KONOSUBA - God's blessing on this wonderful world! After a traffic accident, Kazuma Sato's disappointingly brief life was supposed to be over, but he wakes up to see a beautiful girl before him. She claims to be a goddess, Aqua, and asks if he would like to go to another world and bring only one thing with him. Kazuma decides to bring the goddess herself, and they are transported to a fantasy world filled with adventure, ruled by a demon king. Now Kazuma only wants to live in peace, but Aqua wants to solve many of this world's problems, and the demon king will only turn a blind eye for so long... Season 1 E1 - This Self Proclaimed Goddess and Reincarnation in Another World! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:05] Kaz     There we go... [00:07] Kaz     I normally shut myself in at home, [00:10] Kaz     but unusually for me,     today I made up my mind to go out. [00:17] Kaz     All to get my hands on     the first-run limited edition [00:19] Kaz     of a popular online game     that goes on sale today. [00:31] Kaz     A five-hour round trip!     I'm glad I was able to buy it. [00:34] Kaz     In-store exclusives, official or not,     really are playing dirty. [00:40] Kaz     This sunlight is my worst enemy     after three straight all-nighters. [00:44] Kaz     Time to get home and play the hell out of this. [00:52] Kaz     A girl from my high school? [00:58] Kaz     Look out! That truck's going to— [01:05] Kaz     Why would I choose now, of all times, [01:08] Kaz     to do something so out of character? [01:24] Aqua     Satou Kazuma-san. [01:27] Aqua     Welcome to the afterlife. [01:31] Aqua     Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago. [01:39] Aqua     Your life was a short one, [01:43] Aqua     but you are, in fact, dead. [01:49] Kaz     Just one question... [01:52] Kaz     What about the girl I     pushed out of harm's way? [01:56] Aqua     She's alive. [01:59] Kaz     Thank goodness. [02:01] Kaz     That means my death wasn't in vain. [02:06] Aqua     Actually, she wouldn't have gotten hurt, [02:09] Aqua     even if you hadn't pushed her out of the way. [02:11] Kaz     Huh? [02:12] Aqua     That tractor was going to stop before it hit her. [02:16] Kaz     Huh? Wait a second. [02:18] Aqua     What is it? [02:19] Kaz     "Tractor"? [02:21] Aqua     Yes, it was a tractor. [02:24] Kaz     Huh? Then what happened? [02:26] Kaz     Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor? [02:28] Aqua     No, you died of shock. [02:30] Aqua     You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you. [02:33] Kaz     I died of shock?! [02:38] Aqua     I've been doing this for a long time, [02:40] Aqua     but you're the first human to     ever die in such a bizarre way. [02:45] Kaz     I've never even met this girl     before. What's her deal? [02:48] Aqua     You were so terrified that you'd     be run over, you wet yourself. [02:51] Aqua     You passed out and were     taken to a nearby hospital, [02:54] Aqua     and the doctors and nurses laughed     at you as you had a heart attack— [02:56] Kaz     Stop! I don't wanna hear it! [02:58] Kaz     I don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna hear it! [03:00] Aqua     Your family just rushed to the hospital, [03:02] Aqua     and now even they're laughing     out loud at the cause of death. [03:05] Kaz     Stop! Stop! [03:06] Aqua     Well... [03:09] Aqua     I've vented enough stress for now. [03:12] Kaz     Damn her! [03:13] Aqua     My name is Aqua. [03:16] Aqua     I'm a goddess who guides humans     who die young to the afterlife. [03:20] Aqua     You have two choices. [03:23] Aqua     You can start from square one with a new life, [03:25] Aqua     or you can go to Heaven and     carry on like an old man. [03:29] Aqua     To tell you the truth, [03:32] Aqua     Heaven isn't the dreamy place     you all imagine it to be. [03:35] Kaz     Huh? [03:36] Aqua     Not only is there no TV, there are     no manga or games, either. [03:38] Aqua     You don't even have a physical body, [03:40] Aqua     so you can't do anything sexual, either. [03:44] Aqua     There's nothing to do there but     bask in the sun for all eternity. [03:47] Kaz     What? [03:49] Aqua     Yeah, you don't want to go to a     boring place like Heaven, do you? [03:53] Kaz     Uh, right... [03:55] Aqua     On the other hand, starting over     from square one isn't so fun, either. [03:59] Aqua     On that note, I've got a great offer for you. [04:01] Aqua     You like games, don't you? [04:03] Kaz     Huh? [04:05] Aqua     That world, which has long enjoyed peace, [04:08] Aqua     is being threatened by the Devil King's army! [04:11] Aqua     The livelihoods its citizens have worked     for are being trampled by monsters. [04:15] Aqua     Everyone lives in fear of the Devil King's     army's merciless pillage and slaughter! [04:20] Aqua     ...slaughter! [04:24] Aqua     Since that's the sort of world it is,     everyone refuses to be reborn, [04:28] Aqua     so the population is declining. [04:30] ---     I see... [04:31] Aqua     So we decided, "Why not send people who've [04:33] Aqua     died in other worlds there with their     bodies and memories intact?" [04:38] Kaz     What's the point in sending me there     if I'm just going to be killed? [04:41] Aqua     That's why I'm doing you a big favor. [04:43] Aqua     I'm granting you the right to bring any     one thing of your choosing with you. [04:47] Aqua     It could be a powerful weapon,     or a tremendous talent. [04:51] Aqua     You'll be able to redo your life     with all of your original memories. [04:54] Aqua     To top it off, you can bring     one thing of your choosing! [04:58] Aqua     And the people of the parallel world [04:59] Aqua     will earn someone battle-ready to help them. [05:02] Aqua     Not a bad deal, don't you think? [05:07] Kaz     Um, I want to ask something. [05:10] Kaz     Will I be able to speak this     other world's language? [05:13] Aqua     That won't be an issue. SIGN    Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract     The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins) [05:16] Aqua     With the kind support of us gods, [05:19] Aqua     we'll overload your brain so you'll     be able to learn it instantly. SIGN    Caution!     Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world's language into the one     who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as "Reincarnated") requires     instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as     "Brain"), Reincarnated's Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go "p°°f"). Should     this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051 Clause 3,     Reincarnated may not hold those responsible for his reincarnation accountable. [05:23] Aqua     As a side effect, [05:24] Aqua     you might just go "poof"     if you're unlucky, though. [05:26] Aqua     So all that leaves you to do is to choose     a powerful ability or piece of equipment. [05:33] Kaz     I just heard you mention     something really serious. [05:36] Kaz     What do you mean, "poof"? [05:37] Aqua     I never said that. [05:38] Kaz     Yes, you did. [05:40] Aqua     Now, choose! [05:43] Aqua     I'll grant you one power     that is second to none! [05:51] Kaz     This is my gamer's intuition talking, [05:52] Kaz     but all of the abilities and equipment     here are totally broken! [05:55] Kaz     If I'm going to a world where magic exists,     I absolutely have to try it out! [06:00] Aqua     Hey, hurry it up. [06:02] Aqua     No matter what you pick, it's all the same. [06:04] Aqua     Nobody's expecting much from     a shut-in game otaku anyway. [06:07] Kaz     I-I'm not an otaku! [06:09] Kaz     And I died after leaving my house,     so I'm not a shut-in, either! [06:14] Aqua     None of that matters. Just hurry it up. [06:17] Aqua     I've still got lots more deceased     humans to guide, you know. [06:20] Kaz     Damn her! [06:22] Kaz     Getting all cocky just because     she's a little bit cute... [06:31] Kaz     "Hurry up and decide," huh? [06:33] Kaz     I'll do just that, then. [06:35] Kaz     Pick one thing to bring to     this parallel world, right? [06:38] Aqua     That's right. [06:42] Kaz     Okay, I pick you. [06:50] Aqua     All right, stand there and     don't leave the magic circle— [06:54] Aqua     What did you just say? [07:02] Angel     We have heard your request. [07:04] Angel     I shall take over your job     from here on out, Aqua-sama. [07:09] Aqua     Huh? [07:10] Angel     Satou Kazuma-san's wish complies with     the regulations and has been accepted. [07:14] Aqua     Hey, what is all this? Wh-What?     You've got to be kidding. [07:18] Aqua     No, no, no! Come on, um... [07:20] Aqua     This is not right! Taking a goddess     with you is against the rules! [07:25] Aqua     It must be illegal! This has to be illegal! [07:28] Aqua     Wait! Wait! [07:30] Angel     Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama. [07:33] Angel     Should you successfully defeat the Devil King, [07:35] Angel     I will send someone to pick you up. [07:37] Aqua     I may have the ability to     heal since I'm a goddess, [07:40] Aqua     but I have no fighting ability to speak of! [07:42] Aqua     There's no way I can beat the Devil King! [07:45] Aqua     Hey, wait! [07:49] Kaz     How does it feel to get dragged away with     the guy you treated like a total idiot? [07:56] Kaz     You've been designated as the one     thing I'll be bringing along, [07:59] Kaz     so if you're a goddess,     use your godly powers [08:01] Kaz     or whatever to make my     life as easy as possible! [08:04] Aqua     No! [08:05] Aqua     I don't want to go to a parallel     world with a man like this! [08:13] Angel     Brave hero, I pray that of the     great many prospective heroes, [08:17] Angel     you will be the one to defeat the Devil King. [08:20] Angel     If you do so, we shall grant any wish [08:23] Angel     you desire as a gift from the gods. [08:25] Kaz     Whoa, for real?! [08:28] Aqua     That's my line! [08:29] Angel     Now, go forth on your journey! [08:34] Aqua     No! SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers SIGN    Axel SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers SIGN    Axel SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers SIGN    Axel SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers SIGN    Axel [09:03] Kaz     It's a parallel world. [09:05] Kaz     Hey, this really is a parallel world! [09:07] Kaz     W-Wait, I'm really going to be using magic [09:12] Kaz     and going on adventures     in this world from now on? [09:18] Kaz     Goodbye, shut-in life! Hello, new world! [09:22] Kaz     I can really start anew in this world! [09:26] Kaz     Hey, shut up. [09:27] Kaz     What am I going to do if everyone     thinks I'm friends with a crazy woman? [09:31] Kaz     More importantly, isn't there something you're     supposed to give me at a time like this? [09:35] Kaz     Look at what I'm wearing. I'm in a tracksuit. [09:37] Kaz     Here I am in a fantasy world,     and all I have is a single tracksuit. [09:41] Kaz     Isn't there a bare minimum of     starter equipment I should— [09:53] Kaz     Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it! [09:55] Kaz     I get it, okay?! I'm sorry! [09:58] Kaz     If you hate it that much,     then you can go home. [10:00] Kaz     I'll work out the rest on my own. [10:03] Aqua     What are you talking about?! [10:04] Aqua     I'm in trouble because I can't go back! [10:06] Aqua     What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do? [10:08] Aqua     What am I supposed to do from now on?! [10:12] Kaz     Hey, calm down, Goddess. [10:14] Kaz     Times like these call for guilds. [10:16] Kaz     Going to places like that to gather     intel is what you do in RPGs. [10:21] Aqua     Huh? You're supposed to be     some game otaku shut-in. [10:25] Aqua     Why are you so reliable? [10:27] Kaz     All right! Let's go, Goddess. [10:28] Aqua     Hey, wait. [10:31] Aqua     You can call me "Goddess" if you like, [10:33] Aqua     but when you can, call me "Aqua,"     so we don't cause a commotion. [10:36] Kaz     I get it. [10:38] Kaz     If you're a goddess, [10:39] Kaz     wouldn't you know where we can     find an adventurer's guild? [10:42] Aqua     I'm a goddess. [10:44] Aqua     There's no way I'd know about     every little lowly place like that. [10:49] Kaz     This girl's useless... [10:51] Shop     Thanks for your business. [10:52] Customer     Thank you. Up we go... SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild SIGN    Adventurer's Guild [10:57] Kaz     Looks like this is the place. [11:04] Aqua     Scary! [11:07] C     Welcome! If you're here to eat,     please take any open seat. [11:11] C     If you need job guidance,     head to the counter inside. [11:14] Kaz     Thank you. [11:21] Man     Hey! [11:23] Man     Haven't seen you around here before. [11:26] Man     And what's with the weird clothes? [11:29] Kaz     Oh, we've actually come a long way,     and we just got into town. [11:36] Kaz     I want to become an adventurer     to fight the Devil King's army, too. [11:41] Man     Is that right, you reckless punk? [11:43] Man     Welcome to the gates of Hell! [11:46] Man     If you're lookin' for the guild     admission desk, it's over there. [11:52] Aqua     Hey. [11:54] Aqua     How can you make up a story     like that on the spot? [11:58] Kaz     Listen, Aqua. [11:59] Aqua     Okay. [12:00] Kaz     Today we'll register with a guild     and find a place to stay the night. [12:04] Aqua     G-Got it. I don't know anything about games, [12:07] Aqua     but I guess that's how it works     in worlds like this, right? [12:10] Kaz     Exactly. All right, let's go. [12:12] Aqua     Oh, wait. [12:14] Aqua     You seem like such a capable guy. [12:17] Aqua     Why were you a shut-in otaku with     no friends or girlfriend before? [12:21] Aqua     Why did you seclude yourself every day     and act like such a shut-in NEET? [12:24] Kaz     Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch. [12:26] Kaz     Don't lump "shut-in" and "NEET" together. [12:31] Luna     Hello. What can I do for you today? [12:34] Kaz     Um, we'd like to become adventurers. [12:36] Luna     I see. [12:38] Luna     In that case, you'll first need     to pay the registration fee. [12:41] Kaz     Sure, sure... [12:42] Kaz     Huh? Registration fee? [12:46] Kaz     Do you have any money? [12:48] Aqua     You dragged me here without any warning. [12:50] Aqua     Of course I don't. [12:52] Kaz     This girl's useless... [13:02] A     Are you ready to order? [13:04] Kaz     Um, I'm still thinking about it... [13:07] A     Please take your time. [13:09] Kaz     Hey, what should we do? [13:11] Kaz     We've already hit a roadblock. [13:13] Kaz     Normally we'd get a minimal     amount of equipment [13:16] Kaz     and enough to cover basic     living expenses, at least. [13:19] Kaz     This is totally inhospitable. [13:20] Aqua     There goes your reliability, just like that. [13:23] Aqua     Well, I guess it was inevitable.     You are a shut-in NEET. [13:26] Kaz     Don't call me a shut-in NEET. [13:27] Aqua     Fine. I guess it's my turn now. [13:30] Aqua     Let me show you what a goddess can do! [13:36] Aqua     You there, priest! State your denomination! [13:40] Aqua     I'm Aqua. [13:41] Aqua     Yes, the object of worship for the     Religious Order of Axis: the goddess Aqua! [13:46] Aqua     If thou art one of my followers... [13:50] Aqua     It'd be a huge help if you     could lend me some money! [13:54] Priest     I'm in the Eris Sect, actually... [13:59] Aqua     Oh, you are? I'm sorry. [14:03] Priest     Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Sect? [14:07] Priest     The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and     Eris is that of superior and subordinate. [14:11] Priest     This must be fate. I saw earlier that     you couldn't cover the fee, correct? [14:17] Priest     Here. Please consider this     Eris-sama's divine blessing. [14:21] Priest     Still, no matter how devout a believer you     are, you mustn't call yourself a goddess. [14:25] Aqua     Uh, yes. I'm sorry. [14:28] Aqua     Thank you very much... [14:33] Aqua     He didn't even believe that I'm a goddess. [14:36] Aqua     By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me. [14:41] Aqua     A believer in my subordinate took pity on me [14:46] Aqua     and lent me money... [14:48] Kaz     Y-Yeah... [14:56] Kaz     Um, we've brought the registration fee. [15:00] Luna     S-Sure... [15:02] Kaz     Something told me she didn't want     to make eye contact with us. [15:06] Luna     Allow me to formally explain. [15:08] Luna     Adventurers each have their own occupations. [15:12] Luna     This is your registration card. [15:15] Luna     It keeps track of how many     monsters you've vanquished. [15:18] Luna     As your level increases, you'll earn     points that you can use to learn skills, [15:23] Luna     so please work hard to raise your level. [15:25] Luna     Now, both of you, please hold     your hands over this crystal. [15:30] Kaz     Like this? [15:46] Luna     With this, you will each     learn your current status, [15:49] Luna     so please choose your desired     occupation based on your stats. [15:53] Kaz     Here it comes! [15:54] Kaz     Now my tremendous latent     abilities will be made apparent, [15:57] Kaz     and there'll be an uproar     throughout the guild! [16:03] Luna     Yes, thank you very much. [16:06] Luna     Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see... [16:10] Luna     Average across the board. [16:12] Luna     With the exception of     decently high intelligence... [16:14] Luna     Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high. [16:17] Luna     Of course, luck isn't a very     essential stat for an adventurer... [16:21] Luna     With this much luck, [16:23] Luna     I'd recommend becoming a     merchant or something similar... [16:27] Kaz     Hey, she's disapproving of my adventurer's     lifestyle right off the bat. [16:30] Kaz     What's going on? [16:32] Kaz     U-Um, [16:34] Kaz     make my primary job "adventurer," please. [16:36] Luna     W-Well, you can always     change jobs when you level up! [16:41] Kaz     Y-You're right! [16:43] Kaz     The weakest job, huh? [16:49] Luna     Aside from your intelligence     being below average, [16:51] Luna     and your luck being the     lowest possible level, [16:53] Luna     all of your stats are     drastically above average! [16:57] Aqua     What? Does that mean I'm really amazing? [16:59] Luna     A-Amazing is an understatement! [17:03] Luna     The mage class, which requires     intelligence, is out of the question, [17:06] Luna     but other than that,     you can be anything you want! [17:08] Luna     A crusader, sword master, arch priest... [17:12] Luna     Nearly any advanced class right from the start! [17:14] Aqua     I see. It's a shame there's     no "goddess" occupation, [17:18] Aqua     but in my case, maybe I'll be an     arch priest who heals her allies. [17:21] Luna     An arch priest! [17:23] Luna     An almighty class that commands     all recovery and support magic, [17:27] Luna     and that boasts enough strength     to stand at the front line! [17:36] Luna     Without further ado, welcome to     our adventurer's guild, Aqua-sama. [17:40] Luna     All of our staff will be looking     forward to your future exploits. [17:45] A     Starting off as an arch priest is incredible! [17:49] Man     Someone like you might actually be able     to beat the Devil King, you reckless girl! [17:54] Kaz     No event like this is going to happen for me? [17:57] Aqua     It's the adventurer's life for     us starting today, Kazuma! [18:00] Kaz     I thought you absolutely hated all this. [18:03] Aqua     Did I? [18:12] Kaz     Well, anyway, everything thus far has     been basically character creation. [18:17] Kaz     Now our adventure is finally about to begin! [20:08] Kaz     Wait, this isn't right! [20:09] Aqua     What isn't? [20:11] Kaz     No, wait a second! [20:13] Aqua     What's wrong? Did you forget to     use the bathroom before bed? [20:16] Aqua     It's dark. Want me to go with you? [20:18] Kaz     No need! It's not that! [20:21] Lady     Keep it down! [20:23] Both     W-We're sorry! [20:29] Kaz     We didn't come here to be laborers. [20:31] Aqua     Oh, that's right! [20:34] Aqua     I need you to defeat the Devil King,     or I'll never be able to go home! [20:44] Kaz     Her intelligence stat was     lower than a human's. [20:49] Kaz     All of the monsters near town have     been long since exterminated. [20:51] Kaz     With no monsters, there's no need     for anyone to give us any fetch quests. [20:57] Kaz     I didn't want to learn something so realistic... [21:00] Lady     Thanks for your business! [21:15] Aqua     What? [21:20] Kaz     It's nothing. [21:22] Aqua     Say... [21:24] Aqua     I was just thinking. [21:26] Aqua     Let's go away from here and do a kill quest. [21:29] Kaz     We're level one. We don't even     have full sets of equipment. [21:32] Aqua     It'll be fine. As long as you have     me around, it'll be over in a flash! [21:37] Aqua     You can count on it! [21:39] Kaz     I feel very uneasy about this. [21:41] Aqua     Who do you think I am? [21:44] Kaz     That's right. You are a goddess, after all. [21:48] Aqua     Yeah! Leave it to me. [21:52] Kaz     And so our adventure began, [21:55] Kaz     for real this... time. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 1 SIGN    "This Self-Proclaimed Goddess and Reincarnation in Another World!" SIGN    Mom, I've come to a parallel world. I feel refreshed, as if I've been reborn. I've found a home and a job, and I'm full of energy. And best of all, a goddess has come along with me. So please don't worry about me. I'll be all right... I'll be all right... Probably... SIGN    Episode 2 SIGN    An Explosion For This Chuunibyou! E2 - An Explosion for This Chuunibyo! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:19] Kaz     This isn't how I imagined     life in a parallel world would be. [00:23] Kaz     Income is unstable for a beginner adventurer, [00:27] Kaz     so sleeping in a stable is normal... [00:31] Kaz     Now that I think about it, adventurers are [00:33] Kaz     basically insignificant,     job-hopping part-timers. [00:37] Kaz     Job-hoppers can't even [00:38] Kaz     afford to stay in hotels in     a place as affluent as Japan. [00:43] Kaz     Minimum wage? [00:44] Kaz     Fair labor standards? [00:46] Kaz     What are those? Are they tasty? [00:52] Aqua     Good morning. [00:54] Kaz     Don't "good morning" me. [00:56] Kaz     It's almost noon. [00:58] Kaz     Weren't we going on a kill quest? [01:02] Aqua     Once I realized we didn't have to go to our     construction job, I couldn't help myself. [01:07] Kaz     What happened to her saying     I could "count on" her yesterday? [01:10] Kaz     So, wasn't this world supposed to be under [01:13] Kaz     attack by the Devil King, and in a huge crisis? [01:15] Kaz     This is as peaceful as it gets! [01:17] Kaz     There's no sign of evil influence anywhere. [01:20] Aqua     This is the furthest city     from the Devil King's castle. [01:23] Aqua     Besides, he wouldn't go out of     his way to attack a city with [01:26] Aqua     nothing but novice adventurers in it. [01:29] Kaz     I guess... [01:30] Aqua     Now, let's go on that kill quest! [01:34] Aqua     You can count on me! [01:37] Kaz     Something tells me you said     something similar yesterday. [01:41] Kaz     But it is true that you're a goddess. [01:44] Kaz     I'm counting on you. [01:45] Kaz     All right, let's put together the most     basic equipment we can and head out. [01:49] Aqua     Yeah! [01:51] Stable     How long are you gonna hang around?!     You wanna get walloped?! [01:54] Both     W-We're sorry! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 2 SIGN    "An Explosion for This Chunibyo!" SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Defeat 5 "Giant Toads"     In 3 Days SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Kill Quest [03:41] Kaz     Save me, Aqua! [03:44] Kaz     Save me— Whoa! [03:47] Aqua     Oh, man, this is hysterical! [03:49] Aqua     Kazuma, your face is red and     you have tears in your eyes! [03:52] Aqua     You look super desperate! [03:54] Kaz     I'll bury her later, before I head home! [03:57] Kaz     Giant Toads. [03:59] Kaz     These guys can't be dismissed as simple frogs. [04:02] Kaz     When mating season comes, [04:03] Kaz     they show up in settlements with lots of prey, [04:06] Kaz     and swallow the farmers' goats whole [04:08] Kaz     to build up strength in     preparation to lay their eggs. [04:12] Kaz     In fact, farmers and children     from the settlement [04:15] Kaz     tend to go missing during these     frogs' mating season every year. [04:20] Kaz     By the way, their meat is somewhat tough, [04:22] Kaz     but it's so light and refreshing [04:24] Kaz     that it's a highly coveted ingredient. [04:27] Aqua     Kazuma! [04:29] Aqua     If you want me to save you, [04:30] Aqua     why don't you start by adding     "san" to the end of my name?! [04:34] Kaz     Aqua-sama! [04:36] Aqua     I guess I have no choice. [04:38] Aqua     I'll help you out, you shut-in NEET! [04:40] Aqua     In return, you'd better worship     me from tomorrow onward! [04:44] Kaz     Huh? [04:45] Aqua     When we get back to town,     join the Axis Sect [04:48] Aqua     and pray to me three times a day. [04:50] Aqua     At meal time, when I say "Gimme," [04:52] Aqua     you'll hand your food     over without resistance. [04:55] Aqua     And— [05:02] Kaz     Don't get eaten! [05:06] Both     KONOSUBA! [05:11] Kaz     Good thing the frog stopped moving     around while it was eating you. [05:19] Aqua     Thank you, Kazuma! [05:22] Aqua     Thank you! [05:23] Aqua     Thank you so much! [05:27] Kaz     She smells disgusting! [05:29] Kaz     Um, let's head back for today. [05:31] Kaz     These guys are more than we can handle. [05:35] Kaz     Let's do this after we get     more equipment together. [05:39] Aqua     I'm all dirty now. [05:42] Aqua     If the followers of Axis     see me sullied like this, [05:45] Aqua     I'll lose their devotion! [05:47] Aqua     If it gets out that I backed     down from a lowly frog, [05:50] Aqua     the name of the beautiful and stunning     Aqua-sama will fall by the wayside! [05:54] Kaz     She's normally happy as can be to work     up a sweat with the older workers, [05:58] Kaz     and looks forward to her post-bath dinner [06:00] Kaz     and a good, hard drink most of all. [06:03] Kaz     She even drools while she sleeps in the stable. [06:06] Kaz     It's a little late to complain     about being "dirty"... [06:11] Kaz     Hey! Wait, Aqua! [06:12] Aqua     Feel the power of the gods! [06:15] Aqua     Regret that you ever stood in my path [06:17] Aqua     and bared your fangs at the gods, [06:19] Aqua     and repent in the pits of Hell! [06:22] Aqua     God Blow! [06:25] Aqua     "God Blow" is a lethal fist that carries     a goddess's rage and sorrow! [06:30] Aqua     Any it strikes will perish! [06:38] Aqua     N-Now that I have a good look at you,     I think frogs are pretty cute. [06:43] Kaz     Aqua! SIGN    2 Giant Toads Killed SIGN    Today's Results SIGN    Eris [06:59] Man     Miss, another over here! [07:02] Aqua     There's no way the two of us     can take them on alone. [07:04] Aqua     Let's recruit more allies! [07:05] Kaz     5,000 eris per frog... [07:09] Kaz     We risked our lives and earned no more     than part-time construction work pays. [07:13] Aqua     This is surprisingly tasty. [07:15] Aqua     It's a little tough, but the texture's quite nice. [07:18] Kaz     You say "allies," [07:20] Kaz     but we're beginners with     no decent equipment. [07:22] Kaz     Do you really think anyone     will party up with us? [07:24] Aqua     You've got me here, so allies— [07:26] Kaz     Swallow your food!     Swallow your food, then talk! [07:30] Aqua     I'm an arch priest, the most     advanced job there is! [07:33] Aqua     Anyone would kill to have me in their party! [07:37] Aqua     If I offhandedly decided to recruit members, [07:39] Aqua     there'd be tons of people saying,     "Please! Take me with you!" [07:43] Aqua     Now that we've got that straight,     hand me another piece of fried frog! [07:47] Kaz     Oh? SIGN    The Next Day [07:59] Aqua     Nobody's coming. [08:03] Kaz     More than half a day passed after     we posted the recruitment offer, [08:06] Kaz     but no prospective future heroes showed up. [08:08] 1     No way. [08:09] 2     You said it. [08:11] Aqua     Immediate opening!     We're a cozy, harmonious party. [08:14] Aqua     Any adventurers who wish to journey with [08:17] Aqua     the beautiful and noble arch priest,     Aqua-sama, need look no further! [08:20] Aqua(ReviewA)     I've been happy every day     since I joined this party. [08:23] Aqua(ReviewA)     I definitely hit the jackpot! [08:26] Aqua(ReviewB)     I got over my illness and became popular, [08:28] Aqua(ReviewB)     all thanks to joining Aqua-sama's party! [08:31] Aqua     Hiring requirements: adventurers     in advanced job classes only. [08:37] Kaz     Hey, let's lower the bar a little. [08:40] Kaz     Recruiting only members in     advanced jobs is way too strict. [08:44] Aqua     But... But... [08:46] Kaz     At this rate, not a single person will come. [08:49] Kaz     I mean, you might have an advanced job,     but I'm still in the weakest. [08:54] Kaz     I'll feel ashamed if I'm completely     surrounded by the elite. [08:56] Megu     I happened to notice your recruitment poster. [09:02] Megu     That we would meet is a fate     chosen by the world itself. [09:05] Megu     I have anxiously awaited the arrival     of those such as yourselves. [09:14] Megu     My name is Megumin! [09:16] Megu     My calling is that of an arch wizard, [09:18] Megu     one who controls explosion magic, [09:19] Megu     the strongest of all offensive magic! [09:25] Kaz     Um... [09:28] Megu     Do you, too, desire my forbidden strength, [09:29] Megu     which is so almighty, I've been     ostracized by the entire world? [09:33] Kaz     Huh? [09:35] Megu     Then show me thine resolve to peer     into the ultimate abyss with me! [09:40] Megu     When man stares into the abyss,     the abyss stares back. [09:47] Kaz     Are you just here to poke fun at us? [09:48] Megu     N-No! [09:51] Aqua     That red eye... Are you a crimson demon? [09:55] Megu     Indeed! I am Megumin, user of the     finest magic crimson demons possess! [09:59] Megu     My lethal magic demolishes mountains, [10:03] Megu     smashes boulders... [10:07] Kaz     Hey, what's wrong?! [10:12] Megu     I haven't eaten anything in three days. [10:15] Megu     Do you have anything I could eat? [10:18] Kaz     I don't mind treating you, [10:20] Kaz     but what's with the eyepatch? [10:22] Kaz     If you're injured, why don't     we have her heal you? [10:25] Kaz     Her one strong suit is healing magic. [10:28] Aqua     My "one"?! [10:30] Megu     This is the magic item that     suppresses my mighty magical powers. [10:35] Megu     If I were ever to take this off, [10:37] Megu     a great catastrophe would     surely befall this world... [10:41] Kaz     So it's like a seal? [10:44] Megu     Well, that was a lie. [10:46] Megu     I just wear it for looks. [10:49] Megu     I'm sorry! Please don't pull on it! [10:52] Megu     Stop... Stop it! [10:54] Aqua     You know, [10:55] Megu     Please cut it out! [10:55] Aqua     crimson demons are born with high     intelligence, and possess magical powers. [10:56] Megu     Actually, it'll hurt if you just let go, [10:59] Megu     so please just slowly put it back where it was. [11:00] Aqua     Generally, they're all expert magicians, [11:02] Aqua     and all have weird names. [11:03] Megu     That's right, slowly, slowly... [11:05] Kaz     Oh? [11:06] Megu     Ow! My eye! [11:09] Kaz     Sorry. I thought you were making fun of us. [11:12] Kaz     You were talking gibberish     and gave us that weird name. [11:16] Megu     Calling my name weird is rude. [11:18] Megu     From my point of view, it's everyone     else in town who has a weird name. [11:23] Kaz     By the way, what are your parents' names? [11:25] Megu     My mother is Yuiyui and     my father is Hyoizaburo! [11:32] Kaz     So this girl's clan has a lot     of good magicians, right? [11:36] Megu     Hey! If you've got something to say     about my parents' names, let's hear it! [11:40] Megu     Hyoizaburo! [11:48] Aqua     Adventurer cards can't be forged. [11:50] Aqua     She's an arch wizard for sure. [11:54] Aqua     It's an advanced job that commands     powerful offensive magic! [11:56] Kaz     Yeah, this girl's magic stat is high... [12:00] Aqua     Also, if she really can use explosion     magic, then that's amazing! [12:05] Aqua     It's the most advanced attack magic there is! [12:08] Megu     Hey, don't call me "this girl" and "she." [12:11] Megu     I'd prefer you called me by name. [12:18] Kaz     Well, go ahead and order     something, "arch wizard." SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Defeat 5 "Giant Toads" In 3 Days SIGN    Quest Progress 2/5 [12:29] Megu     Explosion magic is the strongest magic. [12:32] Megu     But that also means it takes time to prepare. [12:36] Megu     Please keep that frog at bay until     my preparations are complete. [12:40] Kaz     Right. I'll do it. [12:43] Aqua     Kazuma, there's another over there! [12:45] Kaz     Two at once? [12:49] Kaz     Target the frog in the distance with your magic. [12:52] Megu     Understood. [12:53] Kaz     As for the closer one... [12:54] Kaz     Hey, let's go, Aqua. [12:56] Kaz     You are a former something-or-other, right? [12:58] Kaz     Show off some of your former ability. [13:01] Aqua     What do you mean "former"?! [13:02] Aqua     I am a goddess! Present tense! [13:05] Megu     Goddess? [13:07] Kaz     Oh, she just calls herself one. It's rather sad. [13:10] Kaz     She blurts out stuff like this at times, [13:12] Kaz     but it's best not to pay it any mind. [13:14] Megu     How sad... [13:16] Aqua     Wh-What?! These frogs may be     strong against physical attacks, [13:20] Aqua     but this time for sure... [13:22] Aqua     Watch this, Kazuma! [13:23] Aqua     I'll show you the powers of     a goddess today for sure! [13:27] Aqua     Tremble before me and fall asleep! [13:29] Aqua     God Requiem! [13:31] Aqua     "God Requiem" is a goddess's     requiem of love and sorrow! [13:35] Aqua     Any it strikes will perish! [13:44] Kaz     That's a goddess for you. [13:45] Kaz     She put her life on the line to buy us time. [13:50] Megu     Darkness blacker than black     and darker than dark, [13:53] Megu     I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. [13:56] Megu     The time of awakening cometh. [13:58] Megu     Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, [14:01] Megu     appear now as an intangible distortion! [14:03] Megu     Dance, dance, dance! [14:06] Megu     I desire for my torrent of     power a destructive force: [14:09] Megu     a destructive force without equal! [14:12] Megu     Return all creation to cinders, [14:14] Megu     and come from the abyss! [14:16] Megu     This is the mightiest means     of attack known to man, [14:20] Megu     the ultimate attack magic! Explosion! [14:48] Kaz     Wow... [14:50] Kaz     So this is magic? [14:57] Kaz     Did the explosion wake it up? [15:00] Kaz     Megumin! Let's back off for now and— [15:04] Kaz     Huh? [15:06] Megu     While my mystic art, explosion magic, [15:08] Megu     possesses tremendous might, [15:10] Megu     it also consumes tremendous magical power. [15:13] Megu     In short, [15:15] Megu     I used magic exceeding my limits, [15:18] Megu     so now I can't move a muscle. [15:20] Kaz     Huh? [15:22] Megu     I never expected a frog to pop up so close by. [15:26] Megu     This is bad. [15:27] Megu     I'm going to be eaten. [15:28] Megu     Sorry, could you help me ou— [15:35] Kaz     Y-You guys! Don't get eaten! SIGN    Killed 3 Giant Toads SIGN    Today's Results SIGN    Successfully Defeated 5 Total SIGN    Quest Complete [15:48] ---     Wow! Check out this tadpole! [15:50] ---     Whoa, it's huge! [15:53] Aqua     I stink... I stink! [15:57] Megu     The inside of a frog stinks, [15:59] Megu     but it feels nice and warm... [16:02] Kaz     That's information I didn't need to know. [16:05] Kaz     You're banned from using explosion     magic, except in emergencies. [16:09] Kaz     Just do your best with some     other magic from now on. [16:12] Megu     I can't. [16:13] Kaz     Huh? [16:15] Megu     I can only use explosion magic. [16:17] Megu     I can't use any other type of magic. [16:21] Kaz     For real? [16:23] Megu     For real. [16:27] Girl     Hey, wait right there! [16:29] Aqua     Huh? [16:30] Aqua     If your level is high enough     to use explosion magic, [16:32] Aqua     shouldn't you be able     to use other magic, too? [16:35] Aqua     Even I didn't learn all the arch priest spells [16:39] Aqua     until after I learned the party trick skills. [16:42] Kaz     What the heck would you use     "party trick" skills for? [16:44] Megu     I'm an arch wizard who loves     explosion magic above all else. [16:48] Megu     I don't like any other magic     in the detonation family. [16:52] Megu     I only like explosion magic! [16:54] Megu     I could, of course, easily go on     adventures if I learned other magic, [16:58] Megu     but that just won't do! [16:59] Megu     I only love explosion magic! [17:02] Megu     Even if only one use per day is my limit, [17:04] Megu     or I collapse after using my magic, [17:07] Megu     explosion magic is still     the only magic I'll ever love! [17:10] Megu     After all, I chose the path of an arch wizard [17:13] Megu     solely so I could use explosion magic! [17:19] Aqua     Wonderful! Simply wonderful! [17:21] Aqua     Inefficient though it is,     I'm moved by your romantic pursuit! [17:26] Kaz     Damn, this magician's hopeless. [17:30] Kaz     The fact that Aqua sympathizes     with her proves it. [17:34] Kaz     Based on these two fights, [17:36] Kaz     I highly suspect this goddess     is completely useless, too. [17:41] Kaz     Frankly, I don't need any more     problem children to put up with. [17:45] Kaz     I see! [17:47] Kaz     I'm sure the path ahead of you     will be thorny, but do your best! [17:49] Kaz     Once we reach the guild,     we'll split the reward evenly, [17:51] Kaz     then when we get a chance,     let's meet up somewhere— [17:54] Megu     My only desire is to use my explosion magic. [17:58] Megu     I'd be fine with going unpaid if need be. [18:01] Megu     Yes, an arch wizard's     mighty power can be yours, [18:04] Megu     for the low cost of food and sundries! [18:07] Megu     What choice do you have but to make     a long-term contract with me? [18:10] Kaz     No, no, no. [18:12] Kaz     Such mighty power would be wasted on a     puny party of novice adventurers like us. [18:17] Megu     No, no, no. [18:18] Megu     It's fine, even if you are puny or novices! [18:21] Megu     I have an advanced job,     but I'm only level six. [18:24] Megu     Hey, I wish you wouldn't     try to tear my hand away! [18:27] Kaz     No, no, no, no. [18:28] Kaz     What kind of magician can     only use a spell once a day?! [18:33] Kaz     This girl's got a surprisingly     strong grip, for a magician! [18:36] Kaz     Hey, let go! [18:37] Kaz     You got dumped by another party, didn't you?! [18:40] Kaz     I said let go! [18:41] Kaz     Heck, if we go into a dungeon, there won't     be enough room to use explosion magic! [18:45] Kaz     You get more useless by the second! [18:46] Aqua     Hey, stop! You're getting it on my face! [18:48] Megu     No other parties will take me anymore! [18:52] Megu     I'll carry your stuff,     or whatever else you need! [18:54] Megu     I'm begging you! Please don't abandon me! [18:56] A     How awful. That man's going     to abandon a little girl! [19:00] B     And he's got a girl covered     in snot beside him. [19:03] A     Toying with such a little girl, then     discarding her? What a scumbag! [19:06] C     Look! Both those girls are all slimy! [19:10] C     What sort of acts did that     pervert perform on them?! [19:13] Kaz     I-It's not like that! [19:21] Megu     I'm fine with whatever erotic acts you like! [19:25] Megu     I'll show you I can even endure that     slimy act we used those frogs for! [19:28] Kaz     All right, I get it! [19:30] Kaz     Glad to have you aboard! [19:32] All     KONOSUBA! [19:37] Luna     I've confirmed that you     have completed your quest. [19:39] Luna     Thank you for your hard work. [19:41] Kaz     I went up four levels all at once. [19:44] Kaz     You really do get stronger just     by defeating some monsters... [19:48] Luna     The newer the adventurer,     the faster you'll grow. [19:51] Luna     Now then, adding up the     sale of the giant toads [19:54] Luna     and your quest completion reward, [19:56] Luna     your total comes to 110,000 eris. [19:59] Luna     Please verify the amount. [20:05] Kaz     110,000... Split between three people, [20:09] Kaz     that comes to around 36,000 eris each. [20:15] Kaz     We nearly lost our lives for     a reward of 36,000 each. [20:19] Kaz     It's not worth it. [20:21] Kaz     I checked the other quests just in case, but... [20:24] A     I want someone to search     for my lost pet white wolf. [20:28] B     I want someone to teach     my son swordsmanship. [20:30] B     Requirements: rune knights     or sword masters only. [20:34] C     Looking for a practice partner     for magical experiments. [20:37] C     Requirements: must have high HP or     confidence in their magic resistance! [20:42] Kaz     Yeah, it's no use. [20:48] Kaz     I want to go back to Japan. [20:50] Kaz     The ally we recruited is a lost cause. [20:53] Kaz     Living in this world isn't gonna be easy. [20:56] Dark     I happened to see your recruitment poster. [21:01] Dark     Are you still recruiting party members? [21:06] Kaz     Um... [21:08] Kaz     We are! [21:10] Kaz     Though, I wouldn't really recommend it... [21:14] Kaz     A female knight. [21:15] Kaz     An extraordinarily beautiful one at that! [21:18] Kaz     She's such a gorgeous older     woman, I got so nervous [21:21] Kaz     that my voice squeaked a little. [21:24] Kaz     It's an adverse effect of     my long life as a shut-in! [21:27] Dark     I see. Thank goodness. [21:30] Dark     I have anxiously awaited the arrival     of someone such as yourself. [21:39] Dark     My name is Darkness. [21:42] Dark     My calling is that of a crusader. [21:51] Dark     Please let... Please let me... [21:55] Dark     j-j-join your party! SIGN    Dad, I've gotten totally used to my life here in this parallel world. My days are busy, spent with my dependable companions. Work is going well, and I've been commended, saying I'll be promoted extraordinarily quickly. I'm so content with life that I never feel exhausted, lonely, or resentful. It's true. I'm telling the truth, okay? SIGN    Episode 3 SIGN    A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand! E3 - A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] Dark     My name is Darkness. [00:03] Dark     My calling is that of a crusader. [00:06] Dark     Would you please... [00:09] Dark     Would you please let me join your p-p-party? [00:16] Kaz     Um... [00:18] Dark     Those two slimy ladies earlier     were allies of yours, right? [00:21] Dark     What in the world did that to them? [00:23] Kaz     Oh, uh... [00:24] Kaz     They were swallowed by     Giant Toads, and the mucus— [00:27] Dark     What?! [00:28] Dark     It's worse than I imagined... [00:31] Kaz     What's with this woman knight? [00:33] Dark     No, wait! [00:35] Dark     As a knight, I cannot overlook     such horrors befalling two girls [00:38] Dark     of such a tender age! [00:40] Kaz     Her eyes are scaring me... [00:41] Kaz     She's setting off my danger radar. [00:44] Kaz     It's telling me something's up with her,     just like Aqua and Megumin. [00:48] Kaz     No, I'd advise against it. [00:51] Kaz     It's hard to say how useful     one of our members is, [00:53] Kaz     another can only use her magic once per day, [00:56] Kaz     and I'm the lowest job class. [00:58] Kaz     Our party's total trash, [00:59] Kaz     so I'd recommend you look elsewhe— Ow, ow, ow! [01:02] Dark     That's even better! [01:04] Dark     The truth is, this was a bit     difficult for me to say, [01:09] Dark     but while I have confidence in my     strength and stamina, I am clumsy... [01:14] Dark     So, um... [01:15] Dark     None of my attacks ever hit their mark. [01:18] Kaz     Looks like my sensor was spot-on. [01:21] Dark     As such, [01:23] Dark     I'll charge to the front line, [01:25] Dark     so please use me as a shield! [01:26] Kaz     Her face is too close! [01:28] Kaz     The negative effects of my long life     as a shut-in are kicking in now?! [01:32] Kaz     No, that isn't it! [01:33] Kaz     This is just too stimulating for     an adolescent virgin like me! [01:36] Kaz     Stay calm... Don't be seduced     by her womanly charms! [01:40] Kaz     No. [01:41] Kaz     I could never use a woman as a shield. [01:44] Dark     It would be my pleasure! [01:46] Kaz     Well, we get eaten by     monsters in every battle. [01:48] Dark     That would be even more my pleasure! [01:52] Kaz     Oh, I get it. [01:54] Kaz     It's not just her abilities.     She's hopeless to the core. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 3 SIGN    "A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand!" [03:33] Kaz     I was so worn out, I slept until noon... [03:35] Aqua     Hup! [03:39] Aqua     There! [03:46] Aqua     Thank you! Thank you! [03:47] Aqua     Thank you! [03:49] Aqua     Oh, look, Kazuma! [03:51] Aqua     What do you think of my newly acquired skill? [03:53] Aqua     Isn't it befitting of a     water goddess like myself? [03:57] Kaz     Isn't that a party trick skill,     you low-grade goddess? [04:00] Aqua     KONOSUBA! [04:03] Kaz     You can learn skills with the     points you've saved up, huh? [04:07] Kaz     I'll have to be careful not to     use them on any weird skills. [04:14] Megu     First you get someone to     teach you how to use a skill. [04:18] Megu     Then the entry will appear on your card. [04:22] Megu     If you use your points on that entry,     you'll finish learning it. [04:25] Kaz     Does that mean if I have you teach me, [04:28] Kaz     I could learn to use explosion magic, too? [04:31] Megu     Exactly! [04:32] Megu     That's exactly right, Kazuma! [04:34] Megu     If you want to learn explosion magic, [04:35] Megu     I'll teach you as much as you want! [04:37] Megu     Heck, is there any other skill     more worthwhile to learn? [04:41] Megu     No, there certainly is not! [04:43] Megu     Come, now, and walk the     path of explosions with me! [04:47] Kaz     Her face is too close... [04:49] Kaz     Hey, calm... calm down, little girl! [04:53] Kaz     Besides, I only have three points right now... [04:55] Megu     L-Little girl? [04:58] Kaz     Huh? [05:08] Megu     I'm a little girl? [05:12] Kaz     I wonder if there's some quick and easy skill... [05:15] Kaz     One that'll be a good value,     that doesn't take many points to learn. [05:18] Dark     I've been looking for you. [05:22] Kaz     Oh, no! [05:24] Dark     You said you had too much to drink yesterday [05:26] Dark     and headed straight home... [05:27] Kaz     N-No need to worry! [05:29] Kaz     I was trying to turn her down gently. [05:32] Kaz     Looks like my intentions didn't     get through to her at all! [05:35] Dark     Shall we continue where our     conversation left off yesterday? [05:38] Dark     Please let me join your party— [05:40] Kaz     I refuse. [05:44] Dark     Such a snap decision! [05:46] Kaz     Huh? That made her happy? [05:48] Kaz     She's dangerous! [05:51] Chris     That won't do, Darkness. [05:53] Chris     You can't be so pushy. [05:55] Kaz     Um, and you are? [05:57] Chris     I'm Chris, a thief, as you can see. [06:01] Chris     This girl is my friend, I guess? [06:03] Kaz     Thank goodness. [06:04] Kaz     This one seems like a     relatively competent person. [06:06] Chris     You seem to be in need of a useful skill. [06:10] Chris     How about a thief skill? [06:12] Kaz     Huh? [06:13] Chris     It takes very few points to learn,     so it's a good value. [06:16] Chris     I'm sure it would come in handy. [06:18] Chris     How about it? [06:19] Chris     If you act now, I'll do it     for the cost of a drink. [06:21] Kaz     That's cheap! [06:22] Kaz     All right, please do! [06:24] Kaz     Excuse me! One ice-cold drink     for this lady over here! [06:30] Chris     KONOSUBA! [06:33] Chris     So, [06:34] Chris     there are all sorts of thief skills,     like "Enemy Detection" and "Lurk," [06:38] Chris     but I recommend this one in particular. [06:40] Chris     Here I go. Watch carefully. [06:42] Kaz     Right! I'm ready, Chris-san! [06:45] Chris     Steal! [06:56] Kaz     Hey! My coin pouch! [06:59] Chris     This is the thief skill "Steal." [07:01] Chris     If it's successful, you can take     possession of your opponent's property. [07:04] Chris     So that's how you use it. [07:07] ---     Huh... [07:10] Chris     Hey, want to have a showdown? [07:13] Chris     Learn this thief skill yourself, [07:15] Chris     then steal this pouch back from me. [07:17] Dark     Hey, isn't that overdoing it a bit? [07:20] Chris     He's an adventurer, isn't he? [07:22] Chris     Crossing dangerous bridges     comes with the territory. [07:26] Kaz     A high tuition fee, huh? [07:29] Kaz     Still, [07:30] Kaz     this is exactly the sort of exchange between     rowdy adventurers that I've been craving! [07:35] Kaz     At long last, [07:36] Kaz     it's my first adventure-like event     since coming to this world! [07:40] Kaz     Sure! [07:41] Chris     Then it's settled. [07:42] Chris     Use your adventurer card     and acquire the skill. [07:46] Chris     The skills you learned from me     should be displayed there. [07:50] Kaz     Enemy Detection: one point. [07:52] Kaz     Lurk: one point. [07:54] Kaz     Pilfer: one point. [07:56] Kaz     Nature's Beauty... [07:57] Kaz     "Nature's Beauty"? [07:59] Dark     Oh... [08:00] Dark     That's the party trick skill     your ally used earlier. [08:05] Kaz     Five points for a measly party trick? [08:07] Kaz     That's steep! [08:08] Kaz     Yeah, I won't need this. [08:31] Chris     Okay! The thief skills you chose are now yours! [08:34] Chris     Come at me anytime! [08:35] Kaz     All right! [08:37] Kaz     Whatever I steal from you,     don't cry about it! [08:40] Chris     A success will net you this magic dagger. [08:42] Chris     It's a fine item that wouldn't go     for less than 400,000 eris. [08:45] Kaz     Wow! [08:46] Chris     And the consolation prize will be... [08:48] Chris     These rocks! [08:50] Kaz     That's dirty! [08:53] Chris     This will greatly lower the odds     that you'll nab the dagger. [08:56] Kaz     Damn. [08:57] Kaz     This really was enlightening. [08:59] Kaz     This isn't Japan. [09:01] Kaz     It's survival of the fittest in this world. [09:03] Kaz     Any gullible fool who gets     tricked has himself to blame. [09:07] Kaz     I'll do it! [09:09] Kaz     Steal! [09:16] Kaz     All right! Looks like it worked! [09:24] Kaz     What's this? [09:27] Kaz     Oh! This is just as great a success! [09:31] Kaz     I hit the jackpot! [09:34] Chris     No! G-Give me back my panties! [09:45] Dark     Wh-What a savage act. [09:48] Dark     It appears my eyes didn't lead me astray! [09:52] Kaz     KONOSUBA! [09:54] Megu     Oh, Kazuma. [09:56] Aqua     Where have you been? [09:57] Aqua     You missed my dazzling tricks. [10:00] Aqua     Wait, what's with her? [10:02] Kaz     Actually... [10:03] Dark     Indeed. [10:04] Dark     She's just depressed because,     when she taught Kazuma thief skills, [10:07] Dark     her panties were stripped off, then all     the money she had on her was taken. [10:12] Kaz     Hey, what are you blurting out?! [10:14] Chris     He said giving back his coin     pouch wouldn't be enough, [10:16] Chris     so I said I'd pay any price [10:18] Chris     if he'd just return my panties... [10:21] Chris     But then he told me to decide     what they were worth on my own! [10:24] Kaz     Whoa, hold on! Hold on! [10:26] Kaz     You're not wrong, but seriously, hold on! [10:28] Chris     He said if I didn't, they'd be revered [10:31] Chris     within his family as an heirloom from now on! [10:34] Kaz     Hey! [10:35] Kaz     The eyes of every female adventurer     around us are turning stone-cold! [10:40] Kaz     Seriously, wait a second! [10:42] Megu     So, Kazuma, were you able to learn     the thief skills without any trouble? [10:48] Kaz     Well, see for yourself. [10:49] Kaz     Here I go! [10:50] Kaz     Steal! [11:05] Kaz     What's this? [11:07] Megu     What happened? [11:08] Megu     Did your stats go up with your level, [11:11] Megu     allowing you to change jobs     from "adventurer" to "pervert"? [11:15] Megu     Um, it's a bit drafty,     so please give me back my panties. [11:19] Aqua     Kazuma, you... [11:21] Kaz     H-Huh? That's strange. [11:22] Kaz     What you steal should be random... [11:24] Dark     To strip such a young girl of her panties [11:27] Dark     in a public place is truly savage! [11:29] Dark     I can't let this pass! [11:32] Dark     You must let me join your party! [11:35] Kaz     No, thanks. [11:40] Kaz     This chick is definitely the hopeless type. [11:43] Kaz     I can't let any more weirdos into our party. [11:46] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma. [11:47] Aqua     Is this the person you mentioned [11:49] Aqua     who came for an interview while Megumin     and I were in the bath yesterday? [11:53] Dark     KONOSUBA! [11:56] Megu     Hey, this lady is a crusader! [11:59] Megu     We shouldn't have any     reason to turn her down. [12:03] Kaz     Crap... [12:04] Megu     Look at this. She's a crusader. [12:04] Kaz     I really didn't want to     let these two meet her. [12:08] Kaz     All right, I guess I can play that card. [12:11] Kaz     Darkness, [12:12] Kaz     there's something I have to tell you. [12:16] Kaz     The thing is... [12:18] Kaz     Aqua and I may not look like much, [12:20] Kaz     but we seriously intend to defeat the Devil King. [12:23] Aqua     Uh-huh. [12:24] Chris     Oh? [12:25] Megu     You do? [12:26] Aqua     Yeah. Awesome, isn't it? [12:28] Kaz     Our adventure is bound to become     more and more rigorous. [12:33] Kaz     For you in particular, Darkness. [12:34] Kaz     If a female knight like you [12:36] Kaz     were to be captured by the     Devil King, it'd be bad news. [12:38] Kaz     You'd be sure to suffer a horrendous fate! [12:41] Dark     Yes, that's exactly right. [12:44] Dark     Since old times, [12:45] Dark     suffering an erotic fate at     the hands of the Devil King [12:47] Dark     has always been the duty and     expectation of a female knight. [12:50] Dark     That alone makes it worthwhile to go! [12:52] Kaz     Wait, what? [12:53] Dark     Huh? What is it? [12:54] Dark     Did I say something strange? [12:57] Kaz     I-I'll take care of this one later! [13:00] Kaz     You listen up, too, Megumin. [13:02] Kaz     Our opponent is the Devil King. [13:04] Kaz     We're picking a fight with the     strongest being in this world. [13:07] Kaz     There's no need to force yourself     to stay in a party like— [13:11] Megu     My name is Megumin! [13:12] Megu     I am a user of the finest magic     crimson demons possess, [13:15] Megu     and I command explosion magic! [13:17] Megu     The Devil King fancies himself superior     to us and dares call himself "strongest"! [13:21] Megu     I shall obliterate his vile presence     with our strongest of magics! [13:25] Kaz     This one's a lost cause, too... [13:26] Kaz     What should I do? [13:27] Kaz     I made these two embarrassing     girls even more motivated. [13:30] Aqua     Kazuma, Kazuma... [13:32] Aqua     I've kind of gotten cold feet     now that I've heard all this. [13:36] Aqua     Isn't there some easier way? [13:38] Kaz     You should be the most motivated of all. [13:40] Kaz     In fact, this concerns you most of all. [13:44] Luna     Emergency quest! Emergency quest! [13:47] Kaz     What is it this time? [13:48] Luna     All adventurers, please gather     at the front gate at once. [13:51] Luna     I repeat: all adventurers, [13:54] Luna     please gather at the front gate at once! [13:59] A     They're coming! [14:00] B     It can't be! No one told me     it was happening today! [14:03] C     Don't let the children outside! [14:04] D     Oh, no! Oh, no! [14:09] AdvA     You're all ready for this, right? [14:11] AdvB     Better get psyched up! [14:21] Kaz     What is it? What's coming? [14:23] Dark     I'll protect everyone. [14:25] Dark     Kazuma, stay close to me. [14:26] Kaz     What's the emergency quest? [14:28] Kaz     Is it a monster attack? [14:30] Aqua     Didn't they say? It's cabbage. Cabbage! [14:33] Kaz     Huh? [14:36] Ruffian     Looks like it'll be rough this year... [14:38] Megu     A storm is coming. [14:42] Adventurers     Harvest time! [14:45] Aqua     Bring out the mayonnaise! [14:54] Kaz     What the hell is this?! [14:58] Cab     Cabbage, cabbage! SIGN    Compulsory Quest SIGN    Defeat All the Cabbages     Flying into the City [15:02] Ruffian     Go! [15:06] Aqua     In this world, cabbages fly. [15:08] Aqua     When they reach optimal flavor     and harvest season approaches, [15:11] Aqua     they don't just sit back and     let themselves be eaten. [15:16] Aqua     It's said they careen through     the cities and grasslands, [15:19] Aqua     cross the continent and ocean, [15:22] Aqua     and finally quietly pass away [15:25] Aqua     in a secluded region unknown     to man, without being eaten. [15:35] Aqua     If that's the case, [15:37] Aqua     let's catch as many as possible, [15:41] Aqua     and make them into delicious meals to eat! [15:44] Luna     Everyone! [15:46] Luna     The annual cabbage harvesting     season has arrived! [15:49] Luna     This year's cabbages are of fine quality, [15:51] Luna     and will go for 10,000     eris per head harvested! [15:54] Luna     Please capture as many cabbages     as you can and lock them up here! [16:00] Kaz     Can I just go home and go to bed? [16:03] Dark     Kazuma. [16:04] Dark     This is a perfect opportunity. [16:06] Dark     See my ability as a crusader     with your own eyes. [16:26] Kaz     She's not hitting a single one! [16:38] Dark     Look out! [16:52] Dark     I'll handle this! Get away while you can! [16:55] Kaz     Darkness! [17:03] Dark     Wh-What?! [17:05] Kaz     Her armor! [17:07] E     I-It's no use! [17:09] E     Run away by yourself! [17:11] Dark     Don't be foolish! [17:14] Kaz     Darkness, you... [17:17] Dark     How could I ever abandon [17:20] Dark     those who have fallen?! [17:24] 1     She's a model knight! [17:26] Woman     Hurry and run away, Lady Knight! [17:32] Dark     They're watching me... [17:37] Dark     These uncultured men [17:39] Dark     are looking at my skin and getting aroused! [17:42] Dark     How shameful! [17:44] Dark     So filthy! [17:46] Dark     Incredible! [17:47] Kaz     She's enjoying it?! [17:49] Adv     I can't believe she's going to     such lengths to protect him! [17:52] Adv2     As a knight, I must learn from her example. [17:54] Kaz     No! You guys have it all wrong! [17:56] Megu     None can stand in opposition     of my lethal explosion magic. [18:03] Kaz     She's gonna give people the wrong idea, too! [18:08] Megu     Could I possibly resist the urge     to unleash explosion magic [18:10] Megu     when faced with such a massive enemy army? [18:14] Megu     No, I can't! [18:15] Kaz     Yes, you can! [18:17] Megu     Oh, blackness shrouded in light... [18:19] Megu     Frenzied blaze clad in night... [18:22] Megu     In the name of the crimson demons, [18:23] Megu     let the collapse of thine origin manifest. [18:26] Megu     Summon before me the root of     thy power hidden within the lands [18:30] Megu     of the kingdom of demise! [18:33] Megu     Explosion! SIGN    Special Bonus SIGN    Abundant Cabbage Harvest [19:00] A     Well, we won't run short on     vegetables for a good while! [19:03] Kaz     I refuse to accept this. [19:06] Kaz     How can a simple cabbage stir-fry be so tasty? [19:11] Kaz     I didn't come to a parallel     world to fight cabbage. [19:15] Aqua     I'd expect no less from a crusader. [19:17] Aqua     It's no surprise that [19:19] Aqua     those cabbages had a tough time     breaching your iron-clad defenses. [19:22] Dark     No, I'm just a solidly-built woman. [19:26] Dark     Becoming a wall to protect     someone is all I'm good for. [19:29] Megu     Aqua's Nature's Beauty was splendid, as well. [19:32] Megu     She boosted the morale of all the adventurers, [19:35] Megu     and preserved the freshness of the     harvested cabbage with cold water. [19:38] (Flashback) Aqua     Nature's Beauty! [19:40] (Flashback) Aqua     Nature's Beauty! [19:43] (Flashback) Aqua     It was nothing. [19:44] (Flashback) Aqua     Here! [19:44] Aqua     That's only natural for an arch     priest who heals everyone. [19:45] (Flashback) ---     Here! [19:46] (Flashback) ---     Here! [19:47] (Flashback) Man     Thank you. [19:48] Kaz     Is that important? [19:50] Aqua     An arch priest's magical water is very pure! [19:53] ---     Really? [19:53] Dark     Megumin's magic was astounding, too! [19:55] ---     Really? [19:56] Dark     You blew away the entire swarm     of cabbages in a single blow! [19:58] ---     Really? [19:59] Megu     Have you now seen the power of     the crimson demon bloodline? [20:02] Dark     Impressive. [20:02] Dark     Yes. I've never taken a direct     hit with such firepower before. [20:06] Kaz     Don't let her hit you directly! [20:15] Aqua     Oh, Kazuma! [20:16] Aqua     You weren't half bad yourself! [20:19] Megu     Indeed. [20:20] Megu     When you erase your presence     with the Lurk skill [20:22] Megu     Steal! [20:22] Megu     and attack the enemy from behind with Steal, [20:26] Megu     you look just like a skilled assassin. [20:29] Aqua     Kazuma, by my name, [20:31] Aqua     I hereby confer upon you the title     of "The Great Cabbage Thief." [20:35] Kaz     Oh, shut up! [20:36] Kaz     Jeez, how did things end up like this? [20:39] Dark     Most importantly, you now understand     my abilities as a crusader. [20:45] Dark     So, once more... [20:46] Dark     My name is Darkness. [20:48] Dark     I can use swords with either hand, [20:50] Dark     but don't expect me to be     a powerhouse in battle. [20:53] Dark     I'm far too clumsy, and my attacks     hardly ever hit their mark. [20:56] Dark     However, I'm very good at becoming a wall! [20:59] Aqua     Our party is turning out to have     a pretty impressive roster, huh? [21:04] Aqua     There's me, an arch priest, [21:06] Aqua     Megumin, an arch wizard, [21:08] Aqua     and Darkness, a crusader. [21:10] Aqua     There aren't many parties where three out     of four members are advanced job classes! [21:17] Dark     I'm looking forward to working with you. [21:18] Kaz     I wouldn't have any real reason to refuse     if she were a normal ally, either. [21:19] Megu     Yes, pleased to have you. [21:21] Kaz     She's gorgeous, after all. But still... [21:25] Dark     So, Kazuma, please don't hesitate to use me [21:28] Dark     as a decoy or wall anytime from now on. [21:32] Kaz     She's one of those people... [21:33] Kaz     A total masochist. [21:35] Kaz     Although this seems like a perfect     lineup, it's anything but. [21:38] Kaz     I foresee nothing but hardships in our future... [21:42] Dark     If I should do anything to hold back the party, [21:44] Dark     please reprimand me sternly. [21:46] Dark     You may even abandon me as     a sacrificial pawn if you wish. [21:50] Dark     J-Just imagining it makes me     tremble with excitement! [21:56] Dark     Once again, I'm looking     forward to working with you! SIGN    To my teacher at school. I'm currently learning in a parallel world... The workings of its society, what it is to be human, and what it means to be alive. It makes me grateful that all the wonderful events transpiring here make me grow as a person. I'm so grateful, it makes me tear up. There isn't a single night I haven't soaked my pillow in tears. Uh, I mean that in a good way. A good way, okay? SIGN    Episode 4 SIGN    Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy! E4 - Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:02] Kaz     All right... [00:12] Kaz     Create Water! [00:28] Kaz     Well, that's about what I'd     expect from elementary magic. [00:32] Kaz     Now that I've learned a skill,     maybe I'm a bit more of an adventurer. [00:35] Dark     Kazuma! [00:36] Dark     Look! [00:37] Dark     I repaired my armor with the     reward I got for the cabbages, [00:40] Dark     and it's so shiny now! What do you think? [00:43] Kaz     Looks like the sort of armor some     newly-rich aristocrat's son would wear. [00:48] Dark     There are times when I'd like     some genuine praise, too. [00:52] Dark     You never show any mercy, do you, Kazuma? [00:56] Kaz     I don't have time to pay     attention to you right now. [00:59] Kaz     Do something about that pervert who's     well on her way to surpassing you. [00:59] Megu     Irresistible. Irresistible! [01:02] Megu     The luster of this Manatite staff     brimming with magical power... [01:08] Aqua     What was that?! [01:09] Aqua     Hey, you, what's the meaning of this?! [01:11] Aqua     Just how many cabbages do you think I caught?! [01:13] Luna     W-Well... [01:15] Aqua     What? [01:16] Luna     Most of what you caught is actually lettuce... [01:20] Aqua     Why is there lettuce mixed in?! [01:23] Luna     Th-There's nothing I can do about it! [01:24] Dark     It is true that lettuce has     a low redemption rate. [01:25] Aqua     I went through a lot of     trouble, so do something! [01:27] Kaz     Is it? I wouldn't know. [01:31] Kaz     Oh, she's coming this way. This isn't good. [01:34] Aqua     Kazuma-san! [01:37] Aqua     About how much was your     reward from our last quest? [01:41] Kaz     About a million. [01:45] Kaz     Yes. [01:46] Kaz     Thanks to the quest that was     sprung on us out of the blue, [01:49] Kaz     I suddenly obtained a small fortune. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 4 SIGN    "Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy!" [03:22] All     A million... [03:25] Kaz     Many of the cabbages I harvested [03:27] Kaz     were apparently packed with lots of XP. [03:30] Kaz     I guess high luck makes all the difference. [03:34] Aqua     K-Kazuma-sama, [03:36] Aqua     I've thought this for quite     some time, but you're, um... [03:40] Aqua     fairly cool, you know? [03:43] Kaz     If nothing praiseworthy about me     comes to mind, don't force it. [03:48] Aqua     K-Kazuma-san! [03:50] Aqua     I thought my reward for this     quest would be pretty hefty, [03:53] Aqua     so I used up all the money I had! [03:55] Aqua     In fact, I expected to     rake in a bunch of money, [03:58] Aqua     so I have a bar tab of nearly 100,000 eris! [03:58] Man     You know what's next. [04:01] Kaz     What do I care? [04:02] Kaz     You're the one who suggested we each     keep our rewards for ourselves! [04:05] Aqua     But that was because I thought     only I'd make a killing off it! [04:08] Kaz     You're real scum. [04:09] Aqua     Please, lend me money! [04:11] Aqua     Just enough to pay my tab is plenty! [04:13] Kaz     Shut up, you useless goddess! [04:15] Kaz     I'm going to use this money to escape     life in the stables once and for all! [04:19] Aqua     Well, you are a boy, [04:21] Aqua     and I know you rustle around     beside me at night sometimes, [04:24] Aqua     so I'm sure you'd like a private     room as soon as possible... [04:27] Kaz     Got it! All right, I got it! [04:29] Kaz     I'll lend you the money, so shut up! [04:31] Kaz     KONOSUBA! [04:32] Aqua     Kazuma, allies sure are great! [04:35] Aqua     We're the greatest party ever! [04:39] Man     Oh, thanks for your business. [04:40] Kaz     Damn her... SIGN    The Next Day [04:50] Megu     Kazuma looks like a real adventurer now. [04:54] Aqua     Wearing a tracksuit ruins     that fantasy feel, doesn't it? [04:57] Dark     Fantasy feel? [04:59] Kaz     It's elementary, but I did     acquire a magic skill. [05:03] Kaz     I was thinking of going for a     sword mage style, with no shield. [05:07] Aqua     Only the things you say sound mature... [05:09] Megu     Let's go on a kill quest right away, then. [05:11] Megu     One with lots of small-fry monsters! [05:15] Megu     I want to test out my new staff's magic power! [05:18] Dark     No, one with super strong monsters     that hit with a heavy, pleasant blow! [05:23] Aqua     No, let's do a profitable quest! [05:26] Aqua     I paid my tab, so I don't have     enough money for meals today! [05:28] Kaz     They're not on the same page at all! [05:30] Kaz     Okay, it's the giant toads' mating season, [05:33] Kaz     and I hear they're infesting     areas near the city... [05:36] Aqua     No frogs! [05:36] Megu     Not the frogs! [05:37] Dark     Why? [05:39] Kaz     Oh, these two have been traumatized by frogs. [05:43] Kaz     They got eaten head-first     and covered in slime. [05:48] Dark     Covered in slime?! [05:49] Kaz     You're turned on right now, aren't you? [05:51] Dark     I am not. [05:53] Dark     KONOSUBA! [05:56] Kaz     Huh? What's going on? [05:57] Kaz     There are hardly any requests. [05:59] Dark     Kazuma! This is it! Let's do this one! [06:01] Dark     A kill quest for a giant     beast called Black Fang! [06:04] Kaz     No! No way! [06:06] Kaz     What's this all about? [06:07] Kaz     There are only high-difficulty quests left! [06:11] Luna     I am very sorry. [06:13] Luna     The truth is, one of the Devil King's top     leaders moved in near town recently. [06:18] Kaz     Huh? [06:19] Luna     All the weak monsters in the area have     gone into hiding because of that, [06:23] Luna     so there's been a sharp decline in requests. [06:25] Kaz     What? [06:28] Aqua     Honestly... I don't care if he's     a top leader or whatever. [06:32] Aqua     If he's an undead, just watch me! [06:34] Kaz     So this means that [06:35] Kaz     until capable adventurers and knights     are sent here from the imperial capital, [06:40] Kaz     we won't be able to find any decent work? [06:43] Aqua     Look, this is incredible! It's such fine work! [06:46] Aqua     I wonder if the sale price will go up. [06:49] Kaz     A thrilling adventure in a parallel world, huh? [06:58] Kaz     Say, if you want to do magical training,     can't you go on your own? [07:01] Megu     If I did that, who would carry me home? [07:05] Megu     After one shot, I can't move anymore. [07:08] Kaz     Is she [07:10] Kaz     going to make me tag along for this every day? [07:15] Kaz     Hey, right here's fine, isn't it? [07:17] Kaz     Just use your magic on     whatever and let's go back. [07:19] Megu     I can't do that! [07:20] Megu     If I don't do it somewhere far from town,     I'll be scolded by the guardsmen again. [07:25] Kaz     You just said "again," didn't you? [07:27] Kaz     Did they get mad and call you a     nuisance because of the noise? [07:33] Kaz     Guess we have no choice... [07:36] Megu     KONOSUBA! [07:38] Megu     Is that an abandoned castle? [07:41] Kaz     It's so eerie. [07:43] Megu     I'll use that! [07:44] Megu     Surely nobody will complain     if I obliterate that! [07:48] Kaz     Uh, yeah... [07:50] Megu     Crimson-black blaze,     king of myriad worlds, [07:53] Megu     though I promulgate the laws of nature, [07:55] Megu     I am the alias of destruction incarnate [07:58] Megu     in accordance with the     principles of all creation. [08:00] Megu     Let the hammer of eternity descend unto me! [08:04] Megu     Explosion! [08:18] Megu     Burn to ashes within the crimson. [08:23] Megu     This is fantastic... [08:27] Kaz     And that's how [08:29] Kaz     my new daily routine with Megumin began. [08:33] Aqua     It's cheap, dirt cheap! Fresh cabbage! [08:36] Kaz     Left dead broke, Aqua worked hard     at her part-time job every day. [08:36] Aqua     How about some, ma'am?     