E1 - Men Are Dangerous Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:02] Tsubaki     Men are horrible. Things to be feared. [00:12] Tsubaki     But, why is it? [00:31] Tsubaki     Why is my heart beating so fast?! SIGN    Dog SIGN    A     k     a     n     e          C     l     a     s     s [00:40] Tsubaki     I'm sorry, Sensei! SIGN    Men Are Dangerous [00:43] someone     What's up? SIGN    Team     Dog [00:45] Ume     What's going on? [00:47] Ume     Did something happen? [00:48] Housenka     It's Sazanka and Asagao. [00:50] Housenka     Word is, they're missing. [00:52] Ume     Again? [00:53] Tsubaki     I suspect they went outside. [00:56] Ume     Is it a desertion? [00:57] Housenka     Goofing off, more like. [00:59] Hana     As the leader of Akane Class's Team Dog, SIGN    Asagao Sazanka Tsubaki [01:03] Hana     how will you take     responsibility for this situation? [01:05] Tsubaki     I'll bring them back at once! [01:08] Hana     Wonderful... [01:10] Hana     And tonight, of all times... [01:12] Hinagiku     Sensei, is something happening tonight? [01:18] Hana     Aoi Class has a nighttime lesson. [01:20] student     No way! [01:21] student     Aoi Class? [01:21] student     That means they're nearby? [01:23] Kibushi     Aoi Class, she said! [01:25] Hinagiku     You mean the filthy men on the     other side of the mountains? [01:29] Ajisai     I hear men are incredibly stupid! [01:31] ---     Seems they have big bodies,     but small brains! [01:34] Higuruma     They're just like monkeys, right? [01:36] Housenka     From what I hear, they're kinda stinky! [01:40] Ume     That's so weird! [01:42] Itadori     Yuck, don't they ever take baths? SIGN    Team     Dog [01:45] Ajisai     Also, also, their crotch is     their weak spot. Frail fail! [01:52] Hana     Fools! [01:54] Hana     Don't take men lightly! [01:57] Hana     Don't I always tell you? [01:59] ---     They're strong, and highly barbarous! [02:02] Hana     Underestimate them at your peril! [02:08] Hana     Well, so long as you get it. [02:11] Hana     Can two or three of you go with her? [02:14] Tsubaki     Sensei. [02:16] Tsubaki     Is it all right if I go alone? [02:18] Tsubaki     I'd... feel bad about inconveniencing     girls from other teams. [02:25] Hana     I guess you can manage on your own. [02:28] Hana     They're all scared of men, anyway. [02:31] Tsubaki     It might be that they're scared of you. [02:38] Hana     I leave it to you, then. [02:40] Tsubaki     Yes, ma'am! [02:41] Tsubaki     I, Akane Class kunoichi Tsubaki, will be     sure to return with Sazanka and Asagao! [02:47] Hana     Mhm. [02:52] Hana     Be sure not to let those two near any men. [02:56] Hana     You hear? [02:56] Tsubaki     Yes, ma'am! [02:58] Tsubaki     I shall return! [03:07] Hana     I just hope nothing happens. [03:12] Tsubaki     Men are up in the mountains. [03:22] Tsubaki     M-Men are... [03:24] Tsubaki     Stop that! [03:27] Tsubaki     Sazanka, Asagao... [03:34] Asagao     Hey, Sazanka. [03:36] Asagao     Let's just go home! [03:38] Sazanka     What are you talking about, Asagao? [03:40] Sazanka     We're going to show Nee-sama     what we can do. Look alive! [03:43] Asagao     I can't. I'm too tired. And I'm hungry. [03:52] Sazanka     You know, sleepiness and     hunger are your downfall. [03:56] Asagao     Can't take any more... [03:58] Sazanka     Have it your way.     