Haganai

Yozora and Kodoka are social catastrophes at their school. In order to make friends with other misfits, they start the Neighbors Club. In no time, a third member joins the club: Sena, a popular girl who annoys Yozora to no end. If the girls can get past their rivalry, they might learn an important lesson: Sometimes the best friends are the friends you never even wanted.

Season 1

Season 1

1 - We Can't Make Any Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    Don't even joke about that!
[00:15] ---
    So then after that...
[00:18] ---
    Yes!
[00:21] ---
    If we don't hurry, she's gonna get mad at us!
[00:23] ---
    Wait for me!
[00:26] ---
    "Please keep the shoe cupboards clean."
[00:27] ---
    So you bought 'em!
[00:28] ---
    Yup yup. I've got new shoes.
[00:31] ---
    So I'm gonna be super-fast today!
[00:33] ---
    I'll leave you in the dust!
[00:34] ---
    Not a chance!
[00:36] ---
    Takayama Kate-sensei, please return
    to the faculty room as soon as possible.
[00:41] ---
    --This one made me cry a lot, too.
[00:41] ---
    --Repeating, Takayama Kate-sensei, please return...
[00:44] ---
    --Why is he in the library?
[00:46] ---
    You're late, freshmen!
[00:48] ---
    I'm sorry!
[00:50] ---
    Change and start running!
[00:51] ---
    Okayyy...
[00:52] ---
    Don't stretch out "okay"!
[00:54] ---
    Okayyy...
[00:55] ---
    What are you going to do now, Sena-sama?
[00:57] ---
    I brought the movie you
    were talking about last time.
[01:03] ---
    "Wind Instrument Club"
[01:04] ---
    What's wrong, Sena-sama?
[01:16] ---
    Forgot my gym uniform.
[01:20] ---
    How about going to that shop again today?
[01:22] ---
    I was gonna ask you the same thing...
[01:27] ---
    S-Sorry!
[01:33] ---
    That was scary!
[01:34] ---
    Miki-chan, are you all right?
[01:50] ---
    QUIVER
[01:51] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness*
[01:53] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:55] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:59] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:07] ---
    "Haganai"
[02:11] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[02:14] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[02:18] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[02:21] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[02:25] ---
    If a group of unlucky people gathered together,
[02:32] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[02:34] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[02:40] ---
    FIDGET
[02:41] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:43] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[02:45] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[02:48] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:52] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:57] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[03:01] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[03:04] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[03:08] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[03:12] ---
    "We Can't Make Any Friends"
[03:15] ---
    Man, Kyou-kun, you're always exaggerating...
[03:17] ---
    I'm serious! I'm telling you it's totally scary!
[03:24] ---
    --Don't tease me! It is not!
[03:26] ---
    --What? Whose voice is that?
[03:28] ---
    --Huh? It's my fault?
[03:29] ---
    --Talking on a cell?
[03:31] ---
    That's what you always say!
[03:34] ---
    --I know that girl...
[03:35] ---
    --I told you, it's not true!
[03:40] ---
    --She's in my class. Mikazuki... Yozora.
[03:43] ---
    --Right, right!
[03:44] ---
    But the Mikazuki I know
    doesn't laugh while talking like that.
[03:50] ---
    She always looks like she's in a lousy
    mood and projects an aura to match...
[03:55] ---
    --I've never seen her talking to anybody.
[03:56] ---
    --Really?!
[03:58] ---
    --And yet...
[03:59] ---
    --I'm happy if that's true.
[03:59] ---
    --Wait a second, she's not holding a cell phone!
[04:02] ---
    --Of course, I haven't thrown in the towel yet.
[04:07] ---
    --What does that mean? Who's she talking to?
[04:08] ---
    --But I don't think he's totally against it, right?
[04:10] ---
    --Is there actually somebody else in there?
[04:12] ---
    --I know that!
[04:14] ---
    --A girl talking to an invisible something
[04:14] ---
    --We've been friends a long time.
[04:16] ---
    --in an otherwise empty classroom at dusk...
[04:17] ---
    --Yeah...
[04:18] ---
    --Well, someday that day may come...
[04:19] ---
    --You know, that book I'm reading
[04:22] ---
    --starts with exactly this kind of situation.
[04:22] ---
    --I hope...
[04:25] ---
    I find out her secret
[04:28] ---
    and throw myself into a battle
    against "something not of this Earth."
[04:33] ---
    Then it develops that, uh...
[04:36] ---
    ...w-we fall in love...
[04:40] ---
    Now that you mention it,
    Tomo-chan, that time you--
[05:07] ---
    Her usual expression is back...
[05:10] ---
    But she was cute when she was laughing...
[05:14] ---
    What?!
[05:17] ---
    Um, can you...
[05:18] ---
    ...see ghosts and stuff like that?
[05:20] ---
    Huh? Ghosts don't exist!
[05:24] ---
    But you were talking to somebody--
[05:26] ---
    You were watching me?!
[05:36] ---
    I-I was just talking to my friend!
[05:39] ---
    My air friend!
[05:50] ---
    Air friend...?
[05:52] ---
    What's that?
[05:54] ---
    Exactly what I said.
[05:56] ---
    You've heard of "air guitar," right?
[05:58] ---
    She's that kind of friend.
[06:00] ---
    So... you pretend someone
    is there and talk to them?
[06:05] ---
    I'm not pretending! Tomo-chan exists.
[06:08] ---
    See, she's right here.
[06:10] ---
    Before, Tomo-chan and
    I were talking about this time
[06:12] ---
    we went to an amusement park in middle school
[06:15] ---
    and this group of guys was hitting on us,
[06:17] ---
    but I was imagining that one of
    them was a new, handsome teacher
[06:21] ---
    --and boy, did we--
[06:22] ---
    --You just said "imagining"!
[06:24] ---
    I did not! It really happened!
[06:27] ---
    How much of it really happened?
[06:30] ---
    I was in middle school...
[06:32] ---
    That's almost 100% fabrication!
[06:35] ---
    I at least wanted the part about
    going to an amusement park to be real!
[06:38] ---
    What would be fun about
    going to an amusement park alone?!
[06:41] ---
    You just admitted you were alone!
[06:43] ---
    Forget what I said.
[06:44] ---
    --Tomo-chan is really cute...
[06:46] ---
    --This girl's off her rocker.
[06:47] ---
    --If I went to an amusement park...
[06:48] ---
    --I'd better do something fast...
[06:48] ---
    --...I'm positive a man would come to me...
[06:50] ---
    ...so I'm just exercising self-control.
[06:52] ---
    What are you looking at me like that for?!
[06:54] ---
    Well, if you wanna talk to a friend,
[06:57] ---
    wouldn't you be better off making a real one?
[07:00] ---
    Not an air friend...
[07:02] ---
    One that actually exists.
[07:04] ---
    If I could do that, I wouldn't be here.
[07:08] ---
    No kidding.
[07:11] ---
    Now that I look at you, you're that
    new student who's always alone in class.
[07:16] ---
    It's been a month since I came here.
[07:18] ---
    Stop calling me the "new student."
[07:20] ---
    What's your name?
[07:22] ---
    Hasegawa Kodaka.
[07:25] ---
    Kodaka, you have no right to
    tell me anything about friends.
[07:29] ---
    Suddenly we're on a first-name basis?!
[07:31] ---
    A month has passed and
    you don't even have one friend.
[07:34] ---
    You're a lonely guy, Kodaka.
[07:36] ---
    Wha...?! I don't wanna hear that from
    somebody who made an "air friend"!
[07:39] ---
    You're making fun of Tomo-chan?!
[07:41] ---
    Tomo-chan is cute, smart...
[07:44] ---
    ...great at sports...
[07:46] ---
    ...kind, good at talking, and listening...
[07:49] ---
    And she...
[07:50] ---
    And she would never stab me in the back.
[07:59] ---
    I understand.
[08:00] ---
    There's nothing else I can do.
[08:02] ---
    I don't know how to make friends...
[08:07] ---
    I dunno how, either.
[08:09] ---
    You didn't have any friends at your old school?
[08:12] ---
    Sure I did.
[08:14] ---
    Do you still?
[08:15] ---
    --He said he would text me, but...
[08:15] ---
    --Come on, let's go!
[08:17] ---
    --Just a second!
[08:18] ---
    You probably just thought
    you were friends, Kodaka.
[08:21] ---
    Shut it.
[08:24] ---
    I've got it. How about paying
    someone to be your friend?
[08:28] ---
    That's just sad!
[08:31] ---
    Like 1,000 yen a week for
    spending time together at school...
[08:35] ---
    A lover's contract...
[08:36] ---
    No, a friendship contract...
[08:39] ---
    Well said.
[08:41] ---
    That's it exactly. A contract!
[08:44] ---
    How about just asking to be friends?
[08:48] ---
    I see that kind of thing on dramas
    and stuff, but I don't really get it.
[08:52] ---
    You ask someone to be friends,
    and the moment that person agrees,
[08:55] ---
    a friendship is suddenly formed?
[08:57] ---
    Even if you'd never spoken
    to each other before then?
[09:00] ---
    --What if you never even talk after getting approval?
[09:01] ---
    --Looking good out there.
[09:02] ---
    --You really shortened your time.
[09:03] ---
    --Can you still consider that person your friend?
[09:04] ---
    --Seriously?!
[09:05] ---
    --Yeah!
[09:06] ---
    Well, that kind of thing
    doesn't really suit me either.
[09:11] ---
    Besides, it's not like I need to have friends.
[09:17] ---
    "She's a lonely girl without any friends."
[09:20] ---
    I can't stand condescension.
[09:23] ---
    I see...
[09:25] ---
    I sorta get it.
[09:27] ---
    Certainly, people think
    having few friends is bad.
[09:32] ---
    But maybe that's not quite true.
[09:35] ---
    I'm fine being alone.
[09:37] ---
    Friendships at school...
    superficial friendliness is plenty for me.
[09:43] ---
    Even so...
[09:44] ---
    ...I'd like to have a real friend.
[09:53] ---
    What about clubs?
[09:55] ---
    No way.
[09:56] ---
    Why not?
[09:57] ---
    Right now, it's June of our second year.
[10:00] ---
    Club relationships have been long set.
[10:03] ---
    Nothing would be more embarrassing
[10:05] ---
    than joining a club alone after all this time.
[10:07] ---
    Well, sure, but...
[10:10] ---
    --I really didn't think you'd beat me!
[10:10] ---
    --If your only purpose is to make friends,
[10:12] ---
    --joining a club you have no interest in
[10:13] ---
    --Just shows you my true potential...
[10:14] ---
    --would only screw up their teamwork.
[10:15] ---
    You'd be a new club member
    without any particular talent.
[10:19] ---
    Who would welcome someone like that?
[10:22] ---
    To be sure...
[10:23] ---
    ...my motives aren't pure,
    and I've got no real talents.
[10:26] ---
    Worse, I might end up disturbing
    people who are already friends.
[10:29] ---
    That would suck...
[10:37] ---
    I've got it! A club!
[10:46] ---
    See you later, Kodaka!
[11:02] ---
    "One Month Earlier"
[11:08] ---
    "Sagarakita"
[11:09] ---
    You mean my hair?
[11:10] ---
    Yeah, my late mother,
[11:12] ---
    she was English, see...
[11:14] ---
    Oh, "half-blood"? Yeah, you could call me that.
[11:18] ---
    Thank you. I was heartbroken,
    but time heals all wounds...
[11:25] ---
    My dad had to go abroad for work,
[11:27] ---
    and on my first day here at
    St. Chronica's Academy in Tooyashi,
[11:31] ---
    I took the wrong bus and
    suddenly became way late.
[11:37] ---
    When I finally arrived at school,
[11:39] ---
    I was on the verge of tears.
[11:43] ---
    Compared to the crusading
    armies, Saladin's Islamic army was...
[11:50] ---
    Um... I'm...
[11:52] ---
    ...the transfer student...
[11:54] ---
    Uh... okay!
[11:55] ---
    ...Hasegawa... Kodaka!
[12:01] ---
    Osada-sensei...
[12:03] ---
    Did he attack her?
[12:04] ---
    What? Is he a delinquent?
[12:05] ---
    The new student?!
[12:07] ---
    Look at that hair!
[12:20] ---
    Textbook...
[12:24] ---
    H-Here...
[12:26] ---
    Thank...
[12:30] ---
    By the evening of my first day,
[12:32] ---
    the whole school had heard the rumor
[12:35] ---
    that I'd swiped the textbook
    of the girl sitting next to me.
[12:44] ---
    It's been a month since then,
[12:46] ---
    and I still haven't been able to
    redeem myself for that first-day failure.
[12:50] ---
    See you later, Kodaka!
[12:55] ---
    "Kodaka"...
[12:58] ---
    I haven't been called that for a long time...
[13:06] ---
    In algebraic equations of the
    nth degree, there's always a root.
[13:09] ---
    As a result, the root of n...
[13:14] ---
    The usual...
[13:17] ---
    ...Mikazuki.
[13:24] ---
    Kodaka, follow me.
[13:26] ---
    Mikazuki talked to him!
[13:28] ---
    To the new guy?!
[13:30] ---
    Wha...?! Hey!
[13:34] ---
    What's this about?
[13:35] ---
    I've gone through all the formalities.
[13:38] ---
    Formalities?
[13:39] ---
    To make a new club.
[13:41] ---
    Since joining a club that
    already exists won't work,
[13:44] ---
    I figured I'd make my own.
[13:47] ---
    Certainly...
[13:48] ---
    ...with a new club, social
    relationships can start afresh...
[13:52] ---
    ...but what kind of club would you make?
[14:02] ---
    The Neighbors Club!
[14:05] ---
    Neighbors Club?
[14:06] ---
    That's right.
[14:10] ---
    In compliance with God's instructions,
[14:12] ---
    we become neighbors with our
    fellow students, deepen that friendship,
[14:16] ---
    and, as occasion may require,
    sincerely work hard together.
[14:20] ---
    And an application like
    that is gonna go through?
[14:23] ---
    This school is softhearted.
[14:26] ---
    Throw "God's teachings" or
    whatever in there and they'll usually buy it.
[14:29] ---
    Religion's an easy sell, see?
[14:32] ---
    And what is this
    Neighbors Club actually gonna do?
[14:35] ---
    It's for making friends, of course.
[14:38] ---
    The point is to avoid those contemptuous,
[14:40] ---
    "she's a lonely girl without any friends" looks
[14:42] ---
    by loading up on shallow acquaintances,
[14:45] ---
    while keeping an eye out for those
    "true friends" you mentioned, Kodaka.
[14:48] ---
    Not what I pictured...
[14:51] ---
    Well, good luck.
[14:54] ---
    Why are you talking like you're
    not involved in it? You're a member!
[14:57] ---
    Huh?
[14:58] ---
    You left yesterday before I could get it to you,
[15:00] ---
    so I filled out your sign-up form myself.
[15:03] ---
    Thank me.
[15:04] ---
    As if!
[15:05] ---
    So without further ado,
    let's start our club activities...
[15:08] ---
    Member Kodaka!
[15:13] ---
    W-Wait!
[15:17] ---
    The chapel's common room.
[15:20] ---
    Are you sure it's okay to use it?
[15:22] ---
    The club adviser okayed it, so it's okay.
[15:25] ---
    And will this club adviser give
    guidance on the subject of making friends?
[15:29] ---
    That's out of the question.
[15:31] ---
    The club adviser is Sister Maria,
[15:33] ---
    who doesn't have any friends herself.
[15:35] ---
    Then why did she become our club adviser?
[15:38] ---
    I'm not good at talking to people
    who seem to have a lot of friends.
[15:42] ---
    You're somethin' else...
[15:44] ---
    So, we need to get more members.
[15:46] ---
    There we go!
[15:47] ---
    "We're looking for members!"
[15:48] ---
    What's this?
[15:49] ---
    Our poster.
[15:50] ---
    We're gonna put these up on
    bulletin boards all over the school.
[15:53] ---
    This?
[15:54] ---
    It doesn't give one clue
    about what the club does.
[15:57] ---
    You're not thinking, Kodaka.
[15:59] ---
    Try reading diagonally.
[16:01] ---
    Diagonally?
[16:03] ---
    "Friends wanted"...
[16:06] ---
    Get it?
[16:07] ---
    You stuck a crappy joke in there...
[16:09] ---
    It's not a joke.
[16:11] ---
    Anyone who's always on the lookout for friends
[16:13] ---
    is bound to spot the
    hidden sentence in that poster.
[16:17] ---
    But that's not all.
[16:19] ---
    I tried drawing a scene from that
    famous song, about making 100 friends
[16:24] ---
    and eating rice balls at the top of Mt. Fuji.
[16:26] ---
    Even if they don't catch the diagonal
    sentence, the drawing will clue them in.
[16:31] ---
    R-Really?
[16:34] ---
    All right, let's hang up the posters.
[16:38] ---
    Okay! Next.
[16:43] ---
    Hey, I don't wanna be friends with anyone
[16:45] ---
    whose sensibilities decode this poster.
[16:49] ---
    So you think your own
    sensibility is the arbiter...
[16:52] ---
    The world revolves around you, Kodaka...
[16:53] ---
    You should talk!
[16:57] ---
    This has been bugging me for
    a while. Quit saying, "You! You!"
[17:01] ---
    It rather ticks me off.
[17:02] ---
    G-Got it.
[17:04] ---
    Um, Mikazuki-san...
[17:07] ---
    Yozora! Just Yozora.
[17:10] ---
    Fine.
[17:12] ---
    Y-Yozo... ra...
[17:15] ---
    Hey, don't you have some sorta nickname?!
[17:18] ---
    If possible, I'd rather go with that...
[17:20] ---
    I do.
[17:21] ---
    I did.
[17:23] ---
    I did, but I'm not going to
    tell you what it was, Kodaka.
[17:25] ---
    Why not?
[17:27] ---
    Because only friends use
    nicknames with each other.
[17:32] ---
    Sorry I'm late!
[17:39] ---
    I'm beat...
[17:41] ---
    So! Starting tomorrow, we're
    going to begin our regular activities.
[17:44] ---
    I seriously doubt anyone who sees
    that poster will want to join the club...
[17:51] ---
    It seems a new member has shown up already.
[17:55] ---
    We just put the posters up!
[17:59] ---
    This is the Neighbors Club, right?
[18:00] ---
    I want to join...
[18:02] ---
    It's not!
[18:04] ---
    Y-Yozora!
[18:05] ---
    All right, let's begin.
[18:07] ---
    Wait a second! I think
    she wanted to join the club!
[18:10] ---
    Plus she's a girl, an ideal friend for you!
[18:15] ---
    What nonsense are you
    spouting, you blond Yankee?
[18:19] ---
    I've already got a best
    girlfriend, right, Tomo-chan?
[18:22] ---
    Oy...
[18:30] ---
    What's the idea of closing the door in my face?!
[18:32] ---
    I just wanna join the club...
[18:33] ---
    Die, Little Miss Perfect!
[18:40] ---
    Maybe you're acquaintances already...?
[18:42] ---
    She's no acquaintance of mine.
[18:44] ---
    That's Kashiwazaki Sena, class 2-3.
[18:47] ---
    She's the only daughter of the school president.
[18:50] ---
    Boys are always fawning all over her.
[18:53] ---
    She's a nasty princess wannabe.
[18:56] ---
    So that's the president's daughter...
[18:58] ---
    Good grief!
[19:00] ---
    All it takes is blond hair
    and a huge set of knockers
[19:01] ---
    to make guys fawn all over her!
[19:03] ---
    Repulsive!
[19:04] ---
    No, that's not what I'm interested...
[19:07] ---
    Glamorous looks,
[19:09] ---
    great at all sports, outstanding grades...
[19:12] ---
    She's been at the top of the class
    since last year, in every single exam!
[19:15] ---
    What's with this real-lifer?!
[19:17] ---
    I wish she'd croak!
[19:20] ---
    She really needs help...
[19:25] ---
    What is that?
[19:30] ---
    Why are you being so mean to me?!
[19:32] ---
    I told you I'd join your club!
[19:36] ---
    If you're just coming to check it out, I refuse!
[19:38] ---
    I'm not here to check it out!
[19:39] ---
    I saw your poster that said you wanted friends!
[19:42] ---
    I want friends, too!
[19:53] ---
    I am perfect, right?
[19:55] ---
    I'm smart, great at sports...
[19:58] ---
    ...and beautiful, as you can see.
[20:00] ---
    You call vulgar cow udders beautiful?!
[20:02] ---
    Oh, did Flat-as-an-Ironing-Board say something?
[20:05] ---
    I'm not especially flat!
[20:07] ---
    A pair of tangerines looks just about the same
[20:09] ---
    as having nothing, don't you agree?
[20:11] ---
    If I murdered all women
    who had larger breasts than me,
[20:14] ---
    I would then have a
    relatively large rack, wouldn't I?
[20:16] ---
    Would you like to become the
    glorious first sacrifice in my lofty plan?
[20:21] ---
    Um...
[20:22] ---
    About "wanting friends"...
[20:24] ---
    That's right.
[20:26] ---
    You're always surrounded by men!
[20:28] ---
    They're just servants.
[20:31] ---
    What I want are friends.
[20:33] ---
    Especially of the same sex.
[20:34] ---
    So, when groups are formed
    in home ec or the school trip,
[20:38] ---
    I'll have friends I can be with.
[20:40] ---
    "You're popular with the boys, so
    why don't you make a group with them?"
[20:43] ---
    I don't want anyone
    saying that to me ever again!
[20:46] ---
    I need friends!
[20:48] ---
    Come to think of it, I've heard
    girls can be unkind to other girls
[20:51] ---
    who are too popular and good in school.
[20:54] ---
    You're pretty sharp for a Yankee!
[20:57] ---
    I'll step on you, so get down on your knees.
[20:59] ---
    Why would I want you to step on me?!
[21:03] ---
    The boys in my class love that.
[21:06] ---
    Don't tell me you're arrogantly
    looking for more than that?!
[21:09] ---
    You pervert!
[21:10] ---
    I'm not a Yankee or a pervert!
[21:18] ---
    What are you looking at?!
[21:19] ---
    Look, this is perfect, right?
[21:22] ---
    This way, you can both make a friend.
[21:26] ---
    Huh?!
[21:27] ---
    Why would I want to be
    friends with someone like her?!
[21:31] ---
    I don't wanna be friends
    with someone like her, either!
[21:34] ---
    --What do you mean by that, Boob Girl?!
[21:35] ---
    --It's your first meeting!
[21:36] ---
    --Why do you two hate each other so much?!
[21:36] ---
    --No, what do you mean by that, slant-eyes?!
[21:39] ---
    You've got slanted eyes, too!
[21:41] ---
    --My slant eyes are cute...
[21:42] ---
    --Wanna stop for something to eat?
[21:43] ---
    --Yours look like a fox's!
[21:44] ---
    --Yours look like a fox's!
[21:44] ---
    --How about the Mof in front of the station?
[21:45] ---
    --Why don't you die?
[21:46] ---
    You're the one that should die!
[21:48] ---
    In fact, just get out of here.
[21:50] ---
    I'm joining this club!
[21:52] ---
    I've already decided!
[21:54] ---
    Shut up! Get out!
[21:55] ---
    Why don't you get out?!
[21:57] ---
    This is the first day of the Neighbors Club.
[21:59] ---
    One person joined, putting it at three members.
[22:02] ---
    If the results were written down,
    it'd look like things were going smoothly...
[22:05] ---
    ...which would be a mistake...
[22:07] ---
    Hey, I rented a drama
    last night and it was hilarious!
[22:11] ---
    Ooh, what was it?
[22:12] ---
    The heroine thinks these people are her friends,
[22:15] ---
    but they're actually just the opposite.
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable*
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:58] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:02] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:49] ---
    "Sparkling School Life"
[23:50] ---
    And these two continued.
[23:52] ---
    You've got a lousy personality!
[23:55] ---
    It's better than having
    a defective brain like you!
[23:57] ---
    I'm at the top of our class!
[23:58] ---
    Oh, how wonderful! You know
    how to study, Cow Udders!
[24:02] ---
    Bitch! Daddy will expel you if I ask him to!
[24:05] ---
    Aren't you embarrassed, saying
    "Mommy" and "Daddy" at your age?
[24:09] ---
    Why don't you quit this club?
[24:11] ---
    This is my club!
[24:12] ---
    Since when did it become your club?
[24:14] ---
    "Next time: There's No God in the Electric World."
[24:14] ---
    Next time: "There's No God in the Electric World."
[24:17] ---
    That's the only thing you agree about?

Season 1

2 - There's No God in the Electric World

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    You're here? It's about time...
[00:16] ---
    Um... Kashiwazaki...?
[00:18] ---
    Call me "Sena"!
[00:21] ---
    You call that fox woman
    by her first name, don't you?
[00:24] ---
    If you use my family name, it's like
    I take second place in your head.
[00:29] ---
    Got it...
[00:31] ---
    S-Sena...
[00:40] ---
    Let's begin the Neighbors Club activity.
[00:42] ---
    Hey, Mikazu--
[00:44] ---
    It's Yozora!
[00:47] ---
    Yo... zora...
[00:50] ---
    Hey, what is our club activity?
[00:53] ---
    I mean, there's no way
    we can simply make friends...
[00:56] ---
    Video games are one way to make friends!
[01:09] ---
    WANAWANA
[01:10] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[01:12] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:14] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[01:18] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:27] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:30] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[01:33] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:37] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[01:40] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:44] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[01:51] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[01:53] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[02:00] ---
    SOWASOWA
[02:00] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:02] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[02:04] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:07] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[02:11] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[02:16] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[02:20] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:23] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:27] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[02:31] ---
    "There's No God in the Electric World"
[02:33] ---
    I'm telling you, only kids
    would be taken in by that!
[02:37] ---
    You're naïve, Kodaka.
    The majority of recent games… are on this!
[02:42] ---
    Playing States Portable.
[02:44] ---
    PSP, right? My little sister has one, too.
[02:47] ---
    When I went to a family
    restaurant by myself last night...
[02:50] ---
    You went to a family restaurant alone?!
[02:51] ---
    Shut up!
[02:54] ---
    There were four high school
    students at the table behind me
[02:57] ---
    who were having a good time playing this.
[02:59] ---
    "Monster Hunting Portable"
[03:01] ---
    Oh, Monster Hunting, huh?
[03:03] ---
    You know it?
[03:04] ---
    It's an action game where you hunt
    monsters and animals in a fantasy world.
[03:08] ---
    In this game, you can play
    cooperatively with other people.
[03:12] ---
    If you're good, other players
    will come to depend on you,
[03:14] ---
    and while playing, you can become friends.
[03:17] ---
    You can exchange items too, and
    it's easy to make opportunities to talk.
[03:22] ---
    In other words, our club activity
    will be building our skill at this game...
[03:25] ---
    --...getting items...
[03:26] ---
    --Hey!
[03:26] ---
    --Don't touch it! You'll leave a smudge!
[03:26] ---
    --...and then trying to make friends?
[03:28] ---
    I'm not that oily!
[03:30] ---
    --Shut up, Fatty Meat!
[03:30] ---
    --Are they even listening?
[03:32] ---
    And so, next Monday,
    bring a PSP and Monster Hunting.
[03:37] ---
    O-Okay...
[03:42] ---
    And so, the following Monday...
[03:46] ---
    You've practiced using the
    controls and everything, right?
[03:48] ---
    Yeah.
[03:49] ---
    I was busy, but I fiddled with it a little bit.
[03:53] ---
    Although it's just a game. Kid's stuff...
[03:57] ---
    Kodaka and Milk Cow, what are your ranks?
[03:59] ---
    Still at one...
[04:01] ---
    I haven't been able to
    take down any of the enemies.
[04:04] ---
    I'm three.
[04:05] ---
    Three?! Wow!
[04:07] ---
    I'm six!
[04:09] ---
    Six?!
[04:10] ---
    That's the top rank!
[04:13] ---
    Guess I'm a prodigy even when it comes
    to video games. How perfect can I get?!
[04:17] ---
    I thought you said
    you'd only played it a little...
[04:20] ---
    How much time did you spend on it?
[04:22] ---
    H-Hardly any time at all!
[04:25] ---
    Let me see your playing time, Meat!
[04:27] ---
    Hey!
[04:28] ---
    I didn't give you permission to look!
[04:30] ---
    "Playing Time: 53 hours, 27 minutes"
[04:30] ---
    What?! 53 hours?!
[04:33] ---
    And the outfit is cute...
[04:35] ---
    Too cocky for half-baked Meat!
[04:40] ---
    Oww!
[04:42] ---
    What do you think you're doing?!
[04:44] ---
    Hey!
[04:45] ---
    You've got bags under your eyes...
[04:50] ---
    I-I do not!
[04:53] ---
    After we went home on Friday, you
    spent the whole weekend playing, didn't you?!
[04:58] ---
    A-A bobcat always devotes
    itself to whatever it's doing,
[05:01] ---
    even if it's just Monster Hunting!
[05:03] ---
    A boobcat?
[05:04] ---
    Bobcat!
[05:05] ---
    Oh...
[05:06] ---
    Cryin' out loud!
[05:08] ---
    Okay, let's start the game. I'll host.
[05:11] ---
    I'll let you two warm up by taking
    on an easygoing quest, so get ready.
[05:15] ---
    When all's said and done, she's
    making a serious effort for this club.
[05:19] ---
    Okay, let's go!
[05:36] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[05:38] ---
    What's with that get-up?!
[05:40] ---
    What do you expect?! I'm still a beginner!
[05:42] ---
    It's not the equipment,
    but the entire character!
[05:45] ---
    It's sad how much it doesn't
    resemble you in the slightest.
[05:49] ---
    Does this mean you wanna be a
    long-haired foreigner like that, Kodaka?
[05:52] ---
    And your character name,
    "Hawk," talk about cheesy!
[05:55] ---
    Leave me alone!
[05:56] ---
    This is a game, so it can be
    a little bit different from reality!
[05:59] ---
    A little bit?!
[06:02] ---
    All right, let's go hunting!
[06:12] ---
    --Let's go hunting for the boss right away!
[06:12] ---
    --Cut it out!
[06:17] ---
    Where should we go first?
[06:26] ---
    "Night has lost all her might."
[06:28] ---
    Huh?! What the hell was that, Meat?
[06:31] ---
    Oopsie! I goofed up with the controls.
[06:35] ---
    Now pull yourself together
    so we can go hunting.
[06:39] ---
    Could a rank six player really
    make a mistake like that...?
[06:43] ---
    Don't tell me she spent tens of
    hours of playing for that moment?!
[06:48] ---
    Well, I can't blame you for
    making a mistake with the controls...
[06:51] ---
    Shall we go?
[07:00] ---
    There!
[07:09] ---
    What the hell was that about?!
[07:11] ---
    Whoops. I pushed the wrong button.
[07:13] ---
    You were clearly aiming at me!
[07:16] ---
    I was not. I wish you would stop
    with your incessant false accusations!
[07:22] ---
    You dirty, lowdown...
[07:23] ---
    Hey, here it comes!
[07:32] ---
    I'll easily kick this guy's ass!
[07:39] ---
    It'll be a hundred years before
    some lizard can stand up to me...
[07:48] ---
    K-Knockout drug?!
[08:04] ---
    Hey, Yozora...
[08:06] ---
    Kaboom!
[08:10] ---
    "Objective achieved."
[08:13] ---
    "Quest Completed"
[08:14] ---
    Yes! I killed it!
[08:16] ---
    What?!
[08:17] ---
    I was trying to give you backup,
    but used a little too much force. Sorry.
[08:22] ---
    You were obviously targeting me!
[08:24] ---
    Look, this is co-op play,
    so cooperate, would ya?!
[08:28] ---
    You're right.
[08:30] ---
    On the next hunt, I'll cooperate even more.
[08:32] ---
    I'll seriously cooperate, too!
[08:35] ---
    Brace yourself.
[08:37] ---
    And after that, the true hunting began...
[08:45] ---
    It's disgusting to see meat moving around.
[08:47] ---
    I'm gonna turn you into ground meat.
[08:49] ---
    Talk about "trash talk"...
[08:52] ---
    Now hold still and let me hunt you!
[08:54] ---
    Silence, Meat!
[08:56] ---
    Shut up, stupid fox!
[09:20] ---
    Dogrite! Lucky!
[09:26] ---
    Act like the trash you are and lick my boots!
[09:30] ---
    Shut your mouth and die, Meat!
[09:40] ---
    H-Help me!!
[09:45] ---
    Sorry. I died...
[09:49] ---
    I only really feel alive
    when I'm killing someone!
[09:52] ---
    I'm gonna rip out your intestines and
    cram 'em down your throat, stupid fox!
[09:55] ---
    Die!
[09:56] ---
    --Don't duck, idiot!
[09:56] ---
    --Become minced meat!
[10:03] ---
    "Your time is up."
[10:06] ---
    "Quest Failed"
[10:11] ---
    I guess video games aren't a good idea.
[10:14] ---
    We were just wasting time.
[10:16] ---
    And I don't like that portable
    game systems these days
[10:19] ---
    are all about multiplayer games.
[10:21] ---
    Why should I have to play
    the game with other people?
[10:24] ---
    Then what was the point
    of today's club activity?!
[10:26] ---
    Exactly.
[10:28] ---
    Something's wrong when you
    have to worry about other people,
[10:31] ---
    even in some game world!
[10:32] ---
    Totally!
[10:35] ---
    When have you two ever
    worried about somebody else?
[10:40] ---
    N-Nothing.
[10:46] ---
    Where should we stop in today?
[10:47] ---
    Let's see...
[10:51] ---
    How was Monster Hunting last night?
[10:52] ---
    I took down Jinrou, but it
    didn't bring down any imperial wrath.
[10:56] ---
    Even though I've got plenty of tail...
[10:58] ---
    All right!
[11:00] ---
    If you've got extra loot, share it with me!
[11:02] ---
    Okay.
[11:03] ---
    H-Hey...
[11:09] ---
    I'm playing Monster Hunting too, see...
[11:12] ---
    If you've got "Dosjagira's Scarf,"
[11:15] ---
    would you trade me something for it?
[11:17] ---
    Of course!
[11:19] ---
    I-Is there anything else you could use?!
[11:21] ---
    I'll give you anything!
[11:23] ---
    Really? I'd appreciate it!
[11:26] ---
    By the following day, a rumor
    had spread through the whole class
[11:31] ---
    that I pulled a shakedown
    in our room in broad daylight.
[11:45] ---
    What's that?
[11:46] ---
    Ignorant, as expected of a Yankee.
[11:48] ---
    They're two modern conveniences
    known as a TV and a Playing States system.
[11:52] ---
    They run on electricity.
[11:53] ---
    What do you think I am, a barbarian?
[11:55] ---
    I meant, what are they doing in the club room?
[11:57] ---
    They're here so we can play a game, duh!
[12:00] ---
    How the hell did you get that TV in here?
[12:03] ---
    I mean, why bother bringing
    it all the way to school?
[12:07] ---
    This time, it isn't a crap
    game like Monster Hunting,
[12:09] ---
    but one that looked useful to the club,
    so I took the trouble to bring it here.
[12:14] ---
    Be grateful, you pieces of trash.
[12:15] ---
    Silence, Meat. You'll make my coffee go bad.
[12:19] ---
    I never gave you permission
    to use the tea set I brought over!
[12:25] ---
    Sparkling School Life... 7?
[12:28] ---
    Is that one of those so-called "gal games"?
[12:30] ---
    It's a game that's a
    perfect fit for our club, right?
[12:33] ---
    True, it could be good for
    conversation skill practice.
[12:37] ---
    But isn't this aimed at guys?
[12:39] ---
    I'm sure there are games aimed more at girls,
[12:41] ---
    where you try to befriend good-looking men...
[12:43] ---
    Huh? What's the point of
    making friends with guys?
[12:47] ---
    So it's like that, huh?
[12:52] ---
    "Sparkling School Life 7."
[12:52] ---
    "Sparkling School Life 7"
[13:00] ---
    "Start from the beginning"
[13:02] ---
    "Name"
[13:03] ---
    Ka... Ka... Kashi... wazaki...
[13:07] ---
    Hey, Meat! What's the idea of using your name?!
[13:11] ---
    Excuse me?!
[13:11] ---
    Since I'm the public face of this
    club, you should put in my name.
[13:15] ---
    And when exactly did you become
    the face of this club, stupid fox?!
[13:18] ---
    Hey, the main character is a guy,
    so how about using my name?
[13:22] ---
    Forget about it!
[13:22] ---
    The only time you two are in harmony...
[13:25] ---
    Well, Sena's the one who brought the game here,
[13:28] ---
    so shouldn't we use her name?
[13:31] ---
    Fine, whatever.
[13:33] ---
    Kodaka understands.
[13:34] ---
    Let's see, Kashiwazaki Se... Se... Se...
[13:39] ---
    I changed my mind.
[13:43] ---
    There.
[13:44] ---
    For crying out loud! What are you doing, stupid?
[13:46] ---
    "My name is Kashiwazaki Semoponume."
[13:49] ---
    What's "Semoponume"?!
[13:51] ---
    I think it's a nice name.
[13:54] ---
    Why don't you change your real name to that?
[13:56] ---
    After all, the name "Sena" makes me
    sick to my stomach every time I say it.
[14:00] ---
    "Yo, Semoponume!"
[14:04] ---
    "This guy's name is Suzuki Masaru.
    We've been best friends since middle school."
[14:08] ---
    What the hell?! He already has a best friend?!
[14:11] ---
    And he's got the balls to
    say he still wants friends?!
[14:15] ---
    Kodaka, that's a scary look!
[14:17] ---
    Or more like gross!
[14:19] ---
    "The best way to lead
    a fulfilling high school life
[14:21] ---
    is to get cozy with a cute girl!"
[14:24] ---
    You're a player, but you do
    know what you're talking about.
[14:27] ---
    I mean, that's exactly
    the kind of friend I want!
[14:37] ---
    "Nice to meet you. I'm Fujibayashi Akari.
[14:41] ---
    I was nervous about starting at a new school,
[14:44] ---
    but I'm relieved to sit next to such a nice guy.
[14:46] ---
    Let's be friends, okay, Kashiwazaki-kun?"
[14:51] ---
    "1) 'Nice to meet you, Akari-chan!'"
[14:52] ---
    Oh, you choose how the guy answers...
[14:55] ---
    Number 3!
[14:56] ---
    Why 3?!
[14:57] ---
    "3) 'What a pushy broad. Get lost!'"
[14:57] ---
    It's the most unlikely one!
[14:59] ---
    There's no way you can trust a girl
[15:01] ---
    who suddenly starts chatting
    to some guy she doesn't know
[15:03] ---
    on the first day of school!
[15:05] ---
    Yep. I'm sure she says the same
    exact thing to all of the guys in class.
[15:10] ---
    Aw, come on. She looks
    like a serious girl, doesn't she?
[15:14] ---
    That's what she looks like
    now, but she's really a bitch.
[15:17] ---
    There's one in every class.
[15:19] ---
    A girl who looks pure and innocent,
[15:21] ---
    but is actually running
    around with all the guys.
[15:23] ---
    There's someone like that in our class?
[15:25] ---
    I'm sure.
[15:26] ---
    It says on the Net that high school girls are all bitches these days.
[15:30] ---
    You're one of those
    "high school girls these days," too...
[15:33] ---
    Okay, so we agree on number 3.
[15:37] ---
    "What a pushy broad. Get lost!"
[15:40] ---
    "S-Sorry, Kashiwazaki-kun.
[15:43] ---
    As it is our first time meeting,
    I may have been too forward...
[15:47] ---
    I'll be more careful from now on,
    so I hope you're not mad at me."
[15:53] ---
    I'm sorry, Fujibayashi-san.
[15:57] ---
    Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
[16:02] ---
    So it looks like you choose your actions,
[16:05] ---
    and if you meet the right parameters,
    you'll encounter girls, right?
[16:07] ---
    It's a rough world for guys
[16:09] ---
    who don't even have enough
    merit to go out with a girl.
[16:12] ---
    Just like reality.
[16:14] ---
    Anyway, having low test
    scores is out of the question.
[16:17] ---
    Let's start with having him study.
[16:19] ---
    Good idea. I hate guys
    who are cerebrally challenged.
[16:24] ---
    The more he studies, the smarter he gets?
[16:27] ---
    How stupid was this guy at the beginning?
[16:30] ---
    Well, it is a game...
[16:33] ---
    Somebody's here.
[16:38] ---
    "Oh, sorry..."
[16:41] ---
    "2) Say 'I had this book first!, '
    take it, and walk away."
[16:42] ---
    Another choice?
[16:44] ---
    I'm sure they'll go with 2...
[16:46] ---
    Which one are you gonna do?
[16:47] ---
    1!
[16:50] ---
    Why?!
[16:50] ---
    Instead of reading books, you'd better
    use your time to study, Semoponume.
[16:54] ---
    I'm aiming for a 200 in
    academic ability by the next test,
[16:58] ---
    so don't you slack off, trash!
[17:00] ---
    Of course...
[17:04] ---
    "No, I'm sorry."
[17:07] ---
    "Thank you!
[17:09] ---
    Um, if you don't mind, may I have your name?"
[17:13] ---
    "Sure. I'm Kashiwazaki
    Semoponume from class D."
[17:18] ---
    "Kashiwazaki Semoponume-san...
[17:20] ---
    That's a nice name."
[17:22] ---
    What terrible taste...
[17:24] ---
    It's scary...
[17:26] ---
    "You are now able to ask
    Nagata Yukiko out on a date."
[17:28] ---
    For now, I'm thinking of
    being friends with this girl.
[17:31] ---
    Do you have a problem with that?
[17:32] ---
    She's a lot better than that Fujibayashi bitch.
[17:35] ---
    Go ahead.
[17:52] ---
    "Yukiko..."
[17:56] ---
    "Yes?"
[17:59] ---
    This girl is so cute!
[18:00] ---
    Really cute!
[18:02] ---
    There's nothing better
    than having a girl adore you!
[18:06] ---
    She's actually a nice girl.
[18:27] ---
    "Yukiko. Let's walk home together."
[18:31] ---
    "No."
[18:33] ---
    "I'm sorry!"
[18:37] ---
    W-Why?! What's wrong, Yukiko?
[18:40] ---
    I guess this was the reason
    Nagata Yukiko suddenly became cold...
[18:44] ---
    What do you mean?!
[18:45] ---
    Every time you meet Fujibayashi-san,
    you've treated her like dirt, right?
[18:49] ---
    When one girl hates you,
    she spreads unfavorable rumors
[18:52] ---
    which cause a chain reaction,
[18:54] ---
    making all the other girls
    get a bad impression of you.
[18:56] ---
    In other words, Yukiko
    doesn't like me anymore
[18:58] ---
    because Fujibayashi has been going around
[19:00] ---
    bad-mouthing me all over the school, huh?!
[19:03] ---
    That rotten bitch!
[19:04] ---
    I don't think that's how it happened...
[19:06] ---
    It says here, "If you get a bad reputation,
    quickly apologize and make up."
[19:10] ---
    Huh?! Why do I have to
    apologize to that frickin' bitch?!
[19:15] ---
    "Make up," my ass! I don't remember
    ever being on friendly terms with that sow!
[19:19] ---
    I agree!
[19:21] ---
    It's not our fault!
[19:23] ---
    By no means should we bow
    down to that stupid woman
[19:26] ---
    who started talking to us
    and got hurt on her own!
[19:29] ---
    We agree, huh?
[19:31] ---
    I'm definitely not caving on this one.
[19:33] ---
    And I'm sure Yukiko will understand
    that it's all a misunderstanding!
[19:38] ---
    Yeah!
[19:39] ---
    "1) Give up on Yukiko."
    "2) Believe in Yukiko!"
[19:52] ---
    Yukiko, I...
[19:54] ---
    I'm sorry!
[19:56] ---
    Goodbye!
[19:57] ---
    Wait!
[20:11] ---
    I-I had faith in Yukiko...
[20:15] ---
    Seriously? How emotionally
    involved is she in this game?
[20:20] ---
    Hey! Where are you going?
[20:22] ---
    I'm gonna kill Fujibayashi Akari!
[20:27] ---
    A-Are you okay?
[20:29] ---
    Yukiko!!
[20:37] ---
    Good morning!
[20:41] ---
    Kodaka! Kodaka!
[20:43] ---
    Over here!
[20:47] ---
    Here!
[20:54] ---
    I'm letting you borrow that,
    so use it as soon as you get home!
[20:57] ---
    The third-year event with
    Fujibayashi Akari is especially moving!
[21:02] ---
    You're the one who kept calling
    Fujibayashi Akari a bitch and a sow yesterday!
[21:07] ---
    Don't talk like that about Akari!
[21:09] ---
    Huh?
[21:10] ---
    Listen, Akari has been all on her own
    since she lost both her parents as a kid.
[21:15] ---
    She's been through a lot!
[21:17] ---
    And yet, she doesn't hold
    a grudge against the world,
[21:19] ---
    but shares a warm smile with everyone.
[21:22] ---
    Is that right?
[21:23] ---
    Also! Make sure you capture Yukiko!
[21:26] ---
    Actually, Aina, Miho, Natsumi, Mizuki, Karen...
[21:30] ---
    They're all good girls!
[21:32] ---
    After going home yesterday,
    you conquered all of them?!
[21:35] ---
    Of course!
[21:36] ---
    You'd definitely better watch
    the endings of all of them, too!
[21:39] ---
    Got it?!
[21:41] ---
    Well, I'll try it, if I'm in the mood...
[21:44] ---
    Not good enough! Do it,
    whether you're in the mood or not!
[21:47] ---
    It's your duty.
[21:49] ---
    Sparkling School is a work
    that all people should play!
[21:52] ---
    It's not just a game!
[21:54] ---
    In a word, it's...
[21:56] ---
    ...life, I suppose.
[22:00] ---
    Oh, no! Class is gonna start!
[22:06] ---
    You'd better do it!
[22:09] ---
    Uh oh!
[22:12] ---
    Neighbors Club Record:
[22:14] ---
    Sena became friends with seven girls.
[22:18] ---
    Two-dimensional girls...
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:42] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:58] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:51] ---
    Meat, did you know?
[23:52] ---
    If you clear a "gal game"
[23:53] ---
    in the middle of the night,
    you'll be brainwashed by it.
[23:57] ---
    Seriously?!
[23:57] ---
    People whose brainwaves
    are controlled by gal games
[24:00] ---
    lose their normal sense of judgment
[24:02] ---
    and aren't able to make any friends, it's said!
[24:04] ---
    Stop it!
[24:04] ---
    On top of that, their hair
    turns a stupid blond color,
[24:06] ---
    the fat around their chest
    increases, and they turn into cows!
[24:09] ---
    Is that true?!
[24:11] ---
    Of course it's a lie!
[24:12] ---
    Yozora, you're an idiot!
[24:13] ---
    You're the idiot!
[24:15] ---
    Next time: "There are No
    Flags at the Swimming Pool."
[24:15] ---
    "Next time: There are No
    Flags at the Swimming Pool."
[24:17] ---
    Why "pool"?

Season 1

3 - There Are No Flags at the Swimming Pool

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    Yo!
[00:15] ---
    Sena...
[00:17] ---
    Damn Meat... She has some
    nerve ignoring me...
[00:22] ---
    I was the one who got ignored...
[00:26] ---
    No!!
[00:28] ---
    I-It feels so good!
[00:31] ---
    Hey! What are you doing,
    Yozora?! Let go of me!
[00:35] ---
    --W-What is this?!
[00:36] ---
    --What are you holding my arms for?!
[00:38] ---
    Hey! Stupid Yozora!
[00:41] ---
    It's coming! I'm going to lose my mind!
[00:46] ---
    Something's coming! I-It's coming!
[00:58] ---
    QUIVER
[00:59] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness
[01:01] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:03] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:07] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[01:16] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:19] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[01:22] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:26] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[01:29] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:33] ---
    If a group of unlucky
    people gathered together,
[01:40] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[01:42] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[01:49] ---
    FIDGET
[01:49] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[01:51] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[01:53] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[01:56] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:00] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:05] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:09] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:12] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[02:16] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[02:20] ---
    "There are No Flags at the Swimming Pool"
[02:20] ---
    Ow!
[02:21] ---
    Yes!
[02:23] ---
    Jeez! What are you doing, idiot?!
[02:25] ---
    Th-That's my line!
[02:28] ---
    In the holy club room! Have you no shame?
[02:30] ---
    D-Don't get the wrong idea!
[02:32] ---
    This is *The Sacred Blackstar,
    currently the most popular bishoujo game,
[02:37] ---
    and it's a moving, romantic
    fantasy adventure!
[02:40] ---
    The protagonist, Lucas,
    has overcome great trials,
[02:43] ---
    defeated Valniball, the God of
    Destruction, and in this moving scene,
[02:47] ---
    he and the heroine, Cecilia the knight,
    confirm their love for each other.
[02:50] ---
    It's definitely not just some smutty scene!
[02:53] ---
    Still, an eroge in the club room...
    
[02:55] ---
    I-I didn't know!
[02:57] ---
    After finishing Sparkling School
    I was searching for an interesting game,
[03:01] ---
    and when I asked for advice on the Net,
[03:02] ---
    I was told this was the
    hottest game right now.
[03:05] ---
    Then I asked a boy in class to get it,
[03:08] ---
    and he was more than happy to bring it, so...
[03:10] ---
    You pervert!
[03:12] ---
    Did you hear a word I just said?!
[03:14] ---
    Clam it, nympho!
[03:15] ---
    Jezebel!
[03:16] ---
    Exhibitionist!
[03:17] ---
    Hussy!
[03:18] ---
    Walking public toilet!
[03:19] ---
    Real Dutch wife!
[03:21] ---
    Walking obscenity!
[03:23] ---
    Stay away from me! Don't
    touch me! You'll get me pregnant!
[03:25] ---
    Why do I have to be subjected to
    your abuse just for playing a game?!
[03:28] ---
    Certainly, this game includes
    some graphic depictions,
[03:32] ---
    but that's only one part of it!
[03:35] ---
    This is a profound tale
    with heavy-hitting themes
[03:39] ---
    that your literature can't hold a candle to!
[03:41] ---
    In other words, it's a work of art!
[03:44] ---
    You say that, when your eyes
    were glued to that raunchy scene...
[03:47] ---
    Be honest and admit you're a pervert!
[03:50] ---
    I-I'm not! I just wanted
    to be friends with Cecilia!
[03:54] ---
    My feelings for Cecilia are pure!
[03:58] ---
    --Take this scene! This scene, naturally,
[03:59] ---
    --Don't show me that, pervert!
[04:01] ---
    isn't dirty in the least, whatsoever!
[04:04] ---
    Now that's a stretch...
[04:06] ---
    I feel sorry for you,
[04:08] ---
    for looking at this wonderful
    piece of art through leering eyes!
[04:11] ---
    In that case, Meat, try
    reading that scene out loud!
[04:16] ---
    If it's an unobjectionable work
    of art, you should be able to do so
[04:19] ---
    without the slightest bit of embarrassment.
[04:21] ---
    Right?
[04:22] ---
    Of course!
[04:23] ---
    B-But I get a little nervous
    reading out loud in front of people...
[04:28] ---
    In that case, I'll read, too.
[04:31] ---
    Yozora?
[04:32] ---
    I'll do a dramatic reading
    too, but you go first.
[04:36] ---
    Unless it's something else?
[04:37] ---
    Perhaps that game isn't art after all...
[04:41] ---
    I bet the game's heroine is
    nothing more than a cheap sex doll.
[04:46] ---
    Nobody talks like that about Cecilia!
[04:49] ---
    Fine! You wanna go there, we'll go there!
[04:52] ---
    Ready? Start!
[04:53] ---
    "L-Lucas, quickly... cleave my...
[04:59] ---
    ...naughty Valniball..."
[05:00] ---
    With a louder voice!
[05:03] ---
    "...m-my naughty Valniball...
[05:06] ---
    ...w-with your big, gleaming, black...
[05:11] ---
    ...sacred sword."
[05:13] ---
    "You want my sacred sword that badly?
[05:17] ---
    Cecilia, you really are
    a randy sow, aren't you?"
[05:21] ---
    "D-Don't be mean, Lucas!"
[05:25] ---
    "Hmph, look at your greedy expression.
[05:28] ---
    Come on, sow.
[05:30] ---
    If you want this, try
    asking me more politely."
[05:36] ---
    "P-Please, Master!
[05:39] ---
    Y-Your dirty-minded servant... begs you to...
[05:44] ---
    ...insert your sacred sword here..."
[05:48] ---
    "Not 'sacred sword.' Say the proper name."
[05:56] ---
    What's wrong? Go on, say it!
[05:59] ---
    "Lucas, I want your...
[06:03] ---
    ...in my hungry p-p-p...."
[06:08] ---
    Like I can say that, moron!
[06:13] ---
    Yozora, you idiot! Moron! Scum! Drop dead!
[06:16] ---
    I think you went overboard.
[06:18] ---
    By the way, I was secretly
    recording Meat's recitation.
[06:22] ---
    Do you think I should put it to
    good use and upload it to some site?
[06:25] ---
    Are you a devil?!
[06:27] ---
    I'm kidding.
[06:30] ---
    Oh.
[06:31] ---
    I promised too, didn't I?
[06:34] ---
    To read aloud from a work of art...
[06:37] ---
    "Upon the filthy sorrow, the
    snow lightly falls again today.
[06:42] ---
    Upon the filthy sorrow, even
    the wind blows too hard today."
[06:48] ---
    Nakahara Chuya, huh?
[06:56] ---
    I'm home!
[07:00] ---
    I'm pleased you've returned, my other half.
[07:04] ---
    I've been expecting you.
    Now, offer me a sacrifice.
[07:08] ---
    Are you hungry, Kobato?
[07:12] ---
    "Kobato" is a mere alias.
[07:14] ---
    My name is Raysis Vi Felicity Sumeragi!
[07:18] ---
    A true ancestor of the great Night Tribe...
[07:21] ---
    And now, I'm thirsting for blood.
[07:25] ---
    If you don't submit a sacrifice
    quickly, disaster will befall you.
[07:29] ---
    Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna make food now.
[07:34] ---
    It's ready!
[07:37] ---
    Sorry for the wait.
[07:40] ---
    You did well.
[07:45] ---
    The lifeblood of a virgin truly is special.
[07:47] ---
    It's just tomato juice.
[07:49] ---
    "Out of Control!? Midnight at Takayama Zoo"
[07:50] ---
    And now, some heartwarming news...
[07:56] ---
    Eat your onions, too!
[08:00] ---
    Here.
[08:05] ---
    Good.
[08:06] ---
    "Fullmetal Necromancer Eps. 1-4"
[08:11] ---
    By the by, my other half...
[08:13] ---
    Recently, haven't your
    offerings been on the scrawny side?
[08:16] ---
    Oh, yeah. I'm not able to get home
    as early because I've got the club.
[08:20] ---
    It can't be helped.
[08:22] ---
    Which is more important, me or the club?
[08:30] ---
    The club.
[08:33] ---
    If you're gonna complain,
    why don't you make dinner?
[08:39] ---
    Anyway, the juice...
[08:41] ---
    I mean, we're out of lifeblood.
[08:44] ---
    I'll buy some more tomorrow.
[08:45] ---
    Thanks...
[08:47] ---
    I mean, how wearisome.
[08:52] ---
    About a year ago,
[08:54] ---
    Kobato got hooked on that
    anime series, Fullmetal Necromancer.
[08:58] ---
    Since then, she's identified herself
    with a character inspired by its worldview.
[09:06] ---
    Dad bought this house right after I was born,
[09:09] ---
    but we had to move ten
    years ago because of his work,
[09:13] ---
    so it's been sitting empty all this time.
[09:15] ---
    This spring, when we found out Dad
    was going to be transferred to America,
[09:19] ---
    it was decided that Kobato
    and I would stay in Japan,
[09:22] ---
    and so we returned to
    this town and our old house.
[09:26] ---
    Of course, I hardly remember
    anything about living here before...
[09:31] ---
    Kobato, the bath's ready!
[09:34] ---
    I'll get in after I watch this!
[09:42] ---
    My club is important...?
[09:46] ---
    You're not playing an eroge today, huh?
[09:47] ---
    The Sacred Blackstar!
[09:50] ---
    That malicious vixen isn't here today,
[09:53] ---
    so I can play in peace and quiet.
[09:55] ---
    She said a book she wants goes on sale today.
[10:00] ---
    Kodaka...
[10:02] ---
    Um... Can you swim?
[10:05] ---
    Yeah, sorta-kinda...
[10:07] ---
    Really?
[10:09] ---
    In that case...
[10:11] ---
    ...will you teach me how to swim?
[10:14] ---
    You can't swim?
[10:16] ---
    My elementary school
    didn't have swimming lessons.
[10:20] ---
    I see. Well, it'd be no trouble
    teaching you, but why all of a sudden?
[10:25] ---
    You don't know that, either?
[10:28] ---
    Now that I'm friends with Natsumi,
    how awkward is it gonna be
[10:32] ---
    if we go to a pool or beach
    together and I can't swim?!
[10:34] ---
    Good grief, "Natsumi"...
[10:38] ---
    So we'll go to Sea God's
    Palace Land this coming Sunday, okay?
[10:41] ---
    Yeah. All right.
[10:44] ---
    One more thing, Kodaka...
[10:46] ---
    Don't you dare tell that stupid
    Yozora that I can't swim, got it?!
[10:52] ---
    Meat's not coming today?
[10:54] ---
    Yeah, she said she's going shopping.
[10:57] ---
    No wonder it feels so comfortable...
[11:01] ---
    Don't you dare tell that stupid
    Yozora that I can't swim, got it?!
[11:04] ---
    Something on your mind?
[11:06] ---
    No. Is that the book you bought yesterday?
[11:09] ---
    Yeah.
[11:10] ---
    Is it interesting?
[11:12] ---
    Yes.
[11:28] ---
    You're late!
[11:30] ---
    Sorry...
[11:41] ---
    "Sea God's Palace Land"
[11:46] ---
    Sorry to make you wait, Kodaka.
[11:54] ---
    What?
[11:55] ---
    N-Nothing. We've gotta shower first...
[12:01] ---
    I can get in myself.
[12:11] ---
    Okay, first, try opening
    your eyes underwater.
[12:14] ---
    Are you making fun of
    me?! Anyone can do that!
[12:30] ---
    How was that?
[12:31] ---
    You pass.
[12:32] ---
    So let's go on to the flutter kick.
[12:55] ---
    Too bad.
[12:58] ---
    I almost had you.
[13:01] ---
    But swimming's totally easy!
[13:04] ---
    Man, she's a quick study!
[13:07] ---
    Here you go.
[13:08] ---
    Thanks. I thought learning
    how to swim would take longer.
[13:12] ---
    Now, if Natsumi ever shows up, I'll be ready.
[13:15] ---
    I'm pretty sure she's not gonna show up.
[13:24] ---
    Anyway, this is a swanky facility...
[13:27] ---
    I hear it's on the verge
    of bankruptcy, though.
[13:29] ---
    Really?
[13:31] ---
    There's hardly anyone here, right?
[13:33] ---
    The last time the mayor came over,
[13:35] ---
    he and Daddy were talking about
    how many more years it could last.
[13:38] ---
    "Daddy"... Oh, the president
    of the academy...
[13:41] ---
    Right...
[13:43] ---
    Come to think of it,
    I haven't met the president yet.
[13:46] ---
    Maybe I should stop by to pay my respects...
[13:52] ---
    W-W-Why would you pay Daddy your respects?!
[13:56] ---
    You're not thinking...
[13:57] ---
    ...th-that you're going
    out with me, are you?!
[14:01] ---
    Don't tell me that you think
    this is a d-date or something?!
[14:06] ---
    You've got the wrong idea!
[14:08] ---
    My old man and your dad are old friends,
[14:12] ---
    so I thought I'd drop by to thank him
[14:15] ---
    for helping out with the admissions process.
[14:18] ---
    Y-You should've told me that first, dummy!
[14:21] ---
    I'm not responsible for your
    imagination running away from you!
[14:24] ---
    Kodaka, you've got some gall,
    challenging me like that.
[14:28] ---
    Meat...
[14:30] ---
    Excuse me?!
[14:30] ---
    Oh! The meat in the yakisoba...
[14:33] ---
    One piece was so tough that
    my teeth couldn't get through it.
[14:36] ---
    Don't say ambiguous things!
[14:38] ---
    More like you're
    hyper-sensitive to the word "meat"...
[14:42] ---
    It's that idiot! She gave
    me such a weird nickname!
[14:45] ---
    And yet, it feels like you accepted
    it readily enough from the beginning...
[14:52] ---
    B-Because it was the first time
    anyone's ever given me a nickname...
[14:55] ---
    So I was, uh, a little h-happy...
[14:58] ---
    Happy?
[14:59] ---
    D-Don't you ever tell Yozora that!
[15:02] ---
    But enough of that, Kodaka! If you're
    done eating, let's get back to swimming!
[15:07] ---
    Give me a minute.
[15:10] ---
    Her first nickname...
[15:12] ---
    I'd consider "Meat" more
    of an insult than a nickname...
[15:17] ---
    Taka! Hey, Taka!
[15:25] ---
    Get away from me!
[15:27] ---
    Who's this broad?!
[15:28] ---
    Wench!
[15:29] ---
    You think riffraff like you are in a
    position to talk to me on even terms?
[15:34] ---
    Bitch!
[15:35] ---
    Here we go...
[15:37] ---
    And what's your deal?!
[15:39] ---
    "Broad," "bitch"... Your responses
    all follow just one pattern!
[15:42] ---
    Don't you think your
    vocabularies need a major upgrade?!
[15:44] ---
    Don't mess with us, bitch!
[15:46] ---
    Hey, hold up!
[15:47] ---
    Are her legs quivering?
[15:51] ---
    Totally!
[15:52] ---
    The hell, she's actually scared!
[15:54] ---
    W-What are you talking about?!
[15:56] ---
    My legs are not quivering!
[15:58] ---
    Sena!
[16:00] ---
    Kodaka!
[16:02] ---
    What do you want?!
[16:03] ---
    She's with me.
[16:05] ---
    Crap. She's with a guy?
[16:08] ---
    Should've said that from the start!
[16:10] ---
    Wait!
[16:11] ---
    How dare you insult me?!
[16:14] ---
    Reason dictates that you get down
    on your hands and knees and grovel!
[16:17] ---
    That or die long before your time!
[16:20] ---
    What was that, bitch?!
[16:23] ---
    Violence isn't the answer.
[16:25] ---
    Frickin' let go of me!
[16:26] ---
    Asshole!
[16:28] ---
    Ow!!
[16:34] ---
    Would you guys do me a favor and walk away?
[16:39] ---
    S-Sure...
[16:42] ---
    Thanks for understanding.
[16:47] ---
    You okay?
[16:50] ---
    Good work, Kodaka.
[16:51] ---
    You can lick my feet as
    a reward, if you like.
[16:54] ---
    Yeesh. I can't deal with morons
    who don't know their own place.
[17:00] ---
    You're the moron! Idiot!
[17:02] ---
    W-What?!
[17:03] ---
    Why did you go out of
    your way to provoke them?!
[17:06] ---
    Guys who hit on girls
    can be found everywhere!
[17:09] ---
    W-What's your problem, Kodaka?!
[17:11] ---
    I was nice enough to compliment
    you, and you're lecturing me?
[17:14] ---
    That's right. I'm lecturing you!
[17:16] ---
    There are a lot of guys out
    there much nastier than that!
[17:20] ---
    This isn't the club room!
[17:22] ---
    I won't always be around to protect you.
[17:24] ---
    Oh, shut up! I'll deal with
    that when the time comes!
[17:27] ---
    It has nothing to do with you, Kodaka!
[17:29] ---
    It has nothing to do with me, my ass!
[17:36] ---
    I-It has to do with you...?
[17:40] ---
    All right, my bad! From now on,
    I'll be more careful, okay?
[17:44] ---
    O-Okay...
[17:46] ---
    I'm done for today.
[17:53] ---
    That was the first time a boy my
    age has seriously gotten mad at me...
[18:05] ---
    Well, here's where we part ways...
[18:07] ---
    Yeah...
[18:12] ---
    Th-Thank you for today.
[18:14] ---
    For everything...
[18:17] ---
    Let's go again!
[18:20] ---
    I wanna play in the wave pool next time.
[18:23] ---
    S-Sure...
[18:27] ---
    She's in a good mood again?
[18:36] ---
    You need to be taken down a peg, boy!
[18:37] ---
    You got somethin' to say to that?!
[18:38] ---
    Come to think of it,
[18:40] ---
    this hair of mine used to get
    me in a lot of scrapes...
[18:53] ---
    An-chan!
[18:55] ---
    Kobato! What's wrong?!
[18:58] ---
    The bath! The bath water turned cold!
[19:01] ---
    Really?!
[19:04] ---
    It's a conspiracy! I'm not
[19:07] ---
    --Okay, just put something on.
[19:07] ---
    --gonna take a bath ever again!
[19:13] ---
    Stop bullying weak kids!
[19:16] ---
    What's it to you?!
[19:20] ---
    W-What was that for?! I
    was trying to help you!
[19:24] ---
    I'm not weak!
[19:30] ---
    Then bring it on!
[19:33] ---
    Don't ignore me!
[19:34] ---
    You...
[19:34] ---
    Get 'em!
[19:36] ---
    Jerk!
[19:37] ---
    Give it up!
[19:40] ---
    Little brat!
[19:49] ---
    From then on, he and I were fast friends...
[20:00] ---
    Taka...
[20:02] ---
    My mom once said...
[20:04] ---
    "When you're in first grade, it doesn't
    matter if you can't make 100 friends.
[20:09] ---
    Instead, make real friends who are
    as important to you as 100 of them.
[20:14] ---
    It doesn't matter if you only have one,
[20:16] ---
    as long as it's a real
    friend that you care about."
[20:20] ---
    I like the way your mom thinks.
[20:22] ---
    Yeah...
[20:23] ---
    In that case, I'll value
    you as much as 100 friends...
[20:28] ---
    Even if the whole world becomes
    your enemy, I'll always be your friend.
[20:32] ---
    D-Don't say such embarrassing things!
[20:35] ---
    You started it!
[20:38] ---
    W-Well, yeah, but...
[20:49] ---
    Must've fallen asleep...
[20:53] ---
    "Make real friends who are as
    important to you as 100 of them..."
[21:03] ---
    K-Kodaka...
[21:04] ---
    You remem--
[21:07] ---
    Is something wrong?
[21:10] ---
    N-Nothing!
[21:13] ---
    I was just surprised when you
    started muttering all of a sudden!
[21:17] ---
    Oh. Sorry...
[21:20] ---
    By the way, where's Sena?
[21:21] ---
    Meat already went home.
[21:23] ---
    What about you, Yozora?
[21:24] ---
    I-I was reading my book, so...
[21:28] ---
    Well, I'm gonna go home, too.
[21:44] ---
    I wonder what that kid is doing now?
[21:48] ---
    Does he still live in this town?
[21:52] ---
    What did I call him then again?
[21:58] ---
    Oh, well, it was a long time ago.
[22:00] ---
    I'm sure he doesn't remember
    what happened ten years ago, either.
[22:09] ---
    Is there even such a thing as friends...
[22:13] ---
    ...who treasure each other forever?
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking
    that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:58] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:02] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:50] ---
    Hey, Yozora, can you swim?
[23:52] ---
    I can swim. But I have no
    intention of swimming with you.
[23:55] ---
    Shoot. Boring!
[23:57] ---
    If you couldn't swim,
    I was going to offer to teach you
[23:59] ---
    if you got down on your
    hands and knees and begged.
[24:03] ---
    Now that I know how to swim,
    I wish there was someone I could teach...
[24:07] ---
    Now that you know how to swim?
[24:08] ---
    Did someone teach you?
[24:10] ---
    Never mind! Forget I said anything!
[24:12] ---
    Next time: "Underclassmen Don't Hold Back."
[24:12] ---
    "Next time: Underclassmen Don't Hold Back"
[24:14] ---
    Who's the underclassman?
[24:16] ---
    You mean the Neighbors Club
    is getting a new member?
[24:17] ---
    Don't ask me!