And you, too, mister! [08:41] Kaz     Darkness said she was going to do weight     training back at her family home for a while. [08:46] Kaz     Megumin, who had nothing in particular to do, [08:48] Kaz     commuted to that abandoned castle every day     and kept unleashing explosion magic on it. [08:50] Megu     Explosion! [08:55] Kaz     On cold, rainy evenings... [08:58] Megu     —plosion! [09:00] Kaz     On calm, early afternoons,     right after lunch... [09:03] Megu     —sion! [09:06] Kaz     On invigorating, early morning walks... [09:06] Both     Explosion-plosion! Explosion-plosion! [09:10] Megu     —on! [09:15] Kaz     I'd give that one 60 points, I think. [09:17] Kaz     It was lacking in volume. [09:21] Megu     Explosion! [09:21] Kaz     No matter the occasion, [09:23] Megu     Explosion... [09:23] Kaz     Megumin unleashed magic upon that     abandoned castle every day. [09:25] Megu     Explosion! [09:29] Kaz     I kept close, observing her magic, [09:33] Kaz     and eventually came to     understand the quality [09:37] Kaz     of each day's explosion magic. [09:47] Megu     Explosion! [09:58] Kaz     It feels pretty good today. [09:59] Kaz     The explosion's shock waves practically     reverberate through my flesh and bones, [10:04] Kaz     and yet the delayed vibrations of     the air seem to stroke my skin. [10:09] Kaz     Nice explosion! [10:11] Megu     Nice explosion! [10:13] Megu     You've come to understand the     path of explosions, Kazuma. [10:17] Megu     How about it? [10:18] Megu     Why not learn explosion magic for real? [10:23] Kaz     It could be fun to acquire it in     the future, if I can afford to. [10:27] Megu     That's a great attitude. [10:36] Kaz     The future, huh? [10:38] Aqua     I'm back! [10:40] Aqua     Take a look at this! [10:41] Aqua     We had some cooking leftover,     so they said I could bring it home. [10:44] Aqua     It's a huge score! [10:46] Kaz     Hey, Aqua, I don't want to say this, but... [10:49] Aqua     What? [10:49] Kaz     To be blunt, I'm starting to think we're     incapable of taking down the Devil King. [10:55] Kaz     Listen. [10:56] Kaz     I never had any amazing powers like     the protagonists in fairy tales do. [11:01] Kaz     Shouldn't some group endowed with     powerful abilities, equipment, [11:05] Kaz     and so forth be sent in to fight     the Devil King's army instead? [11:08] Aqua     Don't say that! I'll never be     able to go home that way! [11:11] Kaz     Save lines like that for after you've     done something a goddess would do, [11:16] Kaz     like guiding the hero or buying     time by sealing the Devil King [11:19] Kaz     until the hero can stand on his own. [11:21] Kaz     You deadbeat who's only     useful for party tricks! [11:28] Kaz     That's the situation, so come up with some     profitable business that's simple to do. [11:32] Kaz     Also, hurry up and teach me recovery magic,     the last thing you've got going for you. [11:37] Aqua     No! [11:39] Aqua     Anything but my recovery magic! [11:41] Aqua     Don't take away my reason for being! [11:44] Aqua     You've got me for that! Isn't that enough?! [11:49] Megu     Your verbal lashings are pretty nasty. [11:49] Aqua     Meanie! Demon! Brute! [11:52] Megu     Most women would cry if you said what     was on your mind without holding back. [11:57] Dark     If you're feeling stressed out, [11:59] Dark     I wouldn't mind if you     verbally abused me instead. [12:05] Aqua     You're so cruel! [12:06] Kaz     Why you little... [12:09] Luna     Emergency! Emergency! [12:11] Luna     All adventurers, please arm yourselves at once [12:14] Luna     and gather at the front gate     of the city, ready for battle! [12:20] Ruffian     That's no laughing matter! [12:30] Aqua     What is it? [12:31] Kaz     Hey, what's going on? [12:33] Kaz     He looks crazy strong! [12:35] Dul     I'm the leader from the Devil King's army [12:39] Dul     who moved into a nearby castle recently. [12:42] Dark     Is that a dullahan? [12:47] Dul     Day after day, after day, after day! [12:49] Dul     Wh-Who's the screw-loose imbecile     who keeps firing explosion magic [12:53] Dul     at my castle every single day?! [13:01] Kaz     One of the Devil King's top leaders [13:03] Kaz     was utterly enraged with us. [13:09] Dul     Day after day, after day, after day! [13:12] Dul     Who's the screw-loose imbecile who keeps [13:15] Dul     firing explosion magic at my castle?! [13:22] A     Explosion magic? [13:23] B     Who comes to mind that     can use explosion magic? [13:26] C     If we're talking explosion magic... [13:33] MagicianA     Huh? M-Me?! [13:35] MagicianA     Why are you looking at me? [13:37] MagicianA     I can't use explosion magic! [13:39] A     Um, I'm still a novice. [13:41] A     Uh, I really didn't do it! Please, believe me! [13:44] A     I don't want to die yet! [13:46] A     I have little brothers to take care of! [13:51] Dark     Megumin? [14:05] Dul     So it was you? [14:10] Dul     You're the imbecile who fired explosion     magic at my castle day after day?! [14:15] Dul     If you're picking a fight with awareness     that I'm a leader in the Devil King's army, [14:19] Dul     come attack my castle fair and square! [14:21] Dul     If you don't have the nerve, [14:22] Dul     then stay in the city, trembling in fear! [14:23] Dul     Tell me, why the underhanded harassment?! [14:27] Dul     Just because we left this city alone since     there's nothing but small fry here, [14:30] Dul     don't get cocky and make my castle go boom,     boom, boom, boom every single day! [14:34] Dul     Are you crazy, you wench?! [14:39] Megu     My name is Megumin! [14:41] Megu     An arch wizard who commands explosion magic! [14:47] Dul     What's "Megumin" supposed to be? [14:49] Dul     Are you making a fool of me? [14:50] Megu     N-No! [14:51] Megu     I am a crimson demon,     the greatest magician in this city. [14:56] Megu     Firing explosion magic at you     continuously was a strategy [14:59] Megu     to lure you, a leader in the     Devil King's army, out here. [15:03] Megu     You fell for it, and came to this city alone. [15:06] Megu     Seems you're out of luck. [15:09] Kaz     When did this turn into a strategy? [15:12] Dark     Not to mention she just proclaimed     herself the greatest magician in this city. [15:16] Aqua     Shh! Do her a favor and keep quiet! [15:19] Aqua     She hasn't used explosion magic yet today, [15:22] Aqua     and she has lots of adventurers behind her, [15:24] Aqua     so she's acting tough. [15:25] Aqua     This is the good part,     so stand here and watch! [15:31] Dul     Very well. [15:32] Dul     It's not as though I came to this     land to meddle with you small fry. [15:36] Dul     I'll likely be staying in that     castle for a while longer, [15:40] Dul     so don't use your explosion     magic on it again. Got it? [15:44] Megu     Impossible. [15:45] Megu     We crimson demons must unleash     explosion magic once a day, or we'll die. [15:49] Dul     H-Hey, I've never heard     anything like that before! [15:52] Dul     Don't make up convenient lies! [15:55] Dul     Are you saying you don't intend to stop     using explosion magic, no matter what? [15:59] Megu     Yes. [16:00] Dul     I may have given myself up to evil,     but I was once a knight. [16:05] Dul     I'm not interested in mowing     down weaklings. However... [16:10] Megu     You can't act so composed for long. [16:13] Megu     Teacher, if you would! [16:17] Kaz     Hey. [16:18] Aqua     Guess I have no choice. [16:19] Kaz     Huh?! [16:20] Aqua     I don't care if you're one     of the Devil King's leaders! [16:22] Aqua     Coming here while I'm around was bad luck! [16:25] Aqua     I can't accept any decent     quests because of you! [16:29] Aqua     Now, are you ready?! [16:32] Dul     What do we have here? [16:34] Dul     An arch priest? [16:36] Dul     I am one of the top leaders     in the Devil King's army. [16:39] Dul     I'm not so lowly that I'd be purified     by a low-level priest from this city. [16:45] Dul     I know. [16:46] Dul     Why don't I make that crimson     demon girl suffer a bit? [16:54] Aqua     I'll purify you with my prayer! [16:57] Dul     You're too late! [17:00] Dul     I sentence thee to death. [17:02] Dul     You will die in one week. [17:10] Kaz     Darkness! [17:14] Kaz     Damn, he got us! A death sentence? [17:17] Megu     Darkness! Darkness! [17:19] Kaz     Are you all right? [17:23] Dark     It doesn't appear to be serious... [17:25] Dul     It appears this method may actually     be more effective against [17:29] Dul     tightly-knit adventurers such as yourselves. [17:32] Dul     Listen, crimson demon girl. [17:34] Dul     That crusader will die in one week's time. [17:38] Dul     Your precious ally [17:40] Dul     will suffer as she trembles     in terror of death until then. [17:44] Dul     Yes, because of you! [17:48] Dul     Watch as your ally suffers [17:50] Dul     for the next week and     repent for your actions. [17:55] Dul     You should have just done as I said. [18:03] Dark     How terrible... [18:04] Dark     You're basically saying you     cast a death curse on me, [18:07] Dark     and to obey your orders     if we want it removed? [18:11] Dark     Is that what you're after?! [18:14] Dul     Huh? [18:15] Kaz     I don't even want to understand     what Darkness is talking about. [18:19] Dark     I won't give in to a mere curse! [18:23] Dark     I won't give in, but... [18:24] Dark     Wh-What should I do, Kazuma? [18:27] Kaz     Yes, I'm Kazuma. [18:27] Dark     Look at that dullahan's filthy eyes,     hidden beneath his helmet! [18:28] Dul     Huh? [18:31] Dark     Those are the eyes of a degenerate who     plans to take me back to his castle, [18:32] Dul     Huh? What? [18:34] Dark     tell me to shut up and submit to     him if I want the curse removed, [18:37] Dark     and demand I perform hardcore     acts of perversion for him! [18:43] Dul     Huh? [18:44] Dark     You may do as you please with my body, [18:47] Dark     but don't think you'll be free to     do as you please with my heart! [18:50] Dark     A lady knight imprisoned in a castle, [18:51] Dark     having outrageous demands made     of her by the Devil King's minion... [18:55] Dark     Oh, what should I do?!     What should I do, Kazuma? [18:58] Kaz     Yes, yes, I'm Kazuma. [18:58] Dark     This is an unexpectedly moe situation! [19:01] Dark     I don't want to go. [19:02] Dark     I don't want to go, but I have no choice! [19:05] Dark     I'll resist as long as I can,     so don't stand in my way! [19:08] Dark     Okay, I'll be back! [19:11] Dul     What a maniac... [19:13] Kaz     Stop! Don't go! [19:14] Kaz     You're bothering the dullahan! [19:16] Dark     Let go! [19:17] Dark     Don't stop me! [19:19] Kaz     Pitiful... [19:19] Dark     Cut it out! [19:21] Dark     KONOSUBA! [19:22] Dul     A-Anyway! [19:24] Dul     Stop firing explosion magic at my castle! [19:27] Dul     And you, crimson demon girl! [19:29] Dul     If you wish to lift the curse on     that crusader, come to my castle. [19:34] Dul     If you're able to make it all the     way to me, I'll lift the curse. [19:39] Dul     However, will you all really     be able to make it that far? [20:03] Kaz     Hey, where do you think you're going? [20:06] Megu     I'm going to go to the castle, [20:08] Megu     nail the dullahan with a direct     hit of my explosion magic, [20:11] Megu     and lift the curse on Darkness. [20:19] Kaz     You know I'm going with you. [20:22] Kaz     If you go alone, you'll use     your magic on some peon, [20:24] Kaz     and then it'll be all over. [20:26] Kaz     Besides, [20:27] Kaz     I'm the fool who went with you every day [20:29] Kaz     and didn't realize the castle belonged     to one of their leaders. [20:35] Megu     Shall we go together, then? [20:37] Megu     However, I hear there's a     bunch of undead in the castle. [20:40] Megu     That means weapons won't work very well. [20:43] Megu     My magic should be more effective. [20:46] Megu     So... [20:50] Megu     Please rely on me at times like these! [20:53] Dark     Don't... [20:55] Dark     Give it up, you two.     Don't do all this for me. [20:59] Kaz     Hey, Darkness! We'll definitely     do something about your curse! [21:03] Kaz     So rest assured— [21:04] Aqua     Sacred Break Spell! [21:24] Both     Huh? [21:28] Aqua     For me, lifting a dullahan's curse is child's play! [21:32] Aqua     Well? I can be priest-like once     in a while, don't you think? [21:43] Aqua     Oh, it was nothing. Actually, maybe it wasn't! [21:46] Kaz     Megumin and I were so excited. [21:49] Kaz     Give us back our motivation... [21:52] Aqua     Hup! [21:53] Aqua     Nature's Beauty of victory! SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Repel the Dullahan! SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Quest Clear!! SIGN    This is the goddess, Aqua. I'm reporting my progress. We ran into a bit of trouble, but just about everything is going favorably. In fact, it appears as though I've saved the extremely incompetent and reclusive Mr. Satou Kazuma. Mr. Kazuma appears grateful for my devotion from the bottom of his heart. Therefore, I would like to request permission to return home... Huh? I can't? Please, I beg you! SIGN    Episode 5 SIGN    A Price for This Cursed Sword! E5 - A Price for This Magic Sword! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:11] Kaz     This money is meaningless. [00:14] Kaz     Feeling satisfied with just a few coins, [00:16] Kaz     taking care of a useless goddess... [00:18] Kaz     This is not the parallel world life I wished for! [00:22] Kaz     Fighting ferocious dragons     with a cursed or holy sword, [00:26] Kaz     being lauded as a chosen hero, [00:29] Kaz     love blossoming with a party member... [00:33] Kaz     Isn't that how it's supposed to be? [00:38] Kids     Red rover, red rover! [00:41] Aqua     I've had all I can take of living in debt! [00:45] Aqua     A quest! [00:46] Aqua     Thanks to that dullahan, there are only     tough ones left, but let's accept one! [00:49] Aqua     I want money! [00:52] Dark     I... I don't mind... [00:55] Aqua     P-Please! [00:57] Aqua     I'm sick of working part-time     in the shopping district! [01:00] Aqua     The manager yells at me if     any croquettes aren't sold! [01:02] Aqua     I'll work hard! [01:03] Aqua     I'll give it everything I've got this time! [01:06] Kaz     This is one pitiful self-proclaimed goddess. [01:06] Aqua     Please! [01:10] Kaz     I'm sure I'll run out of money eventually, too, [01:12] Kaz     so go find a decent-looking quest for us. [01:15] Aqua     Got it! [01:19] Megu     Will Aqua be all right? [01:21] Megu     I get the feeling she'll bring     back some insane quest. [01:24] Dark     I'd be okay with an unreasonable quest! [01:30] Aqua     All right. [01:31] Kaz     That's not "all right"! [01:33] Kaz     What are you trying to accept?! [01:36] Kaz     "There's a place where a manticore and     a griffin are fighting over territory. [01:41] Kaz     Please kill both of them. [01:43] Kaz     The reward is 500,000 eris." [01:45] Kaz     Are you stupid?! [01:47] Kaz     I was right to come check on her. [01:48] Kaz     I nearly let her accept a     ridiculously high-level quest! [01:52] Aqua     Hey, check this one out! [01:55] Aqua     "The quality of the town     lake's water has declined, [01:58] Aqua     and Brutal Alligators     have started to live in it, [02:00] Aqua     so I would like to have the water purified. [02:02] Aqua     The monsters will move to a different     habitat if the lake is purified, [02:06] Aqua     so there's no need to kill them. [02:08] Aqua     The reward is 300,000 eris." [02:11] Aqua     This quest is perfect for me! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 5 SIGN    "A Price for This Cursed Sword!" [03:49] Aqua     How about it? [03:50] Kaz     Are you actually capable of purifying water? [03:52] Aqua     You fool. [03:54] Aqua     Who do you think I am? [03:56] Aqua     Surely you can tell [03:58] Aqua     what I'm a goddess of from     my name and appearance. [04:01] Kaz     Goddess of party tricks, right? [04:03] Aqua     No, you shut-in NEET! [04:04] Aqua     Water! Do you not see the beautiful [04:07] Aqua     water-colored eyes and hair?! [04:09] Kaz     Go ahead and accept it, then. [04:11] Kaz     If you accept it alone, you can keep     the whole reward for yourself. [04:14] Aqua     Wh-What? [04:17] Aqua     Well, monsters are likely to attack     while I'm purifying the lake... [04:21] Aqua     So I'd like you to protect me... [04:24] Kaz     That's what this is about? [04:26] Kaz     How long will it take? [04:28] Kaz     About five minutes? [04:32] Aqua     Half a day or so? [04:33] Kaz     That's long! [04:34] Aqua     Please, I'm begging you! [04:36] Aqua     Help me out, Kazuma-san! [04:38] Kaz     How will you go about purifying it, anyway? [04:40] Aqua     Huh? [04:42] Aqua     Well, for a goddess of my class, [04:44] Aqua     simply touching the lake should purify it. [04:48] Kaz     I see. [04:51] Kaz     Hey, Aqua. [04:52] Kaz     I think I know a way you     can purify the lake safely. [04:55] Aqua     Huh? [04:57] Luna     KONOSUBA! [05:05] Aqua     Hey, are we really doing this? [05:07] Kaz     My strategy is rock-solid. [05:10] Kaz     What're you unsatisfied with? [05:13] Aqua     I feel like some rare, [05:16] Aqua     captured monster that's on its way to be sold. SIGN    Exploration Quest SIGN    Purify the Riverhead Lake [05:32] Kaz     By no means did we come here to abandon     this worthless goddess in the lake. [05:37] Kaz     She'll be able to touch and purify [05:39] Kaz     the water from inside the safety of the cage. [05:41] Kaz     Aqua! Tell us if anything happens! [05:44] Kaz     We'll reel you in, cage and all! [05:47] Aqua     I feel like a teabag of black tea     being made into soup stock. SIGN    — 2 Hours In — [05:56] Aqua     312 iron bars, [05:59] Aqua     313 iron bars... [06:02] Dark     No monsters are showing up. [06:04] Megu     Seems that way. [06:06] Kaz     You know, you're being awfully reserved today. [06:09] Megu     Huh? [06:11] Kaz     Normally, you'd say something chuuni-ish [06:13] Kaz     and try to blow the monsters away, lake and all. [06:15] Dark     Oh, that's true. [06:16] Megu     What sort of impression     do you two have of me?! [06:21] Megu     My ultimate explosion magic isn't to be [06:23] Megu     used on the likes of mere alligators. [06:26] Kaz     You always fire it off all over     the place for no reason... [06:30] Kaz     Hey, Aqua! [06:32] Kaz     How's purifying the lake coming along? [06:35] Aqua     It's going well! [06:37] Kaz     You'll catch a chill if you're     in the water too long! [06:40] Kaz     If you need to go to the     bathroom, let us know! [06:43] Aqua     Arch priests don't go to the bathroom! [06:46] Megu     Sounds like she's doing fine. [06:48] Megu     By the way, crimson demons don't     go to the bathroom, either. [06:51] Kaz     Did you used to be idols or something? [06:53] Dark     M-Me, either. [06:55] Dark     I'm a crusader, so I don't... [06:59] Dark     I don't... [07:01] Kaz     Darkness, don't try so hard to deny it. [07:05] Kaz     You two insist you don't use the bathroom, [07:07] Kaz     so next time we'll accept a quest     that'll take longer than a day, [07:10] Kaz     and we'll just see whether you use it or not. [07:13] Megu     Please don't! [07:14] Megu     Crimson demons really don't     use the bathroom, okay? [07:17] Megu     But I'll apologize, so please don't do that. [07:19] Dark     No less from the man I placed my hopes on! [07:23] Megu     Still, the alligators aren't coming. [07:25] Megu     It would be great if this kept up     and things ended peacefully... [07:29] Kaz     Hey, that line is bound to trigger a flag! [07:31] Aqua     K-Kazuma! [07:33] Aqua     Something's coming! Hey, a lot     of somethings are coming! [07:38] Aqua     Kazuma! Kazuma-san! [07:44] Aqua     KONOSUBA! SIGN    — 4 Hours In — [07:49] Kaz     Since the alligators showed up, [07:51] Kaz     Aqua's not only using her     godly purification ability, [07:53] Kaz     but is also using purification magic     as if her life depended on it. [07:56] Aqua     Purification! Purification! [07:58] Aqua     Purification! Purification! Purifica— [08:04] Aqua     Purification! [08:05] Aqua     Purification! Purification! [08:07] Aqua     Purification! Purification! [08:10] Aqua     The cage! The cage is making a strange sound! [08:13] Kaz     Aqua! Let us know if you want to give up! [08:16] Kaz     We'll pull the cage in by     the chain and run away! [08:19] Aqua     No way! [08:20] Aqua     I won't get my reward if I give up now! [08:26] Aqua     It just went "crack"! [08:27] Aqua     The cage just made a sound     no cage should ever make! [08:30] Aqua     Purification! Purification! [08:32] Dark     It looks kind of fun inside that cage. [08:37] Kaz     Don't you dare. [08:38] Aqua     Purification! Purification! Purification! [08:41] Aqua     Purification! Purification! SIGN    — 7 Hours In — [08:54] Megu     It looks like the purification is complete. [08:57] Megu     All of the alligators appear to have left, too. [09:00] Kaz     Aqua, are you okay? [09:02] Dark     Aqua? [09:03] Kaz     Hey, Aqua. [09:05] Kaz     Aqua-san? [09:07] Kaz     Hey. [09:08] Kaz     Hey, I'm talking to you! What's wrong? [09:15] Kaz     If that's enough to make you cry,     you should've retired from the quest. [09:19] Kaz     Come on, we're going home. [09:22] Kaz     Hey, Aqua. We talked it over, [09:24] Kaz     and we don't need any reward for this. [09:27] Dark     That's right, Aqua.     The entire 300,000 eris is yours. [09:31] Megu     Th-That's right! You did all     the work this time, after all! [09:36] Kaz     C-Come on, get out of the cage already. [09:39] Kaz     The alligators are gone. [09:41] Aqua     Just take me back like this. [09:43] Kaz     What did you say? [09:45] Aqua     The world outside this cage is scary. [09:48] Aqua     Take me back to the city like this. [09:53] Kaz     It looks like this quest     traumatized Aqua yet again. SIGN    Today's Results SIGN    Purify the Riverhead Lake SIGN    Today's Results SIGN    Lake Purification Successful SIGN    Quest Complete [10:17] Crem     That's the legendary Ancient Dragon. [10:19] Fio     Can we beat that thing? [10:21] Fio     Maybe we should run away... [10:25] Kyou     My name is Mitsurugi Kyouya. [10:27] Kyou     I was the sort of ordinary high     schooler you could find anywhere, [10:30] Kyou     but in the abyss of death,     I met a lovely goddess, [10:32] Kyou     and was reincarnated into this     world as a chosen hero. [10:36] Kyou     If we let this dragon run rampant, [10:38] Kyou     many people could be injured,     or lose their lives. [10:42] Kyou     We are the only ones who can defeat it! [10:47] Both     Kyouya! [10:48] Fio     The sacred treasure said to be [10:50] Fio     created by the gods,     which only Kyouya can wield... [10:53] Crem     The Cursed Sword, Gram! [11:06] Fio     That's my Kyouya! [11:08] Fio     Only he could defeat the     Ancient Dragon in a single blow! [11:11] Crem     Wh-When did he become yours?! [11:14] Kyou     Hey, now, stop that. [11:14] Fio     Blah! [11:15] Crem     Hey! [11:16] Fio     Kyouya is mine! [11:18] Crem     What are you talking about? [11:19] Crem     Kyouya is mine, okay?! [11:20] Kyou     I will save this world, without fail. [11:24] Kyou     I made a promise to her... [11:28] (Flashback) Aqua     Now, depart on your journey     with the Cursed Sword, Gram, [11:32] (Flashback) Aqua     chosen hero. [11:35] (Flashback) Kyou     Lady Goddess. [11:36] (Flashback) Kyou     I will slay the Devil King     and save the world for you. [11:40] (Flashback) Aqua     Yes, I expect great things of you. [11:48] Aqua     A used-up goddess is being transported along... [11:50] Kyou     This voice... [11:52] Kyou     I've heard it before! [11:54] Crem     Kyouya? Where are you going?! [11:59] Aqua     I'm sure they're taking me away to be sold... [12:11] Kyou     Lady Goddess! [12:17] Aqua     I'm sure they're taking me away to be sold... [12:19] Kaz     Hey, Aqua, [12:21] Kaz     we're in the city now,     so stop singing that song. [12:24] Kaz     Just transporting a woman on     her knees in a beat-up cage [12:27] Aqua     Hang in there, me... [12:28] Kaz     is already drawing everyone's attention. [12:30] Kaz     In fact, get out of there already! [12:33] Aqua     No. [12:34] Aqua     Inside this cage is my sanctuary. [12:37] Aqua     The outside world is scary,     so I won't come out for a while. [12:41] Megu     She's completely holed herself up in there. [12:43] Dark     Yeah... [12:45] Kaz     She's just like I used to be... [12:47] Kaz     Oh, nothing, never mind. [12:49] Kyou     Lady Goddess! [12:50] Kyou     It's you, isn't it, Lady Goddess?! [12:51] Kaz     Huh? [12:55] Megu     Seriously? [12:57] Kyou     What are you doing in such     a place, Lady Goddess?! [13:00] Dark     Hey. [13:01] Dark     Don't touch my ally so freely. [13:04] Dark     Who are you? [13:07] Kaz     You know him, don't you?     He was calling you a goddess. [13:10] Kaz     Do something! [13:12] Aqua     Goddess? [13:13] Kaz     Yes! [13:20] Aqua     That's right! I'm a goddess! [13:22] Kaz     She didn't seriously forget     she's a goddess, did she? [13:33] Aqua     So, what business do you have     with a goddess such as myself? [13:38] Aqua     Who are you? [13:39] Kyou     It's me, Mitsurugi Kyouya! [13:42] Kyou     The Mitsurugi Kyouya who received     this Cursed Sword, Gram, [13:44] Kyou     from you and was reincarnated in this world! [13:48] Aqua     Huh? [13:48] Kyou     Huh? [13:50] Kaz     Huh? [13:53] Aqua     Oh, of course! That guy! [13:55] Aqua     Sorry, I totally forgot! [13:57] Aqua     I've sent along many people, [13:59] Aqua     so it's inevitable that I'd forget some! [14:01] Kyou     Y-Yes... [14:05] Kyou     It has been a while, Aqua-sama. [14:07] Kyou     I have been working hard every     day as your chosen hero. [14:11] Kyou     By the way... [14:13] Kyou     Why have you been locked up in a cage? [14:17] Kaz     Because she didn't want to get out of it. [14:20] Both     KO-NO-SU-BA! [14:23] Kyou     What?! [14:24] Kyou     You dragged the goddess to this world? [14:27] Kyou     Then you locked her in a cage     and dunked her in a lake?! [14:30] Kyou     What in the world were you thinking?! [14:32] Aqua     W-Wait! I'm having lots of fun every day, [14:36] Aqua     and I'm not upset about having     been dragged here anymore. [14:39] Kyou     Aqua-sama, I don't know     how this man won you over, [14:43] Kyou     but you are a goddess!     And yet, this little... [14:47] Kaz     This jerk just says whatever he wants. [14:49] Kaz     He doesn't even know Aqua all that well! [14:52] A     What? [14:53] B     Fighting over a woman? [14:55] Kyou     By the way, where are you     staying right now, Aqua-sama? [14:58] Aqua     Um, in the stables... [15:01] Kyou     Huh? [15:04] Dark     Hey, take your hands off him! [15:06] Dark     Is there no limit to your rudeness?! [15:09] Megu     He's kind of making me want to blow him up. [15:11] Kaz     Don't do that. I'll die, too. [15:13] Kyou     You two are... [15:15] Kyou     A crusader and arch wizard? [15:17] Kyou     I see. You're blessed with     wonderful party members. [15:21] Kyou     You have such excellent people here, [15:24] Kyou     yet you make Aqua-sama sleep in a stable. [15:26] Kyou     Have you no shame? [15:31] Kaz     I'm sure this guy has [15:32] Kaz     lived a life free of worry     with that Cursed Sword Gram [15:35] Kaz     that he got as a perk when reincarnating. [15:38] Kaz     I worked my way up from square one, [15:41] Kaz     so why must I get lectured by a guy like him? [15:44] Kaz     Also, these girls are "excellent"? [15:47] Kaz     I've [15:49] Kaz     never once [15:50] Kaz     seen the slightest [15:52] Kaz     glimpse of [15:53] Kaz     that! [15:55] Kyou     All of you should travel with me,     a sword master, from now on. [15:59] Kyou     I'll even buy you full sets     of high-grade equipment. [16:04] Aqua     Hey, this is bad. [16:06] Aqua     This guy seriously freaks me out. [16:08] Aqua     He's the narcissistic type, and that scares me. [16:11] Dark     What should I do? [16:12] Dark     My instincts won't let me accept that man. [16:15] Dark     I enjoy getting hit more than attacking, [16:17] Dark     but something about him     makes me want to hit him. [16:20] Megu     Can I blow him up? Can I blow him up? [16:22] Kaz     Um, [16:24] Kaz     it sounds like my allies unanimously     don't want to join your party. [16:28] Kaz     Bye, then. [16:33] Kyou     Wait! [16:36] Kaz     Would you move aside? [16:38] Kyou     Sorry, but I can't leave     Aqua-sama in this environment. [16:42] Kaz     What now? He's the type     that won't listen to anyone. [16:45] Kaz     I can see where this is going. [16:48] Kyou     Will you have a match with me? [16:50] Kaz     I knew it. [16:51] Kyou     If I win, turn Aqua-sama over to me. [16:54] Kyou     If you win, I'll listen to any     one request you have. [16:57] Kaz     All right, I'm in. Here I go! [16:59] Kyou     Hey, wait! [17:01] Kaz     Steal! [17:14] Kaz     That'll teach you to say whatever you please. [17:16] Fio     C-Coward! [17:19] Fio     Coward, coward, coward! [17:23] Kaz     Are you two this guy's allies? [17:25] Crem     That's right, you disgusting man! Coward! [17:28] Kaz     This cheater with a cursed sword [17:30] Kaz     who challenged a novice adventurer with     weak gear to a match is the real coward! [17:35] Crem     Give back Gram! [17:37] Crem     Only Kyouya can use that cursed sword! [17:39] Kaz     Huh? [17:40] Kaz     For real? [17:42] Aqua     The Cursed Sword Gram is for     this embarrassing guy's use alone. [17:49] Kaz     Well, I have it now, so I guess I'll keep it. [17:51] Fio     W-Wait just a second! [17:53] Crem     We won't accept the way you won! [17:58] Kaz     I'm an advocate of true gender equality, [18:01] Kaz     a guy who has no problem doling out     a drop kick to a female opponent. [18:06] Kaz     Don't think I'll go easy on you. [18:09] Kaz     I'll unleash my Steal ability     right here in public. [18:13] Fio     Huh? [18:14] Crem     Wh-Wha? [18:19] Kaz     So, what'll it be? [18:25] Kaz     Come on. Come on! [18:31] Both     No! [18:36] Dark     Nice! [18:37] Kaz     Uh, no... [18:38] All     KONOSUBA! SIGN    The Next Day [18:42] Aqua     Why?! [18:45] Dark     That was Aqua's voice. [18:47] Megu     I wonder what happened. [18:49] Kaz     Is she never satisfied until     she's caused a commotion? [18:56] Aqua     She said my reward this time, [18:58] Aqua     after deducting the cost of     the broken cage, is 100,000 eris. [19:02] Aqua     The cage repair fee is 200,000 eris. [19:05] Aqua     I wasn't even the one who broke it... [19:08] Aqua     The next time I see that man, [19:10] Aqua     I'm going to nail him with God Blow for sure! [19:13] Kyou     I've been looking for you, Satou Kazuma! [19:18] Kyou     I heard about you from a certain thief girl. [19:22] Kyou     She said you're a demon     who strips off panties! [19:24] Kyou     What's more, there also seem     to be rumors that you're into [19:27] Kyou     getting girls covered in slime. [19:29] Kyou     They call you "Kazuma the Brute." [19:31] Kaz     Hey, wait! Tell me who's spreading that around! [19:33] Kyou     Aqua-sama, [19:35] Kyou     I swear that I will defeat the Devil King. [19:38] Kyou     So, please, party up with me— [19:40] Aqua     God Blow! [19:47] Aqua     Hey, you! [19:49] Aqua     Pay the repair fee for the cage you broke! [19:51] Aqua     It's 300,000! 300,000! [19:53] Kyou     Oh, uh, sure... [19:55] Kaz     Didn't she say 200,000 earlier? [19:58] Aqua     Excuse me! [20:00] Aqua     One drink and a stack of fried frog, please! [20:06] Kyou     I... I realize this request is asking too much... [20:11] Kyou     But, please, could you return     the cursed sword to me? [20:14] Kyou     In exchange, I'll buy you the     finest sword in the shop— [20:19] Megu     First, [20:20] Megu     there's the matter of the cursed sword     no longer being in his possession. [20:24] Kyou     Huh? [20:29] Kyou     S-Satou Kazuma, where's the cursed sword? [20:33] Kyou     Wh-Wh-Where did my cursed sword go? [20:36] Kaz     I sold it. [20:38] Kyou     Damn it! [20:41] Crem     Kyouya! [20:46] Kaz     This money is meaningless. [20:48] Dark     What in the world was with that guy? [20:51] Dark     By the way, [20:52] Dark     he kept calling Aqua a goddess.     What was that about? [20:58] Kaz     The time is right. [21:00] Kaz     It might be okay to tell Megumin and Darkness. [21:04] Aqua     I've kept this to myself until now, [21:06] Aqua     but I'll tell you. [21:09] Aqua     I am Aqua, [21:10] Aqua     the goddess who rules water,     worshiped by the Religious Order of Axis. [21:14] Aqua     Yes, I am the goddess Aqua! [21:17] Both     Did you dream that? [21:19] Aqua     No! [21:20] Luna     Emergency! Emergency! [21:22] Luna     All adventurers, please arm yourselves at once [21:25] Luna     and gather at the front gate of the city! [21:27] Luna     Adventurer Satou Kazuma-san     and his party in particular, [21:30] Luna     as quickly as possible, please! [21:33] All     Huh? [21:44] Kaz     Him again? [21:47] Dul     All of you... [21:50] Dul     Why haven't you come to the castle?! [21:52] Dul     You wretches! [21:58] Kaz     What? SIGN    Mr. Satou Kazuma is growing noticeably stronger, and is progressing so well, he could defeat the Devil King as soon as tomorrow. This is entirely due to my supervisory talents. Mr. Kazuma, who was once a shut-in NEET, seems to be in constant awe of my shrewd coaching, which is gentle like a mother's, yet strict like a father's. Therefore, I would like to request permission to return home immediately... Huh? I can't? No! SIGN    Episode 6 SIGN    A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight! E6 - A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:05] Dul     Why haven't you come to the castle?! [00:07] Dul     You wretches! [00:10] Kaz     What? [00:11] Kaz     Why? [00:12] Kaz     We're not firing explosion     magic at you anymore... [00:15] Dul     Not firing it at me, you say? [00:17] Dul     That's a barefaced lie! [00:21] Dul     That crazy crimson demon girl [00:24] Dul     is still coming to my castle every single day! [00:27] Kaz     Huh?! [00:31] Kaz     You?! [00:31] Megu     Ow! [00:33] Megu     That's not it! Please hear me out! [00:36] Megu     Until now, I've been able to settle for     unleashing my magic on empty plains, [00:41] Megu     but since I learned the allure of using     magic attacks on a castle, well... [00:46] Megu     Now I need something big and     hard, or I just can't endure it. [00:50] Kaz     Don't say that while fidgeting! [00:52] Kaz     Besides, you can't move after     unleashing your magic! [00:55] Kaz     Which means you must've had an accomplice... [01:01] Kaz     You?! [01:03] Aqua     Ow! Ow! Ow! [01:04] Aqua     I can't get any worthwhile quests because of him, [01:07] Aqua     so I wanted revenge! [01:11] Dul     Hear me, fools. My name is Verdia. [01:15] Dul     This isn't the only thing I'm deeply offended by. [01:19] Dul     Did you not have the backbone to     seek retribution for your ally's death?! [01:24] Dul     I may be evil now, but in life,     I strove to be an upstanding knight. [01:27] Dul     In my opinion, [01:30] Dul     allowing the death of that crusader,     a model knight who [01:33] Dul     protected her ally and received     my curse, to go to waste is simply— [01:37] Dul     What? [01:42] Dark     G-Gosh, um... [01:45] Dark     A model knight? [01:47] Dul     H-Huh? [01:50] Dul     What?! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 6 SIGN    "A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight!" [03:23] Dul     Huh? You're... alive? [03:27] Aqua     What's this? [03:28] Aqua     Was this dullahan waiting     for us the whole time, [03:31] Aqua     with no idea that we easily dispelled     his curse after he left? [03:35] Aqua     That's hilarious! Super hilarious! [03:39] Dul     I-If I felt like it, I could massacre     every inhabitant of this city! [03:40] Aqua     That's so pathetic! [03:45] Aqua     You're awfully cocky for an undead! [03:47] Dul     Do you think a beginner     adventurer's magic can— [03:49] Aqua     Turn Undead! [04:01] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma, this isn't right! It's not working! [04:04] Kaz     No, it looked pretty effective to me. [04:06] Kaz     He went "Gah!" and all. [04:09] Dul     Are you really a beginner? [04:14] Dul     Isn't this city a gathering     place for beginners? [04:18] Dul     F-Fine, then. [04:20] Dul     There's no need for me to fight you myself. [04:25] Dul     Undead Knights! [04:27] Dul     Show this lot a glimpse of Hell! [04:30] Kaz     I bet he's freaked out because your magic     was more effective than he expected. [04:35] Dul     Th-That's not it! [04:37] Dul     Why should the boss be the one you fight first? [04:40] Dul     You start with the small fry— [04:41] Aqua     Sacred Turn Undead! [04:48] Dul     M-My eyes! My eyes! [04:50] Aqua     Wh-What should we do, Kazuma? [04:53] Aqua     My purification magic isn't affecting him at all! [04:55] Kaz     He did go "Yah!" and all.     I think it was very effective. [05:02] Ful     That's enough! [05:04] Ful     Slaughter everyone in the city! [05:10] A     Call a priest! [05:11] B     Someone go to the church and bring     back all the holy water they've got! [05:16] Dul     Now, let me hear your screams of despair! [05:24] Kaz     Hey! [05:26] Aqua     Why are they all targeting me?! I'm a goddess! [05:29] Aqua     I've been a good girl every day, too! [05:31] Dark     No fair! [05:33] Dark     I've been a really good     girl every day, so why?! [05:37] Kaz     Maybe the lost undead are instinctively     seeking salvation from a goddess? [05:43] Kaz     Megumin! Can't you nail that swarm     of undead with explosion magic? [05:47] Megu     But when they're all scattered like that... [05:51] Aqua     Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! [05:59] Kaz     You idiot! Don't come this way! [06:01] Kaz     If you go the other way,     I'll treat you to dinner tonight! [06:04] Aqua     I'll treat you if you do something! [06:07] Aqua     I can't get rid of them, no matter     how many times I use Turn Undead! [06:11] Kaz     Damn, there are too many of them! [06:14] Kaz     Wait a second. [06:15] Kaz     Megumin, ready your magic and stand by! [06:18] Megu     R-Roger! [06:20] Kaz     Aqua! Follow me! [06:23] Aqua     What for?! [06:26] Kaz     Megumin! [06:28] Kaz     Now! [06:30] Megu     What an ideal situation! [06:32] Megu     I'm grateful! I'm deeply grateful, Kazuma! [06:38] Megu     My name is Megumin! [06:41] Megu     I am a user of the finest magic     crimson demons possess, [06:44] Megu     and I command explosion magic. [06:46] Megu     Behold my power! [06:50] Megu     Explosion! [07:07] Megu     It appears every last person     here has been left speechless [07:10] Megu     after witnessing my explosion magic. [07:15] Megu     That felt amazing... [07:20] Kaz     Need me to carry you? [07:22] Megu     P-Please. [07:27] A     She did it! The crazy crimson demon girl did it! [07:30] B     She's crazy in the head, and so is her name,     but she pulls through when it counts! [07:34] C     I see you in a new light, crazy girl! [07:37] Megu     Grr. [07:38] Megu     I'm sorry. [07:39] Megu     Please remember those people's faces for me. [07:42] Megu     I'll blow them all away later. [07:47] Dul     Amusing... [07:52] Dul     Amusing! Very amusing! [07:55] Dul     I didn't think you'd actually     annihilate my underlings! [07:58] Dul     All right, then, as promised... [08:01] Dark     Kazuma! [08:04] Dul     I shall personally take all of you on! [08:08] Kaz     Megumin is out of magic power. [08:10] Kaz     Aqua's magic isn't enough     to deliver a fatal blow. [08:13] Kaz     What do we do? [08:14] Se     No need to fear! [08:15] Se     The city's ace in the hole will be here soon! [08:18] He     Yeah! It doesn't matter if he was a     leader in the Devil King's army or not! [08:22] Kaz     The city's ace in the hole? [08:24] Ga     We can create a blind spot     if we all attack at once. [08:26] Ga     Get him, everyone! [08:31] Dul     It appears you wish to die first. [08:38] Kaz     Stop! [08:39] Kaz     Don't go! [09:02] Dul     Who's next? [09:04] Mag     Wh-When Mitsurugi-san gets here,     he'll slay you in a single blow! [09:09] Kaz     Mitsurugi? [09:11] Kaz     Mitsurugi is... [09:16] Kaz     The guy whose sword I stole and sold... [09:26] Dul     Then, until he arrives... [09:28] Kaz     This is bad. Seriously bad! [09:31] Dul     Do you think you can hold out?! [09:41] Dark     How dare you? [09:43] Dark     How dare you do that to them?! [09:45] Kaz     Stop, Darkness! Your sword     is no match for him! [09:47] Dark     As one whose calling is to protect others, [09:50] Dark     there are some matters I cannot concede! [09:55] Dark     I-I'm sure [09:57] Dark     you intend to use those strong     arms of yours to lewdly torture [10:01] Dark     and make an example of     me in front of everyone! [10:04] Dark     Try it if you think you can! [10:06] Dark     In fact, show me what you've got! [10:08] Dul     Enough of the weird delusions! [10:10] Dul     They'll get the wrong idea about me! [10:13] Dark     You're on, Verdia! [10:16] Dul     It's inevitable that a holy knight     would be my opponent! [10:33] Dul     Huh? [10:36] Kaz     Oh, come on, now! [10:37] Kaz     You even miss stationary     targets? How embarrassing! [10:41] Kaz     This girl is my ally! [10:43] Dul     What a disappointment. [10:46] Dul     That's enough! [10:50] Kaz     Darkness! [11:01] Kaz     Darkness, stand down! [11:02] Dark     A crusader [11:04] Dark     can't stand down when protecting     someone behind them! [11:08] Dark     That is absolute! [11:10] Dark     B-Besides... [11:12] Dark     Besides, this dullahan is the     shrewd man I thought he was! [11:16] Kaz     What? [11:18] Dark     He's been shaving away at my armor [11:21] Dark     a little at a time for a while now. [11:23] Dark     Instead of stripping me nude, [11:25] Dark     he's left only parts of my armor intact, [11:27] Dark     leaving me in an even more provocative state     than nakedness to publicly shame me! [11:33] Dul     Huh? [11:34] Dark     Bring it on! [11:35] Dark     Is this all there is to a shaming     by the Devil King's army?! [11:38] Dark     Hit me some more! Now! [11:41] Dul     Huh?! [11:42] Kaz     At least consider the time and place! [11:44] Kaz     You freaking hardcore pervert! [11:46] Dark     Hardcore pervert? [11:50] Dark     Y-You should consider the time     and place yourself, Kazuma! [11:53] Dark     Taking a beating from a monster in public     is already taking everything I've got... [12:00] Dark     What in the world are you and     this dullahan trying to do to me?! [12:05] Dul     I'm not doing anything! [12:06] Kaz     I'm not doing anything! [12:08] Kaz     Oh, well. You bought me some time. [12:12] Kaz     Create Water! [12:20] Dark     I don't dislike being treated this     way without warning, but... [12:25] Dark     Consider the time and place. [12:26] Kaz     Th-That's not it! This isn't     some weird foreplay! [12:29] Kaz     I'm doing this! Freeze! [12:33] Dul     I messed up! [12:35] Kaz     As long as it's harder for you     to dodge, that's enough. [12:37] Kaz     This is what I was really going for! [12:39] Kaz     Steal! [12:46] Dul     That wasn't a bad trick. [12:48] Kaz     Wha— [12:49] Dul     This just shows our difference in level. [12:52] Dul     Now, then, I'll put an end to this farce. [12:58] Dark     Kazuma! [13:02] Kaz     Darkness! [13:08] Kaz     Remember! Our opponent is a dullahan. [13:10] Kaz     What would his weakness have been in an RPG? [13:14] Kaz     Watch him closely! [13:16] Kaz     How was he able to dodge my water so adeptly? [13:20] Kaz     A dullahan's weak point is... [13:21] Kaz     An undead monster's weak point is... [13:29] Dul     As a former knight, I give     my thanks to the Devil King [13:33] Dul     and the false gods for this chance     to have a bout with you. [13:36] Dul     This is farewell, heroic yet foolish crusader! [13:41] Kaz     Create Water! [13:45] Dul     What are you trying to do, boy?! [13:48] Kaz     It's water! [13:50] Mag     Create Water! [13:52] Dul     Stop those attacks! [13:54] Mag     Create Water! [13:56] Mag2     Create Water! [14:00] Dul     C-Curse you all! [14:01] Kaz     Hit him! Hit him! Damn! [14:04] Kaz     I'm going to run out of magic! [14:05] Aqua     Hey, what's all the commotion? [14:07] Aqua     What sort of game are you playing? [14:10] Aqua     Are you an idiot? [14:11] Kaz     Damn her! [14:13] Kaz     His weakness is water! [14:14] Kaz     Even a lame goddess like you must     be able to use one water spell! [14:18] Aqua     It's about time I punished you,     you insolent jerk! [14:21] Aqua     I can use flood-class water magic. [14:23] Kaz     You can?! [14:24] Aqua     Apologize! [14:26] Aqua     Apologize for calling a water     goddess a "lame goddess"! [14:30] Kaz     I'll apologize all you want later! [14:32] Kaz     Hurry up and do it, you useless goddess! [14:35] Aqua     You just called me a useless goddess! [14:37] Aqua     Just you watch. [14:39] Aqua     I'll show you what a goddess can do! [14:43] Aqua     All my followers in this world, [14:46] Aqua     the water goddess Aqua commands you. [14:48] Kaz     Huh? [14:51] Dul     This is... [14:52] Aqua     Answer my request, my prayer, [14:55] Aqua     and show the world thy power! [14:57] Dul     Oh, no! [15:01] Dul     L-Let go! You perverted knight! [15:03] Dark     How abusive... [15:06] Aqua     Sacred Create Water! [15:14] Dul     It's water! [15:17] Kaz     That's enough! Enough, I said! [15:39] Dul     What are you thinking? [15:41] Dul     Are you an idiot? [15:42] Dul     Are you a complete imbecile?! [15:45] Aqua     Now's your chance, Kazuma! [15:47] Kaz     This time, I'll steal your weapon for sure! [15:50] Dul     I may be weakened, [15:52] Dul     but a beginner adventurer's Steal [15:54] Dul     will never take possession of my weapon! [15:58] Dul     I'll end this once and for all! [16:02] Kaz     Steal! [16:12] Dul     U-Um... Well... [16:21] Kaz     Hey, you guys! Let's play soccer! [16:24] Dul     Soccer? [16:25] Kaz     Soccer is... [16:28] Kaz     A game where you handle the ball     with only your feet, not your hands! [16:32] A     Only your feet? [16:33] Dul     Whoa! Hey, s-stop it! [16:36] Dul     Help, help! Stop! Hey, ow! Stop it! [16:41] Dark     We should be all right,     now that he's so weakened. [16:43] Dark     Give him a proper send-off. [16:46] Kaz     Yeah. Aqua! [16:48] Aqua     Leave it to me! [16:49] Kaz     Do it. [16:57] Aqua     Sacred Turn Undead! [17:03] Dul     Hey, wait! [17:27] Megu     Oh? [17:28] Megu     Darkness, what are you doing? [17:32] Dark     Saying a prayer. [17:36] Dark     Sedol, the huge liar who said     I was brawny in my armor... [17:42] Dark     Heinz, who teased me, saying,     "Fan me with that huge sword of yours! [17:45] Dark     You can hit me with it if you     want, but only if you can!" [17:50] Dark     And Galil, [17:51] Dark     who let me into his party     for only a single day, [17:54] Dark     and screamed at me, saying, "Why are you     charging into the swarm of monsters?" [18:00] Dark     They were all slain by that dullahan. [18:04] Dark     If I could see them once more, [18:07] Dark     I'd love to have a drink with them. [18:10] All     H-Hey... [18:15] He     It actually bothers you that     your sword always misses? [18:18] He     Um, I-I'm sorry. [18:21] He     I'll treat you later. [18:23] Dark     Huh? [18:24] Dark     You're alive? [18:29] Aqua     For someone as great as me, [18:30] Aqua     reviving newly-fallen adventurers     is a piece of cake! [18:31] (Flashback) Aqua     Resurrection! Resurrection! [18:33] (Flashback) Aqua     Resurrection! [18:35] Aqua     Now you can have that drink together! [18:38] E     I see. Darkness-san has a lot     to deal with, doesn't she? [18:41] A     Shh! She'll hear you. [18:43] Dark     I want to die... [18:44] Kaz     Don't hold back. [18:46] Kaz     We'll keep criticizing her like     this for three days or so. [18:49] Dark     Th-This isn't the type of shameful abuse I wanted! SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Kill the Dullahan! SIGN    Quest Clear!! [19:01] All     KO-NO-SU-BA! SIGN    The Next Day [19:07] Kaz     Things somehow worked out this time, [19:10] Kaz     but I think I'll lead a leisurely life,     without danger, from now on. [19:15] Megu     I've been waiting for you, Kazuma! [19:17] Megu     Listen to this! [19:18] Megu     Darkness is being super stingy and     telling me I'm too young to have any! [19:22] Dark     No, wait, that isn't what I... [19:24] Aqua     You're late! [19:28] Kaz     She's drunk already! [19:30] Luna     Oh, Kazuma-san, I've been waiting for you. [19:33] Luna     Actually, I have a special     reward for you and your party. [19:38] Kaz     Huh? Really? [19:42] Kaz     Um, why only us? [19:44] Ruff     Who knew you'd defeat a     leader of the Devil King's army? [19:47] Ruff     I believed in the radiance     within you from the very start. [19:52] Kaz     The radiance within me? [19:54] Ruff     A light that shines on the gates of Hell... [19:57] Ruff     There may have been an old legend like that. [19:59] B     That's right! If you weren't here, [20:02] B     we never would have defeated the dullahan! [20:04] Adv     Kazuma! Kazuma! [20:07] Adv     Kazuma! Kazuma! [20:10] Adv     Kazuma! Kazuma! [20:11] Kaz     I'm not really used to this, but it's pretty nice. [20:15] Luna     Ahem! [20:16] Luna     In recognition of Satou Kazuma-san's     party's achievement, [20:20] Luna     I award you 300 million eris. [20:23] All     Th-Three hundred million?! [20:25] B     Treat me, Kazuma! [20:27] E     Kazuma-sama, treat me, treat me! [20:29] Kaz     Group meeting! [20:31] Kaz     I have something to tell all of you. [20:33] Aqua     We won thanks to my abilities,     so we should go 90/10. [20:36] Kaz     Now that we've acquired great wealth, [20:38] Kaz     I'm going to live a safe and leisurely life. [20:41] Dark     Wait! [20:42] Kaz     I won't wait! [20:43] Dark     It's a big problem for me if I can't     fight strong enemies anymore! [20:45] Kaz     It's not a problem! [20:45] Megu     It bothers me, too. [20:47] Megu     I'm going to join you, defeat the Devil King, [20:50] Megu     and earn the title of strongest magician. [20:52] Kaz     You won't earn it! [20:52] Aqua     You're going to go back     to being a shut-in NEET? [20:54] Kaz     I'm not going to, because I'm not a NEET! [20:56] Aqua     I won't be able to go home! [20:58] Kaz     I've already made up my mind! [20:59] Aqua     Huh? [21:00] Kaz     Don't "huh" me, you useless goddess! [21:00] Luna     Um, Kazuma-san... [21:01] Aqua     "Useless goddess"— [21:04] Aqua     Is it a check? It's a check, right? [21:07] Luna     Actually, [21:09] Luna     the flood of water Aqua-san summoned [21:12] Luna     caused substantial damage to the outer walls... [21:16] Luna     Of course, defeating a leader of the     Devil King's army is a big accomplishment, [21:19] Luna     so I won't insist you pay back the full sum. [21:21] Luna     I just ask that you pay a portion... [21:24] Aqua     Sneak away... [21:24] Kaz     Wait. [21:26] Dark     The reward is 300 million, [21:28] Dark     and the cost of compensation is 340 million, huh? [21:31] Megu     Our bloody journey of magic [21:34] Megu     has only just begun. [21:36] Dark     Let's go on a quest to take out a     profitable, strong enemy tomorrow. [21:39] Aqua     W-We can split the debt into equal parts... [21:44] Kaz     Am I going to spend my entire life [21:46] Kaz     in this irrational world     with these hopeless allies? [21:50] Kaz     I gently closed my eyes, [21:52] Kaz     and firmly decided I would kill the Devil King, [21:55] Kaz     in order to escape from this     good-for-nothing world. SIGN    My name is Megumin. I leave this record to pass down tales of my great exploits to future generations. The mighty magic power of the extraordinary magician Megumin made the Devil King's army tremble in fear. The people she has saved revered her from the bottoms of their hearts, and all the children were entranced by her. There was a flood of fans waiting for her at the guild, enough that she could have handed out numbered tickets. -Written Preface of the Great Magician SIGN    Episode 7 SIGN    A Second Death in This Freezing Season! E7 - A Second Death in This Freezing Season! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:09] Kaz     Where am I? [00:13] Kaz     Oh, did I die again? SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 7 SIGN    "A Second Death in This Freezing Season!" [01:53] Kaz     After the battle with Verdia,     a leader in the Devil King's army, [01:56] Kaz     the season turned to winter. [01:58] Kaz     That day, I groaned wholeheartedly,     as if I were coughing up blood: [02:04] Kaz     I want money! [02:06] Aqua     Huh? Everyone wants that, obviously! [02:10] Aqua     Anyway, you're entirely too unresourceful. [02:12] Aqua     You make a goddess like myself     sleep in a stable every single night! [02:16] Aqua     Aren't you ashamed of yourself? [02:19] Aqua     If you understand that,     then give me more luxury. [02:22] Aqua     Spoil me more! [02:25] Kaz     Do you not get why I want more money? [02:29] Aqua     Huh? [02:30] Kaz     Debt! [02:33] Kaz     Thanks to the debt you've racked up, [02:35] Kaz     most of the reward money we earn [02:38] Kaz     from every quest we do is     deducted to repay those debts! [02:41] Kaz     Just this morning... Just this morning, [02:43] Kaz     when I awoke in the straw of the stable,     my eyelashes were frozen solid! [02:48] Kaz     If I keep sleeping in that stable,     I'm going to freeze to death for sure! [02:54] Aqua     I can't help it! [02:56] Aqua     This city may have perished     in that battle with Verdia, [02:59] Aqua     if not for my super astounding efforts! [03:02] Aqua     You should exalt me more! [03:04] Aqua     All of you should praise me,     praise me, and spoil me rotten! [03:07] Kaz     You attention whore! [03:09] Kaz     If your feats were that astounding, [03:12] Kaz     then the rewards, accolades,     and debt are all yours! [03:16] Kaz     Pay off your debts on your own. [03:19] Aqua     Wait! I'm sorry! [03:21] Aqua     I apologize for getting carried     away, so don't abandon me! [03:25] Dark     Why all the fuss so early in the morning? [03:27] Megu     Do we have some nice job lined up? [03:30] Kaz     No, we haven't started looking for work yet. [03:33] Kaz     Given the situation and all... [03:37] C     What'll we do today? [03:38] D     I'm sleeping at the inn. It's cold! [03:41] Megu     The reward for fighting off a     leader in the Devil King's army [03:44] Megu     was distributed to every     adventurer who participated. [03:48] Megu     There's no reason for anyone to go     hunting dangerous winter monsters [03:51] Megu     when their coin pouches are full. [03:53] Megu     I gladly welcome it, personally. [03:56] Dark     S-So do I. [03:58] Dark     The stronger the enemy, the better. [04:00] All     KO-NO-SU-BA! [04:06] Kaz     The reward is well and good, but there     seriously aren't any decent quests... [04:09] Dark     Kazuma, Kazuma! [04:10] Kaz     I'm Kazuma. [04:11] Dark     How about this? [04:13] Dark     A kill quest for a pack of White Wolves.     The reward is a million eris! [04:17] Dark     Just imagining a pack of wild     beasts making a mess of me... [04:23] Kaz     Nope. [04:24] Megu     Kazuma, Kazuma! [04:25] Kaz     Yes, I'm Kazuma. [04:26] Megu     How about this? [04:28] Megu     A kill quest for a One-Shot Bear! [04:31] Megu     Now is the time for me to     teach it which of us has [04:35] Megu     the stronger one-shot attack     with my explosion magic! [04:38] Kaz     I want nothing to do with a monster     with such a dangerous-sounding name. [04:41] Kaz     I bet we'd die instantly if it     so much as grazed our necks. [04:46] Kaz     "The mobile fortress 'Destroyer' is approaching, [04:49] Kaz     so we are recruiting scouts to     predict the route it will take." [04:52] Kaz     What is this? What's a "Destroyer"? [04:56] Dark     The Destroyer is the Destroyer. [04:58] Dark     It's a massive fortress     that moves at high speed. [05:01] Megu     It lumbers around, trampling everything. [05:04] Megu     It's oddly popular with children. [05:06] Kaz     I see. I don't get it. [05:09] Kaz     Let's see. What's this? [05:13] Kaz     A Snow Sprite kill quest? [05:15] Kaz     Hey, what are Snow Sprites? [05:18] Kaz     They don't sound all that     strong, based on the name, [05:22] Kaz     but it says the reward is 100,000 eris each. [05:24] Megu     There are lots of Snow     Sprites in the snowy plains. [05:27] Megu     It's said that spring will come half a     day sooner for every one you kill. [05:31] Kaz     Wow. [05:31] Megu     They're very weak monsters,     so they're easily defeated, but... [05:34] Aqua     If we're accepting that     quest, I'll go get ready! [05:37] Kaz     Hey, wait. [05:39] Kaz     You're laughing? [05:40] Dark     Snow Sprites, huh? [05:43] Kaz     Why does this masochistic crusader,     who always wants to fight strong monsters, [05:49] Kaz     look so happy? [05:52] Kaz     Still, money takes priority right now! [06:00] Kaz     These are Snow Sprites? [06:02] Kaz     Hey, can't you do something     about that outfit? [06:06] Kaz     You look like some dumb kid going     cicada-catching in the middle of winter. [06:09] Aqua     I can catch Snow Sprites     with this, and bottle them up. [06:13] Aqua     I had the idea that if we mix     them in with our drinks, [06:17] Aqua     we can have ice-cold drinks whenever we want! [06:20] Aqua     Well? Aren't I smart?! [06:22] Kaz     I can see how this is going to play out... [06:25] Kaz     Darkness, what happened to your armor? [06:27] Kaz     Are you going to be all right in that gear? [06:31] Dark     No problem. [06:33] Dark     I'm a little cold, but that in itself is... [06:39] Kaz     I guess a pervert with steamy thoughts     has a high body temperature to match. SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Kill the Snow Sprites! [06:53] Kaz     Number three, wait! [06:57] Kaz     Damn! It's darting all over! [07:00] Aqua     There! [07:01] Aqua     I caught my fourth one! Kazuma, look here! [07:05] Aqua     I caught a bunch! [07:08] Kaz     If my kill count comes out too low, [07:11] Kaz     I'll kill the Snow Sprites she caught, too. [07:15] Kaz     Now! [07:20] Megu     Kazuma! [07:20] Kaz     What? [07:21] Megu     Can I blow away all the ones in     the area with explosion magic? [07:24] Kaz     All right! Wipe them all out! [07:26] Megu     Roger! [07:29] Megu     By my efflux of deep crimson, [07:31] Megu     topple this white world! [07:36] Megu     Explosion! [08:04] Kaz     Hey, are you all right? [08:08] Megu     I got eight of them. [08:10] Megu     That makes nine defeated Snow Sprites total. [08:13] Megu     I even went up a level. [08:16] Kaz     Oh, nice going! [08:17] Kaz     It would've been a little cooler if you     weren't buried in the snow, though. [08:22] Kaz     What the heck? [08:23] Kaz     Killing Snow Sprites is totally delectable! [08:28] Kaz     Why doesn't everybody do this? [08:31] Dark     There it is! [08:32] kaz     Huh? [08:38] Kaz     Wh-What is that?! [08:39] Dark     So exciting... [08:42] Kaz     Sh-She's playing dead... [08:44] Aqua     Kazuma! [08:46] Aqua     I'll tell you why adventurers don't     accept Snow Sprite kill quests. [08:51] Kaz     Huh? [08:53] Aqua     You lived in Japan, [08:56] Aqua     so I'm sure you've at least heard the name     in the news and weather forecasts. [08:59] Aqua     He's the Snow Sprites' master, [09:02] Aqua     and is also said to evoke the image of winter... [09:05] Aqua     Yes, [09:07] Aqua     the Winter Shogun has arrived! [09:13] Dark     Th-The Winter Shogun! [09:15] Dark     One of the specially designated monsters [09:18] Dark     the country has put a huge bounty on! [09:20] Kaz     Huh?! [09:22] Dark     I'm sure this monster plans     to use his position as shogun [09:25] Dark     to have his way with me. [09:28] Dark     I'll resist him, [09:30] Dark     but he will likely be beyond my     capabilities, and I'll be shamed... [09:34] Kaz     Stupid! [09:36] Kaz     Everything in this good-for-nothing world,     the people, the food, and the monsters, [09:39] Kaz     are all absolutely stupid! [09:57] Dark     M-My sword! [10:05] Aqua     Sprites pick up the subconscious     thoughts of the people they encounter [10:09] Aqua     and take their form. [10:11] Aqua     But the only ones strolling     around outside town [10:14] Aqua     in winter are mostly just cheat-users     who came here from Japan. [10:18] Kaz     So this guy was brought to life by some     idiot who came here from Japan, [10:21] Kaz     whose train of thought associated     winter with the Winter Shogun?! [10:25] Kaz     Talk about a pain in the ass! [10:29] Kaz     When this is over, I'm gonna step on the girl     who's been playing dead this whole time. [10:34] Aqua     Kazuma! [10:35] Kaz     What is it?! [10:36] Aqua     The Winter Shogun is generous. [10:38] Aqua     If we politely apologize, he'll overlook this! [10:49] Aqua     Prostrate yourself!     Prostrate yourself before him! [10:51] Aqua     Come on, everyone, toss your     weapons aside and bow down! [10:54] Aqua     Apologize! You hurry up     and apologize too, Kazuma! [10:59] Kaz     The former-something-or-other who appears     to have abandoned all of her pride [11:03] Kaz     prostrated herself quite     magnificently, indeed. [11:08] Kaz     Hey, hurry and bow your head, too! [11:11] Dark     There may be nobody watching, [11:12] Dark     but a knight such as myself would     never bow her head to a monster. [11:17] Kaz     You try to go off with monsters     willingly all the time! [11:20] Kaz     Don't show off your pointless     pride only at times like these! [11:24] Dark     S-Stop it! [11:26] Dark     You're forcing me to bow my     head when I don't want to, [11:29] Dark     and shoving my face into the ground! [11:31] Kaz     Huh? [11:33] Dark     What a reward! [11:36] Dark     The snow is so cold... [11:38] Aqua     Kazuma! [11:40] Aqua     Your weapon, your weapon! [11:41] Aqua     Hurry and throw down the     sword you're holding! [11:55] Kaz     That's right. [11:56] Kaz     I was killed by the Winter Shogun. [12:00] Eris     Satou Kazuma-san. [12:03] Eris     Welcome to the afterlife. [12:06] Eris     I am Eris, the goddess who will     lead you down a new path. [12:12] Eris     Your life in this world is now over. [12:20] Kaz     This feels familiar. [12:24] Kaz     Is this how it was when I met Aqua, too? [12:29] kaz     Are you a goddess of this world? [12:32] Eris     Yes. Satou Kazuma-san, [12:35] Eris     you came all the way from     peaceful Japan to this world, [12:39] Eris     only for this to happen to you... [12:42] Kaz     What's with this goddess? [12:44] Kaz     Is she sincerely mourning my death? [12:47] Kaz     She's not like that useless goddess! [12:50] Eris     Brave hero who came from a parallel world... [12:52] Kaz     Y-Yes? [12:54] Eris     With my power, [12:56] Eris     I shall have you reincarnated in     peaceful Japan, to an affluent family, [12:59] Eris     and will make sure you     lead a life of comfort. [13:03] Kaz     Huh? You can do that? [13:06] Eris     If you wish it. [13:08] Kaz     Seriously?! [13:10] Kaz     I-If possible, I'd like [13:12] Kaz     above-average parameters in     charm, wisdom, and strength, [13:14] Kaz     and I'd be even happier in a life where     a beautiful girl is my childhood friend! [13:18] Eris     Um, that is more than I can... [13:21] Kaz     Wow, thank goodness! [13:23] Kaz     I thought it was all over, [13:25] Kaz     but now it feels like I pulled     through by the skin of my teeth. [13:28] Kaz     This is a reward for trying my hardest, right? [13:32] Kaz     Because my life up to now had been so awful! [13:35] Eris     Yes. [13:36] Eris     I looked in on your life     from time to time myself. [13:40] Eris     I believe your days were     filled with adversity. [13:43] Kaz     You said it! [13:45] Kaz     I reincarnated thinking I'd get to go on     a thrilling adventure, like in a game. [13:50] Kaz     This is like a misleading promo video, isn't it? [13:54] Kaz     The useless goddess who came     with me as a reincarnation perk [13:56] Kaz     was just an arrogant good-for-nothing. [13:59] Kaz     We recruited allies, [14:01] Kaz     but the only ones who turned up were a crazy [14:03] Kaz     explosion girl who fell flat     every time she used magic, [14:05] Kaz     and a masochistic, [14:07] Kaz     perverted crusader whose attacks always missed. [14:10] Kaz     I was an adventurer, [14:12] Kaz     but I did construction, side jobs,     and was forced into cabbage hunting. [14:16] Kaz     I was in debt deep enough to sell an     organ after defeating a boss enemy. [14:21] Kaz     Sleeping in the stables didn't restore my     strength, it only froze me nearly to death. [14:27] Kaz     Do you know how it feels to have your     eyelashes frozen solid every morning? [14:31] Kaz     The previous world's game balance     was beyond terrible, if you ask me. [14:45] Kaz     H-Huh? [14:51] Kaz     Why? [14:53] Eris     After you've been reborn, [14:56] Eris     may you be blessed once     more with kind encounters. [15:06] Kaz     I see. [15:08] Kaz     It appears [15:10] Kaz     I was unexpectedly fond of     that good-for-nothing world [15:15] Kaz     that I thought I hated... [15:18] Kaz     I wanted to adventure with     those girls a little longer. [15:24] Aqua     Now, return to us, Kazuma! [15:26] Kaz     Huh?! [15:27] Aqua     How could you get killed off so easily? [15:29] Aqua     It's too soon for you to die! [15:31] Kaz     Wh-What?! [15:32] Eris     Th-This voice... Aqua-senpai?! [15:35] Eris     Is it really you?! [15:36] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma, can you hear me? [15:38] Aqua     I cast recovery magic on your body, [15:41] Aqua     so you can come back to this side now. [15:43] Kaz     Oh, for real?! [15:45] Eris     P-Please wait a moment! [15:47] Eris     You've been reborn once already,     so according to the laws of Heaven, [15:50] Eris     you can't be revived again! [15:53] Kaz     Is that true? [15:54] Kaz     Aqua! [15:55] Kaz     She says that according to the     laws of Heaven or whatever, [15:59] Kaz     I can't be revived again since     I've been reborn once before! [16:02] Aqua     Huh? What goddess is spouting that nonsense? [16:06] Aqua     Hey, you! Identify yourself! [16:08] Aqua     Where does a goddess in charge of a     backwater like this get off talking to me, [16:12] Aqua     an elite in charge of Japan, that way?! [16:15] Kaz     Hey, knock it off! [16:16] Kaz     The face of the goddess in charge     of that backwater is twitching now! [16:21] Eris     Um, [16:22] Eris     she's a goddess called "Eris"... [16:24] Aqua     Eris?! [16:26] Aqua     The overrated Eris who's grown cocky     and even became a unit of currency, [16:29] Aqua     just because she's worshiped a little     in the established religion of this world? [16:33] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma! [16:34] Kaz     Yes? [16:34] Aqua     If Eris gives you any more trouble, [16:37] Aqua     I'll confiscate her breast pads— [16:38] Eris     I-I understand! [16:39] Kaz     Pads? [16:39] Eris     An exception! I'll deem this an exception! [16:41] Eris     I'll open the gate right now! [16:43] Kaz     They're pads? [16:44] Eris     My goodness, [16:45] Eris     Aqua-senpai is as unreasonable as ever. [16:46] Kaz     They're really pads?! [16:48] Eris     KONOSUBA! [16:49] Kaz     I don't mind if they're pads. [16:53] Eris     You have now been connected     to the living world. [16:55] Eris     This normally never happens, you know. [17:00] Eris     You are called Kazuma-san, correct? [17:02] Kaz     Huh? Oh, uh, yes! [17:09] Eris     This is our little secret, okay? [17:31] Megu     ...zuma! Kazuma, please wake up! [17:34] Megu     Kazuma! [17:38] Aqua     Oh, you're finally awake? [17:40] Aqua     Sheesh, that girl's so hard-headed. [17:43] Both     Kazuma! [17:46] Kaz     Th-This is kind of extremely embarrassing. [17:50] Aqua     Hey, come on, Kazuma. [17:52] Aqua     What're you blushing for? Say something! [17:57] Aqua     I brought you back to life, you know. [18:00] Aqua     Don't you have something to say? [18:02] Aqua     Come on. [18:04] Kaz     I want to trade this useless goddess     for that cute goddess from earlier. [18:09] Aqua     Say something. [18:11] Aqua     Like words of gratitude, or an apology     for how you've treated such a [18:14] Aqua     high-class goddess with such     contempt all this time... [18:17] Kaz     Goddess change! [18:19] Aqua     Fine, you damn NEET! [18:22] Aqua     Why don't I send you to     meet Eris right away, then?! [18:27] Dark     N-Now, now, calm down, Aqua! [18:30] Megu     How do you feel? [18:32] Megu     Do you feel strange in any way? [18:35] Kaz     It looks like I'm all right for now. [18:38] Megu     You are? [18:39] Megu     You were killed in such a     terrible way, after all... [18:41] Kaz     Huh? [18:42] Kaz     H-How was I killed? [18:45] Aqua     You were beheaded by the Winter Shogun. [18:48] Aqua     It was quite a splendid slice. [18:51] Kaz     B-Beheaded?! [18:59] Kaz     Winter in this world is [19:01] Kaz     a season where only those who make     it through the struggle for survival, [19:05] Kaz     despite the scarce food and harsh environment, [19:07] Kaz     are allowed to remain alive and active. [19:10] Kaz     There aren't any quests beginners     like us can complete easily. [19:16] Kaz     Okay, retreat! SIGN    Kill The Snow Sprites! SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Retired [19:20] All     KONOSUBA! [19:29] Aqua     Ta-da! [19:30] Megu     A Snow Sprite? [19:33] Aqua     I didn't only prostrate myself. [19:36] Aqua     I pretended to set them all     free, but I saved just one. [19:40] Aqua     I guess even the Winter Shogun couldn't     see through my convincing performance! [19:44] Kaz     Way to go, Aqua! [19:46] Kaz     All right, hand it over and I'll kill it. [19:49] Aqua     What?! No! [19:50] Aqua     I'm going to take this one home     and make it a refrigerator! [19:53] Kaz     The reward for killing those is 100,000 each! [19:56] Aqua     No! Not this one! [19:58] Aqua     I've already given it a name! [20:00] Aqua     I won't let you kill it! [20:02] Aqua     Don't! Don't! [20:03] Kaz     She's resisting more than I expected. [20:05] Dark     Let her be, Kazuma. [20:08] Kaz     Oh, fine. [20:13] Aqua     I'll raise it with care, [20:15] Aqua     and when summer comes,     I'll have it make lots of ice. [20:18] Aqua     Then we'll open a snow cone shop! [20:20] Aqua     We'll sleep together on hot, restless nights. [20:24] Aqua     Hey, what does this little one eat? [20:26] Megu     Do Snow Sprites eat anything to begin with? [20:29] Dark     They look so fluffy and soft. [20:33] Dark     I bet if you put some sugar on it and took     a bite, it'd actually be really tasty. [20:36] Aqua     I-I won't let you eat it! [20:38] Megu     Actually, I've worked up an appetite. [20:42] Aqua     Let's order something! [20:44] Aqua     I wonder what I should choose. [20:47] Kaz     That goddess... [20:50] Kaz     She mourned my death so much, [20:53] Kaz     and smiled kindly when I was revived. [20:58] (Flashback) Eris     This is our little secret, okay? [21:02] Kaz     A righteous, beautiful     girl who's not an oddball! [21:06] Kaz     Finally, so long after I came to this world, the main heroine has appeared! [21:10] Aqua     Kazuma, aren't you going to eat? [21:12] Kaz     Huh? [21:15] Kaz     Hey, how much did you guys order?! [21:18] Megu     Once you become as great a magician as I am, [21:20] Megu     you require great sacrifices     in order to function. [21:24] Aqua     What's with you? [21:25] Kaz     What is it?! [21:25] Aqua     I brought you back to life today, Kazuma! [21:28] Kaz     Huh? [21:28] Aqua     There's nothing wrong with a     reward of this size, is there? [21:31] Aqua     I put a little of the reward     from the quest into it, too! [21:33] Kaz     That money was to get us through the winter! [21:35] Dark     What's the problem? [21:36] Kaz     What?! [21:37] Dark     If we run out of money, we can     just accept another quest. [21:40] Dark     What sort of monster would be good next? [21:42] Dark     Maybe one that secretes a lot of slime, [21:45] Dark     or one with repulsive tentacles? [21:49] Dark     Just imagining it makes me     quiver with excitement! [21:53] Kaz     On second thought, I should've     reincarnated in Japan. [21:57] Kaz     I made the wrong choice... SIGN    The magician of extraordinary genius: Megumin. Beneath her charming exterior lay tremendous explosion magic, which was of such splendor, it was even artistic. She brought tears to the eyes of everyone, from children to the elderly, and even to wicked monsters. Spectators rushed in from around to the world to catch a glimpse of her wonderful magic, to the extent it became a subject of public concern. Record of the Great Magician - Chapter 126 SIGN    Episode 8 SIGN    A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter! E8 - A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:04] Aqua     So cold... [00:06] Aqua     I pawned my coat, too. It's so cold... [00:12] Aqua     Th-The fire! [00:14] Aqua     There. [00:18] Kaz     Hey, what are you doing?! [00:19] Kaz     Quit screwing around! [00:21] Kaz     What do you think you're doing     to my only memento of Japan?! [00:24] Aqua     I don't have any choice! [00:26] Aqua     There's nothing else to burn! [00:27] Kaz     Hand over that raiment, then! [00:29] Kaz     It looks like it would burn     better than a tracksuit! [00:32] Aqua     Let go, you shut-in NEET! [00:34] Aqua     Warm me up! Warm me up more! [00:44] Aqua     Whoa, wait! [00:54] Kaz     I can't go on like this. [00:57] Kaz     We have to do something, and fast. