Season 1

E1 - This Self Proclaimed Goddess and Reincarnation in Another World!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Kaz
    There we go...
[00:07] Kaz
    I normally shut myself in at home,
[00:10] Kaz
    but unusually for me,
    today I made up my mind to go out.
[00:17] Kaz
    All to get my hands on
    the first-run limited edition
[00:19] Kaz
    of a popular online game
    that goes on sale today.
[00:31] Kaz
    A five-hour round trip!
    I'm glad I was able to buy it.
[00:34] Kaz
    In-store exclusives, official or not,
    really are playing dirty.
[00:40] Kaz
    This sunlight is my worst enemy
    after three straight all-nighters.
[00:44] Kaz
    Time to get home and play the hell out of this.
[00:52] Kaz
    A girl from my high school?
[00:58] Kaz
    Look out! That truck's going to—
[01:05] Kaz
    Why would I choose now, of all times,
[01:08] Kaz
    to do something so out of character?
[01:24] Aqua
    Satou Kazuma-san.
[01:27] Aqua
    Welcome to the afterlife.
[01:31] Aqua
    Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago.
[01:39] Aqua
    Your life was a short one,
[01:43] Aqua
    but you are, in fact, dead.
[01:49] Kaz
    Just one question...
[01:52] Kaz
    What about the girl I
    pushed out of harm's way?
[01:56] Aqua
    She's alive.
[01:59] Kaz
    Thank goodness.
[02:01] Kaz
    That means my death wasn't in vain.
[02:06] Aqua
    Actually, she wouldn't have gotten hurt,
[02:09] Aqua
    even if you hadn't pushed her out of the way.
[02:11] Kaz
    Huh?
[02:12] Aqua
    That tractor was going to stop before it hit her.
[02:16] Kaz
    Huh? Wait a second.
[02:18] Aqua
    What is it?
[02:19] Kaz
    "Tractor"?
[02:21] Aqua
    Yes, it was a tractor.
[02:24] Kaz
    Huh? Then what happened?
[02:26] Kaz
    Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor?
[02:28] Aqua
    No, you died of shock.
[02:30] Aqua
    You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you.
[02:33] Kaz
    I died of shock?!
[02:38] Aqua
    I've been doing this for a long time,
[02:40] Aqua
    but you're the first human to
    ever die in such a bizarre way.
[02:45] Kaz
    I've never even met this girl
    before. What's her deal?
[02:48] Aqua
    You were so terrified that you'd
    be run over, you wet yourself.
[02:51] Aqua
    You passed out and were
    taken to a nearby hospital,
[02:54] Aqua
    and the doctors and nurses laughed
    at you as you had a heart attack—
[02:56] Kaz
    Stop! I don't wanna hear it!
[02:58] Kaz
    I don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna hear it!
[03:00] Aqua
    Your family just rushed to the hospital,
[03:02] Aqua
    and now even they're laughing
    out loud at the cause of death.
[03:05] Kaz
    Stop! Stop!
[03:06] Aqua
    Well...
[03:09] Aqua
    I've vented enough stress for now.
[03:12] Kaz
    Damn her!
[03:13] Aqua
    My name is Aqua.
[03:16] Aqua
    I'm a goddess who guides humans
    who die young to the afterlife.
[03:20] Aqua
    You have two choices.
[03:23] Aqua
    You can start from square one with a new life,
[03:25] Aqua
    or you can go to Heaven and
    carry on like an old man.
[03:29] Aqua
    To tell you the truth,
[03:32] Aqua
    Heaven isn't the dreamy place
    you all imagine it to be.
[03:35] Kaz
    Huh?
[03:36] Aqua
    Not only is there no TV, there are
    no manga or games, either.
[03:38] Aqua
    You don't even have a physical body,
[03:40] Aqua
    so you can't do anything sexual, either.
[03:44] Aqua
    There's nothing to do there but
    bask in the sun for all eternity.
[03:47] Kaz
    What?
[03:49] Aqua
    Yeah, you don't want to go to a
    boring place like Heaven, do you?
[03:53] Kaz
    Uh, right...
[03:55] Aqua
    On the other hand, starting over
    from square one isn't so fun, either.
[03:59] Aqua
    On that note, I've got a great offer for you.
[04:01] Aqua
    You like games, don't you?
[04:03] Kaz
    Huh?
[04:05] Aqua
    That world, which has long enjoyed peace,
[04:08] Aqua
    is being threatened by the Devil King's army!
[04:11] Aqua
    The livelihoods its citizens have worked
    for are being trampled by monsters.
[04:15] Aqua
    Everyone lives in fear of the Devil King's
    army's merciless pillage and slaughter!
[04:20] Aqua
    ...slaughter!
[04:24] Aqua
    Since that's the sort of world it is,
    everyone refuses to be reborn,
[04:28] Aqua
    so the population is declining.
[04:30] ---
    I see...
[04:31] Aqua
    So we decided, "Why not send people who've
[04:33] Aqua
    died in other worlds there with their
    bodies and memories intact?"
[04:38] Kaz
    What's the point in sending me there
    if I'm just going to be killed?
[04:41] Aqua
    That's why I'm doing you a big favor.
[04:43] Aqua
    I'm granting you the right to bring any
    one thing of your choosing with you.
[04:47] Aqua
    It could be a powerful weapon,
    or a tremendous talent.
[04:51] Aqua
    You'll be able to redo your life
    with all of your original memories.
[04:54] Aqua
    To top it off, you can bring
    one thing of your choosing!
[04:58] Aqua
    And the people of the parallel world
[04:59] Aqua
    will earn someone battle-ready to help them.
[05:02] Aqua
    Not a bad deal, don't you think?
[05:07] Kaz
    Um, I want to ask something.
[05:10] Kaz
    Will I be able to speak this
    other world's language?
[05:13] Aqua
    That won't be an issue.
SIGN    Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract
    The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins)
[05:16] Aqua
    With the kind support of us gods,
[05:19] Aqua
    we'll overload your brain so you'll
    be able to learn it instantly.
SIGN    Caution!
    Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world's language into the one
    who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as "Reincarnated") requires
    instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as
    "Brain"), Reincarnated's Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go "p°°f"). Should
    this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051 Clause 3,
    Reincarnated may not hold those responsible for his reincarnation accountable.
[05:23] Aqua
    As a side effect,
[05:24] Aqua
    you might just go "poof"
    if you're unlucky, though.
[05:26] Aqua
    So all that leaves you to do is to choose
    a powerful ability or piece of equipment.
[05:33] Kaz
    I just heard you mention
    something really serious.
[05:36] Kaz
    What do you mean, "poof"?
[05:37] Aqua
    I never said that.
[05:38] Kaz
    Yes, you did.
[05:40] Aqua
    Now, choose!
[05:43] Aqua
    I'll grant you one power
    that is second to none!
[05:51] Kaz
    This is my gamer's intuition talking,
[05:52] Kaz
    but all of the abilities and equipment
    here are totally broken!
[05:55] Kaz
    If I'm going to a world where magic exists,
    I absolutely have to try it out!
[06:00] Aqua
    Hey, hurry it up.
[06:02] Aqua
    No matter what you pick, it's all the same.
[06:04] Aqua
    Nobody's expecting much from
    a shut-in game otaku anyway.
[06:07] Kaz
    I-I'm not an otaku!
[06:09] Kaz
    And I died after leaving my house,
    so I'm not a shut-in, either!
[06:14] Aqua
    None of that matters. Just hurry it up.
[06:17] Aqua
    I've still got lots more deceased
    humans to guide, you know.
[06:20] Kaz
    Damn her!
[06:22] Kaz
    Getting all cocky just because
    she's a little bit cute...
[06:31] Kaz
    "Hurry up and decide," huh?
[06:33] Kaz
    I'll do just that, then.
[06:35] Kaz
    Pick one thing to bring to
    this parallel world, right?
[06:38] Aqua
    That's right.
[06:42] Kaz
    Okay, I pick you.
[06:50] Aqua
    All right, stand there and
    don't leave the magic circle—
[06:54] Aqua
    What did you just say?
[07:02] Angel
    We have heard your request.
[07:04] Angel
    I shall take over your job
    from here on out, Aqua-sama.
[07:09] Aqua
    Huh?
[07:10] Angel
    Satou Kazuma-san's wish complies with
    the regulations and has been accepted.
[07:14] Aqua
    Hey, what is all this? Wh-What?
    You've got to be kidding.
[07:18] Aqua
    No, no, no! Come on, um...
[07:20] Aqua
    This is not right! Taking a goddess
    with you is against the rules!
[07:25] Aqua
    It must be illegal! This has to be illegal!
[07:28] Aqua
    Wait! Wait!
[07:30] Angel
    Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama.
[07:33] Angel
    Should you successfully defeat the Devil King,
[07:35] Angel
    I will send someone to pick you up.
[07:37] Aqua
    I may have the ability to
    heal since I'm a goddess,
[07:40] Aqua
    but I have no fighting ability to speak of!
[07:42] Aqua
    There's no way I can beat the Devil King!
[07:45] Aqua
    Hey, wait!
[07:49] Kaz
    How does it feel to get dragged away with
    the guy you treated like a total idiot?
[07:56] Kaz
    You've been designated as the one
    thing I'll be bringing along,
[07:59] Kaz
    so if you're a goddess,
    use your godly powers
[08:01] Kaz
    or whatever to make my
    life as easy as possible!
[08:04] Aqua
    No!
[08:05] Aqua
    I don't want to go to a parallel
    world with a man like this!
[08:13] Angel
    Brave hero, I pray that of the
    great many prospective heroes,
[08:17] Angel
    you will be the one to defeat the Devil King.
[08:20] Angel
    If you do so, we shall grant any wish
[08:23] Angel
    you desire as a gift from the gods.
[08:25] Kaz
    Whoa, for real?!
[08:28] Aqua
    That's my line!
[08:29] Angel
    Now, go forth on your journey!
[08:34] Aqua
    No!
SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers
SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers
SIGN    Axel
SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers
SIGN    Axel
SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers
SIGN    Axel
SIGN    The Town of Beginning Adventurers
SIGN    Axel
[09:03] Kaz
    It's a parallel world.
[09:05] Kaz
    Hey, this really is a parallel world!
[09:07] Kaz
    W-Wait, I'm really going to be using magic
[09:12] Kaz
    and going on adventures
    in this world from now on?
[09:18] Kaz
    Goodbye, shut-in life! Hello, new world!
[09:22] Kaz
    I can really start anew in this world!
[09:26] Kaz
    Hey, shut up.
[09:27] Kaz
    What am I going to do if everyone
    thinks I'm friends with a crazy woman?
[09:31] Kaz
    More importantly, isn't there something you're
    supposed to give me at a time like this?
[09:35] Kaz
    Look at what I'm wearing. I'm in a tracksuit.
[09:37] Kaz
    Here I am in a fantasy world,
    and all I have is a single tracksuit.
[09:41] Kaz
    Isn't there a bare minimum of
    starter equipment I should—
[09:53] Kaz
    Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it!
[09:55] Kaz
    I get it, okay?! I'm sorry!
[09:58] Kaz
    If you hate it that much,
    then you can go home.
[10:00] Kaz
    I'll work out the rest on my own.
[10:03] Aqua
    What are you talking about?!
[10:04] Aqua
    I'm in trouble because I can't go back!
[10:06] Aqua
    What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do?
[10:08] Aqua
    What am I supposed to do from now on?!
[10:12] Kaz
    Hey, calm down, Goddess.
[10:14] Kaz
    Times like these call for guilds.
[10:16] Kaz
    Going to places like that to gather
    intel is what you do in RPGs.
[10:21] Aqua
    Huh? You're supposed to be
    some game otaku shut-in.
[10:25] Aqua
    Why are you so reliable?
[10:27] Kaz
    All right! Let's go, Goddess.
[10:28] Aqua
    Hey, wait.
[10:31] Aqua
    You can call me "Goddess" if you like,
[10:33] Aqua
    but when you can, call me "Aqua,"
    so we don't cause a commotion.
[10:36] Kaz
    I get it.
[10:38] Kaz
    If you're a goddess,
[10:39] Kaz
    wouldn't you know where we can
    find an adventurer's guild?
[10:42] Aqua
    I'm a goddess.
[10:44] Aqua
    There's no way I'd know about
    every little lowly place like that.
[10:49] Kaz
    This girl's useless...
[10:51] Shop
    Thanks for your business.
[10:52] Customer
    Thank you. Up we go...
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
SIGN    Adventurer's Guild
[10:57] Kaz
    Looks like this is the place.
[11:04] Aqua
    Scary!
[11:07] C
    Welcome! If you're here to eat,
    please take any open seat.
[11:11] C
    If you need job guidance,
    head to the counter inside.
[11:14] Kaz
    Thank you.
[11:21] Man
    Hey!
[11:23] Man
    Haven't seen you around here before.
[11:26] Man
    And what's with the weird clothes?
[11:29] Kaz
    Oh, we've actually come a long way,
    and we just got into town.
[11:36] Kaz
    I want to become an adventurer
    to fight the Devil King's army, too.
[11:41] Man
    Is that right, you reckless punk?
[11:43] Man
    Welcome to the gates of Hell!
[11:46] Man
    If you're lookin' for the guild
    admission desk, it's over there.
[11:52] Aqua
    Hey.
[11:54] Aqua
    How can you make up a story
    like that on the spot?
[11:58] Kaz
    Listen, Aqua.
[11:59] Aqua
    Okay.
[12:00] Kaz
    Today we'll register with a guild
    and find a place to stay the night.
[12:04] Aqua
    G-Got it. I don't know anything about games,
[12:07] Aqua
    but I guess that's how it works
    in worlds like this, right?
[12:10] Kaz
    Exactly. All right, let's go.
[12:12] Aqua
    Oh, wait.
[12:14] Aqua
    You seem like such a capable guy.
[12:17] Aqua
    Why were you a shut-in otaku with
    no friends or girlfriend before?
[12:21] Aqua
    Why did you seclude yourself every day
    and act like such a shut-in NEET?
[12:24] Kaz
    Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch.
[12:26] Kaz
    Don't lump "shut-in" and "NEET" together.
[12:31] Luna
    Hello. What can I do for you today?
[12:34] Kaz
    Um, we'd like to become adventurers.
[12:36] Luna
    I see.
[12:38] Luna
    In that case, you'll first need
    to pay the registration fee.
[12:41] Kaz
    Sure, sure...
[12:42] Kaz
    Huh? Registration fee?
[12:46] Kaz
    Do you have any money?
[12:48] Aqua
    You dragged me here without any warning.
[12:50] Aqua
    Of course I don't.
[12:52] Kaz
    This girl's useless...
[13:02] A
    Are you ready to order?
[13:04] Kaz
    Um, I'm still thinking about it...
[13:07] A
    Please take your time.
[13:09] Kaz
    Hey, what should we do?
[13:11] Kaz
    We've already hit a roadblock.
[13:13] Kaz
    Normally we'd get a minimal
    amount of equipment
[13:16] Kaz
    and enough to cover basic
    living expenses, at least.
[13:19] Kaz
    This is totally inhospitable.
[13:20] Aqua
    There goes your reliability, just like that.
[13:23] Aqua
    Well, I guess it was inevitable.
    You are a shut-in NEET.
[13:26] Kaz
    Don't call me a shut-in NEET.
[13:27] Aqua
    Fine. I guess it's my turn now.
[13:30] Aqua
    Let me show you what a goddess can do!
[13:36] Aqua
    You there, priest! State your denomination!
[13:40] Aqua
    I'm Aqua.
[13:41] Aqua
    Yes, the object of worship for the
    Religious Order of Axis: the goddess Aqua!
[13:46] Aqua
    If thou art one of my followers...
[13:50] Aqua
    It'd be a huge help if you
    could lend me some money!
[13:54] Priest
    I'm in the Eris Sect, actually...
[13:59] Aqua
    Oh, you are? I'm sorry.
[14:03] Priest
    Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Sect?
[14:07] Priest
    The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and
    Eris is that of superior and subordinate.
[14:11] Priest
    This must be fate. I saw earlier that
    you couldn't cover the fee, correct?
[14:17] Priest
    Here. Please consider this
    Eris-sama's divine blessing.
[14:21] Priest
    Still, no matter how devout a believer you
    are, you mustn't call yourself a goddess.
[14:25] Aqua
    Uh, yes. I'm sorry.
[14:28] Aqua
    Thank you very much...
[14:33] Aqua
    He didn't even believe that I'm a goddess.
[14:36] Aqua
    By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me.
[14:41] Aqua
    A believer in my subordinate took pity on me
[14:46] Aqua
    and lent me money...
[14:48] Kaz
    Y-Yeah...
[14:56] Kaz
    Um, we've brought the registration fee.
[15:00] Luna
    S-Sure...
[15:02] Kaz
    Something told me she didn't want
    to make eye contact with us.
[15:06] Luna
    Allow me to formally explain.
[15:08] Luna
    Adventurers each have their own occupations.
[15:12] Luna
    This is your registration card.
[15:15] Luna
    It keeps track of how many
    monsters you've vanquished.
[15:18] Luna
    As your level increases, you'll earn
    points that you can use to learn skills,
[15:23] Luna
    so please work hard to raise your level.
[15:25] Luna
    Now, both of you, please hold
    your hands over this crystal.
[15:30] Kaz
    Like this?
[15:46] Luna
    With this, you will each
    learn your current status,
[15:49] Luna
    so please choose your desired
    occupation based on your stats.
[15:53] Kaz
    Here it comes!
[15:54] Kaz
    Now my tremendous latent
    abilities will be made apparent,
[15:57] Kaz
    and there'll be an uproar
    throughout the guild!
[16:03] Luna
    Yes, thank you very much.
[16:06] Luna
    Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see...
[16:10] Luna
    Average across the board.
[16:12] Luna
    With the exception of
    decently high intelligence...
[16:14] Luna
    Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high.
[16:17] Luna
    Of course, luck isn't a very
    essential stat for an adventurer...
[16:21] Luna
    With this much luck,
[16:23] Luna
    I'd recommend becoming a
    merchant or something similar...
[16:27] Kaz
    Hey, she's disapproving of my adventurer's
    lifestyle right off the bat.
[16:30] Kaz
    What's going on?
[16:32] Kaz
    U-Um,
[16:34] Kaz
    make my primary job "adventurer," please.
[16:36] Luna
    W-Well, you can always
    change jobs when you level up!
[16:41] Kaz
    Y-You're right!
[16:43] Kaz
    The weakest job, huh?
[16:49] Luna
    Aside from your intelligence
    being below average,
[16:51] Luna
    and your luck being the
    lowest possible level,
[16:53] Luna
    all of your stats are
    drastically above average!
[16:57] Aqua
    What? Does that mean I'm really amazing?
[16:59] Luna
    A-Amazing is an understatement!
[17:03] Luna
    The mage class, which requires
    intelligence, is out of the question,
[17:06] Luna
    but other than that,
    you can be anything you want!
[17:08] Luna
    A crusader, sword master, arch priest...
[17:12] Luna
    Nearly any advanced class right from the start!
[17:14] Aqua
    I see. It's a shame there's
    no "goddess" occupation,
[17:18] Aqua
    but in my case, maybe I'll be an
    arch priest who heals her allies.
[17:21] Luna
    An arch priest!
[17:23] Luna
    An almighty class that commands
    all recovery and support magic,
[17:27] Luna
    and that boasts enough strength
    to stand at the front line!
[17:36] Luna
    Without further ado, welcome to
    our adventurer's guild, Aqua-sama.
[17:40] Luna
    All of our staff will be looking
    forward to your future exploits.
[17:45] A
    Starting off as an arch priest is incredible!
[17:49] Man
    Someone like you might actually be able
    to beat the Devil King, you reckless girl!
[17:54] Kaz
    No event like this is going to happen for me?
[17:57] Aqua
    It's the adventurer's life for
    us starting today, Kazuma!
[18:00] Kaz
    I thought you absolutely hated all this.
[18:03] Aqua
    Did I?
[18:12] Kaz
    Well, anyway, everything thus far has
    been basically character creation.
[18:17] Kaz
    Now our adventure is finally about to begin!
[20:08] Kaz
    Wait, this isn't right!
[20:09] Aqua
    What isn't?
[20:11] Kaz
    No, wait a second!
[20:13] Aqua
    What's wrong? Did you forget to
    use the bathroom before bed?
[20:16] Aqua
    It's dark. Want me to go with you?
[20:18] Kaz
    No need! It's not that!
[20:21] Lady
    Keep it down!
[20:23] Both
    W-We're sorry!
[20:29] Kaz
    We didn't come here to be laborers.
[20:31] Aqua
    Oh, that's right!
[20:34] Aqua
    I need you to defeat the Devil King,
    or I'll never be able to go home!
[20:44] Kaz
    Her intelligence stat was
    lower than a human's.
[20:49] Kaz
    All of the monsters near town have
    been long since exterminated.
[20:51] Kaz
    With no monsters, there's no need
    for anyone to give us any fetch quests.
[20:57] Kaz
    I didn't want to learn something so realistic...
[21:00] Lady
    Thanks for your business!
[21:15] Aqua
    What?
[21:20] Kaz
    It's nothing.
[21:22] Aqua
    Say...
[21:24] Aqua
    I was just thinking.
[21:26] Aqua
    Let's go away from here and do a kill quest.
[21:29] Kaz
    We're level one. We don't even
    have full sets of equipment.
[21:32] Aqua
    It'll be fine. As long as you have
    me around, it'll be over in a flash!
[21:37] Aqua
    You can count on it!
[21:39] Kaz
    I feel very uneasy about this.
[21:41] Aqua
    Who do you think I am?
[21:44] Kaz
    That's right. You are a goddess, after all.
[21:48] Aqua
    Yeah! Leave it to me.
[21:52] Kaz
    And so our adventure began,
[21:55] Kaz
    for real this... time.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 1
SIGN    "This Self-Proclaimed Goddess and Reincarnation in Another World!"
SIGN    Mom, I've come to a parallel world. I feel refreshed, as if I've been reborn. I've found a home and a job, and I'm full of energy. And best of all, a goddess has come along with me. So please don't worry about me. I'll be all right... I'll be all right... Probably...
SIGN    Episode 2
SIGN    An Explosion For This Chuunibyou!

E2 - An Explosion for This Chuunibyo!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:19] Kaz
    This isn't how I imagined
    life in a parallel world would be.
[00:23] Kaz
    Income is unstable for a beginner adventurer,
[00:27] Kaz
    so sleeping in a stable is normal...
[00:31] Kaz
    Now that I think about it, adventurers are
[00:33] Kaz
    basically insignificant,
    job-hopping part-timers.
[00:37] Kaz
    Job-hoppers can't even
[00:38] Kaz
    afford to stay in hotels in
    a place as affluent as Japan.
[00:43] Kaz
    Minimum wage?
[00:44] Kaz
    Fair labor standards?
[00:46] Kaz
    What are those? Are they tasty?
[00:52] Aqua
    Good morning.
[00:54] Kaz
    Don't "good morning" me.
[00:56] Kaz
    It's almost noon.
[00:58] Kaz
    Weren't we going on a kill quest?
[01:02] Aqua
    Once I realized we didn't have to go to our
    construction job, I couldn't help myself.
[01:07] Kaz
    What happened to her saying
    I could "count on" her yesterday?
[01:10] Kaz
    So, wasn't this world supposed to be under
[01:13] Kaz
    attack by the Devil King, and in a huge crisis?
[01:15] Kaz
    This is as peaceful as it gets!
[01:17] Kaz
    There's no sign of evil influence anywhere.
[01:20] Aqua
    This is the furthest city
    from the Devil King's castle.
[01:23] Aqua
    Besides, he wouldn't go out of
    his way to attack a city with
[01:26] Aqua
    nothing but novice adventurers in it.
[01:29] Kaz
    I guess...
[01:30] Aqua
    Now, let's go on that kill quest!
[01:34] Aqua
    You can count on me!
[01:37] Kaz
    Something tells me you said
    something similar yesterday.
[01:41] Kaz
    But it is true that you're a goddess.
[01:44] Kaz
    I'm counting on you.
[01:45] Kaz
    All right, let's put together the most
    basic equipment we can and head out.
[01:49] Aqua
    Yeah!
[01:51] Stable
    How long are you gonna hang around?!
    You wanna get walloped?!
[01:54] Both
    W-We're sorry!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 2
SIGN    "An Explosion for This Chunibyo!"
SIGN    Kill Quest
SIGN    Defeat 5 "Giant Toads"
    In 3 Days
SIGN    Kill Quest
SIGN    Kill Quest
[03:41] Kaz
    Save me, Aqua!
[03:44] Kaz
    Save me— Whoa!
[03:47] Aqua
    Oh, man, this is hysterical!
[03:49] Aqua
    Kazuma, your face is red and
    you have tears in your eyes!
[03:52] Aqua
    You look super desperate!
[03:54] Kaz
    I'll bury her later, before I head home!
[03:57] Kaz
    Giant Toads.
[03:59] Kaz
    These guys can't be dismissed as simple frogs.
[04:02] Kaz
    When mating season comes,
[04:03] Kaz
    they show up in settlements with lots of prey,
[04:06] Kaz
    and swallow the farmers' goats whole
[04:08] Kaz
    to build up strength in
    preparation to lay their eggs.
[04:12] Kaz
    In fact, farmers and children
    from the settlement
[04:15] Kaz
    tend to go missing during these
    frogs' mating season every year.
[04:20] Kaz
    By the way, their meat is somewhat tough,
[04:22] Kaz
    but it's so light and refreshing
[04:24] Kaz
    that it's a highly coveted ingredient.
[04:27] Aqua
    Kazuma!
[04:29] Aqua
    If you want me to save you,
[04:30] Aqua
    why don't you start by adding
    "san" to the end of my name?!
[04:34] Kaz
    Aqua-sama!
[04:36] Aqua
    I guess I have no choice.
[04:38] Aqua
    I'll help you out, you shut-in NEET!
[04:40] Aqua
    In return, you'd better worship
    me from tomorrow onward!
[04:44] Kaz
    Huh?
[04:45] Aqua
    When we get back to town,
    join the Axis Sect
[04:48] Aqua
    and pray to me three times a day.
[04:50] Aqua
    At meal time, when I say "Gimme,"
[04:52] Aqua
    you'll hand your food
    over without resistance.
[04:55] Aqua
    And—
[05:02] Kaz
    Don't get eaten!
[05:06] Both
    KONOSUBA!
[05:11] Kaz
    Good thing the frog stopped moving
    around while it was eating you.
[05:19] Aqua
    Thank you, Kazuma!
[05:22] Aqua
    Thank you!
[05:23] Aqua
    Thank you so much!
[05:27] Kaz
    She smells disgusting!
[05:29] Kaz
    Um, let's head back for today.
[05:31] Kaz
    These guys are more than we can handle.
[05:35] Kaz
    Let's do this after we get
    more equipment together.
[05:39] Aqua
    I'm all dirty now.
[05:42] Aqua
    If the followers of Axis
    see me sullied like this,
[05:45] Aqua
    I'll lose their devotion!
[05:47] Aqua
    If it gets out that I backed
    down from a lowly frog,
[05:50] Aqua
    the name of the beautiful and stunning
    Aqua-sama will fall by the wayside!
[05:54] Kaz
    She's normally happy as can be to work
    up a sweat with the older workers,
[05:58] Kaz
    and looks forward to her post-bath dinner
[06:00] Kaz
    and a good, hard drink most of all.
[06:03] Kaz
    She even drools while she sleeps in the stable.
[06:06] Kaz
    It's a little late to complain
    about being "dirty"...
[06:11] Kaz
    Hey! Wait, Aqua!
[06:12] Aqua
    Feel the power of the gods!
[06:15] Aqua
    Regret that you ever stood in my path
[06:17] Aqua
    and bared your fangs at the gods,
[06:19] Aqua
    and repent in the pits of Hell!
[06:22] Aqua
    God Blow!
[06:25] Aqua
    "God Blow" is a lethal fist that carries
    a goddess's rage and sorrow!
[06:30] Aqua
    Any it strikes will perish!
[06:38] Aqua
    N-Now that I have a good look at you,
    I think frogs are pretty cute.
[06:43] Kaz
    Aqua!
SIGN    2 Giant Toads Killed
SIGN    Today's Results
SIGN    Eris
[06:59] Man
    Miss, another over here!
[07:02] Aqua
    There's no way the two of us
    can take them on alone.
[07:04] Aqua
    Let's recruit more allies!
[07:05] Kaz
    5,000 eris per frog...
[07:09] Kaz
    We risked our lives and earned no more
    than part-time construction work pays.
[07:13] Aqua
    This is surprisingly tasty.
[07:15] Aqua
    It's a little tough, but the texture's quite nice.
[07:18] Kaz
    You say "allies,"
[07:20] Kaz
    but we're beginners with
    no decent equipment.
[07:22] Kaz
    Do you really think anyone
    will party up with us?
[07:24] Aqua
    You've got me here, so allies—
[07:26] Kaz
    Swallow your food!
    Swallow your food, then talk!
[07:30] Aqua
    I'm an arch priest, the most
    advanced job there is!
[07:33] Aqua
    Anyone would kill to have me in their party!
[07:37] Aqua
    If I offhandedly decided to recruit members,
[07:39] Aqua
    there'd be tons of people saying,
    "Please! Take me with you!"
[07:43] Aqua
    Now that we've got that straight,
    hand me another piece of fried frog!
[07:47] Kaz
    Oh?
SIGN    The Next Day
[07:59] Aqua
    Nobody's coming.
[08:03] Kaz
    More than half a day passed after
    we posted the recruitment offer,
[08:06] Kaz
    but no prospective future heroes showed up.
[08:08] 1
    No way.
[08:09] 2
    You said it.
[08:11] Aqua
    Immediate opening!
    We're a cozy, harmonious party.
[08:14] Aqua
    Any adventurers who wish to journey with
[08:17] Aqua
    the beautiful and noble arch priest,
    Aqua-sama, need look no further!
[08:20] Aqua(ReviewA)
    I've been happy every day
    since I joined this party.
[08:23] Aqua(ReviewA)
    I definitely hit the jackpot!
[08:26] Aqua(ReviewB)
    I got over my illness and became popular,
[08:28] Aqua(ReviewB)
    all thanks to joining Aqua-sama's party!
[08:31] Aqua
    Hiring requirements: adventurers
    in advanced job classes only.
[08:37] Kaz
    Hey, let's lower the bar a little.
[08:40] Kaz
    Recruiting only members in
    advanced jobs is way too strict.
[08:44] Aqua
    But... But...
[08:46] Kaz
    At this rate, not a single person will come.
[08:49] Kaz
    I mean, you might have an advanced job,
    but I'm still in the weakest.
[08:54] Kaz
    I'll feel ashamed if I'm completely
    surrounded by the elite.
[08:56] Megu
    I happened to notice your recruitment poster.
[09:02] Megu
    That we would meet is a fate
    chosen by the world itself.
[09:05] Megu
    I have anxiously awaited the arrival
    of those such as yourselves.
[09:14] Megu
    My name is Megumin!
[09:16] Megu
    My calling is that of an arch wizard,
[09:18] Megu
    one who controls explosion magic,
[09:19] Megu
    the strongest of all offensive magic!
[09:25] Kaz
    Um...
[09:28] Megu
    Do you, too, desire my forbidden strength,
[09:29] Megu
    which is so almighty, I've been
    ostracized by the entire world?
[09:33] Kaz
    Huh?
[09:35] Megu
    Then show me thine resolve to peer
    into the ultimate abyss with me!
[09:40] Megu
    When man stares into the abyss,
    the abyss stares back.
[09:47] Kaz
    Are you just here to poke fun at us?