Season 1

4 - Underclassmen Don't Hold Back

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:32] ---
    Good morning.
[00:45] ---
    That was so scary...
[01:04] ---
    WANAWANA
[01:05] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[01:07] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:09] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[01:13] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:22] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:25] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[01:28] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:32] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[01:35] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:39] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[01:46] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[01:48] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[01:55] ---
    SOWASOWA
[01:55] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[01:57] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[01:59] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:02] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[02:06] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[02:11] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[02:15] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:18] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:22] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[02:26] ---
    "Underclassmen Don't Hold Back"
[02:30] ---
    Hey, is anyone... here?
[02:35] ---
    Isn't that a sister's outfit?
[02:41] ---
    What's this kid doing here?
[02:45] ---
    I caught a photo of a
    Yankee molesting a little girl.
[02:50] ---
    Kodaka, you're into lolicon?
[02:52] ---
    N-No!
[02:54] ---
    The people who see this
    photo will be the judge of that.
[02:57] ---
    Shall I upload it to some image board?
[03:00] ---
    Don't spread a misunderstanding!
[03:09] ---
    M-Mikazuki Yozora!
[03:11] ---
    It's been a while, hasn't it, Maria?
[03:14] ---
    Welcome to my room.
[03:16] ---
    What do you mean, "my room"?
[03:17] ---
    It was my nap room before
    you cheated me out of it!
[03:21] ---
    You two know each other?
[03:23] ---
    I mentioned it earlier...
[03:25] ---
    Takayama Maria is a sister
    who works at the academy
[03:28] ---
    and is our club's faculty adviser.
[03:29] ---
    Faculty adviser?!
[03:30] ---
    This little kid?
[03:32] ---
    Don't call me "little"!
[03:33] ---
    I'm a legitimate teacher!
[03:36] ---
    How old are you?
[03:37] ---
    Ten!
[03:38] ---
    You look your age...
[03:40] ---
    But what do you mean about her
    tricking you out of the club room?
[03:43] ---
    Th-This woman came to my room...
[03:48] ---
    ...and suddenly slapped my right cheek!
[03:51] ---
    Then she said, "Like the Lord says,
[03:53] ---
    if someone strikes you on the
    right cheek, turn to him the other also."
[03:57] ---
    So then she slapped my left cheek!
[04:00] ---
    And it hurt!
[04:02] ---
    Then she said,
[04:04] ---
    "Like the Lord says, if someone strikes you
[04:06] ---
    on the right cheek, next
    offer them your room!
[04:08] ---
    Then sign their club founding documents
[04:11] ---
    and give them your seal of approval!"
[04:15] ---
    I-I checked it out later, but it
    doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible!
[04:19] ---
    Liar! Thief! Poopyhead!
[04:22] ---
    Don't be so gullible.
[04:24] ---
    I was scared... I thought if
    I resisted, she'd slap me again!
[04:29] ---
    Well, that was unfortunate.
[04:32] ---
    And who the heck are you?
[04:35] ---
    I'm Hasegawa Kodaka. A member of this club.
[04:38] ---
    So you two are Yozora's minions, huh?
[04:40] ---
    How rude! I'm nobody's minion.
[04:44] ---
    That's right. That meat
    has nothing to do with me.
[04:47] ---
    She isn't even a member here.
[04:49] ---
    I am so a member!
[04:50] ---
    Shut up! Anyway, this room is mine!
[04:53] ---
    I quit being the faculty adviser
    to this club I don't even understand!
[04:56] ---
    All of you, get out!
[04:58] ---
    I suppose it was a heavy
    burden for a child after all, huh?
[05:01] ---
    What was that?!
[05:04] ---
    It was unreasonable of me to
    ask a child to be a faculty adviser.
[05:08] ---
    I was being foolish.
[05:10] ---
    I'm sure no adult would give
    up a role she had agreed to.
[05:15] ---
    I-I'm a respectable adult!
[05:17] ---
    Don't bite off more than
    you can chew, little girl.
[05:20] ---
    I did assume that a girl genius
    nun like Maria-sensei would be okay,
[05:26] ---
    but I guess my confidence was misplaced.
[05:30] ---
    I'm an adult!
[05:31] ---
    Being faculty adviser would be a cinch!
[05:35] ---
    You don't have to make yourself do it...
[05:37] ---
    I-I'm not making myself!
[05:40] ---
    Then you'll continue as club adviser?
[05:43] ---
    Of course!
[05:44] ---
    In that case, bow your head and say,
[05:46] ---
    "I want to be your faculty
    adviser. Please let me do it."
[05:49] ---
    I want to be your faculty
    adviser. Please let me do it.
[05:52] ---
    And you'll have to let me
    use this room as I see fit.
[05:55] ---
    Do you swear to God?
[05:56] ---
    I swear!
[05:57] ---
    And if you ever tell me again that
    you're going to quit being faculty adviser,
[06:01] ---
    you won't mind if I strip you naked
    and send photos all over the Net?
[06:05] ---
    I won't mind!
[06:06] ---
    Really? Then...
[06:08] ---
    ...let's have a round of applause for
    Takayama Maria-sensei, our faculty adviser.
[06:13] ---
    Come on, clap too!
[06:15] ---
    S-Sure...
[06:18] ---
    Shucks, you're embarrassing me.
[06:20] ---
    Well, leave everything to me, you lowlifes.
[06:24] ---
    You've got to clean the room every day.
[06:26] ---
    But right now I'm thirsty,
    so fetch me some tea.
[06:29] ---
    Got it!
[06:32] ---
    There's nothing easier than fooling a fool.
[06:37] ---
    Somebody's watching you?
[06:39] ---
    Yeah. At least, I have the
    weird feeling I'm being watched...
[06:43] ---
    Maybe it's a stalker...?
[06:49] ---
    Kodaka, are you serious?
[06:51] ---
    I mean, think about it!
[06:52] ---
    90% of stalkers' motives are
    related to romantic feelings.
[06:56] ---
    Have you had anything remotely resembling
    a romance since coming to this school?
[07:00] ---
    Enough!
[07:01] ---
    I was an idiot to even ask your advice!
[07:05] ---
    Wait, Kodaka.
[07:07] ---
    I can't let a fellow club
    member suffer alone.
[07:10] ---
    I'll help you catch your stalker!
[07:17] ---
    Hm. I really do get the
    feeling we're being watched...
[07:19] ---
    Yes. Kodaka wasn't just being paranoid.
[07:23] ---
    This wasn't what I meant.
[07:26] ---
    All the students we pass
    are giving us the eyeball!
[07:30] ---
    How am I supposed to
    find the secret starer now?!
[07:33] ---
    Sena-sama's abandoned me...
[07:35] ---
    Now he's got two babes waiting on him!
[07:37] ---
    --Oh...
[07:37] ---
    --Maybe he's got some dirt on them...
[07:38] ---
    --So that's what it is...
[07:40] ---
    You've got the wrong idea! I...
[07:44] ---
    I've seen that in movies...
[07:46] ---
    Where the hoodlum goes,
    "What the hell are you starin' at?!"
[07:50] ---
    First time I've seen it in real life, though.
[07:56] ---
    It wasn't my idea to bring them
    along, so why am I the bad guy?
[08:11] ---
    So you're the culprit...
[08:17] ---
    W-What the hell is that for?!
[08:19] ---
    Isn't this what they call a "shakedown"?
[08:22] ---
    No!
[08:24] ---
    My name is Kusunoki Yukimura.
    I'm in class 1-1.
[08:28] ---
    That sounds like a military commander
    from the Warring States period.
[08:30] ---
    Exactly.
[08:31] ---
    My parents chose it, hoping I'd become
[08:35] ---
    a fine son of Japan, like Sanada Yukimura.
[08:39] ---
    "Son of Japan"?
[08:41] ---
    Yes. As you can see, I'm a boy.
[08:44] ---
    No, I can't see that...
[08:48] ---
    What's the idea of following me around?
[08:50] ---
    Actually, I'm the victim of bullying.
[08:54] ---
    Bullying, huh?
[08:56] ---
    So that kind of thing
    happens in this school too?
[08:59] ---
    There is no school without bullying.
[09:05] ---
    Why is there bullying, anyway?
[09:09] ---
    Because it's fun.
[09:10] ---
    It's fun?
[09:12] ---
    People like to attack others
    without getting harmed themselves.
[09:17] ---
    Killing living things,
    badmouthing someone on the Net...
[09:21] ---
    If the person that's bullied is at fault,
[09:23] ---
    the bully uses that as a
    pretext and enjoys it even more.
[09:27] ---
    Spoken like a true bully...
[09:30] ---
    Don't you dare lump me in with them!
[09:38] ---
    S-So this has something
    to do with tailing Kodaka?
[09:41] ---
    Yes. I was trying to learn how to
    be a strong man like Kodaka-sempai.
[09:48] ---
    Like this good-for-nothing Yankee?
[09:50] ---
    Excuse me?
[09:51] ---
    No rules can tie him down, and
    he lives life just the way he wants to.
[09:56] ---
    Bold and open-hearted,
[09:57] ---
    he steals money and goods as he desires,
[10:00] ---
    using his power to eliminate
    those who don't follow his orders,
[10:03] ---
    while having beautiful women serve up
    sumptuous feasts of wine and themselves.
[10:06] ---
    His behavior shows no fear of God,
[10:08] ---
    as he is indeed his own lord
    throughout heaven and earth.
[10:11] ---
    You make me sound like Totaku!
[10:13] ---
    I follow school rules, have never stolen
    money, and I don't make women serve me!
[10:17] ---
    You're just being modest.
[10:19] ---
    It's not modesty!
[10:20] ---
    In other words, Yukimura,
[10:22] ---
    you want to become a strong
    man who doesn't get bullied?
[10:25] ---
    How do people bully you?
[10:28] ---
    The boys in my class
    exclude me from the group.
[10:32] ---
    For example, in gym...
[10:34] ---
    ...if I start to change my clothes,
[10:37] ---
    all of the boys nearby take off.
[10:40] ---
    Or while playing dodge ball,
    I'm the only one they don't aim at.
[10:44] ---
    Hey, are you sure that's bullying?
[10:46] ---
    Ow!
[10:47] ---
    I feel so sorry for you
    that I think I'm going to cry.
[10:51] ---
    I get treated this way
    because I'm so feminine.
[10:54] ---
    But I'm positive that the bullying
    will stop if I become manlier!
[10:59] ---
    Kusunoki Yukimura...
[11:01] ---
    Facing difficulties with your
    own strength is praiseworthy.
[11:06] ---
    You should thoroughly study the
    path of becoming a man with Kodaka.
[11:10] ---
    Thank you.
[11:11] ---
    However,
[11:13] ---
    Kodaka is a busy member
    of our Neighbors Club.
[11:17] ---
    Of course, if you join as well,
[11:19] ---
    you'll be able to observe
    Kodaka from even closer-up.
[11:22] ---
    I'll join.
[11:23] ---
    This is totally different from when I joined!
[11:25] ---
    What's your angle, Yozora?
[11:27] ---
    What's the problem? You can
    think of it as getting an underling.
[11:31] ---
    This way, you'll be a
    consummate delinquent, Kodaka.
[11:33] ---
    What are you talking about, "consummate"?!
[11:35] ---
    Underling?
[11:37] ---
    I can be Kodaka-sempai's underling?
[11:40] ---
    That makes me happy.
[11:42] ---
    Can I call you Aniki sometimes?
    
[11:46] ---
    D-Do whatever you want.
[11:56] ---
    So this ten-year-old teacher
    becomes our club adviser,
[12:00] ---
    and then a boy who you'd
    swear was a girl joins the club.
[12:05] ---
    An-chan, these days,
    all you talk about is that club.
[12:11] ---
    Did you say something?
[12:13] ---
    Not a single word!
[12:16] ---
    The very idea of Raysis Vi
    Felicity Sumeragi being unnerved
[12:21] ---
    is absurd!
[12:22] ---
    Yeah, yeah. Eat everything on your plate.
[12:28] ---
    "Curry Bun" "Legend of the Strongest Delinquent"
    What's this?
[12:29] ---
    A snack.
[12:31] ---
    Yozora taught me it's common
    sense for underlings
[12:34] ---
    to buy food and Yankee manga.
[12:37] ---
    That girl is so irresponsible...
[12:41] ---
    Please enjoy it, Aniki.
[12:44] ---
    He made the kid buy it?
[12:45] ---
    I feel sorry for that freshman.
[12:46] ---
    He even forced him to buy manga!
[12:49] ---
    Hey, wait!
[12:54] ---
    Shit! Since joining the Neighbors Club,
    my reputation has dropped like a rock!
[13:00] ---
    "Science Lab"
[13:15] ---
    Hey! Are you okay?
[13:18] ---
    "Infirmary"
[13:23] ---
    This is actually interesting...
[13:25] ---
    I've gotta remember to
    pay Yukimura back later.
[13:28] ---
    A second-year boy
[13:31] ---
    of average height and build,
[13:32] ---
    with dishwater-blond hair
    and a menacing look in his eye.
[13:36] ---
    Sempai, are you the one who
    carried Rika to the infirmary before?
[13:40] ---
    Rika?
[13:41] ---
    Shiguma Rika. Shi plus
    the animal, kuma ...
[13:45] ---
    ...and "Rika" as in
    rika shakai .
[13:46] ---
    A first-year student.
[13:47] ---
    I see. Well, I am the
    one who carried you over.
[13:51] ---
    Thank you for saving Rika's life.
[13:54] ---
    Oh, I... ah, don't worry about it.
[13:57] ---
    Rika could not do that.
[13:59] ---
    Sempai, you're Rika's savior.
[14:02] ---
    Rika must repay you a price
    that is commensurate with her life.
[14:05] ---
    Your life? Are you telling me the
    chemicals in that beaker were dangerous?
[14:09] ---
    No, not especially...
[14:11] ---
    It was a fast-acting sleeping drug,
    so Rika can say it was safe.
[14:15] ---
    In that case, I'm no lifesaver.
[14:18] ---
    Perhaps Rika's life wasn't really in danger.
[14:21] ---
    However, if you hadn't taken
    Rika to the infirmary, Sempai,
[14:25] ---
    boys acting like starved wild animals
    could have done something terrible to Rika!
[14:30] ---
    Something terrible?
[14:33] ---
    Rape!
[14:34] ---
    R-Rape?!
[14:36] ---
    That's the kind of development that
    happens in the books Rika's fond of reading.
[14:40] ---
    Men could have come in
    while Rika was sleeping
[14:43] ---
    and lustfully ripped off her clothes...
[14:45] ---
    ...and then, one after another, in a frenzy,
[14:48] ---
    --they would ravage Rika's delicate body...
[14:50] ---
    --Did she say "rape"?
[14:51] ---
    --Was that girl raped?
[14:51] ---
    --Pounding her wildly...
[14:53] ---
    C-Come with me!
[14:54] ---
    What?
[14:58] ---
    Kodaka?!
[15:01] ---
    Sorry!
[15:03] ---
    I mean, what are you talking about, "rape"?!
[15:05] ---
    You're right; it is something that shouldn't
    be discussed in front of other people.
[15:08] ---
    Anyway, Rika must give you a token
    of gratitude for saving her chastity.
[15:12] ---
    I don't need it!
[15:13] ---
    Then maybe Rika can fix that
    bad blonde dye job for you?
[15:18] ---
    This is my real hair.
[15:20] ---
    It's true.
[15:22] ---
    It's sorta a keepsake from my English
    mother, so I'm not gonna mess with it.
[15:31] ---
    Ow! What the hell are you doing?!
[15:33] ---
    Rika's interested in your DNA, Sempai.
[15:36] ---
    Interested how?
[15:38] ---
    Rika's got to get back to the science lab.
[15:41] ---
    The science lab?
[15:42] ---
    Yes. Rika's a science lab student.
[15:44] ---
    There's such a thing?
[15:46] ---
    Yes. It's a science lab version
    of "infirmary students."
[15:50] ---
    You mean...
[15:54] ---
    I see. Things are complicated
    for you too, huh?
[15:58] ---
    Please don't look at Rika
    with such kind eyes.
[16:00] ---
    You're making Rika feel bashful.
[16:03] ---
    Um... Sempai...?
[16:05] ---
    Rika still doesn't know your name.
[16:07] ---
    Oh. It's Hasegawa Kodaka.
[16:10] ---
    Hasegawa... Kodaka-sempai, is it?
[16:17] ---
    For the first time in Rika's life,
    she's interested in mammals.
[16:28] ---
    I've brought you some coffee, Aniki.
[16:33] ---
    But...
[16:34] ---
    ...why are you wearing
    a maid uniform, Yukimura?
[16:38] ---
    It's special training to
    help him become a real man.
[16:40] ---
    Huh?! What kind of special training?
[16:43] ---
    Yozora said:
[16:45] ---
    "Real men, no matter what they're wearing,
[16:50] ---
    exude masculinity that can't be hidden."
[16:54] ---
    --When I can muster manliness from my soul,
[16:55] ---
    --There you go, putting ideas in his head!
[16:57] ---
    --even while wearing an outfit like this,
[16:57] ---
    --What about you, Kodaka?!
[16:59] ---
    --I heard a rumor that you raped
[16:59] ---
    --that will serve as proof
[17:00] ---
    --that I've become a real man.
[17:01] ---
    --an innocent underclassman!
[17:03] ---
    --I did not!
[17:04] ---
    Anyway, that girl can't
    fit in with other people,
[17:06] ---
    so she spends all day in the science lab!
[17:09] ---
    Is that right?
[17:10] ---
    Hey! I just remembered!
[17:13] ---
    That girl you helped
[17:15] ---
    is "genius girl inventor" Shiguma Rika.
[17:18] ---
    I hear that since elementary school,
[17:19] ---
    she's created all kinds
    of things, from electronics
[17:21] ---
    to medicines to computer programs.
[17:23] ---
    She's even provided
    technology to large corporations.
[17:26] ---
    Daddy convinced her to enroll here,
[17:30] ---
    but she doesn't have to attend any classes.
[17:31] ---
    She doesn't have to go to class?
[17:33] ---
    That's right. She's a "science lab student."
[17:36] ---
    In fact, the science lab itself
    was constructed for her sake.
[17:39] ---
    She's totally getting VIP treatment!
[17:42] ---
    Is it okay to give one
    student such special treatment?
[17:45] ---
    Huh?
[17:46] ---
    Isn't it normal for the superior
    to be given preferential treatment
[17:49] ---
    over the mediocre?
[17:50] ---
    By rights, they should
    build me my own room, too.
[17:54] ---
    Here you are.
[17:56] ---
    Thank you.
[18:00] ---
    I found you, Kodaka-sempai!
[18:02] ---
    W-What do you want?
[18:04] ---
    Rika heard that you belonged
    to this "Neighbors Club"...
[18:08] ---
    ...so she thought that
    maybe she would join...
[18:10] ---
    Join the club?!
[18:13] ---
    Here's the sign-up application.
[18:15] ---
    Shiguma Rika or whatever your name...
[18:17] ---
    This club exists for a certain noble purpose.
[18:21] ---
    As such, there is a qualification.
[18:24] ---
    You mean the purpose of making friends?
[18:27] ---
    H-How did you know?!
[18:29] ---
    Rika saw "friends wanted" on
    the Neighbors Club recruiting poster.
[18:35] ---
    You got it from that poster?
[18:37] ---
    It seems Rika's conjecture was correct.
[18:39] ---
    If the qualification is not having
    friends, Rika is confident she fulfills it.
[18:44] ---
    Yes, you do seem to meet
    the club entrance requirement.
[18:49] ---
    Very well. Starting today,
    you'll be a member of our club, too.
[18:53] ---
    This way, Rika will always be able
    to meet Kodaka-sempai after school!
[18:57] ---
    Incidentally, Rika is looking forward
    to getting to know the rest of you, too.
[18:59] ---
    As long as you don't interfere
    with Kodaka-sempai and Rika...
[19:03] ---
    How is this "not fitting
    in with other people"?
[19:05] ---
    Something's brushing against my arm...
[19:08] ---
    Sorry.
[19:09] ---
    Rika forgot about the dirty
    book she left in her pocket.
[19:11] ---
    Dirty book?!
[19:12] ---
    You walk around with something like that?!
[19:15] ---
    Yes. Um, do you want to see it?
[19:17] ---
    You'd show it to people?!
[19:18] ---
    This is so exciting, it
    makes Rika's head spin!
[19:24] ---
    It just looks like robot manga to me...
[19:26] ---
    How is it dirty?
[19:28] ---
    Well, this is ZZ x Unit-02, so...
[19:35] ---
    "How do you like the taste of my
    prized high mega-bazooka, Unit-02?!"
[19:39] ---
    "Ooh, ZZ, it's so fat and hard,
[19:43] ---
    i-it went all the way in!
[19:45] ---
    I-It's incredible!"
[19:47] ---
    "How about this?! You can't stand
    it when I attack you there, can you?!
[19:50] ---
    Now I'm going to pierce your DT Field!"
[19:54] ---
    "N-No! It's my first time, so do it gently!
[19:58] ---
    That huge, dual-equipped
    mega-beam cannon won't fit in me!"
[20:08] ---
    "I can't hold on anymore!
[20:09] ---
    Energy at 170%... Fully charged!
[20:13] ---
    I'm letting loose!"
[20:17] ---
    "Stop!
[20:23] ---
    You're gonna break me in half!
[20:29] ---
    Your hot stuff is inside me!
[20:37] ---
    Universe!!"
[20:49] ---
    It's wonderful no matter
    how many times Rika reads it!
[20:52] ---
    And the best part is the mechas' expressions
[20:55] ---
    when they simultaneously reach climax!
[20:57] ---
    There aren't many artists
    who can depict ahegao like that!
[21:02] ---
    There's something wrong with you.
[21:05] ---
    Rika's always known
[21:07] ---
    that no one would understand.
[21:09] ---
    But Rika won't give in!
[21:11] ---
    Sempai! How about trying
    sexual intercourse with Rika?
[21:16] ---
    W-W-What are you saying?! Have you no shame?!
[21:19] ---
    But Sempai, from what Rika hears,
[21:22] ---
    these days, there are
    what you call "sex friends"!
[21:26] ---
    No! There is no such thing!
[21:28] ---
    You're unexpectedly innocent, Sempai!
[21:32] ---
    A-Anyway, you can't do that kind of thing!
[21:35] ---
    I refuse to recognize se--
    Impure friends like that!
[21:40] ---
    But, Sempai, Rika thinks that males and
    females can't form regular friendships...
[21:44] ---
    That isn't true!
[21:49] ---
    W-What's wrong, Yozora?
[21:52] ---
    Nothing at all...
[21:53] ---
    It seems Rika has stepped on a land mine.
[21:57] ---
    But from now on, let's try
    lots of different things together,
[22:00] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[22:01] ---
    --Why do I feel an ache in my heart?
[22:02] ---
    --What do you mean "lots of things"?
[22:05] ---
    --Rika will start thinking about that. Ha ha!
[22:05] ---
    --Why did she notice that crap poster?!
[22:07] ---
    --How about a drug to
[22:08] ---
    --What's with this girl?
[22:09] ---
    --make you think only of Rika?
[22:10] ---
    --Why is she so chummy with Kodaka?
[22:12] ---
    D-Did you say something?
[22:14] ---
    No.
[22:15] ---
    We didn't say a word!
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:42] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte
    ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:58] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:51] ---
    Kodaka*-sempai*, please give Rika your genes!
[23:53] ---
    Please, inside Rika's...
[23:54] ---
    I-I-I-Inside what?!
[23:55] ---
    Inside Rika's laboratory test tube!
[23:57] ---
    You already took my hair!
[23:59] ---
    Come to think of it, you said it was a
    keepsake from your mother or something...
[24:02] ---
    Yeah, my late mother was English.
[24:05] ---
    Though my old man is
    an average Japanese guy.
[24:07] ---
    Rika thought all half-Japanese
    men were good-looking...
[24:09] ---
    Sorry to burst your bubble! Yeesh!
[24:11] ---
    Kobato inherited all of
    the genes for cuteness!
[24:13] ---
    Kobato?
[24:13] ---
    Next time: "This Time,
    the SAGA is a Serious Battle."
[24:14] ---
    "Next time: This Time,
    the SAGA is a Serious Battle."
[24:16] ---
    Tell me, Sempai! Who's Kobato?!

Season 1

5 - This Time, the SAGA is a Serious Battle

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    So Maria's a teacher,
    but all she eats is potato chips.
[00:16] ---
    Just eating junk food is
    bad for your health, you know?
[00:20] ---
    It's not like we eat decent food...
[00:23] ---
    Did you say something?
[00:25] ---
    You travel in the company
    of the great Night Tribe.
[00:29] ---
    Frolicking with an agent of the
    hated church can only lead to disaster.
[00:45] ---
    As my other half is awake,
[00:48] ---
    I too have roused from my long slumber.
[00:51] ---
    You're up early, Kobato.
[00:54] ---
    It looks like you've devised an
    elaborate offering this morning.
[00:58] ---
    It's not all for breakfast.
[01:00] ---
    A lot's for lunch.
[01:01] ---
    Really? What's gotten
    into you, Bro... my kindred?
[01:06] ---
    Does this mean you've finally
    recognized my greatness and respect me?
[01:11] ---
    I thought I told you yesterday...
[01:13] ---
    That Maria girl doesn't eat real food,
[01:16] ---
    so I thought I'd make her lunch or something.
[01:20] ---
    Of course, I made enough for you too, Kobato.
[01:24] ---
    So that Maria girl comes first
    and my offering is an afterthought?
[01:28] ---
    What was that?
[01:29] ---
    Nothing!
[01:32] ---
    Hey! Where are you going?
[01:33] ---
    Breakfast is ready... Kobato!
[01:37] ---
    Stupid brother...
[01:50] ---
    QUIVER
[01:51] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness
[01:53] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:55] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:59] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:07] ---
    "Haganai"
[02:11] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[02:14] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[02:18] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[02:21] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[02:25] ---
    If a group of unlucky
    people gathered together,
[02:32] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[02:34] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[02:40] ---
    FIDGET
[02:41] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:43] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[02:45] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[02:48] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:52] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:57] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[03:01] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[03:04] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[03:08] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[03:12] ---
    "This Time, the SAGA is a Serious Battle"
[03:18] ---
    Hey! What are you doing here so early?
[03:20] ---
    Again? Just eating potato
    chips is bad for your body.
[03:24] ---
    Don't worry about it!
    The sisters' food is as disgusting as poo!
[03:28] ---
    Look at this!
[03:30] ---
    Whoa!
[03:31] ---
    When'd you stock up like this?
[03:33] ---
    Yozora gives them to me when I work for her!
[03:36] ---
    What are you, a pack mule?
[03:38] ---
    I shouldn't be surprised...
[03:39] ---
    Here.
[03:44] ---
    D-Did you make this, Kodaka?
[03:47] ---
    You're giving it to me?
[03:49] ---
    W-What are you after?
[03:51] ---
    Higher social standing? Glory?
[03:53] ---
    I don't need anything!
[03:55] ---
    Just give me back the box when you're done.
[03:57] ---
    I'll make you lunch tomorrow, too.
[04:00] ---
    Why are you being so nice to me, Kodaka?
[04:03] ---
    Are you really an apostle of God?
[04:06] ---
    Somehow, Maria, you remind me
    of my sister when she was little...
[04:10] ---
    I just can't leave you alone.
[04:13] ---
    Kodaka, you have a younger sister?
[04:16] ---
    No wonder you seem
    like the "big brother" type...
[04:19] ---
    Yeah, well...
[04:20] ---
    Anyway, I gotta get back to class.
[04:23] ---
    Don't just eat potato chips, now.
[04:25] ---
    Got it, Big Brother!
[04:29] ---
    Big Brother...?
[04:31] ---
    And so, rumor has it that Kodaka
    eats his lunch before lunchtime.
[04:38] ---
    I apologize, Aniki.
[04:40] ---
    My snack didn't satisfy your hunger?
[04:43] ---
    That's not it... Thank you.
[04:46] ---
    Big Brother!
[04:48] ---
    You know what? That lunch
    you made me was super-delicious!
[04:51] ---
    The potato chips that Yozora
    gives me are like poo in comparison!
[04:54] ---
    Poopy Yozora only knows how
    to give poo! Dummy! Dummy!
[04:57] ---
    Oh?!
[04:59] ---
    I didn't mean it!
[04:59] ---
    Potato chips are good, too!
[05:01] ---
    Hmph!
[05:02] ---
    Kodaka, if you're having a
    little girl call you "Big Brother,"
[05:04] ---
    does that mean you have
    a little sister fetish?
[05:07] ---
    I'm not making her call me anything!
[05:10] ---
    Kodaka really is a big brother,
    so I'm gonna call him that, too!
[05:20] ---
    I wish I could go inside the game...
[05:24] ---
    N-No!
[05:26] ---
    That was only a joke... I mean,
    I just wanted to try saying that.
[05:30] ---
    Sena-sempai, Rika can't
    get you inside the game,
[05:34] ---
    but she's got a game where
    you can have a similar experience.
[05:38] ---
    Really?
[05:40] ---
    Why do you have something like that?
[05:42] ---
    After Rika helped them develop it,
    they gave her a copy of the prototype.
[05:46] ---
    Do you want to try it?
[05:47] ---
    Yes! Yes, I do!
[05:51] ---
    You put this on?
[05:52] ---
    That's right. It's the
    newest head-mounted display
[05:55] ---
    from the international company Largehard.
[05:57] ---
    When the time is ripe, they
    may release it around the world.
[06:01] ---
    And this is a demo version
    of the exclusive software
[06:05] ---
    they plan to release alongside it,
[06:08] ---
    the 3D fantasy RPG, Romancing sAgA 14!
[06:11] ---
    Why "Saga"?
[06:13] ---
    Because the company is in Saga Prefecture.
[06:14] ---
    That's the reason?
[06:15] ---
    What the hell?!
[06:20] ---
    It's pitch black! I can't see anything!
[06:22] ---
    Please wait just a moment
    while the software boots up.
[06:39] ---
    Saga...
[06:40] ---
    It is the final frontier.
[06:42] ---
    Why?!
[06:44] ---
    In order to bring an end to this
    world, the reigning governor of Saga
[06:48] ---
    has summoned the Prince of
    Darkness from another dimension
[06:51] ---
    and plotted to use his
    power to destroy the Earth...
[06:55] ---
    The opening is long, so
    Rika is going to skip it, okay?
[06:57] ---
    Hey! I'm really curious about
    Valhalla Castle in Saga Prefecture!
[07:01] ---
    We're skipping ahead.
[07:02] ---
    First, character creation, but
    all you can do is choose a job.
[07:05] ---
    Pick whatever you like.
[07:06] ---
    "Romancing sAgA 14"
    Valhalla Castle...
[07:09] ---
    "Thief"
[07:09] ---
    "Trade Choices"
[07:10] ---
    "Knight"
[07:11] ---
    "Samurai"
[07:11] ---
    Um...
[07:13] ---
    "Samurai"
[07:13] ---
    "Trade Choices"
[07:14] ---
    "Wizard"
[07:14] ---
    Maybe I'll be this...
[07:19] ---
    Kodaka-sempai...
[07:23] ---
    Whoa. That's some outfit!
[07:25] ---
    Rika chose "Gunner"
    and this is what it gave her.
[07:28] ---
    Sempai, you look pretty impressive yourself.
[07:30] ---
    Really?
[07:32] ---
    If you select "equipment" from the
    menu, you can see what you look like.
[07:38] ---
    What the hell is this?!
[07:40] ---
    I chose "Wizard"!
[07:42] ---
    There's an urban legend on the Net that says,
[07:46] ---
    "If you remain a virgin 'til the
    age of 30, you can become a wizard!"
[07:50] ---
    Your character is a man
    who became a great wizard!
[07:53] ---
    I don't wanna be that kind of wizard!
[07:54] ---
    "You haven't learned any magic yet."
[07:55] ---
    And this guy doesn't even know any magic!
[07:58] ---
    It says "Wizard," but Rika
    guesses it's in name only, huh?
[08:00] ---
    That's no kind of job!
[08:02] ---
    What's with your outfit?
[08:09] ---
    I wouldn't talk... Sena.
[08:13] ---
    W-Wait a second...
[08:16] ---
    What is this?!
[08:17] ---
    I chose "Blacksmith"!
[08:19] ---
    Now that you mention it, it does
    kinda look like a blacksmith's outfit.
[08:21] ---
    It does not!
[08:23] ---
    A blacksmith wears clothes
    that are more refined
[08:26] ---
    and a sword that's called forth by magic...
[08:29] ---
    ...which gracefully cuts
    the enemy into pieces!
[08:31] ---
    What world has a blacksmith like that?
[08:33] ---
    Man... I screwed up.
[08:36] ---
    This must be the job that's
    least suited to me.
[08:39] ---
    Quit your bitching, Meat!
[08:42] ---
    What's that?!
[08:50] ---
    I chose "Rose Girl."
[08:53] ---
    It looks like the developer
    just threw that together, huh?
[08:56] ---
    But that class actually has high levels
[08:58] ---
    of both attack ability and magical defense.
[09:01] ---
    Well, as long as I'm strong...
[09:05] ---
    So you like that, Yozora?
[09:08] ---
    Hmph. Not especially...
[09:10] ---
    Aniki, what do you think about mine?
[09:13] ---
    Well, uh... You look strong.
[09:16] ---
    You're a "Samurai," aren't you, Yukimura-san?
[09:18] ---
    Wait a sec. Sena, Yozora,
    and Yukimura are the tanks,
[09:22] ---
    Rika is the long-distance
    attacker... and what am I?
[09:25] ---
    Kodaka-sempai, you're
    the "slacker," Rika supposes.
[09:28] ---
    I'm a "slacker," huh?
[09:31] ---
    Then nobody is the healer...
[09:33] ---
    I'm here!
[09:36] ---
    Maria?
[09:37] ---
    Maria-san, you chose "Sister," huh?
[09:40] ---
    That's a rear-guard healing position.
[09:42] ---
    I feel like I've seen
    that before somewhere...
[09:45] ---
    An acolyte of God is
    always an acolyte of God!
[09:50] ---
    Now that we're all here, shall we go?
[09:56] ---
    Everyone, we're here.
[09:58] ---
    That's Valhalla Castle,
    where the Prince of Darkness is!
[10:01] ---
    This offline mode is like
    a tutorial that ends
[10:03] ---
    once you defeat the Prince of Darkness.
[10:05] ---
    The Prince of Darkness
    can be defeated in a tutorial?
[10:08] ---
    Well, it is a Saga Prefecture
    Prince of Darkness...
[10:15] ---
    Looks like we've got monsters.
[10:17] ---
    What are these aliens?
[10:18] ---
    They're totally disgusting...
[10:20] ---
    They look just like poo!
[10:24] ---
    Dragon Gobies... They're
    Dragon Gobies, aren't they?!
[10:27] ---
    What the hell are "Dragon Gobies"?
[10:29] ---
    "Ariake Sea"
[10:29] ---
    Fish that inhabit the Ariake Sea in Kyushu.
[10:32] ---
    I ate 'em when we lived in Kyushu!
[10:35] ---
    You ate them?
[10:37] ---
    I can picture it, Aniki...
[10:39] ---
    They're "Dragon Gobie Soldiers,"
    the first of the small fry...
[10:43] ---
    They were put into the game
    because they look like aliens.
[10:46] ---
    Because of the way they look...
[10:47] ---
    Well, I'm gonna start a-killin'!
[10:50] ---
    Wait!
[10:51] ---
    Don't you feel sorry for them,
[10:52] ---
    being treated like monsters
    just because of the way they look?!
[10:55] ---
    The Dragon Gobies didn't
    ask to be born looking like this!
[10:59] ---
    Please, won't you just
    let them go on their way?!
[11:03] ---
    You're kind, Kodaka-sempai.
[11:06] ---
    You identify with their situation, don't you?
[11:09] ---
    Big Brother is a good person.
[11:12] ---
    Well, I guess that's just like you...
[11:16] ---
    Everyone!
[11:20] ---
    Eat this!
[11:22] ---
    D-Dragon Gobies!
[11:24] ---
    Why?! Why are you killing them?
[11:28] ---
    Come on, they're gross!
[11:30] ---
    Rika understands how you feel, but we
    can't move on until we get rid of them!
[11:34] ---
    Their deaths serve a purpose!
[11:35] ---
    They'll continue to live on
    inside us, as experience points!
[11:39] ---
    Begone, demon!
[11:44] ---
    This is samurai-like mercy.
[11:47] ---
    W-Why don't they attack?
[11:50] ---
    It's an unfinished product, so it looks like
[11:52] ---
    they haven't programmed
    the enemy attack patterns.
[11:57] ---
    I-It's too sad... Poor Dragon Gobies!
[12:02] ---
    They look scary, but they're delicious!
[12:08] ---
    Sounds like we've leveled up.
[12:10] ---
    Aniki, my skills have increased.
[12:12] ---
    I've learned magic!
[12:14] ---
    Did I get experience points too,
    even though I didn't fight?
[12:17] ---
    Yes, since we're all in the same party.
[12:18] ---
    "Believing in Tomorrow"
[12:19] ---
    I got a skill!
[12:21] ---
    Let's see...
[12:22] ---
    "Nothing will happen just from believing.
[12:25] ---
    Nothing will change in reality
    unless you actually take action"...
[12:31] ---
    Screw you...
[12:38] ---
    And so...
[12:39] ---
    ...we dispatched a variety
    of Dragon Gobie monsters...
[12:43] ---
    ...and finally arrived at Valhalla Castle.
[12:54] ---
    It's big...
[12:58] ---
    The Prince of Darkness
    is a Dragon Gobie too?!
[13:00] ---
    They must've used the same model!
[13:07] ---
    What kind of Prince of Darkness
    catches you off-guard with an attack?!
[13:10] ---
    It seems they haven't put
    in the dialog for him yet!
[13:14] ---
    Tough-skinned!
[13:21] ---
    Sena! Are you okay?
[13:24] ---
    It doesn't hurt... but I lost
    almost half my hit points.
[13:28] ---
    That's right! A time
    like this calls for healing!
[13:30] ---
    Where's Maria?
[13:33] ---
    Maria... What's wrong? Maria!
[13:36] ---
    Sempai, wait a moment, please.
[13:42] ---
    Maria-san is sleeping on the sofa.
[13:47] ---
    Useless little girl...
[13:49] ---
    You can say that again!
    But the fight's not interesting
[13:51] ---
    unless you can succeed like this.
[13:53] ---
    Meat! If I use my "Rose Guard,"
[13:55] ---
    it can nullify the enemy's
    slashing-type attack just once!
[13:59] ---
    So don't worry, just charge him head on!
[14:01] ---
    Got it!
[14:03] ---
    Blasting...
[14:05] ---
    ...Hammer!!
[14:06] ---
    Now! Yozora!
[14:10] ---
    The wall graphics look
    totally realistic too, don't they?
[14:14] ---
    Yozora!
[14:17] ---
    Sena!
[14:21] ---
    Yozora...
[14:22] ---
    All I did was tell her
    I could nullify its attack.
[14:26] ---
    I never said I'd use it on her behalf.
[14:28] ---
    You told her to charge it head on!
[14:30] ---
    I meant for her to charge and then die.
[14:32] ---
    Hey, you!
[14:35] ---
    What the hell did you do to me?!
[14:36] ---
    You... You...
[14:38] ---
    Huh? H-Hey!
[14:42] ---
    Rose Guard!
[14:47] ---
    That's amazing, Yozora!
[14:49] ---
    But I can't use this
    magic more than a few times!
[14:51] ---
    Yukimura! Rika!
[14:52] ---
    While I've got its attention,
    circle around and attack!
[14:56] ---
    Roger!
[14:56] ---
    Understood.
[15:17] ---
    Rose...
[15:19] ---
    Yozora?
[15:21] ---
    W-What?
[15:26] ---
    Hey! Are you all right?
[15:30] ---
    You... Meat!
[15:32] ---
    Dummy! Dummy!
[15:33] ---
    That's what you get for underestimating me!
[15:37] ---
    Don't tell me...
[15:38] ---
    ...she was tickling Yozora's real body!
[15:48] ---
    My ambition was to die
    on the field of battle...
[15:51] ---
    This game has balance issues...
[15:53] ---
    Yukimura! Rika!
[15:59] ---
    This is the end, huh?
[16:04] ---
    "Believing in Tomorrow"
[16:10] ---
    Bro!
[16:12] ---
    Maria!
[16:14] ---
    You woke up?
[16:16] ---
    Are you okay?
[16:18] ---
    I'm fine! Use your magic to...
[16:20] ---
    How dare you? Bastard!
[16:23] ---
    It was stupid of you to harm my other half!
[16:27] ---
    --Now, taste this true ancestor's
[16:28] ---
    --Hey, healing... magic...
[16:29] ---
    --fury and know the meaning of terror!
[16:33] ---
    I am the great--
[16:37] ---
    You... You're not...
[16:48] ---
    Maria?
[16:52] ---
    K-Kobato?
[16:54] ---
    This girl said she was going to save you.
[17:00] ---
    My other half, I was wondering what you do
[17:03] ---
    that always makes you come home late,
[17:05] ---
    but I didn't expect it
    to be kids' stuff like this.
[17:09] ---
    Who is this girl that
    looks exactly like Iris?
[17:11] ---
    Kodaka, do you know her?
[17:13] ---
    My little sister... Her
    name is Hasegawa Kobato.
[17:18] ---
    There's no way your little
    sister could be this cute!
[17:21] ---
    It's true!
[17:22] ---
    So, Kobato, what'd you
    come here for anyway?
[17:25] ---
    Kindred, recently your
    service to me has been lacking
[17:28] ---
    as you've been amusing
    yourself with these foolish mortals,
[17:32] ---
    so I've come here to supervise you.
[17:35] ---
    In other words, you didn't like it that
[17:37] ---
    Kodaka-sempai was
    putting the club ahead of you,
[17:39] ---
    so you came to check it out, right?
[17:42] ---
    N-Not at all!
[17:43] ---
    What, does this girl have a brother complex?
[17:46] ---
    What should I do? She's as
    cute as Rika-chan in Mofu Mofu!
[17:49] ---
    Would you stop comparing
    everything to video games? It's sick!
[17:52] ---
    True, I am at fault for
    always coming home late.
[17:56] ---
    I know!
[17:57] ---
    How about if I make pork bone
    broth ramen for you every Sunday?
[18:01] ---
    Pork bone broth ramen?! Every Sunday?!
[18:03] ---
    Will you put in a lot of garlic?!
[18:05] ---
    Sure, why not?
[18:06] ---
    Yay!
[18:08] ---
    Well, I can do some
    real cooking on my day off.
[18:12] ---
    And make your lunch, too...
[18:15] ---
    Lunch...
[18:16] ---
    Big Brother!
[18:20] ---
    Big Brother, did you
    defeat the Prince of Darkness?
[18:22] ---
    I'm glad you're safe!
[18:25] ---
    Maria, are you talking in your sleep?
[18:27] ---
    Talking in my sleep...?
[18:29] ---
    Oh, is the game over already?
[18:31] ---
    Sorry, Big Brother!
[18:33] ---
    I wanted to protect you...
[18:37] ---
    Idiot!
[18:38] ---
    Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
[18:41] ---
    Idiot!!
[18:43] ---
    What do you mean, "idiot"?!
[18:45] ---
    If you say "idiot," you're the idiot!
[18:47] ---
    Shut up, you idiot!
[18:48] ---
    Who the heck are you?!
[18:50] ---
    Kobato. She's my little sister.
[18:53] ---
    This is your little sister, Big Brother?
[18:55] ---
    You said "Big Brother" again!
[18:58] ---
    I... I'm no little sister...
[19:04] ---
    She's not your little sister?
[19:05] ---
    She is.
[19:06] ---
    You seem to be his little sister.
[19:08] ---
    I am a member of the Night Tribe
    and have lived for 10,000 years.
[19:11] ---
    We've been at war with you
    church dogs for many years now...
[19:16] ---
    We're feared by the humans,
    who call us "vampires"...
[19:20] ---
    Vampires! I know you!
[19:23] ---
    You're scary monsters!
[19:24] ---
    What's a vampire doing here?
[19:26] ---
    I'm here to make sure that my
    other half, the blood of my blood,
[19:29] ---
    doesn't get poisoned by
    an agent of the church!
[19:35] ---
    Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad
    idea to enter this club in jest.
[19:38] ---
    You're in the middle school!
[19:40] ---
    There's no rule that prohibits the
    middle school students from joining a club.
[19:45] ---
    Well, since she's your little sister,
    I guess it's not a problem...
[19:48] ---
    I mean, I have no reason to be against it,
[19:52] ---
    as I doubt she has any friends...
[19:55] ---
    My only friend is the darkness of night...
[19:58] ---
    So you don't have any friends, huh?
[20:01] ---
    Why are we letting a vampire in the club?!
[20:03] ---
    I'm against it!
[20:05] ---
    Don't you dare lay a hand on my kindred!
[20:07] ---
    Excuse me?!
[20:08] ---
    Big Brother is an apostle
    of God who makes me lunch!
[20:13] ---
    Die!
[20:14] ---
    I shall judge you in the name of God!
[20:17] ---
    No, it is you who shall shrink
    before my power of darkness!
[20:21] ---
    This is the power of darkness
    that once made a classroom shake!
[20:26] ---
    Hasegawa Cootie Touch!
[20:28] ---
    I-I touch you back!
[20:29] ---
    Cross Barrier!
[20:30] ---
    Too bad for you!
[20:31] ---
    --My Hyper-Barrier is on,
[20:31] ---
    --Cootie...
[20:32] ---
    --so you can't get through.
[20:33] ---
    --...Touch...
[20:34] ---
    --That's not fair!
[20:35] ---
    --It is fair! Church dog!
[20:35] ---
    --Stop that already with the
    "Hasegawa Cootie Touch"...
[20:38] ---
    You poopy! Stupid poopy!
[20:42] ---
    Shall we clean up?
[20:45] ---
    Yeah.
[20:47] ---
    In the end, there was no point to the game...
[20:51] ---
    If you'd protected me then, the
    Prince of Darkness would be toast by now!
[20:55] ---
    You weren't needed there.
[20:57] ---
    What's that?!
[20:59] ---
    The way you howled and
    waved that hammer around...
[21:01] ---
    --...you certainly fit the
    part of a primitive woman!
[21:01] ---
    --With their squabbling,
    they're no different.
[21:03] ---
    --I was a blacksmith! A civilized person!
[21:04] ---
    --I guess we shouldn't
    play games with those two.
[21:06] ---
    --Sorry, I don't understand monkey language!
[21:08] ---
    --Really? Rika had a good time.
[21:09] ---
    --Speak human!
[21:12] ---
    It was the first time Rika played
    a video game with other people,
[21:15] ---
    but it was a lot of fun!
[21:31] ---
    Yozora-sempai, your
    scream earlier was really cute!
[21:35] ---
    Rika may have a crush on you!
[21:37] ---
    D-Don't call me cute!
[21:40] ---
    Rose...
[21:42] ---
    W-Wench!
[21:43] ---
    Meat! I'll get you back for
    that someday, 1,000 times over!
[22:10] ---
    Bro...
[22:12] ---
    My bro isn't really...
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking
    that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:58] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:01] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:50] ---
    Vampire, take this!
[23:53] ---
    As a true descendant of the
    Night Tribe, I possess far greater power
[23:55] ---
    than the average vampire,
    so that doesn't work on me at all!
[23:58] ---
    That's not fair!
[23:59] ---
    I told you that doesn't work!
    So knock it off, little kid!
[24:03] ---
    I'm not a kid! I'm a full-fledged adult!
[24:06] ---
    And I have a lot of adult knowledge!
[24:08] ---
    Adult knowledge?
[24:09] ---
    Like se--
[24:10] ---
    Next time: "There Aren't Many
    Customers at the Karaoke Box!"
[24:10] ---
    Next time: "There Aren't Many
    Customers at the Karaoke Box!"
[24:13] ---
    When you get under the futon
    covers together with the man you love
[24:15] ---
    and you count the cracks
    in the ceiling, that's se--
[24:17] ---
    Begone, apostle of God!

Season 1

6 - There Aren't Many Customers at the Karaoke Box

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] ---
    We're going to move?
[00:13] ---
    Two weeks from now?
[00:19] ---
    But...
[00:24] ---
    What's wrong, Taka? You've
    been acting weird these days.
[00:29] ---
    I need to talk to you about something.
[00:31] ---
    What is it?
[00:33] ---
    It's important, but I'll tell you tomorrow.
[00:37] ---
    Make sure you come here.
[00:40] ---
    In that case, I have something really
    important to tell you tomorrow too, Taka.
[00:45] ---
    Got it.
[00:46] ---
    My news was about moving two days later...
[00:51] ---
    ...but...
[00:52] ---
    ...the next day, I waited until the
    sun went down, but he never showed.
[00:57] ---
    I left this town without even
    saying goodbye to my only friend.
[01:06] ---
    A dream?
[01:08] ---
    What's with Kobato?
[01:12] ---
    Huh? What was I dreaming about again?
[01:33] ---
    WANAWANA
[01:34] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[01:35] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:37] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[01:42] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:50] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:54] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[01:57] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[02:01] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[02:04] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[02:08] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[02:15] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[02:17] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[02:23] ---
    SOWASOWA
[02:24] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:26] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[02:28] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:31] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[02:35] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[02:40] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[02:44] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:47] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:51] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[02:55] ---
    "There Aren't Many Customers
    at the Karaoke Box"
[02:59] ---
    The first semester has
    ended before I knew it...
[03:03] ---
    Yeah, now that you mention it,
    summer vacation starts tomorrow.
[03:06] ---
    As you know, the purpose of the
    Neighbors Club is to "make friends."
[03:11] ---
    So, who among us has made any friends?
[03:16] ---
    Who among us has plans to spend
    a fun-filled summer with friends?
[03:20] ---
    Actually, I think I've got a worse
    reputation now than before I joined this club...
[03:25] ---
    Me too. Earlier...
[03:26] ---
    "I hear Kashiwazaki-san is going
    out with that Yankee in class 5!"
[03:32] ---
    ...is what I overheard girls
    in my class gossiping about.
[03:35] ---
    I'll get them for that...
[03:37] ---
    How can I put it...? Sorry...
[03:40] ---
    Y-You don't owe me an apology, Kodaka...
[03:44] ---
    What have you done for
    club activities so far?
[03:48] ---
    Um, what was it...?
[03:49] ---
    We played video games...
    and played video games...
[03:53] ---
    Practiced role-playing...
[03:55] ---
    Played video games...
[03:56] ---
    So basically, you just fooled around.
[03:59] ---
    "This is like a real idol concert!"
[04:01] ---
    Hey, let me ask you something...
[04:03] ---
    Have you guys ever been to a karaoke box?
[04:06] ---
    Well, yeah, several times
    when I was at previous schools.
[04:09] ---
    I have, too.
[04:12] ---
    Why are you so surprised?
[04:14] ---
    It's hard to imagine you as
    someone who does karaoke...
[04:18] ---
    I may not look like it,
[04:19] ---
    but I've been to all of the
    karaoke boxes in the city.
[04:23] ---
    That's impressive!
[04:25] ---
    Going to every single karaoke
    box in the city by yourself...
[04:28] ---
    Why do you jump to the
    conclusion that I was alone?!
[04:30] ---
    Karaoke boxes are obviously
    a place to go with friends!
[04:34] ---
    It's fun singing karaoke with friends!
[04:37] ---
    Not only is Tomo-chan a good singer,
[04:39] ---
    she's also a great listener
    and keeps the mood merry,
[04:41] ---
    so time always flies by.
[04:43] ---
    Right, Tomo-chan. Her air friend.
[04:46] ---
    What's that pitying look for?
[04:48] ---
    Oh, nothing...
[04:50] ---
    Even Kodaka and Yozora have been to one...
[04:53] ---
    Sena, you've never been to a karaoke box?
[04:56] ---
    No...
[04:57] ---
    Want me to apologize?!
[04:58] ---
    You think a classy girl like myself
[05:00] ---
    would bother with a lowbrow
    plebeian pastime like karaoke?!
[05:03] ---
    I'm not interested in it at all!
[05:06] ---
    And when I never got invited to go in
    middle school, I wasn't sad in the least!
[05:09] ---
    All right, got it! Calm down!
[05:11] ---
    Sempai...
[05:12] ---
    Rika has never been to a karaoke box either.
[05:14] ---
    Rika's been interested in
    going for a long time now...
[05:17] ---
    ...but it's hard entering a
    lively place like that all by yourself.
[05:21] ---
    So next time, how about
    going to karaoke together?
[05:24] ---
    Yeah, why not?
[05:26] ---
    Thank you!
[05:27] ---
    W-Wait, Kodaka! If you want to
    go to a karaoke box, leave it to me.
[05:30] ---
    I know a good place.
[05:32] ---
    You'll lead the way? That'll help.
[05:36] ---
    Aniki...
[05:37] ---
    I haven't ever been to
    a karaoke place either.
[05:42] ---
    Now I'm in the mood to
    perform "Chaos Requiem," too.
[05:46] ---
    Okay, when should we go?
[05:48] ---
    How about tomorrow, our
    first day of summer vacation?
[05:50] ---
    I'm free tomorrow afternoon.
[05:52] ---
    Rika can go anytime!
[05:54] ---
    Me too.
[05:56] ---
    Then tomorrow it is.
[05:57] ---
    Where should we meet?
[05:59] ---
    The karaoke box I have in mind
[06:00] ---
    is a ten-minute walk from
    Tooya Nishi Station.
[06:02] ---
    Then let's meet in front of
    the Nishi Station ticket gates.
[06:05] ---
    What time?
[06:07] ---
    W-Wait a second!
[06:09] ---
    U-Um...
[06:10] ---
    What is it, Meat?
[06:11] ---
    Right now, we're discussing
    our plans to go to a karaoke box...
[06:15] ---
    you know, that lowbrow plebeian pastime
[06:18] ---
    a classy girl like Meat-*sama
    *has absolutely no interest in.
[06:24] ---
    So, Meat, is there something
    you're wanting to say?
[06:27] ---
    If not, this has nothing to do with you.
[06:30] ---
    We want to talk about our plan for tomorrow.
[06:33] ---
    I-I, uh...
[06:36] ---
    That place's free time starts at 1:00,
    so that's when we'll meet up, all right?
[06:41] ---
    Make sure you have lunch beforehand.
[06:43] ---
    Don't ignore me!
[06:44] ---
    What is it, Meat?
[06:45] ---
    Don't tell me you want to enjoy a
    lowbrow plebeian pastime like karaoke?
[06:51] ---
    I-I didn't say I wanted to go...
[06:54] ---
    Hey, if you want to come with,
    you should just be honest and say so.
[06:57] ---
    What? You want to come with us?
[07:00] ---
    I-I want to...
[07:02] ---
    ...g-go with you guys.
[07:05] ---
    I can't hear you!
[07:07] ---
    I...
[07:08] ---
    I want to go with you!
[07:10] ---
    What was that?
[07:11] ---
    I wanna go with you guys to sing karaoke!
[07:13] ---
    I see. I understand how you feel.
[07:17] ---
    But the thing is, I don't
    want to go with you.
[07:22] ---
    If you really, really want me
    to take you, try begging me.
[07:25] ---
    B-Begging?
[07:27] ---
    Put your heart into it and plead,
    "Please take me with you."
[07:32] ---
    P-Please take me w-with y-you...
[07:39] ---
    Huh? I couldn't hear that very well.
[07:43] ---
    What about the begging part, Cow Udders?
[07:46] ---
    Oh, Yukimura-kun, would you
    get Rika another cup of coffee?
[07:50] ---
    So I can hear you!
[07:51] ---
    Politely, and put your heart into it!
[07:53] ---
    I beg you, please take me with you!
[07:58] ---
    Well spoken.
[08:00] ---
    But I refuse.
[08:01] ---
    What do I have to do, idiot?!
[08:03] ---
    I'm going tomorrow!
[08:05] ---
    Why would I need your permission
    to go in the first place, Yozora?!
[08:08] ---
    You finally figured that out? You really
    are lacking in the brains department!
[08:16] ---
    Stupid!
[08:18] ---
    Die, stupid Yozora!
[08:22] ---
    Now, why don't we decide
    on the real time and place?
[08:26] ---
    Are you a devil?!
[08:28] ---
    That was a joke.
[08:31] ---
    I have an appointment tomorrow at 1:00,
[08:33] ---
    so have lunch prepared earlier than usual.
[08:35] ---
    An appointment... with friends?
[08:38] ---
    O-Of course not!
[08:43] ---
    It's just with club members.
[08:44] ---
    If I don't go, nothing will happen.
[08:48] ---
    What kind of club activity is it?
[08:49] ---
    Karaoke.
[08:51] ---
    I'm going to ambush Yozora and
    Kodaka with my wonderful singing voice!
[08:55] ---
    Ah, I wanna sing a duet with Kobato-chan!
[08:58] ---
    Kodaka?
[09:02] ---
    Tooya Nishi, Tooya Nishi...
[09:06] ---
    Aren't you hot wearing that?
[09:10] ---
    A true heir of the Night
    Tribe transcends even heat.
[09:13] ---
    You're not transcending it at all!
[09:17] ---
    Everyone's over there.
[09:19] ---
    Now that we're all here, shall we go?
[09:21] ---
    You guys are all early. It's ten
    minutes before the meeting time.
[09:25] ---
    I got here five minutes after Rika.
[09:27] ---
    I arrived twenty minutes
    before you did, Aniki.
[09:31] ---
    Rika came fifteen minutes before Sena-sempai.
[09:35] ---
    I was here five minutes
    before Yukimura-kun showed up.
[09:38] ---
    Why are you guys talking
    like it's a math quiz?
[09:42] ---
    Kobato, based on what they just said,
[09:44] ---
    try to figure out when each of them arrived!
[09:47] ---
    We arrived at exactly 12:50.
[09:51] ---
    You have until we arrive at
    the karaoke place to answer.
[09:54] ---
    Um...
[09:57] ---
    If I access the Akashic Records,
[09:59] ---
    I'll be able to solve a
    problem like this easily.
[10:03] ---
    Give me a minute.
[10:05] ---
    It's not that big a deal...
[10:08] ---
    We're not there yet?!
[10:10] ---
    Quiet, Meat. We're almost there.
[10:12] ---
    What's the name of the karaoke box?
[10:15] ---
    "Cry from the Abyss."
[10:17] ---
    What kind of place is that?
[10:20] ---
    Hey, Taka!
[10:24] ---
    You're slow, Taka!
[10:25] ---
    Wait for me!
[10:27] ---
    Kodaka! What's wrong?
[10:31] ---
    Bro!
[10:32] ---
    Yeah...
[10:33] ---
    There!
[10:40] ---
    "Karaoke Box"
[10:40] ---
    "Cry from the Abyss"
[10:43] ---
    Welcome.
[10:44] ---
    So this is a karaoke box?
[10:46] ---
    Free time and drink bar!
[10:48] ---
    Um... There are six of you?
[10:52] ---
    Y-Yes, six...
[10:55] ---
    All right.
[10:57] ---
    The total for free time
    and drink bar for six people...
[11:00] ---
    ...is 5,400 yen.
[11:03] ---
    --5,400 yen?! Why is it that expensive?!
[11:04] ---
    --Brother! Brother!
[11:07] ---
    Um, free time for one person is 650 yen.
[11:10] ---
    The drink bar is 250 yen.
    So 900 yen per person...
[11:15] ---
    What?!
[11:16] ---
    Just to confirm, I'll ask again...
[11:17] ---
    --You mean one room for six people, right?
[11:17] ---
    --We arrived at 12:50! Right?! Am I right?!
[11:19] ---
    --Yeah.
[11:20] ---
    --Wait a second.
[11:24] ---
    What's wrong?
[11:25] ---
    The total doesn't make sense.
[11:26] ---
    What do you mean?
[11:28] ---
    The drink bar for 250 yen a person is fine...
[11:31] ---
    ...but why do each of us
    have to pay for the room?
[11:35] ---
    Is that strange?
[11:36] ---
    Meat, what do you do at a karaoke box?
[11:39] ---
    Sing songs, right?
[11:41] ---
    Exactly!
[11:42] ---
    In one room, whether
    one person sings 30 songs,
[11:45] ---
    or six people sing five songs
    each, it's the same 30 songs!
[11:50] ---
    So why do we have to pay six
    times for the cost of the room?
[11:53] ---
    In other words, it's a scam?
[11:56] ---
    Close to it!
[11:57] ---
    This never happened when
    I came here with Tomo-chan.
[12:01] ---
    Hold on! You can't count
    Tomo-chan as a person!
[12:04] ---
    Besides, isn't that how
    all karaoke boxes charge?
[12:08] ---
    No, strange is strange.
[12:10] ---
    This is rare, but I agree with you.
[12:13] ---
    Daddy once told me that
    the people who stand on top
[12:15] ---
    mustn't overlook the
    unnatural movement of money.
[12:18] ---
    I've got it. Why don't we do this?
[12:26] ---
    Not bad for a slab of meat.
[12:30] ---
    Forget what I said about six people.
[12:33] ---
    As usual, free time and
    drink bar for 900 yen!
[12:38] ---
    I'm acquainted with those people,
    but I'm not here with them.
[12:41] ---
    We just happened to
    come here at the same time.
[12:44] ---
    Fine.
[12:45] ---
    That's 900 yen for one person.
[12:49] ---
    Um, this is my first time, but...
[12:52] ---
    Free time and drink bar for one person!
[12:57] ---
    What are they doing?
[12:57] ---
    --I'll make cards for the first-timers.
[12:58] ---
    --Rika supposes we all sing separately.
[13:01] ---
    Then what's the point of
    us coming here together?
[13:04] ---
    Th-That'll be 900 yen...
[13:07] ---
    Kodaka, it's your turn.
[13:09] ---
    We'll go on ahead.
[13:11] ---
    H-How many people?
[13:13] ---
    Um... four.
[13:16] ---
    You're sure, four people?!
[13:18] ---
    Y-Yes...
[13:19] ---
    Thank you!
[13:21] ---
    It's okay, right?
[13:22] ---
    Yes! Let's sing a duet!
[13:24] ---
    As long as I can be in the
    same room with you, Aniki...
[13:27] ---
    It seems the time has come for
    you to hear my beautiful voice.
[13:30] ---
    All right, I'll make a member card for you.
[13:33] ---
    Yeah, sure.
[13:36] ---
    Is something wrong?
[13:37] ---
    N-Nothing!
[13:41] ---
    That's 3,600 yen.
[13:43] ---
    Yeah, okay.
[13:47] ---
    So this is what it looks like...
[13:48] ---
    Wheee!
[13:50] ---
    Please go first, Kodaka-sempai!
[13:53] ---
    You want me to start? Let's see...
[13:55] ---
    --Orange juice, iced au lait, cola,
[13:55] ---
    --Pump it full of your coolness!
[13:58] ---
    --and a seaweed drink, please.
[13:58] ---
    --Pump it?
[14:00] ---
    I'll put this stiff black thing right here.
[14:02] ---
    Call it a mic!
[14:12] ---
    Guess I'll go...
[14:14] ---
    Aniki!
[14:16] ---
    ♪ Sometimes I think that
    everything might be a dream. ♪
[14:23] ---
    ♪ The scene I think you once looked at ♪
[14:27] ---
    ♪ is where I'm standing now. ♪
[14:29] ---
    ♪ I wonder what you were
    thinking when you were here. ♪
[14:33] ---
    ♪ I wanted to ask you something... ♪
[14:38] ---
    Bro!
[14:40] ---
    You have a wonderful singing voice, Aniki!
[14:42] ---
    Sempai, you have a great voice!
[14:44] ---
    Rika thinks she's going to get wet!
[14:47] ---
    This makes me recall
[14:49] ---
    running through the moonless
    night with you seven years ago...
[14:51] ---
    I have no memory of that.
[14:54] ---
    It's Rika's turn!
[14:59] ---
    ♪ Racing to the crack of dawn... ♪
[15:00] ---
    "The Way a Man Lives"
[15:02] ---
    --Yukimura?
[15:02] ---
    --♪ Let's welcome the hour ♪
[15:04] ---
    ♪ that the light leads to... ♪
[15:06] ---
    ♪ Feel it at an accelerating speed. ♪
[15:09] ---
    --♪ You can leave the
    consequences to me. ♪
[15:11] ---
    --I wonder if they're singing now, too...
[15:15] ---
    ...alone...
[15:20] ---
    How was that love-mic finish?!
[15:22] ---
    Did you feel a tingle?
[15:24] ---
    Absolutely not!
[15:25] ---
    I spent all last night thinking about it!
[15:29] ---
    I'm up next.
[15:30] ---
    I dedicate this song to you, Aniki.
[15:33] ---
    I see. Then go for it, Yukimura.
[15:36] ---
    If I went to their rooms to hear them,
    I wonder if they'd be pissed...
[15:42] ---
    They have it! "Go! Go! Guernica-chan!"
[15:45] ---
    Good for you.
[15:49] ---
    ♪ When life burns... ♪
[15:57] ---
    "The Season for Two"
[16:04] ---
    Have your fill of my beautiful voice!
[16:09] ---
    "The Season for Two"
[16:23] ---
    ♪ Through the window, ♪
[16:26] ---
    ♪ I was watching your back ♪
[16:30] ---
    ♪ as you walked away. ♪
[16:35] ---
    ♪ I averted my eyes from the rain
    that seemed to be pouring stronger ♪
[16:44] ---
    ♪ than it is now. ♪
[16:49] ---
    ♪ I didn't notice that
    you were too close. ♪
[16:54] ---
    ♪ That "farewell" I saw
    in my dream hurts. ♪
[17:00] ---
    ♪ Now I understand your tears. ♪
[17:06] ---
    ♪ We can never meet again;
    I can't keep the promise. ♪
[17:12] ---
    ♪ "I won't hurt you." ♪
[17:15] ---
    ♪ And there's nothing I can
    do to stop you from leaving. ♪
[17:32] ---
    My throat hurts from singing too much...
[17:34] ---
    Sempai, if you spoke to
    Rika with that sadistic voice,
[17:38] ---
    it might bring out the "M" in her!
[17:40] ---
    Your voice gives me chills, Aniki.
[17:47] ---
    What's wrong with you two?
[17:49] ---
    It's Meat's fault.
[17:50] ---
    It's stupid Yozora's fault.
[17:52] ---
    Just how much spirit did
    you put into the singing?
[17:54] ---
    There's a scoring mode, right?
[17:56] ---
    I used that the whole time.
[17:58] ---
    It shows the rankings.
[18:00] ---
    When I started, impudently enough,
    the name "NIGHT" was top-ranked.
[18:05] ---
    I figured it was Yozora...
    
