How Clumsy you are, Miss Ueno

Not only is Ueno the president of the science club at her junior high, but she’s a genius inventor, too! However, despite everything she has going for her, there’s this big problem she can’t seem to solve. No matter what she does, she can’t figure out how to confess to her crush, Tanaka! Can she find a way to give her heart what it truly yearns for?

Season 1

Season 1

E1 - Rocker-Kun - Kumatander No. 2

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 1
    Rocker-kun
[00:05] ---
    Lab
    Science Club
    Experiment No. 1
    Rocker-kun
[00:05] ---
    Lab
    Science Club
[00:12] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[00:13] ---
    You're REALLY late, Tanaka!
[00:15] ---
    We've already gotten things started!
[00:17] ---
    I'm sorry, Ma'am. Homeroom ran late, so...
[00:20] ---
    Hmph! Well, fine.
[00:21] ---
    More importantly, take a look at
    THIS. I've finally finished it!
[00:25] ---
    This is the ultimate in portable filtration.
    I call it, "Rocker-kun"!
[00:27] ---
    FILTER
[00:29] ---
    An original product,
    the result of of painstaking research: Rocker-kun!
[00:34] ---
    Using this, one can turn even
    the most fetid of waters into an oasis,
[00:37] ---
    like that which bubbles
    forth from a natural spring!
[00:42] ---
    Huh...
[00:43] ---
    Well, Tanaka? Pretty awesome, huh?
[00:46] ---
    Now then! I present to you
    my own purified urine.
[00:48] ---
    She's showing off her pee!
[00:50] ---
    Put that away, please. It's gross.
[00:52] ---
    Wha?! It's not gross at all!
[00:54] ---
    Rocker-kun has turned even the foul waters
    expelled from I, Ueno head of the Science Club -
[00:58] ---
    into the scented liquids
    of a 3rd year middle school student!
[01:01] ---
    You don't have to put
    yourself down like that...
[01:03] ---
    And so! You must drink my urine, Tanaka!
[01:05] ---
    Is this girl okay in the head...?
[01:07] ---
    Wait, why would I drink
    THAT? What are you saying?
[01:10] ---
    If you don't, you can't know
    the awesome power of Rocker-kun, right?
[01:13] ---
    There must be some other way!
[01:15] ---
    You sure are putting up a fight.
    You just don't want to drink my pee, do you?
[01:19] ---
    That's right.
[01:20] ---
    Listen up, Tanaka: Experiments like these
[01:20] ---
    KAPPA
    SIGHTINGS
[01:22] ---
    hinge on time, place, and opportunity!
[01:24] ---
    When Rocker-kun becomes needed,
    it's a matter of SURVIVAL!
[01:27] ---
    No matter the situation,
    your surefire water source, of the quality you need...
[01:34] ---
    IS RIGHT HERE!
[01:35] ---
    Could you not put that there, please?
[01:38] ---
    Well?! Drink my fluids
    so that you may survive!
[01:42] ---
    I'd rather not drink from those waters...
[01:44] ---
    You have no sense of danger, do you?
    If this were Hell, you would've died long ago!
[01:48] ---
    I wouldn't be in Hell
    unless I was already dead.
[01:50] ---
    You've forced my hand...
[01:53] ---
    Hey, Yamashita!
[01:56] ---
    Start drinking my pee.
[01:57] ---
    I could sue you for sexual harassment, Ma'am.
[02:00] ---
    Now, now. Just try some first.
[02:02] ---
    She doesn't want to!
[02:06] ---
    Fine. I get it, Yamashita.
[02:08] ---
    Normally, that would cost 100 yen!
[02:11] ---
    You okay, Yamashita-san?
[02:12] ---
    That pee had neither taste nor odor...
[02:14] ---
    Yes!
[02:16] ---
    Yamashita's tasted it, so now it's YOUR turn.
[02:19] ---
    If she's already had some,
    that should be enough, right?
[02:21] ---
    It's pointless unless YOU drink it, too!
[02:24] ---
    Why are you making this all about me?
[02:28] ---
    "Why?" You stupid...
[02:30] ---
    What?
[02:32] ---
    You dumb sonofa...
[02:36] ---
    Of COURSE I want you to drink this!
[02:40] ---
    Huh?
[02:47] ---
    But why?
[02:48] ---
    Tanaka!
[02:50] ---
    I swear, you've always been this way!
[02:53] ---
    I still don't get it.
[02:55] ---
    So...You need me to drink your
    filtered pee to confirm your experiment, right?
[03:01] ---
    Yamashita-san already did that,
    yet you still want me to drink...
[03:06] ---
    Ah! So then...
[03:08] ---
    You're being mean to me?
[03:10] ---
    Just drink it already!
[03:12] ---
    Drink it and be grateful,
    Tanaka! This is MY pee!
[03:17] ---
    Look, what do you want from me?
[03:17] ---
    I made this pee!
    Look, what do you want from me?
[03:19] ---
    Drink, dammit!
[03:20] ---
    Stop it! C'mon, that's dirty!
[03:22] ---
    It's NOT dirty! It's been purified!
[03:24] ---
    Still, it's pee. That's pee!
[03:26] ---
    Okay, time out! Seriously, that's
    gross. It's REALLY gross!
[03:33] ---
    Stop calling me "gross," you stupid idiot!
[03:37] ---
    This is a difficult time for me!
[03:40] ---
    This doesn't seem like the behavior
    of someone who keeps talking about urine..
[03:44] ---
    Tanaka-senpai, you've gone too far.
[03:46] ---
    I'm sorry, but she's acting
    pretty weird today.
[03:50] ---
    She is indeed acting irrationally...
[03:50] ---
    My pee... All my pee! I tried so hard,
    and drank 10 liters of water to pump all this out!
[03:53] ---
    But I can understand her thinking.
[03:53] ---
    My pee... All my pee! I tried so hard,
    and drank 10 liters of water to pump all this out!
[03:55] ---
    But I can understand her thinking.
[03:55] ---
    I drank so much, I got all swollen!
[03:56] ---
    Huh?
[03:58] ---
    The truth is, she wants to
    be upfront with her feelings,
[04:04] ---
    but the thought has made her too nervous.
[04:08] ---
    I think that's why she chose
    this mistaken route instead.
[04:12] ---
    But it will be all right, Ma'am.
[04:15] ---
    I'm sure Tanaka-senpai will come around.
[04:17] ---
    Yamashita...
[04:19] ---
    Senpai, THIS is how serious she is.
[04:23] ---
    The rest is up to you. Please decide.
[04:28] ---
    Nope, I'm not drinking that.
[04:30] ---
    Dammit, Tanaka!
[04:31] ---
    This is when you should
    have gulped it all down!
[04:35] ---
    What's your problem, Tanaka?!
[04:37] ---
    Huh...?
[04:39] ---
    What IS your problem? You just stand like
    an idiot when someone says they like you?!
[04:42] ---
    Actually, no one's ever told me that...
[04:45] ---
    You've just been told! In
    the present progressive!
[04:48] ---
    Huh? By whom?!
[04:50] ---
    Just die already!
[04:52] ---
    You certainly are cranky today.
    If there are no club activities, I'm going home.
[04:57] ---
    Hey! Hold on one second! Tanaka!
[05:02] ---
    That fool simply left!
[05:04] ---
    How can he be so dense?!
[05:06] ---
    He's been that way ever
    since he joined the club!
[05:10] ---
    Eat me!
    Like that one time...
[05:11] ---
    I give you.
    And that other time!
[05:11] ---
    I Give YOU
[05:14] ---
    Then, when I was worried they'd shut down our club
    
[05:16] ---
    with the seniors moving on
    and it just being us two,
[05:18] ---
    he was like, "I'm sure two will be enough."
    Tanaka totally didn't think anything of it!
[05:24] ---
    Still...
[05:25] ---
    That's what I like about him!
[05:30] ---
    Ma'am...
[05:32] ---
    Maybe you should just slip it
    into his water bottle next time.
[05:34] ---
    No. I'm going to to mix it into his school lunch,
    then tell everyone over the intercom.
[05:39] ---
    That's. Just. Cruel.
[05:40] ---
    FILTER
[05:46] ---
    LAB
[05:47] ---
    LAB
    EXPERIMENT 2
    KUMATANDER NO. 2
[05:48] ---
    Be sure to hold it steady, okay?
[05:51] ---
    Hey, are you listening?
[05:52] ---
    You're not peeking up my skirt, right?
[05:56] ---
    Hey, dammit!
[05:57] ---
    You need to go along with the skit, Tanaka!
[06:00] ---
    I'm not really a fan of the theater.
[06:02] ---
    Who do you think I'm doing this for?!
[06:04] ---
    That's enough. Please just
    give me the bullet points.
[06:06] ---
    You sure are selfish, Tanaka!
[06:08] ---
    I swear, it would be nothing
    but trouble if we lived together.
[06:12] ---
    What do you mean by that?
[06:14] ---
    Just forget it already, you damn fool!
[06:16] ---
    Ahem. In any case...
[06:19] ---
    As we just saw, scoundrels tend to focus
    their gaze on the lower half of girls' bodies.
[06:23] ---
    One can infer that the reason
    for this lies in these frilly pleats!
[06:27] ---
    It stands to reason that the expectation of
[06:29] ---
    PANTIES being under this thin sheet of
    draped cloth fans the flames of carnal lust!
[06:33] ---
    And so...
[06:34] ---
    I present THIS!
[06:36] ---
    Kumatander No. 2!
[06:38] ---
    It is capable of manipulating
    the mysterious dark matter of outer space,
[06:41] ---
    allowing it to render a localized
    area completely invisible!
[06:46] ---
    Let's do this. Switch ON!
[06:48] ---
    Did it do anything?
[06:51] ---
    There, Tanaka! Take a look!
[06:56] ---
    Yamashita's glasses are
    brimming with dark matter!
[06:58] ---
    Maybe they're just sunglasses...
[07:00] ---
    Well? Pretty awesome, huh?
    Put simply, with one of these under your skirt...
[07:03] ---
    the panty region, which up
    till now has been on full display,
[07:06] ---
    can become like that of a figurine
    that has no intention of showing you the goods!
[07:11] ---
    Okay, now for today's main topic!
[07:13] ---
    Kumatander No. 2 can prevent panty shots...
[07:15] ---
    but to what angle will
    skirt access be blocked?! Let's test it out!
[07:21] ---
    We'll verify by lifting a skirt in 10-degree
    increments up to 120 degrees!
[07:25] ---
    Tanaka, you'll be taking
    notes. For real, okay?
[07:28] ---
    Understood.
[07:30] ---
    We'll start from zero degrees.
[07:31] ---
    RRRRUMBLE
[07:35] ---
    Check. Nothing visible.
[07:37] ---
    Wait just a moment.
[07:39] ---
    You need to sneak a peek from down HERE.
[07:40] ---
    Whaaat?
[07:41] ---
    This will do. I can't see anything.
[07:44] ---
    It won't do at all!
[07:45] ---
    This experiment is to verify
    its preventative abilities!
[07:48] ---
    You have to look in there! All up in there!
[07:50] ---
    But no one would try
    peering up a skirt from directly below.
[07:52] ---
    Just hurry and get an eyeful already!
[07:54] ---
    You're being oddly stubborn about this...
[07:56] ---
    I have NEVER heard a guy
    complain so much about being
[07:59] ---
    voluntarily invited to get
    up in a girl's crotch!
[08:01] ---
    Let's see
[08:06] ---
    Well, Tanaka?!
[08:07] ---
    Ah. Yes, no problem. All is hidden.
[08:10] ---
    Very well. So far, so good.
[08:13] ---
    I can't see... Can't see...
[08:13] ---
    Oh, that's right! There's
    something I forgot to mention.
[08:17] ---
    I have the utmost confidence in this device:
    thus, I can say with certainty
[08:20] ---
    that getting a look up
    this skirt is impossible!
[08:22] ---
    However, that makes for a
    rather humdrum experiment,
[08:25] ---
    which is why I have given
    myself a form of handicap...
[08:29] ---
    and I am wearing nothing underneath!
[08:35] ---
    ...What?
[08:35] ---
    Good Lord, are you DEAD?!
[08:38] ---
    I'm already looking from down here,
    so just lift it up to 40 degrees, please.
[08:42] ---
    What kind of attitude is that to have
    when asking a girl to lift up her skirt, you bastard?!
[08:46] ---
    HYAAAA!
[08:48] ---
    Check. No problem at 80 degrees either.
[08:51] ---
    Okay! Then it's time for
    the all-important 90-degree angle!
[08:56] ---
    Normally, this angle would put one's panties
    on full display.
[08:59] ---
    You know what that means, right?
[09:01] ---
    Well, Tanaka-kun?!
[09:05] ---
    Okay, next in line, please.
[09:08] ---
    You're quite good at playing the fool,
    Mr. Tight-Lipped Tanaka...
[09:12] ---
    but I know you are already
    approaching the boundaries of reason!
[09:16] ---
    You were a fool to step into
    the diabolical darkness of I, Ueno.
[09:19] ---
    Regret it all you want, but it's too late!
[09:25] ---
    Check. Can't see anything.
[09:26] ---
    Be embarrassed already!
[09:29] ---
    A girl just lifted her skirt all the way up
    when she's not wearing any panties!
[09:32] ---
    You need to need to have
    a suitable reaction, you damn fool!
[09:35] ---
    But, I couldn't see anything...
[09:38] ---
    You should totally be imagining how beneath that
    darkness, THAT lies completely exposed!
[09:42] ---
    What do you mean, "that"?
[09:44] ---
    I mean THAT, of course!
    That! The one and only "that"! You know, THAT!
[09:48] ---
    Please be more specific.
[09:52] ---
    C'mon, hurry.
[09:53] ---
    This idiot!
[09:57] ---
    ...don't.
[09:58] ---
    Sorry? I can't hear you.
[10:02] ---
    L-like, guys have a thing that girls don't.
[10:06] ---
    Why are you suddenly spouting riddles?
[10:08] ---
    It's not a riddle! It's a fact!
[10:11] ---
    Then please show it to me.
[10:13] ---
    Huh?
[10:16] ---
    Yamashita, help!
[10:19] ---
    I can't get a good look, so
    I'm going to switch this off.
[10:21] ---
    What? What?!
[10:25] ---
    YAMASHITA!

