12 - A Cruel Idiot's Thesis

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] narr
    It's March 3rd and Hakuou Gakuin's Hina Festival Festival is in full swing!
[01:37] narr
    After being struck by the doll maker's curse, Hayate is currently sporting a fetching maid's outfit.
[01:42] narr
    To lift the curse, he has to defeat the Student Council President, Hinagiku.
[01:47] narr
    But, being the unlucky, cross-dressing butler that he is, he's being held up at this very moment...
[01:54] narr
    by the passionate confession of a man he's just run into.
[01:56] narr
    The deadline for lifting the curse is the end of the festival.
[02:00] narr
    The clock is ticking!
SIGN    A Cruel Idiot's Thesis
[02:09] ---
    I've fallen in love with you!
[02:12] haya
    What?! What are you talking about? Stop messing around!
[02:15] kote
    Do you think I'd say that if I was just playing around?
[02:17] kote
    I'm serious! I really am!
[02:20] haya
    But that's...
[02:21] haya
    I don't know what to do when you tell me something like that all of a sudden.
[02:33] haya
    Segawa-san!
[02:35] kote
    Hm? What? Ojou?
[02:37] sega
    Oh, sorry for interrupting! Don't mind me. Please carry on.
[02:42] kote
    Okay...
[02:43] haya
    No, it's not okay!
[02:45] sega
    But who'd have thought you'd be into stuff like this, Hayata-kun.
[02:49] haya
    No, this isn't what it looks like!
[02:51] haya
    What? Hayata-kun?
[02:53] haya
    Ojou, who's this Hayata-kun you speak of?
[02:56] haya
    This girl's name is Hermione...
[02:59] sega
    That's a boy.
[03:00] kote
    What?
[03:01] kote
    Like I said, Hayata-kun's a boy. His name's Hayate Ayasaki.
[03:07] haya
    So, you do know my real name, after all.
[03:09] kote
    What are you talking about, Ojou?
[03:13] kote
    A boy? What? But he's so cute!
[03:16] sega
    See?
[03:21] haya
    Segawa-san, why do you have my student ID?
[03:26] sega
    Hm, I wonder.
[03:28] haya
    You're the one who got the wrong idea. It's not my...
[03:32] kote
    You deceived me.
[03:35] kote
    You... You deceived me just like all the girls before you.
[03:40] sega
    My butler, Kotetsu-kun, has no luck with the ladies.
[03:44] sega
    He's super strong, but he reads into everything way too much, and when he flips out, he's a pain in the butt.
[03:48] sega
    He's also a trainspotter who's always pouring over timetables and stuff.
[03:52] kote
    It's because of people like you...
[03:56] kote
    that the war goes on!
[03:58] haya
    What are you talking about?
[04:04] kote
    So you've run away, Hermione-san.
[04:07] sega
    It's Hayata-kun.
[04:18] nagi
    So, this is the Hina Festival Festival. Pretty lively, huh?
[04:22] mari
    Sure is.
[04:24] hina
    Oh, this is a rare sight.
[04:27] nagi
    Hinagiku.
[04:28] hina
    It's rare for you to come to such a crowded place of your own free will.
[04:32] nagi
    Don't make it sound like I'm a hikikomori!
[04:34] mari
    Aren't you though?
[04:36] nagi
    I went out of my way to come here today because I was told...
[04:39] nagi
    we were celebrating your birthday here tonight.
[04:41] hina
    What?
[04:45] hina
    That's news to me.
[04:48] nagi
    Oh? But the others from the Student Council said...
[04:51] nagi
    Well, in any case... here you go.
[04:55] hina
    What's that?
[04:56] nagi
    It's your birthday. This is a present. You do the math.
[04:59] nagi
    Open it.
[05:05] hina
    Oh, this watch looks pretty expensive.
[05:09] nagi
    Hm, looks like she doesn't have a clue about watches.
[05:12] nagi
    It was pretty cheap. If you don't like it, you don't have to accept it.
[05:16] hina
    Oh no, it's not like that!
[05:20] hina
    Thank you. I'll cherish it.
[05:23] nagi
    Hmph, bet you'll break it straightaway.
[05:26] hina
    No, I won't!
[05:29] nagi
    We'll see. Anyway, we're done here, so let's go home, Maria.
