHI
    Yeah, right. After putting in all this effort?
[04:21] TAMAMUSHI
    Who would accept your challenge?
[04:23] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll do it.
[04:25] TAMAMUSHI
    What?
[04:26] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro?
[04:26] TSUKISHIRO
    We just have to win, right?
[04:29] TSUKISHIRO
    Let's get started.
[04:31] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm in a hurry.
[04:33] TSUKISHIRO
    I need to get back to Earth soon for work.
[04:37] OTSUKI
    Fine. We accept your challenge.
[04:40] OTSUKI
    But you'd better keep your word.
[04:43] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san.
[04:46] OTSUKI
    Try to calm down.
[04:47] OTSUKI
    Let's settle this quickly.
[04:50] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay.
[04:52] TAMAMUSHI
    Are you two stupid?
[04:55] SATSUKI
    All right! In that case, let me handle this.
[04:59] SATSUKI
    As a paparazza, I gotta make them
    pay for secretly filming me.
[05:05] AD SUZUKI
    We're dealing with an emergency situation.
[05:07] AD SUZUKI
    It'd be great if you could fill in for us.
[05:09] MUTSUMUNE
    Roger that. I'll be right there.
[05:14] MUTSUMUNE
    Finally, the day has come for me
    to make my SpoLuna debut!
[05:19] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm a bit disappointed
    Suiren-san is out as well,
[05:23] MUTSUMUNE
    but my time begins today.
[05:29] MUTSUMUNE
    What?!
[05:30] MUTSUMUNE
    What is this? I'm dealing
    with an emergency here!
[05:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Get out of the way! Move it!
SIGN    Broadcast in 24 minutes
[05:40] MINAZUKI
    Satsuki-senpai, good luck.
[05:45] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm sorry I lost my composure earlier, but...
[05:51] OTSUKI
    Tell me.
[05:53] TSUKISHIRO
    Lately, my announcer job hasn't been going well.
[05:59] TSUKISHIRO
    Alien incidents have been on the rise recently.
[06:03] TSUKISHIRO
    Because of that, I've been
    getting more Mina work.
[06:06] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm nearly late to the studio every day,
[06:09] TSUKISHIRO
    and I space out during the show
    because I'm so tired.
[06:14] TSUKISHIRO
    Will I be able to keep working as an announcer?
[06:21] OTSUKI
    I was just thinking about the past.
[06:24] OTSUKI
    I was just like you when I was starting out.
[06:27] TSUKISHIRO
    You, too?
[06:29] TSUKISHIRO
    Come to think of it, what do you do normally?
[06:34] OTSUKI
    What? Well, uh...
[06:37] OTSUKI
    Satsuki.
[06:41] SATSUKI
    That's odd. The ping pong ball
    looks awfully large.
[06:47] ALIEN
    This is a pretty long rally, Satsuki Mina-kun.
[06:51] SATSUKI
    This voice...
[06:52] ALIEN
    It's telepathy.
[06:54] ALIEN
    You're the rogue Mina.
[06:56] ALIEN
    Rumors say you defied your boss
    and chose to quit the Rabbit Force.
[07:01] SATSUKI
    Shut up. I've got a huge dream.
[07:06] SATSUKI
    Someday, I'll publish the world's
    sexiest collection of photos.
[07:18] SATSUKI
    So bold, so good.
[07:22] ALIEN
    Rally.
[07:23] ALIEN
    Satsuki Mina, face the facts.
[07:32] ALIEN
    You are a rogue Mina.
[07:34] ALIEN
    You'll die poor and alone in
    a run-down apartment, rally.
[07:39] SATSUKI
    No!
[07:42] TSUKISHIRO
    Satsuki-san?
[07:48] OTSUKI
    Satsuki!
[07:52] OTSUKI
    Hey, Satsuki.
[07:53] TSUKISHIRO
    Satsuki-san.
[07:53] MINAZUKI
    Senpai.
[07:55] ALIEN
    Rally!
[07:56] ALIEN
    That's one victory for me!
[07:58] SATSUKI
    Money... money... rogue... money...
[08:06] TAMAMUSHI
    I see now.
SIGN    Hypnotic Suggestion Device
[08:13] TAMAMUSHI
    Take a look at this.
[08:14] OTSUKI
    What is this?
[08:16] TAMAMUSHI
    It's a Rallyan's mental attack
    disguised as a game of ping pong.
[08:20] TAMAMUSHI
    As their opponent watches the ping pong
    ball monotonously bounce back and forth...
[08:26] OTSUKI
    I see. They're hypnotized
    and end up like Satsuki.
[08:31] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally.
[08:33] ALIEN
    Minas, face the grudges
    of the aliens you've arrested.
[08:38] ALIEN
    You'll suffer in prisons of your own
    minds for the rest of your lives.
[08:43] TAMAMUSHI
    You scumbag.
[08:45] TAMAMUSHI
    I'll face you next.
SIGN    Broadcast in 19 minutes
[08:49] KATO D
    What? Now Mucchi's missing, too?
[08:52] KATO D
    You can't be serious! Do something!
[08:55] ONOUE
    Kato-kun.
[08:56] KATO D
    Yes?
[08:58] ONOUE
    Believe in them and wait.
[08:59] ONOUE
    That's all I can say for now.
[09:02] SATSUKI
    Money... money... rogue... money...
[09:06] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tamamushi-senpai.
[09:11] ALIEN
    Rally.
[09:13] ALIEN
    Making small quick adjustments
    to your posture mid-air
[09:16] ALIEN
    must diminish your focus considerably.
[09:18] TAMAMUSHI
    Shut up.
[09:20] ALIEN
    How long will your mind last?
[09:24] ALIEN
    Tamamushi Mina, people will only fuss
    over you while you're still a child actor.
[09:28] ALIEN
    Once you become an adult,
    no one will even look your way.
[09:32] ALIEN
    Study hard while you're young,
    for life is short.
[09:35] ALIEN
    You shouldn't be wasting
    your time on being a Mina.
[09:46] ALIEN
    Rally! That's two wins in a row!
[09:49] TSUKISHIRO
    Tamamushi-chan.
[09:51] TAMAMUSHI
    Child actor... adult... finished...
[09:54] TAMAMUSHI
    Child actor... adult... finished...
[09:54] TSUKISHIRO
    What? Child actor?
[09:57] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro-kun.
[09:59] OTSUKI
    You're not the only one.
[10:01] OTSUKI
    Looks like Satsuki and Tamamushi
    have their own worries, too.
[10:06] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san...
[10:08] OTSUKI
    But I'll make them pay
    for exploiting girls' weaknesses.
[10:13] OTSUKI
    I'll crush them.
[10:15] MINAZUKI
    Wait.
[10:18] MINAZUKI
    I'll do it.
[10:19] OTSUKI
    But you're still new.
[10:21] MINAZUKI
    Don't give me special treatment
    just because I'm new.
[10:25] MINAZUKI
    I can't forgive what that
    evil rabbit has done either.
[10:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako—I mean, Minazuki Mina-chan,
    I don't think you should.
[10:34] MINAZUKI
    Don't worry about me, Tsukishiro-san.
[10:36] MINAUZKI
    Despite how I seem, I'm actually
    exceptionally good at ping pong.
[10:41] TSUKISHIRO
    But...
[10:43] OTSUKI
    Fine, but you'd better beat them soundly.
[10:47] MINAZUKI
    I will.
[10:49] ALIEN
    Rally! You brother-lover!