Season 1

E2 - Dass-Tan - 1-7-6 Protective Gear

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    EXPERIMENT NO. 3
    DASH-TAN
[00:05] ---
    SCIENCE
    EXPERIMENT NO. 3
    DASH-TAN
[00:06] ---
    SCIENCE
[00:06] ---
    Ma'am... What IS this?
[00:08] ---
    Don't get all worked up over it, Tanaka!
[00:12] ---
    Ma'am, everything is ready.
[00:14] ---
    Nice! Okay, let's begin!
[00:18] ---
    Give me your underwear, Tanaka.
[00:19] ---
    Are you a perv or something?
[00:20] ---
    Give me your underwear, Tanaka!
[00:22] ---
    Are you a perv or something?
[01:23] ---
    What are you talking about?
    That's just weird..
[01:25] ---
    I need you to drop those drawers!
[01:28] ---
    It's so I can test out my latest invention...
[01:31] ---
    Dash-tan, the instant deodorizer!
[01:34] ---
    Dash-tan emits mysterious
    electromagnetic waves at its target,
[01:38] ---
    allowing it to instantly smite any and all odors,
    guiding them straight to the heavens.
[01:44] ---
    And it's self-propelled!
[01:47] ---
    I don't think that's really necessary...
[01:49] ---
    In any case, we need the right medium
    to test its ability to deodorize.
[01:53] ---
    After consulting with Yamashita,
    it was determined that the
[01:56] ---
    most odoriferous substance at hand
[01:58] ---
    is YOUR underwear!
[01:59] ---
    It was your drawers hands down, Tanaka!
[02:02] ---
    This is beyond rude...
[02:04] ---
    Now then! We won't mind at all,
    so go ahead and drop those pants.
[02:07] ---
    But I'LL mind! Please stop
    always just picking on me.
[02:13] ---
    Why can't all three of us bring something?
[02:16] ---
    True, the more samples, the better...
[02:19] ---
    What do you say, Yamashita?
[02:21] ---
    Your reasoning is sound.
[02:23] ---
    All right, fine.
[02:25] ---
    We shall contribute something
    as well. However!
[02:27] ---
    This is a one-time deal!
[02:28] ---
    Please do it EVERY time.
[02:33] ---
    Standing there demanding that girls give up
[02:35] ---
    their panties... You're a real piece
    of garbage, aren't you?!
[02:37] ---
    No, this isn't what I meant!
[02:40] ---
    Tanaka, you give up your indoor slippers.
    Yamashita, we'll take your socks.
[02:44] ---
    And I, Ueno...
[02:46] ---
    shall contribute these tights!
[02:49] ---
    Now then, first off...
[02:51] ---
    Okay, Yamashita. I'll take these.
[02:54] ---
    What do you mean?
[02:56] ---
    Please smell each item.
[02:58] ---
    Huh?!
[02:59] ---
    We have to, or we won't know
    if the deodorization worked.
[03:03] ---
    I will take the first sniff.
[03:05] ---
    Hmm, hmm... Yes, I see.
[03:08] ---
    Huff, huff...
[03:09] ---
    Sure enough, these are a schoolgirl's socks,
    worn all day until well after class.
[03:13] ---
    That was unoriginal.
[03:14] ---
    You're up next, Tanaka!
[03:20] ---
    You fool. You've dug your own grave!
[03:22] ---
    This was all your idea, so
    there's no way you can refuse!
[03:26] ---
    And now, worm, you will sniff
    the tights of a girl that's right in front of you
[03:29] ---
    and experience the SHAME of
    having to share your thoughts!
[03:32] ---
    Go on, squirm in protest as you always do!
[03:35] ---
    Oh, it looks like he's
    already smelling them...
[03:38] ---
    Bweheheh! I get it:
    You dove right in to cover up your embarrassment.
[03:42] ---
    But you lack conviction, Tanaka!
[03:45] ---
    The shame is starting to show on your face.
[03:48] ---
    Bweheheh.
[03:49] ---
    Bweheheh!
[03:52] ---
    These STINK!
[03:56] ---
    W-well, if they didn't stink,
    they wouldn't make for good test samples.
[03:59] ---
    True, but these are just...
[04:02] ---
    They reek!
[04:04] ---
    Wait, this... Huh?
[04:08] ---
    Does this always happen?
[04:11] ---
    Senpai, please let me see those.
[04:14] ---
    Sniff. Sniff, sniff.
[04:16] ---
    No, I'd say these are normal.
[04:18] ---
    No way!
[04:20] ---
    My socks are about the same.
[04:22] ---
    Fine, then let me see your socks.
[04:27] ---
    No, Ueno-san's tights smell WAY worse.
[04:30] ---
    I'm telling you, they're the same!
[04:32] ---
    Yamashita-san, you don't get it
    because this is YOUR smell.
[04:36] ---
    Ueno Tanaka Yamashita
    W... Wait. Look at Yamashita's socks!
[04:37] ---
    But Tanaka-san's tights stink
    like eight of your socks!
[04:40] ---
    They don't stink!
[04:42] ---
    Well, I think we've got the general idea.
    Let's go deodorize these.
[04:45] ---
    We'll do nothing of the sort!
[04:47] ---
    Huh?
[04:48] ---
    They don't need cleaning
    because they don't stink!
[04:50] ---
    SCIENCE
[04:51] ---
    I know if something stinks, and those stink!
[04:53] ---
    No! No way, forget it!
[04:55] ---
    They don't smell, so they're fine as is!
[04:58] ---
    Let's clean them while we have the chance!
[05:01] ---
    This is a GOOD smell, one
    that's unique to us girls!
[05:04] ---
    No, it's nothing cute like that!
    These things reek, period!
[05:09] ---
    They don't stink! What
    are you talking about?!
[05:11] ---
    They DO stink! It's a fact!
[05:15] ---
    Ma'am!
[05:20] ---
    Ma'am!
[05:26] ---
    MA'AM!
[05:35] ---
    LAB
[05:36] ---
    LAB
    EXPERIMENT NO. 4
    1-7-6 PROTECTIVE GEAR
[05:36] ---
    Hmm, yeah...
[05:39] ---
    EXPERIMENT NO. 4
    1-7-6 PROTECTIVE GEAR
[05:39] ---
    Hold on a minute.
[05:46] ---
    I see right through you, Tanaka.
[05:48] ---
    I'm sure you've already noticed...
[05:51] ---
    That there's something different
    about this body, that is!
[05:55] ---
    Thickness
    Shock-absorbing gel
[05:55] ---
    One minute ago...
[05:57] ---
    Put simply! Beneath this seven-layer,
    ultra-thin elastic material
[05:57] ---
    Thickness
[06:02] ---
    lie six layers of shock-absorbing gel.
[06:04] ---
    With this, I was able to make
    protective clothing no thicker than normal fabric,
[06:07] ---
    yet able to absorb any and all attacks.
[06:09] ---
    Wow...
[06:10] ---
    But, you didn't bring it with you today?
[06:12] ---
    Hmph! Do you not get it, Tanaka?
[06:15] ---
    This "1-7-6 protective gear"
    that I have perfected...
[06:19] ---
    is already upon my person!
[06:22] ---
    If you can deduce where it is,
    then strike me with everything you've got!
[06:25] ---
    You will tremble in fear at
    how thin yet effective it is!
[06:29] ---
    Whoever guesses correctly shall
    receive this as a present!
[06:32] ---
    I don't really care about that.
[06:35] ---
    Naturally I, Ueno, have outfitted
    myself with Bra-Type Protective Gear.
[06:38] ---
    Taking my normal appearance into account,
    the difference should be obvious.
[06:43] ---
    Thus, I am unbeatable!
[06:44] ---
    UNBEATABLE
[06:46] ---
    Touching a woman's chest is,
    of course, forbidden! What's more...
[06:51] ---
    Tanaka is the picture of male puberty.
[06:53] ---
    At his age, he tries to hide
    when he's getting an eyeful of cleavage...
SIGN    (Forcible Indecency) Article 176 / A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits an indecent act upon a male or female of not less than 13 years of age shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not less than six months but not more than 10 years.
[06:57] ---
    but he's going to have to openly stare
    if he wants to get the deets on these teats!
[07:01] ---
    If he does that to where he
    can point out the difference,
[07:03] ---
    he'll be admitting that he's
    aware of my normal bust size!
[07:06] ---
    And the crux of this artfully
    crafted, multi-layered trap:
[07:09] ---
    Forever after, Tanaka's thoughts
    will turn to the jiggle of these jugs!
[07:14] ---
    Ah! I've got it!
[07:16] ---
    Oh...
[07:30] ---
    Wait a damn minute!
[07:33] ---
    How dare you smack a young girl's
    pert buttocks, you ape?!
[07:37] ---
    Well, you were the one who
    told me to hit you hard.
[07:40] ---
    But not HERE! Not here,
    dammit! Not friggin here!
[07:43] ---
    Tone it down a notch!
[07:45] ---
    You need to look somewhere you usually don't!
[07:51] ---
    Come on, take a good look at-
[07:53] ---
    Ah! This has GOT to be it!
[07:58] ---
    Dammit...
[08:00] ---
    I JUST TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT THERE!
[08:03] ---
    No, I'm sure it is. You always
    wear tights, but not today.
[08:07] ---
    I took them off because you kept
    saying how much they stink, you idiot!
[08:13] ---
    Hey, hold on. You're trying to
    smack me AGAIN, aren't you?
[08:18] ---
    Yamashita, help-!
[08:20] ---
    LAB
[08:25] ---
    Ma'am, can you please stop
    acting like it hurts?
[08:28] ---
    You should have cut that
    out after the first slap.
[08:33] ---
    Time out.
[08:34] ---
    Time out, time out! To be continued!
[08:37] ---
    Dammit! I swear, there's
    something wrong with that boy!
[08:42] ---
    Ma'am.
[08:49] ---
    You can't get away.
[08:54] ---
    I know what you're up to.
    You're calling time out so you can change, right?
[08:57] ---
    N-no!
[08:59] ---
    You always do this sort of thing.
[09:04] ---
    SMACK
[09:04] ---
    Look, just fess up. Drop the act already!
[09:04] ---
    SLAP
    SMACK
[09:05] ---
    SLAP
[09:05] ---
    POW
[09:06] ---
    WHACK
[09:06] ---
    SLAP
[09:07] ---
    POW!
[09:08] ---
    WHAM
[09:08] ---
    SMAAACK
[09:09] ---
    BLAM
SIGN     A person who, through assault or intimidation, forcibly commits an indecent act upon a male or female of not less than 13 years of age shall be punished by imprisonment with work for not less than six months but not more than 10 years. (Revisions made to Articles 156 (2004) and 72 (2016))
[09:13] ---
    This is it. I'm right, aren't I?
[09:19] ---
    Yes, that's it! You're right!
[09:25] ---
    It was obvious from the start,
    so there's no reason to cry.
[09:29] ---
    I'm going home now.
[09:30] ---
    Ah, Ma'am!
[09:32] ---
    What?
[09:38] ---
    Let me have that gear or whatever.
[09:40] ---
    You said you'd give it to
    me if I guessed correctly.
[09:42] ---
    Y-you bastard!
[09:45] ---
    Wait, hold on. Keep calm
    and make the right call.
[09:48] ---
    If I push back too hard, this
    ass of mine is done for.
[09:52] ---
    This time, I'll do as he says
    and bring this thing to a close.
[09:56] ---
    Still, I can't give him what's not there.
[10:00] ---
    Think, Ueno! What can I do?
[10:04] ---
    Huh... THIS is your protective gear?
    They just look like regular panties.
[10:09] ---
    B-because I made them that way.
[10:12] ---
    You know, I've thought
    this for a while now...
[10:17] ---
    You really have no fashion sense, do you?
[10:21] ---
    Still, it's not like I'd have any use for these,
    so you can have them back.
[10:26] ---
    Just kill me already!
[10:30] ---
    

Season 1

E3 - The Kilt Hide - Garakutan

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    LAB
[00:02] ---
    LAB
    No. 3
    THE KILT HIDE
[00:03] ---
    Excuse me! Ueno-san!
[00:06] ---
    No. 3
    THE KILT HIDE
[00:07] ---
    About that thing I asked you for...
[00:11] ---
    Ah. Yeah, it's all finished.
[00:13] ---
    Yaay! Thank you!
[00:16] ---
    You can just put it anywhere and that's it.
[00:19] ---
    This really is a big help!
[00:23] ---
    No time like the present...
[00:34] ---
    Kitanaga-san, wait just a minute!
[01:42] ---
    Kitanaga-san, wait just a minute!
[01:42] ---
    STOP
[01:44] ---
    Huh? What is it?
[01:46] ---
    Well, why are trying to strip?!
[01:49] ---
    I thought I may as well try it out.
[01:51] ---
    Y-you can't do that NOW! I mean,
    there's a MAN present!
[01:56] ---
    I don't really mind.
[01:58] ---
    That's not the point.
[02:01] ---
    Maybe the problem is...
[02:03] ---
    this bothers you for a DIFFERENT reason.
[02:07] ---
    Um...
[02:11] ---
    What are you two talking about?
[02:14] ---
    Well, apparently, we've had
    someone peeping on our club recently.
[02:19] ---
    I've already informed the teacher,
    but because I'm the club captain,
[02:22] ---
    I thought that I should do something too...
[02:26] ---
    That's why she asked me to invent THIS.
[02:31] ---
    The Kilt Hide.
[02:33] ---
    It measures and modulates
    the wave nature of light in the surrounding area,
[02:36] ---
    projecting psuedostereoscopic imagery
[02:38] ---
    upon any visual input that
    evokes lustful feelings.
[02:41] ---
    Thus, even should one be
    ogled by a camera-wielding pervert...
[02:47] ---
    it's capable of blocking
    access to all "sexy zones."
[02:54] ---
    STRIP
[02:54] ---
    CUT THAT OUT!
[02:56] ---
    Quit trying to get naked, Kitanaga-san!
[02:59] ---
    Huuh? C'mon...
[03:03] ---
    I have to try it here to see if it works.
[03:13] ---
    Yamashita!
[03:21] ---
    Jeez, Ueno-san!
[03:23] ---
    Look, hurry up and get dressed
    while you're in the clear!
[03:27] ---
    The. Whole. Point...
[03:30] ---
    ...is that a guy sees,
    or it's all for nothing.
[03:34] ---
    Tanaka-kun, was it?
[03:42] ---
    What do you think about THIS?
[03:46] ---
    Uh, well, you're being covered
    up by some black things.
[03:50] ---
    Hmm... Maybe my question wasn't quite clear.
[03:55] ---
    Answer again while imagining
    the whole scenario.
[04:02] ---
    You're sneaking a peek on
    the Swimming Club, when...
[04:07] ---
    you see those young girls
    changing into their swimsuits...
[04:12] ---
    their bodies all like THIS.
[04:15] ---
    Does that get you aroused at all?
[04:18] ---
    That's what I'm asking.
[04:42] ---
    M-m-my tit-tit... My titties!
    You tried to touch my titties!
[04:48] ---
    Dammit, Tanaka! Damn you!
[04:51] ---
    I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong idea!
[04:54] ---
    I wasn't trying to touch her...
[04:56] ---
    I was just curious what THAT'S all about.
[04:59] ---
    My titties?!
[05:01] ---
    No, not that those black things.
[05:05] ---
    What are they even attached to?
[05:08] ---
    You idiot! Don't get sidetracked
    by something totally unrelated!
[05:11] ---
    It's kind of a three-dimensional
    image projected into the air, okay?!
[05:17] ---
    Can you move it around?
[05:19] ---
    CUT IT OUT!
[05:21] ---
    Hey. Over here.
[05:24] ---
    Y-Yamashita!
[05:28] ---
    What is that?!
[05:30] ---
    Yes! Tanaka's gotten distracted.
    Put this on while you got the chance! Put it on!
[05:37] ---
    I was a little worried when
    I heard how much she's been stressing about this...
[05:42] ---
    Look, look... Looky, looky, looky...
    Hey, come on! What is that?
[05:47] ---
    but it looks like they're
    actually having fun.
[05:50] ---
    Well, I should be heading back now.
[05:53] ---
    Oh, you're leaving?
[05:55] ---
    I'm glad I got to see a different
    side of you, Ueno-san.
[06:02] ---
    I'll be back sometime soon to hang out again.
[06:07] ---
    Hey! You forgot all this!
[06:11] ---
    Kitanaga-saaan!
[06:22] ---
    Experiment No. 6
    Garakutan
[06:23] ---
    Aah, I'm so thirsty. Aaaah!
[06:26] ---
    You want some barley tea?
[06:27] ---
    AAAH, WHATEVER SHALL I DO?!
[06:31] ---
    Oh, that's right!
[06:35] ---
    I brought THIS today!
[06:38] ---
    That was some bad acting.
[06:38] ---
    So, what is that?
[06:40] ---
    Garakutan!
[06:42] ---
    By rotating clockwise with just the right amount of force
    
