E8 - Sightseeing in This Pitiful City!
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] K
A chicken race.
[00:03] K
A game of speed in which
competitors charge at an obstacle
[00:06] K
at full speed, dodging only at the last second,
[00:09] K
to demonstrate courage.
[00:12] K
And right now, she has been chosen as
the obstacle in this dangerous game.
[00:17] D
Oh, boy! Here they come, here they come!
[00:20] D
K-Kazuma, this time...
this time I'm surely done for!
[00:23] D
Oh, they're gonna ram me!
[00:35] D
Kazuma! Do you suppose this
counts as a type of teasing?
[00:38] D
This sensation of almost being
struck is quite something!
[00:41] D
Unbelievable. Males in heat are
leaping over me, one after another!
[00:47] K
Stop it! There are people watching!
Don't say another word!
SIGN KONOSUBA!
God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2
SIGN Episode 8 Sightseeing in This Pitiful City!
[02:21] A
Blessing!
[02:25] D
Oh, don't bother with me!
[02:30] K
We shouldn't need to worry
about Darkness now.
[02:32] A
All thanks to my Blessing!
[02:34] K
Yeah, yeah.
[02:35] K
When we're done here, you can have my seat.
[02:37] A
Yes!
[02:39] Advs
Lightning!
[02:40] Advs
Blade of Wind!
[02:42] Advs
Fireball!
[02:57] K
They're still coming?!
[02:58] D
All right!
[03:02] K
Pops, are there any cliffs around here?!
[03:04] Driver
Nothing of the sort!
[03:06] Driver
Closest thing is a cave we use
for shelter from the heat!
[03:09] K
A cave? That works! Take us there!
[03:11] K
Megumin, Aqua! Get in the wagon!
[03:14] K
Come on, Darkness—
[03:16] K
So heavy... Can't lift...
[03:18] D
Don't say I'm heavy!
[03:21] D
You have to specify that
my armor is too heavy!
[03:24] D
Just tie me to the wagon with
a rope and drag me along.
[03:28] D
It's an emergency! No way around it!
[03:30] D
Don't hold back! You have no choice!
[03:33] Driver
Sir, you'd better hurry!
[03:35] Driver
We can't wait much longer!
[03:37] K
Let me know if it's too much, Darkness!
[03:39] K
We'll let you loose!
[03:41] D
Being tied to a cart and dragged by horses...
[03:44] D
Not only that, but while in that state,
I'll be chased by a bunch of lus—
[04:00] D
Kazuma! This is good! So good!
[04:01] D
Don't yell my name in that context!
[04:02] D
It's a new discovery,
being treated as luggage like this!
[04:05] A
I knew you were a brute, Kazuma,
but this might be going too far...
[04:11] K
I-It wasn't my idea! It was Darkness!
[04:14] Driver
Sir, they're gonna catch us at this rate!
[04:19] K
Crap! Pops, how far to the cave?
[04:21] Driver
Need more time!
[04:22] Both
We're done for!
[04:24] Wiz
Bottomless Swamp!
[04:32] K
Thanks, Wiz!
[04:37] D
For a noble to be in such
a disheveled state...
[04:41] D
No! Stop it! Don't look, Kazuma!
[04:43] D
Don't look at the seedy sight
of me being treated so roughly!
[04:48] A
Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal!
[04:51] A
Darkness! Hang in there!
[04:53] M
Kazuma! The cave is within sight!
[04:56] M
I'm ready to fire my magic anytime!
[04:58] K
All right!
[04:59] K
Pops, stop the wagon to the
side of the cave's opening!
[05:02] Driver
Okay!
[05:03] K
Aqua, I need support magic
to boost my strength!
[05:06] A
Got it!
[05:07] A
Powered!
[05:12] K
Snipe! Snipe! Snipe! Snipe!
[05:26] K
I see...
[05:28] K
And I was starting to
wonder just what made
[05:30] K
these Running Hawk Kites
"kites" of any kind.
[05:32] K
That clears it up.
[05:33] Driver
Hang on tight, folks!
[05:36] K
Got it!