[05:34] mari
    Sure.
[05:36] hina
    Nagi, make sure you come to school!
[05:38] nagi
    Yes, yes, I will when I feel like it.
[05:47] nagi
    Anyway, what's Hayate up to?
[05:49] nagi
    Didn't he come here earlier with Isumi and the others?
[05:52] mari
    Maybe they all got lost...
[05:56] nagi
    Man, that Hayate is hopeless.
[05:59] kote
    Hayate?
[06:01] kote
    You know Hayate Ayasaki?
[06:04] nagi
    What? He's my butler...
[06:10] kote
    Then, you're coming with me!
[06:16] mari
    Nagi!
[06:17] kote
    Tell Hermione... I mean, tell Hayate Ayasaki to come and get his master back if he's a real butler!
[06:24] kote
    And when you get there, Hayate, I'll expose your true face to the public!
[06:29] mari
    Nagi!
[06:34] saku
    Oh, I hit it!
[06:35] saku
    Hey, old man, I hit it!
[06:37] man
    You're good, little lady.
[06:39] man
    Here. Here's another prize for you, cutie-pie.
[06:42] saku
    Wow, thanks, old man!
[06:48] saku
    Yo Wataru, look at this! The old man gave me an extra one. All because I'm cute!
[06:52] saku
    A prize for being cute.
[06:55] wata
    Stop emphasizing that part.
[06:58] saku
    But, Hakuou's a good school. It's so bighearted.
[07:04] saku
    If I'd known it was such a good school...
[07:07] saku
    Maybe going to school with Nagi wouldn't have been so bad either...
[07:14] narr
    Sakuya gave her admission certificate for Hakuou Gakuin to Wataru.
[07:21] narr
    So this is a subject that he feels guilty about to Sakuya.
[07:26] wata
    S-Sakuya! Do you want some cotton candy or something? Y'know, cotton candy? My treat.
[07:31] saku
    Really? Yeah, let's get some!
[07:32] wata
    After that, how about we go and scoop some goldfish over there? My treat!
[07:36] saku
    What's up with you all of a sudden? You're being really generous today.
[07:39] guar
    Ojou-sama!
[07:42] guar
    Where are you?!
[07:44] guar
    Ojou-sama!
[07:46] mari
    Hey, you guys - you're all pretty unreliable, aren't you?
[07:50] guar
    Gulp.
[07:51] guar
    B-But, Maria-sama, there's no way we can beat a butler.
[07:55] guar
    It's like how Super Soldiers don't stand a chance against Innovators.
[07:59] mari
    Please don't use Nagi-like analogies.
[08:02] mari
    I guess there's no other way. I'll have to do something about this.
[08:06] guar
    What? Maria-sama, you're going to rescue her?!
[08:10] guar
    But it's dangerous!
[08:10] guar
    How are you going to find her?!
[08:15] mari
    Hello, Nagi? Where have you been taken?
[08:19] guar
    Her cellphone?!
[08:21] nagi
    Oh, Maria. Sorry for making you worry.
[08:25] nagi
    But it looks like there's no need to be worried.
[08:28] nagi
    Hey, you there! Maria wants to know what your intentions are.
[08:32] kote
    Don't worry. You're just bait to lure Hayate Ayasaki here.
[08:37] nagi
    A trap for Hayate? What are you planning to do once he gets here?
[08:41] kote
    I'm in love with him.
[08:45] nagi
    Maria? I'm not in any danger, but this guy's dangerous all the same.
[08:49] nagi
    Tell the SWAT team to ready the snipers.
[08:51] kote
    What?! Don't mock me!
[08:54] kote
    I'm serious. I'm really in...
[08:58] nagi
    Well, you heard that it'd be dangerous to call Hayate here, so don't. Bye.
[09:03] kote
    Why, you!
[09:05] guar
    Boy am I glad that Ojou-sama's safe.
[09:08] guar
    Yeah, that's great news.
[09:10] mari
    Shouldn't you be off doing something about this? I'll cut your wages if you don't.
[09:16] guar
    We'll go confirm Ojou-sama's location!
[09:21] mari
    But, I wonder where Hayate-kun's gone to...
[09:29] haya
    Ouch.
[09:33] haya
    That wasn't good. I can't believe I just fell off a cliff...
[09:37] haya
    But I guess it means I managed to shake him off.