[18:07] ---
    Just when I was trying to fill
    up all of the slots with my name,
[18:11] ---
    suddenly the unpleasant name
    "SENA" started cutting in...
[18:16] ---
    They were in separate
    rooms and still fighting...?
[18:19] ---
    So who won?
[18:21] ---
    I did!
[18:22] ---
    First place was my 99 points!
[18:25] ---
    That was just by chance!
[18:27] ---
    I dominated places 2 through 11
    with 98 points across the board!
[18:30] ---
    That means nothing if you
    don't get first place!
[18:32] ---
    Besides, I had more 97-point scores than you!
[18:36] ---
    Liar! I had one more 97 score than you!
[18:39] ---
    That's a dirty lie, Meat!
[18:41] ---
    It's the truth, tone-deaf Yozora!
[18:43] ---
    That was fun, wasn't it, Sempai?
    Let's come back again sometime.
[18:46] ---
    Yeah...
[18:48] ---
    Thank you!
[18:52] ---
    So is this our last club
    activity for the first semester?
[18:56] ---
    I guess so...
[18:57] ---
    So Rika has to wait forty days before
    she can fool around with you, Sempai?
[19:01] ---
    Hold it, Rika! Don't talk like
    we've been fooling around all this time!
[19:05] ---
    So I can't be Aniki's
    gofer for a long time...
[19:09] ---
    What the hell are you talking about?!
[19:11] ---
    Even during summer vacation, we're
    going to have normal club activities.
[19:14] ---
    We're gonna have club
    activities even over the summer?
[19:16] ---
    The sports and cultural
    clubs will still meet regularly,
[19:19] ---
    so why would we take a vacation?
[19:21] ---
    In the first place, summer is the season
[19:23] ---
    when the normal kids have enriching lives.
[19:25] ---
    Since our goal is to enter
    their ranks in the future,
[19:28] ---
    we need to train in the summer, lest
    our hopes for normality die on the vine.
[19:32] ---
    It's like the logic of
    pouring boiling water in a glass,
[19:34] ---
    which isn't used to it, so it cracks, right?
[19:37] ---
    Yes, that's right.
[19:38] ---
    That's thermal expansion!
[19:40] ---
    Our next meeting will be next Monday.
[19:42] ---
    Each of you think about why you
    haven't been able to make any friends
[19:45] ---
    --up to summer vacation...
[19:45] ---
    --I know!
[19:46] ---
    What is it, Meat?
[19:47] ---
    I think the reason for our collective
    failure is that Yozora is too incompetent!
[19:52] ---
    Actually, I can think of
    several causes as well.
[19:55] ---
    One is that you're too stupid, Meat!
[19:58] ---
    Another is that you're really annoying!
[20:00] ---
    Between your pea-brain and your inability
    to do anything, your whole existence
[20:03] ---
    to the club... no, to the world...
[20:05] ---
    is of no value, and actually a minus!
[20:08] ---
    You'd go that far?!
[20:09] ---
    Certainly, I said too much.
[20:11] ---
    Even though it's impossible to expound fully
[20:14] ---
    on how you're a hazardous
    substance to the world,
[20:17] ---
    I wasted too many words trying to attempt it.
[20:18] ---
    Like, you're stupid!
[20:19] ---
    --Is it okay to leave them?
[20:19] ---
    --You're an idiot! You're annoying!
[20:20] ---
    --Don't turn around.
[20:20] ---
    --You're worthless! You're garbage!
[20:22] ---
    --Aniki...
[20:22] ---
    --You're lower than a fly!
[20:23] ---
    --Don't turn around!
[20:23] ---
    --You're a cockroach! You're poo!
[20:24] ---
    --Understood.
[20:25] ---
    --Even calling you a walking sewage
[20:25] ---
    --Hey... Yozora... people are...
[20:28] ---
    --machine would be a waste of words!
[20:30] ---
    ...looking...
[20:31] ---
    Idiot!!
[20:32] ---
    Yozora, you idiot! Dumbass! Die! Stupid!
[20:39] ---
    She's hopeless...
[20:45] ---
    It's been one month since the club started...
[20:49] ---
    It all started with her...
[20:52] ---
    Yozora!
[20:54] ---
    This past month has been kind of fun.
[20:57] ---
    Thanks.
[21:05] ---
    Kodaka!!
[21:07] ---
    Sena!
[21:10] ---
    I forgot to tell you...
[21:12] ---
    When I was talking to Daddy yesterday,
[21:14] ---
    he said he has some free
    time over the summer,
[21:16] ---
    so you can come over anytime.
[21:19] ---
    It seems like he wants to meet you, too.
[21:22] ---
    Oh, I see. In that case, I'll visit soon.
[21:24] ---
    Tell me when you're coming too, okay?
[21:26] ---
    Sure.
[21:27] ---
    W-Wait a second!
[21:28] ---
    Why would Kodaka go to your house, Meat,
[21:30] ---
    and pay his respects to your f-father?!
[21:34] ---
    Hmm?
[21:35] ---
    Well, we're--
[21:36] ---
    Kodaka!
[21:37] ---
    Keep that a secret. It could lead to trouble.
[21:41] ---
    Oh, I see. Okay.
[21:44] ---
    True, it's better not to advertise
[21:46] ---
    that the president of the school used
    his authority to expedite my admission.
[21:51] ---
    S-Secret?!
[21:53] ---
    It has nothing to do with you, Yozora.
[21:56] ---
    Whether Kodaka comes to
    my house or meets my daddy,
[22:00] ---
    it doesn't have a thing
    to do with you, Yozora.
[22:04] ---
    Bye, Kodaka! I'll see you soon!
[22:07] ---
    Yeah.
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:42] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte
    ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:59] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:51] ---
    Kodaka-sempai! Rika is so happy
[23:53] ---
    we get to see each other over
    the summer through the club!
[23:55] ---
    I'm really happy I can meet you too, Aniki!
[23:57] ---
    Do you two really have that
    little to do over summer vacation?
[24:00] ---
    Do you have things to do, Sempai?
[24:01] ---
    Well, no, but...
[24:02] ---
    Rika knew it!
[24:03] ---
    Then over the next forty days,
[24:04] ---
    let's do all kinds of
    perverted stuff with each other!
[24:07] ---
    For the next forty days,
    I'll be at your beck and call, Aniki.
[24:10] ---
    Jeez, you two...
[24:12] ---
    Next time: "My Cell Phone
    Doesn't Get Many Calls."
[24:12] ---
    "Next time: My Cell Phone
    Doesn't Get Many Calls."
[24:15] ---
    Huh? Aniki's gone.
[24:16] ---
    I have no means of contacting Sempai!

Season 1

7 - My Cell Phone Doesn't Get Many Calls

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    You're really going out in that?
[00:19] ---
    I've told you before that a true heir
    of the Night Tribe transcends heat.
[00:29] ---
    Even hotter today...
[00:35] ---
    Abominable light of the sun...
[00:38] ---
    You may look forward to the day
[00:41] ---
    the Night Tribe plunges
    the world into darkness.
[00:49] ---
    Right now, I wouldn't object to that...
[01:03] ---
    QUIVER
[01:04] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness
[01:06] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:08] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:12] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[01:21] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:24] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[01:27] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:31] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[01:34] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:38] ---
    If a group of unlucky
    people gathered together,
[01:45] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[01:47] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[01:54] ---
    FIDGET
[01:54] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[01:56] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[01:58] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[02:01] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:05] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:10] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:14] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:17] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[02:21] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[02:25] ---
    "My Cell Phone Doesn't Get Many Calls"
[02:32] ---
    I'm alive again...
[02:34] ---
    Aniki...
[02:35] ---
    You must be exhausted.
[02:37] ---
    So you finally made it, Kodaka?
[02:40] ---
    The same time we always
    meet after school, right?
[02:43] ---
    It's summer vacation, so what would
    be the point of meeting at the usual time?
[02:47] ---
    When did you guys get here?
[02:49] ---
    About 1:00.
[02:50] ---
    When I got here, Meat
    was already playing a game.
[02:53] ---
    Sena got here a little before Yozora.
[02:57] ---
    Everyone's so early...
[02:59] ---
    How about you, Yukimura?
[03:00] ---
    I was here at 8:00.
[03:02] ---
    If I were ever here later than you, Aniki,
[03:04] ---
    I would have to commit seppuku, so...
[03:06] ---
    I don't think you should be
    prepared to do that over a club...
[03:10] ---
    This is your meal for today, Aniki.
[03:12] ---
    Well, actually, I had lunch at home...
[03:14] ---
    And you don't have to fix me
    snacks even during summer break.
[03:18] ---
    Does this mean you're
    relieving me of my post?
[03:22] ---
    Aniki doesn't need me anymore...
[03:26] ---
    Since it's come to this, I will meet
    my end by committing seppuku.
[03:29] ---
    Wait, I need you! I couldn't do without you!
[03:33] ---
    Hey, hey! Brother, you're not gonna eat that?
[03:37] ---
    I see...
[03:38] ---
    She was waiting for me to bring her lunch...
[03:41] ---
    Um, Yukimura. Is it okay if
    I give the pastries to Maria?
[03:45] ---
    I mean, I'd be grateful if
    you prepared lunch for Maria,
[03:48] ---
    instead of me, during summer vacation.
[03:51] ---
    It's improper for a samurai
    to serve two masters.
[03:55] ---
    This guy's a pain in the ass...
[03:57] ---
    Yukimura! Maria is, um...
[04:00] ---
    She's like my little sister.
[04:02] ---
    It's not especially improper
[04:04] ---
    for a samurai to look after the
    little sister of his master, is it?
[04:06] ---
    True... I mean...
[04:08] ---
    That would actually be a great honor!
[04:11] ---
    Little sister?
[04:13] ---
    Brother's little sister?
[04:17] ---
    Maria-dono...
[04:18] ---
    In accordance with Aniki's command,
[04:20] ---
    from today on, I will be in
    charge of preparing your meals.
[04:23] ---
    I'm counting on you!
[04:27] ---
    So these are convenience store pastries?!
[04:30] ---
    Look at all the additives in here!
[04:36] ---
    Deeelicious!
[04:37] ---
    This looks incredibly unhealthy!
[04:40] ---
    A real man isn't bothered by additives.
[04:43] ---
    Yukimura, from tomorrow on,
    only bring healthy stuff for Maria.
[04:48] ---
    Understood, Aniki.
[04:50] ---
    If you give your dog a taste of luxury,
    disciplining it becomes a major pain.
[05:01] ---
    Well, I'll see you later.
[05:08] ---
    God, it's hot...
[05:09] ---
    You're working as hard as ever, Aniki.
[05:12] ---
    Where are the others?
[05:14] ---
    The girls aren't here yet.
[05:16] ---
    Maria-dono remembered a duty
    she had to do as a sister
[05:19] ---
    and went home.
[05:21] ---
    I see.
[05:22] ---
    Did you give Maria lunch?
[05:23] ---
    Yes. Just as you instructed,
    I was careful to make it healthy.
[05:27] ---
    Something nutritious...
[05:29] ---
    Protein?
[05:31] ---
    Did Maria eat all that?!
[05:33] ---
    It was your order, Aniki,
[05:34] ---
    so I hardened
    my heart and forced her to eat it.
[05:38] ---
    Seriously?
[05:40] ---
    Now I understand how Hashiba Hideyoshi
    felt when he executed Manpukumaru.
[05:45] ---
    Manpukumaru?
    
[05:46] ---
    He was the eldest son of Azai Nagamasa,
    who was overthrown by Oda Nobunaga.
[05:50] ---
    But he was crucified at
    the tender age of ten.
[05:53] ---
    I'm sure that when Manpukumaru met
    his end, he screamed just like she did today.
[05:57] ---
    Screamed?!
[05:59] ---
    Just like she did?!
[06:01] ---
    Maria-dono remembered a duty she
    had to do as a sister and went home.
[06:04] ---
    Remembered... Remembered...
[06:11] ---
    F-From tomorrow on, please make it something
[06:14] ---
    that tastes good and is low in additives.
[06:16] ---
    I don't want her going through
    Manpukumaru's tragedy again!
[06:19] ---
    Understood. Please leave it to me.
[06:31] ---
    So no one's coming after all...
[06:33] ---
    You're working hard, Aniki.
[06:40] ---
    Hey, everyone...
[06:42] ---
    Why didn't any of you come yesterday?
[06:44] ---
    Kodaka-sempai! Were you lonely
    because you couldn't meet Rika?
[06:48] ---
    It's not like I was
    particularly lonely, but...
[06:51] ---
    I had something to do yesterday.
[06:53] ---
    I had a hard time yesterday, too.
[06:56] ---
    A hard time?
[06:57] ---
    The game was almost over,
[06:59] ---
    so I thought I'd come here
    as soon as I saw the ending...
[07:01] ---
    ...but then it actually took
    me about four more hours!
[07:04] ---
    Longer than I expected!
[07:06] ---
    But I was really moved, so I don't mind...
[07:08] ---
    I mean, when Mikane
    reaches the goal, it's so touching!
[07:14] ---
    So you were playing a game...
[07:16] ---
    I'll lend it to you! Play it, too, Kodaka!
[07:19] ---
    It'll be a missed opportunity if you don't!
[07:21] ---
    After you see the ending, if you
    start over again from the beginning,
[07:24] ---
    it ties in with the last scene--
[07:27] ---
    B-By the way...!
[07:28] ---
    What?
[07:29] ---
    I think we should do something
[07:31] ---
    so we all know what time we're
    meeting here and who can't make it.
[07:34] ---
    You may have something there...
[07:36] ---
    That's not a bad idea
    coming from you, Kodaka.
[07:39] ---
    So how do we do it?
[07:41] ---
    Um... a Net bulletin board?
[07:44] ---
    --Forget it!
    - -No way!
[07:45] ---
    A flat-out no?! Why?!
[07:47] ---
    Other than for mail orders
    and researching things,
[07:49] ---
    I try to use the Net as little as possible.
[07:51] ---
    Oh, really?
[07:52] ---
    Yes. Recently.
[07:54] ---
    I did something last time...
[07:56] ---
    I'm not even gonna ask what it was.
[07:59] ---
    Thank you.
[08:00] ---
    I've had a bad experience with Net
    bulletin boards too, so I don't wanna use one.
[08:05] ---
    Just remembering it ticks me off!
[08:07] ---
    The way those trolls treated me!
[08:09] ---
    I'll never forgive them!
[08:12] ---
    Did you get in an argument?
[08:14] ---
    After all, those morons were
    calling my Natsumi a hot-blooded idiot!
[08:19] ---
    I couldn't just let that slide!
[08:20] ---
    Despite the way she looks,
    Natsumi has a pretty sensitive side.
[08:24] ---
    Despite the way she looks...?
[08:26] ---
    Badmouthing Natsumi in front
    of me is a declaration of war!
[08:30] ---
    Either they admit how
    stupid they are and apologize,
[08:33] ---
    or we fight until one side is decimated!
[08:37] ---
    Anyway, bulletin boards
    are no good for you, right?
[08:39] ---
    Then how about that, you know, SNS
    thing that's popular these days, like Nixi?
[08:45] ---
    You use Nixi, Kodaka?
[08:47] ---
    In that case, invite me!
[08:48] ---
    No, I don't use it... and I'm
    guessing you don't either, Sena.
[08:51] ---
    Nope.
[08:52] ---
    How about you, Yozora?
[08:54] ---
    There's no way I could become a member.
[08:56] ---
    Me neither.
[08:58] ---
    Rika isn't a member either!
[09:00] ---
    Basically, if a real friend
    doesn't invite you, you can't join.
[09:05] ---
    We can't even join Nixi?
[09:09] ---
    But... Nixi isn't the only
    social networking service!
[09:12] ---
    There are lots where
    you don't need an invitation.
[09:15] ---
    Um, Kodaka-sempai...
[09:17] ---
    Can't we just keep in touch
    with each other using our cells?
[09:22] ---
    Cells?!
[09:23] ---
    Do you mean "cell phones"?
[09:26] ---
    Uh huh...
[09:28] ---
    That's right. I can use my cell phone
    to do more than just call home...
[09:33] ---
    Rika, you're a genius!
[09:35] ---
    Certainly, that never crossed my mind.
[09:38] ---
    I suppose my cell phone *isn't
    *just a tool to look for karaoke shops!
[09:42] ---
    Shiguma Rika... I have no choice
    but to acknowledge you as a genius!
[09:47] ---
    Rika is happy to be praised.
[09:49] ---
    Then should we start by
    exchanging our email addresses?
[09:53] ---
    Yeah!
[09:57] ---
    Th-This is it!
[10:00] ---
    "7/14: Kobato" "7/10: Kobato"
[10:01] ---
    "7/19: House" "7/17: House"
[10:03] ---
    M-Me too!
[10:10] ---
    Here it is!
[10:12] ---
    I took my cell phone out!
[10:15] ---
    Then let's go ahead and exchange addresses.
[10:18] ---
    Right...
[10:19] ---
    What a brightly colored
    phone you have, Kodaka-sempai!
[10:22] ---
    Rika doesn't often see them like that.
[10:24] ---
    Really?
[10:38] ---
    Okay, let's do it with infrared light.
[10:40] ---
    I-Infrared light?
[10:42] ---
    W-Why infrared light?
[10:44] ---
    Certainly, I think I've heard
    the legend that it's possible
[10:49] ---
    for recent cell phones to
    exchange data with infrared light,
[10:52] ---
    but it's actually true?
[10:54] ---
    W-What do I push?
[10:55] ---
    Are you serious?! When did
    cell phones evolve like that?!
[11:00] ---
    There.
[11:01] ---
    Y-Yukimura?
[11:03] ---
    Thank you, Yukimura-kun!
[11:05] ---
    Okay, Rika got your address, Yukimura-kun!
[11:08] ---
    I've received yours, as well.
[11:10] ---
    D-Don't tell me they're
    already done exchanging data?!
[11:13] ---
    In that short space of time?!
[11:15] ---
    Hey, modern kids really are
    different from the rest of us...
[11:18] ---
    It can do all that?!
[11:19] ---
    Yeah. This is the virtual generation
    that lives in a digital world.
[11:22] ---
    --To them, everything is like a video game.
[11:25] ---
    --They sure are going on about being
[11:26] ---
    --Those kids don't know what pain is.
[11:27] ---
    --different than us in just one regard...
[11:28] ---
    People like Aniki, who survive
    by relying on their own strength,
[11:33] ---
    have no interest in cell phones, right?
[11:35] ---
    I didn't think you'd be able to handle
    infrared without any trouble, Yukimura!
[11:40] ---
    Oh...
[11:42] ---
    I just don't know how to do it!
[11:43] ---
    It's strange for someone who has no friends
[11:45] ---
    to be able to use a function like this!
[11:47] ---
    Kodaka! I'll type in your address
    the normal way, so tell me what it is!
[11:50] ---
    Got it! I was just thinking
    it'd be faster that way too.
[11:54] ---
    Here, this is my number and address.
[11:58] ---
    I went too far...
[12:00] ---
    Still, your address is too complicated...
[12:02] ---
    It's because I haven't changed
    it since I bought the phone.
[12:06] ---
    Where's the dot?
[12:11] ---
    I did it!
[12:12] ---
    Good.
[12:13] ---
    A-All right... Kodaka, I'm gonna...
[12:16] ---
    ...send you an email...
    email from a cell phone...
[12:19] ---
    Y-Yeah...
[12:28] ---
    I got it!
[12:29] ---
    You got it?!
[12:30] ---
    "Email"
[12:30] ---
    This is your email, Yozora?
[12:34] ---
    Let's see, to register it...
[12:36] ---
    "Mika... zuki... Yo... zora..."
[12:41] ---
    This is my first email
    address from outside my family!
[12:44] ---
    It feels like something
    is filling up my heart!
[12:47] ---
    Oh, really?
[12:48] ---
    You didn't have addresses of
    kids from your previous schools?
[12:50] ---
    No.
[12:52] ---
    At my farewell parties, there were
    people who said they'd send me emails,
[12:56] ---
    but when I think about it, I never
    did exchange addresses with them.
[13:01] ---
    I see. Then my address is your
    first one, apart from your family...
[13:05] ---
    Incidentally, my phone doesn't
    even have my family's addresses saved.
[13:09] ---
    Your address is my genuine first one, Kodaka!
[13:11] ---
    Wow, really?!
[13:15] ---
    Maybe we should have taught them
    how to use infrared data transfer,
[13:19] ---
    but looking at those two in such high spirits
[13:21] ---
    makes Rika feel that we who
    know how to do it are the losers.
[13:24] ---
    Hmph!
[13:26] ---
    Fussing over a cell phone! It's stupid!
[13:28] ---
    What are you mad about?
[13:30] ---
    I'm not mad!
[13:32] ---
    Well, okay then...
[13:33] ---
    Come on, tell me your address, too.
[13:37] ---
    Don't have one.
[13:41] ---
    I don't have a stupid cell phone!
[13:44] ---
    Oh, really?
[13:45] ---
    It's not like I'm envious or anything!
[13:48] ---
    They're gadgets made for the
    giggling airheads in my class!
[13:52] ---
    It's unnecessary for someone
    with as much class as me!
[13:55] ---
    Well, there are a lot of people around
    the world who don't need a cell phone.
[14:00] ---
    That's right.
[14:01] ---
    I don't need a phone, let alone a cell phone!
[14:04] ---
    No matter where I am or what I'm doing,
[14:06] ---
    the ignorant masses should gratefully
    listen to this goddess's heavenly voice!
[14:10] ---
    That's asking too much...
[14:16] ---
    Hello?
[14:17] ---
    It's me.
[14:20] ---
    Save my phone number.
[14:22] ---
    Okay, sure.
[14:23] ---
    Wait. As long as we're
    on the phone, let's talk.
[14:27] ---
    Well, okay, but...
[14:28] ---
    All right, why don't we
    talk about last night's dinner?
[14:31] ---
    What did you eat, Kodaka?
[14:33] ---
    Um... What was it, again...?
[14:34] ---
    Who cares about what you
    two had for dinner last night?!
[14:38] ---
    Quiet, Meat.
[14:39] ---
    Can't you keep your mouth shut
    when people are talking on the phone?
[14:42] ---
    You really are meat lacking any common sense.
[14:45] ---
    Anyway, cell phones are
    convenient, aren't they?
[14:49] ---
    We can have a conversation
    even when we're apart.
[14:50] ---
    In that case, go away and
    then have a conversation!
[14:53] ---
    I'll give you a call on your cell
    when I'm leaving for the club.
[14:57] ---
    And from now on, let's plan all
    our club activities together by email.
[15:03] ---
    By the way, I went to a restaurant
    for dinner last night and had
[15:06] ---
    meat.
[15:07] ---
    To be precise, it was curry with chicken
[15:09] ---
    meat
[15:10] ---
    in it, but the
[15:11] ---
    meat
[15:12] ---
    was so tender and delicious.
[15:16] ---
    What are you talking about?
[15:17] ---
    Meat,
[15:18] ---
    it has nothing to do with you.
[15:19] ---
    That restaurant's *meat
    *wasn't just chicken meat.
[15:22] ---
    They also had pig meat and cow *meat,
    *all of which were domestic products.
[15:26] ---
    It was so delicious and yet reasonably
    priced, I wondered how they could
[15:29] ---
    meet the demand.
[15:30] ---
    You could eat all the
    meat you wanted for just...
[15:34] ---
    Shut up with your "Meat! Meat!"
[15:36] ---
    Hey!
[15:36] ---
    Stupid! Stupid! Idiot!
[15:39] ---
    Yozora, you're an idiot!
[15:44] ---
    Dammit, that stupid Meat...
[15:48] ---
    You really do have a talent for getting
    under Sena's skin with pinpoint accuracy.
[15:56] ---
    I'm home.
[15:59] ---
    You're late, my other half.
[16:01] ---
    Yeah. I'll go make dinner now.
[16:10] ---
    In one stroke, my contact addresses double!
[16:24] ---
    Who would be calling at this hour?
[16:31] ---
    Hello? Hasegawa here...
[16:33] ---
    H-Hello?!
[16:36] ---
    What the hell? A crank call?
[16:48] ---
    Hello?
[16:50] ---
    Hello?!
[16:51] ---
    U-Um, I'm Kashiwazaki Sena...
[16:55] ---
    I-I-I-I-Is Kodaka...
    I mean, Kodaka-kun... there?
[16:58] ---
    Sena?
[16:59] ---
    Huh? Is this Kodaka?
[17:01] ---
    Yeah.
[17:02] ---
    Stupid! You dummy! Don't scare me, stupid!
[17:05] ---
    Your voice is scary, moron!
[17:07] ---
    Look, what the hell time do you think it is?
[17:11] ---
    Enough about that. Kodaka,
    what's your cell phone like?
[17:15] ---
    What's it like? It's a normal one.
[17:17] ---
    But there are all kinds, aren't there?!
[17:20] ---
    Like companies and models...
[17:23] ---
    The company is Turn-AU.
[17:25] ---
    I don't really know what model it is...
[17:27] ---
    Look it up now!
[17:28] ---
    Huh?
[17:29] ---
    Just do it!
[17:31] ---
    Um, it's an M61b...
[17:35] ---
    Turn-AU M61b, right?
[17:37] ---
    Yeah.
[17:38] ---
    Got it. Talk to you later.
[17:41] ---
    What the hell was that about?
[18:06] ---
    "Waiting for you here
    totally naked, Kodaka-sempai.
[18:11] ---
    You just imagined Rika
    in the nude, didn't you?
[18:14] ---
    You have a dirty mind, Sempai!"
[18:17] ---
    "Shiguma" "Subject: Butt"
[18:19] ---
    "Incidentally, Yozora-sempai
    is in her birthday suit, too!
[18:21] ---
    As proof, I'm sending you a
    photo of Sempai's cute, perky tushy!"
[18:29] ---
    "That was Rika's arm!"
[18:34] ---
    "Ohhh!"
[18:36] ---
    "Yozora-sempai, why are you
    pulling down Rika's panties?
[18:41] ---
    Aieee! I can't pose like
    this, it's too embarrassing!"
[18:52] ---
    Kodaka, be careful.
[18:54] ---
    This one's a pervert!
[18:56] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[18:57] ---
    Rika's just noticed how great
    the girls' love genre is, too!
[19:00] ---
    Rika thinks that as long as
    it's erotic, it's probably all good!
[19:03] ---
    You really have a lot of energy, huh?
[19:06] ---
    It's only tea, but...
[19:07] ---
    Thank you.
[19:18] ---
    Where is everyone?
[19:19] ---
    They all had things to do, so they went home.
[19:21] ---
    Why don't we take off too?
[19:23] ---
    Yeah...
[19:26] ---
    The goddess has descended to Earth!
[19:29] ---
    Okay.
[19:31] ---
    I'm going back to sleep.
[19:32] ---
    W-What's with the lack of reactions?!
[19:34] ---
    I wonder if you'll be able keep up
    the indifference when you see this!
[19:38] ---
    What do you think? I asked Daddy for
    it yesterday, so he bought one for me!
[19:43] ---
    Huh? That's the same one as mine.
[19:45] ---
    Even the color...
[19:46] ---
    H-Huh. Go figure. W-What a coincidence.
[19:49] ---
    It's no coincidence...
[19:51] ---
    The same as Kodaka's?
[19:54] ---
    Now we can exchange addresses!
[19:57] ---
    Hurry up!
[19:59] ---
    All right...
[20:00] ---
    Do you know how to do infrared data transfer?
[20:02] ---
    Of course!
[20:03] ---
    You just learned how to do
    it yourself yesterday, Kodaka!
[20:06] ---
    That's true...
[20:12] ---
    Come on! I'll do you a favor and
    exchange addresses with you too, Yozora!
[20:15] ---
    I don't need your address.
[20:17] ---
    Hey! I went to the trouble of buying this,
[20:19] ---
    so the least you could
    do is tell me your address!
[20:21] ---
    Do you want me to
    share it with you that badly?
[20:24] ---
    N-No, it's not like that...
[20:27] ---
    I have no interest in your address at all.
[20:30] ---
    I'm just saying that, as clubmates,
[20:32] ---
    I thought I'd do you a favor by
    exchanging addresses with you.
[20:35] ---
    Be grateful!
[20:36] ---
    I see. Thank you! I'll just
    accept the feeling behind it.
[20:40] ---
    Just the feeling isn't good enough!
[20:44] ---
    Bitch with a greedy-looking face...
[20:47] ---
    If you want it that badly,
    show me your sincerity.
[20:49] ---
    Sincerity?! I'm not gonna
    lick your feet or anything!
[20:54] ---
    Oh, just forget it! Stupid Yozora!
[20:59] ---
    She's too soft.
[21:06] ---
    "Kashiwazaki Sena"
[21:07] ---
    It's Sena.
[21:08] ---
    "I'm gonna harass the moron by email,
    so sneak me over Yozora's address."
[21:14] ---
    This is her first email?
[21:16] ---
    That stupid Meat...
[21:19] ---
    Kodaka, show me Meat's address.
[21:22] ---
    There's nothing for it.
    I'll send Meat my address.
[21:27] ---
    O-Okay...
[21:35] ---
    "Neighbors Club"
[21:41] ---
    What?! What is this?!
[21:43] ---
    Tell me, what is this?!
[21:45] ---
    It won't stop! W-What should I do?!
[21:52] ---
    What is this?!
[21:55] ---
    My cell phone...
[21:57] ---
    Well, I'm going home.
[21:58] ---
    Help me, Kodaka!
[22:02] ---
    S-Sure, let me see it.
[22:06] ---
    W-What'll I do if it can't be fixed?
[22:08] ---
    My cell phone...
[22:10] ---
    No, I think it'll be okay.
[22:13] ---
    Look, see? I'll fix it.
[22:15] ---
    It's not broken, Sena.
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking
    that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:59] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:02] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:50] ---
    Meat, these days, everyone has a smart phone.
[23:53] ---
    Smart phone?
[23:54] ---
    I-I've heard of them!
[23:55] ---
    They're efficient and can do anything,
    but there's a condition to use them.
[23:59] ---
    You have to be smart, Meat,
    so naturally, that rules you out.
[24:02] ---
    Really?!
[24:03] ---
    I'm lying.
[24:04] ---
    You really are stupid!
[24:06] ---
    W-What?! I believed you for a second there!
[24:08] ---
    But now that I think about it, there couldn't
[24:10] ---
    possibly be anything that this
    goddess couldn't use. In the first--
[24:12] ---
    Next time: "School Swimsuits Don't Appear."
[24:12] ---
    "Next time: School Swimsuits Don't Appear."
[24:15] ---
    A swimsuit episode?
[24:16] ---
    Yeesh! Why are men so hooked on swimsuits?!

Season 1

8 - School Swimsuits Don't Appear

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] ---
    So last weekend, we went
    swimming together, which was fine, but...
[00:19] ---
    Sorry I'm late!
[00:21] ---
    No problem!
[00:27] ---
    Let's go together, okay?
[00:28] ---
    All right, let's say next Sunday.
[00:34] ---
    The season of happy kids...
[00:38] ---
    I'm home...
[00:40] ---
    --Hot out there...
[00:40] ---
    --Raysis! Wait!
[00:44] ---
    What's wrong, Guernica? Fight back!
[00:45] ---
    Raysis, why?
[00:47] ---
    --Why, you ask? That's a silly question.
[00:47] ---
    --Kobato, you're not using
    the air conditioner?
[00:50] ---
    Raysis!
[00:51] ---
    Bro...
[01:08] ---
    WANAWANA
[01:09] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[01:11] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:13] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[01:17] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:26] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:29] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[01:32] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:36] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[01:39] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:43] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[01:50] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[01:52] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[01:59] ---
    SOWASOWA
[01:59] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:01] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[02:03] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:06] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[02:10] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[02:15] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[02:19] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:22] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:26] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[02:30] ---
    Here it comes!
[02:30] ---
    "School Swimsuits Don't Appear"
[02:34] ---
    Okay, I'm back.
[02:37] ---
    Did you buy a new A/C?!
[02:39] ---
    Yeah, but they won't come to
    install it for another three days.
[02:42] ---
    Th-Three days?!
[02:45] ---
    Honestly, humans are worthless...
[02:49] ---
    How interesting...
[02:51] ---
    Then, for the time being,
[02:53] ---
    shall we make merry at
    this purgatorial feast?
[02:59] ---
    My name is Raysis Vi Felicity Sumeragi!
[03:03] ---
    Even if I were to be surrounded
    by 20-million-degree flames,
[03:06] ---
    I would still be the great King of
    the Night, as hale and hearty as ever...
[03:10] ---
    Why don't you put on something lighter?
[03:13] ---
    This dress embodies my powers of darkness.
[03:16] ---
    I can't just change into something else.
[03:19] ---
    All right, whatever. Want some barley tea?
[03:24] ---
    Have I seen this before?
[03:27] ---
    Oh. Yesterday's recording...
[03:30] ---
    Here.
[03:34] ---
    I never thought I would be
    backed into a corner like this...
[03:37] ---
    Gaze upon my true form!
[03:40] ---
    Releasing binding spell!
[03:42] ---
    Unleashing magic power!
[03:51] ---
    This is my true form!
[03:54] ---
    Your... true form?!
[04:02] ---
    So the conclusion is next week, huh?
[04:08] ---
    Let's Go!
[04:11] ---
    Bro!
[04:13] ---
    R-Releasing b-binding spell!
[04:23] ---
    Watch me!
[04:33] ---
    Put everything you took off in the washer.
[04:36] ---
    Right!
[04:40] ---
    All right!
[04:41] ---
    U-Unleashing magic power!
[04:49] ---
    This is my true form!
[04:53] ---
    A ripoff?
[04:54] ---
    It's not a ripoff!
[04:57] ---
    I didn't want it to be necessary
    to unleash my true power...
[05:01] ---
    Chalk it up to an annoying season of hell,
[05:04] ---
    I suppose...
[05:06] ---
    Well, that's fine with me, but...
[05:09] ---
    Oh, Kobato, I'm heading out to the club.
[05:13] ---
    Do you wanna go with?
[05:15] ---
    You can go out wearing that, right?
[05:17] ---
    And the club's got a
    working air conditioner...
[05:19] ---
    I'll go!
[05:21] ---
    Kobato...
[05:23] ---
    Those are your clothes from
    elementary school, aren't they?
[05:26] ---
    That you can wear them with no problem
    even as a 2nd-year middle school student
[05:29] ---
    maybe means you're not growing...?
[05:32] ---
    W-W-What should I do, Bro?!
[05:35] ---
    I'm not getting any bigger?!
[05:43] ---
    N-Now that I think about it,
[05:45] ---
    as a member of the Night Tribe, I am eternal.
[05:49] ---
    My body will never get
    discrepant or ugly with age.
[05:53] ---
    I see...
[05:56] ---
    I'm glad you won't get discrepant.
[06:00] ---
    Yep.
[06:03] ---
    It's "get decrepit," Kobato.
[06:11] ---
    Hi.
[06:12] ---
    You're late!
[06:13] ---
    Welcome back, Aniki.
[06:16] ---
    Big Brother!
[06:17] ---
    Hey, long time no see!
[06:18] ---
    Listen to this! Today,
    Yukimura got me sushi for lunch!
[06:23] ---
    And yesterday I had steak!
    Yukimura is a good guy!
[06:26] ---
    Wha...? Sushi? Stea--
[06:28] ---
    Since you ordered me to
    give Maria food that tastes good,
[06:32] ---
    I've been preparing lunches
    for her with all my heart and soul.
[06:36] ---
    S-Sure, I said that, but
    you're going overboard!
[06:40] ---
    When you force-fed me that weird medicine,
[06:42] ---
    I swore to God that I would
    "chop something off of that homo"!
[06:46] ---
    But now, it's different!
[06:47] ---
    Thank you, Yukimura!
[06:49] ---
    Please thank Aniki.
[06:51] ---
    Thank you! I love you, Big Brother!
[06:56] ---
    Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
[06:59] ---
    I hope my bro hates you,
    getting fattened up like a pig!
[07:03] ---
    W-What was that?!
[07:07] ---
    Who the hell are you?
[07:08] ---
    I'm Bro's little sister!
[07:13] ---
    Kobato-chan!
[07:14] ---
    You're that vampire?! You fooled me!
[07:17] ---
    Despised incarnation of darkness!
[07:19] ---
    --Begone! Begone! Begone!
[07:20] ---
    --Ow! Ow!
[07:21] ---
    Why, you...!
[07:23] ---
    A vampire bit me!
[07:24] ---
    Why would you bite me?! Dummy! Dummy!
[07:27] ---
    Of course she bit you.
[07:30] ---
    That's what vampires do.
[07:31] ---
    That's what you get, tool of God!
[07:34] ---
    Those who are bitten by
    vampires become kin to the vampires!
[07:39] ---
    I-Is that true, Big Brother?!
[07:41] ---
    I have heard that before.
[07:45] ---
    I'm gonna turn into a vampire!
[07:48] ---
    Maria? I've heard if you bathe in the
    sun's rays right after getting bitten,
[07:52] ---
    you won't become a vampire.
[07:55] ---
    Really?!
[07:55] ---
    It's true.
[07:56] ---
    Although it won't work if you wear
    clothes. You have to be totally naked.
[08:00] ---
    Got it! Thank you, Yozora!
[08:06] ---
    You're evil...
[08:07] ---
    She really is a moron.
[08:11] ---
    What?
[08:12] ---
    Stop staring at me!
[08:13] ---
    Kobato-chan, you're adorable!
[08:16] ---
    Tell me, why did you give up the
    Goth-Lolita look? To change your image?
[08:19] ---
    I unleashed my true power.
[08:22] ---
    I don't know what you mean,
    but you're so darn cute!
[08:25] ---
    You're cute every time I see you!
[08:28] ---
    Bro...
[08:30] ---
    Little missy, what kind
    of panties are you wearing?
[08:32] ---
    Both of you, come on...
[08:33] ---
    Let's take them off, okay?!
[08:36] ---
    I wonder how I'll be able
    to conquer Kobato-chan...
[08:40] ---
    Behave yourselves, perverts!
[08:46] ---
    Light!!
[08:48] ---
    God's light!
[08:56] ---
    Still, there's nothing to
    do during summer vacation.
[08:59] ---
    Yeah. So little, I wouldn't mind
[09:02] ---
    if we'd been given ten times
    the amount of summer homework.
[09:05] ---
    That, I can do without.
[09:07] ---
    We've got all this time on our hands.
[09:08] ---
    I wonder how other people are killing time...
[09:12] ---
    They're having fun with
    their friends, of course...
[09:16] ---
    I wish all the happy people would just die...
[09:19] ---
    "Wow, look! Look! The pool is huge!!"
[09:23] ---
    I wish they'd die, too...
[09:25] ---
    Don't have murderous
    thoughts about game characters.
[09:28] ---
    If I were the writer of that game,
    I'd put a shark in the scene.
[09:32] ---
    A shark?
[09:33] ---
    What are you being so nasty for?
[09:35] ---
    "I'm gonna swim with you, Mizuki!"
[09:36] ---
    If a shark suddenly appeared in that scene
[09:38] ---
    and made a big bloody mess
    as it devoured those girls,
[09:40] ---
    I would recognize that as a godly game.
[09:43] ---
    A stupid development
    like that would never happen!
[09:45] ---
    In the first place, this scene is at a pool!
[09:49] ---
    "Shark!"
[09:54] ---
    I'm sure it's not a real shark.
[09:57] ---
    It's either Marina's radio-controlled
    one or a stuffed animal...
[10:00] ---
    Anyway, it's one of those cliché events.
[10:04] ---
    "What's a real great
    white shark doing here?!"
[10:06] ---
    Why?!
[10:11] ---
    I-It's okay! This is a comedy!
[10:14] ---
    In a comedy, it's possible to have
    a shark suddenly show up at a pool.
[10:18] ---
    I predict the main character
    will kick the shark's ass...
[10:22] ---
    And everyone's favorable ratings will go up!
[10:25] ---
    "Mizuki...!!!"
[10:26] ---
    No!! Mizuki!!
[10:40] ---
    Well, that was a godly game.
[10:42] ---
    I've had enough of this shitty game!
[10:44] ---
    That was St. Jaws Academy Tale, right?
[10:47] ---
    Yeah, so?
[10:48] ---
    The rumors were right, then, that it has a
    really extreme bad ending.
[10:51] ---
    If you fail to set up the flags in St. Jaws,
[10:54] ---
    it not only plunges you into a bad ending,
[10:57] ---
    but finishes with a brutal scene
    that comes totally out of left field!
[11:02] ---
    In a sense, the game is
    supposedly famous for being stupid.
[11:05] ---
    Even the world of girl games is deep.
[11:09] ---
    "St. Jaws Academy Tale"
[11:09] ---
    Even so, I wanna go to a pool.
[11:13] ---
    Huh?
[11:14] ---
    You say that right after seeing a
    scene of heroines devoured at the pool?
[11:20] ---
    Do you have a death wish?
[11:22] ---
    How does that follow?!
[11:24] ---
    It doesn't have anything to
    do with that dumbass game,
[11:27] ---
    I just wanna go to a pool.
[11:30] ---
    Oh...
[11:31] ---
    I was worried
[11:32] ---
    that your eyes were opened to the
    joys of being a predatory carnivore.
[11:38] ---
    Be grateful to me!
[11:39] ---
    Th-Thank you...
[11:42] ---
    I wanna go to the pool, too...
[11:45] ---
    Kobato-chan, you wanna go to the pool?!
[11:46] ---
    Then let's go together!
[11:50] ---
    That's just creepy, Meat!
[11:53] ---
    A pool, huh? The hangout
    of the happy people...
[11:56] ---
    If I made friends, the pool
    would be a place I could go to...
[12:00] ---
    It isn't something that
    requires a lot of thought.
[12:02] ---
    I went to Sea God's
    Palace Land before with Koda--
[12:06] ---
    Nothing!
[12:07] ---
    W-Well, why don't we all go
    there together, as a club activity?
[12:12] ---
    Like a rehearsal for the real thing...
[12:14] ---
    That's not a bad idea...
[12:16] ---
    It's not like we've got anything
    better to do. Maybe we should go...
[12:18] ---
    Yay!
[12:19] ---
    --Kodaka-sempai, don't get too excited
    when you see Rika in her swimsuit, okay?
[12:19] ---
    --You'll go with me to the
    pool, right, Kobato-chan?
[12:23] ---
    --I bet you wear one of those things, like
    a white dress over your swimsuit, right?
[12:26] ---
    --Still creepy, Meat!
[12:28] ---
    W-Why would you think that?
[12:29] ---
    Since you say so, Rika will
    choose a really sexy swimsuit
[12:32] ---
    to make you irresistibly
    drawn to her charms, Sempai!
[12:35] ---
    Low leg cut,
[12:36] ---
    string bikini,
[12:37] ---
    brassiere swimsuit,
[12:38] ---
    Band-Aids,
[12:39] ---
    nude,
[12:40] ---
    pride!
[12:44] ---
    --What the hell were the last three?
[12:45] ---
    --I don't understand you, Meat!
[12:52] ---
    "I did an indecent act. I'm sorry."
[13:08] ---
    Looks like she's having fun...
[13:09] ---
    Sempai!
[13:11] ---
    Over here!
[13:13] ---
    You're all here early.
[13:15] ---
    You're late!
[13:17] ---
    We're not supposed to meet here.
[13:21] ---
    It was like this when we got here.
[13:28] ---
    What's with this rush hour traffic?!
[13:32] ---
    Yozora, are you okay? You look sick.
[13:35] ---
    I am...
[13:37] ---
    It's not from the bus.
    It's the crowd of people.
[13:42] ---
    I feel sick...
[13:47] ---
    Here.
[13:48] ---
    Don't need it. I'm not gonna throw up...
[13:50] ---
    I'm definitely not gonna throw up...
[13:54] ---
    R-Rika will do her best, too...
[13:57] ---
    You too?
[13:58] ---
    A sh-shut-in in this crowd...
[14:01] ---
    But I'll be fine...
[14:04] ---
    If I have to, I'll get energy
[14:07] ---
    from Kodaka-sempai below the belt!
[14:09] ---
    I-I see...
[14:11] ---
    By the way, when Yozora-*sempai
    *says, "I'm not gonna throw up,"
[14:15] ---
    it's kind of a turn-on, isn't it?
[14:17] ---
    Are you sick or feeling
    good? Make up your mind!
[14:22] ---
    Kobato-chan, what do you
    wanna do when we get to the pool?
[14:26] ---
    Swim...
[14:26] ---
    Of course, right?
[14:28] ---
    Shall I teach you how to swim?
[14:31] ---
    No, I can swim already.
[14:32] ---
    You can swim! What are you good at?
[14:35] ---
    Long-distance...
[14:36] ---
    Then why don't we swim
    long-distance together?!
[14:38] ---
    No!
[14:40] ---
    I love how unfriendly she is, too!
[14:43] ---
    She's a "tough on the outside,
    tender on the inside" type!
[14:46] ---
    A-Are you okay?!
[14:47] ---
    Help me, Bro!
[14:49] ---
    Did you bump into something?
[14:50] ---
    --Look how cute they are...
[14:50] ---
    --Kobato-chan?
[14:52] ---
    They look alike. Maybe they're sisters?
[14:55] ---
    "Sea God's Palace Land"
[15:02] ---
    We finally made it...
[15:05] ---
    Sempai...
[15:08] ---
    See, Kodaka? Told you
    I wasn't gonna throw up...
[15:11] ---
    Yeah. Very admirable.
[15:14] ---
    Yozora-sempai didn't throw up...
[15:19] ---
    Anyway, look at all these people...
[15:22] ---
    It wasn't like this the last time I was here.
[15:25] ---
    I guess it's just so hot that
    even commoners flock to the pool.
[15:29] ---
    Cursed sun!
[15:31] ---
    But now that I'm in my
    true form, it can't destroy me!
[15:38] ---
    I wanna get in the pool quick!
[15:39] ---
    Aniki...
[15:42] ---
    "Admittance 50% Off!!"
[15:42] ---
    "Only in August"
[15:42] ---
    So this is the reason it's so crowded...
[15:45] ---
    We're totally risking our lives being here.
[15:47] ---
    We should've come in July.
[15:49] ---
    Well, it's cheap, right?
[15:52] ---
    I'd rather pay double to get
    in than have to be in a crowd!
[15:55] ---
    And to hell with sales
    or special early-bird offers!
[15:58] ---
    That wouldn't do me any good...
[16:00] ---
    Anyway, shall we go?
[16:09] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting. Here.
[16:12] ---
    Then let's meet in front of
    the showers after changing.
[16:13] ---
    Sure.
[16:16] ---
    A woman?!
[16:18] ---
    Aniki, I guess I am a wimp
    who's hated by all boys...
[16:24] ---
    No, that's not what it is...
[16:27] ---
    D-Despite the way he looks,
[16:30] ---
    this guy is a full-fledged... guy!
[16:36] ---
    Uh... Um...
[16:38] ---
    That's my Aniki.
[16:42] ---
    I suppose this is fine.
[16:44] ---
    So should we get changed?
[16:45] ---
    Yes, Aniki.
[16:53] ---
    Why is your swimsuit a woman's?!
[16:56] ---
    Yozora told me to wear
    a girl's swimsuit, too.
[16:59] ---
    Why would you consult
    Yozora about a swimsuit?
[17:02] ---
    Yozora-anego is my adviser.
    
[17:05] ---
    But I also want my inner masculinity
[17:07] ---
    to shine through even when
    wearing women's clothing,
[17:11] ---
    so I thought I'd challenge
    myself whenever I can.
[17:13] ---
    That's too much of a challenge!
[17:14] ---
    I did bring along a men's
    swimsuit too, just in case...
[17:18] ---
    Heave-ho!
[17:19] ---
    That's...
[17:20] ---
    Yes. A loincloth.
[17:23] ---
    Please go with the woman's
    swimsuit, please, please.
[17:25] ---
    Then I'll let you wear the loincloth, Aniki.
[17:28] ---
    I'll pass!
[17:29] ---
    Say, Kobato-chan, shall I help you change?
[17:33] ---
    No!
[17:37] ---
    All... right...
[17:41] ---
    Need a hand?
[17:43] ---
    Yes, please.
[17:52] ---
    C-Calm down, Kodaka... He's a man!
[17:56] ---
    You're set.
[17:57] ---
    Thank you, Aniki.
[17:59] ---
    Sure...
[18:01] ---
    Certainly, it's hard putting on clothes
    like that and taking them off alone...
[18:05] ---
    Is something wrong, Aniki?
[18:08] ---
    Why are you hiding your chest?!
[18:10] ---
    I'm embarrassed about not
    having a defined chest.
[18:13] ---
    But if you want to see, Aniki...
[18:17] ---
    I'm not gonna look! Just forget
    about it and get the swimsuit on!
[18:20] ---
    Understood.
[18:32] ---
    Why are the men so late?
[18:34] ---
    Sorry. It took a little time to change.
[18:38] ---
    Why is even his swimsuit a woman's?!
[18:41] ---
    Don't ask me...
[18:44] ---
    Huh?
[18:45] ---
    Where are Yozora and Rika?
[18:46] ---
    They said they'll come
    after resting a little while.
[18:49] ---
    Yeah, it looked like
    they were both done in.
[18:52] ---
    I'm gonna swim first!
[18:57] ---
    It's cold!
[18:58] ---
    Hurry up, Bro!
[19:00] ---
    Coming.
[19:05] ---
    This is...
[19:06] ---
    ...more crowded than we imagined, huh?
[19:08] ---
    I can't swim long-distance...
[19:10] ---
    Yes, I think that would be difficult.
[19:13] ---
    The common herd is so annoying...
[19:16] ---
    I wish a shark would appear...
[19:18] ---
    You'd have a crap game intrude on reality?
[19:20] ---
    When Yozora and Rika get here,
[19:22] ---
    how about heading over to
    the lazy river and water slide?
[19:26] ---
    It's totally different from last time.
[19:27] ---
    Yep...
[19:29] ---
    Just the two of us came then, right?
[19:31] ---
    Uh... Yeah...
[19:33] ---
    That's right...
[19:35] ---
    And you got mad at me...
[19:38] ---
    After all, you...
[19:40] ---
    That doesn't bother me.
[19:42] ---
    It's just, as we parted ways...
[19:45] ---
    ...why did you say, "Thank you"?
[19:49] ---
    Jeez, Yozora and Rika
    are taking a while, huh?
[19:51] ---
    Yeah...
[19:54] ---
    I'll go check on them.
[20:01] ---
    What's she flustered about?
[20:12] ---
    I see... At the time, there were
    only three of us in the Neighbors Club...
[20:19] ---
    We've got more members now...
[20:22] ---
    I can't say we've fulfilled
    our goal of making friends yet,
[20:26] ---
    but depending on how you look at it,
    maybe we have changed a lot.
[20:31] ---
    Kodaka!
[20:33] ---
    I got this text from Yozora!
[20:35] ---
    "I'm going home. Rika, too."
[20:37] ---
    Yozora!
[20:41] ---
    Kodaka!
[20:42] ---
    Bro...?
[20:52] ---
    Yozora! Rika!
[20:59] ---
    Hey! Wait, Yozora!
[21:06] ---
    That idiot...
[21:08] ---
    And I was gonna show off my
    elegant swimming form to her...
[21:13] ---
    "We're waiting for your next visit."
[21:21] ---
    Maybe we haven't changed...
[21:23] ---
    Kodaka?
[21:26] ---
    Nothing...
[21:30] ---
    Should we go home?
[21:32] ---
    Yeah...
[22:04] ---
    The Neighbors Club activity report...
[22:10] ---
    "We're waiting for your next visit."
[22:10] ---
    Today's activity:
[22:13] ---
    Nothing...
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:42] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte
    ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:59] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:51] ---
    Here's shabu-shabu.
[23:52] ---
    Meat! Meat!
[23:53] ---
    Here's some sushi.
[23:54] ---
    Roe! Salmon roe! Fatty tuna!
[23:55] ---
    Here's steak.
[23:56] ---
    Marbled! Delicious!
[23:58] ---
    Here's broiled eel over rice.
[24:00] ---
    I can't even see the rice! Wow! Yummy!
[24:03] ---
    Wonderful!
[24:06] ---
    I can't move anymore!
[24:10] ---
    A-A dream! I just had a scary dream!
[24:14] ---
    Next time: "The President's
    Recollections are Painful."
[24:14] ---
    "Next time: The President's
    Recollections are Painful."
[24:16] ---
    I'm scared to eat!

Season 1

9 - The President's Recollections are Painful

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    Beaches everywhere have been
    thronged with beachgoers for days on end.
[00:17] ---
    Look at this!
[00:18] ---
    The shore is packed with beach umbrellas.
[00:21] ---
    Yumigahama Beach in Kohoku...
[00:22] ---
    "New Mail: 1"
[00:22] ---
    "0001 No Subject - Mikazuki Yozora"
    "0002 No Subject - Kashiwazaki Sena"
[00:23] ---
    "Be at the club at 2:00.
    Everyone bring a swimsuit."
[00:24] ---
    "Be at the club at 2:00.
    Everyone bring a swimsuit."
[00:24] ---
    Swimsuit?
[00:32] ---
    Kobato, what's wrong?
[00:35] ---
    Kobato-chan!
[00:39] ---
    Hi, Kobato-chan!
[00:41] ---
    No.
[00:41] ---
    What should we play today?
[00:44] ---
    No!
[00:44] ---
    Kobato-chan, did you
    bring your swimsuit too?!
[00:46] ---
    No!
[00:48] ---
    She's totally rejecting me!
[00:50] ---
    Did you bring a swimsuit, Sena?
[00:53] ---
    Yeah. Stupid Yozora said to, so just in case.
[00:56] ---
    --Oh, Kobato-chan!
[00:57] ---
    --We're here.
[01:02] ---
    Horse?!
[01:14] ---
    QUIVER
[01:15] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness
[01:17] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:19] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:23] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[01:32] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:35] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[01:38] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:42] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[01:45] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:49] ---
    If a group of unlucky
    people gathered together,
[01:56] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[01:58] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[02:05] ---
    FIDGET
[02:05] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:07] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[02:09] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[02:12] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:16] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:21] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:25] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:28] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[02:32] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[02:36] ---
    "The President's Recollections are Painful"
[02:41] ---
    I never would've guessed that I'd encounter
[02:44] ---
    the demon Astaroth in a place like this...
[02:46] ---
    But I thought the Evil Gate was destroyed
[02:48] ---
    during the last war between
    God and the Devil!
[02:50] ---
    Never mind about that...
[02:51] ---
    Yozora?
[02:53] ---
    That's Yozora?!
[02:54] ---
    Indeed.
[02:55] ---
    What the heck are you doing?
    Are you an idiot? A fool?
[02:59] ---
    W-What?
[03:01] ---
    Don't come near me! That's gross!
[03:03] ---
    Ow!
[03:04] ---
    Hey! What was that for?
[03:06] ---
    --What the hell does she want?
[03:07] ---
    --Hey! That hurt!
[03:08] ---
    Today is Swimsuit Day.
[03:10] ---
    Swimsuit Day?
[03:11] ---
    The plan is to wear swimsuits at the club.
[03:14] ---
    Why would we do that?
[03:15] ---
    Because it would be a shame not
    to wear my swimsuit after I bought it.
[03:19] ---
    It's your fault, you and
    Rika, for going home!
[03:21] ---
    Well, we left soon after that, too.
[03:25] ---
    The pool was so crowded,
    it was impossible to have fun.
[03:27] ---
    Is that true?!
[03:29] ---
    Y-Yeah...
[03:33] ---
    What happened?
[03:34] ---
    I mean, what's with the horse mask?
[03:37] ---
    And on top of that, you're wearing
    a full-body zebra-like swimsuit...
[03:39] ---
    It's embarrassing to display your flesh
    where there are a lot of people, isn't it?
[03:44] ---
    With this, my flesh isn't exposed,
    and no one can see my face,
[03:48] ---
    so I'm not embarrassed.
[03:49] ---
    If you'd gone to the pool wearing
    that, people would've been pissed.
[03:53] ---
    There's no rule against
    swimming with a mask on, is there?
[03:56] ---
    But there is a rule against
    weird stuff in the pool.
[04:00] ---
    Then you wouldn't get in, huh?
[04:01] ---
    What was that?!
[04:02] ---
    When you go in the pool, the whole pool...
[04:05] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[04:07] ---
    Rika is wearing a swimsuit
    under her lab coat.
[04:09] ---
    Want to see?!
[04:10] ---
    No, not especially.
[04:12] ---
    Listen to me!
[04:14] ---
    --If you look, I'm sure you'll be surprised.
[04:15] ---
    --Stupid Yozora!
[04:17] ---
    Rika calls it... "The Emperor's
    New Clothes" swimsuit!
[04:19] ---
    That's just going nude!
[04:21] ---
    So take a look!
[04:23] ---
    Knock it off, idiot!
[04:25] ---
    Just kidding.
[04:27] ---
    Well? How does Rika look in her swimsuit?
[04:30] ---
    Kind of normal...
[04:32] ---
    N-Normal?!
[04:33] ---
    Normal is only the outward appearance!
[04:35] ---
    Actually, this swimsuit
[04:36] ---
    --becomes translucent in hot water!
[04:37] ---
    --Cut it out!
[04:39] ---
    Rika will go with Kodaka-sempai
    to a mixed bathing hot spring,
[04:42] ---
    and Sempai will think it's a
    swimsuit, but before his eyes,
[04:45] ---
    Rika will emerge from
    the hot water, totally naked!
[04:48] ---
    Sempai will lose control and follow his
    carnal desires that surge up from within!
[04:53] ---
    Not gonna happen.
    I'd never go to a hot spring with you.
[04:57] ---
    Seriously?
[04:58] ---
    "Maria"
[05:00] ---
    Big Brother!
[05:05] ---
    Ow...
[05:07] ---
    M-Monster! There's a monster in here!
[05:10] ---
    It's okay. She's...
[05:12] ---
    I'm gonna munch on you!
[05:15] ---
    You can't eat me! I'm raw! I'm no good raw!
[05:18] ---
    I'll grill you good first, and then eat you.
[05:20] ---
    I-I-I still won't taste good, even grilled!
[05:23] ---
    Because I've been eating vegetables lately!
[05:25] ---
    I'm a vegetarian!
[05:28] ---
    If I knew this was gonna happen,
    I wouldn't have stopped eating steak!
[05:32] ---
    --I should've given myself
    a fat, flabby taste!
[05:33] ---
    --She isn't eating steak?
[05:35] ---
    --Recently, Maria-dono has said
    that normal food is fine, so...
[05:35] ---
    --I'm gonna be eaten!
[05:37] ---
    --Wait! Wait! Don't move around!
[05:41] ---
    Go, Astarot!
[05:43] ---
    Start at the head and munch your
    way down that uppity agent of God!
[05:47] ---
    I thought it was "Asta roth"...
[05:51] ---
    S-So you're a friend of the vampire?!
[05:53] ---
    Stupid dummy idiot poopy vampire!
[05:55] ---
    Die!
[05:58] ---
    You're the one who's gonna die!
[06:00] ---
    I'm gonna munch on you!
[06:02] ---
    --Munch-munch-munch-munch!
[06:03] ---
    --Help me, Big Brother!
[06:05] ---
    That's enough, Yozora.
[06:08] ---
    Fine.
[06:14] ---
    The horse turned into Yozora!
[06:15] ---
    Why?! Why-Why-Why?!
[06:17] ---
    This is a cursed mask.
[06:19] ---
    If you put it on, the
    demon Astro possesses you.
[06:22] ---
    Whoops. The power of
    darkness is moving my hands...
[06:26] ---
    I can't see anything! It's pitch-black!
[06:29] ---
    It's proof that the power of
    darkness has invaded your mind!
[06:35] ---
    I don't wanna be a horse monster! Help me!
[06:39] ---
    If you want help, swear you'll
    never go near my Bro again!
[06:42] ---
    I refuse! I love Big Brother!
[06:46] ---
    Don't you dare say, "I love Big Brother!"
[06:50] ---
    Yay! The curse was broken!
[06:54] ---
    That's what you get, little turd!
[06:55] ---
    Why, you... um... uh...
[06:58] ---
    Idiot!
[06:59] ---
    --Takes one to know one! Poopy vampire!
[06:59] ---
    --Look, Yozora, if you
    don't want your swimsuit
[07:02] ---
    --Shut up, poopy church girl!
[07:02] ---
    --to go to waste, how
    about visiting the beach?
[07:04] ---
    --The beach is packed with people.
[07:04] ---
    --If I'm "poopy," you're
    a super-stupid poopy!
[07:06] ---
    --What about my family's private beach?
[07:07] ---
    --Then if you call me a
    vampire, you're a vampire!
[07:10] ---
    --Y-You have one?!
[07:12] ---
    Yeah. We've got a summer
    house, which has a beach...
[07:15] ---
    That's what makes her one of the bourgeois!
[07:17] ---
    Well, to be honest, I've only
    been there once, when I was little.
[07:21] ---
    It's so far that you have to
    stay overnight, which is a pain...
[07:25] ---
    So...
[07:25] ---
    we could hold a training camp at
    your summer house, Sena-sempai?
[07:30] ---
    I see... Training camp...
[07:32] ---
    They often have them in gal games, you know?
[07:34] ---
    To be sure, that is a
    traditional club activity.
[07:36] ---
    Well, it could be a good
    experience to prepare us
[07:39] ---
    for when we become "happy people"...
[07:42] ---
    Then I'll ask Daddy.
[07:45] ---
    So... it's okay to set it up?
[07:47] ---
    Does anyone have other plans?
[07:48] ---
    We're all free anytime,
    since none of us have any friends.
[07:53] ---
    Not a pleasing thing to hear...
[07:55] ---
    Hey, hey, what's a training camp?
[07:58] ---
    Hmm... I suppose a training
    camp needs its adviser, too...
[08:05] ---
    If you look up, you'll see the wide blue sky
    and, set against it, towering Mt. Asano.
[08:10] ---
    At its base is a stream
    of refreshing spring water.
[08:13] ---
    Yes?
[08:14] ---
    H-Herlo...
[08:15] ---
    Hello! I'm Kashiwazaki Sena...
[08:18] ---
    I-Is Kodaka-kun there?
[08:20] ---
    Relax, Sena! This is my cell phone.
[08:23] ---
    Oh... oh yeah, that's right.
[08:26] ---
    So... do you want something?
[08:28] ---
    A-Are you free today? Kobato-chan, too...
[08:31] ---
    Just the club after lunch...
[08:33] ---
    Then come to my house today.
[08:35] ---
    Remember what you said before?
[08:37] ---
    About wanting to pay respects to my father...
[08:39] ---
    Oh. But this is all of a sudden...
[08:41] ---
    Yeah. When I asked him about
    the summer house today,
[08:44] ---
    I mentioned your name,
[08:46] ---
    and Daddy said he wanted
    to see you in a hurry.
[08:48] ---
    Why?
[08:49] ---
    I don't know. But, anyway, okay?
[08:52] ---
    Well... gotcha.
[08:53] ---
    Then I'll tell you how
    to get here and the time.
[08:56] ---
    I'll write it down...
[08:57] ---
    "The Collected Works of Akutagawa Ryunosuke"
[09:01] ---
    This is the due date.
[09:12] ---
    "Taka - No Subject"
[09:12] ---
    "Meat - No Subject"
[09:13] ---
    "Taka"
[09:13] ---
    "Kobato and I won't be at the club today."
[09:15] ---
    "Won't be there," he says?
[09:21] ---
    "Meat"
[09:21] ---
    "I'm taking the day off."
[09:31] ---
    "The Collected Works of Akutagawa Ryunosuke"
[09:37] ---
    "Ultra-Mecha"
[09:59] ---
    There?
[10:02] ---
    "Private Property"
[10:06] ---
    It's easy to tell...
[10:24] ---
    U-Um...
[10:25] ---
    Welcome.
[10:27] ---
    You're Hayato's children, aren't you?
[10:29] ---
    I'm Sena's father.
[10:31] ---
    I'm the president of the academy.
[10:33] ---
    It's a pleasure to meet you,
    President! I'm Hasegawa Kodaka.
[10:36] ---
    This is my younger sister, Kobato.
[10:39] ---
    You resemble Hayato, with
    a brazen-looking face.
[10:42] ---
    And this one has Airi-san's face.
[10:46] ---
    A meal has been prepared. Come.
[10:49] ---
    Wait. Sir, you haven't
    given your own name yet...
[10:56] ---
    I'm Kashiwazaki...
[10:58] ---
    My name is...
[11:01] ---
    ...written with the characters "ten" and "uma."
    