[06:01] D
Not bad! This treatment isn't bad at all!
[06:03] D
I should've expected as much from Kazuma!
Roughed up and then used as monster bait—
[06:12] K
Megumin!
[06:13] M
Explosion!
[06:28] Chef
Now, everyone, eat up!
[06:30] Chef
This turned out great, so help yourself!
[06:32] Chef
I have to say, that was impressive!
[06:34] Chef
To think you had a magic user powerful
enough to use explosion magic!
[06:38] Chef
And an arch priest able to treat all
the injured with no trouble!
[06:43] Chef
Facing down that pack of Running Hawk Kites
[06:46] Chef
without backing down, all on her own!
Such a courageous crusader!
[06:49] Chef
And being able to used advanced magic
to slow them down with that swamp magic!
[06:52] Chef
Not to mention the inspired decision to
lure the enemy into the cave so that
[06:57] Chef
they could be dealt with all at once!
[06:59] Chef
I am quite impressed!
[07:01] K
Please stop, seriously.
[07:03] K
It's not like that at all. This is our fault.
[07:06] Chef
This is just to show my
gratitude. Here, please.
[07:09] K
No, no, no, no! It's totally fine! Really!
[07:12] Chef
What are you saying?
[07:14] Chef
It was your group that defeated
the Running Hawk Kites!
[07:17] K
As adventurers, it's only natural
we contribute to the battle.
[07:20] Chef
Remarkable!
[07:22] Chef
To think that true adventurers like you
people still exist in this harsh world!
[07:28] K
I can't accept a reward
for a problem we caused!
[07:31] K
KONOSUBA!
[07:33] Advs
Can you pull it off?!
[07:42] A
Thank you, thank you!
[07:59] K
You guys are making this very awkward.
[08:02] M
Nah, I was just impressed
with how well you were doing.
[08:05] D
Something about seeing my
armor being repaired first-hand
[08:09] D
is exciting to watch.
[08:11] K
I'm glad the smithing skills I learned
for product development came in handy.
[08:16] Crowd
Again! Do that trick again!
[08:18] Crowd
I'll pay if I have to!
So please, one more time!
[08:22] K
She could probably make a living
doing this sort of thing.
[08:42] K
Hey, wake up, Megumin! Something's weird!
[08:48] K
Hey! Megumin, Wiz, wake up!
[08:51] K
Otherwise I'm gonna do something that'll
make it hard to look me in the eye...
[08:54] K
You don't mind? It's fine, then?
[08:56] D
Of course it's not!
[08:57] D
What were you going to do?
[09:00] K
Hey, don't scare me like that!
[09:02] K
I was about to do something
crazy in front of you!
[09:05] D
Seriously, what were you going to do?
[09:08] D
No, that's not important now.
[09:10] Crowd
Hey, there's something out there!
[09:12] Crowd
Everyone, wake up!
[09:17] K
And... Foresight.
[09:23] K
There's a lot of them!
But they're moving stiffly...
[09:36] K
Handle things here! I'll get Aqua!
[09:39] K
Now's our chance to pay everyone back!
[09:41] K
After the trouble we caused when the Running
Hawk Kites were attracted to Darkness—
[09:47] A
What is this?! Why am I surrounded
by undead the second I wake up?!
[09:50] A
Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san!
[09:53] K
Wait. Is this...
[09:57] A
Trying to attack us while we sleep?!
Pretty sneaky of you, undead!
[10:00] A
Oh, wandering souls, rest in peace!
[10:03] A
Turn Undead!
[10:18] D
Hang in there, Wiz!
[10:19] D
Someone! Wiz is...
[10:20] Crowd
Amazing! She got all those zombies at once!
[10:23] Crowd
Awesome!
[10:24] K
I'm sorry.
[10:27] A
Your luck ran out when you ran into me!
[10:29] A
Now, I'll purify every last one of you!
[10:33] K
I'm sorry.
[10:34] Crowd
Such a beautiful priest!
[10:37] Crowd
She's like a goddess!
[10:39] Crowd
She's from that crusader's party!
