E5 - Kaguya Wants to Handle It - Miyuki Shirogane Wants to Show Off - Kaguya Wants to Be Covered

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    The seasonal uniform change!
[00:04] ---
    It's been so muggy lately, you know?
[00:06] ---
    Even just changing into short sleeves
    feels much more comfortable.
[00:09] ---
    Right.
[01:46] ---
    RESPONSIBILITY AND DUTY
[01:47] ---
    Relationship advice?
[01:49] ---
    Yes! I don't know what to do.
[01:53] ---
    But I heard that the student council
    gives advice for that kind of thing, too.
[01:54] ---
    KAGUYA WANTS TO HANDLE IT
[01:57] ---
    You're the only one I can count on,
    Miss Kaguya!
[02:00] ---
    Understood.
[02:02] ---
    The president here often says
    that lending an ear to the students' troubles
[02:06] ---
    is also a duty of the student council.
[02:09] ---
    So,
[02:10] ---
    what's the trouble?
[02:13] ---
    I want to know how to break up
    smoothly with my boyfriend.
[02:19] ---
    I thought it would be
    two or three steps before that point!
[02:25] ---
    Advice about having a boyfriend.
[02:28] ---
    You're really popular, and I'm sure
    you know a lot about love!
[02:31] ---
    But I've never even gone out with anyone,
    so how could I possibly answer that?
[02:32] ---
    I knew I could come to you
    for a great idea!
[02:38] ---
    Her expectations are too high!
[02:39] ---
    But Shinomiya gave romantic advice once,
[02:43] ---
    so there's no way
    I can tell her it's beyond me!
[02:45] ---
    I'll just have to get through it somehow!
[02:47] ---
    Why do you want to break up?
[02:49] ---
    Actually, he suddenly asked me out.
[02:53] ---
    Bam!
[02:55] ---
    I said, "Okay" on the spur of the moment,
[02:58] ---
    but I didn't really know him.
[03:00] ---
    And I don't really know
    how to communicate with him either.
[03:03] ---
    In fact, there's more distance
    between us now than before.
[03:06] ---
    I feel guilty about it,
[03:08] ---
    so if it's going to be like this, I figured
    maybe we're better off just breaking up.
[03:15] ---
    I see.
[03:17] ---
    Until just before,
    you were strangers to each other.
[03:19] ---
    So I can see where you're coming from.
[03:23] ---
    You don't hate him, though, do you?
[03:25] ---
    Of course not. But I don't know
    if what I feel for him is love.
[03:31] ---
    Why don't you start
    by telling me his good points?
[03:36] ---
    What I like about him?
[03:37] ---
    Yes. Everyone has strong points
    or something that's cute about them.
[03:42] ---
    For example, he's honest
    or he does well academically.
[03:47] ---
    Maybe he studies hard
    or he's actually really kind
[03:51] ---
    and can't turn his back
    on someone who's in trouble.
[03:55] ---
    Maybe he has a menacing look.
[03:58] ---
    A menacing look is a drawback.
[04:00] ---
    No! Being bothered
    by your own menacing look is cute!
[04:05] ---
    You like boys who have menacing looks?
[04:08] ---
    Forget I said that.
[04:09] ---
    The only person around you
    with a menacing look that I can think of...
[04:13] ---
    That's the wrong idea.
    Now let's continue.
[04:16] ---
    If you find one good thing about him
    and start to appreciate that,
[04:21] ---
    you'll soon be able to see
    many of his good points,
[04:23] ---
    and the next thing you know,
    you're unable to take your eyes off of him.
[04:27] ---
    And if you see him every day...
[04:28] ---
    little by little, you'll fall in love.
[04:33] ---
    That's what an acquaintance told me!
[04:34] ---
    I'm not talking about me!
[04:36] ---
    Really?
[04:38] ---
    It's really not about me!
[04:40] ---
    Because there isn't anyone
    I'm in love with!
[04:42] ---
    But the way you said it...
[04:44] ---
    I overheard!
[04:46] ---
    Miss Fujiwara?
[04:48] ---
    It's no fair to have girls' talk without me!
[04:51] ---
    Please leave an issue like that
    to Love Detective Chika!