[11:03] ---
    Kashiwazaki... Tenma-san?
[11:06] ---
    It reads as "Pegasus."
[11:08] ---
    Pegasus?
[11:09] ---
    You don't call me by that name!
[11:14] ---
    I mean... It isn't that
    dignified a name, you know?
[11:19] ---
    For that reason...
[11:20] ---
    I-I understand...
[11:22] ---
    I'm Stella, the house steward.
[11:25] ---
    Steward?
[11:27] ---
    Please don't stare at me
    like that, Kodaka-sama.
[11:30] ---
    I'll get pregnant.
[11:41] ---
    Is a steward the same thing as a butler?
[11:43] ---
    At first, I thought Stella-san
    was maybe Sena... -san's mother...
[11:48] ---
    My wife is currently abroad.
[11:50] ---
    But it's rare for you to
    meet guests at the door, Daddy.
[11:55] ---
    I was passing by.
[11:56] ---
    He's been fidgeting to
    meet the two of you for a while.
[12:01] ---
    I-I have not!
[12:03] ---
    Now just bring the food out!
[12:05] ---
    As you wish.
[12:12] ---
    Please go ahead, everyone.
[12:13] ---
    Thank you for the food!
[12:15] ---
    Eat a lot, okay, Kobato-chan?
[12:17] ---
    With good manners, Kobato.
[12:19] ---
    Thank you for the food.
[12:20] ---
    Well, thank you for the food.
[12:33] ---
    U-Um, thank you for helping
    us transfer into the academy.
[12:37] ---
    It seems like my dad asked for a big favor...
[12:40] ---
    He did indeed.
[12:42] ---
    Right when the entrance
    season was over, suddenly
[12:45] ---
    that idiot demanded, "Enroll my son
    and daughter in that school of yours."
[12:51] ---
    I-I apologize for that...
[12:54] ---
    Even though you're his son,
    you're very well-mannered.
[12:58] ---
    Oh, that's right! Here.
    This isn't much, but...
[13:02] ---
    "Kuriya"
[13:05] ---
    What is this?
[13:06] ---
    The "It's salty and spicy, but is also like
    deeply-flavored life: Rayu assortment.
[13:12] ---
    What's that mean?
[13:13] ---
    Well, it really is delicious!
[13:16] ---
    It goes with rice, pasta, anything.
[13:18] ---
    Even Kobato likes it, and
    she hates spicy stuff.
[13:21] ---
    Can I open one?
[13:22] ---
    Please, go ahead.
[13:31] ---
    Good!
[13:32] ---
    Yeah, you're right! This is delicious!
[13:35] ---
    Glad you like it.
[13:36] ---
    Bro, me too!
[13:38] ---
    Your big sister will feed you!
[13:42] ---
    --Okay, open wide!
[13:42] ---
    --Come to think of it, Hayato
[13:43] ---
    --has always been good at finding
[13:43] ---
    --No!
[13:44] ---
    --these kinds of unusual
    foods and seasonings.
[13:45] ---
    --Come on, eat your big sister's!
[13:47] ---
    --Well, almost as long as I can
[13:47] ---
    --No!
[13:48] ---
    --So cute! Say, "Aaaaah!"
[13:49] ---
    --remember, we've moved all over Japan...
[13:51] ---
    This time, he suddenly went abroad...
[13:53] ---
    Even after all these years,
    that man hasn't changed.
[13:57] ---
    It must have been hard on you two.
[13:59] ---
    --It's yummy!
[13:59] ---
    --Unbelievable, devoting
    himself to digging up ruins,
[14:00] ---
    --No!
[14:02] ---
    --Big sister's gobbling up Kobato-chan!
[14:03] ---
    --even dragging you kids into it, the scum!
[14:05] ---
    He's not scum!
[14:11] ---
    S-Sorry...
[14:14] ---
    Um, our father isn't scum.
[14:17] ---
    Though he may be stupid...
[14:20] ---
    I know that.
[14:27] ---
    Stay over...?
[14:30] ---
    There's no need to hesitate.
[14:31] ---
    No, it's not hesitation...
[14:34] ---
    Actually, on Saturday and Sunday,
[14:36] ---
    there are no buses to
    Tooya Station after 8pm.
[14:43] ---
    If you absolutely must
    get home, I could drive you...
[14:48] ---
    ...but to be honest, it would be a pain.
[14:50] ---
    It'd be a pain...?
[14:52] ---
    Just stay over!
[14:54] ---
    But we didn't bring pajamas or anything...
[14:56] ---
    You can use my nightclothes.
[14:58] ---
    That's what Hayato always
    did when he stayed over.
[15:01] ---
    I think my old pajamas
    would fit you, Kobato-chan.
[15:05] ---
    But the room, or...
[15:07] ---
    We have a guest room.
[15:09] ---
    Um...
[15:15] ---
    Thank you for your kind offer.
[15:20] ---
    She's super-cute when she's sleeping, too!
[15:22] ---
    Don't touch her!
[15:24] ---
    Anyway, it seems Daddy really likes you.
[15:28] ---
    I haven't seen him in that
    good a mood for a long time.
[15:31] ---
    That was his good mood?
[15:33] ---
    A great mood!
[15:35] ---
    Bro, where are we?
[15:38] ---
    Say, Kobato-chan, why don't we take
    a bath together before going to bed?
[15:42] ---
    Take a bath...
[15:46] ---
    You know, Kobato, it wouldn't
    hurt you to skip one night...
[15:49] ---
    Then let's go to the bath!
[15:57] ---
    President...
[15:59] ---
    Have a drink with me.
[16:03] ---
    Um, I'm a minor...
[16:06] ---
    This is regular grape juice. Relax.
[16:10] ---
    I don't know about this...
[16:11] ---
    This is the real thing.
[16:14] ---
    Shall we trade?
[16:15] ---
    No, like I said, I'm...
[16:16] ---
    Just kidding.
[16:24] ---
    In our student days, Hayato
    and I often drank like this.
[16:28] ---
    So I'm standing in for Dad...
[16:35] ---
    You can really down it!
[16:37] ---
    It's not alcohol!
[16:43] ---
    Um... are you okay?
[16:45] ---
    Huuuh? S'what okay?
[16:48] ---
    That was quick!
[16:55] ---
    In our shtudent daysh,
    Hayato and I often drank like thish!
[17:05] ---
    In our shtudent daysh...
[17:11] ---
    In our... In our shtudent daysh...
[17:19] ---
    President!
[17:20] ---
    President, please wake up!
[17:24] ---
    P-President?
[17:37] ---
    Should I call Stella-san?
[17:44] ---
    Kobato!
[17:46] ---
    Bro!!
[17:48] ---
    What's wrong?!
[17:48] ---
    Wait, Kobato-chan!
[18:11] ---
    Ow...
[18:14] ---
    Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you doing here, Kodaka?!
[18:17] ---
    Stupid idiot dirty molester poopy pervert
    brute main character of an erotic game!
[18:21] ---
    Th-That's 100% my line!
[18:28] ---
    Universe!!
[18:31] ---
    She ran outside...
[18:33] ---
    I don't believe it. Seriously?
[18:35] ---
    Oh, dear. Dirty-minded Kodaka-san.
[18:38] ---
    No! Um, that was just an accident...
[18:41] ---
    I know.
[18:44] ---
    Come, Kobato-sama, while you have a chance...
[18:47] ---
    Okay.
[18:48] ---
    U-Um, the President is sleeping on the bed...
[18:51] ---
    Once the Master falls asleep, he
    absolutely won't awaken 'til morning.
[18:57] ---
    I'll have Kobato-sama
    sleep in the servants' room.
[19:00] ---
    So, my apologies, but
    please sleep in the same bed
[19:04] ---
    with the Master tonight, Kodaka-sama.
[19:06] ---
    I-I'll sleep in the servants' room, too...
[19:08] ---
    I sleep in the nude.
[19:11] ---
    I'll sleep with the President.
[19:13] ---
    No...!
[19:18] ---
    You often drank together
    in your student days...
[19:24] ---
    No question, the President
    thinks of my dad as a close friend.
[19:29] ---
    I'm sure that's why Dad could leave
[19:32] ---
    Kobato and me in Japan
    and go off on a journey.
[19:42] ---
    I wonder if I'll ever make
    a friend like that someday...
[20:04] ---
    Well, thank you for everything.
[20:08] ---
    Kobato?
[20:11] ---
    Th-Thank you for everything.
[20:15] ---
    You're welcome to come back anytime.
[20:17] ---
    Thank you.
[20:19] ---
    Next time, let's take
    another bath together, okay?
[20:21] ---
    No!
[20:23] ---
    --Nooooooooooo!!
[20:23] ---
    --Kobato!
[20:27] ---
    What'd you do to her?
[20:29] ---
    I didn't do anything!
[20:32] ---
    That aside, Kodaka...
[20:34] ---
    What?
[20:35] ---
    U-Um, about what happened last night...
[20:40] ---
    Last night?
[20:42] ---
    Sorry, the President made
    me drink wine last night,
[20:46] ---
    and I was so drunk that
    I don't remember anything.
[20:49] ---
    Did something happen?
[20:50] ---
    Um... well... that is...
[20:53] ---
    Nothing!
[20:55] ---
    Kobato-chan! Wait!
[20:58] ---
    The best thing to do is not
    remember anything, even if it is a lie.
[21:02] ---
    Kodaka-kun...
[21:03] ---
    Yes?
[21:05] ---
    Wh-What?!
[21:07] ---
    Please take good care of my daughter!
[21:11] ---
    O-Of course...
[21:13] ---
    ...Pegasus-san!
[21:16] ---
    Y-You wretch!
[21:18] ---
    Well, excuse me.
[21:24] ---
    Knock that off! Stella!
[21:36] ---
    "0001 No Subject - Kashiwazaki Sena"
[21:36] ---
    "0002 No Subject - Mikazuki Yozora"
[21:37] ---
    "You really don't remember anything
    about last night, right? Really?"
[21:47] ---
    "Kodaka"
    "Really, really, really."
[21:56] ---
    "0001 No Subject - Mikazuki Yozora"
[21:56] ---
    "0002 No Subject - Kashiwazaki Sena"
[21:57] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora"
[21:57] ---
    "Monday, Club at 2:00."
[22:02] ---
    "Incoming Mail..."
[22:03] ---
    "Taka - No Subject"
[22:03] ---
    "Meat - No Subject"
[22:04] ---
    "Taka"
[22:04] ---
    "Roger!"
[22:15] ---
    All right!
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking
    that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:58] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:02] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:51] ---
    When I woke up in the morning, an old man's
    sleeping face was only centimeters away from me!
[23:54] ---
    Hayato...
[23:56] ---
    Oh, God... You say my
    dad's name in your sleep?!
[23:59] ---
    W-Where...?! W-What did you do to me?!
[24:02] ---
    What are you doing in my bed?!
[24:04] ---
    I'm Hasegawa Kodaka and...
[24:05] ---
    I mean, this is my bed!
[24:07] ---
    You're the one who suddenly
    fell asleep here in the first--
[24:08] ---
    You didn't do anything?!
[24:09] ---
    What are you, a beautiful girl?
[24:11] ---
    Next time: "No One Sleeps at Camp."
[24:11] ---
    "Next time: No One Sleeps at Camp."
[24:13] ---
    Really? I'll never forgive
    you if you're lying!
[24:17] ---
    Th-That's actually pretty cute...

Season 1

10 - No One Sleeps at Camp

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    Neighbors Club activity report...
[00:15] ---
    Today's activity: training camp at the beach.
[00:24] ---
    Oof!
[00:27] ---
    I can finally sit down.
[00:30] ---
    Here!
[00:36] ---
    I'll sit here, too.
[00:48] ---
    Just take one!
[00:48] ---
    By the way, where did Rika go?
[00:50] ---
    She said she was going to check
    out the train's coupling section.
[00:53] ---
    Coupling section?
[00:55] ---
    The old maid again!
[00:58] ---
    Fool. Soon I'll be playing
    your final requiem.
[01:05] ---
    Draw!
[01:07] ---
    I drew the old maid!
[01:09] ---
    That's what you get, poopy vampire!
[01:11] ---
    Now I'm going to win!
[01:15] ---
    This one.
[01:16] ---
    The old maid again!
[01:28] ---
    WANAWANA
[01:29] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[01:30] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:32] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[01:37] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:45] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:49] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[01:52] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[01:56] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[01:59] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[02:03] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[02:10] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[02:12] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[02:18] ---
    SOWASOWA
[02:19] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:21] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[02:23] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:26] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[02:30] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[02:35] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[02:39] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[02:42] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[02:46] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[02:50] ---
    "No One Sleeps at Camp"
[02:55] ---
    An hour's walk from the station...?
[02:58] ---
    And no bus or taxi...
[03:00] ---
    What'd you expect? People normally
    get to their summer house by car!
[03:04] ---
    Well, we're not getting any
    closer just standing here...
[03:09] ---
    Let's go.
[03:11] ---
    What else can we do?
[03:18] ---
    Normally in a situation like this,
    the faculty adviser would drive...
[03:23] ---
    D-Don't be ridiculous!
[03:24] ---
    Genius or not, there's no way
    I could get a driver's license!
[03:27] ---
    Even as your faculty advisor...
[03:29] ---
    I thought you'd be out of shape
    for this, but you're hanging in there.
[03:32] ---
    That's because Rika recharged
    her batteries at the coupling section.
[03:36] ---
    Those rough lumps of iron,
    tightly screwed together...
[03:39] ---
    The whole time the train is running,
    they're going squish-squish, ohhh...
[03:43] ---
    What could be more erotic?!
[03:46] ---
    Just being there made Rika
    feel like getting down and dirty!
[04:03] ---
    O-O-Ocean!
[04:05] ---
    Ocean! Ocean! Oceaaaaaaan!
[04:08] ---
    We're here!
[04:11] ---
    The summer house is this way.
[04:20] ---
    Is it really okay for us to use this?
[04:24] ---
    Of course!
[04:25] ---
    I-I-I'm gonna swim! Bro, I'm gonna swim!
[04:29] ---
    Being excited like that
    shows what a little kid you are!
[04:32] ---
    After we put the bags inside, okay?
[05:00] ---
    Come to think of it, aren't
    we going to do that thing?
[05:02] ---
    Thing?
[05:03] ---
    Where we face the sea, strike
    a pose, and yell, "The ocean!"
[05:07] ---
    It's humiliation play.
[05:10] ---
    Don't even say "humiliation play."
[05:12] ---
    But that reminds me, they
    did that in Mofu Mofu, too.
[05:16] ---
    I've seen that in manga before,
    but what the hell is it about?
[05:20] ---
    Is it a "happy people" ritual?
[05:24] ---
    We may be able to understand if
    we become "happy people" ourselves.
[05:27] ---
    I don't really get it,
    but should we practice?
[05:30] ---
    Right! If we come to the
    beach with friends in the future
[05:33] ---
    and don't know how to do
    it, we'll be at a loss!
[05:36] ---
    Is that really something that you practice?
[05:45] ---
    So we just face the sea
    and yell, "The ocean"?
[05:47] ---
    I don't see the point...
[05:49] ---
    When I give the signal,
    everyone shout for all you're worth.
[05:52] ---
    The pose is up to you.
[05:54] ---
    All right! Here I go!
[05:56] ---
    One... two...
[05:57] ---
    The ocean...
[06:00] ---
    This salt air doesn't
    agree with Rika's lungs.
[06:05] ---
    I-I think I know what it is...
[06:07] ---
    R-Right...
[06:09] ---
    Yeah, huh?
[06:10] ---
    It's better to practice
    something like this on our own.
[06:13] ---
    Let's put off group "The ocean!" yelling
    practice until we've made more progress.
[06:17] ---
    What kind of progress?
[06:21] ---
    The blue sky, white waves,
    and red sun are calling to me!
[06:24] ---
    Yay!
[06:25] ---
    Kobato, no playing until you put sunblock on.
[06:29] ---
    Your counsel is wearisome!
[06:31] ---
    If I get a sunburn and
    take a bath, it hurts so bad...
[06:37] ---
    That's cold!
[06:38] ---
    It's not gonna kill you.
[06:39] ---
    Bro!
[06:40] ---
    That looks extremely indecent, Sempai!
[06:43] ---
    You guys better get some on, too.
[06:45] ---
    I didn't bring any...
[06:48] ---
    But I should be okay...
[06:49] ---
    Big Brother! Slap some UV barrier on me, too!
[06:53] ---
    Yeah, you look like you
    burn easily too, Maria.
[06:55] ---
    Aniki, would you do it to me, too?
[06:58] ---
    Y-Yeah, sure. After Maria...
[07:00] ---
    I'm grateful for your kindness.
[07:02] ---
    In the meantime, I'll rub
    some on your back, Aniki.
[07:03] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[07:05] ---
    Y-Y-Y-Yukimura-kun rubbing
    against Kodaka-sempai's back...
[07:09] ---
    Even though Kodaka-sempai is a little
    nervous, his heart beats fast in anticipation,
[07:13] ---
    as Yukimura-kun puts his unexpectedly
    impressive you-know-what inside...
[07:17] ---
    It's so big...
[07:21] ---
    Excalibur!
[07:26] ---
    I don't understand...
[07:32] ---
    Yozora! P-Put suntan lotion on me!
[07:36] ---
    Huh? Why should I help to process meat?
[07:40] ---
    I-It's no big thing!
[07:44] ---
    Fine. I'll put it on you.
[07:49] ---
    Here I go.
[07:49] ---
    That's cold!
[07:50] ---
    Grin and bear it.
[07:52] ---
    Can't you put it on a little more gently?
[07:54] ---
    I think you're putting
    too much strength into it.
[07:55] ---
    That's because you're not used to it.
[07:58] ---
    Then I guess it'll have to be that way...
[08:00] ---
    Just make sure you get me everywhere.
[08:02] ---
    Sure, leave it to me.
[08:06] ---
    Hey, do you have really big hands?
[08:09] ---
    It's just your imagination.
[08:10] ---
    Really? Maybe it just
    feels differently on my back...
[08:15] ---
    W-W-W-What the heck are you doing?!
[08:17] ---
    Whoops. Don't get up yet.
[08:19] ---
    What? I-I can't move...?
[08:22] ---
    Because I'm pinning
    down your center of gravity...
[08:24] ---
    No matter how much strength you
    put into it, you won't be able to get up!
[08:28] ---
    Exposing your back to me was stupid, Meat!
[08:31] ---
    Rub the lotion on with your hands, idiot!
[08:34] ---
    What's the difference if
    I use my hands or feet?
[08:36] ---
    There's a big difference!
[08:38] ---
    I'm the only one who gets
[08:40] ---
    --to step on people's backs!
[08:40] ---
    --That reminds me, it seems you reward
[08:43] ---
    your male hangers-on by stepping on them.
[08:46] ---
    How's this? Are you happy with my reward?
[08:49] ---
    O-Of course I'm not happy, stupid Yozora!
[08:52] ---
    What I do is valuable because
    they're the feet of a goddess!
[08:55] ---
    I think you're actually pleased
    that I'm walking on your back!
[09:00] ---
    Your body responds honestly!
[09:02] ---
    Th-That's not... true!
[09:05] ---
    Looks like I was right on the money!
[09:06] ---
    Having your body pushed against
    the ground, unable to even get up,
[09:09] ---
    stripped of your pride and
    dignity, in a humiliating position,
[09:12] ---
    just being trampled on!
[09:15] ---
    Being pleased in a situation like
    this makes you a grade-A pervert!
[09:19] ---
    You sow meat slave!
[09:21] ---
    I-It doesn't feel good at all...
[09:24] ---
    Finding joy in being
    abused is the real you, bitch...
[09:28] ---
    You're a born pervert, Meat!
[09:30] ---
    You're a mucus-covered
    walking obscenity, girl meat!
[09:34] ---
    Say, "Please trample me into
    the sand as much as you like!"
[09:37] ---
    Beg for mercy from me, your goddess!
[09:41] ---
    --Don't push... your luck!
[09:43] ---
    --What?!
[09:47] ---
    I-I'm not a pervert!
[09:50] ---
    I'm a queen and a goddess! Got it?!
[09:57] ---
    Honestly, you're saucy, Meat!
[10:00] ---
    Oh! Sena's boobs are big, aren't they?!
[10:07] ---
    Damn you, Yozora, you evil slime!
[10:12] ---
    You're the one who's covered in slime.
[10:14] ---
    Idiot!!
[10:18] ---
    Even at the beach, she gets like this...
[10:22] ---
    There!
[10:24] ---
    Nice!
[10:26] ---
    Got it!
[10:29] ---
    Okay...
[10:33] ---
    There!
[10:41] ---
    I'm the only one who can cook?
[10:45] ---
    Was there yogurt?
[10:54] ---
    What are you doing here?
[10:57] ---
    K-Kodaka...
[11:01] ---
    D-Did you, um...
[11:04] ---
    ...see that?
[11:06] ---
    S-See what?
[11:08] ---
    Before I ran away, um...
[11:11] ---
    I was putting sunblock on Kobato
    then, so I'm not sure what you mean,
[11:15] ---
    but I bet Yozora was
    teasing you again, wasn't she?
[11:20] ---
    Yeah! Th-That's right!
[11:22] ---
    Dinner's ready.
[11:26] ---
    Good!
[11:42] ---
    Wait for me!
[11:44] ---
    This is relaxing!
[11:46] ---
    Look, Bro!
[11:52] ---
    Welcome!
[11:53] ---
    "Young Tuna"
[11:53] ---
    "Clams"
[12:03] ---
    Kodaka, what are you making?
[12:05] ---
    Paella. You can buy
    seafood cheaper at a port town.
[12:09] ---
    You even know how to make that kind of stuff?
[12:12] ---
    Well, I've been living with
    just Kobato for a long time now.
[12:14] ---
    Isn't there any food that
    you're good at cooking, Yozora?
[12:17] ---
    You've had a cooking class, right?
[12:20] ---
    During the cooking class, I always
    just stood alone in a corner of the room.
[12:24] ---
    The jerks in my group would
    cook as if I weren't there.
[12:29] ---
    After they were finished making it,
    they would put food on my plate,
[12:32] ---
    as if they felt pity for
    the girl sitting on the end,
[12:35] ---
    and I would eat it,
    embarrassed all the while.
[12:38] ---
    I would always finish eating first,
    then wash the dishes that I used.
[12:42] ---
    And that's all I ever did in cooking class.
[12:47] ---
    O-Oh...
[12:55] ---
    Considering it was made
    by Kodaka, this is really good.
[12:57] ---
    It really is delicious!
[12:58] ---
    Tonight's dinner is a step up from usual.
[13:03] ---
    --I'm sure Aniki made this especially for us.
[13:05] ---
    --Stupid poopy vampire!
[13:07] ---
    Shut up! I...
[13:09] ---
    And now the weather...
[13:10] ---
    I guess tonight's the last
    of our training camp...
[13:13] ---
    Even though we're going home tomorrow,
[13:15] ---
    we didn't really do any
    training-camp-like things.
[13:17] ---
    What's a training-camp-like thing?
[13:19] ---
    We practiced yelling "The ocean!"
    while facing the ocean, didn't we?
[13:22] ---
    That doesn't count!
[13:24] ---
    Certainly, Rika wants to
    do a little something more.
[13:28] ---
    Yeah, right?
[13:29] ---
    Yes! When young men and
    women gather together at night, they
[13:32] ---
    have an or--
[13:34] ---
    Don't be raunchy!
[13:35] ---
    Ow...
[13:36] ---
    Then how about doing
    something fitting for a summer night,
[13:37] ---
    like telling ghost stories
    or a test of courage?
[13:40] ---
    I'm surprised. I didn't expect
    a science-oriented girl like you
[13:42] ---
    to say something like that.
[13:44] ---
    All girls love the supernatural, Sempai.
[13:47] ---
    Rika was an innocent girl
    before she became a scientist.
[13:51] ---
    But perverted.
[13:52] ---
    Don't say that about yourself.
[13:54] ---
    They had a test of courage in
    Twinkle School, so I wanna try it too!
[13:58] ---
    Then why don't we start
    by sharing scary stories,
[14:01] ---
    and then go to the forest outside?
[14:04] ---
    That's a good idea.
[14:06] ---
    As Aniki wishes...
[14:08] ---
    The dark of night is my friend.
[14:10] ---
    I don't feel even a smidgen of fear...
[14:13] ---
    I-I'm not scared of ghosts either!
[14:17] ---
    All right...
[14:18] ---
    We'll start with Rika, who had the idea.
[14:21] ---
    I'm going to set the bar high at the start.
[14:29] ---
    There was a book that looked
    like "Ultra-Mecha" on the cover...
[14:33] ---
    ...but when you opened it,
    it said "Ultra-Magical" inside!
[14:39] ---
    Hey. Are you gonna keep going...?
[14:41] ---
    That's the end.
[14:43] ---
    Fine! Next.
[14:45] ---
    Then I'll go...
[14:48] ---
    "The Steamed Meat Dumpling Terror."
[14:49] ---
    That's a funny story!
[14:51] ---
    But it really is scary...
[14:53] ---
    Next!
[14:55] ---
    I'm going to push you into the
    deepest pit of terror with my scary story.
[15:06] ---
    W-Why isn't anyone scared?
[15:08] ---
    Next...
[15:10] ---
    All right! I'll let you hear a ghost story
    that I've been keeping in reserve.
[15:14] ---
    The title is...
[15:16] ---
    "The Miso Soup Terror."
[15:21] ---
    "I-It hurts!"
[15:23] ---
    "Wh-Why Augustinus?!
    M-Mother, why did you put it in there?!"
[15:27] ---
    "Why did you put it in Augustinus' head?!"
[15:31] ---
    Why are you laughing?
[15:33] ---
    Kodaka, why are you such a loser?
[15:36] ---
    Your story was...
[15:39] ---
    I don't understand your tastes.
[15:43] ---
    Then we'll finish with my story
    and move on to the test of courage.
[15:47] ---
    It's a story I heard from a friend...
[15:50] ---
    But you don't have any friends...
[15:52] ---
    Shut it, Meat!
[15:54] ---
    Let's call the main
    character of my tale... "Eiko."
[16:00] ---
    She went to a public middle school.
[16:03] ---
    She had one close friend.
[16:06] ---
    The friend's name was...
    let's see... "Waiko," we'll say...
[16:09] ---
    Eiko and Waiko always
    did everything together.
[16:13] ---
    Meanwhile, there was a
    ghost story about their school.
[16:18] ---
    About a ghost called "Yamiko-san."
[16:21] ---
    It was said that she would haunt
    anyone who betrayed a friend at school,
[16:26] ---
    and kill them.
[16:32] ---
    One day, these girls started
    competing over a boy they liked,
[16:34] ---
    and a crack formed in their friendship.
[16:36] ---
    Eiko betrayed her former best friend, Waiko,
[16:38] ---
    bullied her, and drove her to suicide.
[16:41] ---
    Then Eiko started noticing
    supernatural phenomena all around her.
[16:46] ---
    It continued to escalate...
[16:48] ---
    And then, at last...
[17:08] ---
    Eiko vanished, never to be seen again.
[17:17] ---
    So, shall we do a test of courage?
[17:19] ---
    Hey, Yozora, maybe we
    oughta call it a night...
[17:21] ---
    It's dark out there, and dangerous...
[17:23] ---
    Th-Th-That's right! If anything
    happened, we'd be in a real jam!
[17:27] ---
    Then should we call off the test of courage?
[17:39] ---
    After a while,
[17:41] ---
    Yozora's ghost story was no longer
    so scary that I couldn't sleep.
[17:46] ---
    It was just the part about
    betraying a best friend
[17:50] ---
    that stuck in my head.
[17:53] ---
    He probably thinks I'm a traitor, too...
[18:04] ---
    It can't be!
[18:08] ---
    Kodaka... Hey, Kodaka...
[18:11] ---
    Sena? What's wrong?
[18:13] ---
    C-Come with me for a second.
[18:18] ---
    What is it?
[18:20] ---
    I-I want you to come with me to the bathroom.
[18:22] ---
    The bathroom?
[18:23] ---
    I-It's not like I'm scared!
[18:26] ---
    But you know, just in case...
[18:30] ---
    You should have Yozora go
    with you. She's in the same room!
[18:33] ---
    I'm sure she'd just make
    fun of me if I asked her!
[18:37] ---
    Can we hurry? I can't hold it anymore...
[18:39] ---
    Yeah, sure...
[19:00] ---
    You're there, right, Kodaka?
[19:02] ---
    Yeah, I'm here.
[19:06] ---
    Kodaka, are you there?
[19:07] ---
    I said I'm here...
[19:08] ---
    You're there, right?!
[19:09] ---
    I said I'm here!
[19:11] ---
    Answer me, idiot!
[19:15] ---
    Kodaka, are you there?
[19:16] ---
    I'm right here.
[19:23] ---
    Y-You'd better not tell Yozora about this.
[19:27] ---
    If you tell her, I won't forgive you!
[19:29] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[19:38] ---
    Bro...
[19:39] ---
    What's wrong, Kobato?
[19:40] ---
    Go with me to the bathroom.
[19:45] ---
    Bro, are you there?
[19:47] ---
    I'm here...
[19:58] ---
    The bathroom?
[19:59] ---
    Oh! How did you know?
    You're amazing, Big Brother!
[20:06] ---
    A-Are you there, Big Brother?!
[20:09] ---
    Big Brother! Big Brother!
[20:11] ---
    I-I'm here! Relax and go poo!
[20:14] ---
    Okay!
[20:18] ---
    Yeah, yeah, let's go to the bathroom.
[20:21] ---
    Huh? The bathroom?
[20:22] ---
    Rika just came here to
    crawl into bed with you...
[20:26] ---
    Get out!
[20:32] ---
    I should've gone myself before...
[20:38] ---
    W-What, Kodaka? What's wrong?
[20:41] ---
    I'm going to the bathroom!
[20:42] ---
    M-Me too.
[20:44] ---
    A-As long as we're both going,
    let's go together, Kodaka.
[20:47] ---
    Don't tell me you're scared
    to go to the toilet yourself
[20:49] ---
    because of the Yamiko-san story?
[20:52] ---
    O-O-O-Of course not!
[20:55] ---
    Why are you scared of a
    story you came up with?
[20:59] ---
    If the story didn't scare me, how could
    I hope to scare other people with it?
[21:07] ---
    Um, Kodaka...
[21:09] ---
    You can go first.
[21:11] ---
    Thanks.
[21:16] ---
    K-Kodaka, you're there, right?
[21:18] ---
    I'm here...
[21:21] ---
    Kodaka?
[21:23] ---
    I'm here!
[21:24] ---
    I mean, I have to go too, so
    there's no way I'm gonna leave.
[21:29] ---
    Y-Yeah, that's right.
[21:37] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[21:38] ---
    It's okay.
[21:44] ---
    I'll wait for you to finish too, Kodaka.
[21:52] ---
    Kodaka, weren't you scared by that story?
[21:56] ---
    Not at all.
[21:57] ---
    I see... You weren't scared.
[22:02] ---
    But... well...
[22:08] ---
    It's not good to betray a friend, is it?
[22:11] ---
    Nope.
[22:14] ---
    You're right.
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:41] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte
    ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:58] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:50] ---
    By the way, with those ghost stories
    before, I trailed behind you a bit, but...
[23:54] ---
    Huh? What do you mean, a "bit"?
[23:56] ---
    I think everyone knows that
    when it comes to storytelling,
[23:58] ---
    I'm skilled at funny stories.
[24:00] ---
    I'd better get some sleep...
[24:01] ---
    Wait a second!
    What's with that sudden reaction?!
[24:04] ---
    Don't you want to hear my comedic monologue?
[24:06] ---
    Not in the least!
[24:07] ---
    At least hear the title!
[24:09] ---
    I'm going to bed.
[24:10] ---
    Wait! Wait! Wait!
[24:12] ---
    Next time: "Girls are Super Cute in Yukatas!"
[24:12] ---
    "Next time: Girls are Super Cute in Yukatas!"
[24:15] ---
    So the next title is...
[24:17] ---
    Huh? Yozora? Hey!

Season 1

11 - Girls Are Super-Cute in Yukatas

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] ---
    I like the way your mom thinks.
[00:13] ---
    Yeah...
[00:14] ---
    In that case, I'll value
    you as much as 100 friends...
[00:19] ---
    Even if the whole world becomes
    your enemy, I'll always be your friend.
[00:23] ---
    D-Don't say such embarrassing things!
[00:27] ---
    Hey... What should I call you?
[00:33] ---
    Me...?
[00:36] ---
    Call me...
[00:38] ---
    Then I'm Taka.
[00:45] ---
    You're slow, Taka!
[00:49] ---
    Wait up...
[00:58] ---
    A dream...?
[01:01] ---
    You're slow, Taka!
[01:05] ---
    Wait for me...
[01:18] ---
    No good. I can't remember.
[01:31] ---
    QUIVER
[01:32] ---
    Vigorously bursting with goodness
[01:33] ---
    You know, that's surprisingly addicting
[01:35] ---
    Let's get the ball rolling
    while you're idly acting shy!
[01:40] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[01:48] ---
    "Haganai"
[01:52] ---
    I look cool, but I'm actually super lonely
[01:55] ---
    (My delusions went bye, bye, bye
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[01:59] ---
    I'm not held back any, but this isn't enough
[02:02] ---
    (Is a happy life in the real world far, far, far away?
    Best friends are a nope, nope, nope, nope)
[02:06] ---
    If a group of unlucky
    people gathered together,
[02:13] ---
    Ah--I can't picture it
[02:15] ---
    This situation is like stepping on a mine!
[02:21] ---
    FIDGET
[02:22] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:24] ---
    I don't want to regret this 100 times
[02:26] ---
    Totally toss aside and
    shake off that boring pride
[02:29] ---
    Unfortunately, this idea popped into my mind,
    and you know, it's surprisingly addicting
[02:33] ---
    Let's find some as we
    clash and rattle each other!
[02:38] ---
    Let's make friends and play, yeah!
[02:42] ---
    I totally, totally want to take a peek
[02:45] ---
    You! Toss aside and shake yourself off
[02:49] ---
    Yes! Well? What do you think of that?
[02:53] ---
    "Girls are Super Cute in Yukatas"
[02:55] ---
    "Congratulations, Track and Field Club"
[02:55] ---
    "Congratulations, Brass Band Club"
[03:03] ---
    One more week left of summer vacation.
[03:06] ---
    Well, it looks like I'll finish
    summer homework during the break...
[03:12] ---
    Come to think of it...
[03:14] ---
    There's a summer festival tomorrow
[03:16] ---
    at the shrine near the
    Tooya shopping district.
[03:18] ---
    A festival...
[03:22] ---
    And...?
[03:24] ---
    And?
[03:25] ---
    There's a summer festival, right?
[03:26] ---
    Yeah...
[03:27] ---
    I just remembered seeing a hanging
    paper lantern on the way to school.
[03:33] ---
    So you just wanted to say that?
[03:35] ---
    You weren't gonna suggest we
    all go to the festival together...
[03:38] ---
    Why should I bother going to a
    place that's probably overcrowded?
[03:42] ---
    Exactly.
[03:44] ---
    A long time ago, Rika tried going to
[03:48] ---
    the biannual doujinshi fair in Tokyo...
[03:51] ---
    ...but the train on the way was so cramped,
[03:54] ---
    Rika got off en route and went home.
[03:57] ---
    Ever since, Rika's been aware that
    festivals are hard for her to deal with.
[04:00] ---
    I've heard of that fair before.
[04:02] ---
    It's supposed to be really crowded
[04:05] ---
    because that's the only place
    you can buy certain books, right?
[04:08] ---
    You weren't interested enough to get them?
[04:10] ---
    Oh, you just struck a nerve, Sempai.
[04:15] ---
    Striking a girl and causing her
    pain isn't an admirable thing to do.
[04:18] ---
    Don't drag the conversation
    down to the gutter level!
[04:21] ---
    If you strip the gutter level
    away from Rika, what's left?!
[04:25] ---
    How about a brilliant
    inventor or a scientist...
[04:28] ---
    ...or a cool character with
    glasses...? There's plenty!
[04:31] ---
    Have more faith in yourself.
[04:33] ---
    All of those things are mere
    tools to highlight indecent topics,
[04:35] ---
    because of their incongruity.
[04:37] ---
    Smut is Rika's true nature!
[04:40] ---
    Incidentally, those
    books that aren't distributed
[04:42] ---
    are obtained for Rika
    through people who work for
[04:45] ---
    video game companies she's
    assisted on projects.
[04:49] ---
    It wouldn't be an overstatement to say
[04:51] ---
    that this is the reason Rika
    helps these game companies!
[04:54] ---
    Huh... You've really thought of lots
    of ways to make up for being a shut-in.
[04:59] ---
    See?
[05:01] ---
    H-Hey, Kodaka...
[05:04] ---
    At summer festivals, do they, uh...
[05:06] ---
    D-Do they have octopus dumpling stalls?
[05:09] ---
    Well, they must have food stalls, anyway...
[05:13] ---
    You like octopus dumplings?
[05:15] ---
    S-Something wrong with that?
[05:16] ---
    No, I love 'em.
[05:19] ---
    A long time ago, when I lived in Osaka,
[05:22] ---
    I didn't fit in at all with the people
    around me, and was kind of depressed...
[05:25] ---
    But the octopus dumplings my dad brought home
[05:28] ---
    from a well-known store
    became my comfort food.
[05:32] ---
    Delicious octopus dumplings
    can save the mind.
[05:36] ---
    On the other hand...
[05:38] ---
    ...I can't tolerate bastards who sell crappy
    octopus dumplings with a straight face!
[05:42] ---
    W-Wait, Kodaka!
[05:44] ---
    I'm not that into octopus dumplings!
[05:48] ---
    I just like them because they taste good...
[05:54] ---
    It's been a long time, so I would
    accept octopus dumplings as an offering.
[05:58] ---
    You wanna eat octopus dumplings too, Kobato?
[06:00] ---
    Octopus dumplings!
[06:02] ---
    Big Brother! I wanna eat
    octopus dumplings, too!
[06:05] ---
    Mmm, then why don't we go together
    to the summer festival tomorrow?
[06:10] ---
    Let's go!
[06:12] ---
    Why do you have to go?! Odious agent of God!
[06:15] ---
    I wanna go alone with Big Brother!
[06:18] ---
    --You go home, poopy vampire!
[06:20] ---
    --Me too! Me too! I'm going, too!
[06:22] ---
    I wanna eat octopus dumplings!
[06:23] ---
    Aniki, I want to join as well.
[06:26] ---
    Sure.
[06:28] ---
    So, with Sena and Yukimura,
    that makes five of us who're going...
[06:30] ---
    --W-Wait, Kodaka!
[06:30] ---
    --Wait a moment, Sempai!
[06:32] ---
    --I'm going to the summer festival, too!
[06:32] ---
    --Rika's going to the summer festival, too!
[06:34] ---
    Why, again...?
[06:36] ---
    I thought you two weren't good with crowds...
[06:38] ---
    For the octopus dumplings!
[06:41] ---
    I see! You're willing to brave the crowd
    for the sake of the octopus dumplings, huh?
[06:46] ---
    I understand!
[06:51] ---
    Kodaka-s empai!
[06:53] ---
    Hi! Everyone's early!
[06:56] ---
    R-Rika...
[06:58] ---
    Look what you can do
    when you put your mind to it!
[07:03] ---
    What's that, a backhanded compliment?!
[07:05] ---
    Please compliment me more directly!
[07:08] ---
    That looks great on you.
[07:09] ---
    I-It's embarrassing when you're that direct!
[07:14] ---
    Silly Sempai.
[07:16] ---
    What do you want me to do?
[07:18] ---
    Now only Meat isn't here.
[07:21] ---
    So let's go.
[07:23] ---
    What do you mean "let's go," stupid Yozora?
[07:26] ---
    Jeez. A girl can't be too careful around you.
[07:29] ---
    Anyway, nothing can start without me, right?
[07:33] ---
    What was that for?!
[07:35] ---
    Nothing. Now let's go!
[07:38] ---
    Hey, wait!
[07:41] ---
    "Tooya Station Square Shopping District"
[07:42] ---
    Kodaka, what's the meaning of this?
[07:43] ---
    It's a summer festival
[07:45] ---
    and you didn't have
    Kobato-chan wear a yukata? Is that a joke?
[07:48] ---
    It's not like *everyone
    *wears a yukata to a festival.
[07:52] ---
    You don't need to bring
    the common folk into it!
[07:54] ---
    I want to see Kobato-chan in a yukata!
[07:57] ---
    Neither Kobato nor I have a yukata, anyway...
[08:01] ---
    Sempai!
[08:02] ---
    It looks like you can rent
    yukatas from that kimono shop!
[08:06] ---
    "We have yukatas for rent."
[08:06] ---
    Let's go!
[08:08] ---
    You wanna wear a cute yukata
    too, don't you, Kobato-chan?
[08:11] ---
    Mmm...
[08:18] ---
    What do you say we try on a
    yukata, as long as we're here?
[08:21] ---
    Okay...
[08:22] ---
    I wanna get to the octopus dumplings!
[08:26] ---
    You should spend eternity here...
[08:29] ---
    What?! A vampire talks to me like that?!
[08:32] ---
    Yeah...
[08:34] ---
    Yukimura, why don't you go on ahead
    and buy some octopus dumplings?
[08:38] ---
    Understood. I'm pleased
    to be your gofer, Aniki.
[08:42] ---
    You come, too.
[08:45] ---
    I don't need a yukata.
[08:47] ---
    Your looks are the only
    decent thing about you,
[08:50] ---
    so it'd be a waste if
    you don't wear a yukata.
[08:52] ---
    Yeah, now that you mention it, a yukata
[08:55] ---
    would probably accent
    Yozora's long, black hair.
[08:58] ---
    N-No...
[09:01] ---
    I don't like that kind of style.
[09:09] ---
    "Tooya Summer Festival"
[09:20] ---
    Too bad, I bet she'd look good in a yukata...
[09:25] ---
    Bro!
[09:27] ---
    Cute! Cute! Cute!
[09:29] ---
    --Well...?
[09:29] ---
    --You're so cute I wanna eat you up!
[09:31] ---
    It looks pretty damn good...
[09:33] ---
    You remind me of a stupid "new adult"
    I saw on the news, who was arrested
[09:38] ---
    at a coming-of-age ceremony
    for disorderly conduct.
[09:42] ---
    But I liked it...
[09:45] ---
    But I guess the real problem
    is your pudding-colored hair.
[09:51] ---
    My hair?
[09:52] ---
    I think that hair is the main reason you're
    taken for a juvenile delinquent at school.
[09:57] ---
    Why don't you dye it black?
[10:01] ---
    I have seriously thought
    about dyeing it before...
[10:07] ---
    ...but you know that my
    mom isn't alive, right?
[10:11] ---
    Mm... Yeah...
[10:14] ---
    My face looks like my dad's, so it's
    hard to tell I'm only half-Japanese, right?
[10:18] ---
    I wish I was like Kobato,
[10:20] ---
    who has both our mom's face and hair...
[10:24] ---
    But this hair is the only thing
    I've inherited from my mom
[10:28] ---
    that you can tell by looking at me.
[10:31] ---
    It feels like dyeing it would
    be denying my connection to her.
[10:36] ---
    Even if it's the reason
    for some bad experiences...
[10:43] ---
    Kodaka...
[10:45] ---
    You really are different
    from other boys, aren't you?
[10:50] ---
    Come on, let's go!
[10:58] ---
    Should we go?
[10:59] ---
    Yeah!
[11:03] ---
    "Offering"
[11:05] ---
    Oh, there they are!
[11:07] ---
    Sorry to keep you guys waiting!
[11:10] ---
    Welgum bah!
[11:14] ---
    Don't talk with your mouth full.
[11:27] ---
    The okonomiyaki are good, too!
[11:29] ---
    How the hell much can you eat?
[11:31] ---
    Is this Heaven?!
[11:37] ---
    What kind of way to eat is that?
[11:40] ---
    I'm practicing erotic
    eating on a chocolate banana.
[11:43] ---
    Does it excite you?
[11:45] ---
    Not at all.
[11:47] ---
    Here, Kobato-chan.
[11:48] ---
    No!
[11:53] ---
    Mmm... It's missing something...
[11:55] ---
    Aniki...
[11:57] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[11:58] ---
    Oh, thanks.
[12:03] ---
    Please.
[12:04] ---
    Thank you.
[12:06] ---
    Let's see... I wonder how
    this one will taste...
[12:13] ---
    How is it, Aniki?
[12:16] ---
    It has kind of a light and fluffy texture,
[12:18] ---
    but the thin skin makes it fall apart.
[12:19] ---
    but the thin skin makes it fall apart.
[12:19] ---
    "Octopus Dumplings"
[12:20] ---
    And the piece of octopus inside is too small!
[12:22] ---
    This won't do.
[12:23] ---
    I see...
[12:24] ---
    All right! Let's all look for a
    better octopus dumpling stand!
[12:28] ---
    I've had enough to eat.
[12:30] ---
    Rika, too.
[12:31] ---
    Big Brother, I wanna eat that
    thing that looks like a cloud next!
[12:36] ---
    This evening's offerings were grand!
[12:39] ---
    I'm stuffed.
[12:41] ---
    But...
[12:42] ---
    Sena! Everyone! Didn't you wanna
    eat delicious octopus dumplings?!
[12:47] ---
    Eh, whatever.
[12:48] ---
    --What did we come to this festival for?!
[12:49] ---
    --Well, I think everyone's full, so...
[12:52] ---
    Shall we go home?
[12:53] ---
    We might as well go home...
[12:55] ---
    You're going home?!
[12:56] ---
    We ate octopus dumplings,
    so what else would we do here?
[12:59] ---
    I'm not satisfied!
[13:01] ---
    Th-That's right! And as long as
    we're here, we can play games...
[13:05] ---
    At your age, you want to scoop
    for goldfish and throw rings?
[13:08] ---
    N-No, it's not like that...
[13:12] ---
    I mean, don't tell me you
    wanna go home right away
[13:16] ---
    because you're scared I'll beat
    you at the festival's games?!
[13:19] ---
    I told you from the
    beginning that I hate crowds.
[13:22] ---
    You have a short memory, Meat.
[13:25] ---
    Although...
[13:26] ---
    this looks like nothing compared
    to the pool the other day...
[13:30] ---
    I think I'll acquaint you
    with reality, cheeky Meat.
[13:36] ---
    Then let's go.
[13:38] ---
    First, let's see, I wanna
    try that goldfish scooping...
[13:41] ---
    I-I mean--I challenge you to
    a goldfish scooping showdown!
[13:47] ---
    Hmph. Your goddess has
    come to save you, goldfish.
[13:51] ---
    I'm going to shatter your idiotic delusion.
[13:54] ---
    I am the goddess here.
[13:57] ---
    Here you are, Sir!
[13:58] ---
    Yep.
[13:59] ---
    There ya go!
[14:00] ---
    Thank you!
[14:03] ---
    Go!
[14:05] ---
    What is this?! It ripped!
[14:08] ---
    That's because it's paper.
[14:10] ---
    The idea is to catch a
    goldfish without letting it rip.
[14:14] ---
    Oh, come on!
[14:16] ---
    Just stay still and let me
    catch you, damn goldfish!
[14:19] ---
    How dare you make me
    throw my money away on you
[14:21] ---
    when you cost only a handful of yen?!
[14:24] ---
    I'll take ten of them together!
[14:26] ---
    Sure...
[14:30] ---
    I did it!
[14:31] ---
    Wha...?! That's not fair!
[14:33] ---
    It's called "strategy"!
[14:36] ---
    Please don't cheat like that...
[14:37] ---
    "Goldfish Scooping"
[14:39] ---
    I'll look the other way if you take a hike.
[14:44] ---
    Be thankful, fishy!
[14:47] ---
    From now on, your name is "Kandata."
[14:50] ---
    Be grateful!
[14:51] ---
    Meat!
[14:52] ---
    We'll do that next!
[14:54] ---
    "Candy Diecutting"
[14:54] ---
    "100 yen each time"
[14:56] ---
    No matter what we do, it's a
    foregone conclusion that I'll win!
[14:59] ---
    That last one was through cheating!
[15:01] ---
    Let's go!
[15:02] ---
    You're on!
[15:04] ---
    Sempai, why don't we leave those
[15:06] ---
    --two alone and play with each other?
[15:06] ---
    --Hey, Meat! That's too simple!
[15:11] ---
    Yeah...
[15:12] ---
    Yay!
[15:13] ---
    I'm gonna play with Big Brother!
[15:21] ---
    My water balloon is bigger than yours!
[15:23] ---
    --Mine is prettier, so I win, dummy!
[15:27] ---
    --You!
[15:28] ---
    Do you seriously think you won with that?!
[15:30] ---
    Anybody could see it was my victory!
[15:33] ---
    You couldn't even carve
    an umbrella! Pathetic, Meat!
[15:37] ---
    I'm not cut out for that
    kind of puny detail work!
[15:41] ---
    There!
[15:42] ---
    "Roulette"
[15:42] ---
    "The Best: 100!"
[15:42] ---
    Let's have a showdown
    with that roulette wheel!
[15:44] ---
    Sauce rice crackers...
[15:47] ---
    Fine!
[15:55] ---
    How was that?
[15:57] ---
    I don't believe it...
[16:00] ---
    Here. The special prize!
[16:03] ---
    Sempai! Rika already has this game system,
[16:06] ---
    so she's giving it to you.
[16:08] ---
    Please think of it as Rika and play with it!
[16:12] ---
    Then, let's put it in the club room.
[16:16] ---
    G-Good idea...
[16:18] ---
    Meat! That was lowdown, Meat!
[16:20] ---
    Shut up, stupid Yozora!
[16:22] ---
    My win was a win!
[16:24] ---
    That's no kind of win!
[16:26] ---
    You two get the hell outta here!
[16:34] ---
    Here.
[16:35] ---
    Thank you, Sempai!
[16:39] ---
    Kodaka, I've been looking for you!
[16:41] ---
    I figured you could hold my stuff!
[16:44] ---
    All these prizes are getting
    in the way of our showdown.
[16:47] ---
    Help us carry them, Kodaka!
[16:49] ---
    I can't! I've already got stuff to carry.
[16:52] ---
    A-A game system?!
[16:54] ---
    How?!
[16:55] ---
    It's thanks to "Deadeye Rika."
[16:59] ---
    I guess that does it for tonight...
[17:01] ---
    Well, I'm sure if we
    kept going, I would've won...
[17:05] ---
    What are you talking about?!
[17:06] ---
    I'm ahead by one win!
[17:09] ---
    The goldfish scoop doesn't count, idiot--
[17:11] ---
    Hey, let's meet up with
    Yukimura and the girls.
[17:15] ---
    Yeah. I'll be waiting at
    the west gate of the shrine.
[17:19] ---
    Stella-san said she'll pick you up?
[17:21] ---
    Yeah, but because of the festival, she said
[17:24] ---
    she doesn't know how long
    it'll take to get here by car.
[17:26] ---
    I see...
[17:28] ---
    Hey, since we're here, how
    about shooting off fireworks?
[17:31] ---
    We have a lot of them...
[17:32] ---
    Fireworks!
[17:33] ---
    I agree. After all, I doubt we'll have
[17:35] ---
    another chance to do fireworks after this.
[17:37] ---
    I've only ever done
    fireworks in games before!
[17:41] ---
    It sounds like fun!
[17:42] ---
    Then I'll buy a bucket and some candles!
[17:47] ---
    I'm gonna light it.
[17:58] ---
    It's on fire! It's totally on fire!
[18:03] ---
    Gaze upon my secret fire magic technique!
[18:07] ---
    Burn in the fire of
    purgatory and die in obscurity!
[18:10] ---
    Megiddo Flame!
[18:16] ---
    I'm doing it, too!
[18:17] ---
    Don't copy me, idiot!
[18:20] ---
    Rika will investigate fireworks next.
[18:25] ---
    People's dreams are fleeting...
[18:28] ---
    I guess a person's life is like a sparkler,
[18:30] ---
    lasting but an instant before dying out.
[18:35] ---
    Triple sparklers!
[18:37] ---
    You've got a long way to go!
[18:57] ---
    Finally the last boss, huh?
[19:00] ---
    This is the last one.
[19:13] ---
    That's it?
[19:15] ---
    Disappointing, just like Meat.
[19:18] ---
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[19:27] ---
    Just when I'm disappointed,
    you pull it off, Last Boss!
[19:31] ---
    Yeah, right?
[19:32] ---
    It wasn't meant as a compliment to you, Meat!
[19:45] ---
    It's still going! Guess it's
    not the final boss for nothing!
[20:04] ---
    Huh? Does something stink?
[20:06] ---
    That isn't the smell of gunpowder...
[20:10] ---
    Hey, Y-Yozora!
[20:11] ---
    You're on fire, Yozora!
[20:15] ---
    W-Water!
[20:18] ---
    --There!
[20:18] ---
    --Turn around, Yozora!
[20:20] ---
    R-Right!
[20:31] ---
    The fire is out...
[20:33] ---
    Um... Yozora...
[20:37] ---
    I'm going home.
[20:41] ---
    Yozora...
[20:49] ---
    In the one week between then
    and the end of summer vacation...
[20:53] ---
    ...we didn't see Yozora at Neighbors Club.
[21:01] ---
    "September 1"
[21:03] ---
    Tanabe.
[21:03] ---
    Here!
[21:04] ---
    Tsuda.
[21:05] ---
    Here...
[21:06] ---
    Hasegawa.
[21:07] ---
    Yeah...
[21:08] ---
    Hirasawa.
[21:09] ---
    Here!
[21:10] ---
    Fujioka.
[21:11] ---
    Here.
[21:12] ---
    Horiguchi.
[21:13] ---
    Here.
[21:13] ---
    --Matsushita.
[21:14] ---
    --Yozora...
[21:15] ---
    Here.
[21:15] ---
    Mikazuki.
[21:21] ---
    Here!
[21:27] ---
    Well, I'll call it "safe."
    Hurry up and take your seat.
[21:30] ---
    Yes, Sir.
[21:50] ---
    ...Sora?
[21:59] ---
    Long time no see, Taka.
[22:04] ---
    That was...
[22:07] ---
    ...a ten-year "long time no see."
[22:36] ---
    Ah, my mind is escaping
    reality as ideally as imaginable
[22:42] ---
    Not that it really matters
    now if I... make friends
[22:46] ---
    Those eyes that belittle me saying,
    "You're a lonesome person on your own," bug me
[22:52] ---
    So, while I was thinking
    that it'd be cool...
[22:55] ---
    ...if only a superficial group gathered up,
[22:58] ---
    They show up, one here,
    one there, and gather together
[23:02] ---
    The unique characters
[23:04] ---
    Throw me off balance
[23:07] ---
    It ticks me off! Especially that mean meat!
[23:09] ---
    My chest is secretly filled with
    apprehension and I feel a bit indecisive
[23:14] ---
    I can't tell you what's in my heart
[23:17] ---
    Am I the one disappointed by that?
[23:20] ---
    Plow through the fog today!
[23:34] ---
    Ever since the day I got left behind,
    my maiden heart has been filled with regret
[23:41] ---
    Hurry and find it--my lost heart
[23:50] ---
    So after the summer festival,
    Yozora didn't come to the Neighbors Club.
[23:55] ---
    Ahhh, the club room is so refreshing
    without that stupid vixen around!
[23:59] ---
    Hey, that's not a nice thing to say!
[24:02] ---
    The truth is the truth!
[24:04] ---
    It's a problem for me!
[24:05] ---
    I need Yozora here!
[24:07] ---
    Why? What's wrong?!
[24:08] ---
    If Yozora doesn't come,
    I don't get my potato chips!
[24:11] ---
    That's why?
[24:12] ---
    Next time: "We Don't Have Many Friends."
[24:12] ---
    "Next time: We Don't Have Many Friends."
[24:15] ---
    Well, I guess it's so relaxing
    without her here, there's nothing to do...

Season 1

12 - We Don't Have Many Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:19] ---
    WANAWANA
[00:20] ---
    Gutto Good hajiketeru
[00:22] ---
    Angai nandai hamatten jan
[00:24] ---
    Hito mishiri shiteru hima ni hajimeyou!
[00:28] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[00:36] ---
    "Haganai"
[00:40] ---
    Kuuru ni miete, jitsu wa chou sabishii
[00:43] ---
    (Mosou nara bai, bai, bai
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[00:47] ---
    Nani fujiyuu naku, dakedo tarinai
[00:50] ---
    (Riajuu kara tooi, tooi, tooi?
    Shinyuu nara inai, inai, inai, inai)
[00:54] ---
    Zannen doushi de atsumattara
[01:01] ---
    Ah- yosou ga dekinai
[01:03] ---
    Tenkai no jirai wo funda!
[01:10] ---
    SOWASOWA
[01:10] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[01:12] ---
    Koukai hyakkai shitakunaitte
[01:14] ---
    Tsumannai puraido nante
    sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[01:17] ---
    Zannen kannen shite mitara,
    angai nandai hamatten jan
[01:21] ---
    Butsukatte, dogimagi atte, mitsukeyou!
[01:26] ---
    Tomodachi tsukucchatte asonjatte Yeh!
[01:30] ---
    Zettai, zettai nozokitai
[01:33] ---
    You! Sutekicchatte furikicchatte
[01:37] ---
    Yes! Doudai? Doudai, sokontoko
[01:39] ---
    "We Don't Have Any Friends"
[01:41] ---
    "We Don't Have Many Friends"
[01:44] ---
    Mikazuki.
[01:47] ---
    Here!
[01:51] ---
    Hurry up and take your seat.
[01:53] ---
    Yes, Sir.
[01:58] ---
    ...Sora?
[02:07] ---
    Long time no see, Taka.
[02:12] ---
    This has been... our first
    meeting in ten years.
[02:18] ---
    As for France and the Holy
    Roman Empire, the Third Crusade...
[02:22] ---
    When he transferred here... that's right...
[02:25] ---
    It was right around our
    seasonal uniform change.
[02:33] ---
    Um... I'm... the transfer student...
[02:37] ---
    Uh... okay!
[02:38] ---
    Hasegawa... Kodaka!
[02:44] ---
    --Osada-sensei...
[02:45] ---
    --What? Did he attack her?
[02:46] ---
    --Is he a delinquent?!
[02:46] ---
    --The new student?!
[02:47] ---
    Look at that hair!
[02:51] ---
    Taka...
[03:01] ---
    It's Taka! The color of that hair,
    the expression of those eyes...
[03:05] ---
    It's definitely him!
[03:07] ---
    He hasn't changed at all
    in the last ten years.
[03:11] ---
    He always did suck at smiling,
[03:14] ---
    and the more effort he used
    to put into trying to be friendly,
[03:16] ---
    the more it backfired on him.
[03:19] ---
    He's...
[03:22] ---
    Textbook...
[03:27] ---
    H-Here...
[03:27] ---
    "World History II"
[03:28] ---
    Thank...
[03:37] ---
    Yep. He's Taka.
[03:42] ---
    My one and only close friend back then...
[03:49] ---
    He didn't even notice!
[03:52] ---
    Well, what do you think, Tomo-chan?
[03:56] ---
    Yeah, him.
[03:58] ---
    Hasegawa Kodaka, the guy
    who hasn't seen me in ten years,
[04:01] ---
    and who hasn't made the
    slightest effort to remember me.
[04:04] ---
    Isn't that terrible?
[04:06] ---
    Yeah...
[04:07] ---
    well, it's because I used to
    dress like a boy ten years ago.
[04:12] ---
    I understand that, but...
[04:14] ---
    What?! I should talk to him first?!
[04:18] ---
    In the first place, I don't know how
    to start a conversation with someone...
[04:25] ---
    So I'm trying to get him to talk to me.
[04:33] ---
    When I arrive at school...
[04:35] ---
    When I leave the classroom after school...
[04:38] ---
    When I take things out of my locker...
[04:41] ---
    Or put them back in...
[04:42] ---
    I always walk by him...
[04:45] ---
    ...but he never says a word to me.
[04:50] ---
    Don't tease me! It is not!
[04:54] ---
    It's my fault?
[04:56] ---
    That's what you always say!
[04:59] ---
    What should we do on the way home?
    Wanna stop by somewhere?
[05:01] ---
    Yeah, how about that accessories
    shop across from the station?
[05:05] ---
    Now that you mention it, that time you--
[05:11] ---
    No, no I can't believe this!
[05:13] ---
    He... Kodaka... saw me?!
[05:16] ---
    Could he hear me talking?!
[05:19] ---
    Don't tell me he heard what I was saying?!
[05:21] ---
    This is bad. This is really,
    really bad! What should I do?!
[05:30] ---
    What?!
[05:33] ---
    Um, can you...
[05:34] ---
    ...see ghosts and stuff like that?
[05:36] ---
    Huh? Ghosts don't exist!
[05:40] ---
    But you were talking to somebody--
[05:42] ---
    You were watching me?!
[05:52] ---
    I-I was just talking to my friend!
[05:55] ---
    My air friend!
[06:00] ---
    That was the first conversation
    I'd had with Taka in ten years.
[06:09] ---
    I've got it! A club!
[06:18] ---
    See you later, Kodaka!
[06:23] ---
    That's it! A club!
[06:26] ---
    Here's the application
    to establish a new club.
[06:28] ---
    Thank you!
[06:39] ---
    If I'm not in a club, I can make one!
[06:44] ---
    A club for just Kodaka and me!
[06:51] ---
    Sometimes I use this chapel
[06:53] ---
    when I want to read somewhere quiet
[06:55] ---
    or when the library's crowded.
[06:59] ---
    It's a really comfortable place.
[07:01] ---
    "Common Room 4"
[07:02] ---
    Sister Takayama Maria is
    in charge of this room.
[07:06] ---
    Apparently, she's still a child...
[07:07] ---
    Well, I don't hate kids.
[07:11] ---
    Excuse me...
[07:21] ---
    Wh-What the hell do you want?!
[07:23] ---
    This is my holy nap room!
[07:26] ---
    It's not a place for scum like you!
[07:32] ---
    "Extracurricular Club Prospectus"
    Um...
[07:33] ---
    I'm Mikazuki Yozora from class 2-5.
[07:36] ---
    I have to ask you, Takayama Maria-sensei...
[07:38] ---
    Forget it!
[07:40] ---
    This little brat...
[07:42] ---
    Um, could you just hear me out first...?
[07:45] ---
    What do I care about that, poopy?!
[07:48] ---
    How about I pop you one?!
[07:50] ---
    I want to make a new club and
    I was hoping to use this room...
[07:53] ---
    No way! Get the hell out
    of here, stupid poop!
[08:08] ---
    All right!
[08:15] ---
    Kodaka, follow me.
[08:17] ---
    Mikazuki talked to him!
[08:19] ---
    To the new guy?!
[08:22] ---
    Yes. This is what a club is!
[08:25] ---
    The purpose is to make friends.
[08:28] ---
    Yes, a club for me and
    Kodaka... Sora and Taka...
[08:32] ---
    ...to become friends once again!
[08:36] ---
    Drifting in the clouds...
[08:41] ---
    A dear smile is floating somewhere.
[08:48] ---
    I wonder why I pushed it away?
[08:57] ---
    Time just for the two of us...
[09:02] ---
    I was too weak to protect you
[09:07] ---
    From the rain that kept
    falling, trying to break us up.
[09:13] ---
    But now I understand what was in your eyes.
[09:19] ---
    The strength that was reflected there,
[09:22] ---
    The words you embraced me with,
[09:25] ---
    They're not in my heart...
[09:31] ---
    What you murmured to me that last time,
[09:37] ---
    Those words that you squeezed
    out run through my head.
[09:43] ---
    "Take care," you said in a tearful voice.
[09:46] ---
    Your cheeks flushed red.
[09:49] ---
    This hand that reached out to
    touch them had never looked so filthy...
[09:55] ---
    As when I changed to a season of one...
[09:59] ---
    Hey, Hasegawa!
[10:02] ---
    Why is he looking at Mikazuki?
[10:03] ---
    I wonder why the two of
    them are standing up...
[10:12] ---
    All right, continuing with attendance...
[10:14] ---
    Miyajima.
[10:15] ---
    Here.
[10:16] ---
    Butou.
[10:17] ---
    Here!
[10:17] ---
    Yaegashi.
[10:19] ---
    Yaegashi?
[10:20] ---
    Y-Yes, I'm here!
[10:21] ---
    Good. Yamazaki.
[10:23] ---
    Here.
[10:34] ---
    That's right--
[10:39] ---
    H-Hey...
[10:41] ---
    What?
[10:42] ---
    Um, what happened to your hair?
[10:45] ---
    Cut it.
[10:46] ---
    Yeah, I can see that...
[10:48] ---
    ...but why all of a sudden?
[10:51] ---
    The night of the summer festival...
[10:53] ---
    But that was just the
    tip, a little bit, right?
[10:58] ---
    You didn't have to cut it all...
[10:59] ---
    It's because you doused my whole head!
[11:02] ---
    No matter how many times I washed my
    hair, the weird stink wouldn't come out...
[11:06] ---
    I-I'm really sorry...
[11:09] ---
    He doused her whole head?
[11:11] ---
    He says "just the tip," but he forced her?!
[11:13] ---
    Mikazuki*-san* resisted, so he...
[11:15] ---
    She washed and washed, but couldn't
    get the weird stink of the white fluid out!
[11:18] ---
    Th-That's not...!
[11:20] ---
    No one said anything about white fluid!
[11:22] ---
    C-Come here a second!
[11:24] ---
    Hey! Wait... Yozora!
[11:33] ---
    I...
[11:35] ---
    Um...
[11:37] ---
    What I'm trying to say...
[11:39] ---
    ...is that I was Sora!
[11:41] ---
    What do you think?!
[11:43] ---
    Um... I'm surprised.
[11:46] ---
    Well, what else?!
[11:47] ---
    What else?
[11:48] ---
    You know, like...
[11:51] ---
    You're happy... or honored... or moved?
[11:55] ---
    How do I put it...? It's
    like I'm bewildered...
[11:59] ---
    I guess "surprised" is the
    strongest feeling, after all.
[12:04] ---
    That haircut suits you pretty well.
[12:09] ---
    I-It's not strange?
[12:12] ---
    No. It's not strange.
[12:14] ---
    O-Oh...
[12:17] ---
    I-I went to a hair salon.
[12:20] ---
    A... A hair salon? That's somethin'.
[12:23] ---
    I was nervous.
[12:25] ---
    I would think so.
[12:28] ---
    You realized it when I transferred here?!
[12:32] ---
    Yeah. From the very beginning.
[12:34] ---
    I'm surprised you knew it was me.
[12:36] ---
    I would recognize that pudding head anywhere.
[12:39] ---
    I see. You've sure got a
    way of convincing a guy.
[12:42] ---
    Huh? But when we first
    talked in the classroom,
[12:46] ---
    didn't you say something
    about not remembering my name?
[12:50] ---
    It was irritating that I recognized you,
    but you didn't recognize me.
[12:55] ---
    That's why you pretended you didn't know?
[12:57] ---
    That's right.
[12:59] ---
    A dead-end?
[13:01] ---
    Well, I apologize for that.
[13:03] ---
    But how can you blame me for not realizing?
[13:07] ---
    I thought he... I mean you... were a b-boy...
[13:12] ---
    I never said I was a boy back then!
[13:16] ---
    You don't normally think someone's a girl
[13:18] ---
    when they wear boys' clothes
    and are quick to pick fights.
[13:24] ---
    You're the one who disappeared
    before I could confess that I was a girl!
[13:30] ---
    You mean that "important thing"
    you were going to tell me was...
[13:34] ---
    Yeah.
[13:36] ---
    But you never showed up that day!
[13:39] ---
    That was... Well, that was...
[13:42] ---
    I was embarrassed to show you...
[13:46] ---
    ...t-to show you what I
    looked like in a skirt.
[13:48] ---
    Skirt?
[13:52] ---
    I wore a skirt the day I was going
    to confess to you that I was a girl...
[13:58] ---
    ...but I'd never worn a skirt before,
[14:01] ---
    so I didn't know if it
    looked okay on me or not...
[14:03] ---
    I thought maybe you'd laugh at me.
[14:06] ---
    And so...
[14:08] ---
    ...I just couldn't show myself to you.
[14:12] ---
    I might've mustered up the courage to do it
[14:15] ---
    if I'd known you were going to move, but...
[14:18] ---
    In other words, it's all your fault!
[14:20] ---
    Why?!
[14:22] ---
    In the first place, there was no
    need to wear a skirt to confess...
[14:27] ---
    Knowing you, I figured you
    wouldn't believe me if I just told you.
[14:31] ---
    Well, you were probably right...
[14:33] ---
    Oh, and also, the fact
    that you and I were frie--
[14:37] ---
    The fact that we were
    childhood acquaintances is
[14:39] ---
    a secret from the rest of the Neighbors Club.
[14:41] ---
    Why?
[14:42] ---
    There's no reason to tell everybody.
[14:45] ---
    Okay, I guess...
[14:46] ---
    Then we'll leave it at that.
[14:48] ---
    Now, let's go.
[14:49] ---
    That's right!
[14:51] ---
    What should I call you from now on?
[14:58] ---
    Yozora! Just Yozora.
[15:00] ---
    Hey, don't you have some sorta nickname?!
[15:04] ---
    I do. I did.
[15:07] ---
    I did, but I'm not going to
    tell you what it was, Kodaka.
[15:09] ---
    Why not?
[15:11] ---
    Because only friends use
    nicknames with each other.
[15:20] ---
    Hi!
[15:22] ---
    Kodaka-sempai, hello--
[15:23] ---
    --oooooooooooooooooooo!
[15:25] ---
    A two-shot of Kodaka-*sempai
    *and a mystery stud-muffin!
[15:29] ---
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Who is the stud-muffin, Sempai?!
[15:32] ---
    Um, "stud-muffin"...?
[15:34] ---
    See the skirt...?
[15:35] ---
    No, wait before you answer!
[15:38] ---
    Rika will try to deduce it!
[15:40] ---
    Cut to the chase! Kodaka-*sempai'*s junior!
[15:43] ---
    Wrong.
[15:44] ---
    Kodaka-sempai's senior?!
[15:45] ---
    No.
[15:46] ---
    Kodaka-*sempai'*s younger brother?!
[15:48] ---
    I don't have one.
[15:49] ---
    Kodaka-*sempai'*s older...
[15:50] ---
    I don't have a big brother either!
[15:53] ---
    Kodaka-*sempai'*s soccer club rival!
[15:55] ---
    When did I join the soccer club?
[15:58] ---
    Kodaka-*sempai's student body president!
[16:00] ---
    I don't really understand that one...
[16:01] ---
    Kodaka-sempai's fiancé?!
[16:03] ---
    How did you come up with that?!
[16:04] ---
    Aniki has bonded with a stud-muffin...
[16:08] ---
    Wh-What are you saying, Yukimura?!
[16:11] ---
    I wonder which one's dominant
    and which one's submissive?
[16:14] ---
    Is Sempai aggressively dominant?
[16:16] ---
    Masochistically submissive?
    Reluctantly dominant?
[16:18] ---
    Reluctantly submissive? Cold-bloodedly
    dominant? Cold-bloodedly submissive?
[16:21] ---
    Oh, just imagining it makes Rika...
[16:24] ---
    Makes Rika...
[16:26] ---
    Damned pervert.
[16:28] ---
    Get a grip. This is...
[16:29] ---
    Huh?
[16:31] ---
    Yozora... You got a haircut?
[16:35] ---
    Y-Yeah. As you can see, Meat...
[16:39] ---
    Yozora... Anego...?
[16:41] ---
    Huh? Yozora... sempai?
[16:45] ---
    That's right. It's Yozora.
[16:47] ---
    You chopped a lot off, huh?
[16:50] ---
    So, why'd you do it?
[16:52] ---
    It has nothing to do with you, wretch.
[16:54] ---
    Why not tell me? You don't
    lose anything by it!
[16:57] ---
    I'd lose my precious time!
[16:59] ---
    What, are you saying that
    talking to me is a waste of time?!
[17:02] ---
    --You finally understand, Meat...
[17:03] ---
    --Things are back to normal.
[17:05] ---
    Bitch...
[17:07] ---
    P-Please wait here!
[17:10] ---
    What's up with her?
[17:12] ---
    See you later!
[17:15] ---
    Are you suffering from a
    broken heart or something?
[17:17] ---
    Meat...
[17:19] ---
    Am I right?! Did you really lose a lover?
[17:23] ---
    Dummy!
[17:24] ---
    You...
[17:25] ---
    Stupid! Stupid! Cast-away-woman Yozora! Lame!
[17:29] ---
    So who dumped you?
[17:32] ---
    Whoever it was has good taste for
    being able to see that Yozora is poo!
[17:38] ---
    What the hell are you doing, stupid Yozora?!
[17:41] ---
    I don't have a broken heart.
[17:43] ---
    But now I know how you would react
[17:46] ---
    if I ever did suffer from heartache.
[17:50] ---
    What...? And here I thought it was
    the perfect chance to bully Yozora...
[17:54] ---
    Well, if it's not a broken
    heart, why did you cut it?
[17:57] ---
    I'm not going to tell you!
[17:58] ---
    Oh, come on! Tell me!
[18:01] ---
    Sempai!
[18:03] ---
    Please try this on!
[18:05] ---
    What is that, a boy's uniform
    from some other school?
[18:08] ---
    That's right, Yozora-sempai!
[18:10] ---
    This is the historic,
    legitimate white uniform coat
[18:13] ---
    that only the student council president
[18:15] ---
    of Galford Academy is allowed to wear!
[18:18] ---
    Galford... Academy...?
[18:21] ---
    Yozora-sempai, I'm sure
    it'll look stylish on you!
[18:24] ---
    I-Isn't this just a cosplay outfit?
[18:28] ---
    Why should I have to cosplay?
[18:31] ---
    It'll look great on you, trust me! Please!
[18:38] ---
    Big Brother!
[18:40] ---
    Big Brother! Big Brother!
[18:41] ---
    You're in high spirits today too, huh, Maria?
[18:45] ---
    Why are you standing in the hall?
[18:47] ---
    Did you do something naughty again?
[18:49] ---
    What do you mean, "again"?
[18:51] ---
    Okay, Kodaka!
[18:56] ---
    What do you think, Kodaka-sempai?!
[18:59] ---
    Um... It looks...
[19:02] ---
    H-Hot guy! There's a really hot guy in here!
[19:06] ---
    Why are you afraid?
[19:07] ---
    Hot guys chew up and spit out cute girls!
[19:12] ---
    That's what the other sisters say!
[19:13] ---
    And since I'm so cute,
    I'm sure to be gnawed on!
[19:16] ---
    I'm going to munch on you.
[19:20] ---
    I don't taste good! I
    don't taste good at all!
[19:24] ---
    I'm going to munch and crunch you.
[19:27] ---
    --Didn't we go through this before?
[19:27] ---
    --I'm gonna be eaten!
[19:30] ---
    Bro, my summer homework is--
[19:35] ---
    Her! If you're gonna eat
    anybody, make it this vampire!
[19:39] ---
    She tastes better than me!
[19:42] ---
    You're gonna eat me?
[19:44] ---
    No, that's just...
[19:46] ---
    Me! Me! Me!
[19:48] ---
    I'm gonna eat up Kobato-chan!
[19:50] ---
    Give her to me--
[19:52] ---
    Hey! What the hell was that for?!
[19:54] ---
    Shut up, pervert! Shame on you! Shame!
[19:58] ---
    Yeesh. She comes in after a week's absence,
[20:01] ---
    but even after a haircut, Yozora is Yozora.
[20:05] ---
    Of course. I am me.
    There's no way I would change.
[20:11] ---
    What should I call you?
[20:18] ---
    Sora?
[20:27] ---
    "Yozora." Just like you've
    been calling me, "Yozora."
[20:32] ---
    Got it, Kodaka?
[20:41] ---
    Got it, Yozora.
[20:43] ---
    Good.
[20:48] ---
    Yozora and I...
[20:50] ---
    I mean, Taka and Sora were once good friends.
[20:56] ---
    But now Hasegawa Kodaka
    and Mikazuki Yozora aren't.
[21:01] ---
    I know that Yozora was Sora,
[21:04] ---
    but we can't suddenly go back to
    our relationship from ten years ago.
[21:13] ---
    Still, what'll happen to us from here on out?
[21:18] ---
    Why did you cut it so short...?
[21:20] ---
    --Can't I have whatever hairstyle I want?
[21:22] ---
    --I don't know that answer right now.
[21:23] ---
    --You know it makes your eyes stand out more.
[21:27] ---
    --What's that, Meat?!
[21:27] ---
    --But that's why I'm going to stick around...
[21:28] ---
    --Sempai, put on this cape next!
[21:33] ---
    Even though you're a dirty vampire...
[21:35] ---
    Shut up, disciple of God!
[21:35] ---
    Here in this club, where the
    purpose is to "make friends"...
[21:39] ---
    Keep falling to the darkness of Hell!
[21:41] ---
    Oh, don't, Student Council President!
[21:43] ---
    I'm not the Student Council President!
[21:47] ---
    "Neighbors Club"
[21:53] ---
    All right, let's begin the Neighbors
    Club activities for the new term!
[22:36] ---
    Aa, nounai souzou risou no genjitsu touhi
[22:42] ---
    Ima sara docchi datte
    ikkedo... tomodachi zukuri
[22:46] ---
    Hitori sabishii yatsu da to
    sagesumu shisen ga ki ni naru
[22:52] ---
    De, uwattsura dake atsumattara...
[22:55] ---
    Sore de ii to omotte iru uchi ni~
[22:58] ---
    Are yo are yo to toujou, sorotte
[23:02] ---
    Hatenkou na yatsura ni
[23:04] ---
    Maipeesu midasarete yuku
[23:07] ---
    Atama kuru! Toku ni nikukkuki niku!
[23:09] ---
    Watashi no mune, hisoka
    ni asette yuujou fudan kimi de
[23:14] ---
    My heart tsutaerarenai
[23:17] ---
    Zannen na no wa watashi na no ka?
[23:20] ---
    Moya moya wo kakiwake Today!
[23:34] ---
    Okizari ni sareta otome
    gokoro ano hi kara kuyande iru
[23:41] ---
    Hayaku mitsuke dashite, maigo no kokoro
[23:50] ---
    Huh? This is the last
    episode--why's there a preview?
[23:53] ---
    You let your guard down too easily, Sempai.
[23:55] ---
    There will actually be an additional episode.
[23:57] ---
    What? What'll it be about?
[23:58] ---
    That's a secret.
[23:59] ---
    Come on, tell me!
[24:00] ---
    Very well, I shall.
[24:01] ---
    Make up your mind!
[24:02] ---
    It's the legendary episode:
[24:03] ---
    the tale barred from broadcast and
    never before revealed to anyone!
[24:07] ---
    I didn't know we had one of those...
[24:08] ---
    And the title is...
[24:10] ---
    "Next time: A Round-Robin
    Story's Ending Is Way Extreme!"
[24:11] ---
    Next time: "A Round-Robin
    Story's Ending Is Way Extreme!"
[24:13] ---
    I've got a bad feeling about this.
[24:14] ---
    The round-robin story:
    the door to a forbidden world!