[09:48] Megu
    N-No!
[09:51] Aqua
    That red eye... Are you a crimson demon?
[09:55] Megu
    Indeed! I am Megumin, user of the
    finest magic crimson demons possess!
[09:59] Megu
    My lethal magic demolishes mountains,
[10:03] Megu
    smashes boulders...
[10:07] Kaz
    Hey, what's wrong?!
[10:12] Megu
    I haven't eaten anything in three days.
[10:15] Megu
    Do you have anything I could eat?
[10:18] Kaz
    I don't mind treating you,
[10:20] Kaz
    but what's with the eyepatch?
[10:22] Kaz
    If you're injured, why don't
    we have her heal you?
[10:25] Kaz
    Her one strong suit is healing magic.
[10:28] Aqua
    My "one"?!
[10:30] Megu
    This is the magic item that
    suppresses my mighty magical powers.
[10:35] Megu
    If I were ever to take this off,
[10:37] Megu
    a great catastrophe would
    surely befall this world...
[10:41] Kaz
    So it's like a seal?
[10:44] Megu
    Well, that was a lie.
[10:46] Megu
    I just wear it for looks.
[10:49] Megu
    I'm sorry! Please don't pull on it!
[10:52] Megu
    Stop... Stop it!
[10:54] Aqua
    You know,
[10:55] Megu
    Please cut it out!
[10:55] Aqua
    crimson demons are born with high
    intelligence, and possess magical powers.
[10:56] Megu
    Actually, it'll hurt if you just let go,
[10:59] Megu
    so please just slowly put it back where it was.
[11:00] Aqua
    Generally, they're all expert magicians,
[11:02] Aqua
    and all have weird names.
[11:03] Megu
    That's right, slowly, slowly...
[11:05] Kaz
    Oh?
[11:06] Megu
    Ow! My eye!
[11:09] Kaz
    Sorry. I thought you were making fun of us.
[11:12] Kaz
    You were talking gibberish
    and gave us that weird name.
[11:16] Megu
    Calling my name weird is rude.
[11:18] Megu
    From my point of view, it's everyone
    else in town who has a weird name.
[11:23] Kaz
    By the way, what are your parents' names?
[11:25] Megu
    My mother is Yuiyui and
    my father is Hyoizaburo!
[11:32] Kaz
    So this girl's clan has a lot
    of good magicians, right?
[11:36] Megu
    Hey! If you've got something to say
    about my parents' names, let's hear it!
[11:40] Megu
    Hyoizaburo!
[11:48] Aqua
    Adventurer cards can't be forged.
[11:50] Aqua
    She's an arch wizard for sure.
[11:54] Aqua
    It's an advanced job that commands
    powerful offensive magic!
[11:56] Kaz
    Yeah, this girl's magic stat is high...
[12:00] Aqua
    Also, if she really can use explosion
    magic, then that's amazing!
[12:05] Aqua
    It's the most advanced attack magic there is!
[12:08] Megu
    Hey, don't call me "this girl" and "she."
[12:11] Megu
    I'd prefer you called me by name.
[12:18] Kaz
    Well, go ahead and order
    something, "arch wizard."
SIGN    Kill Quest
SIGN    Defeat 5 "Giant Toads" In 3 Days
SIGN    Quest Progress 2/5
[12:29] Megu
    Explosion magic is the strongest magic.
[12:32] Megu
    But that also means it takes time to prepare.
[12:36] Megu
    Please keep that frog at bay until
    my preparations are complete.
[12:40] Kaz
    Right. I'll do it.
[12:43] Aqua
    Kazuma, there's another over there!
[12:45] Kaz
    Two at once?
[12:49] Kaz
    Target the frog in the distance with your magic.
[12:52] Megu
    Understood.
[12:53] Kaz
    As for the closer one...
[12:54] Kaz
    Hey, let's go, Aqua.
[12:56] Kaz
    You are a former something-or-other, right?
[12:58] Kaz
    Show off some of your former ability.
[13:01] Aqua
    What do you mean "former"?!
[13:02] Aqua
    I am a goddess! Present tense!
[13:05] Megu
    Goddess?
[13:07] Kaz
    Oh, she just calls herself one. It's rather sad.
[13:10] Kaz
    She blurts out stuff like this at times,
[13:12] Kaz
    but it's best not to pay it any mind.
[13:14] Megu
    How sad...
[13:16] Aqua
    Wh-What?! These frogs may be
    strong against physical attacks,
[13:20] Aqua
    but this time for sure...
[13:22] Aqua
    Watch this, Kazuma!
[13:23] Aqua
    I'll show you the powers of
    a goddess today for sure!
[13:27] Aqua
    Tremble before me and fall asleep!
[13:29] Aqua
    God Requiem!
[13:31] Aqua
    "God Requiem" is a goddess's
    requiem of love and sorrow!
[13:35] Aqua
    Any it strikes will perish!
[13:44] Kaz
    That's a goddess for you.
[13:45] Kaz
    She put her life on the line to buy us time.
[13:50] Megu
    Darkness blacker than black
    and darker than dark,
[13:53] Megu
    I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.
[13:56] Megu
    The time of awakening cometh.
[13:58] Megu
    Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary,
[14:01] Megu
    appear now as an intangible distortion!
[14:03] Megu
    Dance, dance, dance!
[14:06] Megu
    I desire for my torrent of
    power a destructive force:
[14:09] Megu
    a destructive force without equal!
[14:12] Megu
    Return all creation to cinders,
[14:14] Megu
    and come from the abyss!
[14:16] Megu
    This is the mightiest means
    of attack known to man,
[14:20] Megu
    the ultimate attack magic! Explosion!
[14:48] Kaz
    Wow...
[14:50] Kaz
    So this is magic?
[14:57] Kaz
    Did the explosion wake it up?
[15:00] Kaz
    Megumin! Let's back off for now and—
[15:04] Kaz
    Huh?
[15:06] Megu
    While my mystic art, explosion magic,
[15:08] Megu
    possesses tremendous might,
[15:10] Megu
    it also consumes tremendous magical power.
[15:13] Megu
    In short,
[15:15] Megu
    I used magic exceeding my limits,
[15:18] Megu
    so now I can't move a muscle.
[15:20] Kaz
    Huh?
[15:22] Megu
    I never expected a frog to pop up so close by.
[15:26] Megu
    This is bad.
[15:27] Megu
    I'm going to be eaten.
[15:28] Megu
    Sorry, could you help me ou—
[15:35] Kaz
    Y-You guys! Don't get eaten!
SIGN    Killed 3 Giant Toads
SIGN    Today's Results
SIGN    Successfully Defeated 5 Total
SIGN    Quest Complete
[15:48] ---
    Wow! Check out this tadpole!
[15:50] ---
    Whoa, it's huge!
[15:53] Aqua
    I stink... I stink!
[15:57] Megu
    The inside of a frog stinks,
[15:59] Megu
    but it feels nice and warm...
[16:02] Kaz
    That's information I didn't need to know.
[16:05] Kaz
    You're banned from using explosion
    magic, except in emergencies.
[16:09] Kaz
    Just do your best with some
    other magic from now on.
[16:12] Megu
    I can't.
[16:13] Kaz
    Huh?
[16:15] Megu
    I can only use explosion magic.
[16:17] Megu
    I can't use any other type of magic.
[16:21] Kaz
    For real?
[16:23] Megu
    For real.
[16:27] Girl
    Hey, wait right there!
[16:29] Aqua
    Huh?
[16:30] Aqua
    If your level is high enough
    to use explosion magic,
[16:32] Aqua
    shouldn't you be able
    to use other magic, too?
[16:35] Aqua
    Even I didn't learn all the arch priest spells
[16:39] Aqua
    until after I learned the party trick skills.
[16:42] Kaz
    What the heck would you use
    "party trick" skills for?
[16:44] Megu
    I'm an arch wizard who loves
    explosion magic above all else.
[16:48] Megu
    I don't like any other magic
    in the detonation family.
[16:52] Megu
    I only like explosion magic!
[16:54] Megu
    I could, of course, easily go on
    adventures if I learned other magic,
[16:58] Megu
    but that just won't do!
[16:59] Megu
    I only love explosion magic!
[17:02] Megu
    Even if only one use per day is my limit,
[17:04] Megu
    or I collapse after using my magic,
[17:07] Megu
    explosion magic is still
    the only magic I'll ever love!
[17:10] Megu
    After all, I chose the path of an arch wizard
[17:13] Megu
    solely so I could use explosion magic!
[17:19] Aqua
    Wonderful! Simply wonderful!
[17:21] Aqua
    Inefficient though it is,
    I'm moved by your romantic pursuit!
[17:26] Kaz
    Damn, this magician's hopeless.
[17:30] Kaz
    The fact that Aqua sympathizes
    with her proves it.
[17:34] Kaz
    Based on these two fights,
[17:36] Kaz
    I highly suspect this goddess
    is completely useless, too.
[17:41] Kaz
    Frankly, I don't need any more
    problem children to put up with.
[17:45] Kaz
    I see!
[17:47] Kaz
    I'm sure the path ahead of you
    will be thorny, but do your best!
[17:49] Kaz
    Once we reach the guild,
    we'll split the reward evenly,
[17:51] Kaz
    then when we get a chance,
    let's meet up somewhere—
[17:54] Megu
    My only desire is to use my explosion magic.
[17:58] Megu
    I'd be fine with going unpaid if need be.
[18:01] Megu
    Yes, an arch wizard's
    mighty power can be yours,
[18:04] Megu
    for the low cost of food and sundries!
[18:07] Megu
    What choice do you have but to make
    a long-term contract with me?
[18:10] Kaz
    No, no, no.
[18:12] Kaz
    Such mighty power would be wasted on a
    puny party of novice adventurers like us.
[18:17] Megu
    No, no, no.
[18:18] Megu
    It's fine, even if you are puny or novices!
[18:21] Megu
    I have an advanced job,
    but I'm only level six.
[18:24] Megu
    Hey, I wish you wouldn't
    try to tear my hand away!
[18:27] Kaz
    No, no, no, no.
[18:28] Kaz
    What kind of magician can
    only use a spell once a day?!
[18:33] Kaz
    This girl's got a surprisingly
    strong grip, for a magician!
[18:36] Kaz
    Hey, let go!
[18:37] Kaz
    You got dumped by another party, didn't you?!
[18:40] Kaz
    I said let go!
[18:41] Kaz
    Heck, if we go into a dungeon, there won't
    be enough room to use explosion magic!
[18:45] Kaz
    You get more useless by the second!
[18:46] Aqua
    Hey, stop! You're getting it on my face!
[18:48] Megu
    No other parties will take me anymore!
[18:52] Megu
    I'll carry your stuff,
    or whatever else you need!
[18:54] Megu
    I'm begging you! Please don't abandon me!
[18:56] A
    How awful. That man's going
    to abandon a little girl!
[19:00] B
    And he's got a girl covered
    in snot beside him.
[19:03] A
    Toying with such a little girl, then
    discarding her? What a scumbag!
[19:06] C
    Look! Both those girls are all slimy!
[19:10] C
    What sort of acts did that
    pervert perform on them?!
[19:13] Kaz
    I-It's not like that!
[19:21] Megu
    I'm fine with whatever erotic acts you like!
[19:25] Megu
    I'll show you I can even endure that
    slimy act we used those frogs for!
[19:28] Kaz
    All right, I get it!
[19:30] Kaz
    Glad to have you aboard!
[19:32] All
    KONOSUBA!
[19:37] Luna
    I've confirmed that you
    have completed your quest.
[19:39] Luna
    Thank you for your hard work.
[19:41] Kaz
    I went up four levels all at once.
[19:44] Kaz
    You really do get stronger just
    by defeating some monsters...
[19:48] Luna
    The newer the adventurer,
    the faster you'll grow.
[19:51] Luna
    Now then, adding up the
    sale of the giant toads
[19:54] Luna
    and your quest completion reward,
[19:56] Luna
    your total comes to 110,000 eris.
[19:59] Luna
    Please verify the amount.
[20:05] Kaz
    110,000... Split between three people,
[20:09] Kaz
    that comes to around 36,000 eris each.
[20:15] Kaz
    We nearly lost our lives for
    a reward of 36,000 each.
[20:19] Kaz
    It's not worth it.
[20:21] Kaz
    I checked the other quests just in case, but...
[20:24] A
    I want someone to search
    for my lost pet white wolf.
[20:28] B
    I want someone to teach
    my son swordsmanship.
[20:30] B
    Requirements: rune knights
    or sword masters only.
[20:34] C
    Looking for a practice partner
    for magical experiments.
[20:37] C
    Requirements: must have high HP or
    confidence in their magic resistance!
[20:42] Kaz
    Yeah, it's no use.
[20:48] Kaz
    I want to go back to Japan.
[20:50] Kaz
    The ally we recruited is a lost cause.
[20:53] Kaz
    Living in this world isn't gonna be easy.
[20:56] Dark
    I happened to see your recruitment poster.
[21:01] Dark
    Are you still recruiting party members?
[21:06] Kaz
    Um...
[21:08] Kaz
    We are!
[21:10] Kaz
    Though, I wouldn't really recommend it...
[21:14] Kaz
    A female knight.
[21:15] Kaz
    An extraordinarily beautiful one at that!
[21:18] Kaz
    She's such a gorgeous older
    woman, I got so nervous
[21:21] Kaz
    that my voice squeaked a little.
[21:24] Kaz
    It's an adverse effect of
    my long life as a shut-in!
[21:27] Dark
    I see. Thank goodness.
[21:30] Dark
    I have anxiously awaited the arrival
    of someone such as yourself.
[21:39] Dark
    My name is Darkness.
[21:42] Dark
    My calling is that of a crusader.
[21:51] Dark
    Please let... Please let me...
[21:55] Dark
    j-j-join your party!
SIGN    Dad, I've gotten totally used to my life here in this parallel world. My days are busy, spent with my dependable companions. Work is going well, and I've been commended, saying I'll be promoted extraordinarily quickly. I'm so content with life that I never feel exhausted, lonely, or resentful. It's true. I'm telling the truth, okay?
SIGN    Episode 3
SIGN    A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand!

E3 - A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Dark
    My name is Darkness.
[00:03] Dark
    My calling is that of a crusader.
[00:06] Dark
    Would you please...
[00:09] Dark
    Would you please let me join your p-p-party?
[00:16] Kaz
    Um...
[00:18] Dark
    Those two slimy ladies earlier
    were allies of yours, right?
[00:21] Dark
    What in the world did that to them?
[00:23] Kaz
    Oh, uh...
[00:24] Kaz
    They were swallowed by
    Giant Toads, and the mucus—
[00:27] Dark
    What?!
[00:28] Dark
    It's worse than I imagined...
[00:31] Kaz
    What's with this woman knight?
[00:33] Dark
    No, wait!
[00:35] Dark
    As a knight, I cannot overlook
    such horrors befalling two girls
[00:38] Dark
    of such a tender age!
[00:40] Kaz
    Her eyes are scaring me...
[00:41] Kaz
    She's setting off my danger radar.
[00:44] Kaz
    It's telling me something's up with her,
    just like Aqua and Megumin.
[00:48] Kaz
    No, I'd advise against it.
[00:51] Kaz
    It's hard to say how useful
    one of our members is,
[00:53] Kaz
    another can only use her magic once per day,
[00:56] Kaz
    and I'm the lowest job class.
[00:58] Kaz
    Our party's total trash,
[00:59] Kaz
    so I'd recommend you look elsewhe— Ow, ow, ow!
[01:02] Dark
    That's even better!
[01:04] Dark
    The truth is, this was a bit
    difficult for me to say,
[01:09] Dark
    but while I have confidence in my
    strength and stamina, I am clumsy...
[01:14] Dark
    So, um...
[01:15] Dark
    None of my attacks ever hit their mark.
[01:18] Kaz
    Looks like my sensor was spot-on.
[01:21] Dark
    As such,
[01:23] Dark
    I'll charge to the front line,
[01:25] Dark
    so please use me as a shield!
[01:26] Kaz
    Her face is too close!
[01:28] Kaz
    The negative effects of my long life
    as a shut-in are kicking in now?!
[01:32] Kaz
    No, that isn't it!
[01:33] Kaz
    This is just too stimulating for
    an adolescent virgin like me!
[01:36] Kaz
    Stay calm... Don't be seduced
    by her womanly charms!
[01:40] Kaz
    No.
[01:41] Kaz
    I could never use a woman as a shield.
[01:44] Dark
    It would be my pleasure!
[01:46] Kaz
    Well, we get eaten by
    monsters in every battle.
[01:48] Dark
    That would be even more my pleasure!
[01:52] Kaz
    Oh, I get it.
[01:54] Kaz
    It's not just her abilities.
    She's hopeless to the core.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 3
SIGN    "A Panty Treasure in This Right Hand!"
[03:33] Kaz
    I was so worn out, I slept until noon...
[03:35] Aqua
    Hup!
[03:39] Aqua
    There!
[03:46] Aqua
    Thank you! Thank you!
[03:47] Aqua
    Thank you!
[03:49] Aqua
    Oh, look, Kazuma!
[03:51] Aqua
    What do you think of my newly acquired skill?
[03:53] Aqua
    Isn't it befitting of a
    water goddess like myself?
[03:57] Kaz
    Isn't that a party trick skill,
    you low-grade goddess?
[04:00] Aqua
    KONOSUBA!
[04:03] Kaz
    You can learn skills with the
    points you've saved up, huh?
[04:07] Kaz
    I'll have to be careful not to
    use them on any weird skills.
[04:14] Megu
    First you get someone to
    teach you how to use a skill.
[04:18] Megu
    Then the entry will appear on your card.
[04:22] Megu
    If you use your points on that entry,
    you'll finish learning it.
[04:25] Kaz
    Does that mean if I have you teach me,
[04:28] Kaz
    I could learn to use explosion magic, too?
[04:31] Megu
    Exactly!
[04:32] Megu
    That's exactly right, Kazuma!
[04:34] Megu
    If you want to learn explosion magic,
[04:35] Megu
    I'll teach you as much as you want!
[04:37] Megu
    Heck, is there any other skill
    more worthwhile to learn?
[04:41] Megu
    No, there certainly is not!
[04:43] Megu
    Come, now, and walk the
    path of explosions with me!
[04:47] Kaz
    Her face is too close...
[04:49] Kaz
    Hey, calm... calm down, little girl!
[04:53] Kaz
    Besides, I only have three points right now...
[04:55] Megu
    L-Little girl?
[04:58] Kaz
    Huh?
[05:08] Megu
    I'm a little girl?
[05:12] Kaz
    I wonder if there's some quick and easy skill...
[05:15] Kaz
    One that'll be a good value,
    that doesn't take many points to learn.
[05:18] Dark
    I've been looking for you.
[05:22] Kaz
    Oh, no!
[05:24] Dark
    You said you had too much to drink yesterday
[05:26] Dark
    and headed straight home...
[05:27] Kaz
    N-No need to worry!
[05:29] Kaz
    I was trying to turn her down gently.
[05:32] Kaz
    Looks like my intentions didn't
    get through to her at all!
[05:35] Dark
    Shall we continue where our
    conversation left off yesterday?
[05:38] Dark
    Please let me join your party—
[05:40] Kaz
    I refuse.
[05:44] Dark
    Such a snap decision!
[05:46] Kaz
    Huh? That made her happy?
[05:48] Kaz
    She's dangerous!
[05:51] Chris
    That won't do, Darkness.
[05:53] Chris
    You can't be so pushy.
[05:55] Kaz
    Um, and you are?
[05:57] Chris
    I'm Chris, a thief, as you can see.
[06:01] Chris
    This girl is my friend, I guess?
[06:03] Kaz
    Thank goodness.
[06:04] Kaz
    This one seems like a
    relatively competent person.
[06:06] Chris
    You seem to be in need of a useful skill.
[06:10] Chris
    How about a thief skill?
[06:12] Kaz
    Huh?
[06:13] Chris
    It takes very few points to learn,
    so it's a good value.
[06:16] Chris
    I'm sure it would come in handy.
[06:18] Chris
    How about it?
[06:19] Chris
    If you act now, I'll do it
    for the cost of a drink.
[06:21] Kaz
    That's cheap!
[06:22] Kaz
    All right, please do!
[06:24] Kaz
    Excuse me! One ice-cold drink
    for this lady over here!
[06:30] Chris
    KONOSUBA!
[06:33] Chris
    So,
[06:34] Chris
    there are all sorts of thief skills,
    like "Enemy Detection" and "Lurk,"
[06:38] Chris
    but I recommend this one in particular.
[06:40] Chris
    Here I go. Watch carefully.
[06:42] Kaz
    Right! I'm ready, Chris-san!
[06:45] Chris
    Steal!
[06:56] Kaz
    Hey! My coin pouch!
[06:59] Chris
    This is the thief skill "Steal."
[07:01] Chris
    If it's successful, you can take
    possession of your opponent's property.
[07:04] Chris
    So that's how you use it.
[07:07] ---
    Huh...
[07:10] Chris
    Hey, want to have a showdown?
[07:13] Chris
    Learn this thief skill yourself,
[07:15] Chris
    then steal this pouch back from me.
[07:17] Dark
    Hey, isn't that overdoing it a bit?
[07:20] Chris
    He's an adventurer, isn't he?
[07:22] Chris
    Crossing dangerous bridges
    comes with the territory.
[07:26] Kaz
    A high tuition fee, huh?
[07:29] Kaz
    Still,
[07:30] Kaz
    this is exactly the sort of exchange between
    rowdy adventurers that I've been craving!
[07:35] Kaz
    At long last,
[07:36] Kaz
    it's my first adventure-like event
    since coming to this world!
[07:40] Kaz
    Sure!
[07:41] Chris
    Then it's settled.
[07:42] Chris
    Use your adventurer card
    and acquire the skill.
[07:46] Chris
    The skills you learned from me
    should be displayed there.
[07:50] Kaz
    Enemy Detection: one point.
[07:52] Kaz
    Lurk: one point.
[07:54] Kaz
    Pilfer: one point.
[07:56] Kaz
    Nature's Beauty...
[07:57] Kaz
    "Nature's Beauty"?
[07:59] Dark
    Oh...
[08:00] Dark
    That's the party trick skill
    your ally used earlier.
[08:05] Kaz
    Five points for a measly party trick?
[08:07] Kaz
    That's steep!
[08:08] Kaz
    Yeah, I won't need this.
[08:31] Chris
    Okay! The thief skills you chose are now yours!
[08:34] Chris
    Come at me anytime!
[08:35] Kaz
    All right!
[08:37] Kaz
    Whatever I steal from you,
    don't cry about it!
[08:40] Chris
    A success will net you this magic dagger.
[08:42] Chris
    It's a fine item that wouldn't go
    for less than 400,000 eris.
[08:45] Kaz
    Wow!
[08:46] Chris
    And the consolation prize will be...
[08:48] Chris
    These rocks!
[08:50] Kaz
    That's dirty!
[08:53] Chris
    This will greatly lower the odds
    that you'll nab the dagger.
[08:56] Kaz
    Damn.
[08:57] Kaz
    This really was enlightening.
[08:59] Kaz
    This isn't Japan.
[09:01] Kaz
    It's survival of the fittest in this world.
[09:03] Kaz
    Any gullible fool who gets
    tricked has himself to blame.
[09:07] Kaz
    I'll do it!
[09:09] Kaz
    Steal!
[09:16] Kaz
    All right! Looks like it worked!
[09:24] Kaz
    What's this?
[09:27] Kaz
    Oh! This is just as great a success!
[09:31] Kaz
    I hit the jackpot!
[09:34] Chris
    No! G-Give me back my panties!
[09:45] Dark
    Wh-What a savage act.
[09:48] Dark
    It appears my eyes didn't lead me astray!
[09:52] Kaz
    KONOSUBA!
[09:54] Megu
    Oh, Kazuma.
[09:56] Aqua
    Where have you been?
[09:57] Aqua
    You missed my dazzling tricks.
[10:00] Aqua
    Wait, what's with her?
[10:02] Kaz
    Actually...
[10:03] Dark
    Indeed.
[10:04] Dark
    She's just depressed because,
    when she taught Kazuma thief skills,
[10:07] Dark
    her panties were stripped off, then all
    the money she had on her was taken.
[10:12] Kaz
    Hey, what are you blurting out?!
[10:14] Chris
    He said giving back his coin
    pouch wouldn't be enough,
[10:16] Chris
    so I said I'd pay any price
[10:18] Chris
    if he'd just return my panties...
[10:21] Chris
    But then he told me to decide
    what they were worth on my own!
[10:24] Kaz
    Whoa, hold on! Hold on!
[10:26] Kaz
    You're not wrong, but seriously, hold on!
[10:28] Chris
    He said if I didn't, they'd be revered
[10:31] Chris
    within his family as an heirloom from now on!
[10:34] Kaz
    Hey!
[10:35] Kaz
    The eyes of every female adventurer
    around us are turning stone-cold!
[10:40] Kaz
    Seriously, wait a second!
[10:42] Megu
    So, Kazuma, were you able to learn
    the thief skills without any trouble?
[10:48] Kaz
    Well, see for yourself.
[10:49] Kaz
    Here I go!
[10:50] Kaz
    Steal!
[11:05] Kaz
    What's this?
[11:07] Megu
    What happened?
[11:08] Megu
    Did your stats go up with your level,
[11:11] Megu
    allowing you to change jobs
    from "adventurer" to "pervert"?
[11:15] Megu
    Um, it's a bit drafty,
    so please give me back my panties.
[11:19] Aqua
    Kazuma, you...
[11:21] Kaz
    H-Huh? That's strange.
[11:22] Kaz
    What you steal should be random...
[11:24] Dark
    To strip such a young girl of her panties
[11:27] Dark
    in a public place is truly savage!
[11:29] Dark
    I can't let this pass!
[11:32] Dark
    You must let me join your party!
[11:35] Kaz
    No, thanks.
[11:40] Kaz
    This chick is definitely the hopeless type.
[11:43] Kaz
    I can't let any more weirdos into our party.
[11:46] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma.
[11:47] Aqua
    Is this the person you mentioned
[11:49] Aqua
    who came for an interview while Megumin
    and I were in the bath yesterday?
[11:53] Dark
    KONOSUBA!
[11:56] Megu
    Hey, this lady is a crusader!
[11:59] Megu
    We shouldn't have any
    reason to turn her down.
[12:03] Kaz
    Crap...
[12:04] Megu
    Look at this. She's a crusader.
[12:04] Kaz
    I really didn't want to
    let these two meet her.
[12:08] Kaz
    All right, I guess I can play that card.
[12:11] Kaz
    Darkness,
[12:12] Kaz
    there's something I have to tell you.
[12:16] Kaz
    The thing is...
[12:18] Kaz
    Aqua and I may not look like much,
[12:20] Kaz
    but we seriously intend to defeat the Devil King.
[12:23] Aqua
    Uh-huh.
[12:24] Chris
    Oh?
[12:25] Megu
    You do?
[12:26] Aqua
    Yeah. Awesome, isn't it?
[12:28] Kaz
    Our adventure is bound to become
    more and more rigorous.
[12:33] Kaz
    For you in particular, Darkness.
[12:34] Kaz
    If a female knight like you
[12:36] Kaz
    were to be captured by the
    Devil King, it'd be bad news.
[12:38] Kaz
    You'd be sure to suffer a horrendous fate!
[12:41] Dark
    Yes, that's exactly right.
[12:44] Dark
    Since old times,
[12:45] Dark
    suffering an erotic fate at
    the hands of the Devil King
[12:47] Dark
    has always been the duty and
    expectation of a female knight.
[12:50] Dark
    That alone makes it worthwhile to go!
[12:52] Kaz
    Wait, what?
[12:53] Dark
    Huh? What is it?
[12:54] Dark
    Did I say something strange?
[12:57] Kaz
    I-I'll take care of this one later!
[13:00] Kaz
    You listen up, too, Megumin.
[13:02] Kaz
    Our opponent is the Devil King.
[13:04] Kaz
    We're picking a fight with the
    strongest being in this world.
[13:07] Kaz
    There's no need to force yourself
    to stay in a party like—
[13:11] Megu
    My name is Megumin!
[13:12] Megu
    I am a user of the finest magic
    crimson demons possess,
[13:15] Megu
    and I command explosion magic!
[13:17] Megu
    The Devil King fancies himself superior
    to us and dares call himself "strongest"!
[13:21] Megu
    I shall obliterate his vile presence
    with our strongest of magics!
[13:25] Kaz
    This one's a lost cause, too...
[13:26] Kaz
    What should I do?
[13:27] Kaz
    I made these two embarrassing
    girls even more motivated.
[13:30] Aqua
    Kazuma, Kazuma...
[13:32] Aqua
    I've kind of gotten cold feet
    now that I've heard all this.
[13:36] Aqua
    Isn't there some easier way?
[13:38] Kaz
    You should be the most motivated of all.
[13:40] Kaz
    In fact, this concerns you most of all.
[13:44] Luna
    Emergency quest! Emergency quest!
[13:47] Kaz
    What is it this time?
[13:48] Luna
    All adventurers, please gather
    at the front gate at once.
[13:51] Luna
    I repeat: all adventurers,
[13:54] Luna
    please gather at the front gate at once!
[13:59] A
    They're coming!
[14:00] B
    It can't be! No one told me
    it was happening today!
[14:03] C
    Don't let the children outside!
[14:04] D
    Oh, no! Oh, no!
[14:09] AdvA
    You're all ready for this, right?
[14:11] AdvB
    Better get psyched up!
[14:21] Kaz
    What is it? What's coming?
[14:23] Dark
    I'll protect everyone.
[14:25] Dark
    Kazuma, stay close to me.
[14:26] Kaz
    What's the emergency quest?
[14:28] Kaz
    Is it a monster attack?
[14:30] Aqua
    Didn't they say? It's cabbage. Cabbage!
[14:33] Kaz
    Huh?
[14:36] Ruffian
    Looks like it'll be rough this year...
[14:38] Megu
    A storm is coming.
[14:42] Adventurers
    Harvest time!
[14:45] Aqua
    Bring out the mayonnaise!
[14:54] Kaz
    What the hell is this?!
[14:58] Cab
    Cabbage, cabbage!
SIGN    Compulsory Quest
SIGN    Defeat All the Cabbages
    Flying into the City
[15:02] Ruffian
    Go!
[15:06] Aqua
    In this world, cabbages fly.
[15:08] Aqua
    When they reach optimal flavor
    and harvest season approaches,
[15:11] Aqua
    they don't just sit back and
    let themselves be eaten.
[15:16] Aqua
    It's said they careen through
    the cities and grasslands,
[15:19] Aqua
    cross the continent and ocean,
[15:22] Aqua
    and finally quietly pass away
[15:25] Aqua
    in a secluded region unknown
    to man, without being eaten.
[15:35] Aqua
    If that's the case,
[15:37] Aqua
    let's catch as many as possible,
[15:41] Aqua
    and make them into delicious meals to eat!
[15:44] Luna
    Everyone!
[15:46] Luna
    The annual cabbage harvesting
    season has arrived!
[15:49] Luna
    This year's cabbages are of fine quality,
[15:51] Luna
    and will go for 10,000
    eris per head harvested!
[15:54] Luna
    Please capture as many cabbages
    as you can and lock them up here!
[16:00] Kaz
    Can I just go home and go to bed?
[16:03] Dark
    Kazuma.
[16:04] Dark
    This is a perfect opportunity.
[16:06] Dark
    See my ability as a crusader
    with your own eyes.
[16:26] Kaz
    She's not hitting a single one!
[16:38] Dark
    Look out!
[16:52] Dark
    I'll handle this! Get away while you can!