[09:41] haya
    All is good for the time be-
[09:51] haya
    What in the world is this outfit?!
[09:52] haya
    My clothes are even more embarrassing now!
[09:54] haya
    What am I going to do? I don't have the cape to conceal my clothes anymore.
[09:59] haya
    This miniskirt is just too...
[10:02] haya
    How can I...
[10:06] haya
    Wh-What? Who are you?!
[10:09] doll
    It looks like, in this era, people ask questions after they've dropkicked you.
[10:16] doll
    Anyway, if you don't know who I am, then I'll tell you.
[10:19] doll
    I couldn't hold myself back anymore, so I appeared before you.
[10:22] doll
    I am the curse of the Hina doll that's been causing you to cross-dress.
[10:27] ---
    I am the doll maker, Geppetto!
[10:33] haya
    I see. So that means this stupid curse will be lifted if I just crush you...
[10:37] doll
    No, wait! Wait! Lemme go!
[10:39] doll
    Look, your phone! Your phone's ringing!
[10:43] haya
    Hello?
[10:45] haya
    What? Ojou-sama has been kidnapped?!
[11:03] all
    Happy birthday!
[11:05] hina
    Huh? What's going on?
[11:07] miki
    Duh! It's a birthday party.
[11:10] hina
    A birthday party? But why are there so many people here?
[11:13] risa
    Have you forgotten what you said?
[11:14] hina
    Huh?
[11:15] hina
    We asked you how you were going to celebrate your birthday...
[11:18] ---
    and you said:
[11:19] hina
    A birthday party? Hm, I don't really like big parties,
[11:25] hina
    so I'll probably just go and have dinner with my family or something.
[11:28] miki
    So that's why we threw the most extravagant bash we possibly could.
[11:31] hina
    You take being contradictory to a whole new level.
[11:32] yuki
    Forget about it. It's more fun this way.
[11:36] hina
    Oh, sis.
[11:37] yuki
    Here's my present to you.
[11:40] yuki
    Happy birthday, Hina.
[11:43] hina
    Oh? Thank you, sis. I didn't think I'd get anything from you.
[11:48] hina
    I wonder what it is.
SIGN    Good for One Back Massage
[11:53] yuki
    It's a coupon for a back massage. Don't worry, I'm really good at massages.
[12:02] hina
    But, is it really okay to throw such a huge party?
[12:07] miki
    Don't sweat it. I'm the daughter of a politician. Parties are my forte. The real problem is...
[12:21] miki
    If it was straightforward like with that Azumamiya boy, the usual deal would have been fine...
[12:27] miki
    but, if on the off-chance, it turned into a party with just the two of you...
[12:31] miki
    So? Where's Hayata-kun's present?
[12:33] hina
    What? I haven't got one from him.
[12:36] hina
    That reminds me...
[12:38] haya
    I'll try to think of a good present to give you.
[12:43] hina
    Then, maybe that letter...
[12:44] hina
    Maybe the purpose of that letter was a roundabout way of setting it up so we can be alone?
[12:51] hina
    What? But... But... Really? But that's...
[12:58] hina
    What should I do. That's just too...
[13:01] miki
    Now that the guest of honor is here...
[13:03] risa
    Let's get this party started!
[13:05] ---
    What?
[13:06] risa
    To kick off, let's get the Student Council President up here to sing her heart out!
[13:11] hina
    What?!
[13:13] hina
    Wait! What's going on?!
[13:16] haya
    Where's Ojou-sama being held?!
[13:19] mari
    Um, according to the tracking devices we attached to both you and Nagi...
[13:24] haya
    Wait a sec... when did you put plant those on us?
[13:27] mari
    It looks like the shortest route would be straight through the festival.
[13:31] haya
    Understood! Don't worry. I'll rescue Ojou-sama!
[13:36] doll
    In that outfit?
[13:38] doll
    That kick really hurt, you know. Maybe I'll put an even more embarrassing ensemble on you.
[13:43] doll
    Maybe you should take a route where you can avoid being seen.
[13:50] haya
    Mr. Geppetto. This isn't a curse, I'm being punished.
[13:54] doll
    What?
[13:55] haya
    The curse, my debt, my studies... Lately, I've only been concerned with my own affairs.