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 8 SIGN    "A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter!" [02:33] Kaz     Our party is poorly balanced. [02:36] Kaz     I'd like a skill that I could use     more like a main weapon. [02:36] Aqua     So cold... [02:43] Kaz     All right, we're here. [02:44] Kaz     Listen, Aqua. [02:45] Kaz     I'll say this while I have the chance.     Don't throw any fits, you hear? [02:48] Aqua     Hey, what're you talking about? [02:50] Aqua     What do you take me for? [02:52] Aqua     I'm no hoodlum or outlaw. [02:55] Aqua     I'm a goddess, a bona fide deity! [02:57] Aqua     Hey! Are you listening to me? [02:59] Aqua     Wait! You should listen gratefully     when a goddess speaks! [03:01] Wiz     Welco— [03:06] Aqua     It's you, you damned undead! [03:08] Aqua     You opened up a shop here? [03:10] Aqua     I'm sleeping in a stable, [03:13] Aqua     and you're running a shop?! [03:15] Aqua     You're pretty full of yourself, for a lich! [03:18] Aqua     I'll burn this shop to the     ground in the name of God— [03:20] Aqua     Ow! [03:22] Wiz     Kazuma-san! [03:25] Kaz     Yo, Wiz. It's been a while. [03:27] All     KONOSUBA! [03:31] Aqua     Do you not even serve tea at this shop? [03:33] Wiz     Oh, I-I'm sorry! [03:35] Wiz     I'll bring some for you right away! [03:41] Kaz     I see she hasn't changed. [03:47] Kaz     Her name is Wiz. [03:49] Kaz     She may look like an ordinary     human, but she's actually a lich. [03:52] Kaz     She's a ruler of the undead,     also known as the "No-Life King." [03:56] Kaz     Although Wiz is a lich, she's a kind girl. [03:59] Kaz     Every night, she'd send spirits wandering     the graveyard home to Heaven. [04:02] Kaz     Through various circumstances, [04:04] Kaz     we took up that job in her stead [04:07] Kaz     and ended up letting her go, but... [04:12] Wiz     H-Here you go. [04:18] Aqua     It's delicious. [04:20] Aqua     You set up a shop even     though you're an undead, [04:22] Aqua     and you prepare warm tea even     though you're an undead... [04:25] Wiz     I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [04:27] Wiz     The likes of me shouldn't live in such luxury! [04:29] Kaz     Stop acting like a spiteful sister-in-law. [04:34] Kaz     Wiz, I have some spare points saved up. [04:37] Kaz     Could you teach me a skill? [04:40] Aqua     Hey! What are you thinking, Kazuma?! [04:42] Aqua     I can't possibly overlook a goddess's     attendant learning a lich's skills! [04:46] Kaz     Who're you calling an attendant?! [04:48] Aqua     Listen. Liches love gloomy, dismal places. [04:53] Aqua     The whole lot of them are     basically related to slugs! [04:56] Wiz     Th-That's terrible! [04:58] Kaz     But people normally can't     learn lich skills, right? [05:01] Kaz     I was thinking it could be [05:03] Kaz     a great asset in battle if     I could learn skills like that. [05:06] Wiz     Um... [05:08] Wiz     Did she say "a goddess's attendant" earlier? [05:10] Aqua     That's right. [05:11] Aqua     I am Aqua. [05:13] Aqua     Yes, the goddess Aqua, worshiped     by the Religious Order of Axis. [05:17] Aqua     Renounce yourself, Lich! [05:20] Kaz     Hey, Wiz. There's no need to get so scared. [05:23] Wiz     No, it's... [05:25] Wiz     There are lots of crazy     people in the Axis sect, [05:28] Wiz     and it's common knowledge that it's     best not to get involved with them, [05:32] Wiz     so when I heard that she's the     head goddess of the Axis sect... [05:38] Aqua     What did you say?! [05:39] Aqua     Curse you! This is what you get! [05:40] Wiz     I'm sorry! [05:42] Kaz     This conversation isn't going anywhere. [05:44] Aqua     KONOSUBA! [05:51] Wiz     By the way, I heard you defeated Verdia-san. [05:56] Wiz     His skill with the sword was     supposed to be quite impressive, [05:59] Wiz     even among the other leaders, [06:02] Wiz     so that's quite amazing. [06:04] Kaz     You sound as if you knew Verdia. [06:08] Wiz     Oh, [06:09] Wiz     that's because I'm one of the eight     leaders of the Devil King's army. [06:12] Aqua     Got you! [06:15] Wiz     Wait! Please wait, Aqua-sama! [06:18] Wiz     I beg of you! Please listen     to what I have to say! [06:23] Aqua     I did it, Kazuma! [06:24] Aqua     With this, all my debts will be forgiven! [06:26] Aqua     In fact, I should get change back! [06:28] Kaz     Hey, Aqua, at least hear her out. [06:32] Kaz     Listen, as an adventurer,     I obviously can't overlook you [06:35] Kaz     saying you're a leader of the Devil King's army... [06:38] Wiz     You've got it all wrong! [06:39] Wiz     I was asked to maintain the barrier     that protects the Devil King's castle! [06:43] Wiz     Of course, I've never once     caused anyone any harm, [06:46] Wiz     and you won't receive any     bounty for defeating me, either! [06:54] Aqua     I don't really get it, but I'll     eliminate you, just in case. [06:57] Wiz     Please wait, Aqua-sama! [06:59] Aqua-Kaz     KONOSUBA! [07:02] Kaz     So you're saying [07:03] Kaz     we can open the path to the Devil King's     castle by defeating all of his leaders. [07:07] Kaz     Is that right? [07:08] Wiz     Yes, yes! That's correct! [07:11] Wiz     That's what the Devil King asked of me! [07:13] Wiz     He said he wouldn't stop me from quietly     managing my shop in a human settlement, [07:17] Wiz     but only asked that I maintain     the barrier as one of his leaders. [07:20] Aqua     So, as long as you're around, [07:22] Aqua     humans can't invade the Devil King's castle? [07:26] Aqua     Kazuma, let's eliminate her. [07:28] Wiz     Wait! Please wait! [07:30] Wiz     Please at least let me live a little while longer! [07:34] Wiz     I still have something I need to do. [07:38] Aqua     I could easily break a simple barrier... [07:42] Aqua     But she's a lich, so let's eliminate her. [07:44] Wiz     Please wait! [07:45] Kaz     Now, hang on. [07:47] Kaz     Even if we broke the barrier right now, [07:49] Kaz     we can't defeat the Devil King     at our current levels. [07:52] Kaz     It'll just end in us being beheaded. [07:55] Aqua     Okay, fine. [07:56] Wiz     Th-Thank you very much! [07:58] Kaz     But are you okay with this? [07:59] Kaz     You don't resent us for     defeating Verdia or anything? [08:02] Wiz     It's not as though I was particularly     close to Verdia-san or anything. [08:11] Wiz     Whenever I would walk around... [08:12] (Flashback) Dul     Whoops! [08:19] (Flashback) Dul     My hand slipped! [08:23] Wiz     He was the sort who would often     roll his own head down by my feet [08:26] Wiz     and try to look up my skirt. [08:29] (Flashback) Dul     Strike! In so many ways, a total strike! [08:33] Wiz     Besides, [08:35] Wiz     I believe my heart is human, even now. [08:39] Kid     Here I go! Hi-yah! [08:42] Wiz     Okay, then, I'll teach you one of my skills. [08:45] Wiz     It's the least I can do to repay     you for letting me go before... [08:50] Kaz     What's wrong? [08:51] Wiz     Um... [08:52] Wiz     All of my skills can only be used on an opponent. [08:57] Kaz     Aqua, sorry, but would you do it? [09:01] Aqua     What skill is an undead planning to use on me? [09:05] Wiz     W-Well... [09:06] Wiz     How about "Drain Touch"? [09:09] Wiz     It's a skill that absorbs an     opponent's health and magic, [09:11] Wiz     and can then distribute that power to others. [09:14] Kaz     I see. Depending on how it's used, [09:16] Kaz     it might be able to compensate for     our party's lack of firepower. [09:20] Wiz     O-Of course, [09:21] Wiz     I'll only absorb a very small amount. [09:27] Aqua     Fine. Absorb as much as you can. [09:30] Aqua     Go right ahead. [09:33] Kaz     It's getting hard to tell which is     the lich and which is the goddess. [09:37] Wiz     O-Okay, [09:39] Wiz     please excuse me. [09:44] Wiz     Huh? H-Huh? [09:46] Aqua     Come on, what's the matter? [09:47] Aqua     Aren't you going to absorb     my magic and health? [09:50] Wiz     H-Huh?! [09:52] Aqua     Ow! [09:53] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma, don't interfere! [09:55] Aqua     This is a battle between a lich and a goddess! [09:58] Aqua     You think I'll let her absorb     my strength that easily?! [10:00] Kaz     Look, we're not getting anywhere,     so let her absorb it! [10:03] Both     KONOSUBA! [10:06] Kaz     All right... [10:25] Kaz     Acquisition complete! [10:26] Wiz     U-Um, Aqua-sama? [10:29] Wiz     It's all right. You can let go of my hand now. [10:32] Wiz     Actually, when you touch me,     it sort of makes my hand tingle, [10:36] Wiz     so I'd appreciate it if you would let go. [10:40] Wiz     A-Aqua-sama? [10:42] Wiz     Um, my hand is starting to burn... [10:45] Wiz     Aqua-sama, I'm going to disappear!     I'm going to disappear! [10:47] Wiz     I'm disappearing! [10:49] Aqua     Ow! [10:50] Kaz     What are you taking advantage     of the moment to do? [10:53] Wiz     You're so mean... [10:55] Kaz     Is it just my imagination,     or does Wiz look kind of see-through? [10:59] Cust     Excuse me! [11:02] Cust     Is Wiz-san here? [11:04] Wiz     KONOSUBA! [11:12] Kaz     This is the place? [11:13] Aqua     Not bad! Yes, not bad at all! [11:16] Aqua     This should be a fitting place for me to live! [11:19] Megu     This was originally some     aristocrat's villa, I hear. [11:23] Dark     But the landlord certainly is generous,     allowing us to live here as [11:26] Dark     a reward if we can exorcise it. [11:28] Kaz     Wiz is apparently known as a     famous magician in our city, [11:33] Kaz     so people often bring cases like these to her. [11:36] Aqua     With this, we can make it through     the winter without worry! [11:40] Aqua     Like they say, "make the     best of a bad situation." [11:43] Aqua     Nothing less from me! [11:44] Kaz     But according to the landlord,     spirits reappear instantly, [11:46] Kaz     no matter how many times they're exorcised. [11:49] Aqua     Leave it to me! [11:50] Aqua     I'm a goddess and an arch priest! [11:53] Aqua     You could call me an anti-undead expert! [12:01] Aqua     I see it. I see it! [12:03] Aqua     There was a child born [12:05] Aqua     in this mansion to an aristocrat who made     a move on his maid, partly in fun, [12:08] Aqua     and that illegitimate child was confined here. [12:11] Aqua     The aristocrat had a weak constitution,     and when he died from illness, [12:14] Aqua     the mother of the illegitimate     child went missing, as well. [12:17] Aqua     The girl remained in the     mansion and succumbed [12:19] Aqua     to the same illness as her father,     passing away at a young age, [12:22] Aqua     lonely and alone, without ever     knowing her parents' faces. [12:22] Kaz     I really want to ask how you know     the setting in such detail... [12:32] Kaz     That'll take care of the cleaning for now. [12:34] Dark     We've decided the room arrangements,     and we've carried in our luggage, [12:37] Dark     so all that's left is to wait for nighttime. [12:39] Kaz     No surprise that it's a little dusty... Huh? [12:40] Aqua     The girl's name was Anna Filante Estheroid. [12:43] Aqua     Her favorite things were stuffed dolls     and tales of adventurers' journeys. [12:48] Aqua     But don't worry. This spirit isn't a bad girl. [12:51] Aqua     Whoa! [12:52] Aqua     She may be a child, but she appears to     like things that are a bit grown-up. [12:55] Aqua     She enjoys sweet, hard drinks— [12:58] Kaz     Okay, everyone's free to do     as they please from now on. [13:01] Kaz     Call out as soon as an evil spirit shows up. [13:04] Kaz     Dismissed! [13:10] Kaz     This is great! [13:11] Kaz     Having my own room is a wonderful thing! [13:14] Kaz     I'm sure the evil spirits     will be gone by morning. [13:17] Kaz     Knowing Aqua, she isn't the     type to let evil spirits [13:21] Kaz     do whatever they like in her own house. [13:24] Kaz     She is an arch priest and goddess, after all. [13:29] Kaz     What?! [13:32] Kaz     What's wrong? Hey, Aqua, what happened?! [13:33] Kaz     Are you all right? [13:37] Aqua     Kazuma! [13:39] Kaz     Hey. [13:40] Aqua     This is super expensive alcohol     that I've been saving. [13:44] Aqua     I was looking forward to taking     leisurely sips of it after my bath... [13:48] Aqua     But when I came back to     my room, as you can see, [13:52] Aqua     it was empty! [13:53] Kaz     I see. Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow. [13:55] Aqua     This is the work of evil spirits! [13:57] Aqua     I'm going to go look around the mansion [13:59] Aqua     and strike down any spirits     that catch my eye! [14:04] Aqua     Show yourselves! [14:09] Aqua     Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead! [14:12] Aqua     Turn Undead! Turn Undead! [14:14] Aqua     Nature's Beauty! [14:15] Aqua     Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead! [14:29] Kaz     I gotta go to the bathroom. [14:36] Kaz     Whoa, scary! [14:37] Kaz     Huh? Was there a doll like that in this room? [14:40] Kaz     It can't be! [14:42] Kaz     A clichéd development like     this can't be happening! [15:05] Kaz     Aqua! Aqua-sama! [15:08] Kaz     Scary! Scary! This is super scary! What is this?! [15:13] Kaz     Aqua! Save m— [15:22] Kaz     Don't scare me like that, Megumin! [15:23] Kaz     I nearly wet myself. [15:25] Megu     I'm the one who should be saying that! [15:27] Megu     Why did you come barging into this room? [15:30] Megu     I thought Aqua was coming back. [15:33] Kaz     I could ask you the same.     Why are you in Aqua's room? [15:36] Megu     Well, there were dolls moving     around all over the place... [15:40] Megu     So, um, I was going to have Aqua protect me... [15:46] Megu     and thought we could go     to the bathroom together. [15:50] Kaz     You, too? [15:52] Kaz     Aqua's probably still out exorcising     spirits in the mansion, isn't she? [15:56] Megu     Is she? I'm sure Darkness is with her, then. [16:01] Kaz     Yeah, despite how she is, she's a crusader. [16:06] Kaz     Hey, Megumin, [16:08] Kaz     look over there and cover     your ears for a minute. [16:11] Kaz     I'm going to borrow your veranda for a— [16:14] Kaz     Hey, what are you doing? [16:15] Kaz     Let go. [16:16] Kaz     If you don't, my pants and the carpet in     this room are going to be in big trouble. [16:20] Megu     I won't let you. [16:22] Megu     How can you try to relieve yourself alone? [16:25] Megu     Aren't we allies? [16:27] Megu     Wherever we go, bathroom or otherwise, [16:30] Megu     we go together! [16:33] Kaz     Let go! [16:34] Kaz     Don't emphasize our bond as     allies only at times like these! [16:36] Kaz     Didn't you say crimson demons     don't use the bathroom?! [16:39] Kaz     If you want, there's an empty     bottle lying over there! [16:42] Megu     You just blurted out something outrageous! [16:43] Kaz     Now, do it! Give it a try! Go pee! [16:45] Megu     What are you suggesting I     do with that empty bottle?! [16:47] Megu     I won't let you! [16:49] Megu     I can at least shake you from behind [16:51] Megu     while you're taking of your business— [17:06] Megu     KONOSUBA! [17:14] Megu     Kazuma, are you there? [17:15] Kaz     I'm here. [17:17] Megu     Are you really there? [17:19] Kaz     I am here! [17:20] Megu     You're really, really there for me, right? [17:23] Kaz     I'm here! [17:24] Kaz     I'm right here, and I won't     leave you, so hurry up and go! [17:28] Megu     Um, this is a little embarrassing, [17:31] Megu     so could you sing a song or     something in a loud voice? [17:34] Kaz     Why do I have to sing in the middle     of the night, in front of a bathroom?! [17:44] Kaz     Hey, Megumin, hurry up! [17:45] Megu     Please don't rush me like that! [17:48] Megu     I know you're in a tough spot, too! [17:50] Kaz     It's true that both our     bladders are in a tough spot, [17:52] Kaz     but we've got a bigger problem closing in! [17:54] Megu     I can't go if you rush me like that! [17:59] Kaz     It's no good! [17:59] Kaz     I can't wait any longer! [18:06] Kaz     Hurry! [18:10] Megu     How can anyone have so     little common sense?! [18:12] Kaz     You at least got halfway through, so you're fine! [18:15] Megu     What are you talking about? [18:16] Megu     Crimson demons don't use the bathroom. [18:19] Kaz     You're saying that now?! [18:20] Kaz     I'm already at my limit here! [18:23] Megu     I thought that might happen, so I brought this. [18:26] Megu     Please use it. [18:27] Kaz     No, thanks! [18:37] Kaz     I can't hold it anymore. [18:39] Kaz     At this point, I'd sooner use the vase... [18:41] Megu     Darkness blacker than black     and darker than dark, [18:45] Megu     I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. [18:47] Kaz     What are you chanting? [18:49] Kaz     You want to blow away this     mansion along with them?! [18:56] Kaz     Damn... We'll just have to go for it! [18:58] Kaz     Megumin, once I open the door, run! [19:00] Kaz     I'll use the Drain Touch skill I just learned [19:02] Kaz     and absorb the magic of as many dolls as I can! [19:06] Kaz     Bring it on, you evil spirits! [19:10] Kaz     I'll sic our mad-dog goddess     on you all later, damn it! [19:19] Dark     H-Hey, Aqua, are you all right? [19:22] Dark     KONOSUBA! [19:23] 3     Yay! Yay! [19:25] Luna     Since you exorcised the evil spirits, [19:27] Luna     you get a special reward. [19:29] Luna     This was posted as a kill quest, [19:32] Luna     but even the guild was bothered [19:34] Luna     by how new evil spirits settled in,     no matter how many were exorcised. [19:37] Kaz     So I hear. [19:39] Kaz     Why did so many evil spirits gather there? [19:41] Luna     About that... [19:43] Luna     There's a community graveyard     near that mansion, correct? [19:47] Aqua     A community graveyard? [19:49] Kaz     The place where we first met Wiz? [19:52] Luna     Someone apparently erected a massive     barrier as a prank or something. [19:56] Luna     So the spirits had nowhere to go [19:58] Luna     and settled in that vacant mansion instead. [20:02] Kaz     Excuse us for a moment. [20:07] Kaz     Hey. You know what's going     on, don't you? Spill it. [20:11] Aqua     Yes. [20:12] Aqua     You remember how we undertook exorcising     the graveyard in Wiz's stead before? [20:15] Kaz     Uh-huh. [20:16] Aqua     But constantly going all the way     to the graveyard was a huge pain. [20:19] Kaz     Uh-huh. [20:19] Aqua     So I figured if I took away their graveyard, [20:22] Aqua     the spirits' home, they would     eventually disperse and leave. [20:26] Aqua     So... I... did. [20:29] Kaz     Talk about stirring up trouble     and taking the credit! [20:31] Kaz     This is obviously wrong. [20:34] Kaz     We won't accept the special     reward from the guild. [20:37] Kaz     Got it? [20:39] Aqua     Yes. [20:40] Both     KONOSUBA! [20:44] Kaz     I thought for sure it was     all Aqua's wild delusions. [20:47] Kaz     Who would've thought it was all true? [20:50] Wiz     Kazuma-san. [20:51] Wiz     Hello. Are you cleaning the gravestone? [20:54] Wiz     Isn't it great that you've     been allowed to live here? [20:58] Kaz     It's a life-saver that the landlord     here is such a nice person. [21:01] Kaz     We caused you a lot of trouble, too, Wiz. [21:03] Wiz     No, no. I personally think     this was for the best. [21:08] Wiz     I'm sure she won't be lonely anymore. [21:13] Kaz     I'm sure. [21:14] Kaz     I'm begging you, please don't     cause any more mischief. [21:17] Wiz     Well, I need to tend to the shop,     so I'll be heading back for the day. [21:21] Wiz     Say hello to the others for me. [21:23] Kaz     Yeah, thanks for coming. [21:30] Aqua     Kazuma! Dinner's ready, so hurry back! [21:34] Aqua     If you don't, your long-awaited     lunch will get cold! [21:38] Kaz     With this, I finally obtained [21:40] Kaz     the down-to-earth lifestyle I most desired. [21:44] Kaz     Got it. I'm on my way! [21:47] Dark     Aqua, we're out of wood for the fireplace. [21:50] Aqua     Oh, then toss Kazuma's tracksuit     over there onto the fire! [21:53] Kaz     Don't! [21:55] Kaz     I told you, don't try to     burn my precious memories! SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 15 A knight must never lose their composure over trivial matters. Having a monster cast its black magic upon you, or being manipulated by obscene mental attacks and exposing your follies to your allies, are disgraceful acts. Also, in the unlikely event you feel sexually stimulated by such a situation, you must never behave as such. Knight or not, it is the lowest of interests you can have as a human being. SIGN    Episode 9 SIGN    God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop! [23:30] Dark     A knight must never lose their     composure over trivial matters. [23:34] Dark     No matter how absurd the situation,     they must never give in. [23:37] Dark     Even when faced with obscene mental attacks— E9 - God's Blessing On This Wonderful Shop! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:10] Megu     Darkness! That's not fair! [00:16] Megu     All right, then... Very well, very well. [00:19] Megu     Go ahead and do as you please. [00:20] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma. [00:21] Aqua     Relinquish that spot to me,     the exalted Aqua-sama. [00:25] Kaz     Huh? [00:26] Aqua     I'm level 21, [00:28] Aqua     the highest level in the party. [00:31] Aqua     You're being awfully impertinent     for an under-leveled lowbie. [00:34] Aqua     If you get that, then give the spot     nearest the fireplace to your superior. [00:40] Kaz     Huh? [00:41] Kaz     I don't think your stats have risen     at all since I first saw them. [00:46] Aqua     Kazuma, you fool. [00:47] Aqua     My stats were obviously maxed     out from the very start! [00:51] Aqua     You're mistaken to lump me together     with ordinary adventurers. [00:55] Megu     Looks like my only choice now is     to whip out my deadly teleport. [00:58] Dark     H-Hey, Megumin! That's not fair. [01:01] Megu     Those are the rules. [01:02] Dark     Huh? [01:03] Megu     Destroyer, explosion! [01:05] Aqua     Oh, what's this? [01:07] Aqua     You're being very obedient. [01:11] Kaz     That explains why [01:12] Kaz     her intelligence doesn't improve,     no matter how much she levels up. [01:17] Aqua     Hey, wait. [01:18] Aqua     Why are you crying? [01:20] Aqua     What's with that look in your eyes,     like you're staring at someone pitiful? [01:24] Kaz     Goodnight. [01:25] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma! [01:27] Kaz     We acquired a mansion. [01:29] Kaz     We resolved the matter of making it through     winter, which had been our top concern. [01:34] Kaz     But we still have lots of     problems left to solve... [01:37] Aqua     Sheesh! What's your problem?! [01:57] Kaz     Hey, what're you guys doing here? [02:01] Keith     Oh, it's you, Kazuma?     Don't scare me like that. [02:05] Kaz     These guys are Keith and Dust,     two adventurers I got to know recently. [02:09] Kaz     You're way too jumpy. [02:11] Kaz     Anyway, is there something down this way? [02:17] Dust     This is a secret only for male adventurers. [02:21] Kaz     Okay... [02:21] Dust     Have you heard of a shop     covertly run by succubi [02:24] Dust     that lets you have nice dreams? [02:29] Kaz     Fill me in. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 9 SIGN    "God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!" [04:18] Kaz     I don't think I could have come into     a place like this on my own. [04:23] Suc     Welcome! [04:25] Suc     Please come this way. [04:26] Kaz     Uh, sure. [04:28] C     And his companions, right this way. [04:30] Keith     Y-Yes! [04:31] Dust     Okay... [04:34] Suc     Please wait just a moment. [04:45] Kaz     You're... [04:48] Ruff     Welcome to Hell's door. [04:50] Ruff     Do your best, you daredevil. [04:53] Kaz     S-Sure. [04:56] Ruff     I can hardly wait. [04:58] Kaz     Occupation... Artisan Weaver? [05:01] Kaz     Huh? [05:02] Kaz     He wasn't an adventurer?! [05:04] Suc     Sir? [05:06] Suc     Sir? [05:07] Kaz     Y-Yes? [05:09] Suc     Is this your first time at our shop? [05:12] Kaz     Oh, yes. [05:13] Suc     Well, then, I will explain. [05:15] Kaz     Please do. [05:16] Suc     We succubi have established [05:17] Suc     a mutually beneficial relationship with     the male adventurers of this city. [05:21] Kaz     Yes. [05:21] Suc     Many adventurers live in stables, correct? [05:25] Kaz     Yes. [05:25] Suc     So, I believe males get pent-up in various ways. [05:29] Suc     But they are unable to do     anything about it since [05:32] Suc     there are other adventurers     sleeping all around them. [05:35] Kaz     I have nothing to feel guilty about, but... [05:38] Kaz     Yeah, there's nothing to feel guilty about! [05:41] Suc     Having said that, [05:42] Suc     if they were to try to make a move on     a female adventurer sleeping nearby, [05:45] Suc     the other adventurers would notice     instantly and beat them into submission. [05:50] Suc     Or it's possible the person     he tried to mess around with [05:53] Suc     could cut his you-know-what     off with a hidden dagger. [05:56] Kaz     Has that actually happened to anyone? [06:00] Suc     And so, [06:01] Suc     we succubi give male adventurers     dreams that bring them relief. [06:06] Suc     We do end up taking a bit of your vitality, [06:09] Suc     but we do so in moderation [06:11] Suc     to ensure it won't affect     your adventures or daily life. [06:15] Kaz     Wonderful! Beyond wonderful! [06:19] Kaz     If everyone could be in a     constant state of afterglow, [06:21] Kaz     there would be no war! [06:23] Suc     Please write your order for your desired dream [06:26] Suc     on this questionnaire sheet. [06:29] Kaz     Um, there are entries for [06:31] Kaz     the customer's condition, gender,     and appearance in the dream... [06:35] Kaz     Uh, what are these? [06:37] Suc     Those are for requests such as     "I want to be a king or hero." [06:41] Suc     We have customers who want to try     it from a female perspective, too. [06:45] Kaz     Really? [06:48] Suc     There are also those who     wish to return to boyhood [06:51] Suc     and get pushed down by     strong female adventurers. [06:57] Kaz     Are the men in this city all right? [07:01] Kaz     Oh, what about this "partner preferences"? [07:04] Kaz     How much can you actually configure? [07:06] Suc     Their personality, speech patterns, [07:08] Suc     appearance, and even how much they like you. [07:10] Suc     It can be anything or anyone, [07:12] Suc     whether they exist in real life or not. [07:14] Kaz     For real?! [07:16] Suc     For real. [07:17] Kaz     So a specific famous girl,     a girl who's close to me, [07:20] Kaz     or even a 2D waifu would be possible? [07:22] Suc     Yes, though I don't know what a "2D waifu" is. [07:27] Kaz     Would the rights to one's likeness     and so forth cause problems? [07:31] Suc     They wouldn't. It's a dream, after all. [07:34] Kaz     That's true! [07:36] Kaz     Would that mean there's no restriction     on your partner's age, either? [07:41] Kaz     Oh, not that I intend to ask for that sort of thing. [07:43] Kaz     I just... How should I put it... [07:45] Suc     There is not. [07:46] Suc     Please choose whatever you like. [07:48] Kaz     I-Is that okay? [07:51] Kaz     In terms of, you know, regulations and stuff? [07:54] Suc     It's all right. It is a dream, after all. [07:57] Kaz     That's true! [07:59] Kaz     Yeah, there's no problem if it's in a dream! [08:02] Kaz     I can't believe this! [08:03] Kaz     Succubi erotic dream     services are the greatest! [08:07] Suc     Oh, also, please be careful not to     drink too much this evening, okay? [08:10] Suc     If you sleep too soundly,     we can't show you any dreams. [08:14] Kaz     All right, understood! [08:16] All     KO-NOSUBA! [08:19] Kaz     I'm back. [08:26] Aqua     Be glad, Kazuma!     Tonight's dinner is incredible! [08:30] Aqua     It's crab! Crab! [08:32] Dark     My family sent them to     congratulate us on moving in. [08:36] Aqua     It's super high-grade marbled red crab, [08:38] Aqua     and it even came with this     amazing, top-quality liquor! [08:41] Aqua     They said it's to thank [08:42] Aqua     their daughter's party members     for always looking out for her! [08:46] Megu     I can hardly believe I'm laying     my eyes on marbled red crab! [08:49] Megu     I've never been more glad that     I joined this party than I am today. [08:53] Kaz     Is it that luxurious? [08:55] Megu     Of course! [08:56] Megu     If you told me I could eat this crab [08:58] Megu     in exchange for holding off on     using explosion magic for the day, [09:00] Megu     I would restrain myself with pleasure, [09:02] Megu     and unleash my explosion     magic after I've eaten! [09:05] Megu     That's how luxurious it is! [09:08] Kaz     Wow, that's aweso— Huh? [09:10] Kaz     What did you say at the end there? [09:27] Kaz     Gulp. [09:37] Kaz     Oh, no! [09:38] Kaz     I can't stop myself! [09:42] Kaz     Crack! [09:44] Kaz     Crack! [09:46] Kaz     Crack! [09:50] Aqua     Kazuma, Kazuma! [09:51] Aqua     Give me a little fire. [09:53] Aqua     I'll teach you a tasty way to drink this. [09:57] Kaz     Here. Tinder! [10:00] Aqua     Just place a shell filled with     crab innards here, and... [10:09] Aqua     It should be ready. [10:17] 3     Gulp. [10:19] Kaz     M-Me, too! [10:23] Kaz     This is a trap! [10:25] Kaz     That succubus lady told me, didn't she? [10:25] Dark     That's a clever idea. [10:27] Kaz     If I drink too much and sleep soundly,     I won't be able to dream! [10:27] Aqua     Isn't it? Nothing less from me! [10:30] Megu     Yeah! [10:31] Megu     Aqua, Aqua, what does it taste like? [10:31] Dark     Not going to drink? I'll go first, then. [10:34] Kaz     Calm down. I'm a man who's     capable of self-restraint. [10:35] Aqua     Let me think... If I had to say, it's like... [10:38] Kaz     A man who possesses a will of steel     and the strength to endure! [10:45] Dark     I could definitely drink this! It is good! [10:48] Kaz     Don't be tempted! I can't be tempted! [10:50] Kaz     I'm sure there'll be no stopping     me once I get a taste! [10:53] Megu     Please give me some, too! [10:54] Megu     Just for today! What can it hurt? [10:56] Dark     No. I hear your whole life goes "poof"     if you start drinking in childhood. [11:00] Aqua     Everyone drink up! I'm in a great mood now, [11:03] Aqua     so I'll show you the grand unveiling     of my new party trick! [11:06] Aqua     A trick of the fingers... [11:07] Aqua     The mobile fortress, Destroyer! [11:12] Megu     Th-The form, shape, and movements! [11:14] Megu     It's the Destroyer for sure! [11:16] Dark     To think you could mimic that movement! [11:18] Kaz     Again, what the heck is a Destroyer?! [11:21] Megu     Aqua, do it again! Do it again! [11:24] Aqua     Art isn't something you can     just show off when asked. [11:26] Aqua     It's something that presents itself     naturally when the soul commands it. [11:31] Dark     What's wrong, Kazuma? [11:33] Dark     Did the food my family     sent not suit your tastes? [11:36] Kaz     N-No! The crab is super tasty. [11:39] Kaz     It's just that I drank with some friends today     and don't think I can drink any more. [11:43] Kaz     Tomorrow. I'll have some tomorrow. [11:46] Dark     I see. [11:48] Kaz     Stop! Don't give me such a genuine smile! [11:52] Kaz     You normally blurt out nothing but [11:54] Kaz     nasty stuff that creeps me out! [11:56] Dark     At least eat lots, then. [11:59] Dark     It's my thanks for everything. [12:01] Kaz     I kind of feel guilty... [12:04] Kaz     That's right. [12:05] Kaz     I should just drink with everyone     and forget about the dream. [12:09] Kaz     Look at the faces of my allies here. [12:11] Kaz     Think about which is more important! [12:14] Kaz     Yes. There was never any need to worry     about anything in the first place. [12:22] Kaz     Well, it's a little early, [12:24] Kaz     but I'm going to turn in. [12:27] Kaz     Goodnight, everyone. [12:29] 4     KONOSUBA! [12:35] Kaz     Crap, now my heart is pounding. [12:37] Kaz     Aw, what should I do? What should I do? [12:42] Kaz     I'm so nervous, expectant,     and turned on that I can't sleep! [12:55] Kaz     I'm just having them give me a dream, [12:57] Kaz     but etiquette is important. [13:15] Kaz     The lantern flame went out? [13:22] Kaz     Hey, whoa, whoa! No, wait... [13:24] Kaz     I felt drowsy earlier and closed my eyes. [13:27] Kaz     That would mean this is... [13:31] Kaz     A dream?! [13:35] Dark     The moon really is pretty toni— [13:41] Kaz     Yo. [13:49] Dark     Wh-Wh... Wh-Wh-Wh... [13:56] Kaz     I always imagined she had a sexy body,     but this is better than I imagined. [14:03] Kaz     Maybe the succubus adjusted     her to suit my tastes. [14:06] Dark     H-Hey, Kazu— [14:10] Kaz     What's the matter, Darkness? [14:16] Kaz     Come on over here. [14:19] Kaz     You can start by washing my back. [14:21] Dark     Ah... Huh? [14:26] Kaz     What's with that reaction? [14:28] Kaz     It's kind of new. I like it. [14:30] Kaz     Still, why were you the one     to appear in my dream? [14:34] Kaz     Maybe I shouldn't have requested a     beautiful older woman with a hot body? [14:37] Dark     Wh-What are you talking about? [14:40] Kaz     Is this strange? [14:40] Dark     I, um, I mean... I have so many questions     that my brain can't quite keep up, [14:42] Kaz     What could it be? [14:44] Dark     like why you're so calm,     about washing your back, [14:47] Dark     what you mean by a "dream,"     and what this is all about... [14:50] Kaz     Whoops, playing hard-to-get wasn't     one of the settings I chose. [14:54] Kaz     Though, I did write that I wanted a shy     older woman who was inexperienced. [14:59] Kaz     I guess this works, then. [15:01] Dark     Huh? [15:01] Kaz     There's no way around you     being set to be inexperienced, [15:06] Kaz     but please hurry and wash my back. [15:07] Dark     U-Um... [15:09] Dark     Is me washing your back considered     common sense in this situation? [15:14] Kaz     Hurry! I can't stand it anymore,     in all sorts of ways! [15:17] Dark     Y-Y-You... [15:18] Dark     Do you understand what's going on right now? [15:21] Dark     If Aqua or Megumin found out about this... [15:24] Kaz     If that happens, why don't     we all just get in together? [15:28] Dark     What's wrong with you?     Seriously, what's wrong with you today?! [15:32] Kaz     Hey, you're being awfully noisy.     What time do you think it is? [15:35] Kaz     Think about how much you're     bothering the neighbors! [15:37] Kaz     One can only be so unsensible, you know. [15:39] Dark     Saying something sensible in this situation     won't do any good at this point! [15:44] Dark     Is it me? Am I the one with no common sense? [15:47] Dark     Am I the strange one?! [15:48] Kaz     Yeah, you're always strange in general. [15:52] Kaz     Oh, this is a dream, so I guess it's     no problem if you make noise. [15:55] Kaz     All right. [15:57] Kaz     Please go ahead, then. [16:09] Dark     Why is this happening? [16:11] Dark     Still, it's pathetic that my disposition [16:14] Dark     prevents me from resisting     when you order me so brazenly. [16:17] Kaz     This feels new in all sorts of ways. [16:19] Kaz     I'm the one who's usually creeped out by you, [16:22] Kaz     so it's nice seeing you shy     and embarrassed for a change. [16:25] Dark     Wh-Why, you... [16:27] Dark     You're talking and acting     like some old man today! [16:30] Dark     C-Come on, that's enough, right? [16:33] Dark     C-Can I leave now? [16:36] Kaz     Don't be foolish! [16:38] Kaz     I know I set you to be inexperienced, [16:39] Kaz     but don't you know what routinely comes next? [16:42] Kaz     Next you dry me without using a towel. [16:44] Dark     This is not right! [16:45] Dark     No matter how inexperienced     I may be, that's definitely... [16:49] Kaz     Hurry... [16:49] Dark     totally... [16:52] Dark     wrong... [16:54] Kaz     Hurry... [16:57] Kaz     Hurry! [17:04] Aqua     Intruder! Show yourself! [17:07] Aqua     Everyone, there's an intruder in the mansion! [17:09] Kaz     Huh? [17:09] Dark     Aqua's voice? [17:10] Kaz     I didn't ask to be forced to wait at this point! [17:13] Kaz     Even in my dreams, she gets in my way! [17:16] Kaz     I'm gonna go complain! [17:17] Dark     K-Kazuma? [17:20] Kaz     Hey, Aqua! [17:23] Aqua     Look, look! [17:24] Aqua     An intruder got caught in my barrier,     and now she's immobilized... [17:28] Aqua     We've got another suspicious guy here! [17:29] Kaz     Who're you calling suspicious?! [17:33] Kaz     Oh, a succubus girl? [17:36] Aqua     This succubus got caught in the barrier,     and now she's immobilized. [17:40] Aqua     I'm positive she was after you, Kazuma. [17:43] Kaz     What the heck? This is strange. Really strange. [17:46] Kaz     Wait, was that "Darkness"     I ran into in the bathroom... [17:51] Aqua     I'll do an exorcism right away. [17:53] Megu     Just be good and let us destroy you. [17:57] Aqua     Just resign yourself. [17:59] Aqua     I'm going to use an extraordinarily     powerful anti-devil— [18:02] Aqua     Huh? [18:06] Suc     Huh? [18:09] Kaz     Run away. [18:10] Suc     B-But... [18:12] Aqua     What're you doing? [18:13] Aqua     She's a devil who came here to     attack you and steal your vitality! [18:16] Megu     Are you insane, Kazuma? [18:19] Suc     Sir, it is due to my inexperience [18:22] Suc     and failure to break in that     this has come to pass. [18:25] Suc     I can't allow you to humiliate yourself. [18:28] Suc     I will accept my elimination, [18:30] Suc     so just pretend you don't know anything. [18:35] Suc     Sir? [18:36] Aqua     What's the big idea? [18:37] Aqua     There's no way a goddess like myself [18:39] Aqua     can let that devil get away. [18:42] Aqua     Kazuma, if you don't want us     to beat you into submission, [18:45] Aqua     then move aside. [18:50] Dark     Kazuma has been charmed by that     succubus and is under her control! [18:54] Dark     He's been acting weird since a little while ago! [18:57] Dark     He's been blurting out things about dreams     and settings and so forth, so I'm sure of it! [19:02] Dark     You accursed succubus, you put me     through so much humiliation... [19:05] Dark     I'll slaughter you! [19:07] Megu     Kazuma, she may be cute, but she's still a devil, [19:09] Megu     a monster. [19:11] Megu     Have you gone mad? [19:13] Kaz     Go. [19:15] Suc     But... [19:16] Aqua     It looks like I'll have to settle this     score with Kazuma right here and now. [19:21] Aqua     Once I've pulverized you, [19:23] Aqua     I'll perform that succubus's last rites. [19:31] Kaz     Fine. [19:39] Kaz     There are some things you     absolutely must protect. [19:45] Kaz     Bring it on! [19:58] Megu     The succubus ran away, huh? [20:01] Aqua     Better toss some salt. [20:03] 4     KONOSUBA! SIGN    The Next Day [20:10] Dark     Glance... [20:15] Kaz     Hey, talk to me already. [20:18] Kaz     Besides, I think you're part of the problem, [20:20] Kaz     since you got caught up in the mood, too. [20:28] Dark     You really don't remember what     happened last night, right? [20:33] Dark     You don't have any memory of it     since you were being controlled [20:37] Dark     by that succubus, right? [20:39] Kaz     Yeah, it's unfortunate, but I don't remember. [20:42] Kaz     All I know is that I had a nice dream. [20:45] Dark     I-I see. Good, then. [20:49] Dark     Yeah, there's no helping it. [20:51] Dark     It was sort of an accident. [20:53] Dark     I'll try to forget about it, too. [20:55] Kaz     Last night, I was controlled by a succubus... [21:00] Kaz     That's the story I'm going with! [21:01] Kaz     A convenient explanation fell into my lap, [21:03] Kaz     so I may as well go with it. [21:05] Dark     Still, you were kind of overbearing     at the time, and a little scary, [21:10] Dark     but it wasn't bad. [21:12] Dark     Although it was unacceptable     for you to instill in me [21:14] Dark     whatever you pleased just     because I was ignorant of it... [21:17] Kaz     Hey, it's not like you're really     some inexperienced lady. [21:21] Kaz     Brush up on your common     sense a little more. [21:23] Dark     Wha— [21:24] Kaz     Besides, what happened clearly     wasn't my fault in any way. [21:29] Kaz     I lit the lantern, and I put up the     sign saying the bath was in use. [21:33] Kaz     Who the heck pranked us like this? [21:36] Dark     H-Hey, you do remember last night, don't you? [21:40] Dark     Were those actions really caused     by a succubus controlling you?! [21:45] Dark     Hey, Kazuma! [21:49] Luna     Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert! [21:52] Luna     The mobile fortress, Destroyer,     is currently approaching this city! [21:56] Dark     What?! [21:57] Kaz     Huh? Destroyer? SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 20 A knight must never leave their allies behind and run away, no matter how mighty the enemy. As an additional warning, you must never desire physical pain, or to receive sexual satisfaction. Having such thoughts is extremely abnormal, and knight or not, it is the lowest of acts you can perform as a human being. SIGN    Episode 10 SIGN    A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress! [23:30] Dark     A knight must never run away,     no matter how mighty the enemy. [23:35] Dark     As an additional warning, you must never     desire physical pain, or to receive— E10 - A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:10] Megu     Darkness! That's not fair! [00:16] Megu     All right, then... Very well, very well. [00:19] Megu     Go ahead and do as you please. [00:20] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma. [00:21] Aqua     Relinquish that spot to me,     the exalted Aqua-sama. [00:25] Kaz     Huh? [00:26] Aqua     I'm level 21, [00:28] Aqua     the highest level in the party. [00:31] Aqua     You're being awfully impertinent     for an under-leveled lowbie. [00:34] Aqua     If you get that, then give the spot     nearest the fireplace to your superior. [00:40] Kaz     Huh? [00:41] Kaz     I don't think your stats have risen     at all since I first saw them. [00:46] Aqua     Kazuma, you fool. [00:47] Aqua     My stats were obviously maxed     out from the very start! [00:51] Aqua     You're mistaken to lump me together     with ordinary adventurers. [00:55] Megu     Looks like my only choice now is     to whip out my deadly teleport. [00:58] Dark     H-Hey, Megumin! That's not fair. [01:01] Megu     Those are the rules. [01:02] Dark     Huh? [01:03] Megu     Destroyer, explosion! [01:05] Aqua     Oh, what's this? [01:07] Aqua     You're being very obedient. [01:11] Kaz     That explains why [01:12] Kaz     her intelligence doesn't improve,     no matter how much she levels up. [01:17] Aqua     Hey, wait. [01:18] Aqua     Why are you crying? [01:20] Aqua     What's with that look in your eyes,     like you're staring at someone pitiful? [01:24] Kaz     Goodnight. [01:25] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma! [01:27] Kaz     We acquired a mansion. [01:29] Kaz     We resolved the matter of making it through     winter, which had been our top concern. [01:34] Kaz     But we still have lots of     problems left to solve... [01:37] Aqua     Sheesh! What's your problem?! [01:57] Kaz     Hey, what're you guys doing here? [02:01] Keith     Oh, it's you, Kazuma?     Don't scare me like that. [02:05] Kaz     These guys are Keith and Dust,     two adventurers I got to know recently. [02:09] Kaz     You're way too jumpy. [02:11] Kaz     Anyway, is there something down this way? [02:17] Dust     This is a secret only for male adventurers. [02:21] Kaz     Okay... [02:21] Dust     Have you heard of a shop     covertly run by succubi [02:24] Dust     that lets you have nice dreams? [02:29] Kaz     Fill me in. SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    KONOSUBA     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 9 SIGN    "God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!" [04:18] Kaz     I don't think I could have come into     a place like this on my own. [04:23] Suc     Welcome! [04:25] Suc     Please come this way. [04:26] Kaz     Uh, sure. [04:28] C     And his companions, right this way. [04:30] Keith     Y-Yes! [04:31] Dust     Okay... [04:34] Suc     Please wait just a moment. [04:45] Kaz     You're... [04:48] Ruff     Welcome to Hell's door. [04:50] Ruff     Do your best, you daredevil. [04:53] Kaz     S-Sure. [04:56] Ruff     I can hardly wait. [04:58] Kaz     Occupation... Artisan Weaver? [05:01] Kaz     Huh? [05:02] Kaz     He wasn't an adventurer?! [05:04] Suc     Sir? [05:06] Suc     Sir? [05:07] Kaz     Y-Yes? [05:09] Suc     Is this your first time at our shop? [05:12] Kaz     Oh, yes. [05:13] Suc     Well, then, I will explain. [05:15] Kaz     Please do. [05:16] Suc     We succubi have established [05:17] Suc     a mutually beneficial relationship with     the male adventurers of this city. [05:21] Kaz     Yes. [05:21] Suc     Many adventurers live in stables, correct? [05:25] Kaz     Yes. [05:25] Suc     So, I believe males get pent-up in various ways. [05:29] Suc     But they are unable to do     anything about it since [05:32] Suc     there are other adventurers     sleeping all around them. [05:35] Kaz     I have nothing to feel guilty about, but... [05:38] Kaz     Yeah, there's nothing to feel guilty about! [05:41] Suc     Having said that, [05:42] Suc     if they were to try to make a move on     a female adventurer sleeping nearby, [05:45] Suc     the other adventurers would notice     instantly and beat them into submission. [05:50] Suc     Or it's possible the person     he tried to mess around with [05:53] Suc     could cut his you-know-what     off with a hidden dagger. [05:56] Kaz     Has that actually happened to anyone? [06:00] Suc     And so, [06:01] Suc     we succubi give male adventurers     dreams that bring them relief. [06:06] Suc     We do end up taking a bit of your vitality, [06:09] Suc     but we do so in moderation [06:11] Suc     to ensure it won't affect     your adventures or daily life. [06:15] Kaz     Wonderful! Beyond wonderful! [06:19] Kaz     If everyone could be in a     constant state of afterglow, [06:21] Kaz     there would be no war! [06:23] Suc     Please write your order for your desired dream [06:26] Suc     on this questionnaire sheet. [06:29] Kaz     Um, there are entries for [06:31] Kaz     the customer's condition, gender,     and appearance in the dream... [06:35] Kaz     Uh, what are these? [06:37] Suc     Those are for requests such as     "I want to be a king or hero." [06:41] Suc     We have customers who want to try     it from a female perspective, too. [06:45] Kaz     Really? [06:48] Suc     There are also those who     wish to return to boyhood [06:51] Suc     and get pushed down by     strong female adventurers. [06:57] Kaz     Are the men in this city all right? [07:01] Kaz     Oh, what about this "partner preferences"? [07:04] Kaz     How much can you actually configure? [07:06] Suc     Their personality, speech patterns, [07:08] Suc     appearance, and even how much they like you. [07:10] Suc     It can be anything or anyone, [07:12] Suc     whether they exist in real life or not. [07:14] Kaz     For real?! [07:16] Suc     For real. [07:17] Kaz     So a specific famous girl,     a girl who's close to me, [07:20] Kaz     or even a 2D waifu would be possible? [07:22] Suc     Yes, though I don't know what a "2D waifu" is. [07:27] Kaz     Would the rights to one's likeness     and so forth cause problems? [07:31] Suc     They wouldn't. It's a dream, after all. [07:34] Kaz     That's true! [07:36] Kaz     Would that mean there's no restriction     on your partner's age, either? [07:41] Kaz     Oh, not that I intend to ask for that sort of thing. [07:43] Kaz     I just... How should I put it... [07:45] Suc     There is not. [07:46] Suc     Please choose whatever you like. [07:48] Kaz     I-Is that okay? [07:51] Kaz     In terms of, you know, regulations and stuff? [07:54] Suc     It's all right. It is a dream, after all. [07:57] Kaz     That's true! [07:59] Kaz     Yeah, there's no problem if it's in a dream! [08:02] Kaz     I can't believe this! [08:03] Kaz     Succubi erotic dream     services are the greatest! [08:07] Suc     Oh, also, please be careful not to     drink too much this evening, okay? [08:10] Suc     If you sleep too soundly,     we can't show you any dreams. [08:14] Kaz     All right, understood! [08:16] All     KO-NOSUBA! [08:19] Kaz     I'm back. [08:26] Aqua     Be glad, Kazuma!     Tonight's dinner is incredible! [08:30] Aqua     It's crab! Crab! [08:32] Dark     My family sent them to     congratulate us on moving in. [08:36] Aqua     It's super high-grade marbled red crab, [08:38] Aqua     and it even came with this     amazing, top-quality liquor! [08:41] Aqua     They said it's to thank [08:42] Aqua     their daughter's party members     for always looking out for her! [08:46] Megu     I can hardly believe I'm laying     my eyes on marbled red crab! [08:49] Megu     I've never been more glad that     I joined this party than I am today. [08:53] Kaz     Is it that luxurious? [08:55] Megu     Of course! [08:56] Megu     If you told me I could eat this crab [08:58] Megu     in exchange for holding off on     using explosion magic for the day, [09:00] Megu     I would restrain myself with pleasure, [09:02] Megu     and unleash my explosion     magic after I've eaten! [09:05] Megu     That's how luxurious it is! [09:08] Kaz     Wow, that's aweso— Huh? [09:10] Kaz     What did you say at the end there? [09:27] Kaz     Gulp. [09:37] Kaz     Oh, no! [09:38] Kaz     I can't stop myself! [09:42] Kaz     Crack! [09:44] Kaz     Crack! [09:46] Kaz     Crack! [09:50] Aqua     Kazuma, Kazuma! [09:51] Aqua     Give me a little fire. [09:53] Aqua     I'll teach you a tasty way to drink this. [09:57] Kaz     Here. Tinder! [10:00] Aqua     Just place a shell filled with     crab innards here, and... [10:09] Aqua     It should be ready. [10:17] 3     Gulp. [10:19] Kaz     M-Me, too! [10:23] Kaz     This is a trap! [10:25] Kaz     That succubus lady told me, didn't she? [10:25] Dark     That's a clever idea. [10:27] Kaz     If I drink too much and sleep soundly,     I won't be able to dream! [10:27] Aqua     Isn't it? Nothing less from me! [10:30] Megu     Yeah! [10:31] Megu     Aqua, Aqua, what does it taste like? [10:31] Dark     Not going to drink? I'll go first, then. [10:34] Kaz     Calm down. I'm a man who's     capable of self-restraint. [10:35] Aqua     Let me think... If I had to say, it's like... [10:38] Kaz     A man who possesses a will of steel     and the strength to endure! [10:45] Dark     I could definitely drink this! It is good! [10:48] Kaz     Don't be tempted! I can't be tempted! [10:50] Kaz     I'm sure there'll be no stopping     me once I get a taste! [10:53] Megu     Please give me some, too! [10:54] Megu     Just for today! What can it hurt? [10:56] Dark     No. I hear your whole life goes "poof"     if you start drinking in childhood. [11:00] Aqua     Everyone drink up! I'm in a great mood now, [11:03] Aqua     so I'll show you the grand unveiling     of my new party trick! [11:06] Aqua     A trick of the fingers... [11:07] Aqua     The mobile fortress, Destroyer! [11:12] Megu     Th-The form, shape, and movements! [11:14] Megu     It's the Destroyer for sure! [11:16] Dark     To think you could mimic that movement! [11:18] Kaz     Again, what the heck is a Destroyer?! [11:21] Megu     Aqua, do it again! Do it again! [11:24] Aqua     Art isn't something you can     just show off when asked. [11:26] Aqua     It's something that presents itself     naturally when the soul commands it. [11:31] Dark     What's wrong, Kazuma? [11:33] Dark     Did the food my family     sent not suit your tastes? [11:36] Kaz     N-No! The crab is super tasty. [11:39] Kaz     It's just that I drank with some friends today     and don't think I can drink any more. [11:43] Kaz     Tomorrow. I'll have some tomorrow. [11:46] Dark     I see. [11:48] Kaz     Stop! Don't give me such a genuine smile! [11:52] Kaz     You normally blurt out nothing but [11:54] Kaz     nasty stuff that creeps me out! [11:56] Dark     At least eat lots, then. [11:59] Dark     It's my thanks for everything. [12:01] Kaz     I kind of feel guilty... [12:04] Kaz     That's right. [12:05] Kaz     I should just drink with everyone     and forget about the dream. [12:09] Kaz     Look at the faces of my allies here. [12:11] Kaz     Think about which is more important! [12:14] Kaz     Yes. There was never any need to worry     about anything in the first place. [12:22] Kaz     Well, it's a little early, [12:24] Kaz     but I'm going to turn in. [12:27] Kaz     Goodnight, everyone. [12:29] 4     KONOSUBA! [12:35] Kaz     Crap, now my heart is pounding. [12:37] Kaz     Aw, what should I do? What should I do? [12:42] Kaz     I'm so nervous, expectant,     and turned on that I can't sleep! [12:55] Kaz     I'm just having them give me a dream, [12:57] Kaz     but etiquette is important. [13:15] Kaz     The lantern flame went out? [13:22] Kaz     Hey, whoa, whoa! No, wait... [13:24] Kaz     I felt drowsy earlier and closed my eyes. [13:27] Kaz     That would mean this is... [13:31] Kaz     A dream?! [13:35] Dark     The moon really is pretty toni— [13:41] Kaz     Yo. [13:49] Dark     Wh-Wh... Wh-Wh-Wh... [13:56] Kaz     I always imagined she had a sexy body,     but this is better than I imagined. [14:03] Kaz     Maybe the succubus adjusted     her to suit my tastes. [14:06] Dark     H-Hey, Kazu— [14:10] Kaz     What's the matter, Darkness? [14:16] Kaz     Come on over here. [14:19] Kaz     You can start by washing my back. [14:21] Dark     Ah... Huh? [14:26] Kaz     What's with that reaction? [14:28] Kaz     It's kind of new. I like it. [14:30] Kaz     Still, why were you the one     to appear in my dream? [14:34] Kaz     Maybe I shouldn't have requested a     beautiful older woman with a hot body? [14:37] Dark     Wh-What are you talking about? [14:40] Kaz     Is this strange? [14:40] Dark     I, um, I mean... I have so many questions     that my brain can't quite keep up, [14:42] Kaz     What could it be? [14:44] Dark     like why you're so calm,     about washing your back, [14:47] Dark     what you mean by a "dream,"     and what this is all about... [14:50] Kaz     Whoops, playing hard-to-get wasn't     one of the settings I chose. [14:54] Kaz     Though, I did write that I wanted a shy     older woman who was inexperienced. [14:59] Kaz     I guess this works, then. [15:01] Dark     Huh? [15:01] Kaz     There's no way around you     being set to be inexperienced, [15:06] Kaz     but please hurry and wash my back. [15:07] Dark     U-Um... [15:09] Dark     Is me washing your back considered     common sense in this situation? [15:14] Kaz     Hurry! I can't stand it anymore,     in all sorts of ways! [15:17] Dark     Y-Y-You... [15:18] Dark     Do you understand what's going on right now? [15:21] Dark     If Aqua or Megumin found out about this... [15:24] Kaz     If that happens, why don't     we all just get in together? [15:28] Dark     What's wrong with you?     Seriously, what's wrong with you today?! [15:32] Kaz     Hey, you're being awfully noisy.     What time do you think it is? [15:35] Kaz     Think about how much you're     bothering the neighbors! [15:37] Kaz     One can only be so unsensible, you know. [15:39] Dark     Saying something sensible in this situation     won't do any good at this point! [15:44] Dark     Is it me? Am I the one with no common sense? [15:47] Dark     Am I the strange one?! [15:48] Kaz     Yeah, you're always strange in general. [15:52] Kaz     Oh, this is a dream, so I guess it's     no problem if you make noise. [15:55] Kaz     All right. [15:57] Kaz     Please go ahead, then. [16:09] Dark     Why is this happening? [16:11] Dark     Still, it's pathetic that my disposition [16:14] Dark     prevents me from resisting     when you order me so brazenly. [16:17] Kaz     This feels new in all sorts of ways. [16:19] Kaz     I'm the one who's usually creeped out by you, [16:22] Kaz     so it's nice seeing you shy     and embarrassed for a change. [16:25] Dark     Wh-Why, you... [16:27] Dark     You're talking and acting     like some old man today! [16:30] Dark     C-Come on, that's enough, right? [16:33] Dark     C-Can I leave now? [16:36] Kaz     Don't be foolish! [16:38] Kaz     I know I set you to be inexperienced, [16:39] Kaz     but don't you know what routinely comes next? [16:42] Kaz     Next you dry me without using a towel. [16:44] Dark     This is not right! [16:45] Dark     No matter how inexperienced     I may be, that's definitely... [16:49] Kaz     Hurry... [16:49] Dark     totally... [16:52] Dark     wrong... [16:54] Kaz     Hurry... [16:57] Kaz     Hurry! [17:04] Aqua     Intruder! Show yourself! [17:07] Aqua     Everyone, there's an intruder in the mansion! [17:09] Kaz     Huh? [17:09] Dark     Aqua's voice? [17:10] Kaz     I didn't ask to be forced to wait at this point! [17:13] Kaz     Even in my dreams, she gets in my way! [17:16] Kaz     I'm gonna go complain! [17:17] Dark     K-Kazuma? [17:20] Kaz     Hey, Aqua! [17:23] Aqua     Look, look! [17:24] Aqua     An intruder got caught in my barrier,     and now she's immobilized... [17:28] Aqua     We've got another suspicious guy here! [17:29] Kaz     Who're you calling suspicious?! [17:33] Kaz     Oh, a succubus girl? [17:36] Aqua     This succubus got caught in the barrier,     and now she's immobilized. [17:40] Aqua     I'm positive she was after you, Kazuma. [17:43] Kaz     What the heck? This is strange. Really strange. [17:46] Kaz     Wait, was that "Darkness"     I ran into in the bathroom... [17:51] Aqua     I'll do an exorcism right away. [17:53] Megu     Just be good and let us destroy you. [17:57] Aqua     Just resign yourself. [17:59] Aqua     I'm going to use an extraordinarily     powerful anti-devil— [18:02] Aqua     Huh? [18:06] Suc     Huh? [18:09] Kaz     Run away. [18:10] Suc     B-But... [18:12] Aqua     What're you doing? [18:13] Aqua     She's a devil who came here to     attack you and steal your vitality! [18:16] Megu     Are you insane, Kazuma? [18:19] Suc     Sir, it is due to my inexperience [18:22] Suc     and failure to break in that     this has come to pass. [18:25] Suc     I can't allow you to humiliate yourself. [18:28] Suc     I will accept my elimination, [18:30] Suc     so just pretend you don't know anything. [18:35] Suc     Sir? [18:36] Aqua     What's the big idea? [18:37] Aqua     There's no way a goddess like myself [18:39] Aqua     can let that devil get away. [18:42] Aqua     Kazuma, if you don't want us     to beat you into submission, [18:45] Aqua     then move aside. [18:50] Dark     Kazuma has been charmed by that     succubus and is under her control! [18:54] Dark     He's been acting weird since a little while ago! [18:57] Dark     He's been blurting out things about dreams     and settings and so forth, so I'm sure of it! [19:02] Dark     You accursed succubus, you put me     through so much humiliation... [19:05] Dark     I'll slaughter you! [19:07] Megu     Kazuma, she may be cute, but she's still a devil, [19:09] Megu     a monster. [19:11] Megu     Have you gone mad? [19:13] Kaz     Go. [19:15] Suc     But... [19:16] Aqua     It looks like I'll have to settle this     score with Kazuma right here and now. [19:21] Aqua     Once I've pulverized you, [19:23] Aqua     I'll perform that succubus's last rites. [19:31] Kaz     Fine. [19:39] Kaz     There are some things you     absolutely must protect. [19:45] Kaz     Bring it on! [19:58] Megu     The succubus ran away, huh? [20:01] Aqua     Better toss some salt. [20:03] 4     KONOSUBA! SIGN    The Next Day [20:10] Dark     Glance... [20:15] Kaz     Hey, talk to me already. [20:18] Kaz     Besides, I think you're part of the problem, [20:20] Kaz     since you got caught up in the mood, too. [20:28] Dark     You really don't remember what     happened last night, right? [20:33] Dark     You don't have any memory of it     since you were being controlled [20:37] Dark     by that succubus, right? [20:39] Kaz     Yeah, it's unfortunate, but I don't remember. [20:42] Kaz     All I know is that I had a nice dream. [20:45] Dark     I-I see. Good, then. [20:49] Dark     Yeah, there's no helping it. [20:51] Dark     It was sort of an accident. [20:53] Dark     I'll try to forget about it, too. [20:55] Kaz     Last night, I was controlled by a succubus... [21:00] Kaz     That's the story I'm going with! [21:01] Kaz     A convenient explanation fell into my lap, [21:03] Kaz     so I may as well go with it. [21:05] Dark     Still, you were kind of overbearing     at the time, and a little scary, [21:10] Dark     but it wasn't bad. [21:12] Dark     Although it was unacceptable     for you to instill in me [21:14] Dark     whatever you pleased just     because I was ignorant of it... [21:17] Kaz     Hey, it's not like you're really     some inexperienced lady. [21:21] Kaz     Brush up on your common     sense a little more. [21:23] Dark     Wha— [21:24] Kaz     Besides, what happened clearly     wasn't my fault in any way. [21:29] Kaz     I lit the lantern, and I put up the     sign saying the bath was in use. [21:33] Kaz     Who the heck pranked us like this? [21:36] Dark     H-Hey, you do remember last night, don't you? [21:40] Dark     Were those actions really caused     by a succubus controlling you?! [21:45] Dark     Hey, Kazuma! [21:49] Luna     Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert! [21:52] Luna     The mobile fortress, Destroyer,     is currently approaching this city! [21:56] Dark     What?! [21:57] Kaz     Huh? Destroyer? SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 20 A knight must never leave their allies behind and run away, no matter how mighty the enemy. As an additional warning, you must never desire physical pain, or to receive sexual satisfaction. Having such thoughts is extremely abnormal, and knight or not, it is the lowest of acts you can perform as a human being. SIGN    Episode 10 SIGN    A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress! [23:30] Dark     A knight must never run away,     no matter how mighty the enemy. [23:35] Dark     As an additional warning, you must never     desire physical pain, or to receive— OVA1 - God's Blessings on This Wonderful Choker! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:02] Kids     My turn! [00:04] K     Hey, Wiz. We came to visit. [00:07] W     Kazuma-san! You're all here! [00:10] W     Welcome to the store. [00:12] D     Pardon the intrusion. [00:13] A     Why did we have to come     to some undead's shop? [00:23] YY     Y-You just saw me, didn't you?!     Why are you ignoring me? [00:29] M     Well, if it isn't my     self-proclaimed rival, Yunyun. [00:32] YY     Don't say it's self-proclaimed! [00:34] M     Oh? Is that wrong? [00:36] YY     I-It is! I really am your rival! [00:40] K     This is a Crimson Demon girl     we've recently gotten to know. [00:44] K     She calls herself Megumin's rival, [00:46] K     and challenges her every time     they run into each other, but... [00:49] YY     Now, Megumin, [00:50] YY     it's a complete and total coincidence     that we met here, but no matter! [00:55] YY     Today we're settling this! SIGN    Episode 11 SIGN    "God's Blessings On This Wonderful Choker!" [02:28] YY     Come on! Come on! [02:32] M     Settle what, exactly? [02:34] M     I've won nearly every contest     you've challenged me to. [02:37] YY     Sh-Shut up, you! [02:40] YY     Sorry... [02:41] YY     We'll do this outside so we won't     cause trouble in your store. [02:45] W     Oh, it's okay. [02:46] W     I know that the reason     you started shopping here [02:49] W     was because you heard that Megumin-san     and her friends come by sometimes. [02:55] YY     E-Excuse me! [02:56] YY     I'd like to buy this today!     What a cool-looking choker! [03:00] K     Wait, has she been coming here all     the time hoping to run into Megumin? [03:05] D     Look, Yunyun... I mean... [03:08] D     You can always just visit     our mansion, all right? [03:11] YY     What? R-Really? [03:14] YY     But if I show up with snacks and drinks,     you won't look at me like, [03:18] YY     "Wow, you actually came? Can't you     tell when someone is just being nice?" [03:21] YY     and act really annoyed, will you? [03:23] M     You are as irritating as ever! [03:26] M     If you want to come by, just do it whenever! [03:30] M     So, what are we going to do?     Aren't we having a contest? [03:33] YY     Hang on, Megumin! [03:36] YY     I don't get to talk to this     many people very often. [03:40] YY     Can the contest wait     until this evening, maybe? [03:43] M     You can never make up your mind, can you? [03:46] M     That's the problem with you loner types! [03:47] A     Hey, can I get some tea over here? [03:50] A     And something to eat, while you're at it. [03:52] W     Right, Aqua-sama!     I'll grab something right away! [03:58] D     Are you okay?! [04:00] W     Sorry! I'm all right! [04:02] A     Hey, we're losing daylight here! [04:05] K     This bunch is always so noisy... [04:08] W     Are you okay? [04:09] K     I could really go for some comfort. [04:13] K     What's this? [04:16] K     "An uncharacteristically popular     item sold at our shop." [04:20] K     "A choker that can grant wishes." [04:22] K     I'm not sure a shop should say an item's     popularity is "uncharacteristic"... [04:26] K     And the price is a relatively     steep 100,000 eris. [04:29] M     What are these?!     What are these boobs of yours?! [04:32] M     Have they grown again?! [04:33] M     Are you showing them off?! [04:35] YY     Cut it out! Don't get mad at me     just because yours won't grow! [04:35] ---     Damn you! [04:38] M     They're so bouncy! [04:39] A     Uh, excuse me. This tea is barely warm. [04:42] A     This is the problem with you undead     and your low body temperatures... [04:45] W     I'm so sorry, Aqua-sama! [04:47] D     What is this "potion that attracts beasts"? [04:50] D     F-For instance, would it make     men who are beastlike [04:52] D     in certain ways find you more attractive? [04:55] W     It's a potion that attracts     beast-type monsters. [04:58] W     It makes monsters attack you one after     another, without a moment's rest. [05:02] D     I'll take it! [05:03] W     Huh? Are you sure? [05:06] W     You really won't have a moment's rest... [05:07] K     So it's an item that increases     your luck when equipped? [05:14] D     K-Kazuma-san! [05:16] D     Th-Th-That's... [05:18] K     Oh, the wish-granting choker? [05:21] K     Should I not have tried it on? [05:24] W     Th-That's a magic item that stays     on until your wish comes true, [05:27] W     and it tightens every day     that wish isn't granted! [05:30] K     You mean it's cursed?! [05:32] W     No, it's not! It's really popular with women! [05:35] W     It helps them get really, really     motivated to lose weight... [05:40] K     You have to grant your wish yourself?     