[16:55] Kaz
    Darkness!
[17:03] Dark
    Wh-What?!
[17:05] Kaz
    Her armor!
[17:07] E
    I-It's no use!
[17:09] E
    Run away by yourself!
[17:11] Dark
    Don't be foolish!
[17:14] Kaz
    Darkness, you...
[17:17] Dark
    How could I ever abandon
[17:20] Dark
    those who have fallen?!
[17:24] 1
    She's a model knight!
[17:26] Woman
    Hurry and run away, Lady Knight!
[17:32] Dark
    They're watching me...
[17:37] Dark
    These uncultured men
[17:39] Dark
    are looking at my skin and getting aroused!
[17:42] Dark
    How shameful!
[17:44] Dark
    So filthy!
[17:46] Dark
    Incredible!
[17:47] Kaz
    She's enjoying it?!
[17:49] Adv
    I can't believe she's going to
    such lengths to protect him!
[17:52] Adv2
    As a knight, I must learn from her example.
[17:54] Kaz
    No! You guys have it all wrong!
[17:56] Megu
    None can stand in opposition
    of my lethal explosion magic.
[18:03] Kaz
    She's gonna give people the wrong idea, too!
[18:08] Megu
    Could I possibly resist the urge
    to unleash explosion magic
[18:10] Megu
    when faced with such a massive enemy army?
[18:14] Megu
    No, I can't!
[18:15] Kaz
    Yes, you can!
[18:17] Megu
    Oh, blackness shrouded in light...
[18:19] Megu
    Frenzied blaze clad in night...
[18:22] Megu
    In the name of the crimson demons,
[18:23] Megu
    let the collapse of thine origin manifest.
[18:26] Megu
    Summon before me the root of
    thy power hidden within the lands
[18:30] Megu
    of the kingdom of demise!
[18:33] Megu
    Explosion!
SIGN    Special Bonus
SIGN    Abundant Cabbage Harvest
[19:00] A
    Well, we won't run short on
    vegetables for a good while!
[19:03] Kaz
    I refuse to accept this.
[19:06] Kaz
    How can a simple cabbage stir-fry be so tasty?
[19:11] Kaz
    I didn't come to a parallel
    world to fight cabbage.
[19:15] Aqua
    I'd expect no less from a crusader.
[19:17] Aqua
    It's no surprise that
[19:19] Aqua
    those cabbages had a tough time
    breaching your iron-clad defenses.
[19:22] Dark
    No, I'm just a solidly-built woman.
[19:26] Dark
    Becoming a wall to protect
    someone is all I'm good for.
[19:29] Megu
    Aqua's Nature's Beauty was splendid, as well.
[19:32] Megu
    She boosted the morale of all the adventurers,
[19:35] Megu
    and preserved the freshness of the
    harvested cabbage with cold water.
[19:38] (Flashback) Aqua
    Nature's Beauty!
[19:40] (Flashback) Aqua
    Nature's Beauty!
[19:43] (Flashback) Aqua
    It was nothing.
[19:44] (Flashback) Aqua
    Here!
[19:44] Aqua
    That's only natural for an arch
    priest who heals everyone.
[19:45] (Flashback) ---
    Here!
[19:46] (Flashback) ---
    Here!
[19:47] (Flashback) Man
    Thank you.
[19:48] Kaz
    Is that important?
[19:50] Aqua
    An arch priest's magical water is very pure!
[19:53] ---
    Really?
[19:53] Dark
    Megumin's magic was astounding, too!
[19:55] ---
    Really?
[19:56] Dark
    You blew away the entire swarm
    of cabbages in a single blow!
[19:58] ---
    Really?
[19:59] Megu
    Have you now seen the power of
    the crimson demon bloodline?
[20:02] Dark
    Impressive.
[20:02] Dark
    Yes. I've never taken a direct
    hit with such firepower before.
[20:06] Kaz
    Don't let her hit you directly!
[20:15] Aqua
    Oh, Kazuma!
[20:16] Aqua
    You weren't half bad yourself!
[20:19] Megu
    Indeed.
[20:20] Megu
    When you erase your presence
    with the Lurk skill
[20:22] Megu
    Steal!
[20:22] Megu
    and attack the enemy from behind with Steal,
[20:26] Megu
    you look just like a skilled assassin.
[20:29] Aqua
    Kazuma, by my name,
[20:31] Aqua
    I hereby confer upon you the title
    of "The Great Cabbage Thief."
[20:35] Kaz
    Oh, shut up!
[20:36] Kaz
    Jeez, how did things end up like this?
[20:39] Dark
    Most importantly, you now understand
    my abilities as a crusader.
[20:45] Dark
    So, once more...
[20:46] Dark
    My name is Darkness.
[20:48] Dark
    I can use swords with either hand,
[20:50] Dark
    but don't expect me to be
    a powerhouse in battle.
[20:53] Dark
    I'm far too clumsy, and my attacks
    hardly ever hit their mark.
[20:56] Dark
    However, I'm very good at becoming a wall!
[20:59] Aqua
    Our party is turning out to have
    a pretty impressive roster, huh?
[21:04] Aqua
    There's me, an arch priest,
[21:06] Aqua
    Megumin, an arch wizard,
[21:08] Aqua
    and Darkness, a crusader.
[21:10] Aqua
    There aren't many parties where three out
    of four members are advanced job classes!
[21:17] Dark
    I'm looking forward to working with you.
[21:18] Kaz
    I wouldn't have any real reason to refuse
    if she were a normal ally, either.
[21:19] Megu
    Yes, pleased to have you.
[21:21] Kaz
    She's gorgeous, after all. But still...
[21:25] Dark
    So, Kazuma, please don't hesitate to use me
[21:28] Dark
    as a decoy or wall anytime from now on.
[21:32] Kaz
    She's one of those people...
[21:33] Kaz
    A total masochist.
[21:35] Kaz
    Although this seems like a perfect
    lineup, it's anything but.
[21:38] Kaz
    I foresee nothing but hardships in our future...
[21:42] Dark
    If I should do anything to hold back the party,
[21:44] Dark
    please reprimand me sternly.
[21:46] Dark
    You may even abandon me as
    a sacrificial pawn if you wish.
[21:50] Dark
    J-Just imagining it makes me
    tremble with excitement!
[21:56] Dark
    Once again, I'm looking
    forward to working with you!
SIGN    To my teacher at school. I'm currently learning in a parallel world... The workings of its society, what it is to be human, and what it means to be alive. It makes me grateful that all the wonderful events transpiring here make me grow as a person. I'm so grateful, it makes me tear up. There isn't a single night I haven't soaked my pillow in tears. Uh, I mean that in a good way. A good way, okay?
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy!

E4 - Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Kaz
    All right...
[00:12] Kaz
    Create Water!
[00:28] Kaz
    Well, that's about what I'd
    expect from elementary magic.
[00:32] Kaz
    Now that I've learned a skill,
    maybe I'm a bit more of an adventurer.
[00:35] Dark
    Kazuma!
[00:36] Dark
    Look!
[00:37] Dark
    I repaired my armor with the
    reward I got for the cabbages,
[00:40] Dark
    and it's so shiny now! What do you think?
[00:43] Kaz
    Looks like the sort of armor some
    newly-rich aristocrat's son would wear.
[00:48] Dark
    There are times when I'd like
    some genuine praise, too.
[00:52] Dark
    You never show any mercy, do you, Kazuma?
[00:56] Kaz
    I don't have time to pay
    attention to you right now.
[00:59] Kaz
    Do something about that pervert who's
    well on her way to surpassing you.
[00:59] Megu
    Irresistible. Irresistible!
[01:02] Megu
    The luster of this Manatite staff
    brimming with magical power...
[01:08] Aqua
    What was that?!
[01:09] Aqua
    Hey, you, what's the meaning of this?!
[01:11] Aqua
    Just how many cabbages do you think I caught?!
[01:13] Luna
    W-Well...
[01:15] Aqua
    What?
[01:16] Luna
    Most of what you caught is actually lettuce...
[01:20] Aqua
    Why is there lettuce mixed in?!
[01:23] Luna
    Th-There's nothing I can do about it!
[01:24] Dark
    It is true that lettuce has
    a low redemption rate.
[01:25] Aqua
    I went through a lot of
    trouble, so do something!
[01:27] Kaz
    Is it? I wouldn't know.
[01:31] Kaz
    Oh, she's coming this way. This isn't good.
[01:34] Aqua
    Kazuma-san!
[01:37] Aqua
    About how much was your
    reward from our last quest?
[01:41] Kaz
    About a million.
[01:45] Kaz
    Yes.
[01:46] Kaz
    Thanks to the quest that was
    sprung on us out of the blue,
[01:49] Kaz
    I suddenly obtained a small fortune.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    "Explosion Magic for This Formidable Enemy!"
[03:22] All
    A million...
[03:25] Kaz
    Many of the cabbages I harvested
[03:27] Kaz
    were apparently packed with lots of XP.
[03:30] Kaz
    I guess high luck makes all the difference.
[03:34] Aqua
    K-Kazuma-sama,
[03:36] Aqua
    I've thought this for quite
    some time, but you're, um...
[03:40] Aqua
    fairly cool, you know?
[03:43] Kaz
    If nothing praiseworthy about me
    comes to mind, don't force it.
[03:48] Aqua
    K-Kazuma-san!
[03:50] Aqua
    I thought my reward for this
    quest would be pretty hefty,
[03:53] Aqua
    so I used up all the money I had!
[03:55] Aqua
    In fact, I expected to
    rake in a bunch of money,
[03:58] Aqua
    so I have a bar tab of nearly 100,000 eris!
[03:58] Man
    You know what's next.
[04:01] Kaz
    What do I care?
[04:02] Kaz
    You're the one who suggested we each
    keep our rewards for ourselves!
[04:05] Aqua
    But that was because I thought
    only I'd make a killing off it!
[04:08] Kaz
    You're real scum.
[04:09] Aqua
    Please, lend me money!
[04:11] Aqua
    Just enough to pay my tab is plenty!
[04:13] Kaz
    Shut up, you useless goddess!
[04:15] Kaz
    I'm going to use this money to escape
    life in the stables once and for all!
[04:19] Aqua
    Well, you are a boy,
[04:21] Aqua
    and I know you rustle around
    beside me at night sometimes,
[04:24] Aqua
    so I'm sure you'd like a private
    room as soon as possible...
[04:27] Kaz
    Got it! All right, I got it!
[04:29] Kaz
    I'll lend you the money, so shut up!
[04:31] Kaz
    KONOSUBA!
[04:32] Aqua
    Kazuma, allies sure are great!
[04:35] Aqua
    We're the greatest party ever!
[04:39] Man
    Oh, thanks for your business.
[04:40] Kaz
    Damn her...
SIGN    The Next Day
[04:50] Megu
    Kazuma looks like a real adventurer now.
[04:54] Aqua
    Wearing a tracksuit ruins
    that fantasy feel, doesn't it?
[04:57] Dark
    Fantasy feel?
[04:59] Kaz
    It's elementary, but I did
    acquire a magic skill.
[05:03] Kaz
    I was thinking of going for a
    sword mage style, with no shield.
[05:07] Aqua
    Only the things you say sound mature...
[05:09] Megu
    Let's go on a kill quest right away, then.
[05:11] Megu
    One with lots of small-fry monsters!
[05:15] Megu
    I want to test out my new staff's magic power!
[05:18] Dark
    No, one with super strong monsters
    that hit with a heavy, pleasant blow!
[05:23] Aqua
    No, let's do a profitable quest!
[05:26] Aqua
    I paid my tab, so I don't have
    enough money for meals today!
[05:28] Kaz
    They're not on the same page at all!
[05:30] Kaz
    Okay, it's the giant toads' mating season,
[05:33] Kaz
    and I hear they're infesting
    areas near the city...
[05:36] Aqua
    No frogs!
[05:36] Megu
    Not the frogs!
[05:37] Dark
    Why?
[05:39] Kaz
    Oh, these two have been traumatized by frogs.
[05:43] Kaz
    They got eaten head-first
    and covered in slime.
[05:48] Dark
    Covered in slime?!
[05:49] Kaz
    You're turned on right now, aren't you?
[05:51] Dark
    I am not.
[05:53] Dark
    KONOSUBA!
[05:56] Kaz
    Huh? What's going on?
[05:57] Kaz
    There are hardly any requests.
[05:59] Dark
    Kazuma! This is it! Let's do this one!
[06:01] Dark
    A kill quest for a giant
    beast called Black Fang!
[06:04] Kaz
    No! No way!
[06:06] Kaz
    What's this all about?
[06:07] Kaz
    There are only high-difficulty quests left!
[06:11] Luna
    I am very sorry.
[06:13] Luna
    The truth is, one of the Devil King's top
    leaders moved in near town recently.
[06:18] Kaz
    Huh?
[06:19] Luna
    All the weak monsters in the area have
    gone into hiding because of that,
[06:23] Luna
    so there's been a sharp decline in requests.
[06:25] Kaz
    What?
[06:28] Aqua
    Honestly... I don't care if he's
    a top leader or whatever.
[06:32] Aqua
    If he's an undead, just watch me!
[06:34] Kaz
    So this means that
[06:35] Kaz
    until capable adventurers and knights
    are sent here from the imperial capital,
[06:40] Kaz
    we won't be able to find any decent work?
[06:43] Aqua
    Look, this is incredible! It's such fine work!
[06:46] Aqua
    I wonder if the sale price will go up.
[06:49] Kaz
    A thrilling adventure in a parallel world, huh?
[06:58] Kaz
    Say, if you want to do magical training,
    can't you go on your own?
[07:01] Megu
    If I did that, who would carry me home?
[07:05] Megu
    After one shot, I can't move anymore.
[07:08] Kaz
    Is she
[07:10] Kaz
    going to make me tag along for this every day?
[07:15] Kaz
    Hey, right here's fine, isn't it?
[07:17] Kaz
    Just use your magic on
    whatever and let's go back.
[07:19] Megu
    I can't do that!
[07:20] Megu
    If I don't do it somewhere far from town,
    I'll be scolded by the guardsmen again.
[07:25] Kaz
    You just said "again," didn't you?
[07:27] Kaz
    Did they get mad and call you a
    nuisance because of the noise?
[07:33] Kaz
    Guess we have no choice...
[07:36] Megu
    KONOSUBA!
[07:38] Megu
    Is that an abandoned castle?
[07:41] Kaz
    It's so eerie.
[07:43] Megu
    I'll use that!
[07:44] Megu
    Surely nobody will complain
    if I obliterate that!
[07:48] Kaz
    Uh, yeah...
[07:50] Megu
    Crimson-black blaze,
    king of myriad worlds,
[07:53] Megu
    though I promulgate the laws of nature,
[07:55] Megu
    I am the alias of destruction incarnate
[07:58] Megu
    in accordance with the
    principles of all creation.
[08:00] Megu
    Let the hammer of eternity descend unto me!
[08:04] Megu
    Explosion!
[08:18] Megu
    Burn to ashes within the crimson.
[08:23] Megu
    This is fantastic...
[08:27] Kaz
    And that's how
[08:29] Kaz
    my new daily routine with Megumin began.
[08:33] Aqua
    It's cheap, dirt cheap! Fresh cabbage!
[08:36] Kaz
    Left dead broke, Aqua worked hard
    at her part-time job every day.
[08:36] Aqua
    How about some, ma'am?
    And you, too, mister!
[08:41] Kaz
    Darkness said she was going to do weight
    training back at her family home for a while.
[08:46] Kaz
    Megumin, who had nothing in particular to do,
[08:48] Kaz
    commuted to that abandoned castle every day
    and kept unleashing explosion magic on it.
[08:50] Megu
    Explosion!
[08:55] Kaz
    On cold, rainy evenings...
[08:58] Megu
    —plosion!
[09:00] Kaz
    On calm, early afternoons,
    right after lunch...
[09:03] Megu
    —sion!
[09:06] Kaz
    On invigorating, early morning walks...
[09:06] Both
    Explosion-plosion! Explosion-plosion!
[09:10] Megu
    —on!
[09:15] Kaz
    I'd give that one 60 points, I think.
[09:17] Kaz
    It was lacking in volume.
[09:21] Megu
    Explosion!
[09:21] Kaz
    No matter the occasion,
[09:23] Megu
    Explosion...
[09:23] Kaz
    Megumin unleashed magic upon that
    abandoned castle every day.
[09:25] Megu
    Explosion!
[09:29] Kaz
    I kept close, observing her magic,
[09:33] Kaz
    and eventually came to
    understand the quality
[09:37] Kaz
    of each day's explosion magic.
[09:47] Megu
    Explosion!
[09:58] Kaz
    It feels pretty good today.
[09:59] Kaz
    The explosion's shock waves practically
    reverberate through my flesh and bones,
[10:04] Kaz
    and yet the delayed vibrations of
    the air seem to stroke my skin.
[10:09] Kaz
    Nice explosion!
[10:11] Megu
    Nice explosion!
[10:13] Megu
    You've come to understand the
    path of explosions, Kazuma.
[10:17] Megu
    How about it?
[10:18] Megu
    Why not learn explosion magic for real?
[10:23] Kaz
    It could be fun to acquire it in
    the future, if I can afford to.
[10:27] Megu
    That's a great attitude.
[10:36] Kaz
    The future, huh?
[10:38] Aqua
    I'm back!
[10:40] Aqua
    Take a look at this!
[10:41] Aqua
    We had some cooking leftover,
    so they said I could bring it home.
[10:44] Aqua
    It's a huge score!
[10:46] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua, I don't want to say this, but...
[10:49] Aqua
    What?
[10:49] Kaz
    To be blunt, I'm starting to think we're
    incapable of taking down the Devil King.
[10:55] Kaz
    Listen.
[10:56] Kaz
    I never had any amazing powers like
    the protagonists in fairy tales do.
[11:01] Kaz
    Shouldn't some group endowed with
    powerful abilities, equipment,
[11:05] Kaz
    and so forth be sent in to fight
    the Devil King's army instead?
[11:08] Aqua
    Don't say that! I'll never be
    able to go home that way!
[11:11] Kaz
    Save lines like that for after you've
    done something a goddess would do,
[11:16] Kaz
    like guiding the hero or buying
    time by sealing the Devil King
[11:19] Kaz
    until the hero can stand on his own.
[11:21] Kaz
    You deadbeat who's only
    useful for party tricks!
[11:28] Kaz
    That's the situation, so come up with some
    profitable business that's simple to do.
[11:32] Kaz
    Also, hurry up and teach me recovery magic,
    the last thing you've got going for you.
[11:37] Aqua
    No!
[11:39] Aqua
    Anything but my recovery magic!
[11:41] Aqua
    Don't take away my reason for being!
[11:44] Aqua
    You've got me for that! Isn't that enough?!
[11:49] Megu
    Your verbal lashings are pretty nasty.
[11:49] Aqua
    Meanie! Demon! Brute!
[11:52] Megu
    Most women would cry if you said what
    was on your mind without holding back.
[11:57] Dark
    If you're feeling stressed out,
[11:59] Dark
    I wouldn't mind if you
    verbally abused me instead.
[12:05] Aqua
    You're so cruel!
[12:06] Kaz
    Why you little...
[12:09] Luna
    Emergency! Emergency!
[12:11] Luna
    All adventurers, please arm yourselves at once
[12:14] Luna
    and gather at the front gate
    of the city, ready for battle!
[12:20] Ruffian
    That's no laughing matter!
[12:30] Aqua
    What is it?
[12:31] Kaz
    Hey, what's going on?
[12:33] Kaz
    He looks crazy strong!
[12:35] Dul
    I'm the leader from the Devil King's army
[12:39] Dul
    who moved into a nearby castle recently.
[12:42] Dark
    Is that a dullahan?
[12:47] Dul
    Day after day, after day, after day!
[12:49] Dul
    Wh-Who's the screw-loose imbecile
    who keeps firing explosion magic
[12:53] Dul
    at my castle every single day?!
[13:01] Kaz
    One of the Devil King's top leaders
[13:03] Kaz
    was utterly enraged with us.
[13:09] Dul
    Day after day, after day, after day!
[13:12] Dul
    Who's the screw-loose imbecile who keeps
[13:15] Dul
    firing explosion magic at my castle?!
[13:22] A
    Explosion magic?
[13:23] B
    Who comes to mind that
    can use explosion magic?
[13:26] C
    If we're talking explosion magic...
[13:33] MagicianA
    Huh? M-Me?!
[13:35] MagicianA
    Why are you looking at me?
[13:37] MagicianA
    I can't use explosion magic!
[13:39] A
    Um, I'm still a novice.
[13:41] A
    Uh, I really didn't do it! Please, believe me!
[13:44] A
    I don't want to die yet!
[13:46] A
    I have little brothers to take care of!
[13:51] Dark
    Megumin?
[14:05] Dul
    So it was you?
[14:10] Dul
    You're the imbecile who fired explosion
    magic at my castle day after day?!
[14:15] Dul
    If you're picking a fight with awareness
    that I'm a leader in the Devil King's army,
[14:19] Dul
    come attack my castle fair and square!
[14:21] Dul
    If you don't have the nerve,
[14:22] Dul
    then stay in the city, trembling in fear!
[14:23] Dul
    Tell me, why the underhanded harassment?!
[14:27] Dul
    Just because we left this city alone since
    there's nothing but small fry here,
[14:30] Dul
    don't get cocky and make my castle go boom,
    boom, boom, boom every single day!
[14:34] Dul
    Are you crazy, you wench?!
[14:39] Megu
    My name is Megumin!
[14:41] Megu
    An arch wizard who commands explosion magic!
[14:47] Dul
    What's "Megumin" supposed to be?
[14:49] Dul
    Are you making a fool of me?
[14:50] Megu
    N-No!
[14:51] Megu
    I am a crimson demon,
    the greatest magician in this city.
[14:56] Megu
    Firing explosion magic at you
    continuously was a strategy
[14:59] Megu
    to lure you, a leader in the
    Devil King's army, out here.
[15:03] Megu
    You fell for it, and came to this city alone.
[15:06] Megu
    Seems you're out of luck.
[15:09] Kaz
    When did this turn into a strategy?
[15:12] Dark
    Not to mention she just proclaimed
    herself the greatest magician in this city.
[15:16] Aqua
    Shh! Do her a favor and keep quiet!
[15:19] Aqua
    She hasn't used explosion magic yet today,
[15:22] Aqua
    and she has lots of adventurers behind her,
[15:24] Aqua
    so she's acting tough.
[15:25] Aqua
    This is the good part,
    so stand here and watch!
[15:31] Dul
    Very well.
[15:32] Dul
    It's not as though I came to this
    land to meddle with you small fry.
[15:36] Dul
    I'll likely be staying in that
    castle for a while longer,
[15:40] Dul
    so don't use your explosion
    magic on it again. Got it?
[15:44] Megu
    Impossible.
[15:45] Megu
    We crimson demons must unleash
    explosion magic once a day, or we'll die.
[15:49] Dul
    H-Hey, I've never heard
    anything like that before!
[15:52] Dul
    Don't make up convenient lies!
[15:55] Dul
    Are you saying you don't intend to stop
    using explosion magic, no matter what?
[15:59] Megu
    Yes.
[16:00] Dul
    I may have given myself up to evil,
    but I was once a knight.
[16:05] Dul
    I'm not interested in mowing
    down weaklings. However...
[16:10] Megu
    You can't act so composed for long.
[16:13] Megu
    Teacher, if you would!
[16:17] Kaz
    Hey.
[16:18] Aqua
    Guess I have no choice.
[16:19] Kaz
    Huh?!
[16:20] Aqua
    I don't care if you're one
    of the Devil King's leaders!
[16:22] Aqua
    Coming here while I'm around was bad luck!
[16:25] Aqua
    I can't accept any decent
    quests because of you!
[16:29] Aqua
    Now, are you ready?!
[16:32] Dul
    What do we have here?
[16:34] Dul
    An arch priest?
[16:36] Dul
    I am one of the top leaders
    in the Devil King's army.
[16:39] Dul
    I'm not so lowly that I'd be purified
    by a low-level priest from this city.
[16:45] Dul
    I know.
[16:46] Dul
    Why don't I make that crimson
    demon girl suffer a bit?
[16:54] Aqua
    I'll purify you with my prayer!
[16:57] Dul
    You're too late!
[17:00] Dul
    I sentence thee to death.
[17:02] Dul
    You will die in one week.
[17:10] Kaz
    Darkness!
[17:14] Kaz
    Damn, he got us! A death sentence?
[17:17] Megu
    Darkness! Darkness!
[17:19] Kaz
    Are you all right?
[17:23] Dark
    It doesn't appear to be serious...
[17:25] Dul
    It appears this method may actually
    be more effective against
[17:29] Dul
    tightly-knit adventurers such as yourselves.
[17:32] Dul
    Listen, crimson demon girl.
[17:34] Dul
    That crusader will die in one week's time.
[17:38] Dul
    Your precious ally
[17:40] Dul
    will suffer as she trembles
    in terror of death until then.
[17:44] Dul
    Yes, because of you!
[17:48] Dul
    Watch as your ally suffers
[17:50] Dul
    for the next week and
    repent for your actions.
[17:55] Dul
    You should have just done as I said.
[18:03] Dark
    How terrible...
[18:04] Dark
    You're basically saying you
    cast a death curse on me,
[18:07] Dark
    and to obey your orders
    if we want it removed?
[18:11] Dark
    Is that what you're after?!
[18:14] Dul
    Huh?
[18:15] Kaz
    I don't even want to understand
    what Darkness is talking about.
[18:19] Dark
    I won't give in to a mere curse!
[18:23] Dark
    I won't give in, but...
[18:24] Dark
    Wh-What should I do, Kazuma?
[18:27] Kaz
    Yes, I'm Kazuma.
[18:27] Dark
    Look at that dullahan's filthy eyes,
    hidden beneath his helmet!
[18:28] Dul
    Huh?
[18:31] Dark
    Those are the eyes of a degenerate who
    plans to take me back to his castle,
[18:32] Dul
    Huh? What?
[18:34] Dark
    tell me to shut up and submit to
    him if I want the curse removed,
[18:37] Dark
    and demand I perform hardcore
    acts of perversion for him!
[18:43] Dul
    Huh?
[18:44] Dark
    You may do as you please with my body,
[18:47] Dark
    but don't think you'll be free to
    do as you please with my heart!
[18:50] Dark
    A lady knight imprisoned in a castle,
[18:51] Dark
    having outrageous demands made
    of her by the Devil King's minion...
[18:55] Dark
    Oh, what should I do?!
    What should I do, Kazuma?
[18:58] Kaz
    Yes, yes, I'm Kazuma.
[18:58] Dark
    This is an unexpectedly moe situation!
[19:01] Dark
    I don't want to go.
[19:02] Dark
    I don't want to go, but I have no choice!
[19:05] Dark
    I'll resist as long as I can,
    so don't stand in my way!
[19:08] Dark
    Okay, I'll be back!
[19:11] Dul
    What a maniac...
[19:13] Kaz
    Stop! Don't go!
[19:14] Kaz
    You're bothering the dullahan!
[19:16] Dark
    Let go!
[19:17] Dark
    Don't stop me!
[19:19] Kaz
    Pitiful...
[19:19] Dark
    Cut it out!
[19:21] Dark
    KONOSUBA!
[19:22] Dul
    A-Anyway!
[19:24] Dul
    Stop firing explosion magic at my castle!
[19:27] Dul
    And you, crimson demon girl!
[19:29] Dul
    If you wish to lift the curse on
    that crusader, come to my castle.
[19:34] Dul
    If you're able to make it all the
    way to me, I'll lift the curse.
[19:39] Dul
    However, will you all really
    be able to make it that far?
[20:03] Kaz
    Hey, where do you think you're going?
[20:06] Megu
    I'm going to go to the castle,
[20:08] Megu
    nail the dullahan with a direct
    hit of my explosion magic,
[20:11] Megu
    and lift the curse on Darkness.
[20:19] Kaz
    You know I'm going with you.
[20:22] Kaz
    If you go alone, you'll use
    your magic on some peon,
[20:24] Kaz
    and then it'll be all over.
[20:26] Kaz
    Besides,
[20:27] Kaz
    I'm the fool who went with you every day
[20:29] Kaz
    and didn't realize the castle belonged
    to one of their leaders.
[20:35] Megu
    Shall we go together, then?
[20:37] Megu
    However, I hear there's a
    bunch of undead in the castle.
[20:40] Megu
    That means weapons won't work very well.
[20:43] Megu
    My magic should be more effective.
[20:46] Megu
    So...
[20:50] Megu
    Please rely on me at times like these!
[20:53] Dark
    Don't...
[20:55] Dark
    Give it up, you two.
    Don't do all this for me.
[20:59] Kaz
    Hey, Darkness! We'll definitely
    do something about your curse!
[21:03] Kaz
    So rest assured—
[21:04] Aqua
    Sacred Break Spell!
[21:24] Both
    Huh?
[21:28] Aqua
    For me, lifting a dullahan's curse is child's play!
[21:32] Aqua
    Well? I can be priest-like once
    in a while, don't you think?
[21:43] Aqua
    Oh, it was nothing. Actually, maybe it wasn't!
[21:46] Kaz
    Megumin and I were so excited.
[21:49] Kaz
    Give us back our motivation...
[21:52] Aqua
    Hup!
[21:53] Aqua
    Nature's Beauty of victory!
SIGN    Emergency Quest
SIGN    Repel the Dullahan!
SIGN    Emergency Quest
SIGN    Quest Clear!!
SIGN    This is the goddess, Aqua. I'm reporting my progress. We ran into a bit of trouble, but just about everything is going favorably. In fact, it appears as though I've saved the extremely incompetent and reclusive Mr. Satou Kazuma. Mr. Kazuma appears grateful for my devotion from the bottom of his heart. Therefore, I would like to request permission to return home... Huh? I can't? Please, I beg you!
SIGN    Episode 5
SIGN    A Price for This Cursed Sword!

E5 - A Price for This Magic Sword!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] Kaz
    This money is meaningless.
[00:14] Kaz
    Feeling satisfied with just a few coins,
[00:16] Kaz
    taking care of a useless goddess...
[00:18] Kaz
    This is not the parallel world life I wished for!
[00:22] Kaz
    Fighting ferocious dragons
    with a cursed or holy sword,
[00:26] Kaz
    being lauded as a chosen hero,
[00:29] Kaz
    love blossoming with a party member...
[00:33] Kaz
    Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
[00:38] Kids
    Red rover, red rover!
[00:41] Aqua
    I've had all I can take of living in debt!
[00:45] Aqua
    A quest!
[00:46] Aqua
    Thanks to that dullahan, there are only
    tough ones left, but let's accept one!
[00:49] Aqua
    I want money!
[00:52] Dark
    I... I don't mind...
[00:55] Aqua
    P-Please!
[00:57] Aqua
    I'm sick of working part-time
    in the shopping district!
[01:00] Aqua
    The manager yells at me if
    any croquettes aren't sold!
[01:02] Aqua
    I'll work hard!
[01:03] Aqua
    I'll give it everything I've got this time!
[01:06] Kaz
    This is one pitiful self-proclaimed goddess.
[01:06] Aqua
    Please!
[01:10] Kaz
    I'm sure I'll run out of money eventually, too,
[01:12] Kaz
    so go find a decent-looking quest for us.
[01:15] Aqua
    Got it!
[01:19] Megu
    Will Aqua be all right?
[01:21] Megu
    I get the feeling she'll bring
    back some insane quest.
[01:24] Dark
    I'd be okay with an unreasonable quest!
[01:30] Aqua
    All right.
[01:31] Kaz
    That's not "all right"!