[06:44] ---
    it's able to reach out to our galaxy,
[06:45] ---
    MILKY WAY-SAN!
[06:46] ---
    and in mere moments produce
    fresh-tasting water.
[06:46] ---
    MILKY WAY-SAN!
    By: Milky Way
    LEAVE IT TO ME!
[06:50] ---
    Act now to receive this special
    three-vial set! BA-BAAM!
[06:50] ---
    SUITABLE FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS!
[06:53] ---
    All right, pay attention,
    dammit. Turn the lid like this, and...
[07:01] ---
    So, where did the water come from?
[07:04] ---
    You just tune people out, don't you, Tanaka?!
[07:08] ---
    This water...
[07:10] ---
    came from the Milky Way!
[07:13] ---
    That doesn't make sense.
[07:15] ---
    And now, young man,
    I give you the water of the Milky Way itself!
[07:19] ---
    Thanks.
[07:20] ---
    Go on! Gulp it down!
[07:22] ---
    Huh? No, I'm fine. YOU'RE the
    one who's thirsty, right?
[07:27] ---
    Actually, is this water even
    safe to drink? It's kind of suspicious...
[07:31] ---
    Hey! That's an insult to our galaxy!
[07:34] ---
    Give me that!
[07:36] ---
    I swear...
[07:52] ---
    Aah, the flavor of the Milky Way!
[07:55] ---
    That's way too enigmatic.
[07:58] ---
    Well?! Do you get it now?
[08:00] ---
    Okay, it's your turn to drink.
[08:02] ---
    I'm really not very thirsty.
[08:05] ---
    Just shut up and drink already!
[08:07] ---
    You sure are pushy...
[08:25] ---
    Aah, the flavor of the Milky Way!
[08:28] ---
    GRAAAARGH!
[08:31] ---
    Why did you have to an open up a new one?!
[08:34] ---
    Sorry.
[08:35] ---
    This one's already open!
[08:37] ---
    Well, I mean...
[08:39] ---
    You put your lips on that one, right?
[08:42] ---
    SHOCK!
[08:43] ---
    I've never been a fan of
    sharing the same drink with someone.
[08:46] ---
    It's just... off-putting.
[08:50] ---
    I'm sure you like it even
    less than me, right?
[08:53] ---
    Huh?
[08:54] ---
    I mean, a BOY is putting his
    mouth where yours has been.
[08:58] ---
    That sort of thing bothers
    girls even more, right?
[09:01] ---
    Gah! I-I don't worry about
    i-i-indirect kisses or things of that nature, actually!
[09:08] ---
    Ah, I swear! You boys,
    you scary boys think about that every single day!
[09:12] ---
    It's all part of puberty, yes!
    So our lips happen to touch the same spot, so what?!
[09:17] ---
    What meaning would such an action even have?!
[09:20] ---
    You're overthinking things,
    yes, very strange things!
[09:24] ---
    Ma'am. I get it. Go on,
    place your lips where mine have been.
[09:29] ---
    It should be no big deal, right?
[09:30] ---
    HUH?! Well, of course not!
[09:34] ---
    You rubbed your tongue all
    over this thing, didn't you?
[09:38] ---
    Yes, you really tongued this thing.
[09:41] ---
    L... Lick, lick... Lick, lick...
[09:46] ---
    Lick... Lick?
[09:48] ---
    LAB
[09:52] ---
    Oh, no. Are you okay?
[09:55] ---
    See? You DON'T want to
    put mouth there, right?
[09:58] ---
    You don't have to force yourself.
[10:01] ---
    I was being a little mean just now.
[10:04] ---
    I'll go get a rag.
[10:06] ---
    Blgh!
[10:18] ---
    Ma'am, that's the one that fell, right?
[10:21] ---
    THIS one's yours.
[10:23] ---
    Ah, yes, that's right! How clumsy of me!
[10:26] ---
    They look so similar! You
    can't blame me right?!
[10:29] ---
    Oh my, oh my!
[10:30] ---
    

Season 1

E4 - Ueno No. 13 - The SummonStat

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    LAB
[00:02] ---
    LAB
    No. 3
    THE KILT HIDE
[00:03] ---
    Excuse me! Ueno-san!
[00:06] ---
    No. 3
    THE KILT HIDE
[00:07] ---
    About that thing I asked you for...
[00:11] ---
    Ah. Yeah, it's all finished.
[00:13] ---
    Yaay! Thank you!
[00:16] ---
    You can just put it anywhere and that's it.
[00:19] ---
    This really is a big help!
[00:23] ---
    No time like the present...
[00:34] ---
    Kitanaga-san, wait just a minute!
[01:42] ---
    Kitanaga-san, wait just a minute!
[01:42] ---
    STOP
[01:44] ---
    Huh? What is it?
[01:46] ---
    Well, why are trying to strip?!
[01:49] ---
    I thought I may as well try it out.
[01:51] ---
    Y-you can't do that NOW! I mean,
    there's a MAN present!
[01:56] ---
    I don't really mind.
[01:58] ---
    That's not the point.
[02:01] ---
    Maybe the problem is...
[02:03] ---
    this bothers you for a DIFFERENT reason.
[02:07] ---
    Um...
[02:11] ---
    What are you two talking about?
[02:14] ---
    Well, apparently, we've had
    someone peeping on our club recently.
[02:19] ---
    I've already informed the teacher,
    but because I'm the club captain,
[02:22] ---
    I thought that I should do something too...
[02:26] ---
    That's why she asked me to invent THIS.
[02:31] ---
    The Kilt Hide.
[02:33] ---
    It measures and modulates
    the wave nature of light in the surrounding area,
[02:36] ---
    projecting psuedostereoscopic imagery
[02:38] ---
    upon any visual input that
    evokes lustful feelings.
[02:41] ---
    Thus, even should one be
    ogled by a camera-wielding pervert...
[02:47] ---
    it's capable of blocking
    access to all "sexy zones."
[02:54] ---
    STRIP
[02:54] ---
    CUT THAT OUT!
[02:56] ---
    Quit trying to get naked, Kitanaga-san!
[02:59] ---
    Huuh? C'mon...
[03:03] ---
    I have to try it here to see if it works.
[03:13] ---
    Yamashita!
[03:21] ---
    Jeez, Ueno-san!
[03:23] ---
    Look, hurry up and get dressed
    while you're in the clear!
[03:27] ---
    The. Whole. Point...
[03:30] ---
    ...is that a guy sees,
    or it's all for nothing.
[03:34] ---
    Tanaka-kun, was it?
[03:42] ---
    What do you think about THIS?
[03:46] ---
    Uh, well, you're being covered
    up by some black things.
[03:50] ---
    Hmm... Maybe my question wasn't quite clear.
[03:55] ---
    Answer again while imagining
    the whole scenario.
[04:02] ---
    You're sneaking a peek on
    the Swimming Club, when...
[04:07] ---
    you see those young girls
    changing into their swimsuits...
[04:12] ---
    their bodies all like THIS.
[04:15] ---
    Does that get you aroused at all?
[04:18] ---
    That's what I'm asking.
[04:42] ---
    M-m-my tit-tit... My titties!
    You tried to touch my titties!
[04:48] ---
    Dammit, Tanaka! Damn you!
[04:51] ---
    I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong idea!
[04:54] ---
    I wasn't trying to touch her...
[04:56] ---
    I was just curious what THAT'S all about.
[04:59] ---
    My titties?!
[05:01] ---
    No, not that those black things.
[05:05] ---
    What are they even attached to?
[05:08] ---
    You idiot! Don't get sidetracked
    by something totally unrelated!
[05:11] ---
    It's kind of a three-dimensional
    image projected into the air, okay?!
[05:17] ---
    Can you move it around?
[05:19] ---
    CUT IT OUT!
[05:21] ---
    Hey. Over here.
[05:24] ---
    Y-Yamashita!
[05:28] ---
    What is that?!
[05:30] ---
    Yes! Tanaka's gotten distracted.
    Put this on while you got the chance! Put it on!
[05:37] ---
    I was a little worried when
    I heard how much she's been stressing about this...
[05:42] ---
    Look, look... Looky, looky, looky...
    Hey, come on! What is that?
[05:47] ---
    but it looks like they're
    actually having fun.
[05:50] ---
    Well, I should be heading back now.
[05:53] ---
    Oh, you're leaving?
[05:55] ---
    I'm glad I got to see a different
    side of you, Ueno-san.
[06:02] ---
    I'll be back sometime soon to hang out again.
[06:07] ---
    Hey! You forgot all this!
[06:11] ---
    Kitanaga-saaan!
[06:22] ---
    Experiment No. 6
    Garakutan
[06:23] ---
    Aah, I'm so thirsty. Aaaah!
[06:26] ---
    You want some barley tea?
[06:27] ---
    AAAH, WHATEVER SHALL I DO?!
[06:31] ---
    Oh, that's right!
[06:35] ---
    I brought THIS today!
[06:38] ---
    That was some bad acting.
[06:38] ---
    So, what is that?
[06:40] ---
    Garakutan!
[06:42] ---
    By rotating clockwise with just the right amount of force
    
[06:44] ---
    it's able to reach out to our galaxy,
[06:45] ---
    MILKY WAY-SAN!
[06:46] ---
    and in mere moments produce
    fresh-tasting water.
[06:46] ---
    MILKY WAY-SAN!
    By: Milky Way
    LEAVE IT TO ME!
[06:50] ---
    Act now to receive this special
    three-vial set! BA-BAAM!
[06:50] ---
    SUITABLE FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS!
[06:53] ---
    All right, pay attention,
    dammit. Turn the lid like this, and...
[07:01] ---
    So, where did the water come from?
[07:04] ---
    You just tune people out, don't you, Tanaka?!
[07:08] ---
    This water...
[07:10] ---
    came from the Milky Way!
[07:13] ---
    That doesn't make sense.
[07:15] ---
    And now, young man,
    I give you the water of the Milky Way itself!
[07:19] ---
    Thanks.
[07:20] ---
    Go on! Gulp it down!
[07:22] ---
    Huh? No, I'm fine. YOU'RE the
    one who's thirsty, right?
[07:27] ---
    Actually, is this water even
    safe to drink? It's kind of suspicious...
[07:31] ---
    Hey! That's an insult to our galaxy!
[07:34] ---
    Give me that!
[07:36] ---
    I swear...
[07:52] ---
    Aah, the flavor of the Milky Way!
[07:55] ---
    That's way too enigmatic.
[07:58] ---
    Well?! Do you get it now?
[08:00] ---
    Okay, it's your turn to drink.
[08:02] ---
    I'm really not very thirsty.
[08:05] ---
    Just shut up and drink already!
[08:07] ---
    You sure are pushy...
[08:25] ---
    Aah, the flavor of the Milky Way!
[08:28] ---
    GRAAAARGH!
[08:31] ---
    Why did you have to an open up a new one?!
[08:34] ---
    Sorry.
[08:35] ---
    This one's already open!
[08:37] ---
    Well, I mean...
[08:39] ---
    You put your lips on that one, right?
[08:42] ---
    SHOCK!
[08:43] ---
    I've never been a fan of
    sharing the same drink with someone.
[08:46] ---
    It's just... off-putting.
[08:50] ---
    I'm sure you like it even
    less than me, right?
[08:53] ---
    Huh?
[08:54] ---
    I mean, a BOY is putting his
    mouth where yours has been.
[08:58] ---
    That sort of thing bothers
    girls even more, right?
[09:01] ---
    Gah! I-I don't worry about
    i-i-indirect kisses or things of that nature, actually!
[09:08] ---
    Ah, I swear! You boys,
    you scary boys think about that every single day!
[09:12] ---
    It's all part of puberty, yes!
    So our lips happen to touch the same spot, so what?!
[09:17] ---
    What meaning would such an action even have?!
[09:20] ---
    You're overthinking things,
    yes, very strange things!
[09:24] ---
    Ma'am. I get it. Go on,
    place your lips where mine have been.
[09:29] ---
    It should be no big deal, right?
[09:30] ---
    HUH?! Well, of course not!
[09:34] ---
    You rubbed your tongue all
    over this thing, didn't you?
[09:38] ---
    Yes, you really tongued this thing.
[09:41] ---
    L... Lick, lick... Lick, lick...
[09:46] ---
    Lick... Lick?
[09:48] ---
    LAB
[09:52] ---
    Oh, no. Are you okay?
[09:55] ---
    See? You DON'T want to
    put mouth there, right?
[09:58] ---
    You don't have to force yourself.
[10:01] ---
    I was being a little mean just now.
[10:04] ---
    I'll go get a rag.
[10:06] ---
    Blgh!
[10:18] ---
    Ma'am, that's the one that fell, right?
[10:21] ---
    THIS one's yours.
[10:23] ---
    Ah, yes, that's right! How clumsy of me!
[10:26] ---
    They look so similar! You
    can't blame me right?!
[10:29] ---
    Oh my, oh my!
[10:30] ---
    