[14:01] haya
    To think that Ojou-sama is in danger because of me...
[14:05] haya
    That's why the most embarrassing thing about all this isn't the outfit I'm wearing, but my heart!
[14:09] haya
    Even if I'm wearing a maid's outfit, I'm still a butler at heart!
[14:15] risa
    Right, now that she's changed, without further ado, here she is!
[14:20] hina
    Wait, how did they manage to change my clothes?! And where exactly am I?!
[14:26] risa
    Please sing for us! The song is: Cruel Angel's Thesis!
[14:32] hina
    What? No, no, wait!
[14:34] ---
    I can't sing!
[14:36] ---
    And now... start the music!
[14:40] hina
    For crying out loud!
[14:43] hina
    Just like the cruel angel
[14:49] hina
    Young boy, become a legend
[15:05] hina
    Even though the untested breeze taps at the door to your heart
[15:12] hina
    You just look solely at me and smile
[15:20] hina
    So intent on seeking out that gentle touch
[15:27] hina
    Such innocent eyes, still ignorant of their destiny
[15:34] hina
    But someday, you are sure to realize that upon your back
[15:42] hina
    You have the wings with which to fly towards the distant future
[15:49] hina
    The cruel angel's thesis
[15:53] hina
    Soon, you will take flight from the windowsill
[15:57] hina
    With your torrent of ardent pathos
[16:01] hina
    If you are to betray our memories
[16:04] hina
    You, who embrace these heavens and shine
[16:08] hina
    Young boy, become a legend
[16:17] miki
    Hina really knows how to get a crowd going.
[16:20] risa
    I can't believe she was able to sing a song she barely knows so passionately.
[16:24] sega
    Hina-chan's amazing.
[16:27] hina
    And now, the three other members of the Student Council will sing:
[16:30] hina
    The Girl Who Leapt Through Time!
[16:33] all
    What?!
[16:35] narr
    Hina-chan gets her revenge!
[16:38] ---
    The girl who leapt...
[16:38] mom
    But, a lively birthday like this isn't bad either.
[16:42] ---
    through time.
[16:42] hina
    This has just turned into a karaoke competition.
[16:45] mom
    Who cares? You were cute up there.
[16:45] ---
    Love is...
[16:47] mom
    I can just picture your father's face of regret...
[16:48] ---
    a shining...
[16:49] mom
    for being unable to come home from his travels abroad.
[16:50] ---
    boat.
[16:51] hina
    Don't tell Dad about this.
[16:52] ---
    I will leap over...
[16:54] mom
    By the way, I haven't seen Ayasaki-kun around anywhere.
[16:56] ---
    the past, the future, and the stars,
[16:59] letter
    Tomorrow night at 9 o'clock
    One on one!
    Meet at the top of the Hakuou
    Gakuin Clock Tower
    and let's fight (Bring weapons)
[17:01] ---
    so catch me in your arms.
[17:02] hina
    Mom, please go on home without me.
[17:05] mom
    What?
[17:06] hina
    I have a score to settle.
[17:11] nagi
    Not like that! How many times do I have to tell you?!
[17:13] nagi
    When I tell you to bring me a coffee, you have to bring me a latte!
[17:17] nagi
    Are you trying to embarrass your master who can't drink black coffee...
[17:19] nagi
    by getting her to add lots of milk and sugar in front of everyone?!
[17:23] kote
    B-But!
[17:25] nagi
    No buts!
[17:26] nagi
    What kind of training have you had up till now?!
[17:28] nagi
    Are you even a butler at all?!
[17:30] nagi
    Listen. When your master wants gumdrops, you don't ask what flavor.
[17:34] nagi
    You should always have mint, plum and blueberry as backup.
[17:37] nagi
    To cover all bases, you should also have lemon and grapefruit on hand.
[17:39] nagi
    Then, you carefully slip it into their pocket.
[17:41] nagi
    That's how a first-rate butler must act.
[17:43] kote
    No one can be that considerate!
[17:46] nagi
    Hayate does it.
[17:49] nagi
    On top of that, Hayate also slips gumdrops and kelp snacks into my pockets...
[17:52] nagi
    and he's prepared for any situation...
[17:53] kote
    Shut up, shut up, shut up!
[17:55] kote
    You're a hostage whose purpose is to lure out Ayasaki!
