E3 - Friendly Showdown / Tag (The Man Is It)

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] Tsubaki
    Our afternoon team activity
    will be food procurement.
[00:17] Asagao
    Yay! I hope we can get some meat!
[00:20] Asagao
    Emergency provisions had just run out, too.
[00:24] Sazanka
    This won't turn out very well.
[00:27] Sazanka
    Because every single time,
    some idiot goes charging in headlong.
[00:35] Asagao
    Hey! Who do you mean?!
[00:36] Sazanka
    I mean you, of course!
[00:38] Asagao
    Huh?! You take that back!
[00:39] Tsubaki
    You two need to get along better!
[00:41] Asagao/Sazanka
    But...!
[00:43] Tsubaki
    Be friendlier!
SIGN    Friendly Showdown
[02:19] Sazanka
    Ow!
[02:21] Asagao
    Come back!
[02:26] Asagao
    My midnight snack...
[02:28] Sazanka
    Hey, Asagao, it's your fault!
[02:30] Sazanka
    And don't you owe me an apology?!
[02:31] Asagao
    You're the one who ran into me!
[02:33] Sazanka
    I spotted it first!
[02:35] Asagao
    No, you didn't! I did!
[02:37] Tsubaki
    Good grief.
[02:37] Sazanka
    Yes, I did! Where were you looking?!
[02:40] Tsubaki
    Can't you get along a little better?
[02:42] Sazanka
    Not possible with a doofus like her!
[02:44] Asagao
    That's my line, you know!
[02:47] Sazanka
    If we weren't on the same team,
    I'd never do anything with Asagao!
[02:51] Asagao
    Huh?! You bother me all the time, too!
[03:03] Tsubaki
    Both of you!
[03:06] Uikyou/Kikyou
    Disgraceful.
[03:10] Tsubaki
    Uikyou and Kikyou of Team Snake!
[03:15] Uikyou
    They're quarreling.
[03:17] Kikyou
    That they are.
[03:19] Uikyou/Kikyou
    Quarreling is disgraceful.
[03:22] Tsubaki
    Great timing! Could you teach
    these girls how to get along?
[03:28] Sazanka
    Come on, Nee-sama! I can't get
    along with someone like her!
[03:33] Asagao
    Like I said, that's my line!
[03:37] Uikyou
    We've always been close.
[03:41] Kikyou
    So, teaching's easier said than done.
[03:45] Tsubaki
    Maybe you have some advice, or something?
[03:53] Uikyou/Kikyou
    We have no advice...
[03:56] Uikyou/Kikyou
    but the secret to getting along...
[04:00] Uikyou/Kikyou
    is right here.
[04:01] Tsubaki
    There is such a thing?
[04:06] Uikyou
    But I don't think it would work.
[04:08] Kikyou
    Yeah, they're too unfriendly.
[04:12] Uikyou
    So...
[04:13] Kikyou
    On that note...
[04:14] Tsubaki
    Oh! You two!
[04:17] Uikyou
    If you insist on seeing it...
[04:19] Kikyou
    ...try taking it from us.
[04:24] Tsubaki
    Sazanka! Asagao!
[04:28] Tsubaki
    What are you doing?!
    Come on, after them!
[04:31] Sazanka
    Oh, what does it matter?
[04:34] Asagao
    Let's look for food instead.
[04:36] ---
    We already lost some, thanks to Sazanka.
[04:39] Sazanka
    Huh?!
[04:40] Asagao
    Well, we did.
[04:41] Tsubaki
    As team leader, I order you!
[04:43] Tsubaki
    Both of you work together,
    and steal the scroll from Team Snake.
[04:48] Sazanka
    Order all you like, but that's still...
[04:52] Tsubaki
    Upon your success, I'll give Asagao
    my side dishes at dinner tonight!
[04:58] Tsubaki
    And for you, Sazanka,
    we'll share a futon tonight!
[05:03] Sazanka
    Don't get in my way.
