2 - Money's Tiger

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:39] nagi
    I-I'm sorry. I lost by one measly step...
[01:44] haya
    Please don't worry about it. There's bound to be a parallel universe out there where you won.
[01:51] nagi
    Hayate?
[01:54] narr
    Oh yes, Hayate's fate...
SIGN    Money's Tiger
[02:02] nagi
    Why has Hayate been fired?!
[02:06] nagi
    I came second in the marathon!
[02:08] nagi
    Second!
[02:09] nagi
    And that's all because of Hayate's lousy training!
[02:12] klaus
    I have the utmost respect for what he managed to achieve in that regard.
[02:16] ---
    So...!
[02:18] klaus
    However, the deal we made was that I would fire him if you failed to finish in first.
[02:25] klaus
    It's a shame. Really.
[02:28] klaus
    Anyway, I've got some new applicants who would be more than worthy to be your butler. Let's pick one...
[02:35] nagi
    Then, I'll fire you too.
[02:41] klaus
    Wh-Why?
[02:43] nagi
    The shortcomings of your subordinates are your responsibility, aren't they?
[02:47] nagi
    You agree with me, don't you, Maria?
[02:49] maria
    Certainly.
[02:50] klaus
    M-Maria! Please talk some sense into her!
[02:53] maria
    Um... Right...
[03:01] klaus
    We haven't much time.
[03:04] klaus
    Take these and go.
[03:06] klaus
    Ojou-sama's fate is in your hands.
[03:13] maria
    Maid Black Max Heart!
[03:20] maria
    Perhaps firing him isn't a bad idea after all.
[03:23] nagi
    See what I mean?
[03:29] Haya
    No, this is my responsibility.
[03:33] ---
    Hayate...
[03:34] Haya
    No matter how much spin you put on it, I lost the wager.
[03:37] ---
    Ojou-sama wasn't able to finish in first place.
[03:40] Haya
    And I take full responsibility for that.
[03:44] Maria
    Hayate-kun...
[03:46] haya
    I will leave this mansion.
[03:49] haya
    Klaus-san, let's go find a new place to work together!
[03:52] klaus
    What? W-Wait a second...
[03:57] klaus
    If you're that determined, I'm willing to give you a second chance.
[04:03] nagi
    He folded.
[04:05] maria
    Klaus-san totally folded.
[04:07] haya
    What's this "second chance" you just mentioned?
[04:12] Klaus
    You have to go to a specific place to carry out some training.
[04:15] haya
    A specific place?
[04:19] Klaus
    The name of this place is:
[04:23] ---
    The Butler's Tiger Den!
[04:25] Klaus
    The Butler's Tiger Den!
[04:28] haya
    The Butler's Tiger Den?
[04:31] haya
    So basically, if I go there, I can become Ojou-sama's butler again.
[04:37] haya
    Ojou-sama, please don't worry.
[04:41] haya
    I will overcome this challenge and return to you.
[04:48] nagi
    O-Okay.
[04:51] ---
    I shall return.
[04:55] haya
    Ojou-sama, please wait for me.
[04:58] haya
    I'll overcome any and all challenges...
[05:00] haya
    and then I'll return to become your butler once more!
[05:07] haya
    I think the reason I lost this time was my fixation on money.
[05:14] haya
    In the end, wherever I end up, I just seem to be controlled by money anyway.
[05:25] haya
    I guess an intellectual like her isn't tied down by money.
[05:33] haya
    I'd like this one, please.
[05:36] fv
    Thanks. Here's your change.
[05:38] haya
    When was the last time I had a breakfast like this?
[05:51] ---
    This money...
[05:52] ---
    Yes?
[05:53] sist
    I found it, so that makes it mine, right?
[05:56] sist
    No, it doesn't.
[05:58] sist
    Man, what a cheapskate.
[06:07] haya
    We're on the same train...
[06:10] haya
    And she's really pretty.
[06:12] haya
    It might just be because she's wearing a habit,
[06:16] haya
    but she looks so intelligent and pure.