Season 2

Season 2

14 - Yeah, My Youth Is Seriously Wrong

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    Does he seem in a bad mood to you?
[00:17] ---
    If we go near him, we might get punched.
[00:19] ---
    He's here again!
[00:20] ---
    He's scary!
[00:24] ---
    "Hasegawa Kodaka"
[00:28] ---
    My same old life of being
    treated like a Yankee.
[00:32] ---
    The same old after-school hours.
[00:34] ---
    "Common Room 4"
[00:34] ---
    And our same old Neighbors Club...
[00:40] ---
    Yo.
[00:44] ---
    "Kashiwazaki Sena"
[00:50] ---
    Sorry, wrong room.
[00:53] ---
    Hold it, Kodaka!
[00:55] ---
    What do you think?
[00:57] ---
    It looks great on you.
[00:59] ---
    Th-Thanks.
[01:00] ---
    No, no, I'm asking you whether it's funny!
[01:03] ---
    Funny?
[01:04] ---
    Right. We were talking yesterday
    about how we could make friends
[01:08] ---
    by polishing up our comedic skills, remember?
[01:10] ---
    Yeah... So you did this?
[01:12] ---
    Yep! The sign in the toy store said
    "Guaranteed to be a hit with everyone!"
[01:19] ---
    Look, don't take stuff like that seriously...
[01:21] ---
    I couldn't agree more!
[01:23] ---
    As I suspected, a high-level art
    such as comedy was beyond Meat here.
[01:27] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora"
[01:29] ---
    What's with that getup?!
[01:31] ---
    Today I'm cosplaying the most
    laughable creature in existence.
[01:35] ---
    What do you think, Kodaka? Funny, right?
[01:39] ---
    Okay then, how about this?
[01:42] ---
    "Meat"
[01:44] ---
    Is that actually...?
[01:46] ---
    I'm, like, so rich and pretty!
[01:50] ---
    Hey, I don't talk like that!
[01:52] ---
    I don't talk like that! I'm, like,
    just rich and pretty and that's all!
[01:58] ---
    What exactly makes me a laughable creature?!
[02:00] ---
    And anyway, that's not
    funny, it's just annoying!
[02:03] ---
    Oh? But seeing you ranting and crying
    is always such a good time for me.
[02:08] ---
    You're an awful person!
[02:10] ---
    Anyway, Yozora, aren't you embarrassed
    to be looking like that?
[02:20] ---
    Listen up, you two.
[02:22] ---
    True comedy is about more than
    just one-off gags like that!
[02:25] ---
    You don't get to be
    condescending--you're just Kodaka.
[02:28] ---
    Let's see this "true comedy"
    you speak of, then.
[02:32] ---
    Very well. True comedy... is about talking!
[02:36] ---
    "Talking"?
[02:37] ---
    Oh yeah, I'll give you a
    taste of my hilarious talk!
[02:40] ---
    The title is "Manju Buns Are Scary."
[02:45] ---
    And then Man A says, "Right now
    I'm scared of some hot coffee!"
[02:51] ---
    Huh?
[02:52] ---
    Lame.
[03:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:09] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[03:12] ---
    Be My Side
[03:13] ---
    But I saw right through you
[03:15] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[03:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[03:27] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[03:28] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[03:33] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[03:41] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[03:48] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[03:55] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:56] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[03:58] ---
    Be My Side
[03:59] ---
    But I saw right through you
[04:01] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[04:06] ---
    So I can take your hand
[04:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[04:09] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[04:11] ---
    Be My Side
[04:12] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[04:15] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[04:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[04:26] ---
    "My Teen Years SNAFU"
[04:28] ---
    Comedy, eh?
[04:30] ---
    Yes, one does tend to think
    of funny people as popular.
[04:30] ---
    "Shiguma Rika"
[04:33] ---
    Have some tea, Aniki.
[04:36] ---
    Sure.
[04:36] ---
    "Kusunoki Yukimura"
[04:37] ---
    I wish I could have heard
    your funny story too.
[04:40] ---
    You're better off this way.
[04:42] ---
    Yeah, it was terrible.
[04:45] ---
    A-At least I didn't try to get a few
    easy laughs with my hairstyle like you!
[04:49] ---
    Can it, you!
[04:51] ---
    Speaking of hairstyles, I recently got
    some very interesting information.
[04:55] ---
    What do you mean?
[04:56] ---
    According to a magazine I read,
[04:58] ---
    something called a "pouf" is
    popular around town right now
[05:00] ---
    among people with actual lives.
[05:02] ---
    "Pouf"?
[05:03] ---
    You literally poof up your
    hair to give it volume,
[05:05] ---
    and when you've got it really big,
    you put various decorations in it.
[05:09] ---
    Huh, that might be kind of fun.
[05:12] ---
    Rika's seen pictures on the internet!
[05:15] ---
    They almost reminded me of
    medieval European nobility...
[05:18] ---
    Nobility? Hey, that's perfect for me!
[05:21] ---
    In the really extreme ones,
[05:23] ---
    people twist their hair into a
    birdcage and put in a real bird,
[05:26] ---
    or use big accessories that
    spell out the word "love"!
[05:29] ---
    What's that supposed to be,
    a Warring States general?
[05:32] ---
    Since they emphasize individuality
    over functionality,
[05:35] ---
    the overall concept may be the same as
    the one behind Warring States helmets.
[05:38] ---
    Then this "pouf," like the helmets
    of Warring States generals,
[05:42] ---
    is meant to serve as proof of identity
    for those beheaded in battle,
[05:46] ---
    so that their heads will receive
    the respect appropriate to their--
[05:51] ---
    Wrong, Yukimura.
[05:53] ---
    That's a shame.
[05:55] ---
    I don't totally get it, but
    it does seem kind of similar.
[05:58] ---
    Quite. It would take an exceptional
    person to pull off the pouf.
[06:04] ---
    I suppose a commoner would be
    reckless to even attempt it.
[06:07] ---
    Sorry to bore you with talk of
    something so irrelevant to your life.
[06:11] ---
    The safest bet for a commoner would be to
    get an ordinary hairdo at an ordinary salon.
[06:18] ---
    Still, I do hope to see a
    pouf in real life one day!
[06:22] ---
    True, it would be difficult.
[06:25] ---
    There just aren't many people out there
[06:27] ---
    with the naturally aristocratic
    and gorgeous aura needed
[06:30] ---
    to carry off the intense
    self-assertiveness of the pouf style.
[06:33] ---
    True... What a shame.
[06:35] ---
    Talk about an obvious ploy.
[06:37] ---
    But there is one, right here!
[06:39] ---
    And it worked!
[06:40] ---
    An aristocrat overflowing
    with that very aura!
[06:42] ---
    There isn't a woman alive better
    suited to the pouf than me!
[06:46] ---
    Don't strain yourself, Meat.
[06:48] ---
    She's right, Sena-sempai!
[06:50] ---
    The pouf is an extremely tricky hairstyle!
[06:53] ---
    It's not a strain!
[06:54] ---
    The aura of divinity I project from within
    is enough to carry off any hairstyle!
[07:00] ---
    She's such an easy mark...
[07:03] ---
    I see. If you're that set on it, I'll
    poof up your hair for you right now.
[07:07] ---
    Rika has all sorts of tools in
    her lab! Rika will go get them!
[07:11] ---
    Er...
[07:16] ---
    All right, are you ready?
[07:19] ---
    Don't do anything too crazy.
[07:21] ---
    Don't move, Meat.
[07:23] ---
    Now, here we go!
[07:28] ---
    It's pretty nice having
    another girl brush your hair.
[07:32] ---
    Wow, Sena-sempai's hair is so smooth!
[07:36] ---
    And no split ends at all...
[07:38] ---
    I'll give you credit for
    good hair, if nothing else.
[07:40] ---
    Really?
[07:41] ---
    But Yozora-sempai, your hair is
    very pretty too. Rika's jealous!
[07:45] ---
    Sure, I'll give Yozora credit
    for good hair, if nothing else.
[07:48] ---
    But Rika, yours is glossy and pretty too!
[07:51] ---
    I told you not to move!
[07:52] ---
    Is it really?
[07:54] ---
    Yes, it is.
[07:54] ---
    Here, a refill.
[07:56] ---
    Right.
[07:57] ---
    Thank you very much!
[07:58] ---
    All right, it's poofing
    time. Any requests, Meat?
[08:01] ---
    Make me look like someone
    with a real life, please.
[08:05] ---
    A "has a life" theme...
[08:08] ---
    Real social lives make me think... summer?
[08:10] ---
    Oh, nice! Then to give it a "girl with
    real life enjoying summer" feel...
[08:15] ---
    We'll wave the sides to evoke the
    image of rolling ocean waves!
[08:19] ---
    I like it! Now let's try putting in
    ringlets to represent the swirling tides!
[08:25] ---
    And this part will be a summer
    storm, so kind of flashy curls...
[08:28] ---
    What do you think, Sena-sempai?!
[08:30] ---
    Um, yeah, I think it works.
[08:32] ---
    Now for the top. Since
    the sides are the ocean,
[08:35] ---
    the top should be a sandcastle on the beach!
[08:37] ---
    How about using a bikini instead of ribbons?
[08:40] ---
    Ah, yes, a watermelon and some fireworks
    would complete that picture...
[08:43] ---
    Bikini?
[08:45] ---
    Watermelon?!
[08:47] ---
    And why not yakisoba while we're at it?
[08:49] ---
    You're a genius!
[08:50] ---
    Y-Yakisoba?!
[08:51] ---
    Don't move!
[08:52] ---
    I shall go purchase a swimsuit, a
    watermelon, fireworks, and yakisoba.
[08:56] ---
    Thanks!
[08:59] ---
    Kodaka!
[09:01] ---
    Sorry. There's nothing I can do.
[09:04] ---
    Poke, poke, poke, poke!
[09:06] ---
    Fly! Go on, fly!
[09:06] ---
    "Takayama Maria"
[09:10] ---
    Um...
[09:12] ---
    Ack! I'm doing it! I'm doing it, just
    like I'm supposed to, I promise!
[09:18] ---
    Oh, Yukimura.
[09:20] ---
    What are you doing, Sister Maria?
[09:23] ---
    The old hag is making me do forced
    labor as punishment for slacking off.
[09:23] ---
    "I did something naughty. I'm very sorry."
[09:27] ---
    So, what are you doing?
[09:30] ---
    You see, Sena-anego blah
    blah so on and so forth...
[09:34] ---
    Oh, so you want something summery!
[09:37] ---
    In that case, take these!
[09:46] ---
    All done!
[09:48] ---
    I call it the "Ultimate-Satisfying-Social-Life-
    Meets-Midsummer-Night's-Dream Mega Max Pouf"!
[10:00] ---
    You look super-cute, Sena-sempai!
[10:03] ---
    That's just not right...
[10:05] ---
    It really is cute.
[10:07] ---
    Your head would make a
    magnificent war trophy.
[10:10] ---
    R-Really? It looks that good on me?
[10:12] ---
    Seriously, it looks super-good!
[10:14] ---
    It's not simply gaudy.
[10:16] ---
    It evokes the poignantly
    ephemeral nature of our world.
[10:18] ---
    I'm jealous. Now I wish I'd tried
    a pouf before I cut my hair!
[10:24] ---
    Yeah, this might be a real winner!
[10:26] ---
    Have you lost your minds?
[10:28] ---
    Well? What do you think, Kodaka?
[10:31] ---
    It... It really expresses
    the group aesthetic.
[10:35] ---
    Doesn't it just? Okay, I'm going home now!
[10:39] ---
    Will she be okay?
[10:46] ---
    Oh, Kodaka!
[10:49] ---
    Hi, Sena.
[10:50] ---
    Daddy was so mad at me when I got
    home yesterday! Can you believe it?
[10:57] ---
    He gave me lots spankings, and he
    made me put my hair back to normal!
[11:01] ---
    It's awful!
[11:03] ---
    O-Oh, I see...
[11:05] ---
    Good job, Pegasus-san.
[11:09] ---
    Rika got carried away
    by excitement yesterday,
[11:12] ---
    but now that she's calmed down,
    she realizes that was wrong.
[11:15] ---
    I went a little too far.
[11:17] ---
    We're sorry, Meat.
[11:19] ---
    At least let this end as
    a funny story! Dummies!
[11:26] ---
    And so the club meeting ended
    in disappointment once again.
[11:42] ---
    "Today" "Why aren't you here?"
[11:44] ---
    "Studying for a test"
[11:51] ---
    "Unimportant! Come to the club room"
[11:54] ---
    "It's important! Is something
    up in the club room?"
[12:01] ---
    "Only Yukimura is here! (><)"
[12:08] ---
    Guess I'd better go.
[12:10] ---
    "Kobato-chan just came (°^^°)
    Don't need you, Kodaka! (^^)"
[12:13] ---
    I see how it is.
[12:17] ---
    Hello?
[12:18] ---
    Bro!
[12:19] ---
    Help me!
[12:20] ---
    Kobato-chan, wait!
[12:23] ---
    No! Help me!
[12:25] ---
    Sheesh, what are they doing?
[12:29] ---
    I heard a scream come through the phone!
[12:30] ---
    Think someone was kidnapped?
[12:34] ---
    That's not it...
[12:38] ---
    "Hasegawa Kobato"
[12:52] ---
    "Come to think of it" "Kodaka,
    are you in bad shape for finals?"
[12:55] ---
    "Dunno"
[13:01] ---
    "Come to my house tomorrow,
    then. We'll study together."
[13:05] ---
    I heard Sena's got the
    top GPA in our grade...
[13:14] ---
    Kobato, I'm gonna study at Sena's
    place for a while this afternoon.
[13:18] ---
    Okay.
[13:19] ---
    Want to come along?
[13:25] ---
    What's wrong?
[13:28] ---
    My other half, I bid you take care.
[13:32] ---
    In other words, you're not going.
[13:35] ---
    She's... so scary...
[13:37] ---
    Yeah.
[13:39] ---
    She really hates you, Sena...
[13:53] ---
    "Private Property"
[13:55] ---
    Welcome, Kodaka-kun.
[14:08] ---
    Kodaka, you're here!
[14:10] ---
    All right, study hard for finals.
[14:13] ---
    Oh, Daddy, are you done with Kodaka already?
[14:16] ---
    Yes.
[14:17] ---
    What was that about?
[14:20] ---
    Daddy's always asking me how
    you're doing, so I thought
[14:24] ---
    maybe he had something he
    needed to talk to you about...
[14:26] ---
    I... I-I am not constantly asking!
[14:33] ---
    Hayato asked me to look after
    you, so of course I'm concerned.
[14:37] ---
    I don't really understand that guy...
[14:40] ---
    Okay, Kodaka, let's study in my room!
[14:47] ---
    Here it is. Come on in.
[14:49] ---
    Uh, right...
[14:52] ---
    Hurry up!
[14:58] ---
    Th-This is...
[15:05] ---
    They're great pictures, right?
[15:06] ---
    That jerk hardly ever lets her
    guard down, so it was hard work!
[15:10] ---
    Did you take these photos?
[15:12] ---
    Yep, I got them on the sly
    with my digital camera!
[15:15] ---
    That's sneak photography!
[15:17] ---
    Scary! This girl is scary!
[15:19] ---
    Wh-Why did you do that?
[15:22] ---
    Here, look at this!
[15:25] ---
    Don't tell me this is the same one...?
[15:27] ---
    Mm-hmm! I bought it off Yozora.
[15:30] ---
    What?!
[15:31] ---
    You know the phrase "perseverance
    for vengeance," right?
[15:33] ---
    Yeah, isn't that from the ancient story
    about the guy who nursed his grudge
[15:37] ---
    by sleeping on a pile of firewood every
    night and eating bitter liver meat
[15:41] ---
    until he finally got revenge
    on his father's killer?
[15:43] ---
    There you have it.
[15:46] ---
    By staring at Yozora's stupid
    face every night at bedtime
[15:49] ---
    while inhaling the scent of the wig she wore,
[15:52] ---
    I remember the humiliation
    she's put me through
[15:54] ---
    and psych myself up about
    someday making her pay!
[15:59] ---
    One day I'm gonna make that
    jerk beg me for mercy!
[16:02] ---
    Kashiwazaki Sena... A fearsome
    woman in more ways than one.
[16:11] ---
    Say...
[16:15] ---
    What?
[16:16] ---
    Oh, um, it's about this problem...
[16:18] ---
    I already solved that one for you.
[16:21] ---
    Um, my issue is that I
    don't know how to solve it,
[16:23] ---
    not just that I need the answer...
[16:26] ---
    What? Why can't you get something so easy?
[16:29] ---
    Are you stupid?
[16:32] ---
    Fine! I'll do the rest myself!
[16:35] ---
    Be quick about it, okay?
[16:36] ---
    Jeez, how can someone be
    so not geared for teaching?
[16:41] ---
    Pardon me.
[16:43] ---
    I've brought you some refreshments.
[16:46] ---
    It's been a while, Kodaka-sama.
[16:48] ---
    How are matters progressing?
[16:50] ---
    Oh, not too badly.
[16:52] ---
    I see. Please use this, if you'd like.
[16:58] ---
    Huh?!
[16:59] ---
    Please enjoy yourselves.
[17:02] ---
    Kodaka, what did Stella give you?
[17:06] ---
    I-It's nothing!
[17:07] ---
    Stella*-san* is way too mysterious for me!
[17:10] ---
    Show it to me!
[17:12] ---
    Stop! Stop it!
[17:14] ---
    Show it to me!
[17:18] ---
    What are you looking at?!
[17:19] ---
    I-I wasn't looking at anything!
[17:26] ---
    Ugh, I'm sick of studying.
    Want to play a game?
[17:29] ---
    A game? Sheesh...
[17:31] ---
    Well, I guess it's okay as long
    as it's just a little breather.
[17:35] ---
    Okay! Let's do this one, then.
[17:37] ---
    Oh, I've played that one with Kobato.
[17:44] ---
    "Fullmetal Necromancer"
[17:44] ---
    So you own it, too?
[17:46] ---
    I just recently bought it.
    Kobato-chan loves the anime, right?
[17:51] ---
    Uh-huh...
[17:52] ---
    I got all the Blu-rays a while back, too.
[17:54] ---
    I haven't watched them yet, but
    next time Kobato-chan comes over...
[17:59] ---
    Thank goodness I didn't bring Kobato with me.
[18:03] ---
    Shatter the very soul of my
    enemy! Nine Lives Breaker!
[18:22] ---
    That makes a ten-win streak for me!
[18:22] ---
    Hmph! Amateur.
[18:24] ---
    Man, and you were a total
    n00b in the beginning, too...
[18:29] ---
    I'm a genius at everything, you see.
[18:32] ---
    I wish I could deny that, but I can't.
[18:34] ---
    Whoa, it's evening already!
[18:36] ---
    And we didn't get any studying
    for finals done at all...
[18:40] ---
    Ugh, I'm going home.
[18:43] ---
    Pardon me.
[18:46] ---
    Sena-sama, Kodaka-sama, dinner is ready.
[18:50] ---
    You heard her. Have some
    food before you go, Kodaka.
[18:53] ---
    Oh... okay...
[18:59] ---
    Thank you for the meal.
[19:01] ---
    Well, I'd better be getting home.
[19:03] ---
    Kodaka*-kun.*
[19:04] ---
    Yes?
[19:04] ---
    Stay here for the night.
[19:06] ---
    No, I--
[19:07] ---
    Stay the night.
[19:10] ---
    Yes, Sir...
[19:17] ---
    "Can't come home tonight" "Eat
    some cup noodles or whatever."
[19:25] ---
    ♪ Ah, beneath that long-ago sky! ♪
[19:35] ---
    I always seem to get thrown off
    balance when I visit this house...
[19:43] ---
    President?!
[19:45] ---
    I'll wash your back.
[19:46] ---
    Th-Thank you, but that's quite all right!
[19:49] ---
    You're as circumspect as usual, I see.
[19:51] ---
    Hayato would be tossing the
    soap at me without a care.
[19:56] ---
    But there's no need for such concern.
[19:57] ---
    It really concerns me!
[20:05] ---
    How's that?
[20:06] ---
    I-I think that's good, Sir.
[20:09] ---
    This reminds me of the first time
    Hayato ever took me to a bathhouse.
[20:15] ---
    By the way, Kodaka-kun...
[20:17] ---
    Yes?
[20:18] ---
    Is my daughter being bullied
    at school, by any chance?
[20:23] ---
    Hmm? No, I don't think so...
[20:26] ---
    Oh...
[20:27] ---
    You see, the other day
[20:29] ---
    Sena came home with fried squid
    and yakisoba on her head...
[20:34] ---
    It may be hard to believe, but it's true.
[20:37] ---
    I... I had no idea...
[20:39] ---
    At the time she told me "This is a
    high-class hairstyle worthy of my greatness,"
[20:45] ---
    so I scolded her harshly,
[20:47] ---
    but now that I've calmed down, I can't
    imagine such a foolish style exists.
[20:52] ---
    She's a very proud young woman.
[20:54] ---
    I worried that she might have
    said those absurd things
[20:57] ---
    to hide the fact that she'd been bullied.
[21:00] ---
    I-I see...
[21:02] ---
    Um, Mr. President?
[21:05] ---
    Have you been inside Sena's bedroom recently?
[21:08] ---
    No, ever since she entered high school
[21:10] ---
    she hasn't liked me to go into her room.
[21:14] ---
    It's only natural for a
    girl that age, really.
[21:17] ---
    Mr. President, your daughter's actually
    turned into a creepy stalker!
[21:23] ---
    No, I can't say that...
[21:26] ---
    Well, I don't think she's
    being bullied, Sir. Probably.
[21:32] ---
    I hope you're right...
[21:38] ---
    I swear that if Sena were
    ever to get bullied,
[21:40] ---
    I would protect her!
[21:42] ---
    So please, rest easy.
[21:45] ---
    You would? Yes, you would!
[21:47] ---
    Then she's in your care, Kodaka-kun!
[21:49] ---
    I know she'll be in good hands with you!
[21:51] ---
    Yes, Sir!
[21:52] ---
    "In your care"? That seems
    kind of overblown...
[21:56] ---
    Oh well, whatever.
[21:59] ---
    At this point, I had yet to realize
    that I was getting steadily mired
[22:03] ---
    in a situation beyond all salvaging.
[22:07] ---
    One day, Yozora! Just you wait!
[22:40] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:50] ---
    The anime's second season has begun at last!
[23:53] ---
    In Season 2, now that I've cut my hair
    and I'm not playing around anymore,
[23:57] ---
    clearly I'll do remarkable things
    worthy of the main heroine,
[23:59] ---
    be lauded as trusted leader of my
    troublesome Neighbors Club members,
[24:03] ---
    become someone with a decent real
    life, grow even closer to Kodaka,
[24:06] ---
    and have a rosy future!
[24:08] ---
    I'm looking forward to it!
[24:10] ---
    "Homo Game Club"
[24:10] ---
    Next time: "Homo Game Club."
[24:12] ---
    I'm looking forward to it...
[24:14] ---
    

Season 2

15 - Homo Game Club

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    Yo.
[00:18] ---
    Ah, hello, Kodaka-sempai.
[00:21] ---
    Oh, it's just Rika.
[00:23] ---
    That's the line you chose to open with?
[00:25] ---
    Seriously, Rika, what
    happened to your glasses?
[00:28] ---
    Rika thought it might be
    nice to go no-glasses.
[00:31] ---
    To try a new look, as they say.
[00:33] ---
    You switched to contacts?
[00:34] ---
    Oh, Rika's glasses were only for show!
[00:37] ---
    Rika's vision is fine.
[00:39] ---
    Why would you wear glasses for show?
[00:41] ---
    For fashion's sake, of course!
[00:44] ---
    I can't believe the word "fashion"
    just came out of your mouth...
[00:46] ---
    "Character design," then?
[00:48] ---
    Oh! Okay, that makes sense.
[00:50] ---
    Rika's not sure she appreciates
    how easily you accepted that...
[00:54] ---
    So, what do you think
    of the new Rika, Sempai?
[01:01] ---
    In descriptive terms, she's pretty
    like a blooming wildflower...
[01:06] ---
    As for whether she's my
    type, I'd have to say...
[01:09] ---
    Hell yeah.
[01:12] ---
    Y-Y-You can't just burst
    out with that, Sempai!
[01:15] ---
    Wait, did I say that out loud?!
[01:17] ---
    Loud and clear!
[01:21] ---
    What was that for?!
[01:22] ---
    Nothing.
[01:23] ---
    I wish you'd drop dead.
[01:24] ---
    Aniki...
[01:26] ---
    What's wrong with you guys?!
[01:29] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[01:46] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:47] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:50] ---
    Be My Side
[01:51] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:53] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:57] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[02:05] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:06] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[02:11] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[02:19] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[02:26] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[02:33] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:34] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:36] ---
    Be My Side
[02:37] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:39] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:44] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[02:46] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:47] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[02:49] ---
    Be My Side
[02:50] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[02:53] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[02:57] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[03:04] ---
    "Homo Game Club"
[03:07] ---
    I had no idea Kodaka-sempai felt such
    a strong sexual attraction to Rika!
[03:12] ---
    Okay, let's do the dirty! Right now!
[03:15] ---
    Idiot!
[03:15] ---
    Oops, Rika was a little too vulgar.
[03:18] ---
    This is the time for classy language.
[03:22] ---
    Will you kindly do the dirty with me, Sempai?
[03:25] ---
    How was that "classy"?
[03:27] ---
    Why do you have to be Rika, anyway...?
[03:30] ---
    Is it that painful to find Rika hot?
[03:33] ---
    You're making Rika want to cry now.
[03:35] ---
    Okay, guess I'll study now.
[03:37] ---
    He doesn't even try to patch up
    the wound he gave Rika's heart!
[03:40] ---
    It's too brutal! But that actually
    makes him more... Oh, how painful!
[03:45] ---
    But Rika's hot and bothered!
[03:49] ---
    Fine, never mind.
[03:51] ---
    Rika will escape into the 2D world
    to soothe her bruised heart.
[03:55] ---
    Sena-sempai? May Rika please borrow the TV?
[03:59] ---
    Sure. Going to play a game?
[04:01] ---
    I'm going to watch an anime.
[04:02] ---
    I got this from Amazoness yesterday.
[04:04] ---
    It's the movie version of Homo Game Club--
[04:06] ---
    How dare you suggest playing such a
    disgraceful thing in our club room?
[04:09] ---
    It's not disgraceful at all!
[04:12] ---
    True, it is based on a boys' love game
    rated for adults ages 18 and up only,
[04:17] ---
    but the TV anime cut all
    the explicit graphics,
[04:19] ---
    and it was reborn as a work children
    of any age can safely enjoy!
[04:23] ---
    The movie has somewhat upped
    the number of sexy shots,
[04:26] ---
    but the fact remains that it's
    geared toward the general market!
[04:30] ---
    So what? Who cares about stuff like that?!
[04:32] ---
    Rika cares! Here, look closely.
[04:36] ---
    Don't bring that thing near me.
[04:37] ---
    There's no 18+ rating on it, right?
[04:37] ---
    "Homo Game Club The Movie"
[04:40] ---
    Whether it's 18+ or not,
    there's no way an anime
[04:44] ---
    with that sketchy title and sketchy
    packaging is anything decent!
[04:46] ---
    Rika doesn't think it's good to judge a book
    by its cover without even looking inside.
[04:54] ---
    I agree. You shouldn't judge
    things by appearances.
[04:57] ---
    Kodaka-sempai!
[04:59] ---
    You should take a look at what's
    inside before you reject them.
[05:03] ---
    It hurts to be rejected just
    for how you look, you know.
[05:09] ---
    I-If that's how you feel, Kodaka...
[05:11] ---
    Leave it to you, Kodaka-sempai!
[05:14] ---
    Okay, you should watch Homo Game
    Club with us, Yozora-sempai!
[05:17] ---
    This movie is a reconstruction of
    the TV series with new scenes added,
[05:22] ---
    so I think you'll be okay
    without any background!
[05:26] ---
    "Homo Game Club The Movie
    This Is Our True Fortune"
[05:32] ---
    "Boys' Bathroom"
[05:40] ---
    "Ecstasy"
[05:43] ---
    Want to give it a go?
[05:44] ---
    I-I'm not interested in homoge!
[05:49] ---
    A fan-made game, huh? Sounds interesting.
[05:52] ---
    Will you do it for me, Fumio?
[05:55] ---
    Leave it to me, Koyomi!
[06:01] ---
    I can't believe it... Not even
    one person bought our game!
[06:07] ---
    You idiot!
[06:11] ---
    You know there's something
    more important than sales!
[06:19] ---
    I'll do away with the Homo
    Game Club once and for all!
[06:24] ---
    I'll never let you do that!
[06:28] ---
    You're blocking the screen.
[06:30] ---
    I swear I'll protect you, even if I
    have to go against the whole world.
[06:39] ---
    That's my line.
[06:42] ---
    Let's fight together for
    what's important to us!
[06:47] ---
    What do you think, Yozora-sempai?
[06:50] ---
    I-It's okay, I guess.
[06:52] ---
    I see, so that's what happened to you...
[06:55] ---
    Thank you for sharing that with me, Koyomi.
[06:58] ---
    Fumio...
[07:04] ---
    Huh?
[07:05] ---
    Huh?!
[07:08] ---
    "The End"
[07:12] ---
    Two hours simply flew by.
[07:14] ---
    Thank you for showing us this great movie.
[07:17] ---
    Rika...
[07:18] ---
    Yes?
[07:19] ---
    Why did Fumio and Koyomi, um... k-kiss?
[07:24] ---
    "Why"? Of course people kiss when
    their emotions are running high!
[07:29] ---
    B-But, those two are
    friends... friends do that?
[07:35] ---
    Yes, they do. It's the human impulse.
[07:38] ---
    Still, for friends to do one
    so... steamy... Isn't that weird?
[07:43] ---
    Not one bit!
[07:45] ---
    When two people's hearts
    are strongly connected,
[07:47] ---
    to desire a joining of the
    flesh is the natural next step!
[07:51] ---
    Though they may be friends,
    though they may be two men,
[07:54] ---
    they lock lips and spread
    legs with the one they love!
[07:57] ---
    It is a law of nature!
[08:00] ---
    Don't say "though they may
    be two men" so lightly.
[08:04] ---
    I see... So even friends kiss each other.
[08:12] ---
    H-Hmph!
[08:14] ---
    I admit, I shouldn't have
    judged by appearances.
[08:17] ---
    And Rika may take that to mean you've
    awakened as a fellow yaoi fangirl?!
[08:21] ---
    N-No, I haven't!
[08:24] ---
    I'm just saying *Homo Game Club
    *was pretty good. That's all.
[08:28] ---
    Rika is so glad you enjoyed it!
[08:30] ---
    If there are any other
    good ones, bring them in.
[08:33] ---
    Yes!
[08:34] ---
    At last, Rika's longed-for comrade!
[08:37] ---
    Yet if Rika makes a wrong choice
    now, it will come to nothing.
[08:40] ---
    Be calm, Shiguma Rika!
[08:42] ---
    *My Baby Maker Can't Be This Cute
    *is a macho-homo masterpiece,
[08:46] ---
    but there are only 18+ versions,
    which is an obstacle.
[08:48] ---
    And *Nyaro-san: Another Nestling Chaos
    *would dive straight into tentacle fare...
[08:50] ---
    Hey, hey, Yozora!
[08:52] ---
    What, Meat?
[08:53] ---
    You know "what"! You always badmouth
    my gal games and call them creepy,
[08:58] ---
    so how come Rika's gay anime is okay?!
[08:58] ---
    "Homo Game Club"
[09:01] ---
    Don't compare this work depicting
    noble friendship between two boys,
[09:04] ---
    a theme appropriate to the
    goals of the Neighbors Club,
[09:07] ---
    to games where you do lewd things
    with other girls, stupid Meat!
[09:11] ---
    I won't let you get away with
    making fun of gal games!
[09:13] ---
    Try reading the scene you're doing
    in this game out loud, then.
[09:19] ---
    From your face, it must be
    another one so disgraceful
[09:22] ---
    you can't even bear to say it.
[09:23] ---
    Th-This particular scene just
    happens to be one of those...
[09:28] ---
    Just so you know, I could read any
    scene from Homo Game Club out loud.
[09:33] ---
    Because Homo Game Club is a noble work!
[09:37] ---
    All right, try it, then!
[09:43] ---
    Oh, this scene. I remember it.
[09:46] ---
    I swear I'll protect you, even if I
    have to go against the whole world.
[09:55] ---
    That's my line.
[09:57] ---
    Let's fight together for
    what's important to us!
[10:01] ---
    Why did it happen to land
    on cool-sounding lines?!
[10:04] ---
    We're doing a different scene.
[10:08] ---
    No matter what stands in my way,
[10:11] ---
    it can never stop me from walking my path!
[10:14] ---
    Gah, that's it! Why are there so many
    gratuitously cool lines?! Idiot!
[10:18] ---
    Because it's all the most famous
    scenes from the TV show!
[10:23] ---
    If you can't say you like what you like,
[10:26] ---
    don't you think it might be the
    world, and not you, that's wrong?
[10:30] ---
    Noooo! Another cool one!
[10:32] ---
    Big talk for some sloppy muscleman!
[10:34] ---
    Don't underestimate Misao.
[10:35] ---
    I'm amazed she remembers every word...
[10:38] ---
    Now, I believe I've done enough.
[10:42] ---
    Meat.
[10:43] ---
    How about you take a turn now?
[10:48] ---
    What's wrong, Meat?
[10:49] ---
    If there's nothing to be
    ashamed of in your game,
[10:53] ---
    read the dialogue in this
    scene to us loud and clear!
[10:58] ---
    Go on.
[11:01] ---
    Go on.
[11:03] ---
    Go on!
[11:07] ---
    Gah!
[11:09] ---
    Fine! I will, then!
[11:12] ---
    It's like what they just
    said in that anime, anyway!
[11:15] ---
    If you can't say you like what you
    like, it's the world that's wrong!
[11:19] ---
    To defend the honor of "One Day I Suddenly
    Got a Blond Little Sister with Pigtails
[11:23] ---
    and I Can't Take It Anymore,"
[11:26] ---
    I, too, shall battle the world!
[11:28] ---
    What's with that title?
[11:30] ---
    I-I'm reading...
[11:33] ---
    "B-Big Brother, thrust your
    big, th-thick th... th..."
[11:40] ---
    What?
[11:42] ---
    "Big Brother, thrust your...
    b-b-big, thick th..."
[11:47] ---
    Read it louder, and
    clearer, and with feeling!
[11:57] ---
    Big Brother, thrust your big, thick [bleep] deep
    in my [bleep] and [bleep] your [bleep] milk inside me!
[12:14] ---
    Sh-She actually said it...
[12:18] ---
    I won't let you always win, you know.
[12:21] ---
    I didn't think the line would be so--that...
[12:24] ---
    Well? I said it.
[12:26] ---
    Now do you understand that this
    game is in no way embarrassing?
[12:31] ---
    Ah, y-yes. We'll say I lost this round.
[12:34] ---
    L-Look in my direction and say that!
[12:36] ---
    Even Rika might not be able to say that one.
[12:41] ---
    I am humbly impressed. I did not
    know you were such a deviant.
[12:46] ---
    Well, um, I definitely understand
    that you treasure that game.
[12:52] ---
    I'm sorry for making fun of it.
[13:02] ---
    Yozora, you're a perverted homoge maniac!
[13:13] ---
    Final exams are over at last.
[13:26] ---
    Hey, you troubled lamb over there!
[13:31] ---
    Come on, don't ignore me, Lamb!
[13:35] ---
    Turning your back on a servant of God like me
[13:39] ---
    means you're a sinner who's
    turned away from God!
[13:41] ---
    Er, I guess there's no
    chance you don't mean me?
[13:44] ---
    Natch! Or "naturally," I should say!
[13:50] ---
    Oopsy-daisy...
[13:52] ---
    "Oopsy-daisy"?
[13:53] ---
    Do you need something?
[13:55] ---
    Just figured I'd say, "If you've got
    any troubles, I'm here to listen."
[13:58] ---
    Since I'm a Sister.
[14:00] ---
    Well, I'm not completely trouble-free...
[14:03] ---
    I hear you! A lot can happen in life, right?
[14:06] ---
    I can get why you'd go astray like that!
[14:10] ---
    Er, if you're talking about
    my hair, it's natural.
[14:13] ---
    What? That's natural?!
[14:16] ---
    Huh, so that's natural...
[14:18] ---
    Well, a lot can happen in life!
[14:22] ---
    She just glossed it over!
[14:25] ---
    Sorry for stopping you. Anyway,
    if you do have any troubles,
[14:28] ---
    come over to the student counseling center.
[14:30] ---
    I'm Takayama Kate.
[14:32] ---
    Some kids call me "Kate-chan"
    or "Mother Kate."
[14:35] ---
    Takayama?
[14:36] ---
    Big Brother!
[14:39] ---
    Hey, it's Big Brother!
[14:42] ---
    I found Big Brother!
[14:46] ---
    Oh, Maria, is this person...?
[14:50] ---
    Wh-Wh-What are you doing here
    with Big Brother, you hag?!
[14:53] ---
    So you do know her.
[14:54] ---
    Ma-ri-a...
[14:58] ---
    Who do you think you're calling a hag?!
[15:00] ---
    That hurts, stop it! Die, poopy crappy hag!
[15:02] ---
    I'm not "hag," I'm "Big
    Sister," now aren't I?
[15:05] ---
    Shut up, poopy crappy hag!
[15:06] ---
    "Poopy crappy" is redundant,
    poopy crappy Maria!
[15:09] ---
    Ow!
[15:10] ---
    Die! Die, poopy hag! Poop--
[15:12] ---
    Come on, say it. "Big Sister."
[15:16] ---
    It hurts, it hurts! I'm sorry!
    I was wrong, Big Sis--hag.
[15:23] ---
    Still saying that, you filthy brat?!
[15:26] ---
    Please forgive me, Big Sister!
[15:31] ---
    So, are you Hasegawa Kodaka?
[15:34] ---
    Y-Yes.
[15:35] ---
    I see. My little sister talks
    about you all the time.
[15:39] ---
    Little sister?
[15:40] ---
    Yep. I'm Maria's big sister.
[15:43] ---
    But now I get it. So *you're
    *the famous Big Brother Kodaka.
[15:48] ---
    She's a moron, obviously, but take
    good care of her, okay Kodaka-kun?
[15:53] ---
    Hmph!
[15:54] ---
    Big Brother is Big Brother whether a
    hag asks him to be or not! You crap!
[16:01] ---
    Make sure you do your work!
[16:02] ---
    Don't wanna!
[16:04] ---
    That kid...
[16:09] ---
    Sheesh, why'd she turn out
    so dumb, anyway? You know?
[16:14] ---
    Still, I am grateful to you... all of you.
[16:19] ---
    "All of you"?
[16:20] ---
    It's the "Neighbors Club," right?
[16:23] ---
    Maria's been in better spirits
    since she became your advisor.
[16:26] ---
    Really? It seemed to me like
    she was always high-spirited.
[16:29] ---
    Actually, no.
[16:31] ---
    That idiot's never been able to
    do anything but get good grades,
[16:35] ---
    so she gets conceited and
    looks down on other people.
[16:38] ---
    And she's only gotten vainer since
    she skipped all those grades...
[16:42] ---
    So having you and your little sister...
    can I call her "Poopy Vampire"?
[16:49] ---
    And Mikazuki Yozora. I'm
    especially grateful to her.
[16:53] ---
    To Yozora?
[16:55] ---
    We never knew how to interact
    with Maria, so we were at a loss.
[17:00] ---
    But Mikazuki-san ignored her protests
    and dragged her out into the world.
[17:05] ---
    That's what Maria needed most then.
[17:09] ---
    I guess she was the first stranger Maria met
[17:12] ---
    that she couldn't play
    the "I'm smart" card on.
[17:15] ---
    Oh...
[17:17] ---
    Gratitude to Yozora--I
    didn't see that coming.
[17:20] ---
    I'm not a fan of letting kids
    run around naked, though.
[17:25] ---
    I-I'm sorry! I'll talk to her.
[17:28] ---
    Anyway, keep up the good work
    with her... Big Brother.
[17:33] ---
    Yes, Ma'am--wait, "Big Brother"?
[17:35] ---
    If you're Maria's big brother,
    then you're mine too, aren't you?
[17:39] ---
    I mean, I'm fifteen.
[17:42] ---
    Okay, bye-bye, Big Brother!
[17:48] ---
    Whoops, I farted.
[17:56] ---
    Kodaka.
[17:58] ---
    I thought you'd be in the club room by now.
[18:00] ---
    No, I ran into somebody kinda strange...
[18:03] ---
    Somebody strange?
[18:06] ---
    By the way, Kodaka...
[18:08] ---
    Finals are over now...
[18:10] ---
    Yeah.
[18:11] ---
    Rumor has it that people with friends
[18:14] ---
    do something called "comparing
    their answers" after tests.
[18:17] ---
    Oh, yeah, I hear some
    regions have that custom.
[18:22] ---
    Y-Yes, it's a totally
    pointless custom, isn't it?
[18:30] ---
    But Kodaka, in the future
    when we make friends,
[18:34] ---
    we might be forced to do the "compare
    answers" thing between classes.
[18:38] ---
    True.
[18:39] ---
    So... w-we're going to prepare for that
    by practicing comparing test answers!
[18:45] ---
    O-Okay, got it.
[18:47] ---
    Right... We'll compare answers on
    Math II, Section 3, Question 4, then.
[18:52] ---
    Math II? But that was on the first day!
[18:55] ---
    I don't remember the questions or my answers.
[18:58] ---
    That's what I'm most worried about.
[19:01] ---
    What kind of question was it?
[19:02] ---
    It was a proof worth 15 points.
[19:05] ---
    Oh, that one! Mine got really long,
    but I'm not too confident about it...
[19:10] ---
    But isn't it kind of rough trying
    to compare proofs standing outside?
[19:15] ---
    You've got a point...
[19:16] ---
    Maybe the right move is to say "That
    one was hard" or "I think I got it"
[19:22] ---
    to just get the conversation flowing.
[19:25] ---
    Okay.
[19:27] ---
    That question was hard, huh!
[19:31] ---
    Yes, it was!
[19:36] ---
    Let's use a different question!
[19:38] ---
    Let's make it a multiple-choice
    or fill-in-the-blank one!
[19:41] ---
    Preferably one we did today.
[19:44] ---
    One from today that worries me...
[19:46] ---
    Problem 11 from Section
    2 of Japanese History.
[19:49] ---
    Hold on a sec.
[19:50] ---
    Let's see...
[19:53] ---
    "After Hojo Tokimune's death,
    powerful vassal Adachi Yasumori
[19:57] ---
    was overthrown by Inner Administrator
    blank number eleven."
[20:01] ---
    Definitely Taira Yoritsuna, I'm sure of it.
[20:04] ---
    Well, of course I know that.
[20:07] ---
    But I think I might have
    written the "tsuna" part
[20:11] ---
    with the kanji for "net" instead of "rope."
[20:13] ---
    What am I supposed to do about it?!
[20:15] ---
    I'm really worried... Which one
    is "net," and which one is "rope"?
[20:20] ---
    They are similar, but...
[20:22] ---
    "Taira Yoritsuna"
[20:24] ---
    Wait...
[20:25] ---
    Are you sure you didn't misspell it
    when you wrote the answer, Kodaka?
[20:30] ---
    Crap, now you've got me worried too!
[20:33] ---
    I wrote it right, didn't I?
[20:35] ---
    I'm not so sure.
[20:37] ---
    Now I'm worried about the parts
    I used to be confident about?!
[20:40] ---
    This "comparing answers" thing is fearsome!
[20:42] ---
    It really is.
[20:46] ---
    Okay, then, next one. Number 18 in Section 2.
[20:50] ---
    Hmm... "In Year 1 of the Shochu Era, blank
    number eighteen, Emperor Go-Daigo"...
[20:55] ---
    I just guessed on this--
[20:57] ---
    Year 1324!
[21:00] ---
    Oh, it's Sena.
[21:02] ---
    Whatcha doing? That
    "comparing answers" thing?
[21:04] ---
    Yep.
[21:04] ---
    Then I'll be nice and join you!
[21:07] ---
    You're pretty lucky, getting
    to hear my perfect answers!
[21:11] ---
    We don't need you. Scram.
[21:14] ---
    What's the problem? Let me do it too!
[21:17] ---
    Math II, Section 3, Question 5, then.
[21:20] ---
    Hmm... 4 times the square root of 5!
[21:23] ---
    How do they know the questions by number?
[21:26] ---
    Classical Japanese, Section
    2, Question 1 part 3!
[21:29] ---
    Sa-line irregular conjugation!
[21:31] ---
    What? Consonant-stem conjugation...?
[21:33] ---
    You got that one wrong, huh Yozora?
[21:35] ---
    Come on, come on, what's the next question?
[21:37] ---
    We're done. Comparing answers really
    is a waste of time, isn't it?
[21:42] ---
    It's not like it changes your test scores.
[21:45] ---
    Sour grapes?
[21:46] ---
    Wait, Yozora!
[21:48] ---
    Give me a question! A question!
[21:50] ---
    I don't care how hard it is!
[21:53] ---
    No. Comparing answers with you is no fun.
[21:56] ---
    But--Don't say that, it's what Yamamoto
    who sat next to me in eighth grade said!
[22:00] ---
    I'd rather compare answers
    with Tomo-chan than you.
[22:04] ---
    Say, Tomo-chan,
[22:06] ---
    what did you put for Question
    7 in Section 2 of the bio exam?
[22:08] ---
    Hey! Don't mumble crazy
    things to yourself, ask me--
[22:11] ---
    Oh! The answer to that one
    is "Calvin-Benson cycle"!
[22:14] ---
    I wasn't sure, but I put
    "Calvin-Benson cycle."
[22:17] ---
    Oh, that's what you put too,
    Tomo-chan? I feel better, then!
[22:22] ---
    Hey! Listen to me, Yozora!
[22:45] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:48] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:54] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:58] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[23:01] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:07] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:11] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:14] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:17] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:24] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:30] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:37] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:43] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:46] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:56] ---
    Phew, exams are finally over!
[23:59] ---
    I was dedicated about studying, so I
    got through them, but it was rough.
[24:02] ---
    By the way, the reason we had
    finals after summer vacation
[24:05] ---
    is because our school is
    on the two-term system.
[24:07] ---
    Who's that explanation for?
[24:09] ---
    Anyway, now that exams are over--
[24:11] ---
    Yeah, now we have to
    study for the next tests!
[24:14] ---
    Seriously?!
[24:15] ---
    "My Little Sisters Are This Cute"
[24:15] ---
    Next time: "My Little Sisters Are This Cute."
[24:20] ---
    So you really have a sister complex, Kodaka?
[24:23] ---
    

Season 2

16 - My Little Sisters Are This Cute

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:36] ---
    Kobato, you get it, okay?
    I can't leave dinner alone.
[00:39] ---
    Mm.
[00:39] ---
    If it's a newspaper salesman or something,
    you can just say "We don't want any."
[00:44] ---
    Mm.
[00:47] ---
    Kobato!
[00:48] ---
    Mm-mmm!
[00:52] ---
    We don't want any.
[00:54] ---
    So I was right, it's a salesman.
[00:56] ---
    We don't want any! We don't want any!
[00:59] ---
    I said ya ain't wanted, dummy!
[01:02] ---
    What's going on?
[01:04] ---
    How many times do I gotta
    say it? We don't want ya!
[01:08] ---
    It's Big Brother!
[01:10] ---
    Maria?!
[01:11] ---
    Big Brother! I found Big Brother!
[01:15] ---
    I said I didn't want ya, so
    why'd ya come inside, jerk?!
[01:18] ---
    Maria, what are you doing here?
[01:20] ---
    I'm a nunnery!
[01:22] ---
    Huh?!
[01:22] ---
    Whoops! I meant I'm a runaway!
[01:26] ---
    Don't get those two confus--wait, runaway?!
[01:28] ---
    Yep!
[01:44] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:45] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:48] ---
    Be My Side
[01:49] ---
    But I saw right through you
[01:51] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[01:55] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[02:03] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:04] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[02:08] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[02:17] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[02:24] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[02:31] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:32] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[02:34] ---
    Be My Side
[02:35] ---
    But I saw right through you
[02:37] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[02:42] ---
    So I can take your hand
[02:44] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:45] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[02:47] ---
    Be My Side
[02:48] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[02:51] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[02:55] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[03:02] ---
    "My Little Sisters Are This Cute"
[03:06] ---
    The hag's always on my case,
    telling me to do my job!
[03:09] ---
    So I told her "Big Brother
    wouldn't say that to me,"
[03:12] ---
    and she said, "Go live
    with Big Brother, then!"
[03:15] ---
    And you actually came?
[03:17] ---
    Yes!
[03:24] ---
    Hello?
[03:26] ---
    Yo. You know who I am.
[03:28] ---
    No lame jokes, please, Kate-sensei.
[03:31] ---
    Bingo! It's your little sister Kate*-chan*!
[03:36] ---
    Listen, Maria came over here...
[03:39] ---
    Yeah, I know. I'd appreciate it if you
    could keep her for a couple of days.
[03:43] ---
    Huh? Are you sure I shouldn't bring her back?
[03:46] ---
    Is she an inconvenience?
[03:47] ---
    Well, not really...
[03:49] ---
    What, poopy vampire?
[03:49] ---
    School's out for a few days,
[03:51] ---
    I ain't poop, dummy!
[03:51] ---
    so if she only stays that long...
[03:52] ---
    Thanks, Big Brother! Love you!
[03:55] ---
    Shut up.
[04:02] ---
    Wow! Why is there so much?! Is it Christmas?!
[04:07] ---
    Obviously not.
[04:09] ---
    Then why? Tell me why!
[04:11] ---
    What a bothersome minion of God.
[04:13] ---
    This is the whole problem with plebeians...
[04:16] ---
    Bad!
[04:17] ---
    What the heck was that, jerk?!
[04:18] ---
    You have to pray first!
[04:22] ---
    I am of the Night Tribe. I
    would never pray to your God.
[04:26] ---
    Kobato!
[04:28] ---
    You don't have to pray, but at
    least say "Thanks for the food."
[04:32] ---
    Thanks for the food...
[04:34] ---
    Good job.
[04:39] ---
    Hey, it's not fair for you to start first!
[04:41] ---
    O Father in Heaven, thank you
    for giving us this daily bread--
[04:46] ---
    Poopy amen!
[04:52] ---
    Tasty!
[04:54] ---
    Hey, you didn't finish prayin'!
[04:57] ---
    I'm securing this poor fried chicken
    before the evil vampire takes it!
[05:01] ---
    You're a cheater!
[05:02] ---
    Am not!
[05:03] ---
    Are too, are too!
[05:05] ---
    Am not!
[05:05] ---
    Chew with your mouths closed, you guys...
[05:06] ---
    Are too!
[05:07] ---
    The one who says "cheater"
    is the real cheater!
[05:11] ---
    Hello?
[05:13] ---
    B-Big Brother, what color
    underwear are you wearing?
[05:17] ---
    State your business.
[05:18] ---
    Oh, well, it's not a big deal, but
    are you eating dinner already?
[05:23] ---
    Yeah, right now.
[05:25] ---
    Okay. Tell Maria to eat her
    vegetables, okay Big Brother?
[05:29] ---
    Uh-huh.
[05:36] ---
    Okay, who ate my chicken?
[05:40] ---
    Her!
[05:45] ---
    Come to think of it, Maria, I'm
    impressed you found my house.
[05:48] ---
    I had the hag bring me here, so I was okay!
[05:51] ---
    Quite the unconventional runaway, aren't you?
[05:57] ---
    Hello?
[05:58] ---
    Did Maria eat her veggies?
[06:00] ---
    Like a horse.
[06:00] ---
    Hey, there's oil floating in there!
[06:01] ---
    Oh, good. Okay, bye!
[06:12] ---
    B-Bro...
[06:16] ---
    It has been a while. I'll allow
    you to play a game with me.
[06:18] ---
    Oh, I know what that is! It's
    one of those eroge things!
[06:22] ---
    No it ain't!
[06:23] ---
    It's not?
[06:25] ---
    That's a normal game, with no erotic stuff.
[06:27] ---
    Want to try it?
[06:28] ---
    Yeah!
[06:45] ---
    That was an easy win.
[06:47] ---
    No dim-witted human could
    even hope to match me.
[06:51] ---
    No pulling your punches, huh?
[06:55] ---
    Darkness Requiem!
[06:56] ---
    Come on, wake up!
[07:02] ---
    Fall into eternal darkness.
[07:03] ---
    I win once again.
[07:05] ---
    Aw, I was so close! It was mean
    of you to put that magic on me!
[07:09] ---
    Hey, it's about time you two took your baths.
[07:12] ---
    Baths? Me! I want a bath!
[07:15] ---
    Yay! Bath time! Bath time
    at Big Brother's house!
[07:21] ---
    Hey, the bath is this way!
[07:23] ---
    Oh, that way!
[07:26] ---
    So this is Big Brother's bath!
[07:31] ---
    Maria's in the bath.
[07:32] ---
    Okay, then tell her to make
    sure she washes up good.
[07:35] ---
    Are you that worried about her?
[07:37] ---
    I-I-I'm not worried at all!
[07:47] ---
    Whoa, it's like white poop.
[07:50] ---
    Maria, I'm leaving you some pjs.
[07:52] ---
    They're Kobato's, but don't sweat it.
[07:54] ---
    Oh, and wash up good!
[07:56] ---
    Got it!
[07:59] ---
    Ha! No effect on me.
[08:02] ---
    Hey, hey, Big Brother!
[08:04] ---
    What's up?
[08:05] ---
    These pajamas are uncomfortable!
[08:08] ---
    The chest is too tight.
[08:11] ---
    I can't sleep like this!
[08:14] ---
    Oh, sorry about that.
[08:16] ---
    Don't sleep then, dummy!
[08:19] ---
    Whoa, Kobato, what's gotten into you?!
[08:22] ---
    Refreshed!
[08:25] ---
    It's Big Brother's t-shirt!
[08:28] ---
    It's like I combined with him!
[08:34] ---
    Foolish minion of God, you
    shall regret mocking me!
[08:39] ---
    Bring it on, poopy vampire!
[08:41] ---
    Time to fight!
[08:56] ---
    That was an easy win.
[08:57] ---
    Did that teach you how powerful I am?
[09:05] ---
    Hmph! You're not even worth fighting now.
[09:21] ---
    Well, they do say "A sleeping
    child is a growing child."
[09:25] ---
    I'm sleepin' too!
[09:28] ---
    What's with you?
[09:34] ---
    Okay, I think I'll turn in, too...
[09:42] ---
    Is Maria asleep already?
[09:44] ---
    Yep.
[09:45] ---
    Oh.
[09:46] ---
    Listen... do you have a sister complex?
[09:49] ---
    H-H-How dare you say such a thing!
[09:55] ---
    Hello.
[09:56] ---
    Did she brush her teeth before she--
[10:02] ---
    Life's gonna be rough if I
    don't give Maria back fast.
[10:07] ---
    Hang in there, Maria...
[10:18] ---
    Hold it, Maria!
[10:20] ---
    Apologize to Big Brother
    for causing him trouble.
[10:23] ---
    S-Sorry for causing trouble!
[10:25] ---
    You caused me way more trouble.
[10:28] ---
    We owe you for this!
[10:30] ---
    It was no big deal.
[10:31] ---
    Hey, Big Brother, can I come stay over again?
[10:34] ---
    Sure, anytime.
[10:36] ---
    Don't ever come back, dummy!
[10:38] ---
    Shut up, poopy vampire! I'm
    coming back no matter what!
[10:45] ---
    Bye-bye!
[10:48] ---
    Phew. I was worried for a while there...
[10:53] ---
    Only a child runs away from home.
[10:57] ---
    But that line really got to her.
[11:05] ---
    Come on, gaming first thing in the morning?
[11:07] ---
    I must build up my magic to prepare for
    the foolish minion of God's invasion!
[11:12] ---
    Next time she comes,
[11:14] ---
    I shall make her prostrate herself
    before my overwhelming power!
[11:18] ---
    "Next time she comes," eh?
[11:32] ---
    Man, by the third day school's
    out, there's nothing left to do...
[11:37] ---
    True. How are the normal
    students killing time?
[11:42] ---
    Beats me.
[11:43] ---
    Ah, in manga Rika has seen people
    having parties together after finals.
[11:48] ---
    Rika thinks they're called
    "Forget Your Cares Parties."
[11:50] ---
    Oh, I've heard of those.
[11:53] ---
    Should we give this "Forget Your
    Cares Party" thing a shot, then?
[11:58] ---
    I didn't study for exams, so I
    don't have any cares to forget.
[12:01] ---
    Don't participate, then.
[12:03] ---
    Oh, I'm so tired! I was so worried
    about finals I'm exhausted now!
[12:08] ---
    I see. If you're that tired,
    don't overexert yourself.
[12:11] ---
    Go sleep in the nurse's office.
[12:12] ---
    Hey, wait--
[12:14] ---
    Um, Rika didn't take the
    exams to begin with...
[12:18] ---
    I'm a teacher, so I didn't take them either,
[12:20] ---
    but I wanna do the party!
[12:21] ---
    Sure, it's your choice.
[12:24] ---
    Then so will I!
[12:25] ---
    Sorry, but "Forget Your Cares
    Parties" are for six people only.
[12:28] ---
    Why do you pick on me like that?! Dummy!
[12:31] ---
    No cares!
[12:32] ---
    Does everybody have a drink?
[12:34] ---
    --Yep! - -Yeah!
[12:36] ---
    Okay, drink!
[12:38] ---
    Hold it, hold it! You're supposed to
    say "cheers" or something, not "drink"!
[12:41] ---
    O-Oh... Well, then, to finals ending...
[12:45] ---
    Ch-Cheers!
[12:47] ---
    Cheers.
[12:48] ---
    Cheers!
[12:50] ---
    Snacks! Snacks!
[12:52] ---
    What's wrong?
[12:53] ---
    I'm ashamed to say that I have
    trouble with carbonated drinks.
[12:58] ---
    Then why did you choose one?
[13:00] ---
    Because you chose it, Aniki.
[13:03] ---
    I see that a true man must not allow
    mere carbonation to defeat him.
[13:08] ---
    Hey!
[13:12] ---
    Are you okay?!
[13:16] ---
    Aniki, please forgive your useless servant.
[13:21] ---
    I'll drink this for you, so get yourself
    some orange juice or something.
[13:27] ---
    A-Aniki...
[13:29] ---
    OMG! Indirect kiss!
[13:32] ---
    What are you, a little kid?
[13:34] ---
    Sheesh...
[13:44] ---
    Hey, are you okay?
[13:48] ---
    Yozora, can you still
    not handle fizzy drinks?
[13:52] ---
    It's not that I can't drink them.
    I just hate them, that's all.
[13:56] ---
    "Still"?
[13:57] ---
    O-Oh, nothing...
[14:00] ---
    Crap, I forgot us knowing each
    other before was a secret.
[14:03] ---
    Very suspicious.
[14:05] ---
    Munch, munch.
[14:07] ---
    Well? What comes next? Do
    we play a game or something?
[14:11] ---
    Party games... The King Game comes to mind.
[14:15] ---
    What's the King Game?
[14:17] ---
    You draw straws to pick a king,
[14:19] ---
    and then the king gets to make
    another player do anything he wants.
[14:23] ---
    Anything?!
[14:24] ---
    So could I make Yozora lick my feet, then?!
[14:27] ---
    Ow!
[14:28] ---
    Well, the king's orders are absolute,
    so it's technically possible.
[14:33] ---
    I want to do it! I want
    to play the King Game!
[14:36] ---
    Very well. Someone needs to crack
    stupid Meat's psyche like an egg.
[14:41] ---
    J-Just a second! We're only doing
    this game on one condition!
[14:46] ---
    "King Straws" "Orders"
[14:46] ---
    Let's decide the king's orders by lottery.
[14:49] ---
    Everybody write down orders on
    paper and put them in this box.
[14:53] ---
    That's kind of a weird rule.
[14:55] ---
    Obviously without preventative measures,
    everybody's orders will be crazy!
[15:00] ---
    Okay, everybody got one? Now...
[15:04] ---
    Who's the king?!
[15:08] ---
    Here! I'm the king!
[15:08] ---
    "King"
[15:10] ---
    I'm clearly the one suited
    to kingship, anyway.
[15:13] ---
    Whatever, Meat, just draw an order!
[15:16] ---
    Talking to your king that
    way will get you in trouble.
[15:20] ---
    And the order is... Number
    4 has to put on a swimsuit!
[15:23] ---
    Who the heck wrote that order?!
[15:26] ---
    Me!
[15:28] ---
    What did you intend to do
    if you got stuck doing it?
[15:33] ---
    I wouldn't get stuck with
    my own order, silly!
[15:37] ---
    Now, who's Number 4?
[15:39] ---
    Who's the poor sap
[15:41] ---
    who gets stuck humiliating themselves
    wearing a swimsuit like a super-idiot
[15:45] ---
    while everyone else is dressed?
[15:48] ---
    Bro!
[15:49] ---
    Kobato-chan?!
[15:52] ---
    I declare it invalid! This
    order never happened!
[15:55] ---
    My sympathies, but a king's
    order, once given, is absolute.
[15:59] ---
    Sister of Kodaka, if you must blame
    someone, blame this brutal tyrant.
[16:04] ---
    It's my fault?!
[16:05] ---
    But look, we don't have any swimsuits, so...
[16:09] ---
    It's not a swimsuit, but...
[16:16] ---
    Um, Kobato-chan?
[16:19] ---
    I ain't forgivin' you... I
    ain't never forgivin' you!
[16:22] ---
    I'm so sorry!
[16:25] ---
    Who's the king?!
[16:28] ---
    Oh, it's me.
[16:30] ---
    "Orders"
[16:35] ---
    W-Was this written by an idiot?!
[16:38] ---
    Who's Number 5?! Read the text on this paper!
[16:42] ---
    Hey, I won!
[16:46] ---
    Hmm... "T-Too good! I-I'm so close!
[16:50] ---
    I'm gonna come, I'm gonna
    come, oh, I'm there!
[16:53] ---
    It's so good! I'm coming so hard!"
[16:57] ---
    How could you make her read that?
[17:00] ---
    You figured it out, huh?
[17:02] ---
    Really Rika wanted one
    of her sempai to pick it
[17:04] ---
    so she could enjoy them writhing
    in shame as they recited it...
[17:08] ---
    We're moving on.
[17:10] ---
    I'm the king!
[17:10] ---
    "Orders"
[17:12] ---
    And the order is...
[17:12] ---
    "King"
[17:22] ---
    Welcome!
[17:25] ---
    Tell me, was someone with
    my face just in here?
[17:28] ---
    That was Lupin, you rube!
[17:33] ---
    Thank you for shopping with us!
[17:37] ---
    Which one of you wrote this stupid order?
[17:40] ---
    And why would the king give
    herself an order, anyway?!
[17:44] ---
    The king's orders are absolute.
    Even orders to herself.
[17:50] ---
    So she's the culprit.
[17:53] ---
    And she folded a corner so
    that she wouldn't pick it...
[17:56] ---
    She's a fearsome woman, as always...
[17:59] ---
    "Orders"
[18:01] ---
    "Number 1 has to bare their chest
    to everybody." Ugh, that's low.
[18:06] ---
    Leave it to you, Aniki.
    That's majorly hard-core.
[18:09] ---
    Whoa, hey, it wasn't me!
[18:12] ---
    Yeah, I wrote that one.
[18:13] ---
    Seriously, what if you'd
    gotten stuck doing it?!
[18:18] ---
    That would never happen!
[18:21] ---
    I really don't get what
    makes you so sure of that.
[18:23] ---
    So... Who's showing their boobs?
[18:32] ---
    Mine are bigger than yours!
[18:41] ---
    "Orders"
[18:47] ---
    "Curry-flavored poop?"
    "Or poop-flavored curry?"
[19:10] ---
    Okay, let's stop after the next one.
[19:13] ---
    Who's the king?!
[19:14] ---
    "King"
[19:16] ---
    Oh, it's me!
[19:19] ---
    "Orders" This time I swear
    I'll make you lick my feet!
[19:23] ---
    Hmm? There's one stuck at the bottom.
[19:27] ---
    Okay, that's it! This is the one
    worthy of being the last order!
[19:33] ---
    Okay, "Number 3 and the
    king have to kiss"--Huh?!
[19:40] ---
    A kiss? Well, that's certainly
    a staple of the King Game!
[19:43] ---
    Wh-Who's Number 3?!
[19:46] ---
    Here.
[19:47] ---
    Wow, you're gonna kiss? You're so grown-up!
[19:55] ---
    W-Well, Kodaka, get over here.
[19:58] ---
    Huh? We're seriously doing it?
[20:01] ---
    We have no choice! Since the
    king's orders... are absolute...
[20:05] ---
    That's true...
[20:39] ---
    No!
[20:41] ---
    Wh-What's with you?
[20:43] ---
    You can't! I mean, it's disgraceful!
[20:47] ---
    The king's orders are absolute, aren't they?
[20:49] ---
    Shut up! I said no, and I meant no!
[20:52] ---
    What the heck?
[20:53] ---
    I know!
[21:00] ---
    There, mission accomplished.
[21:03] ---
    Th-This is Sena's glass, see?
[21:07] ---
    So it's, um... We'll call it an
    indirect kiss! Or is that no good...
[21:14] ---
    That's absolutely fine.
[21:17] ---
    I'll allow it.
[21:19] ---
    Aniki...
[21:22] ---
    Okay, that's the end of the King Game!
[21:25] ---
    Huh?
[21:26] ---
    Now, let's clean up!
[21:28] ---
    Huh?
[21:35] ---
    Well, it wouldn't have been as
    good doing it in-game anyway.
[21:49] ---
    Hello?
[21:50] ---
    Hey, long time no see!
[21:52] ---
    Oh, Dad, it's you.
[21:54] ---
    Are you and Kobato doing well?
[21:57] ---
    Yeah, we're fine. Did you want something?
[22:01] ---
    Well, it's not a huge
    deal or anything, but...
[22:06] ---
    It's something Zaki said.
[22:07] ---
    "Zaki"? Oh, the President?
[22:11] ---
    So... are you marrying Zaki's girl?
[22:18] ---
    Huh?!
[22:39] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:01] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:53] ---
    Anyway, that was kind of a tragic
    "Forget Your Cares Party," huh?
[23:56] ---
    Who'd have thought a party
[23:58] ---
    to celebrate not being tired
    would tire me out so much?
[24:00] ---
    As always, Aniki, you transcend
    the conventional wisdom.
[24:04] ---
    Hey, it wasn't my fault!
[24:05] ---
    You're just being modest.
[24:07] ---
    It's not modesty!
[24:09] ---
    Next time: "A Man Is Among Them!"
[24:09] ---
    "A Man Is Among Them!"
[24:13] ---
    That must be me.
[24:15] ---
    Oh yeah, I forgot you were a guy.
[24:17] ---
    