Season 1

E5 - The P-Specter - The PE Reserver

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 9
    The P-Specter
[00:02] ---
    Ma'am, is it really all right for
[00:04] ---
    us to be at school after hours?
[00:07] ---
    SCIENCE
    Experiment No. 9
    The P-Specter
[00:07] ---
    Not to worry. I've already gotten
    permission thanks to, you know, THAT.
[00:08] ---
    SCIENCE
[00:11] ---
    Still, what on Earth do you intend to do?
[00:14] ---
    I'm sure even you two know the stories.
    Our school bears the stain of...
[00:17] ---
    The Eight Suspicious Rumors!
[00:20] ---
    The legend of the mermaid
    believed to appear at the pool each night.
[00:22] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[00:35] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:41] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:46] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:49] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:53] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:57] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:59] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:05] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:10] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:11] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[01:17] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:22] ---
    The legend of the mermaid who
     appears at the pool at night.
[01:26] ---
    The pale shadow that stares from across
    the Art Department, in a room forbidden to be opened.
[01:29] ---
    Mysterious puddles of water
    that suddenly spring forth on school grounds.
[01:32] ---
    Countless eyeballs that inhabit
    the small window in the gymnasium.
[01:35] ---
    The tennis court rebounder
    that can tell you your future.
[01:38] ---
    The doppelganger of the lab prep room!
[01:40] ---
    The cursed desk in the music
    room that swallows up all.
[01:44] ---
    The groaning sound
    in the girls' toilet of the old school building.
[01:44] ---
    Ooooooooo
[01:48] ---
    These are the phenomena
    known as Hell's Eight Mysteries...
[01:53] ---
    And I'm gonna shed light on all of them,
    using THIS device!
[01:57] ---
    The P-Specter! Its Twilight Sensor
    and spectrally attuned mic
[02:00] ---
    can capture the activity
    of non-human entities
[02:03] ---
    and display an approximated
    representation upon its screen.
[02:07] ---
    With this, I can...
[02:10] ---
    send a lovey-dovey message
    to any unknown beings out there!
[02:16] ---
    Okay! I'm gonna go scout the school grounds
    and solve me some mysteries!
[02:19] ---
    Ma'am, do you plan on scouting
    the whole school tonight?
[02:22] ---
    Pool
[02:22] ---
    I think that's going to take quite a while.
[02:24] ---
    Gym
    Parking lot
[02:25] ---
    Indeed. It would take until
    dawn to check each location.
[02:25] ---
    Tennis courts
    Meal supply center
[02:27] ---
    Sports field
[02:28] ---
    Main entrance
    Lab (Science Club)
    Courtyard
[02:29] ---
    Therefore! No. 13, activate!
[02:35] ---
    Class 3-4
[02:35] ---
    Along with No. 13, we'll form pairs to share
    the load and solve this case more efficiently!
[02:40] ---
    I think you could solve the mystery
    of the lab prep room right now, though...
[02:44] ---
    We'll start by having Yamashita
    and No. 13 check the gymnasium.
[02:46] ---
    Skid.
[02:46] ---
    We'll start by having Yamashita
    and No. 13 check the gymnasium.
[02:46] ---
    We'll start by having Yamashita
    and No. 13 check the gymnasium.
[02:47] ---
    Tanaka and I will take on the pool.
[02:50] ---
    Understood.
[02:54] ---
    "Understood," he says!
[02:56] ---
    Little does he know
    that this course o' mystery we shall take
[02:59] ---
    has already been set with
    an array of boobytraps!
[03:00] ---
    It will be trouble after
    trouble! Scream after scream!
[03:05] ---
    And when touched by a young
    girl's slender, trembling arm...
[03:10] ---
    will your spirit be able
    to keep its wits about it?!
[03:11] ---
    Tee-hee-hee!
    will your spirit be able to keep its wits about it?!
[03:17] ---
    Sure enough, it's pitch dark, isn't it?
[03:21] ---
    BOOO!
[03:24] ---
    Ha-haa! You got scared,
    you got scared. Scaredy-scared-scared!
[03:28] ---
    Actually, Ma'am, it's
    just that you were loud.
[03:28] ---
    Ha-haa! You got scared,
    you got scared. Scaredy-scared-scared!
[03:32] ---
    I swear... Candle you handle it, Tanaka?
    Like, when it really counts?
[03:38] ---
    Okay!
[03:39] ---
    What do you say we get started?
[03:41] ---
    Excuse me...
[03:44] ---
    Ma'am, excuse me.
[03:47] ---
    What is it, Yamashita?
[04:08] ---
    I'll go look for something to wipe that up!
[04:11] ---
    I-I-I'm sorry, Yamashita. I
    guess I was a bit too loud.
[04:17] ---
    No, actually... This started before that.
[04:23] ---
    Oh, yeah?
[04:25] ---
    I get it. I guess you're not
    cut out for this kind of stuff, huh?
[04:29] ---
    You should have told me as soon as you thought
    you wouldn't be able to do this, Yamashita.
[04:37] ---
    But...
[04:39] ---
    But, you put so much work into this plan.
[04:43] ---
    Yamashita... I'm so sorry.
    You were trying not to hurt my feelings.
[04:49] ---
    In any case, we have to
    do something about this.
[04:52] ---
    We can use any old rag for the floor,
    but we need something to wipe you off.
[04:56] ---
    Where did that fool Tanaka run off to?
[05:00] ---
    Please use this to wipe your body.
[05:04] ---
    No. 13...
[05:06] ---
    Oh. You put two layers on, huh?
[05:10] ---
    Please remove your wet clothing.
[05:15] ---
    ...All right.
[05:16] ---
    And what do we do about THAT?
[05:19] ---
    I shall initiate cleaning and
    water removal procedures.
[05:28] ---
    That's a caregiver robot for you, all right.
[05:32] ---
    Please be sure not to catch a cold.
[05:35] ---
    Th-thank you.
[05:38] ---
    Yamashita-san!
[05:40] ---
    You took your damn time!
[05:42] ---
    Here. Sorry, it's just my jersey.
[05:44] ---
    Also, you can use these.
[05:46] ---
    FILTER
[05:50] ---
    Tanaka... Your "kindness"
    doesn't accomplish much, huh?
[06:02] ---
    Experiment No. 10
    PE Reserver
[06:03] ---
    She sure is late...
[06:06] ---
    Yamashita-san, did she tell you anything?
[06:08] ---
    No.
[06:12] ---
    The heck? She's been on the veranda?
[06:21] ---
    Ah! It's some stranger!
[06:27] ---
    Sorry 'bout that. It didn't occur
    to me it might be locked!
[06:31] ---
    What were you doing out on the veranda?
[06:34] ---
    My business does not involve the veranda.
[06:37] ---
    Rather, it concerns the Science Club:
    specifically, Ueno-san.
[06:40] ---
    Gym
    Parking lot
    Sports field
    Front entrance Lab (Science Club)
[06:40] ---
    This was the shortest route here
    from the athletic grounds!
[06:42] ---
    Main Entrance
    Lab (Science Club)
    Courtyard
[06:45] ---
    Sorry, so, you're coming in from outside?
[06:48] ---
    That's what I just said, right?
[06:50] ---
    But this is the third floor...
[06:53] ---
    Well, well. It would seem that
    introductions are in order!
[06:58] ---
    I'm Nishihara, captain of
    the Track and Field Club,
[07:01] ---
    and by training daily and getting
    the right amount of rest,
[07:06] ---
    I've gained SUPERIOR athletic
    skills that defy reason!
[07:12] ---
    Me, shoot, I could climb three stories
    using just my right toboggan here!
[07:19] ---
    Don't you think that's a
    strange way to refer to your thighs?
[07:21] ---
    But today, I've come to ask Ueno-chan about these
    unparalleled physical abilities of mine...
[07:26] ---
    for these superhuman skills are
    accompanied by an equally ferocious metabolism!
[07:31] ---
    Behold!
[07:33] ---
    I've sweated so much that all this
    water could be mistaken for incontinence!
[07:37] ---
    At this rate, I could be seen
    as a girl who indiscriminately squirts pee of joy!
[07:42] ---
    Okay, I get it.
[07:44] ---
    Ueno-chan! Please do something!
[07:47] ---
    I can hear you from out in the hallway!
[07:50] ---
    Here, put these on!
[07:53] ---
    The PE Reserver.
[07:55] ---
    Its ultra-high density,
    four-dimensional cross-stitch pattern resin
[07:57] ---
    derived from agar-agar can absorb liquids,
[07:59] ---
    storing up to five liters while
    retaining its surface area.
[08:00] ---
    PE RESERVER
    CUT SEAWEED-SAN
[08:04] ---
    With this two-piece set on,
[08:06] ---
    you'll be fine even on the SWEATIEST of days!
[08:08] ---
    Okay, I may as well put it on!
[08:10] ---
    Go change in the other room!
[08:10] ---
    STRIP
[08:15] ---
    Yeah... This sure is comfortable!
[08:18] ---
    And it's soaking the sweat right up!
[08:21] ---
    This is incredible, Ueno-chan!
[08:23] ---
    Oh, we're just getting started.
[08:25] ---
    The PE Server has a release valve
    that allows you to expel water.
[08:29] ---
    What's more, because it's been purified,
    this water is safe to drink!
[08:36] ---
    Recycling!
[08:39] ---
    Here.
[08:41] ---
    Huh?
[08:42] ---
    Go ahead.
[08:43] ---
    Uh, no thanks. Not that water.
[08:46] ---
    What gives? This is a rare chance
    to sup on a young girl's bodily secretions.
[08:51] ---
    Nishihara-san, Tanaka is THAT type.
[08:54] ---
    Oh, sorry. I should've noticed.
[08:59] ---
    Here.
[09:00] ---
    Uh, Nishihara-san...
[09:03] ---
    He really is a blockhead
    about this kind of thing.
[09:06] ---
    Hmm...
[09:07] ---
    Hey! Shut up with you "Hmm," you halfwit!
[09:10] ---
    Why'd you look like you were
    considering it, you slug?!
[09:12] ---
    Well, the top would be
    preferable to the bottom, so-
[09:15] ---
    You don't get to go choosing
    your preferred spigot!
[09:18] ---
    What's with you? You get mad at me no matter.
[09:22] ---
    So then, what exactly should I do?
[09:26] ---
    You should just be honest.
[09:29] ---
    If you want some of Nishihara's fresh brewed,
    first press brew, go ahead and drink up.
[09:36] ---
    Come on, come on...
[09:38] ---
    Come on, come on, come on,
    come on, come on, come on!
[09:46] ---
    So, YOU'RE going to drink it?
[09:48] ---
    ysh, I shll drnk...
[09:50] ---
    What you're saying is unintelligible.
[09:55] ---
    B-DMP
[09:55] ---
    What... What is this feeling?
[09:57] ---
    B-DMP
    B-DMP
[09:59] ---
    When I look at Ueno-chan,
    sucking so hard like that,
[10:02] ---
    there's this deep throbbing
    that rises up from within me.
[10:02] ---
    B-DMP
    B-DMP
[10:06] ---
    I don't understand it, but
    somehow, my instincts know.
[10:11] ---
    This feeling is...
[10:15] ---
    Maternal instinct.
[10:17] ---
    MATERNAL INSTINCT.
[10:21] ---
    Ooh, there there. You're thirsty, aren't you?
[10:25] ---
    Go on and drink some more,
    Ueno-tan. Have more of mama's br-
[10:35] ---
    No matter how big a blockhead
    you are, surely you've noticed
[10:41] ---
    I've tried tactic after tactic, right?
[10:46] ---
    You're bound to act this way,
    I'm sure of it the plan is perfect, I think
[10:51] ---
    And yet, why does this exceed my expectations
[10:56] ---
    Feelings I've had come spilling out
[11:07] ---
    Do you love me? (Love me!)
[11:09] ---
    Turn around already
[11:10] ---
    Wait (Wait)
[11:12] ---
    The timing makes me happy but shy
[11:18] ---
    Happy! (Happy!)
[11:19] ---
    It can't be helped, right?
[11:21] ---
    Because (Because)
[11:22] ---
    I want you to pay more attention to me

Season 1

E6 - II Umbrella - E-Q Booster

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 11
    II Umbrella
[00:07] ---
    Wow, it's really coming down...
[00:10] ---
    I didn't even bring an umbrella today.
[00:13] ---
    I swear, Tanaka. You're
    still using an umbrella?
[00:18] ---
    The age of humanity clinging
    to some mere stick has passed...
[00:22] ---
    Thanks to this item!
[00:27] ---
    What are you going to do?
[00:29] ---
    Just you watch.
[00:31] ---
    A picture is worth a thousand words!
[00:34] ---
    Hey! Don't go looking up my skirt!
[00:45] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[00:58] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[01:04] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[01:09] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[01:12] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[01:16] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[01:20] ---
    A premonition of love
[01:22] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:28] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:33] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:34] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[01:40] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:46] ---
    First, we set up this
    device here on your head.
[01:51] ---
    Well, Tanaka? Can you tell what's different?
[01:53] ---
    No, I can't.
[01:54] ---
    Correct! You couldn't know that because
    it hasn't been turned on yet. SWITCH ON!
[02:04] ---
    Next, we shall use this...
[02:07] ---
    A mysterious device from
    which water shall emerge.
[02:12] ---
    What? Hey!
[02:19] ---
    Huh? I'm not wet.
[02:24] ---
    It's like it's some barrier!
[02:26] ---
    This is no barrier! The device deploys
    an anti-gravitational field upward,
[02:32] ---
    Creating a low-level gravitational wall
    that deflects whatever it encounters.
[02:36] ---
    Attach this, and you yourself form part of an
    "umbrella" and releasing umbrella-like properties.
[02:41] ---
    And so, we have named this device...
[02:43] ---
    The II Umbrella!
[02:46] ---
    So, it IS an umbrella.
[02:48] ---
    TANAKA]
    Still, this is great, Ma'am.
    It will change the whole history of umbrellas.
[02:52] ---
    Indeed, indeed...
[02:54] ---
    Now, humankind will be
    able to combat the rain!
[02:57] ---
    The era that follows I, Ueno,
    shall live in prosperity and-
[03:03] ---
    Gah!
[03:11] ---
    Ow. I swear, Ma'm. Why are
    you throwing kicks at... me?
[03:21] ---
    Are you all right?
[03:22] ---
    Wh-what do you mean?
[03:25] ---
    You just hurt your butt, didn't you?
[03:26] ---
    No, nothing of the sort!
[03:29] ---
    But look, you're holding it.
[03:32] ---
    Ma'am, we should go to the nurse's office.
[03:35] ---
    I shall not go!
[03:37] ---
    Ma'am!
[03:38] ---
    Ma'am...
[03:41] ---
    It would be pointless for me to go!
[03:53] ---
    MA'AM!
[03:56] ---
    There's something strange
    going on with your skirt.
[03:58] ---
    It is not strange...
[04:00] ---
    There's no way that's NOT strange!
[04:03] ---
    Something utterly strange is going on!
[04:06] ---
    Ma'am...
[04:08] ---
    I shall confirm the current state of affairs.
[04:13] ---
    You just stay there and wait, Tanaka!
[04:22] ---
    Ah. Ma'am, it's just tangled
    up with your panties.
[04:26] ---
    What is?!
[04:28] ---
    That was a close call, I'd say.
[04:30] ---
    Hey! What's all "tangled up"?
[04:34] ---
    Shut up, Tanaka! Just die already!
[04:37] ---
    You're scaring me...
[04:39] ---
    I will now extract it, Ma'am.
[04:41] ---
    Be gentle.
[04:43] ---
    Yes. I shall be gentle. Here goes. Everything
[04:48] ---
    will be fine. All right, here
    I go. Just try to relax...
[04:55] ---
    ...Ma'am? Ma'am!
[04:58] ---
    Ma'am!
[04:59] ---
    What, Tanaka?
[05:01] ---
    I didn't bring an umbrella today.
    Please let me in there with you.
[05:07] ---
    Well, fine. But this is a special case.
[05:09] ---
    Thank goodness!
[05:16] ---
    Hey!
[05:17] ---
    I mean, I'm sticking out halfway.
[05:20] ---
    Please come a little closer.
[05:23] ---
    Okay, fine. Just move your hand.
[05:29] ---
    I swear.
[05:41] ---
    MATERNAL INSTINCT
[05:46] ---
    in Charge
[05:47] ---
    in Charge
    Experiment No. 12
    E-Q Booster
[05:50] ---
    Experiment No. 12
    E-Q Booster
[05:57] ---
    It seems the time has come to settle this.
[06:00] ---
    Awaken...
[06:02] ---
    Class 3-4
[06:03] ---
    E-Q Booster!
[06:12] ---
    The Epsilon-Quick Booster!
[06:15] ---
    It suppresses the so-called,
    "fifth force, " protophobic X-Boson,
[06:21] ---
    thus increasing or decreasing
    the strength of the wearer.
[06:25] ---
    It also has a lever of
    unknown purpose: the NAZO!
[06:28] ---
    So, it makes you stronger, right?
[06:30] ---
    This is nothing so pedestrian!
[06:33] ---
    This device instantaneously measures
    the power level of one's opponent
[06:38] ---
    and conveys the corresponding
    amount to the wearer!
[06:42] ---
    Currently, even one such as I...
[06:44] ---
    have within me the same
    destructive power as YOU!
[06:48] ---
    It's not like I'm that strong or anything...
[06:51] ---
    Listen up, Tanaka:
[06:52] ---
    it's the secondary sex characteristics
    that affect our physical performance,
[06:55] ---
    causing a sizable gap between men and women.
[06:57] ---
    These individual differences make it
    hard for the average girl to overpower a man.
[07:03] ---
    Now then! What if that gap
    in performance were eliminated?
[07:07] ---
    What we shall now undertake
    is no mere sumo death match!
[07:12] ---
    This is woman vs. man,
    with the pride of each on the line...
[07:16] ---
    Final Sumo Match from Hell!
[07:20] ---
    Do you get it, Tanaka?
    There'll be no need for you to hold back!
[07:24] ---
    Understood.
[07:26] ---
    This battle will be a
    clash of equal strength!
[07:29] ---
    Ready...
[07:31] ---
    Begin.
[07:33] ---
    The victor will be the one
    whose conviction is stronger!
[07:41] ---
    Hey!
[07:47] ---
    Ma'am, I'm going to push
    you out of the ring now.
[07:53] ---
    I protest, you blockhead!
[07:57] ---
    in Charge
[08:03] ---
    Behold! This was a battle of equal strength,
    yet I was the one who struggled.
[08:09] ---
    "My, that's strange" is what
    you should be thinking!
[08:12] ---
    Well, you told me not to
    pull any punches, so...
[08:15] ---
    You could try to get a clue
    every once in a while!
[08:17] ---
    If you simply LOOK, you'll
    see I haven't turned it on!
[08:21] ---
    Sorry.
[08:22] ---
    If the odds are in your favor,
    you just go all-out for it, don't you?
[08:28] ---
    Huh?
[08:28] ---
    Never mind, dammit!
[08:32] ---
    It's now or never.
[08:33] ---
    Did you turn it on?
[08:34] ---
    Yes, I did!
[08:36] ---
    Ready... And they're off.
[08:42] ---
    Whoa! This is completely
    different from before!
[08:51] ---
    The E-Q Booster indeed
    functions as I explained,
[08:54] ---
    but that's only the Booster itself.
[08:55] ---
    E-Q BOOSTER
    TANAKA
[08:56] ---
    In fact, the power of the wearer
    is also added to the equation.
[08:56] ---
    E-Q BOOSTER
    UEONO
    TANAKA
[09:00] ---
    Put simply, with only his own strength,
    Tanaka is completely outclassed!
[09:05] ---
    The skinny arms of a soft young girl...
    you will yield to them, helpless to resist!
[09:14] ---
    What's the matter, Tanaka?
[09:17] ---
    Do you lack the strength of conviction?
[09:21] ---
    Huh?
[09:24] ---
    in Charge
[09:25] ---
    Come now. What's the matter?
[09:28] ---
    Is THIS the best a man can do?
[09:32] ---
    How pitiful you are. Are
    you a baby or something?
[09:43] ---
    Hey! Where do you... think you're grabbing?!
[09:48] ---
    For men...
[09:50] ---
    This guy's losing it!
[09:58] ---
    For the pride of men everywhere!
[10:02] ---
    Okay! Fine, I get it!
[10:04] ---
    I cannot lose!
[10:06] ---
    You've already won!
[10:08] ---
    I absolutely must not lose!
[10:24] ---
    There, there.
[10:28] ---
    There, there.
[10:30] ---
    Snooze...

