Season 1

1 - Are You Sure You Haven't Confused Being a God of Flat-brokeness with Being a God of Flat-chestedness?

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] ---
    From olden times, Japan has
    been called a "divine nation."
[00:20] ---
    From the mountains, or the seas,
    down to even a single tree or stone,
[00:25] ---
    it is believed that there dwells
    a deity within each and every thing.
[00:30] ---
    And among all of these deities,
    there is a poverty god realm,
[00:34] ---
    where the gods of destitution dwell.
[00:37] ---
    Currently the balance of fortune
[00:40] ---
    within the human realm is terribly askew.
[00:42] ---
    It is our role, as poverty gods,
    to preserve that equilibrium.
[00:47] ---
    Momiji, please go to the human realm at once.
[00:51] ---
    Honestly, this is such a pain.
[00:53] ---
    Ugh, such an honest girl...
[00:55] ---
    A-Anyhow, she will be your assignment today.
[01:00] ---
    Why...?
[01:01] ---
    Why does this girl have
    watermelons stuck in her chest?
[01:04] ---
    Nah, that can't be. Are those for real?
[01:07] ---
    Amazing!
[01:09] ---
    I do not like this girl!
[01:11] ---
    Don't be jealous, don't be jealous.
[01:13] ---
    Just get down there quickly to
    the source of this mix-up of fortune--
[01:17] ---
    Sakura Ichiko, in the human realm.
[01:20] ---
    Okay, I guess I'll go. It is my job.
[01:22] ---
    Y-Yes, if you please.
[01:27] ---
    While I'm gone, will you remember
    to record Onegai Ranking for me?
[01:30] ---
    Hurry up and go, would you?!
[01:38] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:41] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:44] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:49] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:53] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:55] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[02:02] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[02:06] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[02:10] ---
    Is this right?
[02:12] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[02:18] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[02:23] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:25] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[02:28] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[02:31] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[02:36] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:40] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[02:42] ---
    As you please
[02:47] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[02:49] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[02:52] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[02:57] ---
    and bust it up
SIGN    "Round 1!" "Are You Sure You Haven't Confused Being a God of Flat-brokeness with Being a God of Flat-chestedness?"
[03:10] ---
    "Butsumetsu Taian Municipal High School"
[03:13] ---
    Off you go, now, Miss Ichiko.
[03:20] ---
    Mm-hmm. I'm off.
[03:22] ---
    Good morning, Miss Sakura!
[03:24] ---
    Good morning.
[03:25] ---
    Good morning!
[03:26] ---
    Here are your hallway slippers!
[03:27] ---
    May I carry your bag?
[03:28] ---
    Thanks for always doing this.
[03:32] ---
    Correct!
[03:39] ---
    That Sakura Ichiko really gets on my nerves.
[03:42] ---
    Yeah, Tit-chiko?
    She sure has gone overboard.
[03:46] ---
    If she's going to be that stacked,
    she should at least be dumb.
[03:49] ---
    Seriously, I wish she would just die.
[03:51] ---
    I wish she'd look at the sun
    through a magnifying glass.
[03:53] ---
    If only some evil spirit would possess her.
[04:02] ---
    This is exactly what's wrong with
    commoners looking up from below!
[04:02] ---
    "Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha"
[04:06] ---
    You guys don't even realize
[04:07] ---
    that your jealousy and envy
    serve as my driving force!
[04:08] ---
    "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha"
[04:11] ---
    For all of my 16 years,
    I've lived a lucky, lucky, lucky life!
[04:15] ---
    My good looks!
    My sharp mind! My perfect health!
[04:17] ---
    I have no financial worries,
    and have never had to work for anything!
[04:17] ---
    "Dashing!!"
[04:20] ---
    Every light in front of me is green!
[04:22] ---
    Everything in life is coming
    up roses! But then...
[04:26] ---
    ...life has never been an equal
    proposition in the first place.
[04:30] ---
    If you must blame something,
[04:31] ---
    blame your own misfortune
    in being born ordinary.
[04:38] ---
    W-Whoa-ho!
[04:41] ---
    H-Huh?
[04:43] ---
    What was that just now?
[04:45] ---
    Little girls who have no regard for life...
[04:49] ---
    ...need a lesson in misfortune...
[04:52] ---
    I am here to put you on
    an equal level with everyone else.
[04:58] ---
    How're you doing?
[05:00] ---
    Huh?
[05:02] ---
    What?! What?! What?! What?!