[10:42] K
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
[10:44] K
I'm so sorry for everything
my friends keep causing.
[10:47] Crowd
It's pretty rare to see a
pack of attacking zombies.
[10:50] Crowd
Good thing we had that priest with us!
[10:54] K
I'm sorry.
[10:56] K
If our goddess wasn't here,
[10:57] K
these zombies probably wouldn't
have shown up in the first place.
[11:02] A
Well, Kazuma? Was that goddess-like or what?
[11:05] A
I have to say, I have been
really nailing it lately!
[11:08] A
It wouldn't kill you to
make an offering, y'know!
[11:12] Guy
Wow, you've saved us again!
[11:15] Guy
This time, please, accept this reward!
[11:18] K
I'm sorry! We absolutely can not accept!
[11:23] YY
Can you wrap this up as a gift?
[11:25] Butcher
Sure thing.
[11:27] YY
E-Excuse me!
[11:29] YY
W-We're finally going to duel today, Megumin!
[11:32] YY
This is just a little something from me!
You can all enjoy it together!
[11:37] YY
H-Hello?
[11:47] A
Hey, look over there!
[12:07] A
We're here! The city of water
and hot springs, Arcanretia!
[12:26] K
Wow! Elves and dwarves!
[12:29] K
Now this is really fantastical!
[12:32] D
The scenery is completely
different from Axel...
[12:37] D
And the air is so clean.
[12:39] Vendor
Steamed buns! Care for a steamed bun?
[12:42] M
Those are a local specialty, Arcan steamed buns.
[12:45] M
They're supposed to be quite tasty!
[12:47] K
I'm impressed you know that, Megumin.
[12:49] M
Arcanretia is famous among
adventurers as a health resort.
[12:53] M
The curative effects of the hot springs
here are said to be extraordinary!
[12:56] ---
Yeah?
[12:58] D
My father took me to several
different towns in the past,
[13:02] D
but this place is more
beautiful than any of them.
[13:05] D
This should be a good hot springs trip.
[13:08] K
If they're all like this, maybe we should've
been visiting different towns all this time.
[13:13] Driver
Well, enjoy your holiday, folks!
[13:16] K
Thanks, Pops!
[13:19] M
Aww... Jarippa.
[13:21] M
Jarippa is being taken away!
[13:24] K
She gave something a
weird name again...
[13:28] A
Come on, everyone! Where should we go?
[13:30] A
You can ask me anything you
need to know about this town!
[13:32] A
After all, this town is the home of
the Axis Church, which I've blessed!
[13:38] K
As in... the Axis cult
that's full of weirdos?
[13:41] K
And this is town is its home?
[13:44] K
That explains why Aqua wanted to come here.
[13:49] Crowd
Welcome to Arcanretia!
[13:51] Crowd
Are you tourists? Converts?
Adventurers? Pilgrims?
[13:55] Crowd
If you've come looking for work,
might I recommend the Axis Church?
[13:58] Crowd
We have a job right now where you can
get paid just to tell other towns
[14:01] Crowd
about how wonderful the Axis Church is!
[14:03] Crowd
If you accept the position,
[14:04] Crowd
you get the bonus of being able to identify
yourself as part of the Axis Church!
[14:07] Crowd
How about it? Please, join us!
[14:10] Crowd
Such beautiful light blue hair!
[14:13] Crowd
Is it natural? I'm jealous!
I'm ever so jealous!
[14:16] Crowd
Your raiment is just like
Aqua-sama's, too! It suits you!
[14:20] K
W-We should probably
head to an inn for now.
[14:22] D
R-Right. Good idea.
[14:25] K
We've already got a priest from
the Axis cult with us, so...
[14:28] K
Pardon us!
[14:30] Crowd
Farewell, comrades! And may
you have a blessed day!
[14:34] Crowd
KONOSUBA!
[14:44] V
Hey!
[14:46] V
Hey!
[14:55] V
Come on! Come over here!
[15:01] W
Where am I?
[15:03] K
Relax. We're already at Arcanretia.