[04:53] ---
    LOVE DETECTIVE CHIKA
[04:56] ---
    Why are you breathing hard?
[04:58] ---
    Actually, I was here from the beginning,
[05:01] ---
    but made a mad dash to the drama club
    to borrow this costume.
[05:05] ---
    You're in a quandary, because you can't
    find your feelings for him.
[05:08] ---
    Right?
[05:10] ---
    Yes.
[05:11] ---
    Then this great detective will find
    that lost property called "love"
[05:14] ---
    and return it to you.
[05:17] ---
    So, imagine him flirting with another girl.
[05:22] ---
    What is this?
[05:24] ---
    Just try to imagine it.
[05:33] ---
    Gloomy.
[05:33] ---
    GLOOMY...
[05:35] ---
    Grrr.
[05:35] ---
    GRRR GRRR
[05:39] ---
    I didn't like that feeling.
[05:41] ---
    Right?
[05:42] ---
    In other words, that's jealousy.
[05:44] ---
    You don't like that image
    because you like him.
[05:49] ---
    The more unpleasant the feeling,
    the deeper the love!
[05:53] ---
    Love?
[05:55] ---
    So, you also like him, Miss Kashiwagi.
[05:56] ---
    No, there's no way.
[05:58] ---
    I don't feel that way about the president,
    right? I mean, come on.
[06:00] ---
    You should take that feeling
    and nurture it.
[06:03] ---
    I see.
[06:04] ---
    I suspected myself of being a cold person
    for not being able to fall in love with someone
[06:08] ---
    who went as far as professing
    his love for me.
[06:11] ---
    But...
[06:12] ---
    you're right! I actually do love him!
[06:15] ---
    It's like she was talked into it!
[06:18] ---
    What should I do
    to talk to him more naturally?
[06:21] ---
    I have to give
    more appropriate advice, too!
[06:25] ---
    Good question.
[06:26] ---
    Cognitive balance.
[06:28] ---
    You can probably use
    the Romeo and Juliet effect.
[06:32] ---
    - Romeo and Juliet?
    - Romeo and Juliet?
[06:34] ---
    Romeo and Juliet's love faced obstacles.
[06:37] ---
    The idea is that love deepens
[06:41] ---
    when a couple shares
    a powerful enemy they face.
[06:44] ---
    A powerful enemy?
[06:47] ---
    It doesn't have to be a person.
[06:49] ---
    A shared imaginary enemy is fine.
[06:51] ---
    We don't have an enemy like that.
[06:53] ---
    Oh no! Everyone has
    a powerful enemy they have to face!
[06:58] ---
    Wh-Who?
[07:00] ---
    It's...
[07:02] ---
    this society!
[07:04] ---
    Society?
[07:05] ---
    Unending war! The ever-expanding gap
    between rich and poor!
[07:08] ---
    There are no enemies
    more powerful than that!
[07:08] ---
    Wait. It should be something minor
    like entrance exams or everyday troubles.
[07:12] ---
    I-I see! So the two of us
    should rebel against this corrupt society!
[07:17] ---
    That's a large-scale challenge!
[07:19] ---
    Understood!
    The two of us will prepare!
[07:22] ---
    Good luck!
[07:23] ---
    Wait! Hold on!
[07:26] ---
    Will it be okay? Did we just create
    two antisocial deviants?
[07:32] ---
    It'll be fine!
[07:36] ---
    Please donate to the fund!
[07:40] ---
    Please!
[07:41] ---
    Please donate to the fund!
[07:44] ---
    It seems they were both
    already interested in charity work.
[07:45] ---
    Please!
[07:48] ---
    This has become a good opportunity.
[07:51] ---
    The feeling of wishing for peace...
[07:53] ---
    That may be the true meaning
    of rebelling against society.
[07:57] ---
    What are you talking about?
[08:00] ---
    So, her boyfriend is the one
    who went to the president for advice.
[08:10] ---
    President?
[08:12] ---
    Shinomiya!
[08:14] ---
    Why are you here with them?
[08:16] ---
    Oh, I applied to do
    off-campus fundraising activities.
[08:21] ---
    Please donate to the fund!