[05:05] Asagao
    Back at you.
[05:07] Sazanka/Asagao
    Okay! Here goes!
[05:13] Asagao
    Ow...
[05:16] Asagao
    What is this?!
[05:19] Tsubaki
    And learn about teamwork, while you're at it.
[05:26] Sazanka
    Anyway, let's do this.
[05:29] Asagao
    Yeah...
[05:32] Sazanka/Asagao
    Ow!
[05:34] Sazanka
    Don't people usually lead
    with the outside foot?!
[05:35] Asagao
    I have no idea, you know!
[05:45] Uikyou
    Chocolate vine.
[05:47] Kikyou
    Looks yummy.
[05:52] Uikyou/Kikyou
    Ahh.
[05:53] Sazanka/Asagao
    Team Snake duo!
[05:59] Sazanka/Asagao
    Hand over the scroll!
[06:05] Kikyou
    Why're your legs tied together...
[06:08] Uikyou
    ...when you get along so poorly?
[06:10] Kikyou
    Yeah.
[06:11] Asagao
    Tsubaki-chan did this.
[06:13] Sazanka
    Hah! Because we get along better
    than you two do, naturally.
[06:20] Uikyou
    But it's all you can do just to walk around.
[06:24] Kikyou
    Yeah.
[06:25] Uikyou/Kikyou
    We'll play your little game.
[06:34] Asagao
    Wow...
[06:36] Kikyou
    Have some...
[06:37] Uikyou
    ...chocolate vine.
[06:39] Asagao
    Chocolate vine!
[06:40] Sazanka
    You stupid—
[06:43] Asagao
    Ow...
[06:44] Sazanka
    What're you doing?!
[06:46] Asagao
    Well, I...
[06:47] Uikyou
    They're quarreling again.
[06:49] Kikyou
    Disgraceful.
[06:52] Sazanka
    Here goes, Asagao.
[06:54] Sazanka
    One...
[06:55] Sazanka/Asagao
    ...two!
[07:02] Asagao
    Keep going!
[07:03] Asagao
    One, two!
[07:12] Sazanka
    One more time!
[07:13] Sazanka
    One, two!
[07:21] Asagao
    At this rate, I'll never
    get extra side dishes!
[07:25] Sazanka
    I'll be sleeping alone.
[07:27] Asagao
    Hey, what do we do?
[07:41] Asagao
    Huh?!
[07:44] Sazanka
    You're the stronger of us, and I'm lighter.
[07:49] Sazanka
    Leave directions and support to me.
[07:51] Asagao
    Sazanka!
[07:52] Sazanka
    I'll tell you the plan, so lean in.
[07:57] Uikyou
    They've started cooperating.
[07:59] Kikyou
    That they have.
[08:01] Uikyou/Kikyou
    But...
[08:04] Sazanka
    Got it?
[08:11] Uikyou/Kikyou
    It's a little late.
[08:14] Sazanka
    That's... Sleep Bell Jutsu!
[08:18] Uikyou
    Too late to realize that now.
[08:21] Kikyou
    Soon enough, you'll fall asleep.
[08:31] Asagao
    Ow!
[08:34] Sazanka
    I'll keep pinching, so get to running!
[08:37] Sazanka
    No sleep until we take it!
[08:42] Asagao
    You, too, Sazanka!
[08:56] Uikyou
    Smoke, against us?
    When we're in perfect step?
[09:00] Kikyou
    Too bad it's pointless.
[09:05] Kikyou
    Uikyou!
[09:07] Uikyou
    I can't get loose!
[09:08] Kikyou
    Hold on. I'll undo it.
[09:15] Asagao
    I have a good nose, don't I?
[09:19] Sazanka
    Good plan, too!
[09:22] Uikyou
    We lost.
[09:24] Kikyou
    Yeah.
[09:30] Sazanka/Asagao
    Yes!
[09:34] Asagao
    Side dishes!
[09:35] Sazanka
    Sleeping together!
[09:42] Uikyou
    These two get along well.