Let's find some mushrooms. [04:04] Sazanka     Asagao?! [04:05] Sazanka     What're you doing? Pull yourself together. [04:09] Sazanka     Hey, this is no time for... [04:13] Sazanka     Asagao? [04:17] Sazanka     Hey, are you o— [04:21] Sazanka     L-Looks like that woke you up. [04:26] Asagao     Hey, what are we doing again? [04:29] Sazanka     Huh? Did you hit your head? [04:32] ---     We're searching for men. [04:36] Sazanka     Now do you remember? [04:39] Asagao     Huh. And so, you slipped out     in the middle of the night. [04:44] Tsubaki     You're a bad girl, Sazanka. [04:48] Sazanka     N-N- [04:51] Sazanka     Nee-sama! [04:52] Tsubaki     I'm here to catch you, Sazanka. [04:54] Sazanka     Oh... [04:55] Sazanka     This is such a habit, I just... [04:58] Tsubaki     You are too much. [05:01] Tsubaki     So... [05:03] Tsubaki     How is it you know there are     men up in the mountains? [05:06] Sazanka     I heard the teachers talking. [05:11] Tsubaki     Was that when you were off playing hooky? [05:13] Tsubaki     I swear... [05:15] Sazanka     It's not like that! [05:16] Sazanka     I was picking flowers to give to you. [05:20] Sazanka     That's when... I happened to overhear it. [05:25] Tsubaki     And so, what did you intend to do? [05:29] Tsubaki     Could it be, you were... [05:32] Sazanka     Yes, of course!     I was going to beat them up! [05:35] Sazanka     Men are the enemy of women! [05:38] ---     I'm not about to let this chance     slip away when they're so close! [05:44] Tsubaki     We're leaving. [05:45] Sazanka     Huh?! [05:46] Tsubaki     Sensei was livid. [05:49] Tsubaki     You even dragged Asagao into this.     You're such a bad girl, Sazanka. [05:55] Sazanka     I'm sorry, Nee-sama! [06:00] Sazanka     I thought I could get you to     praise me if I defeated the men. [06:05] Sazanka     That's why... [06:10] Tsubaki     I'm glad you're all right. [06:12] Tsubaki     Now, let's go home. [06:18] Tsubaki     Huh? [06:19] Tsubaki     Sazanka! Were those more crocodile tears?! [06:22] Sazanka     No need to worry, Nee-sama. [06:24] Sazanka     Those men will all fall before my might. [06:28] Sazanka     You can praise me later! [06:29] Tsubaki     Stop right there! [06:33] Tsubaki     Sazanka! [06:40] Tsubaki     Bad girl! [06:42] Asagao     Was that a good idea? [06:44] Asagao     Tricking Tsubaki-chan. [06:47] Asagao     She came to get us. [06:49] Sazanka     If we go home right now,     Sensei will just let us have it. [06:53] Sazanka     If we defeat the men,     I'm sure Nee-sama will praise us, too. [06:57] Asagao     I'm not so sure. [06:58] Tsubaki     Sazanka! Asagao! [06:59] Asagao     Tsubaki-chan?! [07:01] Sazanka     She caught up already?! [07:02] Tsubaki     You bad girls are coming     home if I have to drag you! [07:05] Asagao     See?! She's mad! [07:08] Sazanka     We'll give her the slip! [07:09] Asagao     I don't think it'll work! [07:29] Sazanka     Asagao! [07:50] Tsubaki     Let's go home. [07:52] Sazanka/Asagao     Yes, ma'am. [07:54] Tsubaki     There'll be punishment when we get back. [07:56] Asagao/Sazanka     Yes, ma'am. [07:57] Tsubaki     It'll probably mean going     without food tomorrow. [08:01] Asagao     That's too much! It'll kill me! [08:04] Asagao     I just got brought along, that's all! [08:07] Tsubaki     It's a shared responsibility. [08:09] Tsubaki     All three of us will be punished. [08:12] Sazanka     Even you? [08:18] Asagao     Food! [08:21] Tsubaki     Listen, you two. [08:23] ---     If you've learned your lesson,     start following the rules and— [08:34] Tsubaki     The sounds of kunai... [08:36] Sazanka     It must be the men, Nee-sama.     