Season 1

E7 - Panty Roti - The Gacha-Porter

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    LAB
[00:02] ---
    LAB
    Experiment No. 13
    Panty Roti
[00:03] ---
    We shall now kick off our meeting
[00:05] ---
    Experiment No. 13
    Panty Roti
[00:05] ---
    per the Tanaka Panty-Tasting project,
[00:08] ---
    or "TPT" for short.
[00:12] ---
    Tanaka! Panty! Tast-!
[00:14] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[00:27] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:33] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:38] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:41] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:45] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:49] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:51] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[00:57] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:01] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:03] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[01:09] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:14] ---
    This plan hinges on what can be
    divided into three essential elements.
[01:19] ---
    First up is this...
[01:22] ---
    Hunger!
[01:24] ---
    Hunger
    Camouflage
    Change
[01:24] ---
    This is as it sounds, inciting
    Tanaka to feel "hungry."
[01:27] ---
    This has actually already been accomplished.
[01:30] ---
    For the last six months, I
    have gradually replaced the
[01:32] ---
    tableware in Tanaka's
    home with smaller items.
[01:34] ---
    I have also reduced the amount
    of his school lunches by 20%.
[01:38] ---
    GIVE ME THAT!
    NO!
[01:39] ---
    As a result, Tanaka is generally gripped
    by feelings of hunger,
[01:42] ---
    and in a state of willingness
    to eat just about anything.
[01:43] ---
    *"Full"
[01:46] ---
    Now then, does anyone have
    any questions so far?
[01:49] ---
    Yes, Yamashita.
[01:49] ---
    Regardless of how hungry Tanaka is,
    I don't believe that he would eat panties.
[01:52] ---
    An excellent point, Yamashita.
[01:54] ---
    Indeed, hunger notwithstanding,
    he would not eat panties.
[01:57] ---
    The reason for this is...
[02:00] ---
    Panties cannot be eaten!
[02:03] ---
    And yet, Yamashita, what if... What if?!
[02:06] ---
    What if that very premise
    could be overcome? What then?!
[02:09] ---
    UENO-SAN'S
    SCIENCE COOKING
[02:09] ---
    Ueno-san's Science Cooking!
[02:12] ---
    At first glance, these appear to be cute
    yet ordinary panties. Plop!
[02:12] ---
    UENO-SAN'S
    SCIENCE COOKING
[02:16] ---
    However, they are composed
    of a special fabric made from glutinous rice flour.
[02:19] ---
    By placing them in boiling
    water for five minutes,
[02:20] ---
    Boil in Water
[02:21] ---
    the rice flour is simultaneously
[02:23] ---
    broken down and reformed,
[02:25] ---
    becoming a yummy sweet
    with a sticky consistency!
[02:31] ---
    All done: the Panty Roti, a newly developed,
[02:35] ---
    hybrid combination of panties
    and emergency rations!
[02:38] ---
    This addresses the "Change"
    point mentioned prior.
[02:41] ---
    Hm? What is it, Yamashita?
[02:42] ---
    Even if those panties ARE fit for consumption,
    I don't believe he would eat them.
[02:47] ---
    Yes! You are correct, Yamashita!
[02:49] ---
    The greatest hurdle to this plan is the
    pre-established notion
[02:51] ---
    that panties are NOT for eating.
[02:53] ---
    This the culmination of both knowledge and logic,
    which poses quite a problem.
[02:57] ---
    However!
[02:58] ---
    I have already arrived at
    the answer to said problem!
[03:02] ---
    Listen up, Yamashita, and look closely.
[03:04] ---
    Just a little bit of massaging, and...
[03:08] ---
    What's this? Could it be
    a new form of macaron?!
[03:10] ---
    They're just scrunched-up panties.
[03:12] ---
    Therein lies the final element: camouflage!
[03:16] ---
    That doesn't look camouflaged at all...
[03:18] ---
    Hunger
[03:18] ---
    Hunger!
[03:19] ---
    Change!
[03:19] ---
    Change
[03:20] ---
    Camouflage!
[03:20] ---
    Camouflage
[03:21] ---
    These three elements combine
    to form the Trinity Delta Field!
SIGN    Camouflage Hunger Change
[03:25] ---
    Upon noticing that he's sated
    his hunger with women's panties,
[03:28] ---
    will Tanaka be able to
    keep his wits about him?!
[03:41] ---
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[03:42] ---
    You ARE late, Tanaka, you jackass!
[03:45] ---
    Thanks to you, my body and
    spirit AND the object in
[03:48] ---
    question have all completely cooled!
[03:50] ---
    What does that mean?
[03:51] ---
    I got into a fight with the lunch lady
    and ended up having a class meeting.
[03:54] ---
    It turns out I actually
    WAS being given less food.
[03:58] ---
    Oh. Y-you don't say...
[04:00] ---
    Well, why don't you eat this and rest a bit?
[04:03] ---
    Thanks, I appreciate it.
[04:09] ---
    This guy just ate panties
    without even blinking!
[04:18] ---
    He ate it... He ate it!
    And with such an unexpected expression!
[04:20] ---
    That was delicious.
    I do like those kinds of semi-soft sweets.
[04:25] ---
    O-oh? Hmm...
[04:28] ---
    That really was good.
     Do you have any more?
[04:31] ---
    A second serving of panties!
[04:33] ---
    Another one? Well, I'm not sure.
[04:37] ---
    I actually don't recall.
    They were a limited release, after all...
[04:42] ---
    No, knowing her, I bet she does.
[04:46] ---
    There'll be the panties she makes him eat,
[04:48] ---
    and another pair she'll
    use to prove her point.
[04:51] ---
    I'm guessing... THERE.
[04:55] ---
    Still, going by her reaction,
    it seems she didn't expect him to actually eat it.
[05:00] ---
    But, Ma'am! So far everything...
    Everything has gone to plan!
[05:06] ---
    The rest is up to how committed you are.
[05:10] ---
    Huh?
[05:11] ---
    Uh, come to think of it...
[05:16] ---
    Yes! That's it, Ma'am!
[05:18] ---
    I think that somewhere around here...
[05:21] ---
    Please show Tanaka-sempai what's what!
[05:25] ---
    There was one more...
[05:28] ---
    Tell him! "What you just
    ate... were my panties!"
[05:37] ---
    Too bad, sorry! Looks like I'm all out today.
[05:43] ---
    Oh, jeez.
[05:44] ---
    Lame, lame, lame, lame...
[05:44] ---
    Lame, lame, lame...
[05:46] ---
    AN INTRODUCTION TO
    SIDE-TO-SIDE JUMPING
[05:54] ---
    SCIENCE
[05:55] ---
    SCIENCE
    Experiment No. 14
    The Gatcha-Porter
[05:58] ---
    Experiment No. 14
    The Gatcha-Porter
[05:58] ---
    Huh? I'm the first one here today?
[06:04] ---
    Oh. One of those capsule machine things.
[06:15] ---
    Go on and turn it already!
[06:17] ---
    Give it a good turn, and
    then remember THAT time!
[06:21] ---
    What time would that be?
[06:23] ---
    You made this, right? If I touch it,
    I'm sure you'll just get mad at me.
[06:29] ---
    Hmph! It would seem
    you've gotten a sense of it already...
[06:32] ---
    the unequalled DRIVE behind
    this future-ish capsule machine!
[06:36] ---
    The Gatcha-Porter!
[06:38] ---
    It deploys a quantum
    vacuum force field beyond the device itself,
[06:41] ---
    through which it absorbs
    the object in question on a quantum level,
[06:45] ---
    enabling quasi high-speed physical transfer!
[06:49] ---
    When this is activated, it can
    instantaneously back-order anything at all!
[06:54] ---
    I don't quite understand how this works.
    What exactly gets sent to you?
[07:00] ---
    That is where its true value comes in!
[07:02] ---
    AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SOFTENING WATER
[07:02] ---
    Whoever touches the dial on this device
    will have his brainwaves scanned,
[07:06] ---
    and anything desired shall
    be instantly teleported!
[07:13] ---
    It's like some kind of dream machine!
[07:14] ---
    It IS a dream machine.
[07:17] ---
    Take hold of it, Tanaka!
    Try giving it a spin!
[07:20] ---
    Okay!
[07:22] ---
    Before you turn that, visualize
    what it is you want.
[07:27] ---
    Victory is mine!
[07:28] ---
    The Gatcha-Porter contains
    no brainwave receiver at all!
[07:32] ---
    Instead, the matter that it
    teleports has been pre-programmed.
[07:35] ---
    Put simply, what will now appear
    has pre-assigned by ME!
[07:39] ---
    Once the dial has been turned,
    there can be no going back!
[07:42] ---
    He shall go through life
    believing that he is perverted scum
[07:46] ---
    whose desire is that my
    garments are easily removed!
SIGN    MARRIED Hoping to work together to build a happy family.
[07:51] ---
    Something came out!
[07:53] ---
    Huh? It looks like a
    handkerchief or something.
[07:55] ---
    Open it and see!
[08:01] ---
    Wait, that pattern looks different...
[08:05] ---
    And mine are still on.
[08:29] ---
    No, no! This is all wrong!
[08:30] ---
    I was thinking of something
    completely different!
[08:33] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[08:34] ---
    Are you sure that wasn't
    what you were thinking of?!
[08:36] ---
    I'm telling you, no, it wasn't!
[08:38] ---
    Ma'am, please, you have to fix this.
[08:41] ---
    Well, I can't see into your head, can I?
[08:45] ---
    Still, this is strange.
    Some kind of programming error maybe?
[08:50] ---
    Fine. Try it one more time.
[08:53] ---
    But no excuses: you'll have to
    prove what it is you're thinking.
[08:56] ---
    Huh? Is this thing really okay?
[09:03] ---
    Ma'am, some strange black thing came out.
[09:10] ---
    Ma'am! Water came out of
    it! Water! What is this?
[09:14] ---
    How should I know?
    Just what on Earth are you calling forth?!
[09:18] ---
    Well, I'm going to open it.
[09:20] ---
    SCIENCE
[09:26] ---
    Ah! I knew it would be here!
[09:28] ---
    What the heck? My swimsuit
    just suddenly disappeared!
[09:32] ---
    Um, Kitanaga-sempai, this is...
[09:35] ---
    We're testing a machine that will
    send you whatever you think of,
[09:38] ---
    but it looks like it's
    malfunctioning. Right, Ma'am?
[09:43] ---
    Fine, just hurry up and give me that back.
[09:47] ---
    I'm sorry.
[09:48] ---
    I swear! You area a pervert... aren't you?
[09:56] ---
    Jeez, Ma'am! Why don't you say anything?!
[10:00] ---
    Now, this another a weird misunderstanding.
    Please explain what's going on.
[10:05] ---
    Shut up! Shut your yap and just
    do the machine, you legume!
[10:08] ---
    No, I don't want to touch that thing again.
[10:11] ---
    Do it!

Season 1

E8 - Coittsu Nate Luna D - Pero-Lilion

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 15
    Coitsu Nate Luna D
[00:05] ---
    S-so sleepy...
[00:20] ---
    "Are you all right, Ma'am?"
[00:21] ---
    You should be askin'!
[00:23] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[00:35] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:41] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:47] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:50] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:54] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:58] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:59] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:05] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:10] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:12] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[01:17] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:23] ---
    LAB
[01:23] ---
    "Were you up late last night?"
[01:25] ---
    You should be askin'!
[01:26] ---
    "So then, that means...?"
[01:28] ---
    You should be askin'!
[01:29] ---
    I'm not sure what to make
    of that last part there...
[01:31] ---
    But, Ma'am, if you're that tired,
    shouldn't you just go home?
[01:34] ---
    No!
[01:35] ---
    I don't wanna go home today!
[01:38] ---
    You don't say...
[01:40] ---
    "And why don't you want to go home?"
[01:42] ---
    You should be askin'!
[01:43] ---
    It's as if the words bounce right off you!
[01:46] ---
    You're like the egg crate
    soundproofing foam that's on the
[01:48] ---
    walls in the music room!
[01:50] ---
    Ma'am, you don't seem
    sleepy at all right now...
[01:54] ---
    Listen up, Tanaka: There are times when,
    though sleep beckons,
[01:56] ---
    the only choice is to persevere!
[01:58] ---
    And it is such cases...
[02:02] ---
    that THIS item is of use!
[02:06] ---
    Coitsu Nate Luna D!
[02:08] ---
    It contains the next-generation
    ingredient Siestorin,
[02:10] ---
    which dispels fatigue by
    providing the equivalent
[02:12] ---
    of 10 hours' worth of uninterrupted sleep.
[02:15] ---
    This, combined with the effects of the
    ingredient henjinate, creates a "sub-personality"
[02:19] ---
    that allows for thought processes
    distinct from the conscious self.
[02:23] ---
    In other words, these pills allow one to engage
    in rational dialogue even when asleep!
[02:30] ---
    Now take one!
[02:31] ---
    Uh, no, I'm not really sleepy.
[02:34] ---
    You should try this one out yourself, Ma'am.
[02:36] ---
    What's this, Tanaka-kun?
    Could it be that you haven't noticed?
[02:40] ---
    Today, when I came back to the classroom...
[02:41] ---
    Till just a little while ago,
    Yamashita and I were COMPLETELY asleep!
[02:41] ---
    Today, when I came back to the classroom...
[02:43] ---
    YEAH, YEAH.
[02:44] ---
    YEAH, YEAH.
    ASLEEP
[02:45] ---
    As of now, Yamashita
    remains in a deep slumber!
[02:48] ---
    Huh? But she's reading a book and...
SIGN    SUPREME ENLIGHTENMENT An Introduction to the Items of Buddhist Ritual NAMU
[02:50] ---
    Ah! If you look closely,
    she's actually sleeping!
[02:55] ---
    Go on, say something to Yamashita's
    well-formed sub-personality!
[02:59] ---
    Okay.
[03:01] ---
    Yamashita-san? Are you awake?
[03:04] ---
    Direct all questions to my lawyer.
[03:06] ---
    That's one aggressive personality...
[03:09] ---
    Are you awake, Yamashita-san?
[03:11] ---
    I had a dream I was being sexually harassed.
[03:13] ---
    I'm sorry, Yamashita,
    but Tanaka WAS sexually harassing you just now.
[03:17] ---
    Please stop spreading lies.
[03:19] ---
    Main
[03:20] ---
    So, as you can see, conversation is possible
    