[01:33] Kaz
    What are you trying to accept?!
[01:36] Kaz
    "There's a place where a manticore and
    a griffin are fighting over territory.
[01:41] Kaz
    Please kill both of them.
[01:43] Kaz
    The reward is 500,000 eris."
[01:45] Kaz
    Are you stupid?!
[01:47] Kaz
    I was right to come check on her.
[01:48] Kaz
    I nearly let her accept a
    ridiculously high-level quest!
[01:52] Aqua
    Hey, check this one out!
[01:55] Aqua
    "The quality of the town
    lake's water has declined,
[01:58] Aqua
    and Brutal Alligators
    have started to live in it,
[02:00] Aqua
    so I would like to have the water purified.
[02:02] Aqua
    The monsters will move to a different
    habitat if the lake is purified,
[02:06] Aqua
    so there's no need to kill them.
[02:08] Aqua
    The reward is 300,000 eris."
[02:11] Aqua
    This quest is perfect for me!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 5
SIGN    "A Price for This Cursed Sword!"
[03:49] Aqua
    How about it?
[03:50] Kaz
    Are you actually capable of purifying water?
[03:52] Aqua
    You fool.
[03:54] Aqua
    Who do you think I am?
[03:56] Aqua
    Surely you can tell
[03:58] Aqua
    what I'm a goddess of from
    my name and appearance.
[04:01] Kaz
    Goddess of party tricks, right?
[04:03] Aqua
    No, you shut-in NEET!
[04:04] Aqua
    Water! Do you not see the beautiful
[04:07] Aqua
    water-colored eyes and hair?!
[04:09] Kaz
    Go ahead and accept it, then.
[04:11] Kaz
    If you accept it alone, you can keep
    the whole reward for yourself.
[04:14] Aqua
    Wh-What?
[04:17] Aqua
    Well, monsters are likely to attack
    while I'm purifying the lake...
[04:21] Aqua
    So I'd like you to protect me...
[04:24] Kaz
    That's what this is about?
[04:26] Kaz
    How long will it take?
[04:28] Kaz
    About five minutes?
[04:32] Aqua
    Half a day or so?
[04:33] Kaz
    That's long!
[04:34] Aqua
    Please, I'm begging you!
[04:36] Aqua
    Help me out, Kazuma-san!
[04:38] Kaz
    How will you go about purifying it, anyway?
[04:40] Aqua
    Huh?
[04:42] Aqua
    Well, for a goddess of my class,
[04:44] Aqua
    simply touching the lake should purify it.
[04:48] Kaz
    I see.
[04:51] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua.
[04:52] Kaz
    I think I know a way you
    can purify the lake safely.
[04:55] Aqua
    Huh?
[04:57] Luna
    KONOSUBA!
[05:05] Aqua
    Hey, are we really doing this?
[05:07] Kaz
    My strategy is rock-solid.
[05:10] Kaz
    What're you unsatisfied with?
[05:13] Aqua
    I feel like some rare,
[05:16] Aqua
    captured monster that's on its way to be sold.
SIGN    Exploration Quest
SIGN    Purify the Riverhead Lake
[05:32] Kaz
    By no means did we come here to abandon
    this worthless goddess in the lake.
[05:37] Kaz
    She'll be able to touch and purify
[05:39] Kaz
    the water from inside the safety of the cage.
[05:41] Kaz
    Aqua! Tell us if anything happens!
[05:44] Kaz
    We'll reel you in, cage and all!
[05:47] Aqua
    I feel like a teabag of black tea
    being made into soup stock.
SIGN    — 2 Hours In —
[05:56] Aqua
    312 iron bars,
[05:59] Aqua
    313 iron bars...
[06:02] Dark
    No monsters are showing up.
[06:04] Megu
    Seems that way.
[06:06] Kaz
    You know, you're being awfully reserved today.
[06:09] Megu
    Huh?
[06:11] Kaz
    Normally, you'd say something chuuni-ish
[06:13] Kaz
    and try to blow the monsters away, lake and all.
[06:15] Dark
    Oh, that's true.
[06:16] Megu
    What sort of impression
    do you two have of me?!
[06:21] Megu
    My ultimate explosion magic isn't to be
[06:23] Megu
    used on the likes of mere alligators.
[06:26] Kaz
    You always fire it off all over
    the place for no reason...
[06:30] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua!
[06:32] Kaz
    How's purifying the lake coming along?
[06:35] Aqua
    It's going well!
[06:37] Kaz
    You'll catch a chill if you're
    in the water too long!
[06:40] Kaz
    If you need to go to the
    bathroom, let us know!
[06:43] Aqua
    Arch priests don't go to the bathroom!
[06:46] Megu
    Sounds like she's doing fine.
[06:48] Megu
    By the way, crimson demons don't
    go to the bathroom, either.
[06:51] Kaz
    Did you used to be idols or something?
[06:53] Dark
    M-Me, either.
[06:55] Dark
    I'm a crusader, so I don't...
[06:59] Dark
    I don't...
[07:01] Kaz
    Darkness, don't try so hard to deny it.
[07:05] Kaz
    You two insist you don't use the bathroom,
[07:07] Kaz
    so next time we'll accept a quest
    that'll take longer than a day,
[07:10] Kaz
    and we'll just see whether you use it or not.
[07:13] Megu
    Please don't!
[07:14] Megu
    Crimson demons really don't
    use the bathroom, okay?
[07:17] Megu
    But I'll apologize, so please don't do that.
[07:19] Dark
    No less from the man I placed my hopes on!
[07:23] Megu
    Still, the alligators aren't coming.
[07:25] Megu
    It would be great if this kept up
    and things ended peacefully...
[07:29] Kaz
    Hey, that line is bound to trigger a flag!
[07:31] Aqua
    K-Kazuma!
[07:33] Aqua
    Something's coming! Hey, a lot
    of somethings are coming!
[07:38] Aqua
    Kazuma! Kazuma-san!
[07:44] Aqua
    KONOSUBA!
SIGN    — 4 Hours In —
[07:49] Kaz
    Since the alligators showed up,
[07:51] Kaz
    Aqua's not only using her
    godly purification ability,
[07:53] Kaz
    but is also using purification magic
    as if her life depended on it.
[07:56] Aqua
    Purification! Purification!
[07:58] Aqua
    Purification! Purification! Purifica—
[08:04] Aqua
    Purification!
[08:05] Aqua
    Purification! Purification!
[08:07] Aqua
    Purification! Purification!
[08:10] Aqua
    The cage! The cage is making a strange sound!
[08:13] Kaz
    Aqua! Let us know if you want to give up!
[08:16] Kaz
    We'll pull the cage in by
    the chain and run away!
[08:19] Aqua
    No way!
[08:20] Aqua
    I won't get my reward if I give up now!
[08:26] Aqua
    It just went "crack"!
[08:27] Aqua
    The cage just made a sound
    no cage should ever make!
[08:30] Aqua
    Purification! Purification!
[08:32] Dark
    It looks kind of fun inside that cage.
[08:37] Kaz
    Don't you dare.
[08:38] Aqua
    Purification! Purification! Purification!
[08:41] Aqua
    Purification! Purification!
SIGN    — 7 Hours In —
[08:54] Megu
    It looks like the purification is complete.
[08:57] Megu
    All of the alligators appear to have left, too.
[09:00] Kaz
    Aqua, are you okay?
[09:02] Dark
    Aqua?
[09:03] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua.
[09:05] Kaz
    Aqua-san?
[09:07] Kaz
    Hey.
[09:08] Kaz
    Hey, I'm talking to you! What's wrong?
[09:15] Kaz
    If that's enough to make you cry,
    you should've retired from the quest.
[09:19] Kaz
    Come on, we're going home.
[09:22] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua. We talked it over,
[09:24] Kaz
    and we don't need any reward for this.
[09:27] Dark
    That's right, Aqua.
    The entire 300,000 eris is yours.
[09:31] Megu
    Th-That's right! You did all
    the work this time, after all!
[09:36] Kaz
    C-Come on, get out of the cage already.
[09:39] Kaz
    The alligators are gone.
[09:41] Aqua
    Just take me back like this.
[09:43] Kaz
    What did you say?
[09:45] Aqua
    The world outside this cage is scary.
[09:48] Aqua
    Take me back to the city like this.
[09:53] Kaz
    It looks like this quest
    traumatized Aqua yet again.
SIGN    Today's Results
SIGN    Purify the Riverhead Lake
SIGN    Today's Results
SIGN    Lake Purification Successful
SIGN    Quest Complete
[10:17] Crem
    That's the legendary Ancient Dragon.
[10:19] Fio
    Can we beat that thing?
[10:21] Fio
    Maybe we should run away...
[10:25] Kyou
    My name is Mitsurugi Kyouya.
[10:27] Kyou
    I was the sort of ordinary high
    schooler you could find anywhere,
[10:30] Kyou
    but in the abyss of death,
    I met a lovely goddess,
[10:32] Kyou
    and was reincarnated into this
    world as a chosen hero.
[10:36] Kyou
    If we let this dragon run rampant,
[10:38] Kyou
    many people could be injured,
    or lose their lives.
[10:42] Kyou
    We are the only ones who can defeat it!
[10:47] Both
    Kyouya!
[10:48] Fio
    The sacred treasure said to be
[10:50] Fio
    created by the gods,
    which only Kyouya can wield...
[10:53] Crem
    The Cursed Sword, Gram!
[11:06] Fio
    That's my Kyouya!
[11:08] Fio
    Only he could defeat the
    Ancient Dragon in a single blow!
[11:11] Crem
    Wh-When did he become yours?!
[11:14] Kyou
    Hey, now, stop that.
[11:14] Fio
    Blah!
[11:15] Crem
    Hey!
[11:16] Fio
    Kyouya is mine!
[11:18] Crem
    What are you talking about?
[11:19] Crem
    Kyouya is mine, okay?!
[11:20] Kyou
    I will save this world, without fail.
[11:24] Kyou
    I made a promise to her...
[11:28] (Flashback) Aqua
    Now, depart on your journey
    with the Cursed Sword, Gram,
[11:32] (Flashback) Aqua
    chosen hero.
[11:35] (Flashback) Kyou
    Lady Goddess.
[11:36] (Flashback) Kyou
    I will slay the Devil King
    and save the world for you.
[11:40] (Flashback) Aqua
    Yes, I expect great things of you.
[11:48] Aqua
    A used-up goddess is being transported along...
[11:50] Kyou
    This voice...
[11:52] Kyou
    I've heard it before!
[11:54] Crem
    Kyouya? Where are you going?!
[11:59] Aqua
    I'm sure they're taking me away to be sold...
[12:11] Kyou
    Lady Goddess!
[12:17] Aqua
    I'm sure they're taking me away to be sold...
[12:19] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua,
[12:21] Kaz
    we're in the city now,
    so stop singing that song.
[12:24] Kaz
    Just transporting a woman on
    her knees in a beat-up cage
[12:27] Aqua
    Hang in there, me...
[12:28] Kaz
    is already drawing everyone's attention.
[12:30] Kaz
    In fact, get out of there already!
[12:33] Aqua
    No.
[12:34] Aqua
    Inside this cage is my sanctuary.
[12:37] Aqua
    The outside world is scary,
    so I won't come out for a while.
[12:41] Megu
    She's completely holed herself up in there.
[12:43] Dark
    Yeah...
[12:45] Kaz
    She's just like I used to be...
[12:47] Kaz
    Oh, nothing, never mind.
[12:49] Kyou
    Lady Goddess!
[12:50] Kyou
    It's you, isn't it, Lady Goddess?!
[12:51] Kaz
    Huh?
[12:55] Megu
    Seriously?
[12:57] Kyou
    What are you doing in such
    a place, Lady Goddess?!
[13:00] Dark
    Hey.
[13:01] Dark
    Don't touch my ally so freely.
[13:04] Dark
    Who are you?
[13:07] Kaz
    You know him, don't you?
    He was calling you a goddess.
[13:10] Kaz
    Do something!
[13:12] Aqua
    Goddess?
[13:13] Kaz
    Yes!
[13:20] Aqua
    That's right! I'm a goddess!
[13:22] Kaz
    She didn't seriously forget
    she's a goddess, did she?
[13:33] Aqua
    So, what business do you have
    with a goddess such as myself?
[13:38] Aqua
    Who are you?
[13:39] Kyou
    It's me, Mitsurugi Kyouya!
[13:42] Kyou
    The Mitsurugi Kyouya who received
    this Cursed Sword, Gram,
[13:44] Kyou
    from you and was reincarnated in this world!
[13:48] Aqua
    Huh?
[13:48] Kyou
    Huh?
[13:50] Kaz
    Huh?
[13:53] Aqua
    Oh, of course! That guy!
[13:55] Aqua
    Sorry, I totally forgot!
[13:57] Aqua
    I've sent along many people,
[13:59] Aqua
    so it's inevitable that I'd forget some!
[14:01] Kyou
    Y-Yes...
[14:05] Kyou
    It has been a while, Aqua-sama.
[14:07] Kyou
    I have been working hard every
    day as your chosen hero.
[14:11] Kyou
    By the way...
[14:13] Kyou
    Why have you been locked up in a cage?
[14:17] Kaz
    Because she didn't want to get out of it.
[14:20] Both
    KO-NO-SU-BA!
[14:23] Kyou
    What?!
[14:24] Kyou
    You dragged the goddess to this world?
[14:27] Kyou
    Then you locked her in a cage
    and dunked her in a lake?!
[14:30] Kyou
    What in the world were you thinking?!
[14:32] Aqua
    W-Wait! I'm having lots of fun every day,
[14:36] Aqua
    and I'm not upset about having
    been dragged here anymore.
[14:39] Kyou
    Aqua-sama, I don't know
    how this man won you over,
[14:43] Kyou
    but you are a goddess!
    And yet, this little...
[14:47] Kaz
    This jerk just says whatever he wants.
[14:49] Kaz
    He doesn't even know Aqua all that well!
[14:52] A
    What?
[14:53] B
    Fighting over a woman?
[14:55] Kyou
    By the way, where are you
    staying right now, Aqua-sama?
[14:58] Aqua
    Um, in the stables...
[15:01] Kyou
    Huh?
[15:04] Dark
    Hey, take your hands off him!
[15:06] Dark
    Is there no limit to your rudeness?!
[15:09] Megu
    He's kind of making me want to blow him up.
[15:11] Kaz
    Don't do that. I'll die, too.
[15:13] Kyou
    You two are...
[15:15] Kyou
    A crusader and arch wizard?
[15:17] Kyou
    I see. You're blessed with
    wonderful party members.
[15:21] Kyou
    You have such excellent people here,
[15:24] Kyou
    yet you make Aqua-sama sleep in a stable.
[15:26] Kyou
    Have you no shame?
[15:31] Kaz
    I'm sure this guy has
[15:32] Kaz
    lived a life free of worry
    with that Cursed Sword Gram
[15:35] Kaz
    that he got as a perk when reincarnating.
[15:38] Kaz
    I worked my way up from square one,
[15:41] Kaz
    so why must I get lectured by a guy like him?
[15:44] Kaz
    Also, these girls are "excellent"?
[15:47] Kaz
    I've
[15:49] Kaz
    never once
[15:50] Kaz
    seen the slightest
[15:52] Kaz
    glimpse of
[15:53] Kaz
    that!
[15:55] Kyou
    All of you should travel with me,
    a sword master, from now on.
[15:59] Kyou
    I'll even buy you full sets
    of high-grade equipment.
[16:04] Aqua
    Hey, this is bad.
[16:06] Aqua
    This guy seriously freaks me out.
[16:08] Aqua
    He's the narcissistic type, and that scares me.
[16:11] Dark
    What should I do?
[16:12] Dark
    My instincts won't let me accept that man.
[16:15] Dark
    I enjoy getting hit more than attacking,
[16:17] Dark
    but something about him
    makes me want to hit him.
[16:20] Megu
    Can I blow him up? Can I blow him up?
[16:22] Kaz
    Um,
[16:24] Kaz
    it sounds like my allies unanimously
    don't want to join your party.
[16:28] Kaz
    Bye, then.
[16:33] Kyou
    Wait!
[16:36] Kaz
    Would you move aside?
[16:38] Kyou
    Sorry, but I can't leave
    Aqua-sama in this environment.
[16:42] Kaz
    What now? He's the type
    that won't listen to anyone.
[16:45] Kaz
    I can see where this is going.
[16:48] Kyou
    Will you have a match with me?
[16:50] Kaz
    I knew it.
[16:51] Kyou
    If I win, turn Aqua-sama over to me.
[16:54] Kyou
    If you win, I'll listen to any
    one request you have.
[16:57] Kaz
    All right, I'm in. Here I go!
[16:59] Kyou
    Hey, wait!
[17:01] Kaz
    Steal!
[17:14] Kaz
    That'll teach you to say whatever you please.
[17:16] Fio
    C-Coward!
[17:19] Fio
    Coward, coward, coward!
[17:23] Kaz
    Are you two this guy's allies?
[17:25] Crem
    That's right, you disgusting man! Coward!
[17:28] Kaz
    This cheater with a cursed sword
[17:30] Kaz
    who challenged a novice adventurer with
    weak gear to a match is the real coward!
[17:35] Crem
    Give back Gram!
[17:37] Crem
    Only Kyouya can use that cursed sword!
[17:39] Kaz
    Huh?
[17:40] Kaz
    For real?
[17:42] Aqua
    The Cursed Sword Gram is for
    this embarrassing guy's use alone.
[17:49] Kaz
    Well, I have it now, so I guess I'll keep it.
[17:51] Fio
    W-Wait just a second!
[17:53] Crem
    We won't accept the way you won!
[17:58] Kaz
    I'm an advocate of true gender equality,
[18:01] Kaz
    a guy who has no problem doling out
    a drop kick to a female opponent.
[18:06] Kaz
    Don't think I'll go easy on you.
[18:09] Kaz
    I'll unleash my Steal ability
    right here in public.
[18:13] Fio
    Huh?
[18:14] Crem
    Wh-Wha?
[18:19] Kaz
    So, what'll it be?
[18:25] Kaz
    Come on. Come on!
[18:31] Both
    No!
[18:36] Dark
    Nice!
[18:37] Kaz
    Uh, no...
[18:38] All
    KONOSUBA!
SIGN    The Next Day
[18:42] Aqua
    Why?!
[18:45] Dark
    That was Aqua's voice.
[18:47] Megu
    I wonder what happened.
[18:49] Kaz
    Is she never satisfied until
    she's caused a commotion?
[18:56] Aqua
    She said my reward this time,
[18:58] Aqua
    after deducting the cost of
    the broken cage, is 100,000 eris.
[19:02] Aqua
    The cage repair fee is 200,000 eris.
[19:05] Aqua
    I wasn't even the one who broke it...
[19:08] Aqua
    The next time I see that man,
[19:10] Aqua
    I'm going to nail him with God Blow for sure!
[19:13] Kyou
    I've been looking for you, Satou Kazuma!
[19:18] Kyou
    I heard about you from a certain thief girl.
[19:22] Kyou
    She said you're a demon
    who strips off panties!
[19:24] Kyou
    What's more, there also seem
    to be rumors that you're into
[19:27] Kyou
    getting girls covered in slime.
[19:29] Kyou
    They call you "Kazuma the Brute."
[19:31] Kaz
    Hey, wait! Tell me who's spreading that around!
[19:33] Kyou
    Aqua-sama,
[19:35] Kyou
    I swear that I will defeat the Devil King.
[19:38] Kyou
    So, please, party up with me—
[19:40] Aqua
    God Blow!
[19:47] Aqua
    Hey, you!
[19:49] Aqua
    Pay the repair fee for the cage you broke!
[19:51] Aqua
    It's 300,000! 300,000!
[19:53] Kyou
    Oh, uh, sure...
[19:55] Kaz
    Didn't she say 200,000 earlier?
[19:58] Aqua
    Excuse me!
[20:00] Aqua
    One drink and a stack of fried frog, please!
[20:06] Kyou
    I... I realize this request is asking too much...
[20:11] Kyou
    But, please, could you return
    the cursed sword to me?
[20:14] Kyou
    In exchange, I'll buy you the
    finest sword in the shop—
[20:19] Megu
    First,
[20:20] Megu
    there's the matter of the cursed sword
    no longer being in his possession.
[20:24] Kyou
    Huh?
[20:29] Kyou
    S-Satou Kazuma, where's the cursed sword?
[20:33] Kyou
    Wh-Wh-Where did my cursed sword go?
[20:36] Kaz
    I sold it.
[20:38] Kyou
    Damn it!
[20:41] Crem
    Kyouya!
[20:46] Kaz
    This money is meaningless.
[20:48] Dark
    What in the world was with that guy?
[20:51] Dark
    By the way,
[20:52] Dark
    he kept calling Aqua a goddess.
    What was that about?
[20:58] Kaz
    The time is right.
[21:00] Kaz
    It might be okay to tell Megumin and Darkness.
[21:04] Aqua
    I've kept this to myself until now,
[21:06] Aqua
    but I'll tell you.
[21:09] Aqua
    I am Aqua,
[21:10] Aqua
    the goddess who rules water,
    worshiped by the Religious Order of Axis.
[21:14] Aqua
    Yes, I am the goddess Aqua!
[21:17] Both
    Did you dream that?
[21:19] Aqua
    No!
[21:20] Luna
    Emergency! Emergency!
[21:22] Luna
    All adventurers, please arm yourselves at once
[21:25] Luna
    and gather at the front gate of the city!
[21:27] Luna
    Adventurer Satou Kazuma-san
    and his party in particular,
[21:30] Luna
    as quickly as possible, please!
[21:33] All
    Huh?
[21:44] Kaz
    Him again?
[21:47] Dul
    All of you...
[21:50] Dul
    Why haven't you come to the castle?!
[21:52] Dul
    You wretches!
[21:58] Kaz
    What?
SIGN    Mr. Satou Kazuma is growing noticeably stronger, and is progressing so well, he could defeat the Devil King as soon as tomorrow. This is entirely due to my supervisory talents. Mr. Kazuma, who was once a shut-in NEET, seems to be in constant awe of my shrewd coaching, which is gentle like a mother's, yet strict like a father's. Therefore, I would like to request permission to return home immediately... Huh? I can't? No!
SIGN    Episode 6
SIGN    A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight!

E6 - A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Dul
    Why haven't you come to the castle?!
[00:07] Dul
    You wretches!
[00:10] Kaz
    What?
[00:11] Kaz
    Why?
[00:12] Kaz
    We're not firing explosion
    magic at you anymore...
[00:15] Dul
    Not firing it at me, you say?
[00:17] Dul
    That's a barefaced lie!
[00:21] Dul
    That crazy crimson demon girl
[00:24] Dul
    is still coming to my castle every single day!
[00:27] Kaz
    Huh?!
[00:31] Kaz
    You?!
[00:31] Megu
    Ow!
[00:33] Megu
    That's not it! Please hear me out!
[00:36] Megu
    Until now, I've been able to settle for
    unleashing my magic on empty plains,
[00:41] Megu
    but since I learned the allure of using
    magic attacks on a castle, well...
[00:46] Megu
    Now I need something big and
    hard, or I just can't endure it.
[00:50] Kaz
    Don't say that while fidgeting!
[00:52] Kaz
    Besides, you can't move after
    unleashing your magic!
[00:55] Kaz
    Which means you must've had an accomplice...
[01:01] Kaz
    You?!
[01:03] Aqua
    Ow! Ow! Ow!
[01:04] Aqua
    I can't get any worthwhile quests because of him,
[01:07] Aqua
    so I wanted revenge!
[01:11] Dul
    Hear me, fools. My name is Verdia.
[01:15] Dul
    This isn't the only thing I'm deeply offended by.
[01:19] Dul
    Did you not have the backbone to
    seek retribution for your ally's death?!
[01:24] Dul
    I may be evil now, but in life,
    I strove to be an upstanding knight.
[01:27] Dul
    In my opinion,
[01:30] Dul
    allowing the death of that crusader,
    a model knight who
[01:33] Dul
    protected her ally and received
    my curse, to go to waste is simply—
[01:37] Dul
    What?
[01:42] Dark
    G-Gosh, um...
[01:45] Dark
    A model knight?
[01:47] Dul
    H-Huh?
[01:50] Dul
    What?!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 6
SIGN    "A Conclusion to This Worthless Fight!"
[03:23] Dul
    Huh? You're... alive?
[03:27] Aqua
    What's this?
[03:28] Aqua
    Was this dullahan waiting
    for us the whole time,
[03:31] Aqua
    with no idea that we easily dispelled
    his curse after he left?
[03:35] Aqua
    That's hilarious! Super hilarious!
[03:39] Dul
    I-If I felt like it, I could massacre
    every inhabitant of this city!
[03:40] Aqua
    That's so pathetic!
[03:45] Aqua
    You're awfully cocky for an undead!
[03:47] Dul
    Do you think a beginner
    adventurer's magic can—
[03:49] Aqua
    Turn Undead!
[04:01] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma, this isn't right! It's not working!
[04:04] Kaz
    No, it looked pretty effective to me.
[04:06] Kaz
    He went "Gah!" and all.
[04:09] Dul
    Are you really a beginner?
[04:14] Dul
    Isn't this city a gathering
    place for beginners?
[04:18] Dul
    F-Fine, then.
[04:20] Dul
    There's no need for me to fight you myself.
[04:25] Dul
    Undead Knights!
[04:27] Dul
    Show this lot a glimpse of Hell!
[04:30] Kaz
    I bet he's freaked out because your magic
    was more effective than he expected.
[04:35] Dul
    Th-That's not it!
[04:37] Dul
    Why should the boss be the one you fight first?
[04:40] Dul
    You start with the small fry—
[04:41] Aqua
    Sacred Turn Undead!
[04:48] Dul
    M-My eyes! My eyes!
[04:50] Aqua
    Wh-What should we do, Kazuma?
[04:53] Aqua
    My purification magic isn't affecting him at all!
[04:55] Kaz
    He did go "Yah!" and all.
    I think it was very effective.
[05:02] Ful
    That's enough!
[05:04] Ful
    Slaughter everyone in the city!
[05:10] A
    Call a priest!
[05:11] B
    Someone go to the church and bring
    back all the holy water they've got!
[05:16] Dul
    Now, let me hear your screams of despair!
[05:24] Kaz
    Hey!
[05:26] Aqua
    Why are they all targeting me?! I'm a goddess!
[05:29] Aqua
    I've been a good girl every day, too!
[05:31] Dark
    No fair!
[05:33] Dark
    I've been a really good
    girl every day, so why?!
[05:37] Kaz
    Maybe the lost undead are instinctively
    seeking salvation from a goddess?
[05:43] Kaz
    Megumin! Can't you nail that swarm
    of undead with explosion magic?
[05:47] Megu
    But when they're all scattered like that...
[05:51] Aqua
    Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san!
[05:59] Kaz
    You idiot! Don't come this way!
[06:01] Kaz
    If you go the other way,
    I'll treat you to dinner tonight!
[06:04] Aqua
    I'll treat you if you do something!
[06:07] Aqua
    I can't get rid of them, no matter
    how many times I use Turn Undead!
[06:11] Kaz
    Damn, there are too many of them!
[06:14] Kaz
    Wait a second.
[06:15] Kaz
    Megumin, ready your magic and stand by!
[06:18] Megu
    R-Roger!
[06:20] Kaz
    Aqua! Follow me!
[06:23] Aqua
    What for?!
[06:26] Kaz
    Megumin!
[06:28] Kaz
    Now!
[06:30] Megu
    What an ideal situation!
[06:32] Megu
    I'm grateful! I'm deeply grateful, Kazuma!
[06:38] Megu
    My name is Megumin!
[06:41] Megu
    I am a user of the finest magic
    crimson demons possess,
[06:44] Megu
    and I command explosion magic.
[06:46] Megu
    Behold my power!
[06:50] Megu
    Explosion!
[07:07] Megu
    It appears every last person
    here has been left speechless
[07:10] Megu
    after witnessing my explosion magic.
[07:15] Megu
    That felt amazing...
[07:20] Kaz
    Need me to carry you?
[07:22] Megu
    P-Please.
[07:27] A
    She did it! The crazy crimson demon girl did it!
[07:30] B
    She's crazy in the head, and so is her name,
    but she pulls through when it counts!
[07:34] C
    I see you in a new light, crazy girl!
[07:37] Megu
    Grr.
[07:38] Megu
    I'm sorry.
[07:39] Megu
    Please remember those people's faces for me.
[07:42] Megu
    I'll blow them all away later.
[07:47] Dul
    Amusing...
[07:52] Dul
    Amusing! Very amusing!
[07:55] Dul
    I didn't think you'd actually
    annihilate my underlings!
[07:58] Dul
    All right, then, as promised...
[08:01] Dark
    Kazuma!
[08:04] Dul
    I shall personally take all of you on!
[08:08] Kaz
    Megumin is out of magic power.
[08:10] Kaz
    Aqua's magic isn't enough
    to deliver a fatal blow.
[08:13] Kaz
    What do we do?
[08:14] Se
    No need to fear!
[08:15] Se
    The city's ace in the hole will be here soon!
[08:18] He
    Yeah! It doesn't matter if he was a
    leader in the Devil King's army or not!
[08:22] Kaz
    The city's ace in the hole?
[08:24] Ga
    We can create a blind spot
    if we all attack at once.
[08:26] Ga
    Get him, everyone!
[08:31] Dul
    It appears you wish to die first.
[08:38] Kaz
    Stop!
[08:39] Kaz
    Don't go!
[09:02] Dul
    Who's next?
[09:04] Mag
    Wh-When Mitsurugi-san gets here,
    he'll slay you in a single blow!
[09:09] Kaz
    Mitsurugi?
[09:11] Kaz
    Mitsurugi is...
[09:16] Kaz
    The guy whose sword I stole and sold...
[09:26] Dul
    Then, until he arrives...
[09:28] Kaz
    This is bad. Seriously bad!
[09:31] Dul
    Do you think you can hold out?!
[09:41] Dark
    How dare you?
[09:43] Dark
    How dare you do that to them?!
[09:45] Kaz
    Stop, Darkness! Your sword
    is no match for him!
[09:47] Dark
    As one whose calling is to protect others,
[09:50] Dark
    there are some matters I cannot concede!
[09:55] Dark
    I-I'm sure
[09:57] Dark
    you intend to use those strong
    arms of yours to lewdly torture
[10:01] Dark
    and make an example of
    me in front of everyone!
[10:04] Dark
    Try it if you think you can!
[10:06] Dark
    In fact, show me what you've got!
[10:08] Dul
    Enough of the weird delusions!
[10:10] Dul
    They'll get the wrong idea about me!
[10:13] Dark
    You're on, Verdia!
[10:16] Dul
    It's inevitable that a holy knight
    would be my opponent!
[10:33] Dul
    Huh?
[10:36] Kaz
    Oh, come on, now!
[10:37] Kaz
    You even miss stationary
    targets? How embarrassing!
[10:41] Kaz
    This girl is my ally!
[10:43] Dul
    What a disappointment.
[10:46] Dul
    That's enough!
[10:50] Kaz
    Darkness!
[11:01] Kaz
    Darkness, stand down!
[11:02] Dark
    A crusader
[11:04] Dark
    can't stand down when protecting
    someone behind them!
[11:08] Dark
    That is absolute!
[11:10] Dark
    B-Besides...
[11:12] Dark
    Besides, this dullahan is the
    shrewd man I thought he was!
[11:16] Kaz
    What?
[11:18] Dark
    He's been shaving away at my armor
[11:21] Dark
    a little at a time for a while now.