[10:53] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan!
[11:01] MINAZUKI
    Go, go, Kanji...
[11:05] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tsukishima...
[11:07] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako.
[11:10] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll be your next opponent.
[11:13] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[11:15] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san, thank you
    for listening to me earlier.
[11:20] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll do my best.
[11:24] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[11:25] TSUKISHIRO
    I promise I'll save the others,
[11:28] TSUKISHIRO
    and I swear I'll make it to
    the SpoLuna broadcast on time.
[11:32] ALIEN
    Rally. Are you sure about that?
SIGN    Broadcast in 14 minutes
[11:49] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't be beat.
[11:50] MUTSUMUNE
    Nothing will stop me
    from arriving at the station.
[11:59] SATSUKI
    Rogue... money...
[12:00] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tsukishima...
SIGN    Broadcast in 13 minutes
[12:06] TSUKISHIRO
    He's strong.
[12:07] ALIEN
    You talked some big talk earlier,
[12:11] ALIEN
    but SpoLuna is about to start.
[12:14] ALIEN
    Tsukishiro Mina—or rather, Tsukuda Mina.
[12:17] ALIEN
    What's more important to you? Your mission
    as Mina or your announcer job?
[12:22] TSUKISHIRO
    Both.
[12:23] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, don't listen to him.
[12:26] ALIEN
    That's bold of you to say.
[12:28] ALIEN
    The viewers haven't been missing
    your recent screw ups.
[12:32] ALIEN
    Chase two rabbits, and you won't catch either.
[12:35] ALIEN
    Today you'll be fired from SpoLuna.
[12:38] ALIEN
    Tsukuda Mina the announcer
    is already finished, rally!
[12:44] TSUKISHIRO
    No!
[12:48] MINA
    No! I don't want to stop
    working as an announcer...
[12:53] SUIREN
    You worked hard until the end.
[12:57] MINA
    Suiren-san...
[13:03] MINA
    Is it really impossible to be Mina
    and an announcer at the same time?
[13:07] MINA
    I won't make it to the broadcast
    in time anymore.
[13:10] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, stand up!
[13:12] OTSUKI
    Don't give up now!
[13:14] OTSUKI
    You've got an important job waiting for you!
[13:18] TSUKISHIRO
    That's right. I can't fall here.
[13:23] TSUKISHIRO
    Everyone at SpoLuna...
[13:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Suiren-san is waiting for me.
[13:31] ALIEN
    What, rally?
[13:36] ALIEN
    Rally? Rally, rally.
[13:39] ALIEN
    How dare you scare me like that, rally.
[13:41] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[13:44] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[13:48] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[13:50] ALIEN
    Otsuki Mina, you're the last one.
[13:52] ALIEN
    Will you give up and surrender?
[13:55] ALIEN
    If you abandon the match,
    I'll expose your identities to the whole—
[13:58] OTSUKI
    There's no time. Let's get started.
[14:01] AD SUZUKI
    What? Seriously?
[14:03] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, I got a call from a police box.
[14:06] AD SUZUKI
    They found Suiren-san's
    motorcycle on the beach.
[14:08] AD SUZUKI
    Something might have happened to her.
[14:12] KATO D
    What?
[14:16] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[14:19] ALIEN
    Rally.
[14:20] ALIEN
    Does your heart ache for them?
[14:23] ALIEN
    There's no way they can all live two lives.
[14:28] ALIEN
    But you manipulated Tsukishiro with your words.
[14:30] OTSUKI
    I struggled with it at first, too.
[14:34] OTSUKI
    Like Tsukuda, I was caught between
    being Mina and an announcer.
[14:40] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san?
[14:43] OTSUKI
    But I took on the fate of being a Mina,
[14:46] OTSUKI
    so I have to work hard at both.
[14:48] ALIEN
    Rally?
[14:49] ALIEN
    Otsuki Mina, what's more important to you?
    Your mission as Mina, or your announcer job?
[14:53] OTSUKI
    Both being Mina and being an announcer
    are important parts of who I am.
[14:59] OTSUKI
    No matter how hard it gets,
    I won't let go of either.
[15:03] TSUKISHIRO
    An announcer?
[15:05] OTSUKI
    I'll make sure Tsukishiro—
    that Tsukuda makes it back to SpoLuna.
[15:09] OTSUKI
    We don't give up on our dreams or jobs.
[15:11] OTSUKI
    That's what it means to be a Mina!
[15:15] OTSUKI
    Here we go!
[15:22] ALIEN
    I lost, rally!
[15:37] SATSUKI
    Huh? What was I doin'?
[15:42] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, are you okay?
[15:45] TSUKISHIRO
    Yes. Um...
[15:48] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm sorry. I made all those bold claims, but...
[15:54] OTSUKI
    What are you talking about?
[15:56] OTSUKI
    You worked hard until the end.
[16:01] TSUKISHIRO
    Could it be?
[16:03] ALIEN
    Impossible! There's no way I lost at ping pong!
[16:09] ALIEN
    I'll hijack all the airwaves in the world!
[16:22] OTSUKI
    What are you doing?
[16:22] ALIEN
    Watch idly as I expose your identities!
[16:28] WOMAN
    Good boys and girls, it's time
    for the goodbye LunaLuna exercise.
[16:33] WOMAN
    Luna, Luna. Nalu, Nalu. Luna, Luna, Lu.
[16:36] WOMAN
    Raise your left hand and Luna, Luna, Luna.
[16:39] WOMAN
    Raise your right hand and—
[16:42] HAIBARA
    I am Pyokotan.
[16:44] HAIBARA
    I am Pyokotan.
[16:45] HAIBARA
    I am Pyoko—
[16:47] TSUKISHIRO
    This isn't good.
[16:48] TSUKISHIRO
    Once this show ends, SpoLuna is up next.
[16:51] ALIEN
    Rally? Why aren't my secret videos playing?
SIGN    One Moment Please
[16:55] BABY
    Don't worry, Minas.
[16:58] BABY
    I've erased all the videos they secretly took.
[17:01] BABY
    Because you bought time playing ping pong,
    I was able to hack the UFO's computer.
[17:08] ALIEN
    Rally...
[17:12] OTSUKI
    You'll pay for everything
    you did to my juniors.
[17:17] OTUSKI
    But there's something
    that doesn't make sense to me.
[17:20] OTSUKI
    Rallyan, your kind are simply
    good at ping pong.
[17:25] OTSUKI
    You're not particularly intellectual aliens.
[17:27] TAMAMUSHI
    I see, and yet you employed
    an elaborate scheme regardless.
[17:32] TAMAMUSHI
    Is there perhaps a mastermind behind you?
[17:35] TSUKISHIRO
    We can talk about this later.
[17:37] TSUKISHIRO
    Send us back to Earth right now.
[17:40] ALIEN
    Rally!
[17:45] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro!
[17:47] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally!
[17:49] ALIEN
    R-Rally?
[17:51] SATSUKI
    How dare you.
[17:53] MINAZUKI
    Prepare yourself.
[17:55] TAMAMUSHI
    Just die already.
[17:57] ALIEN
    Rally...
[18:01] TAMAMUSHI
    Die!
[18:02] BABY
    Now, now. You're taking things
    too far with all this violence.
[18:06] SATSUKI
    Noogie, noogie.
[18:10] BABY
    Oh my god.
[18:16] SATSUKI
    This is really bad.
[18:23] ALIEN
    Rally!
[18:27] MINAZUMI
    Where are we?