[03:21] ---
    Main
    Sub
[03:22] ---
    without a direct link to
    the sleeping consciousness.
[03:24] ---
    It seems sort of like sleepwalking.
[03:27] ---
    And now it is YOUR turn, Tanaka.
    One can never have too much data!
[03:31] ---
    When you take this, you
    will enter a deep sleep.
[03:34] ---
    I have a bad feeling.
[03:40] ---
    Oh, no! I really am getting sleep...
[03:47] ---
    Tanaka, are you asleep?
[03:48] ---
    I am.
[03:54] ---
    Are you REALLY asleep?
[03:57] ---
    I am asleep.
[03:58] ---
    I don't know...
[04:01] ---
    What finger is this?
[04:04] ---
    Your left pinky.
[04:06] ---
    Oh, yeah? And what's your favorite food?
[04:10] ---
    I like the outer skin of daifuku rice cakes.
[04:13] ---
    Which do you prefer, long hair or short?
[04:17] ---
    I like long hair.
[04:19] ---
    Ooh, really?
[04:21] ---
    Ma'am.
[04:22] ---
    O-oh, yeah.
[04:25] ---
    Now then, to get right to the point...
[04:27] ---
    Hey, Tanaka.
[04:30] ---
    The thing is...
[04:33] ---
    Tanaka, would you say your
    feelings for me are-?
[04:39] ---
    Ma'am, how did I do?
[04:47] ---
    Staaaare
[04:54] ---
    Ma'am, I'm awake. Like, completely awake.
[05:02] ---
    Ma'am?
[05:05] ---
    I'm so... asleep!
[05:06] ---
    Ma'am? W-wait! Ma'am!
[05:12] ---
    Are you going home already? It's quite early.
[05:16] ---
    Yes, go back, hngrh...
[05:18] ---
    SCIENCE
[05:22] ---
    Please be careful.
[05:26] ---
    I wonder if she'll be all right...
[05:30] ---
    The trial regarding this
    sexual harassment case shall now begin!
[05:33] ---
    Please don't be fooled by this.
[05:35] ---
    I sentence the gutter trash
    of a defendant named "Tanaka" to death!
[05:38] ---
    Objection.
[05:45] ---
    SCIENCE
[05:46] ---
    SCIENCE
    Experiment No. 16
    Pero-Lilion
[05:48] ---
    Experiment No. 16
    Pero-Lilion
[05:55] ---
    You're late, Tanaka!
[06:00] ---
    Is my brother here?
[06:02] ---
    They're not going to know
    who "my brother" is.
[06:05] ---
    Oh, yeah.
[06:06] ---
    Is a 2nd-year named "Tanaka" here?!
[06:08] ---
    Watch your tone!
[06:10] ---
    No, Tanaka the 2nd-year hasn't shown up yet.
[06:12] ---
    See? I told you we should
    ask the teachers first.
[06:15] ---
    I'M the one who said that.
[06:17] ---
    Ah, Yamashita-san!
    You're in the same study club as well?
[06:23] ---
    Is she in your class?
[06:24] ---
    That's right. Wait, don't
    you know who that is?
[06:27] ---
    She's Tanaka-sempai's younger sister.
[06:32] ---
    Well, the thing is-
[06:33] ---
    Wait, Yamashita-san!
[06:35] ---
    It would seem some
    introductions are in order.
[06:38] ---
    I'm Mizuna Tanaka from
    Class 1-2. My favorite food
[06:41] ---
    is the fillings of
    traditional Japanese candy.
[06:44] ---
    I'm Yomogi Tanaka from Class 1-6.
    My favorite flavor is chocolate mint!
[06:49] ---
    I'm the older twin sister...
[06:51] ---
    And I'm the younger!
[06:54] ---
    Wait, twins?!
[06:55] ---
    Yamashita-san, is this the
    first time to hear we're twins?
[06:58] ---
    Well, we're not a lot alike.
[07:00] ---
    Do you mind if we wait here
    till our brother shows up?
[07:04] ---
    Feel free.
[07:07] ---
    Strange... How could I
    have not known about this?
[07:10] ---
    Still, in the past, I have spotted multiple
    Tanaka heads poking out from the crowd.
[07:14] ---
    I thought I was hallucinating,
    but looking back, I guess it was these two.
[07:18] ---
    And yet, what does it mean that
    Tanaka hasn't mentioned them even once?!
[07:25] ---
    Staaare.
[07:30] ---
    You want one?
[07:31] ---
    Yaay!
[07:34] ---
    This candy is SO delicious!
[07:38] ---
    Me too! I want one!
[07:41] ---
    Wow, you're right! It's choco-mint!
[07:44] ---
    Huh? It tastes like soy flour, right?
[07:46] ---
    What are you talking about, Mizuna-chan?
    There's not a trace of soy flour in this!
[07:49] ---
    Yeah, well, I'm not seeing
    any signs of choco-mint either!
[07:54] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[07:55] ---
    Ah! Brother!
[07:58] ---
    Hey, Big Brother, look!
    What flavor do you think this candy is?
[08:01] ---
    Personally, I think it
    tastes like rice flour.
[08:03] ---
    What are you doing here?
    And did you bring that candy to school?
[08:08] ---
    No, your club president gave it to us!
[08:10] ---
    Oh, really? It's all right if they have this?
[08:14] ---
    S-sure, yeah.
[08:16] ---
    It looks like something that she's made...
[08:20] ---
    You two, give that back right now.
[08:23] ---
    Come on, Big Brother, just listen!
[08:25] ---
    This has a robust flavor, but then
    the sweetness of the soybeans really packs a punch,
[08:30] ---
    resulting in the ideal flavor profile!
[08:33] ---
    The slight bitterness of
    the chocolate enveloped
[08:35] ---
    in sweet mint makes for
    a brisk taste sensation!
[08:37] ---
    This is the picture of choco-mint!
[08:39] ---
    What about this is choco-mint?!
    Every single one of your taste buds is wrecked!
[08:44] ---
    If THIS tastes like soy flour,
    you must think sand tastes pretty sweet!
[08:49] ---
    Brother!
[08:50] ---
    Tell us once and for all what flavor this is!
[08:52] ---
    Hey!
[08:54] ---
    Cut that out.
[08:55] ---
    Come on! Come on!
[08:57] ---
    Stop it!
[09:03] ---
    Don't put things in your mouth and
    then try giving them to other people!
[09:06] ---
    SHOCK
[09:06] ---
    It's not like we're strangers...
[09:07] ---
    And don't go splitting hairs!
[09:09] ---
    You need to stop always acting like children.
[09:12] ---
    This is why I don't introduce
    you to other people.
[09:15] ---
    You haven't even shown your respects
    to the club captain, have you?
[09:17] ---
    Mizuna-chan...
[09:18] ---
    No, we haven't.
[09:20] ---
    Having you two around here
    has embarrassed me to no end.
[09:24] ---
    Hey! You'll make Yomogi-chan cry!
[09:27] ---
    I'm the one who wants to cry!
[09:28] ---
    You two, line up.
    You're going to apologize to the club captain.
[09:32] ---
    I'm very sorry, Ma'am.
[09:35] ---
    We're sorry.
[09:36] ---
    No, no, really, it's fine.
[09:38] ---
    Look, I have another candy
    here. There's one more.
[09:40] ---
    Ma'am, I have a favor I'd like to ask.
[09:44] ---
    Could you please explain
    how the candy works to these two?
[09:48] ---
    If you do that, the way you always do,
[09:51] ---
    I think they'll understand
    just what they've done.
[09:55] ---
    O-oh, yeah...
[09:57] ---
    Please.
[09:58] ---
    Please!
[09:59] ---
    Still, I mean, you know...
[10:01] ---
    I feel like the weather's turning bad.
[10:04] ---
    I think maybe we should just
    call it quits for today.
[10:08] ---
    There, you see?! You're the
    ones responsible for this!
[10:11] ---
    You need to own up to what you've done!
[10:13] ---
    Stop casually smacking us on the head!
    We're not bongos, you know!
[10:16] ---
    We're members of the Tanaka family,
    not percussion instruments!
[10:19] ---
    The Pero-Lilion uses the newly discovered,
    next-century sweetener lolilion
[10:23] ---
    to create a candy that has
    no direct effect upon the body.
[10:26] ---
    Instead, it induces a hallucinatory sense
    of whatever the taster regards as "sweet."

Season 1

E9 - Jigatights - SQ-Water

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 17
    Jigatights
[00:05] ---
    Ah! My battery's out again.
[00:08] ---
    Yamashita-san, do you
    have a cord I can borrow?
[00:10] ---
    Senpai, that's sexual
    harassment. I will report you.
[00:14] ---
    I don't think think counts as harassment.
    Please don't report me.
[00:17] ---
    Hey, Tanaka! You can charge
    your phone with THIS!
[00:19] ---
    That's a big help, thank you.
[00:21] ---
    Where is it?
[00:22] ---
    Here. Right here...
[00:25] ---
    Behold, it is here!
[00:28] ---
    You see this, Yamashita-san?
    THAT is sexual harassment.
[00:31] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[00:43] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:49] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:55] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:58] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[01:02] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[01:06] ---
    A premonition of love
[01:07] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:13] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:18] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:20] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet
[01:25] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:31] ---
    What's this?
[01:32] ---
    It seems wretched bastard that you are,
    Tanaka - you were anticipating something.
[01:35] ---
    Unfortunately, what you were
    imagining shall not be found here.
[01:40] ---
    Hidden beneath this dress
    is today's must-have item...
[01:46] ---
    To wit, THIS!
[01:49] ---
    Hey! At least one of you could look this way!
[01:51] ---
    It's not as if this slightly
    mysterious young girl is researching yoga
[01:54] ---
    and just whispering to herself!
[01:56] ---
    Science Club members, line up! Trot this way!
[01:59] ---
    Team, fix your gaze upon my lower body!
[02:02] ---
    At first glance, these may appear
    to be perfectly ordinary tights,
[02:04] ---
    but in fact, they are made
    of a heretofore unknown material,
[02:07] ---
    a blend of high-density nanowire
    and ultra-inductive polymer!
[02:10] ---
    Hey! Let those peepers get an eyeful already!
[02:14] ---
    Yes, I'm paying attention...
[02:15] ---
    Then listen up! In a nutshell,
[02:17] ---
    HEAT GENERATION
    EVAPORATION
[02:18] ---
    these tights can take
    all the energy we expend
[02:19] ---
    PERSPIRATION
    CHAFING
[02:20] ---
    DRYING
    ELASTICITY
[02:20] ---
    during our everyday lives
    and turn that into ENERGY!
[02:21] ---
    RANGE OF MOTION
[02:24] ---
    Its ability to generate
    power is unparalleled,
[02:26] ---
    providing the equivalent of
    a full marathon run at 1.21 jigawatts!
[02:30] ---
    It's nothing short of a revolution,
    with energy being generated at the crotch level!
[02:35] ---
    It is ultra high-power output
    clothing: the Jigatights!
[02:37] ---
    Huh...
[02:39] ---
    Okay, so, please try charging something.
[02:43] ---
    Fine. Watch and learn. First,
    I'll take a smartphone cord...
[02:47] ---
    Is this the one?
[02:49] ---
    What are you doing with that?
[02:52] ---
    Very well! We shall begin charging.
[02:54] ---
    Wow, I'm starting to get kind of excited!
[02:58] ---
    ...Um, what's the matter?
[02:59] ---
    You have to rub or something
    to start the charging process.
[03:02] ---
    Huh? Just move around there where you are.
[03:06] ---
    Why should I have to be
    the one to move around?!
[03:09] ---
    It's YOUR cellphone,
    so use your own energy to charge it!
[03:13] ---
    There.
[03:15] ---
    Fine, then I'll wear those tights to
    generate energy. Please take them off.
[03:19] ---
    I-I swear, you don't think twice
    about crossing certain types of lines, do you?!
[03:23] ---
    For you to say that, this
    must be part of some scheme,
[03:26] ---
    a plot to take my tights and generate some
    SPECIAL sort of energy, right? You pervert!
[03:31] ---
    What's with that face?!
[03:32] ---
    Um, what is this all about?
[03:34] ---
    Enough already! Just hurry up and stroke me!
[03:37] ---
    Yeah, yeah. Please sit over
    here to make it easier for me.
[03:40] ---
    Why are you acting like
    this is such a chore?!
[03:46] ---
    Okay, here goes.
[03:56] ---
    Oh!
[03:57] ---
    Ma'am, when I rub you, it
    really does start recharging!
[04:01] ---
    P-p-pretty great, huh?!
[04:03] ---
    This sure is useful.
[04:07] ---
    You've fallen right into my trap.
[04:09] ---
    Tanaka, you are a child
    of the present, prone to
[04:11] ---
    fiddling
    with your cellphone when you have free time!
[04:13] ---
    As such, after prolonged use,
    your battery is already suffering from wear.
[04:17] ---
    You are required to charge your
    phone several times a day.
[04:19] ---
    However! This is a school, and smartphone
    usage is prohibited per school regulations.
[04:24] ---
    The places at which you can
    recharge it are limited!
[04:27] ---
    But bear ye now witness to
    the advent of the Forbidden Charging Spot!
[04:32] ---
    Tanaka will come in search of I, Ueno the Girl Who Can
    Charge on Campus with Impunity and then
[04:40] ---
    through repetition, will come to associate me
    with his craving for all things cellphone related,
[04:44] ---
    such that before long, all his
    thoughts shall turn to ME!
[04:49] ---
    Ma'am, this is...
[04:51] ---
    It takes a while to recharge, doesn't it?
[04:53] ---
    Y-you just aren't being forceful enough.
[04:58] ---
    Oh. That makes sense.
[05:03] ---
    H-h-hey, hold on! Wait,
    wait, wait, wait, WAIT!
[05:10] ---
    Ooh! Look, Ma'am: It's totally different now.
[05:14] ---
    Go on, look. Take a look down there.
[05:17] ---
    Wow... It's really juicing
    up, much more than before.
[05:21] ---
    One last spurt and you'll get your fill!
[05:26] ---
    Where do you get off stroking the thighs
    of a VIRGINAL young girl, you sick pervert?!
[05:31] ---
    You're the one that
    instigated the stroking...
[05:33] ---
    Dammit!
[05:36] ---
    Ow...
[05:38] ---
    Come on, Ma'am.
[05:40] ---
    Oh.
[05:42] ---
    Looks like it's done charging.
[05:44] ---
    I swear, you get full of
    yourself and then just...
[05:47] ---
    Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub.
[05:50] ---
    You STILL want to stroke me?!
[05:53] ---
    Ma'am, please give me my cellphone back.
[06:02] ---
    LAB
[06:03] ---
    LAB
    Experiment No. 18
    SQ-Water
[06:04] ---
    Oh my...
[06:05] ---
    Experiment No. 18
    SQ-Water
[06:06] ---
    I forgot to wear THAT underneath.
[06:08] ---
    Sumo a la Word Chain
[06:09] ---
    I've been so busy since noon.
[06:12] ---
    Well, fine. I can put some on pretty quick...
[06:16] ---
    SCIENCE
[06:16] ---
    There we go. First, I've gotta
    pull this all the way down...
[06:22] ---
    Hold it right there!
[06:25] ---
    Why the hell are you tryin'
    to leave without even saying anything?!
[06:28] ---
    Well, you made it sound like you
    were going to change your clothes, so...
[06:32] ---
    So what, Tanaka?
[06:34] ---
    A girl indicates she's going to
    disrobe, and you choose to simply leave your seat?!
[06:38] ---
    I guess...
[06:39] ---
    Aaand there you go, second-guessing
    your earlier "gentlemanly" behavior.
[06:45] ---
    Just what on Earth is it that you want, hm?!
[06:47] ---
    Even perverts know when to
    draw the line, you know!
[06:49] ---
    LAB
[06:49] ---
    There's no way I could change in front of a
    horrible man-beast like you! Get the hell out!
[06:53] ---
    The way you criticize people makes NO sense.
[06:55] ---
    Yamashita, spread the purifying salt!
[06:58] ---
    Shake, shake. Shake.
[06:59] ---
    Let me know when you're done changing, okay?
[07:03] ---
    All done!
[07:07] ---
    Maybe, size-wise, it's a LITTLE small...
[07:11] ---
    Are you going to the pool or something?
[07:13] ---
    Oh, my. It would seem the
    young man is somewhat mistaken...
[07:16] ---
    This is in fact today's
    special item, the SQ-Water!
[07:21] ---
    Space Quantum! Imaginary Underwater Clothing!
[07:24] ---
    It interprets fluctuation rates in
    spatial quantum density as waves,
[07:27] ---
    with water molecules expelled from
    the device acting as a catch mechanism
[07:30] ---
    that allows one to ride the resulting,
    non-existential waves!
[07:34] ---
    Put simply, when this device absorbs water...
[07:47] ---
    Ma'am! You're floating!
[07:50] ---
    Yes. I am indeed floating.
[07:53] ---
    This garment is one giant leap toward
    breaking free of our land-based constraints
[07:58] ---
    and embracing the new world of the heavens!
[08:01] ---
    Stroke! Stroke, stroke!
[08:03] ---
    Wow! That looks like a lot of fun.
    Stroke! Stroke, stroke!
[08:07] ---
    Chortle! How naive you are!
[08:10] ---
    This half-clothed, aquatic-like state
    allows me to be observed in ALL directions,
[08:16] ---
    which no doubt fills you with trepidation!
[08:20] ---
    Let this be burned onto your retinas:
[08:22] ---
    A heavenly angel that can
    be seen but cannot be touched...
[08:26] ---
    Like unto a shaft of light, granted to
    illuminate the plight of the most pitiable of swine!
[08:34] ---
    So, if you use that, you
    can fly in the air, right?
[08:37] ---
    OINK!
[08:39] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
[08:39] ---
    M-my apologies for letting
    your imagination run wild.
[08:42] ---
    By nature, in order for this device to process
    the maximum amount of quantum flow,
[08:45] ---
    its use is relegated to confined
    spaces such as these.
[08:49] ---
    Oh, really?
[08:51] ---
    For example, should the door
    to this classroom suddenly
[08:55] ---
    be opened, the quantum flow
    would go outward and-
[08:59] ---
    Brother! You said you'd lend me
    your Thermos after class today!
[09:30] ---
    Ma'am!
[09:32] ---
    Mizuna! Close the door, now!
[09:35] ---
    What about the Thermos?!
[09:46] ---
    Just hurry up and close it!
[09:57] ---
    Sneak, sneak, sneak...
[10:02] ---
    Oh.
[10:04] ---
    Wow, that talk about a shock!
    This is what happens, huh?
[10:07] ---
    How long are you...
[10:10] ---
    gonna keep groping young
    girls in sexy poses?!
[10:13] ---
    You puckered anus!
[10:16] ---
    Grumble, grumble! I swear...
[10:20] ---
    She asked for help, but THIS is how she acts?
[10:23] ---
    Also, I wonder what Mizuna wanted...
[10:27] ---
    I'd say that calls for a family meeting.