[11:23] Dark
    Instead of stripping me nude,
[11:25] Dark
    he's left only parts of my armor intact,
[11:27] Dark
    leaving me in an even more provocative state
    than nakedness to publicly shame me!
[11:33] Dul
    Huh?
[11:34] Dark
    Bring it on!
[11:35] Dark
    Is this all there is to a shaming
    by the Devil King's army?!
[11:38] Dark
    Hit me some more! Now!
[11:41] Dul
    Huh?!
[11:42] Kaz
    At least consider the time and place!
[11:44] Kaz
    You freaking hardcore pervert!
[11:46] Dark
    Hardcore pervert?
[11:50] Dark
    Y-You should consider the time
    and place yourself, Kazuma!
[11:53] Dark
    Taking a beating from a monster in public
    is already taking everything I've got...
[12:00] Dark
    What in the world are you and
    this dullahan trying to do to me?!
[12:05] Dul
    I'm not doing anything!
[12:06] Kaz
    I'm not doing anything!
[12:08] Kaz
    Oh, well. You bought me some time.
[12:12] Kaz
    Create Water!
[12:20] Dark
    I don't dislike being treated this
    way without warning, but...
[12:25] Dark
    Consider the time and place.
[12:26] Kaz
    Th-That's not it! This isn't
    some weird foreplay!
[12:29] Kaz
    I'm doing this! Freeze!
[12:33] Dul
    I messed up!
[12:35] Kaz
    As long as it's harder for you
    to dodge, that's enough.
[12:37] Kaz
    This is what I was really going for!
[12:39] Kaz
    Steal!
[12:46] Dul
    That wasn't a bad trick.
[12:48] Kaz
    Wha—
[12:49] Dul
    This just shows our difference in level.
[12:52] Dul
    Now, then, I'll put an end to this farce.
[12:58] Dark
    Kazuma!
[13:02] Kaz
    Darkness!
[13:08] Kaz
    Remember! Our opponent is a dullahan.
[13:10] Kaz
    What would his weakness have been in an RPG?
[13:14] Kaz
    Watch him closely!
[13:16] Kaz
    How was he able to dodge my water so adeptly?
[13:20] Kaz
    A dullahan's weak point is...
[13:21] Kaz
    An undead monster's weak point is...
[13:29] Dul
    As a former knight, I give
    my thanks to the Devil King
[13:33] Dul
    and the false gods for this chance
    to have a bout with you.
[13:36] Dul
    This is farewell, heroic yet foolish crusader!
[13:41] Kaz
    Create Water!
[13:45] Dul
    What are you trying to do, boy?!
[13:48] Kaz
    It's water!
[13:50] Mag
    Create Water!
[13:52] Dul
    Stop those attacks!
[13:54] Mag
    Create Water!
[13:56] Mag2
    Create Water!
[14:00] Dul
    C-Curse you all!
[14:01] Kaz
    Hit him! Hit him! Damn!
[14:04] Kaz
    I'm going to run out of magic!
[14:05] Aqua
    Hey, what's all the commotion?
[14:07] Aqua
    What sort of game are you playing?
[14:10] Aqua
    Are you an idiot?
[14:11] Kaz
    Damn her!
[14:13] Kaz
    His weakness is water!
[14:14] Kaz
    Even a lame goddess like you must
    be able to use one water spell!
[14:18] Aqua
    It's about time I punished you,
    you insolent jerk!
[14:21] Aqua
    I can use flood-class water magic.
[14:23] Kaz
    You can?!
[14:24] Aqua
    Apologize!
[14:26] Aqua
    Apologize for calling a water
    goddess a "lame goddess"!
[14:30] Kaz
    I'll apologize all you want later!
[14:32] Kaz
    Hurry up and do it, you useless goddess!
[14:35] Aqua
    You just called me a useless goddess!
[14:37] Aqua
    Just you watch.
[14:39] Aqua
    I'll show you what a goddess can do!
[14:43] Aqua
    All my followers in this world,
[14:46] Aqua
    the water goddess Aqua commands you.
[14:48] Kaz
    Huh?
[14:51] Dul
    This is...
[14:52] Aqua
    Answer my request, my prayer,
[14:55] Aqua
    and show the world thy power!
[14:57] Dul
    Oh, no!
[15:01] Dul
    L-Let go! You perverted knight!
[15:03] Dark
    How abusive...
[15:06] Aqua
    Sacred Create Water!
[15:14] Dul
    It's water!
[15:17] Kaz
    That's enough! Enough, I said!
[15:39] Dul
    What are you thinking?
[15:41] Dul
    Are you an idiot?
[15:42] Dul
    Are you a complete imbecile?!
[15:45] Aqua
    Now's your chance, Kazuma!
[15:47] Kaz
    This time, I'll steal your weapon for sure!
[15:50] Dul
    I may be weakened,
[15:52] Dul
    but a beginner adventurer's Steal
[15:54] Dul
    will never take possession of my weapon!
[15:58] Dul
    I'll end this once and for all!
[16:02] Kaz
    Steal!
[16:12] Dul
    U-Um... Well...
[16:21] Kaz
    Hey, you guys! Let's play soccer!
[16:24] Dul
    Soccer?
[16:25] Kaz
    Soccer is...
[16:28] Kaz
    A game where you handle the ball
    with only your feet, not your hands!
[16:32] A
    Only your feet?
[16:33] Dul
    Whoa! Hey, s-stop it!
[16:36] Dul
    Help, help! Stop! Hey, ow! Stop it!
[16:41] Dark
    We should be all right,
    now that he's so weakened.
[16:43] Dark
    Give him a proper send-off.
[16:46] Kaz
    Yeah. Aqua!
[16:48] Aqua
    Leave it to me!
[16:49] Kaz
    Do it.
[16:57] Aqua
    Sacred Turn Undead!
[17:03] Dul
    Hey, wait!
[17:27] Megu
    Oh?
[17:28] Megu
    Darkness, what are you doing?
[17:32] Dark
    Saying a prayer.
[17:36] Dark
    Sedol, the huge liar who said
    I was brawny in my armor...
[17:42] Dark
    Heinz, who teased me, saying,
    "Fan me with that huge sword of yours!
[17:45] Dark
    You can hit me with it if you
    want, but only if you can!"
[17:50] Dark
    And Galil,
[17:51] Dark
    who let me into his party
    for only a single day,
[17:54] Dark
    and screamed at me, saying, "Why are you
    charging into the swarm of monsters?"
[18:00] Dark
    They were all slain by that dullahan.
[18:04] Dark
    If I could see them once more,
[18:07] Dark
    I'd love to have a drink with them.
[18:10] All
    H-Hey...
[18:15] He
    It actually bothers you that
    your sword always misses?
[18:18] He
    Um, I-I'm sorry.
[18:21] He
    I'll treat you later.
[18:23] Dark
    Huh?
[18:24] Dark
    You're alive?
[18:29] Aqua
    For someone as great as me,
[18:30] Aqua
    reviving newly-fallen adventurers
    is a piece of cake!
[18:31] (Flashback) Aqua
    Resurrection! Resurrection!
[18:33] (Flashback) Aqua
    Resurrection!
[18:35] Aqua
    Now you can have that drink together!
[18:38] E
    I see. Darkness-san has a lot
    to deal with, doesn't she?
[18:41] A
    Shh! She'll hear you.
[18:43] Dark
    I want to die...
[18:44] Kaz
    Don't hold back.
[18:46] Kaz
    We'll keep criticizing her like
    this for three days or so.
[18:49] Dark
    Th-This isn't the type of shameful abuse I wanted!
SIGN    Emergency Quest
SIGN    Emergency Quest
SIGN    Kill the Dullahan!
SIGN    Quest Clear!!
[19:01] All
    KO-NO-SU-BA!
SIGN    The Next Day
[19:07] Kaz
    Things somehow worked out this time,
[19:10] Kaz
    but I think I'll lead a leisurely life,
    without danger, from now on.
[19:15] Megu
    I've been waiting for you, Kazuma!
[19:17] Megu
    Listen to this!
[19:18] Megu
    Darkness is being super stingy and
    telling me I'm too young to have any!
[19:22] Dark
    No, wait, that isn't what I...
[19:24] Aqua
    You're late!
[19:28] Kaz
    She's drunk already!
[19:30] Luna
    Oh, Kazuma-san, I've been waiting for you.
[19:33] Luna
    Actually, I have a special
    reward for you and your party.
[19:38] Kaz
    Huh? Really?
[19:42] Kaz
    Um, why only us?
[19:44] Ruff
    Who knew you'd defeat a
    leader of the Devil King's army?
[19:47] Ruff
    I believed in the radiance
    within you from the very start.
[19:52] Kaz
    The radiance within me?
[19:54] Ruff
    A light that shines on the gates of Hell...
[19:57] Ruff
    There may have been an old legend like that.
[19:59] B
    That's right! If you weren't here,
[20:02] B
    we never would have defeated the dullahan!
[20:04] Adv
    Kazuma! Kazuma!
[20:07] Adv
    Kazuma! Kazuma!
[20:10] Adv
    Kazuma! Kazuma!
[20:11] Kaz
    I'm not really used to this, but it's pretty nice.
[20:15] Luna
    Ahem!
[20:16] Luna
    In recognition of Satou Kazuma-san's
    party's achievement,
[20:20] Luna
    I award you 300 million eris.
[20:23] All
    Th-Three hundred million?!
[20:25] B
    Treat me, Kazuma!
[20:27] E
    Kazuma-sama, treat me, treat me!
[20:29] Kaz
    Group meeting!
[20:31] Kaz
    I have something to tell all of you.
[20:33] Aqua
    We won thanks to my abilities,
    so we should go 90/10.
[20:36] Kaz
    Now that we've acquired great wealth,
[20:38] Kaz
    I'm going to live a safe and leisurely life.
[20:41] Dark
    Wait!
[20:42] Kaz
    I won't wait!
[20:43] Dark
    It's a big problem for me if I can't
    fight strong enemies anymore!
[20:45] Kaz
    It's not a problem!
[20:45] Megu
    It bothers me, too.
[20:47] Megu
    I'm going to join you, defeat the Devil King,
[20:50] Megu
    and earn the title of strongest magician.
[20:52] Kaz
    You won't earn it!
[20:52] Aqua
    You're going to go back
    to being a shut-in NEET?
[20:54] Kaz
    I'm not going to, because I'm not a NEET!
[20:56] Aqua
    I won't be able to go home!
[20:58] Kaz
    I've already made up my mind!
[20:59] Aqua
    Huh?
[21:00] Kaz
    Don't "huh" me, you useless goddess!
[21:00] Luna
    Um, Kazuma-san...
[21:01] Aqua
    "Useless goddess"—
[21:04] Aqua
    Is it a check? It's a check, right?
[21:07] Luna
    Actually,
[21:09] Luna
    the flood of water Aqua-san summoned
[21:12] Luna
    caused substantial damage to the outer walls...
[21:16] Luna
    Of course, defeating a leader of the
    Devil King's army is a big accomplishment,
[21:19] Luna
    so I won't insist you pay back the full sum.
[21:21] Luna
    I just ask that you pay a portion...
[21:24] Aqua
    Sneak away...
[21:24] Kaz
    Wait.
[21:26] Dark
    The reward is 300 million,
[21:28] Dark
    and the cost of compensation is 340 million, huh?
[21:31] Megu
    Our bloody journey of magic
[21:34] Megu
    has only just begun.
[21:36] Dark
    Let's go on a quest to take out a
    profitable, strong enemy tomorrow.
[21:39] Aqua
    W-We can split the debt into equal parts...
[21:44] Kaz
    Am I going to spend my entire life
[21:46] Kaz
    in this irrational world
    with these hopeless allies?
[21:50] Kaz
    I gently closed my eyes,
[21:52] Kaz
    and firmly decided I would kill the Devil King,
[21:55] Kaz
    in order to escape from this
    good-for-nothing world.
SIGN    My name is Megumin. I leave this record to pass down tales of my great exploits to future generations. The mighty magic power of the extraordinary magician Megumin made the Devil King's army tremble in fear. The people she has saved revered her from the bottoms of their hearts, and all the children were entranced by her. There was a flood of fans waiting for her at the guild, enough that she could have handed out numbered tickets. -Written Preface of the Great Magician
SIGN    Episode 7
SIGN    A Second Death in This Freezing Season!

E7 - A Second Death in This Freezing Season!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:09] Kaz
    Where am I?
[00:13] Kaz
    Oh, did I die again?
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 7
SIGN    "A Second Death in This Freezing Season!"
[01:53] Kaz
    After the battle with Verdia,
    a leader in the Devil King's army,
[01:56] Kaz
    the season turned to winter.
[01:58] Kaz
    That day, I groaned wholeheartedly,
    as if I were coughing up blood:
[02:04] Kaz
    I want money!
[02:06] Aqua
    Huh? Everyone wants that, obviously!
[02:10] Aqua
    Anyway, you're entirely too unresourceful.
[02:12] Aqua
    You make a goddess like myself
    sleep in a stable every single night!
[02:16] Aqua
    Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
[02:19] Aqua
    If you understand that,
    then give me more luxury.
[02:22] Aqua
    Spoil me more!
[02:25] Kaz
    Do you not get why I want more money?
[02:29] Aqua
    Huh?
[02:30] Kaz
    Debt!
[02:33] Kaz
    Thanks to the debt you've racked up,
[02:35] Kaz
    most of the reward money we earn
[02:38] Kaz
    from every quest we do is
    deducted to repay those debts!
[02:41] Kaz
    Just this morning... Just this morning,
[02:43] Kaz
    when I awoke in the straw of the stable,
    my eyelashes were frozen solid!
[02:48] Kaz
    If I keep sleeping in that stable,
    I'm going to freeze to death for sure!
[02:54] Aqua
    I can't help it!
[02:56] Aqua
    This city may have perished
    in that battle with Verdia,
[02:59] Aqua
    if not for my super astounding efforts!
[03:02] Aqua
    You should exalt me more!
[03:04] Aqua
    All of you should praise me,
    praise me, and spoil me rotten!
[03:07] Kaz
    You attention whore!
[03:09] Kaz
    If your feats were that astounding,
[03:12] Kaz
    then the rewards, accolades,
    and debt are all yours!
[03:16] Kaz
    Pay off your debts on your own.
[03:19] Aqua
    Wait! I'm sorry!
[03:21] Aqua
    I apologize for getting carried
    away, so don't abandon me!
[03:25] Dark
    Why all the fuss so early in the morning?
[03:27] Megu
    Do we have some nice job lined up?
[03:30] Kaz
    No, we haven't started looking for work yet.
[03:33] Kaz
    Given the situation and all...
[03:37] C
    What'll we do today?
[03:38] D
    I'm sleeping at the inn. It's cold!
[03:41] Megu
    The reward for fighting off a
    leader in the Devil King's army
[03:44] Megu
    was distributed to every
    adventurer who participated.
[03:48] Megu
    There's no reason for anyone to go
    hunting dangerous winter monsters
[03:51] Megu
    when their coin pouches are full.
[03:53] Megu
    I gladly welcome it, personally.
[03:56] Dark
    S-So do I.
[03:58] Dark
    The stronger the enemy, the better.
[04:00] All
    KO-NO-SU-BA!
[04:06] Kaz
    The reward is well and good, but there
    seriously aren't any decent quests...
[04:09] Dark
    Kazuma, Kazuma!
[04:10] Kaz
    I'm Kazuma.
[04:11] Dark
    How about this?
[04:13] Dark
    A kill quest for a pack of White Wolves.
    The reward is a million eris!
[04:17] Dark
    Just imagining a pack of wild
    beasts making a mess of me...
[04:23] Kaz
    Nope.
[04:24] Megu
    Kazuma, Kazuma!
[04:25] Kaz
    Yes, I'm Kazuma.
[04:26] Megu
    How about this?
[04:28] Megu
    A kill quest for a One-Shot Bear!
[04:31] Megu
    Now is the time for me to
    teach it which of us has
[04:35] Megu
    the stronger one-shot attack
    with my explosion magic!
[04:38] Kaz
    I want nothing to do with a monster
    with such a dangerous-sounding name.
[04:41] Kaz
    I bet we'd die instantly if it
    so much as grazed our necks.
[04:46] Kaz
    "The mobile fortress 'Destroyer' is approaching,
[04:49] Kaz
    so we are recruiting scouts to
    predict the route it will take."
[04:52] Kaz
    What is this? What's a "Destroyer"?
[04:56] Dark
    The Destroyer is the Destroyer.
[04:58] Dark
    It's a massive fortress
    that moves at high speed.
[05:01] Megu
    It lumbers around, trampling everything.
[05:04] Megu
    It's oddly popular with children.
[05:06] Kaz
    I see. I don't get it.
[05:09] Kaz
    Let's see. What's this?
[05:13] Kaz
    A Snow Sprite kill quest?
[05:15] Kaz
    Hey, what are Snow Sprites?
[05:18] Kaz
    They don't sound all that
    strong, based on the name,
[05:22] Kaz
    but it says the reward is 100,000 eris each.
[05:24] Megu
    There are lots of Snow
    Sprites in the snowy plains.
[05:27] Megu
    It's said that spring will come half a
    day sooner for every one you kill.
[05:31] Kaz
    Wow.
[05:31] Megu
    They're very weak monsters,
    so they're easily defeated, but...
[05:34] Aqua
    If we're accepting that
    quest, I'll go get ready!
[05:37] Kaz
    Hey, wait.
[05:39] Kaz
    You're laughing?
[05:40] Dark
    Snow Sprites, huh?
[05:43] Kaz
    Why does this masochistic crusader,
    who always wants to fight strong monsters,
[05:49] Kaz
    look so happy?
[05:52] Kaz
    Still, money takes priority right now!
[06:00] Kaz
    These are Snow Sprites?
[06:02] Kaz
    Hey, can't you do something
    about that outfit?
[06:06] Kaz
    You look like some dumb kid going
    cicada-catching in the middle of winter.
[06:09] Aqua
    I can catch Snow Sprites
    with this, and bottle them up.
[06:13] Aqua
    I had the idea that if we mix
    them in with our drinks,
[06:17] Aqua
    we can have ice-cold drinks whenever we want!
[06:20] Aqua
    Well? Aren't I smart?!
[06:22] Kaz
    I can see how this is going to play out...
[06:25] Kaz
    Darkness, what happened to your armor?
[06:27] Kaz
    Are you going to be all right in that gear?
[06:31] Dark
    No problem.
[06:33] Dark
    I'm a little cold, but that in itself is...
[06:39] Kaz
    I guess a pervert with steamy thoughts
    has a high body temperature to match.
SIGN    Kill Quest
SIGN    Kill the Snow Sprites!
[06:53] Kaz
    Number three, wait!
[06:57] Kaz
    Damn! It's darting all over!
[07:00] Aqua
    There!
[07:01] Aqua
    I caught my fourth one! Kazuma, look here!
[07:05] Aqua
    I caught a bunch!
[07:08] Kaz
    If my kill count comes out too low,
[07:11] Kaz
    I'll kill the Snow Sprites she caught, too.
[07:15] Kaz
    Now!
[07:20] Megu
    Kazuma!
[07:20] Kaz
    What?
[07:21] Megu
    Can I blow away all the ones in
    the area with explosion magic?
[07:24] Kaz
    All right! Wipe them all out!
[07:26] Megu
    Roger!
[07:29] Megu
    By my efflux of deep crimson,
[07:31] Megu
    topple this white world!
[07:36] Megu
    Explosion!
[08:04] Kaz
    Hey, are you all right?
[08:08] Megu
    I got eight of them.
[08:10] Megu
    That makes nine defeated Snow Sprites total.
[08:13] Megu
    I even went up a level.
[08:16] Kaz
    Oh, nice going!
[08:17] Kaz
    It would've been a little cooler if you
    weren't buried in the snow, though.
[08:22] Kaz
    What the heck?
[08:23] Kaz
    Killing Snow Sprites is totally delectable!
[08:28] Kaz
    Why doesn't everybody do this?
[08:31] Dark
    There it is!
[08:32] kaz
    Huh?
[08:38] Kaz
    Wh-What is that?!
[08:39] Dark
    So exciting...
[08:42] Kaz
    Sh-She's playing dead...
[08:44] Aqua
    Kazuma!
[08:46] Aqua
    I'll tell you why adventurers don't
    accept Snow Sprite kill quests.
[08:51] Kaz
    Huh?
[08:53] Aqua
    You lived in Japan,
[08:56] Aqua
    so I'm sure you've at least heard the name
    in the news and weather forecasts.
[08:59] Aqua
    He's the Snow Sprites' master,
[09:02] Aqua
    and is also said to evoke the image of winter...
[09:05] Aqua
    Yes,
[09:07] Aqua
    the Winter Shogun has arrived!
[09:13] Dark
    Th-The Winter Shogun!
[09:15] Dark
    One of the specially designated monsters
[09:18] Dark
    the country has put a huge bounty on!
[09:20] Kaz
    Huh?!
[09:22] Dark
    I'm sure this monster plans
    to use his position as shogun
[09:25] Dark
    to have his way with me.
[09:28] Dark
    I'll resist him,
[09:30] Dark
    but he will likely be beyond my
    capabilities, and I'll be shamed...
[09:34] Kaz
    Stupid!
[09:36] Kaz
    Everything in this good-for-nothing world,
    the people, the food, and the monsters,
[09:39] Kaz
    are all absolutely stupid!
[09:57] Dark
    M-My sword!
[10:05] Aqua
    Sprites pick up the subconscious
    thoughts of the people they encounter
[10:09] Aqua
    and take their form.
[10:11] Aqua
    But the only ones strolling
    around outside town
[10:14] Aqua
    in winter are mostly just cheat-users
    who came here from Japan.
[10:18] Kaz
    So this guy was brought to life by some
    idiot who came here from Japan,
[10:21] Kaz
    whose train of thought associated
    winter with the Winter Shogun?!
[10:25] Kaz
    Talk about a pain in the ass!
[10:29] Kaz
    When this is over, I'm gonna step on the girl
    who's been playing dead this whole time.
[10:34] Aqua
    Kazuma!
[10:35] Kaz
    What is it?!
[10:36] Aqua
    The Winter Shogun is generous.
[10:38] Aqua
    If we politely apologize, he'll overlook this!
[10:49] Aqua
    Prostrate yourself!
    Prostrate yourself before him!
[10:51] Aqua
    Come on, everyone, toss your
    weapons aside and bow down!
[10:54] Aqua
    Apologize! You hurry up
    and apologize too, Kazuma!
[10:59] Kaz
    The former-something-or-other who appears
    to have abandoned all of her pride
[11:03] Kaz
    prostrated herself quite
    magnificently, indeed.
[11:08] Kaz
    Hey, hurry and bow your head, too!
[11:11] Dark
    There may be nobody watching,
[11:12] Dark
    but a knight such as myself would
    never bow her head to a monster.
[11:17] Kaz
    You try to go off with monsters
    willingly all the time!
[11:20] Kaz
    Don't show off your pointless
    pride only at times like these!
[11:24] Dark
    S-Stop it!
[11:26] Dark
    You're forcing me to bow my
    head when I don't want to,
[11:29] Dark
    and shoving my face into the ground!
[11:31] Kaz
    Huh?
[11:33] Dark
    What a reward!
[11:36] Dark
    The snow is so cold...
[11:38] Aqua
    Kazuma!
[11:40] Aqua
    Your weapon, your weapon!
[11:41] Aqua
    Hurry and throw down the
    sword you're holding!
[11:55] Kaz
    That's right.
[11:56] Kaz
    I was killed by the Winter Shogun.
[12:00] Eris
    Satou Kazuma-san.
[12:03] Eris
    Welcome to the afterlife.
[12:06] Eris
    I am Eris, the goddess who will
    lead you down a new path.
[12:12] Eris
    Your life in this world is now over.
[12:20] Kaz
    This feels familiar.
[12:24] Kaz
    Is this how it was when I met Aqua, too?
[12:29] kaz
    Are you a goddess of this world?
[12:32] Eris
    Yes. Satou Kazuma-san,
[12:35] Eris
    you came all the way from
    peaceful Japan to this world,
[12:39] Eris
    only for this to happen to you...
[12:42] Kaz
    What's with this goddess?
[12:44] Kaz
    Is she sincerely mourning my death?
[12:47] Kaz
    She's not like that useless goddess!
[12:50] Eris
    Brave hero who came from a parallel world...
[12:52] Kaz
    Y-Yes?
[12:54] Eris
    With my power,
[12:56] Eris
    I shall have you reincarnated in
    peaceful Japan, to an affluent family,
[12:59] Eris
    and will make sure you
    lead a life of comfort.
[13:03] Kaz
    Huh? You can do that?
[13:06] Eris
    If you wish it.
[13:08] Kaz
    Seriously?!
[13:10] Kaz
    I-If possible, I'd like
[13:12] Kaz
    above-average parameters in
    charm, wisdom, and strength,
[13:14] Kaz
    and I'd be even happier in a life where
    a beautiful girl is my childhood friend!
[13:18] Eris
    Um, that is more than I can...
[13:21] Kaz
    Wow, thank goodness!
[13:23] Kaz
    I thought it was all over,
[13:25] Kaz
    but now it feels like I pulled
    through by the skin of my teeth.
[13:28] Kaz
    This is a reward for trying my hardest, right?
[13:32] Kaz
    Because my life up to now had been so awful!
[13:35] Eris
    Yes.
[13:36] Eris
    I looked in on your life
    from time to time myself.
[13:40] Eris
    I believe your days were
    filled with adversity.
[13:43] Kaz
    You said it!
[13:45] Kaz
    I reincarnated thinking I'd get to go on
    a thrilling adventure, like in a game.
[13:50] Kaz
    This is like a misleading promo video, isn't it?
[13:54] Kaz
    The useless goddess who came
    with me as a reincarnation perk
[13:56] Kaz
    was just an arrogant good-for-nothing.
[13:59] Kaz
    We recruited allies,
[14:01] Kaz
    but the only ones who turned up were a crazy
[14:03] Kaz
    explosion girl who fell flat
    every time she used magic,
[14:05] Kaz
    and a masochistic,
[14:07] Kaz
    perverted crusader whose attacks always missed.
[14:10] Kaz
    I was an adventurer,
[14:12] Kaz
    but I did construction, side jobs,
    and was forced into cabbage hunting.
[14:16] Kaz
    I was in debt deep enough to sell an
    organ after defeating a boss enemy.
[14:21] Kaz
    Sleeping in the stables didn't restore my
    strength, it only froze me nearly to death.
[14:27] Kaz
    Do you know how it feels to have your
    eyelashes frozen solid every morning?
[14:31] Kaz
    The previous world's game balance
    was beyond terrible, if you ask me.
[14:45] Kaz
    H-Huh?
[14:51] Kaz
    Why?
[14:53] Eris
    After you've been reborn,
[14:56] Eris
    may you be blessed once
    more with kind encounters.
[15:06] Kaz
    I see.
[15:08] Kaz
    It appears
[15:10] Kaz
    I was unexpectedly fond of
    that good-for-nothing world
[15:15] Kaz
    that I thought I hated...
[15:18] Kaz
    I wanted to adventure with
    those girls a little longer.
[15:24] Aqua
    Now, return to us, Kazuma!
[15:26] Kaz
    Huh?!
[15:27] Aqua
    How could you get killed off so easily?
[15:29] Aqua
    It's too soon for you to die!
[15:31] Kaz
    Wh-What?!
[15:32] Eris
    Th-This voice... Aqua-senpai?!
[15:35] Eris
    Is it really you?!
[15:36] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma, can you hear me?
[15:38] Aqua
    I cast recovery magic on your body,
[15:41] Aqua
    so you can come back to this side now.
[15:43] Kaz
    Oh, for real?!
[15:45] Eris
    P-Please wait a moment!
[15:47] Eris
    You've been reborn once already,
    so according to the laws of Heaven,
[15:50] Eris
    you can't be revived again!
[15:53] Kaz
    Is that true?
[15:54] Kaz
    Aqua!
[15:55] Kaz
    She says that according to the
    laws of Heaven or whatever,
[15:59] Kaz
    I can't be revived again since
    I've been reborn once before!
[16:02] Aqua
    Huh? What goddess is spouting that nonsense?
[16:06] Aqua
    Hey, you! Identify yourself!
[16:08] Aqua
    Where does a goddess in charge of a
    backwater like this get off talking to me,
[16:12] Aqua
    an elite in charge of Japan, that way?!
[16:15] Kaz
    Hey, knock it off!
[16:16] Kaz
    The face of the goddess in charge
    of that backwater is twitching now!
[16:21] Eris
    Um,
[16:22] Eris
    she's a goddess called "Eris"...
[16:24] Aqua
    Eris?!
[16:26] Aqua
    The overrated Eris who's grown cocky
    and even became a unit of currency,
[16:29] Aqua
    just because she's worshiped a little
    in the established religion of this world?
[16:33] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma!
[16:34] Kaz
    Yes?
[16:34] Aqua
    If Eris gives you any more trouble,
[16:37] Aqua
    I'll confiscate her breast pads—
[16:38] Eris
    I-I understand!
[16:39] Kaz
    Pads?
[16:39] Eris
    An exception! I'll deem this an exception!
[16:41] Eris
    I'll open the gate right now!
[16:43] Kaz
    They're pads?
[16:44] Eris
    My goodness,
[16:45] Eris
    Aqua-senpai is as unreasonable as ever.
[16:46] Kaz
    They're really pads?!
[16:48] Eris
    KONOSUBA!
[16:49] Kaz
    I don't mind if they're pads.
[16:53] Eris
    You have now been connected
    to the living world.
[16:55] Eris
    This normally never happens, you know.
[17:00] Eris
    You are called Kazuma-san, correct?
[17:02] Kaz
    Huh? Oh, uh, yes!
[17:09] Eris
    This is our little secret, okay?
[17:31] Megu
    ...zuma! Kazuma, please wake up!
[17:34] Megu
    Kazuma!
[17:38] Aqua
    Oh, you're finally awake?
[17:40] Aqua
    Sheesh, that girl's so hard-headed.
[17:43] Both
    Kazuma!
[17:46] Kaz
    Th-This is kind of extremely embarrassing.
[17:50] Aqua
    Hey, come on, Kazuma.
[17:52] Aqua
    What're you blushing for? Say something!
[17:57] Aqua
    I brought you back to life, you know.
[18:00] Aqua
    Don't you have something to say?
[18:02] Aqua
    Come on.
[18:04] Kaz
    I want to trade this useless goddess
    for that cute goddess from earlier.
[18:09] Aqua
    Say something.
[18:11] Aqua
    Like words of gratitude, or an apology
    for how you've treated such a
[18:14] Aqua
    high-class goddess with such
    contempt all this time...
[18:17] Kaz
    Goddess change!
[18:19] Aqua
    Fine, you damn NEET!
[18:22] Aqua
    Why don't I send you to
    meet Eris right away, then?!
[18:27] Dark
    N-Now, now, calm down, Aqua!
[18:30] Megu
    How do you feel?
[18:32] Megu
    Do you feel strange in any way?
[18:35] Kaz
    It looks like I'm all right for now.
[18:38] Megu
    You are?
[18:39] Megu
    You were killed in such a
    terrible way, after all...
[18:41] Kaz
    Huh?
[18:42] Kaz
    H-How was I killed?
[18:45] Aqua
    You were beheaded by the Winter Shogun.
[18:48] Aqua
    It was quite a splendid slice.
[18:51] Kaz
    B-Beheaded?!
[18:59] Kaz
    Winter in this world is
[19:01] Kaz
    a season where only those who make
    it through the struggle for survival,
[19:05] Kaz
    despite the scarce food and harsh environment,
[19:07] Kaz
    are allowed to remain alive and active.