[18:28] TAMAMUSHI
    Nanashi must've teleported us here.
[18:31] SATSUKI
    Huh? Where are Tsukishiro and Otsuki-han?
[18:35] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, wake up.
[18:38] BABY
    This is bad. Otsuki and Tsukishiro,
    get out of that UFO quickly.
[18:42] BABY
    If you stay in there, it won't be
    possible for you to teleport—
[18:47] OTSUKI
    This can't be good. You mean
    we have to figure it out ourselves?
[18:53] MUTSUMUNE
    What the heck is this?
[18:58] OTSUKI
    You're awake.
[19:02] TSUKISHIRO
    Did you protect me?
[19:05] OTSUKI
    The surface of our suits have
    exceeded maximum safe temperatures.
[19:08] OTSUKI
    We might really be in trouble this time.
[19:15] OTSUKI
    Are you scared?
[19:17] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm fine. I'm not scared.
[19:20] TSUKISHIRO
    After all, Otsuki-san...
[19:23] TSUKISHIRO
    Suiren-san, I'm with you.
[19:30] OTSUKI
    What was that? I didn't hear you.
[19:33] OTSUKI
    The wind's too loud.
[19:39] OTSUKI
    Let's head home. The others...
[19:42] OTSUKI
    Luna TV is waiting for us.
[19:45] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay.
SIGN    Broadcast in 50 seconds
[19:53] AD SUZUKI
    We're screwed! We won't make it in time!
[19:55] AD SUZUKI
    What should we do, Kiryu-san?
[19:58] KIRYU
    Now, now. I'll fill the air somehow.
[20:02] KOZAI
    Thanks for waiting.
[20:07] AD SUZUKI
    Kozai...
[20:09] KOZAI
    Now that I'm here,
    there's nothing to worry about.
[20:12] AD SUZUKI
    But who called you?
[20:14] KATO D
    I did.
[20:16] KATO D
    Kozai's always so beautiful.
[20:21] KIRYU
    Thank you for coming.
[20:24] KOZAI
    Thanks for having me.
[20:25] KIRYU
    Right.
[20:27] AD SUZUKI
    We're going live in ten,
[20:31] AD SUZUKI
    eight, seven,
[20:33] AD SUZUKI
    six, five,
[20:35] AD SUZUKI
    four, three.
[20:36] SUIREN
    Kozai-san, excuse me.
[20:38] MINA
    This is the script, right?
[20:38] KOZAI
    Hey.
[20:40] SUIREN
    Good evening. I'm Koshu Suiren.
[20:43] KIRYU
    I'm Kiryu Daisuke.
[20:45] MINA
    And I'm Tsukuda Mina.
[20:47] MUTSUMUNE
    What? Where am I?
[20:49] WOMAN
    Oh, my. You're alive?
[20:51] MUTSUMUNE
    SpoLuna!
[20:52] MUTSUMUNE
    What about the SpoLuna broadcast?
[20:54] WOMAN
    It's already started.
[20:56] MUTSUMUNE
    Huh? What?
[20:57] KATO D
    This is unprecedented!
[20:59] KATO D
    Where in the world have they been?
[21:03] ONOUE
    But their bond has deepened.
[21:05] KATO D
    What?
[21:06] ONOUE
    It's a good thing.
[21:08] ONOUE
    Tonight, we'll celebrate in Giroppon as equals.
[21:11] ONOUE
    Soft drinks for Tsukuda, of course.
[21:16] YOSHIMI
    Excuse me.
[21:17] YOSHIMI
    I heard SpoLuna are regulars here.
[21:20] YOSHIMI
    Do you think they'll be arriving soon?
[21:25] YOSHIMI
    Huh? Will Tsukuda be coming?
[21:33] SUMIRE
    That Rallyan screwed the pooch.
[21:38] SUMIRE
    Earth's Minas did a fine job.
[21:42] SUMIRE
    But today was a test.
[23:08] SUMIRE
    Thanks for waiting, Tsukuda-san.
[23:09] SUMIRE
    I'm magazine reporter Nishiwa Sumire.
[23:11] SUMIRE
    I'm looking forward to working with you today.
[23:12] TSUKUDA
    So am I.
[23:14] SUMIRE
    By the way, what's up with Otsuki Mina?
[23:16] SUMIRE
    She's a total savage
    and destroyer of sports facilities.
[23:19] SUMIRE
    Wouldn't it be better for
    the world if she were fired?
[23:22] TSUKUDA
    No way. Otsuki-san is a wonderful person.
[23:24] SUMIRE
    Is that right? Come with me.
[23:27] TSUKUDA
    What?
[23:28] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "I Came From Space."
[23:32] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san, no matter what happens,
    you must keep being an announcer.
[23:35] TSUKUDA
    Oh, Suiren-senpai...

E10 - I Came From Space

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #10 I Came From Space
[02:03] TSUKISHIRO
    Run, everyone!
[02:07] MAN
    It's Tsukishiro Mina.
[02:17] ALIEN
    What do you think of this special big wave?
[02:20] ALIEN
    I'm this summer's star.
[02:22] OTSUKI
    I don't think so.
[02:24] OTSUKI
    Milian, I'm arresting you for violating
    the Astral Civilization Non-intervention Policy.
[02:33] OTSUKI
    Go!
[02:38] ALIEN
    My giant tsunami generator!
[02:44] OTSUKI
    Aw, crud.
[02:47] OTSUKI
    Well, whatever. Everyone's been evacuated.
[02:56] OTSUKI
    Go, go, go!
[03:06] OTSUKI
    Ow...
[03:08] OTSUKI
    I'm sorry. Are you okay?
[03:10] AD SUZUKI
    I, uh...
[03:15] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san...
[03:18] OTSUKI
    We'll meet again.
[03:24] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san.
SIGN    Otsuki
    Mina
    destroys
    public
    property
    again
SIGN    Tsukishiro Mina apologizes
[03:29] AD SUZUKI
    I wonder if she has a boyfriend.
[03:31] KATO D
    Sheesh. Everyone's been mesmerized
    by that damn rabbit.
[03:36] KATO D
    Because of Otsuki Mina
    Japan's sports facilities...
[03:38] KATO D
    are an absolute wreck!
SIGN    Tsukumi-cho Gymnasium
[03:47] AD SUZUKI
    I've heard her popularity has declined.
[03:54] AD SUZUKI
    Hello?
[03:56] AD SUZUKI
    What? Zatsudansha Publishing?
[03:59] SUIREN
    Athletes, thank you for another
    fine performance today.
[04:03] SUIREN
    We hope you'll do your best again tomorrow.
SIGN    See you tomorrow
[04:09] AD SUZUKI
    Okay, good.
[04:17] TSUKUDA
    It feels so strange.
[04:17] AD SUZUKI
    Good work today.
[04:18] SUIREN
    Good work.
[04:19] TSUKUDA
    I can't believe this person is Otsuki Mina.
[04:20] KIRYU
    Oh, right. Suzuki-san.
[04:21] AD SUZUKI
    Yes?
[04:24] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san, do you have the scripts
    for next week's mini segments?
[04:28] TSUKUDA
    Yes. They're right here.
[04:32] SUIREN
    Huh.
[04:35] TSUKUDA
    Well, see you again tomorrow.
[04:38] TSUKUDA
    Good night.
[04:40] SUIREN
    Good night.
[04:43] KIRYU
    Tsukuda has grown, hasn't she?
[04:46] SUIREN
    She still has a lot to learn.