Season 1

E10 - Kanchikan - Repara-te

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
[00:02] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
    Experiment No. 19
    Kanchikan
[00:04] ---
    Why does my class's homeroom always so long?
[00:06] ---
    Experiment No. 19
    Kanchikan
[00:09] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[00:11] ---
    Please don't rush onto the train.
[00:16] ---
    My apologies.
[00:17] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[00:30] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:36] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:42] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:45] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:49] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:53] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:54] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:00] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:05] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:07] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[01:12] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:21] ---
    ...pe me.
[01:22] ---
    Huh?
[01:23] ---
    I said, "Grope me!"
[01:24] ---
    Is she a pervert or something...?
[01:26] ---
    Ma'am, what are you doing?
[01:28] ---
    Hey! Don't go getting the wrong idea, Tanaka!
[01:30] ---
    LOCAL LINE
[01:30] ---
    This mock-up train requires
    no additional fees, nor is it a free trial venue.
[01:31] ---
    SEMI EXPRESS
[01:32] ---
    SPECIAL RAPID SERVICE
[01:33] ---
    RAPID SERVICE
[01:34] ---
    LIMITED EXPRESS
[01:35] ---
    Instead, it is a proof-of-concept for...
[01:38] ---
    a NEW type of molestation alert system!
[01:41] ---
    The Kanchikan.
[01:42] ---
    This ornamental device forms
    an ethereal bond with the mysterious spirit Kanchichi.
[01:44] ---
    The Spirit Kanchichi
[01:47] ---
    When notice of lewd behavior is received, a Spirit
    Meeting is held and
[01:47] ---
    Spirit Meeting
[01:50] ---
    should judgment be handed down,
SIGN    Spirit Meeting Out Safe Safe Safe Safe Out
[01:52] ---
    an alert is sent to the
    humans in the vicinity.
[01:53] ---
    ANNIHILATION
[01:55] ---
    Available in four colors!
[01:57] ---
    Now do it, Tanaka! Show me the groping
    techniques you've so expertly refined!
[02:01] ---
    Um, I've never done that before...
[02:03] ---
    I don't really understand
    what would make a person do it.
[02:06] ---
    Now look here, Tanaka:
    I'm not asking you to weigh in on the morality of it!
[02:11] ---
    Just consider that when
    complete, this device will be
[02:13] ---
    a savior to all those who
    have suffered groping!
[02:17] ---
    I understand. Okay, I'll be the pervert.
[02:31] ---
    Ma'am, that thing's really going off...
[02:34] ---
    Yes, well, this is how it reacts
    when in the presence of a groper.
[02:39] ---
    So, is the experiment over?
[02:40] ---
    Hey! It hasn't even started yet!
[02:43] ---
    Just wait here. I'll be back soon.
[02:52] ---
    Ma'am...
[02:53] ---
    Pipe down!
[03:10] ---
    Time out!
[03:11] ---
    WAIT!!
[03:13] ---
    Caw! Caw! Caw-razy!
[03:17] ---
    Ma'am...
[03:18] ---
    Yes?
[03:19] ---
    The plan as it was explained before was...
[03:22] ---
    because the device won't
    react to light contact,
[03:25] ---
    that would force a gradual
    escalation of conduct,
[03:27] ---
    leading to the possibility
    that a line will be crossed.
[03:27] ---
    Restricted
[03:30] ---
    That's how the explanation went, I believe.
[03:33] ---
    Ma'am, are you listening?
[03:35] ---
    Yes, sorry. I'm listening.
    You're asking, like, "Why?" and stuff.
[03:40] ---
    Shall we stop it?
[03:42] ---
    Huh?
[03:43] ---
    The device. Shall we turn it off?
[03:49] ---
    I just... I can't seem to cross that line!
[03:54] ---
    Then you'll have to do your best.
[03:57] ---
    Do you understand, Ma'am?
    I'd like to confirm one more time...
[04:01] ---
    The plan is that, the more restraint you have,
    
[04:03] ---
    the more extreme the
    behavior will become, yes?
[04:06] ---
    You don't have to tell me that AGAIN!
[04:09] ---
    Day duty
[04:12] ---
    Tanaka. Sorry to keep you waiting...
[04:14] ---
    Do you know what happened?
[04:19] ---
    Ma'am, are you okay? You
    seem sort of out of it.
[04:23] ---
    I feel like I'm catching a cold.
    I guess the device malfunctioned...
[04:28] ---
    If you feel so bad that it malfunctions,
    then it's not much use.
[04:31] ---
    We're not done yet...
[04:33] ---
    Is she all right?
[04:35] ---
    Yes! That's the spirit.
[04:37] ---
    She has the eyes of a rotting fish...
[04:40] ---
    Just keep yourself in check until
    you've reached the promised land!
[04:44] ---
    Hurry up and do it, Tanaka.
[04:47] ---
    Yes, yes.
[04:48] ---
    Okay, Ma'am. Here goes.
[04:57] ---
    Limited Express
[04:57] ---
    Commuter Semi Special Express
[05:03] ---
    Ma'am, why don't we stop here for today?
[05:10] ---
    I... I hate them! I hate these
    hands that refuse to cooperate!
[05:16] ---
    Ma'am, let's get your body
    nice and rested first.
[05:22] ---
    After all, nothing's more
    important than your health.
[05:35] ---
    Experiment No. 20
    Repara-te
[05:37] ---
    Huh?
[05:41] ---
    Is this a burn mark?
[05:44] ---
    This desk sure is beat up, huh?
[05:47] ---
    That beat-up thing will become...
[05:49] ---
    As good as new!
[05:53] ---
    The Repara-te.
[05:55] ---
    The device scans what it touches and then
    uses nano-particles to grind down the surface.
[05:59] ---
    Once the impurities are removed,
    the resulting shavings are used on a nano level
[06:03] ---
    to repair and reconstruct.
[06:05] ---
    By restoring the missing particles,
    the surface takes on a uniform appearance.
[06:10] ---
    In other words, swipe it like this and...
[06:13] ---
    Whoa! It's bright and sparkly.
[06:14] ---
    This part here looks brand new!
[06:17] ---
    It grinds down the surface AND repairs it at
    the same time. That's easy to understand, yes?
[06:21] ---
    However, that is only its
    secondary application.
[06:25] ---
    It's primary use is...
[06:27] ---
    to remove unwanted body hair!
[06:29] ---
    A simple stroke of these gloves
    will eliminate unwanted hair in an instant!
[06:34] ---
    It simultaneously provides skin care,
    leaving it silky smooth!
[06:37] ---
    Whoa...
[06:39] ---
    Well, Tanaka? Curious to
    try out a little rubbing?
[06:42] ---
    Yes, definitely!
[06:44] ---
    I wonder if legs would
    give the best result...
[06:48] ---
    My, how brazen you are today!
[06:50] ---
    Just what technique will you use with the
    aim of making these legs be called "shapely"?
[06:59] ---
    Not YOUR legs! You can get
    rid of that shin hair however you like!
[07:03] ---
    Are you after the milky-white
    skin of a fair maiden?!
[07:06] ---
    Oh. Is that what you meant?
[07:09] ---
    All right, well... Let's do this.
[07:13] ---
    Huh? Ma'am...
[07:16] ---
    Do you even grow leg hair?
[07:27] ---
    Not good. This man is...
[07:29] ---
    He's the type that thinks
    girls don't grow leg hair.
[07:33] ---
    This has gone past the intended purpose,
[07:35] ---
    arriving at an unexpected state where
    mysterious and PRIVATE areas are revealed.
[07:39] ---
    At this rate, her spirit is likely to...!
[07:42] ---
    Actually, Tanaka-senpai, girls
    generally do grow leg hair.
[07:47] ---
    Huh? Really?!
[07:50] ---
    But girls' legs are always smooth,
    so I thought that's just how it was.
[07:54] ---
    Because we trim it.
[07:56] ---
    Huh. I never knew.
[07:58] ---
    So, Yamashita-san, you do it too?
[08:01] ---
    Actually, I'm the type who
    doesn't grow much hair.
[08:05] ---
    Huh? Which is it?!
[08:06] ---
    This conversation is already contradictory!
[08:09] ---
    Girls normally DO grow hair.
    I'm probably a bit unusual.
[08:14] ---
    Tanaka-senpai, you have two younger sisters,
    right? So, you should have a general idea.
[08:18] ---
    Mmm, I never paid much
    attention to their leg hair.
[08:22] ---
    I'm going to go ask them about it.
[08:24] ---
    Please ask about that once you're back home.
[08:27] ---
    But you're curious too, right?
    If I can't come up with an answer HERE, we'll regret it.
[08:33] ---
    I'll be back soon!
[08:37] ---
    Glance.
SIGN    Facing Sudden Out-of-body Experiences 14 Rules
[08:44] ---
    I asked them about it!
[08:46] ---
    According to them...
[08:48] ---
    Leg hair?! Mine is SUPER fine,
    so I don't do anything in particular.
[08:52] ---
    But would you mind not asking
    a question like that?!
[08:54] ---
    That sort of thing bugged
    me from a young age,
[08:57] ---
    so I borrowed some stuff from Mom
    and got them all silky-smooth!
[08:59] ---
    You really have no sense of delicacy, do you?
[09:03] ---
    That's what they said.
[09:05] ---
    They had different opinions...
    So, when you talk about "normal,"
[09:10] ---
    is it REALLY normal?
[09:12] ---
    Suddenly, I'm not so confident either.
[09:14] ---
    Still, Ma'am, you grow hair, don't you?
[09:17] ---
    Our club captain
    is currently napping and unable to respond.
[09:20] ---
    Right now, those who DON'T
    grow seem to be in the majority.
[09:25] ---
    Hmm.
[09:25] ---
    Hmm.
[09:27] ---
    Someone else I might be able to ask is...
[09:31] ---
    SCIENCE
[09:32] ---
    And so,
[09:34] ---
    I was hoping to ask your
    opinion, Kitanaga-senpai.
[09:38] ---
    Oh, I get it!
[09:41] ---
    Let's see...
[09:43] ---
    I'd have to conclude that...
[09:45] ---
    when it comes to leg hair, girls...
[09:49] ---
    tend to...
[09:50] ---
    grow it!
[09:53] ---
    Whoa...
[09:55] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[09:56] ---
    Well, of course!
[09:58] ---
    I'm in the Swimming Club,
    so I see a lot of female bodies,
[10:03] ---
    and naturally smooth legs are SUPER rare!
[10:07] ---
    This is the exception!
[10:09] ---
    So, I guess I was overthinking things.
    I'm glad the mystery's been sorted out!
[10:14] ---
    It's normal for girls to grow hair, huh?
[10:26] ---
    Right?

Season 1

E11 - Invisi-Bloomer - The Rear Skirt

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 21
    The Invisi-Bloomer
[00:03] ---
    Hey, Tanaka.
[00:05] ---
    Experiment No. 21
    The Invisi-Bloomer
[00:05] ---
    Lie down over there, yeah?
[00:08] ---
    What do you mean by, "There"?
[00:09] ---
    Just, wherever.
[00:11] ---
    What is this all about?
[00:14] ---
    Hm?
[00:15] ---
    Wait, hold on, time out!
[00:17] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[00:30] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:36] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:42] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:45] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:49] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:53] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:54] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[01:00] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:05] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:07] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[01:12] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:18] ---
    Oh my, Tanaka-kun! How lucky you
    are to see the panties of your club captain!
[01:23] ---
    Feel free to thank the gods,
    if you like, but unfortunately!
[01:26] ---
    These are, like, totally not panties!
[01:32] ---
    So, why did you try to sit on my face?
[01:35] ---
    Pay attention to what's right
    in front of you, you worm!
[01:37] ---
    Yes, it's the Invisi-Bloomer!
[01:40] ---
    These navy-blue "panties" utilize the
    air-compression ratio of the surrounding area
[01:42] ---
    Thank you very much.
[01:44] ---
    Please, have a seat.
[01:44] ---
    to create a barometric field
    in relation to the sitting posture of the wearer,
[01:48] ---
    making it possible to sit anywhere.
[01:51] ---
    You're not hired.
[01:51] ---
    NOT HIRED
[01:52] ---
    Okay, try this again.
    I'll show you how this works using front-row seats!
[01:57] ---
    I'm fine with just general admission.
[01:59] ---
    Okay, here goes!
[02:08] ---
    Well, Tanaka?!
[02:10] ---
    I'm fine for the moment...
[02:13] ---
    You're not just squatting and
    pretending to sit, right?
[02:16] ---
    Hey, do NOT underestimate me!
[02:19] ---
    Whoa! Ma'am, you're floating!
[02:21] ---
    I'm not floating: I'm merely
    sitting atop the air!
[02:24] ---
    That's sort of mysterious...
[02:26] ---
    I see right through you, worm! You pretend to
    not be interested, but you can't hide it, can you?
[02:33] ---
    Here, right before your eyes...
[02:36] ---
    is a utopia with waters you long to drink!
[02:39] ---
    The ribbon-shaped item
    on this device is an emergency stop switch
[02:44] ---
    that allows me to use my buttocks freely!
[02:48] ---
    With this, I will use my peach-colored
    waters to slake your thirst!
[02:58] ---
    Oh goodness, I'm sorry!
[03:03] ---
    Huh?
[03:04] ---
    Ma'am, are you okay?
[03:09] ---
    It seems the circuits weren't
    functioning properly. Let's try this again.
[03:12] ---
    Huh? I think it'd be best to
    take a look at it first...
[03:16] ---
    No, it's fine.
[03:19] ---
    Now, are you ready, Tanaka?
[03:20] ---
    Yeah...
[03:23] ---
    Then look, dammit, Tanaka! Look!
[03:25] ---
    Yes, I'm looking.
[03:27] ---
    And so! This is how it works
    as I float in the air...
[03:36] ---
    OH GOODNESS, I'M SORRY!
[03:40] ---
    Huh?
[03:41] ---
    Ma'am, are you okay?
[03:46] ---
    It seems the circuits weren't
    functioning properly. Let's try this again!
[03:50] ---
    Huh?
[03:52] ---
    I think it'd be best to
    take a look at it first...
[03:54] ---
    No, it's PERFECTLY fine!
[03:56] ---
    Now, are you ready, Tanaka?
[03:59] ---
    Yeah...
[04:00] ---
    Then look, dammit, Tanaka! Look!
[04:03] ---
    Yes, I'm looking.
[04:05] ---
    And so! This is how it works
    as I float in the air...
[04:11] ---
    Whee!
[04:12] ---
    Watch out!
[04:14] ---
    What the heck?!
[04:16] ---
    I'm not sure what to say to that...
[04:18] ---
    You don't believe in my
    device, so you keep moving!
[04:24] ---
    Now you're just being rash...
[04:26] ---
    How to Properly
    Dispose of Yetis
[04:26] ---
    Resume your position, Tanaka!
[04:28] ---
    Ma'am, let's just stop this already.
[04:31] ---
    Oh, I'm coming! You ready?!
    Look, I'm sitting in the air! Right here!
[04:36] ---
    And, go!
[04:39] ---
    NOW!
[04:47] ---
    Ma'am!
[04:48] ---
    ...Yes?
[04:49] ---
    Come on, that's enough.
    You're only making your butt hurt, right?
[04:53] ---
    ...Yes.
[04:54] ---
    Your device isn't working,
    and it's making you angry,
[04:57] ---
    but you're still trying to
    fulfill your club duties, right?
[04:59] ---
    But that's no reason to go hurting yourself!
[05:01] ---
    Do you understand?
[05:02] ---
    ...Yes.
[05:03] ---
    You're just doing this to yourself!
[05:05] ---
    Okay.
[05:06] ---
    Yes...
[05:10] ---
    I swear....
[05:30] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
[05:31] ---
    LAB
    SCIENCE CLUB
    Experiment No. 22
    The Rearscort
[05:34] ---
    Experiment No. 22
    The Rearscort
[05:40] ---
    I feel like there are
    more people than usual...
[05:49] ---
    ...Hello.
[05:50] ---
    That sort of reflexive attitude
    is common among club members!
[05:53] ---
    And it can be practiced on one's own!
[05:56] ---
    W-well,l that's good to know.
[05:59] ---
    UNREFINED SAKE
    AND ME
[06:00] ---
    So, who is that?
[06:02] ---
    That's Minamine, the president
    of the Tennis Club.
[06:05] ---
    There seems to be a lot
    of tension in the air...
[06:09] ---
    Well, about that!
[06:10] ---
    Our club captian hates guys!
[06:14] ---
    Oh, yeah. Yomogi, I forgot
    you were in the tennis club.
[06:16] ---
    That's right!
[06:18] ---
    So, why does she hates guys?
[06:20] ---
    Well, she's hit a rather difficult age...
[06:23] ---
    So, Uen-san, about that
    thing I asked you for...
[06:26] ---
    It's done.
[06:28] ---
    The Rear-skirt!
[06:29] ---
    Its sensors can detect particles
    unique to the male gaze,
[06:33] ---
    and its cloth-based artificial
    musculature will adjust the angle as needed,
[06:37] ---
    thus preventing the exposure
    of worn items that are of a sensitive nature.
[06:41] ---
    This is what you asked for, I guess.
[06:44] ---
    Thank you very much! This skirt is...
[06:48] ---
    it's what we girls in the Tennis Club
    have dreamed of for years!
[06:52] ---
    The skirt! In terms of elegance
    and ease of motion, it's been rightfully called
[06:56] ---
    the one item of clothing that
    epitomizes women's tennis.
[06:59] ---
    And yet, this culmination of beauty attracts
    a great amount of lewd and unwanted stares!
[07:06] ---
    can make men curious regarding
    what lies beneath.
[07:07] ---
    Blah Blah Blah
    Blah
[07:09] ---
    However, and this is not limited
    to a uniform of this nature,
[07:12] ---
    when wearing a skirt is required, should supplementary
    clothing such that the undergarments cannot be seen
[07:18] ---
    (by which is meant, they cannot be "peeped" upon),
    should this become a necessity,
[07:21] ---
    such would of course be welcome so
    as to prevent the aforementioned peeping,
[07:24] ---
    allowing a range of motion while
    avoiding gazes that are not welcome.
[07:29] ---
    Of course, this is not to say that being
    looked upon is entirely displeasing, to a certain extent,
[07:34] ---
    but this tends to stray into
    the realm of misunderstanding,
[07:36] ---
    not to mention CONSENT, wouldn't you say?
[07:39] ---
    Are you in acknowledgment
    of the facts as stated?!
[07:41] ---
    Y-yes! I do believe I'm in acknowledgment...
[07:45] ---
    I have undertaken various
    routes to combat this problem!
[07:49] ---
    I held schoolwide lectures...
[07:49] ---
    These are not panties!
    I held schoolwide lectures...
[07:51] ---
    Not panties! No!
    I broadcast videos on campus...
[07:54] ---
    I even put up signs around the tennis court.
[07:54] ---
    No Panties!!
[07:57] ---
    I'd say that is WHY you've
    gotten so much attention...
[08:00] ---
    No Panties
[08:00] ---
    And yet, my efforts bore no fruit!
    It did nothing to prevent the waves of lecherous men!
[08:02] ---
    No Panties
[08:05] ---
    We held study sessions in behavioral ecology
    before finally arriving at a single conclusion:
[08:11] ---
    The reason skirts attract attention is
    the possibility that SOMETHING can be seen!
[08:19] ---
    And so, the skirt I've requested
    takes that possibility and-
[08:22] ---
    Minamine-san! If you're going to change,
    please do it in the next room!
[08:26] ---
    Huh? I'm fine doing it right here.
[08:29] ---
    Well, I mean, there is a MAN present...
[08:34] ---
    You have a problem or something?!
[08:35] ---
    Huh?!
[08:37] ---
    Um, well, I don't think it would be
    proper to talk as if it's a "problem" or anything...
[08:45] ---
    You didn't understand a single thing
    I just talked about, did you?
[08:50] ---
    Now listen! This is NOT underwear!!
[08:53] ---
    These garments have been placed at
    the in precisely the OPPOSITE location,
[08:56] ---
    so that the actual underwear is not seen!
[08:58] ---
    How can you see these and think them lewd?
[09:01] ---
    What do you, Ueno-san?
    This man is the enemy, and they are everywhere!
[09:04] ---
    These things walk around
    with no moral compass other than carnal desire!
[09:08] ---
    Any form of clothing that catches
    your eye becomes a form of lust for you, doesn't it/!
[09:12] ---
    If this sort of clothing
    catches your fancy so much,
[09:14] ---
    why don't you go looking at a
    sports catalog or something?!
[09:19] ---
    Um, these are just my thoughts no the matter,
[09:21] ---
    But I think the clothing itself isn't
    why the men will come to watch.
[09:27] ---
    It's because, well... The person who's
    wearing the clothes is what matters.
[09:31] ---
    What are you going on about?! Speak clearly!
[09:31] ---
    ANGER!
[09:34] ---
    Um, put simply...
[09:36] ---
    I think they're coming to watch
    you because you're pretty.
[09:40] ---
    SHOCK!
[09:50] ---
    I understand. Thank you very much, Ueno-san.
[10:08] ---
    I think I made her mad...
    I guess I didn't choose the right words.
[10:13] ---
    TANAKA!
[10:15] ---
    Huh?
[10:16] ---
    That's what I can't stand about you!
[10:19] ---
    Was what I said really that bad?
[10:22] ---
    I'm just going to go to sleep...
[10:24] ---
    Class 1-6
[10:26] ---
    Tanaka! Grarr!