[06:41] mv
    Ya think wearin' that suit makes you a hotshot, huh?
[06:43] haya
    What?
[06:45] mv
    I got fired today 'cause they found out...
[06:47] mv
    I was buyin' anime DVDs with the company's money.
[06:50] ---
    Not jus' that, but I have a three million yen debt to my name.
[06:54] mv
    How can I collect DVDs now?
[06:58] haya
    What a coincidence. I was also fired today and I'm in debt too.
[07:02] haya
    A debt of around 150 million yen...
[07:04] mv
    I can't stomach people like ya who work day in, day out.
[07:07] mv
    I can't stomach anime shows bein' broadcast late at night and on satellite.
[07:12] mv
    If I miss 'em, I've got no choice but to buy the DVD.
[07:15] mv
    The rental store doesn't stock 'em either!
[07:18] haya
    I'm guessing you don't know what time-slot this show airs in...
[07:21] mv
    So, the long and short of it is, I can't stomach a whole bunch of stuff.
[07:24] mv
    That's why I'm gonna lay ya out!
[07:30] sist
    Please stop it!
[07:35] sist
    You poor lost little lamb... Please...
[07:38] sist
    Take your evil hands off this fragile young boy.
[07:44] haya
    Sister...
[07:46] mv
    Who the hell ya tryin' to kid with that nun outfit?
[07:50] sist
    I-I'm a real nun...
[07:54] sist
    Please stop this. Violence will only destroy you...
[07:58] sist
    I can tell that you are a man of purity at heart.
[08:03] mv
    The Lord is always watching over you.
[08:06] ---
    S-Sister...
[08:09] mv
    What have I become?
[08:12] mv
    Ha, whatever! Didya really think I'd say somethin' like that?
[08:14] mv
    If anythin', I prefer Shinto priestesses!
[08:17] mv
    Japanese men love their long red skirts!
[08:21] mv
    The whites, the reds, and the slit up the side. Heaven!
[08:25] mv
    That's why I'm gonna lay you out too!
[08:29] haya
    Sister!
[08:33] sist
    Say your prayers...
[08:43] sist
    Amen.
[08:47] haya
    Amazing. She didn't even flinch...
[09:00] haya
    Please wait!
[09:03] haya
    Thank you for helping me back there.
[09:07] haya
    How can I show you my gratitude?
[09:11] sist
    You can give me a teacup...
[09:13] haya
    You what?
[09:14] sist
    I once heard a myth that says if you help someone on a train in Japan,
[09:18] sist
    they give you a designer teacup.
[09:21] haya
    I'm guessing you mean that urban legend that was popular not so long ago - the one about the man on the train.
[09:27] sist
    So, does that mean you won't give me one?
[09:29] haya
    Well, that only applied when a man saved a woman.
[09:37] sist
    Your face is pretty girly though!
[09:48] haya
    If you want, you can have this.
[09:52] haya
    Oh dear, I made her angry again.
[09:58] sist
    May the Lord bless your soul.
SIGN    Alex San Marco Church (Incidentally, the Butler's Tiger Den too)
[10:25] haya
    I-Incidentally?
[10:28] sist
    Welcome to the Butler's Tiger Den.
[10:30] sist
    My name is Sister Fortesia...
[10:35] both
    What's this?
[10:36] narr
    Hayate has just met the suspicious nun once again.
[10:42] narr
    More in the second half.
[10:56] nagi
    So, why is there a hamster in the house?
[10:59] ayu
    I'm not a hamster, I'm Nishizawa! Ayumu Nishizawa!
[11:03] nagi
    Maria, I think it wants sunflower seeds with its tea.
[11:07] ayu
    Are you listening? Are you even listening to me, Sanzenin-chan?
[11:10] nagi
    If you're looking for Hayate, he's not here.
[11:12] ayu
    What?
[11:14] nagi
    To cut a long story short, he's gone on a journey to train his mind and body.
[11:18] ayu
    What's that? Maybe he left because he finally got sick of you.