[04:48] SUIREN
    Look. She got the kanji wrong.
[04:51] TSUKUDA
    The rabbit hippity-hops three hops. In total...
[04:53] AD SUZUKI
    Tsukuda-chan!
[04:56] AD SUZUKI
    I'm really sorry,
[04:59] AD SUZUKI
    but would you do an interview with a magazine
    before coming to the studio tomorrow?
[05:03] TSUKUDA
    What? But we have
    an important broadcast that day.
[05:06] TSUKUDA
    If I'm late...
[05:08] AD SUZUKI
    But you don't go on until the evening.
[05:11] AD SUZUKI
    Could you do the interview
    real quick beforehand?
[05:17] TSUKUDA
    So, where am I doing it?
[05:23] SUIREN
    I did it again.
[05:26] KIRYU
    Hey.
[05:28] KIRYU
    The usual, please.
[05:31] KIRYU
    Hey, it's Otsuki Mina.
[05:33] SUIREN
    You like her?
[05:34] KIRYU
    I like her cleavage.
[05:36] SUIREN
    Pervy old man.
[05:38] KIRYU
    I don't dislike impish women,
    but I bet dating her would be a challenge.
[05:45] KIRYU
    So, what's on your mind?
[05:50] KIRYU
    You're always like this.
[05:53] KIRYU
    You don't talk to me about anything.
[05:55] KIRYU
    I know you're a strong person,
    but maybe you could share...
[06:00] KIRYU
    Suiren.
[06:01] SUIREN
    I thought you didn't like impish women.
[06:03] KIRYU
    Hey.
[06:04] SUIREN
    Thanks for the drink.
[06:05] KIRYU
    Wait.
[06:07] BARTENDER
    Why don't you have some tea, sir?
[06:13] BABY
    Otsuki, I can't believe you!
[06:15] SUIREN
    I know. I'm sorry.
[06:17] SUIREN
    But I can't stop myself when I become Mina.
[06:20] BABY
    Imagine what it's like to support you.
[06:24] BABY
    At least you have the top arrest rate.
[06:27] SUIREN
    Am I really that uncute?
[06:31] BABY
    What are you...?
[06:34] SUIREN
    Not that you liking me does me any good.
[06:39] SUMIRE
    I'm finally here.
[06:41] SUMIRE
    So this is the Harajuku
    I've heard so much about.
[06:44] SUMIRE
    These humans are clamoring about
    like ants gathering around sugar.
[06:49] TSUKUDA
    I remember that idol.
[06:51] TSUKUDA
    Anyway, I wonder where the interviewer is.
[06:55] TSUKUDA
    If they don't show up soon,
    I'll be late to the studio.
[06:58] SUMIRE
    Thanks for waiting. You're Tsukuda-san, right?
[07:00] TSUKUDA
    Who are you?
[07:02] SUMIRE
    Magazine reporter, uh... Nishiwa Sumire.
[07:07] SUMIRE
    Nice to meet you.
[07:10] TSUKUDA
    What? You're the reporter?
[07:14] SUMIRE
    Don't just stand there.
    We've got an interview to do.
[07:17] SUMIRE
    There are tons of places I want to go.
[07:19] TSUKUDA
    Wait!
[07:30] TSUKUDA
    Um, Ms. Reporter?
[07:33] TSUKUDA
    What exactly are you reporting on?
[07:35] SUMIRE
    What? Uh, your day off.
[07:38] SUMIRE
    The article is called "Touring Harajuku
    on Announcer Tsukuda's Day Off."
[07:42] TSUKUDA
    I see.
SIGN    Best Friends
[07:47] SUMIRE
    Huh?
[07:54] SUMIRE
    Otsuki...
[07:59] SUMIRE
    Tsukuda-san, you frequently meet
    the Minas through work, don't you?
[08:04] TSUKUDA
    What? Yes, I suppose.
[08:06] SUMIRE
    What's up with Otsuki Mina?
[08:08] SUMIRE
    Is she really a super violent savage?
[08:10] TSUKUDA
    Of course not.
    Otsuki-san is a wonderful person.
[08:14] TSUKUDA
    Sometimes she goes too far,
    but I still don't even compare to her.
[08:20] TSUKUDA
    ...Is what Tsukishiro Mina said.
[08:23] SUMIRE
    Uh huh.
[08:25] SUMIRE
    But she's destroyed
    tons of sports facilities, right?
[08:28] SUMIRE
    What's your opinion on that?
[08:31] TSUKUDA
    Well...
[08:32] SUMIRE
    Normally she'd be fired.
[08:34] SUMIRE
    I guess we'd be fine. Japan has other Minas.
[08:38] TSUKUDA
    We can't fire her.
[08:40] SUMIRE
    I see. So you're taking
    Otsuki's side after all.
[08:42] TSUKUDA
    What?
[08:44] SUMIRE
    Come with me.
[08:51] MAN
    What are those?
[08:53] WOMAN
    Aliens?
[08:55] TSUKUDA
    What is that?
[09:11] REF
    The winner is Muscle Mask!
[09:17] SUIREN
    Who will claim the top spot
    as the world's best martial artist?
[09:20] SUIREN
    BattLuna King has already
    completed its third match.
[09:24] COMMENTATOR
    That was an impressive fight.
[09:26] IDOL
    I'm so excited.
[09:29] SUIREN
    Let's switch over to the next competitors.
[09:33] SUIREN
    Reporter Mutsumune-san.
[09:34] MISTER SUNSET
    One, two, three, four.
[09:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Hello. In the red corner
    is a very pumped up Mister Sunset.
[09:39] MISTER SUNSET
    I'm all pumped up.
[09:41] KIRYU
    I see. Looking good.
[09:41] MISTER SUNSET
    By the way, Mucchi-san,
    do you like guys like me?
[09:44] MUTSUMUNE
    Of course I do.
[09:44] AD SUZUKI
    Maybe Tsukuda-chan's interview is running long.
[09:45] MUTSUMUNE
    I love fighting men.
[09:47] AD SUZUKI
    I need her to swap in for Mucchi-san soon.
[09:47] MISTER SUNSET
    Then maybe I'll dedicate today's battle to you.
[09:50] MUTSUMUNE
    Really? Thank you.
[09:53] MUTSUMUNE
    Don't you dare show up, Tsukudani.
[09:56] MUTSUMUNE
    I may only be filling time until you
    get here, but I finally seized this job.
[09:59] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't hand it over so easily.
[10:02] MUTSUMUNE
    What is that?
[10:04] ALIEN
    Lucha!
[10:10] ALIEN
    The Luchachites have taken over this arena!
[10:14] ALIEN
    Lucha! Lucha! Lucha!
[10:16] ALIEN
    Best martial artist in the world?
[10:19] ALIEN
    We'll show you our strength.
[10:22] SUIREN
    Stop what you're doing.
[10:23] ALIEN
    Lucha?
[10:25] ALIEN
    Lucha.
[10:28] ALIEN
    Luchacha Style!
[10:32] IDOL
    My D-cups!
[10:35] MUTSUMUNE
    Suiren-san?
[10:38] KIRYU
    You jerks.
[10:40] ALIEN
    Lucha, lucha!
[10:41] KIRYU
    Hey! Cut that out!
[10:42] MUTSUMUNE
    What should I do?
[10:44] OTSUKI
    Enough!
[10:48] OTSUKI
    Luchachites, you're all under arrest!
[10:58] TSUKUDA
    Who are you?
[11:00] SUMIRE
    Now, now. Have a seat.