    What was that just now?!
[05:05] ---
    Hey, you there! No running in the hall!
[05:08] ---
    Teacher! Please help!
    There's a major pervert in the restroom!
[05:15] ---
    What?!
[05:16] ---
    "Ichi"
[05:16] ---
    I'll be the one who rescues Miss Sakura!
[05:17] ---
    No, me!
[05:18] ---
    I will!
[05:19] ---
    Class is in session!
[05:22] ---
    What?
[05:23] ---
    There's no pervert here, is there?
[05:24] ---
    --What's come over Miss Sakura?
[05:25] ---
    --Okay, back you go, back you go.
[05:29] ---
    Miss Ichiko,
[05:30] ---
    the bath is ready for you.
[05:33] ---
    Thank you, Suwano.
[05:42] ---
    What was that thing, anyway?
[05:44] ---
    It was too vivid for me
    to have daydreamed it.
[05:52] ---
    Heh, is that too clichéd?
[05:57] ---
    What is the matter, Miss Ichiko?!
[05:59] ---
    Some sicko just appeared!
[06:02] ---
    And don't you ever come back!
[06:07] ---
    Why, you... If that's how you want it...
[06:12] ---
    Excuse me!
[06:13] ---
    Who's there?
[06:15] ---
    It's the idol of the
    poverty god realm, Momiji!
[06:17] ---
    Please, come in!
[06:18] ---
    Thank you.
[06:20] ---
    Eeep!
[06:23] ---
    Why you little monster!
[06:25] ---
    Too bad! You cannot
    touch me in my spirit form.
[06:31] ---
    But then again, I can't do anything, either.
[06:35] ---
    Just who exactly are you?!
[06:39] ---
    I am the poverty god Momiji.
    I'm here from the land of gods.
[06:45] ---
    A poverty god?
[06:47] ---
    That's right.
[06:48] ---
    So? What do you want?
[06:50] ---
    I'm here, you see...
[06:53] ---
    ...to turn you into a regular person.
[06:54] ---
    "Poverty God Gear: Scouter"
[06:56] ---
    No, you're here to make a fool of me!
[06:58] ---
    Oh, sure enough, this is an abnormal level.
[06:59] ---
    "Sakura Ichiko" "Happiness Energy"
[07:02] ---
    And what's worse, you're
    absorbing happiness energy
[07:04] ---
    --from everyone around you,
    little though it may be.
[07:05] ---
    --You're not making any sense!
[07:07] ---
    What are you looking at with that thing?!
[07:10] ---
    "Momiji" "Unhappiness Energy"
[07:11] ---
    Happiness energy and
    unhappiness energy levels.
[07:14] ---
    Ugh, this thing's filthy.
[07:17] ---
    All right, now,
[07:19] ---
    listen to me carefully.
[07:20] ---
    All living things inherently
    have a quantity of energy
[07:21] ---
    "Fish" "Insects" "Dogs"
    "Dandelions" "Birds"
[07:24] ---
    that brings them good fortune,
    which we call "happiness energy."
[07:25] ---
    "People" "Sa... yans"
[07:28] ---
    "Strays" "The Surfaces of Cutting Boards"
    "Restructuring" "Famine" "Drought"
[07:29] ---
    By contrast, energy that
    brings about calamity to oneself
[07:32] ---
    "Notwithstanding Being a Prince"
[07:33] ---
    is "unhappiness energy."
[07:34] ---
    Currently, the balance of these two energies
[07:36] ---
    in the town of Butsumetsu
    is terribly out of whack.
[07:40] ---
    The cause of this, Sakura Ichiko... is you.
[07:44] ---
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[07:47] ---
    Call it a divine mishap,
    or a messed up setting,
[07:51] ---
    but the happiness energy you possess
[07:52] ---
    "Tits" "Normal Person"
[07:53] ---
    is far greater than that of a normal person.
[07:56] ---
    And as if that wasn't enough,
[07:58] ---
    you're abso-r-r-bing the
    energy of those arou-ou-nd you,
[08:01] ---
    and that's causing trouble for e-e-veryone.
[08:03] ---
    Why is she doing Lupin?
[08:05] ---
    So, after my happiness energy goes down,
[08:08] ---
    and I become what you call a
    "normal person," what happens to me?
[08:12] ---
    Let me show you.
[08:14] ---
    "Shocking!! The truth about
    Ichiko's future now revealed!?"