[09:44] Kikyou
    Yeah.
[09:46] Kikyou
    After all, they're unfriendly...
[09:49] Uikyou
    ...but there they are, asleep together.
[09:51] Asagao
    Side dishes...
[09:52] Sazanka
    Nee-sama...
[09:54] Kikyou
    They tried hard not to fall asleep.
[09:57] Uikyou
    Yeah.
[09:58] Kikyou
    But I think it would take more
    than pinching to oppose our Jutsu.
[10:02] Uikyou
    I bet they get along so poorly,
[10:04] ---
    they were pinching incredibly hard.
[10:08] Kikyou
    Which means, being unfriendly
    is its own kind of strength?
[10:15] Uikyou
    Could be.
[10:17] Tsubaki
    They ended up losing, huh?
[10:20] Uikyou
    They tried hard at the end, though.
[10:22] Kikyou
    But then, fell asleep.
[10:25] Tsubaki
    I see.
[10:26] Kikyou
    Well, we'll be going.
[10:29] Uikyou
    You can see to them.
[10:32] Tsubaki
    Uikyou, Kikyou.
[10:35] Tsubaki
    Isn't that scroll with the secret
    of getting along really just blank?
[10:43] Uikyou/Kikyou
    You figured it out.
[10:45] Kikyou
    Are you mad?
[10:46] Uikyou
    That we tricked you?
[10:48] Tsubaki
    No.
[10:49] Tsubaki
    You played a trick to teach
    them the value of teaming up.
[10:57] Tsubaki
    Thank you very much.
[11:01] Uikyou
    Sure.
[11:03] Uikyou
    It's just, watching a dysfunctional pair...
[11:07] Kikyou
    ...proves to us all over 
    again how well we get along.
[11:13] Uikyou/Kikyou
    Y'know?
[11:16] Uikyou
    Ready to go, Kikyou?
[11:18] Kikyou
    Sure, Uikyou.
[11:21] Tsubaki
    I wonder if they're just
    hiding their embarrassment.
[11:33] Tsubaki
    Maybe now, they've grown a little closer?
[11:44] student
    Well, just try replacing it.
SIGN    Tag (The Man Is It)
[11:47] student
    Replacing it?
[11:48] Hinagiku
    I mean, look.
[11:49] ---
    Aren't men big and slow?
SIGN    Once-in-a-lifetime
SIGN    encounter
[11:53] Hinagiku
    Can't you win if you just get
    behind them, and let them have it?
[11:56] Kibushi
    Oh, good call!
[12:00] Tsubaki
    They're talking about men.
[12:02] Kibushi
    They're too dumb!
[12:03] Hinagiku
    You said it!
[12:12] Suzuran
    Um...
[12:14] Suzushiro
    Look at this!
[12:16] Suzushiro
    My rendition of a man!
[12:18] Tachiaoi
    Hey!
[12:19] Hana
    Everyone, outside.
[12:26] Hana
    Listen up.
[12:28] Hana
    Today's classes are canceled.
[12:30] Hana
    Instead, we're going to play tag.
[12:35] Itadori
    For real? Hooray!
[12:37] Hana
    However, anyone who gets
    caught gets no dinner.
[12:41] Asagao
    Huh?!
[12:42] Asagao
    Hey! That's cruel, you know!
[12:44] Hana
    You girls have been making
    fun of men too much lately.
[12:48] Hana
    You need a reminder that they're dangerous.
[12:53] Hana
    The first thing you do
    when you see a man is run.
[12:55] ---
    To train your body to do so,
[12:57] ---
    the person who's "it" will
    be considered "male."
[13:01] Hinagiku
    Male?
[13:02] Ume
    It's man tag!
[13:03] student
    Say what?
[13:04] student
    That's weird.
[13:05] Benisumomo
    But, Sensei.
[13:07] Benisumomo
    If we think of whoever's it as male,
[13:10] ---
    we'll have no choice but
    to fight, if cornered.