Season 1

E12 - Gan-Q - Ballet-Tan

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Experiment No. 23
    GAN-Q
[00:05] ---
    LAB
    Experiment No. 23
    GAN-Q
[00:06] ---
    Experiment No. 23
    GAN-Q
[00:07] ---
    Hey, Ueno!
[00:08] ---
    They all broke at once! These eyeball things.
[00:13] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[00:25] ---
    The wind against the glass
    creates an image of you
[00:31] ---
    What "color" will that wind be today?
    I want to experience it, completely
[00:37] ---
    Off in the corners of the classroom
[00:40] ---
    Through the tiniest of magics
[00:44] ---
    Another miracle occurs!
[00:48] ---
    A premonition of love
[00:49] ---
    My heart shouldn't be so uneasy,
    I don't know what's next
[00:55] ---
    Aah! What is it that throws
    my heart into turmoil?
[01:00] ---
    This sudden spark
[01:01] ---
    Love always drives me, and yet…
[01:07] ---
    Someone, someday, deliver
    these feelings to you!
[01:13] ---
    Aaand, there.
[01:16] ---
    There's no way all these could break at once!
[01:19] ---
    Lend me your glasses.
[01:23] ---
    What is all this?
[01:24] ---
    Well, lemme tell ya...
[01:26] ---
    Girls kinda don't like being peeped at and stuff,
    so when I found this I was like, "BOOM"!
[01:34] ---
    That explanation was nowhere near sufficient!
[01:37] ---
    It would seem that some MALES have come
    peeping on the Gymnastics Club during training,
[01:40] ---
    and the girls are none too pleased about it.
[01:42] ---
    So! That is why I made THIS!
[01:45] ---
    The GAN-Q!
[01:47] ---
    Footage from eight separate
    eyeball-shaped drones is
[01:51] ---
    simultaneously sent to a
    dedicated visor-type monitor,
[01:54] ---
    allowing for independent and
    wide-area search of possible hostiles.
[01:58] ---
    The design is such that should a club member
    wear these, any peeper would be instantly detected!
[02:03] ---
    I get it. So then, the
    Gymnastic Club's, um...
[02:07] ---
    I'm the club captain, Unogawa!
[02:08] ---
    BAM!
[02:11] ---
    Well? Can you fix them?
[02:12] ---
    I AM fixing them. Just wait a minute.
[02:28] ---
    So, how are these, would you say?
[02:30] ---
    Huh?
[02:31] ---
    Like, how do they work.
[02:34] ---
    Well, yeah, I guess they work, but
    it's kind of a hassle and stuff
[02:37] ---
    and I get distracted and all that...
[02:40] ---
    How come I gotta be the one on lookout duty?
[02:44] ---
    Because you're the club leader.
[02:45] ---
    Oh, I know! YOU should be on lookout, Ueno.
[02:48] ---
    I have nothing to do with
    the Gymnastics Club.
[02:50] ---
    There ya go, like this doesn't concern you...
[02:53] ---
    Hey, why don't you give
    gymnastics a shot? C'mon, yeah? C'mon.
[02:57] ---
    Not my problem.
[02:59] ---
    Hey! What's up with this belly?!
[03:02] ---
    Stop that.
[03:03] ---
    It's a bit flabby, wouldn't you say?
    You need to exercise more!
[03:07] ---
    Why not try out for
    gymnastics, huh? Gymnastics!
[03:07] ---
    Water Storage and Management
    for the Aftermath
[03:09] ---
    The legends passed down to us
    say that gymnastics is best for this!
[03:13] ---
    Oh, be quiet.
[03:14] ---
    LAB
[03:18] ---
    So, what does this "Science Club" do?
    Like, everyone's just on their own.
[03:23] ---
    You're all getting flabby
    stomachs because you're so lazy!
[03:27] ---
    And then, there's this ass!
[03:29] ---
    Stop that!
[03:30] ---
    Take a look at this body of mine, yeah?
    It's a miracle of this world, perhaps?
[03:36] ---
    You're not all that different
    from me, you know.
[03:38] ---
    Nah, don't compare THIS to
    that flabby body of yours.
[03:42] ---
    Um... Can I ask something?
[03:46] ---
    Whatcha want?
[03:47] ---
    Are you two...
[03:49] ---
    close like THAT?
[03:52] ---
    What do you mean, "Like THAT"?
[03:52] ---
    What do you mean, "Like THAT"?
[03:54] ---
    Yeah, we're like THAT.
[03:57] ---
    WHAT DO MEAN, "LIKE THAT"?
[03:57] ---
    What do you mean, "Like THAT"?
[03:59] ---
    Um, well, it's hardly my place to say, but...
[04:03] ---
    There's such a thing as politeness,
    even between friends,
[04:06] ---
    So talking about physical attributes
    is... how can I put this?
[04:10] ---
    They say the skeletal structure
    between men and women is different,
[04:14] ---
    so I feel bad for even making a comparison...
[04:18] ---
    You ain't made no comparison.
[04:19] ---
    Um, well, it's about what
    you mentioned earlier...
[04:30] ---
    Um, I'm sorry. I think maybe
    I'm not using the right words.
[04:35] ---
    Um, the thing is... First of all,
    Unogawa-senpai, you're a man, right?
[04:40] ---
    I'M A WOMAN!
[04:42] ---
    Huh?
[04:43] ---
    Why are you so surprised?!
[04:46] ---
    Well, you've been talking
    like a man, haven't you?
[04:48] ---
    You got a problem with that?
    Your standards of judgment are WAY off!
[04:54] ---
    You can tell by looking, right?!
[04:59] ---
    Ueno! This fool is just rude!
[05:01] ---
    Yeah, he's rude.
[05:04] ---
    Okay, look HERE.
[05:05] ---
    See? Look here. These are what girls wear.
[05:09] ---
    Yes, that's true...
    See? Look! Check 'em!
[05:11] ---
    That's not the way to show those!
[05:15] ---
    Thank you, Ueno!
[05:18] ---
    Well, see you!
[05:21] ---
    Hey! You left some of your eyes behind!
[05:24] ---
    SCIENCE
[05:25] ---
    I swear...
[05:29] ---
    Hey, dullard! I don't care
    if you didn't mean any harm:
[05:34] ---
    mistaking a girl for a boy is in no way cool.
[05:36] ---
    Okay. I'm sorry.
[05:38] ---
    Unogawa basically says
    what she thinks and listens when she wants.
[05:44] ---
    So I don't think she's too beat up about it.
    So, you know... I'm not that upset, either.
[05:48] ---
    Understood.
[05:51] ---
    You know, I'm sort of relieved.
[05:53] ---
    Yeah.
[06:01] ---
    ...Aren't you going to ask
    WHAT he's relieved about?
[06:07] ---
    Tambo! Tam...bo!
[06:09] ---
    Yamashita, what's with you?
[06:17] ---
    LAB
[06:18] ---
    Yo, Tanaka!
[06:18] ---
    LAB
    Experiment No. 24
    Ballet-tan
[06:19] ---
    Yes, what is it?
[06:20] ---
    Death by Tofu
    Experiment No. 24
    Ballet-tan
[06:20] ---
    Yo, Tanaka!
[06:22] ---
    Yes, what is it?
[06:23] ---
    If this MYSTERIOUS gum is desired by many,
    by what means would you procure it?
[06:29] ---
    Well, let's see... We could
    break it up to share with-
[06:31] ---
    Shut that mouth!
[06:33] ---
    Material sharing has been
    relegated to the past!
[06:37] ---
    Now is the age of exchange
    based on EMOTION...
[06:39] ---
    Through the use of the Ballet-tan!
[06:43] ---
    The Ballet-tan!
[06:45] ---
    The encephalic unit measures primary sensory
    elements transmitted to the gustatory area,
[06:51] ---
    and then, upon redirecting the
    parsed data to the ring-shaped armlet,
[06:54] ---
    shares that information via handshake
    to whomever wears the same device,
[06:56] ---
    allowing the recipient to vicariously share
    in the taste experience of the primary wearer.
[06:59] ---
    SWEET!!
[07:02] ---
    So, basically, shaking hands will directly
    transmit how you think things taste and stuff.
SIGN    You've pointed a lost alien family in the right direction. Collect 10 million yen and advance 10 spaces.
[07:08] ---
    That seems like it would be really useful.
SIGN    You've pointed a lost alien family in the right direction. Collect 10 million yen and advance 10 spaces. *FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES
[07:10] ---
    Still, it's not how something actually tastes:
    it's your perception of HOW it tastes.
[07:13] ---
    All right, let's try this thing out!
    What flavor is this mysterious gum?
[07:17] ---
    Think you can grab a paw and figure it out?!
[07:29] ---
    Oh, sorry. I forgot to put it
    on, which is sort of the point.
[07:34] ---
    Right now, we were just holding hands.
[07:40] ---
    Ma'am?
[07:42] ---
    Do you not want to try it out?
[07:43] ---
    Whoa-whoa-whoa, well, yeah!
[07:47] ---
    So, let's get on with it.
    Yamashita, you stay on my right.
[07:51] ---
    So, starting out with the gum, we'll...
[08:01] ---
    Y-Yamashita?
[08:19] ---
    Are you ready?
[08:21] ---
    Yes, all ready! Hurry up with that gum!
[08:24] ---
    Okay, here goes.
[08:29] ---
    Oh! Yes, there we go!
[08:31] ---
    This flavor is... Well, Yamashita,
    let's say it together.
[08:37] ---
    One, two... Cantalou-
[08:38] ---
    I'm not getting anything.
[08:42] ---
    The flavor hasn't reached me.
[08:44] ---
    I-I wonder why that is...
[08:46] ---
    Because that person there
    isn't holding your hand right.
[08:50] ---
    What, so, here?
[08:51] ---
    Yes. There.
[08:53] ---
    Yamashita!
[08:55] ---
    Ma'am, please pull yourself together.
    It's all right to just say it.
[08:59] ---
    Say, "Interlock your fingers with mine."
[09:02] ---
    SHOCK!
[09:05] ---
    HNGRARRGH
[09:08] ---
    Um, I'm really sorry, but...
[09:12] ---
    It looks like the signal
    just isn't quite enough.
[09:16] ---
    It's the WAY the hands are being held...
[09:21] ---
    The fingers...
[09:23] ---
    The fingers should be reciprocal, as in...
[09:27] ---
    Might as that you please
    thrust them into mine?
[09:31] ---
    Oh, okay. Understood.
[09:34] ---
    You mean, how couples hold hands, right?
[09:40] ---
    Um! I'm quite sorry, but...
[09:44] ---
    On my end, it was meant as
    something not quite that serious!
[09:48] ---
    It's troubling to have this
    thought in such a manner!
[09:48] ---
    SIGH
[09:53] ---
    Actually, come to think of it,
    I have some errands to run today.
[09:57] ---
    So, let's call quits here and now! BYE!
[10:03] ---
    B-bye...
[10:09] ---
    Tanaka-senpai.
[10:10] ---
    Huh?
[10:13] ---
    Ow, ow! Whoa, you're REALLY angry today!