Season 2

17 - A Man Is Among Them!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    So... are you marrying Zaki's girl?
[00:16] ---
    Me?!
[00:17] ---
    Yeah. I just called him up,
[00:20] ---
    and he started askin'
    me about a wedding date!
[00:24] ---
    He did sound kinda sloshed, though.
[00:27] ---
    So, are you datin' Sena-chan?
[00:29] ---
    O-Of course not!
[00:31] ---
    Aw, bummer.
[00:34] ---
    Do you at least have your
    first girlfriend, then?
[00:36] ---
    No.
[00:38] ---
    A girlfriend, when I don't
    even have a friend-friend...?
[00:40] ---
    Huh? What did you say?
[00:42] ---
    Oh, hey, Kobato got a boyfriend. She's
    staying at his place again tonight.
[00:46] ---
    What?! Who the hell is he?!
[00:48] ---
    Who's the bastard who
    made a move on my angel?!
[00:50] ---
    He's gonna pay! I'm comin'
    back to Japan right now!
[00:52] ---
    I was kidding. Okay, bye.
[00:54] ---
    Huh? Hey, wait a--
[01:11] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:12] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:15] ---
    Be My Side
[01:16] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:18] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:22] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[01:30] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:31] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[01:36] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[01:44] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[01:51] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[01:58] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:59] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:01] ---
    Be My Side
[02:02] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:04] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:09] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[02:11] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:12] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[02:14] ---
    Be My Side
[02:15] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[02:18] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[02:22] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[02:29] ---
    "A Man Is Among Them!"
[02:31] ---
    Yo.
[02:33] ---
    Ah, Kobato-chan's here!
[02:37] ---
    Bro...
[02:38] ---
    Kobato-chan, want to go to an
    amusement park with me tomorrow?
[02:42] ---
    No!
[02:42] ---
    Look, look, it's a ticket
    to Yokoshima Wonderland!
[02:47] ---
    Daddy got it from somebody
    at work. And look at this!
[02:50] ---
    There'll be limited-edition stuff there!
[02:52] ---
    And I'll buy you snacks
    and a tasty hamburger!
[02:55] ---
    Limited edition stuff...
    snacks... hamburgers!
[02:59] ---
    Come on, Kobato-chan, don't be scared!
[03:02] ---
    I'll be gentle! So have some
    fun with your big sis! Okay?
[03:07] ---
    How pathetic can you get?
[03:10] ---
    Yokoshima Wonderland, eh?
[03:10] ---
    Give it back, stupid Yozora!
[03:12] ---
    Have you been there, Yozora?
[03:14] ---
    My school did a fall field
    trip there in eighth grade.
[03:17] ---
    I spent the whole time
    reading a book, though.
[03:21] ---
    I-I see...
[03:23] ---
    I've only been there with my family,
[03:26] ---
    but an amusement park with
    friends sounds nice, you know?
[03:31] ---
    Y-Yes...
[03:33] ---
    All right, tomorrow we're all going
    to Yokoshima Wonderland together!
[03:38] ---
    For real?!
[03:39] ---
    School's out, so we've all got
    time to kill anyway, right?
[03:42] ---
    True.
[03:43] ---
    And tomorrow is a weekday, so
    it probably won't be crowded...
[03:46] ---
    Rika wants to go too!
[03:47] ---
    I shall accompany you, Aniki.
[03:50] ---
    Yay! I'm going to the amusement park!
[03:52] ---
    I'm going to Yokoshima
    Wonderland with Big Brother!
[03:52] ---
    I suppose I'll divert myself with
    a human pastime, just this once.
[03:57] ---
    Okay, it's decided.
[03:59] ---
    Hold it! I only invited Kobato-chan!
[04:03] ---
    This ticket admits six adults.
[04:05] ---
    We're helping you make sure it's not wasted.
[04:09] ---
    Wait, six adults?
[04:11] ---
    Yay! Yay!
[04:13] ---
    Huh? I can't go? Because I'm a little girl?
[04:18] ---
    Because you're a little girl.
[04:21] ---
    Oh. Yeah, I'm just a
    little girl, after all...
[04:25] ---
    Don't worry, I'm used to it.
[04:33] ---
    I can shell out enough for one kid's ticket.
[04:35] ---
    Really?!
[04:37] ---
    Thanks, Sena! You're a good person!
[04:44] ---
    Hey, Sena.
[04:45] ---
    What?
[04:46] ---
    Did you notice anything off
    about the President yesterday?
[04:51] ---
    Daddy?
[04:52] ---
    Come to think of it, after
    he gave me the park tickets,
[04:55] ---
    he suddenly got all happy
    and started drinking sake...
[04:59] ---
    Why?
[05:00] ---
    Beats me.
[05:01] ---
    All I could think about
    was inviting Kobato-chan,
[05:03] ---
    so I don't really remember.
[05:05] ---
    Oh.
[05:07] ---
    Yeah, it must've just been drunken rambling.
[05:10] ---
    Tomorrow will be great,
    won't it, Kobato-chan?
[05:13] ---
    No!
[05:14] ---
    Oh, you're so cute!
[05:22] ---
    Wow!
[05:25] ---
    So this is the fabled "amusement park."
[05:28] ---
    Huh...
[05:30] ---
    It must be Sena's first time, too.
[05:35] ---
    So, what ride should we go on fir--huh?
[05:38] ---
    This one.
[05:40] ---
    Black Dragon!
[05:43] ---
    F-For real?!
[05:44] ---
    You want to go straight to the
    Black Dragon? Are you crazy?!
[05:47] ---
    I swore to myself that I'd ride this!
[05:49] ---
    J-Just so you know, I didn't stay up
    all night deciding whether to ride it!
[05:53] ---
    I just figured, since it's famous...
[05:55] ---
    Just you wait, dragon of the night.
[05:57] ---
    The Black Dragon...
[05:59] ---
    That name seems fitting for a true man.
[06:00] ---
    I wanna ride that one too!
[06:04] ---
    Don't come crying to me later.
[06:06] ---
    Let's go!
[06:12] ---
    Quite slow, isn't it?
[06:14] ---
    The ignorant masses down there
    look like flecks of dirt.
[06:21] ---
    What's the matter, dark dragon?
    Is this all you've got?
[06:26] ---
    Rika's being stimulated by the nice
    vibrations, and she's starting to get a little hot!
[06:39] ---
    Whoa--I'm not liking how high we are.
[06:43] ---
    That's right, Black Dragon!
[06:45] ---
    Lead me to the far reaches
    of time and... and...
[06:50] ---
    No, don't!
[06:54] ---
    Th-Th-There's something so wrong
    with whoever thought up this ride!
[06:54] ---
    D-D-Do you think I'll let you
    get away with doing this to me?!
[06:58] ---
    You're just a hunk of steel!
[06:58] ---
    Drop dead, you scum! Pervert!
[07:00] ---
    A toy! I'll freaking kill you!
[07:01] ---
    You lied to me again, Yozora!
    I'm gonna die from this!
[07:07] ---
    Stop, stop, go back!
[07:07] ---
    W-Wait, stop, really, please stop! Please!
[07:09] ---
    I'll kill you! I swear I'll kill you!
[07:11] ---
    Here it comes...
[07:14] ---
    I'm gonna die! You rotten apples!
[07:17] ---
    Bro!
[07:23] ---
    Fuck.
[07:34] ---
    Too high too high too high too high!
[07:34] ---
    Shit! Meat Meat Meat Meat
    stupid Meat shitty Meat!
[07:39] ---
    Stop saying poopy, you poopy woman! Bro!
[07:39] ---
    Poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy!
[07:44] ---
    "Form itself is emptiness;
    emptiness itself is form..."
[07:47] ---
    Your face tells me just how bad you
    want it, you planetary mass whore!
[07:51] ---
    You look like a bitch in heat!
    Universal gravitation streak of shit!
[07:54] ---
    Kodaka! Kodaka, Kodaka, Kodaka, Kodaka!
[07:54] ---
    Die die die! I swear I'll
    curse you! Kodaka, help me!
[07:58] ---
    Bro! Bro!
[07:58] ---
    Poopy poopy poopy... Yay, high!
[08:02] ---
    "...up to and including no
    field of mind-consciousness..."
[08:05] ---
    You better ejaculate faster
    than the speed of light!
[08:07] ---
    Rika's lost it!
[08:07] ---
    A pig who can't transcend
    might as well blow it!
[08:17] ---
    H-How was it?
[08:20] ---
    That was super fun!
[08:23] ---
    Rika's head hurts. Can't remember...
    Can't remember anything...
[08:28] ---
    Ladies and gentlemen, may I
    have your attention please.
[08:31] ---
    There will be a *Fullmetal Necromancer
    *skit at 10:45 on the event stage.
[08:39] ---
    We hope to see you all there shortly.
[08:42] ---
    Kobato-chan...
[08:46] ---
    Want to go with me?
[08:48] ---
    Yeah! Let's hurry, Bro!
[08:52] ---
    Kobato-chan, wait!
[08:57] ---
    Guess what, Kobato-chan? I just bought
    all the Fullmetal Necromancer Blu-rays!
[09:02] ---
    The truth is, I'm a huge fan!
[09:05] ---
    Who's your favorite character?
[09:08] ---
    Me, I like Mel-chan from season two best!
[09:13] ---
    She's a one-off character, but--
[09:14] ---
    Meryl.
[09:15] ---
    Pardon?
[09:16] ---
    Meryl. The phoenix tamer
    from Season 2 Episode 8.
[09:19] ---
    Emeraude Mireille von Livaraycia
    Ohtori's nickname is "Meryl."
[09:23] ---
    Not "Mel."
[09:25] ---
    A-Ah, right, Meryl-chan.
[09:28] ---
    And she came back in Episode 5 of Season 3!
[09:31] ---
    Um, Kobato-chan...
[09:33] ---
    Sena, she's a serious fanatic
    when it comes to this show,
[09:37] ---
    so if you don't know your stuff,
    you'll only set her off more.
[09:41] ---
    Kodaka, why don't real-world conversations
    come with options and save points?!
[09:47] ---
    Hi there, boys and girls!
    Thanks for stopping by!
[09:52] ---
    A really great friend came
    here today for you guys!
[09:56] ---
    That's right: it's Guernica-chan
    from Fullmetal Necromancer!
[10:02] ---
    Okay, let's all call her name together!
[10:07] ---
    One, two--
[10:11] ---
    My name is Astaroth! Guernica's
    running late thanks to a trap I set!
[10:18] ---
    I'm taking you hostage before she gets here.
[10:22] ---
    Oh no! Help!
[10:26] ---
    Now, would one of you kids come
    be a hostage with this young lady?
[10:31] ---
    There's a great free gift waiting for
    whoever lets me take them hostage!
[10:35] ---
    Can't ask for more than that...
[10:38] ---
    Me!
[10:39] ---
    Me, me! I'll be a hostage for you!
[10:42] ---
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[10:44] ---
    Don't worry, Kobato-chan,
[10:47] ---
    I'll get the free gift for you, okay?
[10:48] ---
    Hey, are you serious?
[10:50] ---
    I don't care about a gift
    from this stupid show.
[10:50] ---
    Of course!
[10:52] ---
    Er, we'd like to ask the mothers in
    the crowd to let the kids go first.
[10:56] ---
    Huh? "Mothers"?
[11:00] ---
    Fine, then I'll take a child
    in her mother's place!
[11:04] ---
    What are they talking about?
[11:04] ---
    Now, does anybody else want to be my hostage?
[11:06] ---
    I think they're mistaking
    you for Kobato's mother.
[11:09] ---
    M-Me and Kobato-chan, mother and daughter?!
[11:13] ---
    It looks like nobody's raising their hands!
[11:13] ---
    Th-That would mean my husband...
    is you... now wouldn't it?!
[11:18] ---
    That's not even funny!
[11:21] ---
    Yeah, well, I wouldn't like that either!
[11:24] ---
    What's that supposed to mean?! Honestly...
[11:27] ---
    There's a great free gift
    waiting for the hostage!
[11:27] ---
    Could I ask you to come over?
[11:32] ---
    And I mean really great!
[11:35] ---
    Kobato-chan?
[11:37] ---
    Watch your step, okay?
[12:15] ---
    "Guernica-chan♡" "Director - Masashi Kaido"
[12:18] ---
    Pretty cool that you got the
    director's autograph, huh?
[12:20] ---
    Mm-hmm!
[12:21] ---
    Guess you wouldn't have gotten that
    if Sena hadn't raised her hand, huh?
[12:27] ---
    Tha... tha...
[12:29] ---
    Hmm?
[12:31] ---
    Tha-Thank... you...
[12:34] ---
    K-Kobato-chan!
[12:39] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan's so cute
    when she's feeling shy!
[12:43] ---
    I want to thank you, too. Thanks.
[12:46] ---
    I-I didn't do it for you or anything!
[12:49] ---
    It was for Kobato-chan.
[12:52] ---
    And anyway, what was with that
    hag and the horse-head jerk?!
[12:54] ---
    U-Us, married? I mean, sheesh...
[12:58] ---
    Married... that's just dumb!
    First you'd think "couple"...
[13:02] ---
    What'd you say?
[13:04] ---
    Nothing! Hmph!
[13:13] ---
    So, what were you guys up to?
[13:16] ---
    I sat on a bench and read my book.
[13:18] ---
    Rika went on the merry-go-round ten times.
[13:20] ---
    I ate a hot dog! And popcorn,
    and a crêpe, and...
[13:25] ---
    ...what else, again?
[13:25] ---
    I'm sorry you felt like you had
    to buy so much food, Yukimura.
[13:28] ---
    Nonsense, it was an honor to look
    after your younger sister, Aniki.
[13:34] ---
    Here you go.
[13:36] ---
    Yay, curry!
[13:38] ---
    Curry looks like p--
[13:40] ---
    Your life depends on your next words.
[13:43] ---
    Pretty tasty stuff.
[13:45] ---
    Good.
[13:50] ---
    Anyway, what do we do after lunch?
[13:53] ---
    I want to go on the Black Dragon again!
[13:57] ---
    I think we've had enough Black
    Dragon for today. Right?
[14:00] ---
    I-I'm completely up for another ride...
[14:05] ---
    But I suppose we shouldn't
    if you guys are scared!
[14:08] ---
    Don't play tough, Meat. That
    thing had you seconds from death.
[14:11] ---
    Excuse me? Your knees were knocking.
[14:14] ---
    N-No they weren't!
[14:17] ---
    "Noooo!"
[14:18] ---
    Your screams are perfectly
    preserved in my memory.
[14:22] ---
    You're the one who was crying!
[14:24] ---
    N-Not only that, you peed
    a little, didn't you!
[14:27] ---
    H-How did you--
[14:30] ---
    W-Wait, you really did?
[14:33] ---
    Of course not! That lame coaster
    didn't scare me one bit!
[14:38] ---
    Then let's see you prove
    it by going another round!
[14:41] ---
    Bring it on! And you have
    to ride too, obviously!
[14:44] ---
    Because my camera's gonna get a
    photo of the tears on your face!
[14:49] ---
    Wait, did you bring a camera?
[14:52] ---
    Oh yeah, hidden and ready.
[14:55] ---
    Why bother hiding it?
[14:56] ---
    Um... Why should that matter?
[15:03] ---
    "Yokoshima Wonderland"
[15:03] ---
    Big Brother, this way!
[15:19] ---
    We're way up high!
[15:22] ---
    The people look like flecks of dirt.
[15:28] ---
    Man, the Black Dragon really is extreme.
[15:33] ---
    Come to think of it, I wonder
    what happened to Yozora and Sena.
[15:37] ---
    It's been a long time since we split up.
[15:39] ---
    Shall we meet up with them again?
[15:46] ---
    Aniki.
[15:48] ---
    We've found them.
[15:58] ---
    My head hurts...
[16:00] ---
    I feel sick.
[16:01] ---
    Wh-What the heck happened?
[16:03] ---
    We rode it.
[16:05] ---
    Eight times.
[16:06] ---
    You rode the Black Dragon eight times?!
[16:08] ---
    Yozora wouldn't admit that she lost...
[16:11] ---
    Meat wouldn't hurry up and die...
[16:13] ---
    So who won, then?
[16:15] ---
    The battle's still going.
[16:18] ---
    Come on, it's time for the ninth round...
[16:21] ---
    No, don't do it. You both
    fought bravely, okay?
[16:24] ---
    So let's just call it a tie.
[16:26] ---
    Not happening!
[16:27] ---
    Over my dead body.
[16:29] ---
    I'll never let Yozora w--
[16:29] ---
    I'll never let Meat w--
[16:48] ---
    See you in the waiting room at 4:00, then.
[16:51] ---
    "Men's Bath"
[16:55] ---
    Maria, why are you coming to the men's side?
[16:58] ---
    I don't wanna go with them.
    They smell like vomit.
[17:02] ---
    Oh. Well, I guess that's fair.
[17:04] ---
    Yeah! I'm gonna take a bath with big brother!
[17:13] ---
    Aniki.
[17:15] ---
    I shall wash your back for you.
[17:17] ---
    No, I'm fine! I'll do it myself!
[17:21] ---
    I see I am useless to you...
    In that case, I shall--
[17:26] ---
    Okay, fine, you can wash it! Please wash it!
[17:29] ---
    I hear and obey.
[17:41] ---
    Hold on to your sanity, Kodaka! He's a dude!
[17:47] ---
    So this is what a weenie looks like!
[17:49] ---
    Bad girl. Give me back my towel.
[17:53] ---
    Hey, how come you have
    that weird thing on you?
[17:56] ---
    "Weird"? All guys have these.
[18:00] ---
    How come Yukimura doesn't have one, then?
[18:05] ---
    Yukimura's a boy with no weenie! He's weird!
[18:09] ---
    It's because I haven't matured enough.
[18:11] ---
    Huh?!
[18:12] ---
    So will you grow one when you're mature?
[18:15] ---
    Yes. I shall work hard to be
    a full-fledged man like Aniki.
[18:20] ---
    I hope you get one soon!
[18:23] ---
    What are you guys sayi--
[18:32] ---
    It's not there...
[18:36] ---
    Aniki... I'm embarrassed.
[18:42] ---
    Y-Yeah... I guess a kid this cute...
[18:46] ---
    couldn't be a... guy...
[18:48] ---
    Which one next?
[18:49] ---
    That one!
[18:55] ---
    It's hard to believe that right away...
[18:59] ---
    Excuse Rika for a moment.
[19:03] ---
    Wait--Rika?!
[19:15] ---
    My lord, there is no mistaking it!
[19:17] ---
    This is a woman you see before you!
[19:19] ---
    That's what I just told you...
[19:22] ---
    Well, Rika has to check
    these things personally.
[19:25] ---
    Okay, now you convince Yukimura of it.
[19:29] ---
    I didn't have any luck.
[19:31] ---
    Rika doesn't like that you only
    rely on her at times like this...
[19:38] ---
    Yukimura-ku... er, -san... This way, please.
[19:48] ---
    Really?
[19:51] ---
    True, my body doesn't have one of those...
[20:00] ---
    Aniki, I'm afraid I am
    not a true Japanese man.
[20:05] ---
    More like you're not a man, period.
[20:09] ---
    Ack, wait! Don't cry, Yukimura!
[20:12] ---
    I deeply apologize.
[20:17] ---
    Say, why did you think you were a boy?
[20:22] ---
    Family circumstances.
[20:24] ---
    Oh...
[20:27] ---
    Wait, that's the end of the explanation?!
[20:30] ---
    Yes.
[20:31] ---
    I'm amazed nobody figured it out before.
[20:33] ---
    Apparently a few people have noticed
    and pointed it out to her before,
[20:37] ---
    but she says she paid them no mind.
[20:39] ---
    I-I see...
[20:40] ---
    I'm amazed Rika managed to bring her around.
[20:43] ---
    Aniki...
[20:45] ---
    Am I still your sworn brother,
    even though I'm not a boy?
[20:55] ---
    Obviously! You'll always be my brother.
[21:01] ---
    Yes, Aniki. I shall always
    remain your devoted servant.
[21:07] ---
    What are you blushing for, Kodaka?
[21:09] ---
    But oh dear, Yukimura's suddenly
    starting to look really cute to me...
[21:14] ---
    I might find her a little moe!
[21:15] ---
    Moe?!
[21:16] ---
    Sure--she's a pretty-girl maid!
[21:18] ---
    Shit, how could I have been so careless?!
[21:21] ---
    Here I thought he was just an oddball...
[21:23] ---
    Hey... What's with you, Yozora?
[21:25] ---
    She's cute and sweet and submissive!
[21:28] ---
    And a maid who'll be his
    servant on top of that?!
[21:30] ---
    Give me a break!
[21:36] ---
    I can't take it... I have no luck!
[21:40] ---
    Why do things go so badly?!
[21:58] ---
    They all look like normal cute
    girls when they're asleep.
[22:09] ---
    Aniki...
[22:40] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:02] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:51] ---
    I never imagined that I was a girl.
[23:54] ---
    It's not uncommon for a pretty-boy
    character to turn out to be a girl,
[23:57] ---
    but this is the first time Rika's
    seen the girl herself say that line.
[24:00] ---
    Totally. Jeez, novelty isn't
    necessarily a good thing, you know.
[24:04] ---
    My apologies.
[24:07] ---
    Next time: "That Kind
    of Play Is Not Allowed..
[24:09] ---
    and.. My Worldview Is Disturbed
    When You Are Around"!
[24:13] ---
    I wonder who the "you" refers to?
[24:15] ---
    It's you.
[24:15] ---
    A spoiler?!
[24:17] ---
    

Season 2

18 - That Kind of Play Is Not Allowed! ~My Worldview Is Disturbed When You Are Around~

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    Yo...
[00:15] ---
    Good afternoon, Aniki.
[00:18] ---
    Yukimura, what's with that outfit?
[00:20] ---
    It's Become-a-Real-Man Training, Version 2!
[00:25] ---
    Though my skills remain immature,
    I shall be your devoted servant.
[00:27] ---
    No, no, it's not a maturity
    issue; you're a girl!
[00:31] ---
    A true man is someone who transcends biology.
[00:35] ---
    Correct, Yukimura.
[00:37] ---
    Even if you are biologically female,
[00:39] ---
    if you have the soul of a true man,
[00:41] ---
    you can become a true man!
[00:44] ---
    Yes. I promise you, Aniki, I
    shall become a true man like you.
[01:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:09] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:12] ---
    Be My Side
[01:13] ---
    But I saw right through you
[01:15] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[01:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[01:27] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:28] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[01:33] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[01:41] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[01:48] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[01:55] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:56] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:58] ---
    Be My Side
[01:59] ---
    But I saw right through you
[02:01] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[02:06] ---
    So I can take your hand
[02:08] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:09] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[02:11] ---
    Be My Side
[02:12] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[02:15] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[02:19] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[02:26] ---
    "That Kind of Play Is Not Allowed.. and.. My
    Worldview Is Disturbed When You Are Around"
[02:28] ---
    Okay, I understand your determination, but...
[02:32] ---
    Why a butler?
[02:33] ---
    A butler is the quintessential
    "capable man," obviously.
[02:35] ---
    Really?
[02:36] ---
    I think it's fine. Girls in
    butler costumes are cute anyway.
[02:40] ---
    True, and pretty girl butlers
    are popular these days.
[02:44] ---
    Yeah, like Kokonoe Mebaru-chan from
    Chicken Butler and Mayonnaise, you know?
[02:48] ---
    True, the hottest item lately
    probably is Mebaru from Chiki Mayo.
[02:53] ---
    It's super-cute how even though
    she always puts on airs,
[02:56] ---
    she's actually kind of a goof-up and
    she's constantly letting her guard down.
[03:00] ---
    It's also magnificent how naturally
    erotic the things she does are!
[03:04] ---
    The way she gets covered in
    mayonnaise every two seconds,
[03:07] ---
    it's like, "You're asking for it,
    aren't you, girl?!" You know?
[03:12] ---
    Mebaru*-chan*'s so cute!
[03:14] ---
    She gets Rika's moe going!
[03:17] ---
    You've got good taste, putting Yukimura-san
    in a butler suit, Yozora-sempai.
[03:26] ---
    I screwed up again.
[03:28] ---
    That all went over my head, but
    I'll wear the clothes Anego gave me
[03:32] ---
    to serve you with everything I have.
[03:35] ---
    Uh-huh... Well, do your best, I guess.
[03:40] ---
    Hey, Rika, is that one of those
    so-called "boys' love games"?
[03:44] ---
    Yes, Rika thought she'd try to get
    through some of her game backlog.
[03:48] ---
    "Anthem for Paradise"
    "Ayakashi Teenage Life"
[03:48] ---
    Are those all BL games?
[03:50] ---
    No, there are normal RPGs,
    shooters, and otomege, too!
[03:55] ---
    What are "otomege"?
[03:57] ---
    They're like "gal games" for girls.
[04:03] ---
    Th-This is... that cursed Semoponume!
[04:08] ---
    Is it a relative of Sparkling
    School or something, then?
[04:11] ---
    Well deduced! This is the *otomege
    *version of Sparkling School Life,
[04:15] ---
    where the main character's and target
    characters' genders are flipped.
[04:18] ---
    It's the "Girls Version," so
    it's "Girl School" for short.
[04:22] ---
    There are all kinds of
    games in this world, huh?
[04:25] ---
    You don't seem very interested.
[04:27] ---
    I'm not. It's related to that crap
    game, so it's bound to be crap too.
[04:32] ---
    I can't let that slide!
[04:34] ---
    I've never played Girl
    School, but it pisses me off
[04:37] ---
    to hear you dis a game that's essentially
    Sparkling School's little sister!
[04:40] ---
    To dis Girl School is to
    dis my little sister--
[04:44] ---
    Yes, it is to dis Kobato-chan!
[04:47] ---
    Kobato doesn't have anything to do with this.
[04:49] ---
    Still, I don't like people rejecting
    something just based on looks.
[04:55] ---
    You're with them?
[04:57] ---
    Fine, I'll attack it after
    I've played it, then.
[05:00] ---
    You can't object to that.
[05:10] ---
    Sparkling School Life: Girls Version F--
[05:15] ---
    Hey! Why'd you skip the opening?!
[05:18] ---
    It's a drag.
[05:20] ---
    A name, huh?
[05:21] ---
    It's traditional to play
    under your own name, Sempai.
[05:24] ---
    But the main character is a bitch who
    hits on all the guys at once, right?
[05:28] ---
    Maybe I should play under Meat's name...
[05:30] ---
    Why me?!
[05:32] ---
    Bitch play is fun too, but why
    not limit yourself to one boy
[05:36] ---
    and play as a pure-hearted
    girl for your first time?
[05:39] ---
    Hmm, in that case...
[05:41] ---
    "Mikazuki"
[05:50] ---
    Yohechiborake! Yohechiborake!
[05:52] ---
    A weird name for a weird girl!
[05:56] ---
    I didn't realize she was still bitter
    about the "Semoponume" thing...
[05:57] ---
    Yohechiborake!
[06:00] ---
    So not cool!
[06:04] ---
    Sena-sempai.
[06:06] ---
    Why are you throwing cold water
[06:10] ---
    on Rika's efforts to spread
    the otomege gospel?
[06:13] ---
    Oh, er, well...
[06:15] ---
    Why?
[06:17] ---
    U-Um... I'm sorry.
[06:20] ---
    What are you apologizing for?
[06:23] ---
    Rika is politely asking you
    to tell her why you did that.
[06:29] ---
    S-Scary!
[06:33] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora"
[06:36] ---
    "My name is Mikazuki Yozora!
[06:38] ---
    Starting today, I'm a high school
    freshman here at Sparkling Academy!
[06:42] ---
    Ah, the spring breeze feels so nice!"
[06:45] ---
    Spring breeze?!
[06:49] ---
    "I'm just an ordinary, average girl,
[06:52] ---
    but I'd love to have a wonderful school life.
[06:56] ---
    This hope swells in my breast
[06:58] ---
    as I head through the gate in
    a swirl of cherry blossoms."
[07:01] ---
    Hope swells in your breast?!
[07:04] ---
    You don't even have any breasts to swell!
[07:08] ---
    What was that for, Spring Breeze?!
[07:11] ---
    I'll kill you.
[07:12] ---
    It's okay, you'll get accustomed to it.
[07:17] ---
    "Ouch!"
[07:19] ---
    "I'm sorry, I was daydreaming.
    Here, can you stand?"
[07:24] ---
    Who is this boy?
[07:25] ---
    Shinomori Ouji. He's a rising
    freshman, just like the player!
[07:30] ---
    He's the heir to the Shinomori Conglomerate,
[07:32] ---
    and he's really popular with the girls.
[07:35] ---
    "I hope we can both lead
    wonderful school lives."
[07:40] ---
    "That boy was really cool...
[07:43] ---
    If I got to meet someone
    like that first thing,
[07:46] ---
    I think my days here will be nice and rosy!"
[07:50] ---
    Nice and rosy!
[07:57] ---
    From now on I'm calling you
    Rosy instead of Spring Breeze.
[08:02] ---
    This girl with flowerbeds
    for brains is not me!
[08:04] ---
    I'm switching back to Yohechiborake!
[08:06] ---
    Now, now, calm down. It's just a game.
[08:12] ---
    "Hey, do you know Shinomori-kun?"
[08:15] ---
    Who is this pushy broad?!
[08:18] ---
    Fuyuki Yoko. Apparently she sits
    next to the player in class.
[08:22] ---
    So, when do I get the
    option to tell her to die?
[08:26] ---
    Why?!
[08:27] ---
    This girl suddenly starts chatting up
    someone she doesn't know like they're friends.
[08:31] ---
    She seems like a bitch, just
    like Fujibayashi Akari.
[08:34] ---
    Hey! Akari is a really nice girl!
[08:38] ---
    "Let's be friends, okay, Yozora?"
[08:41] ---
    "Sure, nice to meet you!"
[08:43] ---
    Betrayer. I just know this girl's a betrayer.
[08:48] ---
    She's a hopeless loser, isn't she?
[08:48] ---
    "This Week's Plans" "Today I dress up!"
[08:50] ---
    I'll start by building up her grades.
[08:53] ---
    "This Week's Plans" "Today I study!"
[08:54] ---
    "Studying"
[08:56] ---
    Okay, now we're talking!
[09:00] ---
    "Hmmm, this question's hard..."
[09:04] ---
    Moron! She won't make it on her own
    in life if she's getting tripped up
[09:08] ---
    by first-semester freshman homework!
[09:12] ---
    "You look like you're having trouble.
    Want me to explain that to you?"
[09:16] ---
    Boy with glasses FTW!
[09:19] ---
    Is this the Girl School version of Yukiko?
[09:22] ---
    Not a very impressive guy.
[09:23] ---
    His name is Suzutsuki Touma.
[09:25] ---
    Apparently he's the smartest
    one in your grade.
[09:27] ---
    Why not let him teach you?
[09:33] ---
    "You're always studying
    in the library, right?
[09:36] ---
    So... I've been thinking about you."
[09:38] ---
    Th-Thinking?!
[09:41] ---
    Four-Eyes may look serious,
    but he's really disgraceful!
[09:44] ---
    "Thanks. Please explain it."
    "You're in my way, so get lost!"
[09:46] ---
    "You're in my way, so get lost!"
[09:49] ---
    "I admire you for wanting to solve
    the problem all by yourself.
[09:55] ---
    But I think asking people for help
    once in a while is a sensible tactic.
[09:59] ---
    Feel free to call on me if you ever need me."
[10:02] ---
    "You are now able to ask
    Suzutsuki Touma out on a date."
[10:04] ---
    Ugh, what a pain.
[10:06] ---
    From now on I'd better avoid the
    library and do something else.
[10:10] ---
    "Today I exercise!"
[10:21] ---
    "Fashion" "Art"
[10:22] ---
    "Exercise" "Studying"
[10:24] ---
    All right! Now this is me!
[10:26] ---
    You wasted all your chances
    at dates, though...
[10:29] ---
    This character's school life
    is too painful to watch.
[10:34] ---
    Wow, Yozora's just sad.
[10:47] ---
    You scum have a death wish, coming after
    me when I've got a 380 battle level!
[10:53] ---
    Why? Why isn't the "attack"
    option coming up?!
[10:56] ---
    Because this isn't that
    kind of game, obviously...
[11:03] ---
    "Ugh, guys like you seriously
    make me wanna puke."
[11:08] ---
    "Bastard!"
[11:09] ---
    "Get him!"
[11:17] ---
    "You're Mikazuki Yozora, right?"
[11:20] ---
    "How do you know my name?"
[11:23] ---
    "You are famous, you know."
[11:27] ---
    "The name's Nagatani Eiji.
[11:30] ---
    This ain't the place for elite
    types like you to wander around in.
[11:34] ---
    Go on home."
[11:36] ---
    "You are now able to ask
    Nagatani Eiji out on a date."
[11:39] ---
    Maybe I'll ask him out!
[11:41] ---
    So is this your type, Yozora-sempai?
[11:45] ---
    No! But just leveling forever
    is boring, isn't it?!
[11:50] ---
    So...
[11:51] ---
    I can't really handle guys like that.
[11:53] ---
    Their eyes are scary, and
    they're curt with everyone--
[11:57] ---
    You're one to talk!
[11:57] ---
    You have no right to talk, Sempai.
[12:01] ---
    "Huh? Next Sunday?"
[12:04] ---
    "Right. Let's meet... Um, how
    about at the batting cages?"
[12:09] ---
    "That's fine, I guess..."
[12:12] ---
    "Okay, it's a date."
[12:18] ---
    "You're pretty good."
[12:19] ---
    "Anyone can do this much!"
[12:24] ---
    "You... did your hair different today, huh?"
[12:27] ---
    "Hmm? Did you say something?"
[12:29] ---
    "It was nothing."
[12:31] ---
    Huh, he's pretty observant for a Yankee.
[12:35] ---
    Oh, if only Kodaka-sempai
    were such a keen observer...
[12:39] ---
    Of what?
[12:40] ---
    Hairstyles!
[12:42] ---
    When a girl changes her hairstyle,
    you have to mention it!
[12:45] ---
    With a compliment, if possible!
[12:47] ---
    When you got a haircut I told
    you it suited you, right Yozora?
[12:50] ---
    Don't just bring that
    up out of nowhere! Hmph!
[12:53] ---
    So you complimented Yozora-sempai...
[12:57] ---
    Speaking of hairstyles, you're changing
    yours constantly lately, aren't you?
[13:01] ---
    If you noticed, you should've said so!
[13:04] ---
    You never reacted, so Rika
    was afraid that to you,
[13:07] ---
    she was about as noticeable
    as a pebble on the roadside!
[13:10] ---
    She was really depressed!
[13:12] ---
    S-Sorry!
[13:13] ---
    But duh, of course I'm always watching you.
[13:19] ---
    'Cause who knows what
    you'll do unsupervised...
[13:22] ---
    Hmph! It's too late to
    win Rika over with that!
[13:26] ---
    Well, too bad for you, Sempai.
[13:28] ---
    What do you mean?
[13:30] ---
    If you'd complimented Rika, your affection
    points would've gone through the roof!
[13:33] ---
    Rika's difficulty rating is extremely
    low, if she does say so herself!
[13:38] ---
    If this were an eroge, we'd be
    going at it like rabbits by now!
[13:41] ---
    You'd clear Rika's flags
    and be cleared for launch!
[13:44] ---
    Why should I have to win
    affection points from you?
[13:47] ---
    Goddammit!
[13:50] ---
    H-Hey... Rika?
[13:52] ---
    Rika's getting confused now, so she's going
    to her lab to bask in the afterglow for a while.
[13:57] ---
    A-Afterglow?
[14:00] ---
    Shiguma Rika is to be pitied.
[14:05] ---
    "Another fun day, huh?"
[14:08] ---
    "Y-Yeah..."
[14:10] ---
    Oh no... Do you... think maybe he likes me?
[14:15] ---
    He definitely has some feelings for you.
[14:18] ---
    So I was right...?
[14:24] ---
    "Look, Yozora. What do you say
    we stop seein' each other?
[14:29] ---
    You're the school star.
[14:32] ---
    They even made you student council president.
[14:34] ---
    If you keep hangin' out with a punk like me,
[14:36] ---
    it'll wreck your reputation."
[14:41] ---
    "You wuss! Who cares what other
    people decide to think of me?!
[14:47] ---
    I'll decide who I want to be
    with! So you stay with me!"
[14:53] ---
    Oh no, Yozora suddenly seems cool...
[14:56] ---
    Anego...
[14:57] ---
    If this keeps going... they might...
[15:05] ---
    "I got into a first-rate university, but
    I didn't manage to get close to anyone.
[15:10] ---
    It was a lonely three years.
[15:13] ---
    Maybe I should've been kinder to people..."
[15:17] ---
    Why did it turn out this
    way?! What about Eiji?!
[15:20] ---
    At some point you must have
    failed to clear a key flag.
[15:24] ---
    After all, you never interacted
    with the other boys, or Yoko.
[15:30] ---
    Oh.
[15:31] ---
    Please don't get too down about it...
[15:34] ---
    Failure is half the fun of gaming.
[15:37] ---
    Make use of what you learned
    to take another crack at it!
[15:40] ---
    No, I'm done.
[15:45] ---
    If this is what happens when I live my
    life the way I want, then that's that.
[15:49] ---
    Sorry I called it a crap game. Girl
    School was pretty fun, really.
[15:54] ---
    Plus...
[15:56] ---
    I've got enough friendless,
    wussy Yankees in my real life.
[16:07] ---
    Yo.
[16:10] ---
    Hello, Kodaka-sempai.
[16:13] ---
    Hi. You changed your hairstyle, huh?
[16:17] ---
    That's it?!
[16:18] ---
    Jeez, I said something
    about your hair, didn't I?
[16:21] ---
    Yes, Rika changed her hairstyle.
[16:23] ---
    But you've noticed other things
    too, right? Haven't you?
[16:28] ---
    Here--ta-da!
[16:31] ---
    A haircut?
[16:32] ---
    Wrong!
[16:33] ---
    I know, I know, I was just joking.
[16:35] ---
    Oh, Sempai, you're so mean.
[16:40] ---
    You changed hairbands!
[16:41] ---
    Wrong!
[16:47] ---
    So, what's up with the blonde
    look? You going delinquent?
[16:51] ---
    No, Rika is not. She merely
    wanted to try coloring it.
[16:54] ---
    That's bad for your hair, you know.
[16:55] ---
    Not to worry! Rika used a special
    dye she created herself!
[16:59] ---
    You made it?
[17:01] ---
    Rika is proud of this one: there's almost
    zero fading or damage to the hair!
[17:06] ---
    Not only that: this outstanding
    product allows you
[17:08] ---
    to go right back to your natural
    black if you use the antidote!
[17:11] ---
    Amazing, isn't it?!
[17:12] ---
    I guess so...
[17:14] ---
    But you know, it's like, your
    inventions are so... unexciting.
[17:18] ---
    "Unexciting"?!
[17:19] ---
    Yeah. Useful computer programs,
    super-long-lasting light bulbs,
[17:25] ---
    electric pots that can boil
    water without a heat source,
[17:27] ---
    fully automatic beetle-raising tanks...
[17:30] ---
    It's like they're all about utility, and
    they've got no sparkle, no romance...
[17:34] ---
    Then what kind of invention do you want?!
[17:36] ---
    Well... Hey, I know, how about one
    of those giant robots you like?
[17:41] ---
    And he starts off with a
    national-government-level project!
[17:45] ---
    Okay, what about a fifth-dimensional pocket?
[17:47] ---
    The difficulty factor just shot
    up far beyond a giant robot there.
[17:50] ---
    All right, maybe a flashlight that
    can make stuff bigger or smaller,
[17:55] ---
    or a cloth you can wrap around
    broken things to fix them,
[17:58] ---
    or a jelly you can eat and
    understand all languages...
[18:05] ---
    Oh, hey! How do you feel about time machines?
[18:09] ---
    Ti--?!
[18:16] ---
    Okay, Rika made a time machine!
[18:19] ---
    Huh?
[18:20] ---
    Time machine?
[18:22] ---
    Can you use that thing to
    go to the past and future?
[18:24] ---
    Unfortunately only your consciousness
    can go, and you can only go to the past.
[18:28] ---
    You're kidding, right?
[18:29] ---
    Try it, then, if you don't believe Rika.
[18:33] ---
    Rika will set it to bring
    you back after five minutes.
[18:37] ---
    O-Okay...
[18:39] ---
    Aniki...
[18:41] ---
    That thing better be safe.
[18:43] ---
    You can trust mad scientist Shiguma Rika!
[18:46] ---
    That made me more worried...
[18:48] ---
    Don't sweat the small stuff.
[18:50] ---
    Okay, please focus on the
    time you want to go back to.
[18:54] ---
    The time I want to go back to...
[19:12] ---
    Is this...?
[19:15] ---
    No way.
[19:16] ---
    What are you mumbling about?
[19:25] ---
    S-Seriously...?
[19:27] ---
    What is it, Taka?
[19:29] ---
    Huh? What? What?!
[19:31] ---
    Is something wrong?
[19:33] ---
    Nah, it's nothing.
[19:35] ---
    You're so weird.
[19:37] ---
    Well, whatever. Okay, remember
    we promised to meet tomorrow.
[19:41] ---
    It's true. I'm in that day!
[19:45] ---
    See you later, Taka.
[19:49] ---
    Yozora, wait!
[19:51] ---
    How do you know my name?
[19:54] ---
    I'm moving away the day after tomorrow!
[19:57] ---
    I won't be back for ten years.
[20:00] ---
    So tomorrow's my last chance to see you!
[20:03] ---
    Taka...
[20:05] ---
    I'm sorry!
[20:05] ---
    For leaving without saying anything.
[20:07] ---
    But even if we can't see each
    other, we'll always be friends!
[20:10] ---
    You forgot about her until
    you came back, you jerk.
[20:13] ---
    I'll never forget you!
[20:15] ---
    You couldn't even remember your
    best friend's face, you jerk.
[20:18] ---
    I'm sorry, Yozora!
[20:21] ---
    I'm really sorry.
[20:25] ---
    Not good enough.
[20:26] ---
    I'll never forgive you!
[20:28] ---
    Die!
[20:35] ---
    I am known as the demon As-taro!
[20:38] ---
    Huh?!
[20:39] ---
    Kodaka, you're mine!
[20:46] ---
    Please forgive me!
[20:49] ---
    Yozora!
[20:58] ---
    Are you all right?
[21:01] ---
    Oh, right... I came back to
    this world after five minutes.
[21:05] ---
    Rika apologizes, Sempai.
[21:07] ---
    She lied when she said
    this was a time machine.
[21:10] ---
    The truth is, it's a sleep-aid device
    Rika added a hypnotic effect to
[21:15] ---
    so it lets you dream whatever you
    want by wishing for it strongly.
[21:20] ---
    So that was... a dream?
[21:23] ---
    Rika only wanted to pull
    a little prank on you,
[21:26] ---
    but it sounded like she ended up
    giving you a terrible nightmare...
[21:29] ---
    Rika is very sorry.
[21:31] ---
    Nah, I'm sorry too, for calling
    your inventions unexciting.
[21:35] ---
    And that machine is amazing!
[21:37] ---
    Things got weird at the end,
[21:39] ---
    but I really did get to
    feel like a time traveler.
[21:43] ---
    You let me tell her what I didn't get
    to before, even if it was in a dream.
[21:48] ---
    So you managed to go to the
    past within the dream, then?
[21:52] ---
    Yeah, ten years in the past.
[21:54] ---
    Ten years, I see...
[22:04] ---
    Hey, Kodaka, I have a question for you.
[22:07] ---
    Okay, what is it?
[22:08] ---
    What was Yozora doing in
    your dream of ten years ago?
[22:39] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:51] ---
    Hey, Taka, we're in charge
    of the preview this time.
[23:54] ---
    Things ten years from now got kinda
    weird. I wonder what'll happen?
[23:58] ---
    Well, I hear the title of the next
    episode is "Unbreakable Strange-Girl."
[24:00] ---
    "Unbreakable Strange-Girl"
[24:03] ---
    Awful title, huh?
[24:05] ---
    And who's the "Strange-Girl," anyway?
[24:07] ---
    I'd guess you.
[24:08] ---
    I don't do strange stuff!
[24:10] ---
    Most people'd call dressing like a boy
    and fighting with bullies "strange."
[24:16] ---
    That was mean, Taka.
[24:17] ---
    

Season 2

19 - Unbreakable Strange-Girl

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    Hey, Kodaka...
[00:13] ---
    What is it?
[00:15] ---
    What was Yozora doing in
    your dream of ten years ago?
[00:21] ---
    Um, wh-what are you talking about?
[00:24] ---
    Kodaka-sempai, you were shouting
    "Yozora! Yozora!" in your sleep.
[00:30] ---
    Seriously?!
[00:33] ---
    There's nothing strange about me
    appearing in his dream of the past.
[00:37] ---
    We were childhood playmates.
[00:41] ---
    P-Playmates? You and Kodaka?
[00:45] ---
    That's right.
[00:46] ---
    Until Kodaka left this city ten
    years ago, we often played together.
[00:52] ---
    We were what people call "playmates"...
[00:54] ---
    No, we were "friends."
[00:57] ---
    Frie...
[00:58] ---
    ...nds?
[01:00] ---
    Wh-Why didn't you say anything?!
[01:03] ---
    No point in going around spreading the story.
[01:06] ---
    "A long time ago, Kodaka
    and I were friends."
[01:08] ---
    That's all there is to it.
[01:11] ---
    Rika did have some inkling, but...
    Friends... Former friends, eh?
[01:18] ---
    Friends...
[01:39] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:40] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:43] ---
    Be My Side
[01:44] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:46] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:50] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[01:58] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:59] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[02:04] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[02:12] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[02:19] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[02:26] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:27] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:29] ---
    Be My Side
[02:30] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:32] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:37] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[02:39] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:40] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[02:42] ---
    Be My Side
[02:43] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[02:46] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[02:50] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[02:57] ---
    "Unbreakable Strange-Girl"
[03:11] ---
    Anybody else have comments?
[03:17] ---
    It's just like normal...
[03:20] ---
    Okay, then our contribution to the school
    festival is officially a maid café!
[03:26] ---
    Come to think of it, we have a
    school festival coming up, huh?
[03:30] ---
    Kodaka, you just stepped on a land mine.
[03:34] ---
    Land mine?
[03:35] ---
    Never mind. There's no "school festival."
[03:39] ---
    I don't even know what those words mean.
[03:41] ---
    Come on, you know our school has festivals!
[03:44] ---
    Kodaka.
[03:46] ---
    A school festival is an event of,
    by, and for people with real lives!
[03:53] ---
    Truer words.
[03:54] ---
    You get it now?
[03:55] ---
    Yeah... I guess it doesn't have
    anything to do with us, huh?
[04:00] ---
    Hey!
[04:01] ---
    Don't lump us all in with you.
[04:04] ---
    Kodaka the transfer student
    might not know this,
[04:06] ---
    but I played a big part
    in last year's festivals!
[04:09] ---
    Ah, Rika saw Sena-sempai last year!
[04:13] ---
    She watched the festivals
    from the guest seating,
[04:15] ---
    on the President's invitation.
[04:17] ---
    Okay, then you explain to them
    my magnificent performance!
[04:21] ---
    Right... You were in many competitions
    in the Athletics Festival.
[04:25] ---
    Yeah! Like the 200-meter dash!
[04:28] ---
    And the scavenger hunt race!
[04:29] ---
    And the obstacle course!
[04:31] ---
    And the bread-eating race, and the
    marathon, and the mock cavalry battle!
[04:36] ---
    I entered every singles event and
    won first place in all of them!
[04:40] ---
    That's impressive!
[04:42] ---
    And I did the Culture Festival
    too, not just Athletics!
[04:46] ---
    Ah, yes, the class play.
[04:48] ---
    Sena-sempai cut down the
    villains with her sword.
[04:51] ---
    Right, right! I was the lead!
[04:54] ---
    You were the one person more into it
    than everyone else for both festivals,
[04:58] ---
    and it turned other people off.
[05:00] ---
    What?! B-But the audiences
    were really into me!
[05:03] ---
    True, all the running and
    jumping made your boobs jiggle,
[05:08] ---
    so the guys definitely loved it.
[05:10] ---
    And they saw your panties
    during the play, too.
[05:14] ---
    S-So they weren't really mesmerized
    by my super-brilliant performance?!
[05:18] ---
    Sounds like you made a rather
    tragic showing. Very Meat-like.
[05:23] ---
    You are truly the saddest of sad cases.
[05:25] ---
    Don't call me that!
[05:28] ---
    All we can do is quietly let the
    happy people have their fun.
[05:34] ---
    S-So, Kodaka...
[05:37] ---
    Will... will you spend that day with--
[05:39] ---
    I know! The Neighbors Club can present
    something in the Culture Festival!
[05:44] ---
    Meeeeaaat...
[05:46] ---
    What? Times like this always end
    up with the club doing something!
[05:51] ---
    She's right, that is the formula.
[05:53] ---
    Okay, let's practice for when we'll
    need to do something with friends
[05:58] ---
    for festivals in the future!
[05:59] ---
    That settles it!
[06:00] ---
    Hey, wai--
[06:01] ---
    Rika has no objections.
[06:02] ---
    No, look--
[06:04] ---
    Aniki's wish is my command.
[06:06] ---
    K-Kodaka!
[06:09] ---
    What's wrong, Yozora?
[06:10] ---
    Hmph! Nothing!
[06:12] ---
    You're a moron, Kodaka!
[06:15] ---
    Very well! The Neighbors Club will
    participate in this year's Culture Festival.
[06:19] ---
    We shall cast those real-lifers
    enjoying the festival into hell!
[06:24] ---
    Yeah!
[06:25] ---
    Understood.
[06:27] ---
    Naturally!
[06:28] ---
    Look, we really shouldn't
    cast them into hell.
[06:32] ---
    Now, as for what we should contribute...
[06:32] ---
    "Decide-What-to-Do-at-Culture-Festival
    Meeting"
[06:36] ---
    How about a maid café?
[06:37] ---
    Die.
[06:37] ---
    Why'd you shoot that down?!
[06:39] ---
    Maid cafés are the easy
    path to festival victory!
[06:42] ---
    Thoughtless fool!
[06:43] ---
    Is it not obvious that I could
    never wait on customers?!
[06:48] ---
    Yeah, there's no way
    Yozora could manage that.
[06:51] ---
    Especially not as a maid.
[06:54] ---
    I just pictured Yozora in a maid
    outfit waiting on customers,
[06:58] ---
    and it was the funniest thing ever!
[07:00] ---
    That's some gag! Bwa ha!
[07:03] ---
    T-True, I can't do customer
    service--but neither can any of you!
[07:09] ---
    Hey, I can manage that much!
[07:12] ---
    Not that I've got experience...
[07:14] ---
    If Kodaka tried that, all the
    customers would run away!
[07:18] ---
    They would not! Not if I acted pleasant!
[07:21] ---
    Kodaka-sempai, acting pleasant?
[07:24] ---
    Fine, what about you?!
[07:26] ---
    Can you do customer service?!
[07:29] ---
    We cannot have you underestimating
    genius inventor Shiguma Rika!
[07:33] ---
    Yozora-sempai, do you have the maid
    costume Yukimura-kun wore here?
[07:37] ---
    Y-Yes, I do.
[07:45] ---
    Rika might as well wear the maid
    outfit to put this into practice.
[07:49] ---
    Rika will change clothes, so
    close your eyes, Kodaka-sempai.
[07:52] ---
    R-Right.
[07:57] ---
    You can open your eyes.
[08:06] ---
    Your face tells me you've simply
    acknowledged Rika is wearing maid clothes,
[08:10] ---
    and have no comments in particular.
[08:13] ---
    Wow. How did you just read my mind?
[08:16] ---
    Moron! You're a moron, Kodaka-sempai!
[08:18] ---
    And you actually kept your
    eyes closed the whole time!
[08:21] ---
    You were supposed to sneak a peek!
[08:24] ---
    Why?
[08:25] ---
    "Why," he says.
[08:26] ---
    Never mind, you pudding-headed imbecile!
[08:29] ---
    Get your ass out of this
    room and come back in again!
[08:34] ---
    You've really got a foul mouth lately.
[08:40] ---
    You pudding-headed dickwad!
[08:43] ---
    What the heck was that for?!
[08:45] ---
    Just sit down in your
    chair, you fucking clod!
[08:50] ---
    Again?!
[08:50] ---
    So you understand that you're being kicked,
[08:51] ---
    but not that you're being told to "sit"?!
[08:54] ---
    You're a stupid, poorly trained mutt!
[08:57] ---
    Rika seriously questions whether there
    are brains in that head of yours,
[09:01] ---
    which by the way is the color of her
    poop after she eats keema curry!
[09:06] ---
    You can't get away with whatever you
    want just by talking tsundere-style!
[09:10] ---
    Hmph, Rika says!
[09:12] ---
    Jeez...
[09:13] ---
    Who gave you permission
    to sit in a people chair?!
[09:18] ---
    Where the hell do you want me to sit, then?!
[09:20] ---
    There's a chair right there!
    One invisible to idiots!
[09:28] ---
    Now, I didn't bring this for you, got it?
[09:32] ---
    And the coffee is 980 yen, got it?
[09:36] ---
    I can't believe you're charging
    me for coffee I didn't even order.
[09:39] ---
    And it's expensive...
[09:41] ---
    Whatever, just take off your pants
[09:43] ---
    and pathetically humiliate yourself
    in public by exposing your privates
[09:46] ---
    as you enjoy the diabolical combo of
    coffee aroma and your own crotch stink!
[09:50] ---
    You perverted worm. Hmph!
[09:53] ---
    P-Please, I'm begging you, no more.
[09:58] ---
    You can come back again, though, got it?
[10:01] ---
    Not on your life!
[10:05] ---
    So, how did you like Rika's "tsundere maid"?
[10:08] ---
    Tsundere my ass! My heart
    was starting to break!
[10:11] ---
    That's strange... Rika thought this
    wait style would get people hooked.
[10:14] ---
    That unlikely hypothesis aside,
    this could be a direction to go in.
[10:19] ---
    No, it really couldn't!
[10:20] ---
    What did you think, Yukimura-kun?
[10:23] ---
    I'm afraid your skills are still immature.
[10:26] ---
    So, as a former maid, do you by any
    chance know the essence of the Maid Way?
[10:31] ---
    Yes. The essence of the Maid Way...
[10:36] ---
    ...is a spirit of fidelity to Aniki!
[10:40] ---
    W-Well then, let's see Meat's
    customer service skills next.
[10:44] ---
    What? Me, too?
[10:46] ---
    Wh-Why not? I'd love to see it, Sena-sempai!
[10:51] ---
    Oh, all right.
[10:54] ---
    Okay, Kodaka! I'm changing,
    so go out in the hallway!
[10:57] ---
    I can't just close my eyes?
[10:59] ---
    Of course not!
[11:00] ---
    I-I mean, we've already got
    two strikes on our record...
[11:03] ---
    Hmm? What?
[11:05] ---
    Never mind, just get out!
[11:09] ---
    What's with her?
[11:14] ---
    Okay, Kodaka!
[11:18] ---
    Welcome home, Master.
[11:22] ---
    Th-That looks tight...
[11:25] ---
    Don't stare at me!
[11:27] ---
    I'm surprised you guys managed
    to put on something this tight.
[11:32] ---
    Fuck.
[11:34] ---
    American porn...
[11:35] ---
    You sow...
[11:38] ---
    What would you like to order?
[11:40] ---
    We have special maid sandwiches,
[11:42] ---
    special maid cakes, special maid
    tea, and special maid coffee.
[11:49] ---
    Okay, I'll have coffee...
[11:51] ---
    Coming right up, my master!
[11:58] ---
    What's with you? Why can you do this?!
[12:01] ---
    I-It's not that weird!
[12:04] ---
    I'm, um... Oh! I'm just copying Stella!
[12:08] ---
    Oho. So it's because you have a
    professional butler nearby, then?
[12:12] ---
    Yes! That's right!
[12:14] ---
    Why would watching a butler work give
    you the ability to be a café girl?
[12:19] ---
    Copying or not, I'm impressed!
[12:22] ---
    A-Aw, stop it!
[12:23] ---
    Oh, right, I have to do a
    spell to make it taste better!
[12:27] ---
    A spell?
[12:29] ---
    Taaaaaste good! Moe, moe, oh!
[12:35] ---
    H-Huh?
[12:37] ---
    Meat.
[12:38] ---
    Y-Yes, Master?
[12:43] ---
    Meat.
[12:46] ---
    Meeaaat...
[12:51] ---
    I-I do not visit maid cafés
    whenever I'm not in school, okay?!
[13:00] ---
    Okay, maid cafés are off the table.
[13:05] ---
    Well, I'm going home.
[13:07] ---
    Okay.
[13:15] ---
    Oh, right...
[13:18] ---
    Yozora, I wanted to ask you--
[13:24] ---
    I-It's not...
[13:25] ---
    I-I have reasons! I mean... Um... You see...
[13:30] ---
    Hey, wait--!
[13:33] ---
    "BL de Fan-Comic"
[13:41] ---
    Sorry, everybody with AB blood--today
    is a very unlucky day for you!
[13:45] ---
    Make sure you're careful, so you
    don't end up hurting your friends.
[13:51] ---
    Like I have any friends...
[13:53] ---
    Oh, Kobato, do you have
    make-up classes today?
[13:57] ---
    Today my long two-week
    ordeal comes to its end.
[14:02] ---
    That's nice.
[14:04] ---
    Next time don't fail any classes.
[14:07] ---
    Mm-hmm.
[14:08] ---
    "St. Chronica's Academy Festival"
[14:10] ---
    "Decide-What-to-Do-at-Culture-Festival
    Meeting"
[14:11] ---
    Let's see... How about
    a fortune-telling booth?
[14:15] ---
    Do you actually believe in that stuff?
[14:18] ---
    Not personally, but don't lots of people
    like getting their fortunes told?
[14:23] ---
    Especially high school girls.
[14:25] ---
    I don't buy into any of that stuff.
[14:27] ---
    After all, I've been chosen by God!
[14:31] ---
    Every day is my lucky day!
[14:35] ---
    That's exactly right, Meat.
[14:38] ---
    Every day is your lucky day.
[14:40] ---
    Yozora...
[14:42] ---
    So you admit it!
[14:44] ---
    Yes, every day is your lucky one.
[14:46] ---
    Which means you've hit your luck ceiling.
[14:48] ---
    There's nowhere to go from here.
[14:50] ---
    You'll never make friends,
[14:52] ---
    your female classmates
    will hate and shun you,
[14:55] ---
    and you'll always be alone in gym class.
[14:58] ---
    When people pair up for cooking
    practice or class trips,
[15:01] ---
    someone will always say, "Kashiwazaki-san,
    why don't you pair with a boy? Bwahahaha,"
[15:04] ---
    ruining your memories.
[15:06] ---
    Yes, your current circumstances are the
    most happiness life will allow you!
[15:11] ---
    H-How could you say that?!
[15:13] ---
    Sena-sempai, keep doing
    your best in life, okay?
[15:16] ---
    I feel sorry for Sena-anego.
[15:19] ---
    Not you, too!
[15:22] ---
    Do your best!
[15:24] ---
    Still, the fortune-telling idea isn't bad.
[15:27] ---
    Do you believe in fortune-telling, Yozora?
[15:30] ---
    Of course not.
[15:32] ---
    For three months in middle school,
[15:35] ---
    each day I checked every fortune I could,
[15:37] ---
    on TV, in newspapers, in
    magazines, everywhere,
[15:40] ---
    and also recorded in detail everything
    that happened to me that day.
[15:43] ---
    Then I objectively assessed my luck,
[15:47] ---
    tallied it against all the fortunes,
    and collected the statistics.
[15:50] ---
    Not a single fortune had an
    accuracy rate higher than 7%.
[15:55] ---
    Therefore, I decided not to
    believe in fortune-telling!
[15:58] ---
    When you go that far, you
    actually seem fortune-obsessed.
[16:02] ---
    More like, are you still agreeing
    to the booth after all that?
[16:07] ---
    All we have to do is make
    up a bunch of random crap,
[16:11] ---
    and we can fleece real-lifers unintelligent
    enough to take fortune-telling seriously.
[16:16] ---
    What business could be pleasanter?
[16:18] ---
    Cruel...
[16:20] ---
    You're a real witch, aren't you?
[16:22] ---
    You are way extreme.
[16:25] ---
    Meat. I'll read *your
    *fortune as an experiment.
[16:29] ---
    M-Me?!
[16:35] ---
    Yes, I see it.
[16:38] ---
    S-See what?
[16:39] ---
    Something is troubling
    thee right now, is it not?
[16:43] ---
    Huh? Troubling me?
[16:44] ---
    "Thee"?
[16:45] ---
    Something to do with thy relationships.
[16:49] ---
    Relationships? N-Now that you mention it...
[16:52] ---
    I thought so.
[16:54] ---
    Thou art giving off a faint purple mist.
[16:59] ---
    This symbolizeth unease.
[17:01] ---
    I can tell from the shape of the mist
    that relationships are the root.
[17:05] ---
    Wow, you're totally right!
[17:07] ---
    I see and know all.
[17:10] ---
    Yes, thou generally thinkest
    in a positive manner,
[17:15] ---
    but occasionally thou feelest
    regret, dost thou not?
[17:17] ---
    You can tell?!
[17:19] ---
    Sena-sempai...
[17:21] ---
    Thou also hast certain gifts
    beyond what others have,
[17:26] ---
    yet I warrant that thou art often vexed
[17:28] ---
    at not being able to fully express them.
[17:31] ---
    Though thou hast an optimistic side,
[17:34] ---
    sometimes thou waverest about thy
    actions and decisions, growing worried.
[17:39] ---
    And while thou art fundamentally cheerful,
[17:42] ---
    thou also hast a lonely side.
[17:45] ---
    Why? Why do you know that?!
[17:48] ---
    Hey, what's the name for
    this kind of thing, again?
[17:52] ---
    The "Barnum effect."
[17:54] ---
    "Something about your
    friendships is troubling"
[17:54] ---
    It's a phenomenon where the subject,
[17:55] ---
    "You appear confident, but harbor unease"
[17:56] ---
    when told general things
[17:57] ---
    "You have little troubles
    in your school life"
[17:58] ---
    that could apply to anyone,
[17:58] ---
    "You've been worried about your weight"
[17:59] ---
    takes them to be an accurate
    personal diagnosis.
[18:00] ---
    "Do you think you're a romantic?"
[18:01] ---
    "Are you waiting for a fateful encounter?"
[18:03] ---
    Wow, you're dead-on!
[18:05] ---
    I didn't realize you understood
    me so well, Yozora.
[18:09] ---
    Aw, that makes me a little happy...
[18:13] ---
    She fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
[18:15] ---
    Yep.
[18:16] ---
    I'm willing to tell thee
    a way to improve the life
[18:19] ---
    of a sweet yet awkward person like thyself.
[18:23] ---
    Really?! Tell me, tell me!
[18:25] ---
    Tonight at midnight on the dot,
[18:28] ---
    go to the roof and balance
    a bowl of water on thy head,
[18:31] ---
    turning around three times
    while giving an eerie shriek,
[18:34] ---
    and then shout "Sexy Beam!" loud
    enough for the whole house to hear.
[18:39] ---
    If the water doth not spill, thou
    shalt attain the moon's blessing,
[18:42] ---
    and thy life shall be
    visited by great fortune!
[18:47] ---
    Got it! Thanks, Yozora!
    I've been wrong about you!
[18:52] ---
    I-I... wish for... thy... happiness...
[19:09] ---
    Sena?
[19:09] ---
    "Daddy spanked me so hard... But I
    don't mind, if it's for my happiness!"
[19:16] ---
    Sexy Beam!
[19:18] ---
    Don't tell me she actually did it?!
[19:22] ---
    "Google 'Barnum effect.'"
[19:26] ---
    Yooozooooraaaaa!
[19:31] ---
    What do you want, Meat?
[19:32] ---
    Don't--
[19:37] ---
    Don't "what do you want"
    me, you rotten vixen!
[19:40] ---
    How dare you trick me!
[19:41] ---
    Trick you? Whatever do you mean?
[19:44] ---
    That fortune-telling yesterday!
[19:45] ---
    You made up that awful lie, and I... I...
[19:50] ---
    Hey, don't feel so down.
[19:53] ---
    The President yells at you for
    dumb stuff you do all the ti--
[19:57] ---
    That's not the issue!
[19:58] ---
    Yesterday I actually felt... kind of happy...
[20:04] ---
    You're just... you're really just...
[20:10] ---
    Moron! Moron, moron, moron!
[20:14] ---
    You're a moron, Yozora!
[20:22] ---
    Come on, how about we
    all go to the club room?
[20:27] ---
    Hiya...
[20:30] ---
    I've been waiting for you, my other half.
[20:32] ---
    Hi, Koba--
[20:33] ---
    Kobato-chan's here!
[20:35] ---
    Yay! Long time no see, Kobato-chan!
[20:38] ---
    So, why are you here today, huh?
[20:41] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan, you're a total angel!
[20:45] ---
    Your angelic-ness is the best in the world!
[20:47] ---
    Bro!
[20:48] ---
    Ow...
[20:53] ---
    What is it, Kodaka?
[20:54] ---
    Nah, never mind.
[20:57] ---
    I'm so lucky today, getting
    to see you, Kobato-chan!
[21:00] ---
    It seems good fortune has visited you.
[21:04] ---
    You're right! I really have
    been visited by good fortune!
[21:06] ---
    I've been visited by Kobato-chan!
[21:10] ---
    Look, she's just back in the club because
    her make-up classes are over, okay?
[21:15] ---
    Y-Yes, you're right.
[21:18] ---
    It's got nothing to do
    with Yozora's fake magic.
[21:21] ---
    How can you be so sure?
[21:24] ---
    You're really unlikable, you know that?
[21:26] ---
    B-But, well, I'll forgive you this
    time, in deference to Kobato-chan.
[21:31] ---
    Hmph! Don't get a big head, Spoiled Meat.
[21:40] ---
    Welcome back, Kobato.
[21:45] ---
    So, are we doing the fortune-telling
    booth for the festival, then?
[21:50] ---
    Rika brought reference books, just in case.
[21:55] ---
    I suppose we'll defer the
    fortune-telling decision.
[21:57] ---
    Yeah.
[21:59] ---
    "Feudal Generals Fortune-Telling"
[22:02] ---
    "Birthday Fortune-Telling"...
[22:04] ---
    Come to think of it, Kobato's
    birthday is next week, huh?
[22:07] ---
    Kobato-chan's birthday?!
[22:09] ---
    Y-Yeah... October 18th...
[22:11] ---
    Then we have to celebrate!
[22:14] ---
    We're giving Kobato-chan a birthday party!
[22:40] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:02] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:52] ---
    At last I have returned victorious
    from my long and brutal death match!
[23:56] ---
    'Grats on finishing the make-up
    work. Now study every day
[23:59] ---
    so you don't fail the next exam!
[24:02] ---
    I-I only failed that one because the
    akashic records happened to malfunction.
[24:07] ---
    Do--your--studying!
[24:09] ---
    Okay.
[24:11] ---
    Next time: "He's My Brother,
    But As Long As There's Love,
[24:14] ---
    It Doesn't Matter If He
    Gets More Sisters, Right?"
[24:16] ---
    I-It does too matter, jerk!
[24:19] ---
    