[11:22] nagi
    I just told you he's gone off training!
[11:24] nagi
    Hayate's always been smitten with me!
[11:29] ayu
    Seems like you're pretty confident about that. But is it really all right to let Hayate-kun go off by himself?
[11:37] nagi
    What do you mean?
[11:39] ayu
    Well, Hayate-kun's got horrible luck with women,
[11:43] ayu
    so if he's traveling by himself, he's bound to get caught up with some strange woman...
[11:48] haya
    Please stop, Ojou-sama.
[11:51] nagi
    I'll be gentle, Hayate.
[11:53] ayu
    Something like that!
[11:54] nagi
    As if it would, you stupid hamster!
[11:56] nagi
    What's up with your dirty imagination?!
[11:59] maria
    But Hayate-kun is prone to getting mixed up with women...
[12:06] nagi
    It'll be fine. Hayate will never be seduced by any other woman but me.
[12:10] maria
    There's also the possibility of him being seduced by a man...
[12:12] nagi
    No way! I won't allow that to happen!
[12:17] narr
    Just as Nagi and the others suspect,
[12:18] narr
    our main character has become mixed up with a strange woman.
[12:22] haya
    So, you were born in Greece.
[12:25] sist
    Yes, a Greek island called Mikonos.
[12:28] haya
    That's in the Mediterranean.
[12:30] haya
    It must be really beautiful there.
[12:34] sist
    Why, yes it is! This paltry speck of a country couldn't possibly hope to match its beauty.
[12:39] haya
    Is that right?
[12:41] sist
    Yes.
[12:42] sist
    Oh! Did I say something wrong?
[12:46] sist
    I'm sorry, my Japanese isn't very good yet.
[12:51] haya
    I see.
[12:55] haya
    Come to think of it, what is the Butler's Tiger Den?
[12:58] sist
    Oh, that's right.
[13:01] sist
    This place is a facility used for retraining useless butlers,
[13:05] sist
    even though it's clearly pointless.
[13:10] sist
    We train up these useless, incompetent pieces of trash so they can be slightly useful.
SIGN    Useless, Incompetent, Pieces of Trash
[13:20] sist
    Is something wrong?
[13:21] haya
    Ah no... I was just considering how your forthright Japanese packs quite a punch...
[13:27] sist
    Well, if you can't get back on your feet, then you're probably 100% trash too...
[13:32] sist
    and you'll probably never be able to return to your master.
[13:37] sist
    Your training starts tomorrow,
[13:41] ---
    so please get a good night's sleep tonight.
[13:53] haya
    Never able to return, huh?
[13:57] haya
    Hearing her say that alarmed me.
[14:01] haya
    I didn't let her see that it bothered me, though.
[14:05] haya
    If I can't go back, what will I do?
[14:10] haya
    If I can't go back...
[14:15] haya
    I'll be back at square one - right back to where I was that one Christmas evening.
[14:20] haya
    Alone again.
[14:22] haya
    That night, when I had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn...
[14:28] haya
    Ojou-sama...
[14:33] nagi
    Oh, Hayate. How's it going?
[14:37] haya
    Ojou-sama, why are you calling me this late at night?
[14:39] haya
    What's wrong with it? I can't just call you whenever I feel like it now?!
[14:47] haya
    No, of course you can.
[14:49] nagi
    Why did you pause?
[14:53] nagi
    You aren't mixed up with a strange woman, are you?!
[14:58] haya
    Don't worry!
[14:59] haya
    I don't think I could possibly become involved with a woman who's weirder than you any time soon.
[15:04] nagi
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[15:07] nagi
    Hey, Hayate...
[15:10] Haya
    Yes?
[15:12] nagi
    Come back soon, okay?
[15:19] haya
    Okay. Leave it to me.
[15:22] haya
    I'll overcome all trials and return to you.
[15:26] sist
    Shut up!
[15:29] sist
    Cellphones are forbidden on church property! I'm confiscating that!