[11:03] SUMIRE
    Do you want soda or some other soft drink?
[11:05] TSUKUDA
    You lied about being a reporter.
[11:06] TSUKUDA
    You're an alien, aren't you?
[11:08] TSUKUDA
    What are you planning?
[11:09] SUMIRE
    Oh, shut up.
[11:11] SUMIRE
    Let me ask you this.
[11:13] SUMIRE
    What do you know about the Rabbit Force?
[11:16] TSUKUDA
    What?
[11:19] SUMIRE
    I came all the way here for work, you know.
[11:23] SUMIRE
    Though I doubt you know anything about that.
[11:26] TSUKUDA
    Work?
[11:36] OTSUKI
    Stop!
[11:41] OTSUKI
    You jerks!
[11:46] OTSUKI
    Crud.
[11:58] MUTSUMUNE
    Otsuki Mina is on a wild rampage once again.
[12:00] MUTSUMUNE
    I narrowly escaped danger myself.
[12:02] PERSON 1
    Be careful! Watch it!
[12:05] PERSON 2
    We nearly got caught up in the fighting!
[12:08] OTSUKI
    Sorry.
[12:09] ALIEN
    That's enough, Otsuki Mina!
[12:11] ALIEN
    Lucha, cha, cha.
[12:13] ALIEN
    If you care about this earthling,
    then do as we say.
[12:18] KIRYU
    Don't worry about me.
[12:25] ALIEN
    I said don't move!
[12:30] ALIEN
    Prepare yourself, cha!
[12:33] ALIEN
    This might tingle.
[12:38] BABY
    Otsuki, why are you hesitating?
[12:40] BABY
    Arrest them.
[12:43] OTSUKI
    But...
[12:47] OTSUKI
    I could blast him, but if I'm
    not careful, then Kiryu-kun...
[12:52] OTSUKI
    I must pick one of two choices.
[12:54] OTSUKI
    I...
[12:56] (Flashback) OTSUKI
    You should seize everything you want.
[13:01] OTSUKI
    What should I do?
[13:05] TSUKUDA
    Don't!
[13:05] SUMIRE
    Whoa, there. Calm down.
[13:08] SUMIRE
    Since we have the opportunity,
    let's watch her work.
[13:11] SUMIRE
    Let's see if your senior can do
    her job as a Rabbit Force member.
[13:16] KIRYU
    Otsuki Mina, don't worry about me!
[13:19] KIRYU
    Hurry up and blast them!
[13:21] KIRYU
    Where's your spunky spirit?
[13:24] OTSUKI
    I... I'm not as strong as you think I am.
[13:31] OTSUKI
    I can't abandon you.
[13:41] OTSUKI
    No!
[13:42] ALIEN
    This ends now.
[13:49] ALIEN
    Lucha-cha-cha?
[14:12] KIRYU
    Impossible...
[14:13] KATO D
    Suiren?
[14:15] NAKORU
    She's Otsuki Mina?
[14:19] TSUTSUJI
    This is gonna be huge.
[14:25] MUTSUMUNE
    Suiren-san.
[14:37] SUIREN
    This is who I really am.
[14:45] KIRYU
    Why didn't you tell me?
[14:50] KIRYU
    Did you really trust me so little?
[14:54] SUIREN
    Kiryu-kun...
[14:56] KIRYU
    I'm sorry. I don't want to hear it right now.
[15:12] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai...
[15:14] SUMIRE
    Oh, come on.
[15:16] SUMIRE
    She failed to arrest them, and
    her identity was revealed to the earthlings.
[15:20] SUMIRE
    What a hopeless old lady.
[15:28] SUMIRE
    This is a space sweet potato.
[15:31] SUMIRE
    It contains a hundred times
    more fiber than one of Earth's.
[15:35] SUMIRE
    Anyway, why is my transformation vegetable
    a potato when I'm so hip with the times?
[15:42] YAYOI
    Because you cannot choose it yourself.
[15:47] TSUKUDA
    Transformation? Could it be?
[15:53] SUMIRE
    Jujitsu.
[15:58] NARRATION
    Fake magazine reporter
    Nishiwa Sumire is actually
[16:02] NARRATION
    a Rabbit Force inspector from
    the Mina Planet thousands of light years away.
[16:10] NARRATION
    Her name is Shiwasu Mina.
[16:12] NARRATION
    She's a super famous rich girl Mina.
[16:35] ALIEN
    Who are you?
[16:43] ALIEN
    What is this music?
[16:45] ALIEN
    The ring belongs to men!
[17:01] FAN 1
    Sexy and cute!
[17:02] FAN 2
    She's so sexy and cute!
[17:21] SHIWASU
    Luchachites, I see exactly
    how lovely and tough you are.
[17:27] ALIEN
    Really?
[17:29] SHIWASU
    Yes, so I have a suggestion.
[17:33] SHIWASU
    I'm thinking of spending my allowance
    on a present for your star system.
[17:41] SHIWASU
    I call it the Lucha-cha Colosseum.
[17:45] SHIWASU
    With this, you can enjoy space
    martial arts as much as you want.
[17:49] ALIEN
    Perhaps that would be better.
[17:52] ALIEN
    We've never experienced
    anything so incredible in our lives.
[17:56] ALIEN
    Thank you, Shiwasu Mina.
[18:01] SHIWASU
    As a Main Rabbit Force member,
    I'll overlook this policy violation.
[18:08] TSUKUDA
    Shiwasu Mina?
[18:11] TSUKUDA
    What's the Main Rabbit Force?
[18:14] YAYOI
    It's a force based out the Mina home planet.
[18:17] YAYOI
    Lady Shiwasu leads one such company.
[18:23] SHIWASU
    Listen up, everyone.
[18:25] SHIWASU
    I am Shiwasu Mina, a Rabbit Force inspector
    from the very distant Mina Planet.
[18:33] SHIWASU
    I am here to accuse Otsuki Mina.
[18:36] SHIWASU
    People of Earth, Otsuki has been fooling you.
[18:42] SHIWASU
    Look at this insane expression.
[18:45] SHIWASU
    She's not fighting to protect you.
[18:48] SHIWASU
    She's just going on violent
    rampages because she enjoys it.
[18:53] SHIWASU
    She breaks all kinds of things.
[18:55] SHIWASU
    She put some of you in danger just now.
[18:59] SHIWASU
    Don't you think Otsuki is terrible?
[19:03] FAN 3
    Yeah! Otsuki sucks!
[19:06] FAN 4
    She fooled us!
[19:08] FAN 5
    I don't care about her anymore!
[19:09] FAN 5
    From now on, it's Shiwasu-chan time!
[19:11] SHIWASU
    Thank you, everyone.
[19:13] SHIWASU
    I will reform this planet's Rabbit Force.
[19:17] SHIWASU
    I will drive out
    the violence-loving Otsuki Mina!
[19:22] SHIWASU
    Say it with me!
[19:24] SHIWASU
    No more!
[19:25] ALL
    Violence!
[19:26] SHIWASU
    No more!
[19:28] ALL
    Otsuki!
[19:29] SHIWASU
    Three, two, one!
[19:32] ALL
    Yeah!
[19:43] BABY
    Shiwasu Mina is the unruly daughter
    of an influential family on the home planet.
[19:49] BABY
    I won't make it out of this unscathed.
SIGN    Resignation
[20:11] AD SUZUKI
    She didn't have to quit.
[20:13] KATO D
    You idiot! She's been
    fooling us this whole time!