[08:15] ---
    Good evening. This is
    your newscaster, Momiji.
[08:17] ---
    Ichiko, who will fail to enter any of her
    choices for college in the near future,
[08:21] ---
    will soon lose her home, suddenly
    finding herself out on the streets.
[08:24] ---
    However, luckily enough, she will be taken in
    by a kind-hearted man, parenthetical snicker,
[08:25] ---
    "Occupation unknown"
[08:28] ---
    and later on, she will marry him.
[08:30] ---
    They will have five children,
    and build a warm family together,
[08:33] ---
    parenthetical guffaw.
[08:34] ---
    I look exhausted, don't I?!
[08:36] ---
    Such is the unhappy future that awaits you,
[08:39] ---
    if only in my mind...
[08:40] ---
    That's what you want?!
[08:43] ---
    Well, even if it doesn't happen
    like that, it won't be too long.
[08:45] ---
    But that's not what the issue is here.
[08:49] ---
    If you keep on absorbing
    the happiness energy of others,
[08:53] ---
    unconsciously though it may be,
[08:54] ---
    you're going to make those around
    you who are dear to you unhappy, too.
[08:59] ---
    My objective is twofold:
[09:02] ---
    To take away your power to absorb
    the happiness energy of others,
[09:06] ---
    and to take that ridiculous amount
    of happiness energy away from you,
[09:09] ---
    and return it to where it should be.
[09:11] ---
    I-I've heard just about enough of this!
[09:13] ---
    I have to be unhappy for the sake
    of the happiness of others?
[09:16] ---
    You've got to be kidding, you poverty god!
[09:20] ---
    Ah... you may be a god,
[09:24] ---
    but are you sure you haven't confused
[09:24] ---
    "God of Flat-brokeness"
[09:26] ---
    being a god of flat-brokeness with
    being a god of flat-chestedness?
[09:26] ---
    "God of Flat-chestedness"
[09:33] ---
    You want me to suck all
    of that fat right out of you?!
[09:35] ---
    That's a sore point with you?!
[09:37] ---
    Your consent is not a factor.
[09:40] ---
    I will execute my duty,
    even if I have to do it by force.
[09:43] ---
    What is that creepy-looking plushie?
[09:48] ---
    This is a poverty god item.
[09:50] ---
    Um... Miss Tanaka, it's just
    about your injection time desu.
[09:56] ---
    You just made that up
    while you were saying it, huh?
[09:57] ---
    "Tee-hee"
[09:59] ---
    I'll use this to draw out
    your happiness energy.
[10:01] ---
    What?!
[10:01] ---
    Hold on, you don't seriously
    mean to stick me with that thing!
[10:06] ---
    It's okay, it's okay.
[10:08] ---
    It's built to make sure
    that you feel the pain!
[10:10] ---
    You're just trying to stab me to death!
[10:14] ---
    Wah! It moves!
[10:16] ---
    Nicely done, Kumagai!
    Now, just hold her right there!
[10:19] ---
    You're not sticking me!
[10:21] ---
    "Squish"
[10:22] ---
    Huh?
[10:23] ---
    Kumagai, shake it off!
[10:27] ---
    I have any number of different ways...
[10:31] ---
    --...of getting through the wall!
[10:34] ---
    --Then, go ahead and get out!
[10:37] ---
    Just give up!
[10:41] ---
    Ow!
[10:48] ---
    Why, you poverty god!
[10:56] ---
    "I'm taking you with me! Say your prayers!"
    "D-i-e!!"
[11:01] ---
    Suwano... Suwano, wake up!
[11:04] ---
    Oh... What am I doing out here?
[11:07] ---
    Don't just sit there going dotty,
    go get rid of these two somewhere.
[11:11] ---
    What's this?
[11:12] ---
    Quite the stylish friend you have here...
[11:15] ---
    Where is your train of
    thought, you dirty old man?!
[11:19] ---
    Oof...
[11:20] ---
    Little girl, don't go thinking
    that I'm going to just give up.
[11:26] ---
    "But the girl's happiness energy is, in fact,
    greater than your unhappiness energy."
[11:27] ---
    I hate to admit it, but you're right.
[11:30] ---
    Are we sure she's not the
    reincarnation of a god of fortune?
[11:34] ---
    What are you smiling at?
[11:36] ---
    Please, keep your eyes on the road and drive.
[11:38] ---
    I'm terribly sorry about that.