[08:22] ---
    Well, when I saw those two who don't seem
    to be doing it on a whim or as a pastime,
[08:25] ---
    Please!
[08:26] ---
    who are inexperienced but eager...
[08:28] ---
    Please donate to the fund!
[08:30] ---
    it made me feel like supporting them
    even if it's not much.
[08:31] ---
    Please!
[08:34] ---
    Jeez.
[08:34] ---
    Please donate to the fund!
[08:35] ---
    This kind of activity
    really isn't up my alley, though.
[08:37] ---
    Please!
[08:42] ---
    This is one of the things.
[08:44] ---
    RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH:
[08:44] ---
    Results of today's match...
[08:45] ---
    KAGUYA LOSES
[08:46] ---
    Kaguya loses.
[08:48] ---
    PLEASE DONATE TO THE FUND
[08:50] ---
    PLEASE
[08:52] ---
    MIYUKI SHIROGANE
    WANTS TO SHOW OFF
[09:04] ---
    WHACK
[09:10] ---
    I was so close!
[09:12] ---
    Not athletic!
[09:12] ---
    NOTE: NOT ATHLETIC
[09:13] ---
    When it comes to studying,
    Shirogane excels,
[09:17] ---
    but as for athletics, he's a catastrophe,
    unfit for any human to see.
[09:22] ---
    He delivered newspapers for many years,
    and in the summertime, worked as a mover.
[09:25] ---
    He's easily able to ride his bike
    the 15 kilometers to school every day.
[09:29] ---
    Miyuki Shirogane definitely doesn't suffer
    from a lack of physical ability.
[09:34] ---
    He just has an alarming lack
    of coordination! That's the cause!
[09:38] ---
    So, in order to protect
    his social status at Shuchiin Academy,
[09:42] ---
    daily extraordinary training is essential!
[09:45] ---
    We've got volleyball next week.
[09:47] ---
    I have to get to the point
    of average ability by then.
[09:51] ---
    At this rate...
[09:53] ---
    Please take this seriously.
[09:55] ---
    It looks like a dying alpaca,
    but is that the president?
[09:58] ---
    Really?
[09:59] ---
    That dying alpaca?
[10:03] ---
    How cute.
[10:05] ---
    No!
[10:09] ---
    Why isn't this working?
[10:11] ---
    President, are you okay?
[10:13] ---
    Yeah, no prob...
[10:15] ---
    Fujiwara!
[10:17] ---
    What are you doing?
[10:18] ---
    I forgot this here. Um...
[10:21] ---
    Did she see me?
[10:26] ---
    It's over.
    Good at both sports and studies...
[10:28] ---
    The well-rounded
    President Shirogane brand...
[10:31] ---
    Even though I didn't do anything wrong,
    my flawless image will...
[10:36] ---
    Did I study for the test? Not really.
[10:39] ---
    This is really bad.
[10:43] ---
    Playing with a ball is so much fun!
[10:46] ---
    Oh, well.
[10:47] ---
    Whatever she thinks about me,
    it won't do much damage.
[10:50] ---
    Volleyball is the next sport for P.E., right?
[10:53] ---
    I was able to reserve the gym,
    so I've been practicing.
[10:56] ---
    My serve is kind of weak, you know?
[10:58] ---
    Oh, I see.
[11:00] ---
    Want me to teach you?
[11:03] ---
    Look, you can't teach someone
    unless you can do it yourself.
[11:07] ---
    I'm okay at volleyball!
[11:10] ---
    See?
[11:14] ---
    Right?
[11:15] ---
    Incredible!
[11:16] ---
    PRESIDENT'S CRITERIA
[11:16] ---
    How could her serve be so polished?
[11:18] ---
    How'd you like that?
[11:20] ---
    I-I had no idea you possessed
    such a special skill!
[11:24] ---
    I bet if I taught you,
    you'd improve in no time.
[11:29] ---
    GRIN GRIN
[11:29] ---
    President! When you're
    asking someone for help,
[11:32] ---
    what kind of attitude is appropriate?
[11:36] ---
    P-Please teach me.
[11:40] ---
    Sure! No problem!