Is this some kind of joke?! [05:44] A     So what did you wish for anyway, Kazuma? [05:47] K     Well, I didn't even wish for     anything in particular. [05:51] W     That's bad, Kazuma-san! [05:53] W     If we don't do something, the choker will     gradually tighten, and in four days... [05:56] K     You're saying I'm gonna die because     of some stupid dieting gimmick?! [06:00] YY     It's my fault. [06:01] YY     Kazuma-san picked up that choker     because I dropped it, and now he's... [06:06] M     It's my fault for yelling at you, too, Yunyun. [06:09] D     No, if Wiz hadn't been     distracted by Aqua and me... [06:13] D     I'm sorry, Kazuma. [06:15] W     It's really my fault! [06:17] W     I shouldn't have left something     so dangerous on the store shelf. [06:24] W     Kazuma-san... [06:26] W     I'll do whatever it takes     to get that choker off. [06:29] W     Don't worry! [06:31] YY     I'll help, too! [06:32] M     Wh-When the Crimson Demons' greatest     sorceress prodigy gets to work, [06:35] M     removing a magic item     like that is child's play! [06:38] D     You'll have my help, as well! [06:42] A     Hey, I didn't do anything wrong! [06:44] A     But just for the record... [06:46] A     Sorry! If you die, I'll be sure     to cast Resurrection on you. [06:52] K     Maybe I won't come back     to life next time I die. [06:55] K     I'll go on strike from living. [06:57] A     Wh-What are you saying? [06:59] A     Don't the two of us have     to slay the Devil King? [07:02] K     Not to mention, if I die, you take sole     possession of our considerable debt. [07:07] A     Fine! [07:08] A     You just want me to help, too, right?! [07:11] A     We'll do whatever you want     until that choker comes off! [07:15] K     Did you just say "whatever you want"? [07:22] W     U-Um, Kazuma-san? [07:25] K     Kazuma here. [07:26] W     I-Is it... comfortable? [07:30] K     Your thighs are nice and cool, Wiz. [07:33] K     And very soft. [07:35] K     Plus... [07:37] K     Seeing how embarrassed     it makes you is great. [07:40] W     I-I see... [07:41] W     Well, um... th-thank you? [07:45] K     A wish-granting choker... [07:47] K     This is much better than I thought! [07:49] K     I've got four whole days     until it strangles me. [07:52] K     I'm sure it'll work out. [07:54] M     It's only his first wish, and he's already     putting his lust on full display. [07:58] D     Very well! [07:59] D     I don't know what it is you want, [08:01] D     but I can deal with anything you— [08:03] K     Ditch the armor and give me 100 push-ups. [08:15] D     One... two... [08:19] D     three... four... [08:22] D     five... six... [08:26] K     seven... [08:27] K     Now this isn't bad at all. [08:30] D     I-I'm being exposed to his     animalistic, hungry gaze [08:32] D     with no means of escape! [08:35] D     In his head, I'm surely being reduced [08:37] D     to an even more shameful state... [08:41] D     St— [08:42] D     Stop it! [08:44] D     And yet... as a knight, I must not yield! [08:49] A     Unbelievable... [08:50] A     He's going to use beautiful girls like us     to fulfill his every twisted desire! [08:57] K     Go grab me a yakisoba bun,     and make it snappy. [08:59] A     Why?! [09:02] W     Aqua-sama! [09:04] K     Now, then... [09:07] K     You two are rivals, right? [09:09] M     No, that's just Yunyun's idea. [09:11] K     The two of you are going to     have a little competition. [09:16] YY     W-Well, if you insist!     I challenge you, Megumin! [09:19] M     Why are you so happy about this? [09:22] K     I will decide the contest, [09:25] K     and the winner will be chosen     at my discretion, as I see fit. [09:33] W     Excuse me... [09:37] W     Shouldn't you be face-up when     using someone's lap as a pillow? [09:41] K     Where I was born, we do     it like this sometimes. [09:44] W     R-Really? [09:46] A     'ere you ahr! [09:47] W     Too slow! And I think you mean,     "I brought your food, sir!" [09:50] A     Fuhd, shur! [09:56] K     Hey... [09:57] K     You ate half of this, didn't you? [10:00] A     Dih noth! [10:01] K     She's got her cheeks stuffed     like a damn squirrel! [10:04] YYM     Rock, paper, scissors! [10:08] M     It is the law of this world to grant me victory. [10:17] A     What are those two doing? [10:19] K     Strip rock-paper-scissors. [10:21] A     You are shockingly straightforward     with what you want, aren't you? [10:24] A     Even I'm creeped out by that. [10:27] M     Yunyun... At this rate,     we're both going to suffer. [10:32] YY     A-As the one who'll lead the     Crimson Demons one day, [10:35] YY     I can't afford to lose to you, Megumin! [10:37] M     You decide to be stubborn now?! [10:40] A     You're not planning to have     me do that next, are you? [10:44] K     Next, go buy some expensive bubbly. [10:46] A     Why?! [10:49] W     Aqua-sama! [10:52] MYY     Rock, paper, scissors! [10:54] MYY     One more time! One more time! [10:57] MYY     Again! Again! Again! [10:59] MYY     Rock, paper, scissors! [11:03] MYY     One more time! One more time! [11:06] K     If you tie three more times,     you both have to take something off. [11:16] M     Yunyun... [11:18] M     I have faith in you. [11:20] M     You're my rival, and my friend. [11:23] M     I know you wouldn't be led     astray by what he says. [11:27] YY     Megumin... [11:28] YY     I have faith in you, too. [11:31] YY     Let's go! One more time! [11:42] M     What?! Are you just mad because you lost?! [11:45] M     Hey! Stop that! I'm going to fall out! [11:49] M     Stop it already! [11:50] W     Um, uh, Kazuma-san,     should you stop them? [11:54] K     Wiz... [11:55] K     I can't help it. [11:57] K     This is the only way to get     the choker to come off. [12:02] W     I guess you're right... [12:04] K     Thank you for being so understanding. [12:07] D     Kazuma! [12:08] D     I've finished the hundred push-ups! [12:11] D     I didn't think you'd leave me alone in there. [12:14] D     The humiliation and isolation were so— [12:16] K     Next up is 100 sit-ups. [12:21] K     KONOSUBA! [12:31] A     I've been defiled... I'm a goddess,     but I've been defiled... [12:38] W     Um... Has the choker come off yet? [12:42] K     It's terribly unfortunate, [12:44] K     but it looks like we'll have to keep making     my wishes come true tomorrow, too. [12:50] K     KO! NO! SU! BA! [12:54] K     KONOSUBA! [12:59] K     After that, I continued to grant all     the wishes I could come up with. [13:03] A     Why am I doing this? [13:07] D     More exercise today? [13:13] YY     This is embarrassing... [13:14] M     Something about this choice of     clothing seems malicious to me. [13:22] K     Oh, nice! Okay, next! [13:34] D     I just have to wash myself? [13:39] K     Yes. Nothing more. [13:41] K     And I will watch! [13:44] A     You're going to defile the goddess     again today, aren't you? [13:47] A     What are you going to make me do? [13:48] Kazuma     I want you to find us a natural hot spring. [13:51] Kazuma     You can do that, right? [13:52] A     Huh? Why? [13:54] K     You're a water goddess, aren't you? [13:56] K     Wait, I'm sorry. It was the     goddess of party tricks, wasn't it? [13:59] A     Fine! I'll do it! [14:02] A     I'll show you what a goddess can do! [14:05] YY     A-Are you itchy anywhere? [14:09] K     If I had to say, maybe in front. [14:11] M     What? Your d***? [14:13] M     Just rip that thing off. [14:18] K     Oh, I think the choker's starting to tighten. [14:23] K     What should I do? Am I gonna die? [14:28] K     Go on! Go on, do it! [14:30] K     Go on, now! [14:32] K     What're you you so scared of?     You're the one who mentioned my d***! [14:33] YY     Megumin! [14:35] K     Go on! Rip it off! Hurry it up, now! [14:37] K     Try and rip it off! [14:39] K     My d***! [14:39] A     It's coming... I can sense it... [14:41] K     Go on! [14:43] K     Quickly, now! [14:45] K     Go ahead! [14:48] A     Here it comes! [15:00] A     KO! NO! SU! BA! [15:08] K     Why won't it come off? [15:10] K     Every wish I can think of has been granted... [15:14] M     All the wishes you could     think up were perverted? [15:19] K     What am I missing? [15:22] K     Wiz, could you give me something to drink? [15:25] W     Oh, okay. [15:25] K     From your mouth, I mean. [15:29] A     Oh, enough! [15:30] A     Tomorrow's the fourth day! [15:32] A     It seems pretty clear that your     disgusting wishes aren't working! [15:35] K     What was that, you useless goddess?! [15:35] YY     Maybe my specialty magic,     Light of Saber, could do something... [15:36] K     You sure you're not just doing     a bad job granting them?! [15:38] A     I've been doing my best, for your information! [15:40] M     I get it. [15:40] K     And how dare you call it disgusting?! [15:41] M     Then, after we've cut Kazuma's head off,     we can easily remove the choker? [15:42] K     Taking a drink from a girl's     mouth is the dream of every man! [15:45] YY     He'd be dead! [15:47] YY     I just wondered if there was a     way to cut only the choker off! [15:50] D     Kazuma! Kazuma! [15:51] D     You're being gradually strangled... [15:54] D     What's it feel like?! [15:55] D     Is it the best, Kazuma?! [15:57] D     Is the grip slowly tightening     around you fantastic?! [16:00] K     Stop it! [16:01] A     Isn't there anything else you want? [16:08] K     I can't think of anything. [16:09] M     Well, you'd better come up with something! [16:11] M     I can't afford to have you die! [16:24] M     Tomorrow's the last day... [16:28] M     Oh, it's you, Yunyun. [16:31] YY     Why are you trying so hard     for Kazuma-san's sake? [16:38] M     If Kazuma is gone, [16:39] M     who will carry me home after     I've used my explosion magic? [16:44] M     His existence is a necessity     for my mastery of explosions! [16:50] M     Besides... [17:21] M     Kazuma is my friend. [17:23] M     The greatest mind of the Crimson Demons [17:25] M     would never forsake a friend. [17:28] YY     I understand. [17:30] YY     I'm partly responsible for     what happened to him, too. [17:33] YY     Let's make sure we     get that choker off him! [17:37] M     There's no telling what awful     things he'll have you do. [17:40] YY     I-It's okay, as long as I'm with you! [17:43] YY     N-Now, I didn't mean anything by that! [17:55] K     Thanks, everyone. [17:56] K     I had a great time. [18:00] M     Uh... Do you have any more terrible     commands, like yesterday? [18:04] K     It's fine. [18:06] K     Thanks for indulging me. [18:08] K     I'm really grateful. [18:10] D     A-All I did was exercise and wash myself! [18:14] D     You could always give me nastier... orders? [18:19] K     I have lived a very shameful life. [18:22] K     Living every moment for your desires     leaves nothing but emptiness. [18:27] M     Do scumbags lose the will to live     once all their desires are sated? [18:33] K     Once I'm dead, you can have this tracksuit. [18:36] K     Let it be the proof that     I lived in this world. [18:40] A     H-Hang on... [18:42] K     Aqua. [18:46] K     The yakisoba bun and bubbly you bought [18:49] K     were very delicious. [19:03] W     Kazuma-san... [19:05] M     Kazuma... [19:06] W     Kazuma-san... [19:07] D     Kazuma... [19:18] A     Don't die, Kazuma. [19:20] A     We're going to bring down the     Devil King together, right? [19:23] M     True... [19:25] W     I won't let you die! [19:28] W     Please... You can ask for anything! [19:33] K     This is what it feels     like to be comforted? [19:43] K     I see. [19:44] K     Then, since it's the end, there are     some things I'd like to apologize for. [19:49] K     Megumin... [19:51] K     When I would carry you home     after you used explosion magic, [19:55] K     I tried to get a feel for your     breasts as much as possible [19:58] K     by shaking you around and     changing my posture a lot. [20:02] K     I'm sorry. [20:04] K     Yunyun, Wiz... [20:06] K     If I'm being honest,     whenever I talk with you two, [20:08] K     my line of sight is fixed on your chests. [20:11] K     Wiz has so much to look at, [20:13] K     and Yunyun's outfit is so     sexy around the chest. [20:15] K     And I actually thought it was your     fault, for having bodies like that. [20:20] K     I'm sorry. [20:21] K     Darkness... [20:23] K     Since we started living together here, [20:25] K     all I've really seen you as is boobs. [20:28] K     You are boobs. [20:30] K     Boobs. [20:32] K     Sorry. [20:34] A     You're going to spout some heresy     about a goddess like me, too? [20:38] K     Aqua, when we were sleeping     in the horse stables... [20:46] (Flashback) A     I can't eat another bite... [20:49] K     I tried desperately to see you as some kind     of love interest, but I just couldn't do it. [20:55] K     I'm sorry. [20:57] A     Don't give up so easily, Kazuma-san! [20:59] A     Don't give up! [21:01] A     Please, I'm begging you! [21:03] K     I have no regrets left. [21:05] K     Thank you all for everything. [21:12] K     Huh? Why? [21:17] (Flashback) K     I could really go for some comfort. [21:20] K     My wish... was to be comforted? [21:29] K     Uh, everyone, that's the     look you save for garbage. [21:32] A     Hey, crappy NEET. [21:35] A     Why don't you try putting     this choker on again? [21:38] A     It's okay. Your kind friends     are sure to help you out. [21:56] E     Well... [21:57] E     Can I just say one thing? [22:00] K     Go ahead. [22:03] E     Try not to die over something as silly as this. [22:07] K     I have no excuse! Season 2 E1 - Give Me Deliverance from this Judicial Injustice! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Please enter your resurrection spell. SIGN    Enter SIGN    KAZUMASREALLYTHEBESTKONOSUBACHARACTER SIGN    The spell is incorrect. Your quest book has been erased. SIGN    Enter SIGN    GODSBLESSINGSONTHISWONDERFULWORLD TWO [00:14] Kazuma     My name is Satou Kazuma... [00:16] Kazuma     A foreigner from a distant land,     fated to battle the Devil King. [00:19] Kazuma     Guided by a goddess of fate,     I was reincarnated in another world... [00:23] Kazuma     An unfamiliar world swirling     with destruction and chaos. [00:26] Kazuma     But I have allies that     I share strong bonds with. [00:28] Kazuma     The ultimate wizard, a     noble and beautiful knight, [00:31] Kazuma     and a magnanimous goddess who     willingly came to my aid. [00:35] Kazuma     The gears of fate now begin to turn. [00:37] Kazuma     In order to save this wonderful world, [00:40] Kazuma     our adventure now begins once again! [00:43] Sena     You're coming with me! [01:02] Kazuma     Wait, no! SIGN    Episode 1 Give Me Deliverance From This Judicial Injustice! [01:05] Kazuma     I wanna go home... [01:07] Kazuma     I just want to go back to Japan. [01:10] (Flashback) Sena     I'm Sena, the public prosecutor     assigned by the kingdom. [01:13] (Flashback) Sena     Adventurer Satou Kazuma, [01:15] (Flashback) Sena     you are currently suspected of     the crime of subversion to the state. [01:18] (Flashback) Aqua     Hey, Kazuma, what did you do this time?! [01:21] (Flashback) Aqua     Come on, apologize! [01:23] (Flashback) Aqua     I'll tell them I'm sorry, too,     so hurry up and apologize! [01:27] (Flashback) Kazuma     What do you mean, "this time"?! [01:28] (Flashback) Kazuma     You should know I didn't do anything! [01:31] (Flashback) Sena     The coronatite that was     teleported at your instruction [01:33] (Flashback) Sena     blew up the residence of a lord. [01:37] (Flashback) Sena     Thankfully, there were no fatalities... [01:39] (Flashback) Sena     But there is the question of whether you are     a terrorist, or a servant of the Devil King. [01:44] (Flashback) Megumin     Wait a minute, please. [01:46] (Flashback) Megumin     If not for Kazuma, there could've been     worse casualties in the Destroyer battle. [01:52] (Flashback) Kazuma     Megumin... [01:53] (Flashback) Megumin     The only crimes Kazuma commits are     minor ones, like sexual harassment. [01:57] (Flashback) Darkness     Miss Prosecutor, this must be some mistake. [02:00] (Flashback) Kazuma     Darkness... [02:01] (Flashback) Darkness     This man lacks the guts for such an act. [02:03] (Flashback) Darkness     Despite eyeing me like a     wild animal in the mansion, [02:07] (Flashback) Darkness     he is the kind of sadsack who     never once came to my bedside. [02:10] (Flashback) Kazuma     I-I-I wasn't eyeing anything! [02:12] (Flashback) Kazuma     Don't get a big head just because     your body's somewhat sexy! [02:15] (Flashback) Kazuma     I reserve the right to be selective! [02:17] (Flashback) Darkness     Wh-Why, you... And after everything     you made me do in the bath! [02:21] (Flashback) Kazuma     That was because I was under     that succubus's control! [02:24] (Flashback) Kazuma     You're the one who went along     with it and washed my back! [02:27] (Flashback) Kazuma     Just how easy are you?! [02:29] (Flashback) Darkness     Th-Then you do remember, after all! [02:32] (Flashback) (Kazuma     Maybe I do! [02:32] (Flashback) (Kazuma     And as a Crusader who serves Eris-sama,     my body must remain pure! [02:37] (Flashback) (Kazuma     And you call me easy... [02:39] (Flashback) (Kazuma     Yep! [02:39] (Flashback) (Kazuma     I'll kill you dead! [02:41] (Flashback) (Kazuma     Do it, then! [02:41] (Flashback) Dust     That's right! [02:42] (Flashback) Dust     Kazuma might be an adventurer,     but he's no criminal! [02:45] (Flashback) Crowd     This is abuse of state power! [02:47] (Flashback) Crowd     Adventurers deserve freedom! [02:49] (Flashback) Crowd     Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! [02:53] (Flashback) Sena     Incidentally, he's not the only one     the subversion charge may apply to. [02:58] (Flashback) Sena     I won't stop anyone who wants     to join him in prison, but... [03:05] (Flashback) Kazuma     Screw you guys! Try harder!     Keep the protest going! [03:08] (Flashback) Aqua     If I remember right, Kazuma said     something like this at the time. [03:11] (Flashback) Aqua     "It's okay. I'll take responsibility." [03:13] (Flashback) Aqua     "I may not look it, but I     apparently have good luck!" [03:17] (Flashback) Kazuma     Wait, hang on... [03:19] (Flashback) Megumin     If... [03:20] (Flashback) Kazuma     If?! [03:20] (Flashback) Megumin     If I had been there at the time, [03:23] (Flashback) Megumin     I'm sure I could've stopped Kazuma! [03:25] (Flashback) Megumin     But since I wasn't there,     there's nothing I could have done! [03:28] (Flashback) Megumin     Nope, nothing at all! [03:30] (Flashback) Kazuma     You people... [03:32] (Flashback) Darkness     Wait. Th-That's right. [03:34] (Flashback) Darkness     I was the one who did it! [03:35] (Flashback) Darkness     It was my command! [03:37] (Flashback) Darkness     So please, let me enjoy     this imprisonment play... [03:38] (Flashback) Darkness     No, let me bear the intensity     of this punishment! [03:41] (Flashback) Sena     Excuse me? I was told you were     trying to act as a meatshield. [03:44] (Flashback) Darkness     Meat— [03:46] (Flashback) Kazuma     Wow, haven't seen that in a while. [03:48] (Flashback) Quiz     Uh, the Teleport spell was cast by— [03:51] (Flashback) Aqua     Don't, Wiz! [03:52] (Flashback) Wiz     Aqua-sama?! [03:52] (Flashback) Aqua     If only one of us has to take the     fall here, that's for the best! [03:55] (Flashback) Aqua     It might be hard, but suck it up! [03:57] (Flashback) Aqua     Suck it up for now! [04:00] (Flashback) Aqua     We'll just wait until Kazuma     finishes doing his time! [04:03] (Flashback) Kazuma     Don't make it sound like I     have to get sent to prison! [04:06] (Flashback) Kazuma     And besides, even if you     guys don't back me up, [04:08] (Flashback) Kazuma     my friends at the Guild are by my side! [04:18] (Flashback) ---     Er, um... [04:19] (Flashback) Luna     Oh, look at the dust... [04:23] (Flashback) Sena     You're coming with me! [04:26] Kazuma     Damn it... So much for the town where     new adventurers get their start. [04:30] Kazuma     If this was a game, [04:31] Kazuma     one of those cliché resistance armies     would come and rescue me... [04:40] Kazuma     What the? [04:41] Aqua     Kazuma! Kazuma! [04:43] Kazuma     Aqua? [04:45] Kazuma     What are you doing here?! [04:47] Aqua     I came to save you, obviously! [04:49] Aqua     I'd never abandon a dear friend. [04:52] Kazuma     Why not defend me in the first place, then? [04:54] Aqua     Megumin just used her explosion     magic on the outskirts of town. [04:58] Aqua     Thanks to that, the guards     ran off to investigate! [05:01] Aqua     Darkness should be running away with     the depleted Megumin as we speak. [05:07] Kazuma     But won't I be making     things worse by running? [05:11] Aqua     I hear you can be executed     for subversive activities. [05:15] Aqua     You're just an adventurer     whose identity is suspect. [05:16] Aqua     They'll manipulate the truth,     and you'll end up dead! [05:19] Kazuma     This parallel world really does have the     cultural level of the Middle Ages... [05:24] Kazuma     But how do I even get out of here? [05:32] Aqua     First, use that wire to pick the cell's lock. [05:35] Aqua     After that, you can use your     Stealth skill to escape the jail! [05:39] Aqua     Then, once we get back to the mansion,     we get ready to skip town! [05:43] Aqua     Well, I'll be waiting out front! [05:52] Kazuma     It's a combination lock... [05:54] Kazuma     Out! [05:56] Kazuma     Guess I'll sleep. [06:10] Aqua     Kazuma! Hey, Kazuma, wake up! [06:14] Kazuma     You're here again? [06:16] Kazuma     What happened yesterday?     Is everybody okay? [06:20] Kazuma     The other two made it back     without being spotted, [06:22] Kazuma     but they were accused of being     behind the explosion. [06:25] (Kazuma     Were they, now? [06:26] (Kazuma     We shouldn't underestimate this     world's investigative ability. [06:28] (Kazuma     I dunno about that... [06:29] (Kazuma     But it's okay. [06:30] (Kazuma     What is? [06:30] (Kazuma     I forced them to wear masks today,     so they won't be found out! [06:35] Kazuma     The problem is the explosion magic. [06:38] Aqua     More importantly, I waited all night     for you. Why didn't you escape? [06:42] Aqua     Snow accumulated on my head, [06:44] Aqua     and they kept dragging me in for questioning! [06:46] Kazuma     The lock uses a combination. [06:49] Aqua     That's clever of them. [06:50] Aqua     I never imagined they'd have such foolproof     measures in place to prevent escape. [06:54] Aqua     But today I've got the perfect solution! [06:57] Kazuma     A hacksaw? [06:59] Kazuma     You're gonna cut the bars with that? [07:00] Aqua     Very astute of you! [07:02] Aqua     We don't have much time,     so let's work together. [07:05] Aqua     Hurry it up! [07:10] Kazuma     Except I can't reach up there. [07:12] Aqua     Not a problem. I'm not stupid, you know. [07:15] Aqua     I brought something for you to stand on, too! [07:18] Kazuma     Eureka. [07:20] Kazuma     And how will you get it in here? [07:24] Aqua     Hang on a second. [07:32] Aqua     You've got it all wrong! [07:33] Aqua     Kazuma needs this, so I was     just giving him a present... [07:36] Jailer     Never heard of a stepping     box for a present before. [07:39] Jailer     And what are you doing here at this hour? [07:41] Jailer     Weren't you wandering around yesterday, too? [07:42] Kazuma     Maybe I should learn from how     optimistic that idiot is. [07:47] Kazuma     Out! [07:49] Kazuma     Guess I'll sleep. [08:00] Sena     Do you know what this is? [08:02] Sena     It's a magical item that     lets us see through lies. [08:06] Sena     First off, where are you from, [08:08] Sena     and what did you do before     you became an adventurer? [08:11] Kazuma     They started off with a     hard-to-answer question. [08:14] Kazuma     I'm from Japan. I was a student there. [08:19] Kazuma     Why'd it go off?! [08:22] Sena     Where are you from, and what did you do there? [08:28] Kazuma     Hang on! [08:29] Kazuma     I wasn't really lying! [08:34] Kazuma     I am from Japan. [08:37] Kazuma     But I stayed home all day, every day,     living a life of self-indulgence. [08:45] Sena     Why pretend to be a student? [08:47] Kazuma     I wasn't really pretending... [08:51] Kazuma     Oh, never mind. [08:52] Kazuma     Damn it, I hate this thing! [08:55] Sena     I've never heard of a     place called Japan before. [08:59] Sena     So, what's your motive for     becoming an adventurer? [09:02] Kazuma     To save the people who were being     oppressed by the Devil King— [09:10] Kazuma     I thought being an adventurer seemed cool, [09:12] Kazuma     a fun way to make a lot of money, [09:14] Kazuma     and a great way to make     pretty girls fall all over me. [09:20] Sena     O-Okay. Well, next question. [09:23] Sena     Did you have a grudge against the lord? [09:25] Sena     I've heard that once you got into debt,     you complained about him regularly. [09:29] Kazuma     The reward I received for the dullahan hunt [09:32] Kazuma     took care of the debts I     owed for the town's repairs. [09:36] Kazuma     Even if we were trying to protect it, [09:37] Kazuma     destroying the town in the process makes     it a moot point. I understand that. [09:44] Kazuma     That was actually the argument     I used to convince my friends. [09:49] Kazuma     I personally felt something like, [09:50] Kazuma     "This is how you treat the     hero who saved this town?! [09:53] Kazuma     You all should die!" [09:56] Sena     I-I see. Moving on... [09:59] Kazuma     Uh, can I ask you something? [10:02] Kazuma     Can we just get to the point? [10:04] Kazuma     I know I'm repeating myself,     but I made that call to save the town. [10:12] Sena     It seems I was wrong. [10:16] Sena     I had only heard bad rumors about you, so... [10:19] Sena     I apologize. [10:21] Kazuma     Oh, how nice. [10:23] Kazuma     I guess the harsh treatment     was just for criminals... [10:27] Kazuma     Honestly, taking rumors     at face value like that! [10:31] Kazuma     Makes you a bad prosecutor, doesn't it? [10:33] Sena     I-I'm sorry... [10:35] Kazuma     Do you know what I've accomplished? [10:37] Kazuma     I contributed the most to our     subjugation of that dullahan! [10:40] Kazuma     We beat the Destroyer thanks to the     amazing job I did as commander! [10:44] Kazuma     And instead of getting any thanks,     I get accusations instead! [10:48] Sena     S-Sorry about that! [10:50] Sena     It's just that this is my job... [10:51] Sena     And I do know of your     accomplishments, Satou-san. [10:54] Sena     But... [10:55] Kazuma     But? [10:56] Kazuma     But what, exactly?! [10:58] Kazuma     Also, even after I'm cleared of suspicion, [11:00] Kazuma     you guys still don't offer me any tea? [11:02] Kazuma     I'd even take a pork cutlet bowl! [11:04] Sena     P-Pork cutlet...? [11:06] Sena     I'm sorry, we don't have     anything like that... [11:08] Sena     I can get you some tea right away, though! [11:13] Kazuma     It's lukewarm! [11:15] Kazuma     Don't the prosecutors here     even know how to serve tea?! [11:17] Sena     I-I'm sorry! [11:19] Kazuma     I bet this gap between     that harsh attitude and [11:21] Kazuma     how you are now means you don't     have a boyfriend, either. [11:24] Kazuma     I may as well ask! Do you even have a man? [11:28] Sena     I do not. [11:30] Sena     Yes, I realize that my personality is     why I don't have any male companionship, [11:34] Sena     in spite of my age. [11:36] Sena     Are you satisfied? [11:38] Sena     Please don't get too full of yourself. [11:42] Kazuma     I'm sorry... [11:44] Sena     Do you know what you're called around town? [11:47] ---     Huh? [11:48] Sena     "Crapuma" and "Kazutrash" and such. [11:50] Kazuma     Th-That's horrible!     What jerks are calling me that?! [11:56] Sena     Just for the record, I should ask... [11:58] Sena     Do you truly have no connection     to the Devil King's army? [12:02] Sena     No discourse with any of the     Devil King's leaders or anything? [12:05] Kazuma     I have no such thing! [12:06] Kazuma     Do I— [12:10] Kazuma     Do I really look... like... that big a deal? [12:16] Kazuma     Crap! Wiz used to be a leader     in the Devil King's army! [12:33] Judge     We will now begin the trial     of the accused, Satou Kazuma. [12:52] Megumin     You look really nervous. [12:54] Megumin     It's okay. I'll counter that prosecutor's     arguments until she's in tears. [12:59] Darkness     Worry not, Kazuma. [13:00] Darkness     You haven't done anything wrong in this case. [13:04] Kazuma     That's reassuring. [13:05] Kazuma     So reassuring... and yet... [13:09] Aqua     Hey, you can probably just leave it to me! [13:12] Kazuma     This one's the problem. [13:17] Aqua     Hey, hey, that guy seems to     have his eyes glued to us. [13:20] Darkness     That is the lord in question, Aldarp. [13:25] Judge     Prosecutor, step forward! [13:34] Sena     A crime that threatens someone     with the station of lord [13:37] Sena     is a threat to the nation itself. [13:40] Sena     As such, the accused, Satou Kazuma, is     charged with subversion of the state's power. SIGN    Witness Questioning [13:46] Sena     Bring forth the witness! [13:50] Guys     Chris! [13:52] Chris     I guess they called me down for this. SIGN    First Testimony SIGN    Satou Kazuma's Underpants Hijacking [13:57] Sena     So, Chris-san, he used Steal     on you in a public place [14:01] Sena     and removed your underwear, correct? [14:05] Chris     Uh... Well, that's correct, but that was... [14:08] Witness     I saw it happen! [14:12] Witness     I saw him swinging around that     girl's panties the street! [14:15] Sena     Which man do you mean? [14:22] Sena     I am satisfied with establishing     the truth of this evidence. [14:26] Sena     Thank you very much. SIGN    Second Testimony SIGN    Satou Kazuma's Theft, Illegal Sale of a Magic Sword [14:31] Sena     Mitsurugi Kyouya-san, [14:33] Sena     your magic sword was stolen and     sold off by the accused, correct? [14:36] Mitsurugi     W-Well, that's true. [14:38] Mitsurugi     But I was the one who     issued the challenge, so— [14:41] Sena     Thank you! [14:42] Mitsurugi     Wait a sec— SIGN    Third Testimony SIGN    Satou Kazuma's Threats Against Women [14:46] Sena     And you two, when you tried     to retrieve the magic sword, [14:49] Sena     he threatened to remove your     underwear in public, did he not? [14:53] Fio     That's right, he threatened us! [14:54] Fio     He said he was an advocate     of true gender equality, [14:56] Fio     so he had no problem with     dropkicking a female opponent! [14:59] Fio     You coward! [15:00] Clemea     It's true! [15:01] Clemea     "I'll unleash my Steal ability     right here in public," he said! [15:05] Turban     I saw it! He was doing this     creepy thing with his hands... [15:08] Turban     It was really quite creepy! [15:12] Sena     Thank you very much. [15:13] Crowd     What a deviant. [15:14] Crowd     That's horrible. [15:15] Crowd     What trash. [15:17] Kazuma     This is bad! [15:19] Kazuma     This is getting seriously bad now! [15:22] Aldarp     That's enough. Let's get     this execution on the road. [15:25] Megumin     Objection! [15:26] Megumin     I will admit that Kazuma     has a warped personality, [15:29] Megumin     but all this testimony is     inadmissible as evidence! [15:33] Kazuma     Megumin! [15:34] Megumin     I demand some legitimate basis for     these accusations of terrorism! [15:38] Aqua     Yeah! What're you basing it on?! [15:40] Sena     The basis for the case? Very well. [15:42] Sena     First! [15:44] Sena     Even if it was to defeat a dullahan,     he damaged the town with a flood. [15:49] Sena     Second! [15:51] Sena     The use of explosion magic     in the vicinity of the town [15:53] Sena     has altered the landscape and     ecosystem, on top of creating [15:57] Sena     disruptive noise late at night! [16:01] Kazuma     My defense is doomed. [16:03] Sena     And third! [16:04] Sena     An eyewitness report of the accused using a     skill known only by undead, Drain Touch! [16:11] Kazuma     Stay quiet! Exercise your     right to remain silent! [16:14] Sena     Covering your ears doesn't     mean that it didn't happen! [16:17] Sena     The biggest reason to suspect you [16:19] Sena     is the fact that you claimed to have     no connection the Devil King's army. [16:22] Sena     At that time, the magic     lie detector went off! [16:26] Sena     Is that not sufficient evidence? [16:31] Aqua     It's over, it's all over!     Kazuma's a convict now! [16:35] Kazuma     Oh, God! What do I do?! [16:37] (Aqua     Even though he was just     a shut-in NEET at first! [16:38] Adarp     That's enough! [16:39] Adarp     There no denying he's connected     to the Devil King's army! [16:40] (Aqua     But first he becomes more     and more of a pervert, [16:43] (Aqua     and now he's a criminal! [16:44] Kazuma     Thanks, old man. [16:46] Kazuma     This is my chance! [16:47] Aldarp     He sent explosives into my mansion! [16:51] Aldarp     Execute him immediately! [16:52] Kazuma     Wrong! [16:54] Kazuma     I have no connections to the Devil King's army, [16:56] Kazuma     and I'm no terrorist! [16:58] Sena     What point does this serve now? [16:59] Sena     Your testimony was proven     wrong, on the record! [17:03] Kazuma     All right, listen up! [17:05] Kazuma     I'm gonna say it! [17:06] Kazuma     I... [17:08] Kazuma     do not work for the Devil King's     army, nor am I a terrorist! [17:17] Sena     That can't be! [17:19] Sena     Your honor? [17:21] Judge     Given the circumstances, [17:22] Judge     the prosecution's basis for this case     can no longer be seen as valid. [17:32] Judge     Therefore, the accused, Satou Kazuma, [17:34] Judge     with no sufficient basis to suspect     you, I judge you innocent— [17:38] Adarp     No, Judge. [17:40] Judge     Lord Aldarp? [17:42] Adarp     Are you trying to embarrass me? [17:48] Kazuma     What the hell?! That's playing dirty! [17:50] Aldarp     You're nothing but an adventurer! [17:53] Kazuma     Stupid Middle Ages... [17:56] Judge     The defendant... is guilty. [17:58] Judge     His sentence... [18:00] Judge     is death. [18:01] Kazuma     That's not right! [18:06] Darkness     Your honor, will you hear me out? [18:12] Kazuma     Darkness? [18:16] Judge     That's... [18:17] Judge     The Dustiness family crest! [18:22] Luna     The Dustiness family? [18:23] Wiz     They're said to be the king's     greatest allies! They're famous! [18:27] Ruffian     I knew something was up with that gal... [18:32] Ruffian     But I never imagined this. [18:33] Kazuma     And after I kept quiet about it for you... [18:36] Darkness     He's a sly one. [18:38] Darkness     Nothing short of this would've     prevented your execution. [18:42] Darkness     Would you let me handle this trial? [18:47] Darkness     I am not asking for it to be canceled. [18:50] Darkness     With time, I can prove this man's innocence. [18:55] Adarp     I don't care how much authority     the Dustiness family wields... [18:58] Darkness     I would owe you for this. [19:01] Darkness     That being the case,     I will do anything you ask. [19:08] Aldarp     Anything? [19:09] Darkness     Yes, anything. [19:11] Crowd     Darkness-san... [19:12] Crowd     Darkness... [19:14] Thedol     Th-That's right!     Kazuma didn't do anything wrong! [19:16] Garil     He even gave me a coupon! [19:18] Dust     This trial's a load of crap! [19:20] Dust     Kazuma! Kazuma! [19:22] Crowd     Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma! [19:27] Judge     Order! Order! [19:33] Judge     Order, please! [19:35] Judge     I'm telling you people to pipe down, damn it! [19:39] Judge     KO! NO! SU! BA! [19:41] Judge     Ahem... [19:43] Judge     A request from none other than a     daughter of the Dustiness family. [19:46] Judge     I will believe your words. [19:49] Judge     The accused, Satou Kazuma,     will be given a stay of trial! [19:55] Aqua     This is great, Kazuma! [19:57] Aqua     I don't really get why, but you're not     getting executed, and that's a good thing! [20:00] Aqua     Hup! A celebratory Nature's Beauty! [20:04] Megumin     It seems my wit and arguments bore fruit. [20:07] Kazuma     You guys gave up with hardly any resistance. SIGN    Satou Kazuma is given a stay of trial.     Remains under surveillance as a suspect. [20:18] Kazuma     For once, I really have to be grateful. [20:21] Darkness     You can't rest easy yet. [20:23] Darkness     But leave Aldarp to me. [20:25] Kazuma     Will you be okay? [20:26] Kazuma     That old dude was giving you a nasty look. [20:29] Kazuma     Are you sure he won't     demand something crazy? [20:32] Darkness     S-Something crazy... [20:36] Kazuma     I want a refund for my concern. [20:37] Darkness     No, it'll be fine. [20:41] Darkness     I'll be taking my leave now. [20:48] Kazuma     Lalatina. [20:49] Darkness     Do not call me that! [20:58] Kazuma     I have two missions now. [21:00] Kazuma     First, to prove that I'm not a     member of the Devil King's forces. [21:04] Kazuma     The second is to reimburse     the lord for his damages. [21:08] Kazuma     It might not be fair, but after what     Darkness did to save me, it must be done. [21:14] Kazuma     As of now, my adventure [21:16] Kazuma     enters its second chapter! [21:21] Soldiers     The court has ordered [21:23] Soldiers     that the suspect's personal assets     be seized to pay back his debt! [21:52] Kazuma     My adventure's... [21:54] Kazuma     second chapter... starts now... SIGN    Suspect Kazuma's SIGN    Total Debt SIGN    1,240,000 Eris SIGN    Mom, Dad, it's been a while. I'm currently in a really tough position. I'm facing a lot of questions about my choices as an adventurer, and as a human being. But when I think about the people who are close to me, I think I can endure anything. I think I'm a guy who can get things done, when it comes down to it. I used to always say that one day I would do something big. ...No, I don't mean anything criminal! SIGN    Episode 2 SIGN    A Friend for This Crimson Demon Girl! [23:31] Kazuma     Mom, Dad, it's been a while. [23:34] Kazuma     I'm currently in a really tough position. [23:37] Kazuma     I'm facing a lot of questions about my     choices as an adventurer, and as a huma— E2 - A Friend For This Crimson Demon Girl! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] Aqua     Achoo! [00:03] Aqua     Cold... I'm so cold... [00:06] Aqua     Warm me up... Somebody warm me up... [00:12] Aqua     What's wrong with you?! [00:14] Kazuma     Don't you get it?! [00:15] Kazuma     Darkness went to deal with that lord     last night and never came back! [00:19] Kazuma     She's probably... [00:27] Kazuma     Megumin? [00:28] Kazuma     What's with the cat? [00:30] Megumin     I doubt she'll cause much trouble, so... [00:33] Kazuma     You want to keep her? [00:34] Megumin     Is that all right? [00:37] ---     Ow! [00:38] Aqua     Hey, why'd she only scratch me?! [00:41] Aqua     Unbelievable! [00:42] Aqua     Between the jet black fur     and the imperious attitude, [00:45] Aqua     I can sense some sort of malevolent aura! [00:48] Aqua     So, what do you call this demonic beast? [00:51] Megumin     Chomusuke. [00:54] Kazuma     What'd you— [00:54] Megumin     She's Chomusuke. [00:58] Megumin     Anyway, what were the two     of you making a fuss about? [01:01] Kazuma     How can you be so calm? [01:03] Kazuma     As we speak, Darkness might be... [01:04] Megumin     There may be unsavory rumors about that lord, [01:07] Megumin     but I doubt Darkness could easily be— [01:09] Kazuma     That's the problem with children! [01:10] Kazuma     You still don't understand     that deviant at all! [01:16] Darkness     You can do what you want with my body... [01:18] Kazuma     "But don't think you'll have     your way with my heart!" [01:21] Kazuma     She's sure to say something like that. [01:24] Megumin     Wh-Wh-What should we do?! [01:26] Megumin     Darkness is in grave danger! [01:27] Megumin     What should we do, Kazuma?! [01:29] Kazuma     It's too late. [01:30] Kazuma     Listen up. When she gets back, [01:32] Kazuma     just be as nice to her as you normally would. [01:35] Aqua     I-I get it! [01:36] Aqua     So we can't ask Darkness what it was     like to climb the stairs to adulthood! [01:42] Megumin     Darkness... Darkness, she's... [01:42] Sena     Satou Kazuma! [01:43] Sena     Is Satou Kazuma here?! SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Defeat the monsters in the vicinity of Axel [03:24] Aqua     No! [03:30] Kazuma     While they were trying to spring me, SIGN    Episode 2 A Friend for This Crimson Demon Girl! [03:32] Kazuma     Megumin had cast her explosion     magic all over the place. [03:35] Kazuma     Thanks to that, the Giant Toads that     had been hibernating woke up early. [03:36] (Aqua     Help! [03:39] Kazuma     So, we're here to clean up her mess, but... [03:41] Aqua     No! [03:43] Aqua     I don't wanna be toad food again! [03:46] Kazuma     The toads haven't slowed     down, despite the cold... [03:50] Kazuma     Aren't they a little too hardy? [03:51] Megumin     We will not be outdone! [03:54] Megumin     We must get much, much     stronger in order to survive [03:59] Megumin     in this cruel world. [04:00] Kazuma     I'll get you out— [04:01] Megumin     No, please, help Aqua first. [04:03] Megumin     It's cold outside, but it's quite     warm inside this toad. [04:08] Megumin     Having already cast my explosion magic, [04:11] Megumin     all I can do is slow this one down. [04:13] Kazuma     O-Okay, I'll leave you to it. [04:16] Sena     Is that a good idea?! [04:17] Aqua     Kazuma-san! [04:18] Aqua     I can't! I just can't! [04:20] Aqua     Hurry and do something! [04:24] Kazuma     Even with Darkness to act as     a sturdy wall for our party, [04:28] Kazuma     none of us had an effective ranged attack. [04:31] Kazuma     In light of that, I decided     to learn a new skill. [04:34] Kazuma     And it's called... [04:35] Kazuma     Snipe! [04:38] Kazuma     The Snipe skill has higher accuracy     the higher your luck stat is. [04:42] Kazuma     It's a perfect fit for me! [04:44] Aqua     Kazuma-san... [04:54] Aqua     Hey! That arrow almost messed     up the best part of my hair— [05:00] Kazuma     Aqua! [05:04] Kazuma     KONOSUBA! [05:10] Kazuma     My skill... My skill... [05:12] Sena     A-Are you people always like this? [05:15] Megumin     W-Wait a moment! [05:17] Megumin     The toads! [05:20] Kazuma     This is bad! Now there's not enough bai— [05:22] Kazuma     I mean, enough decoys to keep them occupied! [05:26] Kazuma     Aqua, you should still be     keeping them occupied! [05:28] Aqua     No way! You be the decoy this time! [05:30] Kazuma     Stupid! You don't have enough     attack power to beat these toads! [05:34] Kazuma     If we can beat even one of them,     that'd leave just two! [05:36] Kazuma     Then you and Sena-san can     keep them busy together! [05:39] Sena     I'm just here to supervise you all,     not to get dragged into— [05:47] Aqua     Kazuma, there's your chance! [05:49] Aqua     Hurry and get the toa— [05:51] Aqua     No! [05:54] Kazuma     You guys! [05:56] Megumin     Excuse me, but I think I'm     slowly being swallowed. [05:59] Megumin     Could you rescue me now, please? [06:03] Kazuma     Aw, damn it! [06:04] Kazuma     If only Darkness were here! [06:21] Kazuma     We're doomed! [06:23] Yunyun     Light of Saber! [06:43] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [06:45] Kazuma     I honestly don't want to touch them... [06:50] Kazuma     You should be able to walk now. [06:51] Kazuma     I don't know who you are, but thanks. [06:55] Yunyun     I-I wasn't trying to save you. [06:58] Yunyun     If my rival had been eaten by     a toad, I'd look ridiculous... [07:04] Kazuma     Rival? [07:08] Yunyun     I-It's been a long time, Megumin! [07:10] Yunyun     Today is the day we finally     settle our long-standing score! [07:14] Megumin     Who might you be, exactly? [07:16] Megumin     I mean, it's strange that     you never gave your name. [07:21] Megumin     This must be one of those "Hey, it's me!"     scams that Kazuma described before. [07:25] Yunyun     F-Fine, then! [07:27] Yunyun     It's embarrassing to do this     in front of strangers, but... [07:32] Yunyun     My name is Yunyun! [07:33] Yunyun     An arch wizard and master     of advanced magic! [07:37] Yunyun     She who will one day lead the Crimson Demons! [07:40] Megumin     Anyway, this is Yunyun. [07:42] Megumin     Daughter of the Crimson Demons' leader,     and my self-proclaimed rival. [07:46] Yunyun     So you did remember! [07:47] Kazuma     I see. Well, I'm one of her     adventuring friends, Kazuma. [07:51] Kazuma     Nice to meet you, Yunyun. [07:53] Yunyun     H-Huh? [07:54] Yunyun     You're not laughing at my name? [07:58] Kazuma     Well, y'know, in this world of ours, [07:59] Kazuma     there are some who have weird     names in the first place, [08:02] Kazuma     but still end up with disgraceful     nicknames like "Crazy Exploding Girl." [08:06] Megumin     You mean me? You're talking     about me, aren't you?! [08:09] Megumin     How did that name attach itself to me     and I'm only now hearing about it?! [08:13] Yunyun     I-Impressive, Megumin.     You've found good allies! [08:15] Kazuma     Cut it out! Don't touch me! [08:17] Yunyun     As befits my rival! [08:19] Yunyun     I'll defeat you and become     first among the Crimson Demons! [08:23] Yunyun     Now, Megumin, I challenge you to a duel! [08:26] Megumin     I'd rather not. It's too cold. [08:29] Yunyun     Why?! [08:30] Yunyun     Please, fight me! [08:33] Megumin     No, thank you. [08:34] Yunyun     Please! [08:35] Yunyun     One fight! Just once! [08:36] Sena     You somehow managed today, [08:37] Megumin     No. [08:38] Yunyun     Then when can we have a duel?! [08:38] Sena     but I'm not fully convinced this     wasn't just an act to deceive me. [08:41] Megumin     How should I know? [08:41] Yunyun     But why?! Megumin! [08:43] Sena     Excuse me. [08:44] Aqua     Well, I'll make arrangements for the     guild to haul the toad meat in. [08:44] Megumin     I said no. [08:45] Yunyun     Come on, Megumin! Just one little duel! [08:48] Megumin     Not happening. [08:49] Kazuma     I don't really appreciate being left     on my own with these two... [08:50] Yunyun     Aw, come on, Megumin! [08:55] Megumin     Very well, then. [08:58] Megumin     I can no longer use my magic today, [09:00] Megumin     so let's make it a contest in the martial arts     that you're supposed to be skilled at. [09:04] Yunyun     Really? [09:05] Yunyun     I mean, you barely attended     martial arts class at the academy... [09:10] Kazuma     Stare. [09:10] Yunyun     And every lunch period,     you'd show up like clockwork, [09:13] Kazuma     Stare... [09:14] Yunyun     challenge me to a duel,     and then steal my lunch... [09:16] Kazuma     Stare... [09:19] Kazuma     Girl... [09:20] Megumin     It was a matter of life and death for me. [09:22] Megumin     Due to personal circumstances, her lunches     were the only thing keeping me alive. [09:26] Yunyun     All right, then that will be how we fight! [09:29] Kazuma     Seriously? [09:30] Megumin     Very well. [09:32] Megumin     Now then, come at me as you will! [09:40] Kazuma     Judging from their builds, it looks     like Yunyun's gonna win this. [09:43] Kazuma     I can't even begin to imagine Megumin     being any good at unarmed combat. [09:51] Yunyun     M-Megumin... [09:53] Yunyun     Um, your body's still kind of shiny... [09:58] Megumin     That's right. [09:59] Megumin     What you see clinging to every inch of me     are the fluids from inside a toad's stomach. [10:04] Megumin     Come! The moment you get close to me, [10:07] Megumin     I'll grab you with both arms [10:08] Megumin     and put you in a submission hold! [10:11] Yunyun     N-No way! [10:13] Yunyun     You're trying to make me lose my will     to fight so I'll give up, aren't you? [10:17] Yunyun     Right? [10:20] Megumin     We're friends, aren't we? [10:23] Megumin     And I believe friendship means     sharing in each other's suffering. [10:27] Yunyun     No! [10:28] Megumin     C'mon. C'mon. C'mon. [10:31] Megumin     C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! [10:31] Yunyun     I give up! I'll give up! [10:33] Yunyun     Stay away from me! [10:34] Megumin     C'mon! [10:37] Yunyun     I give up! I already gave up! [10:41] Megumin     I win again! [10:45] Darkness     S-Stop it! [10:47] Darkness     Damn you! [10:49] Darkness     K-Kill— [10:51] Kazuma     She actually ran off crying. [10:54] Megumin     Kazuma. [10:55] Megumin     The spoils of war. [10:56] Megumin     Sell it to start making your payments. [10:59] Kazuma     Are you sure? [11:01] Megumin     It is of no use to a grand sorceress     such as myself, who operates beyond [11:04] Megumin     the bounds of society. [11:07] Kazuma     Do you ever think about learning     skills other than explosion ma— [11:09] Megumin     Never. [11:10] Kazuma     Yeah, I figured. [11:14] Megumin     What is it? [11:15] Kazuma     I was just thinking that you're     prettier than that other girl. [11:20] Duck Girl     Wait! [11:22] Megumin     Well, thank you very much! [11:24] Megumin     As thanks, let me give you a big hug! [11:26] Kazuma     S-Stay away from me! [11:28] Megumin     You should be happier. [11:30] Megumin     Some people would pay money to     have a slimy girl all over them. [11:36] Kazuma     You reek of toads! [11:40] Kazuma     I never thought an embrace     could be so unpleasant... [11:44] Megumin     Chomusuke! [11:45] Megumin     Were you a good— [11:50] Kazuma     Well, I'm off to the bath. [11:53] Kazuma     What is it? [11:54] Megumin     Surely you've heard of "ladies first"? [11:57] Kazuma     I yearn for true gender equality. [12:00] Kazuma     I have no patience for one who talks about     female privilege when it suits them, [12:03] Kazuma     and then complains about someone     "not being a man" when it's convenient! [12:13] Kazuma     Besides, if you want to be treated like     a lady, you should grow into one first! [12:18] Megumin     You're treating me like a     child again, aren't you?! [12:20] Megumin     For the record, I'm only     three years younger than you! [12:23] Kazuma     Yet you seem like just a kid to me,     so you're wasting your time! [12:27] Megumin     This guy's actually taking his clothes off! [12:29] Kazuma     I'm not backing down on this one! [12:30] Kazuma     No matter what! Get it?! [12:32] Kazuma     If you do, then get out of here already! [12:35] Megumin     I see. So you don't really     see me as a woman, then. [12:39] Megumin     In that case, I may as well join you. [12:42] Kazuma     True. Getting in together     will solve both our problems. [12:45] Megumin     Wha?! [12:46] Megumin     E-Excuse me, doesn't this usually     call for a response like, [12:48] Megumin     "D-Dummy! I could never do that!" [12:50] Megumin     And then bashfully allowing     me to use the bath first? [12:53] Kazuma     Just so you know, I'm not     the type to go for clichés. [12:57] Kazuma     Say, for instance, you were in love with me, [12:59] Kazuma     and some other girl was making moves on me. [13:02] Kazuma     If you were to, out of jealousy,     inflict some unjust violence on me, [13:05] Kazuma     I would fight back with no hesitation. [13:07] Kazuma     I'm a guy who does what he has to do! [13:09] Kazuma     You'd do well to remember that! [13:13] Megumin     I get the feeling your application of that     saying leaves something to be desired, [13:17] Megumin     but all right, fine. [13:19] Kazuma     So after provoking me like that,     you're not gonna join me? [13:21] Kazuma     I'm surprised at your lack of resolve. [13:23] Megumin     How dare you?! [13:24] Megumin     You think I lack resolve?! [13:26] Megumin     Yep. [13:26] Megumin     Them's fighting words! Fine, I'll get in! [13:28] Megumin     It's just a bath! I can do that! [13:29] Megumin     Ouch! [13:30] Megumin     Now, stop skulking behind that towel,     and and let's get in the bath! [13:31] Megumin     Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?! [13:33] ---     Stop, you idiot! [13:35] Kazuma     Don't pull on it, you perv! Show a little shame! [13:37] Megumi     Out with it! [13:44] Kazuma     Hey. [13:45] Megumin     Yes? [13:46] Kazuma     I thought cats didn't like baths. [13:49] Megumin     She likes to stay clean. [13:52] Kazuma     Hey... [13:53] Megumin     Yes? [13:54] Kazuma     Is that other girl gonna be okay? [13:56] Megumin     I'm sure I'll see her again. [13:58] Megumin     She chases after me,     claiming to be my rival, after all. [14:02] Kazuma     She's the same age as you, right? [14:04] Megumin     Why don't you just come out and say what you     were thinking when you looked at me just now? [14:09] Kazuma     I was thinking how everybody     matures at their own pace— [14:11] Megumin     Darkness blacker than black     and darker than dark... [14:12] Kazuma     Hey, cut that out! [14:13] Kazuma     It's bad for my heart! [14:15] Megumin     I'm sure that in another year or two, [14:17] Megumin     I'll have a body that'll have     Yunyun crying for forgiveness... [14:22] Megumin     I would appreciate it if you'd     stop staring so intently! [14:27] Kazuma     Why are we in the bath together? [14:30] Megumin     Why bring that up now? [14:31] Megumin     Why would you suddenly come to your senses?! [14:35] Kazuma     Well, I mean, anyone seeing     this would probably react— [14:39] Aqua     I'm back! [14:41] Aqua     Hey, I got the cash for the toad meat! [14:45] Kazuma     Is it locked?! [14:46] Kazuma     Did you lock the door to the bath?! [14:48] Megumin     I-I didn't! [14:49] Megumin     Wh-Wh-What do we do?! [14:51] Aqua     Kazuma? Megumin? I'm back! [14:55] Aqua     It'd be nice if someone would say something! [14:58] Aqua     Huh? The bath? [15:00] Kazuma     Freeze! [15:05] Kazuma     Either I'm doomed, or my magic holds out! [15:06] Aqua     Hey! [15:07] Aqua     Anyone there? [15:09] Kazuma     Hold out, magic power of mine! [15:12] Kazuma     If Aqua sees us, it'll mean getting     called "Pedo-NEET" and "Lolimaniac" [15:15] Kazuma     and other disgraceful nicknames! [15:21] Kazuma     I don't even have the strength to stand. [15:25] Aqua     Megumin, when you get out of     the bath, let's have lunch. [15:29] Aqua     Actually, get out of there already. [15:30] Aqua     I'm all slimy myself, y'know! [15:38] Megumin     That was a close one. If things     had gone on much longer... [15:40] Kazuma     I almost got branded a lolicon. [15:44] Kazuma     Hey, Megumin. [15:45] Kazuma     Sorry to ask, but I can't move,     so could you dry me off? [15:49] Megumin     Hey. [15:50] Megumin     Why don't you explain exactly why getting     into the bath with me makes you a lolicon? [15:57] Kazuma     Hey, wait, stop it! [15:58] Kazuma     What are you trying to do?!     You'll be branded a female pervert! [16:00] Kazuma     Hey, A-Aqua! [16:01] Kazuma     Aqua! The little girl is bullying me! [16:09] Aqua     Pedo-NEET. SIGN    12 Giant Toads Killed SIGN    Today's Results [16:18] Kazuma     The day after receiving     my disgraceful title, [16:20] Kazuma     we dropped by Wiz's shop to figure     out what to do about my debt. [16:25] Kazuma     Hey! [16:26] Kazuma     I'm looking to sell this. [16:30] Wiz     She's here to— [16:30] Yunyun     M-My name is Yunyun! [16:33] Yunyun     What a coincidence! [16:35] Yunyun     What a quirk of fate! [16:36] Yunyun     To think that we would     have an encounter here! [16:38] Yunyun     You truly are my lifelong rival! [16:41] Wiz     She heard that you all     visit my store regularly [16:44] Wiz     and has been waiting all morning. [16:45] Yunyun     Wh-What are you saying, shopkeep?! [16:48] Yunyun     I just came by to buy some magic items... [16:50] Yunyun     U-Um, I'd like this! [16:52] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [16:55] Kazuma     I see. [16:56] Kazuma     You could've just come by the     mansion instead of doing all this. [17:00] Yunyun     But I can't just visit someone's     home unannounced... [17:03] Megumin     It's always half-measures with you. [17:05] Megumin     That's why you can't make friends. [17:06] Aqua     Is that true? [17:08] Megumin     Yunyun is the rare Crimson Demon     who's embarrassed by her name. [17:11] Megumin     She would usually eat lunch     alone at the academy. [17:14] Wiz     Now, now. [17:14] Megumin     And whenever I would cross her line of sight, [17:17] Megumin     she'd gleefully challenge me over and over. [17:20] Yunyun     I-It wasn't that bad! [17:22] Yunyun     I did have some friends. [17:24] Megumin     I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. [17:26] Megumin     You had friends, Yunyun? [17:28] Yunyun     Of course! Even I had friends! [17:31] Yunyun     There was Funifura-san and Dodonko-san, [17:33] Yunyun     who would always say, "We're friends, right?"     and I would treat them to lunch... [17:37] Kazuma     Hey, stop! [17:38] Kazuma     I don't want to hear any more! [17:40] Megumin     Well, since I can only use explosion magic, [17:43] Megumin     I would rather avoid magic duels. [17:46] Yunyun     Would you learn some other magic already? [17:48] Yunyun     You're bound to have unused     skill points, right? [17:51] Megumin     Yes, I do. [17:53] Megumin     And I intend to put them all into     "Explosion Magic Power Boost" [17:56] Megumin     and "High-Speed Casting." [17:58] Yunyun     Stupid! Why are you so obsessed     with explosion magic?! [18:01] Kazuma     That's right, you tell her! [18:03] Yunyun     You've always been this way, Megumin! [18:03] Aqua     All this talk of duels...     For classmates, you guys sure are vicious. [18:06] Megumin     Your lack of appreciation for explosion     magic makes you the crazy one. [18:09] Aqua     Hey, hey. [18:10] Aqua     Maybe this would be good? [18:12] Aqua     "The friendship crystal." [18:14] Wiz     Oh, only a seasoned magic user     can use that effectively. [18:19] Yunyun     If you can use it well, can you make friends? [18:22] Wiz     Well, yes. [18:24] Wiz     I know! Why not try it? [18:26] Megumin     I hardly see the need to make friends... [18:29] Yunyun     Have you lost your nerve, Megumin? [18:32] Yunyun     In other words, [18:33] Yunyun     being able to use this more effectively     is proof of greater spell casting skill! [18:37] Yunyun     I challenge you, Megumin! [18:39] Megumin     If you insist, then I will demonstrate for you [18:42] Megumin     the power of a true magic user! [18:45] Yunyun     Today is the day we settle this score! [18:52] Wiz     Just what I'd expect from Crimson Demons. [18:54] Yunyun     Now, crystal, demonstrate your power! [18:57] Wiz     The crystal's power is activating! [19:07] Wiz     It's never projected this much before! [19:10] Wiz     They both have incredible magic! [19:12] Kazuma     What... is this?! [19:22] Kazuma     Is she gathering bread crusts? [19:25] Aqua     Wait a minute... [19:31] (Flashback) Yunyun     Happy birthday! [19:34] Aqua     Is she... by herself? [19:36] (Flashback) Farmer     Dang it! [19:39] (Flashback) Komekko     Onee-chan, you're amazing! [19:47] (Flashback) Yunyun     Not bad! But how about this?! [19:52] (Flashback) Komekko     You're so great! [20:04] (Flashback) Komekko     Onee-chan, this is great! [20:07] (Flashback) Yunyun     I wouldn't even mind a devil     for a friend at this point... [20:10] Kazuma     She's working odd jobs to take     her "friends" out to eat?! [20:14] Aqua     Wait, why is she... [20:16] Aqua     eating a bug? [20:19] Megumin     What is this?! [20:21] Yunyun     Shopkeep, you said this crystal     would create friendship, right?! [20:23] Wiz     This is a valued item that deepens     feelings of friendship and love [20:30] Wiz     by exposing past embarrassment... actually... [20:34] Yunyun     Megumin! Hey, Megumin! [20:36] Yunyun     Is this going to make us friends?! [20:45] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [20:47] Wiz     I'll just put that on your tab, Kazuma-san. [20:50] Kazuma     Hang on. Megumin was the one who broke it. [20:52] Megumin     Yunyun was the one who wanted to use it. [20:55] Megumin     She'll pay. [20:56] Yunyun     My duel... I finally got her to duel, and... [20:59] Megumin     How long are you going to mope? [21:01] Yunyun     But how do we know who won? [21:03] Yunyun     Can we call it a draw? [21:06] Megumin     I don't mind. [21:08] Megumin     I'm not childish enough to be     competitive over games anymore. [21:12] Yunyun     Come to think of it, didn't we used to     compete to see who would grow faster? [21:16] Yunyun     If you think you're not childish anymore,     do you want to do that again? [21:20] Megumin     That's not what I mean when     I talk about being childish. [21:25] Megumin     After all, I'm... [21:30] Megumin     in the kind of relationship with Kazuma     here where we bathe together. [21:34] Kazuma     Hey! [21:35] Wiz     Oh, my! [21:39] Kazuma     Don't joke about that! [21:41] Kazuma     Is this the mouth?! [21:41] Kazuma     Is this the mouth trying to make     my reputation even worse?! [21:44] Yunyun     I-I'll... [21:46] Yunyun     I'll admit that I lost today! [21:51] Wiz     Come again! [21:53] Aqua     She's a lively girl. [21:54] Kazuma     You are, too. [21:58] Megumin     I win again! SIGN    Episode 3 SIGN    Peace for the Master of This Labyrinth! SIGN    Here is the progress report I said I would send. Mr. Kazuma seemed like a problem at first, but he's become a seasoned and formidable adventurer. Absolutely not the kind of person to sexually harass anyone or get into debt. My assessment of his character proves to be on point. Yes, I am a really capable goddess. I've even gained the respect of the construction bosses, so my daily wages have gone up. I think I can keep working it and my side jobs with the fake flowers and the milk cartons, at this rate. ...No, I don't just work part-time jobs! [23:31] Aqua     Here is the progress report I said I would send. [23:33] Aqua     Mr. Kazuma seemed like a problem at first, [23:35] Aqua     but he's become a seasoned     and formidable adventurer. [23:39] Aqua     Absolutely not the kind— E3 - Peace for the Master of This Labyrinth! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] Aqua     Achoo! [00:03] Aqua     Cold... I'm so cold... [00:06] Aqua     Warm me up... Somebody warm me up... [00:12] Aqua     What's wrong with you?! [00:14] Kazuma     Don't you get it?! [00:15] Kazuma     Darkness went to deal with that lord     last night and never came back! [00:19] Kazuma     She's probably... [00:27] Kazuma     Megumin? [00:28] Kazuma     What's with the cat? [00:30] Megumin     I doubt she'll cause much trouble, so... [00:33] Kazuma     You want to keep her? [00:34] Megumin     Is that all right? [00:37] ---     Ow! [00:38] Aqua     Hey, why'd she only scratch me?! [00:41] Aqua     Unbelievable! [00:42] Aqua     Between the jet black fur     and the imperious attitude, [00:45] Aqua     I can sense some sort of malevolent aura! [00:48] Aqua     So, what do you call this demonic beast? [00:51] Megumin     Chomusuke. [00:54] Kazuma     What'd you— [00:54] Megumin     She's Chomusuke. [00:58] Megumin     Anyway, what were the two     of you making a fuss about? [01:01] Kazuma     How can you be so calm? [01:03] Kazuma     As we speak, Darkness might be... [01:04] Megumin     There may be unsavory rumors about that lord, [01:07] Megumin     but I doubt Darkness could easily be— [01:09] Kazuma     That's the problem with children! [01:10] Kazuma     You still don't understand     that deviant at all! [01:16] Darkness     You can do what you want with my body... [01:18] Kazuma     "But don't think you'll have     your way with my heart!" [01:21] Kazuma     She's sure to say something like that. [01:24] Megumin     Wh-Wh-What should we do?! [01:26] Megumin     Darkness is in grave danger! [01:27] Megumin     What should we do, Kazuma?! [01:29] Kazuma     It's too late. [01:30] Kazuma     Listen up. When she gets back, [01:32] Kazuma     just be as nice to her as you normally would. [01:35] Aqua     I-I get it! [01:36] Aqua     So we can't ask Darkness what it was     like to climb the stairs to adulthood! [01:42] Megumin     Darkness... Darkness, she's... [01:42] Sena     Satou Kazuma! [01:43] Sena     Is Satou Kazuma here?! SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Defeat the monsters in the vicinity of Axel [03:24] Aqua     No! [03:30] Kazuma     While they were trying to spring me, SIGN    Episode 2 A Friend for This Crimson Demon Girl! [03:32] Kazuma     Megumin had cast her explosion     magic all over the place. [03:35] Kazuma     Thanks to that, the Giant Toads that     had been hibernating woke up early. [03:36] (Aqua     Help! [03:39] Kazuma     So, we're here to clean up her mess, but... [03:41] Aqua     No! [03:43] Aqua     I don't wanna be toad food again! [03:46] Kazuma     The toads haven't slowed     down, despite the cold... [03:50] Kazuma     Aren't they a little too hardy? [03:51] Megumin     We will not be outdone! [03:54] Megumin     We must get much, much     stronger in order to survive [03:59] Megumin     in this cruel world. [04:00] Kazuma     I'll get you out— [04:01] Megumin     No, please, help Aqua first. [04:03] Megumin     It's cold outside, but it's quite     warm inside this toad. [04:08] Megumin     Having already cast my explosion magic, [04:11] Megumin     all I can do is slow this one down. [04:13] Kazuma     O-Okay, I'll leave you to it. [04:16] Sena     Is that a good idea?! [04:17] Aqua     Kazuma-san! [04:18] Aqua     I can't! I just can't! [04:20] Aqua     Hurry and do something! [04:24] Kazuma     Even with Darkness to act as     a sturdy wall for our party, [04:28] Kazuma     none of us had an effective ranged attack. [04:31] Kazuma     In light of that, I decided     to learn a new skill. [04:34] Kazuma     And it's called... [04:35] Kazuma     Snipe! [04:38] Kazuma     The Snipe skill has higher accuracy     the higher your luck stat is. [04:42] Kazuma     It's a perfect fit for me! [04:44] Aqua     Kazuma-san... [04:54] Aqua     Hey! That arrow almost messed     up the best part of my hair— [05:00] Kazuma     Aqua! [05:04] Kazuma     KONOSUBA! [05:10] Kazuma     My skill... My skill... [05:12] Sena     A-Are you people always like this? [05:15] Megumin     W-Wait a moment! [05:17] Megumin     The toads! [05:20] Kazuma     This is bad! Now there's not enough bai— [05:22] Kazuma     I mean, enough decoys to keep them occupied! [05:26] Kazuma     Aqua, you should still be     keeping them occupied! [05:28] Aqua     No way! You be the decoy this time! [05:30] Kazuma     Stupid! You don't have enough     attack power to beat these toads! [05:34] Kazuma     If we can beat even one of them,     that'd leave just two! [05:36] Kazuma     Then you and Sena-san can     keep them busy together! [05:39] Sena     I'm just here to supervise you all,     not to get dragged into— [05:47] Aqua     Kazuma, there's your chance! [05:49] Aqua     Hurry and get the toa— [05:51] Aqua     No! [05:54] Kazuma     You guys! [05:56] Megumin     Excuse me, but I think I'm     slowly being swallowed. [05:59] Megumin     Could you rescue me now, please? [06:03] Kazuma     Aw, damn it! [06:04] Kazuma     If only Darkness were here! [06:21] Kazuma     We're doomed! [06:23] Yunyun     Light of Saber! [06:43] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [06:45] Kazuma     I honestly don't want to touch them... [06:50] Kazuma     You should be able to walk now. [06:51] Kazuma     I don't know who you are, but thanks. [06:55] Yunyun     I-I wasn't trying to save you. [06:58] Yunyun     If my rival had been eaten by     a toad, I'd look ridiculous... [07:04] Kazuma     Rival? [07:08] Yunyun     I-It's been a long time, Megumin! [07:10] Yunyun     Today is the day we finally     settle our long-standing score! [07:14] Megumin     Who might you be, exactly? [07:16] Megumin     I mean, it's strange that     you never gave your name. [07:21] Megumin     This must be one of those "Hey, it's me!"     scams that Kazuma described before. [07:25] Yunyun     F-Fine, then! [07:27] Yunyun     It's embarrassing to do this     in front of strangers, but... [07:32] Yunyun     My name is Yunyun! [07:33] Yunyun     An arch wizard and master     of advanced magic! [07:37] Yunyun     She who will one day lead the Crimson Demons! [07:40] Megumin     Anyway, this is Yunyun. [07:42] Megumin     Daughter of the Crimson Demons' leader,     and my self-proclaimed rival. [07:46] Yunyun     So you did remember! [07:47] Kazuma     I see. Well, I'm one of her     adventuring friends, Kazuma. [07:51] Kazuma     Nice to meet you, Yunyun. [07:53] Yunyun     H-Huh? [07:54] Yunyun     You're not laughing at my name? [07:58] Kazuma     Well, y'know, in this world of ours, [07:59] Kazuma     there are some who have weird     names in the first place, [08:02] Kazuma     but still end up with disgraceful     nicknames like "Crazy Exploding Girl." [08:06] Megumin     You mean me? You're talking     about me, aren't you?! [08:09] Megumin     How did that name attach itself to me     and I'm only now hearing about it?! [08:13] Yunyun     I-Impressive, Megumin.     