[11:40] ---
    This is the first time that
    Miss Ichiko has brought home a friend.
[11:44] ---
    I'm not her friend.
[11:45] ---
    By the way, are you her butler?
    It must suck to be you,
[11:49] ---
    having to take care of that girl year-round.
[11:52] ---
    No, not at all.
    I have been fortunate enough
[11:58] ---
    to serve at Miss Ichiko's side
    since the day she was born.
[12:01] ---
    --Through both the fun
    times and the sad times,
[12:01] ---
    --Eat your green peppers!
[12:02] ---
    --No!
[12:04] ---
    --they are all precious memories to me.
[12:05] ---
    --You have to at least be
    able to defend yourself!
[12:08] ---
    --One-two!
[12:10] ---
    I ask that you please
    continue to be her friend.
[12:12] ---
    I already told you, I'm not!
[12:14] ---
    The truth is, she really is very lonely.
[12:20] ---
    Is that a fact?
[12:22] ---
    By the way...
[12:23] ---
    ...where is it that you wish to go?
[12:26] ---
    You're asking me now?
[12:28] ---
    I have returned.
[12:30] ---
    Suwano, you are not to let
    her back into the house, okay?
[12:34] ---
    There you go again.
    She is a fine friend, isn't she?
[12:38] ---
    No, she's not! And she's not my friend!
[12:44] ---
    Suwano...?
[12:46] ---
    B-By the way, tomorrow
    is your birthday, Miss Ichiko.
[12:50] ---
    Oh, it is?
[12:51] ---
    I'm looking forward to whatever
    yucky dish you're cooking for me.
[12:54] ---
    Yes, I will work extra
    hard in preparing it for you.
[12:59] ---
    Miss Sakura!
[13:00] ---
    Happy birthday to you!
[13:03] ---
    Shut up, you guys!
[13:05] ---
    --Miss Sakura prefers it Japanese style!
[13:05] ---
    --We're in the middle of class!
[13:09] ---
    If it weren't for that
    poverty god, I'd be at peace.
[13:15] ---
    Setup complete...
[13:17] ---
    I can just see her when she
    gets rattled out of her mind.
[13:21] ---
    The poverty god item
    "Gabriel 2011," a nifty little device
[13:25] ---
    which absorbs happiness
    energy while inflicting pain.
[13:28] ---
    "Can't the butler also get caught in it?"
[13:29] ---
    Whoops.
[13:30] ---
    "How thoughtless"
[13:32] ---
    "Ex-queeze" the intrusion...
[13:40] ---
    Oh, dear...
[13:45] ---
    What was that?!
[13:46] ---
    Are you all right?!
[13:47] ---
    "I need to tell you something."
[13:47] ---
    Ugh! Kumagai, was it?
[13:50] ---
    "The butler collapsed. Go to the hospital."
[13:54] ---
    What's going on?!
[13:56] ---
    Is this out of the blue? Or is
    this the poverty god's doing?
[13:59] ---
    What is this?! What is this?!
[14:04] ---
    I don't need this... I don't need this...
[14:09] ---
    An acute cardiac infarction?
[14:11] ---
    Yes. We have to operate immediately.
[14:15] ---
    However, please prepare yourself
    for the worst, just in case.
[14:18] ---
    Does he have any other family members?
[14:20] ---
    No. He lost his wife four
    years ago, and right now,
[14:23] ---
    I'm the only family he has.
[14:26] ---
    What are you doing, Suwano?
[14:29] ---
    What are you doing, lying in that bed?
[14:32] ---
    That's not where your bed is.
[14:41] ---
    "Happy Birthday, Miss Ichiko"
[14:46] ---
    T-Too sweet! Suwano, didn't
    you put too much sugar in here?
[14:51] ---
    Not to mention, it's too big.
[14:53] ---
    When he gets home,
    I'll have to set him straight.
[14:58] ---
    Suwano... today... is my birthday...
[15:04] ---
    I hate Papa! I hate Mama!
[15:07] ---
    Today is my birthday!
[15:09] ---
    This happened last year,
    and the year before, too!
[15:12] ---
    Suwano, you stay with me, okay?
    You'll always stay with me, okay?
[15:17] ---
    Well of course I will.
[15:19] ---
    Suwano will always be
    by your side, Miss Ichiko.
[15:25] ---
    No...
[15:27] ---
    Suwano, no... Don't die...
[15:34] ---
    Too sweet! This is even more saccharine
    than the thinking of Japanese politicians.