Season 2

20 - He's My Brother, But As Long As There's Love, It Doesn't Matter If He Gets More Sisters, Right?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:20] ---
    From Sena?
[00:21] ---
    Okay...
[00:23] ---
    "About the Kobato-mas party!
[00:26] ---
    We're going to Nagaya together
    on Sunday to buy her presents!"
[00:32] ---
    Sunday, huh? Well, I don't
    have anything planned...
[00:36] ---
    "OK. We'll meet Sunday at 1:00 in
    the waiting area at Toya Station."
[00:44] ---
    "Shiguma Rika"
[00:45] ---
    "Aaah!
[00:46] ---
    Rika feels Eros coming from the
    quietly towering telephone poles!
[00:50] ---
    She wants to be tied up!
    She wants to do the deed!
[00:53] ---
    But when she thinks about it, being
    taken from behind could work too!"
[00:58] ---
    "Shut. Up."
[01:00] ---
    "Read it vertically!"
[01:02] ---
    Vertically?
[01:04] ---
    "Let's--go on--a date--tomorrow."
[01:10] ---
    "No."
[01:11] ---
    "Please! I want you to help me pick
    out a present for Kobato-san."
[01:16] ---
    Then just write that.
[01:19] ---
    "For the esteemed Mr. Hasegawa Kodaka.
[01:23] ---
    Dear Mr. Hasegawa Kodaka,
[01:26] ---
    I hope you are well during
    this pleasant fall season.
[01:33] ---
    Please forgive me for the
    suddenness of this letter.
[01:38] ---
    I'm terribly sorry to trouble you
    when you are surely very busy,
[01:41] ---
    but I take pen in hand now because there
    is something I feel I must ask you.
[01:48] ---
    I shall make so bold as to
    come straight to the point.
[01:53] ---
    What should I give to your honored sister?
[01:57] ---
    With my best wishes for your health and--"
[02:00] ---
    That opening was too long!
[02:04] ---
    "Don't worry if you're busy or whatever.
[02:06] ---
    I want you to help pick
    a present for your sis.
[02:08] ---
    You, too?
[02:09] ---
    Tomorrow would be best since
    there's not much time,
[02:12] ---
    but whatever, I don't need you to be there,
[02:14] ---
    And it's gratuitously long...
[02:16] ---
    so don't worry if you're busy or whatever.
[02:17] ---
    More like, why all the "whatever"s?
[02:17] ---
    It's not like I can't pick
    a present or whatever."
[02:21] ---
    Eh, fine.
[02:31] ---
    Yo.
[02:33] ---
    The train bound for Nagaya is
    approaching platform three.
[02:34] ---
    Looks like everybody's here.
[02:36] ---
    Please stay behind the line for your safety.
[02:37] ---
    Okay, let's go, I guess.
[02:55] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:56] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[02:59] ---
    Be My Side
[03:00] ---
    But I saw right through you
[03:02] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[03:06] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[03:14] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[03:15] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[03:20] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[03:28] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[03:35] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[03:42] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:43] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[03:45] ---
    Be My Side
[03:46] ---
    But I saw right through you
[03:48] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[03:53] ---
    So I can take your hand
[03:55] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:56] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[03:58] ---
    Be My Side
[03:59] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[04:02] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[04:06] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[04:13] ---
    "He's My Brother, But As Long As There's Love,
    It Doesn't Matter If He Gets More Sisters, Right?"
[04:15] ---
    You sit too, Yozora. Over here.
[04:17] ---
    I don't care about sitting!
[04:19] ---
    What are Meat and the others doing here?!
[04:21] ---
    Oh, sorry, I guess I forgot to tell you.
[04:25] ---
    We're all buying Kobato a present,
[04:28] ---
    so bringing people isn't a problem, right?
[04:30] ---
    Sure, but this doesn't sit right with me.
[04:33] ---
    Especially the part where you really
    don't seem to think anything of it.
[04:36] ---
    What did I do?
[04:38] ---
    Forget it, idiot!
[04:39] ---
    Rika had a feeling this might happen...
[04:43] ---
    We must know when we're beaten, everyone.
[04:45] ---
    I quite agree, Rika-dono.
[04:48] ---
    Rika wonders: is this obliviousness real?
[04:52] ---
    Or has he deliberately
    embraced obliviousness?
[04:56] ---
    Rika?
[04:57] ---
    Oh, it's nothing! Rika simply thought,
    "He's as fascinating as ever."
[05:01] ---
    Excuse me?
[05:02] ---
    And are you wearing the
    uniform and lab coat again?
[05:05] ---
    Is there something strange about that?
[05:07] ---
    You're obsessed with your hair lately,
    but you don't care about your clothes.
[05:11] ---
    It's majorly weird.
[05:13] ---
    I mean, today you randomly got highlights
    to make your hair look fuller.
[05:17] ---
    R-Rika didn't expect you to notice so much.
[05:19] ---
    Not bad, Sempai.
[05:22] ---
    But Rika feels like there isn't much
    point in worrying about her clothes.
[05:26] ---
    It's not like her efforts would help, since
    you ignore her even when she's stripping...
[05:30] ---
    But Rika's cute on the outside,
[05:32] ---
    so I think cute clothes would look
    as good on her as anyone else...
[05:38] ---
    Huh? Wait, did I say that out loud again?
[05:40] ---
    Yes, loud and clear!
[05:43] ---
    By the way, Sena-sempai.
[05:45] ---
    What?
[05:46] ---
    Rika thought she'd look at some
    clothes, since we're shopping.
[05:49] ---
    Do you have any stores you recommend?
[05:52] ---
    Y-You want my recommendations?
[05:54] ---
    Yes! You're stylish, so Rika
    would like to learn from you.
[05:58] ---
    Um... I-I don't go to Nagaya that often,
[06:03] ---
    and I usually use posh name-brand shops
    near my house, so I can't really...
[06:07] ---
    There's nothing near your house
    but mountains and rice fields.
[06:11] ---
    Sena-sempai...
[06:12] ---
    Sena-anego...
[06:16] ---
    I'm sorry. I lied. I have
    Stella buy all my clothes,
[06:20] ---
    and she does my hair and makeup, too.
[06:23] ---
    What was that for?! You're pissing me off!
[06:26] ---
    A femininity power of
    just 5, huh? What trash.
[06:29] ---
    A Scouter?
[06:30] ---
    While we're at it, where do
    you buy yours, Yozora-sempai?
[06:33] ---
    On the internet.
[06:34] ---
    I find a model in a fashion
    magazine or the store site
[06:38] ---
    and just buy her whole outfit.
[06:39] ---
    Rika is jealous that you look good
    dressed straight out of a fashion mag!
[06:44] ---
    You're ultra-cute today, too.
[06:46] ---
    "Cute," you say?!
[06:48] ---
    Yep! Very feminine, very sexy-cute.
[06:52] ---
    "Feminine"?
[06:54] ---
    "Sexy... cute"...?
[07:01] ---
    Y-Yeah.
[07:02] ---
    That can't be! This was in the "How
    to Rock the Boyish Look" section!
[07:07] ---
    Yozora-sempai...
[07:08] ---
    Listen, Yozora, a "boyish" look
    doesn't actually equal a mannish one.
[07:17] ---
    It's just a technique to draw
    out your girlish cuteness
[07:20] ---
    by mixing in some pieces
    with an androgynous feel.
[07:23] ---
    More like, anyone paying attention to
    the outside world would notice that!
[07:26] ---
    Not a lot of men walk around exposing
    their thighs and belly buttons!
[07:31] ---
    But... I've never cared how
    any other man dresses...
[07:35] ---
    Huh?
[07:36] ---
    N-Nothing!
[07:46] ---
    I'm going to do some other shopping.
    Kodaka, you can't come with me!
[07:50] ---
    That's fine, but will you
    be okay in the crowds?
[07:52] ---
    Rika will come with you.
[07:55] ---
    I see...
[07:57] ---
    Yukimura, would you mind going
    with Yozora and Rika in my place?
[08:01] ---
    Look after them so they don't collapse
    when they're surrounded by people.
[08:04] ---
    Yes, Aniki. Leave it to me.
[08:08] ---
    We'll be going, then.
[08:10] ---
    Okay, thanks.
[08:13] ---
    So, how about the two of us
    just kind of look around?
[08:20] ---
    Yeah!
[08:26] ---
    Hey, Kodaka, what kind of present would
    up my approval rating with Kobato-chan?
[08:31] ---
    Probably FMN goods, right?
[08:33] ---
    Well, she's pretty much got
    everything she wants already...
[08:36] ---
    Oh, and please don't get
    anything too expensive.
[08:40] ---
    Huh. You're a surprisingly
    responsible guardian.
[08:45] ---
    What would be good, then?
[08:47] ---
    What about something you'd like?
[08:50] ---
    That would be Kobato-chan, of course!
[08:52] ---
    You can't have her!
[08:54] ---
    Hey, I just found something that
    Kobato-chan would 100% like.
[08:58] ---
    What?
[08:59] ---
    Meat.
[09:01] ---
    Not Meat as in you, meat as in food!
[09:03] ---
    I know that, sheesh.
[09:06] ---
    She loves anything with meat in it,
[09:08] ---
    so she's sure to like
    it if you give her meat.
[09:10] ---
    But raw food is a questionable
    choice for a birthday present.
[09:15] ---
    I can't believe Sena just
    corrected my common sense...
[09:18] ---
    Well, let's save that for a last
    resort, and keep looking a little--
[09:22] ---
    Wh-Whoa, wait a second!
[09:24] ---
    What is it?
[09:25] ---
    Th-This is...
[09:29] ---
    Honestly, why should I have to keep
    you company shopping for a whole hour?
[09:34] ---
    Normally it's the opposite!
[09:36] ---
    I'm sorry.
[09:37] ---
    And I don't see what's so fun
    about looking at frying pans.
[09:40] ---
    Whoa, there, D-fol pans aren't just any pans!
[09:44] ---
    And I'll tell you exactly why!
[09:45] ---
    Not necessary.
[09:50] ---
    You really are sort of weird, aren't you?
[09:54] ---
    What's wrong with liking cookware?
[09:56] ---
    It's not like that's your only issue, idiot.
[10:00] ---
    Anyway, Yozora and the others
    are taking forever...
[10:02] ---
    Girls always take forever to shop.
[10:06] ---
    That's what gal games say.
[10:08] ---
    You learned that from a game?
[10:11] ---
    Say, what do you think of
    Yozora and Rika and Yukimura?
[10:16] ---
    What do you mean?
[10:20] ---
    Jeez, you're just so... Oh, never mind.
[10:25] ---
    So, don't you want a girlfriend or anything?
[10:28] ---
    I guess I don't not want one...
[10:31] ---
    That's not very definite.
[10:33] ---
    Well, for now my goal is friends.
[10:36] ---
    A boring guy with no friends can't
    get a girlfriend anyway, right?
[10:42] ---
    I don't think that's true.
[10:45] ---
    Hmm?
[10:45] ---
    Jeez, you're just so...
[10:48] ---
    Oh, never mind!
[10:51] ---
    Why do you keep saying that?
[10:54] ---
    Oh, right, Sena--
[10:56] ---
    Um... Wh-What do you think about the fact
    that Yozora and I used to be friends?
[11:03] ---
    Hmm...
[11:05] ---
    I guess I panicked a little
    when I first found out,
[11:09] ---
    but when I thought it over, I
    figured it doesn't matter much.
[11:12] ---
    D-Doesn't matter?
[11:14] ---
    I mean, it's in the past, right?
[11:16] ---
    What's important is the present.
[11:19] ---
    Maybe so.
[11:21] ---
    Well, not that I know what
    Yozora's intentions are.
[11:25] ---
    About what?
[11:26] ---
    Nothing.
[11:28] ---
    I'm just saying I don't
    think I'll lose, that's all.
[11:34] ---
    Also, Kodaka--and this is important,
    so make sure you remember it.
[11:41] ---
    Anybody I like obviously can't be boring!
[11:50] ---
    Wh-What do you think, Kodaka-sempai?
[11:52] ---
    I bought exactly what the clerk recommended.
[11:55] ---
    Um, well, it's... It's like, "Huh,
    Rika pulls it off when she tries."
[12:00] ---
    Rika will choose to take
    that as a compliment.
[12:05] ---
    What do you think of me? I
    received these from Yozora*-anego.*
[12:10] ---
    Whoa, Yukimura, not bad!
[12:13] ---
    E-Er, they look nice on you.
[12:16] ---
    Thank you, Aniki.
[12:18] ---
    And then there's...
[12:20] ---
    Look, you...
[12:23] ---
    You're... you're just
    so... I can't believe you!
[12:27] ---
    Shut up, Meat. I don't
    feel good, so keep quiet.
[12:31] ---
    A track suit...
[12:32] ---
    I found it at a sports store.
    What's wrong with it?
[12:36] ---
    Anyway, this neighborhood isn't for me.
[12:39] ---
    I'll grab a present from
    a store near my place.
[12:42] ---
    Huh?!
[12:43] ---
    Rika's sorry, but she
    wants to go home now too.
[12:46] ---
    Excuse me?!
[12:47] ---
    Sorry, Sena, but my bags are heavy and
    I don't want to walk around with them.
[12:50] ---
    H-Hey!
[12:52] ---
    I shall accompany you, Aniki.
[12:53] ---
    Jeez, you're all so... Why
    are you all such sad cases?!
[12:58] ---
    "King" "Horse"
[13:05] ---
    Yep, perfect! I'm amazing.
[13:08] ---
    But this whole thing is a little lame
    for Kobato-chan's birthday party.
[13:14] ---
    Well, we don't actually know what
    a normal birthday party looks like.
[13:18] ---
    I figure it's about right.
[13:19] ---
    Incidentally, Aniki, what should
    one do at a birthday party?
[13:24] ---
    Hmm, hand over presents and eat cake, right?
[13:28] ---
    But then what do you do?
[13:30] ---
    Perhaps everyone plays a game after that.
[13:33] ---
    We don't have any besides Meat's gal
    games and Rika's computer games.
[13:37] ---
    Doing that as a group doesn't sound fun...
[13:37] ---
    Oh, please. Sheesh, is she nervous?
[13:39] ---
    Rika supposes we should've prepared a game.
[13:42] ---
    She doesn't have any analog
    games in her lab...
[13:45] ---
    Then we'll go to the nearest toy
    store and buy one. Like Twister!
[13:49] ---
    Why Twister?
[13:53] ---
    If you're already at the door,
    you should just get in here!
[14:00] ---
    Happy birthday, Kobato-chan!
[14:06] ---
    I thought I should try popping mine.
[14:08] ---
    Okay, then!
[14:11] ---
    What is this?
[14:13] ---
    Now, Kobato-chan, you sit here!
[14:15] ---
    It's cake time! And... ta-da!
[14:20] ---
    Well? Do you like it, Kobato-chan?!
[14:24] ---
    You always have to go a
    step too far, don't you?
[14:28] ---
    What's your problem?! That
    cake is too lovely for words!
[14:37] ---
    ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[14:41] ---
    ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[14:45] ---
    ♪ Happy birthday dear ♪
[14:48] ---
    ♪ Kodaka's little sister ♪
[14:48] ---
    ♪ Kobato ♪
[14:50] ---
    Come on, guys, get that in synch.
[14:52] ---
    ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
[14:59] ---
    Go on, Kobato, blow out the candles.
[15:03] ---
    Uh-huh.
[15:09] ---
    Congratulations, Kobato-chan!
[15:10] ---
    Good job!
[15:14] ---
    Hey, what was that for?!
[15:15] ---
    Whoops, my hand slipped.
[15:17] ---
    Here, Sempai, say "ah"!
[15:24] ---
    These things smell nice.
[15:27] ---
    It's a talisman.
[15:36] ---
    Jeez, so you got meat after all?
[15:38] ---
    Shut up, you! I thought you
    might want to eat some too...
[15:41] ---
    Meat, that's just too masochistic.
[15:43] ---
    Isn't that great, Kobato?
    We're having sukiyaki tonight!
[15:48] ---
    Enjoy it as if it were me, okay?
[15:50] ---
    No!
[15:54] ---
    Sukiyaki!
[15:56] ---
    Well, somebody's in a good mood.
[15:59] ---
    Today is a good day!
[16:04] ---
    Okay, I'm going to buy ingredients,
    so you go home ahead of me.
[16:08] ---
    Come home quickly, my kin.
[16:16] ---
    Hey!
[16:17] ---
    Geh, Big Brother! What are you doing here?!
[16:20] ---
    Excuse me? That's my house.
    What are you doing?
[16:23] ---
    I was only trying to sneak a peek inside.
[16:27] ---
    Is that a no-no, Big Brother?
[16:28] ---
    It's a no-no. And why do you
    want to see inside, anyway?
[16:32] ---
    Big Brother is home!
[16:34] ---
    Hi, Maria, I didn't know you were here.
[16:36] ---
    Did you get Kate to bring you?
[16:38] ---
    Yep. This is the one thing
    that hag is good for--
[16:42] ---
    Hey, what are you still doing here, hag?!
[16:44] ---
    You brat, before I brought
    you here, didn't you say
[16:47] ---
    "I'll be grateful forever, Big Sister!"?!
[16:49] ---
    So what was that just now?!
[16:51] ---
    Um, er... Shut up, crappy old hag!
[16:56] ---
    Honestly, what a problem child.
[16:58] ---
    Says the girl who was worried
    enough to spy on her.
[17:02] ---
    Well, how about you join us for
    sukiyaki, since you're here?
[17:05] ---
    Sukiyaki?! Can I really?!
[17:07] ---
    Y-Yeah...
[17:10] ---
    My beautiful day has turned poopy.
[17:14] ---
    So you're Kobato-chan, Big
    Brother's real-life sister, eh?
[17:18] ---
    "Big Brother"?
[17:20] ---
    That's what my sister Maria calls him.
[17:23] ---
    If he's Maria's big brother,
[17:24] ---
    and I'm her sister, and
    I'm younger than he is,
[17:28] ---
    then he's my big brother too.
[17:30] ---
    Gah!
[17:31] ---
    What's wrong?
[17:32] ---
    Bro! Why?! Why do you keep getting
    more little sisters, you big dummy?!
[17:39] ---
    Hey, calm down! I didn't adopt them;
    they just decided to call me that.
[17:44] ---
    Say, why did Maria come over all of a sudden?
[17:48] ---
    She said she had to talk to Kobato-chan.
[17:51] ---
    What business does that foolish minion of God
[17:53] ---
    have with me, the great ruler of the night?
[17:56] ---
    What just happened to Kobato-chan?
[17:58] ---
    Do me a favor and just let it go.
[18:00] ---
    O-Okay...
[18:02] ---
    Hey, Maria, hurry up and give
    Kobato-chan your present!
[18:06] ---
    Present?
[18:08] ---
    Gah! Why did you tell her,
    you poopy crappy hag?!
[18:11] ---
    What's the big deal?
[18:15] ---
    I'm generously giving you
    a present, so be grateful.
[18:19] ---
    B-Birthdays are important,
[18:22] ---
    so I'll give it to you even
    though you're a poopy vampire.
[18:31] ---
    You're an evil being, after all!
[18:34] ---
    You should let its divine power help you
    mend your ways and become a good girl!
[18:39] ---
    Foolish holy woman. Divine
    powers don't work on me!
[18:43] ---
    How dare you! Repent, you evil poopy vampire!
[18:46] ---
    Whatever you say, it still won't work!
[18:48] ---
    Ow, that hurt!
[18:49] ---
    Dummy!
[18:50] ---
    Come on, sukiyaki time.
[18:53] ---
    "Sukiyaki"? I know what that is!
    It's that tasty-sounding thing!
[18:57] ---
    Yay! I'll help set the table!
[19:01] ---
    Say thank you for the present, Kobato.
[19:05] ---
    Tha... Th-Thank... you.
[19:10] ---
    Huh? Did you say something?
[19:12] ---
    N-Never mind, you dummy!
[19:14] ---
    What, you poopy vampire?!
[19:16] ---
    Dummy! Jerk!
[19:18] ---
    Poopy vampire!
[19:21] ---
    You worked hard, Big Brother.
[19:23] ---
    I only got two pieces of meat!
    And there were two whole kilos...
[19:28] ---
    Those girls really ate a lot, huh?
[19:30] ---
    So did you.
[19:32] ---
    I'm so stuffed, I feel sleepy.
[19:35] ---
    Big Brother, can we stay the night?
[19:38] ---
    Fine with me.
[19:39] ---
    Really?!
[19:41] ---
    Thank--
[19:43] ---
    Are you really fifteen?
[19:45] ---
    I turned sixteen a while
    back. And check this out.
[19:49] ---
    Maria gave it to me for my birthday.
[19:51] ---
    Huh, a locket?
[19:54] ---
    What is this?
[19:55] ---
    Maria gave me the cicada shell, and I
    got someone I know to make this for me.
[20:00] ---
    But Kobato-chan's matches hers...
[20:06] ---
    You've got a tough time, huh?
[20:08] ---
    I'm a big sister; it
    comes with the territory.
[20:12] ---
    Maria! We're staying here for the night.
[20:16] ---
    Come on, let's take a bath.
[20:18] ---
    I'll have mine with Big Brother...
[20:19] ---
    Idiot! I'm gonna wash you, be grateful!
[20:22] ---
    No! Lemme go, you poopy hag! Poopy!
[20:24] ---
    Oh, I'll get some sleep clothes for you.
[20:28] ---
    Let me go, poopy hag!
[20:30] ---
    Hey! Settle down!
[20:33] ---
    Wait, where did Kobato go?
[20:42] ---
    Kobato...?
[20:50] ---
    Big Brother, you perv!
[20:52] ---
    I-I'm sorry!
[20:58] ---
    Care to justify yourself?
[21:01] ---
    I'm sorry.
[21:02] ---
    Okay, I forgive you.
[21:03] ---
    Huh? Are you sure?
[21:06] ---
    You didn't actually peek on purpose, did you?
[21:08] ---
    O-Of course I didn't!
[21:10] ---
    So what good would it do to blame you?
[21:13] ---
    Plus, the fact that you don't give
    excuses makes a good impression.
[21:17] ---
    W-Well, because it's true
    that I did something bad.
[21:20] ---
    You really are a good person.
[21:23] ---
    I can see why Pegasus-san likes you.
[21:25] ---
    Are you friends with the President?
[21:28] ---
    He and I are fishing buddies.
    We especially like ayu fishing.
[21:33] ---
    Huh, that's kind of surprising.
[21:35] ---
    You come along sometime!
[21:38] ---
    Okay, got it.
[21:47] ---
    Okay, see you later, Big Brother.
[21:49] ---
    Yeah, see you at school.
[21:51] ---
    Sheesh, I wish you really were our brother.
[21:56] ---
    Or...
[21:58] ---
    Or something even more than that.
[22:01] ---
    Personally, I think that might be nice.
[22:04] ---
    But you've got Sena-*san,
    *so I guess that's out...
[22:07] ---
    O-Okay, later!
[22:13] ---
    It wasn't long at all before I
    learned what Kate's words meant.
[22:40] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:49] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:13] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:19] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:32] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:42] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:51] ---
    Man, that was tasty! Okay,
    let's go home and sleep.
[23:54] ---
    Hey! Do the preview like
    you're supposed to, hag!
[23:56] ---
    Oh, fine. Next time: "My Childhood
    Friend Is Too Much of a Battleground."
[24:00] ---
    Big Brother is really an adult
    if he has a childhood friend!
[24:04] ---
    I want one too!
[24:06] ---
    You're still in your childhood!
[24:08] ---
    I bet in another five years, Kobato-*chan
    *could be your childhood friend.
[24:12] ---
    I don't want a poopy vampire
    for a childhood friend!
[24:15] ---
    She'll stay my enemy forever!
[24:18] ---
    Okay, okay.
[24:20] ---
    

Season 2

21 - My Childhood Friend is Too Much of a Battleground

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    Thank you!
[00:13] ---
    Where did that come from?
[00:15] ---
    Kobato liked yesterday's birthday
    party, and it also made me... um...
[00:21] ---
    Really happy.
[00:23] ---
    So thank you!
[00:25] ---
    Qu-Quit saying that embarrassing stuff!
[00:27] ---
    Don't call it embarrassing.
[00:29] ---
    Ahem. Well, um... This "birthday party"
    thing turned out to be pretty nice.
[00:36] ---
    Let's all do our best to make friends
    we can celebrate birthdays with!
[00:40] ---
    Yeah! This made me realize all over
    again how cool it is to have friends.
[00:45] ---
    Let's seriously do this!
[00:47] ---
    That's been my plan all along.
[00:50] ---
    Your wish, Aniki.
[00:54] ---
    What's with you, Rika?
[00:58] ---
    All right, then, let's keep
    working on the school festival!
[01:01] ---
    Right, Kodaka-sempai?
[01:03] ---
    Y-Yeah, you're right...
[01:08] ---
    At this point I wasn't
    prepared to face things yet.
[01:11] ---
    Even though deep down, I knew
    what Rika was trying to say...
[01:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:33] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:36] ---
    Be My Side
[01:37] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:39] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:43] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[01:51] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:52] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[01:57] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[02:05] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[02:12] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[02:19] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:20] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:22] ---
    Be My Side
[02:23] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:25] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:30] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[02:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:33] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[02:35] ---
    Be My Side
[02:36] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[02:39] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[02:43] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[02:50] ---
    "My Childhood Friend Is Too
    Much of a Battleground"
[02:52] ---
    Yo.
[02:53] ---
    Yahoo! Kobato-chan is seriously an angel!
[02:56] ---
    Let me lick you up, Kobato-chan! Lick, lick--
[03:04] ---
    "School Festival Ideas:"
[03:09] ---
    "Cat café"
[03:10] ---
    What is a "cat café"?
[03:12] ---
    You don't know?
[03:14] ---
    It's a café where you can play
    with cats as you drink your tea.
[03:17] ---
    Wh-What?!
[03:19] ---
    Can such a paradise exist
    in this rotten world...?!
[03:22] ---
    I don't want to do an
    exhibit for the club too.
[03:25] ---
    Oh, yeah, you said you were
    doing one for your class.
[03:28] ---
    "The History of Toya City," ri--
[03:29] ---
    That's right!
[03:30] ---
    I suggested "The All-Knowing, Almighty
    Goddess Kashiwazaki Sena Feature,"
[03:34] ---
    but the girls were all bitterly against me.
[03:37] ---
    It's pissing me off just
    remembering those dumb girls!
[03:40] ---
    Leaving Meat's idiocy aside, an exhibit
    doesn't seem fun, so let's not.
[03:45] ---
    And then... Take that!
[03:46] ---
    "Comedy routine"
[03:47] ---
    Hey, wait! That's the best pick!
[03:50] ---
    Sure, for erasing.
[03:52] ---
    It's the correct decision.
[03:54] ---
    I believe that was appropriate.
[03:57] ---
    Yes, she's made the right choice.
[03:59] ---
    You guys...
[04:02] ---
    Hey, Kobato, should you be skipping
    the middle school's festival?
[04:07] ---
    Isn't your class doing anything?
[04:10] ---
    What's your class presenting?
[04:14] ---
    My kindred, you shall never find out.
[04:17] ---
    If you don't tell me, I won't
    make you any pig-bone ramen.
[04:22] ---
    You would try to threaten Raysis Vi Felicity
    Sumeragi, great ruler of the night?
[04:27] ---
    Fool...
[04:29] ---
    And I'll eat all of
    yesterday's leftover beef.
[04:31] ---
    Th-That's mean!
[04:33] ---
    Then just tell me.
[04:37] ---
    A-A movie.
[04:38] ---
    A movie?
[04:40] ---
    That sounds fun!
[04:42] ---
    A movie, eh?
[04:43] ---
    And? What will you be doing?
[04:47] ---
    That is no concern of yo--
[04:48] ---
    If you won't tell, you're
    cut off from gaming.
[04:53] ---
    ...role...
[04:54] ---
    Huh? What did you say?
[04:56] ---
    ...ng role!
[04:58] ---
    "Grole"?
[04:59] ---
    The leading role, I said! I
    gotta do the leadin' part now!
[05:04] ---
    The leading role?!
[05:05] ---
    That's amazing, Kobato!
[05:08] ---
    I want to see it! I *so
    *want to see that movie!
[05:10] ---
    Okay! Okay!
[05:12] ---
    But Kobato, if you're the lead,
    should you really be here?
[05:17] ---
    So you skipped out on them...
[05:21] ---
    Kobato. It's an honor to be
    chosen, so do a good job.
[05:26] ---
    There are people who never get picked
    to do anything in class, you know!
[05:32] ---
    Never?
[05:33] ---
    Yup.
[05:36] ---
    See? You got the chance,
    so give it a try, Kobato.
[05:40] ---
    It's a really great thing
    to have people who need you.
[05:46] ---
    Mm-hmm.
[05:46] ---
    Now that's my Raysis Vi Felicity
    Sumeragi, great ruler of the night!
[05:53] ---
    Mm-hmm!
[05:56] ---
    I shall be going, then!
[05:58] ---
    Yep, do your best.
[06:02] ---
    "School Festival Ideas"
[06:04] ---
    "Movie"
[06:04] ---
    Okay, we should make a movie, too!
[06:06] ---
    Rika saw this coming.
[06:08] ---
    I have no objection.
[06:11] ---
    Well, it was bound to happen this way.
[06:13] ---
    I agree!
[06:14] ---
    All right, it's decided.
[06:16] ---
    Excuse me...
[06:17] ---
    What is it?
[06:18] ---
    Rika is fine with the decision,
    but what will we make it about?
[06:22] ---
    Leave the screenplay to me.
[06:23] ---
    No way! If we leave it to her,
[06:26] ---
    it's 100% obvious that it'll be horrible!
[06:28] ---
    What was that, Meat? You don't
    believe in my magnificent taste?
[06:32] ---
    Of course not!
[06:34] ---
    Considering your record with
    the round-robin story...
[06:38] ---
    Anyway, rest easy. I'll
    take a lesson from my past,
[06:41] ---
    and incorporate you people's
    opinions as I write.
[06:45] ---
    So, let's get right down
    to it: any suggestions?
[06:48] ---
    No sexual assault, for starters.
[06:51] ---
    Wh-What?
[06:53] ---
    Not the right reaction.
[06:55] ---
    So she was really planning on it.
[06:57] ---
    Ba-dum! I'm gracing you with
    my presence, poopy-heads!
[07:02] ---
    Since Maria-sensei is here too,
[07:04] ---
    shall we start by pulling
    together everyone's opinions?
[07:07] ---
    Okay, does anybody have any ideas?
[07:10] ---
    How about a story about a transfer
    student who joins the class
[07:13] ---
    and is misunderstood and ostracized at first,
[07:15] ---
    but eventually becomes really popular?
[07:18] ---
    I won't play any role that's not a juicy one.
[07:21] ---
    I want to eat lots of juicy steak!
[07:24] ---
    I would like to play a samurai.
[07:26] ---
    Rika thinks a slightly daring love
    scene between two men is a must!
[07:31] ---
    Is it even possible to
    pull all that together?
[07:31] ---
    "Transfer student gets
    popular, Juicy Meat..."
[07:35] ---
    You watch: I'll make it the
    masterpiece of the century.
[07:38] ---
    Look forward to it.
[07:44] ---
    At this time of night?
[07:46] ---
    I don't need to go with anyone or whatever
    since all you do at a movie is shut up and watch,
[07:48] ---
    but I figure if you have one you want to see, I'm
    willing to go with you while I'm at it, that's all.
[07:49] ---
    If you're not interested in movies, whatever,
    I'll just go by myself, so don't worry about it."
[07:51] ---
    Her messages are always so rambling...
[07:54] ---
    But I guess it does make sense to
    study a real movie before we start.
[07:58] ---
    Okay, tomorrow the club can--
[08:01] ---
    "oh don't tell the others cuz there's
    no point in bringing a crowd"
[08:05] ---
    You typed that in a hurry, huh?
[08:07] ---
    "Don't tell the others," eh?
[08:10] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora" "Re: No
    subject" "Understate."
[08:17] ---
    Let's see...
[08:19] ---
    Kodaka!
[08:22] ---
    Whoa, don't tell me you seriously
    mean to keep up that look?!
[08:26] ---
    Of course I do.
[08:28] ---
    Let's go.
[08:34] ---
    "Cinémathèque Toya"
[08:37] ---
    So, what are we watching today?
[08:39] ---
    I haven't really picked one out.
[08:41] ---
    We'll just pick from whatever's playing.
[08:44] ---
    Isn't that pretty slapdash?
[08:46] ---
    This is how I always watch movies.
[08:52] ---
    How about this one?
[08:53] ---
    Mmmmm...
[08:55] ---
    Seems kinda unexciting.
[08:57] ---
    No good for you?
[08:58] ---
    Oh, n-no, this one's fine.
[09:02] ---
    C'est si bon!
[09:03] ---
    C'est si bon?
[09:03] ---
    C'est si bon.
[09:05] ---
    C'est si bon!
[09:05] ---
    C'est si bon, c'est si bon...
[09:15] ---
    Uh... was that useful?
[09:18] ---
    Yeah, right! Idiot! I didn't think
    it would be so disgraceful...
[09:22] ---
    Yeah...
[09:24] ---
    B-By the way, Kodaka... do you...
    want to do c-c'est si bon stuff too?
[09:31] ---
    Huh? What was that?
[09:32] ---
    N-N-Nothing!
[09:34] ---
    Okay! Let's have some tea
    while we're out and about!
[09:38] ---
    Hey, there's a café right there...
[09:41] ---
    No, there's another one I
    really need to try. Let's go!
[09:45] ---
    "Covered in Kitties!"
    "It's OK to pet us! ❤"
[09:54] ---
    Meow!
[09:57] ---
    "Meow"?
[10:06] ---
    Aw, you caught it!
[10:09] ---
    You really love cats, don't you?
[10:12] ---
    There's no such thing as
    a person who hates cats.
[10:15] ---
    Don't you have one at home?
[10:17] ---
    No, we live in an apartment.
[10:19] ---
    Oh yeah, that's right.
[10:21] ---
    But even if I weren't in an apartment,
    I doubt I'd ever get a cat.
[10:26] ---
    Huh? Why not?
[10:29] ---
    Do you remember Night?
[10:52] ---
    C'mere, Night!
[10:56] ---
    Night!
[11:01] ---
    Night!
[11:03] ---
    Night!
[11:04] ---
    Night!
[11:05] ---
    Night!
[11:08] ---
    Night!
[11:14] ---
    It's sad when someone suddenly disappears.
[11:18] ---
    I don't want us to really bond
    if they'll just make me sad.
[11:23] ---
    I'm fine with just playing together
    and not taking it too far.
[11:30] ---
    Later, Kodaka. Look forward to my script.
[11:34] ---
    Sure.
[11:37] ---
    You know, today sort of
    made me feel like that.
[11:41] ---
    "That"?
[11:42] ---
    Like things were ten years ago.
[11:46] ---
    You're right. It did feel like
    those days for me, just a little.
[11:53] ---
    Well, see you, Kodaka.
[12:00] ---
    "King" "Horse"
[12:06] ---
    The screenplay is finished!
[12:09] ---
    Frankly, I'm very pleased with
    it. Accept it with respect!
[12:12] ---
    Now we can start filming!
[12:15] ---
    Just what do you think you're doing?
[12:19] ---
    M-My name is Raysis Vi Something Something...
[12:22] ---
    You faker!
[12:29] ---
    Not half bad.
[12:30] ---
    This is way extreme.
[12:32] ---
    Did Yozora-sempai really write this?
[12:34] ---
    This is seriously good
    stuff. Are you a genius?!
[12:37] ---
    I-Is it?!
[12:39] ---
    Hmph, naturally!
[12:41] ---
    Then it's decided: this will be
    our script. Next is casting...
[12:46] ---
    The cast is already set.
[12:48] ---
    First off, I'll be the lead, Kuya.
[12:51] ---
    The transfer student, Kuya's former
    best friend Hirotaka, is Kodaka.
[12:55] ---
    O-Okay.
[12:56] ---
    Sana, the class star who opposes
    them to the end, is Meat.
[13:02] ---
    Nobuyuki, the timid boy who secretly
    admires the manly Hirotaka, is Yukimura.
[13:07] ---
    All right...
[13:08] ---
    Serika, who always plays malicious
    tricks on Kuya for being with Hirotaka,
[13:11] ---
    is Rika.
[13:13] ---
    I see...
[13:13] ---
    Mari, the little sister Kuya
    doesn't get along with, is Maria.
[13:17] ---
    Hmm... I don't really get it.
[13:20] ---
    Well? Isn't it perfect?
[13:22] ---
    Objection!
[13:23] ---
    What, Meat? Is there some sort of problem?
[13:25] ---
    How come you're the leading
    role and I'm the villain?!
[13:28] ---
    I read the script objectively
    and made the logical choice.
[13:32] ---
    In particular, Sana is gorgeous
    in appearance and the class star.
[13:36] ---
    Though it pains me to admit it, she
    obviously has a lot in common with you.
[13:39] ---
    Various circumstances have made her warped,
[13:41] ---
    but she's good at heart and
    has lots of good scenes.
[13:44] ---
    I think it's quite a juicy role.
[13:47] ---
    Now that you mention it, that might be true.
[13:50] ---
    Then we'll use this cast for--
[13:53] ---
    One moment, please!
[13:54] ---
    What, Rika? More objections?
[13:56] ---
    Rika has no problem with casting based
    on appearances and personalities.
[14:00] ---
    But if we use that logic, I
    think Kodaka-sempai is miscast.
[14:04] ---
    Me?
[14:06] ---
    Nakagawa Hirotaka is a 17-year-old boy
[14:09] ---
    with a strong sense of justice and
    an honest and stouthearted nature.
[14:13] ---
    He's a popular, sociable guy
    with a strong sense of humor.
[14:16] ---
    He's smart and athletic, and
    tall, and has manly features.
[14:19] ---
    Yep, I'm a perfect fit.
[14:21] ---
    It's obvious that Kodaka-sempai
    doesn't fit the part!
[14:25] ---
    Damn, she noticed.
[14:27] ---
    Wait, "noticed"?
[14:29] ---
    True, Hirotaka and Kodaka are
    about as different as you can get.
[14:33] ---
    Because Big Brother isn't
    cool at all on the outside!
[14:36] ---
    At all... At all?
[14:38] ---
    Yozora-sempai, why is
    Kodaka-sempai Hirotaka?
[14:41] ---
    Because...
[14:44] ---
    Kodaka was my childhood friend...
[14:49] ---
    Come to think of it, he was, wasn't he?
[14:51] ---
    Yes! Hirotaka and Kuya
    were childhood friends.
[14:54] ---
    Therefore I chose my real-life
    childhood friend Kodaka to be him.
[14:58] ---
    What's weird about that?
[14:59] ---
    I-It's not weird, but...
[15:02] ---
    That means that if you aren't Kuya,
[15:05] ---
    there ceases to be any reason for
    Kodaka-sempai to be Hirotaka, correct?
[15:09] ---
    W-Well...
[15:11] ---
    Why don't we decide on the casting by vote?
[15:14] ---
    That's a good idea.
[15:15] ---
    Don't decide that on your own!
[15:17] ---
    Oh, dear, so you're not confident
    you'll be chosen as Kuya?
[15:22] ---
    Fine. The results are obvious anyway.
[15:24] ---
    "Ballot Box"
[15:24] ---
    Excitement!
[15:29] ---
    Here are the results of the vote.
[15:34] ---
    I'm... the leading role?
[15:34] ---
    "Kuya (lead) -- Kusunoki Yukimura"
[15:38] ---
    I can't believe this.
[15:38] ---
    "Mikazuki Yozora -- Hirotaka (best friend)"
[15:40] ---
    "Sana (class boss) -- Takayama Maria"
[15:40] ---
    Yay! I'm a cool boss lady now!
[15:45] ---
    "Kashiwazaki Sena -- Serika (likes Hirotaka)"
[15:45] ---
    Wh-Why?
[15:47] ---
    Rika's playing the younger boy, then?
[15:47] ---
    "Nobuyuki (admires Hirotaka)
    -- Shiguma Rika"
[15:49] ---
    Hold on!
[15:51] ---
    Why did this happen?!
[15:51] ---
    "Hasegawa Kodaka -- Mari
    (Kuya's little sister)"
[15:53] ---
    Who picked me for the little-sister part?!
[15:59] ---
    It was you?!
[16:00] ---
    I-I thought it might be a little
    fun, so I had no choice.
[16:04] ---
    What about that gave you no choice?!
[16:06] ---
    Plus, it wasn't just me! You got two votes!
[16:10] ---
    Who's the other one?
[16:11] ---
    Me!
[16:12] ---
    Why?
[16:13] ---
    Because Big Brother is always a big brother,
[16:16] ---
    so I thought it might be a nice change
    to do a non-big-brother Big Brother!
[16:21] ---
    Hmm, our various ulterior motives turned
    this into very strange casting...
[16:27] ---
    But we can't actually do that, can we?
[16:30] ---
    Why don't we vote one more time?
[16:33] ---
    "Kuya (lead) -- Kusunoki Yukimura"
[16:37] ---
    Uh, Yukimura... Do your
    best in the lead, okay?
[16:42] ---
    Yes, I shall work hard!
[16:45] ---
    Now what do I do about my part...?
[16:49] ---
    I'll change Mari to a little brother.
    It won't harm the story any.
[16:53] ---
    What? Got a complaint?
[16:56] ---
    No, I... I'm just a little sorry.
[16:59] ---
    Excuse me?
[17:00] ---
    I-I ended up making more work for you.
[17:04] ---
    You're being creepy.
[17:05] ---
    Did you get infected by
    some kind of evil bacteria?
[17:07] ---
    You be quiet!
[17:09] ---
    This script was pretty good, so...
[17:14] ---
    Hmph! It's no trouble to change a
    sister to a brother or whatever.
[17:19] ---
    R-Really? Well, that's all right then...
[17:33] ---
    Hey, what the hell is this? It's
    a totally different story now!
[17:37] ---
    You're imagining things.
[17:38] ---
    No he's not! Who the heck
    is this "Kotaro" guy?!
[17:39] ---
    "Kotaro"
[17:41] ---
    Kuya's little brother.
[17:43] ---
    I know that. What I'm asking is,
    why are they suddenly twins?
[17:48] ---
    Mari wasn't her twin!
[17:50] ---
    And the role is substantially more
    important, too, with more screen time.
[17:54] ---
    Plus Kuya and Hirotaka are talking
    kind of coldly to each other now...
[17:58] ---
    Ah, yes. The truth is, Kuya and
    Hirotaka weren't particularly close.
[18:02] ---
    Huh? But they're best friends!
[18:04] ---
    No. To Hirotaka, Kuya was
    like a friend of a friend.
[18:09] ---
    She was always with Kotaro,
[18:11] ---
    so the three of them all ended
    up hanging out, that's all.
[18:14] ---
    Don't you feel bad for poor Kuya?
    Why not let all three be friends?
[18:18] ---
    Kodaka. A "friend of a
    friend" is not a "friend."
[18:23] ---
    What?
[18:24] ---
    Their relationship isn't a team
    of three. It's two plus one.
[18:29] ---
    Well, that sounds familiar, but...
[18:31] ---
    Hold on a second! Why make
    Kuya the odd one out, then?
[18:36] ---
    If you make it Kotaro instead, you
    don't have to change the story!
[18:39] ---
    I can't do that.
[18:40] ---
    Why not?!
[18:42] ---
    Because it's more natural for
    him to get along with Kotaro.
[18:45] ---
    I mean, Kodaka is playing Kotaro...
[18:49] ---
    Because Kodaka was your
    childhood friend, you mean?
[18:54] ---
    Precisely!
[18:56] ---
    That was forever ago. It doesn't matter now.
[19:01] ---
    What did you say, Meat?!
[19:08] ---
    Wh-Why, you...
[19:12] ---
    "D-Doesn't matter," you say?
[19:15] ---
    Yes. It doesn't matter whether you
    and Kodaka used to be friends.
[19:19] ---
    What you need to do right now is revise
    this script right, and you know it.
[19:24] ---
    How dare you! You don't know how I feel--
[19:28] ---
    I'm telling you it doesn't
    matter how you feel.
[19:30] ---
    Quit dragging the past around with
    you and do the job you have now!
[19:42] ---
    Yozora...
[19:44] ---
    You... If only you weren't
    here, I'd already be...
[19:53] ---
    Kashiwazaki Sena, you jerk!
[19:59] ---
    Hey! Yozora!
[20:05] ---
    "If only you weren't here," huh?
[20:09] ---
    I hate her, but you know,
[20:12] ---
    I've never once wished she were gone.
[20:34] ---
    Yozora?
[20:36] ---
    What is it?
[20:36] ---
    I left my bag in the club room.
[20:39] ---
    Oh.
[20:49] ---
    Kodaka, who do you want to be Hirotaka's
    old friend? Kuya or Kotaro?
[20:54] ---
    It doesn't matter which one, as
    long as the story's interesting.
[20:59] ---
    I want you to be my old friend.
[21:02] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[21:05] ---
    Which is more important to you, Kodaka?
    Our memories of ten years ago, or now?!
[21:09] ---
    I can't make a choice like that!
[21:11] ---
    You're not very clear.
[21:14] ---
    What about you, then?
[21:17] ---
    Which is more important to you,
    Yozora? Ten years ago, or now?
[21:20] ---
    Ten years ago, of course.
[21:23] ---
    Does that mean the present isn't important?
[21:30] ---
    That's a toughie.
[21:32] ---
    See?
[21:34] ---
    Yeah.
[21:37] ---
    "The Moon Rises in the Sky
    By: Mikazuki Yozora Draft 3"
[21:43] ---
    I like it!
[21:45] ---
    Hmph! This is a piece of cake for me!
[21:48] ---
    Kotaro fits right into the original
    story as a brother two years younger.
[21:54] ---
    Rika likes this one better,
    too! Good work, Yozora-sempai.
[21:59] ---
    Thank you for your hard work, Anego.
[22:01] ---
    S-Sure.
[22:04] ---
    All right, I assume there
    are no more complaints.
[22:06] ---
    So let's get down to filming this thing!
[22:09] ---
    Let's do our best.
[22:09] ---
    Yeah!
[22:10] ---
    Let us be off.
[22:11] ---
    It can't help but be a
    masterpiece, since I'm in it.
[22:14] ---
    Shut up, Meat.
[22:16] ---
    I feel like I've seen
    this somewhere before...
[22:39] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:52] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:55] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:01] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:05] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:08] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:50] ---
    Oh, mademoiselle Yozora, you look so sad!
[23:53] ---
    Oui! I think it's important for Yozora
    to be more open with her feelings!
[23:58] ---
    That's right, you must openly
    share your amour, like us!
[24:03] ---
    I je t'aime you so much, Stéphanie!
[24:06] ---
    I je t'aime you too, Jonathan!
[24:09] ---
    Next time: "Stray Cats Overheat."
[24:09] ---
    "Stray Cats Overheat"
[24:12] ---
    My loins are overheating too!
[24:16] ---
    C'est si bon! C'est si bon!

Season 2

22 - Stray Cats Overheat

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    I'm Nakagawa Hirotaka, and I
    transferred here from Tokyo.
[00:19] ---
    Nice to meet you.
[00:20] ---
    Hmph! Tokyo scum!
[00:26] ---
    Hirotaka?
[00:27] ---
    Kuya? Kuya, is that you?!
[00:30] ---
    It was a fateful reunion.
[00:35] ---
    Rika sees no problems.
[00:37] ---
    Yeah. Okay, we're good.
    Let's go to the next scene.
[00:43] ---
    Everybody ready?
[00:44] ---
    Okay here!
[00:46] ---
    This is heavy.
[00:47] ---
    Okay, lights--camera--action!
[00:47] ---
    "The Moon Rises in the Sky"
[00:53] ---
    You've got some nerve!
[00:55] ---
    H-How dare you?
[00:57] ---
    How dare you say "how dare you"?!
[00:58] ---
    Cut!
[01:00] ---
    Right, the next one is...
[01:04] ---
    Yozora-sempai.
[01:06] ---
    The sun is setting.
[01:08] ---
    Anything else we shoot now
    won't match our other footage.
[01:12] ---
    That's that, then.
[01:14] ---
    Okay, we'll pick it up tomorrow!
[01:16] ---
    Meet in the club room after school!
[01:18] ---
    We're running low on time, so don't be late!
[01:21] ---
    Okay...
[01:22] ---
    I can't hear you!
[01:24] ---
    Okay!
[01:40] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:41] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:44] ---
    Be My Side
[01:45] ---
    But I saw right through you
[01:47] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[01:51] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[01:59] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:00] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[02:05] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[02:13] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[02:20] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[02:27] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:28] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[02:30] ---
    Be My Side
[02:31] ---
    But I saw right through you
[02:33] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[02:38] ---
    So I can take your hand
[02:40] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:41] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[02:43] ---
    Be My Side
[02:44] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[02:47] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[02:51] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[02:58] ---
    "Stray Cats Overheat"
[03:04] ---
    No scenes with Kotaro today either, huh?
[03:08] ---
    It's kind of a shame...
[03:10] ---
    But being part of the crew is more fun
    than I thought, so I guess it's okay.
[03:17] ---
    Oh, those must be the score
    rankings from finals.
[03:25] ---
    895 out of 900?!
[03:29] ---
    How does anyone even get a score like that?
[03:32] ---
    And Yozora's first in our class, too...
[03:36] ---
    Grrrrrr... Grrrrrr....
[03:39] ---
    What's with that?
[03:43] ---
    Wh-What's your problem?
[03:45] ---
    Huh? Um, I...
[03:48] ---
    Hey! You're Kashiwazaki Sena's boyfriend!
[03:52] ---
    Grrrrrr!
[03:54] ---
    Kashiwazaki Sena--that woman
    is definitely my enemy!
[03:58] ---
    Er, so who are you?
[04:01] ---
    Y-You don't know who I am?!
[04:05] ---
    I suppose I should've expected an associate
    of Kashiwazaki Sena's to be rude.
[04:09] ---
    Are you famous or something?
[04:11] ---
    I'm Yusa Aoi, Year 2, Class 3!
[04:13] ---
    I'm the student council treasurer!
[04:15] ---
    I ranked ♪2 on these tests!
[04:17] ---
    Wow...
[04:19] ---
    If she's Class 3, she's
    in the same class as Sena.
[04:22] ---
    So you're ♪2 in our whole grade
    and a student council officer!
[04:25] ---
    That's amazing.
[04:27] ---
    That condescending attitude
    is extremely obnoxious!
[04:30] ---
    I've been Kashiwazaki Sena's
    runner-up since last year!
[04:34] ---
    I don't know about last year,
[04:36] ---
    but I still think you're doing really great.
[04:38] ---
    She's just tough, that's all.
[04:41] ---
    Well, I still want to win!
[04:42] ---
    At least in test scores, if nothing else!
[04:45] ---
    Glamorous looks, outstanding
    grades, great at all sports,
[04:50] ---
    and she's a rich little princess!
[04:53] ---
    I feel like I've heard this before.
[04:56] ---
    I know for a fact that the world
    calls those like Kashiwazaki Sena
[05:01] ---
    "people with real lives."
[05:03] ---
    She gets to have a real life *and
    *a boyfriend on top of that?!
[05:07] ---
    It's patently unfair!
[05:09] ---
    Look, slow down. I'm not dating Sena!
[05:14] ---
    You can't fool me.
[05:16] ---
    You use her first name with no honorific--
[05:18] ---
    you've obviously got a special relationship.
[05:20] ---
    All the boys in our class
    use "-sama" for her.
[05:25] ---
    It's no use. She's just not listening.
[05:28] ---
    Honestly... I'm fighting
    like mad to surpass her,
[05:32] ---
    and meanwhile she gets herself
    a cool boyfriend like this?
[05:34] ---
    I'm jealous!
[05:37] ---
    Hey, when you say "cool,"
    are you talking about me?!
[05:42] ---
    What, do you see anybody else standing here?
[05:45] ---
    And any way you look at it, you're cool.
[05:48] ---
    There's that understated blond hair
    you clearly take such pains to dye!
[05:52] ---
    And you wear your pants rolled
    up, because you've got fashion!
[05:55] ---
    I know for a fact that the
    world calls cool guys like you
[05:59] ---
    "bad-boy chic," you know!
[06:03] ---
    N-Nobody's ever talked
    about me like that before!
[06:06] ---
    Why are you making that funny face?!
[06:09] ---
    I can't believe you've got a sense
    of humor on top of the cool factor!
[06:12] ---
    You're obviously the kind of awesome
    boyfriend suited to Little Miss Perfect!
[06:17] ---
    I'm displeased yet jealous!
    Completely envious!
[06:20] ---
    I'm leaving.
[06:27] ---
    Yusa Aoi, huh?
[06:30] ---
    I've met yet another weirdo...
[06:38] ---
    Yo!
[06:40] ---
    Huh? You're all alone?
[06:42] ---
    Yozora and Rika left. They said
    something about location scouting.
[06:46] ---
    Apparently they want a shot of
    the sun setting into the sea.
[06:49] ---
    Huh... Oh, I just remembered:
[06:51] ---
    I ran into a girl named
    Yusa Aoi on my way here.
[06:54] ---
    Who's Yusa?
[06:55] ---
    What do you mean "who"?!
    She's a girl in your class!
[06:59] ---
    Huh?
[06:59] ---
    She's short, and she's
    got sort of reddish hair.
[07:03] ---
    Oh, yeah, that does sound kind of familiar.
[07:06] ---
    At least memorize the
    names of your classmates.
[07:09] ---
    I memorized the girls who sit
    next to me and behind me.
[07:13] ---
    Not that it paid off any.
[07:14] ---
    Did something happen?
[07:16] ---
    I've told you before: There are only
    two types of girls in this world.
[07:20] ---
    Great girls I hit it off with,
[07:20] ---
    Yeah! Let's go together on Sunday!
[07:23] ---
    and those other bitches.
[07:23] ---
    I don't want to go there.
[07:25] ---
    Why should I have to remember
    all those mongrels' names?
[07:29] ---
    Fine, don't come! Moron!!
[07:29] ---
    "Sena-sama: Fine, don't come! Moron!!"
[07:30] ---
    So she calls her classmates "mongrels"...
[07:33] ---
    Well, evidently this Yusa girl's name
[07:35] ---
    has been right below yours
    on every single test ranking.
[07:39] ---
    Why would I care about
    other people's rankings?
[07:41] ---
    Where are they even posted, anyway?
[07:44] ---
    On the bulletin board, obviously!
[07:46] ---
    Oh, huh.
[07:47] ---
    You've never looked?
[07:49] ---
    I can tell my rank from the paper that
    has our percentiles and stuff, you know.
[07:53] ---
    The only important thing
    is that I come in first.
[07:56] ---
    You're really something.
[07:58] ---
    Am I?
[07:59] ---
    What kind of studying do you usually do?
[08:01] ---
    Do you have a tutor?
[08:03] ---
    I don't study except for going
    to class and doing my homework.
[08:06] ---
    For real?! What about for tests, then?
[08:08] ---
    That time with you was my only time.
[08:11] ---
    That was kind of fun!
[08:13] ---
    Y-Yeah... I guess it was.
[08:16] ---
    So, Kodaka.
[08:18] ---
    Did something happen with that Yusa girl?
[08:20] ---
    Eh, never mind.
[08:22] ---
    Okay.
[08:23] ---
    She really doesn't care at all about
    stuff she's not interested in...
[08:29] ---
    And yet when she likes something,
[08:31] ---
    she gets so into it she makes
    everybody else uncomfortable.
[08:34] ---
    When it comes to Yozora, even if she doesn't
    like it she gets practically criminal--
[08:37] ---
    Actually, I guess the sneak
    photo thing really is criminal.
[08:41] ---
    She lives however she pleases
    and does whatever she wants.
[08:44] ---
    And she's got the huge talent and family
    circumstances to get away with it.
[08:49] ---
    She's a born princess.
[08:51] ---
    Maybe it's only natural for
    the other girls to hate her.
[08:56] ---
    Now that I think about it, getting
    to hang out with her so casually
[08:59] ---
    might actually be an honor.
[09:03] ---
    We found the perfect location!
[09:06] ---
    We're going straight out
    to film it. Let's go, Meat.
[09:09] ---
    Hey--
[09:10] ---
    You get ready too, Kodaka.
[09:10] ---
    I hadn't saved yet!
[09:12] ---
    Okay, okay.
[09:13] ---
    Shooting time!
[09:14] ---
    "The Moon Rises in the Sky"
[09:14] ---
    And... action!
[09:17] ---
    Grit your teeth, Hirotaka.
[09:23] ---
    K-Kuya...
[09:25] ---
    Cut!
[09:29] ---
    Okay, we're good!
[09:30] ---
    Hey, are you sure this is okay?
[09:33] ---
    What do you mean?
[09:35] ---
    How was it?
[09:35] ---
    The background is obviously a park.
[09:37] ---
    Not bad.
[09:38] ---
    No need to worry!
[09:40] ---
    Rika will turn it into a
    perfect beach later with CG.
[09:44] ---
    Look forward to it!
[09:48] ---
    Well, Rika needs to go edit
    this, so she'll see you later.
[09:51] ---
    See you.
[09:54] ---
    I know what she said, but
    can she really manage it?
[09:57] ---
    She's no CG expert...
[10:00] ---
    Why, if it isn't Kodaka-kun!
[10:03] ---
    President?!
[10:05] ---
    Fancy meeting you here.
[10:06] ---
    Hello, Sir.
[10:08] ---
    Hi.
[10:10] ---
    This school festival atmosphere
    is quite pleasant, isn't it?
[10:15] ---
    Yes, I suppose so.
[10:21] ---
    Your club is doing a movie,
    if I recall correctly.
[10:24] ---
    Yes, Sir.
[10:25] ---
    Movies are nice. Hayato used to
    drag me to them all the time...
[10:33] ---
    President?
[10:34] ---
    Oh, never mind.
[10:35] ---
    Now, what's this movie like?
[10:39] ---
    Sena never told you?
[10:42] ---
    I don't have many chances
    to speak with her, you see.
[10:45] ---
    I see...
[10:49] ---
    I'd love to see it when it's finished.
[10:52] ---
    I feel a little shy about having
    someone I know watch it.
[10:55] ---
    By the way, Kodaka-kun...
[10:57] ---
    Yes?
[10:58] ---
    How is your relationship
    with Sena coming along?
[11:02] ---
    Er, um...
[11:05] ---
    Perhaps you're embarrassed
    to talk about it with me!
[11:08] ---
    No, it's not that I'm
    embarrassed, it's just...
[11:11] ---
    what do you mean, "relationship"?
[11:14] ---
    Oh, you don't need to play dumb about it.
[11:17] ---
    Um... No, really, what?
[11:27] ---
    You and Sena are dating, aren't you?
[11:30] ---
    No, we aren't.
[11:33] ---
    What?!
[11:40] ---
    Something urgent has come up.
[11:42] ---
    I'll see you another day, Kodaka-kun.
[11:44] ---
    Right...
[11:49] ---
    Oh, no!
[11:52] ---
    What's going on?!
[11:59] ---
    He's a funny guy...
[12:07] ---
    Yo!
[12:09] ---
    Kodaka, come with me.
[12:12] ---
    Hey!
[12:12] ---
    Where are you going, Meat?
[12:14] ---
    We have to do something. We'll be right back.
[12:17] ---
    Hey, Sena!
[12:26] ---
    It's so hot...
[12:29] ---
    Well? What did you want to talk about?
[12:33] ---
    It sounds like Daddy thought
    you and I were dating.
[12:38] ---
    Oh, that.
[12:41] ---
    He said that to me yesterday,
    too. It surprised me.
[12:45] ---
    Why did he think that?
[12:48] ---
    Well, um... How do I put this?
[12:52] ---
    D-Don't glare at me like that.
[12:55] ---
    I'm not trying to glare at you.
[12:57] ---
    Er, you remember how we all
    went to the amusement park?
[13:01] ---
    Y-Yeah, I do.
[13:03] ---
    I got those tickets from Daddy...
[13:07] ---
    And?
[13:12] ---
    The thing is, when he gave
    them to me, I said...
[13:15] ---
    Yay! Now I can have Kobato-chan
    for my little sister!
[13:20] ---
    Pardon?
[13:20] ---
    D-Daddy got the wrong idea from that.
[13:24] ---
    I don't get what you're talking about!
[13:26] ---
    Sheesh, you're so dense! If you and I
    got... m-m-m-married or something...
[13:33] ---
    Obviously she'd be my sister, right?!
[13:35] ---
    Married?! I mean, yeah, but--
[13:38] ---
    At the time I was so excited, I
    didn't think too deeply about it...
[13:43] ---
    But now I remember him
    saying lots of stuff...
[13:47] ---
    Like "Are there plans for Kobato-kun
    to become your sister?"
[13:51] ---
    and "How is your relationship
    progressing?" and stuff.
[13:54] ---
    And what did you answer?
[13:56] ---
    "Don't you worry! I've
    totally got this!" I said.
[14:01] ---
    Hey!
[14:02] ---
    Aha, it turns out he meant my relationship
    with you, not Kobato-chan!
[14:08] ---
    Look, you...
[14:10] ---
    I am deeply ashamed of myself.
[14:14] ---
    Well, at least you've explained
    things to him now, right?
[14:18] ---
    Yeah.
[14:19] ---
    Okay. As long as he gets that it was
    all a misunderstanding, it's fine.
[14:24] ---
    I feel kind of bad for the President,
[14:26] ---
    but I'm glad it's all straightened out.
[14:28] ---
    So, here's what I wanted
    to talk to you about...
[14:31] ---
    What? There's more?!
[14:34] ---
    Uh-huh. And just so you know,
    this part is not my fault!
[14:39] ---
    It's something I only just now found
    out, because of this whole mess...
[14:43] ---
    O-Okay.
[14:46] ---
    You and I...
[14:48] ---
    ...are apparently engaged.
[14:54] ---
    Are you okay, Kodaka?
[14:55] ---
    Huh? Y-Yeah.
[14:57] ---
    Daddy says that back when we
    were too young to remember,
[15:01] ---
    he and your daddy made a promise.
[15:05] ---
    Basically, we're what you'd call "betrothed."
[15:07] ---
    Betrothed?! This is like something
    out of a soap opera...
[15:11] ---
    They even wrote up a pact, and
    it has our thumbprints on it.
[15:16] ---
    They took it that far?
[15:17] ---
    Our prints were really
    tiny. It was pretty cute.
[15:21] ---
    Oh, really? I don't remember this at all...
[15:25] ---
    I don't either! But look.
[15:30] ---
    This is...
[15:31] ---
    It looks like you and I met a long time ago.
[15:35] ---
    For real?
[15:38] ---
    It feels kind of weird, you know?
[15:41] ---
    Yeah, totally...
[15:48] ---
    Well, setting that aside!
[15:50] ---
    Mm-hmm.
[15:51] ---
    About the marriage thing...
[15:52] ---
    Mm-hmm?
[15:54] ---
    An engagement we didn't make ourselves
    isn't anything to worry about, right?
[16:00] ---
    Y-Yes, you're right!
[16:02] ---
    This is just something our
    dads are randomly saying!
[16:05] ---
    Well, I dunno about "our"... I
    doubt my dad remembers the pact.
[16:12] ---
    Oh?
[16:13] ---
    So, no need for us to sweat this!
[16:16] ---
    R-Right! We won't sweat it!
[16:20] ---
    Though it almost seems like a pity...
[16:23] ---
    Nothing!
[16:25] ---
    Even if we're not engaged,
[16:27] ---
    I'll make Kobato-chan my
    sister all by myself!
[16:31] ---
    I don't suppose I can get
    you to give up on that?
[16:34] ---
    Okay, let's go back to the club room.
[16:38] ---
    We may be fine, but...
[16:41] ---
    I'm a little worried about
    what that moron will think.
[16:47] ---
    It's not like we have to tell her, right?
[16:50] ---
    It's irrelevant anyway.
[16:53] ---
    Well, maybe so...
[16:56] ---
    Yeah, you're right.
[17:02] ---
    You're late! What were you doing?!
[17:05] ---
    Nothing too important. Now, shall we go film?
[17:11] ---
    All right, fine.
[17:13] ---
    Let's go. Today we're starting
    with the baseball field scene.
[17:19] ---
    Time for more movie-making!
[17:21] ---
    Maria.
[17:22] ---
    It's Big Brother! I'm gonna
    make a movie with Big Brother!
[17:28] ---
    Movie!
[17:29] ---
    Come to think of it, I feel like
    I'm forgetting something...
[17:34] ---
    But you've got Sena-san,
    so I guess that's out...
[17:38] ---
    When Kate said "that's out," did she mean...?
[17:42] ---
    Oh, right!
[17:43] ---
    Are you and Sena really getting married?
[17:45] ---
    The hag said so yesterday!
[17:50] ---
    The word is "fiancée," right?
[17:52] ---
    Wow, you're so grown up if you've
    got a fiancée, Big Brother!
[17:59] ---
    So grown up! Way grown up!
[18:02] ---
    What is she talking about?
[18:14] ---
    Betrothed... And the two of
    them met a long time ago...
[18:20] ---
    But hey, it's totally
    irrelevant to us now! Right?
[18:25] ---
    Right! That's exactly right!
[18:28] ---
    Say, Rika-san.
[18:29] ---
    Yes, Yozora-san?
[18:32] ---
    Which relationship is closer,
    childhood friends or betrotheds?
[18:37] ---
    Rika believes most people
    would say betrotheds.
[18:42] ---
    That's what I thought.
[18:44] ---
    Especially since they met as children.
[18:47] ---
    One could say they're childhood
    friends, couldn't one?
[18:50] ---
    That's what I thought.
[18:52] ---
    Oh, please!
[18:55] ---
    We're saying it doesn't matter,
[18:58] ---
    so what are you losing
    confidence for, idiot?!
[19:03] ---
    M-Meat...
[19:09] ---
    For Pete's sake! Come on, let's go film!
[19:16] ---
    Sena-sempai is right, you know.
[19:19] ---
    There's no use worrying about the past
    and promises parents made, is there?
[19:25] ---
    Let's focus on the future, shall we?
[19:28] ---
    Where are we filming today?
[19:36] ---
    Whatever. I don't care anymore.
[19:53] ---
    B-Big Brother!
[19:55] ---
    What is it, Kotaro?
[19:56] ---
    It's Hiro-nii! He's in trouble!
[20:00] ---
    What?!
[20:01] ---
    Okay, cut.
[20:04] ---
    How was it?
[20:05] ---
    Well...
[20:10] ---
    Her mind is somewhere else, huh.
[20:12] ---
    Shall we move on to the next scene?
[20:16] ---
    Man, I'm tired...
[20:26] ---
    Hiya, Big Brother.
[20:29] ---
    Look, you!
[20:32] ---
    Today was a train wreck thanks to you!
[20:36] ---
    Pardon?
[20:37] ---
    Wait!
[20:38] ---
    Ah, I'm sorry about that.
[20:41] ---
    But you know, it's not
    like we're the only ones
[20:44] ---
    who know you and Sena-san are engaged.
[20:46] ---
    Huh?
[20:47] ---
    Pegasus-san talks about
    it every chance he gets.
[20:51] ---
    I'd bet almost all of the sisters
    and faculty here know about it,
[20:55] ---
    and there might even be students who know.
[20:57] ---
    Ugh, that guy's got a big mouth!
[21:00] ---
    He was probably really happy.
[21:03] ---
    Huh, so that was just Pegasus
    jumping to conclusions...
[21:07] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[21:09] ---
    Oh, nothing!
[21:11] ---
    So, I hear you guys are making a movie?
[21:15] ---
    Yeah.
[21:15] ---
    What's it about?
[21:17] ---
    I couldn't make heads or
    tails of Maria's explanation.
[21:20] ---
    Yeah, I believe that.
[21:24] ---
    Ah, so it's a coming-of-age story
    centered around a transfer student.
[21:29] ---
    That reminds me of Boys Over the Slope.
[21:32] ---
    Boys Over the Slope?
[21:34] ---
    Yeah. It's a Japanese coming-of-age
    movie, a cult classic.
[21:39] ---
    I like it a lot.
[21:41] ---
    You should check it out, Big Brother.
[21:43] ---
    Huh, maybe I will! It could
    be good reference material.
[22:02] ---
    B-Big Brother!
[22:03] ---
    What is it, Kotaro?
[22:04] ---
    It's Taka-nii! He's in trouble!
[22:08] ---
    What?!
[22:10] ---
    I can't believe you, Yozora... Your script...
[22:15] ---
    ...is totally cribbed from this!
[22:40] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:51] ---
    I-I shall tell you exactly what happened.
[23:53] ---
    I thought Sena and Kodaka-*kun
    *were dating, but it wasn't true.
[23:57] ---
    You may not understand what I'm saying,
[23:59] ---
    but I don't really get this either.
[24:01] ---
    Now, now, calm down.
[24:04] ---
    You seem happy, Kate-kun.
[24:05] ---
    Oh, no, not at all!
[24:08] ---
    R-Really?
[24:09] ---
    "The Sad-Case King and the Stone-Cold Story"
[24:10] ---
    Next time: "The Sad-Case King
    and the Stone-Cold Story."
[24:13] ---
    Big Brother's got a rough life, huh?
[24:15] ---
    Maybe I have a chance now?
[24:28] ---
    