[11:43] ---
    Okay, first let me see
    exactly what the problem is.
[11:46] ---
    Please show me your serve several times.
[11:49] ---
    Okay.
[12:00] ---
    Why does that happen?
[12:03] ---
    I don't know myself.
[12:05] ---
    No matter how many times I try,
    I keep hitting myself in the head.
[12:08] ---
    And if I'm careful about my head,
    my timing is totally off.
[12:12] ---
    I'm perfectly deadlocked!
[12:15] ---
    Right.
[12:16] ---
    First of all, when you hit the ball,
    keep your eyes open!
[12:19] ---
    You don't have to state the obvious.
[12:21] ---
    Right, right!
[12:23] ---
    Then open your eyes wide
    and try to hit the ball.
[12:27] ---
    As if that would make a difference.
[12:35] ---
    See? That didn't work.
[12:37] ---
    Your eyes aren't open!
[12:39] ---
    They're not open!
[12:40] ---
    How can you project the feeling,
    "I did what you said, but it didn't work"?
[12:43] ---
    Look! They weren't even open
    one millimeter!
[12:47] ---
    I don't believe it!
[12:48] ---
    Maybe I have what they call "the yips"?
[12:51] ---
    What arrogance!
[12:52] ---
    President, maybe your image of yourself
    isn't in sync with your actual movements!
[12:57] ---
    Let's start with jumping
    with your eyes open!
[13:00] ---
    I'm going to be merciless with you,
    so be prepared!
[13:03] ---
    Please!
[13:04] ---
    OGRE
[13:05] ---
    And so...
[13:06] ---
    1, 2,
[13:09] ---
    3, 4 ,5...
[13:11] ---
    556, 557, 558, 559...
[13:15] ---
    984, 985, 986 ,987...
[13:15] ---
    No closed eyes when you jump.
    The ball is your friend.
[13:18] ---
    And so, with morning and evening
    training sessions, three days passed.
[13:25] ---
    President...
[13:27] ---
    Maybe this is enough.
[13:29] ---
    I think you're good enough to be
    at the level of a person who just sucks at it.
[13:33] ---
    Compared to when you were a creature,
    you've made a lot of progress.
[13:36] ---
    Not yet!
[13:38] ---
    I can still...
[13:40] ---
    do more!
[13:41] ---
    Why are you working so hard for this?
[13:44] ---
    Because I don't want them
    to see me look like a dork.
[13:48] ---
    If they're going to see me,
    I want them to see me look cool!
[13:56] ---
    Are you talking
    about the person you like, President?
[14:00] ---
    Not at all!
    You've got romance on the brain!
[14:02] ---
    You don't have to hide it from me!
[14:05] ---
    Who's she? Who's she?
[14:05] ---
    Shut up!
[14:06] ---
    Please tell me!
[14:08] ---
    Don't pester me about that!
[14:18] ---
    Y-You did it!
[14:20] ---
    You did it! You did it!
[14:22] ---
    Yeah, Fujiwara. Thanks to you.
[14:25] ---
    It was so tough!
    But you persevered until you achieved it!
[14:29] ---
    All right, Fujiwara.
[14:32] ---
    Next teach me how to toss and receive!
[14:39] ---
    ONE WEEK LATER
[14:47] ---
    Wow!
[14:49] ---
    Shirogane!
[14:58] ---
    Miss Fujiwara?
[15:01] ---
    I raised that boy.
[15:03] ---
    You're his mother?
[15:04] ---
    RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH:
[15:05] ---
    Results of today's match...
[15:06] ---
    Shirogane and Fujiwara's victory!
[15:06] ---
    SHIROGANE AND
    FUJIWARA'S VICTORY
[15:11] ---
    YES, WELL...
[15:12] ---
    I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
[15:16] ---
    KAGUYA WANTS TO BE COVERED
[15:16] ---
    All right. Ishigami finished dealing
    with the aftermath of that last mixer...
[15:21] ---
    so there really isn't anything
    for us to do today.
[15:24] ---
    Shall we take the day off?
[15:25] ---
    Sure! Then you'd better call
    for an early pickup, Miss Kaguya.
[15:29] ---
    Actually...