You've found good allies! [08:15] Kazuma     Cut it out! Don't touch me! [08:17] Yunyun     As befits my rival! [08:19] Yunyun     I'll defeat you and become     first among the Crimson Demons! [08:23] Yunyun     Now, Megumin, I challenge you to a duel! [08:26] Megumin     I'd rather not. It's too cold. [08:29] Yunyun     Why?! [08:30] Yunyun     Please, fight me! [08:33] Megumin     No, thank you. [08:34] Yunyun     Please! [08:35] Yunyun     One fight! Just once! [08:36] Sena     You somehow managed today, [08:37] Megumin     No. [08:38] Yunyun     Then when can we have a duel?! [08:38] Sena     but I'm not fully convinced this     wasn't just an act to deceive me. [08:41] Megumin     How should I know? [08:41] Yunyun     But why?! Megumin! [08:43] Sena     Excuse me. [08:44] Aqua     Well, I'll make arrangements for the     guild to haul the toad meat in. [08:44] Megumin     I said no. [08:45] Yunyun     Come on, Megumin! Just one little duel! [08:48] Megumin     Not happening. [08:49] Kazuma     I don't really appreciate being left     on my own with these two... [08:50] Yunyun     Aw, come on, Megumin! [08:55] Megumin     Very well, then. [08:58] Megumin     I can no longer use my magic today, [09:00] Megumin     so let's make it a contest in the martial arts     that you're supposed to be skilled at. [09:04] Yunyun     Really? [09:05] Yunyun     I mean, you barely attended     martial arts class at the academy... [09:10] Kazuma     Stare. [09:10] Yunyun     And every lunch period,     you'd show up like clockwork, [09:13] Kazuma     Stare... [09:14] Yunyun     challenge me to a duel,     and then steal my lunch... [09:16] Kazuma     Stare... [09:19] Kazuma     Girl... [09:20] Megumin     It was a matter of life and death for me. [09:22] Megumin     Due to personal circumstances, her lunches     were the only thing keeping me alive. [09:26] Yunyun     All right, then that will be how we fight! [09:29] Kazuma     Seriously? [09:30] Megumin     Very well. [09:32] Megumin     Now then, come at me as you will! [09:40] Kazuma     Judging from their builds, it looks     like Yunyun's gonna win this. [09:43] Kazuma     I can't even begin to imagine Megumin     being any good at unarmed combat. [09:51] Yunyun     M-Megumin... [09:53] Yunyun     Um, your body's still kind of shiny... [09:58] Megumin     That's right. [09:59] Megumin     What you see clinging to every inch of me     are the fluids from inside a toad's stomach. [10:04] Megumin     Come! The moment you get close to me, [10:07] Megumin     I'll grab you with both arms [10:08] Megumin     and put you in a submission hold! [10:11] Yunyun     N-No way! [10:13] Yunyun     You're trying to make me lose my will     to fight so I'll give up, aren't you? [10:17] Yunyun     Right? [10:20] Megumin     We're friends, aren't we? [10:23] Megumin     And I believe friendship means     sharing in each other's suffering. [10:27] Yunyun     No! [10:28] Megumin     C'mon. C'mon. C'mon. [10:31] Megumin     C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! [10:31] Yunyun     I give up! I'll give up! [10:33] Yunyun     Stay away from me! [10:34] Megumin     C'mon! [10:37] Yunyun     I give up! I already gave up! [10:41] Megumin     I win again! [10:45] Darkness     S-Stop it! [10:47] Darkness     Damn you! [10:49] Darkness     K-Kill— [10:51] Kazuma     She actually ran off crying. [10:54] Megumin     Kazuma. [10:55] Megumin     The spoils of war. [10:56] Megumin     Sell it to start making your payments. [10:59] Kazuma     Are you sure? [11:01] Megumin     It is of no use to a grand sorceress     such as myself, who operates beyond [11:04] Megumin     the bounds of society. [11:07] Kazuma     Do you ever think about learning     skills other than explosion ma— [11:09] Megumin     Never. [11:10] Kazuma     Yeah, I figured. [11:14] Megumin     What is it? [11:15] Kazuma     I was just thinking that you're     prettier than that other girl. [11:20] Duck Girl     Wait! [11:22] Megumin     Well, thank you very much! [11:24] Megumin     As thanks, let me give you a big hug! [11:26] Kazuma     S-Stay away from me! [11:28] Megumin     You should be happier. [11:30] Megumin     Some people would pay money to     have a slimy girl all over them. [11:36] Kazuma     You reek of toads! [11:40] Kazuma     I never thought an embrace     could be so unpleasant... [11:44] Megumin     Chomusuke! [11:45] Megumin     Were you a good— [11:50] Kazuma     Well, I'm off to the bath. [11:53] Kazuma     What is it? [11:54] Megumin     Surely you've heard of "ladies first"? [11:57] Kazuma     I yearn for true gender equality. [12:00] Kazuma     I have no patience for one who talks about     female privilege when it suits them, [12:03] Kazuma     and then complains about someone     "not being a man" when it's convenient! [12:13] Kazuma     Besides, if you want to be treated like     a lady, you should grow into one first! [12:18] Megumin     You're treating me like a     child again, aren't you?! [12:20] Megumin     For the record, I'm only     three years younger than you! [12:23] Kazuma     Yet you seem like just a kid to me,     so you're wasting your time! [12:27] Megumin     This guy's actually taking his clothes off! [12:29] Kazuma     I'm not backing down on this one! [12:30] Kazuma     No matter what! Get it?! [12:32] Kazuma     If you do, then get out of here already! [12:35] Megumin     I see. So you don't really     see me as a woman, then. [12:39] Megumin     In that case, I may as well join you. [12:42] Kazuma     True. Getting in together     will solve both our problems. [12:45] Megumin     Wha?! [12:46] Megumin     E-Excuse me, doesn't this usually     call for a response like, [12:48] Megumin     "D-Dummy! I could never do that!" [12:50] Megumin     And then bashfully allowing     me to use the bath first? [12:53] Kazuma     Just so you know, I'm not     the type to go for clichés. [12:57] Kazuma     Say, for instance, you were in love with me, [12:59] Kazuma     and some other girl was making moves on me. [13:02] Kazuma     If you were to, out of jealousy,     inflict some unjust violence on me, [13:05] Kazuma     I would fight back with no hesitation. [13:07] Kazuma     I'm a guy who does what he has to do! [13:09] Kazuma     You'd do well to remember that! [13:13] Megumin     I get the feeling your application of that     saying leaves something to be desired, [13:17] Megumin     but all right, fine. [13:19] Kazuma     So after provoking me like that,     you're not gonna join me? [13:21] Kazuma     I'm surprised at your lack of resolve. [13:23] Megumin     How dare you?! [13:24] Megumin     You think I lack resolve?! [13:26] Megumin     Yep. [13:26] Megumin     Them's fighting words! Fine, I'll get in! [13:28] Megumin     It's just a bath! I can do that! [13:29] Megumin     Ouch! [13:30] Megumin     Now, stop skulking behind that towel,     and and let's get in the bath! [13:31] Megumin     Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?! [13:33] ---     Stop, you idiot! [13:35] Kazuma     Don't pull on it, you perv! Show a little shame! [13:37] Megumi     Out with it! [13:44] Kazuma     Hey. [13:45] Megumin     Yes? [13:46] Kazuma     I thought cats didn't like baths. [13:49] Megumin     She likes to stay clean. [13:52] Kazuma     Hey... [13:53] Megumin     Yes? [13:54] Kazuma     Is that other girl gonna be okay? [13:56] Megumin     I'm sure I'll see her again. [13:58] Megumin     She chases after me,     claiming to be my rival, after all. [14:02] Kazuma     She's the same age as you, right? [14:04] Megumin     Why don't you just come out and say what you     were thinking when you looked at me just now? [14:09] Kazuma     I was thinking how everybody     matures at their own pace— [14:11] Megumin     Darkness blacker than black     and darker than dark... [14:12] Kazuma     Hey, cut that out! [14:13] Kazuma     It's bad for my heart! [14:15] Megumin     I'm sure that in another year or two, [14:17] Megumin     I'll have a body that'll have     Yunyun crying for forgiveness... [14:22] Megumin     I would appreciate it if you'd     stop staring so intently! [14:27] Kazuma     Why are we in the bath together? [14:30] Megumin     Why bring that up now? [14:31] Megumin     Why would you suddenly come to your senses?! [14:35] Kazuma     Well, I mean, anyone seeing     this would probably react— [14:39] Aqua     I'm back! [14:41] Aqua     Hey, I got the cash for the toad meat! [14:45] Kazuma     Is it locked?! [14:46] Kazuma     Did you lock the door to the bath?! [14:48] Megumin     I-I didn't! [14:49] Megumin     Wh-Wh-What do we do?! [14:51] Aqua     Kazuma? Megumin? I'm back! [14:55] Aqua     It'd be nice if someone would say something! [14:58] Aqua     Huh? The bath? [15:00] Kazuma     Freeze! [15:05] Kazuma     Either I'm doomed, or my magic holds out! [15:06] Aqua     Hey! [15:07] Aqua     Anyone there? [15:09] Kazuma     Hold out, magic power of mine! [15:12] Kazuma     If Aqua sees us, it'll mean getting     called "Pedo-NEET" and "Lolimaniac" [15:15] Kazuma     and other disgraceful nicknames! [15:21] Kazuma     I don't even have the strength to stand. [15:25] Aqua     Megumin, when you get out of     the bath, let's have lunch. [15:29] Aqua     Actually, get out of there already. [15:30] Aqua     I'm all slimy myself, y'know! [15:38] Megumin     That was a close one. If things     had gone on much longer... [15:40] Kazuma     I almost got branded a lolicon. [15:44] Kazuma     Hey, Megumin. [15:45] Kazuma     Sorry to ask, but I can't move,     so could you dry me off? [15:49] Megumin     Hey. [15:50] Megumin     Why don't you explain exactly why getting     into the bath with me makes you a lolicon? [15:57] Kazuma     Hey, wait, stop it! [15:58] Kazuma     What are you trying to do?!     You'll be branded a female pervert! [16:00] Kazuma     Hey, A-Aqua! [16:01] Kazuma     Aqua! The little girl is bullying me! [16:09] Aqua     Pedo-NEET. SIGN    12 Giant Toads Killed SIGN    Today's Results [16:18] Kazuma     The day after receiving     my disgraceful title, [16:20] Kazuma     we dropped by Wiz's shop to figure     out what to do about my debt. [16:25] Kazuma     Hey! [16:26] Kazuma     I'm looking to sell this. [16:30] Wiz     She's here to— [16:30] Yunyun     M-My name is Yunyun! [16:33] Yunyun     What a coincidence! [16:35] Yunyun     What a quirk of fate! [16:36] Yunyun     To think that we would     have an encounter here! [16:38] Yunyun     You truly are my lifelong rival! [16:41] Wiz     She heard that you all     visit my store regularly [16:44] Wiz     and has been waiting all morning. [16:45] Yunyun     Wh-What are you saying, shopkeep?! [16:48] Yunyun     I just came by to buy some magic items... [16:50] Yunyun     U-Um, I'd like this! [16:52] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [16:55] Kazuma     I see. [16:56] Kazuma     You could've just come by the     mansion instead of doing all this. [17:00] Yunyun     But I can't just visit someone's     home unannounced... [17:03] Megumin     It's always half-measures with you. [17:05] Megumin     That's why you can't make friends. [17:06] Aqua     Is that true? [17:08] Megumin     Yunyun is the rare Crimson Demon     who's embarrassed by her name. [17:11] Megumin     She would usually eat lunch     alone at the academy. [17:14] Wiz     Now, now. [17:14] Megumin     And whenever I would cross her line of sight, [17:17] Megumin     she'd gleefully challenge me over and over. [17:20] Yunyun     I-It wasn't that bad! [17:22] Yunyun     I did have some friends. [17:24] Megumin     I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. [17:26] Megumin     You had friends, Yunyun? [17:28] Yunyun     Of course! Even I had friends! [17:31] Yunyun     There was Funifura-san and Dodonko-san, [17:33] Yunyun     who would always say, "We're friends, right?"     and I would treat them to lunch... [17:37] Kazuma     Hey, stop! [17:38] Kazuma     I don't want to hear any more! [17:40] Megumin     Well, since I can only use explosion magic, [17:43] Megumin     I would rather avoid magic duels. [17:46] Yunyun     Would you learn some other magic already? [17:48] Yunyun     You're bound to have unused     skill points, right? [17:51] Megumin     Yes, I do. [17:53] Megumin     And I intend to put them all into     "Explosion Magic Power Boost" [17:56] Megumin     and "High-Speed Casting." [17:58] Yunyun     Stupid! Why are you so obsessed     with explosion magic?! [18:01] Kazuma     That's right, you tell her! [18:03] Yunyun     You've always been this way, Megumin! [18:03] Aqua     All this talk of duels...     For classmates, you guys sure are vicious. [18:06] Megumin     Your lack of appreciation for explosion     magic makes you the crazy one. [18:09] Aqua     Hey, hey. [18:10] Aqua     Maybe this would be good? [18:12] Aqua     "The friendship crystal." [18:14] Wiz     Oh, only a seasoned magic user     can use that effectively. [18:19] Yunyun     If you can use it well, can you make friends? [18:22] Wiz     Well, yes. [18:24] Wiz     I know! Why not try it? [18:26] Megumin     I hardly see the need to make friends... [18:29] Yunyun     Have you lost your nerve, Megumin? [18:32] Yunyun     In other words, [18:33] Yunyun     being able to use this more effectively     is proof of greater spell casting skill! [18:37] Yunyun     I challenge you, Megumin! [18:39] Megumin     If you insist, then I will demonstrate for you [18:42] Megumin     the power of a true magic user! [18:45] Yunyun     Today is the day we settle this score! [18:52] Wiz     Just what I'd expect from Crimson Demons. [18:54] Yunyun     Now, crystal, demonstrate your power! [18:57] Wiz     The crystal's power is activating! [19:07] Wiz     It's never projected this much before! [19:10] Wiz     They both have incredible magic! [19:12] Kazuma     What... is this?! [19:22] Kazuma     Is she gathering bread crusts? [19:25] Aqua     Wait a minute... [19:31] (Flashback) Yunyun     Happy birthday! [19:34] Aqua     Is she... by herself? [19:36] (Flashback) Farmer     Dang it! [19:39] (Flashback) Komekko     Onee-chan, you're amazing! [19:47] (Flashback) Yunyun     Not bad! But how about this?! [19:52] (Flashback) Komekko     You're so great! [20:04] (Flashback) Komekko     Onee-chan, this is great! [20:07] (Flashback) Yunyun     I wouldn't even mind a devil     for a friend at this point... [20:10] Kazuma     She's working odd jobs to take     her "friends" out to eat?! [20:14] Aqua     Wait, why is she... [20:16] Aqua     eating a bug? [20:19] Megumin     What is this?! [20:21] Yunyun     Shopkeep, you said this crystal     would create friendship, right?! [20:23] Wiz     This is a valued item that deepens     feelings of friendship and love [20:30] Wiz     by exposing past embarrassment... actually... [20:34] Yunyun     Megumin! Hey, Megumin! [20:36] Yunyun     Is this going to make us friends?! [20:45] Yunyun     KONOSUBA! [20:47] Wiz     I'll just put that on your tab, Kazuma-san. [20:50] Kazuma     Hang on. Megumin was the one who broke it. [20:52] Megumin     Yunyun was the one who wanted to use it. [20:55] Megumin     She'll pay. [20:56] Yunyun     My duel... I finally got her to duel, and... [20:59] Megumin     How long are you going to mope? [21:01] Yunyun     But how do we know who won? [21:03] Yunyun     Can we call it a draw? [21:06] Megumin     I don't mind. [21:08] Megumin     I'm not childish enough to be     competitive over games anymore. [21:12] Yunyun     Come to think of it, didn't we used to     compete to see who would grow faster? [21:16] Yunyun     If you think you're not childish anymore,     do you want to do that again? [21:20] Megumin     That's not what I mean when     I talk about being childish. [21:25] Megumin     After all, I'm... [21:30] Megumin     in the kind of relationship with Kazuma     here where we bathe together. [21:34] Kazuma     Hey! [21:35] Wiz     Oh, my! [21:39] Kazuma     Don't joke about that! [21:41] Kazuma     Is this the mouth?! [21:41] Kazuma     Is this the mouth trying to make     my reputation even worse?! [21:44] Yunyun     I-I'll... [21:46] Yunyun     I'll admit that I lost today! [21:51] Wiz     Come again! [21:53] Aqua     She's a lively girl. [21:54] Kazuma     You are, too. [21:58] Megumin     I win again! SIGN    Episode 3 SIGN    Peace for the Master of This Labyrinth! SIGN    Here is the progress report I said I would send. Mr. Kazuma seemed like a problem at first, but he's become a seasoned and formidable adventurer. Absolutely not the kind of person to sexually harass anyone or get into debt. My assessment of his character proves to be on point. Yes, I am a really capable goddess. I've even gained the respect of the construction bosses, so my daily wages have gone up. I think I can keep working it and my side jobs with the fake flowers and the milk cartons, at this rate. ...No, I don't just work part-time jobs! [23:31] Aqua     Here is the progress report I said I would send. [23:33] Aqua     Mr. Kazuma seemed like a problem at first, [23:35] Aqua     but he's become a seasoned     and formidable adventurer. [23:39] Aqua     Absolutely not the kind— E4 - A Betrothed for This Noble Daughter! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] A     Achoo! [00:02] K     My, oh my, are you catching     a cold? Take care, now. [00:06] A     You're sounding pretty nasal     yourself, Kazuma-san. [00:08] A     I'll hurry and fix this tracksuit for you. [00:11] K     You're the one who threw it     in the fireplace, though. [00:17] K     My, oh my, feeling hungry? [00:20] A     Actually, I guess I haven't     eaten breakfast yet. [00:23] K     You're the one who got carried away and     spent all our money on booze, though. [00:31] A     But... everyone was having     so much fun partying! [00:36] A     That looks like the fancy bubbly     I had hidden under my bed... [00:41] K     I wonder if the pawn shop's open... [00:43] M     Come here, Chomusuke. [00:45] A     Give it back! That's my last bottle! [00:48] A     It's my last hope! [00:50] K     I'm gonna go trade it for cash right now! [00:52] K     And if I can't, I'll just     drink it all right here! [00:54] K     Maybe that would warm me up a little! [00:56] A     Don't! I can't fall asleep if     I'm not holding that bottle! [01:00] K     You're making demands like that     after burning my tracksuit?! [01:03] K     You ought to go sell that raiment, too! [01:06] A     What are you saying?! [01:07] A     This raiment is part of my     identity as a goddess! [01:10] A     There's no way I can sell it! [01:12] A     Are you stupid? Why are you being so stupid?! [01:15] K     Steal! [01:19] A     Kazuma-sama! [01:21] A     I'm sorry for getting carried     away, so please stop! [01:23] K     Shut up! [01:25] K     We haven't repaid any of our debt     and Darkness still isn't back! [01:28] K     You should be more concerned about that! [01:30] D     Trouble, Kazuma! Major trouble! [01:37] Everyone     Who are you? SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Episode 4 A Betrothed for This Noble Daughter! [03:13] K     Who are you? [03:15] K     Huh? She's... glad? [03:17] D     Kazuma! Can't you save this     kind of play for later?! [03:17] (K     Yes? [03:20] (K     Wait... Is that you, Darkness? [03:22] (K     We were so worried! [03:24] A     Darkness! [03:26] A     Kazuma... Kazuma, he... [03:28] A     He stripped me against my will [03:29] A     and wants to sell my most intimate possession! [03:32] D     Wha?! [03:33] K     Hey! Word choice! [03:34] M     Welcome back, Darkness. [03:36] D     Oh, Megumin. It's good to be back. [03:39] D     That cat... [03:40] M     I won't ask what happened. [03:42] M     First, take a nice, long bath... [03:45] M     and let your body and soul recover... [03:48] D     Uh, what are you talking about? [03:50] D     I'm more curious about     what Aqua was describing... [03:56] A     No doubt about it.     This is an expensive dress. [04:00] K     You must've been through so much... [04:02] D     Where are you getting your weird ideas?! [04:04] D     Do you think the lord had his     way with me or something? [04:07] K     We're just glad you're back. [04:09] K     Go on, take that warm bath     and cry your heart out. [04:13] D     You're wrong! He didn't have the     guts to demand that much from me! [04:18] D     Look at this! This is the problem! [04:19] K     What is it? [04:21] K     Wow, what a handsome guy! [04:23] K     Pisses me off. [04:24] D     What are you doing?! [04:26] K     My hands moved on their own... [04:31] K     So the hot guy is the lord's son, huh? [04:34] D     In exchange for the lenience     you received, he demanded [04:37] D     an arranged marriage meeting with his son. [04:39] D     The reason I was away for so long [04:41] D     is because I was trying to     figure out a way to prevent it. [04:45] D     My father doesn't hold Aldarp in high regard, [04:48] D     but he thinks highly of his son. [04:51] D     He's the one most excited about the idea. [04:54] D     Please! Come with me, [04:56] D     and help me convince my father! [04:59] A     Here you go. [05:01] A     How about it? Good as new, right? [05:02] K     How is it that you're so versatile     when it comes to stuff like this? [05:07] K     It's true... [05:08] K     If we don't do something, our valuable     crusader is going to be married off. [05:12] K     Our valued... [05:14] D     Thank you, Aqua. [05:16] K     She'll be... married? [05:16] (D     It's getting to the point where     I'm having trouble refusing. [05:18] K     Which means our crusader who can't     land any hits will be leaving our party? [05:19] (A     Oh, it's fine! Something like this     is a piece of cake for a goddess! [05:24] (A     No one would be able to     tell it's not the original! [05:24] K     It's not that I'm trying to subtly     kick her out of the party... [05:27] A     Literally godly skills!     You can praise me some more— [05:29] M     Kazuma? [05:33] K     That's it! [05:38] K     I'm Kazuma. [05:41] D     What do you mean, I should     accept the arranged marriage?! [05:43] M     Don't you care if Darkness can't     adventure with us anymore?! [05:47] K     Look, refusing the arrangement [05:49] K     is just going to make that     lord guy even less reasonable! [05:53] M     That's true... [05:54] K     In that case, you have to accept     the arrangement, but then ruin it! [05:56] D     Ru— [05:57] K     And do it without hurting your family's name. [06:00] D     That's it! Let's do that! [06:02] D     If it works, I won't have to slap my father silly [06:04] D     every time he brings up     the subject of marriage! [06:08] K     I feel bad for your old man... [06:10] Sena     Satou Kazuma! [06:12] Sena     Is Satou Kazuma here?! [06:16] K     Wh-What is it this time?! [06:18] Sena     There are strange monsters     surrounding the town. [06:21] Sena     Do you know anything about that? [06:22] ---     Huh? [06:23] Sena     You will accompany us at once. [06:26] M     We have to refuse. [06:27] M     One of our most precious comrades     is facing a grave crisis! [06:31] M     We cannot afford to ignore it! [06:35] D     Megumin... [06:36] K     Hey, calm down! [06:38] K     Hang on... [06:40] K     Aqua I can manage, [06:41] K     but Megumin is weirdly smart     about certain things. [06:44] K     Better to get her out of the way. [06:47] K     Megumin... [06:49] K     Please, go. [06:51] K     If there's a large number of monsters, [06:53] K     that's a job for your explosion magic. [06:55] K     It's okay. You can leave     Darkness to Aqua and me. [06:59] M     But... [07:02] K     You're the only one who can do this. [07:06] M     I'm the only one?! [07:08] K     We're counting on you,     ultimate arch wizard! [07:11] M     I will demonstrate my power! [07:17] M     KONOSUBA! [07:21] Dad     Y-You're certain, then, Lalatina? [07:24] D     I am, Father. [07:26] D     I, Lalatina, have decided to attend the     meeting for this arranged marriage. [07:31] Dad     And these two are...? [07:32] D     My adventuring friends. [07:35] D     They will accompany me at the meeting     as a temporary butler and maid. [07:43] Maids     How does it fit? [07:45] K     I think it's okay. [07:53] K     Hey, that looks good on you. [07:55] K     You look like a proper servant! [07:57] A     I think the "wannabe-butler who's trying     too hard" look suits you too, Kazuma. [08:01] K     Oh, that was so funny. [08:04] K     If we weren't in a noble's mansion, [08:06] K     I would've had to let you have it. [08:09] K     Right, Miss Lalatina? [08:10] D     D-Don't call me "Miss Lalatina"! [08:14] K     Her father ended up asking me for help. [08:17] K     He requested I ensure his daughter     wouldn't cause an incident. [08:23] K     And if the meeting goes     well, he'll reward me! [08:28] K     I can't help but feel motivated. [08:31] D     You know what to do, right?     I'm counting on you. [08:38] Dad     I'm glad you decided to attend the meeting. [08:42] Dad     I want you to find happiness, Lalatina. [08:45] D     Please, Father. [08:47] D     I simply said that I'd consider     the arranged marriage. [08:51] Dad     What? [08:53] D     And after considering it, [08:55] D     I've decided that it's still too     soon for me to get married. [08:58] D     It's too late now! [09:00] D     I agreed to meet with him,     but I never said I would marry him! [09:04] D     I'll destroy it... [09:05] D     I'll destroy this stupid meeting! [09:09] Dad     L-Lalatina! [09:11] K     Please refrain from using such vulgar language. [09:15] K     You'll give your partner a bad impression. [09:17] D     You rat! Are you betraying me?! [09:18] D     I am currently serving as a temporary     butler for the Dustiness family. [09:22] D     My wish is for your happiness, milady. [09:25] Dad     K-Kazuma-kun! [09:27] D     Damn you, Kazuma! [09:37] Dad     Sir Walther! [09:39] D     So you've come... [09:40] D     You're the one they intend for me to marry? [09:43] D     I am Dustiness Ford Lalatina! [09:45] D     You can call me Mistress Dus— [09:47] K     Milady! Please watch your step! [09:50] D     I thought you were going to help me! [09:52] K     Did you forget the part about not     besmirching your family's name? [09:56] D     If I have a bad reputation,     fewer people will consider marrying me, [09:59] D     and I can continue to focus on adventuring! [10:02] D     I'm even prepared to be disinherited! [10:04] D     Even then, I will survive as best I can [10:05] D     and continue accepting     quests I'm unqualified for, [10:08] D     until I am overwhelmed and captured     by the Devil King's army, [10:11] D     held down by them... [10:12] (K     That doesn't sound like the     Devil King. Sounds like a perv. [10:13] D     That's the kind of life I want! [10:15] K     You finally came out and admitted it... [10:18] D     Besides, he's far from my type of man. [10:22] D     First, he seems to be of     absolutely decent character. [10:24] D     He never angers toward anyone. [10:26] D     He works hard [10:27] D     and was strong enough to achieve     knighthood at the earliest age on record. [10:30] A     That sounds pretty good to me. [10:32] D     How?! [10:33] D     If you're a noble, you should act like one, [10:35] D     with a vulgar grin on your face at all times! [10:38] D     What exactly is that pure,     focused gaze of his?! [10:41] D     I want something more... [10:42] D     Like what Kazuma always does, [10:44] D     when he looks at me as if he's     licking me all over with his gaze! [10:47] K     I-I-I do not look at you that way! [10:49] D     He never angers?! [10:51] D     What a moron! [10:52] D     Using a maid's mistakes to subject     her to all kinds of punishment [10:55] D     is what nobles are supposed to do! [10:57] D     Besides, the type I like is [10:59] D     the polar opposite of such a competent man! [11:02] D     He's not particularly attractive and     can be either scrawny or fat. [11:06] D     He needs to be weak-willed enough     that, despite my love for him, [11:09] D     he's easily strung along by     another woman's affection. [11:11] D     Someone who's in rut all year round—     the more perverse, the better! [11:15] D     A failure at life, who tries to     take the easiest route possible! [11:19] D     And if he's in debt, that'd be even better! [11:21] D     Then he could drink all day and never work, [11:23] D     and complain that it's     society's fault he's a loser! [11:26] D     He'd throw an empty bottle     at me while saying... [11:29] D     "Hey, Darkness. [11:30] D     Why don't you use that nasty body     of yours to earn us some cash?" [11:37] K     Damn it all! This girl is completely hopeless! [11:42] B     Well, let me introduce myself. [11:44] B     I am Alexei Barnes Walther. [11:47] D     I am Dustiness Ford Lalatina. [11:51] D     I'll spare you the specific     details of my family. [11:53] D     Telling them to an upstart noble's son [11:55] D     wouldn't do any— [11:57] B     Is something wrong? [11:59] D     N-Nothing. It's just, seeing     your face made me feel si— [12:03] D     Eee! [12:06] K     It seems meeting you has made milady     a bit over-excited, Walther-sama. [12:12] B     Actually, she does seem quite flushed... [12:14] B     I must say, I'm embarrassed. [12:17] K     Hey, milady. [12:18] K     Mouth off any more and you're     gonna get it even colder, got it? [12:22] D     I-I consider it a reward. [12:24] K     The daughter of this household     never breaks character. [12:29] Dad     I suppose I might be in the way here. [12:31] Dad     Why don't you two go for a walk in the garden? [12:45] K     What was that?! Awesome!     I should have her teach me later! [12:48] B     Do you have any hobbies? [12:49] D     I enjoy a bit of goblin hunting— [12:53] B     You certainly seem to get along well. [12:56] K     Did I overdo it? [12:58] ---     Hee-hee. [12:58] K     Hee-hee? [12:59] D     Yes, this butler accompanies me at all times. [13:03] D     We take our meals and baths together... [13:05] D     A-And of course, in bed at night... [13:10] K     Where exactly is this     pervert's shame threshold? [13:14] D     Enough! I can't put up     with this any longer! [13:20] D     Now, Walther, was it? [13:23] D     You'll accompany me to     the training hall, now! [13:25] D     I'll test your mettle there! [13:28] K     Hey! Darkness... [13:31] D     See?! [13:32] D     If you're a noble, [13:33] D     you should learn to maintain a     lascivious gaze, like Kazuma here! [13:37] B     Miss Lalatina, I am a knight. [13:40] B     I could never raise my sword to a woman. [13:42] D     You spineless wretch... [13:44] D     Well, Kazuma over here claims to     be an advocate of gender equality, [13:48] D     and then boasts about his     willingness to dropkick women! [13:54] B     To be honest, I came here to     turn down the arranged marriage. [13:59] B     But after seeing you,     I've changed my mind. [14:02] B     You speak frankly, but you     still have a charming side. [14:06] B     It's refreshing how you don't mince words, [14:08] B     and the way you treat your     servant as an equal... [14:13] B     I've taken an interest in you. [14:15] B     Isn't this enough?! Why won't you give up?! [14:22] D     What's wrong?! [14:25] D     Don't hold back! Keep it coming! [14:28] D     Show me the strength of your resolve! [14:31] K     This entire time, Darkness's     sword hasn't hit anything, [14:34] K     with Walther having the clear     advantage... and yet... [14:40] B     I concede. [14:42] B     I may have greater skill, but your     strength of will was greater. [14:46] B     I cannot strike you any more. [14:50] B     You are a truly strong person. [14:53] K     It feels like he's given in [14:54] K     after Darkness demonstrated     how firm her resolve is... [14:57] K     But knowing how her head works,     I just can't be impressed. [15:01] D     You spineless fool! [15:02] D     Fine, come on, Kazuma! [15:03] D     Demonstrate your ruthlessness     and depth of depravity to Walther! [15:07] K     What the heck is she saying? [15:10] B     I'd actually like to see [15:11] B     the kind of fighting a man who's earned     Miss Lalatina's trust would display. [15:16] K     And here's Walther, making things worse. [15:19] K     Well, the arranged marriage is off anyway... [15:21] K     Besides, I doubt you'd spread any     bad rumors about milady here. [15:26] D     Yes! That's it, Kazuma! [15:27] D     I've actually been waiting     to face off against you! [15:30] D     Now, give me everything you have— [15:31] K     Create Water! [15:37] K     Is something wrong? [15:38] B     I didn't expect you to use     magic in a duel of swords... [15:41] K     Is that how it works? [15:46] A     What a creep. [15:47] A     It's clear Kazuma-san is unrivaled     at the art of sexual harassment. [15:51] A     Such a creep. [15:52] K     I wasn't trying to— [15:53] D     See, Walther?! [15:54] D     You need to pay close attention     to how he does this sort of thing! [15:57] K     Oh, damn it! [15:59] K     You want everything I have?!     Then here it comes! [16:02] K     Freeze! [16:05] B     H-He's a demon! [16:06] B     Not only does he douse her     with water in winter, [16:08] B     but then he uses ice magic?! [16:10] A     Well, he earned names like "Crapuma"     and "Kazutrash" for a reason. [16:17] D     This total lack of mercy! [16:19] D     Th-This... is so good! [16:24] K     Whoa, whoa, whoa! [16:26] A     That's it, Darkness! [16:28] A     Puny Kazuma has no chance     against you in a grappling match! [16:31] K     I am so gonna sell off     that raiment of hers later! [16:35] D     You think you can overpower     me?! How insulting! [16:38] D     The difference in strength between a crusader     like me and an adventurer like you is— [16:44] K     You should know I wouldn't fight fair! [16:47] K     We've known each other long     enough! Figure it out! [16:49] K     Ow! [16:54] D     D-Drain Touch, eh? [16:56] D     But before you can drain my stamina, [16:59] D     I'll break your arms! [17:02] K     G-Go ahead and try— Ow, ow, ow, ow! [17:06] K     This is bad... I keep draining, but     this workhorse isn't slowing down! [17:10] K     H-Hey... How about a little wager? [17:13] K     The loser has to do any     one thing the winner says. [17:18] D     Very well! When I win,     I'll have you kneel before me! [17:22] K     Here's my chance! [17:23] K     All right, then, it's a promise. [17:25] K     And when I win, you can cry and     beg, but I'm not gonna stop! [17:28] D     Wh-What are you going to do? [17:30] K     Something that'll have you crying     and begging for forgiveness! [17:34] K     I can already picture you desperately     begging me for mercy... [17:38] K     I'll make you say, "Please stop!     Please forgive me!" [17:41] K     Oh, don't get ahead of me, you greedy girl! [17:44] K     Because what I have in mind is way     crazier than whatever you're thinking! [17:48] D     Wha— S-Stop it! [17:52] D     I-I want to resist, but the Drain     Touch is sapping my strength... [17:55] K     I'm pretty sure she's     just loosening her grip. [18:02] D     At this rate, I will lose... [18:02] B     Amazing... [18:04] K     I'm gonna drain your stamina     until you pass out! [18:08] K     I've got something crazy     for you when you wake up! [18:11] K     Look forward to it! [18:14] D     No matter how you humiliate     me, my heart will nev— [18:19] D     Crazy? [18:21] D     Something crazy... [18:23] D     S-Something... crazy... [18:26] D     Something crazy?! [18:28] (Flashback) D     Go on, take that warm bath     and cry your heart out. [18:35] D     K-K-K-Kazuma! [18:36] D     Wh-What were you planning to do     with my leftover bathwater?! [18:41] D     Sh... Sho... [18:43] D     Shomefing cwazy! [18:50] K     I-I win! [18:53] B     I see why they call you "Kazutrash"! [18:55] K     How rude! [18:56] Dad     I just came by with something to... drink... [19:14] A     They did it. [19:16] Dad     Okay, execute them. [19:17] Guys     No! You've got it all wrong! [19:19] Guys     KONOSUBA. [19:21] Dad     My daughter has always been a     bit awkward around people... [19:25] Dad     Even after becoming a crusader,     she was still alone. [19:28] Dad     Every day, she'd drop by Eris-sama's church, [19:30] Dad     praying for friends to adventure with... [19:34] Dad     And then, one day, she finally had one. [19:36] Dad     She was so happy when she returned and     told me about the thief girl she had met. [19:40] Dad     Her mother died when she was young,     so I may have spoiled her a bit... [19:44] Dad     But I also tried to let her have her freedom. [19:47] Dad     Maybe that wasn't for the best... [19:50] K     Nah, I think that's her, not you. [19:53] B     Miss Lalatina is a wonderful woman. [19:56] B     If it weren't for Kazuma-kun,     I'd sincerely want to marry her myself. [20:00] K     Sorry, but I'm not sure     what you're trying to say. [20:03] B     I think you can make Miss Lalatina     happier than I could. [20:07] K     Hey, you wanna step outside? [20:08] K     I don't care if you're a lord's son! [20:10] A     Kazuma-san, cut it out!     You're gonna get me executed, too! [20:17] Dad     Kazuma-kun, please continue     to look after my daughter. [20:22] Dad     Make sure she doesn't     do anything too foolish. [20:27] Dad     Please. [20:28] K     Uh... Well... Sure. [20:35] Dad     Oh, you're awake. [20:40] D     These clothes... Is it already over? [20:43] D     Did you do something foul to me     while I was unconscious?! [20:45] K     I did not! I haven't done anything yet! [20:48] K     While you were asleep,     things got kinda serious! [20:54] ---     Hee-hee. [20:55] K     Hee-hee? [20:57] D     Father, Walther-sama... [21:00] D     Please, forget about this     arranged marriage meeting. [21:03] D     I've been keeping it a secret, but... [21:05] D     Kazuma's child is growing inside me... [21:08] K     Hey! How the hell can you say     that about a virgin like me?! [21:13] B     I see. You're having     Kazuma-kun's child, then? [21:17] B     I'll tell my father that I decided     to refuse the arrangement. [21:19] B     That'll probably be more convenient. [21:21] K     Uh... Yeah... [21:27] K     He's a really nice guy... [21:29] K     C'mon, man, take Darkness off my hands! [21:32] ---     Hee-hee. [21:34] Dad     A grandchild... My first grandchild... [21:37] Dad     F-F-F-Finally, I'll have a     darling grandchild... [21:43] A     I didn't realize the two     of you were like that... [21:47] A     G-Gotta tell someone...     Gotta tell the guys in town! [21:50] A     That Kazutrash and Darkness are— [21:51] K     Why did you believe her, too?! [21:56] S     Satou Kazuma! Is Satou Kazuma here?! SIGN    Episode 5 SIGN    Servitude for This Masked Knight! SIGN    Beloved Father. I no longer wish to strike a member of my family whom I care for. Are you aware that "tough love" is often harder on the one giving it than on the recipient? Especially on their hearts. So for now, please, allow me to live life as a knight for the time being. From your disobedient daughter, Lalatina. [23:32] D     Beloved Father. [23:34] D     I no longer wish to strike a member     of my family whom I care for. [23:37] D     Are you aware that "tough love"     is often harder on the one giving— E5 - Servitude for This Masked Knight! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:00] Sena     Satou Kazuma! [00:02] Sena     When we looked into the source of     the monsters all around the town, [00:06] Sena     we found them to be coming from [00:07] Sena     the Keele Dungeon that     you entered the other day! [00:10] Kazuma     You can't just blame everything on us. [00:13] Kazuma     I'll ask, just in case. You guys don't     know anything about this, right? [00:16] Megumin     It means nothing to me, unless it has     something to do with explosion magic. [00:20] Darkness     Same goes for me. [00:22] Darkness     I haven't done anything     likely to cause a problem. [00:25] Kazuma     And you? [00:26] Aqua     Of course not! [00:27] Aqua     You're doubting me way too much! [00:30] Aqua     If anything, there should be fewer     monsters in that dungeon because of me! [00:35] Kazuma     "Because of me"? [00:38] Kazuma     Get over here. [00:39] Kazuma     Keep talking. [00:41] Aqua     Well, y'see... [00:42] (Kazuma     Uh-huh. [00:42] (Kazuma     The magic circle I drew in that lich's     room was a super serious effort! [00:45] (Kazuma     Yeah? [00:46] (Kazuma     It should still be intact, with any evil     entities being unable to approach it. [00:51] Kazuma     What did you just say? [00:52] Aqua     Wh-What's the big deal? It's like I just said. [00:55] Aqua     The magic circle I put my best effort into     should be keeping monsters away from— [00:59] Kazuma     You idiot! SIGN    Episode 5 Servitude for This Masked Knight! [01:06] Aqua     It shouldn't be my fault... [01:09] Kazuma     It's like this every time. [01:11] Kazuma     Do you have some disease     where you'll freak out if [01:13] Kazuma     you don't negate every     contribution you make? [01:15] (Flashback) Kazuma     The monsters aside, [01:16] (Flashback) Kazuma     we can't just stand by if the     townsfolk are in trouble. [01:19] (Flashback) Kazuma     Please let us help. [01:20] Kazuma     I managed to get her off our case, [01:21] ---     It can't be my fault... [01:22] Kazuma     but if we don't erase that magic circle... [01:32] Kazuma     I see. [01:34] Kazuma     Yeah, those are some strange monsters. [01:36] Sena     Satou-san. [01:37] Kazuma     Satou here. [01:38] Sena     I appreciate your cooperation. [01:40] Sena     It seems like someone must be     summoning these monsters... [01:44] Sena     So please defeat the spell caster,     and place this on the summoning circle. [01:49] Sena     It's a powerful sealing talisman. [01:50] Aqua     Something about the mask on those dolls     disgusts me on an instinctive level. [01:55] Aqua     I wonder what it is...     It's seriously ticking me off. [01:59] Aqua     Huh? Wha... [02:00] Aqua     Wh-What? [02:02] Aqua     Wait... Huh? [02:04] Aqua     What is this? Does it want attention? [02:07] Aqua     Looking at the mask still ticks me off, [02:09] Aqua     but somehow, it's starting to look kinda cute— [02:15] Sena     As you can see, [02:16] Sena     these monsters have a tendency to     grab someone and then explode. [02:20] Kazuma     I see. [02:21] Aqua     Why are you so calm about this?! [02:31] Darkness     Right. [02:32] Darkness     I'll take the lead to clear the way. [02:35] Darkness     Kazuma, stay behind me. [02:37] Kazuma     R-Right. [02:38] Megumin     Kazuma, Kazuma. [02:40] Megumin     I'll just get in the way,     so I'll wait out here... [02:43] Aqua     Then I'll join you. [02:44] Kazuma     Hey, you're coming with us! [02:47] Aqua     No! [02:48] Aqua     I've had enough of dungeons! [02:51] Aqua     If I go in, I'll be left behind again! [02:55] Aqua     No dungeons... No... [02:58] Kazuma     I guess it's just me and Darkness, then. [03:00] Darkness     Just Kazuma and me?! [03:02] Darkness     You seem like a greater     danger than the monsters... [03:06] Kazuma     I could just leave you in the dungeon [03:08] Kazuma     so you can experience     the same trauma as Aqua. SIGN    Exploration Quest SIGN    Investigate the Strange Activity     in Keele's Dungeon [03:15] Kazuma     Unlike the last time I was down here,     the place was lit up like it was inhabited. [03:20] Kazuma     Could this be because of     these strange monsters? [03:25] Darkness     I can hit them! [03:26] Darkness     I can actually hit them! [03:28] Darkness     Look, Kazuma! [03:29] Darkness     I can actually hit them with my sword! [03:31] Kazuma     You sure do look happy. [03:34] Kazuma     But with these other guys around, [03:36] Kazuma     I can't erase Aqua's magic circle     without anyone noticing... [03:38] Guy     Hey, wait up! Can we slow down a— [03:41] Guy     It got me! Somebody get this thing off me! [03:44] Guy     No! Stay back! [03:47] Kazuma     Now, Darkness! Let's get moving! [03:49] Darkness     Leave it to me! [03:51] Darkness     What is this sense of fulfillment?! [03:54] Darkness     It feels like I'm doing my duty as a     crusader correctly for the first time! [03:58] Darkness     KONOSUBA! [04:02] Kazuma     What's his deal? [04:06] Kazuma     It seems pretty clear that he's     the master of those dolls. [04:10] Kazuma     Wha— Hey! [04:12] Darkness     You're the one behind this? [04:17] Vanir     I didn't expect you to make it this far. [04:21] Vanir     Welcome to my dungeon, adventurers! [04:24] Vanir     I am the root of this evil,     the source of your problems! [04:28] Vanir     A commander in the Devil King's army, [04:29] Vanir     and a duke of hell who     leads an army of demons... [04:32] Vanir     The archdemon whose sight     pierces all in this world... [04:37] Vanir     I am Vanir. SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Defeat the Devil King Army Commander     Archdemon Vanir [04:42] Kazuma     One of the Devil King's commanders?! [04:44] Kazuma     Hey, we need to run! [04:46] Darkness     A servant of the goddess Eris     cannot flee in the face of a demon! [04:51] Vanir     You'd challenge me, Vanir-san, [04:53] Vanir     who is rumored to be even more     powerful than the Devil King? [04:57] Vanir     Well, just calm yourselves. [04:59] Vanir     I may be one of the Devil King's commanders, [05:01] Vanir     but all I do is maintain the     barrier around his castle. [05:03] Vanir     A commander in name only, if you will. [05:05] Vanir     I was asked by the Devil King to     look into what became of Verdia. [05:11] Vanir     While I was in Axel, I decided to     drop in on the knucklehead shopkeeper [05:16] Vanir     who seems to have a strange talent for     losing more money the harder she works. [05:21] Vanir     I am what is commonly known as demonkin... [05:26] Vanir     And the greatest sustenance for demons [05:28] Vanir     is the dark emotions you     humans are so ashamed of! [05:32] Vanir     With the birth of every new human, [05:34] Vanir     I run about the garden in joy! [05:38] Kazuma     Yet these dolls keep marching     out of this dungeon, [05:40] Kazuma     giving us humans a pretty hard time! [05:43] Vanir     Truly? [05:44] Vanir     I had intended to use them to     clear this dungeon of monsters... [05:48] Vanir     If they've made their way outside,     there must be no monsters left. [05:53] Vanir     In that case... [05:55] Vanir     On to my next plan, I suppose. [05:59] Kazuma     What are you after?! [06:01] Vanir     How rude, coming from the man who     loafed around his room like a bear, [06:05] Vanir     just because he was anxious about     the armor girl's late return home. [06:08] Kazuma     Hey, cut that out! [06:10] Kazuma     How can you say that like you were there?! [06:13] Kazuma     And quit fidgeting, you! [06:15] Vanir     You see, I have a rather sublime death wish. [06:20] Vanir     First, I obtain a dungeon. [06:22] Vanir     Then I station demons in each     room and set up traps. [06:25] Vanir     A group of skilled adventurers     rises to the challenge! [06:29] Vanir     After overcoming taxing trials, [06:31] Vanir     the brave adventurers make their     way to the innermost chamber! [06:35] Vanir     And of course, I am there to greet them! [06:37] Vanir     "You've done well to make     it this far, adventurers!" [06:40] Vanir     "Now, defeat me, and obtain     incredible riches!" [06:43] Vanir     The final battle begins, at last! [06:46] Vanir     And after a climactic confrontation, [06:50] Vanir     they find a sealed treasure     box beyond my beaten body! [06:53] Vanir     And when those adventurers,     who have endured so much, open it... [06:58] Vanir     They find a piece of paper     that says, "You lose." [07:00] Vanir     I watch as they are stunned to find it there... [07:06] Vanir     That's how I wish to die. [07:11] Vanir     In order to make this plan a reality, [07:13] Vanir     I was going to use a friend's     store to save up money [07:15] Vanir     to pay for the construction     of a massive dungeon... [07:18] Vanir     But I was passing by this place, [07:20] Vanir     and since it seemed uninhabited,     I figured it may as well be this dungeon. [07:25] Vanir     But there's a truly vexing     magic circle beyond this room. [07:28] Vanir     I can't even enter the chamber. [07:30] Kazuma     Her again... [07:32] Vanir     Oh, it was one of your comrades     who drew the magic circle? [07:36] Vanir     Well, well... [07:39] Vanir     Let's take a look. [07:44] Vanir     Remarkable! [07:46] Vanir     That priest comrade of yours created     this irritating magic circle! [07:51] Vanir     I can see it... I see it quite clearly. [07:53] Vanir     I can see the priest enjoying     some tea as she lazes around! [07:56] Kazuma     That little... [07:58] Vanir     And you, girl! You lost your bet to this man, [07:59] Vanir     and have been overwhelmed with curiosity     about what he will demand of you, [08:03] Vanir     to the point that you're     squirming in anticipation! [08:05] Darkness     I am not overwhelmed or squirming! [08:07] Darkness     Don't blurt stuff like that out! [08:09] Darkness     Don't! [08:11] Vanir     And you, the man who's     nervous about what exactly [08:13] Vanir     to demand of this girl     once this matter is settled! [08:16] Kazuma     I... I am not nervous! [08:18] Kazuma     I-I'm totally not! [08:19] Vanir     Why don't you two step aside? [08:21] Vanir     After all, I have an iron-clad     rule about not killing humans. [08:26] Vanir     Yes, I won't kill humans. [08:29] Vanir     Not humans. [08:32] Vanir     But the one who made this nuisance of a     magical circle is going to pay dearly for it! [08:37] Kazuma     He knows Aqua's identity?! [08:39] Darkness     If you're threatening Aqua,     then I cannot stand down! [08:42] Vanir     It seems your head is as     hard as your muscles, girl! [08:45] Vanir     If you leave right now, [08:46] Vanir     I'm sure you can enjoy the crazy demands     you're expecting, with no interruptions! [08:52] Kazuma     D-Don't listen to him! [08:53] Kazuma     It's a demon's temptation!     Don't let him lead you astray! [08:56] Darkness     I-I'm not being led anywhere! [08:57] Darkness     You're the one who needs to consider     the time and place, Kazuma! [09:01] Kazuma     H-Huh? Am I the only one feeling     really tempted, then? [09:04] Darkness     Enough of this! [09:06] Darkness     Hearing you talk feels like     it's driving me crazy! [09:10] Darkness     Then why don't the two of you     take a break in that room [09:12] Darkness     with the magic circle before heading home? [09:15] Darkness     Kazuma, stop being so tempted! [09:17] Darkness     We live in the same mansion! [09:19] Darkness     What would we do if our relationship     took such a strange turn?! [09:21] Darkness     Get a grip! [09:23] Kazuma     She may look great and have the kind of     body I prefer, but she's still Darkness! [09:27] Kazuma     I need to snap out of it! [09:28] Darkness     Wh-When we get back,     I'll make you regret this! [09:34] Vanir     For all your fire, your attacks     don't seem to be landing! [09:42] Vanir     Where did that sneaky-looking lad go? [09:44] Vanir     Someone like him is likely to be more of     a threat than a muscle-brained crusader. [09:49] Darkness     What are you looking for?! [09:50] Darkness     I'm the one you're fighting! [09:53] Vanir     Nice try! [09:55] Kazuma     Here's my chance! [09:56] Kazuma     Got you! [10:07] Vanir     It can't be... [10:08] Vanir     I've been defeated here? [10:13] Darkness     Did I finish him? [10:14] Kazuma     Damn it, why was that thing lying on the floor? [10:18] Kazuma     But... does this mean we really got him?! [10:22] Vanir     And just as you're getting     your hopes up, you lose! [10:27] Vanir     Did you think you had struck me down? [10:29] Vanir     How unfortunate! I'm not even hurt. [10:33] Vanir     Oh, my... The dark emotions from you two... [10:35] Vanir     They are truly delicious! [10:39] Kazuma     Darkness! [10:45] Kazuma     Darkness? Hey! Answer me! [10:54] Vanir     Boy, listen well! With my power— [10:57] Darkness     What should I do, Kazuma?! [10:58] Darkness     My body's been taken over! [11:00] Vanir     Well, boy? If you think you can attack this girl... [11:03] Darkness     I don't mind at all! Go ahead, show no mercy! [11:06] Darkness     Quickly, now! This is a perfect situation! [11:09] Vanir     Shut up, you! [11:10] Vanir     What is your deal?! [11:14] Vanir     Impossible... What is this— [11:16] Darkness     Lovely— [11:17] Vanir     ...girl?! [11:18] Vanir     How tough must her mind be?! [11:20] Darkness     She's like the very model of a crusader! [11:22] Vanir     Oh, pipe down! [11:27] Vanir     To be able to resist my control... [11:29] Vanir     You are most impressive, girl. [11:31] Darkness     Aw, shucks... [11:32] Vanir     However, the more you endure it, [11:33] Vanir     the sooner you'll be wracked     with unbearable pain! [11:36] Darkness     Wh-What?! [11:38] Vanir     Now, how long can you endure it? [11:42] Vanir     What is this? [11:44] Vanir     Is she feeling joy? [11:46] Kazuma     'Scuse me, coming through. [11:50] Darkness     I will not let this pain get to me! [11:53] Vanir     Such noble determination! [11:55] Vanir     But resist much longer,     and your mind may be destroyed. [11:59] Vanir     Woman, are you actually     enjoying this situation? [12:04] Kazuma     Okay, Darkness, let's join Aqua     and get the hell out of here. [12:07] ---     Wha— [12:08] Vanir     Not another step, boy! [12:10] Darkness     Kazuma, leave me behind and go. [12:12] Vanir     Don't expect things to be that easy— [12:14] Darkness     Oh, I've always wanted to say that! [12:17] Vanir     You don't want to harm this girl     you find so attractive, do you? [12:22] Vanir     If she continues to resist my power— [12:25] Darkness     K-Kazuma, this mind-reading devil just     said something that piqued my interest... [12:29] Vanir     Shut up! [12:35] Vanir     This body was a mistake... [12:37] Darkness     Hey, isn't it rude to call     someone's body a mistake?! [12:40] Vanir     Oh, enough! [12:42] Vanir     I'm leaving! [12:43] Kazuma     Oh, we can't have that. [12:45] Vanir     What is this talisman? [12:46] Darkness     Wait, Kazuma... Isn't that... [12:48] Kazuma     The sealing talisman Sena gave me. [12:51] Kazuma     We'll head outside and have Aqua purify you. [12:54] Darkness     Wha— [12:55] Darkness     KONOSUBA! [12:58] Vanir     Boy, this girl's resistance to my power     leaves her body in constant surging pain! [13:04] Vanir     At this rate, her mind will be broken! [13:07] Darkness     You heard him, Kazuma! [13:09] Darkness     This is the most intense pain I've ever felt! [13:11] Darkness     Just as I'd expect from one     of the Devil King's commanders! [13:13] Darkness     I might just fall for him! [13:14] Kazuma     Hang in there! [13:15] Kazuma     Once we get to the surface,     we'll make you feel better! [13:18] Darkness     Don't trouble yourself. [13:20] Kaz/Van     What did you just say? [13:22] Darkness     Don't trouble yourself. [13:24] Kazuma     You really hung in there, Darkness! [13:27] Kazuma     Darkness? [13:31] Vanir     My domination is complete! [13:33] Kazuma     Oh, no! [13:35] Vanir     Now to give that priest of yours     something she'll never see coming! [13:40] Kazuma     Darkness, snap out of it! [13:42] Kazuma     You're better than this! [13:44] Vanir     It's no use, boy! [13:45] Vanir     Now, it's time for a heart-warming reunion     after having safely left the dungeon! [13:50] Vanir     My loathsome nemesis... [13:52] Vanir     It's time to see how you will deal with your     friend's body, now that I have control— [13:57] Aqua     Sacred Exorcism! [14:04] Kazuma     D-Darkness! [14:06] Kazuma     Hey, don't just blast someone     with magic out of the blue! [14:09] Aqua     Well, I felt an evil presence     coming, so I took a shot at it. [14:13] Kazuma     One of the Devil King's commander's     has taken over Darkness's body! [14:17] Sena     O-One of the Devil King's commanders?! [14:19] Aqua     Ew! What the— Ugh! [14:21] Aqua     This is definitely the stench     that comes from demons! [14:24] Aqua     Darkness, you're so stanky! [14:27] Vanir     First, I suppose I should introduce myself [14:29] Vanir     to this priest who shares a name with     the infamous, obnoxious water goddess! [14:33] Vanir     I am— [14:34] Darkness     Aqua, I don't think it's     actually me who stinks! [14:37] Vanir     I am Vani— [14:38] Darkness     Kazuma, come smell me! I shouldn't stink! [14:41] Vanir     Would you shut it?! [14:43] Vanir     I am Vanir... [14:45] Vanir     To unleash anti-demon     magic at first sight... [14:47] Vanir     This is why everyone hates     the members of the Axis cult. [14:51] Vanir     Have you never heard of etiquette?! [14:53] Aqua     Wow, we've got a demon talking     about etiquette over here! [14:57] Aqua     Aren't you just a parasite who'd fade     away without dark human emotions? [15:05] Aqua     Sacred Highness Exorcism! [15:08] Vanir     Nice try! [15:08] Kazuma     Watch it! [15:09] Aqua     Hey, Darkness, why are you dodging?! [15:12] Aqua     Stand still! [15:13] Darkness     Easy for you to say! [15:14] Megumin     It's not fair! [15:15] Megumin     I want one of those masks, too! [15:18] Megumin     It appeals directly to my     Crimson Demon sense of values! [15:20] Kazuma     Are you stupid?! The mask is his main body! [15:23] Sena     It does match the description of the     all-seeing demon from a wanted poster! [15:26] Sena     Everyone, apprehend him! [15:27] ---     Yes, ma'am! [15:34] Aqua     Come on, Darkness, stand still! [15:36] Aqua     Do you want to be saved or not?! [15:38] Adventurers     I never thought Darkness was this tough... [15:41] Adventurers     I can't hit her! She deflects us     with her sword like we're nothing! [15:44] Vanir     This body is quite functional. [15:47] Vanir     It's strong and has plenty of stamina. [15:49] Vanir     Not only that, but it has excellent resistance     against the pesky magic of the gods. [15:53] Darkness     I'm sorry, everyone... [15:56] Vanir     Now, keep it coming,     you pitiful adventuring clowns! [15:59] Adventurers     Darkness! You finally land a     few hits with your sword [16:02] Adventurers     and now you're all high and mighty?! [16:04] Adventurers     I used to think you were the only     sane member of Kazuma's party! [16:07] Adventurers     Surround her! Surround her!     Let's surround this scrub of a crusader! [16:12] Darkness     The adventurers I usually have     cordial interactions with [16:15] Darkness     are looking at me with such disdain... [16:17] Vanir     I sense happiness for some reason.     What's going on here? [16:22] Megumin     Please, do something! [16:24] Sena     Satou-san, aren't you going to help?! [16:28] Aqua     Kazuma! [16:29] Aqua     Hey, I'm in trouble here! [16:32] Aqua     Like, it might be the biggest trouble ever! [16:35] Aqua     Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! [16:39] Kazuma     I honestly feel like chewing     Sena out right now! [16:41] Kazuma     I'm not the one who's always causing trouble! [16:44] Kazuma     I just get dragged into it! [16:46] Kazuma     And I'm supposed to have good luck?! [16:48] Aqua     Kazuma-san! [16:53] Kazuma     Fine, damn it! [16:57] Kazuma     Darkness, how can that demon     have you whipped already?! [17:01] Kazuma     Have you always been such an easy woman? [17:04] Vanir     It's no use! Your voice can't reach— [17:07] Darkness     Who are you calling an easy woman?! [17:09] Darkness     He doesn't have me whipped! [17:13] Vanir     Such an iron will... [17:14] Kazuma     I'm going to remove the seal on the mask! [17:17] Kazuma     Then, even if it's just for a     second, take control from Vanir, [17:20] Kazuma     take the mask off, and throw it away! [17:22] Vanir     How does someone as puny as     you expect to remove the seal, [17:27] Vanir     when I'm drawing out the full     potential of this girl's strength? [17:30] Darkness     True. Right now, I don't feel     as if anyone could defeat me. [17:35] Varkniress     If you can overpower me... [17:37] Varkniress     ...to take the sealing talisman... [17:38] Varkniress     ...and remove it... [17:39] Varkniress     ...then I challenge you... [17:40] Varkniress     ...to try it... [17:41] Varkniress     ...if you dare! [17:42] Varkniress     Oh, shut up! [17:44] Varkniress     Don't steal my big line! [17:49] Darkness     Steal! Kazuma must be planning     to use his specialty, Steal! [17:53] Kazuma     Hey, don't tell him the plan! [17:55] Aqua     Kazuma, you've got me backing you up! [17:58] Aqua     Handle this like a real hero! [18:00] Kazuma     Hey, Darkness! How about another bet? [18:03] Kazuma     If I win, in addition to my crazy demand, [18:07] Kazuma     I'll also get to do something unbelievable! [18:10] Darkness     At a time like this, you'd— [18:12] Vanir     Hey, don't let him sweet-talk you! [18:14] Vanir     Boost your magic power so     you can withstand his Steal. [18:16] Kazuma     Darkness! Resist Vanir so that he can't move! [18:20] Vanir     Don't think some mere adventurer's     Steal will work on me! [18:23] Kazuma     Here we go! [18:24] Varkniress     Come on! [18:28] Kazuma     Tinder! [18:40] Darkness     That's cheating, Kazuma! You coward! [18:42] Vanir     You were actually able to     deceive an all-seeing demon... [18:45] Kazuma     Come on, Darkness! Show him what you've got! [18:48] Darkness     It won't come off! [18:50] ---     What?! [18:51] Aqua     What now, Kazuma-san?! [18:53] Aqua     Should I go ahead and fire? [18:54] Kazuma     No... Even if you do,     with Darkness's resistances... [19:00] Darkness     Do it. [19:02] Darkness     If Aqua's magic doesn't work,     it doesn't matter. [19:06] Darkness     Then you can blast both of     us with explosion magic. [19:10] Megumin     I couldn't! [19:11] Megumin     My explosion magic has     grown even more powerful, [19:13] Megumin     thanks to the experience I've gained! [19:16] Megumin     Even you would be... [19:24] Darkness     Vanir... It wasn't for long,     but the time we shared wasn't bad. [19:30] Darkness     So I'm offering you a choice: [19:33] Darkness     leave me and be purified, [19:36] Darkness     or be struck by explosion magic with me. [19:40] Vanir     For an agent of destruction like myself,     I couldn't ask for a sweeter offer. [19:44] Vanir     To think my death wish     would play out like this... [19:51] Vanir     My time possessing your     body was quite enjoyable. [19:58] Vanir     I am a demon! [20:00] Vanir     And I absolutely refuse to be     purified by the gods I oppose! [20:04] Darkness     Now, Megumin! [20:09] Kazuma     If this goes badly, I want     you to act as a witness [20:14] Kazuma     and confirm that this was on my orders. [20:16] Kazuma     I'll take full responsibility for this, too. [20:23] Kazuma     Megumin! [20:29] Megumin     The tower of rebellion     creeps upon man's world... [20:32] Megumin     The unspoken faith displayed before me... [20:35] Megumin     The time has come! [20:36] Megumin     Now, awaken from your slumber, [20:38] Megumin     and by my madness, be wrought! [20:41] Megumin     Strike forth, Explosion! [20:54] Sena     Adventurer, Satou Kazuma-dono! [20:57] Sena     In addition to awarding you, and delivering     this letter of appreciation from the town, [21:01] Sena     I wish to offer my sincere apologies for the     suspicions that were brought against you. [21:08] Kazuma     After the fight with Vanir, [21:10] Kazuma     people didn't believe that someone     connected to the Devil King's army [21:13] Kazuma     would go so far to defeat     one of its commanders. [21:15] Kazuma     And so, the suspicions about me     being a spy were cleared up. [21:19] Kazuma     Not having to worry about being     executed is a big relief. [21:23] Sena     And next, Lady Dustiness Ford Lalatina. [21:27] Sena     The dedication you have shown in     this incident was magnificent, [21:30] Sena     and for your efforts, which lived up     to the honor of the Dustiness name, [21:33] Sena     the royal family is presenting     you with a letter of gratitude, [21:35] Sena     and this armor from first-rate craftsmen     to replace the set you lost. [21:43] Kazuma     After being hit with Megumin's explosion magic, [21:45] Kazuma     Darkness was badly hurt and weakened, [21:47] Kazuma     and the armor she cherished was destroyed. [21:50] Kazuma     Aqua's healing helped her recover     to where she is today, but... [21:55] Crowd     Congratulations, Lalatina! [21:57] Crowd     You did great, Lalatina! [21:59] Crowd     That's our Lalatina! [22:01] Crowd     Lalatina! You're so cute, Lalatina! [22:05] Darkness     Th-This kind of embarrassment isn't     the crazy thing I was hoping for... [22:10] Aqua     Come on, Darkness, I think the     name Lalatina is really cute! [22:15] Aqua     I'll chew Kazuma out for letting everyone     know your name, Lalatina, as a joke. [22:21] Aqua     So please, have confidence in     your name, which is Lalatina! [22:25] Sena     Now, for the adventurer     Satou Kazuma and his party... [22:30] Sena     In addition to your valuable aid with the     destruction of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, [22:35] Sena     the defeat of the Devil King commander, Vanir, [22:38] Sena     would have been impossible     without your contributions. [22:41] Sena     Your debt, along with the cost     of repairs to the lord's manor, [22:46] Sena     will be subtracted from your reward. [22:48] Sena     After factoring in your debts, [22:51] Sena     you will receive 40 million Eris     to celebrate your achievement! [23:02] Roughneck     Look at how giddy they are. [23:04] Roughneck     But a day like this every     once in a while ain't bad. [23:07] Aqua     Nature's Beauty! [23:09] Kazuma     Right now... [23:10] Kazuma     The heavy chains that had clung     to my body for so long are gone... [23:21] Kazuma     And I have obtained the wings of freedom! SIGN    Quest Clear SIGN    Investigate the strange activity in Keele's Dungeon     Defeat the Devil King Army Commander Archdemon Vanir SIGN    Debt Fully Paid, Got 40 Million Eris SIGN    Episode 6 SIGN    Goodbye to This Irritating Living World! SIGN    Father, Mother. Are you doing well? I'm doing fine. I'm working hard as an adventurer every day. Huh? Party members? Of course I have some! We're all great friends, y'know? I'm not lying, okay? Seriously, you don't need to worry! Yunyun [23:31] Yunyun     Father, Mother. Are you doing well? [23:34] Yunyun     I'm doing fine. [23:35] Yunyun     I'm working hard as an adventurer every day. [23:37] Yunyun     Huh? Party members? Of course I have— E6 - Goodbye to This Irritating Living World! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:04] Aqua     No! No way! [00:06] Aqua     It's still cold outside! [00:09] Aqua     Why do you guys want to     go out there so badly?! [00:11] Megumin     I can't cast explosion     magic unless I'm outside! [00:15] Darkness     Monsters start to become     active as spring approaches, [00:17] Darkness     so that means work for adventurers! [00:20] Aqua     Are you guys children?! [00:21] Aqua     Are you two basically little kids     who want to go play outside?! [00:24] Aqua     If you want to go outside     so bad, go without me! [00:27] Megumin     Who are you calling a little kid?! [00:29] Darkness     You're acting far more     childish right now, Aqua! [00:32] Darkness     At this rate... [00:33] Both     You'll end up like that. [00:37] Aqua     Okay, even I would rather     not end up like that... [00:41] Aqua     But why don't you convince     that loser before me?! [00:44] Kazuma     Listen, you three. Even-tempered as     I may be, I still get angry sometimes. [00:48] Kazuma     Where do you get off calling     someone "that" and a loser? [00:51] Kazuma     How rude can you be? [00:54] Aqua     If you have a problem, why don't     you get out from under there first? SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Episode 6 Goodbye to This Irritating Living World! [02:32] Kazuma     We defeated the demon Vanir,     one of the Devil King's commanders... [02:38] Kazuma     But we weren't able to     savor our victory for long. [02:42] Kazuma     Wiz is also one of the     Devil King's commanders. [02:45] Kazuma     The fact that we had     slain one of her comrades [02:48] Kazuma     was something that we had to tell her. [02:51] (Flashback) Darkness     I'll tell her about Vanir. [02:54] (Flashback) Darkness     It wasn't for long, but we shared a     body and wreaked havoc together. [02:58] (Flashback) Darkness     As a crusader in the service of Eris-sama, [03:01] (Flashback) Darkness     I probably shouldn't say such a thing... [03:04] (Flashback) Darkness     But I didn't dislike him. [03:16] (Flashback) Darkness     Wiz, we need to tell you something... [03:18] (Flashback) Vanir     Hey, welcome, folks! [03:19] (Flashback) Vanir     Now, girl who had a distant look in her eyes [03:21] (Flashback) Vanir     as she was in front of the store     spouting embarrassing nonsense... [03:23] (Flashback) Vanir     There's something I must inform you of. [03:26] (Flashback) Vanir     "But I didn't dislike him!" [03:28] (Flashback) Vanir     About that... You see,     we demons have no gender, [03:31] (Flashback) Vanir     so that embarrassing declaration of     your feelings is nothing I can—oh, my! [03:35] (Flashback) Vanir     Now this is an intense swell     of dark emotions! Most savory! [03:39] (Flashback) Vanir     What's the matter? You've curled up     and hidden your face in your knees. [03:41] (Flashback) Vanir     Did you actually think that I had perished?! [03:44] (Flashback) Kazuma     There, there... [03:46] (Flashback) Wiz     I heard all about it, Kazuma-san. [03:48] (Flashback) Wiz     Defeating Vanir-san has cleared up     those spying charges of yours. [03:51] (Flashback) Wiz     Congratulations! [03:53] (Flashback) Kazuma     That's great and all, [03:54] (Flashback) Kazuma     but why is he totally fine after     taking a blast of explosion magic? [03:57] (Flashback) Kazuma     Why isn't he hurt at all?! [03:59] (Flashback) Vanir     When hit with such sorcery, [04:00] (Flashback) Vanir     even one such as I couldn't escape unscathed. [04:03] (Flashback) Vanir     Take a good look at my mask! [04:07] (Flashback) Vanir     I lost one of my extra lives,     making me Vanir II! [04:11] (Flashback) Kazuma     Quit messing around! [04:13] (Flashback) Wiz     Vanir-san actually wanted to leave his post     as one of the Devil King's commanders. [04:16] (Flashback) Wiz     So, currently, he doesn't maintain the     barrier around the Devil King's castle. [04:20] (Flashback) Wiz     He should be harmless as a result. [04:23] (Flashback) Kazuma     Y-You think he's harmless? [04:26] (Flashback) Vanir     You, boy from a distant land... [04:29] (Flashback) Vanir     I believe you would be well served     in assisting in our business. [04:32] (Flashback) Vanir     I've got an excellent offer. Care to hear it? [04:36] Kazuma     Vanir's big moneymaking scheme [04:39] Kazuma     was making stuff from my world     and selling it in this one. [04:44] Kazuma     I just have to make and develop the products. [04:46] Kazuma     The manufacturing and distribution     are Vanir's to handle. [04:49] Kazuma     And the first idea for this plan was     the kotatsu I am currently under. [04:54] Megumin     We're all very impressed with the     furniture from your homeland, Kazuma. [04:58] Megumin     But shouldn't we be getting back to work? [05:00] Darkness     She's right, Kazuma. [05:03] Darkness     Come on. [05:03] Kazuma     Freeze! [05:05] Darkness     Eek! [05:11] Megumin     H-He actually fought back! [05:13] Megumin     Kazuma, would you please give it a rest?! [05:16] Megumin     Stop making such a fuss and— [05:19] Megumin     Ow! My head... [05:23] Kazuma     Don't underestimate me. [05:25] Kazuma     I'm the Kazuma-san who's tangled with the     Devil King's commanders and other big shots. [05:28] Kazuma     Try again after you've leveled up a bit! [05:33] Darkness     Do you think your petty     tricks will really— Eek! [05:37] Megumin     The theft of my magic power is a     crime deserving of a thousand— [05:40] Megumin     So... tired... [05:45] Kazuma     I get the feeling I could     take anyone on right now! [05:50] Kazuma     Wait. We've got an emergency. [05:53] Kazuma     I realize this might be asking a bit     much, but let's call a ceasefire. [05:57] Kazuma     Sorry, but could you two lift     the mat under the kotatsu [05:59] Kazuma     and carry me to the bathroom, please? [06:04] Kazuma     That was easier than I thought. [06:06] Megumin     Let's dump him and his kotatsu outside. [06:09] Darkness     Good idea. Aqua, open the window, would you? [06:12] Kazuma     Stop it! Do you people have no hearts?! [06:15] Kazuma     H-Hey, cut it out! Wait, no— [06:16] Girls     Heave-ho! [06:23] Kazuma     Ugh, it's still so cold... [06:27] Aqua     Fireplace... Sofa... [06:29] Darkness     Kazuma, why are we taking this street? [06:32] Megumin     This isn't the way to the guild. [06:37] Kazuma     Did you think I was just roasting     under the kotatsu all this time? [06:40] Kazuma     Hey! [06:42] Smith     Welcome! [06:43] Kazuma     Is it ready, Pops? [06:45] Kazuma     Is my katana ready to go?! [06:47] Smith     Yeah. I managed to finish it. [06:49] Smith     I did make it in the shape you described... [06:52] Smith     Here you go. [06:57] Smith     I didn't really get the hardening     techniques you were going on about, [07:02] Smith     but it was an interesting job anyway! [07:05] Ruffian     O-ho... [07:06] Ruffian     So that's your new partner, huh? [07:11] Kazuma     My new partner. [07:14] Megumin     When did you order a sword like that, Kazuma? [07:16] Kazuma     I learned a smithing skill     from this guy a while back. [07:21] Darkness     You mentioned needing that for     your new financial venture, right? [07:24] Kazuma     And while I was at it, [07:25] Kazuma     I made the order, figuring I     was due for a gear upgrade. [07:30] Smith     You just need to write a name for it on     this talisman, and attach it to the handle. [07:34] Smith     Make sure it's a good one! [07:37] Smith     And then... [07:40] Smith     Here's your full-plate armor. [07:42] Smith     This is fancier than what most of the     adventurers around these parts have. [07:47] Smith     Take good care of it. [07:49] Kazuma     This is it! This is real     gear for a fantasy setting! [07:52] Ruffian     I might've just witnessed     the birth of a new hero... [08:00] Ruffian     KONOSUBA! [08:05] Megumin     I guess clothes really do make the man. [08:07] Darkness     Even most crusaders can't     equip this kind of armor! [08:11] Aqua     Kazuma, do a pose with your sword! [08:22] Megumin     Kazuma? [08:24] Kazuma     First-rate warriors don't demonstrate     their techniques for show... [08:28] Darkness     Too heavy to move in, huh? [08:30] Kazuma     Could someone undo     the latches on the back? [08:33] Smith     Well, better to use the gear     you're most familiar with, right? [08:37] Kazuma     I guess I'll just have to     settle for a new weapon... [08:48] Kazuma     I'm counting on you, partner! [09:07] Kazuma     I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! [09:09] Kazuma     Uh, w-well, thanks again. [09:29] Kazuma     This is nothing like I imagined! [09:39] Megumin     Your partner seems a lot shorter now. [09:42] Kazuma     Shut up! [09:44] Kazuma     I want to at least make     sure it has a cool name... [09:48] Kazuma     Muramasa? [09:50] Kazuma     Masamune? Kotetsu? [09:52] Aqua     Kazuma! Megumin! [09:54] Aqua     Hey! [09:55] Darkness     There's a great quest here! [09:58] Luna     These monsters are called Lizard Runners. [10:01] Luna     When entering their mating period, the     males gather around the Princess Runner, [10:05] Luna     forming a massive group, [10:07] Luna     and then they compete for the     Princess Runner's affections. [10:11] Kazuma     Compete? [10:13] Luna     They run! [10:15] Luna     In a huge group, trampling     anything that gets in their path. [10:19] Luna     The fastest male becomes the King Runner, [10:22] Luna     and the Princess Runner's mate. [10:24] Kazuma     That sounds like a real handful... [10:26] Luna     This quest involves getting     rid of the Lizard Runners. [10:30] Luna     There are many of them,     so it may be dangerous... [10:34] Kazuma     It's okay. [10:36] Kazuma     No matter what monster it is,     it's no match for this guy and me. [10:40] Kazuma     Isn't that right, my partner... uh... [10:43] Kazuma     Kikuichimonji? Kogarasumaru? [10:45] Megumin     Chunchunmaru. [10:47] Kazuma     Say what, now? [10:48] Megumin     I said Chunchunmaru. [10:50] Megumin     This sword's name is Chunchunmaru. [10:52] Kazuma     There's no way I can give     it such a goofy name! [10:55] Kazuma     As my preferred blade,     it needs a suitably cool name... [11:03] Megumin     From now on, this sword     is named Chunchunmaru. [11:06] Megumin     What the hell did you just do?! [11:10] Megumin     Listen... [11:12] Kazuma     Even if I do I defeat the     Devil King with this sword, [11:15] Kazuma     "The legendary hero's sword, Chunchunmaru" [11:18] Kazuma     is what it's gonna say on     the plaque in the museum. [11:22] Megumin     I gave it such a cool name     for you. What's your problem? SIGN    Eliminate the group of Lizard Runners SIGN    Kill Quest [11:33] Kazuma     Everybody ready? [11:37] Aqua     I'm ready to go anytime! [11:40] Darkness     Thanks to Aqua's support magic, [11:42] Darkness     I can endure as many of them as needed! [11:44] Megumin     And if any get through, just leave them to me. [11:48] Megumin     I'll blow them all to smithereens. [11:51] Kazuma     All right, stick to the plan! [11:53] Kazuma     First, I'll Snipe the King     and Princess Runners... [11:58] Kazuma     With those two down, [11:59] Kazuma     the rest of the Lizard     Runners should disperse, [12:02] Kazuma     meaning we can ignore the rest. [12:04] Kazuma     If my Snipe fails, and they head this way, [12:07] Kazuma     Darkness will hold them up so that I can     Snipe the King and Princess Runners. [12:15] Kazuma     And if any manage to get past her, [12:16] Kazuma     Megumin will blow them all away     before they can surround us, [12:20] Kazuma     and I can pick off any     survivors from up here. [12:24] Kazuma     Aqua, focus on backing us up! [12:27] Kazuma     All right, here we go! [12:37] Kazuma     I can tell that's the Princess, but... [12:40] Kazuma     Hey, Aqua! Which one's the King? [12:43] Aqua     Probably the most high-and-mighty-looking one? [12:45] Kazuma     I was a fool for even asking you. [12:48] Aqua     I know! The King is the fastest one, right? [12:49] Aqua     Oh? [12:51] ---     Uh-huh. [12:51] Aqua     I can use magic to get their attention, [12:54] Aqua     and the first one to get here is the King! [12:56] Kazuma     Wha?! [12:57] Kazuma     Hey, what are you sayi— [12:58] Aqua     Force Fire! [13:10] Kazuma     No! You freaking idiot! [13:13] Kazuma     Are you not satisfied unless you     screw up every single time?! [13:16] Kazuma     We could've neutralized them by just     taking out the King and Princess, [13:18] Kazuma     so why call the whole group here?! [13:21] Aqua     What's your problem?! [13:22] Aqua     I was just trying to help! Don't yell at me! [13:26] Aqua     And if I have to make up for it later,     it'll just be the same as always! [13:29] Aqua     I'm going to get messed up by     those Runners and be left crying! [13:33] Aqua     I get it, okay?! It happens every time! [13:36] Aqua     Go on, if you wanna kill me, just do it— [13:45] Kazuma     Don't lie down there! [13:47] Kazuma     They'll actually trample you to death! [13:52] Kazuma     Got him! [13:59] Kazuma     Hey! I beat the one that     looked like the King, [14:02] Kazuma     but now they're even more violent! [14:04] Aqua     The lizards get excited when a King [14:05] Aqua     is defeated, because it means they have     a chance to become the new King. [14:10] Aqua     You need to take down the     Princess Runner first. [14:13] Kazuma     You could've said that sooner! [14:15] Megumin     Leave it to me! [14:17] Kazuma     Megumin! [14:20] Megumin     Taste the power of my explosion magic! [14:23] Megumin     Explosion! [14:26] Megumin     My magic power! [14:28] Megumin     Kazuma! I don't have enough magic     power to activate my explosion magic! [14:28] Megumin     Yes?! [14:31] Kazuma     Huh?! Why wouldn't you... [14:34] Kazuma     Wait... [14:35] Kazuma     It's my fault?! [14:39] Darkness     Come at me! [14:41] Kazuma     Darkness! [14:46] Aqua     Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san— [14:49] Kazuma     Darkness, just hang in there!     