[20:17] KATO D
    How much violence do you think
    Otsuki Mina has caused?
[20:20] KATO D
    If we try to protect her, there's no telling
    what could happen to SpoLuna.
[20:28] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai!
[20:35] SUIREN
    Keep being an announcer,
    no matter what happens.
[20:39] TSUKUDA
    What?
[20:40] SUIREN
    You can make it without me now.
[20:44] TSUKUDA
    No, wait!
[20:50] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-san...
[20:58] SUMIRE
    Hey. That was rough, huh?
[21:00] SUMIRE
    I'm sure your ridiculous senior
    made you suffer, too.
[21:04] SUMIRE
    Otsuki was a problem
    on the Mina home planet, too.
[21:10] SUMIRE
    Hup.
[21:11] SUMIRE
    I'm putting together a No More Otsuki campaign.
[21:15] SUMIRE
    You'll help, right?
[21:17] TSUKUDA
    Why would I?
[21:19] SUMIRE
    I order you to as Earth's commanding
    member of the Rabbit Force.
[21:24] SUMIRE
    Nanashi has been demoted.
[21:26] SUMIRE
    He deserves it for letting
    Otsuki do as she pleased.
[21:33] SHIWASU
    I expect a positive response, soulmate.
[21:37] SHIWASU
    See you later.
[21:41] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-san, what should I do?
[23:08] SUMIRE
    I'll take total control of Earth's
    unique sports culture and totally protect it.
[23:13] KATO D
    If we broadcast this script criticizing
    Otsuki as written, SpoLuna will be saved!
[23:17] TSUKUDA
    What?
[23:18] KIRYU
    Not only did I get in her way, but I couldn't
    even accept her when she was hurt.
[23:22] TSUKUDA
    Kiryu-san.
[23:23] BABY
    Shiwasu is the commander now.
[23:25] BABY
    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
[23:27] TSUKUDA
    Nanashi.
[23:29] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "Last Announcement."
[23:32] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai, you mustn't give up.

E11 - Final Announcement

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    #11 Final Announcement
[01:57] SUMIRE
    Earthlings, good morning.
[02:01] SUMIRE
    I, Shiwasu Mina, will be replacing Otsuki Mina
[02:06] SUMIRE
    and taking over managing Earth's
    unique sports culture and, uh...
[02:14] YAYOI
    "Protecting."
[02:16] SUMIRE
    Yeah, I'll totally protect it.
[02:21] SUMIRE
    Anyway, what was it? Sportsmanship?
[02:24] SUMIRE
    Make sure you play with that.
[02:26] SUMIRE
    I love all of you.
[02:31] YOSHIMI
    See? Weird, right?
[02:33] YOSHIMI
    All Mina sites have been shut down
    and rewritten as Shiwasu Mina sites.
[02:38] KANJI
    Even your Tsukishiro Mina site?
[02:41] YOSHIMI
    That Shiwasu lady seems fishy to me.
[02:44] YOSHIMI
    At first I kind of liked her because
    she was a cute and sexy pacifist,
[02:50] YOSHIMI
    but her methods are kind of arrogant.
[02:53] HENCHMINA
    Rebel spotted.
[02:56] YOSHIMI
    I feel like we're under her control now.
[03:01] KANJI
    Yoshimi!
[03:04] KANJI
    Hey, are you okay?
[03:06] YOSHIMI
    Shiwasu-sama rules.
[03:09] YOSHIMI
    No more Otsuki! Welcome Shiwasu!
[03:14] YOSHIMI
    No more Otsuki! Welcome Shiwasu!
[03:14] KANJI
    Yoshimi has lost his mind.
[03:19] MOCHIMURA
    Is it true that announcer Suiren quit Luna TV?
[03:23] TSUKUDA
    Yeah.
[03:25] MOCHIMURA
    And now you're the main caster of SpoLuna.
[03:28] TSUKUDA
    Yeah.
SIGN    Getsuyuu
SIGN    Tsukudani
[03:31] TSUKUDA
    I am main caster Tsukuda Mina.
[03:34] TSUKUDA
    I'd like to start by apologizing
    on behalf of the program
[03:38] TSUKUDA
    for the scandal caused by Koshu
    Suiren, who quit last week.
[03:49] TSUKUDA
    I can't say this.
[03:52] TSUKUDA
    What would Suiren-senpai do?
[03:56] (Flashback) SUIREN
    Hey, you.
[03:58] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    Huh?
[04:00] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You worked hard until the end.
[04:08] (Flashback) SUIREN
    That looks painful. Hold on.
[04:13] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    Thank you.
[04:15] (Flashback) SUIREN
    Would it be all right if I interviewed you?
[04:18] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    Why? I'm the pitcher of the losing team.
[04:22] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    Nobody would watch a story about that.
[04:27] (Flashback) SUIREN
    You're right. When you consider
    ratings, maybe it's a dumb idea.
[04:33] (Flashback) SUIREN
    But even though you lost,
    you still gained something important.
[04:37] (Flashback) YOUNG TSUKUDA
    What?
[04:38] (Flashback) SUIREN
    And communicating that is
    an important part of my job, too.
[04:44] TSUKUDA
    I wanted to be like her.
[04:49] TAKURO
    Being trusted with the show
    can't be easy for Mina.
[04:53] TAKURO
    Maybe juggling both school and
    work is too much for her after all.
[04:58] MIKASA
    She's got three jobs, honey.
[05:01] MIKASA
    She's a high school student,
    an announcer, and Tsukishiro Mina.
[05:08] TAKURO
    Wait a minute.
[05:09] MIKASA
    Being a Mina is passed from mother
    to daughter through her genes.
[05:14] MIKASA
    And Mina is, in fact, a Mina.
[05:17] TAKURO
    What are you talking about?
[05:20] MIKASA
    Didn't I tell you? I used to be a Mina.
[05:25] TAKURO
    No way. I thought you were joking.
[05:28] MIKASA
    Do you not want me if I'm a Mina?
[05:33] TAKURO
    No matter who you are,
    my love for you will never change!
[05:38] MIKASA
    Okay, okay.
[05:40] MIKASA
    Look. Your mother managed to get everything.
[05:43] MIKASA
    See, Mina-chan?
[05:47] TSUKUDA
    Mom...
[05:50] TSUKUDA
    Good morning.
[05:58] TSUKUDA
    Um...
[06:00] MUTSUMUNE
    Apparently, Kiryu-san quit, too.
[06:02] TSUKUDA
    What?
[06:05] ONOUE
    This may be the end of SpoLuna.
[06:08] KATO D
    If I may, the staff will do everything
    in its power to win back the public's trust.
[06:12] ONOUE
    Fully cooperating with Mina's total
    management is our station's directive.
[06:17] AD SUZUKI
    But...
[06:18] KATO D
    So Suiren quitting wasn't enough
    to earn their forgiveness.
[06:22] TSUKUDA
    Why?
[06:24] KATO D
    Because she was Otsuki Mina, obviously.
[06:27] AD SUZUKI
    We don't have a choice.
[06:29] AD SUZUKI
    We'd be fooling the viewers otherwise.
[06:33] KATO D
    SpoLuna is my dream.
[06:37] KATO D
    Yesterday, I gave you
    a script criticizing Otsuki.
[06:40] KATO D
    If we broadcast it as written,
    SpoLuna will be saved.
[06:43] KATO D
    Please. You gotta protect my dream!
[06:53] TV
    Tootle-oo!