[15:33] nagi
    Hey, who's that woman?
[15:35] haya
    Wait a minute, Sister! No, don't touch me there!
[15:45] nagi
    Just as I suspected, Hayate's been seduced by a strange woman.
[15:50] nagi
    Maria!
[15:51] maria
    Yes?
[15:52] Nagi
    Tell me where the Butler's Tiger Den is!
[15:55] maria
    What?
[16:01] sist
    I'm sorry about last night. I was out of line.
[16:05] haya
    Don't worry about it.
[16:06] sist
    When it comes to sleep and money, I sometimes forget myself.
[16:11] haya
    It sure looks that way.
[16:12] sist
    I'm perfect in all other aspects.
[16:16] haya
    About the training...
[16:18] sist
    You shall be completing our hands-on course for butlers.
[16:21] ayu
    Me! Me! Please pick me!
[16:27] ayu
    Under one roof, the butler and his Ojou-sama...
[16:33] ayu
    What a wonderful scenario...
[16:36] sist
    It's not like that!
[16:37] sist
    The exam you will undergo is:
[16:42] sist
    The Butler Quest!
[16:46] narr
    The Butler Quest is a Dungeons and Dragons quest where you have to retrieve the Butler's Medal...
[16:55] narr
    from the depths of a massive dungeon, which the Father of this church,
[16:59] narr
    a man who gets excited at the mere mention of the words "underground dungeon", built all by himself as a hobby.
[17:06] haya
    Does that mean I have to form a four-man party and conquer the dungeon?
[17:11] sist
    Excellent. You understand.
[17:12] nagi
    I see!
[17:16] nagi
    I don't really know what's going on, but I'm getting kind of excited!
[17:20] haya
    Ojou-sama? When did you... wait, you want to join in too?
[17:25] nagi
    Of course!
[17:26] nagi
    Did you really think the heroine Nagi would sit idly by while there's a great adventure like this to be had?
[17:31] nagi
    All right, let's go, Hayate!
[17:34] nagi
    We'll form a party and free the world from the clutches of evil!
[17:37] haya
    Wait! The goal's meant to be me becoming a butler again.
[17:44] sist
    You've already found your first party member.
[17:47] sist
    Good luck finding the rest!
[17:50] narr
    Our butler-in-debt has started on his mission to find more members for his adventuring party.
[17:59] yuki
    What's this, Hina?
[18:01] hina
    The prize money for the marathon.
[18:05] yuki
    I was told that the total prize money for the five traditional events totaled 150 million,
[18:09] yuki
    and the prize money for the marathon alone was five million yen.
[18:12] yuki
    So, why have I only ended up with 12,020 yen?!
[18:15] hina
    Because I've already subtracted all the money you owe for all the debts you've piled up.
[18:19] yuki
    I-I didn't tell you to do that! You're cruel, Hina!
[18:22] hina
    I'm not. I didn't take the thirty thousand yen you still owe me,
[18:26] hina
    so be grateful you got anything at all!
[18:28] hina
    Here's a detailed invoice.
[18:30] yuki
    You demon!
[18:32] yuki
    You idiot, Hina! You flat-chested buffoon!
[18:37] hina
    I am not flat-chested!
[18:41] yuki
    Hina's so mean.
[18:43] yuki
    I was so looking forward to drinking all that posh booze.
[18:47] yuki
    Isn't there an adventure going on somewhere that'll make me a quick buck?
[18:51] haya
    We need more members before we set out.
[18:55] haya
    Who should we ask?
[18:56] nagi
    Strong fighters, obviously.
[18:59] haya
    But, we should never ask someone like Katsura-sensei.
[19:03] nagi
    I'd imagine she'd just run into every trap she could find too.
[19:06] yuki
    Whoa, whoa! You can't expect me to ignore that.
[19:09] yuki
    If you're going on an adventure, you need a beautiful elf.
[19:13] yuki
    So, Yukiji Deedlit will join your party!
[19:16] yuki
    And jump...
[19:18] haya
    No thanks.