Let's go over there! [08:39] Tsubaki     Men are... [08:40] Sazanka     This is our chance to stand out! [08:42] Tsubaki     Men are... close by! [08:45] Sazanka     We can get out of being punished! [08:47] ---     You really want to beat up     the men, too, don't you?! [08:54] Tsubaki     I want to see for myself. [08:57] Sazanka     You want to "see"? [08:59] Tsubaki     Uh, no...! [09:00] Sazanka     I get it! You can't come out and say it     in your position, so you're being vague! [09:04] Tsubaki     Wrong! Please forget about it! [09:06] Sazanka     Huh?! [09:07] Tsubaki     Let's go home! [09:09] Tsubaki     I let slip what I really think... [09:12] Sazanka     Let's go check it out! [09:14] Tsubaki     No! [09:15] Tsubaki     Men are stupid, simple,     loud, dirty, and foolish. [09:21] Tsubaki     But we must never take them lightly. [09:23] Tsubaki     We mustn't go near them. [09:25] ---     That's what we've always been taught. [09:29] Tsubaki     So, why is it? [09:32] Tsubaki     Lately, a desire to learn about     men has been growing in my heart! [09:40] Tsubaki     My face feels hot, too. [09:42] ---     Is there something wrong with me? [09:45] Sazanka     How about this?! We'll just spy on them! [09:50] Tsubaki     Spy? [09:51] Sazanka     That's right! We'll just watch! [09:54] Tsubaki     T-True, it might prove useful     to confirm what they look like. [10:00] Sazanka     Yippee! [10:01] Tsubaki     What am I saying?! [10:03] Sazanka     Let's do this, Asagao. [10:04] Asagao     Do what? Aren't we just looking? [10:07] Sazanka     No, dummy! Nee-sama actually     wants us to beat them up. [10:11] Tsubaki     No, don't do this! Haven't I always     followed the straight and narrow?! [10:15] Sazanka     Let's go! [10:18] Tsubaki     We're just going to look. That's final. [10:21] Sazanka     But of course! [10:24] Tsubaki     Oh, God. Please forgive me. [10:28] Tsubaki     I'll just look.     And then I'll go straight home! [10:34] Tsubaki     Up ahead... [10:36] ---     there are men... [10:44] man?     Is someone there? [10:58] Sazanka     Hey, Nee-sama! Why did we run?! [11:03] Tsubaki     Scouting was a no-go, too! [11:05] Sazanka     Let's go back there and kick some butt! [11:07] Tsubaki     "Kick"?! Were you even listening to me?! [11:11] ---     Bad girl! [11:16] Tsubaki     Um, are you, by any chance... [11:21] ---     a man? [11:24] Tsubaki     Just a moment, please! [11:26] Tsubaki     Let me have a look! [11:34] Sazanka     Good morning, Nee-sama. [11:37] Tsubaki     It was a dream? [11:38] Sazanka     It's unusual for you to oversleep. [11:42] Tsubaki     Oversleep?! [11:43] Sazanka     It's not so late that you need to panic. [11:45] Tsubaki     Oversleeping is oversleeping. [11:48] Sazanka     Nee-sama? [11:50] Sazanka     Did last night's punishment     affect you that badly? [11:56] Tsubaki     No, I simply overslept. SIGN    Dining     Hall [12:00] Asagao     Gimme more! Make it a huge helping! SIGN    Asagao [12:04] Itadori     How much do you eat, anyway? [12:06] Asagao     Rice is yummy! [12:08] Tsubaki     Asagao. [12:10] Tsubaki     Good morning. [12:11] ---     You're eating a lot, as always. [12:13] Asagao     Morning, Tsubaki-chan. [12:15] Asagao     I was really hungry, thanks to Sazanka. [12:18] Sazanka     Huh? What're you talking about, dumb Asagao? [12:21] Sazanka     You always eat a ton. [12:23] Sazanka     You overeater. [12:24] Asagao     Nah, I don't overeat. [12:27] ---     Look at how much I've grown. [12:29] Asagao     If you don't eat more,     you won't get any taller. [12:33] Sazanka     Huh?! [12:33] Tsubaki     Cut that out. [12:34] Sazanka     What did you say?! [12:35] Asagao     It's the truth! [12:36] Sazanka     Hearing it from your stupid mouth irks me! [12:38] Asagao     The one who says "stupid" is the stupid one! [12:40] Ume/Itadori     Shut up! Take a seat first! [12:42] Tsubaki     Let's hurry and eat. SIGN    Tsubaki [12:47] Tsubaki     Thank you for the food. [12:48] Tachiaoi     Want to do afternoon team     activities together? [12:51] ---     I'm teaching my girls how to use kunai. [12:53] Shion     That sounds good. I'll join you. [12:56] Tsuwabuki     Your chopsticks stopped moving again.     