[19:10] Kaz
    There aren't any quests beginners
    like us can complete easily.
[19:16] Kaz
    Okay, retreat!
SIGN    Kill The Snow Sprites!
SIGN    Kill Quest
SIGN    Retired
[19:20] All
    KONOSUBA!
[19:29] Aqua
    Ta-da!
[19:30] Megu
    A Snow Sprite?
[19:33] Aqua
    I didn't only prostrate myself.
[19:36] Aqua
    I pretended to set them all
    free, but I saved just one.
[19:40] Aqua
    I guess even the Winter Shogun couldn't
    see through my convincing performance!
[19:44] Kaz
    Way to go, Aqua!
[19:46] Kaz
    All right, hand it over and I'll kill it.
[19:49] Aqua
    What?! No!
[19:50] Aqua
    I'm going to take this one home
    and make it a refrigerator!
[19:53] Kaz
    The reward for killing those is 100,000 each!
[19:56] Aqua
    No! Not this one!
[19:58] Aqua
    I've already given it a name!
[20:00] Aqua
    I won't let you kill it!
[20:02] Aqua
    Don't! Don't!
[20:03] Kaz
    She's resisting more than I expected.
[20:05] Dark
    Let her be, Kazuma.
[20:08] Kaz
    Oh, fine.
[20:13] Aqua
    I'll raise it with care,
[20:15] Aqua
    and when summer comes,
    I'll have it make lots of ice.
[20:18] Aqua
    Then we'll open a snow cone shop!
[20:20] Aqua
    We'll sleep together on hot, restless nights.
[20:24] Aqua
    Hey, what does this little one eat?
[20:26] Megu
    Do Snow Sprites eat anything to begin with?
[20:29] Dark
    They look so fluffy and soft.
[20:33] Dark
    I bet if you put some sugar on it and took
    a bite, it'd actually be really tasty.
[20:36] Aqua
    I-I won't let you eat it!
[20:38] Megu
    Actually, I've worked up an appetite.
[20:42] Aqua
    Let's order something!
[20:44] Aqua
    I wonder what I should choose.
[20:47] Kaz
    That goddess...
[20:50] Kaz
    She mourned my death so much,
[20:53] Kaz
    and smiled kindly when I was revived.
[20:58] (Flashback) Eris
    This is our little secret, okay?
[21:02] Kaz
    A righteous, beautiful
    girl who's not an oddball!
[21:06] Kaz
    Finally, so long after I came to this world, the main heroine has appeared!
[21:10] Aqua
    Kazuma, aren't you going to eat?
[21:12] Kaz
    Huh?
[21:15] Kaz
    Hey, how much did you guys order?!
[21:18] Megu
    Once you become as great a magician as I am,
[21:20] Megu
    you require great sacrifices
    in order to function.
[21:24] Aqua
    What's with you?
[21:25] Kaz
    What is it?!
[21:25] Aqua
    I brought you back to life today, Kazuma!
[21:28] Kaz
    Huh?
[21:28] Aqua
    There's nothing wrong with a
    reward of this size, is there?
[21:31] Aqua
    I put a little of the reward
    from the quest into it, too!
[21:33] Kaz
    That money was to get us through the winter!
[21:35] Dark
    What's the problem?
[21:36] Kaz
    What?!
[21:37] Dark
    If we run out of money, we can
    just accept another quest.
[21:40] Dark
    What sort of monster would be good next?
[21:42] Dark
    Maybe one that secretes a lot of slime,
[21:45] Dark
    or one with repulsive tentacles?
[21:49] Dark
    Just imagining it makes me
    quiver with excitement!
[21:53] Kaz
    On second thought, I should've
    reincarnated in Japan.
[21:57] Kaz
    I made the wrong choice...
SIGN    The magician of extraordinary genius: Megumin. Beneath her charming exterior lay tremendous explosion magic, which was of such splendor, it was even artistic. She brought tears to the eyes of everyone, from children to the elderly, and even to wicked monsters. Spectators rushed in from around to the world to catch a glimpse of her wonderful magic, to the extent it became a subject of public concern. Record of the Great Magician - Chapter 126
SIGN    Episode 8
SIGN    A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter!

E8 - A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Aqua
    So cold...
[00:06] Aqua
    I pawned my coat, too. It's so cold...
[00:12] Aqua
    Th-The fire!
[00:14] Aqua
    There.
[00:18] Kaz
    Hey, what are you doing?!
[00:19] Kaz
    Quit screwing around!
[00:21] Kaz
    What do you think you're doing
    to my only memento of Japan?!
[00:24] Aqua
    I don't have any choice!
[00:26] Aqua
    There's nothing else to burn!
[00:27] Kaz
    Hand over that raiment, then!
[00:29] Kaz
    It looks like it would burn
    better than a tracksuit!
[00:32] Aqua
    Let go, you shut-in NEET!
[00:34] Aqua
    Warm me up! Warm me up more!
[00:44] Aqua
    Whoa, wait!
[00:54] Kaz
    I can't go on like this.
[00:57] Kaz
    We have to do something, and fast.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 8
SIGN    "A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter!"
[02:33] Kaz
    Our party is poorly balanced.
[02:36] Kaz
    I'd like a skill that I could use
    more like a main weapon.
[02:36] Aqua
    So cold...
[02:43] Kaz
    All right, we're here.
[02:44] Kaz
    Listen, Aqua.
[02:45] Kaz
    I'll say this while I have the chance.
    Don't throw any fits, you hear?
[02:48] Aqua
    Hey, what're you talking about?
[02:50] Aqua
    What do you take me for?
[02:52] Aqua
    I'm no hoodlum or outlaw.
[02:55] Aqua
    I'm a goddess, a bona fide deity!
[02:57] Aqua
    Hey! Are you listening to me?
[02:59] Aqua
    Wait! You should listen gratefully
    when a goddess speaks!
[03:01] Wiz
    Welco—
[03:06] Aqua
    It's you, you damned undead!
[03:08] Aqua
    You opened up a shop here?
[03:10] Aqua
    I'm sleeping in a stable,
[03:13] Aqua
    and you're running a shop?!
[03:15] Aqua
    You're pretty full of yourself, for a lich!
[03:18] Aqua
    I'll burn this shop to the
    ground in the name of God—
[03:20] Aqua
    Ow!
[03:22] Wiz
    Kazuma-san!
[03:25] Kaz
    Yo, Wiz. It's been a while.
[03:27] All
    KONOSUBA!
[03:31] Aqua
    Do you not even serve tea at this shop?
[03:33] Wiz
    Oh, I-I'm sorry!
[03:35] Wiz
    I'll bring some for you right away!
[03:41] Kaz
    I see she hasn't changed.
[03:47] Kaz
    Her name is Wiz.
[03:49] Kaz
    She may look like an ordinary
    human, but she's actually a lich.
[03:52] Kaz
    She's a ruler of the undead,
    also known as the "No-Life King."
[03:56] Kaz
    Although Wiz is a lich, she's a kind girl.
[03:59] Kaz
    Every night, she'd send spirits wandering
    the graveyard home to Heaven.
[04:02] Kaz
    Through various circumstances,
[04:04] Kaz
    we took up that job in her stead
[04:07] Kaz
    and ended up letting her go, but...
[04:12] Wiz
    H-Here you go.
[04:18] Aqua
    It's delicious.
[04:20] Aqua
    You set up a shop even
    though you're an undead,
[04:22] Aqua
    and you prepare warm tea even
    though you're an undead...
[04:25] Wiz
    I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[04:27] Wiz
    The likes of me shouldn't live in such luxury!
[04:29] Kaz
    Stop acting like a spiteful sister-in-law.
[04:34] Kaz
    Wiz, I have some spare points saved up.
[04:37] Kaz
    Could you teach me a skill?
[04:40] Aqua
    Hey! What are you thinking, Kazuma?!
[04:42] Aqua
    I can't possibly overlook a goddess's
    attendant learning a lich's skills!
[04:46] Kaz
    Who're you calling an attendant?!
[04:48] Aqua
    Listen. Liches love gloomy, dismal places.
[04:53] Aqua
    The whole lot of them are
    basically related to slugs!
[04:56] Wiz
    Th-That's terrible!
[04:58] Kaz
    But people normally can't
    learn lich skills, right?
[05:01] Kaz
    I was thinking it could be
[05:03] Kaz
    a great asset in battle if
    I could learn skills like that.
[05:06] Wiz
    Um...
[05:08] Wiz
    Did she say "a goddess's attendant" earlier?
[05:10] Aqua
    That's right.
[05:11] Aqua
    I am Aqua.
[05:13] Aqua
    Yes, the goddess Aqua, worshiped
    by the Religious Order of Axis.
[05:17] Aqua
    Renounce yourself, Lich!
[05:20] Kaz
    Hey, Wiz. There's no need to get so scared.
[05:23] Wiz
    No, it's...
[05:25] Wiz
    There are lots of crazy
    people in the Axis sect,
[05:28] Wiz
    and it's common knowledge that it's
    best not to get involved with them,
[05:32] Wiz
    so when I heard that she's the
    head goddess of the Axis sect...
[05:38] Aqua
    What did you say?!
[05:39] Aqua
    Curse you! This is what you get!
[05:40] Wiz
    I'm sorry!
[05:42] Kaz
    This conversation isn't going anywhere.
[05:44] Aqua
    KONOSUBA!
[05:51] Wiz
    By the way, I heard you defeated Verdia-san.
[05:56] Wiz
    His skill with the sword was
    supposed to be quite impressive,
[05:59] Wiz
    even among the other leaders,
[06:02] Wiz
    so that's quite amazing.
[06:04] Kaz
    You sound as if you knew Verdia.
[06:08] Wiz
    Oh,
[06:09] Wiz
    that's because I'm one of the eight
    leaders of the Devil King's army.
[06:12] Aqua
    Got you!
[06:15] Wiz
    Wait! Please wait, Aqua-sama!
[06:18] Wiz
    I beg of you! Please listen
    to what I have to say!
[06:23] Aqua
    I did it, Kazuma!
[06:24] Aqua
    With this, all my debts will be forgiven!
[06:26] Aqua
    In fact, I should get change back!
[06:28] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua, at least hear her out.
[06:32] Kaz
    Listen, as an adventurer,
    I obviously can't overlook you
[06:35] Kaz
    saying you're a leader of the Devil King's army...
[06:38] Wiz
    You've got it all wrong!
[06:39] Wiz
    I was asked to maintain the barrier
    that protects the Devil King's castle!
[06:43] Wiz
    Of course, I've never once
    caused anyone any harm,
[06:46] Wiz
    and you won't receive any
    bounty for defeating me, either!
[06:54] Aqua
    I don't really get it, but I'll
    eliminate you, just in case.
[06:57] Wiz
    Please wait, Aqua-sama!
[06:59] Aqua-Kaz
    KONOSUBA!
[07:02] Kaz
    So you're saying
[07:03] Kaz
    we can open the path to the Devil King's
    castle by defeating all of his leaders.
[07:07] Kaz
    Is that right?
[07:08] Wiz
    Yes, yes! That's correct!
[07:11] Wiz
    That's what the Devil King asked of me!
[07:13] Wiz
    He said he wouldn't stop me from quietly
    managing my shop in a human settlement,
[07:17] Wiz
    but only asked that I maintain
    the barrier as one of his leaders.
[07:20] Aqua
    So, as long as you're around,
[07:22] Aqua
    humans can't invade the Devil King's castle?
[07:26] Aqua
    Kazuma, let's eliminate her.
[07:28] Wiz
    Wait! Please wait!
[07:30] Wiz
    Please at least let me live a little while longer!
[07:34] Wiz
    I still have something I need to do.
[07:38] Aqua
    I could easily break a simple barrier...
[07:42] Aqua
    But she's a lich, so let's eliminate her.
[07:44] Wiz
    Please wait!
[07:45] Kaz
    Now, hang on.
[07:47] Kaz
    Even if we broke the barrier right now,
[07:49] Kaz
    we can't defeat the Devil King
    at our current levels.
[07:52] Kaz
    It'll just end in us being beheaded.
[07:55] Aqua
    Okay, fine.
[07:56] Wiz
    Th-Thank you very much!
[07:58] Kaz
    But are you okay with this?
[07:59] Kaz
    You don't resent us for
    defeating Verdia or anything?
[08:02] Wiz
    It's not as though I was particularly
    close to Verdia-san or anything.
[08:11] Wiz
    Whenever I would walk around...
[08:12] (Flashback) Dul
    Whoops!
[08:19] (Flashback) Dul
    My hand slipped!
[08:23] Wiz
    He was the sort who would often
    roll his own head down by my feet
[08:26] Wiz
    and try to look up my skirt.
[08:29] (Flashback) Dul
    Strike! In so many ways, a total strike!
[08:33] Wiz
    Besides,
[08:35] Wiz
    I believe my heart is human, even now.
[08:39] Kid
    Here I go! Hi-yah!
[08:42] Wiz
    Okay, then, I'll teach you one of my skills.
[08:45] Wiz
    It's the least I can do to repay
    you for letting me go before...
[08:50] Kaz
    What's wrong?
[08:51] Wiz
    Um...
[08:52] Wiz
    All of my skills can only be used on an opponent.
[08:57] Kaz
    Aqua, sorry, but would you do it?
[09:01] Aqua
    What skill is an undead planning to use on me?
[09:05] Wiz
    W-Well...
[09:06] Wiz
    How about "Drain Touch"?
[09:09] Wiz
    It's a skill that absorbs an
    opponent's health and magic,
[09:11] Wiz
    and can then distribute that power to others.
[09:14] Kaz
    I see. Depending on how it's used,
[09:16] Kaz
    it might be able to compensate for
    our party's lack of firepower.
[09:20] Wiz
    O-Of course,
[09:21] Wiz
    I'll only absorb a very small amount.
[09:27] Aqua
    Fine. Absorb as much as you can.
[09:30] Aqua
    Go right ahead.
[09:33] Kaz
    It's getting hard to tell which is
    the lich and which is the goddess.
[09:37] Wiz
    O-Okay,
[09:39] Wiz
    please excuse me.
[09:44] Wiz
    Huh? H-Huh?
[09:46] Aqua
    Come on, what's the matter?
[09:47] Aqua
    Aren't you going to absorb
    my magic and health?
[09:50] Wiz
    H-Huh?!
[09:52] Aqua
    Ow!
[09:53] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma, don't interfere!
[09:55] Aqua
    This is a battle between a lich and a goddess!
[09:58] Aqua
    You think I'll let her absorb
    my strength that easily?!
[10:00] Kaz
    Look, we're not getting anywhere,
    so let her absorb it!
[10:03] Both
    KONOSUBA!
[10:06] Kaz
    All right...
[10:25] Kaz
    Acquisition complete!
[10:26] Wiz
    U-Um, Aqua-sama?
[10:29] Wiz
    It's all right. You can let go of my hand now.
[10:32] Wiz
    Actually, when you touch me,
    it sort of makes my hand tingle,
[10:36] Wiz
    so I'd appreciate it if you would let go.
[10:40] Wiz
    A-Aqua-sama?
[10:42] Wiz
    Um, my hand is starting to burn...
[10:45] Wiz
    Aqua-sama, I'm going to disappear!
    I'm going to disappear!
[10:47] Wiz
    I'm disappearing!
[10:49] Aqua
    Ow!
[10:50] Kaz
    What are you taking advantage
    of the moment to do?
[10:53] Wiz
    You're so mean...
[10:55] Kaz
    Is it just my imagination,
    or does Wiz look kind of see-through?
[10:59] Cust
    Excuse me!
[11:02] Cust
    Is Wiz-san here?
[11:04] Wiz
    KONOSUBA!
[11:12] Kaz
    This is the place?
[11:13] Aqua
    Not bad! Yes, not bad at all!
[11:16] Aqua
    This should be a fitting place for me to live!
[11:19] Megu
    This was originally some
    aristocrat's villa, I hear.
[11:23] Dark
    But the landlord certainly is generous,
    allowing us to live here as
[11:26] Dark
    a reward if we can exorcise it.
[11:28] Kaz
    Wiz is apparently known as a
    famous magician in our city,
[11:33] Kaz
    so people often bring cases like these to her.
[11:36] Aqua
    With this, we can make it through
    the winter without worry!
[11:40] Aqua
    Like they say, "make the
    best of a bad situation."
[11:43] Aqua
    Nothing less from me!
[11:44] Kaz
    But according to the landlord,
    spirits reappear instantly,
[11:46] Kaz
    no matter how many times they're exorcised.
[11:49] Aqua
    Leave it to me!
[11:50] Aqua
    I'm a goddess and an arch priest!
[11:53] Aqua
    You could call me an anti-undead expert!
[12:01] Aqua
    I see it. I see it!
[12:03] Aqua
    There was a child born
[12:05] Aqua
    in this mansion to an aristocrat who made
    a move on his maid, partly in fun,
[12:08] Aqua
    and that illegitimate child was confined here.
[12:11] Aqua
    The aristocrat had a weak constitution,
    and when he died from illness,
[12:14] Aqua
    the mother of the illegitimate
    child went missing, as well.
[12:17] Aqua
    The girl remained in the
    mansion and succumbed
[12:19] Aqua
    to the same illness as her father,
    passing away at a young age,
[12:22] Aqua
    lonely and alone, without ever
    knowing her parents' faces.
[12:22] Kaz
    I really want to ask how you know
    the setting in such detail...
[12:32] Kaz
    That'll take care of the cleaning for now.
[12:34] Dark
    We've decided the room arrangements,
    and we've carried in our luggage,
[12:37] Dark
    so all that's left is to wait for nighttime.
[12:39] Kaz
    No surprise that it's a little dusty... Huh?
[12:40] Aqua
    The girl's name was Anna Filante Estheroid.
[12:43] Aqua
    Her favorite things were stuffed dolls
    and tales of adventurers' journeys.
[12:48] Aqua
    But don't worry. This spirit isn't a bad girl.
[12:51] Aqua
    Whoa!
[12:52] Aqua
    She may be a child, but she appears to
    like things that are a bit grown-up.
[12:55] Aqua
    She enjoys sweet, hard drinks—
[12:58] Kaz
    Okay, everyone's free to do
    as they please from now on.
[13:01] Kaz
    Call out as soon as an evil spirit shows up.
[13:04] Kaz
    Dismissed!
[13:10] Kaz
    This is great!
[13:11] Kaz
    Having my own room is a wonderful thing!
[13:14] Kaz
    I'm sure the evil spirits
    will be gone by morning.
[13:17] Kaz
    Knowing Aqua, she isn't the
    type to let evil spirits
[13:21] Kaz
    do whatever they like in her own house.
[13:24] Kaz
    She is an arch priest and goddess, after all.
[13:29] Kaz
    What?!
[13:32] Kaz
    What's wrong? Hey, Aqua, what happened?!
[13:33] Kaz
    Are you all right?
[13:37] Aqua
    Kazuma!
[13:39] Kaz
    Hey.
[13:40] Aqua
    This is super expensive alcohol
    that I've been saving.
[13:44] Aqua
    I was looking forward to taking
    leisurely sips of it after my bath...
[13:48] Aqua
    But when I came back to
    my room, as you can see,
[13:52] Aqua
    it was empty!
[13:53] Kaz
    I see. Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow.
[13:55] Aqua
    This is the work of evil spirits!
[13:57] Aqua
    I'm going to go look around the mansion
[13:59] Aqua
    and strike down any spirits
    that catch my eye!
[14:04] Aqua
    Show yourselves!
[14:09] Aqua
    Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
[14:12] Aqua
    Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
[14:14] Aqua
    Nature's Beauty!
[14:15] Aqua
    Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
[14:29] Kaz
    I gotta go to the bathroom.
[14:36] Kaz
    Whoa, scary!
[14:37] Kaz
    Huh? Was there a doll like that in this room?
[14:40] Kaz
    It can't be!
[14:42] Kaz
    A clichéd development like
    this can't be happening!
[15:05] Kaz
    Aqua! Aqua-sama!
[15:08] Kaz
    Scary! Scary! This is super scary! What is this?!
[15:13] Kaz
    Aqua! Save m—
[15:22] Kaz
    Don't scare me like that, Megumin!
[15:23] Kaz
    I nearly wet myself.
[15:25] Megu
    I'm the one who should be saying that!
[15:27] Megu
    Why did you come barging into this room?
[15:30] Megu
    I thought Aqua was coming back.
[15:33] Kaz
    I could ask you the same.
    Why are you in Aqua's room?
[15:36] Megu
    Well, there were dolls moving
    around all over the place...
[15:40] Megu
    So, um, I was going to have Aqua protect me...
[15:46] Megu
    and thought we could go
    to the bathroom together.
[15:50] Kaz
    You, too?
[15:52] Kaz
    Aqua's probably still out exorcising
    spirits in the mansion, isn't she?
[15:56] Megu
    Is she? I'm sure Darkness is with her, then.
[16:01] Kaz
    Yeah, despite how she is, she's a crusader.
[16:06] Kaz
    Hey, Megumin,
[16:08] Kaz
    look over there and cover
    your ears for a minute.
[16:11] Kaz
    I'm going to borrow your veranda for a—
[16:14] Kaz
    Hey, what are you doing?
[16:15] Kaz
    Let go.
[16:16] Kaz
    If you don't, my pants and the carpet in
    this room are going to be in big trouble.
[16:20] Megu
    I won't let you.
[16:22] Megu
    How can you try to relieve yourself alone?
[16:25] Megu
    Aren't we allies?
[16:27] Megu
    Wherever we go, bathroom or otherwise,
[16:30] Megu
    we go together!
[16:33] Kaz
    Let go!
[16:34] Kaz
    Don't emphasize our bond as
    allies only at times like these!
[16:36] Kaz
    Didn't you say crimson demons
    don't use the bathroom?!
[16:39] Kaz
    If you want, there's an empty
    bottle lying over there!
[16:42] Megu
    You just blurted out something outrageous!
[16:43] Kaz
    Now, do it! Give it a try! Go pee!
[16:45] Megu
    What are you suggesting I
    do with that empty bottle?!
[16:47] Megu
    I won't let you!
[16:49] Megu
    I can at least shake you from behind
[16:51] Megu
    while you're taking of your business—
[17:06] Megu
    KONOSUBA!
[17:14] Megu
    Kazuma, are you there?
[17:15] Kaz
    I'm here.
[17:17] Megu
    Are you really there?
[17:19] Kaz
    I am here!
[17:20] Megu
    You're really, really there for me, right?
[17:23] Kaz
    I'm here!
[17:24] Kaz
    I'm right here, and I won't
    leave you, so hurry up and go!
[17:28] Megu
    Um, this is a little embarrassing,
[17:31] Megu
    so could you sing a song or
    something in a loud voice?
[17:34] Kaz
    Why do I have to sing in the middle
    of the night, in front of a bathroom?!
[17:44] Kaz
    Hey, Megumin, hurry up!
[17:45] Megu
    Please don't rush me like that!
[17:48] Megu
    I know you're in a tough spot, too!
[17:50] Kaz
    It's true that both our
    bladders are in a tough spot,
[17:52] Kaz
    but we've got a bigger problem closing in!
[17:54] Megu
    I can't go if you rush me like that!
[17:59] Kaz
    It's no good!
[17:59] Kaz
    I can't wait any longer!
[18:06] Kaz
    Hurry!
[18:10] Megu
    How can anyone have so
    little common sense?!
[18:12] Kaz
    You at least got halfway through, so you're fine!
[18:15] Megu
    What are you talking about?
[18:16] Megu
    Crimson demons don't use the bathroom.
[18:19] Kaz
    You're saying that now?!
[18:20] Kaz
    I'm already at my limit here!
[18:23] Megu
    I thought that might happen, so I brought this.
[18:26] Megu
    Please use it.
[18:27] Kaz
    No, thanks!
[18:37] Kaz
    I can't hold it anymore.
[18:39] Kaz
    At this point, I'd sooner use the vase...
[18:41] Megu
    Darkness blacker than black
    and darker than dark,
[18:45] Megu
    I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.
[18:47] Kaz
    What are you chanting?
[18:49] Kaz
    You want to blow away this
    mansion along with them?!
[18:56] Kaz
    Damn... We'll just have to go for it!
[18:58] Kaz
    Megumin, once I open the door, run!
[19:00] Kaz
    I'll use the Drain Touch skill I just learned
[19:02] Kaz
    and absorb the magic of as many dolls as I can!
[19:06] Kaz
    Bring it on, you evil spirits!
[19:10] Kaz
    I'll sic our mad-dog goddess
    on you all later, damn it!
[19:19] Dark
    H-Hey, Aqua, are you all right?
[19:22] Dark
    KONOSUBA!
[19:23] 3
    Yay! Yay!
[19:25] Luna
    Since you exorcised the evil spirits,
[19:27] Luna
    you get a special reward.
[19:29] Luna
    This was posted as a kill quest,
[19:32] Luna
    but even the guild was bothered
[19:34] Luna
    by how new evil spirits settled in,
    no matter how many were exorcised.
[19:37] Kaz
    So I hear.
[19:39] Kaz
    Why did so many evil spirits gather there?
[19:41] Luna
    About that...
[19:43] Luna
    There's a community graveyard
    near that mansion, correct?
[19:47] Aqua
    A community graveyard?
[19:49] Kaz
    The place where we first met Wiz?
[19:52] Luna
    Someone apparently erected a massive
    barrier as a prank or something.
[19:56] Luna
    So the spirits had nowhere to go
[19:58] Luna
    and settled in that vacant mansion instead.
[20:02] Kaz
    Excuse us for a moment.
[20:07] Kaz
    Hey. You know what's going
    on, don't you? Spill it.
[20:11] Aqua
    Yes.
[20:12] Aqua
    You remember how we undertook exorcising
    the graveyard in Wiz's stead before?
[20:15] Kaz
    Uh-huh.
[20:16] Aqua
    But constantly going all the way
    to the graveyard was a huge pain.
[20:19] Kaz
    Uh-huh.
[20:19] Aqua
    So I figured if I took away their graveyard,
[20:22] Aqua
    the spirits' home, they would
    eventually disperse and leave.
[20:26] Aqua
    So... I... did.
[20:29] Kaz
    Talk about stirring up trouble
    and taking the credit!
[20:31] Kaz
    This is obviously wrong.
[20:34] Kaz
    We won't accept the special
    reward from the guild.
[20:37] Kaz
    Got it?
[20:39] Aqua
    Yes.
[20:40] Both
    KONOSUBA!
[20:44] Kaz
    I thought for sure it was
    all Aqua's wild delusions.
[20:47] Kaz
    Who would've thought it was all true?
[20:50] Wiz
    Kazuma-san.
[20:51] Wiz
    Hello. Are you cleaning the gravestone?
[20:54] Wiz
    Isn't it great that you've
    been allowed to live here?
[20:58] Kaz
    It's a life-saver that the landlord
    here is such a nice person.
[21:01] Kaz
    We caused you a lot of trouble, too, Wiz.
[21:03] Wiz
    No, no. I personally think
    this was for the best.
[21:08] Wiz
    I'm sure she won't be lonely anymore.
[21:13] Kaz
    I'm sure.
[21:14] Kaz
    I'm begging you, please don't
    cause any more mischief.
[21:17] Wiz
    Well, I need to tend to the shop,
    so I'll be heading back for the day.
[21:21] Wiz
    Say hello to the others for me.
[21:23] Kaz
    Yeah, thanks for coming.
[21:30] Aqua
    Kazuma! Dinner's ready, so hurry back!
[21:34] Aqua
    If you don't, your long-awaited
    lunch will get cold!
[21:38] Kaz
    With this, I finally obtained
[21:40] Kaz
    the down-to-earth lifestyle I most desired.
[21:44] Kaz
    Got it. I'm on my way!
[21:47] Dark
    Aqua, we're out of wood for the fireplace.
[21:50] Aqua
    Oh, then toss Kazuma's tracksuit
    over there onto the fire!
[21:53] Kaz
    Don't!
[21:55] Kaz
    I told you, don't try to
    burn my precious memories!
SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 15 A knight must never lose their composure over trivial matters. Having a monster cast its black magic upon you, or being manipulated by obscene mental attacks and exposing your follies to your allies, are disgraceful acts. Also, in the unlikely event you feel sexually stimulated by such a situation, you must never behave as such. Knight or not, it is the lowest of interests you can have as a human being.
SIGN    Episode 9
SIGN    God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!
[23:30] Dark
    A knight must never lose their
    composure over trivial matters.
[23:34] Dark
    No matter how absurd the situation,
    they must never give in.
[23:37] Dark
    Even when faced with obscene mental attacks—

E9 - God's Blessing On This Wonderful Shop!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] Megu
    Darkness! That's not fair!
[00:16] Megu
    All right, then... Very well, very well.
[00:19] Megu
    Go ahead and do as you please.
[00:20] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma.
[00:21] Aqua
    Relinquish that spot to me,
    the exalted Aqua-sama.
[00:25] Kaz
    Huh?
[00:26] Aqua
    I'm level 21,
[00:28] Aqua
    the highest level in the party.
[00:31] Aqua
    You're being awfully impertinent
    for an under-leveled lowbie.
[00:34] Aqua
    If you get that, then give the spot
    nearest the fireplace to your superior.
[00:40] Kaz
    Huh?
[00:41] Kaz
    I don't think your stats have risen
    at all since I first saw them.
[00:46] Aqua
    Kazuma, you fool.
[00:47] Aqua
    My stats were obviously maxed
    out from the very start!
[00:51] Aqua
    You're mistaken to lump me together
    with ordinary adventurers.
[00:55] Megu
    Looks like my only choice now is
    to whip out my deadly teleport.
[00:58] Dark
    H-Hey, Megumin! That's not fair.
[01:01] Megu
    Those are the rules.
[01:02] Dark
    Huh?
[01:03] Megu
    Destroyer, explosion!
[01:05] Aqua
    Oh, what's this?
[01:07] Aqua
    You're being very obedient.
[01:11] Kaz
    That explains why
[01:12] Kaz
    her intelligence doesn't improve,
    no matter how much she levels up.
[01:17] Aqua
    Hey, wait.
[01:18] Aqua
    Why are you crying?
[01:20] Aqua
    What's with that look in your eyes,
    like you're staring at someone pitiful?
[01:24] Kaz
    Goodnight.
[01:25] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma!
[01:27] Kaz
    We acquired a mansion.
[01:29] Kaz
    We resolved the matter of making it through
    winter, which had been our top concern.
[01:34] Kaz
    But we still have lots of
    problems left to solve...
[01:37] Aqua
    Sheesh! What's your problem?!
[01:57] Kaz
    Hey, what're you guys doing here?
[02:01] Keith
    Oh, it's you, Kazuma?
    Don't scare me like that.
[02:05] Kaz
    These guys are Keith and Dust,
    two adventurers I got to know recently.
[02:09] Kaz
    You're way too jumpy.
[02:11] Kaz
    Anyway, is there something down this way?
[02:17] Dust
    This is a secret only for male adventurers.
[02:21] Kaz
    Okay...
[02:21] Dust
    Have you heard of a shop
    covertly run by succubi
[02:24] Dust
    that lets you have nice dreams?
[02:29] Kaz
    Fill me in.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 9
SIGN    "God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!"
[04:18] Kaz
    I don't think I could have come into
    a place like this on my own.
[04:23] Suc
    Welcome!
[04:25] Suc
    Please come this way.
[04:26] Kaz
    Uh, sure.
[04:28] C
    And his companions, right this way.
[04:30] Keith
    Y-Yes!
[04:31] Dust
    Okay...
[04:34] Suc
    Please wait just a moment.
[04:45] Kaz
    You're...
[04:48] Ruff
    Welcome to Hell's door.