I'll take her down now! [14:53] Darkness     D-Don't worry about me! [14:55] Darkness     T-Take your time! [15:19] Darkness     Snipe! [15:29] Darkness     That was a close one... [15:48] Megumin     K-Kazuma?! Are you all right?! [15:51] Megumin     Aqua! Kazuma took a scary-looking fall! [15:54] Megumin     Healing magic... [16:03] Eris     Try to live a bit more carefully, okay? [16:05] Eris     It wasn't easy to find a work-around     to let you come back to life last time. [16:09] Kazuma     I'm sorry. I have no excuse     for what happened this time. [16:14] Eris     You've taken a job as an adventurer, [16:17] Eris     so I know that danger is     part of the lifestyle... [16:20] Eris     But you were a little too careless this time. [16:22] Kazuma     Um, were the others okay after I died? [16:26] Eris     Yes. [16:27] Eris     Senpai was lying down when it happened, [16:29] Eris     so she was trampled and kicked by     the lizards, and started crying... [16:33] Eris     But as Darkness was holding them back, [16:35] Eris     with the Princess Runner slain,     the rest of the group dispersed. [16:39] Eris     Megumin-san is fine,     thanks to Darkness's protection. [16:42] Eris     Right now, Senpai is repairing your body. [16:46] Kazuma     What a relief! [16:48] Kazuma     In that case, is it okay if I     wait here with you for a bit? [16:52] Eris     That's fine, but... you seem awfully calm. [16:56] Kazuma     Well, I've been through     this a few times already. [17:10] Kazuma     Don't you get bored in this big, empty room? [17:13] Eris     If I'm bored, [17:15] Eris     then that means everyone is safe and well. [17:18] Eris     So having nothing to do is ideal for me. [17:22] Kazuma     What is this? Oh, man. My chest hurts... [17:25] Kazuma     That's it! [17:27] Kazuma     This is what my life in a     parallel world was lacking! [17:32] Kazuma     They're all good-looking enough, [17:36] Kazuma     as far as looks go, anyway... [17:39] Kazuma     But I'm not after sex appeal. [17:41] Kazuma     I want a kind, sensible girl! [17:44] Kazuma     Yes! This is where my     main heroine was hidden! [17:48] Eris     To be honest, I'm not here all the time. [17:53] Eris     Every now and then, I sneak off     to the surface to have some fun. [17:56] Eris     That's a secret between us, okay? [18:02] Aqua     Kazuma! Kazuma, can you hear me? [18:05] Aqua     I cast Resurrection,     so you can come back now. [18:09] Aqua     Have Eris open the gate! [18:12] Kazuma     I'll be back a little later! [18:14] Kazuma     I want to talk with Eris-sama a bit! [18:17] Kazuma     Just keep my body safe! [18:21] Aqua     What?! Quit being stupid and     get your butt back here! [18:25] Aqua     Hurry and level up so you can beat the Devil     King and get me back to the heavenly realm! [18:30] Kazuma     The Devil King, huh? [18:32] Kazuma     If I come back to life,     will I really be able to accomplish [18:35] Kazuma     something as ridiculous as defeating     the Devil King with those three? [18:38] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma! Can you hear me? [18:38] Kazuma     Let's say I do work hard. Will I     develop some strange new power [18:42] Kazuma     that conveniently lets     me beat the Devil King? [18:42] Aqua     Eris, what did you say to him? [18:44] Kazuma     I'm pretty sure this harsh world     won't make it that easy. [18:44] Aqua     Kazuma, don't worry about what the     goddess of padded chests has to say! [18:47] Kazuma     I'm probably going to die many more times. [18:47] Aqua     There's no way of telling     what else she's lying about! [18:50] Kazuma     And what do I even stand     to gain for my efforts? [18:51] Aqua     She's probably as phony about other stuff     as she is her boobs, so be careful! [18:55] Aqua     If you want, I can tell you     even crazier things about her! [18:55] Eris     Um, Kazuma-san— [18:58] Aqua     The padded goddess down there actually— [19:00] Kazuma     Hey, Aqua! [19:02] Kazuma     I'm sick of life, so I'm gonna be     reborn and start over as a baby. [19:07] Kazuma     Give the others my regards! [19:11] Aqua     What are you even talking about?!     Wait just a minute! [19:15] Kazuma     Well, that being the case,     if you could help me out here... [19:18] Kazuma     I don't want to be too selfish, [19:20] Kazuma     but I'd like to be born as a man again. [19:22] Kazuma     Also, I'd like a family with a pretty older     stepsister and a cute younger stepsister! [19:27] Eris     W-W-Wait a second! [19:30] Aqua     Kazuma, Darkness says she's gonna doodle     on your face if you don't come back soon! [19:35] Aqua     She's got a pen in her hand     and looks really excited! [19:38] Kazuma     Th-That's not enough to     make me change my mind. [19:41] Kazuma     I'm already dead! Do whatever you want. [19:44] Aqua     Megumin, what are you doing? What are     you doing with Kazuma's clothes? [19:47] Aqua     Huh? Megumin? Wait... Megumin?! [19:49] Kazuma     Hey! Cut it out!     What are you doing to my body?! [19:52] Kazuma     You shouldn't mess around with     dead bodies! It's bad karma! [19:55] Aqua     Megumin! Megumin?! [19:57] Aqua     Kazuma-san! Come back! Come back, now! [20:00] Kazuma     Hey, cut it out! [20:01] Kazuma     Aqua, stop Megumin! Stop— [20:03] Kazuma     Eris-sama, please, open the gate! [20:14] Eris     Well, Kazuma-san... [20:15] Eris     I'll be praying you don't     find your way back here. [20:19] Kazuma     Eris-sama... I... [20:21] Eris     Have a safe trip. [20:24] Kazuma     I don't mind if they're padded! [20:34] Kazuma     Hey. What're you doing? [20:37] Kazuma     Apart from your explosion     obsession and goofy name, [20:39] Kazuma     I figured you had more common     sense than the other two. [20:42] Kazuma     What the hell did you do to me? [20:45] Megumin     If you have some problem with     my name, then let's hear it. [20:48] Megumin     I did it because you made that     dumb joke about not coming back. [20:52] Megumin     The next time you try     something that foolish, [20:54] Megumin     it's gonna be even worse, you hear? [21:05] Aqua     You'd better not expect a sacred goddess     like me to explain what she did. [21:09] Kazuma     Seriously, what did she do to me? [21:21] Kazuma     Kinda feels like... [21:31] Kazuma     Megumin! Where the hell is Megumin?! [21:34] Darkness     She said she'd be staying at     Yunyun's place for a few days— [21:38] Kazuma     Pipe down! [21:38] Aqua     Y'know, Kazuma... [21:39] Kazuma     What?! [21:40] Aqua     Self-esteem is a good thing, [21:42] Aqua     but I have to question this     kind of self-flattery. [21:44] Kazuma     S-Stupid! [21:46] Kazuma     You were there when     Megumin wrote this on me! [21:50] Kazuma     Damn it all! [21:52] Kazuma     What exactly are you calling     the holy sword Excalibur?! SIGN    To Funifura-san and Dodonko-san in the Crimson Demon Village. How are you doing? I'm doing well. Right now, I'm an adventurer with some friends in the town of Axel. Our members consist of an adventurer who is just starting out, an arch priest girl, and a crusader girl. It's true. Also, Megumin has no friends. I'd hate to end up like that. -Yunyun SIGN    Episode 7 SIGN    An Invitation for This Knucklehead! [23:32] Yunyun     To Funifura-san and Dodonko-san     in the Crimson Demon Village. [23:34] Yunyun     How are you doing? I'm doing well. [23:37] Yunyun     Right now, I'm an adventurer with     some friends in the town of— E7 - An Invitation for This Knucklehead! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:08] A     I've made some of the finest     quality tea, Kazuma-san. [00:12] K     Quite. [00:18] K     This is hot water. [00:19] A     Oh, how careless of me. [00:23] K     Could it perhaps be that     you purified the tea? [00:26] A     I'm ever so sorry, Kazuma-san. [00:28] K     We simply need to remake the tea. [00:30] K     Thank you, Aqua. I'll finish this as it is. [00:35] K     Yes, it's hot water! [00:37] M     You're freaking me out! SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Episode 7 An Invitation for This Knucklehead! [02:11] M     I'll apologize for what     happened the other day! [02:13] M     So please, turn back to normal, Kazuma! [02:16] K     The other day? [02:18] (Flashback) K     What exactly are you calling     the holy sword Excalibur?! [02:22] K     Oh, that matter. [02:24] K     The wealthy don't have     time for such quibbles. [02:26] K     That aside, would you care to     join us for tea, Megumin? [02:30] K     We've happened upon some fine tea leaves. [02:33] M     I'm so sorry! So please, turn back to normal! [02:37] M     You're being really creepy right now! [02:40] K     I have no idea what you mean. [02:42] K     I'm acting the same as I always do. [02:44] A     The finest quality tea is ready     once again, Kazuma-san. [02:52] K     This is also hot water. [02:55] K     You must have purified it again. [02:56] A     Oh, my. How careless of me! [03:02] K     No matter. It simply needs to be remade again. [03:04] K     Thank you, Aqua. I'll finish this as it is. [03:09] D     What happened was... [03:10] (Flashback) K     That little loli brat! [03:12] (Flashback) K     When she gets back, I'll skin her alive! [03:14] (Flashback) K     I swear! I swear I will! [03:17] (Flashback) K     I'll put her through something     that'll even make someone [03:20] (Flashback) K     as tough as her squirm     and cry for forgiveness! [03:22] (Flashback) D     R-Really? [03:23] (Flashback) D     And what exactly is this thing that will     make even Megumin cry for mercy? [03:26] (Flashback) A     Would you pipe down? It's too early. [03:28] (Flashback) A     Why can't you all be as composed as I am? [03:31] (Flashback) A     I haven't even moved from     this spot since yesterday, [03:34] (Flashback) A     apart from taking a bath. [03:36] (Flashback) K     I don't wanna hear criticism from the     failure who's vegging out all day long! [03:40] (Flashback) K     Damn it! I'm gonna make her pay! [03:42] (Flashback) K     I can already picture her sweet tears! [03:46] (Flashback) D     Could you explain exactly why     she'll be crying, though?! [03:51] (Flashback) K     There she is! [03:53] (Flashback) D     Details— [03:53] (Flashback) K     Megumin, you little— [03:57] (Flashback) V     Did you think it was the crazy     little Crimson Demon girl? [04:00] (Flashback) V     How unfortunate! It is I! [04:02] (Flashback) V     With my shrewd eye for business, [04:04] (Flashback) V     I've come to negotiate a deal in     the place of my dimwitted shopkeep! [04:07] (Flashback) V     Now, prostrate yourself     with joy at my arrival, [04:10] (Flashback) V     and show me that which you would     have us sell in our establishment! [04:14] (Flashback) A     Hey, wait one second...     How'd you get inside the mansion? [04:18] (Flashback) V     Oh, that puny thing? [04:21] (Flashback) V     Was that supposed to be a barrier? [04:24] (Flashback) V     It was incredibly weak. [04:26] (Flashback) V     I thought it was a failed experiment     by some fledgling priest! [04:31] (Flashback) V     Oh, how rude of me! [04:32] (Flashback) V     It seems that, with my immense strength, [04:34] (Flashback) V     simply passing through it was     enough to make it collapse! [04:40] (Flashback) A     Oh, my! [04:41] (Flashback) A     Your body seems to be on the verge of     collapse, Mr. Immensely Strong Demon! [04:47] (Flashback) A     Whatever will we do? [04:48] (Flashback) A     Aren't you supposed to be a duke of Hell? [04:51] (Flashback) A     And to think, that little barrier     could put you in this state! [04:55] (Flashback) V     This body is merely animated earth. [04:58] (Flashback) V     There are countless replacements. [05:00] (Flashback) V     I just found myself curious about that     flimsy thing posted around the mansion. [05:04] (Flashback) V     I suppose, for the botched work of a     fledgling priest, it was quite impressive. [05:09] (Flashback) V     For a barrier created by a     human, beginner priest, that is! [05:14] (Flashback) K     Guys, why don't we calm down a little? [05:18] (Flashback) A     Hey, Kazuma. [05:19] (Flashback) K     Yeah? [05:19] (Flashback) A     Were you building that kotatsu and whatever     else to do business with this thing? [05:24] (Flashback) K     Yeah... [05:24] (Flashback) A     With a parasite who has to suck on negative     human emotions to barely manage existing? [05:29] (K     You look pretty sinister yourself right now. [05:29] (Flashback) A     Oh, gosh! It's so funny, I forgot to laugh! [05:33] (K     But you are laughing. [05:34] (Flashback) V     We demons are particular about contracts, [05:37] (Flashback) V     so you can trust I'll fulfill things on my end. [05:39] (Flashback) V     I'm not like those who say,     "Believe in me and be saved," [05:41] (Flashback) V     and seek to prey on the pure of heart... [05:43] (Flashback) V     Gathering believers with     sweet, hollow promises, [05:45] (Flashback) V     only to then collect a tithe as a means     of robbing them of their money! [05:50] (Flashback) V     What was their catchphrase again? [05:53] (Flashback) V     Oh, right... [05:54] (Flashback) V     "God is always watching over you," I believe? [05:59] (Flashback) V     Well, my goodness! It turns out... [06:01] (Flashback) V     I may have borne witness to this     god, based on that description! [06:05] (Flashback) V     He was arrested for peeping! [06:07] (Flashback) V     Perhaps this fellow who was watching over     toilets and bath houses with a tepid gaze [06:11] (Dust     You've got it all wrong! [06:11] (Flashback) V     was actually a god? [06:18] (Flashback) A     Sacred Exorcism! [06:20] (Flashback) K     Watch it! [06:23] (Flashback) Vanir     And a-shedding I go! [06:31] (Flashback) A     This is it, right? This is your real body?! [06:33] (Flashback) A     Now what're you going to     do?! What can you do?! [06:37] (Flashback) V     Even if you destroy this mask— [06:39] (Flashback) V     See here, cut that out! Don't try     to take it off while I'm talking! [06:40] (K     Hey, easy there! [06:42] K     Would you two calm down? [06:43] (Flashback) V     Let me finish what I was saying first! [06:45] K     KONOSUBA! [06:47] (Flashback) V     Let's begin the meeting, then. [06:49] (Flashback) V     We'd previously agreed on     splitting the profits, but... [06:54] (Flashback) V     How about it, boy? [06:55] (Flashback) V     Would you care to sell the intellectual     property rights to these designs instead? [06:59] (Flashback) V     I'll buy them for three hundred million eris. [07:01] (Flashback) Trio     Three hundred million?! [07:02] (Flashback) K     That's... enough to live on without     needing a job, isn't it? [07:06] (Flashback) V     If you'd prefer monthly profit sharing,     I can offer you one million eris a month. [07:09] (Flashback) Trio     A million a month?! [07:11] (Flashback) K     There's no guarantee they'll     sell indefinitely, though... [07:13] (Flashback) K     Is it wiser to take the     three hundred mil? [07:15] (Flashback) K     But wait... [07:16] (Flashback) K     With a million a month, we wouldn't have to     worry about slowly depleting a single sum. [07:21] (Flashback) V     Well, you can take your time considering it. [07:21] K     A million a month? [07:23] (Flashback) (A     I'm worried about things at the     store, so I'll be taking my leave. [07:23] (A     The amount of fancy bubbly     I could buy with that... [07:27] (Flashback) A     And I'm worried about your nasty     stench stinking up my holy abode! [07:30] (Flashback) A     Get out! Hurry up and get lost! [07:38] K     It's hot water again. [07:40] A     Oh, how silly of me! [07:43] D     And they've been like that ever since. [07:44] (K     Why don't you try making it again? [07:46] M     That explains the phony air of wealth. [07:47] (K     You can be so silly! [07:49] M     Well, it's wonderful that     we have more money now. [07:51] M     Anyway, why don't we     go take on a kill quest? [07:54] K     Huh? Oh, please. What are you saying? [07:57] K     Why should I bother working when I'm     on the verge of making a fortune? [08:03] K     I mean, I put together good gear,     made a plan, and took on a quest, [08:07] K     and I still ended up dying again! [08:08] K     I've decided that I'll make my living     doing business from now on. [08:11] K     No more dangerous adventurer stuff!     Time for a nice, room-temperature life! [08:15] A     Say, Kazuma-san, that would     actually be a bit of a problem. [08:19] A     If you don't defeat the Devil King,     it would actually be a real problem for me. [08:22] K     In that case, why don't     we make a ton of money [08:25] K     and hire some incredibly strong adventurers?! [08:27] K     Then we'll have them help     us defeat the Devil King! [08:30] K     We conquer the Devil King's castle     leading an army of adventurers! [08:34] K     How about it?! It actually sounds     plausible for once, doesn't it?! [08:36] A     That's it! Nice one, Kazuma-san! [08:39] A     I can see you slapping [08:40] A     adventurers' faces with wads of     cash as you order them around, [08:42] A     and stealing the finishing blow after     they've weakened the Devil King enough! [08:48] K     That's exactly it! [08:49] K     I guess knowing me the longest     means you know me the best! [08:55] Megumin     Using the power of money     to defeat the Devil King... [08:57] Megumin     I can't accept it! I refuse to! [09:00] Megumin     What exactly do you think the Devil King is?! [09:03] Megumin     A force like the Devil King is meant to be     fought by awakening to a hidden power, [09:07] Megumin     and then defeating him     after an epic final battle! [09:09] Megumin     And what do I hear you talking about?!     Just hiring strong adventurers to defeat him?! [09:13] Megumin     Come on, Darkness,     say something to— Darkness? [09:17] D     Oh, it's just, seeing Kazuma gradually     becoming more and more pathetic [09:21] D     got me wondering just how big a     scumbag he'll be in the future... [09:25] M     Ugh! What am I supposed to do?! [09:27] K     Don't group me with the pervert over there. [09:30] K     Anyway, I died of a broken neck, remember? [09:33] K     Just let me relax until I've healed fully. [09:37] M     I understand. Why don't we see     to healing your injury, then? [09:41] K     Eh, it's fine. If I just slack     off long enough, it'll heal. [09:43] (D     Oh, boy! [09:45] M     Let's go right away! [09:47] M     We'll head to the city of water     and hot springs, Arcanretia! [09:50] K     Don't mind my injury— [09:52] K     Did you say hot springs? [09:54] A     Did you just say Arcanretia? [09:56] A     Did you say we're going to Arcanretia,     the city of water and hot springs? [10:00] K     H-Hot springs, eh? [10:02] K     I guess we're all exhausted from     fighting so many tough enemies, [10:06] K     so it can't hurt to splurge     a bit on a hot springs trip. [10:09] A     Kazuma-san, why did you sound     so monotone saying that? [10:12] A     KO! [10:13] A     NOSUBA! [10:15] A     Is everybody ready? [10:17] K     You bet! I'm all set to go! [10:19] K     Man, how long do those two plan     to sleep? And they call us losers! [10:25] A     I'm gonna go wake them up. [10:28] A     Kazuma, head to where     we're boarding the wagons [10:30] A     and secure the best seats! [10:32] K     All right, got it! [10:36] V     Hey, welcome! [10:37] V     Oh? What brings you by so early? [10:40] K     Going on a little hot springs trip. [10:42] K     So, about our deal... [10:44] K     It'll have to wait until I get back. [10:46] V     Is that all? [10:48] V     Well, take the chance to relax and enjoy     your anticipation of mixed bathing. [10:52] K     I-I-I'm not anticipating that! [10:55] K     I just wanted to go because     my neck still hurts... [10:59] K     Wait, why is Wiz all burnt up? [11:05] (Flashback) V     What... in the world?! [11:07] (Flashback) Wiz     These things are really amazing! [11:10] (Flashback) Wiz     They'll sell! I'm sure     they'll fly off the shelves! [11:12] (Flashback) Wiz     So, Vanir-san, please stop     making your way toward me [11:16] (Flashback) Wiz     while preparing a Murder Ray! [11:22] V     So I was loading these pieces of junk     into boxes, hoping to return them. [11:27] V     Wanna buy one? [11:28] K     What is it? Some kind of magic item? [11:30] V     It's a portable toilet accessory that lets     you deal with nature's call while on the road. [11:34] V     It even uses running water to grant     a degree of privacy by making sound. [11:38] K     What the heck?! That's awesome! [11:39] K     Its flaw is that the sound it creates to mask     your business is so loud, it attracts monsters, [11:44] K     and the mechanism for generating water is so     powerful that it causes a localized disaster. [11:49] K     Does nothing in this store     work without any problems?! [11:54] V     Unfortunately, the dimwitted owner [11:55] V     has a unique gift when it comes to     stocking completely useless merchandise. [12:00] V     As soon as I take my eyes off her,     she purchases the most bizarre things... [12:05] V     Actually, boy, you said you were     going to the hot springs, didn't you? [12:15] Vendors     Anyone hungry? [12:17] A     Hey! I told you to go     ahead and save us seats! [12:21] A     Wait, what's that on your back? [12:25] A     KONOSUBA! [12:27] YY     Can you wrap this as a gift? [12:30] Vendor     Sure thing! [12:32] YY     E-Excuse me! [12:34] YY     Now, today we settle our vendetta, Megumin! [12:38] YY     Prepare yourself! [12:42] YY     H-Hello? [12:45] A     Babysitting, huh? [12:47] A     Well, that's fine. [12:48] A     But she's kind of fading away. [12:52] K     Hey! Is she gonna be okay?! [12:54] K     Healing magic... wait, that'd have     the opposite effect on the undead! [12:58] D     A trip... [13:00] D     Father once took me to the capital     when I was a chi— Aiiieee! [13:08] W     Huh? [13:09] W     Oh, it's Kazuma-san. [13:10] K     It was an emergency! [13:13] K     You're the one with the most     vitality in this group! [13:16] A     Hey, Kazuma! [13:18] A     Let's take this wagon! [13:20] A     From the look of it,     it's the most comfortable! [13:23] A     By the way, I get a window seat. [13:25] A     I reserve the seat with the     best view of the scenery! [13:27] A     Go on, Kazuma, buy our tickets! [13:29] A     Make it quick so no one else     can buy the seats on that wagon! [13:38] A     Hey, mister, why is one seat already filled? [13:41] A     What is this? [13:42] Driver     That's a baby red dragon, miss. [13:45] Driver     I was already paid for a single seat, so... [13:48] Driver     It'll be uncomfortable, but one of you     will have to bear with riding in the back. [13:54] K     In that case... [13:56] A     Rock-paper-scissors! [13:57] A     I think rock-paper-scissors is the     best way to handle such things! [14:01] W     Um, if that's the case, I can just sit in the— [14:04] K     No, Wiz. Let's give everyone a chance. [14:06] K     Sounds good, Aqua. Rock-paper-scissors, huh? [14:09] A     Okay, here we go! [14:11] A     Rock-paper-scissors! [14:14] K     Looks like I'm clear. [14:15] A     Wait! [14:16] A     No one said it was by elimination! [14:19] A     The five of us play until     a single loser is decided! [14:23] K     You wanna just play against me, then? [14:25] K     We'll play three times, and if I lose     even once, I'll sit in the back. [14:30] A     You're serious? [14:31] K     Yep. [14:31] A     So, do you even know     how probability works? [14:33] K     Yep. [14:34] A     It's next to impossible for     you to win three in a row! [14:39] K     Well, I've never lost at     rock-paper-scissors. [14:45] A     This isn't right! Something's wrong! [14:47] A     You cheated, didn't you?! Please,     one more! Just one more time! [14:49] K     You mean it? This is the last time. [14:52] A     You accepted! You accepted,     didn't you, Kazuma?! [14:55] A     I don't know how you're cheating, [14:57] A     but if you want to play that way,     I have a trick up my sleeve, too! [15:00] A     Blessing! [15:02] K     Hey, that's dirty! You buffed     your luck with magic! [15:05] A     Hey, luck is a factor in skill! [15:07] A     And magic skill is a factor in luck! [15:09] A     Now, here we go! Rock-paper-scissors! [15:13] A     Why?! [15:15] K     Even when I was a kid, I never     lost at rock-paper-scissors. [15:18] A     You coward! What is that?! No fair! [15:20] A     It's cheating! Some kind of cheating ability! [15:23] A     You were born with a special ability?! [15:26] A     Then that cancels out the gracious     help I've been offering to you! [15:30] A     Send me back! Send me back to the     heavenly realm, you dirty cheat! [15:34] K     Hey, you little bitch! [15:36] K     Are you saying my special ability is     being able to win at rock-paper-scissors?! [15:38] K     Are you an idiot?! How is that     gonna help me fight monsters?! [15:42] A     But, but... [15:43] K     And the thing that pisses me off the most [15:45] K     is the fact that you describe what     you've been doing as "gracious help"! [15:48] K     Cut the crap! Gracious, my ass! [15:51] K     If I could trade you in for a special power, [15:53] K     I would've done it a long time ago! [15:59] A     Kazuma, I can't believe you went there! [16:01] A     Stop it! Quit pulling on my cheeks! [16:05] Driver     The caravan to Arcanretia is pulling out. [17:15] K     I guess this is new, even for     the lady of a noble house. [17:24] M     Chomusuke is still cuter. [17:27] K     I never thought I'd be going on     a trip like this in this world. [17:33] K     It's not bad. [17:34] A     Kazuma-san! [17:36] A     My butt hurts like crazy! [17:39] A     Can someone switch with me now? [17:45] K     We'll move to a different     wagon when we get to a stop. [17:47] K     Hang in there until then. [17:49] A     Aww, man! [17:58] K     Foresight. [18:02] K     What is that? [18:04] K     Excuse me. [18:04] Driver     Yes? [18:05] K     There's a dust cloud headed     in this direction... [18:09] K     Do you know what it might be? [18:11] Driver     Well, now... I can't see it, [18:14] Driver     but around here, the only thing     that'd kick up a cloud of dust [18:17] Driver     would have to be a pack of Lizard Runners. [18:20] Driver     But they say the Princess Runner     was killed the other day, [18:24] Driver     so it might just be a Sandwhale     kicking up some sand. [18:28] Driver     The only other thing is...     maybe some Running Hawk Kites. [18:31] Driver     Running Hawk Kites? [18:32] Driver     I'm not being confusing on purpose, sir. [18:35] Driver     These are some dangerous monsters. [18:37] Driver     When the mating season starts,     to get the attention of females, [18:41] Driver     the males compete in a mating     ritual like a chicken race. [18:44] (Megumin     That settles it! You win! [18:44] Driver     They charge straight at the     hardest thing they can find, [18:46] Driver     and only turn away at the last second. [18:49] Driver     Well, they'll probably just charge into     some nearby rock. Nothing to worry about. [18:53] K     That's a relief, then! [19:01] K     They do seem to be headed     this way at quite a clip... [19:05] Driver     Oh, those are definitely     Running Hawk Kites. [19:08] Driver     But it'd be strange for     them to head toward us. [19:11] Driver     Maybe, somewhere in the caravan, [19:13] Driver     there's a load of some incredibly     hard mineral, like adamantite! [19:19] Driver     Huh? They do seem to be headed this way... [19:21] Driver     Toward this wagon, actually... [19:24] K     Hard as adamantite? [19:27] K     Hey, Dark— [19:28] D     Kazuma, Kazuma! [19:29] D     A bunch of incredibly fast creatures     are headed right this way! [19:32] D     And it feels like their gaze is fixed on me! [19:35] D     They look so intense! [19:37] K     It was you?! [19:38] Driver     Sir, I need to stop the wagon! [19:41] Driver     The adventurer guards will     protect you and the wagon! [19:45] K     I'm sorry our crusader is so hard. [19:48] K     Hey, Darkness! Those monsters are after you! [19:51] K     They charge at the hardest     thing they can find! [19:53] K     They're after your rock-hard muscles! [19:56] D     Now, Kazuma. In spite of     it all, I'm still a woman. [19:59] D     Don't call my muscles hard. [20:01] D     I know what it is. My armor is     partially composed of adamantite. [20:06] D     I'm sure that's what's attracting them. [20:09] D     It's true! Don't give me that look! [20:12] D     My body isn't that hard! [20:14] K     Megumin, Aqua, we're up! [20:16] K     We don't really need to fight this time, [20:18] K     but it's kind of our fault     they're headed this way! [20:20] K     We need to clean up our own mess! [20:23] Wiz     I'll help, too! [20:25] K     Stay in the wagon and     protect the driver, Wiz! [20:28] W     Okay! [20:29] Driver     Sir! Sir, you're paying for the trip! [20:32] Driver     Wait somewhere safe! [20:33] K     I'm sorry. One of our party caused this. [20:37] Driver     Adventurers, if you please! [20:40] Adventurers     Leave... [20:41] Adventurers     ...this... [20:41] Adventurers     ...to... [20:42] Adventurers     ...us! [20:48] K     Megumin, get some explosion magic ready! [20:51] M     Understood! [20:53] Adventurer     You, crusader! You're not one     of the guards, so stay back! [20:57] Adventurer     Hey, it looks like the monsters [20:59] Adventurer     are headed straight for that crusader! [21:02] Adventurer     That's Decoy! [21:04] Adventurer     Crusaders have a skill called Decoy that lets     them attract the attention of monsters! [21:07] Adventurer     She's not one of the guards,     but she's taking on all of the monsters! [21:12] K     I'm sorry. She's not using that skill. [21:14] Adv     She's facing all those monsters     without backing down at all! [21:17] Adv     She's so brave! [21:19] K     I'm sorry. I don't think bravery     has anything to do with it. [21:22] Adv     She's not even being paid! [21:23] Adv     Adventurer or not, we can't expose     one of the passengers to danger! [21:27] Adv     I'll back her up! Bind! [21:29] D     What? [21:37] Adv     No way... [21:38] Adv     Did she block the Bind because she knew     they'd turn on me if I had hit them?! [21:43] ---     Gulp... [21:45] Adv     I'm sorry! I was trying to help,     but I only got in the way! [21:49] Adv     Forgive me! Forgive me! [21:53] K     I'm so sorry! [21:55] K     I'm so sorry about our party member! [21:56] ---     It hurts... [21:56] K     I am so, so sorry for the     trouble our pervert caused! SIGN    To my dear friends Funifura-san and Dodonko-san. Thank you for your response. I'm doing well. Regarding the friends I mentioned in my letter, they really do exist. Honestly. So please stop saying it's impossible for someone who has social anxiety to make friends, and demanding the truth. You're hurting my feelings. Yunyun SIGN    Episode 8 SIGN    Sightseeing in This Pitiful City! [23:31] Yunyun     To my dear friends Funifura-san     and Dodonko-san. [23:34] Yunyun     Thank you for your response. I'm doing well. [23:37] Yunyun     Regarding the friends I mentioned     in my letter, they really do ex— E8 - Sightseeing in This Pitiful City! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] K     A chicken race. [00:03] K     A game of speed in which     competitors charge at an obstacle [00:06] K     at full speed, dodging only at the last second, [00:09] K     to demonstrate courage. [00:12] K     And right now, she has been chosen as     the obstacle in this dangerous game. [00:17] D     Oh, boy! Here they come, here they come! [00:20] D     K-Kazuma, this time...     this time I'm surely done for! [00:23] D     Oh, they're gonna ram me! [00:35] D     Kazuma! Do you suppose this     counts as a type of teasing? [00:38] D     This sensation of almost being     struck is quite something! [00:41] D     Unbelievable. Males in heat are     leaping over me, one after another! [00:47] K     Stop it! There are people watching!     Don't say another word! SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Episode 8 Sightseeing in This Pitiful City! [02:21] A     Blessing! [02:25] D     Oh, don't bother with me! [02:30] K     We shouldn't need to worry     about Darkness now. [02:32] A     All thanks to my Blessing! [02:34] K     Yeah, yeah. [02:35] K     When we're done here, you can have my seat. [02:37] A     Yes! [02:39] Advs     Lightning! [02:40] Advs     Blade of Wind! [02:42] Advs     Fireball! [02:57] K     They're still coming?! [02:58] D     All right! [03:02] K     Pops, are there any cliffs around here?! [03:04] Driver     Nothing of the sort! [03:06] Driver     Closest thing is a cave we use     for shelter from the heat! [03:09] K     A cave? That works! Take us there! [03:11] K     Megumin, Aqua! Get in the wagon! [03:14] K     Come on, Darkness— [03:16] K     So heavy... Can't lift... [03:18] D     Don't say I'm heavy! [03:21] D     You have to specify that     my armor is too heavy! [03:24] D     Just tie me to the wagon with     a rope and drag me along. [03:28] D     It's an emergency! No way around it! [03:30] D     Don't hold back! You have no choice! [03:33] Driver     Sir, you'd better hurry! [03:35] Driver     We can't wait much longer! [03:37] K     Let me know if it's too much, Darkness! [03:39] K     We'll let you loose! [03:41] D     Being tied to a cart and dragged by horses... [03:44] D     Not only that, but while in that state,     I'll be chased by a bunch of lus— [04:00] D     Kazuma! This is good! So good! [04:01] D     Don't yell my name in that context! [04:02] D     It's a new discovery,     being treated as luggage like this! [04:05] A     I knew you were a brute, Kazuma,     but this might be going too far... [04:11] K     I-It wasn't my idea! It was Darkness! [04:14] Driver     Sir, they're gonna catch us at this rate! [04:19] K     Crap! Pops, how far to the cave? [04:21] Driver     Need more time! [04:22] Both     We're done for! [04:24] Wiz     Bottomless Swamp! [04:32] K     Thanks, Wiz! [04:37] D     For a noble to be in such     a disheveled state... [04:41] D     No! Stop it! Don't look, Kazuma! [04:43] D     Don't look at the seedy sight     of me being treated so roughly! [04:48] A     Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal! [04:51] A     Darkness! Hang in there! [04:53] M     Kazuma! The cave is within sight! [04:56] M     I'm ready to fire my magic anytime! [04:58] K     All right! [04:59] K     Pops, stop the wagon to the     side of the cave's opening! [05:02] Driver     Okay! [05:03] K     Aqua, I need support magic     to boost my strength! [05:06] A     Got it! [05:07] A     Powered! [05:12] K     Snipe! Snipe! Snipe! Snipe! [05:26] K     I see... [05:28] K     And I was starting to     wonder just what made [05:30] K     these Running Hawk Kites     "kites" of any kind. [05:32] K     That clears it up. [05:33] Driver     Hang on tight, folks! [05:36] K     Got it! [06:01] D     Not bad! This treatment isn't bad at all! [06:03] D     I should've expected as much from Kazuma!     Roughed up and then used as monster bait— [06:12] K     Megumin! [06:13] M     Explosion! [06:28] Chef     Now, everyone, eat up! [06:30] Chef     This turned out great, so help yourself! [06:32] Chef     I have to say, that was impressive! [06:34] Chef     To think you had a magic user powerful     enough to use explosion magic! [06:38] Chef     And an arch priest able to treat all     the injured with no trouble! [06:43] Chef     Facing down that pack of Running Hawk Kites [06:46] Chef     without backing down, all on her own!     Such a courageous crusader! [06:49] Chef     And being able to used advanced magic     to slow them down with that swamp magic! [06:52] Chef     Not to mention the inspired decision to     lure the enemy into the cave so that [06:57] Chef     they could be dealt with all at once! [06:59] Chef     I am quite impressed! [07:01] K     Please stop, seriously. [07:03] K     It's not like that at all. This is our fault. [07:06] Chef     This is just to show my     gratitude. Here, please. [07:09] K     No, no, no, no! It's totally fine! Really! [07:12] Chef     What are you saying? [07:14] Chef     It was your group that defeated     the Running Hawk Kites! [07:17] K     As adventurers, it's only natural     we contribute to the battle. [07:20] Chef     Remarkable! [07:22] Chef     To think that true adventurers like you     people still exist in this harsh world! [07:28] K     I can't accept a reward     for a problem we caused! [07:31] K     KONOSUBA! [07:33] Advs     Can you pull it off?! [07:42] A     Thank you, thank you! [07:59] K     You guys are making this very awkward. [08:02] M     Nah, I was just impressed     with how well you were doing. [08:05] D     Something about seeing my     armor being repaired first-hand [08:09] D     is exciting to watch. [08:11] K     I'm glad the smithing skills I learned     for product development came in handy. [08:16] Crowd     Again! Do that trick again! [08:18] Crowd     I'll pay if I have to!     So please, one more time! [08:22] K     She could probably make a living     doing this sort of thing. [08:42] K     Hey, wake up, Megumin! Something's weird! [08:48] K     Hey! Megumin, Wiz, wake up! [08:51] K     Otherwise I'm gonna do something that'll     make it hard to look me in the eye... [08:54] K     You don't mind? It's fine, then? [08:56] D     Of course it's not! [08:57] D     What were you going to do? [09:00] K     Hey, don't scare me like that! [09:02] K     I was about to do something     crazy in front of you! [09:05] D     Seriously, what were you going to do? [09:08] D     No, that's not important now. [09:10] Crowd     Hey, there's something out there! [09:12] Crowd     Everyone, wake up! [09:17] K     And... Foresight. [09:23] K     There's a lot of them!     But they're moving stiffly... [09:36] K     Handle things here! I'll get Aqua! [09:39] K     Now's our chance to pay everyone back! [09:41] K     After the trouble we caused when the Running     Hawk Kites were attracted to Darkness— [09:47] A     What is this?! Why am I surrounded     by undead the second I wake up?! [09:50] A     Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! [09:53] K     Wait. Is this... [09:57] A     Trying to attack us while we sleep?!     Pretty sneaky of you, undead! [10:00] A     Oh, wandering souls, rest in peace! [10:03] A     Turn Undead! [10:18] D     Hang in there, Wiz! [10:19] D     Someone! Wiz is... [10:20] Crowd     Amazing! She got all those zombies at once! [10:23] Crowd     Awesome! [10:24] K     I'm sorry. [10:27] A     Your luck ran out when you ran into me! [10:29] A     Now, I'll purify every last one of you! [10:33] K     I'm sorry. [10:34] Crowd     Such a beautiful priest! [10:37] Crowd     She's like a goddess! [10:39] Crowd     She's from that crusader's party! [10:42] K     I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. [10:44] K     I'm so sorry for everything     my friends keep causing. [10:47] Crowd     It's pretty rare to see a     pack of attacking zombies. [10:50] Crowd     Good thing we had that priest with us! [10:54] K     I'm sorry. [10:56] K     If our goddess wasn't here, [10:57] K     these zombies probably wouldn't     have shown up in the first place. [11:02] A     Well, Kazuma? Was that goddess-like or what? [11:05] A     I have to say, I have been     really nailing it lately! [11:08] A     It wouldn't kill you to     make an offering, y'know! [11:12] Guy     Wow, you've saved us again! [11:15] Guy     This time, please, accept this reward! [11:18] K     I'm sorry! We absolutely can not accept! [11:23] YY     Can you wrap this up as a gift? [11:25] Butcher     Sure thing. [11:27] YY     E-Excuse me! [11:29] YY     W-We're finally going to duel today, Megumin! [11:32] YY     This is just a little something from me!     You can all enjoy it together! [11:37] YY     H-Hello? [11:47] A     Hey, look over there! [12:07] A     We're here! The city of water     and hot springs, Arcanretia! [12:26] K     Wow! Elves and dwarves! [12:29] K     Now this is really fantastical! [12:32] D     The scenery is completely     different from Axel... [12:37] D     And the air is so clean. [12:39] Vendor     Steamed buns! Care for a steamed bun? [12:42] M     Those are a local specialty, Arcan steamed buns. [12:45] M     They're supposed to be quite tasty! [12:47] K     I'm impressed you know that, Megumin. [12:49] M     Arcanretia is famous among     adventurers as a health resort. [12:53] M     The curative effects of the hot springs     here are said to be extraordinary! [12:56] ---     Yeah? [12:58] D     My father took me to several     different towns in the past, [13:02] D     but this place is more     beautiful than any of them. [13:05] D     This should be a good hot springs trip. [13:08] K     If they're all like this, maybe we should've     been visiting different towns all this time. [13:13] Driver     Well, enjoy your holiday, folks! [13:16] K     Thanks, Pops! [13:19] M     Aww... Jarippa. [13:21] M     Jarippa is being taken away! [13:24] K     She gave something a     weird name again... [13:28] A     Come on, everyone! Where should we go? [13:30] A     You can ask me anything you     need to know about this town! [13:32] A     After all, this town is the home of     the Axis Church, which I've blessed! [13:38] K     As in... the Axis cult     that's full of weirdos? [13:41] K     And this is town is its home? [13:44] K     That explains why Aqua wanted to come here. [13:49] Crowd     Welcome to Arcanretia! [13:51] Crowd     Are you tourists? Converts?     Adventurers? Pilgrims? [13:55] Crowd     If you've come looking for work,     might I recommend the Axis Church? [13:58] Crowd     We have a job right now where you can     get paid just to tell other towns [14:01] Crowd     about how wonderful the Axis Church is! [14:03] Crowd     If you accept the position, [14:04] Crowd     you get the bonus of being able to identify     yourself as part of the Axis Church! [14:07] Crowd     How about it? Please, join us! [14:10] Crowd     Such beautiful light blue hair! [14:13] Crowd     Is it natural? I'm jealous!     I'm ever so jealous! [14:16] Crowd     Your raiment is just like     Aqua-sama's, too! It suits you! [14:20] K     W-We should probably     head to an inn for now. [14:22] D     R-Right. Good idea. [14:25] K     We've already got a priest from     the Axis cult with us, so... [14:28] K     Pardon us! [14:30] Crowd     Farewell, comrades! And may     you have a blessed day! [14:34] Crowd     KONOSUBA! [14:44] V     Hey! [14:46] V     Hey! [14:55] V     Come on! Come over here! [15:01] W     Where am I? [15:03] K     Relax. We're already at Arcanretia. [15:07] W     I feel as though I was on the     edge of a beautiful river, [15:09] W     and Verdia-san was happily waving     to me from the other side... [15:15] W     Thank you so much, Kazuma-san. [15:17] K     You should thank Darkness, not me. [15:19] D     I'm glad you've made it back. [15:22] K     I hope that Aqua hasn't     caused some new problem. [15:27] (Flashback) A     I'm gonna go have some fun at the     headquarters of the Axis Church! [15:31] (Flashback) A     Time to be fawned over for     being an arch priest! [15:35] K     I'm worried. [15:37] D     I'm sure it'll be fine.     Megumin went with her. [15:41] K     Really? You think so? [15:44] W     I'm fine now, [15:46] W     so why don't the two of you     take a look around town? [15:48] D     Let's go, Kazuma. I'd love     to get a look at the city. [15:55] D     Look, Kazuma! There's a fountain! [15:58] K     Hey, you're right. [16:00] D     This statue of their goddess is beautiful... [16:03] K     And a sham. [16:10] Girl     My apples... [16:11] K     Are you okay? [16:16] Girl     Thank you so much! [16:17] Girl     You've been a huge help! [16:20] Girl     Um... [16:22] Girl     Can I do anything to thank you? [16:26] K     Huh? Did I just trigger a flag? [16:33] Girl     There's a café run by the     Axis Church just up ahead! [16:36] Girl     Why don't we go there and have a chat? [16:38] K     I'm good, thanks. [16:40] Girl     W-W-Wait a second! [16:42] Girl     I'm actually great at telling fortunes! [16:44] Girl     Why don't you let me read your future? [16:46] K     Th-That's quite all right! [16:48] K     Seriously, it's fine! [16:50] K     L-Let go! [16:53] K     Ow, ow, ow! [16:54] Girl     I've seen your future! [16:56] Girl     Grave misfortune awaits you! [16:58] Girl     But if you convert to the Axis faith,     your misfortune can be avoided! [17:01] Girl     Join us! Why don't you join us? [17:05] K     I'm experiencing misfortune     at this very instant! [17:07] K     Hey, let go! [17:08] K     Darkness, save me! [17:10] D     I'm sorry. [17:12] D     I'm actually a believer in the Eris faith. [17:14] D     If you want to proselytize to him,     you'll have to wait until— [17:27] K     W-Well, you know how it is. [17:30] K     I know that the Axis cult and the     Eris church don't get along too well... [17:33] K     Maybe you should keep your charm hidden. [17:35] K     And don't let it bother you too— [17:38] K     Are you turned on right now? [17:41] D     I am not. [17:42] K     But you just made that "Mmn!" sound. [17:46] D     This place really is the     home of the Axis cult. [17:50] K     Well, there are fewer people around here, [17:52] K     so we should be fine now. [17:54] Woman     Eek! Help me! [17:56] Woman     You there! Please, help me! [17:58] Woman     This violent-looking man,     who's probably an Eris cultist, [18:01] Woman     is trying to force me into his dark ways! [18:05] Guy     Hey, you there! [18:06] Guy     You're not with the Axis Church, are you? [18:09] Guy     If you were as cool and strong as the members     of that faith, I'd have to run away! [18:13] Guy     But if you're not, I'm not gonna hold back! [18:15] Guy     I've received the blessing     of the Dark Goddess Eris! [18:17] Guy     If you wanna get in my way,     then I'll let you have it! [18:20] Woman     Oh, this is horrible! [18:22] Woman     And all I have on me is the paperwork     for joining the Axis Church! [18:26] Woman     If only someone would sign their name, [18:28] Woman     this sinister Eris cultist     would flee in fear! [18:33] Woman     Hey, wait, don't abandon me, sir! [18:35] Woman     It's fine! You just have to     write your name on this paper, [18:38] Woman     and then you'll receive some     kind power from Aqua-sama [18:40] Woman     to make you strong and super cool! [18:41] Woman     With that power, this Eris cultist will     surely lose his nerve and run away! [18:46] Guy     That's right! [18:47] Guy     Plus, if you join, you'll get     all kinds of rare bonuses, [18:49] Guy     like becoming a good entertainer [18:52] Guy     and being beloved by undead monsters! [18:54] D     If you insist on calling Eris-sama     a dark goddess in my presence— [19:02] K     Is everyone in the Axis cult like this? [19:07] K     Everyone in the Eris cult better     not be like her, either. [19:10] K     You were turned on, weren't you? [19:12] D     Was not. [19:12] Dude     Congratulations! [19:14] Dude     You are the millionth to     pass down this street! [19:18] Dude     I'd love to give you a commemorative     prize, but you see, [19:21] Dude     the prize is actually sponsored     by the Axis Church, [19:23] Dude     so if you'd just help me get     this paperwork out of the way, [19:27] Dude     we can get your name, and you     can receive your prize... [19:31] Woman     Hey! Hey, wow, it's been so long! [19:34] Woman     It's me! You know, me! How've you been? [19:36] Woman     Remember? We were classmates in school! [19:39] Woman     We were in the same class!     Do you remember me? [19:41] Woman     I've changed a lot since     joining the Axis Church, [19:45] Woman     so maybe you didn't recognize me! [19:47] Woman     Oh, my! Wait a moment! [19:48] Woman     Are you two newlyweds? Why, how darling! [19:51] Woman     Here, take this detergent! [19:53] Woman     Oh, don't worry about paying! [19:55] Woman     It's a little wedding gift from an old lady! [19:58] Woman     It's actually some amazing stuff! [20:00] Woman     I mean, it's received Aqua-sama's blessing,     so it can get rid of any kind of stain! [20:03] Woman     And it's so easy on your skin! I'm serious! [20:07] Woman     You can even drink it! [20:14] K     What is wrong with this town? [20:17] D     A trial in a heretical land... [20:20] D     What an experience! [20:22] K     You never break character, do you? [20:25] Waitress     Here are your orders. [20:28] Waitress     Oh, and for our guest from the Eris cult... [20:31] Waitress     This is for you, on the house. [20:34] Waitress     Please enjoy yourselves. [20:39] D     Hey, Kazuma, why don't     we all move to this town? [20:43] K     Absolutely not! [20:44] K     KONOSUBA! [20:49] K     Let's just head back to the inn. [20:58] K     Are you okay? [21:00] D     Here, let me see. [21:02] K     Looks like it's just a scratch. [21:04] Girl     Thank you, mister, lady! [21:07] K     Even in a city full of religious nutcases, [21:10] K     this girl blooms like a single flower! [21:13] K     Here. [21:15] K     Well? Does it hurt? [21:16] Girl     No, it's fine now! Thank you! [21:19] Girl     Hey, nice man, tell me your name! [21:23] K     It's Kazuma. Satou Kazuma. [21:25] K     And the scary lady here is Darkness. [21:27] D     D-Don't give me such a weird introduction! [21:30] D     Am I really that scary-looking? [21:34] Girl     How do you write "Satou Kazuma"? [21:37] Girl     Write it for me, mister! [21:39] K     Sure. My name is written like— [21:51] K     Damn it all! [21:54] Girl     Mister! SIGN    Episode 9 SIGN    A Goddess for This Corrupt Hot Springs Town! SIGN    My dear friends, Funifura-san and Dodonko-san. About coming to visit, please don't do it! I'm sure you're busy, so don't put yourselves out on my behalf. I'm actually pretty occupied myself, as well. Is it all right if you wait a bit before coming by? Please. Please, I beg for your patience. -Yunyun [23:32] YY     My dear friends, Funifura-san     and Dodonko-san. [23:35] YY     About coming to visit, please don't do it! [23:38] YY     I'm sure you're busy, so don't— E9 - A Goddess for This Corrupt Hot Springs Town! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:03] K     Damn it! [00:05] K     I wanna talk to whoever's in charge! [00:06] K     I'll give them a piece of my mind! [00:07] Priest     Oh, my! Whatever is the matter? [00:10] Priest     Are you here for conversion? Baptism? [00:12] Priest     Or... are you here for me? [00:15] K     F-For you? [00:18] Priest     I'm just joking! [00:20] Priest     Come now, don't take me seriously! [00:22] Priest     Are you all right in the head? [00:23] K     What do I do now?     I want to hit her with a fist! [00:25] PRiest     Our high priest, Zesta-sama, is out     screwing around while proselytizing... [00:29] (K     That is, he's out spreading the     glories of Aqua-sama's name. [00:29] (K     Wait, what did you just say? [00:32] (K     I'm sorry, but you'll have     to come back another time. [00:34] K     Hang on, did a magic user and     an arch priest come by here? [00:38] Priest     Oh, if you're looking for them... [00:45] Priest     By the way, the woman you came here with [00:47] Priest     is being stoned by children... [00:50] K     Hey! What're you doing?! [00:53] D     Kazuma... [00:55] D     Even the women and children in     this town are pretty advanced. [00:58] K     Just put away your Eris sect charm already!     Are you doing this on purpose? [01:02] D     I refuse! [01:03] D     I refuse! [01:05] K     Aqua! Hey, Aqua! [01:17] A     Welcome, my lost lamb. [01:20] A     Now, tell me of your sins. [01:23] A     God will hear them, and will     surely grant forgiveness. SIGN    KONOSUBA!     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! 2 SIGN    Episode 9 A Goddess for This Corrupt Hot Springs Town! [02:59] K     Listen, it's me! Y'know, me? [03:01] K     Me! [03:02] K     What's with this town? Do something     about your followers already. [03:07] A     I see. You've performed     the "It's me" scam, then. [03:10] A     You must think deeply upon your sins. [03:13] A     If you do, surely the merciful goddess,     Aqua-sama, will forgive you. [03:18] K     Why are you trying to stonewall me?! [03:20] K     I know what this is.     You're enjoying this, aren't you? [03:22] K     You're tickled that you get to do     something priestly for once, aren't you? [03:26] A     Do you have anything else to confess? [03:28] A     If not, then leave here, and live     a forthright life once again. [03:32] K     Damn it, listen! [03:33] K     Aren't you an arch priest,     which are revered around here? [03:37] K     If you'd say something to your followers,     it'd take care of all of this! [03:40] K     Control your people a little! [03:44] A     Nothing else, then? [03:46] A     Well, I must wait for the next lost lamb. [03:49] (K     Hey! [03:50] (K     Now, go forth. [03:51] K     What're you saying?!     I said get out of there, damn it! [03:54] A     You get out! You're done     confessing, so get out! [03:58] K     That little... [04:05] K     There is actually something     I'd like to get off my chest. [04:09] A     Well, please, share it with me! [04:11] A     Confess now, and admit your sins. [04:14] A     Do you have an unhealthy interest     in a crusader's laundry? [04:18] A     A desire to stick a magic user's     black hair up your nose? [04:22] A     Inappropriate carnal feelings for     a beautiful and noble priest? [04:28] K     There's a special cup that a priest     friend of mine uses for party tricks... [04:32] K     I accidentally broke it. [04:35] K     Also, she was bragging about how she     had bought some rare, fancy liquor. [04:40] K     So I figured, "How good can it be?"     and poured a little bit for myself... [04:44] K     But it was better than I     expected, so I drank it all, [04:47] K     then replaced it with some cheap hooch since     I figured she couldn't tell the difference. [04:50] A     What are you saying?     What exactly are you saying, Kazuma? [04:52] K     And since the priest in question     is constantly causing problems, [04:56] K     I posted an opening for an Eris sect priest [04:59] K     on the adventurer guild's help wanted board— [05:03] A     You apostate! [05:06] K     Sheesh, I said I was joking. [05:09] A     And you're not really     looking for another priest? [05:13] K     Putting aside the first two,     that last one wasn't true at all. [05:16] A     Wait, what was that about the other two? [05:21] M     Can we... Can we go home, like, soon? [05:26] Confessor     Please... Please, hear me out. [05:30] Confessor     I have been a member of the Axis faith [05:31] Confessor     and worshiped Aqua-sama for a long time... [05:33] Confessor     But! [05:35] Confessor     The bountiful chest on the     portrait of the goddess Eris... [05:37] Confessor     It leads me astray! [05:40] Confessor     That chest is the chest of a devil! [05:43] Confessor     Please forgive my sinful ways in     being tempted by another goddess. [05:50] A     Rest easy. [05:52] A     God forgives all. [05:54] A     Thou shalt love big breasts. [05:57] A     Thou shalt love small breasts. [06:00] A     The Axis faith teaches     forgiveness in all things. [06:03] A     Whether you're a lolicon, a NEET, [06:06] A     or a questionably-human     fan of animal-eared girls... [06:09] A     As long as you're not interested     in undead or devil girls, [06:11] A     you have love in your heart,     and you don't break the law, [06:13] A     all will be forgiven. [06:19] A     Faithful follower, [06:22] A     I will share holy words that will     help you avoid demonic temptation. [06:26] A     "Eris pads her chest." [06:29] A     The next time you feel you are being     led astray, chant these words. [06:32] A     If you know anyone else being tempted,     you can share it with them. [06:37] Dude     Eris pads her chest... [06:40] Dude     I... I feel as though my eyes have been opened! [06:43] A     Let's say it once more, together. [06:45] Both     Eris pads her chest! [06:48] Dude     Thank you for the wonderful incantation! [06:51] K     Is it okay for a goddess to get along by     selling out one of her younger co-workers? [06:55] A     Hey, the number and intensity of     followers is really important for gods! [06:59] A     They directly influence our power. [07:02] A     I may not have many followers, [07:05] A     but their faith is really strong! [07:08] A     I'd do anything for my adoring faithful! [07:13] A     KONOSUBA! [07:15] K     We're back. [07:17] W     Welcome back! [07:19] K     Are you feeling better? [07:20] W     After taking a bath, I felt back to normal. [07:23] D     That's good to hear. [07:25] W     With no one else here, it was like     I had the mixed bath all to myself! [07:30] K     Does that mean... [07:32] W     So, everyone, how did the sightseeing go? [07:35] M     The Axis cult... scares me. [07:38] D     I-I'm thinking about going     sightseeing tomorrow, too. [07:42] K     Y-You... [07:44] K     Well, whatever. Do what you want. [07:46] K     I'm gonna head into the bath. [07:51] K     I'm heading into the bath. [07:52] M     We heard you. [07:54] W     Enjoy yourself. [07:57] K     I'm— [07:58] Duo     Get going already! [08:06] W     What a lovely bath. [08:08] H     Must be nice to be you this morning. [08:11] W     I only came for the baths. [08:15] W     You seem pretty worn out, though. [08:18] H     This place is a demon city... [08:21] W     You've got your hands full, huh? [08:24] W     By the way... [08:34] W     He's been looking right     at me this whole time... [08:37] W     Excuse me, but being stared at like     this is kind of embarrassing— [08:42] K     Don't mind me. [08:44] W     R-Right... It's a mixed bath, after all. [08:47] K     Don't mind me. [08:56] K     What a bashful lady! [09:05] H     Damn it, I try to be nice, [09:09] H     and it's conversion this, proselytize that, [09:11] H     and they just don't freaking shut up     about it for a single second, damn it! [09:18] K     Guess the town's getting to him, too. [09:26] H     This town... [09:30] K     Better not get mixed up with him. [09:35] Worker     How's that, sir? [09:36] K     Oh, that's the spot! [09:40] Worker     This soap is nice and sudsy, right? [09:42] K     Huh, I guess. [09:45] Worker     It can cure any kind of abnormal     status, and not only that... [09:49] Worker     It's actually edible! It only uses     natural ingredients, so it's sacred! [09:52] Worker     You get some if you join the faith! [09:54] Worker     And it's free! [09:55] K     No, thanks! [09:56] Worker     If you join now you, can get     double points! It's all free! [09:59] H     Don't try to trick me by dressing it up     with talk of appealing stuff like points! [10:02] H     KONOSUBA! [10:07] K     I wanna go home. I wanna go home already. [10:08] M     Hup! [10:10] D     Hey, Megumin! It's rude to swim in the bath! [10:13] M     Come on, don't worry about that. [10:15] D     H-Hey! What are you doing?! [10:17] M     Why are you acting so embarrassed? [10:19] M     We're in a rough line of work.     We can't afford to be so dainty! [10:23] D     Your logic doesn't make sense! [10:24] D     Oh, my towel! [10:31] M     I was originally just going to drag     that pair of lazybones outside, [10:34] M     then hunt the crowds of undead that     Aqua attracts with Kazuma, but... [10:39] D     That's what you were after? [10:42] D     In any case, what kind of man is he? [10:45] D     He seems conservative     and cowardly at times, [10:47] D     but he never lets social standing bother him, [10:49] D     and will get aggressive against nobles... [10:52] D     You could say he's odd,     or maybe just strange— [10:54] D     Shh! [10:56] M     Next to us is the mixed bath. [10:58] M     If he had to choose either the     men's bath or the mixed one, [11:01] M     which do you think he'd choose? [11:02] D     He might be timid and tend to     blanch at the crucial moment, [11:06] D     but with the right justification, he wouldn't     hesitate to enter the mixed bath. [11:13] M     Kazuma, you're there, aren't you? [11:16] M     You're breathing hard with     your ear against the wall, [11:19] M     imagining where Darkness     is going to wash first, right? [11:22] D     M-Megumin, why make me the example?! [11:25] D     Hey, Kazuma! Are you there?     You are, aren't you?! [11:30] D     I guess he's not there. [11:32] M     Maybe I shouldn't have suspected him... [11:36] M     I'll just surreptitiously treat     him to a drink later. [11:39] D     I suppose it actually was rude. [11:42] M     He has his faults, but he's     pretty reliable in the end. [11:46] D     He might not seem like it, [11:48] D     but he always helps his     friends when they need it. [11:52] D     He's not earnest about anything,     but at his core, he's a good person. [11:56] K     I'm starting to feel embarrassed     about eavesdropping... [11:59] D     By the way, Megumin, I was     curious about how your butt— [12:03] M     Hold it right there! [12:04] M     You may be my friend, Darkness,     but one more word, and you will pay! [12:08] D     S-Stop it! [12:10] M     Honestly, what is it with     these indecent breasts?! [12:17] D     S-Stop! [12:20] M     Now! [12:25] M     See, I knew it! [12:27] M     He was there the whole time, after all! [12:29] D     It makes sense. [12:30] D     I feel Kazuma's lusty gaze on me every day. [12:32] D     There's no way someone as oversexed     as him wouldn't be in the mixed bath! [12:37] K     Create Water! [12:40] M+D     That's cold! [12:44] K     Hey, don't throw the cat! [12:46] M     Wash her in exchange for your eavesdropping! [12:50] K     Must suck for you, having     such a weird owner, huh? [13:01] K     KONOSUBA. [13:03] A     This is too much! [13:06] A     I just went into the baths! [13:10] W     Y-Your tears really sting when     they hit me, Aqua-sama... [13:15] K     So how many people did you     make trouble for today? [13:18] A     What do you mean, trouble?! [13:20] A     Why do you assume I did something wrong?! [13:23] W     It seems, when Aqua-sama went into     the secret baths at the main church, [13:26] W     the hot springs changed     into regular hot water... [13:29] A     And they kicked me out! [13:31] A     Why am I getting kicked out by     the church that worships me?! [13:35] A     Tell me why! [13:38] K     Come to think of it, she purified     the tea into water, too... [13:41] A     But the part that made me maddest     was when I met the guy in charge... [13:45] (Flashback) A     I apologize for purifying the     hot springs into hot water, [13:48] (Flashback) A     but I couldn't help it. [13:50] (Flashback) A     After all, it's because I am the     goddess of water, Aqua, in the flesh! [14:01] A     I'm a goddess! I'm a goddess, and he did that! [14:11] A     This town's danger is in peril! [14:14] K     What exactly does "danger in peril" mean? [14:16] K     You were crying all night, and now... [14:18] A     The guy managing the springs told me this... [14:21] (Flashback) Dude     The quality of the hot springs     has been dropping a bit lately. [14:26] A     This is probably the Devil     King's army realizing [14:28] A     they'd never win a direct     confrontation with my followers, [14:31] A     so instead, they attack our source     of income, the hot springs! [14:34] K     Really? Wow, that's something. [14:35] A     Believe me! [14:37] M     I admit it's true that most people are     disgusted by and dislike the Axis cult, [14:41] M     but why bother with such     an elaborate conspiracy? [14:45] A     I'm going to stand up for this town! [14:48] A     So, you'll all help me, right? [14:52] K     I'm busy with walking around     town and other stuff. [14:55] M     I already know how terrifying     the Axis cult is, [14:59] M     so I'd rather not get involved. [15:02] A     Why?! [15:04] A     Who cares about your dumb walk?! [15:06] A     And you don't have to hate my     followers so much, Megumin! [15:09] A     Wh-What about you, Darkness? [15:11] D     W-Well, I'm... you know... [15:14] A     Please! [15:16] D     Fine! Fine, I'll help! I'll help you,     so stop purifying my grape juice! [15:20] K     Wiz is soft on you, so maybe she'll help? [15:24] A     I was crying to her all night, and in the     morning, she was fading away again... [15:28] A     So I let her get some rest. [15:30] V     Come on... Come to me! [15:33] K     Why don't you save Wiz before the town?! [15:35] V     Come on, come to me! [15:44] K     Sitting here like this,     the town seems pretty nice. [15:47] M     You're right. [15:49] M     The scenery is nice, and the food is good... [15:52] M     The only problem is the people. [15:54] Granny     My, what nice weather! [15:56] Granny     Is this a blessing from Aqua-sama? [15:58] Both     Here comes one! [15:59] Granny     And here's the thing about this pot... [16:02] Granny     Nothing burns in it! [16:03] Granny     Join the faith now and     you are guaranteed one! [16:06] Granny     So, how about it? [16:08] Granny     No need to to be shy! [16:10] Guy     Hmm? [16:11] Girl     Wow, out for a stroll? [16:13] Girl     For you, big brother! [16:14] Dude     For you, little sister! [16:16] Girl     Join now and you get another, free! [16:18] Dude     Hey, why won't you look me in the     eye when I'm talking to you?! [16:22] Dude     I'm doing this for your sake!     