[06:55] TV
    Thank you for waiting.
[06:57] TV
    It's time to announce
    this week's top Mina in the universe.
SIGN    Astral Mina Ranking
SIGN    Otsuki Mina
[07:01] TV
    Otsuki Mina didn't even make it
    into the rankings, so who placed first?
SIGN    Shiwasu Mina
[07:07] TV
    It's Shiwasu Mina.
[07:10] SUMIRE
    Heck yeah!
[07:14] YAYOI
    You're in a good mood, miss.
[07:16] SUMIRE
    Huh?
[07:17] SUMIRE
    What is it, Yayoi?
[07:19] YAYOI
    Nothing. I was just thinking
    this matter has grown quite serious.
[07:22] YAYOI
    We may end up needing to shoot
    all earthlings with a brainwashing beam.
[07:29] YAYOI
    If word of this reaches the home planet...
[07:32] SUMIRE
    I know, I know.
[07:35] YAYOI
    This all started because Otsuki Mina took
    your universe's number one Mina spot.
[07:40] YAYOI
    I thought you were just going to get back
    at her by being a little nasty to her.
[07:45] SUMIRE
    Quiet!
[07:46] SUMIRE
    What if someone's listening?
[07:50] YAYOI
    If you raise your voice like that,
    someone will hear you.
[07:56] SUMIRE
    Anyway, what am I going to do?
[08:02] SUMIRE
    Answer the door. We have a guest.
[08:05] SUMIRE
    Hold on. We're a thousand meters in the air.
[08:08] YAYOI
    She's here.
[08:09] SUMIRE
    Who?
[08:10] YAYOI
    Otsuki Mina.
[08:13] SUMIRE
    What?
[08:18] SUMIRE
    Wait a minute.
[08:20] SUMIRE
    Couldn't I blame Otsuki for everything?
[08:25] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai did what?
[08:27] KIRYU
    Yeah. She's going to quit being a Mina, too.
[08:31] KIRYU
    She said, "Chase two rabbits,
    and you'll catch neither."
[08:35] KIRYU
    Not only did I get in her way, but I couldn't
    even accept her when she was hurt.
[08:50] (Flashback) SUIREN
    Keep being an announcer,
    no matter what happens.
[08:56] TSUKUDA
    What should I do?
[08:59] TSUKUDA
    I'm glad you're here. What should I do?
[09:03] BABY
    I have a message from the new
    commander regarding the future.
[09:06] TSUKUDA
    What?
[09:08] SUMIRE
    Hey. How's it going?
[09:10] SUMIRE
    Otsuki Mina just turned herself in.
[09:14] SUMIRE
    She's been kicked off the Rabbit
    Force for neglecting her duties
[09:18] SUMIRE
    and causing social unrest.
[09:20] SUMIRE
    She's been stripped of her Mina powers, too.
[09:23] TSUKUDA
    No.
[09:25] SUMIRE
    Now you have to swear loyalty to me.
[09:28] TSUKUDA
    But...
[09:29] SUMIRE
    Or will you suffer the same fate as Otsuki?
[09:32] SUMIRE
    If your identity is exposed, you won't be
    able to keep working as an announcer.
[09:36] SUMIRE
    Your show might get canceled first, though.
[09:40] SUMIRE
    Well, later.
[09:42] TSUKUDA
    Nanashi!
[09:43] BABY
    Shiwasu is the commander now.
[09:46] BABY
    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
[10:00] KATO D
    The continued existence of the new
    SpoLuna is riding on this one chance!
[10:03] KATO D
    Give it everything you've got, team!
[10:05] KATO D
    Follow the script, Tsukuda. Got it?
[10:10] NIKAIDO
    Yeah! No problem!
[10:19] TSUKUDA
    Good evening. I am main caster Tsukuda Mina.
SIGN    Tsukuda
    Mina
[10:23] TSUKUDA
    As of today, SpoLuna begins anew
    with a brand new lineup.
[10:28] TSUKUDA
    Assisting me is...
SIGN    Mutsumune Escartin
[10:31] MUTSUMUNE
    Hello. I'm Mutsumune Escartin.
[10:34] TSUKUDA
    And our commentator is
    former major leaguer Nikaido-san.
[10:38] NIKAIDO
    Okay! You can count on me!
SIGN    Nikaido Takeshi
[10:41] AD SUZUKI
    They're off to a good start.
[10:43] KATO D
    Yeah.
[10:46] SUMIRE
    Since I used my authority
    to put a little pressure on her,
[10:49] SUMIRE
    Tsukishiro-chan will be forced to yield.
[10:52] SUMIRE
    You've got a good junior.
    You have nothing to worry about.
[10:59] TSUKUDA
    I'd like to start
[11:01] TSUKUDA
    by apologizing for the scandal caused by
    Koshu Suiren, who quit last week...
[11:10] KATO D
    What's she doing?
[11:14] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai, don't give up.
[11:18] KATO D
    Hey, that's not what the script says!
[11:22] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, we're on air.
[11:24] KATO D
    Let go of me! My dream!
[11:28] TSUKUDA
    Otsuki Mina-san told me to seize everything.
[11:32] TSUKUDA
    Suiren-senpai told me we gain
    something important even when we lose.
[11:37] TSUKUDA
    I want all of that, too.
[11:40] TSUKUDA
    Both winning and losing.
[11:42] TSUKUDA
    Both happiness and disappointment.
[11:46] TSUKUDA
    All the things I encounter.
[11:48] KATO D
    I'm done for!
[11:51] AD SUZUKI
    Are you sure about that?
[11:53] AD SUZUKI
    The viewers aren't idiots.
[11:59] TSUKUDA
    That's how I feel now.
[12:01] SUIREN
    Could it be?
[12:03] SUMIRE
    That dumb girl.
[12:05] NIKAIDO
    What?
[12:08] MUTSUMUNE
    Tsukudani...
[12:13] ONOUE
    What is she doing?
[12:16] SUIREN
    You idiot. Are you trying
    to lose your announcer job?
[12:22] TSUKUDA
    Jujitsu.
SIGN    Tsukishiro
[12:44] WOMAN
    Tsukishiro Mina is always so pretty.
[12:54] KANJI
    Tsukuda is Tsukishiro Mina?
[12:56] YOSHIMI
    What?!
[12:58] NIKAIDO
    Unbelievable!
[13:02] TSUKISHIRO
    As both Tsukuda Mina and Tsukishiro Mina,
[13:06] TSUKISHIRO
    I want it all!
[13:08] ONOUE
    She did it. She doesn't mean
    to give up on anything.
[13:14] ONOUE
    It's the viewers who will decide now.
[13:29] HENCHMINA
    Tsukishiro Mina is breaking through the armor.
[13:33] SUMIRE
    Damn that dumb kid.
[13:41] TSUKISHIRO
    Isn't that right, Senpai?
[13:46] SUIREN
    You dummy.
[13:48] SUMIRE
    Ouch...
[13:51] SUMIRE
    You think you can get away with doing this?
[13:52] TSUKISHIRO
    Let's go, Suiren-senpai.
[13:54] SUMIRE
    Hey!
[14:00] SUMIRE
    Otsuki Mina and Tsukishiro Mina are under
    arrest for escaping and assisting an escape.
[14:06] SUMIRE
    All vessels, open fire.
SIGN    Caster Tsukuda is Tsukishiro Mina?!
[14:20] BABY
    You must be Kiryu-dono. I have a request.
[14:24] KIRYU
    You...