[04:50] Ruff
    Do your best, you daredevil.
[04:53] Kaz
    S-Sure.
[04:56] Ruff
    I can hardly wait.
[04:58] Kaz
    Occupation... Artisan Weaver?
[05:01] Kaz
    Huh?
[05:02] Kaz
    He wasn't an adventurer?!
[05:04] Suc
    Sir?
[05:06] Suc
    Sir?
[05:07] Kaz
    Y-Yes?
[05:09] Suc
    Is this your first time at our shop?
[05:12] Kaz
    Oh, yes.
[05:13] Suc
    Well, then, I will explain.
[05:15] Kaz
    Please do.
[05:16] Suc
    We succubi have established
[05:17] Suc
    a mutually beneficial relationship with
    the male adventurers of this city.
[05:21] Kaz
    Yes.
[05:21] Suc
    Many adventurers live in stables, correct?
[05:25] Kaz
    Yes.
[05:25] Suc
    So, I believe males get pent-up in various ways.
[05:29] Suc
    But they are unable to do
    anything about it since
[05:32] Suc
    there are other adventurers
    sleeping all around them.
[05:35] Kaz
    I have nothing to feel guilty about, but...
[05:38] Kaz
    Yeah, there's nothing to feel guilty about!
[05:41] Suc
    Having said that,
[05:42] Suc
    if they were to try to make a move on
    a female adventurer sleeping nearby,
[05:45] Suc
    the other adventurers would notice
    instantly and beat them into submission.
[05:50] Suc
    Or it's possible the person
    he tried to mess around with
[05:53] Suc
    could cut his you-know-what
    off with a hidden dagger.
[05:56] Kaz
    Has that actually happened to anyone?
[06:00] Suc
    And so,
[06:01] Suc
    we succubi give male adventurers
    dreams that bring them relief.
[06:06] Suc
    We do end up taking a bit of your vitality,
[06:09] Suc
    but we do so in moderation
[06:11] Suc
    to ensure it won't affect
    your adventures or daily life.
[06:15] Kaz
    Wonderful! Beyond wonderful!
[06:19] Kaz
    If everyone could be in a
    constant state of afterglow,
[06:21] Kaz
    there would be no war!
[06:23] Suc
    Please write your order for your desired dream
[06:26] Suc
    on this questionnaire sheet.
[06:29] Kaz
    Um, there are entries for
[06:31] Kaz
    the customer's condition, gender,
    and appearance in the dream...
[06:35] Kaz
    Uh, what are these?
[06:37] Suc
    Those are for requests such as
    "I want to be a king or hero."
[06:41] Suc
    We have customers who want to try
    it from a female perspective, too.
[06:45] Kaz
    Really?
[06:48] Suc
    There are also those who
    wish to return to boyhood
[06:51] Suc
    and get pushed down by
    strong female adventurers.
[06:57] Kaz
    Are the men in this city all right?
[07:01] Kaz
    Oh, what about this "partner preferences"?
[07:04] Kaz
    How much can you actually configure?
[07:06] Suc
    Their personality, speech patterns,
[07:08] Suc
    appearance, and even how much they like you.
[07:10] Suc
    It can be anything or anyone,
[07:12] Suc
    whether they exist in real life or not.
[07:14] Kaz
    For real?!
[07:16] Suc
    For real.
[07:17] Kaz
    So a specific famous girl,
    a girl who's close to me,
[07:20] Kaz
    or even a 2D waifu would be possible?
[07:22] Suc
    Yes, though I don't know what a "2D waifu" is.
[07:27] Kaz
    Would the rights to one's likeness
    and so forth cause problems?
[07:31] Suc
    They wouldn't. It's a dream, after all.
[07:34] Kaz
    That's true!
[07:36] Kaz
    Would that mean there's no restriction
    on your partner's age, either?
[07:41] Kaz
    Oh, not that I intend to ask for that sort of thing.
[07:43] Kaz
    I just... How should I put it...
[07:45] Suc
    There is not.
[07:46] Suc
    Please choose whatever you like.
[07:48] Kaz
    I-Is that okay?
[07:51] Kaz
    In terms of, you know, regulations and stuff?
[07:54] Suc
    It's all right. It is a dream, after all.
[07:57] Kaz
    That's true!
[07:59] Kaz
    Yeah, there's no problem if it's in a dream!
[08:02] Kaz
    I can't believe this!
[08:03] Kaz
    Succubi erotic dream
    services are the greatest!
[08:07] Suc
    Oh, also, please be careful not to
    drink too much this evening, okay?
[08:10] Suc
    If you sleep too soundly,
    we can't show you any dreams.
[08:14] Kaz
    All right, understood!
[08:16] All
    KO-NOSUBA!
[08:19] Kaz
    I'm back.
[08:26] Aqua
    Be glad, Kazuma!
    Tonight's dinner is incredible!
[08:30] Aqua
    It's crab! Crab!
[08:32] Dark
    My family sent them to
    congratulate us on moving in.
[08:36] Aqua
    It's super high-grade marbled red crab,
[08:38] Aqua
    and it even came with this
    amazing, top-quality liquor!
[08:41] Aqua
    They said it's to thank
[08:42] Aqua
    their daughter's party members
    for always looking out for her!
[08:46] Megu
    I can hardly believe I'm laying
    my eyes on marbled red crab!
[08:49] Megu
    I've never been more glad that
    I joined this party than I am today.
[08:53] Kaz
    Is it that luxurious?
[08:55] Megu
    Of course!
[08:56] Megu
    If you told me I could eat this crab
[08:58] Megu
    in exchange for holding off on
    using explosion magic for the day,
[09:00] Megu
    I would restrain myself with pleasure,
[09:02] Megu
    and unleash my explosion
    magic after I've eaten!
[09:05] Megu
    That's how luxurious it is!
[09:08] Kaz
    Wow, that's aweso— Huh?
[09:10] Kaz
    What did you say at the end there?
[09:27] Kaz
    Gulp.
[09:37] Kaz
    Oh, no!
[09:38] Kaz
    I can't stop myself!
[09:42] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:44] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:46] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:50] Aqua
    Kazuma, Kazuma!
[09:51] Aqua
    Give me a little fire.
[09:53] Aqua
    I'll teach you a tasty way to drink this.
[09:57] Kaz
    Here. Tinder!
[10:00] Aqua
    Just place a shell filled with
    crab innards here, and...
[10:09] Aqua
    It should be ready.
[10:17] 3
    Gulp.
[10:19] Kaz
    M-Me, too!
[10:23] Kaz
    This is a trap!
[10:25] Kaz
    That succubus lady told me, didn't she?
[10:25] Dark
    That's a clever idea.
[10:27] Kaz
    If I drink too much and sleep soundly,
    I won't be able to dream!
[10:27] Aqua
    Isn't it? Nothing less from me!
[10:30] Megu
    Yeah!
[10:31] Megu
    Aqua, Aqua, what does it taste like?
[10:31] Dark
    Not going to drink? I'll go first, then.
[10:34] Kaz
    Calm down. I'm a man who's
    capable of self-restraint.
[10:35] Aqua
    Let me think... If I had to say, it's like...
[10:38] Kaz
    A man who possesses a will of steel
    and the strength to endure!
[10:45] Dark
    I could definitely drink this! It is good!
[10:48] Kaz
    Don't be tempted! I can't be tempted!
[10:50] Kaz
    I'm sure there'll be no stopping
    me once I get a taste!
[10:53] Megu
    Please give me some, too!
[10:54] Megu
    Just for today! What can it hurt?
[10:56] Dark
    No. I hear your whole life goes "poof"
    if you start drinking in childhood.
[11:00] Aqua
    Everyone drink up! I'm in a great mood now,
[11:03] Aqua
    so I'll show you the grand unveiling
    of my new party trick!
[11:06] Aqua
    A trick of the fingers...
[11:07] Aqua
    The mobile fortress, Destroyer!
[11:12] Megu
    Th-The form, shape, and movements!
[11:14] Megu
    It's the Destroyer for sure!
[11:16] Dark
    To think you could mimic that movement!
[11:18] Kaz
    Again, what the heck is a Destroyer?!
[11:21] Megu
    Aqua, do it again! Do it again!
[11:24] Aqua
    Art isn't something you can
    just show off when asked.
[11:26] Aqua
    It's something that presents itself
    naturally when the soul commands it.
[11:31] Dark
    What's wrong, Kazuma?
[11:33] Dark
    Did the food my family
    sent not suit your tastes?
[11:36] Kaz
    N-No! The crab is super tasty.
[11:39] Kaz
    It's just that I drank with some friends today
    and don't think I can drink any more.
[11:43] Kaz
    Tomorrow. I'll have some tomorrow.
[11:46] Dark
    I see.
[11:48] Kaz
    Stop! Don't give me such a genuine smile!
[11:52] Kaz
    You normally blurt out nothing but
[11:54] Kaz
    nasty stuff that creeps me out!
[11:56] Dark
    At least eat lots, then.
[11:59] Dark
    It's my thanks for everything.
[12:01] Kaz
    I kind of feel guilty...
[12:04] Kaz
    That's right.
[12:05] Kaz
    I should just drink with everyone
    and forget about the dream.
[12:09] Kaz
    Look at the faces of my allies here.
[12:11] Kaz
    Think about which is more important!
[12:14] Kaz
    Yes. There was never any need to worry
    about anything in the first place.
[12:22] Kaz
    Well, it's a little early,
[12:24] Kaz
    but I'm going to turn in.
[12:27] Kaz
    Goodnight, everyone.
[12:29] 4
    KONOSUBA!
[12:35] Kaz
    Crap, now my heart is pounding.
[12:37] Kaz
    Aw, what should I do? What should I do?
[12:42] Kaz
    I'm so nervous, expectant,
    and turned on that I can't sleep!
[12:55] Kaz
    I'm just having them give me a dream,
[12:57] Kaz
    but etiquette is important.
[13:15] Kaz
    The lantern flame went out?
[13:22] Kaz
    Hey, whoa, whoa! No, wait...
[13:24] Kaz
    I felt drowsy earlier and closed my eyes.
[13:27] Kaz
    That would mean this is...
[13:31] Kaz
    A dream?!
[13:35] Dark
    The moon really is pretty toni—
[13:41] Kaz
    Yo.
[13:49] Dark
    Wh-Wh... Wh-Wh-Wh...
[13:56] Kaz
    I always imagined she had a sexy body,
    but this is better than I imagined.
[14:03] Kaz
    Maybe the succubus adjusted
    her to suit my tastes.
[14:06] Dark
    H-Hey, Kazu—
[14:10] Kaz
    What's the matter, Darkness?
[14:16] Kaz
    Come on over here.
[14:19] Kaz
    You can start by washing my back.
[14:21] Dark
    Ah... Huh?
[14:26] Kaz
    What's with that reaction?
[14:28] Kaz
    It's kind of new. I like it.
[14:30] Kaz
    Still, why were you the one
    to appear in my dream?
[14:34] Kaz
    Maybe I shouldn't have requested a
    beautiful older woman with a hot body?
[14:37] Dark
    Wh-What are you talking about?
[14:40] Kaz
    Is this strange?
[14:40] Dark
    I, um, I mean... I have so many questions
    that my brain can't quite keep up,
[14:42] Kaz
    What could it be?
[14:44] Dark
    like why you're so calm,
    about washing your back,
[14:47] Dark
    what you mean by a "dream,"
    and what this is all about...
[14:50] Kaz
    Whoops, playing hard-to-get wasn't
    one of the settings I chose.
[14:54] Kaz
    Though, I did write that I wanted a shy
    older woman who was inexperienced.
[14:59] Kaz
    I guess this works, then.
[15:01] Dark
    Huh?
[15:01] Kaz
    There's no way around you
    being set to be inexperienced,
[15:06] Kaz
    but please hurry and wash my back.
[15:07] Dark
    U-Um...
[15:09] Dark
    Is me washing your back considered
    common sense in this situation?
[15:14] Kaz
    Hurry! I can't stand it anymore,
    in all sorts of ways!
[15:17] Dark
    Y-Y-You...
[15:18] Dark
    Do you understand what's going on right now?
[15:21] Dark
    If Aqua or Megumin found out about this...
[15:24] Kaz
    If that happens, why don't
    we all just get in together?
[15:28] Dark
    What's wrong with you?
    Seriously, what's wrong with you today?!
[15:32] Kaz
    Hey, you're being awfully noisy.
    What time do you think it is?
[15:35] Kaz
    Think about how much you're
    bothering the neighbors!
[15:37] Kaz
    One can only be so unsensible, you know.
[15:39] Dark
    Saying something sensible in this situation
    won't do any good at this point!
[15:44] Dark
    Is it me? Am I the one with no common sense?
[15:47] Dark
    Am I the strange one?!
[15:48] Kaz
    Yeah, you're always strange in general.
[15:52] Kaz
    Oh, this is a dream, so I guess it's
    no problem if you make noise.
[15:55] Kaz
    All right.
[15:57] Kaz
    Please go ahead, then.
[16:09] Dark
    Why is this happening?
[16:11] Dark
    Still, it's pathetic that my disposition
[16:14] Dark
    prevents me from resisting
    when you order me so brazenly.
[16:17] Kaz
    This feels new in all sorts of ways.
[16:19] Kaz
    I'm the one who's usually creeped out by you,
[16:22] Kaz
    so it's nice seeing you shy
    and embarrassed for a change.
[16:25] Dark
    Wh-Why, you...
[16:27] Dark
    You're talking and acting
    like some old man today!
[16:30] Dark
    C-Come on, that's enough, right?
[16:33] Dark
    C-Can I leave now?
[16:36] Kaz
    Don't be foolish!
[16:38] Kaz
    I know I set you to be inexperienced,
[16:39] Kaz
    but don't you know what routinely comes next?
[16:42] Kaz
    Next you dry me without using a towel.
[16:44] Dark
    This is not right!
[16:45] Dark
    No matter how inexperienced
    I may be, that's definitely...
[16:49] Kaz
    Hurry...
[16:49] Dark
    totally...
[16:52] Dark
    wrong...
[16:54] Kaz
    Hurry...
[16:57] Kaz
    Hurry!
[17:04] Aqua
    Intruder! Show yourself!
[17:07] Aqua
    Everyone, there's an intruder in the mansion!
[17:09] Kaz
    Huh?
[17:09] Dark
    Aqua's voice?
[17:10] Kaz
    I didn't ask to be forced to wait at this point!
[17:13] Kaz
    Even in my dreams, she gets in my way!
[17:16] Kaz
    I'm gonna go complain!
[17:17] Dark
    K-Kazuma?
[17:20] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua!
[17:23] Aqua
    Look, look!
[17:24] Aqua
    An intruder got caught in my barrier,
    and now she's immobilized...
[17:28] Aqua
    We've got another suspicious guy here!
[17:29] Kaz
    Who're you calling suspicious?!
[17:33] Kaz
    Oh, a succubus girl?
[17:36] Aqua
    This succubus got caught in the barrier,
    and now she's immobilized.
[17:40] Aqua
    I'm positive she was after you, Kazuma.
[17:43] Kaz
    What the heck? This is strange. Really strange.
[17:46] Kaz
    Wait, was that "Darkness"
    I ran into in the bathroom...
[17:51] Aqua
    I'll do an exorcism right away.
[17:53] Megu
    Just be good and let us destroy you.
[17:57] Aqua
    Just resign yourself.
[17:59] Aqua
    I'm going to use an extraordinarily
    powerful anti-devil—
[18:02] Aqua
    Huh?
[18:06] Suc
    Huh?
[18:09] Kaz
    Run away.
[18:10] Suc
    B-But...
[18:12] Aqua
    What're you doing?
[18:13] Aqua
    She's a devil who came here to
    attack you and steal your vitality!
[18:16] Megu
    Are you insane, Kazuma?
[18:19] Suc
    Sir, it is due to my inexperience
[18:22] Suc
    and failure to break in that
    this has come to pass.
[18:25] Suc
    I can't allow you to humiliate yourself.
[18:28] Suc
    I will accept my elimination,
[18:30] Suc
    so just pretend you don't know anything.
[18:35] Suc
    Sir?
[18:36] Aqua
    What's the big idea?
[18:37] Aqua
    There's no way a goddess like myself
[18:39] Aqua
    can let that devil get away.
[18:42] Aqua
    Kazuma, if you don't want us
    to beat you into submission,
[18:45] Aqua
    then move aside.
[18:50] Dark
    Kazuma has been charmed by that
    succubus and is under her control!
[18:54] Dark
    He's been acting weird since a little while ago!
[18:57] Dark
    He's been blurting out things about dreams
    and settings and so forth, so I'm sure of it!
[19:02] Dark
    You accursed succubus, you put me
    through so much humiliation...
[19:05] Dark
    I'll slaughter you!
[19:07] Megu
    Kazuma, she may be cute, but she's still a devil,
[19:09] Megu
    a monster.
[19:11] Megu
    Have you gone mad?
[19:13] Kaz
    Go.
[19:15] Suc
    But...
[19:16] Aqua
    It looks like I'll have to settle this
    score with Kazuma right here and now.
[19:21] Aqua
    Once I've pulverized you,
[19:23] Aqua
    I'll perform that succubus's last rites.
[19:31] Kaz
    Fine.
[19:39] Kaz
    There are some things you
    absolutely must protect.
[19:45] Kaz
    Bring it on!
[19:58] Megu
    The succubus ran away, huh?
[20:01] Aqua
    Better toss some salt.
[20:03] 4
    KONOSUBA!
SIGN    The Next Day
[20:10] Dark
    Glance...
[20:15] Kaz
    Hey, talk to me already.
[20:18] Kaz
    Besides, I think you're part of the problem,
[20:20] Kaz
    since you got caught up in the mood, too.
[20:28] Dark
    You really don't remember what
    happened last night, right?
[20:33] Dark
    You don't have any memory of it
    since you were being controlled
[20:37] Dark
    by that succubus, right?
[20:39] Kaz
    Yeah, it's unfortunate, but I don't remember.
[20:42] Kaz
    All I know is that I had a nice dream.
[20:45] Dark
    I-I see. Good, then.
[20:49] Dark
    Yeah, there's no helping it.
[20:51] Dark
    It was sort of an accident.
[20:53] Dark
    I'll try to forget about it, too.
[20:55] Kaz
    Last night, I was controlled by a succubus...
[21:00] Kaz
    That's the story I'm going with!
[21:01] Kaz
    A convenient explanation fell into my lap,
[21:03] Kaz
    so I may as well go with it.
[21:05] Dark
    Still, you were kind of overbearing
    at the time, and a little scary,
[21:10] Dark
    but it wasn't bad.
[21:12] Dark
    Although it was unacceptable
    for you to instill in me
[21:14] Dark
    whatever you pleased just
    because I was ignorant of it...
[21:17] Kaz
    Hey, it's not like you're really
    some inexperienced lady.
[21:21] Kaz
    Brush up on your common
    sense a little more.
[21:23] Dark
    Wha—
[21:24] Kaz
    Besides, what happened clearly
    wasn't my fault in any way.
[21:29] Kaz
    I lit the lantern, and I put up the
    sign saying the bath was in use.
[21:33] Kaz
    Who the heck pranked us like this?
[21:36] Dark
    H-Hey, you do remember last night, don't you?
[21:40] Dark
    Were those actions really caused
    by a succubus controlling you?!
[21:45] Dark
    Hey, Kazuma!
[21:49] Luna
    Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert!
[21:52] Luna
    The mobile fortress, Destroyer,
    is currently approaching this city!
[21:56] Dark
    What?!
[21:57] Kaz
    Huh? Destroyer?
SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 20 A knight must never leave their allies behind and run away, no matter how mighty the enemy. As an additional warning, you must never desire physical pain, or to receive sexual satisfaction. Having such thoughts is extremely abnormal, and knight or not, it is the lowest of acts you can perform as a human being.
SIGN    Episode 10
SIGN    A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress!
[23:30] Dark
    A knight must never run away,
    no matter how mighty the enemy.
[23:35] Dark
    As an additional warning, you must never
    desire physical pain, or to receive—

E10 - A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] Megu
    Darkness! That's not fair!
[00:16] Megu
    All right, then... Very well, very well.
[00:19] Megu
    Go ahead and do as you please.
[00:20] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma.
[00:21] Aqua
    Relinquish that spot to me,
    the exalted Aqua-sama.
[00:25] Kaz
    Huh?
[00:26] Aqua
    I'm level 21,
[00:28] Aqua
    the highest level in the party.
[00:31] Aqua
    You're being awfully impertinent
    for an under-leveled lowbie.
[00:34] Aqua
    If you get that, then give the spot
    nearest the fireplace to your superior.
[00:40] Kaz
    Huh?
[00:41] Kaz
    I don't think your stats have risen
    at all since I first saw them.
[00:46] Aqua
    Kazuma, you fool.
[00:47] Aqua
    My stats were obviously maxed
    out from the very start!
[00:51] Aqua
    You're mistaken to lump me together
    with ordinary adventurers.
[00:55] Megu
    Looks like my only choice now is
    to whip out my deadly teleport.
[00:58] Dark
    H-Hey, Megumin! That's not fair.
[01:01] Megu
    Those are the rules.
[01:02] Dark
    Huh?
[01:03] Megu
    Destroyer, explosion!
[01:05] Aqua
    Oh, what's this?
[01:07] Aqua
    You're being very obedient.
[01:11] Kaz
    That explains why
[01:12] Kaz
    her intelligence doesn't improve,
    no matter how much she levels up.
[01:17] Aqua
    Hey, wait.
[01:18] Aqua
    Why are you crying?
[01:20] Aqua
    What's with that look in your eyes,
    like you're staring at someone pitiful?
[01:24] Kaz
    Goodnight.
[01:25] Aqua
    Hey, Kazuma!
[01:27] Kaz
    We acquired a mansion.
[01:29] Kaz
    We resolved the matter of making it through
    winter, which had been our top concern.
[01:34] Kaz
    But we still have lots of
    problems left to solve...
[01:37] Aqua
    Sheesh! What's your problem?!
[01:57] Kaz
    Hey, what're you guys doing here?
[02:01] Keith
    Oh, it's you, Kazuma?
    Don't scare me like that.
[02:05] Kaz
    These guys are Keith and Dust,
    two adventurers I got to know recently.
[02:09] Kaz
    You're way too jumpy.
[02:11] Kaz
    Anyway, is there something down this way?
[02:17] Dust
    This is a secret only for male adventurers.
[02:21] Kaz
    Okay...
[02:21] Dust
    Have you heard of a shop
    covertly run by succubi
[02:24] Dust
    that lets you have nice dreams?
[02:29] Kaz
    Fill me in.
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    KONOSUBA
    God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 9
SIGN    "God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!"
[04:18] Kaz
    I don't think I could have come into
    a place like this on my own.
[04:23] Suc
    Welcome!
[04:25] Suc
    Please come this way.
[04:26] Kaz
    Uh, sure.
[04:28] C
    And his companions, right this way.
[04:30] Keith
    Y-Yes!
[04:31] Dust
    Okay...
[04:34] Suc
    Please wait just a moment.
[04:45] Kaz
    You're...
[04:48] Ruff
    Welcome to Hell's door.
[04:50] Ruff
    Do your best, you daredevil.
[04:53] Kaz
    S-Sure.
[04:56] Ruff
    I can hardly wait.
[04:58] Kaz
    Occupation... Artisan Weaver?
[05:01] Kaz
    Huh?
[05:02] Kaz
    He wasn't an adventurer?!
[05:04] Suc
    Sir?
[05:06] Suc
    Sir?
[05:07] Kaz
    Y-Yes?
[05:09] Suc
    Is this your first time at our shop?
[05:12] Kaz
    Oh, yes.
[05:13] Suc
    Well, then, I will explain.
[05:15] Kaz
    Please do.
[05:16] Suc
    We succubi have established
[05:17] Suc
    a mutually beneficial relationship with
    the male adventurers of this city.
[05:21] Kaz
    Yes.
[05:21] Suc
    Many adventurers live in stables, correct?
[05:25] Kaz
    Yes.
[05:25] Suc
    So, I believe males get pent-up in various ways.
[05:29] Suc
    But they are unable to do
    anything about it since
[05:32] Suc
    there are other adventurers
    sleeping all around them.
[05:35] Kaz
    I have nothing to feel guilty about, but...
[05:38] Kaz
    Yeah, there's nothing to feel guilty about!
[05:41] Suc
    Having said that,
[05:42] Suc
    if they were to try to make a move on
    a female adventurer sleeping nearby,
[05:45] Suc
    the other adventurers would notice
    instantly and beat them into submission.
[05:50] Suc
    Or it's possible the person
    he tried to mess around with
[05:53] Suc
    could cut his you-know-what
    off with a hidden dagger.
[05:56] Kaz
    Has that actually happened to anyone?
[06:00] Suc
    And so,
[06:01] Suc
    we succubi give male adventurers
    dreams that bring them relief.
[06:06] Suc
    We do end up taking a bit of your vitality,
[06:09] Suc
    but we do so in moderation
[06:11] Suc
    to ensure it won't affect
    your adventures or daily life.
[06:15] Kaz
    Wonderful! Beyond wonderful!
[06:19] Kaz
    If everyone could be in a
    constant state of afterglow,
[06:21] Kaz
    there would be no war!
[06:23] Suc
    Please write your order for your desired dream
[06:26] Suc
    on this questionnaire sheet.
[06:29] Kaz
    Um, there are entries for
[06:31] Kaz
    the customer's condition, gender,
    and appearance in the dream...
[06:35] Kaz
    Uh, what are these?
[06:37] Suc
    Those are for requests such as
    "I want to be a king or hero."
[06:41] Suc
    We have customers who want to try
    it from a female perspective, too.
[06:45] Kaz
    Really?
[06:48] Suc
    There are also those who
    wish to return to boyhood
[06:51] Suc
    and get pushed down by
    strong female adventurers.
[06:57] Kaz
    Are the men in this city all right?
[07:01] Kaz
    Oh, what about this "partner preferences"?
[07:04] Kaz
    How much can you actually configure?
[07:06] Suc
    Their personality, speech patterns,
[07:08] Suc
    appearance, and even how much they like you.
[07:10] Suc
    It can be anything or anyone,
[07:12] Suc
    whether they exist in real life or not.
[07:14] Kaz
    For real?!
[07:16] Suc
    For real.
[07:17] Kaz
    So a specific famous girl,
    a girl who's close to me,
[07:20] Kaz
    or even a 2D waifu would be possible?
[07:22] Suc
    Yes, though I don't know what a "2D waifu" is.
[07:27] Kaz
    Would the rights to one's likeness
    and so forth cause problems?
[07:31] Suc
    They wouldn't. It's a dream, after all.
[07:34] Kaz
    That's true!
[07:36] Kaz
    Would that mean there's no restriction
    on your partner's age, either?
[07:41] Kaz
    Oh, not that I intend to ask for that sort of thing.
[07:43] Kaz
    I just... How should I put it...
[07:45] Suc
    There is not.
[07:46] Suc
    Please choose whatever you like.
[07:48] Kaz
    I-Is that okay?
[07:51] Kaz
    In terms of, you know, regulations and stuff?
[07:54] Suc
    It's all right. It is a dream, after all.
[07:57] Kaz
    That's true!
[07:59] Kaz
    Yeah, there's no problem if it's in a dream!
[08:02] Kaz
    I can't believe this!
[08:03] Kaz
    Succubi erotic dream
    services are the greatest!
[08:07] Suc
    Oh, also, please be careful not to
    drink too much this evening, okay?
[08:10] Suc
    If you sleep too soundly,
    we can't show you any dreams.
[08:14] Kaz
    All right, understood!
[08:16] All
    KO-NOSUBA!
[08:19] Kaz
    I'm back.
[08:26] Aqua
    Be glad, Kazuma!
    Tonight's dinner is incredible!
[08:30] Aqua
    It's crab! Crab!
[08:32] Dark
    My family sent them to
    congratulate us on moving in.
[08:36] Aqua
    It's super high-grade marbled red crab,
[08:38] Aqua
    and it even came with this
    amazing, top-quality liquor!
[08:41] Aqua
    They said it's to thank
[08:42] Aqua
    their daughter's party members
    for always looking out for her!
[08:46] Megu
    I can hardly believe I'm laying
    my eyes on marbled red crab!
[08:49] Megu
    I've never been more glad that
    I joined this party than I am today.
[08:53] Kaz
    Is it that luxurious?
[08:55] Megu
    Of course!
[08:56] Megu
    If you told me I could eat this crab
[08:58] Megu
    in exchange for holding off on
    using explosion magic for the day,
[09:00] Megu
    I would restrain myself with pleasure,
[09:02] Megu
    and unleash my explosion
    magic after I've eaten!
[09:05] Megu
    That's how luxurious it is!
[09:08] Kaz
    Wow, that's aweso— Huh?
[09:10] Kaz
    What did you say at the end there?
[09:27] Kaz
    Gulp.
[09:37] Kaz
    Oh, no!
[09:38] Kaz
    I can't stop myself!
[09:42] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:44] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:46] Kaz
    Crack!
[09:50] Aqua
    Kazuma, Kazuma!
[09:51] Aqua
    Give me a little fire.
[09:53] Aqua
    I'll teach you a tasty way to drink this.
[09:57] Kaz
    Here. Tinder!
[10:00] Aqua
    Just place a shell filled with
    crab innards here, and...
[10:09] Aqua
    It should be ready.
[10:17] 3
    Gulp.
[10:19] Kaz
    M-Me, too!
[10:23] Kaz
    This is a trap!
[10:25] Kaz
    That succubus lady told me, didn't she?
[10:25] Dark
    That's a clever idea.
[10:27] Kaz
    If I drink too much and sleep soundly,
    I won't be able to dream!
[10:27] Aqua
    Isn't it? Nothing less from me!
[10:30] Megu
    Yeah!
[10:31] Megu
    Aqua, Aqua, what does it taste like?
[10:31] Dark
    Not going to drink? I'll go first, then.
[10:34] Kaz
    Calm down. I'm a man who's
    capable of self-restraint.
[10:35] Aqua
    Let me think... If I had to say, it's like...
[10:38] Kaz
    A man who possesses a will of steel
    and the strength to endure!
[10:45] Dark
    I could definitely drink this! It is good!
[10:48] Kaz
    Don't be tempted! I can't be tempted!
[10:50] Kaz
    I'm sure there'll be no stopping
    me once I get a taste!
[10:53] Megu
    Please give me some, too!
[10:54] Megu
    Just for today! What can it hurt?
[10:56] Dark
    No. I hear your whole life goes "poof"
    if you start drinking in childhood.
[11:00] Aqua
    Everyone drink up! I'm in a great mood now,
[11:03] Aqua
    so I'll show you the grand unveiling
    of my new party trick!
[11:06] Aqua
    A trick of the fingers...
[11:07] Aqua
    The mobile fortress, Destroyer!
[11:12] Megu
    Th-The form, shape, and movements!
[11:14] Megu
    It's the Destroyer for sure!
[11:16] Dark
    To think you could mimic that movement!
[11:18] Kaz
    Again, what the heck is a Destroyer?!
[11:21] Megu
    Aqua, do it again! Do it again!
[11:24] Aqua
    Art isn't something you can
    just show off when asked.
[11:26] Aqua
    It's something that presents itself
    naturally when the soul commands it.
[11:31] Dark
    What's wrong, Kazuma?
[11:33] Dark
    Did the food my family
    sent not suit your tastes?
[11:36] Kaz
    N-No! The crab is super tasty.
[11:39] Kaz
    It's just that I drank with some friends today
    and don't think I can drink any more.
[11:43] Kaz
    Tomorrow. I'll have some tomorrow.
[11:46] Dark
    I see.