It's for your own good! [16:28] M     Do you think you could swallow a bar of soap? [16:34] H     I don't have that much... [16:35] H     I don't have that much to wash, all right?! [16:38] H     Soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent... [16:41] M     Swallow. [16:42] H     Soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent— [16:44] M     Swallow. [16:45] H     Soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent, [16:47] (M     Swallow. [16:48] H     soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent, [16:50] H     soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent! [16:53] (M     I can't swallow this! [16:55] (M     It'd make me too clean... [17:02] W     Kazuma-san! [17:07] K     Wiz? You feeling better? [17:09] W     Yes, thank you. [17:11] W     For a moment, I saw my party members     from when I was an adventurer [17:15] W     trying to wave me away from     the other side of a river, [17:19] W     but I managed to recover! [17:21] K     Doesn't that mean... [17:23] W     What were you doing out here? [17:25] K     Well, actually— [17:27] K     Huh? Wasn't he just... [17:30] M     There was detergent...     uh, a man there a moment ago. [17:33] W     Oh, my. [17:34] A     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [17:37] M     That voice... [17:39] K     I've got a bad feeling about this. [17:40] A     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [17:44] A     My Axis Church faithful! [17:46] A     The Devil King's army is currently     plotting sabotage against this town! [17:51] D     ...town. [17:52] A     As for what exactly they're doing,     they've put poison in the town's hot springs! [17:57] A     Their villainous deeds have already been     confirmed at a number of hot springs! [18:03] D     ...of hot springs. [18:04] Girl     I just was in the hot springs,     and nothing was wrong. [18:08] A     That's because I've been making rounds to     the hot springs and purifying them all! [18:13] K     So she spent her morning doing     a hot springs tour, huh? [18:16] A     But we can't rest easy yet! [18:18] A     Which is why I'd like to ask for your help! [18:21] A     Until this case is solved,     please don't use the hot springs! [18:25] Dude     But this is a hot springs city, priest lady! [18:28] Dude     If you tell people not to go into our     number one attraction, the hot springs, [18:32] Dude     things are gonna dry up around here! [18:34] Lady     Why would the Devil King's     army do that, anyway? [18:36] A     Because they intend to cut off the     Axis Church's source of income! [18:40] A     Yes, the Devil King's army fears     those of the Axis faith! [18:44] A     It's definitely not because I'm     trying to stop the rest of you [18:48] A     because it's unfair that only     I don't get to use the baths! [18:51] A     Now, Axis faithful— [18:53] Dudes     There she is! [18:55] Dudes     That's the pain-in-the-butt woman who's been     turning all the hot springs into hot water! [19:00] A     Wait— [19:01] Dudes     Catch her, everyone! [19:02] Dudes     Tie her up! Let's tie her up! [19:04] Crowd     I thought it sounded fishy! [19:06] Crowd     You were trying to trick us, eh?! [19:08] Crowd     Is this some new kind of scam? [19:09] Crowd     What are you really after?! [19:10] Crowd     We work so hard to try and     make the world a better place! [19:13] K     This is a wild change of events. [19:15] A     I-It's not like that! [19:16] A     There's a good reason for all this! [19:18] W     I think Aqua-sama is about to start crying! [19:21] A     Everyone, calm down! Just listen to me! [19:24] A     Hey, Darkness, don't just     sit there! Say something! [19:27] A     Just like we rehearsed! [19:29] A     You're supposed to beg the     Axis Church for its help! [19:32] A     Say it! Quit being shy, and just do it! [19:36] D     P-Please help, Axis Church... [19:39] Dude     We can't hear you, blonde lady! [19:42] K     Poor thing. [19:43] A     Oh, fine! Then I'll reveal my identity! [19:47] A     Honored followers of the Axis faith, [19:50] A     my name is Aqua. [19:53] A     Yes, I am the one you worship, [19:56] A     Aqua, the goddess of water! [19:59] A     I have come here personally to help you all! [20:09] Dudes     Quit screwing around! [20:11] Dudes     If you think you can pretend to be Aqua-sama [20:14] Dudes     because you have blue hair     and eyes, you'll be cursed! [20:16] Dudes     We still oughta tie her up!     Tie her up and toss her in the lake! [20:19] Dudes     If she's really the goddess of water,     Aqua-sama, she'd be fine in a lake! [20:23] Dudes     Liar! [20:26] Dudes     I bet you're actually a servant     of the Devil King's army [20:29] Dudes     here to bankrupt our hot     spring city, aren't you?! [20:34] A     It's true! I'm actually a goddess! [20:40] A     But I'm the goddess of this town... [20:43] A     They're so mean! [20:46] A     Why did I get stoned by my own followers?! [20:50] W     Aqua-sama, p-please drink this and calm down. [20:54] W     Otherwise, your agitated holy aura     is going to hit me, and I'll... [21:01] A     I want booze. [21:03] K     You're not really that upset, are you? [21:04] M     I understand you're desperate, [21:07] M     but calling yourself a god is a bit much. [21:10] A     But if they go into polluted     water, they'll get sick... [21:15] K     Why are you trying to help them     after what they put you through? [21:20] A     But if I don't do anything,     my dear followers will... [21:26] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:30] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:33] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:37] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:41] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:44] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:45] K     What is this?! [21:46] A     What's going on? [21:47] A     Have my adoring faithful decided     to believe me and drop by? [21:48] ---     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [21:51] Crowd     There she is! [21:52] Crowd     The witch who claims the name of a goddess! [21:56] Crowd     Time for a witch hunt! SIGN    Episode 10 SIGN    God's Blessing on This Wonderful Party! SIGN    My dear friends Funifura-san and Dodonko-san. Please don't come to visit! I know you said you're two days away from Axel, but please turn back right away! I assure you, I am not just pretending. Right now, the town is suffering from unprecedented storms and earthquakes as the Devil King's generals are waging a siege; things are very dangerous. And is there something you enjoy about cornering someone?! Well?! Is there?! -Yunyun [23:31] YY     My dear friends Funifura-san and Dodonko-san. [23:34] YY     Please don't come to visit! [23:36] YY     I know you said you're     two days away from Axel, [23:38] YY     but please head back— E10 - God's Blessing on This Wonderful Party! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:00] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [00:03] Crowd     That witch who claims the name of a goddess! [00:05] Crowd     Tie her up! Take the wench and tie her up! [00:07] Crowd     Who gave you permission     to dye your hair blue?! [00:10] Crowd     Impostor! Impostor! Impostor! [00:14] Crowd     The Aqua impostor's running away! [00:18] Crowd     Find the Aqua impostor! SIGN    Episode 10 God's Blessing on This Wonderful Party! [00:20] Aqua     I think the water source is the problem. [00:23] Megumin     That makes sense. [00:24] Aqua     If I can purify that, the hot springs     should all turn back to normal. [00:28] Aqua     It'll cut off the rotten smell at the source! [00:30] Crowd     There she is! I found the wannabe! [00:34] K     Do you really have to save the     people who are saying all that?! [00:39] A     But they're my darling faithful... [00:43] A     Come on, I'm an arch priest     with the Axis Church! [00:46] A     Here, look at my adventurer card! [00:50] Guards     You can't go in, arch priest or not. [00:53] Guards     One of the overseers just said     not to let anyone else in. [00:57] K     Overseer? [01:00] A     Honorable members of the Axis Church... [01:04] A     It's important that you do this.     It's the right thing to do. [01:08] A     By letting us through, this town will be— [01:10] Guards     Oh, we're in the Eris faith. [01:12] A     Why?! [01:13] A     Come on, let us through! [01:15] A     The water source up ahead is in danger! [01:17] A     I just want to save the town! [01:17] K     Let's see how this plays out. [01:19] Guards     No means no, miss. [01:21] Guards     Go on, head back home. [01:23] A     Wait a minute! [01:24] A     Y'know, you're actually kinda... [01:26] A     pretty attractive, in a way! [01:28] A     Your profile looks like a red     dragon. It's pretty cool! [01:32] Guard     Are you saying I have a lizard face?! [01:36] A     Fine. If you really don't want to let me in, [01:40] A     I'll tell the Axis Church     that you Eris sect members [01:43] A     were saying terrible things about our faith. [01:46] Guards     What the hell is wrong with you?! [01:47] Guards     It's stuff like this that makes     Axis cultists a pain to deal with! [01:50] Guards     And that blue hair—aren't you the one     who pulled that prank where you [01:53] Guards     replaced the hot springs with hot water?! [01:55] A     N-No, all I did was purify the hot springs... [01:59] Guards     So it was you! [02:00] Guards     We definitely can't let you in! [02:01] Guards     Now, get out of here! [02:01] K     I figured that's how it'd go. [02:03] A     Hey, wait a minute! [02:04] K     Come on, Darkness. Here's one of the     few times you get to be useful. [02:07] D     What do you mean, "few"?! [02:07] D     I'm useful on occasion, you know! [02:10] D     Hey, don't push me!     What are you trying to do?! [02:13] M     Attention! [02:15] M     Do you realize who this is?! [02:18] M     You're in the presence of a lady of the     Dustiness family, Dustiness Ford Lalatina! [02:23] M     This is an emergency! [02:25] K     Come on, milady, show that pendant     you're hiding on your chest for proof! [02:26] (D     Hey! [02:29] K     Milady, stop resisting! [02:32] (D     Just cough it up already, milady! [02:34] A     Kazuma, hold her tight! [02:36] A     I'll get— [02:38] A     Ow, ow! Darkness, that hurts! [02:40] A     Wiz, hurry up and get it!     Now's your chance to get the pendant! [02:43] M     Wiz! Please, get over here! [02:45] M     Aqua, keep her right hand steady! [02:47] Everyone     Come on, milady, calm down! [02:48] A     Wiz! Hurry it up! [02:50] K     Wiz, go for it! [02:51] Everyone     Milady! [02:52] Everyone     I'm so sorry, Darkness-san! [02:54] Everyone     I'm so, so sorry! [02:55] D     Y-You guys, stop this! The Dustiness family     doesn't just wield its authority for— [03:04] Guards     It's the real deal! [03:05] Guards     We're so sorry for our insolence. [03:07] D     KONOSUBA! [03:10] A     You're such a pain. [03:12] A     Do you want us to treat you as a noble     or as part of the gang? Figure it out! [03:16] D     Don't call me a pain! [03:18] D     Aren't you younger than I am, Kazuma?! [03:22] K     I treat you this way because I genuinely     see you as a friend, Darkness. [03:26] K     Yes, not as some older noble     lady named Lalatina-sama, [03:29] K     but as our trusty crusader, Darkness. [03:31] D     I-I see... [03:34] D     In that case, I suppose it's... [03:37] Everyone     So easy. [03:38] Everyone     Very easy. [03:39] Everyone     Talk about easy. [03:40] Everyone     G-Guys! [03:42] M     There it is. [03:43] K     Whoa, the water's black! [03:45] A     This is poisoned! Like, it's totally poisoned! [03:48] M     If this is any indicator, the water source     has probably been contaminated already. [03:54] A     Let's hurry! [04:00] K     Wait, someone's there. [04:07] K     That's... [04:09] (Flashback) H     I can't swallow this! [04:12] (Flashback) H     It'd make me too clean... [04:15] M     The detergent... [04:16] A     He looks like he's thinking     of throwing himself in there. [04:18] K     He was feeling pretty violated     by the Axis Church. [04:22] D     Wait! [04:25] K     Look out! [04:27] K     Don't do anything rash! [04:36] K     KONOSUBA! [04:37] H     Well, well! Are you folks sightseers? [04:39] H     Y'know, these hot springs work on lower     back pain, stiff shoulders, exhaustion, [04:42] H     skin care, not to mention curing the blues,     negativity, and all sorts of curses! [04:46] H     There are many famous folks from all     around the world who swear by them! [04:50] H     So you should— [04:52] W     I think I've seen him somewhere before... [04:54] H     Seen me? Why, no! I assure     you we've never met before. [04:57] W     Oh, Hans-san! It's you, isn't it, Hans-san? [05:01] H     Wh-Who might that be?     I'm one of the overseers— [05:04] W     It's been so long, Hans-san! It's me, Wiz! [05:08] W     Wiz the lich! [05:09] H     I'm not sure what you mean... [05:11] Wiz     If I remember, you're a type of     Deadly Poison Slime mutant, right? [05:16] Wiz     Could it be you were the one     poisoning the water source? [05:19] D     Slime! [05:20] K     Deadly Slime? [05:22] W     Hey, Hans-san, why are you ignoring me? [05:26] W     It's me, Wiz! Come on, Hans-san! Hans-san! [05:27] H     What do you want? I don't know you— [05:31] H     Please stop shaking me! [05:32] W     Did you forget about me? [05:35] W     Remember, back at the Devil King's castle— [05:37] Hans     Oops! [05:40] Hans     I just remembered I have     important business in town— [05:44] D     Where do you think you're going, Hans?! [05:46] (H     Oh, right. [05:46] A     We won't let you pass, Hans! [05:48] (H     Oh, okay. [05:48] M     Did you think your excuses     would actually work, Hans?! [05:51] (H     Yeah, fine. [05:53] K     Why don't you stop struggling [05:54] K     and reveal yourself, Hans?! [05:58] Everyone     Hans! [05:59] H     Damn it! [06:00] H     You jerks keep using my name with no respect! [06:03] H     Wiz, didn't you say you were     going to open a store?! [06:06] H     Stop slacking in a hot springs     town and get to work! [06:08] W     Th-That's so mean! [06:10] W     I work really hard! [06:11] W     Even though the harder I work,     the less money I seem to have... [06:15] H     I spent ages doing this     as quietly as possible... [06:19] H     Wiz, isn't the deal that you don't help us,     apart from maintaining the barrier, [06:25] H     and in exchange, you don't oppose us? [06:28] H     A kind of non-intervention treaty? [06:30] H     So why are you getting in my way? [06:32] W     Wait, am I getting in your way? [06:35] W     I just wanted to say hi     because it's been so long! [06:39] H     And that's getting in my way! [06:41] A     When I think of how I've     suffered because of you... [06:45] A     You'd better be ready to pay. [06:47] H     What now, Wiz? You want to take me on? [06:50] W     These people are my friends! [06:53] W     Can't we discuss this? [06:55] H     You've lost your spine ever     since you became a lich, Wiz! [06:59] H     When you hunted us as an arch wizard, [07:03] H     you never talked about discussing things! [07:06] W     B-Back then, I couldn't really see     what was going on around me... [07:09] K     Wiz, you know him, right? [07:12] K     It's probably hard for you to take     him on, so you can stay back. [07:17] K     My name is Satou Kazuma! [07:20] K     I have slain countless fearsome foes! [07:23] W     K-Kazuma-san, I would like     to avoid fighting, but— [07:29] K     Let's do this, partner. [07:30] M     Chunchunmaru. [07:31] K     Not! [07:33] H     Very well. All who've learned my     true identity have bowed down, [07:37] H     begging for mercy... [07:39] H     You seem to have real backbone. [07:41] K     What're you talking about? You're a     slime, the weakest of monsters! [07:45] K     That deadly poison probably means     you have some poison attacks, [07:49] K     but we've got Aqua, who can purify poison! [07:51] K     I'm not seeing any way we lose! [07:54] H     My name is Hans... [07:56] H     I am one of the leaders of the Devil King's army. [07:58] H     Hans the Deadly Poison Slime. [08:02] K     What, now? A leader of the Devil King's army? [08:04] W     Hans-san has a high price on his head,     even among the Devil King's army leaders! [08:08] W     He's incredibly strong, so be careful! [08:10] K     Hey, slimes are weak, right? Total small fry? [08:13] D     Who told you that nonsense?! [08:16] D     Slimes are fearsome foes! [08:18] D     First of all, physical attacks     have nearly no effect on them. [08:20] D     You can consider it over     if they get a hold of you. [08:23] D     Either you'll be melted by their digestive     enzymes or they'll smother you to death! [08:26] K     What the heck?! Scary! [08:27] M     Plus, his poison is toxic enough     to affect every hot spring in town! [08:32] M     Coming in contact means instant death! [08:34] K     I-Instant death?! [08:36] A     Don't worry, Kazuma. [08:38] A     Even if you die, I'm here! [08:40] A     Just don't let him eat you.     I can't resurrect you if you're digested. [08:47] H     Now, face me, courageous adventurers! SIGN    Emergency Quest SIGN    Eliminate Devil King Army Leader     Hans the Deadly Poison Slime! [08:52] H     And strike me down if you— [08:54] K     Sorry! Really sorry about this! [09:03] A     Hey, why are we running?! [09:05] K     You idiot! Hurry up and move! [09:07] K     This is bad, bad, bad!     He's worse than all the others! [09:10] D     The slime... We're leaving the slime... [09:12] M     Darkness, seriously, this one would kill you! [09:18] K     Isn't that... [09:20] Crowd     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [09:24] K     Look, let's give up on the water source. [09:27] K     I mean, who'd actually miss the Axis cult? [09:29] A     What are you saying?! [09:31] A     The Axis Church in this     town is gonna be ruined! [09:35] Duo     Isn't that a good thing? [09:37] W     P-Please stop teasing Aqua-sama! [09:40] A     Fine! Forget it! [09:47] M     Are you sure about this? Things are     just going to get worse, at this rate. [09:54] K     Guess I don't have a choice! [10:02] A     Hey, you! [10:04] A     Your element is poison?     No one's into that! It's too gloomy! [10:07] A     You probably just joined the Devil King's     army because nobody liked you! [10:11] A     Now, repent! [10:12] H     What? [10:13] K     Aqua! [10:15] A     Kazuma! [10:17] H     How do you worms have the     guts to face me again? [10:22] H     Whatever it is, once I finish with these     hot springs, I'll be done with this town. [10:27] H     Finally! [10:28] H     I'll finally be able to leave     this disgusting town behind! [10:32] K     Look, I get how you feel... [10:35] K     Hey, wait! What happened to the real overseer? [10:40] H     I ate him. [10:41] K     Wait... What did you just... [10:43] H     I said I ate him! [10:46] H     I'm a slime! My instinct is to consume! [10:50] W     Wiz?! [10:52] W     Cursed Crystal Prison! [10:58] W     The condition for my neutrality [11:01] W     was that no non-combatants     were to be killed. [11:06] W     Isn't that right? [11:07] H     Wiz! Stop it! Cancel the magic! [11:10] W     It's unavoidable that adventurers     lose their lives in battle. [11:15] W     They take the lives of monsters, [11:17] W     and make their livings doing so. [11:20] W     They should be prepared     to meet a similar end. [11:23] W     The same for knights... They collect taxes, [11:26] W     and in exchange, they protect the citizenry. [11:29] W     Since they receive that payment, [11:30] (H     Wiz! Do you seriously want to fight me?! [11:31] W     their involvement in life-and-death     battles is a natural consequence. [11:33] (H     If we actually do this— [11:34] W     However... [11:35] H     The entire area around here     is going to be contamina— [11:38] W     But the nice old man who oversaw these     hot springs didn't do anything wrong! [11:42] A     Wiz is scaring me... [11:44] H     To take on the woman who was     known as the Ice Witch... [11:48] H     I have no other choice! [11:53] H     I'll devour as my instinct commands... [12:05] D     This is... [12:09] D     What a splendid slime! Such a shame! [12:12] D     If it weren't poisonous, I'd take     it home and make it my pet! [12:15] K     Did he melt your brain?! [12:26] K     Get back here! It's dangerous! [12:28] Crowd     What is that?! Is that what     was polluting the hot springs?! [12:32] A     Purification! Purification! Purification! [12:35] A     Purification! Purification! [12:37] A     Ah, it burns, it burns! [12:39] K     Forget about that! Just run! [12:42] A     But I can't! If I don't protect     the hot springs, my faithful... [12:45] Crowd     Look! [12:46] Crowd     The girl with the blue hair     was telling the truth! [12:49] Crowd     Get him! [12:54] Crowd     Heal! Heal! Heal! [12:56] A     It's burning... It burns so much! [12:58] A     Purification! Purification!     Purification! Purification! [13:03] Girl     You can do it, lady! [13:05] D     Watch out! [13:09] D     Everyone, get back! It's dangerous! [13:11] D     What're you doing, you stupid Eris cultist?! [13:15] Girl     You evil cultist! [13:19] M     I'll use my explosion magic     to blow him to smithereens! [13:23] A     Don't! It'll pollute the entire mountain! [13:26] K     Damn it! [13:27] K     Wiz, isn't there anything you can do?! [13:29] W     I can't freeze him at that size     with my current magic power! [13:33] W     If we could make him smaller somehow... [13:35] Crowd     You polluted our hot springs! [13:38] Crowd     You damnable nincompoop! [13:50] K     I guess even slimes have preferences... [13:52] M     Kazuma! [13:53] K     What's up? [13:53] M     Can't you come up with some sneaky     plan to deal with this, like usual?! [13:57] K     Don't call it sneaky. [14:02] K     Bones? [14:04] Crowd     That's the hot springs overseer! [14:05] Crowd     Did that beast eat him?! [14:07] Crowd     It's gonna pay! [14:10] K     He hasn't been fully digested yet... [14:13] K     It's our only hope! [14:15] K     Aqua! You can revive someone if     they're not fully digested, right?! [14:19] A     Huh? Yeah, I can! [14:21] K     Wiz! You could freeze him     if he were smaller, right?! [14:25] W     Y-Yes! If he were around half his current size... [14:28] K     Megumin! You're gonna light     him up! Get ready to go! [14:32] M     I-I can shoot it?! Okay, I'll shoot it! [14:35] D     I need to protect everyone from Hans     as he's being blown away, right? [14:38] K     You've got it. I'm counting on you! [14:43] K     A leader-class enemy showing     up in a hot springs town... [14:46] K     Damn it, what the hell is with     this world's game balance?! [14:49] A     Purification! Purification!     Purification! Purification! [15:05] K     I'm gonna be your meal today! [15:13] M     Detonation... Detonation... Detonation... [15:16] M     Wielder of the most glorious, powerful,     and grand explosion magic... [15:20] M     My name is Megumin. [15:21] M     The blow that I am given to strike [15:23] M     turns a blind eye to the fate of my kindred, [15:25] M     rendering all hope of rebirth into anguish, [15:27] (A     Purification! Purification! [15:28] M     and the model by which all forces are judged! [15:30] (A     Purification! [15:32] K     You didn't run out of luck     when you came to this town! [15:35] K     It was when you picked a fight with us! [15:43] K     The rest is up to you guys! [15:52] M     Pitiful creature... [15:54] M     Synchronize yourself with the red smoke,     and atone in a surge of blood! [15:58] M     Burst forth! Explosion! [16:11] Girl     Let go of me, you cultist! [16:11] D     Get back! [16:14] Girl     Lady? [16:20] W     Cursed Crystal Prison! [16:56] W     Thank goodness I was able to stop Hans     before I ran out of magic power... [17:03] D     Is it over? [17:05] H     To think you could push me this far... [17:08] D     What?! [17:17] H     But it's not over yet. [17:19] H     Soon, I will devour you all and be restored! [17:25] Crowd     Defeat the Devil King. [17:28] Crowd     Slay the demons. Defeat the Devil King. [17:33] Crowd     Slay the demons. Defeat the Devil King. [17:37] A     Slay the demons. Defeat the Devil King! [17:45] A     God Blow! [17:56] H     I was wondering what you were up to,     but this isn't enough to defeat me! [18:00] H     You pathetic priest! [18:05] Crowd     Lady! [18:09] Priest     Axis Church, our credo! [18:11] Axis     "The Axis Church can get things done. [18:13] Axis     And because you can get things done,     even if it doesn't go well, it's not your fault!" [18:18] Axis     "It's society's fault that things don't work out!" [18:20] Axis     "You can run away from unpleasant things!     That doesn't mean you've lost! [18:24] Axis     Because, as they say, 'Sometimes     running away is winning'!" [18:27] Axis     "The answer you come to     after being in doubt [18:29] Axis     is usually something you'll regret,     no matter what you choose! [18:31] Axis     If you're going to regret it anyway, [18:33] Axis     do whatever's easiest for you in the moment!" [18:35] H     What is this light?! [18:38] Axis     "Do not fear growing old! [18:40] Axis     Not even God knows whether you     will be happy in the future, [18:44] Axis     so you should, at least, be happy now!" [18:47] Axis     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [18:50] Axis     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [18:54] A     The sin of corrupting the     hot springs of my beloved faithful [18:58] A     has earned you certain doom! [19:00] A     Seek God's salvation and repent! [19:04] Axis     Slay the demons! Defeat the Devil King! [19:07] H     It can't be... [19:08] Dude     Eris pads her chest! [19:12] A     God Requiem! [19:24] A     The wretched goddess they worship... [19:28] A     It can't be... [19:30] A     It was you?! [19:41] K     The battle was over. [19:44] K     After the trouble with the     hot springs, we were shown... [19:48] K     no gratitude. [19:50] A     I worked hard to purify them! [19:52] A     Why's everyone so mad?! [19:55] K     Thanks to Aqua's God Requiem, [19:57] K     all of the hot springs in Arcanretia     were turned into regular hot water. [20:00] (Dudes     It's just hot water! It's just hot water! [20:03] K     The Devil King army's goal of cutting     off the Axis Church's source of income [20:07] K     ultimately ended up being accomplished. [20:11] K     We were going to head home     by having Wiz use Teleport... [20:15] K     But she was struck by the     power of the purification [20:17] K     and looks like she could     vanish at any second. [20:20] V     Come on! Come over here! [20:23] K     So we had to return home     bouncing along in a wagon again. [20:30] K     That wasn't much of a hot     springs trip in the end. [20:33] A     Hey, look! [20:35] A     Look over there! [20:36] A     I can see Axel! [20:52] Dust     Hot springs, huh? Must be nice to be you! [20:55] Randos     Welcome back! [20:56] Randos     Hey, Kazuma! Let's get some     drinks at the guild tonight! [21:01] Luna     Welcome home. Sounds like a rough trip. [21:06] Roughneck     So you made it back alive. [21:09] Roughneck     Maybe you really are... [21:11] Roughneck     Nah, I must be imagining things. [21:15] YY     Welcome home, everyone! [21:16] YY     Now, Megumin, today we'll have our duel! [21:19] M     You were out here waiting     every day, weren't you? [21:22] YT     N-N-No, I wasn't! I just     happened to come by today! [21:26] M     Oh, very well. [21:28] M     I'll indulge you, since it's been a while. [21:30] YY     What? Really? [21:31] M     Yes. [21:33] A     We're home! [21:34] K     Welcome back. [21:35] A     Nothing beats being in your own home! [21:39] K     Once winter ends, it'll be spring. [21:42] K     I wake here, sleep here, and live here... [21:44] K     Rock, paper— [21:46] K     in the moment. [21:47] K     To this unfair, impossibly cruel,     wonderful world... [21:52] K     God bless it, and you. [21:54] A     Hey, Kazuma-san! The hot water's not working! [22:00] K     Coming! SIGN    Thanks for your support!      From the Staff & Cast SIGN    Illustration by Mishima Kurone [23:35] K     Thanks for your support, everyone! [23:37] K     Our true battle has only just beg— OVA2 - God's Blessings on This Wonderful Work Of Art! Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    KONOSUBA!2     God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! SIGN    Episode 11 God's Blessings on These Wonderful Works of Art! [01:34] MOB     Hey, did you hear? [01:35] MOB     Kazuma's party took down another     one of the Devil King's generals. [01:38] MOB     I thought for sure they were a bunch     of lunkheads, but they're pretty good! [01:41] MOB     They even share their coupons! [01:45] Waitress     Can I get your order? [01:47] Kazuma     Give it to me straight. [01:49] Kazuma     Along with something nice and smoky. [01:51] Waitress     Uh, sir... [01:53] Waitress     What drink do you want served straight? [01:56] Waitress     And we have several different smoked meats... [01:58] Kazuma     Whiskey! I meant whiskey! [02:00] Kazuma     Straight means a strong whiskey, obviously! [02:03] Kazuma     And for the smoked meat, y'know,     I obviously meant jerky. [02:06] Waitress     I'll need the brand of whiskey     you're interested in... [02:10] Waitress     And jerky is actually dried meat. [02:13] Waitress     If you want something smoked,     we've got some good pork at the moment... [02:16] Waitress     Then that's fine! And whatever     brand you recommend, thank you! [02:19] Waitress     Coming right up! [02:24] Mob     Did you see him trying to look cool just now? [02:26] Mob     Kazuma can barely even     hold his liquor, though. [02:29] Kazuma     Damn it! Pipe down, peanut gallery! [02:31] Ran     A-Are you Satou Kazuma-san? [02:36] Ran     I just became an adventurer recently,     and I've heard all about you! [02:41] Ran     We're basically the same age, [02:43] Ran     but you've beaten lots of the     Devil King's generals already! [02:46] Ran     I admire you so much!     Can I shake your hand? [02:50] Kazuma     You seem to have some potential.     What's your name? [02:54] Ran     Ran! [02:56] Kazuma     Ran, eh? [02:57] Kazuma     Sounds good to me. [02:59] Ran     Oh my God! I can't believe it! [03:01] Waitress     Here's your drink. [03:05] Kazuma     Crap. [03:06] Kazuma     I've only had bubbly before. [03:08] Kazuma     But I can't embarrass myself now! [03:11] Kazuma     Ran... [03:13] Kazuma     This one's my treat, as a veteran adventurer. [03:18] Kazuma     If you want to be like me, you'll need     to be able to handle drinks like these. [03:23] Kazuma     Thank you so much! [03:24] Kazuma     I'll try! [03:33] Kazuma     C-Can I help you?     Did you want a handshake, too? [03:37] Guild     Not at all, Satou-san. [03:39] Guild     I actually had a request for you, [03:42] Guild     the veteran adventurer who just     pawned his drink off on a rookie. [03:46] Guild     You wouldn't refuse in front     of a fan, would you? [03:52] Guild     KONOSUBA! [03:54] Aqua     What?! Fight a golem?! [03:57] Aqua     Are you stupid? Are you literally stupid? [03:58] Aqua     I'm not doing it! We're set for money, [04:01] Aqua     so I'm going live the     easy life from now on! [04:04] Kazuma     The people in town are terrified, y'know! [04:06] Kazuma     Don't you feel any sense     of duty as an adventurer?! [04:08] Aqua     Who was the guy whining,     "No quests! No danger!" [04:12] Aqua     until just a while ago?! [04:15] Darkness     Golems are big, heavy, and hard, aren't they? [04:18] Darkness     I can only imagine the way something     so tough would let me have it... [04:22] Darkness     Very well! I, of course,     am ready to join you! [04:26] Kazuma     Looks like I don't need to explain! [04:27] Kazuma     You're in too, right, Megumin? [04:30] Megumin     I'm afraid that I need more girth than     a golem offers to be satisfied anymore. [04:34] Kazuma     You, the hothead who's     always ready to fight?! [04:37] Megumin     Do you think I'm a charging     bull or a berserker?! [04:40] Megumin     I have the right to choose who     I use my Explosion magic— [04:44] Kazuma     This kind of enemy would     be trouble, normally, [04:47] Kazuma     but with you there, it'll be over in one blast. [04:49] Kazuma     And once you do this,     your already significant fame [04:52] Kazuma     is bound to shine even brighter. [04:55] Kazuma     The tale will be told for generations. [04:56] Kazuma     And the Legend of Megumin     gains a another meaty chapter. [05:02] Megumin     Well, I suppose I have to, then!     Let's go! Right now! [05:06] Aqua     How can you be such a pushover, Megumin? [05:09] Aqua     Well, I'm not going! I'll watch the house. SIGN    Kill Quest SIGN    Eliminate the golem that guards the ruins SIGN    Difficulty Level: [05:22] Aqua     Give it back! Give me back my holy implement! [05:24] Kazuma     That must be it. [05:26] Aqua     Come on! Give it back! [05:26] Darkness     The giant golem doesn't seem     to be around, at a glance. [05:28] Aqua     Come on, Kazuma! [05:29] Aqua     You better not think you     can get away with this! [05:29] Megumin     Could it have wandered off? [05:32] Aqua     You can get into a lot of trouble     using this thing without being holy! [05:32] Megumin     That won't do! It'll be a loss     to the page count of my legend! [05:35] Aqua     Don't blame me! [05:36] Aqua     Seriously, it'll be bad! [05:36] Kazuma     Guess we'll have to get closer. [05:37] Aqua     And it won't be my fault!     Just give it back, you thieving NEET! [05:41] Kazuma     Oh, put a sock in it! [05:42] Kazuma     If it's really that important,     you should take better care of it! [05:45] Kazuma     You were using it to hang out the laundry! [05:48] Kazuma     Well, now that we're here,     there's no running! [05:51] Kazuma     Megumin can one-shot this thing. Just relax! [05:54] Aqua     You do have a point. [05:56] Aqua     Oh, well! [05:57] Aqua     Since it's a small fry     that Megumin can one-shot, [05:59] Aqua     let's wrap it up and head home! [06:02] Kazuma     Why do you like setting     ominous flags so much? [06:05] Darkness     All right, I'll head into the ruins first, then. [06:08] Darkness     The golem could be lurking somewhere. [06:10] Darkness     I's times like these when     you should rely on me. [06:13] Kazuma     Yeah. You're usually useless once     the real trouble starts, after all. [06:18] Kazuma     Okay, Megumin, stand by     on the edge of the ruins. [06:21] Megumin     Leave it to me! [06:22] Megumin     I'll blow it and the ruins to smithereens! [06:25] Kazuma     Yeah, they didn't ask for all that. [06:31] Aqua     Hey, I think the ground is shaking... [06:38] Darkness     Kazuma! I think this might     be a bit much, even for me! [06:42] Aqua     K-Kazuma-san... [06:43] Kazuma     Yeah? [06:44] Aqua     This is really bad, isn't it? [06:47] Megumin     Kazuma, this thing... [06:48] Kazuma     Yeah? [06:49] Megumin     What is it?! [06:54] Kazuma     Well, it's pretty obviously not a golem!     It's a giant humanoid robot! [06:59] Kazuma     A Japanese guy who got reincarnated     here is definitely behind this! [07:08] Kazuma     You okay, Darkness?! [07:11] Kazuma     What's wrong?! [07:11] Darkness     Kazuma, this is bad!     It's lighter than it looks! [07:15] Darkness     It won't be able to really let me have it! [07:17] Darkness     Although there is something appealing [07:20] Darkness     about getting trampled by     something this large... [07:23] Kazuma     Hey, Megumin! [07:25] Kazuma     Do the Explosion magic     before it's too late for her, [07:27] Kazuma     in more ways than one! [07:28] Megumin     I won't! [07:29] Kazuma     All right, we'll— Wait, what? [07:32] Megumin     I could never destroy such     a cool-looking golem! [07:36] Megumin     Kazuma, Kazuma, let's capture     it somehow and bring it home! [07:40] Kazuma     This is an emergency!     What are you saying?! [07:42] Megumin     I promise to feed it and take care of it! [07:45] Megumin     I'll even handle walks and training! [07:48] Kazuma     A pet?! You want a pet that size?! [07:50] Kazuma     What is wrong with your brain?! [07:52] Aqua     Hey, Kazuma! Darkness is... [08:05] Darkness     S-Stop it! [08:08] Darkness     Th-This is salacious! [08:11] Kazuma     We should see how this plays out. [08:13] Megumin     This man! [08:14] Darkness     N-No! [08:14] Megumin     That said, what do we do? [08:17] Darkness     Don't think you'll have your way with me! [08:17] Megumin     Darkness is in real trouble, [08:19] Megumin     but I can't bring myself to damage that     gleaming metal and dynamic form... [08:22] Darkness     Y-You may as well kill me! [08:24] Aqua     I'll make you an even cooler one!     Just do something, now! [08:28] Megumin     I'll hold you to that, all right? [08:31] Megumin     It has to be even cooler than that one! [08:35] Darkness     More... Do it more! [08:38] Kazuma     Darkness! Get over here before     she finishes the incantation! [08:41] Megumin     In the name of the crucible     of precepts that I encompass, [08:44] Megumin     the abyssal flesh howls! [08:46] Megumin     Now, become one with my vermilion conquest! [08:53] Darkness     The feeling in my chest! [08:56] Kazuma     Do it, Megumin! [08:58] Darkness     Rupture forth, Explosion! [09:17] Darkness     I am totally satisfied today! [09:19] Kazuma     I bet. [09:20] Darkness     Not only did I take a beating     like none I've had in ages, [09:22] Darkness     but it was under a filthy gaze! [09:24] Kazuma     Hey! [09:24] Darkness     It's been so long since I took     on such a fulfilling quest! [09:28] Kazuma     I wasn't even watching!     My filthy gaze wasn't aimed at you! [09:34] Megumin     Aqua, let's take the golem's     wreckage back with us! [09:37] Megumin     I'm sure that'll speed     along our construction! [09:39] Aqua     How are we supposed to carry     something that heavy? [09:42] Megumin     It's magnificent... [09:42] Aqua     I'll make you a     Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden [09:45] Aqua     out of milk cartons when     we get back, so be patient. [09:48] Megumin     Milk cartons? [09:50] Kazuma     Man... [09:55] Kazuma     Wait. That seems like bad news. [09:58] Aqua     Well, we're pretty awesome for taking     that thing out and coming out of it okay! [10:02] Aqua     Since we all did such a good job today, [10:05] Aqua     let's head home and have something tasty! [10:07] Kazuma     Idiot! Why do you have to     keep setting flags like that?! [10:15] Kazuma     KONOSUBA! [10:17] Kazuma     And so, after realizing it was a bit     much for Darkness to handle alone, [10:22] Kazuma     I courageously distracted the golem, [10:25] Kazuma     and that gave Megumin the chance to     nail it with her Explosion magic. [10:29] Kazuma     By the way, Aqua didn't do squat. [10:32] Kazuma     But that's just how it works     when we're on the case. [10:37] Ran     Your party is so amazing! [10:40] Kazuma     Well, that bit at the end with the explosion [10:42] Kazuma     had a few exaggerations for dramatic effect, [10:46] Kazuma     but I need to make things interesting     for my first fan, don't I? [10:50] Mitsurugi     Satou Kazuma! Why, if it isn't Satou Kazuma! [10:53] Mitsurugi     You're drinking in the afternoon     in a place like this? [10:56] Mitsurugi     Where's Aqua-sama? [10:57] Mitsurugi     Is she not with you? [10:59] Kazuma     You're... [11:02] Kazuma     Was it... Yamamoto? [11:03] Kazuma     No, Tanaka? [11:05] Kazuma     Take... [11:05] MItsurugi     You're not even close! It's Mitsurugi! [11:08] MItsurugi     Mitsurugi Kyouya!     Try to remember it, please! [11:11] Ran     M-M-Mitsurugi-san?! [11:13] Ran     Mitsurugi-san, the hero who's     famous for wielding a cursed sword?! [11:16] Kazuma     Wait. What is this? [11:18] Ran     You're him, right? The Mitsurugi-san     who's even been the talk of the capitol?! [11:21] Ran     I think I heard you defeated an     ancient dragon with a single attack! [11:24] Ran     Um, m-my name is Ran! [11:27] Ran     Is it okay if I... if I sh-shake your hand? [11:32] Mitsurugi     Hello there. It's nice to— [11:34] Kazuma     I remember now! [11:36] Kazuma     Mitsurugi, right.     As in the Mitsurugi who lost to me! [11:39] Kazuma     Sorry, our contest ended so     quickly, I completely forgot! [11:43] Ran     Huh? Mitsurugi-san? [11:44] Kazuma     I see, I see! You beat     an ancient dragon, huh? [11:47] Kazuma     Wow, gosh, that sure is something! [11:51] Kazuma     By the way, I've taken down three     of the Devil King's generals. [11:57] Mitsurugi     You never change, do you? [11:59] Kazuma     Oh, is that Gram the     Cursed Sword you got there? [12:02] Kazuma     You were able to track it down and     buy it back, eh, Mitsurugi-kun? [12:05] Kazuma     Well, good for you! [12:07] Kazuma     You look tougher for your efforts,     Mitsurugi-kun, my boy! [12:12] Guild     Excuse me, Satou Kazuma-san? [12:15] Guild     I have a request for you, [12:16] Guild     the man who defeated three of     the Devil King's generals... [12:21] Kazuma     Before you start, I'm not     accepting any quests! [12:24] Kazuma     We just got through with     that hellish golem hunt! [12:28] Ran     But you said it was easy     and you got out unscathed. [12:31] Kazuma     KONO...SUBA... [12:33] Aqua     What?! You took on another weird quest?! [12:37] Aqua     Are you stupid? [12:38] Aqua     Are you one of those idiots     who only pretends to be smart? [12:40] Aqua     This should be obvious,     but I'm really busy right now! [12:43] Aqua     Stop trying to save face and     head to the Guild to cancel! [12:48] Megumin     Aqua's right! [12:50] Megumin     We don't have time to waste     on that kind of nonsense! [12:53] Megumin     Now, let's put that request out of our heads [12:56] Megumin     and finish Dendromaiden! Quickly! [12:58] Megumin     We need to finish the construction of     Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden! [13:01] Kazuma     Hey, is that thing really     made out of milk cartons? [13:04] Aqua     Sure is. You want one, Kazuma? [13:07] Aqua     Well, you can't have one! [13:08] Aqua     There's only one Transforming-Combining     Dendromaiden in the whole world. [13:12] Aqua     If you want it, you'll have     to negotiate with Megumin. [13:14] Aqua     I bet she'd actually be successful if she     was doing anything else with her life. [13:19] Darkness     Well, we should at least     hear what kind of request it is. [13:24] Darkness     If it's a fearsome foe... [13:26] Darkness     I wouldn't be opposed to accepting it! [13:29] Megumin     Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden!     Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden! [13:29] Aqua     I'd rather hold off on doing     any quests for a while... [13:32] Kazuma     It'll be fine. [13:33] Kazuma     They just want us to explore the     ruins we cleared out the other day. [13:34] Megumin     Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden! [13:36] Kazuma     Plus, since we defeated the golem     that was guarding the place, [13:40] Kazuma     we can take any treasure we find back with— [13:44] Aqua     Let's do it! [13:45] Everyone     KO-NO-SU-BA! SIGN    Guild Request SIGN    Investigate inside the ruins SIGN    Difficulty Level: Unknown [13:49] Aqua     Say, this is just about     peeking inside, right? [13:53] Aqua     Couldn't you just use your Lurk     skill and handle it yourself? [13:58] Kazuma     I don't mind doing it that way, [14:00] Kazuma     but I'll be keeping all the treasure I find. [14:03] Aqua     Off we go! [14:04] Everyone     KONOSUBA! [14:10] Megumin     All of this magical equipment     defies even my comprehension... [14:13] Megumin     What could it be used for? [14:18] Darkness     From the faint aroma of this thing,     I'd guess it was a container for perfume? [14:23] Kazuma     That's an air freshener for a toilet! [14:26] Kazuma     I'm sure of it... [14:27] Kazuma     This place was built by a Japanese     person who reincarnated here! [14:32] Kazuma     Hey! My Enemy Detection skill just went off! [14:35] Aqua     It's probably just a smaller version     of that golem we beat before. [14:39] Aqua     Which means that Darkness     should be able to handle it. [14:42] Aqua     And while she has its attention,     Kazuma takes it down! [14:46] Aqua     It's not like Megumin and I can do     anything against an indoor golem, [14:50] Aqua     so we'll be cheering from the rear! [14:52] Kazuma     How about you cast support     magic from the rear instead?! [14:55] Aqua     You've got to be kidding me! [14:57] Aqua     My holy magic gets its power     from the prayers of my believers! [15:01] Aqua     Why would I waste that on some shut-in NEET? [15:07] Aqua     Why?! Why does it always happen to me?! [15:09] Aqua     Am I really that popular?! [15:11] Kazuma     Darkness, use Decoy!     Lure them away with your skill! [15:14] Darkness     I already used it, but something's not right! [15:17] Darkness     Could it be... [15:20] Megumin     Aqua! Those are ghosts, or something     else that has possessed the golems! [15:24] Megumin     Ghosts that have possessed a humanoid shape! [15:27] Megumin     Undead, in other words! [15:30] Aqua     God Blow! [15:39] Aqua     God... [15:42] Aqua     Requiem. [15:47] Aqua     I am on fire today. [15:51] Megumin     We haven't found anything     that looks valuable yet. [15:55] Darkness     And this looks like the last room. [15:57] Kazuma     Is this a vault? [15:58] Kazuma     Maybe there's a hint on how     to open it somewhere... [16:01] Aqua     What's this? [16:03] Aqua     Is it a journal? [16:08] Megumin     What in the world is that? [16:10] Megumin     I'm a Crimson Demon, and even I've     never seen this language before. [16:13] Aqua     It's Japanese. [16:15] Kazuma     What did the person who wrote this think? [16:19] Kazuma     I feel a little guilty about reading     someone else's journal, but... [16:25] Aqua     "Parallel World Log, Day 1. [16:27] Aqua     Today I arrived in this world     at the request of a goddess. [16:32] Aqua     I was sent to defeat the Devil King     and save this world. [16:36] Aqua     I'm sure it'll be an incredibly difficult task, [16:38] Aqua     but I'm determined to see it through." [16:41] Kazuma     Hearing that made me feel embarrassed. [16:45] Kazuma     We were sent to this world for the same     reason, but what have I been doing? [16:50] Kazuma     If the receptionist lady hadn't sent me here, [16:52] Kazuma     I'd probably be lazing around today... [16:56] Aqua     "Parallel World Log, Day 7. [16:59] Aqua     I tested the power that     the goddess granted me. [17:02] Aqua     It has its conditions for use, [17:04] Aqua     but it's incredibly powerful.     It lets me create whatever I want. [17:10] Aqua     With it, I think I could     even conquer the world. [17:15] Aqua     But my wish remains the same: [17:17] Aqua     defeat the Devil King,     and save the people of this world." [17:22] Kazuma     The power to create whatever he wanted... [17:24] Kazuma     That's definitely a cheat-level power     that'd make world conquest possible. [17:28] Kazuma     But he, in spite of it all, [17:31] Kazuma     still wanted to save this world! [17:35] Aqua     "Parallel World Log, Day 113. [17:38] Aqua     I've been trying, but struggling, [17:39] Aqua     to create something that can     stand against the Devil King. [17:42] Aqua     I think the conditions that come     with my power may be the problem. [17:46] Aqua     I need a strong desire to     be able to create things... [17:50] Aqua     Essentially, how much do I     want the thing I'm making? [17:54] Aqua     Does that mean I don't want to defeat     the Devil King badly enough? [17:59] Aqua     my doubts keep piling up." [18:01] Kazuma     The journal makes it clear     how much he struggled. [18:05] Kazuma     And at the same time, [18:06] Kazuma     I saw how much he was practicing     the writing of this world. [18:10] Kazuma     The Japanese language gradually     began to dwindle in the journal, [18:14] Kazuma     until it was replaced with     this world's language. [18:18] Aqua     "I understand what I really want. [18:22] Aqua     But it's not as if I don't want     to defeat the Devil King. [18:26] Aqua     I'm so lost. Just what is it I should do? [18:30] Aqua     I asked myself that question again and again. [18:33] Aqua     And after I finally overcame my doubts..." [18:38] Prof     I'm giving up on defeating the Demon King. [18:41] Prof     I mean, what do you want?     I used to be a NEET! [18:45] Prof     I can't change that much on the inside     just because I came to another world! [18:49] Prof     I'm gonna do what I want from now on, [18:50] Prof     and make only the stuff I really want to. [18:53] Prof     First up is every man's dream,     a beautiful robot girl. [18:56] Prof     A giant robot would be good, too. [18:59] Prof     Oh, man, maybe both! [19:01] Kazuma     Hey, now... [19:02] Prof     I built a giant robot,     or I guess, a giant golem. [19:05] Prof     But it's no good! I can't pilot it. [19:08] Prof     I tried, but nope. [19:10] Prof     It felt like being tossed around     inside a washing machine. [19:14] Prof     But since I already built it, I'll have     it guard this place or something. [19:18] Prof     Oh! Gotta remember to add a self-destruct. [19:22] Prof     Parallel World Log Day 289. [19:24] Prof     Time to start development on the     beautiful golem girl of my dreams. [19:27] Prof     But it's been nothing but failure... [19:29] Prof     I mean, her thighs are hard as metal! [19:32] Prof     And she can't adjust her strength! [19:33] Prof     It felt like my neck was gonna     snap from her rubbing my head! [19:38] Prof     There was one other crucial defect. [19:40] Prof     It was missing the most important feature [19:42] Prof     a beautiful girl robot needs, damn it! [19:46] Prof     Both the giant golem and her... [19:49] Prof     The second I take my eyes     off them, they go berserk! [19:51] Prof     Is this their rebellious phase? [19:54] Kazuma     Whoa, hang on a sec! [19:56] Prof     Parallel World Log, Day 563. [19:59] Prof     I'm getting back to basics. [20:01] Prof     Focusing on creating something that     suits my needs, with no compromises. [20:05] Prof     First things first! What do I want? [20:08] Prof     Am I a masochist or a sadist?     Actually, let's put a pin in that for later. [20:12] Prof     Parallel World Log, Day 783. [20:15] Prof     It's wrong! But why?! [20:17] Prof     Something about the face? The hairstyle? [20:20] Prof     Or is it the sculpt itself? [20:22] Prof     I'm starting over from the design phase! [20:25] Prof     If I start compromising now,     it'd be a waste of all my efforts! [20:29] Prof     By the way, I'm a masochist! [20:31] Prof     Oh, crap, I'm nasty! Woo! [20:32] Prof     Anyway, let's put that aside for now. [20:34] Kazuma     Yeah, I know what this is.     This guy is hopeless! [20:38] Prof     Parallel World Log, Day 1,230. [20:41] Prof     I've realized something. [20:43] Prof     It makes sense! With my talent, [20:45] Prof     I don't need to mess around     with a beautiful girl golem! [20:48] Prof     I'll just hook up with one of the     major technological countries, [20:50] Prof     then get paid and hire me a hot maid! [20:54] Prof     Oh, man, I am so psyched now! [20:56] Prof     To the goddess who sent me     to this world, many thanks! [21:00] Kazuma     It was you?! [21:03] Megumin     "Postscript. If anyone     is reading this journal, [21:06] Megumin     please take care of the     golems around this building. [21:10] Megumin     None of them listen to a thing I say, [21:12] Megumin     but I care about them like my own children." [21:14] Everyone     KO! NO! SU! BA! [21:16] Aqua     Come on, Kazuma, let's head back! [21:18] Aqua     Let's say we checked the place out. [21:21] Aqua     I've got a bad feeling about what'll     happen if we open this door! [21:24] Kazuma     What are you talking about? [21:26] Kazuma     The journal said there's a beautiful     girl golem behind this door! [21:30] Kazuma     And there's no telling when it     might run amok like that big one. [21:34] Kazuma     Veteran adventurers like us can't     just ignore something that dangerous! [21:39] Darkness     What's gotten into you,     Kazuma? This isn't like you. [21:41] Kazuma     It's not? [21:42] Darkness     But it's good that you've realized your     responsibilities as a veteran adventurer. [21:46] Kauma     Why, thanks. [21:46] Aqua     Come on! I can already tell     you what's gonna happen next! [21:49] Kazuma     Go on, then. [21:50] Aqua     Something freaky is gonna show up, [21:52] Aqua     Darkness is gonna squirm, I'm gonna cry, [21:54] Aqua     and Megumin's gonna scorch everything     without listening to a word you say, Kazuma! [21:57] Kazuma     Well, that's no good. [21:58] Aqua     And then, since this valuable     location will have been wrecked, [22:01] Aqua     we'll be stuck with the debt somehow! [22:02] Kazuma     Man, cut it out. You make     it sound really convincing. [22:06] Megumin     Don't be so rude, Aqua. [22:07] Megumin     Even I wouldn't dare cast     magic in a place like this. [22:11] Megumin     I'd do the right thing     and wait until I'm outdoors. [22:13] Kazuma     Wait, what did you say? [22:28] Darkness     Hey, Kazuma, look! [22:30] Kazuma     This is it... [22:31] Kazuma     The beautiful girl golem created     by my predecessor in this world! [22:35] Kazuma     Yes! Behind this glass case     is the dream of every man! [22:42] Megumin     Hey, you want to explain     that hand on my shoulder? [22:46] Kazuma     I'll do that once you tell me     what you were about to do. [22:52] Megumin     If there's a button, then as a Crimson Demon, [22:54] Megumin     I can't rest until I've pressed it,     even if I know what it'll do! [22:58] Kazuma     Don't you dare! [22:59] Kazuma     That's bound to result in the thing     where whoever wakes her up [23:02] Kazuma     gets the "Are you my master?" question! [23:04] Kazuma     You'd better not press it! You hear me?! [23:06] Aqua     Boop. [23:11] Aqua     Th-That wasn't my fault. [23:13] Aqua     If I had to assign blame, [23:15] Aqua     I'd say it's Kazuma's fault for     saying no one should press it! [23:18] Kazuma     Would it kill you to not do     something stupid for once?! [23:22] Darkness     Everyone, quickly, get behind me! [23:33] Golem     Which of you is my master? [23:36] Kazuma     It's me. [23:37] Megumin     Seriously?! He didn't even hesitate! [23:40] Aqua     Yeah. I've never seen him     respond so quickly to anything! [23:43] Darkness     Hey! Don't be this thing's master! [23:45] Darkness     If you're into that kind of play, [23:47] Darkness     I can do it with you, so get back here! [23:50] Kazuma     Shut it! [23:51] Kazuma     It's every man's dream to become the     master of a beautiful robot girl! [23:55] Golem     You are my master? [23:58] Kazuma     Yep. [24:04] Golem     Now, master... [24:06] Golem     It's time for your punishment. [24:10] Golem     Sit down! [24:11] Golem     Down, boy! Stay! Kennel! Kennel! [24:15] Prof     By the way, I'm a masochist! [24:17] Prof     Oh, crap, I'm nasty! Woo! Oh, man, am I nasty! [24:21] Golem     Hey, jerk! What's up?! Squeal for me! [24:24] Golem     Let me hear you squeal!     Come on, nice and loud! [24:27] Kazuma     The face is definitely not the problem here! [24:32] Golem     Enjoy play. [24:35] Kazuma     And that's how it happened. [24:38] Kazuma     Afterward, my skilled execution ensured [24:41] Kazuma     the golems of the ruins would rest in peace. [24:47] Aqua     Hey, he's been bragging     to that rookie adventurer [24:50] Aqua     about his fantasies all the time lately. [24:52] Aqua     When in reality that crazy     thing that came after us [24:56] Aqua     had Darkness squirming, me crying, [24:59] Aqua     and Megumin scorching everything     without listening to a word he said! [25:03] Aqua     Plus, with the ruins destroyed, [25:06] Aqua     we even had to pay damages for     failure to complete the quest! [25:08] Megumin     Shh! [25:10] Megumin     Something like a fan of     Kazuma's is a rare find. [25:13] Megumin     Let's leave them be. [25:15] Megumin     It won't be long before he messes up     and she gets sick of him, anyway! [25:18] Darkness     Indeed. And he's bound to come     back crying when that happens. [25:22] Darkness     Let's be kind to him when he does. [25:25] Ran     Really? That's quite impressive! [25:27] Ran     Um, I'll talk to you next time! [25:31] Kazuma     Huh? Did I do something wrong? [25:34] Kazuma     No, no, nothing I can think of... [25:36] Kazuma     I mean, maybe I repeated the     same story once or twice... [25:41] Kazuma     Thanks for the drinks! [25:42] Waitress     Come again! [25:48] Kazuma     Some kind of argument? [25:50] Kazuma     Since she's my first fan, [25:52] Kazuma     I guess a veteran adventurer     like me should help her out. [25:54] Ran     I swear... [25:56] Ran     I heard this was going to be an easy     job, just motivating some NEET, [26:00] Ran     but it's not worth what it's paying anymore! [26:02] Ran     He chases me down every day     and repeats the same stories! [26:07] Ran     The other adventurers are starting     to say I have terrible taste in men! [26:10] Ran     You gotta pay me extra for this! [26:12] Guild     I understand your complaints,     but you were made aware of all this [26:17] Guild     when you accepted such a high-paying job. [26:19] Guild     That party's quite troublesome, [26:21] Guild     but they've managed some     real accomplishments. [26:23] Guild     Too many to let them just sit idle. [26:25] Ran     I get that, but that doesn't     mean I should have to... [26:33] Aqua     Look at that! Kazuma's quaking! [26:36] Megumin     Come on, don't laugh at him! [26:38] Megumin     This is even worse than getting sick of him! [26:39] Megumin     She was leading him on the whole time! [26:42] Darkness     W-Well, let's all be kind     to him when he gets back... [26:48] Guild     Oh, um, Satou Kazuma-san!     It's not what you think! [26:51] Guild     See, it was a request from the     higher-ups at the Guild... [26:55] Guild     It's just... y'know, Kazuma-san,     I've always thought you, um... [27:01] Ran     I just accepted the request, so... [27:03] Ran     But, uh, what I said about     admiring you was true, so... [27:09] Both     You're sorta kinda okay, you know? [27:15] Kazuma     Steal! [27:16] Both     No! Movie M1 - Legend of Crimson Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Capture Quest SIGN    Collect Migrating Tuna SIGN    Quest Failed [01:00] Customer 1     Did you hear? Starting next year,     there won't be any more tuna. [01:04] Customer 2     Some crazy mage screwed     up the entire landscape. [01:08] Customer 3     I always look forward to tuna season... [01:12] Kazuma     Zero points. [01:13] Megumin     What?! Come on, today's Explosion magic     was worth at least worth 120 points! [01:17] Kazuma     It was worth nothing,     and that's being generous! [01:19] (Flashback) Megumin     —sion! [01:19] Kazuma     You let loose an Explosion     because you thought [01:22] Kazuma     a monster was going to take our tuna?! [01:24] Kazuma     What's the point if you blow up the fish, too?! [01:25] (Flashback) Megumin     —sion! [01:26] Kazuma     Would it kill you to learn some     other advanced magic already?! [01:29] Darkness     Kazuma, that's going too far. [01:31] Kazuma     You reek of fish. [01:36] Kazuma     As soon as we got on the water,      they were gnawing on you! [01:38] Aqua     Hey, are we in debt again now? [01:41] Aqua     What are we gonna do?! [01:42] Aqua     I don't wanna work part-time anymore! [01:45] Kazuma     The arch priest who makes everything a pain. [01:48] Kazuma     The arch wizard who makes     everything go to waste. [01:51] Kazuma     And the crusader who makes     everything smell like wild game. [01:54] Kazuma     It seems my adventure with these useless     comrades is headed for its climax! [01:59] Lady Adventurer 31     Isn't stealing underwear     the only thing he's good at? [02:03] Lady Adventurer 1B     He's the kind of scumbag who'd dropkick     a woman without a second thought! [02:06] Lady Adventurer 1B     Scumzuma! Scumzuma! Scumzuma! [02:11] Kazuma     If this was an anime or a video game, [02:13] Kazuma     I'd probably have some     romantic interests by now... [02:20] Kazuma     Hey, it's Yunyun.     What's got you so looking so intense? [02:25] Yunyun     K-Kazuma-san... [02:26] Kazuma     Uh, yeah? [02:27] Yunyun     I... I... [02:30] Yunyun     I want to have your baby! [02:34] Kazuma     And thus begins my popular phase! SIGN    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!     Legend of Crimson SIGN    The Movie [02:48] Aqua     Ow! [02:50] Aqua     Why'd you scratch me?! [02:52] Kazuma     Could you say that again for me? [02:55] Yunyun     I-I said I want to have a baby with you! [03:00] Kazuma     I've always wanted to start with a daughter... [03:03] Yunyun     N-No! The first child has to be a boy! [03:06] Kazuma     I thought she was on the meek side, [03:09] Kazuma     but she actually knows how to speak her mind! [03:11] Megumin     What is wrong with you, Yunyun?! [03:13] Aqua     Stop! Chomusuke! [03:14] Darkness     Do you realize what kind of man he is?! [03:16] Megumin     You need to snap out of it! [03:17] Megumin     What in the world's gotten into you? [03:19] Yunyun     If Kazuma and I don't have a baby,     the world will... And the Devil King... [03:24] Megumin     The Devil King? [03:25] Kazuma     I see. The fate of the world, huh? [03:28] Kazuma     It's all right, dear. You can leave     the world and the Devil King to me. [03:31] Kazuma     Once we have this baby, [03:34] Kazuma     the Devil King will be dealt with     and the world saved, right? [03:37] Kazuma     How could I possibly refuse someone in need? [03:41] Darkness     B-But you always try to get out     of monster extermination quests! [03:45] Megumin     Seriously! [03:46] Kazuma     Shut it! [03:49] Kazuma     Keep your noses out of our     relationship, got it?! [03:51] Kazuma     I'm finally in my popular phase! So buzz off! [03:55] Megumin     He's mad at us? [03:56] Megumin     But if an acquaintance of mine is     getting involved with a shady guy, [03:59] Megumin     it's only natural that I'd speak up! [04:01] Yunyun     C-Calm down, everyone! [04:02] Yunyun     I'm sorry! This is my fault!     Please, just calm down! [04:05] Kazuma     Wonderful! Magnificent! [04:07] Kazuma     For the first time ever,     I'm glad I came to this world! [04:09] Kazuma     And what is with you two?     Do you secretly like me or something? [04:12] Kazuma     Are you jealous because of my     romantic developments with Yunyun? [04:16] Kazuma     Then you should've just     said so, you tsundere duo! [04:18] Megumin     How dare you?! [04:19] Yunyun     Megumin, the Crimson Demon Village... [04:20] Megumin     Why would anyone be jealous about that?! [04:21] Yunyun     The Crimson Demon Village     is going to be wiped out! [04:23] Megumin     You must think— [04:25] Multi     KONOSUBA! [04:29] Aqua     Your tea. [04:30] Yunyun     Th-Thank you... [04:35] Megumin     Now, what exactly is going on? [04:38] Yunyun     I got this letter from my father... [04:43] Megumin     "By the time you receive this letter, [04:45] Megumin     I will surely have passed on." [04:53] Megumin     It says the Crimson Demon Village is     under attack by the Devil King's forces. [04:57] Megumin     "A fortune-teller saw a future where     the village would be devastated... [05:01] Megumin     But they also saw a light of hope. [05:04] Megumin     That light was the only survivor of     the Crimson Demons, Yunyun." [05:08] Megumin     How is she the only survivor? [05:11] Yunyun     Forget that, just keep reading! [05:12] Megumin     But what happened to me?! [05:16] Megumin     "As the only survivor, [05:18] Megumin     she would meet a certain man     in the town of beginners. [05:22] Megumin     This man, though unremarkable     and with no special power, [05:25] Megumin     will become her spouse." [05:28] Kazuma     Why'd you look at me after reading that? [05:31] Kazuma     And was that seriously all it     took to convince you it was me?! [05:34] Megumin     "Then, as time passes, [05:36] Megumin     the son born to her and this     man would go on a journey. [05:40] Megumin     But the boy did not know... [05:42] Megumin     that he would be the one to avenge     his clan and slay the Devil King..." [05:49] Kazuma     O-Our little boy's gonna beat the Devil King?! [05:52] Darkness     Wait a second, Kazuma! [05:53] Aqua     Hey, that doesn't work for me! [05:55] Aqua     That seriously isn't gonna cut it! [05:57] Aqua     I can't wait that long! [05:59] Aqua     I want the Devil King defeated      as soon as possible! [06:01] Aqua     Do you really expect me to     wait until your kid grows up?! [06:04] Aqua     Can't we wrap this up in three years or so? [06:06] Aqua     Because if not, then I want you     to forget about this prophecy! [06:09] Kazuma     You seriously want a toddler     to take on the Devil King? [06:12] Yunyun     Our village has very skilled     fortune-tellers. So... [06:17] Kazuma     I understand. In that case,     you can count on me. [06:20] Kazuma     It's to save the world. It must be done. [06:21] Darkness     I-I can't believe you! [06:23] Darkness     You're usually so wishy-washy!     Why the sudden streak of manliness?! [06:27] Kazuma     Shut up! Stop talking, boobs! [06:28] Megumin     "Heroic Tales of the     Crimson Demons, Chapter 1." [06:29] Darkness     Boobs?! [06:30] Kazuma     It's just having a kid!     Or is that a crime now?! [06:31] Megumin     "Written by Arue." [06:38] Yunyun     Arue, you dummy! [06:39] Kazuma     Wait, what does that mean?! Explain! [06:41] Kazuma     What happens to my kid?! What do I do?! [06:44] Kazuma     Do I strip here? Or in my room?! [06:47] Megumin     Arue is a classmate of ours from the     village who wants to be an author. [06:51] Darkness     So it was just a story, then... [06:54] Darkness     But what about that first letter? [06:56] Megumin     I believe this one is genuine. [06:59] Megumin     The Crimson Demons have     been a thorn in the side [07:02] Megumin     of the Devil King's army for a long time. [07:04] Kazuma     Wait, hold up! What do I do about     my masculine obligation now?! [07:08] Kazuma     Hey, Yunyun? [07:09] Kazuma     Aren't we supposed to start a     bittersweet relationship now? [07:11] Darkness     You are not! [07:12] Darkness     Megumin, why are you so calm about this? [07:15] Darkness     Aren't you worried about     your family and classmates? [07:17] Yunyun     Th-That's right! [07:19] Yunyun     What should we do, Megumin?! [07:21] Megumin     The Crimson Demons are feared     by the Devil King for a reason. [07:24] Megumin     I have a hard time believing our     village will go down without a fight. [07:28] Megumin     Besides, as long as the chief's     daughter, Yunyun, is safe, [07:32] Megumin     we won't die out, even if     the village is destroyed. [07:36] Megumin     So we need only think of it in these terms: [07:39] Megumin     "Our friends from the village will     always live on... in our hearts." [07:44] Yunyun     Megumin, you monster! [07:48] Megumin     KONOSU—bahck! [07:49] Yunyun     I am so, so sorry! [07:52] Kazuma     H-Hey, it's no big deal. [07:54] Kazuma     But what are you gonna do? [07:56] Yunyun     Well, I think I'll head back to the village. [07:59] Yunyun     I have... f-friends... there. [08:03] Kazuma     She sure hesitated to use     the word "friends" there. [08:07] Yunyun     Everyone, if you'll excuse me. [08:27] Wiz     Teleporting? [08:29] Wiz     You need me to send you near     the Crimson Demon Village, then? [08:32] Kazuma     Yeah, the tsundere here feels homesick. [08:35] Megumin     Wh-Who are you calling a tsundere?! [08:37] Vanir     Well, look who it is! [08:39] Vanir     The man with the easiest-to-level class, [08:40] Vanir     who somehow still manages     to be under-leveled! [08:43] Vanir     The girl who's been useless as of late,     except at calling in familial favors! [08:47] Vanir     The small-time priest who's     overflowing with obnoxious light, [08:49] Vanir     and the girl from the joke race who     can only use joke magic! Welcome, all! [08:54] Vanir     I was actually hoping to run into you. [08:55] Vanir     I've drawn up our little contract. [08:58] Kazuma     You're really gonna go     through with this, right? [09:00] Vanir     But of course! [09:01] Vanir     I'll buy the rights to Satou Kazuma's intellectual     property library for 300 million eris. [09:06] Satou     O-Okay! [09:07] Vanir     That said, my debt-ridden fellow,     the deal hasn't been completed yet. [09:08] Wiz     Here you are. [09:11] Wiz     Drink up. [09:12] Vanir     I haven't settled on a craftsman to     build the products you've dreamed up. [09:17] Kazuma     Hey, man! [09:20] Vanir     Hands off the merchandise,     you walking blight! [09:23] Aqua     Excuse me?! I thought the     customer was always right! [09:25] Aqua     And I'm a goddess, so I'm extra right! [09:28] Aqua     So show me the respect a goddess deserves! [09:30] Vanir     How dare you try and lecture me [09:32] Vanir     after damaging my merchandise,     you poverty-stricken goddess?! [09:35] Vanir     Wiz, transport them out of here immediately! [09:38] Vanir     So irritating! [09:39] Wiz     Okay, I'll send you to the vicinity     of the Crimson Demon Village now. [09:43] Wiz     I wish you a wonderful     journey and experience. [09:46] Wiz     Teleport! [09:50] Kazuma     We're off! [09:57] Vanir     What is it? [09:58] Wiz     Isn't the Crimson Demon Village near... SIGN    Emergency quest!! SIGN    Survive! Defend yourselves!! [10:17] Kazuma     Where the hell did you teleport us, Wiz?! [10:26] Orc 3     Hold it right there! [10:28] Orc 1     Hey there, handsome!     Wanna have some fun with me? [10:32] Kazuma     Why is there a mob of lady orcs?! [10:35] Megumin     Kazuma, there aren't any     male orcs left in the world! [10:39] Megumin     They were wiped out ages ago! [10:42] Megumin     And on the rare occasion that one is born, [10:44] Megumin     they're usually overworked by the females     and die before they can fully mature! [10:47] Megumin     The surviving female orcs are known     for capturing males of other races, [10:51] Megumin     dragging them back to their communities,     and doing all kinds of crazy stuff to them! [10:54] Megumin     They're natural-born predators of men! [10:57] Orc 1     Come spend a few days in our village     and you'll have a harem, baby! [11:00] Orc 1     We'll give you a taste of heaven on earth! [11:03] Kazuma     No, thank you! [11:05] Kazuma     I just turned down a lady's     invitation for the first time! [11:09] Darkness     Wait! Orcs are supposed to be the     natural predators of lady knights! [11:11] Darkness     Male orcs! Renowned for their libido,     attacking women the second they see them! [11:16] Megumin     They're all dead. [11:19] Aqua     Darkness! [11:23] Orc 1     I'm gonna have your babies! [11:25] Orc 2     No, me! [11:26] Orc 3     I think I'd like a son first!     And then 60 boys, and 40 girls! [11:31] Orc 3     We'll move into a white house by the sea [11:32] Orc 3     and spend every day all over each other! [11:35] Kazuma     Let me go! I just wanna go home! [11:42] Both     Kazuma! [11:45] Orc 3     Okay, this won't take long!     Just close your eyes! [11:48] Kazuma     Save me, Megumin! Do the thing!     