[15:38] ---
    What are you doing here?
[15:40] ---
    I'm eating cake.
[15:42] ---
    You did this, didn't you?
[15:44] ---
    No, I didn't.
[15:45] ---
    You're the one who did
    that to Suwano, aren't you?!
[15:48] ---
    No, I didn't. You did.
[15:52] ---
    I warned you, didn't I?
[15:54] ---
    He doesn't have anything
    but unhappiness energy left.
[15:58] ---
    Over the long time that
    you two have lived together,
[16:01] ---
    you have sucked out
    all of his happiness energy.
[16:05] ---
    I have to be unhappy for
    the sake of the happiness of others?
[16:08] ---
    You've got to be kidding!
[16:11] ---
    "Happy Birthday, Miss Ichiko"
[16:11] ---
    Happiness is surely something that
    you share with others, you know?
[16:16] ---
    No matter how fancy your cake may be,
[16:18] ---
    if you have no one to share it with,
    you may as well not have it.
[16:22] ---
    D-Don't you... Don't you talk
    to me about being... unhappy!
[16:29] ---
    You aren't unhappy enough yet.
[16:32] ---
    But if you can keep from
    making anyone else around you
[16:35] ---
    go through what Mr. Suwano
    has, you'll really...
[16:39] ---
    I get it. Just... do as you please.
[16:43] ---
    A wise decision.
[16:47] ---
    "Fortune" "Wealth" "Wisdom" "Good luck"
[16:47] ---
    That's an amazing amount. Well done.
[16:51] ---
    The unhappiness energy
    you've been suppressing
[16:53] ---
    will bring some misfortune for a short while,
[16:55] ---
    but over time, as you acquire more virtue,
[16:57] ---
    you'll be able to have the same
    life as other normal people.
[17:00] ---
    Oh, yeah? That's good.
[17:02] ---
    I was actually getting tired
    of all the special treatment.
[17:07] ---
    This has been a good lesson for me.
[17:08] ---
    Yeah.
[17:12] ---
    That's a lie, you bonehead!
[17:15] ---
    You idiot!
[17:15] ---
    "Do not unseal"
[17:16] ---
    If it means giving up my
    happiness to a poverty god,
[17:19] ---
    I'll gladly be a dictator who
    monopolizes it, instead! Bye-bye!
[17:26] ---
    What just happened? Is it what I think?
[17:29] ---
    Girl, are you seriously...
[17:31] ---
    Are you seriously...
[17:34] ---
    ...making me mad?!
[17:45] ---
    "Rumble, rumble"
    "Meow" "Meow" "Meow"
[17:48] ---
    "Rumble, rumble"
[17:48] ---
    This isn't possible!
[17:51] ---
    "Rumble, rumble"
[17:52] ---
    I'm through trying to make you unhappy.
[17:56] ---
    Now I'm gonna kill you!
[17:58] ---
    That's the job of the Grim Reaper,
    not a poverty god, isn't it?
[18:01] ---
    It doesn't matter!
    If I don't, my soul is gonna snap!
[18:05] ---
    Charge!
[18:22] ---
    I just have to get to
    the operating room now...
[18:27] ---
    Now you've gone and done it, huh? Imagine,
[18:30] ---
    you trying to use that to save Mr. Suwano...
[18:34] ---
    Then sure enough, I *can
    *use this to save him, huh?
[18:37] ---
    I had my doubts as to whether
    or not that was possible.
[18:40] ---
    Whoops.
[18:42] ---
    Either way, you are not
    going to get your way with me!
[18:49] ---
    Uh-oh, I don't think a written
    apology is going to cover this one.
[18:54] ---
    "Good luck"
[18:55] ---
    Whoa, for real?
[18:58] ---
    They're all four-leaf clovers!
[19:02] ---
    Doctor, we're losing him!
[19:04] ---
    This could be it.
[19:05] ---
    Suwano... Suwano...
[19:09] ---
    Suwano...
[19:13] ---
    Hang in there, Suwano.
[19:16] ---
    Ah, it's a pair of Miss Ichikos...
[19:20] ---
    You just have to come back.
    If you don't do as I tell you,
[19:25] ---
    there's going to be hell to pay.
[19:34] ---
    You know something, I've gone and ruined
[19:37] ---
    your very special birthday, Miss Ichiko.
[19:40] ---
    Really, if you're this healthy,
    I'm a fool for having worried.
[19:44] ---
    Well then, I will accept any
    punishment you give me.