[11:48] Kaz
    Stop! Don't give me such a genuine smile!
[11:52] Kaz
    You normally blurt out nothing but
[11:54] Kaz
    nasty stuff that creeps me out!
[11:56] Dark
    At least eat lots, then.
[11:59] Dark
    It's my thanks for everything.
[12:01] Kaz
    I kind of feel guilty...
[12:04] Kaz
    That's right.
[12:05] Kaz
    I should just drink with everyone
    and forget about the dream.
[12:09] Kaz
    Look at the faces of my allies here.
[12:11] Kaz
    Think about which is more important!
[12:14] Kaz
    Yes. There was never any need to worry
    about anything in the first place.
[12:22] Kaz
    Well, it's a little early,
[12:24] Kaz
    but I'm going to turn in.
[12:27] Kaz
    Goodnight, everyone.
[12:29] 4
    KONOSUBA!
[12:35] Kaz
    Crap, now my heart is pounding.
[12:37] Kaz
    Aw, what should I do? What should I do?
[12:42] Kaz
    I'm so nervous, expectant,
    and turned on that I can't sleep!
[12:55] Kaz
    I'm just having them give me a dream,
[12:57] Kaz
    but etiquette is important.
[13:15] Kaz
    The lantern flame went out?
[13:22] Kaz
    Hey, whoa, whoa! No, wait...
[13:24] Kaz
    I felt drowsy earlier and closed my eyes.
[13:27] Kaz
    That would mean this is...
[13:31] Kaz
    A dream?!
[13:35] Dark
    The moon really is pretty toni—
[13:41] Kaz
    Yo.
[13:49] Dark
    Wh-Wh... Wh-Wh-Wh...
[13:56] Kaz
    I always imagined she had a sexy body,
    but this is better than I imagined.
[14:03] Kaz
    Maybe the succubus adjusted
    her to suit my tastes.
[14:06] Dark
    H-Hey, Kazu—
[14:10] Kaz
    What's the matter, Darkness?
[14:16] Kaz
    Come on over here.
[14:19] Kaz
    You can start by washing my back.
[14:21] Dark
    Ah... Huh?
[14:26] Kaz
    What's with that reaction?
[14:28] Kaz
    It's kind of new. I like it.
[14:30] Kaz
    Still, why were you the one
    to appear in my dream?
[14:34] Kaz
    Maybe I shouldn't have requested a
    beautiful older woman with a hot body?
[14:37] Dark
    Wh-What are you talking about?
[14:40] Kaz
    Is this strange?
[14:40] Dark
    I, um, I mean... I have so many questions
    that my brain can't quite keep up,
[14:42] Kaz
    What could it be?
[14:44] Dark
    like why you're so calm,
    about washing your back,
[14:47] Dark
    what you mean by a "dream,"
    and what this is all about...
[14:50] Kaz
    Whoops, playing hard-to-get wasn't
    one of the settings I chose.
[14:54] Kaz
    Though, I did write that I wanted a shy
    older woman who was inexperienced.
[14:59] Kaz
    I guess this works, then.
[15:01] Dark
    Huh?
[15:01] Kaz
    There's no way around you
    being set to be inexperienced,
[15:06] Kaz
    but please hurry and wash my back.
[15:07] Dark
    U-Um...
[15:09] Dark
    Is me washing your back considered
    common sense in this situation?
[15:14] Kaz
    Hurry! I can't stand it anymore,
    in all sorts of ways!
[15:17] Dark
    Y-Y-You...
[15:18] Dark
    Do you understand what's going on right now?
[15:21] Dark
    If Aqua or Megumin found out about this...
[15:24] Kaz
    If that happens, why don't
    we all just get in together?
[15:28] Dark
    What's wrong with you?
    Seriously, what's wrong with you today?!
[15:32] Kaz
    Hey, you're being awfully noisy.
    What time do you think it is?
[15:35] Kaz
    Think about how much you're
    bothering the neighbors!
[15:37] Kaz
    One can only be so unsensible, you know.
[15:39] Dark
    Saying something sensible in this situation
    won't do any good at this point!
[15:44] Dark
    Is it me? Am I the one with no common sense?
[15:47] Dark
    Am I the strange one?!
[15:48] Kaz
    Yeah, you're always strange in general.
[15:52] Kaz
    Oh, this is a dream, so I guess it's
    no problem if you make noise.
[15:55] Kaz
    All right.
[15:57] Kaz
    Please go ahead, then.
[16:09] Dark
    Why is this happening?
[16:11] Dark
    Still, it's pathetic that my disposition
[16:14] Dark
    prevents me from resisting
    when you order me so brazenly.
[16:17] Kaz
    This feels new in all sorts of ways.
[16:19] Kaz
    I'm the one who's usually creeped out by you,
[16:22] Kaz
    so it's nice seeing you shy
    and embarrassed for a change.
[16:25] Dark
    Wh-Why, you...
[16:27] Dark
    You're talking and acting
    like some old man today!
[16:30] Dark
    C-Come on, that's enough, right?
[16:33] Dark
    C-Can I leave now?
[16:36] Kaz
    Don't be foolish!
[16:38] Kaz
    I know I set you to be inexperienced,
[16:39] Kaz
    but don't you know what routinely comes next?
[16:42] Kaz
    Next you dry me without using a towel.
[16:44] Dark
    This is not right!
[16:45] Dark
    No matter how inexperienced
    I may be, that's definitely...
[16:49] Kaz
    Hurry...
[16:49] Dark
    totally...
[16:52] Dark
    wrong...
[16:54] Kaz
    Hurry...
[16:57] Kaz
    Hurry!
[17:04] Aqua
    Intruder! Show yourself!
[17:07] Aqua
    Everyone, there's an intruder in the mansion!
[17:09] Kaz
    Huh?
[17:09] Dark
    Aqua's voice?
[17:10] Kaz
    I didn't ask to be forced to wait at this point!
[17:13] Kaz
    Even in my dreams, she gets in my way!
[17:16] Kaz
    I'm gonna go complain!
[17:17] Dark
    K-Kazuma?
[17:20] Kaz
    Hey, Aqua!
[17:23] Aqua
    Look, look!
[17:24] Aqua
    An intruder got caught in my barrier,
    and now she's immobilized...
[17:28] Aqua
    We've got another suspicious guy here!
[17:29] Kaz
    Who're you calling suspicious?!
[17:33] Kaz
    Oh, a succubus girl?
[17:36] Aqua
    This succubus got caught in the barrier,
    and now she's immobilized.
[17:40] Aqua
    I'm positive she was after you, Kazuma.
[17:43] Kaz
    What the heck? This is strange. Really strange.
[17:46] Kaz
    Wait, was that "Darkness"
    I ran into in the bathroom...
[17:51] Aqua
    I'll do an exorcism right away.
[17:53] Megu
    Just be good and let us destroy you.
[17:57] Aqua
    Just resign yourself.
[17:59] Aqua
    I'm going to use an extraordinarily
    powerful anti-devil—
[18:02] Aqua
    Huh?
[18:06] Suc
    Huh?
[18:09] Kaz
    Run away.
[18:10] Suc
    B-But...
[18:12] Aqua
    What're you doing?
[18:13] Aqua
    She's a devil who came here to
    attack you and steal your vitality!
[18:16] Megu
    Are you insane, Kazuma?
[18:19] Suc
    Sir, it is due to my inexperience
[18:22] Suc
    and failure to break in that
    this has come to pass.
[18:25] Suc
    I can't allow you to humiliate yourself.
[18:28] Suc
    I will accept my elimination,
[18:30] Suc
    so just pretend you don't know anything.
[18:35] Suc
    Sir?
[18:36] Aqua
    What's the big idea?
[18:37] Aqua
    There's no way a goddess like myself
[18:39] Aqua
    can let that devil get away.
[18:42] Aqua
    Kazuma, if you don't want us
    to beat you into submission,
[18:45] Aqua
    then move aside.
[18:50] Dark
    Kazuma has been charmed by that
    succubus and is under her control!
[18:54] Dark
    He's been acting weird since a little while ago!
[18:57] Dark
    He's been blurting out things about dreams
    and settings and so forth, so I'm sure of it!
[19:02] Dark
    You accursed succubus, you put me
    through so much humiliation...
[19:05] Dark
    I'll slaughter you!
[19:07] Megu
    Kazuma, she may be cute, but she's still a devil,
[19:09] Megu
    a monster.
[19:11] Megu
    Have you gone mad?
[19:13] Kaz
    Go.
[19:15] Suc
    But...
[19:16] Aqua
    It looks like I'll have to settle this
    score with Kazuma right here and now.
[19:21] Aqua
    Once I've pulverized you,
[19:23] Aqua
    I'll perform that succubus's last rites.
[19:31] Kaz
    Fine.
[19:39] Kaz
    There are some things you
    absolutely must protect.
[19:45] Kaz
    Bring it on!
[19:58] Megu
    The succubus ran away, huh?
[20:01] Aqua
    Better toss some salt.
[20:03] 4
    KONOSUBA!
SIGN    The Next Day
[20:10] Dark
    Glance...
[20:15] Kaz
    Hey, talk to me already.
[20:18] Kaz
    Besides, I think you're part of the problem,
[20:20] Kaz
    since you got caught up in the mood, too.
[20:28] Dark
    You really don't remember what
    happened last night, right?
[20:33] Dark
    You don't have any memory of it
    since you were being controlled
[20:37] Dark
    by that succubus, right?
[20:39] Kaz
    Yeah, it's unfortunate, but I don't remember.
[20:42] Kaz
    All I know is that I had a nice dream.
[20:45] Dark
    I-I see. Good, then.
[20:49] Dark
    Yeah, there's no helping it.
[20:51] Dark
    It was sort of an accident.
[20:53] Dark
    I'll try to forget about it, too.
[20:55] Kaz
    Last night, I was controlled by a succubus...
[21:00] Kaz
    That's the story I'm going with!
[21:01] Kaz
    A convenient explanation fell into my lap,
[21:03] Kaz
    so I may as well go with it.
[21:05] Dark
    Still, you were kind of overbearing
    at the time, and a little scary,
[21:10] Dark
    but it wasn't bad.
[21:12] Dark
    Although it was unacceptable
    for you to instill in me
[21:14] Dark
    whatever you pleased just
    because I was ignorant of it...
[21:17] Kaz
    Hey, it's not like you're really
    some inexperienced lady.
[21:21] Kaz
    Brush up on your common
    sense a little more.
[21:23] Dark
    Wha—
[21:24] Kaz
    Besides, what happened clearly
    wasn't my fault in any way.
[21:29] Kaz
    I lit the lantern, and I put up the
    sign saying the bath was in use.
[21:33] Kaz
    Who the heck pranked us like this?
[21:36] Dark
    H-Hey, you do remember last night, don't you?
[21:40] Dark
    Were those actions really caused
    by a succubus controlling you?!
[21:45] Dark
    Hey, Kazuma!
[21:49] Luna
    Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert!
[21:52] Luna
    The mobile fortress, Destroyer,
    is currently approaching this city!
[21:56] Dark
    What?!
[21:57] Kaz
    Huh? Destroyer?
SIGN    Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 20 A knight must never leave their allies behind and run away, no matter how mighty the enemy. As an additional warning, you must never desire physical pain, or to receive sexual satisfaction. Having such thoughts is extremely abnormal, and knight or not, it is the lowest of acts you can perform as a human being.
SIGN    Episode 10
SIGN    A Final Flame for this Over-the-top Fortress!
[23:30] Dark
    A knight must never run away,
    no matter how mighty the enemy.
[23:35] Dark
    As an additional warning, you must never
    desire physical pain, or to receive—

OVA1 - God's Blessings on This Wonderful Choker!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Kids
    My turn!
[00:04] K
    Hey, Wiz. We came to visit.
[00:07] W
    Kazuma-san! You're all here!
[00:10] W
    Welcome to the store.
[00:12] D
    Pardon the intrusion.
[00:13] A
    Why did we have to come
    to some undead's shop?
[00:23] YY
    Y-You just saw me, didn't you?!
    Why are you ignoring me?
[00:29] M
    Well, if it isn't my
    self-proclaimed rival, Yunyun.
[00:32] YY
    Don't say it's self-proclaimed!
[00:34] M
    Oh? Is that wrong?
[00:36] YY
    I-It is! I really am your rival!
[00:40] K
    This is a Crimson Demon girl
    we've recently gotten to know.
[00:44] K
    She calls herself Megumin's rival,
[00:46] K
    and challenges her every time
    they run into each other, but...
[00:49] YY
    Now, Megumin,
[00:50] YY
    it's a complete and total coincidence
    that we met here, but no matter!
[00:55] YY
    Today we're settling this!
SIGN    Episode 11
SIGN    "God's Blessings On This Wonderful Choker!"
[02:28] YY
    Come on! Come on!
[02:32] M
    Settle what, exactly?
[02:34] M
    I've won nearly every contest
    you've challenged me to.
[02:37] YY
    Sh-Shut up, you!
[02:40] YY
    Sorry...
[02:41] YY
    We'll do this outside so we won't
    cause trouble in your store.
[02:45] W
    Oh, it's okay.
[02:46] W
    I know that the reason
    you started shopping here
[02:49] W
    was because you heard that Megumin-san
    and her friends come by sometimes.
[02:55] YY
    E-Excuse me!
[02:56] YY
    I'd like to buy this today!
    What a cool-looking choker!
[03:00] K
    Wait, has she been coming here all
    the time hoping to run into Megumin?
[03:05] D
    Look, Yunyun... I mean...
[03:08] D
    You can always just visit
    our mansion, all right?
[03:11] YY
    What? R-Really?
[03:14] YY
    But if I show up with snacks and drinks,
    you won't look at me like,
[03:18] YY
    "Wow, you actually came? Can't you
    tell when someone is just being nice?"
[03:21] YY
    and act really annoyed, will you?
[03:23] M
    You are as irritating as ever!
[03:26] M
    If you want to come by, just do it whenever!
[03:30] M
    So, what are we going to do?
    Aren't we having a contest?
[03:33] YY
    Hang on, Megumin!
[03:36] YY
    I don't get to talk to this
    many people very often.
[03:40] YY
    Can the contest wait
    until this evening, maybe?
[03:43] M
    You can never make up your mind, can you?
[03:46] M
    That's the problem with you loner types!
[03:47] A
    Hey, can I get some tea over here?
[03:50] A
    And something to eat, while you're at it.
[03:52] W
    Right, Aqua-sama!
    I'll grab something right away!
[03:58] D
    Are you okay?!
[04:00] W
    Sorry! I'm all right!
[04:02] A
    Hey, we're losing daylight here!
[04:05] K
    This bunch is always so noisy...
[04:08] W
    Are you okay?
[04:09] K
    I could really go for some comfort.
[04:13] K
    What's this?
[04:16] K
    "An uncharacteristically popular
    item sold at our shop."
[04:20] K
    "A choker that can grant wishes."
[04:22] K
    I'm not sure a shop should say an item's
    popularity is "uncharacteristic"...
[04:26] K
    And the price is a relatively
    steep 100,000 eris.
[04:29] M
    What are these?!
    What are these boobs of yours?!
[04:32] M
    Have they grown again?!
[04:33] M
    Are you showing them off?!
[04:35] YY
    Cut it out! Don't get mad at me
    just because yours won't grow!
[04:35] ---
    Damn you!
[04:38] M
    They're so bouncy!
[04:39] A
    Uh, excuse me. This tea is barely warm.
[04:42] A
    This is the problem with you undead
    and your low body temperatures...
[04:45] W
    I'm so sorry, Aqua-sama!
[04:47] D
    What is this "potion that attracts beasts"?
[04:50] D
    F-For instance, would it make
    men who are beastlike
[04:52] D
    in certain ways find you more attractive?
[04:55] W
    It's a potion that attracts
    beast-type monsters.
[04:58] W
    It makes monsters attack you one after
    another, without a moment's rest.
[05:02] D
    I'll take it!
[05:03] W
    Huh? Are you sure?
[05:06] W
    You really won't have a moment's rest...
[05:07] K
    So it's an item that increases
    your luck when equipped?
[05:14] D
    K-Kazuma-san!
[05:16] D
    Th-Th-That's...
[05:18] K
    Oh, the wish-granting choker?
[05:21] K
    Should I not have tried it on?
[05:24] W
    Th-That's a magic item that stays
    on until your wish comes true,
[05:27] W
    and it tightens every day
    that wish isn't granted!
[05:30] K
    You mean it's cursed?!
[05:32] W
    No, it's not! It's really popular with women!
[05:35] W
    It helps them get really, really
    motivated to lose weight...
[05:40] K
    You have to grant your wish yourself?
    Is this some kind of joke?!
[05:44] A
    So what did you wish for anyway, Kazuma?
[05:47] K
    Well, I didn't even wish for
    anything in particular.
[05:51] W
    That's bad, Kazuma-san!
[05:53] W
    If we don't do something, the choker will
    gradually tighten, and in four days...
[05:56] K
    You're saying I'm gonna die because
    of some stupid dieting gimmick?!
[06:00] YY
    It's my fault.
[06:01] YY
    Kazuma-san picked up that choker
    because I dropped it, and now he's...
[06:06] M
    It's my fault for yelling at you, too, Yunyun.
[06:09] D
    No, if Wiz hadn't been
    distracted by Aqua and me...
[06:13] D
    I'm sorry, Kazuma.
[06:15] W
    It's really my fault!
[06:17] W
    I shouldn't have left something
    so dangerous on the store shelf.
[06:24] W
    Kazuma-san...
[06:26] W
    I'll do whatever it takes
    to get that choker off.
[06:29] W
    Don't worry!
[06:31] YY
    I'll help, too!
[06:32] M
    Wh-When the Crimson Demons' greatest
    sorceress prodigy gets to work,
[06:35] M
    removing a magic item
    like that is child's play!
[06:38] D
    You'll have my help, as well!
[06:42] A
    Hey, I didn't do anything wrong!
[06:44] A
    But just for the record...
[06:46] A
    Sorry! If you die, I'll be sure
    to cast Resurrection on you.
[06:52] K
    Maybe I won't come back
    to life next time I die.
[06:55] K
    I'll go on strike from living.
[06:57] A
    Wh-What are you saying?
[06:59] A
    Don't the two of us have
    to slay the Devil King?
[07:02] K
    Not to mention, if I die, you take sole
    possession of our considerable debt.
[07:07] A
    Fine!
[07:08] A
    You just want me to help, too, right?!
[07:11] A
    We'll do whatever you want
    until that choker comes off!
[07:15] K
    Did you just say "whatever you want"?
[07:22] W
    U-Um, Kazuma-san?
[07:25] K
    Kazuma here.
[07:26] W
    I-Is it... comfortable?
[07:30] K
    Your thighs are nice and cool, Wiz.
[07:33] K
    And very soft.
[07:35] K
    Plus...
[07:37] K
    Seeing how embarrassed
    it makes you is great.
[07:40] W
    I-I see...
[07:41] W
    Well, um... th-thank you?
[07:45] K
    A wish-granting choker...
[07:47] K
    This is much better than I thought!
[07:49] K
    I've got four whole days
    until it strangles me.
[07:52] K
    I'm sure it'll work out.
[07:54] M
    It's only his first wish, and he's already
    putting his lust on full display.
[07:58] D
    Very well!
[07:59] D
    I don't know what it is you want,
[08:01] D
    but I can deal with anything you—
[08:03] K
    Ditch the armor and give me 100 push-ups.
[08:15] D
    One... two...
[08:19] D
    three... four...
[08:22] D
    five... six...
[08:26] K
    seven...
[08:27] K
    Now this isn't bad at all.
[08:30] D
    I-I'm being exposed to his
    animalistic, hungry gaze
[08:32] D
    with no means of escape!
[08:35] D
    In his head, I'm surely being reduced
[08:37] D
    to an even more shameful state...
[08:41] D
    St—
[08:42] D
    Stop it!
[08:44] D
    And yet... as a knight, I must not yield!
[08:49] A
    Unbelievable...
[08:50] A
    He's going to use beautiful girls like us
    to fulfill his every twisted desire!
[08:57] K
    Go grab me a yakisoba bun,
    and make it snappy.
[08:59] A
    Why?!
[09:02] W
    Aqua-sama!
[09:04] K
    Now, then...
[09:07] K
    You two are rivals, right?
[09:09] M
    No, that's just Yunyun's idea.
[09:11] K
    The two of you are going to
    have a little competition.
[09:16] YY
    W-Well, if you insist!
    I challenge you, Megumin!
[09:19] M
    Why are you so happy about this?
[09:22] K
    I will decide the contest,
[09:25] K
    and the winner will be chosen
    at my discretion, as I see fit.
[09:33] W
    Excuse me...
[09:37] W
    Shouldn't you be face-up when
    using someone's lap as a pillow?
[09:41] K
    Where I was born, we do
    it like this sometimes.
[09:44] W
    R-Really?
[09:46] A
    'ere you ahr!
[09:47] W
    Too slow! And I think you mean,
    "I brought your food, sir!"
[09:50] A
    Fuhd, shur!
[09:56] K
    Hey...
[09:57] K
    You ate half of this, didn't you?
[10:00] A
    Dih noth!
[10:01] K
    She's got her cheeks stuffed
    like a damn squirrel!
[10:04] YYM
    Rock, paper, scissors!
[10:08] M
    It is the law of this world to grant me victory.
[10:17] A
    What are those two doing?
[10:19] K
    Strip rock-paper-scissors.
[10:21] A
    You are shockingly straightforward
    with what you want, aren't you?
[10:24] A
    Even I'm creeped out by that.
[10:27] M
    Yunyun... At this rate,
    we're both going to suffer.
[10:32] YY
    A-As the one who'll lead the
    Crimson Demons one day,
[10:35] YY
    I can't afford to lose to you, Megumin!
[10:37] M
    You decide to be stubborn now?!
[10:40] A
    You're not planning to have
    me do that next, are you?
[10:44] K
    Next, go buy some expensive bubbly.
[10:46] A
    Why?!
[10:49] W
    Aqua-sama!
[10:52] MYY
    Rock, paper, scissors!
[10:54] MYY
    One more time! One more time!
[10:57] MYY
    Again! Again! Again!
[10:59] MYY
    Rock, paper, scissors!
[11:03] MYY
    One more time! One more time!
[11:06] K
    If you tie three more times,
    you both have to take something off.
[11:16] M
    Yunyun...
[11:18] M
    I have faith in you.
[11:20] M
    You're my rival, and my friend.
[11:23] M
    I know you wouldn't be led
    astray by what he says.
[11:27] YY
    Megumin...
[11:28] YY
    I have faith in you, too.
[11:31] YY
    Let's go! One more time!
[11:42] M
    What?! Are you just mad because you lost?!
[11:45] M
    Hey! Stop that! I'm going to fall out!
[11:49] M
    Stop it already!
[11:50] W
    Um, uh, Kazuma-san,
    should you stop them?
[11:54] K
    Wiz...
[11:55] K
    I can't help it.
[11:57] K
    This is the only way to get
    the choker to come off.
[12:02] W
    I guess you're right...
[12:04] K
    Thank you for being so understanding.
[12:07] D
    Kazuma!
[12:08] D
    I've finished the hundred push-ups!
[12:11] D
    I didn't think you'd leave me alone in there.
[12:14] D
    The humiliation and isolation were so—
[12:16] K
    Next up is 100 sit-ups.
[12:21] K
    KONOSUBA!
[12:31] A
    I've been defiled... I'm a goddess,
    but I've been defiled...
[12:38] W
    Um... Has the choker come off yet?
[12:42] K
    It's terribly unfortunate,
[12:44] K
    but it looks like we'll have to keep making
    my wishes come true tomorrow, too.
[12:50] K
    KO! NO! SU! BA!
[12:54] K
    KONOSUBA!
[12:59] K
    After that, I continued to grant all
    the wishes I could come up with.
[13:03] A
    Why am I doing this?
[13:07] D
    More exercise today?
[13:13] YY
    This is embarrassing...
[13:14] M
    Something about this choice of
    clothing seems malicious to me.
[13:22] K
    Oh, nice! Okay, next!
[13:34] D
    I just have to wash myself?
[13:39] K
    Yes. Nothing more.
[13:41] K
    And I will watch!
[13:44] A
    You're going to defile the goddess
    again today, aren't you?
[13:47] A
    What are you going to make me do?
[13:48] Kazuma
    I want you to find us a natural hot spring.
[13:51] Kazuma
    You can do that, right?
[13:52] A
    Huh? Why?
[13:54] K
    You're a water goddess, aren't you?
[13:56] K
    Wait, I'm sorry. It was the
    goddess of party tricks, wasn't it?
[13:59] A
    Fine! I'll do it!
[14:02] A
    I'll show you what a goddess can do!
[14:05] YY
    A-Are you itchy anywhere?
[14:09] K
    If I had to say, maybe in front.
[14:11] M
    What? Your d***?
[14:13] M
    Just rip that thing off.
[14:18] K
    Oh, I think the choker's starting to tighten.
[14:23] K
    What should I do? Am I gonna die?
[14:28] K
    Go on! Go on, do it!
[14:30] K
    Go on, now!
[14:32] K
    What're you you so scared of?
    You're the one who mentioned my d***!
[14:33] YY
    Megumin!
[14:35] K
    Go on! Rip it off! Hurry it up, now!
[14:37] K
    Try and rip it off!
[14:39] K
    My d***!
[14:39] A
    It's coming... I can sense it...
[14:41] K
    Go on!
[14:43] K
    Quickly, now!
[14:45] K
    Go ahead!
[14:48] A
    Here it comes!
[15:00] A
    KO! NO! SU! BA!
[15:08] K
    Why won't it come off?
[15:10] K
    Every wish I can think of has been granted...
[15:14] M
    All the wishes you could
    think up were perverted?
[15:19] K
    What am I missing?
[15:22] K
    Wiz, could you give me something to drink?
[15:25] W
    Oh, okay.
[15:25] K
    From your mouth, I mean.
[15:29] A
    Oh, enough!
[15:30] A
    Tomorrow's the fourth day!
[15:32] A
    It seems pretty clear that your
    disgusting wishes aren't working!
[15:35] K
    What was that, you useless goddess?!
[15:35] YY
    Maybe my specialty magic,
    Light of Saber, could do something...
[15:36] K
    You sure you're not just doing
    a bad job granting them?!
[15:38] A
    I've been doing my best, for your information!
[15:40] M
    I get it.
[15:40] K
    And how dare you call it disgusting?!
[15:41] M
    Then, after we've cut Kazuma's head off,
    we can easily remove the choker?
[15:42] K
    Taking a drink from a girl's
    mouth is the dream of every man!
[15:45] YY
    He'd be dead!
[15:47] YY
    I just wondered if there was a
    way to cut only the choker off!
[15:50] D
    Kazuma! Kazuma!
[15:51] D
    You're being gradually strangled...
[15:54] D
    What's it feel like?!
[15:55] D
    Is it the best, Kazuma?!
[15:57] D
    Is the grip slowly tightening
    around you fantastic?!
[16:00] K
    Stop it!
[16:01] A
    Isn't there anything else you want?
[16:08] K
    I can't think of anything.
[16:09] M
    Well, you'd better come up with something!
[16:11] M
    I can't afford to have you die!
[16:24] M
    Tomorrow's the last day...
[16:28] M
    Oh, it's you, Yunyun.
[16:31] YY
    Why are you trying so hard
    for Kazuma-san's sake?
[16:38] M
    If Kazuma is gone,
[16:39] M
    who will carry me home after
    I've used my explosion magic?
[16:44] M
    His existence is a necessity
    for my mastery of explosions!
[16:50] M
    Besides...
[17:21] M
    Kazuma is my friend.
[17:23] M
    The greatest mind of the Crimson Demons
[17:25] M
    would never forsake a friend.
[17:28] YY
    I understand.
[17:30] YY
    I'm partly responsible for
    what happened to him, too.
[17:33] YY
    Let's make sure we
    get that choker off him!
[17:37] M
    There's no telling what awful
    things he'll have you do.
[17:40] YY
    I-It's okay, as long as I'm with you!
[17:43] YY
    N-Now, I didn't mean anything by that!
[17:55] K
    Thanks, everyone.
[17:56] K
    I had a great time.
[18:00] M
    Uh... Do you have any more terrible
    commands, like yesterday?
[18:04] K
    It's fine.
[18:06] K
    Thanks for indulging me.
[18:08] K
    I'm really grateful.
[18:10] D
    A-All I did was exercise and wash myself!
[18:14] D
    You could always give me nastier... orders?
[18:19] K
    I have lived a very shameful life.
[18:22] K
    Living every moment for your desires
    leaves nothing but emptiness.
[18:27] M
    Do scumbags lose the will to live
    once all their desires are sated?
[18:33] K
    Once I'm dead, you can have this tracksuit.
[18:36] K
    Let it be the proof that
    I lived in this world.
[18:40] A
    H-Hang on...
[18:42] K
    Aqua.
[18:46] K
    The yakisoba bun and bubbly you bought
[18:49] K
    were very delicious.
[19:03] W
    Kazuma-san...
[19:05] M
    Kazuma...
[19:06] W
    Kazuma-san...
[19:07] D
    Kazuma...
[19:18] A
    Don't die, Kazuma.
[19:20] A
    We're going to bring down the
    Devil King together, right?
[19:23] M
    True...
[19:25] W
    I won't let you die!
[19:28] W
    Please... You can ask for anything!
[19:33] K
    This is what it feels
    like to be comforted?
[19:43] K
    I see.
[19:44] K
    Then, since it's the end, there are
    some things I'd like to apologize for.
[19:49] K
    Megumin...
[19:51] K
    When I would carry you home
    after you used explosion magic,
[19:55] K
    I tried to get a feel for your
    breasts as much as possible
[19:58] K
    by shaking you around and
    changing my posture a lot.
[20:02] K
    I'm sorry.
[20:04] K
    Yunyun, Wiz...
[20:06] K
    If I'm being honest,
    whenever I talk with you two,
[20:08] K
    my line of sight is fixed on your chests.
[20:11] K
    Wiz has so much to look at,
[20:13] K
    and Yunyun's outfit is so
    sexy around the chest.
[20:15] K
    And I actually thought it was your
    fault, for having bodies like that.
[20:20] K
    I'm sorry.
[20:21] K
    Darkness...
[20:23] K
    Since we started living together here,
[20:25] K
    all I've really seen you as is boobs.
[20:28] K
    You are boobs.
[20:30] K
    Boobs.
[20:32] K
    Sorry.
[20:34] A
    You're going to spout some heresy
    about a goddess like me, too?
[20:38] K
    Aqua, when we were sleeping
    in the horse stables...
[20:46] (Flashback) A
    I can't eat another bite...
[20:49] K
    I tried desperately to see you as some kind
    of love interest, but I just couldn't do it.
[20:55] K
    I'm sorry.
[20:57] A
    Don't give up so easily, Kazuma-san!
[20:59] A
    Don't give up!
[21:01] A
    Please, I'm begging you!
[21:03] K
    I have no regrets left.
[21:05] K
    Thank you all for everything.
[21:12] K
    Huh? Why?
[21:17] (Flashback) K
    I could really go for some comfort.
[21:20] K
    My wish... was to be comforted?
[21:29] K
    Uh, everyone, that's the
    look you save for garbage.
[21:32] A
    Hey, crappy NEET.
[21:35] A
    Why don't you try putting
    this choker on again?
[21:38] A
    It's okay. Your kind friends
    are sure to help you out.
[21:56] E
    Well...
[21:57] E
    Can I just say one thing?
[22:00] K
    Go ahead.
[22:03] E
    Try not to die over something as silly as this.
[22:07] K
    I have no excuse!