[14:25] BABY
    There's no time.
[14:27] BABY
    I'd like you to broadcast this.
SIGN    Tsukishiro
[14:31] WOMAN
    You can do it, Tsukishiro Mina.
[14:34] ALL
    You can do it, Tsukishiro Mina!
[14:36] ALL
    You can do it, Otsuki Mina!
[14:38] ALL
    We're counting on you, Otsuki Mina!
[14:39] ALL
    You've got this, Tsukishiro Mina!
[14:41] ALL
    You can do it!
[14:43] ALL
    Good luck!
[14:48] KANJI
    You can do it, Tsukishiro Mina!
[14:57] NAKORU
    Jujitsu.
[15:01] TAKANASHI
    Jujitsu.
[15:05] TSUTSUJI
    Duwah!
[15:08] TSUTSUJI
    No, wait. I mean Jujitsu.
[15:17] BOTH
    Jujitsu.
SIGN    Shiwasu's vessel opens fire!!
[15:28] AKIYAMA
    Jujitsu.
[15:30] AKIYAMA
    I'll be back, master.
[15:42] HARUMINA
    Time for Jujitsu.
[15:46] KISARAGI
    Here we go, yo.
[15:48] SHIMOTSUKI
    Kisaragi-sensei.
[15:54] GUARD A
    Kiryu-san, please.
[15:56] GUARD A
    You can't go in there.
[15:57] KIRYU
    Oh, yeah?
[16:00] GUARD A
    Hey, stop!
[16:06] KIRYU
    I've got the scoop on
    the criticism against Otsuki!
[16:09] KIRYU
    Broadcast this!
[16:10] NIKAIDO
    You no longer work for SpoLuna.
[16:18] KIRYU
    Mutsumune!
[16:21] MUTSUMUNE
    You can count on me, Kiryu-san.
[16:25] KATO D
    Don't let Mutsumune leave!
[16:26] AD SUZUKI
    But...
[16:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Someone help!
[16:38] ONOUE
    We'll play this during the show.
[16:42] MUTSUMUNE
    Ono P?
[16:44] KATO D
    What are you talking about?
[16:45] KATO D
    What about the script?
    Who's going to be the announcer?
[16:49] ONOUE
    I'll do it.
[16:50] BOTH
    What?
[16:51] ONOUE
    Despite how I seem, I used to be
    in the announcer club, you know.
[16:59] SHIWASU
    You think you can defeat me,
    commander of Earth's Rabbit Force?
[17:03] SHIWASU
    I'll make you do hard
    mochi-pounding labor on the moon
[17:06] SHIWASU
    or ship you off to a frontier planet.
[17:09] SHIWASU
    All ships, destroy them!
[17:20] SHIWASU
    What?
[17:25] TAMAMUSHI
    Cherry Teardrop!
[17:32] MINAZUKI
    Mini Tomato Boom Boom!
[17:39] SATSUKI
    Here we go!
[17:46] AKIYAMA
    Lotus Revolver!
[17:54] SHIMOTSUKI
    Kisaragi-sensei, you finally acknowledged me.
[17:59] KISARAGI
    Sure.
[18:05] SHIMOTSUKI
    Sensei!
[18:15] TSUKISHIRO
    Guys...
[18:18] SHIWASU
    Are you...?
[18:21] MINAZUKI
    Our feelings are united.
[18:23] SATSUKI
    That's right. Shiwasu-han,
    we don't consider you our commander.
[18:28] TAMAMUSHI
    Can you afford to antagonize
    all of Japan's Minas?
[18:33] BABY
    Your plot will be exposed soon.
[18:36] BABY
    Take a look at this.
[18:39] ONOUE
    The SpoLuna staff have acquired
    the truth about Shiwasu Mina.
[18:45] ONOUE
    Take a look.
[18:47] SUMIRE
    I know, I know.
[18:49] YAYOI
    This all started because Otsuki Mina
    took your universe's number one Mina spot.
[18:54] YAYOI
    I thought you were just going to get back
    at her by being a little nasty to her.
[18:59] SUMIRE
    Quiet!
[19:00] SUMIRE
    What if someone's listening?
[19:03] SUMIRE
    Wait a minute.
[19:04] SUMIRE
    Couldn't I blame Otsuki for everything?
[19:08] ONOUE
    As you saw in this video,
    this disturbance was a plot
[19:12] ONOUE
    created by Shiwasu Mina because
    she was jealous of Otsuki Mina's popularity.
[19:17] SHIWASU
    Crap! How did they get this?
[19:20] BABY
    I secretly filmed you.
[19:23] TSUKISHIRO
    Senpai, look.
[19:27] VOICE
    You can do it, Otsuki Mina!
[19:27] VOICE
    You can do it, Tsukishiro Mina!
[19:32] TSUKISHIRO
    Senpai.
[19:33] SUIREN
    I feel like kicking some butt now, too.
[19:36] TSUKISHIRO
    Nobody will complain about it today.
[19:38] TSUKISHIRO
    Should we do it?
[19:39] SUIREN
    Yeah.
[19:42] SUIREN
    Jujitsu.
[20:11] SHIWASU
    Oh, fine. I'll just destroy all of you.
[20:20] OTSUKI
    Let's do this, Tsukishiro.
[20:21] TSUKISHIRO
    Yes, Senpai.
[20:24] SHIWASU
    Take this!
[20:36] BOTH
    Go!
[21:02] YAYOI
    What shall we do, miss?
[21:06] SHIWASU
    Now that it's come to this...
[21:09] SHIWASU
    We'll have to temporarily
    retreat to the Mina Planet.
[21:12] SHIWASU
    See you later, earthlings!
[21:19] TSUKISHIRO
    Senpai.
[21:30] AD SUZUKI
    We're being flooded with calls and messages
[21:32] AD SUZUKI
    in support of announcer Suiren
    returning to Luna TV.
[21:37] ONOUE
    That settles that.
[21:40] KATO D
    Ahem. To the future success of SpoLuna.
[21:46] KATO D
    Cheers!
[21:48] ALL
    Cheers!
SIGN    Tsukishima Shopping Center
[22:15] MAN
    Are you working at Luna TV this morning?
[22:18] WOMAN
    We heard you got the morning show.
[22:20] MAN
    Good luck.
[22:22] TSUKUDA
    Thank you.
[22:23] TSUKUDA
    I'll do my best again today.
[22:31] TSUKUDA
    Wait!
[22:33] TSUKUDA
    I mustn't run, even if I'm running late.
[22:43] VEGETABLE MAN
    Mina-chan.
[22:46] VEGETABLE MAN
    Chew on this.
[22:49] TSUKUDA
    Thanks, mister.
[22:55] TSUKUDA
    Jujitsu.
[22:59] TSUKISHIRO
    I'd better hurry.
SIGN    See you later
[24:25] HAIBARA
    A strange rumor is spreading
    among part-time workers.
[24:28] HAIBARA
    According to information we received,
    the female part-timer is a bespectacled beauty
[24:33] HAIBARA
    who takes various part-time
    positions all over Japan,
[24:36] HAIBARA
    leaving powerful impressions
    on the people who meet her.
[24:39] AD SUZUKI
    H-san—no, Haibara Minamo-san,
[24:42] AD SUZUKI
    who are you really?
[24:45] HAIBARA
    You've grown, Suzuki-san.
[24:47] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "The Legend of Akiyama Mina."
[24:51] HAIBARA
    Now that's a secret.
[24:53] TSUKUDA
    Whoa!