Eat properly. [13:01] Tsubaki     This fish is delicious. [13:03] Sazanka     Yes, Nee-sama. [13:04] Tsubaki     Thank goodness, Asagao. [13:07] ---     We didn't have to go without breakfast. [13:09] Asagao     It's thanks to my fake crying! [13:11] Sazanka     What part of that was fake?     It was shameful. [13:16] Sazanka     "I want to eat!     Please forgive me, Sensei!" [13:19] Asagao     It wasn't like that! [13:21] Asagao     And wasn't it all your     fault in the first place?! [13:24] Sazanka     Would've worked if you     weren't slow in the head. [13:25] Tsubaki     Let's just eat in peace. [13:26] Asagao     For the record, "Huh?!" [13:27] Benisumomo     Hey, Tsubaki. [13:29] Tsubaki     Benisumomo. Good morning. [13:31] Benisumomo     You went looking for men     in the mountains yesterday? [13:34] ---     Fill me in on the details. [13:36] Ajisai     I want to hear them, too! [13:37] Higuruma     So do I! [13:38] Hinagiku     I'm curious, too! [13:40] Kibushi     Tell us! Tell us! [13:41] Benisumomo     So... [13:43] Benisumomo     Did you see them? [13:44] Tsubaki     Huh? Oh, no, it was dark. [13:47] ---     I only heard voices. [13:49] Higuruma     You didn't get a good look? [13:50] Benisumomo     Well, then. [13:51] Ajisai     Boring. [13:53] Tsubaki     Don't tell me you girls are... [13:55] Tsubaki     interested in men? [13:58] Benisumomo     They definitely stink. [14:00] Ajisai     I hear they don't take baths. [14:02] Benisumomo     Is that so? [14:03] Kibushi     I wonder how dumb they are. [14:05] Hinagiku     Could you hit them, and they wouldn't notice? [14:07] Kibushi     That dumb? [14:08] Ajisai     Also, also, they've got big bodies,     but a weak crotch. [14:12] Ajisai     I hear you can take 'em down in an instant! [14:13] Tsubaki     Maybe there is something wrong with me. [14:14] Benisumomo     What's with that? [14:15] Higuruma     Talk about weird. [14:19] Higuruma     Wait for me! [14:20] Tachiaoi     Hey! [14:21] Tachiaoi     We don't play with the laundry! SIGN    Men [14:24] Hana     For a ninja, there is a mental     rule of paramount importance. [14:29] Hana     Namely... [14:30] Tsubaki     "Men." [14:31] Hana     imperturbability. [14:32] Tsubaki     The way it's written gives an     impression of something firm, [14:32] Hana     At all times, you must endeavor to     be capable of making calm deci... [14:36] ---     and sort of thick and hard... [14:38] Hana     Tsubaki. [14:39] Tsubaki     Could actual men be that way? [14:41] Hana     Hey. [14:43] Mokuren     Tsubaki. [14:44] Hana     On your feet, Tsubaki! [14:45] Tsubaki     Yes, ma'am! [14:49] Hana     It's rare for you not to be listening. [14:53] Tsubaki     S-Sorry, ma'am. [14:55] Hana     Team Dog already has two     problem children as it is. [14:59] Hana     You need to keep a level head. [15:01] Tsubaki     Yes, ma'am... [15:03] Hana     Right. Be sure to focus your     strength in your abdomen. SIGN    Strength in one's abdomen SIGN    Strength in one's abdomen [15:07] Tsubaki     Strength in my abdo—"men"? [15:10] kanji     Men [15:10] kanji     Men [15:10] Tsubaki     "Men"! [15:12] Hana     Tsubaki. [15:13] Hana     What's wrong? You can sit down now. [15:16] Tsubaki     Y-Yes, ma'am. [15:20] Mokuren     On our last day off, you