[19:20] yuki
    H-Hey, wait!
[19:21] yuki
    Please take me with you!
[19:24] yuki
    Take me on a journey of dreams, romance and get-rich-quick schemes!
[19:27] haya
    Okay, okay.
[19:30] nagi
    What makes you an elf exactly?
[19:32] narr
    The alcoholic teacher has joined the party.
[19:37] hina
    You want to discuss something with me?
[19:38] haya
    Yes, I would welcome your help, Hinagiku-san.
[19:44] hina
    What might this be for, Ayasaki-kun?
[19:46] haya
    What? I'm sure she was calling me Hayate-kun up until recently...
[19:50] hina
    What is it, Ayasaki-kun?
[19:52] hina
    Would this discussion pertain to whether or not I can help you?
[19:55] haya
    Huh? Well actually, I'm about to embark...
[19:58] haya
    on a quest to a dungeon situated underneath the Alex San Marco Church.
[20:02] hina
    But would I really be of any use to you? I mean I can't even cross a suspension bridge.
[20:13] haya
    Y-You're angry about the marathon, aren't you?
[20:16] hina
    Not particularly. I'm not angry... at all.
[20:22] haya
    Oh great. I'm in a pinch now.
[20:24] hina
    But I didn't realize you were such a sadist, Ayasaki-kun.
[20:29] haya
    That was just something that happened during a battle and...
[20:31] hina
    Is it fun to torture girls?
[20:34] haya
    At the time, I had to help Ojou-sama and...
[20:38] hina
    Ah, so you're saying you have a Lolita complex.
[20:44] ---
    Um... Um... Um...
[20:48] haya
    I'm sorry. I'll come back later!
[20:53] hina
    What was that about?
[20:58] hina
    Coward...
[21:01] haya
    If I can't even ask Hinagiku-san,
[21:03] haya
    taking those two by themselves is a pretty worrying prospect.
[21:06] saki
    Oh, Hayate-san.
[21:09] haya
    Saki-san?
[21:12] saki
    I see,
[21:15] ---
    you're looking for people you can rely on.
[21:17] haya
    That's right. Do you know anyone, Saki-san?
[21:21] saki
    W-Well...
[21:27] ---
    My young master is very reliable.
[21:33] iyo
    Evil spirits in the church?
[21:36] sis2
    Yes. They're living in an underground dungeon, and because of it,
[21:39] sis2
    we haven't been able to come to church.
[21:42] iyo
    I don't know if I can be of any help, but I'll give it a go.
[21:46] sis2
    Oh, thank you so much!
[21:49] iyo
    You needn't thank me, Sister Fortesia.
[21:57] haya
    So, Sister Fortesia, the dungeon is behind this door, right?
[22:01] sist
    Yes. I will pray for your success.
[22:05] nagi
    Let's go, Hayate!
[22:07] yuki
    Treasure, treasure, treasure!
[22:10] wata
    Huh? Huh?
[22:11] wata
    Wait, what is this?
[22:14] narr
    With that, our heroes throw themselves into the huge underground labyrinth.
[22:19] narr
    Will they find fame or death?
[22:22] narr
    Who exactly is the bespectacled nun who's enshrouded in mystery?
[22:25] narr
    Yada yada yada... Does any of this actually have anything to do with butlers?
[22:29] narr
    All of these mysteries will be solved next week!
[24:06] nagi
    Just you watch, Hayate! I won't let them fire you.
[24:09] hayate
    But, Ojou-sama, what do we do if we fail?
[24:13] nagi
    In that case, you'll have to wear a mask and be reborn as the butler of the shadows, Masked Hayate.
[24:18] ---
    Huh?
[24:19] nagi
    A mysterious servant from the Nerima region whose identity is unknown, even to me.
[24:22] haya
    Surely I'd be the secret identity...
[24:25] nagi
    Hayate, don't give it away!
[24:27] haya
    Anyway, the next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler is entitled There's No Legend After All.
[24:31] nagi
    That's right: No Legend!