[13:14] Benisumomo
    What do we do then?
[13:16] Hana
    If your only remaining option is to fight?
[13:19] Hana
    That's fine. Then, you may fight.
[13:22] Benisumomo
    Heck, that'll be easy.
[13:25] Touwata
    There you go again.
[13:26] Hana
    However.
[13:28] Hana
    I'll play the part of the man.
[13:31] Benisumomo
    No way...
[13:33] Hana
    If you remain uncaught until evening,
    or defeat me, you girls win.
[13:37] Housenka
    That's totally impossible!
[13:39] Hana
    I told you, I'm training you
    to be inherently wary of men.
[13:44] Asagao
    We don't stand a chance.
[13:45] Hagi
    I'll die if I go without food...
[13:47] Mokuren
    Oh, dinner...
[13:47] Higuruma
    "No food" is too harsh!
[13:50] student
    This isn't fair!
[13:50] Hana
    Then I'll toss in a small handicap.
[13:53] Hana
    If even just one of you
    can remove my hair tie,
[13:56] ---
    I'll treat that as a victory for your side.
[13:59] Hana
    I'll guarantee dinner for everyone.
[14:02] Housenka
    Either way, it's impossible!
[14:03] Ajisai
    Who made you so mad, Sensei?!
[14:03] Asagao
    Stupid upperclassmen!
[14:07] Hana
    You can go anywhere in Akane Class territory.
[14:09] Hana
    Including inside buildings, of course.
[14:12] Hana
    So, we begin when I reach ten.
[14:15] Hana
    One.
[14:18] Hana
    Two.
[14:21] Hana
    Three.
[14:27] Konoha
    Is your back okay?
    I'll take your place, if you like.
[14:31] Hana
    No, I'm fine.
[14:34] Hana
    I just hope this gives them
    a sense of fear and caution.
[14:41] Konoha
    Indeed.
[14:46] Sazanka
    What do we do, Nee-sama?
[14:48] Tsubaki
    First, let's come up with a plan.
[14:51] Sazanka
    That's my Nee-sama!
[14:53] Asagao
    You're reliable, Tsubaki-chan!
[14:55] Tsubaki
    Sensei said she would play the male role.
[14:59] Asagao
    Mhm.
[15:00] Tsubaki
    Which means...
[15:03] ---
    she might be using Transformation
    Jutsu to change into one!
[15:09] Asagao
    Huh? What does that have to do with it?
[15:12] Sazanka
    Nee-sama! We know you're afraid,
    but please try to keep it together.
[15:26] Kagetsu
    Hototogisu.
[15:27] Kagetsu
    Over here.
[15:30] Hototogisu
    Okay.
[15:45] Mukuge
    Please, don't notice us!
[15:47] Kagetsu
    Mukuge, shh!
[16:08] Kagetsu
    Thank goodness.
[16:10] Hototogisu
    I thought maybe she saw me come in here.
[16:12] Mukuge
    Kagetsu takes off running like a shot.
[16:15] Kagetsu
    Yeah, well...
[16:23] Kagetsu/Mukuge/Hototogisu
    Huh?
[16:26] Mukuge
    Sensei's snakes!
[16:31] Sazanka
    A scream...
[16:32] Tsubaki
    Somebody must have gotten caught.
[16:34] Asagao
    Let's hurry and come up
    with a plan to get away.
[16:38] Tsubaki
    There's no getting away from Sensei.
[16:40] Asagao
    Huh?! But earlier, you talked about a plan!
[16:45] Tsubaki
    Yes, that's right.
[16:47] Tsubaki
    A plan to defeat her.
[16:49] Asagao
    I seriously don't think
    that'll work, you know!
[16:52] Sazanka
    Nee-sama, that is a bit much.
[16:54] Asagao
    I just know I won't get dinner!
[17:04] Asagao
    Meat!
[17:06] Tsubaki
    Wait, Asagao! That's so obvious!
[17:11] Hana
    You fall too easily for food.