[15:07] W
I feel as though I was on the
edge of a beautiful river,
[15:09] W
and Verdia-san was happily waving
to me from the other side...
[15:15] W
Thank you so much, Kazuma-san.
[15:17] K
You should thank Darkness, not me.
[15:19] D
I'm glad you've made it back.
[15:22] K
I hope that Aqua hasn't
caused some new problem.
[15:27] (Flashback) A
I'm gonna go have some fun at the
headquarters of the Axis Church!
[15:31] (Flashback) A
Time to be fawned over for
being an arch priest!
[15:35] K
I'm worried.
[15:37] D
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Megumin went with her.
[15:41] K
Really? You think so?
[15:44] W
I'm fine now,
[15:46] W
so why don't the two of you
take a look around town?
[15:48] D
Let's go, Kazuma. I'd love
to get a look at the city.
[15:55] D
Look, Kazuma! There's a fountain!
[15:58] K
Hey, you're right.
[16:00] D
This statue of their goddess is beautiful...
[16:03] K
And a sham.
[16:10] Girl
My apples...
[16:11] K
Are you okay?
[16:16] Girl
Thank you so much!
[16:17] Girl
You've been a huge help!
[16:20] Girl
Um...
[16:22] Girl
Can I do anything to thank you?
[16:26] K
Huh? Did I just trigger a flag?
[16:33] Girl
There's a café run by the
Axis Church just up ahead!
[16:36] Girl
Why don't we go there and have a chat?
[16:38] K
I'm good, thanks.
[16:40] Girl
W-W-Wait a second!
[16:42] Girl
I'm actually great at telling fortunes!
[16:44] Girl
Why don't you let me read your future?
[16:46] K
Th-That's quite all right!
[16:48] K
Seriously, it's fine!
[16:50] K
L-Let go!
[16:53] K
Ow, ow, ow!
[16:54] Girl
I've seen your future!
[16:56] Girl
Grave misfortune awaits you!
[16:58] Girl
But if you convert to the Axis faith,
your misfortune can be avoided!
[17:01] Girl
Join us! Why don't you join us?
[17:05] K
I'm experiencing misfortune
at this very instant!
[17:07] K
Hey, let go!
[17:08] K
Darkness, save me!
[17:10] D
I'm sorry.
[17:12] D
I'm actually a believer in the Eris faith.
[17:14] D
If you want to proselytize to him,
you'll have to wait until—
[17:27] K
W-Well, you know how it is.
[17:30] K
I know that the Axis cult and the
Eris church don't get along too well...
[17:33] K
Maybe you should keep your charm hidden.
[17:35] K
And don't let it bother you too—
[17:38] K
Are you turned on right now?
[17:41] D
I am not.
[17:42] K
But you just made that "Mmn!" sound.
[17:46] D
This place really is the
home of the Axis cult.
[17:50] K
Well, there are fewer people around here,
[17:52] K
so we should be fine now.
[17:54] Woman
Eek! Help me!
[17:56] Woman
You there! Please, help me!
[17:58] Woman
This violent-looking man,
who's probably an Eris cultist,
[18:01] Woman
is trying to force me into his dark ways!
[18:05] Guy
Hey, you there!
[18:06] Guy
You're not with the Axis Church, are you?
[18:09] Guy
If you were as cool and strong as the members
of that faith, I'd have to run away!
[18:13] Guy
But if you're not, I'm not gonna hold back!
[18:15] Guy
I've received the blessing
of the Dark Goddess Eris!
[18:17] Guy
If you wanna get in my way,
then I'll let you have it!
[18:20] Woman
Oh, this is horrible!
[18:22] Woman
And all I have on me is the paperwork
for joining the Axis Church!
[18:26] Woman
If only someone would sign their name,
[18:28] Woman
this sinister Eris cultist
would flee in fear!
[18:33] Woman
Hey, wait, don't abandon me, sir!
[18:35] Woman
It's fine! You just have to
write your name on this paper,
[18:38] Woman
and then you'll receive some
kind power from Aqua-sama
[18:40] Woman
to make you strong and super cool!