The thing you always do! [11:51] Megumin     I can't use it at this range! [11:54] Megumin     Darkness, stop being depressed! [11:56] Kazuma     Can we talk?! Let's talk! [11:58] Orc 3     Pillow talk?! I'd love to! [12:01] Orc 3     Go ahead and tell me all the dirtiest     fantasies you've kept bottled up! [12:07] Kazuma     P-Please stop! [12:09] Kazuma     Wait, your name! I don't even     know your name or age yet! [12:13] Kazuma     This might be my first time! [12:16] Kazuma     Can we maybe start with introductions?! [12:18] Kazuma     I'm Satou Kazuma! [12:20] Orc 3     I'm Swatti the orc, and     I'm a sweet 16-year-old! [12:24] Orc 3     Now, how about you introduce me     to what you've got down here? [12:26] Orc 3     Let me meet your big little boy! [12:32] Kazuma     But he's so shy! [12:34] Kazuma     We made our introductions, so could     we call it a wrap for today?! [12:38] Kazuma     Aqua! Aqua, save me! [12:39] Yunyun     Bottomless Swamp! [12:45] Yunyun     Orcs who live near the Crimson Demon Village! [12:49] Yunyun     I'm willing to overlook this     because we're neighbors! [12:52] Yunyun     Now, begone! [12:54] Kazuma     Yunyun! It's Yunyun! [12:59] Megumin     Kazuma! [13:00] Aqua     Kazuma-san! [13:08] Kazuma     Yunyun! Oh, Yunyun! [13:11] Kazuma     Thank you so much! [13:13] Yunyun     It's all right, don't worry. [13:15] Yunyun     Um... Y-You're covering my robe in snot! SIGN    Quest Failed SIGN    Kazuma was psychologically scarred SIGN    Kazuma was psychologically scarred SIGN    Orc (♀) [13:28] Aqua     There, there.     That was scary, wasn't it, Kazuma? [13:30] Aqua     You're okay now, though. It's all right. [13:33] Darkness     What exactly happened     while I was passed out? [13:37] Darkness     We only just started this journey. [13:39] Kazuma     I am so grateful, Yunyun. [13:41] Kazuma     To be specific, from now on, if anyone     asks me, "Who do you look up to?" [13:46] Kazuma     I'm going to answer "Yunyun!" right away. [13:49] Yunyun     P-Please don't do that! [13:51] Yunyun     It almost sounds sarcastic! [13:53] Yunyun     What are you all doing here, anyway? [13:56] Yunyun     Megumin, were you worried     about the village after all? [14:01] Megumin     I just remembered some     business I had back home. [14:03] Yunyun     You just won't admit it! [14:04] Yunyun     You really are worried about everyone! [14:07] Yunyun     Aren't you? [14:08] Yunyun     Kazuma, would you like to hear an     embarrassing secret about Yunyun? [14:13] Yunyun     We Crimson Demons are born with     a tattoo somewhere on our bodies. [14:18] Yunyun     And in the case of Yunyun,     if you can believe it... [14:22] Yunyun     Hey, cut it out! [14:24] Yunyun     How do you even know where my tattoo is?! [14:27] Yunyun     You can't use your joke Explosion     magic around here, anyway! [14:30] Yunyun     So I can easily restrain you if I have to! [14:33] Megumin     Aqua, I need support magic. [14:35] Megumin     I think this girl needs to     be taught a painful lesson. [14:37] Yunyun     Y-You coward!     You never play fair, Megumin! [14:40] Yunyun     Never once, ever! [14:42] S. Goblin     Hey, over here! I hear human voices! [14:51] Megumin     Do you suppose they're with     the Devil King's army? [14:54] Megumin     This is because of your short     temper and shouting, Yunyun! [14:58] Yunyun     But Megumin, you've got     a shorter fuse than me! [15:00] Megumin     Say that again! [15:02] Darkness     Enough, you two!     If you're too loud, they'll find us. [15:05] Darkness     Kazuma, say something! [15:08] Kazuma     Hey, who gives a damn?!     Tell me where Yunyun's tattoo is! [15:11] S. Goblin     Found them! They're over here!     They were hiding in the bushes! [15:14] Darkness     What in the world is wrong with you?! [15:18] S. Goblin     There's even some Crimson Demon brats! [15:32] Aqua     Well, if it isn't a bunch of discount,      wannabe demons! [15:34] Aqua     Oh, my! [15:36] Aqua     What might a bunch of ogre-looking wash-outs [15:38] Aqua     who couldn't even cut it as     lesser demons want with us? [15:44] Aqua     Look, I'll let you walk away     this one time, so scram. [15:47] Aqua     Go on, get! [15:51] S. Goblin     Hey, priest lady, what gives? [15:53] S. Goblin     The Crimson Demons put us through hell,      and you've got two of them! [15:57] S. Goblin     You really think we're     gonna just let them walk?! [16:01] Megumin     I seem to recall you saying     my magic is a joke. [16:04] Megumin     Perhaps I should remind you     of just how serious it can be. [16:09] Yunyun     W-Wait a second... You're not gonna... [16:13] Megumin     Explosion! [16:23] Megumin     Did you see that?!     My ultimate spell, Explosion magic! [16:26] Megumin     Well, would you still call that a joke spell?! [16:29] Megumin     How about it, Kazuma?!     What score would you give that Explosion?! [16:32] Kazuma     You get negative 90 points! [16:34] Kazuma     What now?! Because we're in no     condition to carry you away now! [16:38] S. Goblin     H-H-Holy crap, that was scary... [16:41] S. Goblin     But now my reinforcements are here. [16:44] S. Goblin     Say your prayers, people! [16:47] S. Goblin     Time to cry and beg for mercy,     not that it's gonna help! [16:58] Bukkororii     Not even a scrap of flesh will remain! [17:01] Bukkororii     The dark flame born from my     ebon heart will scorch you! [17:05] Red Eye Dead Slayer C     Slumber for eternity in the     frozen embrace of my ice! [17:10] REDS E     I... kill... you. [17:14] Soketto     Now... it is born! [17:16] S. Goblin     Aw, crap! [17:18] Bukkororii     Light of Saber! [17:19] REDS C     Light of Saber! [17:21] REDS D     ...Saber! [17:22] Soketto     ...ber! [17:31] Kazuma     Wait, what happened to the dark     flames and frozen embraces? [17:36] Kazuma     No doubt about it, though. [17:38] Kazuma     Those red eyes... [17:40] Bukkororii     We heard an explosion in the distance... [17:43] Bukkororii     and here we find Megumin and Yunyun. [17:46] Megumin     We were told that the village      might be in danger. [17:51] Bukkororii     I'm curious, Megumin. Are these     people your adventuring party? [18:02] Bukkororii     I am called Bukkororii! [18:03] Bukkororii     The son of the foremost cobbler     among the Crimson Demons! [18:06] Bukkororii     Arch wizard, and wielder of advanced magic! [18:09] Kazuma     Hey there. I'm called Satou Kazuma. [18:13] Kazuma     From my home in Axel,     I have mastered countless skills [18:15] Kazuma     and used them to battle     the Devil King's generals. [18:19] Bukkororii     No outsider has been able to     properly return a greeting before! [18:22] Bukkororii     Megumin, your friends seem really nice. [18:27] Bukkororii     The village is still some distance away.      Let us take you there. [18:31] Bukkororii     Teleport! [18:46] Bukkororii     Welcome to the     Crimson Demon Village, outsiders. [18:49] Bukkororii     And it's good to have you     back, Megumin, Yunyun. [18:59] Yunyun     D-Dad? Could you repeat that? [19:04] Chief     That was just me sending you an update! [19:07] Dad     Uh, sir, what exactly do you mean? [19:09] Yunyun     But it said, "By the time you receive     this letter, I will surely have passed on." [19:13] Chief     That's the traditional Crimson Demon greeting! [19:16] Yunyun     But you said you wouldn't be able     to destroy the Devil King's fortress! [19:19] Chief     Yeah. [19:20] Chief     The village can't decide whether to destroy     it or leave it as a tourist attraction. [19:25] Kazuma     Yunyun, can I punch your dad in the face? [19:29] Yunyun     Go ahead. [19:30] Chief     Yunyun?! [19:32] Darkness     If the Devil King's army is nearby,      then is a general... [19:35] Chief     Sure, there's one with them.     Strong with magic, I believe. [19:37] Chief     Should be showing up anytime now. [19:40] Speaker     Devil King Army alert. [19:42] Speaker     Anyone available, please assemble     at the entrance to the village. [19:45] Speaker     The enemy force numbers around 1,000. [19:48] Both     A thousand?! SIGN    Devil King Forces Approaching! [19:55] Goblin R     Sylvia-sama! Retreat! [19:58] Goblin R     You have to survive,     even if the rest of us don't! [20:01] Goblin H     Damn it! Damn it!     If we could just get close enough— [20:05] Goblin N     I said we never should've     attacked the Crimson Demons! [20:08] Goblin N     Nobody ever listens to me! [20:11] Goblin O     Suck on this boulder! [20:19] Kazuma     Holy crap... [20:21] Kazuma     This is... so impressive, it's freaky, honestly. [20:24] Chief     What do you think? [20:26] Chief     We've been wondering if the light     show might attract tourists! [20:29] Multi     KONOSUBA... [20:32] Kazuma     So, those are real Crimson Demons, huh? [20:36] Megumin     When you put it that way, it makes     it sound like you know a fake one. [20:40] Megumin     Why don't you explain exactly     what you mean by that? [20:45] Aqua     Hey, Megumin, is that your stable? [20:50] Megumin     That's not a stable. It's the house. [21:07] Kazuma     Is this your little sister, Megumin? [21:09] Kazuma     She's pretty cute! [21:11] Aqua     It's like having a mini Megumin! [21:14] Aqua     Hey, want some candy? [21:16] Megumin     I'm back, Komekko. [21:23] Komekko     Dad! Megumin's back, and she's snared a man! [21:28] Kazuma     Hey, little missy!     Could we perhaps discuss this?! [21:30] Kazuma     KONOSUBA! [21:41] Kazuma     What do I do? [21:43] Kazuma     The one who's supposed to smooth     a situation like this over is... [21:51] Kazuma     Damn you! [21:53] Aqua     Look at this! [21:55] Aqua     See how the mug moves around     once I've flipped it over? [21:58] Komekko     Oh, wow! How'd you do it?!     How are you doing that? [22:02] Darkness     It's a magnet!     It must be some kind of magnet! [22:04] Aqua     No, there are no magnets or magic involved! [22:06] Hyoizaburo     So... [22:08] Hyoizaburo     What exactly is the nature of your     relationship with our daughter? [22:13] Kazuma     Like I've been saying, we're just frie— [22:17] Yuiyui     Honey! [22:18] Yuiyui     Stop! No more flipping     the table and breaking it! [22:22] Yuiyui     We don't have that kind of money! Stop! [22:36] Hyoi     Forgive me. I lost my composure. [22:38] Hyoi     It's just that you kept insisting so     shamelessly that you're only friends... [22:46] Kazuma     This isn't much, but here... [22:50] Hyoi     Dear, I believe Kazuma-san     meant to give this to me. [22:55] Yuiyui     Oh, really? After all that bluster just now, [22:57] Yuiyui     you're being polite enough     to call him Kazuma-san? [23:01] Yuiyui     You really shouldn't. It's embarrassing. [23:04] Yuiyui     This is going to be our dinner tonight. [23:06] Yuiyui     I'm not going to let you     snack on it with your booze. [23:09] Kazuma     Ma'am, those are just dumplings... [23:11] Kazuma     They don't make much of     a snack, let alone a meal. [23:14] Komekko     Hey, is this the kind of food     that actually fills you up, [23:16] Komekko     instead of the watery rice     porridge we usually eat?! [23:22] Kazuma     It really isn't much, but here... [23:26] Hyoi     We're so glad to have you, Kazuma-san! [23:28] Hyoi     Dear, bring out some of the good tea! [23:30] Yuiyui     We only have one type of tea, honey. [23:33] Yuiyui     KONOSUBA! [23:37] Hyoi     I don't care what you feed us!     You can't have Komekko! [23:40] Kazuma     I don't want her!     That's not what I'm trying to do! [23:43] Kazuma     Komekko, you can have the rest. [23:45] Komekko     I can?! Yay! [23:48] Yuiyui     You seem nice enough, so I won't object... [23:51] Yuiyui     But I really think you should pay off     your debts before taking in our daughter. [23:57] Kazuma     I just told you that we're only friends! [23:59] Yuiyui     But in her letters... [24:01] Kazuma     Can I ask you what she wrote, exactly? [24:09] Yuiyui     Well, for starters... [24:11] Yuiyui     You left her covered in a sticky     fluid and made sport of her. [24:14] Yuiyui     When she depleted her magic power, [24:15] Yuiyui     you carried her on your back while     pressing her chest against you. [24:18] Yuiyui     You bathed together. [24:20] Yuiyui     As she napped innocently on the sofa, [24:22] Yuiyui     you stared up her skirt while sitting     across from her and holding your knees. [24:26] Yuiyui     You feed Chomusuke and say, [24:27] Yuiyui     "This is what I want. Bring me more of this!     Then I'll feed you even more!" [24:31] Yuiyui     while showing her some underwear... [24:33] Kazuma     I am so sorry! [24:38] Hyoi     But in spite of it all, she says     you're an important friend... [24:44] Hyoi     And that even if you're a debt-ridden, [24:46] Hyoi     perverted foul-mouth     without a lick of sense, [24:48] Hyoi     you'd die without her, so she'll stay with you. [24:52] Hyoi     Considering she said all that, I'm sure     there's more to you than it seems. [24:57] Kazuma     There are parts of that I'd argue against, [25:00] Kazuma     but being called an important     friend does make me kind of happy. [25:04] Yuiyui     Since you're in the same party as her, [25:06] Yuiyui     we'd love to help you out... [25:09] Kazuma     No, it's all right! I'm on the verge     of making a fair bit of money. [25:12] Hyoi     Oh? Exactly how much are we talking? [25:15] Kazuma     I think it was 300 million eris. [25:17] Both     300 million?! [25:19] Kazuma     Huh? Should I have not said that? [25:22] Hyoi     I've got a great idea, Kazuma-san!     You should spend the night here! [25:25] Hyoi     As my daughter's comrade     and friend, it's only natural! [25:27] Hyoi     I mean, as an adventurer, you don't     have a home of your own, right?! [25:30] Kazuma     N-No, I actually have a mansion in Axel... [25:34] Both     Mansion?! [25:43] Kazuma     The second I brought up the     mansion and the 300 million, [25:45] Kazuma     the reception got a lot warmer... [25:48] Kazuma     But this place seems pretty safe, [25:51] Kazuma     so once Megumin's rested up,     we should get out of here [25:54] Kazuma     before we get caught up in any trouble. [26:06] Darkness     How can you suggest such a thing?! [26:08] Darkness     Don't you care what happens     to your daughter?! [26:10] Yuiyui     It's perfectly fine.     She's old enough to get married, [26:14] Yuiyui     and Kazuma-san is an adult     with good judgment. [26:16] Yuiyui     Even if something were to happen... [26:18] Darkness     What are you— [26:19] Yuiyui     Sleep. [26:22] Kazuma     She actually did it! [26:26] Kazuma     Is this... [26:28] Yuiyui     Oh, Kazuma-san. All done with the bath? [26:31] Yuiyui     Everyone's already asleep, [26:33] Yuiyui     so would you help me move     them into their rooms? [26:41] Yuiyui     Well, enjoy yourselves! [26:52] Kazuma     This is no time to be enchanted! [26:54] Kazuma     I think those orcs might     have traumatized me... [26:57] Kazuma     I'm gonna need some emotional care from     those nice succubi when I get back to Axel. [27:02] Yuiyui     Lock. [27:07] Kazuma     I know I slipped up by talking     about the money that was coming in, [27:11] Kazuma     but this lady is pretty intense... [27:14] Kazuma     Hang on a sec. [27:19] Kazuma     Aqua got hammered and fell asleep, [27:21] Kazuma     and Hyoizaburo-san and Darkness     were both put to sleep by her mom! [27:24] Kazuma     The door's been locked     from outside with magic! [27:26] Kazuma     No one can get in here, and I can't get out! [27:28] Kazuma     What a setup! [27:31] Kazuma     There's only one futon. It's spring,     but nights are still cold. [27:33] Kazuma     If I sleep without any cover,     I might get sick. [27:36] Kazuma     And what if it develops into pneumonia? [27:40] Kazuma     Given these factors, there should be no     problem with me sleeping next to Megumin. [27:44] Kazuma     But if I made a move on her while     she was sleeping so peacefully, [27:48] Kazuma     that'd rob me of any pretense     that I could use to deny [27:50] Kazuma     when Darkness or Aqua call     me a creep or a scumbag! [27:53] Kazuma     I'm a gentlemen! That's not like me! [27:56] Kazuma     However, her parents have     signed off on this situation. [27:59] Kazuma     I bet if Megumin sued me, I could win! [28:02] Kazuma     Wait, could I? [28:04] Kazuma     Damn it! I should have     studied up more on law! [28:07] Kazuma     If I had known this would happen, I would've! [28:12] Kazuma     Wait, that's not it! [28:14] Kazuma     What am I, stupid?! [28:15] Kazuma     This isn't about getting sued!     My entire perspective is off-base! [28:18] Kazuma     No good. I think the situation     has me all mixed up. [28:21] Kazuma     Calm down! Settle yourself, Satou Kazuma! [28:23] Kazuma     Let's calm down and think this through. [28:25] Kazuma     Spring or not, it's cold at night.     Too cold to think straight. [28:28] Kazuma     First, let's crawl into     the futon and calm down! [28:38] Kazuma     Wait, no! What a devious trap I've fallen for! [28:41] Kazuma     Without realizing it, I've ended     up sleeping next to Megumin! [28:44] Kazuma     Let's say I panic and jump out of the futon. [28:46] Kazuma     Wouldn't that be the exact     moment that she'd wake up?! [28:49] Kazuma     Exactly! The kind of situation where     I get punished no matter what I do! [28:53] Kazuma     If that happens, even if I say, "I didn't do     anything!" or "It was your parents' idea!" [28:56] Kazuma     I could have the best excuses in     the world, and no one would care! [28:59] Kazuma     Oh, bitter injustice! [29:01] Kazuma     It's a false accusation, that's what it is. [29:03] Kazuma     And if that's going to be how things     turn out, no matter what I do... [29:10] Kazuma     I may as well turn it around and remove     the "false" part of the equation. [29:15] Kazuma     You can't put me in the same futon as a     beautiful girl and expect nothing to happen. [29:21] Kazuma     More than anything, this situation     was cooked up by Megumin's mother. [29:24] Kazuma     It's fine! I can win! [29:26] Kazuma     In this kind of situation, I bet I could     even beat Sena in a court of law! [29:38] Kazuma     Good morning. [29:41] Megumin     Oh... good morning. [29:44] Megumin     Uh, how long was I asleep? [29:48] Kazuma     About eight hours? [29:51] Megumin     I see... [29:55] Megumin     And... why am I sleeping     in the same futon as you? [30:00] Kazuma     C'mon, don't make me spell it out. [30:01] Megumin     Spell what out?! [30:04] Kazuma     Hey, don't flip the cover up. It's cold. [30:07] Megumin     I just woke up in my old room next     to you, Kazuma! What happened?! [30:11] Kazuma     Come on, you really think     I'd try to pull something? [30:15] Kazuma     I haven't up until now, have I? [30:18] Megumin     That's a good point. Sorry. [30:20] Megumin     I think I was a bit confused,     since I just woke up... [30:25] Megumin     You're not the kind of person who would     take advantage of a situation like this. [30:29] Kazuma     Of course not! [30:31] Kazuma     I'll have you know your mom locked     the door and trapped me in here! [30:35] Megumin     She did?! Honestly... [30:37] Kazuma     That being the case, saddle up! [30:39] Kazuma     It's cold, so into the futon with you! [30:41] Kazuma     It's fine! I won't do! A thing! [30:44] Megumin     You won't? [30:46] Megumin     You really won't do... anything? [30:49] Megumin     Even though we're all alone... [30:52] Kazuma     Say what? [30:53] Kazuma     I-Is she saying I should try something?     Is this really my popular phase?! [30:58] Kazuma     Fool! I'm obviously gonna try     something if we're all alone! [31:02] Kazuma     I've even got your parents' approval! [31:05] Megumin     You idiot! I suspected as much! [31:08] Megumin     I'm going to spend the     night at Yunyun's house! [31:10] Kazuma     Damn you! You tricked me! [31:13] Megumin     Death to perverts! [31:15] Megumin     Die, die, die, die, die! [31:21] Aqua     Megumin, Megumin! [31:23] Aqua     Could you show us the sights around here? [31:25] Megumin     That's a good idea. [31:27] Megumin     Why don't we have a nice, leisurely day,      and then stay one more night? [31:30] Aqua     Yay! [31:32] Aqua     I'm going to have Megumin show me around. [31:34] Aqua     What are you going to do, Kreeperma-san? [31:36] Kazuma     Good question. Maybe I'll join... [31:38] Kazuma     Wait. What did you just call me? [31:41] Aqua     Did I say something strange? [31:43] Kazuma     No... Maybe I imagined it? [31:47] Kazuma     Well, whatever. What about you, Darkness? [31:49] Darkness     There's a place I'd like to visit. [31:52] Darkness     You and the others should enjoy     your sightseeing, Kazutrash. [31:55] Kazuma     Okay, sounds— Wait, what did you just say? [31:58] Megumin     So I'll be showing Aqua     and Kursedma around, then? [32:01] Megumin     There are lots of things to see in town— [32:02] Kazuma     Hang on a second! [32:04] Aqua     Is something wrong, Kazuma-san-who-tried-to-     mess-with-Megumin-while-she-was-sleeping? [32:15] Kazuma     I'm sorry. [32:47] Megumin     This is the mysterious facility where the     Crimson Demons' natural enemy is sealed away. [32:51] Kazuma     What do you mean, mysterious facility? [32:53] Megumin     Just what I said. It's a mysterious facility. [32:55] Megumin     No one knows what else is inside,     who built it, or for what reason. [33:01] Aqua     Hey, Megumin. [33:02] Aqua     Are there any other places with     cool things hidden inside? [33:05] Megumin     Well, there was a tomb where     an evil god was sealed away, [33:08] Megumin     and a piece of land where a     nameless goddess was sealed away, [33:11] Megumin     but eventually, they ended up being released. [33:14] Kazuma     Are you guys bad at keeping     things sealed or what?! [33:19] Cheekera     Well, if it isn't Megumin!     You're back in town? [33:23] Cheekera     Are these folks from out of town? [33:29] Kazuma     Does he have... problems with outsiders? [33:36] Cheekera     I am called Cheekera! Arch wizard     and wielder of advanced magic! [33:41] Cheekera     And owner of the foremost clothing     store among the Crimson Demons! [33:46] Cheekera     Welcome, folks! It's been a while     since I've had outsiders in the shop. [33:51] Kazuma     Having the foremost store     is pretty impressive! [33:53] Cheekera     Well, this is also the only     clothing store in the village. [33:57] Kazuma     Are you mocking us?! [33:59] Megumin     I was actually hoping to     replace my current robe. [34:02] Megumin     Do you have another just like this? [34:07] Cheekera     All of them? [34:09] Cheekera     Wow, our little Megumin's gone all bourgeois! [34:12] Megumin     I'm honestly surprised the village     hasn't heard of my exploits yet! [34:17] Megumin     And since the robes are     what I wear into action, [34:19] Megumin     it can't hurt to have a few     more in my wardrobe. [34:21] Megumin     That being said, future millionaire     Kazuma, lend me some money. [34:26] Kazuma     You... [34:27] Kazuma     I mean, fine, but... [34:28] Cheekera     Thank you very much! [34:37] Kazuma     Hey... [34:39] Megumin     What is it? [34:40] Kazuma     Isn't this... [34:42] Kazuma     I mean, what the hell?      You're hanging clothes from that? [34:46] Cheekera     Oh, sir, do you recognize it? [34:49] Cheekera     This is the clothes-drying pole that's been     passed down through my family for ages. [34:54] Cheekera     It never rusts, so it's super handy. [34:58] Aqua     That's pretty clearly a rifle. [35:01] Kazuma     That's what I thought. [35:03] Kazuma     What is up with this village? [35:11] Megumin     Kazuma! Aqua! [35:12] Megumin     Now that you know the charms     of the Crimson Demon Village, [35:14] Megumin     allow me to show you even finer splendor! [35:21] Megumin     Welcome... [35:23] Megumin     to our magic academy, the Red Prison! [35:26] Yunyun     W-Welcome... [35:28] Kazuma     What're you doing here, Yunyun? [35:30] Megumin     When I stayed over at her house last night,     the friendless wonder seemed lonely, [35:33] Megumin     so I invited her to come along. [35:35] Yunyun     I-I-I never said I was lonely! [35:37] Megumin     You even dug out your old uniform.      Why try and hide it? [35:43] Aqua     So this is your uniform? It's cute! [35:46] Megumin     Isn't it, though?! [35:48] Megumin     It's only natural that I get changed [35:50] Megumin     to show you around our     distinguished magical academy! [35:53] Kazuma     I bet you just wanted to wear it     because you felt nostalgic. [35:56] Aqua     Kazuma always gets prickly when     the subject of school comes up. [35:59] Aqua     He's probably still bitter     about not fitting in. [36:02] Kazuma     Hey, cut it out! That's a     confidentiality violation! [36:08] Arue     I am called Arue... [36:10] Arue     The most voluptuous among the     Crimson Demons, and a future author! [36:15] Funifura     I am called Funifura! [36:18] Funifura     The foremost among Crimson Demons     who love their brothers, [36:20] Funifura     known for her brother complex! [36:22] Dodonko     I am called Dodonko! [36:24] Dodonko     Foremost among the Crimson Demons at... [36:27] Dodonko     At... what was it again? [36:31] Kazuma     You've got a brother complex, huh? [36:32] Dodonko     I-I just don't have a cool nickname yet! [36:37] Megumin     Arue... Dodonko, Funikura. [36:40] Funifura     It's Funifura! You did that on purpose!     You totally did, didn't you?! [36:44] Funifura     We heard you were back in town. [36:47] Aqua     Who're they? [36:48] Megumin     Classmates from when we     attended the magic academy. [36:51] Arue     Welcome home. I'm glad to     see you made it back safely. [36:54] Megumin     People might believe the things you write, [36:56] Megumin     so please don't send "letters"     like that anymore. [36:58] Dodonko     And you people are the members      of Yunyun's party? [37:02] Funifura     I'm surprised you actually exist! [37:04] Funifura     Yunyun's party, I mean. [37:06] Yunyun     L-Let me introduce you! [37:08] Yunyun     Th-This guy is a rookie adventurer, [37:11] Yunyun     and the girl is an arch priest! [37:13] Yunyun     There's also a very durable lady     who's not with us at the moment! [37:17] Yunyun     And Megumin was sad on her own, [37:19] Yunyun     so we recently invited her to join us! [37:23] Arue     That sounds like a lovely party. [37:25] Aqua     Yunyun's not actually a member of     the party, but she helps us out a lot, [37:29] Aqua     despite not being a member! [37:30] Yunyun     Uh... [37:31] Megumin     Yes, in spite of her not being a member. [37:34] Both     We figured. [37:35] Aqua     I've given Yunyun the nickname     "frog slayer" in my heart. [37:39] Kazuma     What are you talking about? [37:41] (Flashback) Yunyun     Light of Saber! [37:44] Aqua     Come on, remember how she     took out those Giant Toads [37:46] Aqua     with that sparkly sword-like spell? [37:50] Dodonko     Isn't that... [37:52] Arue     That's an actual advanced spell. [37:55] Funifura     Yunyun, I thought you could     only do intermediate magic! [38:00] Funifura     She picked it up at an awkward time, [38:04] Funifura     so she wasn't able to learn     advanced magic before graduation. [38:07] Yunyun     C-Come on, it's not like I needed to know it. [38:18] Aqua     What's wrong, Kazuma? Are you still torn     up about not having friends in school? [38:22] Kazuma     That's not it! [38:24] Kazuma     I was just wondering about Yunyun. [38:27] Megumin     You mean what they said earlier? [38:29] Kazuma     I thought Crimson Demons were a bunch of     OP weirdos who all used advanced magic. [38:37] Megumin     Well... [38:40] Megumin     When I was a student, in order     to learn Explosion magic, [38:44] Megumin     I was storing up my skill points. [38:47] Megumin     I endured it day after day, [38:49] Megumin     to make sure I could someday     learn Explosion magic. [38:54] Megumin     But one day... [38:56] (Flashback) Kokemkko     Give me my food back! [38:59] (Flashback) Megumin     Komekko! [39:07] Megumin     To save Komekko when she     was attacked by monsters, [39:09] Megumin     Yunyun used her own points in     order to learn intermediate magic, [39:14] Megumin     while I was hesitating... [39:19] Kazuma     You mean she covered for you     so you could learn Explosion magic? [39:27] Megumin     Not that I asked her to, but yes. [39:31] Aqua     Well, she's a more established     mage than you are now, [39:35] Aqua     so it worked out all right! [39:36] Kazuma     True enough. [39:37] Megumin     How dare you?! SIGN    The Devil King's forces have appeared!! SIGN    Emergency Quest [39:45] Sylvia     What is it with this woman?!     What is she trying to do?! [39:48] Goblin S1     Lady Sylvia! There's no telling     what she's after! Please, stand back! [39:53] Boglin     She's a real freak! Her attacks are     worthless, but she's sturdy as they come! [39:57] Darkness     As long as there is light in my eyes,      you will not pass! [40:01] Kazuma     Darkness! Good job hanging in there! [40:03] Kazuma     We brought help from the village! [40:05] Darkness     K-Kazuma? You're already here? [40:08] Darkness     I was sad that only female orcs are left,     so I came here to see what I could find, [40:11] Darkness     and even the Devil King's general is a woman! [40:14] Darkness     What is wrong with this journey?! [40:16] Kazuma     Could you shut up for a second?! [40:17] Kazuma     You're ruining that impressive performance! [40:20] Sylvia     I see. Buying time until     your allies arrived, then? [40:24] Sylvia     From the way you endured those attacks,     you must be a fairly high-level crusader. [40:30] Sylvia     Was not being able to land     any attacks part of your act? [40:33] Darkness     I-I suppose there's no point     in maintaining the facade... [40:37] Darkness     Glance... [40:39] Kazuma     Look, you're Sylvia, right? [40:41] Kazuma     That crusader is an accomplished warrior     who fought the Devil King's general, Vanir! [40:45] Sylvia     Vanir?! [40:47] Sylvia     I heard he never returned     from the town of Axel... [40:50] Sylvia     Was that because of you people? [40:52] Kazuma     Yeah! Megumin here finished him off. [40:55] Goblin     Vanir-sama is dead?! [40:57] Crimson Demons     That's awesome! [40:59] Kazuma     And that's not all! [41:00] Kazuma     The Dullahan, Verdia,     and Hans the Deadly Poison... [41:03] Kazuma     And even the mobile fortress, Destroyer. [41:07] Kazuma     The four of us took them all down. [41:09] Sylvia     Verdia and Hans, too?! [41:12] Sylvia     But when I think about how     we lost contact with Hans [41:15] Sylvia     after he infiltrated Arcanretia,     it seems plausible. [41:18] Sylvia     I take it you're the leader?     Why don't you tell me your name? [41:24] Kazuma     M-My name? [41:27] Kazuma     It's Mitsurugi. [41:30] Kazuma     Mitsurugi Kyouya. Remember it. [41:33] Megumin     Someone just chickened out. [41:36] Aqua     He must've been feeling cocky with all     these Crimson Demons backing him up. [41:40] Sylvia     So you're Mitsurugi of the Cursed Sword... [41:43] Sylvia     I didn't expect to encounter     such a powerful party. [41:47] Kazuma     Taking you down right here with      the Crimson Demons' help [41:50] Kazuma     wouldn't be much of an accomplishment. [41:52] Sylvia     I appreciate that, Mitsurugi. [41:55] Sylvia     Let's meet again. When we do,     we'll see who comes out on top. [41:58] Sylvia     Retreat! [42:01] Bukkorori     Don't let them escape! Lightning Strike! [42:03] CD N     Light of Saber! [42:05] CD C     Time to test my magic on you all! [42:12] Kazuma     I should buy Mitsurugi some     bubbly next time I see him. [42:38] Kazuma     Good morning. [42:39] Kazuma     Did you get a good night's rest? [42:42] Kazuma     Good... morn...ing. [42:45] Megumin     Did you finally cross the line?! [42:48] Megumin     You beast! Kazuma, you beast! [42:50] Kazuma     Dummy. [42:52] Kazuma     I was just holding your     hand because it's cold. [42:54] Megumin     R-Really? [42:58] Megumin     I suppose I got the wrong idea. [43:01] Megumin     I'm sorry. [43:02] Kazuma     H-Hey, it's fine. [43:06] Kazuma     But it's about time you     did seriously thank me. [43:10] Kazuma     I'm always cleaning up     after you guys, after all. [43:14] Megumin     Thanking you? [43:17] Megumin     You've got a point. [43:22] Megumin     Back then, you accepted an aimless wizard [43:26] Megumin     who could only cast     Explosion magic. Thank you. [43:30] Megumin     You always carry me home on your back [43:32] Megumin     when I can't move after     casting it. Thank you. [43:36] Megumin     I always cause so much trouble, [43:38] Megumin     but you keep me in the party. Thank you. [43:44] Megumin     I was just thanking you. [43:46] Megumin     Why are you embarrassed when     you're the one who demanded it? [43:50] Kazuma     O-Oh... [43:51] Kazuma     Well, in spite of it all,     you guys do help out a lot. [43:57] Kazuma     To put it in your terms... [43:59] Kazuma     I am called Satou Kazuma! [44:01] Kazuma     Axel's weakest adventurer,      and foremost at getting into trouble! [44:07] Kazuma     He who will obtain the wealth to spend     his days having fun with the rest of you! [44:14] Kazuma     And I'm looking forward to it. [44:19] Megumin     So am I. Here's to a bright future. [44:24] Megumin     I-It really is cold today. [44:27] Megumin     As if we're trapped... in... ice... [44:33] Megumin     Kazuma, care to explain what this is? [44:36] Kazuma     I think maybe there was a freak blizzard [44:38] Kazuma     that froze the window     shut before blowing away. [44:41] Megumin     Let me out! Let me out, please! [44:44] Megumin     Open! Open! Open up, now! [44:46] Megumin     Mom! Kazuma froze the window shut! [44:49] Kazuma     Look, I'm sorry, and I'm     not gonna do anything! [44:52] Kazuma     It's cold, so let's go to bed. [44:53] Megumin     I want my gratitude back! [44:56] Kazuma     Look, I'm sorry. My bad. [45:05] Megumin     I'm really regretting all     those nice things I said. [45:09] Kazuma     And after she was the one who held my hand. [45:12] Kazuma     Feels like we're an old couple in a cold stretch. [45:15] Kazuma     Freeze... [45:17] Megumin     Did you just use ice magic again?! [45:19] Megumin     Do you want me to cling to you that badly?! [45:25] Kazuma     H-Hey! If you start clinging     to me like that... [45:30] Megumin     I can see why Darkness says that [45:32] Megumin     every time you've had a chance     to do something with her, [45:34] Megumin     you laugh it off and never do anything. [45:37] Megumin     You really are a wimp. [45:39] Kazuma     Huh? [45:41] Kazuma     Is this... Does Megumin... [45:43] Kazuma     Is she open to the idea?! [45:46] Kazuma     This really is my popular phase! [45:49] Annoucnement     The Devil King Army is attacking!     The Devil King Army is attacking! [45:51] Annoucnement     They've already breached the village! [45:54] Kazuma     Yeah, that's what I figured. [46:04] Kazuma     How dare you interrupt just     when it was getting good?! [46:05] Kazuma     What the hell, man?! [46:06] Kazuma     You ever think about the trouble     you cause other people, dumbass?! [46:09] Kazuma     You want an ass whooping?! [46:11] Sylvia     I'm sorry! [46:13] Sylvia     Wait, no! [46:14] Sylvia     I didn't think I'd run into you out here. [46:19] Sylvia     Oh, dear! [46:20] Sylvia     Did I interrupt something? [46:23] Megumin     No! [46:23] Kazuma     Hell yeah, you did! [46:24] Aqua     Do you know how late it is?     Could you quiet down? [46:27] Kazuma     Aqua! One of the Devil King's     generals is out here! [46:29] Kazuma     Get Megumin's parents! [46:31] Aqua     Okay! [46:32] Kazuma     You better not expect any     mercy just because you're hot! [46:35] Kazuma     In the name of true gender equality, [46:36] Kazuma     I will dropkick any rotten     woman who deserves it! [46:43] Sylvia     Are you actually the famous Mitsurugi? [46:46] Sylvia     You mean to tell me this little     thing is the Cursed Sword Gram? [46:49] Megumin     It's Chunchunmaru. [46:52] Megumin     I said that sword's name is Chunchunmaru. [46:54] Megumin     Please don't compare it to some cursed     sword nobody's heard of, like Gram! [47:04] Sylvia     You're not Mitsurugi, are you? [47:06] Kazuma     My name is Satou Kazuma! [47:08] Kazuma     I thought if you people knew my name,      you'd put a bounty on my head or something! [47:13] Sylvia     I think I like you! [47:15] Aqua     Kazuma! [47:16] Darkness     You! The people of this house have left     to gather the other Crimson Demons! [47:20] Darkness     Surrender now! [47:25] Sylvia     Settle down, now. [47:27] Kazuma     Thank you very— [47:29] Kazuma     Wait, no, that's wrong! This is a trap. [47:30] Kazuma     I shouldn't be happy just because     sh'es exposing skin, busty, [47:32] Kazuma     and a statuesque beauty in spite of     her huge frame thank you very much*! [47:36] Megumin     I'll get you out of there, Kazuma! [47:37] Darkness     You'll blow Kazuma away, too,     if you use Explosion magic! [47:40] Sylvia     I'm taking him as a hostage. [47:43] Darkness     Wait! If you need a hostage, take me! [47:46] Sylvia     You're a naughty one, aren't you? [47:48] Kazuma     What has been up with me lately? [47:51] Kazuma     It starts with Yunyun saying*     she wants to have my baby, [47:54] Kazuma     then the orcs, Megumin, and now Sylvia... [47:56] Kazuma     Even if the orcs weren't really a positive. [47:58] Kazuma     But this is the kind of luck where     I'd expect some kind of backlash. [48:00] Kazuma     Have I actually entered a popular phase? [48:02] Kazuma     Or has my high luck stat, my only     saving grace, kicked into overdrive? [48:07] Sylvia     Now, sweetie, stop breathing so heavily... [48:11] Sylvia     You're heating me up. [48:13] Aqua     Sacred Exorcism! [48:18] Sylvia     A sneak attack... [48:20] Sylvia     But I've got bad news. [48:21] Sylvia     I'm not a pure demon,     so it's not going to kill me. [48:26] Sylvia     I am called Sylvia! [48:28] Sylvia     I am the chief of the Enhanced     Monster Development Bureau, [48:30] Sylvia     she who has synthesized     and modified her own body! [48:34] Sylvia     Yes, Sylvia, the Growth Chimera! [48:38] Sylvia     And I'm taking this boy with me! [48:40] Sylvia     Let's become one again. [48:43] Megumin     Kazuma! [48:53] Megumin     Did... Did he just let himself be taken? [48:56] Kazuma     Of course not. [48:57] Kazuma     This is strange. It's such a perfect fit,     and I feel so safe. [49:00] Kazuma     Like I've finally found the sanctuary     I've been searching for. [49:04] Darkness     Hold on, Kazuma! I'll get you out of there! [49:06] Kazuma     I'd rather you didn't. [49:09] Kazuma     I said I'd rather you didn't. [49:11] Kazuma     You guys have been kind of taking     me for granted lately, haven't you? [49:15] Kazuma     See, Sylvia-san here...     She actually appreciates me. [49:19] Kazuma     It's enough to make me...     defect to the Devil King's army. [49:23] Kazuma     So apologize! [49:24] Kazuma     It's about time I got an apology,     since I always try so hard for you all! [49:27] Darkness     E-Enough with the jokes, Kazuma... [49:30] Darkness     There's a time and place for these things. [49:32] Darkness     T-True enough, you have     accomplished some great feats. [49:36] Darkness     When we get back to Axel, I'll talk to     my father about giving you a medal... [49:39] Kazuma     I want sincerity! [49:40] Kazuma     Stop trying to buy me off with stuff!      I want genuine contrition! [49:43] Kazuma     Just look at what's happening here. [49:45] Kazuma     Miss Sylvia of the Devil King's army is     giving me the billowy pillowy treatment! [49:49] Kazuma     Darkness! What is your greatest strength?     Tell me! Go on, spit it out! [49:54] Darkness     M-My defensive strength? [49:56] Kazuma     Obviously not! [49:58] Kazuma     Your only strength is your     needlessy seductive body [50:00] Kazuma     that brings men to their knees! [50:02] Kazuma     How can you be so oblivious?! [50:04] Darkness     I-I don't seduce anybody! [50:06] Kazuma     You clearly do! [50:08] Kazuma     Your body is luscious,     and for no good reason! [50:09] Kazuma     What you don't realize is that my high     luck stat is at its apex tonight! [50:13] Kazuma     I've never been a bigger hit with the chicks! [50:15] Kazuma     Now apologize! [50:17] Kazuma     Give me a proper apology so I     don't waltz off with Sylvia-san, [50:20] Kazuma     thanks to my awesome popular phase! [50:22] Sylvai     You are just delightful. [50:24] Sylvai     But don't be too harsh on the ladies, okay? [50:27] Sylvai     I need to teach you how to     understand women a bit better. [50:32] Darkness     As if a demonic beast could     understand how human women feel... [50:36] Sylvia     Well, of course I can understand     how they feel. Men and women. [50:42] Kazuma     Just what I'd expect from a demonic beauty. [50:44] Kazuma     She's got bewitching charisma that     lets her understand men and women! [50:49] Sylvia     After all, I'm partially a man myself. [50:56] Kazuma     Say that again? [50:57] Sylvia     Oh, you didn't hear me?     I'm a chimera, after all. [51:01] Sylvia     Even these boobs you're so fond of     were something I added to my body. [51:05] Megumin     K-Kazuma... s-stay calm... [51:09] Megumin     I-It's fine! Don't panic! Don't panic. [51:13] Sylvia     You really are a fine man, though. [51:16] Sylvia     Just holding you like this has my breasts     and lower body feeling all tingly! [51:20] Kazuma     Sylvia-san! Sylvia-san! [51:22] Kazuma     Why do I feel something     pressing into my butt? [51:27] Sylvia     Because something is! [51:29] Sylvia     Something is! Something is! Something is! [51:34] Kazuma     No! SIGN    Quest Failed SIGN    Orc (♀) SIGN    Kazuma was psychologically scarred SIGN    Kazuma was psychologically scarred SIGN    Sylvia (♂) [51:42] Kazuma     Cut it out! Get your dick     off of me! You wanna die?! [51:45] Sylvia     Settle down! [51:46] Sylvia     You don't have to worry.      I'm not going to try anything. [51:50] Sylvia     I managed to shake the others off     my tail, so you're free to go. [51:56] Kazuma     Where are we? [51:57] Sylvia     This is the Crimson Demon Village's     underground storage facility. [52:00] Sylvia     My objective is to find the ancient     magic weapon that's hidden here. [52:05] Kazuma     A magic weapon? [52:08] Sylvia     The Mage Killer. [52:12] Sylvia     It can neutralize any magic... [52:14] Sylvia     A perfect counter to the Crimson Demons. [52:18] Kazuma     Something like that is down here? [52:19] Sylvia     I've finally gotten this close. [52:23] Sylvia     The barrier breaker isn't working? [52:25] Sylvia     What exactly is this?     It's not sealed with magic? [52:29] Kazuma     Are those... controller inputs? [52:31] Sylvia     You can read that ancient text?! [52:33] Kazuma     Nah, I think they just used a famous     cheat code as the password for the— [52:38] Sylvia     You're even better than I'd hoped. [52:41] Kazuma     I'm still an adventurer, y'know! [52:43] Kazuma     Don't expect me to give in that easily! [52:46] Sylvia     There's more to getting someone to talk     than threats and violence, you know. [52:51] Sylvia     You'll find my technique     is on par with a succubus. [52:53] Sylvia     I wonder how much ecstasy you'll be able to— [52:55] Kazuma     Up, up, down, down, left, right,     left, right! There you go! [53:04] Sylvia     Do the things you do not bother you? [53:08] Sylvia     Not that it matters. Now the weapon is mine. [53:11] Kazuma     Crap. [53:13] Kazuma     I got so anxious, I put the password in. [53:16] Kazuma     Still... [53:18] Sylvia     It's so dark. I can't see a thing. [53:22] Kazuma     I think she might be taking me too lightly     just because I don't have a weapon. [53:27] Sylvia     Hey, do you have anything     I can use for light? [53:33] Sylvia     Hey! What do you think you're— [53:34] Kazuma     Up, up, down, down, left, right,     left, right, and away you go! [53:37] Sylvia     Hey, you, stop that! Hold it right there! [53:39] Sylvia     Wait, damn it! [53:41] Kazuma     KONOSUBA... [53:43] Megumin     Kazuma! Are you all right? [53:44] Darkness     Where's Sylvia? [53:46] Kazuma     I managed to trap Sylvia in here     with a bit of skillful deceit. SIGN    Hey, damn it! SIGN    Open this door right now!     You hear me?! [53:51] Kazuma     If we leave her in there for a month     or so, she's bound to quiet down. SIGN    (Heavy breathing) SIGN    Ah! <3 [53:55] Darkness     A Devil King general...     killed by starvation? SIGN    It hurts! SIGN    Ow, ow, ow! SIGN    Oh! [53:58] Bukkorori     Well done, outsider! SIGN    My breasts! SIGN    I think my boobies     are stuck in the door! [53:59] Bukkorori     You managed to capture Sylvia,     after she evaded us every time! SIGN    Ah! SIGN    I can't move! SIGN    Come on, Satou Kazuma. [54:05] Aqua     Isn't there some kind of scary     weapon sealed in this place? SIGN    Won't you please open the door? [54:09] Bukkorori     Even we couldn't figure out     how to use it. It'll be fine. SIGN    Hahh! Hahh! SIGN    Aw, come on! SIGN    Say something, damn it! [54:12] Soketto     If Sylvia is able to activate the weapon, SIGN    At least respond, you piece of crap! [54:15] Soketto     I'll run a lap around the village     while doing a handstand! SIGN    Because if you're not gonna poke at me, [54:17] Kazuma     Whoa, don't set flags! SIGN    I'm gonna poke you hard, damn it! [54:19] Aqua     Come on, what are you worried about, Kazuma? SIGN    You hear me?! [54:22] Aqua     You defeated one of     the Devil King's generals! SIGN    I am going SIGN    to poke you! [54:24] Aqua     You basically did it by yourself this time, [54:27] Aqua     but since we're a party,     we split the reward, right? [54:30] Aqua     What should I buy when we get back to Axel? [54:34] Kazuma     Why do you do this every damn time?!     We need to get out of here, fast! [54:51] Sylvia     Did you think I was just going     to take the weapon with me? [54:55] Sylvia     This is my power. [54:57] Sylvia     I can assimilate anything into     my body, weapons or otherwise! [55:02] Sylvia     My name is Sylvia! [55:04] Sylvia     Sylvia the Growth Chimera,     who has obtained ultimate power! [55:13] Megumin     K-K-Kazuma, this is bad! [55:15] Megumin     That's the Mage Killer! [55:16] Megumin     Let's run! We need to get out of here, fast! [55:19] Soketto     Abandon the village! It's doomed! [55:25] Sylvia     We've had our ups and downs,      but I have this power because of you. [55:30] Sylvia     So I'll spare you. [55:34] Sylvia     You can stand there and watch as     I wipe this village off the map! [55:56] Crimson Demon M     Hey, look! [55:57] Crimson Demon R     Isn't that the legendary Mage Killer?! [56:00] Sylvia     Time for some well-deserved payback! [56:11] S. Goblin 1     It's Sylvia-sama! [56:13] S. Goblin 2     Sylvia-sama managed to get     a hold of the Mage Killer! [56:16] Goblins     Sylvia! Sylvia! [56:24] Chief     I never thought the seal would be broken... [56:27] Kazuma     Village Chief! [56:29] Chief     Oh, our visitors. [56:30] Chief     It's a shame this happened     while you were here. [56:32] Kazuma     I-It's okay... [56:34] Chief     I'm so sorry. It was me     who let that thing out! [56:38] Arue     The village... is burning. [56:42] Kazuma     I-Is there seriously nothing we can do? [56:45] Arue     The Mage Killer does have... [56:47] Arue     a secret countermeasure. [56:51] Chief     There are ruins with an inscription that     no one has been able to decipher... [56:55] Kazuma     There are?! [56:56] Kazuma     O-Okay, let's head there right now! [57:03] Megumin     What did she hit?! [57:04] Kazuma     That was near your house! [57:06] Megumin     Komekko's there! [57:07] Darkness     Megumin, take Kazuma and     the others to those ruins! [57:11] Darkness     Don't worry. I'll protect your family. [57:15] Darkness     That's a knight's duty, right? [57:19] Megumin     Please, save Komekko. [57:20] Kazuma     Okay, this is do-or-die. Let's go! [57:23] Chief     "Do-or-die," eh? [57:25] Chief     For outsiders, you definitely     understand our culture! [57:29] Arue     Not bad. If anything,     things like this are our style! [57:32] Pucchin     All right, why don't we show her what     we can do to defend the village? [57:38] CDs     Yeah! [57:40] Kazuma     I think this disaster might be the kind     of thing they look forward to... [57:44] Aqua     Hey, sorry to interrupt during the big     speeches, but I don't like any of this. [57:48] Aqua     My job is providing support     from a safe position. [57:53] Kazuma     Stop whining and move! [57:54] Kazunma     You're in this party, too! [57:56] Aqua     No! [57:57] Multi     KONOSUBA! [58:00] Wiz     Here we are, Vanir-san. [58:03] Wiz     I'm sure the craftsman I know can help you! [58:06] Vanir     That confidence only makes me anxious,     considering it's coming from you. [58:11] Wiz     It'll be fine! [58:12] Wiz     He's very skill— [58:20] Kazuma     This is screwed up. [58:21] Megumin     Kazuma, this way! [58:25] Kazuma     Hey... [58:26] Kazuma     This is Japanese! [58:28] Megumin     Japa... what? [58:31] Kazuma     Uh, don't worry about it. [58:33] Aqua     "I now leave this record     of what has transpired. [58:37] Aqua     One day, the king trampled     into my paradise [58:41] Aqua     demanding a weapon that     could defeat the Devil King." [58:44] (Flashback) Prof     But nothing can be gained from war... [58:49] Prof     I tried to brush it off with that,     but a lady researcher slapped me. [58:53] Prof     I kinda think I already contributed     enough to this country [58:57] Prof     using the cheat ability I got     when I came to this world! [59:00] Prof     I'm all out of ideas! [59:05] Prof     I managed to come up with a weapon     to deal with the Devil King. [59:07] Prof     I say that, but they're just     humans that I modified... [59:11] (Flashback) Crimson Demons     Master, please give us our new names. [59:14] Prof     Master who? [59:15] Prof     Boy, they're really acting the part. [59:17] Prof     Between asking for red eyes and wanting     identifying numbers on each of their bodies... [59:22] Prof     Is everyone in this country a nutcase? [59:25] Prof     I randomly came up with     the name "Crimson Demons," [59:27] Prof     and they absolutely loved it for some reason! [59:30] Megumin     Kazuma, what are you doing?! [59:32] Megumin     Take your hands off my ears! [59:34] Prof     The Crimson Demons found out about the     Mage Killer that I made a prototype of, [59:39] Prof     and they called it "our natural enemy!" [59:42] (Flashback) Crimson Demon     Fight sorcerer technology     with sorcerer technology. [59:44] (Flashback) Crimson Demon     We desire a deterrent to     prevent it from running amok. [59:48] Prof     I honestly don't hate their whole     "pretentious but nerdy" aesthetic. [59:58] Prof     For something I threw together, this     deterrent turned out pretty awesome! [1:00:01] Prof     It's only about as big     as a clothes-drying pole, [1:00:04] Prof     but it's got enough firepower     to wreck the planet! [1:00:07] Prof     I can't think of a better name,     so I'll just call it the Railgun (TBD), for now. [1:00:12] Prof     Baby! [1:00:13] Kazuma     What the hell do you mean, Railgun (TBD)?! [1:00:16] Aqua     I feel like... I should apologize. [1:00:18] Kazuma     Quit sending dumbasses into this world! [1:00:21] Kazuma     Between the Destroyer and the Mage Killer, [1:00:22] Kazuma     do you realize how many times     this guy has screwed up?! [1:00:25] Megumin     What did it say?! [1:00:26] Kazuma     Well, do you?! [1:00:28] Kazuma     They took a dangerous weapon     and used it for laundry! [1:00:30] Kazuma     Is there something wrong     with the Crimson Demons?! [1:00:36] Sylvia     Burn! Burn! [1:00:39] Sylvia     Let this village of lunatics     be reduced to ash! [1:00:45] S. Goblin 1     Sylvia-sama! You look incredible! [1:00:47] Fat Goblin 2     So cool! [1:00:48] S. Goblin 2     Stylish! [1:00:50] Sylvia     You boys... [1:00:52] Sylvia     I'm sorry you had it so rough until now. [1:00:55] Sylvia     I only made it this far because of you all. [1:00:58] Sylvia     Thank you! You're the best     army I could've asked for! [1:01:02] S. Goblin 1     We'll follow you wherever     you lead us, Sylvia-sama! [1:01:02] Army     Sylvia! Sylvia! [1:01:06] Chief     This ends now! [1:01:11] Chief     I am called Hiropon! [1:01:13] Chief     The chief of this village,     and he who leads the Crimson Demons! [1:01:16] Pucchin     I am called Pucchin! The foremost     educator among the Crimson Demons, [1:01:19] Pucchin     and he who will one day be headmaster! [1:01:21] Shikobei     I am called Shikobei! The foremost     fisherman among the Crimson Demons, [1:01:25] Shikobei     and he who will one day catch a kraken! [1:01:27] Chakamiya     I am called Chakamiya!     Owner of the foremost bakery [1:01:30] Chakamiya     among the Crimson Demons,     and master of yeast! [1:01:32] CD G     I am called— [1:01:33] CD H     I am called— [1:01:34] CD I     I am called— [1:01:35] Crimson Demons     Burning Flash! [1:01:39] Goblins     Sylvia-sama! [1:02:05] Pucchin     It seems... [1:02:07] Chief     ...this won't be that easy. [1:02:08] Dodonko     Hey! You didn't even get rid of the goblins! [1:02:12] Sylvia     This magic weapon is magnificent. [1:02:14] Sylvia     The Crimson Demons will be destroyed     by the very power they've safeguarded! [1:02:22] Sylvia     Now, despair... [1:02:24] Sylvia     Ancient Dispel! [1:02:35] Funifura     That scared me! [1:02:37] Dodonko     What the heck did she do? [1:02:38] Crimson Demon D     Don't stop now! Keep lighting her up! [1:02:41] Funifura     Diabolic flames, run wild! Inferno! [1:02:47] Crimson Demon O     Our magic... [1:02:48] Crimson Demon E     It's not casting! [1:02:49] Pucchin     W-We can't teleport, either! [1:02:52] Chief     This is bad! Run for it! [1:02:54] Chakamiya     We can't take on the Mage Killer after all! [1:02:57] S. Goblin 1     If the Crimson Demons are just a     bunch of oafs without their magic... [1:03:00] S. Goblin 2     We've got them now! [1:03:07] S. Goblin     Get your scrawny butts back here! [1:03:10] Dodonko     Hurry! [1:03:10] Funifura     Hey, slow down! [1:03:15] Dodonko     Funifura! [1:03:21] Sylvia     Whatever's the matter, ladies? [1:03:25] Sylvia     How unlucky for you. If you were     cute boys, I might've spared you... [1:03:29] Sylvia     But your people have made a     mockery of us for too long. [1:03:34] Arue     Oh, no! [1:03:35] Yunyun     Light of Saber! [1:03:53] Yunyun     You've done enough,     Devil King Army General Sylvia! [1:04:00] Crimson Demon G     That's the chief's daughter! [1:04:01] Funifura     Yunyun?! [1:04:02] Dodonko     Idiot! What are you doing?! [1:04:04] Yunyun     I'm can't abandon my friends. [1:04:07] Both     Yunyun... [1:04:13] Yunyun     I am called Yunyun! [1:04:14] Yunyun     Arch wizard, and wielder of advanced magic! [1:04:18] Yunyun     The foremost mage among the Crimson Demons, [1:04:21] Yunyun     and future leader of this village! [1:04:29] Chief     My daughter! [1:04:30] Chief     She used to act so embarrassed     about giving her introduction... [1:04:33] Pucchin     That's my student!      I'm the one who taught her! [1:04:37] CD N     Yunyun! [1:04:38] CD X     You can do it! [1:04:39] CDs     Yunyun! Yunyun! [1:04:41] CDs     Yunyun! [1:04:42] Yunyun     I challenge you to a duel, Sylvia! [1:04:43] Yunyun     If you want to destroy the village,     you'll have to beat me first! [1:04:47] Sylvia     How adorable. [1:04:49] Sylvia     But I actually hate cute     young things like you! [1:04:58] Yunyun     My crimson eyes will overlook no evil! [1:05:02] Both     Yunyun! [1:05:03] Yunyun     That is my crimson fate! [1:05:09] Kazuma     The scope is set! [1:05:11] Komekko     Yay! Yay! [1:05:11] Aqua     Sacred Exorcism! Sacred Exorcism!     Sacred Exorcism! [1:05:11] Kazuma     We made it in time! [1:05:13] Kazuma     Time to put an end to this! [1:05:15] Chekera     Huh, and I thought it was just     a pole for hanging clothes. [1:05:19] Hyoi     So that's my son-in-law... [1:05:21] Kazuma     Sylvia... It's been fun, [1:05:25] Kazuma     but this is goodbye! [1:05:27] Kazuma     Snipe. [1:05:31] Kazuma     What the hell?! It's broken! [1:05:34] Darkness     Here, let me see. [1:05:35] Darkness     With things like this, if you just smack it... [1:05:37] Kazuma     Stop it! [1:05:38] Aqua     Hey, I charged that thing with     plenty of magic power! What gives? [1:05:40] Darkness     I need to hit it! [1:05:42] Kazuma     Shut up! We need to help Yunyun     before she's really in trouble! [1:05:42] Darkness     We need to hit it! [1:05:47] Megumin     And now, the star arrives! [1:05:48] Yunyun     F-Forgive me! Just forget I said anything! [1:05:51] Sylvia     Not happening! [1:05:54] Megumin     I am called Megumin! [1:05:56] Megumin     I am supreme and almighty in my dominion! [1:05:58] Megumin     She who calls down the power     of the very heavens themselves! [1:06:02] Yuiyui     Stop using that joke magic!      You're old enough to know better! [1:06:05] Yunyun     Sorry! I'm so sorry! [1:06:10] Megumin     It comes! It comes! The hordes of flame... [1:06:13] Megumin     Now display your force, by my command! [1:06:18] Megumin     Explosion! [1:06:34] Aqua     Well, as a goddess, [1:06:36] Aqua     I have an obligation to protect     Komekko's young life, [1:06:39] Aqua     so I'm going to run off. [1:06:40] Komekko     Hey, it's glowing now. [1:06:45] Kazuma     It wasn't broken after all! [1:06:47] Kazuma     It just didn't have enough magic power! [1:06:50] Sylvia     Seems like you've got some     kind of scheme in mind. [1:06:52] Kazuma     Sylvia! [1:06:54] Kazuma     Remember my name! [1:06:56] Kazuma     And when you're on the other side,     tell your buddies I said hi! [1:07:00] Kazuma     I am Sa— [1:07:01] Komekko     Boom! [1:07:11] Sylvia     Wha... [1:07:12] Sylvia     A-Am I... done? [1:07:22] Komekko     I am called Komekko! [1:07:24] Komekko     The foremost lovable little sister     among the Crimson Demons! [1:07:27] Komekko     And she who is stronger     than a Devil King general! [1:07:34] Everyone     KONOSUBA. [1:07:42] Sylvia     What happened to me? [1:07:48] Verdia     Hey! Hey! [1:07:52] Verdia     Hey! [1:07:54] Verdia     Come on! Come join us! [1:07:57] Hans     I'm all clean now. [1:08:00] Sylvia     Verdia and Hans?! [1:08:02] Sylvia     No! Is this place— [1:08:07] Verdia     Come on. Come with us, and we can     all hang out like we used to. [1:08:11] Hans     Soap, detergent, soap,     detergent, soap, detergent... [1:08:16] Sylvia     No! I don't want this! [1:08:18] Sylvia     I don't wanna go to the other side! [1:08:23] Verdia     Come... with us... [1:08:37] Aqua     That was a brutal battle. [1:08:39] Aqua     I swear to never hurt another person again. [1:08:43] Kazuma     Seriously, stop saying stuff that sets flags! [1:08:49] Sylvia     Life... [1:08:55] Verdia     Join us... Come with us! [1:09:00] Hans     I'm all clean now... [1:09:04] Sylvia     Life! [1:09:07] Megumin     What is that?! [1:09:08] Aqua     Isn't that the slime we fought before?! [1:09:10] Darkness     And over there... [1:09:13] Darkness     The Dullahan! [1:09:19] Sylvia     I won't let it end like this! [1:09:22] Sylvia     My life has only just begun!     I'm going to continue living! [1:09:30] Kazuma     Crap, crap, crap, crap! [1:09:32] Aqua     Slow down! Kazuma-san, wait for me! [1:09:34] Megumin     Faster! You need to run faster! [1:09:37] Yunyun     Megumin, stop squirming! [1:10:02] Crimson Demons     She revived?! [1:10:04] Kazuma     What the hell is that?! [1:10:07] Sylvia     My soul nearly passed on... [1:10:11] Sylvia     I'm going to crush all of you! [1:10:23] Wiz     Cursed Crystal Prison! [1:10:36] Wiz     K-Kazuma-san, what in the world is going on? [1:10:40] Kazuma     Wiz?! What are you doing here? [1:10:42] Vanir     My boy, who is so gifted in     living a cowardly life... [1:10:46] Vanir     In order to produce your     designs as merchandise, [1:10:48] Vanir     we came to visit a craftsman in     this village, but it seems... [1:10:53] Vanir     You've unleashed a magical weapon     out of fear for your own life? [1:10:56] Kazuma     Wha?! [1:10:57] Vanir     You can't hide the truth from     a demon that reads minds. [1:11:00] Vanir     That said, if the village is destroyed,     our arrangement can't be completed... [1:11:04] Vanir     My, my, what a mess. [1:11:08] Aqua     Hey! I thought you were going to use     your stolen ideas to make us all rich?! [1:11:21] Sylvia     Wiz?! And Vanir?! [1:11:24] Wiz     Hello again, Sylvia-san. [1:11:26] Wiz     Can I convince you to take     a diplomatic approach here? [1:11:28] Sylvia     Hell no! [1:11:31] Vanir     The Devil King's forces learning of my     survival would be more trouble than I'd like... [1:11:36] Trio     You damned traitors! [1:11:44] Aqua     I don't understand what just happened,     other than you screwed up again, Kazuma! [1:11:47] Aqua     Well, I'm not going back     to sleeping in stables! [1:11:50] Aqua     After the taste of luxury I've had,     I can't go back to living where I work! [1:12:09] Wiz     Sylvia-san! I can't believe you'd turn     yourself into... that! Seriously! [1:12:13] Sylvia     I'm so sure, Wiz!     Someone like you could never understand [1:12:16] Sylvia     what it's like for those     of us on the front lines! [1:12:19] Sylvia     The way you ditz through life,     nothing ever goes wrong! [1:12:22] Sylvia     It pisses me off! [1:12:25] Megumin     Kazuma, don't you have some kind of plan?! [1:12:28] Megumin     Also, I demand you return my Explosion. [1:12:31] Kazuma     Is now really the time?! [1:12:33] Kazuma     She's fighting Wiz and Vanir     and still has the edge! [1:12:37] Kazuma     Damn it! [1:12:46] Wiz     My magic... [1:12:48] Vanir     It seems physical damage     isn't doing much, either. [1:12:51] Kazuma     How is she so strong?! It's totally unfair! [1:12:54] Kazuma     Damn it! Maybe there's a weakness? Like what?! [1:12:58] Kazuma     Like... like... like... [1:13:00] Kazuma     Like? Like... [1:13:03] Kazuma     Like? Like... My popular phase? [1:13:10] Aqua     Kazuma? [1:13:19] Kazuma     Damn it, fine! [1:13:38] Sylvia     Traitors deserve death. [1:13:59] Kazuma     You okay, Wiz?! [1:14:01] Wiz     Kazuma-san! [1:14:03] Kazuma     The real battle starts now! [1:14:12] Verdia     The pervert knight with the terrible attacks! [1:14:15] Verdia     What's become of her? [1:14:17] Verdia     You! Vanir, the Mind-Reading Demon! [1:14:21] Vanir     We meet again, Verdia the Hero Slayer. [1:14:24] Guy E     What's going on?     What are they planning to do? [1:14:27] Crimson Demon     Hey, look! [1:14:32] Funifura     Megumin?! [1:14:33] Dodonko     Yunyun?! [1:14:34] Funifura     Those two can't even use Teleport! [1:14:36] Soketto     Could it be... [1:14:38] Arue     They intend to die. [1:14:42] Chief     What?! [1:14:46] Hyoi     My daughter... You can't die, Megumin! [1:14:50] CDs     Megumin! Yunyun! [1:14:53] Wiz     Everyone! [1:14:54] Wiz     I need your help! [1:14:57] Aqua     Blessing. Blessing. Blessing. [1:15:00] Aqua     Blessing. Blessing. Blessing. [1:15:04] Aqua     I've known you for a while now, Kazuma-san, [1:15:06] Aqua     and you never run out of crazy ideas. [1:15:08] Kazuma     It'll be fine. [1:15:11] Kazuma     I've got a goddess on my side, right? [1:15:15] Kazuma     Give me all you've got, partner! [1:15:21] Aqua     Leave it to me! [1:15:35] CD F     Is this... [1:15:37] Pucchin     She's a dark one... [1:15:39] Pucchin     But... twists like this are kind of my thing. [1:15:44] Soketto     Right! You understand our culture     pretty well, for an outsider! [1:15:48] Wiz     Thank you! [1:15:50] Wiz     Now, everyone, while Kazuma     and the others are buying time, [1:15:54] Wiz     give me your magic power! [1:16:04] Sylvia     I'm sick of wasting my time with this village [1:16:06] Sylvia     full of maniacs with nothing to show for it! [1:16:10] Sylvia     I've fought this entire time with my pride     as a general in the Devil King's army! [1:16:14] Sylvia     And my men, who admire me,     have fought loyally in my name! [1:16:18] Sylvia     But... [1:16:25] Sylvia     When I was on the verge of death,     I realized something! [1:16:29] Sylvia     That I was wrong! [1:16:32] Sylvia     Satisfaction and happiness     aren't the same thing! [1:16:35] Sylvia     No matter how hard I try, the only     people who notice are goblins! [1:16:39] Goblin     Sylvia-sama! I love you! [1:16:44] Sylvia     I have relationships, but no love! [1:16:47] Sylvia     I've never wanted romance     as badly as I do now! [1:16:50] Sylvia     My life won't shine until     I finally have love in it! [1:16:54] Kazuma     You idiot! [1:17:04] Kazuma     That's not true. [1:17:08] Kazuma     Sylvia, from the moment I met you... [1:17:15] Kazuma     You were already shining! [1:17:24] Sylvia     N-No one's ever scolded     me like that before... [1:17:29] Kazuma     Sylvia. [1:17:37] Sylvia     I can't believe you... [1:17:46] Sylvia     I love you. [1:17:48] Kazuma     I love you. [1:17:50] Sylvia     I love you... [1:17:52] Kazuma     ...so much! [1:18:03] Sylvia     I love you! [1:18:07] Kazuma     The rest is up to you guys! [1:18:14] Wiz     S-So much magic power! [1:18:17] Wiz     Megumin-san, Yunyun-san, [1:18:19] Wiz     it's all yours! [1:18:29] Yunyun     The magic power... [1:18:30] Yunyun     of everyone in the village! [1:18:35] Megumin     This is crazy! I've never heard     of a gamble with worse odds! [1:18:39] (Flashback) Megumin     Kazuma becoming Sylvia's weakness...     because she'll like him? [1:18:42] (Flashback) Megumin     If only I knew advanced magic... [1:18:46] (Flashback) Yunyun     Megumin. [1:18:48] (Flashback) Yunyun     Kazuma-san has faith in your Explosion magic. [1:18:52] (Flashback) Yunyun     He wouldn't come up with a     plan like this if he didn't. [1:18:58] (Flashback) Yunyun     Megumin, have you lost     faith in Explosion magic? [1:19:06] Megumin     Power... surging! [1:19:16] Yunyun     I am called Yunyun! [1:19:17] Yunyun     The foremost and greatest mage     among the Crimson Demons! [1:19:22] Megumin     I am called Megumin! [1:19:23] Megumin     The foremost and greatest mage     among the Crimson Demons! [1:19:28] Megumin     Because Yunyun allowed me to pursue     Explosion magic on that day, [1:19:32] Megumin     I became who I am now! [1:19:34] Yunyun     And because I had Megumin as my     rival, I became who I am now! [1:19:41] Yunyun     Light of Saber! [1:19:46] Megumin     Let the storm blow! Let the flames roar! [1:19:53] Megumin     Explosion magic is the stuff of dreams! [1:19:56] Megumin     It is the ultimate magic that     turns the impossible possible! [1:20:00] Megumin     Explosion! [1:20:08] Sylvia     Love! [1:20:14] Darkness     A barrier?! [1:20:15] Sylvia     Dreams! [1:20:19] Sylvia     Hope! [1:20:26] Funifura     Don't give up, Megumin! [1:20:27] Dodonko     You can do it, Yunyun! [1:20:29] Pucchin     My students! [1:20:37] Sylvia     That magic can't take my life! [1:20:40] Sylvia     I'm moving forward! Into the future! [1:20:44] Kazuma     Sylvia. [1:20:47] Kazuma     Let's go... [1:20:50] Kazuma     Together! [1:20:53] Sylvia     I love you... [1:20:55] Kazuma     I love you! [1:21:03] Aqua     Kazuma was able to bring down     the barrier in her heart! [1:21:16] Sylvia     Satou Kazuma... y-you... toyed with me, [1:21:24] Sylvia     but I still love you! [1:21:27] Kazuma     This... is... my popular phase! [1:21:48] Kazuma     And so, my popular phase came to an end. [1:21:53] Kazuma     If Aqua hadn't used Blessing to     buff my luck dozens of times over, [1:21:57] Kazuma     I would've probably been blasted     beyond even smithereens. [1:22:02] Kazuma     Even with my higher than average luck stat, [1:22:05] Kazuma     this was an incredibly risky move. [1:22:11] Luna     Welcome back, Kazuma-san. [1:22:14] Ruffian     I see. Sounds like you've been through hell. [1:22:17] Ruffian     But ain't that what adventuring's all about? [1:22:20] Ruffian     A toast to your adventure! [1:22:22] Adventurers     Let's all cheer for Kazuma! [1:22:25] Adventurers     Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! [1:22:30] Ruffian     Warriors deserve cheers every now and then. [1:22:33] Kazuma     There's no telling when my next     popular phase will kick in. [1:22:40] Aqua     There we go! [1:22:43] Darkness     It's perfect weather for a picnic today. [1:22:46] Kazuma     Man, yet another brutal adventure... [1:22:50] Megumin     I'm sorry. [1:22:55] Megumin     If I knew advanced magic,     you wouldn't have died... [1:23:00] Kazuma     You've got that right. [1:23:02] Kazuma     The whole process is pretty unpleasant,     until you're fully revived. [1:23:06] Kazuma     Plus, the moment you die... hurts super bad. [1:23:14] Kazuma     What's wrong? [1:23:18] Megumin     Can I ask you to do something terrible? [1:23:22] Megumin     I want to be a mage who doesn't     get in the way from now on. [1:23:30] Kazuma     You want me to press the button     so you can learn advanced magic? [1:23:35] Kazuma     What happened to your talk about dreams? [1:23:38] Megumin     It's time to wake up. I'll be sealing      my Explosion magic away. [1:23:42] Megumin     The foremost mage among the Crimson Demons, [1:23:45] Megumin     and the wielder of advanced magic! [1:23:48] Megumin     From now on, that'll be my calling card. [1:23:50] Megumin     Since I have higher magic potential     than Yunyun, with advanced magic, [1:23:56] Megumin     I know I'll be number one     among the Crimson Demons! [1:23:59] Megumin     I'm not going to let her take that title. [1:24:11] Kazuma     This is so dumb. [1:24:18] Kazuma     Here. [1:24:19] Megumin     Thanks... [1:24:23] Megumin     Well, let's get going. [1:24:27] Kazuma     Hey, Megumin. Light one up for me. [1:24:31] Kazuma     You haven't done your daily     Explosion today, right? [1:24:36] Megumin     I can't believe you... [1:24:38] Megumin     To ask me to use it as soon     as I decided to stop... [1:24:41] Megumin     What are you thinking? [1:24:50] Megumin     Very well! [1:24:51] Megumin     This will be my final Explosion magic. [1:24:54] Megumin     I'll make it one to remember! [1:25:10] Megumin     Goodbye... [1:25:12] Megumin     Explosion! [1:25:37] Megumin     What the... [1:25:50] Megumin     I am called Megumin! [1:25:52] Megumin     Arch wizard and wielder of Explosion magic! [1:25:56] Megumin     Axel's foremost mage, [1:25:59] Megumin     and she who will one day     master Explosion magic! [1:26:04] Kazuma     Do I need a talented mage? [1:26:07] Kazuma     I've got one who can toy with and defeat the     Devil King's generals with a single Explosion. [1:26:12] Kazuma     If you know one who can do better     than that, I'd like to meet them. [1:26:15] Kazuma     Up you go. [1:26:17] Darkness     Kazuma! Megumin! The tea's ready! [1:26:20] Aqua     I'm gonna eat your lunches! [1:26:23] Kazuma     Isn't it just leftovers they gave us? [1:26:26] Aqua     Well, I packed them for the picnic,      so now they're lunch! [1:26:28] Kazuma     Yeah, yeah... [1:26:41] Kazuma     That one gets 120 points!