[17:59] kote
    Hostages shouldn't criticize their kidnappers!
[18:01] nagi
    I've criticized every single person who's kidnapped me.
[18:05] kote
    What a despicable hostage.
[18:11] nagi
    Anyway, what are you going to do when he gets here?
[18:15] kote
    I doubt you'll understand,
[18:17] kote
    but I summoned all of my courage and confessed my love to him, even though I have no luck with girls.
[18:23] kote
    It was love at first sight. I thought... I thought he was a really cute girl...
[18:30] nagi
    I see.
[18:31] kote
    My love for him was true! It was!
[18:35] ---
    But he was actually a guy... and he betrayed my feelings!
[18:41] kote
    That's why I'll capture him and beat him to a pulp.
[18:44] nagi
    I see. So when you found out he was a guy, you turned away.
[18:48] nagi
    Boy, your love sure is shallow.
[18:51] kote
    What?!
[18:53] nagi
    It's true though, isn't it? Your love only amounted to liking his outer appearance.
[18:59] nagi
    Your heart wasn't in it at all.
[19:02] nagi
    The reason you can't get a girlfriend is because your love is so shallow!
[19:10] kote
    It's true.
[19:13] haya
    Ojou-sama!
[19:15] haya
    Are you all right?
[19:16] nagi
    Hayate, you really are hopeless. I told you not to come here.
[19:21] haya
    Kotetsu-san! If you harmed my Ojou-sama in any way, then I'll...
[19:25] kote
    I'm giving her back.
[19:27] kote
    It's all true.
[19:29] kote
    As soon as I found out that you were a guy, I flipped out like a fool.
[19:35] haya
    Did something happen?
[19:37] nagi
    Well, it just means that he's not really a bad guy.
[19:40] kote
    Thank you. You've opened my eyes.
[19:43] nagi
    Don't mention it. I didn't really do much.
[19:47] kote
    So, let me say it one more time!
[19:49] haya
    What?
[19:50] kote
    Please move to Holland with me, where gay marriage is legal, and marry me, Ayasaki!
[19:57] nagi
    Are you brain-dead?!
[20:00] kote
    Wh-Why?
[20:04] nagi
    Hayate's body and soul belong to me!
[20:08] nagi
    I won't let a guy like you have even a strand of hair off his head! Jackass!
[20:11] kote
    But, wasn't it you who convinced me I was in love?
[20:18] nagi
    I'm mad now. We're going home, Hayate!
[20:20] haya
    What? B-But...
[20:22] haya
    I'm still under the curse of this Hina doll...
[20:27] nagi
    What?!
[20:29] nagi
    So, you plan on messing with my Hayate as well?!
[20:32] doll
    Er... um... sorry for intruding!
[20:43] nagi
    Why are you dawdling?! We're going home!
[20:46] haya
    Right!
[20:53] haya
    Man, I'm totally exhausted.
[20:57] haya
    I should just clear my mind and drift off to sleep.
[21:16] haya
    But I feel like I've forgotten something...
[21:23] haya
    I have!
[21:30] haya
    We were supposed to meet at nine.
[21:32] haya
    But it's eleven thirty already, so I doubt she'd still be...
[21:41] haya
    The door's open?
[21:43] haya
    Um, Hinagiku-san?
[22:11] haya
    Hinagiku-san?
[22:13] hina
    Huh? Ayasaki-kun?
[22:20] narr
    The lively festival has drawn to a close and the night is silent once again.
[22:26] narr
    In a deserted corner of the campus, a birthday party for just these two is about to begin.
[24:06] girl
    We got some great pictures tonight.
[24:08] girl
    Yeah, Hina-chan on stage and Hayata-kun cosplaying.
[24:11] risa
    But, we can't stop there!
[24:12] girl
    That's right. We still need "The City Girl vs. The Evil Governor".
[24:15] risa
    And for that sensual content, Isumi will step in!
[24:17] izu
    Wait, what?! No, no way!
[24:20] risa
    Oh you like it, don't you?! You love it!
[24:22] izu
    No, I don't!
[24:24] girl
    The next episode of Hayate the Combat Butler is entitled FEELING OF FREEDOM.
[24:27] girl
    That's where Hina-chan's birthday arc will be concluded.
[24:30] izu
    No, Mr. Governor, you mustn't!