[18:41] Woman
With that power, this Eris cultist will
surely lose his nerve and run away!
[18:46] Guy
That's right!
[18:47] Guy
Plus, if you join, you'll get
all kinds of rare bonuses,
[18:49] Guy
like becoming a good entertainer
[18:52] Guy
and being beloved by undead monsters!
[18:54] D
If you insist on calling Eris-sama
a dark goddess in my presence—
[19:02] K
Is everyone in the Axis cult like this?
[19:07] K
Everyone in the Eris cult better
not be like her, either.
[19:10] K
You were turned on, weren't you?
[19:12] D
Was not.
[19:12] Dude
Congratulations!
[19:14] Dude
You are the millionth to
pass down this street!
[19:18] Dude
I'd love to give you a commemorative
prize, but you see,
[19:21] Dude
the prize is actually sponsored
by the Axis Church,
[19:23] Dude
so if you'd just help me get
this paperwork out of the way,
[19:27] Dude
we can get your name, and you
can receive your prize...
[19:31] Woman
Hey! Hey, wow, it's been so long!
[19:34] Woman
It's me! You know, me! How've you been?
[19:36] Woman
Remember? We were classmates in school!
[19:39] Woman
We were in the same class!
Do you remember me?
[19:41] Woman
I've changed a lot since
joining the Axis Church,
[19:45] Woman
so maybe you didn't recognize me!
[19:47] Woman
Oh, my! Wait a moment!
[19:48] Woman
Are you two newlyweds? Why, how darling!
[19:51] Woman
Here, take this detergent!
[19:53] Woman
Oh, don't worry about paying!
[19:55] Woman
It's a little wedding gift from an old lady!
[19:58] Woman
It's actually some amazing stuff!
[20:00] Woman
I mean, it's received Aqua-sama's blessing,
so it can get rid of any kind of stain!
[20:03] Woman
And it's so easy on your skin! I'm serious!
[20:07] Woman
You can even drink it!
[20:14] K
What is wrong with this town?
[20:17] D
A trial in a heretical land...
[20:20] D
What an experience!
[20:22] K
You never break character, do you?
[20:25] Waitress
Here are your orders.
[20:28] Waitress
Oh, and for our guest from the Eris cult...
[20:31] Waitress
This is for you, on the house.
[20:34] Waitress
Please enjoy yourselves.
[20:39] D
Hey, Kazuma, why don't
we all move to this town?
[20:43] K
Absolutely not!
[20:44] K
KONOSUBA!
[20:49] K
Let's just head back to the inn.
[20:58] K
Are you okay?
[21:00] D
Here, let me see.
[21:02] K
Looks like it's just a scratch.
[21:04] Girl
Thank you, mister, lady!
[21:07] K
Even in a city full of religious nutcases,
[21:10] K
this girl blooms like a single flower!
[21:13] K
Here.
[21:15] K
Well? Does it hurt?
[21:16] Girl
No, it's fine now! Thank you!
[21:19] Girl
Hey, nice man, tell me your name!
[21:23] K
It's Kazuma. Satou Kazuma.
[21:25] K
And the scary lady here is Darkness.
[21:27] D
D-Don't give me such a weird introduction!
[21:30] D
Am I really that scary-looking?
[21:34] Girl
How do you write "Satou Kazuma"?
[21:37] Girl
Write it for me, mister!
[21:39] K
Sure. My name is written like—
[21:51] K
Damn it all!
[21:54] Girl
Mister!
SIGN Episode 9
SIGN A Goddess for This Corrupt Hot Springs Town!
SIGN My dear friends, Funifura-san and Dodonko-san. About coming to visit, please don't do it! I'm sure you're busy, so don't put yourselves out on my behalf. I'm actually pretty occupied myself, as well. Is it all right if you wait a bit before coming by? Please. Please, I beg for your patience. -Yunyun
[23:32] YY
My dear friends, Funifura-san
and Dodonko-san.
[23:35] YY
About coming to visit, please don't do it!
[23:38] YY
I'm sure you're busy, so don't—