    Asagao, no dinner.
[17:15] Asagao
    I'd, at least, like one bite, you know!
[17:21] Hana
    They got away.
[17:24] Tachiaoi
    Higuruma, can you squeeze in a little more?
[17:28] Higuruma
    Squeeze over that way more, Hagi.
[17:31] Hagi
    If I squeeze any more,
    I'll suffocate and die.
[17:34] Higuruma
    You'll be fine.
[17:36] Tachiaoi
    I hope she doesn't find us.
[17:40] Hana
    Tachiaoi, no food.
[17:52] Hana
    Ume, Itadori, Fuki! No food!
[17:57] Hana
    Hinagiku, Kibushi! No food!
[18:01] Hana
    Housenka, Mokuren! No food!
[18:06] Hana
    And, next is...
[18:09] Benisumomo
    Sensei, I'd like to fight you.
[18:12] Hana
    Benisumomo, huh?
[18:14] ---
    What are you doing, coming right to me?
[18:16] Benisumomo
    Because it's rare I get to go up against you!
[18:37] Hana
    Your skills have improved.
[18:39] Hana
    Looks like you're training properly.
[18:50] Hana
    However, you're not there yet.
[18:57] Hana
    No food. Keep up the good work.
[19:14] Hana
    My back...
[19:16] Konoha (Sazanka)
    Hana-sensei.
[19:18] Konoha (Sazanka)
    Are you all right?
[19:20] Konoha (Sazanka)
    I came to see how your back is doing.
[19:23] Hana
    Konoha? I'm fine.
[19:26] Konoha (Sazanka)
    Here, grab hold of me.
[19:32] Hana
    Have you gotten a little shorter?
[19:35] Konoha (Sazanka)
    N-No, how could I?
[19:37] Hana
    Your eyes seem different, too.
[19:45] Konoha (Tsubaki)
    Your Transformation Jutsu is good,
    Sazanka, but it needs work.
[19:51] Hana
    Thanks.
[19:52] Konoha (Tsubaki)
    Sure. But how is your back?
[19:56] Hana
    No need to worry.
[20:10] Tsubaki
    Now, I'll just take Sensei's hair tie!
[20:20] Tsubaki
    She's too wary for it to work.
[20:24] Tsubaki
    No.
[20:25] ---
    Sazanka sacrificed herself
    as a decoy, for this chance.
[20:29] Tsubaki
    Everyone's dinner depends on me!
[20:33] Tsubaki
    I must do this!
[20:34] Hana
    Konoha.
[20:35] Konoha (Tsubaki)
    Y-Yes! What is it?
[20:39] Hana
    Do you think I'm too strict with the girls?
[20:42] Konoha (Tsubaki)
    No.
[20:44] Hana
    I see.
[20:45] ---
    There's no other choice.
[20:48] Hana
    We can't have things go
    back to how they were then.
[20:52] Hana
    We must keep lying about men being scary.
[21:07] Tsubaki
    Huh?
[22:44] Tsubaki
    Men... aren't scary?
[22:50] Hana
    Tsubaki...
[22:54] Hana
    Transformation Jutsu?
[22:56] Hana
    What I was just saying...
[23:00] Hana
    Tsubaki! Wait!
[23:10] Konoha
    Hana-sensei.
[23:12] Hana
    Konoha?
[23:13] Konoha
    Is it your back? I did tell you so.
[23:16] Hana
    You're the real thing?
[23:19] Konoha
    Huh?
[23:20] Hana
    Catch Tsubaki.
[23:23] Hana
    I messed up.
[23:25] Hana
    She ended up hearing about you-know-what!
[23:28] Tsubaki
    It's a lie that men are scary...
[23:31] Tsubaki
    I heard it straight from her!
[23:33] Tsubaki
    What do I do now?!
SIGN    Next time:
    
    Men and Women
    Mokuren's Medical Jutsu
    
    -Tsubaki
[23:37] Tsubaki
    T-To be continued!