[15:31] ---
    the car has a flat or something,
    so I thought I'd walk home.
[15:36] ---
    You won't be kidnapped?
[15:38] ---
    Not much evidence is left on a rainy day,
    so that's when they target you!
[15:42] ---
    Please don't say things
    that'll make me nervous.
[15:45] ---
    I'd like to give you a lift,
    but I have somewhere to go.
[15:48] ---
    Shinomiya is going to walk home?
[15:49] ---
    That's okay.
    I appreciate the sentiment.
[15:51] ---
    Then maybe that'll work?
[15:53] ---
    The turning point of the season.
    The rainy season.
[15:56] ---
    Sharing an umbrella!
[15:58] ---
    Two shoulders close together
    under one umbrella,
[16:00] ---
    an event that immediately closes
    the distance between man and woman.
[16:03] ---
    The rainy season is the ideal season
    to share an umbrella.
[16:07] ---
    What nonsense.
[16:09] ---
    Shamefully jostling each other
    under one umbrella...
[16:12] ---
    But I do recognize the meaning
    behind sharing an umbrella.
[16:17] ---
    In the realm of romance,
    what should be feared the most
[16:20] ---
    is summer vacation magic.
[16:22] ---
    "Spending summer vacation
    with your sweetheart."
[16:24] ---
    That brand is so sought after
[16:26] ---
    that before summer vacation starts,
    evaluation of the opposite sex
[16:29] ---
    takes place everywhere
    throughout the school.
[16:36] ---
    Sharing an umbrella emphasizes to onlookers
    an intimacy with a member of the opposite sex,
[16:38] ---
    DAMN
[16:39] ---
    MARKING COMPLETE!!
[16:40] ---
    HE'S TAKEN
[16:40] ---
    and is the most efficient way
    to mark someone as being excluded
[16:43] ---
    from the group
    of "summer sweetheart candidates."
[16:48] ---
    It's really coming down.
[16:50] ---
    Yes. It wasn't raining at all this morning.
[16:53] ---
    There's pretty much one way
    that sharing an umbrella works.
[16:57] ---
    One... "A" has forgotten to bring
    an umbrella and is just standing there.
[17:00] ---
    Two... Unable to ignore that,
    "B" asks, "Wanna share?"
[17:02] ---
    WANNA SHARE?
[17:04] ---
    SUCCESS!!
[17:05] ---
    Well, should we go?
[17:06] ---
    In short, the success
    of sharing an umbrella...
[17:07] ---
    Yes.
[17:08] ---
    depends on the "I forgot my umbrella" appeal!
[17:11] ---
    However...
[17:13] ---
    What should I do?
    I don't have an umbrella.
[17:13] ---
    Shoot, I forgot my umbrella.
[17:15] ---
    COMPETITION BATTING!!
[17:15] ---
    Batting!
[17:17] ---
    An umbrella sharing event begins
    with one person forgetting their umbrella.
[17:22] ---
    But if they both forget their umbrellas,
    there are no developments!
[17:26] ---
    It's just two people
    who have forgotten to bring an umbrella!
[17:29] ---
    Y-You forgot your umbrella, too, Shinomiya?
[17:32] ---
    Yes. It just slipped my mind,
    since I usually get picked up.
[17:36] ---
    Why did you forget?
[17:38] ---
    Well, I didn't check the weather forecast.
[17:40] ---
    I didn't think
    we were in for a storm like this.
[17:46] ---
    Of course, it's all a bluff!
[17:48] ---
    They both have folding umbrellas
    in their bags!
[17:52] ---
    What do I do?
    Tell her I have an umbrella now?
[17:56] ---
    But if I do that...
[17:59] ---
    Oh, my.
[18:00] ---
    You wanted to get under my umbrella
    so badly that you lied about your umbrella?
[18:05] ---
    Good grief.
[18:07] ---
    How cute.
[18:08] ---
    I can't!
[18:09] ---
    Already, taking out the umbrella
    would expose a meaningful lie.
[18:13] ---
    And that would also directly link to inviting
    the other person to share the umbrella.
[18:17] ---
    That would clearly spell defeat.