Season 2

23 - The Sad-Case King and the Stone-Cold Story

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] ---
    "The Moon Rises in the Sky"
[00:13] ---
    "Boys Over the Slope"
[00:21] ---
    "I committed plagiarism."
[00:30] ---
    And what made ya pull
    this stupid stunt? Well?!
[00:35] ---
    You guys are stupid, so I
    figured I wouldn't get caught
[00:39] ---
    if I ripped off a minor Japanese mov--
[00:40] ---
    Who's the stupid one?!
[00:42] ---
    Did ya think it was all good as long
    as ya didn't get caught?! Well?!
[00:46] ---
    Anego...
[00:48] ---
    Stupid.
[00:52] ---
    I'm very sorry.
[00:56] ---
    So, what should we do now?
[00:58] ---
    About what?
[00:59] ---
    The film! We're not trying to
    make money off this or anything,
[01:04] ---
    so maybe we can still use this script...
[01:06] ---
    You have to be kidding!
[01:08] ---
    Obviously the great Sena can't
    be in some knockoff movie!
[01:11] ---
    We're scrapping Yozora's script.
[01:13] ---
    Let's do a new, original movie.
[01:15] ---
    But there's no time to write a new one.
[01:18] ---
    No need to worry about that.
[01:21] ---
    Ta-da!
[01:22] ---
    Is that...?
[01:24] ---
    See, I secretly wrote a script myself
    in case stupid Yozora couldn't.
[01:30] ---
    Seriously?!
[01:31] ---
    Leave it to you, Sena-anego!
[01:35] ---
    Sena's got skills, huh!
[01:37] ---
    You plebs should be grateful to me.
[01:45] ---
    Hey, Yozora. How are you feeling right now?
[01:49] ---
    We found out what you did,
    and now I've stolen your job!
[01:52] ---
    How does it feel to know your
    five minutes of fame are over?
[01:57] ---
    Ha, ha, useless animal!
[02:01] ---
    Ha, ha, you're so lame!
[02:09] ---
    Yozora.
[02:11] ---
    "I committed plagiarism."
[02:12] ---
    Make up for your blunder
    with some good acting.
[02:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:33] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:36] ---
    Be My Side
[02:37] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:39] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:43] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[02:51] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:52] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[02:57] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[03:05] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[03:12] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[03:19] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:20] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[03:22] ---
    Be My Side
[03:23] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[03:25] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[03:30] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[03:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:33] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[03:35] ---
    Be My Side
[03:36] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[03:39] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[03:43] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[03:50] ---
    "The Sad-Case King and the Stone-Cold Story"
[03:58] ---
    It's a witch!
[03:59] ---
    Cool!
[04:02] ---
    How could you make me dress
    like this in public?!
[04:04] ---
    Hey, stupid Meat, are you listening?!
[04:06] ---
    Dammit!
[04:07] ---
    "Boys Over the" what?
[04:08] ---
    "Slope."
[04:09] ---
    Correct. Okay, let's do the fight scene next.
[04:12] ---
    Yes, Ma'am.
[04:17] ---
    ♪ No going back now! ♪
[04:25] ---
    Where is this power coming from?!
[04:27] ---
    But still--
[04:30] ---
    Wow, you're not bad.
[04:32] ---
    Now's the time! Jump her!
[04:35] ---
    Gimme a suggestive cut to tomorrow morning!
[04:37] ---
    "Tomorrow morning"?
[04:38] ---
    Now self-destruct, Yozora!
[04:40] ---
    L-Like that's possible!
[04:41] ---
    Sheesh, you should be able to do that much!
[04:45] ---
    Rika will fix up the explosion with CG.
[04:51] ---
    Our friendship shall outshine planet Earth!
[04:54] ---
    Planet Earth!
[04:55] ---
    Let us give thanks--whoops.
[04:55] ---
    Let us give thanks for the mercy...
[04:57] ---
    ...of the all-knowing, all-powerful
    goddess Kasi Vazwakii Swena!
[05:02] ---
    Yes! This is love!
[05:06] ---
    That makes no sense.
[05:09] ---
    High school, friendship,
    singing, magic, superpowers,
[05:14] ---
    intergalactic samurai robot
    wars, male-male love scenes...
[05:19] ---
    Who knew she'd really
    throw all that in there?
[05:23] ---
    But hey, I guess it's got a
    more indie-film feel this way.
[05:34] ---
    Rika feels bad for needing
    your help, Kodaka-sempai.
[05:37] ---
    Don't sweat it.
[05:39] ---
    Come to think of it, walking the
    hallways all alone with Rika...
[05:44] ---
    Walking the hallways all alone
    together is a first, huh Sempai?
[05:48] ---
    Is it?
[05:50] ---
    Yes, it is!
[05:51] ---
    Hmm.
[05:52] ---
    What do you mean, "hmm"?!
[05:55] ---
    Welcome!
[05:57] ---
    Come to think of it, I haven't been
    in this room since we first met.
[06:02] ---
    That was a while ago, huh?
[06:04] ---
    Yes. It was 122 days ago, in fact.
[06:08] ---
    You've been counting?!
[06:09] ---
    No, Rika just remembers.
[06:14] ---
    To be precise, it's been 122
    days, 8 hours, and 37 minutes.
[06:22] ---
    "Sect Σ"
[06:23] ---
    "Sect Sigma"?
[06:25] ---
    Please pretend you didn't see that.
[06:31] ---
    Wow.
[06:32] ---
    For a while, Rika even had fingerprint
    and voice recognition on the lock
[06:35] ---
    to make it like a secret base!
[06:37] ---
    You really do like this
    anime-type stuff, huh?
[06:40] ---
    You've even got cosplay costumes.
[06:43] ---
    Hmph, fine, call Rika childish.
[06:54] ---
    Whoa...
[06:55] ---
    You can set the equipment down anywhere.
[06:58] ---
    Okay.
[07:01] ---
    Sempai, you're the first person
    Rika has ever let into this room.
[07:05] ---
    Huh...
[07:06] ---
    "Huh"?! Please, try to
    be a little more moved!
[07:10] ---
    A girl is asking a boy into her
    room for the first time, here!
[07:14] ---
    You can't convince me this
    place is a girl's room.
[07:18] ---
    Well, good luck with the equipment checks.
[07:21] ---
    Oh, wait!
[07:24] ---
    Rika's added some effects
    to the scenes we've filmed.
[07:26] ---
    Would you mind taking a look?
[07:36] ---
    ♪  No going back now! ♪
[07:44] ---
    Where is this power coming from?!
[07:46] ---
    But still--
[07:50] ---
    Wow, you're not bad.
[08:02] ---
    You're amazing!
[08:04] ---
    Aw, don't just come out and say that!
[08:08] ---
    But this really is amazing...
    and wasn't it a lot of work?
[08:14] ---
    Well, Rika did work pretty hard.
[08:16] ---
    Oh... I feel bad that you're having
    to shoulder all the burden.
[08:20] ---
    It's fine! It's a lot of work,
    but it's certainly not a burden.
[08:26] ---
    Rika has worked on a lot
    of games and movies before,
[08:30] ---
    but this is her first time making
    something with people her own age...
[08:34] ---
    Rika's having a lot of fun!
[08:41] ---
    Photos of the Neighbors Club?
[08:43] ---
    Oh, this?
[08:45] ---
    Rika knows it was rude, but
    she took some secret photos.
[08:48] ---
    You perv!
[08:49] ---
    Please don't get the wrong idea!
[08:51] ---
    Then what is this?
[08:53] ---
    Remember how we all played that
    Romancing sAgA game together?
[08:58] ---
    Yeah.
[08:58] ---
    These are the reference materials
    Rika got to make all your CG models.
[09:05] ---
    She prepared that carefully
    just to play the game with us?
[09:12] ---
    Uh-oh, you found out. Now Rika
    feels a little embarrassed!
[09:17] ---
    You...
[09:18] ---
    Hmm? Is something wrong?
[09:20] ---
    Ah, no... Okay, well, I'll be going now.
[09:24] ---
    Okay. Good night!
[09:38] ---
    Really? Rika had a good time.
[09:41] ---
    It was the first time Rika played
    a video game with other people,
[09:45] ---
    but it was a lot of fun!
[09:50] ---
    I remember getting lost
    in her smile then, too...
[09:57] ---
    Out of all the Neighbors Club members,
[10:00] ---
    she might be the one trying
    hardest to make friends.
[10:12] ---
    "St. Chronica's Academy Middle
    School" "School Festival"
[10:14] ---
    Parents and guardians this way, please.
[10:17] ---
    We're doing a maid café!
[10:19] ---
    "Crêpes"
[10:22] ---
    Oh, wow!
[10:24] ---
    Hey, Big Brother, is this an outdoor party?
[10:27] ---
    Hmm? Yeah, I guess so.
[10:30] ---
    It's so weird for a school
    to be doing an outdoor party!
[10:33] ---
    Is this the first time you've ever
    been to a school festival, Maria?
[10:35] ---
    Yup! See, when I was in school,
    I didn't do anything but study!
[10:41] ---
    I-I see.
[10:43] ---
    Dadadadada off we go!
[10:45] ---
    Let's see, Class 2-2... There
    it is. The AV room, eh?
[10:51] ---
    Looks like they're starting at 10:00.
[10:54] ---
    Crap, we only have five minutes!
[10:56] ---
    Sena, where's the AV room?
[10:58] ---
    Why are you asking me?
[11:00] ---
    You went to school here just two years ago!
[11:02] ---
    What? No I didn't.
[11:05] ---
    You didn't?
[11:06] ---
    Nope. I went to a public
    middle school near my house.
[11:10] ---
    Come to think of it, you
    did take the entrance exam.
[11:13] ---
    So you weren't grandfathered
    in from this middle school?
[11:15] ---
    What does it matter?
[11:17] ---
    Come on, let's find the AV room!
[11:20] ---
    "AV Room"
[11:21] ---
    We will now screen a film by class 2-2.
[11:25] ---
    Please be quiet during the screening.
[11:29] ---
    Phew, we made it.
[11:32] ---
    Now, please enjoy Kobato-sama's performance.
[11:36] ---
    "Kobato-sama"?!
[11:46] ---
    "Somewhere far away"
[11:49] ---
    "in an old castle deep in the forest"
[11:51] ---
    "there lived a beautiful princess."
[11:55] ---
    "Her name was"
[11:59] ---
    "Princess Kobato"
[12:00] ---
    At least rename her!
[12:03] ---
    "O beautiful Princess
    Kobato, will you marry me?"
[12:08] ---
    "No, marry me!"
[12:13] ---
    "Me! Me!"
[12:17] ---
    "Very well, I shall marry whoever brings me
    the jewel of the dragon at the end of the world."
[12:23] ---
    A Kaguya-hime motif, eh?
[12:43] ---
    "Farewell..."
[12:48] ---
    Our movie isn't as good as this.
[12:58] ---
    Bravo! Bravo, Kobato-chan!
[13:04] ---
    Beautifully performed. Leave it
    to your honored sister, Aniki.
[13:09] ---
    Rika loves cutting-edge SFX, but
    that retro feel was good, too!
[13:13] ---
    Yes. Let's take a lesson from
    this for the movie we're mak--
[13:16] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan was so cute!
[13:20] ---
    She's seriously a princess!
[13:21] ---
    My heart is melting!
[13:24] ---
    Man, Kobato-sama's the
    best! Seriously a goddess!
[13:28] ---
    The audience was seriously
    eating out of her hand!
[13:30] ---
    More like, how amazing is it that
    our first showing was that full?!
[13:33] ---
    If we get popular, we might
    not have enough seats!
[13:36] ---
    Maybe we should've sold tickets!
[13:38] ---
    That's Kobato*-sama* for you!
[13:42] ---
    Kobato-chan!
[13:46] ---
    Long time no see! I missed you so much!
[13:48] ---
    You're so cute! You're seriously an angel!
[13:51] ---
    You're seriously Princess Kobato!
[13:52] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan, I just love
    you! Sniff sniff! Pant pant!
[13:56] ---
    Leggo, dummy! Why're ya here?!
[13:59] ---
    Bro, I told ya not to come!
[14:03] ---
    Excuse me, are you Kobato-chan's big
    brother that we hear so much about?!
[14:07] ---
    Huh? Yeah...
[14:08] ---
    What did you think? Wasn't
    she seriously good?!
[14:11] ---
    Yeah, she was great. The
    movie was really impressive.
[14:15] ---
    Kobato-chan! Your big brother said
    you were super-good in the movie!
[14:21] ---
    It was super-good for me, too,
    Kobato-chan! You were superb!
[14:26] ---
    Jerk!
[14:27] ---
    "Princess Kobato"
[14:31] ---
    Sorry that Sena interrupted you guys.
[14:34] ---
    Please don't worry.
[14:36] ---
    Listen... Is Kobato...
[14:39] ---
    ...a popular girl?
[14:40] ---
    Yes, very!
[14:42] ---
    Lately her fan base has surged all
    over school, let alone our class!
[14:46] ---
    Oh, wow.
[14:48] ---
    But the thing is...
[14:50] ---
    Well, we totally want to be
    friends with Kobato-chan,
[14:55] ---
    but sometimes it kinda seems like
    she might not like us too much...
[15:00] ---
    Really?
[15:01] ---
    We tell her we love her all the time,
[15:04] ---
    but it's like she doesn't take us seriously,
[15:06] ---
    or like the closer we get
    the more she pulls away...
[15:10] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not
    badmouthing her or anything!
[15:14] ---
    I mean, I love that adorable shyness, too!
[15:17] ---
    Well, bye!
[15:19] ---
    Won't take people seriously,
    pulls away the closer they get...
[15:24] ---
    Like brother, like sister.
[15:26] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[15:33] ---
    What's wrong, Maria?
[15:35] ---
    This is no fun.
[15:50] ---
    You have waited long for me, my brethren.
[15:53] ---
    The poopy vampire! The poopy vampire is here!
[15:58] ---
    We gotta kill the vampire!
[16:01] ---
    You would defy me? You never
    learn, foolish minion of--
[16:08] ---
    Why do ya keep comin' at me
    outta nowhere, ya dummy?!
[16:12] ---
    Taste my true power, which bends
    even the power of God to my will!
[16:17] ---
    Okay, let's get out there and film the
    scene with the major Kobato-chan heroics!
[16:21] ---
    I don't remember Kobato having a scene.
[16:24] ---
    Of course she does!
[16:25] ---
    All the scenes that you've done so
    far, we're redoing with Kobato*-chan*!
[16:29] ---
    So I was a stand-in?! First I've heard of it!
[16:32] ---
    Look at the sun! It's in the
    perfect place, so let's hurry up!
[16:36] ---
    Oh well, I guess we'd better.
[16:38] ---
    I'll show you my dark powers that
    sold out the theater, poopy nun!
[16:44] ---
    I'll slaughter you with
    my sacred performance!
[16:48] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan, wait!
[16:59] ---
    Come on, Kodaka, get a move on!
[17:01] ---
    Okay, okay.
[17:09] ---
    It's a beautiful day without a cloud in the
    sky: the perfect day for a sports festival.
[17:15] ---
    You've all practiced hard for today,
    so show us the fruits of your labor
[17:20] ---
    and give it your all until the end.
[17:22] ---
    I'd like to thank the parents very
    much for coming all this way.
[17:23] ---
    Huh, our student council
    president is a girl.
[17:28] ---
    I never knew.
[17:29] ---
    I hope you'll cheer for us to the end.
[17:34] ---
    Well, I've got nothing to
    do for a while. What now?
[17:39] ---
    Yo.
[17:40] ---
    Oh, Kodaka, it's you.
[17:44] ---
    Maybe I'll head home.
[17:46] ---
    That was fast!
[17:47] ---
    I should have skipped after all.
[17:51] ---
    It's still morning, and I've
    already seen something icky...
[17:52] ---
    Something icky?
[17:54] ---
    That girl who spoke at the opening ceremony.
[17:57] ---
    Huh? Do you and the student
    council president not get along?
[18:00] ---
    We've never even spoken.
    But I hate her to death.
[18:03] ---
    What?
[18:05] ---
    Hidaka Hinata. Third year.
    Overwhelmingly popular.
[18:09] ---
    And this is her second year
    as student council president.
[18:13] ---
    She's good at all sports, and all
    the teams ask her to fill in.
[18:17] ---
    She's extremely busy, and yet I hear
    she almost never refuses a favor.
[18:21] ---
    The underclassmen idolize her, naturally.
[18:24] ---
    She seems like a really good person...
[18:26] ---
    Hidaka Hinata--she is a true real-lifer.
[18:30] ---
    Now that I've uncovered how
    tragically stupid Meat is,
[18:34] ---
    she stands alone at the
    satisfying-real-life summit.
[18:36] ---
    One might even rightly call her King Real.
[18:40] ---
    "King Real"?
[18:41] ---
    One of Shakespeare's great tragic plays
[18:44] ---
    is the story of the elderly king
    Lear causing numerous tragedies
[18:48] ---
    and ultimately dying a pathetic death.
[18:50] ---
    Almost the entire cast dies.
[18:52] ---
    That's a pretty sinister nickname.
[18:54] ---
    It expresses my wish that
    her life ends badly.
[19:00] ---
    I'm starting to feel sick
    just talking about her.
[19:03] ---
    I'm going to go rest in the nurse's office.
[19:06] ---
    How much do you hate real-lifers, exactly?
[19:13] ---
    Rika?
[19:15] ---
    What's she doing?
[19:21] ---
    Sempai! What are you doing here?
[19:24] ---
    That's my line.
[19:25] ---
    Rika wanted to feel the wind for a while.
[19:29] ---
    I can't believe you're dressed like that!
[19:31] ---
    Rika decided to wear a gym
    uniform for the occasion.
[19:34] ---
    How does it look?
[19:35] ---
    Why not just participate while you're at it?
[19:38] ---
    No, Rika still has work to do.
[19:40] ---
    Not that she would join if she didn't.
[19:42] ---
    Hey, did you pull an all-nighter last night?
[19:45] ---
    Oh dear, you caught on?
[19:47] ---
    Perhaps Rika should have worn her glasses.
[19:50] ---
    I, um... well... Thanks for
    working so hard for us, Rika.
[19:58] ---
    For goodness's sake!
[20:00] ---
    Hasn't Rika told you to stop
    blindsiding her like that?!
[20:05] ---
    I don't know what to say to that...
[20:07] ---
    Oh, Rika thinks the race is about to start!
[20:12] ---
    Look, it's Sena-sempai.
[20:14] ---
    Goodness, that's a lot of jiggling!
[20:19] ---
    Where are you looking?
[20:23] ---
    Altogether Sena-sempai really
    is impressive, isn't she?
[20:26] ---
    Yeah.
[20:28] ---
    Incidentally, what do you think of her?
[20:31] ---
    I don't think anything! She's
    just a fellow club member.
[20:35] ---
    Even though she's your betrothed?
[20:38] ---
    That's all over and done with!
[20:40] ---
    Hmmm. Rika doesn't think Sena-*sempai
    *agrees with you there.
[20:44] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[20:53] ---
    You're always lonely, but you're
    scared of open affection from others.
[20:58] ---
    You pretend not to notice.
    You pretend not to hear.
[21:01] ---
    You run. You make jokes.
    You brush off. You reject.
[21:05] ---
    You even lie to your own heart,
    and tell it "They don't like you."
[21:09] ---
    Oh, you're talking about Kobato.
[21:11] ---
    Yeah, she's always been scared of strangers.
[21:14] ---
    "What did you say," my ass. Idiot.
[21:19] ---
    Rika will keep playing the same
    character she's always played,
[21:22] ---
    if that's what you want.
[21:25] ---
    But Kodaka-sempai...
[21:28] ---
    Don't you think it's about time
    you moved forward? After all...
[21:31] ---
    Stop it!
[21:39] ---
    I'm going.
[21:45] ---
    After all, we're already...
[21:48] ---
    We're already your--
[21:51] ---
    --aren't we?
[21:54] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[22:08] ---
    The truth is, I knew which word
    the wind had swallowed up.
[22:14] ---
    The truth is, I'd realized it long ago.
[22:39] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:01] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:50] ---
    ♪ Be My Friend! Yeah, you played dumb! ♪
[23:53] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[23:55] ---
    ♪ Be My Side! But I saw
    right through you! ♪
[23:59] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[24:01] ---
    You're sure into this. You just ruined
    the somber mood of the episode.
[24:04] ---
    Well, I figured I'd at least
    give the preview some spirit...
[24:07] ---
    Makes sense!
[24:07] ---
    "Dismay of I, the Chicken"
[24:08] ---
    Next time: "Dismay of I, the Chicken."
[24:11] ---
    Sempai! Please marry Rika!
[24:15] ---
    What? No.
[24:16] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?!
[24:18] ---
    

Season 2

24 - Dismay of I, the Chicken

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    Kobato-chan, you came!
[00:17] ---
    Where's Rika?
[00:18] ---
    Rika's not here yet!
[00:21] ---
    Huh? The movie's not here either, then?
[00:23] ---
    Correct.
[00:25] ---
    She messaged me last night
[00:27] ---
    that she'd have a masterpiece done by
    this morning come hell or high water...
[00:33] ---
    Wait, don't tell me she worked
    through the whole night?
[00:39] ---
    I'll go check on her.
[00:39] ---
    "Neighbors Club Movie Screenings"
[00:47] ---
    "Sect Σ"
[00:51] ---
    Hey, Rika!
[00:57] ---
    It's unlocked?
[01:01] ---
    Rika?
[01:09] ---
    Rika!
[01:25] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:26] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:29] ---
    Be My Side
[01:30] ---
    But I saw right through you
[01:32] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[01:36] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[01:44] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[01:45] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[01:50] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[01:58] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[02:05] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[02:12] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:13] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[02:15] ---
    Be My Side
[02:16] ---
    But I saw right through you
[02:18] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[02:23] ---
    So I can take your hand
[02:25] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:26] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[02:28] ---
    Be My Side
[02:29] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[02:32] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[02:36] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[02:43] ---
    "Dismay of I, the Chicken"
[02:45] ---
    They said it's just a cold.
[02:48] ---
    Sheesh, she shouldn't worry us like that.
[02:52] ---
    Maybe...
[02:53] ---
    Maybe we've been leaning on her too much.
[02:58] ---
    Yeah.
[03:01] ---
    But we can't waste time
    thinking about that now.
[03:05] ---
    "Waste time"?!
[03:06] ---
    We'll save the self-reflection for
    later. We have to get started now.
[03:09] ---
    On what?
[03:10] ---
    The screenings are canceled.
[03:12] ---
    Canceled?!
[03:14] ---
    It's kind of a shame.
[03:16] ---
    It's not finished. We have no choice.
[03:19] ---
    Plus...
[03:20] ---
    It's pointless if all seven of
    us aren't at the first viewing.
[03:26] ---
    Yozora...
[03:33] ---
    "The Neighbors Club movie
    screenings have been canceled."
[03:48] ---
    Cut it out!
[03:50] ---
    No messing around with the bulletin board!
[03:54] ---
    Hasegawa-kun, it's you!
[03:55] ---
    Oh, hi, Yusa. I'm not messing with it.
[03:59] ---
    My club's presentation was canceled,
[04:01] ---
    so I'm taking down the posters.
[04:03] ---
    Please accept my apologies.
[04:05] ---
    I know you're not the type of person
    to pull pranks, Hasegawa-kun.
[04:14] ---
    Sorry, I'm kind of moved.
[04:16] ---
    Usually people don't believe me,
[04:18] ---
    or they just run away before I can explain.
[04:21] ---
    I don't really understand you,
[04:22] ---
    but clearly you must have a sensitive soul.
[04:26] ---
    You really are a perfect boyfriend
[04:28] ---
    to match the inhumanly perfect
    real-lifer Kashiwazaki Sena!
[04:32] ---
    I told you, I'm not her boyfriend!
    We're just clubmates.
[04:35] ---
    Clubmates? But Kashiwazaki
    Sena isn't in any clubs!
[04:40] ---
    The club started in June.
[04:43] ---
    "Neighbors Club"?
[04:45] ---
    I've never heard of that
    club. What do you do in it?
[04:50] ---
    Um... Excuse me, I'm in a hurry!
[04:55] ---
    I apologize for delaying you.
[04:57] ---
    No prob. Good luck with your job too!
[04:59] ---
    Thank you!
[05:02] ---
    "Infirmary"
[05:05] ---
    Rika, are you awake?
[05:07] ---
    Yes. Please feel free to
    sneak into Rika's bed.
[05:11] ---
    Sheesh. That kind of joke is--
[05:20] ---
    You should keep this cold forever.
[05:23] ---
    Don't you think that was a little mean?
[05:26] ---
    Ah, sorry! I'm joking.
[05:30] ---
    So the screenings are canceled?
[05:32] ---
    Yeah.
[05:33] ---
    Rika was almost finished...
[05:36] ---
    There's no point if you're
    just gonna faint again.
[05:39] ---
    Well, couldn't we screen
    a 95% finished version?!
[05:43] ---
    Not a chance, idiot.
[05:50] ---
    Yozora says it's pointless if all seven
    of us aren't at the first viewing.
[05:56] ---
    Yozora-sempai said that?
[05:57] ---
    Yeah. Yozora said that!
[06:00] ---
    And I... We agreed with her.
[06:06] ---
    Gonna be moved to tears?
[06:08] ---
    R-R-Rika's not crying!
[06:11] ---
    FYI, I almost cried.
[06:17] ---
    Rika is suddenly sleepy!
[06:22] ---
    Kodaka-sempai.
[06:24] ---
    If you want to molest Rika, now is the time.
[06:28] ---
    Like in an ero-doujinshi.
[06:29] ---
    Look, you.
[06:31] ---
    Do you even have a plan for if
    I actually took you up on that?
[06:35] ---
    You never would, though.
[06:41] ---
    Oh, Sempai! Since you're here, would you
    read to Rika until she falls asleep?
[06:47] ---
    Read?
[06:48] ---
    This one, please!
[06:49] ---
    "Secret Sessions with a Devil of a Teacher"
[06:52] ---
    Th-That's a BL book!
[06:54] ---
    Please read it, Sempai!
[06:58] ---
    Be serious.
[06:59] ---
    This stuff is perfect for right now.
[07:04] ---
    Okay, okay. You really
    are a pervert, you know.
[07:08] ---
    Totally depraved.
[07:12] ---
    Thank you very much! Please
    start with the bookmarked page!
[07:18] ---
    "H-Heh... H-Heh, heh... Osawa-kun,
    you look like you w-w-want it bad..."
[07:26] ---
    "Is this how desperate you've
    been for my d-d-di... ck...?"
[07:30] ---
    Rika can't hear you!
[07:32] ---
    "F-For my dick?"!
[07:35] ---
    Say it with feeling!
[07:38] ---
    "T-Teacher, please, put your
    h-hot rod into my y-yaoi hole--"
[07:47] ---
    Yaoi hole? What's a "yaoi hole"?
[07:50] ---
    What? You're a boy, and you
    don't know about the yaoi hole?
[07:54] ---
    Huh?
[07:56] ---
    Huh?
[07:59] ---
    What are you talking about?
[08:00] ---
    Hole?
[08:05] ---
    Rika can't believe the *yaoi
    *hole doesn't really exist...
[08:08] ---
    Why would you think it did?
[08:10] ---
    It's not Rika's fault!
[08:12] ---
    She's never seen a boy naked in real life.
[08:15] ---
    And she has no friends
    to correct her mistake...
[08:20] ---
    But are you sure you don't have
    one? Allow Rika to check--
[08:24] ---
    Just go to sleep! I'm heading out.
[08:27] ---
    Okay.
[08:33] ---
    It's thanks to the Neighbors Club that we
    can be silly with each other like this, huh?
[08:57] ---
    "The movie is finished, so
    please come to the club room."
[08:58] ---
    "To the Neighbors Club.
[08:59] ---
    The movie is finished, so
    please come to the club room."
[09:08] ---
    Ahem. Rika sincerely apologizes for
    all the inconvenience she caused.
[09:14] ---
    Hmph! I-It wasn't really...
[09:16] ---
    Please don't worry about it, Rika-dono.
[09:19] ---
    Wh-Whatever, just show us the movie.
[09:21] ---
    I wanna see it now too!
[09:25] ---
    Let's see your fruitless human efforts.
[09:29] ---
    All right, here we go.
[09:47] ---
    "The Legend of the Great Kasi Vazwakii
    Swena Love Is Life Is Found in Death"
[10:03] ---
    "Guilty"
[10:32] ---
    And so the curtain closed on the
    Neighbors Club's school festival.
[10:42] ---
    "Real-lifer"
[10:46] ---
    "King Real"
[10:47] ---
    Thumbs ready... two!
[10:50] ---
    Thumbs ready... zero!
[10:54] ---
    Thumbs ready... eight!
[10:56] ---
    Please, behave yourselves!
[11:01] ---
    Oh, dear!
[11:04] ---
    Oh, dear!
[11:09] ---
    I beat my high score!
[11:14] ---
    Who's she?
[11:14] ---
    I'm Yusa! Yusa Aoi! We're in the same class!
[11:18] ---
    The same class?
[11:20] ---
    We've had plenty of conversations
    in the classroom!
[11:24] ---
    Now that you mention it, I kind
    of feel like that's true...
[11:27] ---
    K-Kashiwazaki Sena, you're
    mocking me again...!
[11:33] ---
    Look, don't take it too personally.
    So, what brings you here?
[11:37] ---
    Oh, that's right!
[11:39] ---
    Okay.
[11:43] ---
    What is wrong with this club?!
    All you ever do is play!
[11:47] ---
    We just happen to be
    taking a break right now.
[11:50] ---
    I-It's no use lying! I've kept
    tabs on you for some time now!
[11:55] ---
    Tabs?
[11:56] ---
    I got curious about what kind of club
    you and Kashiwazaki Sena were in.
[12:01] ---
    I-I see...
[12:03] ---
    And? Supposing we did play all the
    time, would that be a problem?
[12:09] ---
    Each club has its own activity program.
[12:12] ---
    Outsiders have no right
    to stick their noses in.
[12:14] ---
    I am on the student council!
[12:16] ---
    Council members have a duty to correct
    students who stray from the path!
[12:20] ---
    Yusa thinks of Sena as a rival or
    something. I think that's why she's here.
[12:25] ---
    So this is Meat's fault?
[12:27] ---
    The Neighbors Club is officially
    recognized by the school,
[12:31] ---
    and we abide by its stated aims.
[12:34] ---
    In compliance with God's instructions,
[12:36] ---
    we become neighbors with our fellow
    students, deepen that friendship,
[12:40] ---
    and, as occasion may require,
    sincerely work hard together.
[12:44] ---
    In other words, what appears
    to be mere playing around
[12:47] ---
    is in fact perfectly
    legitimate club business!
[12:49] ---
    Huh?
[12:50] ---
    I'm amazed she remembers that spiel.
[12:52] ---
    We play video games and read
[12:54] ---
    in order to become good neighbors
    to our fellow students.
[12:58] ---
    You want some too, don't you?
[13:00] ---
    Fun friends. Knowledgeable friends.
[13:03] ---
    Friends who share your
    interests. Dependable friends.
[13:06] ---
    I want some!
[13:07] ---
    Shut up.
[13:08] ---
    We work hard together each day in our
    quest to be magnificent neighbors.
[13:14] ---
    T-True, I believe such friends
    would enrich a person's life.
[13:19] ---
    But you didn't seem to be doing that at all!
[13:21] ---
    That's your personal impression.
[13:24] ---
    Does the council reject the activities of
    law-abiding students based on personal impressions?
[13:30] ---
    But what about that girl?!
[13:32] ---
    Or that one?!
[13:34] ---
    I don't think it's right
    to break school rules!
[13:37] ---
    School rules?
[13:38] ---
    Look at their clothes! According
    to Student Handbook Article 5,
[13:41] ---
    the Rules for Attire, "Students are
    required to wear their uniforms
[13:45] ---
    while on campus as well as on
    their way to and from sch--"
[13:49] ---
    Article 5 Section 4 stipulates
    the exceptions to that rule.
[13:53] ---
    I believe club activities
    are specifically included.
[13:57] ---
    F-Four... You're right.
[14:01] ---
    But these exceptions are for gym
    clothes and other uniforms--
[14:05] ---
    If so, you should fill out
    the official paperwork
[14:06] ---
    to have the handbook amended to clarify that.
[14:10] ---
    I am not bound by human laws.
[14:13] ---
    That's because you're in middle school.
[14:16] ---
    Middle school? What's a middle
    school student doing in this club?!
[14:20] ---
    There's no rule stating that middle
    schoolers can't be club members.
[14:24] ---
    Outsiders aren't allowed inside
    school buildings without permission!
[14:29] ---
    True, perhaps it is against the rules
    to allow outsiders into a club.
[14:34] ---
    Exactly!
[14:35] ---
    But are the middle schoolers "outsiders"?
[14:38] ---
    Though in a different school,
[14:40] ---
    they are nevertheless students
    of St. Chronica's Academy.
[14:43] ---
    Moreover, is it reasonable to call
    our blood relatives "outsiders"?
[14:49] ---
    Furthermore, this chapel
    may be on school grounds,
[14:53] ---
    but it is open to the public.
[14:56] ---
    Therefore, there is no problem
    with Hasegawa Kodaka's sister
[14:59] ---
    being here as a club member!
[15:02] ---
    You heard her.
[15:05] ---
    Good for you, huh?
[15:07] ---
    Grrrrr... Th-This isn't over!
[15:12] ---
    Okay.
[15:17] ---
    Hmph! And stay out, student council dog.
[15:24] ---
    Conversations with strangers
    make me nervous...
[15:28] ---
    Good work, club president.
[15:36] ---
    I have you this time!
[15:39] ---
    You again?
[15:41] ---
    Y-Your confidence is about to end!
[15:43] ---
    I've found a definitive reason why the
    Neighbors Club isn't a legitimate club!
[15:48] ---
    More crazy talk.
[15:50] ---
    Section 2 of the Rules for
    Extracurricular Activities:
[15:53] ---
    "As a rule, classes, clubs, and other
    activities undertaken in groups
[15:56] ---
    must be conducted under the
    supervision of an instructor"!
[15:59] ---
    That just means clubs have
    to have advisors, right?
[16:03] ---
    And your advisor is the issue here!
[16:06] ---
    Article 78 of the Student Council bylaws
[16:08] ---
    states that "Club advisors must be
    faculty or staff of this school"!
[16:12] ---
    Per Section 2, a sister's
    rights and responsibilities
[16:15] ---
    are equivalent to those of the faculty.
[16:18] ---
    There's no problem here.
[16:19] ---
    Yes, if your adviser were a sister,
    there would be no problem.
[16:23] ---
    However, Takayama Maria
    over there is not a sister!
[16:31] ---
    There is no "Takayama Maria" on the list
    of sisters assigned to this school!
[16:37] ---
    Only her older sister Kate-sensei is listed!
[16:40] ---
    In other words, she's just a little
    girl who hangs out in the chapel!
[16:47] ---
    B-But the club application was approved!
[16:50] ---
    Merely a mistake!
[16:52] ---
    H-Hold on a sec!
[16:57] ---
    Big Brother? What's wrong?
[16:59] ---
    I want to ask you something...
    Isn't Maria a sister?
[17:03] ---
    Nope.
[17:04] ---
    What, just like that?!
[17:05] ---
    I'm having her act as my assistant,
[17:07] ---
    partly to learn about the real world.
[17:09] ---
    After all, if she's at my school,
    I can keep an eye on her.
[17:13] ---
    Then why does Maria call herself "sensei"?
[17:15] ---
    Oh, that's just something she says!
[17:18] ---
    So why does she wear nun's robes?!
[17:20] ---
    Because it's cute!
[17:22] ---
    "Takayama Kate"
[17:23] ---
    Apparently she really isn't a sister.
[17:27] ---
    Oh... So I'm not a sister after all...
[17:32] ---
    I wonder what I am, then...
[17:35] ---
    A-Anyway, since you don't have an advisor,
[17:38] ---
    you can't be recognized as a legitimate club!
[17:40] ---
    As a club formed under false
    pretenses, you could be disbanded!
[17:44] ---
    If you don't want that, then
    from now on you'd better--
[17:45] ---
    If Maria's an official
    advisor, we're good, right?
[17:49] ---
    Y-Yes, but... The issue
    is that she's not, so...
[17:52] ---
    Uh-huh. Wait here a second.
[17:59] ---
    Anybody want some coffee?
[18:01] ---
    Huh?
[18:05] ---
    Don't worry; it's not poisoned.
[18:09] ---
    I'm afraid I've carelessly missed
    a chance to eliminate the enemy.
[18:13] ---
    Eliminating her really isn't necessary.
[18:16] ---
    Thank you for waiting, commoners.
[18:20] ---
    Maria's been offered a position
    as a special part-time instructor.
[18:22] ---
    Huh?
[18:24] ---
    What's a "special part-time instructor"?
[18:27] ---
    A teacher, basically.
[18:29] ---
    I called Daddy about our little problem.
[18:31] ---
    Pardon?
[18:32] ---
    I can be a real teacher?
[18:36] ---
    Yep. What do you say?
[18:38] ---
    Yes! I'll do it!
[18:39] ---
    Okay. We'll put in the paperwork, then.
[18:43] ---
    Yay! Yay! I'm gonna be a real teacher!
[18:44] ---
    Daddy? About what we were talking about...
[18:47] ---
    Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Thanks. Bye.
[18:47] ---
    Yay, yay!
[18:50] ---
    Yay!
[18:51] ---
    This is preposterous!
[18:53] ---
    The school president made the
    decision. Got a problem with that?
[18:55] ---
    Of course I do!
[18:57] ---
    And getting a proper advisor now
[19:00] ---
    doesn't change the fact that
    the club was created on false--
[19:02] ---
    Silence, mongrel.
[19:05] ---
    Just so you know, even if the student
    council calls for our disbandment,
[19:09] ---
    I can get that proposal canned.
[19:11] ---
    I got us an advisor for you so that
    you don't look like a fool later.
[19:15] ---
    Be grateful.
[19:16] ---
    I-I don't accept that!
[19:18] ---
    Listen closely, mongrel!
[19:20] ---
    This club belongs to me. If
    you keep barking on my turf...
[19:27] ---
    ...I'll crush you.
[19:28] ---
    How about I get you expelled, hmm?
[19:31] ---
    Y-You can't do th--
[19:33] ---
    You just keep telling yourself that.
[19:43] ---
    P-Please pardon my intrusion.
[19:50] ---
    A rich girl who abuses her influence
    to crush underfoot all who defy her...
[19:54] ---
    You're a total villain.
[19:55] ---
    I got rid of her quick,
    so what's the problem?
[19:58] ---
    No! I missed Kaoru-chan in her
    bunny ears and white bikini!
[20:00] ---
    Wait, did you resort to
    threats to run her off
[20:03] ---
    just so you could get back to your game?!
[20:06] ---
    Naturally!
[20:07] ---
    Sena-anego's principles are unwavering.
[20:10] ---
    Eh, if flaunting a little power
[20:12] ---
    is enough to get rid of her,
    she's not worth my time.
[20:15] ---
    Someone with an actual spine would
    ignore it and keep coming at me.
[20:23] ---
    I feel a little bad for Yusa, but...
[20:26] ---
    With these two around, the Neighbors
    Club is safe from any challengers.
[20:31] ---
    Oh, hey, Kodaka.
[20:34] ---
    Hmm?
[20:35] ---
    This came up while I was
    on the phone with Daddy...
[20:38] ---
    Yeah?
[20:39] ---
    Oh, dear!
[20:39] ---
    Marry me after all.
[20:45] ---
    I've been thinking about it
    ever since the betrothal thing.
[20:48] ---
    I've said this before: I don't care
    about some promise between our fathers.
[20:55] ---
    But it's that *promise
    *that I don't care about.
[20:59] ---
    When we discovered the engagement,
[21:01] ---
    the wedding itself ended up called
    off, but this is a separate issue.
[21:05] ---
    My feelings right now are
    that I want to marry you.
[21:09] ---
    I mean, I love you and everything.
[21:11] ---
    Hmm?! What did you say?!
[21:16] ---
    Ugh, you made me screw up, idiot!
[21:18] ---
    O-Oh, sorry. So, what did you say?
[21:22] ---
    "What did you say," my butt!
[21:28] ---
    Huh, I-I guess I said it.
[21:33] ---
    Well, that's okay. I was planning
    to tell you sooner or later.
[21:37] ---
    Um, so basically...
[21:39] ---
    That's the deal, okay?
[21:53] ---
    Wh-What's the deal with what?
[21:57] ---
    The game was so loud, I couldn't hear you.
[22:06] ---
    Kodaka?
[22:10] ---
    I-I just remembered something I have to do!
[22:39] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:02] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:51] ---
    Demon Astaroth!
[23:52] ---
    Today is the day I'll use the magic
    passed on to me by my teacher
[23:55] ---
    to destroy you forever!
[23:57] ---
    You've got spirit, Guernica.
[23:59] ---
    But first let me tell you
    this: I am your father!
[24:04] ---
    What? A horse like you?! How?!
[24:07] ---
    It's a long story.
[24:08] ---
    Never mind, then.
[24:09] ---
    W-Wait! Just one thing, then--
[24:11] ---
    Next time, the final episode of Haganai
    Next: "I ______ Many Friends."
[24:14] ---
    Shatter the very soul of my
    enemy! Nine Lives Breaker!
[24:18] ---
    

Season 2

25 - I _____ Many Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:25] ---
    Be My Friend
[00:26] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[00:28] ---
    Be My Side
[00:29] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[00:32] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[00:36] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[00:43] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[00:45] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[00:49] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[00:57] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[01:05] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou
[01:11] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:12] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[01:15] ---
    Be My Side
[01:15] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[01:18] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[01:22] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[01:24] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:25] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[01:28] ---
    Be My Side
[01:29] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[01:31] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[01:36] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[01:42] ---
    "I ______ Many Friends"
[02:07] ---
    Whoa, there!
[02:09] ---
    Th-Thank you, Hasegawa-kun.
[02:12] ---
    P-Please excuse me-- Uh-oh!
[02:14] ---
    That's dangerous! I'll carry one.
[02:17] ---
    Thank you very much.
[02:19] ---
    Don't sweat it.
[02:20] ---
    All right, then.
[02:27] ---
    Carrying two boxes this heavy
    at once is asking for trouble.
[02:31] ---
    I'm behind on my student council
    work because I skipped for a week.
[02:35] ---
    A week, huh?
[02:40] ---
    Why were you so set on destroying
    the Neighbors Club, anyway?
[02:46] ---
    Because the exceptionally gifted should
    be somewhere appropriate to their gifts.
[02:51] ---
    "Somewhere appropriate"?
[02:53] ---
    Yes! It's a loss to the human race
[02:56] ---
    for someone as talented as Kashiwazaki
    Sena to fritter away her time there.
[03:01] ---
    Does that mean you tried to disband
    the Neighbors Club for Sena's sake?!
[03:05] ---
    Yes!
[03:08] ---
    Oh...
[03:12] ---
    Yeah, Sena would probably
    be an asset to any club.
[03:17] ---
    And not just Sena. Yozora and
    Rika are high-spec people, too,
[03:21] ---
    and Yukimura and Kobato are popular.
[03:24] ---
    Maybe Yusa's right, and there's really
    no point to the Neighbors Club...
[03:30] ---
    Nah, just kidding.
[03:32] ---
    What?
[03:33] ---
    Kashiwazaki Sena has everything.
[03:36] ---
    I just wanted to give her a good scare.
[03:39] ---
    In other words, it was simple jealousy.
[03:42] ---
    Hey, even Sena doesn't have everything.
[03:45] ---
    What doesn't she have?
[03:46] ---
    Friends, for example.
[03:49] ---
    Are you okay?!
[03:53] ---
    Huh? Why are you laughing?
[03:56] ---
    You really do have a good
    sense of humor, Hasegawa-kun.
[04:00] ---
    There's not a person in this
    world who doesn't have friends!
[04:05] ---
    Is that so...
[04:07] ---
    You're such a nice person, telling
    a joke to cheer me up like that.
[04:18] ---
    Okay!
[04:21] ---
    Thank you very much, Hasegawa-kun!
[04:24] ---
    There are more, right? I'll
    help you with those, too.
[04:26] ---
    I-I can't ask you to do that!
[04:28] ---
    This stuff piled up because you were
    observing the Neighbors Club, right?
[04:31] ---
    So it's not like I'm uninvolved.
[04:34] ---
    But don't you need to go to your club?
[04:37] ---
    Well, the Neighbors Club doesn't
    really plan activities.
[04:39] ---
    So if we have other stuff to do,
    it's okay to put that first.
[04:44] ---
    Who am I really making these excuses to?
[04:50] ---
    Phew, we're finally halfway through.
[04:53] ---
    Yes.
[04:56] ---
    Great work, you two!
[04:58] ---
    Hinata-san! What brings you here?
[05:01] ---
    I heard another student was helping you out.
[05:05] ---
    I thought I'd come thank him.
[05:07] ---
    Um, I'm Hasegawa Kodaka, from Class 2-5.
[05:11] ---
    Oh, you!
[05:13] ---
    Huh?
[05:13] ---
    Do you know of him?
[05:15] ---
    Nope, never heard of him.
[05:17] ---
    Then what was that reaction for?!
[05:18] ---
    Just a whim.
[05:22] ---
    I'm Hidaka Hinata, student
    council president.
[05:24] ---
    Nice to meet you.
[05:26] ---
    R-Right...
[05:38] ---
    By the way, why are you helping Aoi?
[05:42] ---
    Are you her boyfriend, perhaps?
[05:44] ---
    N-No! I'm sure Hasegawa-kun already has a--
[05:49] ---
    Do you have a girlfriend?
[05:50] ---
    No!
[05:51] ---
    You never date anyone
    from the Neighbors Club?
[05:55] ---
    No, I don't! It's... not like that with them.
[05:59] ---
    Oh, I see. Well, that's for the best.
[06:01] ---
    What do you mean?
[06:03] ---
    You're the only boy in the club, right?
[06:08] ---
    If you dated one of them,
[06:10] ---
    the whole atmosphere would get awkward.
[06:13] ---
    Yeah, it would...
[06:15] ---
    So, if you're not her boyfriend, why help?
[06:18] ---
    Hasegawa-kun is a wonderful person
    who always helps people in trouble!
[06:23] ---
    Oho, very admirable!
[06:28] ---
    Keep up the hard work, kid!
[06:31] ---
    Ow!
[06:32] ---
    Okay, all done!
[06:37] ---
    Thank you so much for your help today.
[06:39] ---
    Seriously, it was no problem. Good night!
[06:43] ---
    Say, Hasegawa.
[06:45] ---
    Yes?
[06:46] ---
    I like you. Want to join the student council?
[06:50] ---
    What?
[06:50] ---
    We just lost our general affairs person,
[06:54] ---
    so we're looking for a replacement.
[06:55] ---
    Yes, that might be a good idea!
[06:58] ---
    You too, Yusa? That's crazy.
[07:00] ---
    We're an all-girls council right now,
    and we could really use a man around!
[07:05] ---
    I think you would work
    out fine, Hasegawa-kun.
[07:08] ---
    Look, do you guys honestly not
    know how people think of me?
[07:14] ---
    Um... As a super-cool,
    bad-boy chic real-lifer?
[07:19] ---
    You're the only one who
    thinks that, thank you!
[07:22] ---
    But I'm afraid it's not
    "bad-boy chic," just "bad."
[07:26] ---
    They all think I'm a delinquent or a Yankee.
[07:28] ---
    Because of the hair and
    my grumpy-looking face.
[07:33] ---
    True, your hair does
    stand out at this school,
[07:36] ---
    and your eyes look evil.
[07:38] ---
    Exactly. Putting me on the student
    council would wreck your repu--
[07:42] ---
    Only fools judge people by appearances.
[07:47] ---
    I don't care what fools think of me.
[07:52] ---
    What's wrong, Hasegawa? You look dazed.
[07:54] ---
    Oh, it's nothing!
[07:56] ---
    I see. Well? What do you say?
[08:01] ---
    I'm sorry. I think the student
    council is too much for me.
[08:06] ---
    Oh, but just let me know whenever
    you need more manual labor.
[08:11] ---
    I'm usually free.
[08:12] ---
    Great! Can you come back tomorrow, then?
[08:15] ---
    The library requested our help.
[08:18] ---
    Yes, of course!
[08:19] ---
    Good answer!
[08:23] ---
    A week went by before I knew it.
[08:28] ---
    I helped out the student
    council pretty much every day.
[08:32] ---
    All the students go "Hidaka's amazing
    for bringing that punk in line,"
[08:38] ---
    Make sure you sort it all!
[08:38] ---
    so her reputation is soaring.
[08:40] ---
    Yes, Ma'am.
[08:42] ---
    My rep doesn't seem to have changed.
[08:43] ---
    Please excuse me!
[08:47] ---
    I haven't even set foot in our club room.
[08:49] ---
    "Common Room 4"
[08:51] ---
    The Neighbors Club is still important to me.
[08:55] ---
    But after running out on it like that,
[09:00] ---
    I just couldn't go back.
[09:06] ---
    So here you are.
[09:13] ---
    Yukimura...
[09:16] ---
    Aniki.
[09:23] ---
    H-Hi, Yukimura. What's up?
[09:27] ---
    I heard a despicable gang was
    making you do forced labor,
[09:31] ---
    so I came to rescue you.
[09:33] ---
    How rude!
[09:35] ---
    Kodaka-kun is helping me out
    of the kindness of his heart!
[09:38] ---
    Is that true, Aniki?
[09:40] ---
    Y-Yeah.
[09:42] ---
    In that case, I shall help as well.
[09:44] ---
    No thank you! And wait, aren't you the
    one who wanted to poison me before?!
[09:48] ---
    Yes.
[09:49] ---
    Why are you wearing a boy's uniform?
[09:51] ---
    I'm endeavoring to become a true man.
[09:54] ---
    "True man"? What's that?
[09:57] ---
    A very great man.
[10:00] ---
    You are a girl, right?
[10:02] ---
    A true man can transcend his birth gender.
[10:07] ---
    Huh? That sounds crazy.
    You're a strange person.
[10:12] ---
    Aniki... May I slay her?!
[10:16] ---
    Whoa, hang on!
[10:17] ---
    Sorry, Aoi, but would you give us a minute?
[10:20] ---
    Oh, all right.
[10:24] ---
    Yukimura, how is the Neighbors Club doing?
[10:27] ---
    Sena-anego is engrossed
    in gal games, as usual.
[10:32] ---
    She really is unwavering...
[10:35] ---
    What about the others?
[10:37] ---
    Yozora-anego and Rika-dono haven't
    been to the club room in several days.
[10:42] ---
    Maria-dono occasionally comes to
    have a snack, and then she leaves.
[10:45] ---
    So you and Sena are the
    only ones showing up now?
[10:49] ---
    Yes.
[10:51] ---
    What do I do about this?
[10:55] ---
    Aniki, I'll carry half of those.
[10:57] ---
    Nah, they're not heavy.
[10:59] ---
    Then is there anything else
    I can assist you with?
[11:02] ---
    Not today, I guess.
[11:05] ---
    I see.
[11:06] ---
    I will come back tomorrow, then.
[11:10] ---
    Hey, Yukimura.
[11:12] ---
    Why do you serve me like this?
[11:16] ---
    Because I am your sworn brother.
[11:19] ---
    I'll rephrase the question.
[11:20] ---
    Yes?
[11:22] ---
    Why are you still my sworn brother?
[11:25] ---
    You've realized it by now, haven't you?
[11:28] ---
    I'm not the "true man" you want
    to be--I'm nothing but a wimp!
[11:33] ---
    Yes.
[11:34] ---
    What, seriously?!
[11:36] ---
    Because I am your sworn brother.
[11:38] ---
    Then why the hell haven't you disowned me?!
[11:42] ---
    There's no point to this!
[11:44] ---
    Does there have to be a point?
[11:47] ---
    I am by your side because
    I want to be, Aniki.
[11:55] ---
    Hey... What would you do if
    the Neighbors Club were gone?
[12:00] ---
    Nothing would change.
[12:02] ---
    I would merely keep serving
    you as I always have.
[12:07] ---
    You're really cool, you know that?
[12:09] ---
    No way am I worthy of being your Aniki.
[12:15] ---
    Aniki! I have never been so
    frustrated that I'm not a boy!
[12:22] ---
    Huh?
[12:23] ---
    You're making my heart flutter right now!
[12:26] ---
    Oh, if only I were a brawny man,
    I would overpower you right now
[12:30] ---
    and plunge my raging passion
    into your yaoi hole!
[12:35] ---
    Wh-What are you talking about?!
[12:38] ---
    It's a terrible shame.
[12:40] ---
    What you're saying is a shame!
[12:42] ---
    And there's no such thing as a "yaoi hole"!
[12:45] ---
    You jest. Rika-dono told me...
[12:51] ---
    Really?
[12:54] ---
    Right, her...
[12:58] ---
    Rika?
[12:59] ---
    "Please come to the roof right away.
[13:01] ---
    If you're not here in three minutes,
[13:03] ---
    Rika will broadcast to the whole
    school the secret recording she made
[13:07] ---
    of your dramatic BL reading."
[13:08] ---
    Recording?!
[13:10] ---
    Aniki?
[13:11] ---
    Sorry, but could you deliver those
    to the student council room for me?
[13:15] ---
    All right...
[13:16] ---
    I owe you one!
[13:18] ---
    Aniki--
[13:20] ---
    Good luck in your battle.
[13:22] ---
    Thanks!
[13:32] ---
    Three minutes, twenty-six seconds.
[13:36] ---
    Well, Rika will let it slide.
[13:39] ---
    Oh, yeah? I bet you didn't really record me!
[13:44] ---
    Is this how desperate you've
    been for my d-d-di... ck...?
[13:48] ---
    You seriously did it!
[13:50] ---
    Rika is no soft touch.
[13:53] ---
    And? What's your business with me?
[13:55] ---
    It's nothing you'd call "business"...
[13:58] ---
    Rika just wanted to inflict a little
    torture on a certain Yankee wimp
[14:03] ---
    who had the nerve to act cool and say
    he wanted to "value the Neighbors Club"
[14:06] ---
    and then run away like a pathetic loser.
[14:09] ---
    I'm sorry.
[14:11] ---
    You're quite meek today.
[14:13] ---
    Anything you say to me,
    Rika, I probably deserve.
[14:17] ---
    Punch me, kick me, or whatever else you want.
[14:21] ---
    Very well, then.
[14:25] ---
    What are those?
[14:26] ---
    A form of artillery Rika can control via
    brain waves: The Nine Lives Breaker.
[14:30] ---
    Rika took the name from a powerful
    spell in Fullmetal Necromancer.
[14:35] ---
    No, I mean--
[14:36] ---
    It's simplest to just show you.
[14:39] ---
    Shatter the very soul of Rika's enemy!
[14:46] ---
    You're going way too far!
[14:48] ---
    No punch from a weakling
    like Rika would hurt much.
[14:53] ---
    You're pushing your luck if you think
    you can escape your guilt that easily.
[14:58] ---
    Rika is angry, you know.
[15:01] ---
    She'll use these to beat that habit
    of running away right out of you!
[15:11] ---
    It's not a habit! That day I--
[15:12] ---
    Rika can understand a sudden love
    confession throwing you off.
[15:16] ---
    Rika's angry about what you did afterward.
[15:27] ---
    Over a week later you still
    haven't come back to the club,
[15:30] ---
    and now you're all lovey-dovey with
    the girl who tried to disband us?!
[15:36] ---
    I'm not lovey-dovey with Aoi!
[15:39] ---
    N-Now you're on a first-name basis!
[15:43] ---
    And you're flirting with the
    student council president, too!
[15:46] ---
    How dare you fall for the sex appeal
    of an older woman, you closet lecher!
[15:51] ---
    You're wrong!
[15:54] ---
    I'm not being seduced by sex appeal.
[15:56] ---
    I'm crazy about Hinata-san's
    personality, not her body!
[16:01] ---
    That's worse!
[16:03] ---
    Wait, by "crazy about her" I
    meant I respect her as a person!
[16:07] ---
    Rika wonders!
[16:09] ---
    Knowing you, you probably got in a
    few accidental peeks, didn't you!
[16:14] ---
    H-How did you know?!
[16:16] ---
    You actually did?!
[16:18] ---
    Nobody should be straight out
    of a romantic comedy like that!
[16:23] ---
    I can't take much more!
[16:27] ---
    Artillery she controls with her brain waves?
[16:29] ---
    Are those cat ears the antenna, then?!
[16:33] ---
    Go!
[16:35] ---
    Damn, I can't get close!
[16:37] ---
    Rika asked Sena-sempai when she fell for you.
[16:42] ---
    So, you saved her from
    some boys at the pool, eh?
[16:46] ---
    Apparently even you were
    manly, once upon a time!
[16:48] ---
    Shut up!
[16:50] ---
    And you've been clearing flags ever
    since! You even stayed at her house!
[16:54] ---
    Quit it with the "flag" thing!
[16:56] ---
    On top of that, she's your
    fiancée and childhood friend?
[16:59] ---
    She's a freaking cheat character!
[17:01] ---
    Take that up with her!
[17:05] ---
    Thanks to which Yozora*-sempai* is
    totally withdrawn and depressed!
[17:08] ---
    Of course she is! Our past is
    a precious memory to Yozora,
[17:13] ---
    and it's been supporting her emotionally!
[17:15] ---
    Hmph! If memories and who met you
    first are really that important,
[17:18] ---
    you might as well just suck
    on Mommy's breasts forever.
[17:23] ---
    You can't just force emotions to be rational.
[17:26] ---
    Well, aren't you a nice guy!
[17:30] ---
    You just keep clearing flags
    with one girl after another--
[17:34] ---
    What are you, some oblivious harem-anime hero
[17:36] ---
    who gets all the girls just by being nice?!
[17:40] ---
    A harem-anime hero, eh?
[17:44] ---
    Yeah, don't I wish!
[17:48] ---
    I'd love to give everyone
    I care about a happy ending
[17:51] ---
    just by being oblivious and nice!
[17:55] ---
    But I'm not some harem hero.
[17:58] ---
    I can't help what can't be helped!
[18:01] ---
    That's why I'm so helplessly lost, moron!
[18:03] ---
    Taking it out on Rika? You're pathetic!
[18:05] ---
    I know that!
[18:07] ---
    I've never had this before!
[18:09] ---
    I've never had a place like this
    club, and it's like a miracle.
[18:12] ---
    It's a nice, kind world
[18:14] ---
    where freaks like us can just be
    who we are without holding back.
[18:19] ---
    That's why I don't ever want to wreck it!
[18:24] ---
    That's meaningless if it makes
    you hold back, you know!
[18:27] ---
    You always pretend to be oblivious
    and act like some bystander,
[18:30] ---
    and then when you can't, you run away!
[18:32] ---
    What's the point of leaving the
    place you love to protect it?!
[18:36] ---
    We don't want a world protected by that
    kind of cheap self-sacrifice, you jerk!
[18:40] ---
    You don't get to talk, you jerk!
[18:43] ---
    Who's the self-sacrificing one here?!
[18:45] ---
    You're always playing the hyper class clown
[18:48] ---
    while you work like hell
    for us behind the scenes!
[18:51] ---
    You're too fucking good to us!
[18:53] ---
    And you're taking on a thankless
    role right now, too!
[18:56] ---
    So which one of us is holding back?!
[18:59] ---
    What do you want, Rika?
[19:04] ---
    Come on, what the hell do you think?
[19:10] ---
    I want friends, damn it!
[19:39] ---
    Apologies, Sempai.
[19:42] ---
    Rika lied about controlling
    them with her brain waves.
[19:45] ---
    Then what are the ears?
[19:47] ---
    Just a toy. Rika uses her brain
    waves to make them twitch.
[19:50] ---
    Excuse me?
[19:57] ---
    You're a tough fighter.
[20:01] ---
    You, too...
[20:03] ---
    The truth is, Rika could
    barely stay on her feet.
[20:11] ---
    Hey, Kodaka-sempai.
[20:13] ---
    Yeah?
[20:15] ---
    If you can't fix things on your
    own, please, come to Rika.
[20:21] ---
    Rika is a genius, you know!
[20:23] ---
    She'll eat your impossibilities
    for breakfast.
[20:31] ---
    Hey, Rika.
[20:33] ---
    Yes?
[20:34] ---
    Be my friend.
[20:37] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[20:39] ---
    "What did you say," my ass. Idiot!
[20:44] ---
    Don't be absurd.
[20:49] ---
    After all, we're already
    your friends, aren't we?
[20:57] ---
    It was like ten years ago all over again.
[21:02] ---
    I'm not weak!
[21:08] ---
    But Sora isn't here now. And
    neither is proud little Taka.
[21:16] ---
    Just weak, pathetic Hasegawa Kodaka.
[21:22] ---
    Help me, Rika.
[21:25] ---
    Sure.
[21:28] ---
    One for the Neighbors Club
    history books: we made a friend.
[21:35] ---
    "Common Room 4"
[21:44] ---
    Sena.
[21:49] ---
    Sena...
[21:51] ---
    I...
[21:59] ---
    "I'm leaving on a journey. Please
    don't come looking for me."
[22:04] ---
    Huh?!
[22:11] ---
    It looks like our tragically
    flawed youth isn't over yet.
[22:40] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:02] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne
[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da
[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara
[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:47] ---