know? [15:22] Mokuren     I took a walk down to the pond, and you     know what I found there? A bird's nest. [15:27] Mokuren     They were so cute! [15:30] Tsubaki     I wonder if Mokuren ever     has men on her mind. [15:31] Mokuren     Let's go see them together next time. [15:35] Mokuren     Tsubaki? [15:37] Mokuren     What's with you today? Do you feel poorly? [15:40] Tsubaki     No, it's nothing. [15:42] Mokuren     Really? [15:43] Tsubaki     Yes. [15:44] Mokuren     If you're worn out, just speak up. [15:46] Mokuren     Leave it to our Team Monkey medical experts. [15:51] Tsubaki     Thank you, Mokuren. [15:56] Higuruma     Oh... [15:57] Shion     You're trying too hard. [15:59] Shion     If you throw using your whole body,     you won't need as much arm strength. [16:00] Ajisai     You know, men don't take baths, so they're     totally stinky! Especially their feet. [16:03] ---     Keep that in mind. [16:04] Higuruma     I will. [16:05] Hagi     Stinky? That's gross. [16:08] Sazanka     I missed you, Nee-sama. [16:10] Sazanka     Why must our morning classes     be in different places? [16:14] Asagao     Because you're not the same age, Sazanka. [16:16] Sazanka     I know that! [16:17] Asagao     Tsubaki-chan is an upperclassmen,     and we're underclassmen. [16:20] Sazanka     I already told you, I know! [16:22] Housenka     Hear this, Team Dog! [16:24] Housenka     Today's the day we take your team name! [16:26] ---     I challenge you to a fair fight! [16:30] Sazanka     Team Monkey runt. [16:32] Housenka     We're both nearly the same height, you runt! [16:35] Sazanka     What did you say?! [16:37] Tsubaki     Stop that, Sazanka. [16:39] Mokuren     Housenka! [16:41] Mokuren     You shouldn't do that! [16:43] Tsuwabuki     I'll say... [16:44] Mokuren     You'll interfere with their training. [16:46] Housenka     Yeah, but...! [16:48] Housenka     This is our chance to become Team Dog! [16:50] Housenka     "Monkey" is unsophisticated     and I've had enough! [16:53] Tsuwabuki     "Monkey" is not unsophisticated. [16:55] Tsuwabuki     Besides, beating them isn't     going to change our team name. [16:59] Mokuren     Sorry to bother you. [17:02] Tsubaki     No problem. [17:03] Mokuren     When I mentioned you weren't feeling     well, she went running off. [17:08] Tsubaki     Huh? [17:09] Mokuren     Well, don't overdo it! [17:16] Sazanka     Nee-sama! Let's go straight     home and sleep together! [17:21] Asagao     Good idea! You shouldn't overdo it. [17:24] Tsubaki     I-I'm fine, okay? [17:26] Tsubaki     I think these two just want to skip training. [17:30] Sazanka     Nee-sama. [17:31] Sazanka     Are you really all right? [17:37] Tsubaki     Just watch this. [17:45] Asagao     Whoa! Bull's-eye on both! Amazing! [17:49] Sazanka     True to form, Nee-sama! [17:50] Tsubaki     Next up, shuriken. [17:52] Sazanka     Okay! [17:53] Sazanka     If you would, Nee-sama! [17:56] Tsubaki     As team leader, I have to be     sure not to worry these two. [18:02] Tsubaki     I have to keep it together! [18:04] Ajisai     And y'know, men... [18:05] Tsubaki     Men?! [18:06] Ajisai     They're huge, but they've got a weak crotch! [18:12] Sazanka     Nee-sama! You're unwell after all! [18:13] Tsubaki     I-It's not that! [18:14] ---     My hand just slipped! [18:17] Tsubaki     N-Next, I'll transform. [18:19] Asagao     Into what? [18:20] Tsubaki     Into you, Asagao. [18:22] Asagao     Yay! [18:23] Sazanka     Nee-sama... [18:24] Tsubaki     Focus, focus. [18:27] Mukuge     Are they that filthy? [18:29] Ajisai     Yeah! And they smell, too! [18:29] Tsubaki     Focus! [18:31] Mukuge     Huh, I