[18:19] ---
    Wait. If she doesn't have a ride,
[18:22] ---
    I'm sure someone from the Shinomiya house
    would've given her an umbrella.
[18:26] ---
    It wouldn't matter
    that it slipped her mind!
[18:28] ---
    I've got your number, President.
[18:30] ---
    You have an umbrella
    in that bag, don't you?
[18:33] ---
    You're lying because you're too embarrassed
    to invite me under your umbrella.
[18:36] ---
    In this situation,
    the condition for victory...
[18:38] ---
    is none other than exposing
    the other person's lie!
[18:43] ---
    Hey, Shinomiya,
    maybe you've actually got one.
[18:46] ---
    Shirogane made the first move.
[18:48] ---
    Your usual ride had a flat today,
    on the day it rains.
[18:52] ---
    But today of all days, someone like you,
    who always plans ahead, forgot her umbrella.
[18:57] ---
    How likely is that?
[19:03] ---
    What are you trying to say?
[19:04] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[19:06] ---
    Not enough information.
[19:08] ---
    Should I gamble on a game-winning hit?
[19:09] ---
    If we're talking planning ahead,
    you do the same, President.
[19:12] ---
    What?
[19:13] ---
    Before, you said you didn't check
    the weather forecast, but I find that odd.
[19:19] ---
    What's odd about it?
[19:21] ---
    I have days like that.
[19:23] ---
    You always ride your bicycle
    to school, don't you?
[19:27] ---
    Yes, but...
[19:29] ---
    Then,
[19:30] ---
    why did you take the train today?
[19:34] ---
    I noticed your bike
    wasn't in the bike rack today.
[19:39] ---
    What?
[19:41] ---
    I mean, if you think about it,
    there's nothing unnatural at all.
[19:45] ---
    On a rainy day,
    you take the train to school.
[19:48] ---
    That's the reasonable thing to do, isn't it?
[19:50] ---
    Say, President...
[19:51] ---
    you said you missed
    the weather forecast, right?
[19:55] ---
    Then why did you choose
    to take the train today, of all days?
[20:00] ---
    The truth is...
[20:03] ---
    you saw it, didn't you?
[20:05] ---
    The weather forecast.
[20:08] ---
    The difference in preparation!
[20:10] ---
    Maybe you just thought
    you forgot to bring an umbrella.
[20:15] ---
    President, would you take a look
    in your bag to see if it's there?
[20:19] ---
    The difference in advance preparation
    will decide the outcome of the game!
[20:23] ---
    It didn't even take Shirogane an hour
    to devise his umbrella-sharing plan.
[20:27] ---
    On the other hand,
    Kaguya confirmed the weather report.
[20:30] ---
    She carefully looked at the weather map,
[20:32] ---
    used an awl to pierce
    the tire of her ride,
[20:35] ---
    and checked the bicycle rack.
[20:36] ---
    The amount of advance preparation
    gave her a big lead.
[20:39] ---
    Naturally, she predicted
    this situation, as well.
[20:42] ---
    Now I'll score a point for good measure!
[20:45] ---
    I guess I'll just get soaked
    walking home in the rain.
[20:50] ---
    GRIN
[20:50] ---
    Miss Kaguya, you forgot your umbrella?
[20:55] ---
    I've got a spare in the classroom,
    so please use this one.
[21:00] ---
    Please be more careful for next time!
[21:03] ---
    Absent-minded Miss Kaguya!
[21:05] ---
    Well, see ya tomorrow!
[21:12] ---
    I had him! I was one step away!
[21:15] ---
    Why does that girl always spoil it?
[21:18] ---
    Now that it's come to this...
[21:23] ---
    Here.
[21:25] ---
    I'm giving you this umbrella, President!
[21:27] ---
    Do what you want with it! Here!
[21:30] ---
    No, that umbrella belongs to Fujiwara.
[21:32] ---
    I'm subletting it!
[21:33] ---
    No, look...
[21:41] ---
    All right.
[21:47] ---
    How about I borrow half of it?
[21:58] ---
    I suppose that will do.
[22:13] ---
    Results of today's match...
[22:15] ---
    RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH:
[22:16] ---
    A tie.
[22:16] ---
    A TIE