heard they're beatable     if you aim for the crotch. [18:34] Hototogisu     I wouldn't want to touch that. [18:35] Kagetsu     They're hopeless in so many ways, men. [18:38] Tsubaki     Men! [18:43] Sazanka     Nee-sama... [18:44] Tsubaki     No, wait! This is... [18:45] Asagao     So cute! [18:47] Tsubaki     U-Um, I mean... [18:48] Asagao     So, Tsubaki-chan. [18:50] Asagao     Haven't you been screwing up     whenever you hear the word "men"? [18:55] Asagao     How come? [18:57] Tsubaki     H-Hey! [18:58] Sazanka     Let's go, Asagao. [19:00] Tsubaki     Sazanka! [19:07] Asagao     What's the big idea? [19:09] Sazanka     We can't have other people     hearing this, can we? [19:12] Asagao     Huh? [19:13] Sazanka     This is a crisis. [19:15] Sazanka     When it comes to men... [19:18] Sazanka     I can't believe Nee-sama     might be afraid of them. [19:23] Tsubaki     Th-That's not it! It's not that I'm afraid! [19:26] Sazanka     But it's something else? [19:27] Tsubaki     Uh, no... [19:29] Tsubaki     I-It's just a coincidence, really. [19:32] Asagao     Then, hey. [19:33] Asagao     Why not try an experiment? [19:39] Sazanka     Okay, Nee-sama. [19:40] ---     Please use Fire Style Jutsu to     evaporate this entire puddle. [19:45] ---     Normally, you'd be able to do it. [19:48] Sazanka     However, just before you use the Jutsu,     I'm going to whisper the word "men." [19:53] Sazanka     If you can't do it... [19:55] Sazanka     it will mean you're afraid of men. [19:58] Asagao     I thought it up. Isn't that great? [20:00] Tsubaki     I know. [20:03] Tsubaki     I can't afford to make these     girls worry any further. [20:07] Tsubaki     Just focus, like always... [20:11] Tsubaki     Anytime you're ready. [20:13] Sazanka     All right. [20:16] Sazanka     Nee-sama! [20:18] Tsubaki     Wh-What are you doing, Sazanka?! [20:20] Sazanka     C-Couldn't help it!     Next time I'll do it right! [20:24] Tsubaki     You mean that? [20:24] Sazanka     Let's go! [20:28] Sazanka     I'm not lying! [20:32] Tsubaki     I'm counting on you. [20:33] Sazanka     Okay! [20:38] Sazanka     M-e-n. [20:45] Housenka     Tsubaki is off her game.     No way will I miss this chance. [20:49] Housenka     I'll defeat them while I can,     and take the name of Team Dog! [21:04] Sazanka     N-Never mind evaporation.     You made a crater. [21:08] Asagao     Wow, Tsubaki-chan! [21:10] Sazanka     Hey, Asagao! How do you figure     she's "afraid of men"?! [21:14] Asagao     Huh? [21:15] Sazanka     This is more amazing than usual! [21:17] Tsubaki     What just happened? [21:17] Asagao     Wasn't this your idea, Sazanka?! [21:19] Sazanka     It was kind of your idea! [21:20] Tsubaki     Something must*... [21:20] Asagao     For the record, "Huh?!" [21:23] Sazanka     Don't go telling lies! [21:23] Tsubaki     ...be wrong with me...* [21:24] Asagao     You're the one who's quick to lie! [21:26] Sazanka     What did you say?! [22:59] Benisumomo     Say, is it true you saw     what a man looks like? [23:02] Asagao     Yeah, I saw one. I see well in the dark. [23:06] Benisumomo     Transform and show us, then. [23:08] Asagao     Sure thing. [23:11] Tsubaki     I can't believe Asagao got a look at a man! [23:15] Tsubaki     This means I get to see one! [23:18] Asagao     Poof! [23:20] Asagao     Huh?! I turned into a fish?! [23:23] Ume     Come to think of it,     Asagao sucks at Transformation Jutsu. [23:24] Asagao     Glub! Glub! Glub! [23:30] Tsubaki     I sure wanted to see a man... SIGN    Next time:          Effort and Giftedness     Escape Plan     with Nee-sama          -Tsubaki [23:37] Tsubaki     To be continued!