[19:47] ---
    Oh, yeah. Well, Suwano...
[19:50] ---
    Yes?
[19:51] ---
    As of today, you're fired.
[19:53] ---
    Okay.
[19:54] ---
    Huh?
[19:55] ---
    Let's see,
[19:57] ---
    you openly barge in on me while bathing,
[19:59] ---
    you have a seizure and
    collapse on my birthday,
[20:00] ---
    and your cake is too sweet. If you...
[20:04] ---
    If you try hard, you could
    probably live another 30 years, right?
[20:10] ---
    Move to the countryside,
    where the air is better,
[20:13] ---
    find someone, and get remarried, okay?
[20:18] ---
    Miss Ichiko,
[20:20] ---
    thank you very much.
[20:22] ---
    Y-You should be upset with me,
    saying, "How can you be such a tyrant?"
[20:26] ---
    I should be?
[20:27] ---
    Yes!
[20:29] ---
    Yes, of course.
[20:31] ---
    Miss Ichiko...
[20:34] ---
    Thank you for looking
    after me all these years.
[20:38] ---
    Mm-hmm, that goes double for me.
[20:42] ---
    This is for the best, right?
[20:45] ---
    If he stays with me for
    long, then once again...
[20:48] ---
    It's no big deal. I mean,
    I've kind of been on my own up to now.
[20:53] ---
    Yeah, it's no big deal.
[20:56] ---
    "One Week Later"
[20:58] ---
    That poverty god hasn't shown
    up again. I wonder if she went home.
[21:02] ---
    It's been one week. Being alone
    isn't so bad, once you're used to it.
[21:06] ---
    I'm home!
[21:08] ---
    Welcome back!
[21:10] ---
    Dear, would you like supper?
    Would you like a bath? Or perhaps...
[21:15] ---
    ...you'd like to be unhappy?
[21:18] ---
    Why of course, I want...
[21:20] ---
    ...to know what you're doing!
[21:24] ---
    Oh... Sure enough, that
    happiness energy is back again.
[21:25] ---
    "Sakura Ichiko" "Happiness Energy"
[21:28] ---
    Huh?
[21:29] ---
    "Pops (1-2%)"
    "Boobs (nearly all)"
[21:30] ---
    You see, most of the energy that was released
[21:33] ---
    came right back to you again.
[21:35] ---
    Oh-ho, which means...?
[21:37] ---
    Mind if I do you in again?
[21:40] ---
    No thanks.
[21:41] ---
    Don't "no thanks" me!
[21:42] ---
    You want some of this, bonehead?!
[21:43] ---
    You bet! It might be best for this
    world if we go to some other one!
[21:47] ---
    Go ahead and take your best shot, if you can!
    It's not like I've got anything more to lose,
[21:50] ---
    you... poverty god!
[22:12] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[22:16] ---
    she leans up against him
[22:20] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[22:24] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[22:28] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[22:35] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[22:43] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[22:46] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[22:51] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[22:54] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[22:58] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[23:02] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[23:06] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[23:09] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[23:14] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[23:19] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[23:23] ---
    --Give me some of those boobs!
[23:23] ---
    --Excuse me...
[23:24] ---
    --You, with a huge bust? That's gross!
[23:25] ---
    --Excuse me...
[23:26] ---
    --What?!
[23:26] ---
    --What?!
[23:27] ---
    Special delivery.
[23:28] ---
    Ah, it's from Suwano.
[23:28] ---
    "To: Miss Sakura Ichiko"
[23:31] ---
    "We're getting married."
[23:32] ---
    We're getting married.
[23:34] ---
    --That was fast!
[23:34] ---
    --That was fast!
[23:36] ---
    "This week's"
[23:37] ---
    This week's
[23:37] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:38] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:40] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone!
[23:42] ---
    Did you all see my
    charming exploits this week?
[23:47] ---
    All right, then, one more time!
[23:51] ---
    "The mysterious monk,
    Bobby, arrives in Butsumetsu."
[23:51] ---
    "Sacred gear in hand, a fierce battle
    erupts between Ichiko and Momiji"
SIGN    "Next time: This, Indeed, Has the 'The Battle Between God and Girl Now Begins' Feel to It."
SIGN    "Next time: gym shorts, a bamboo sword, and a perverted monk" "Please watch for it"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering by:
    Yoshiaki Sukeno"

2 - This, Indeed, Has the 'The Battle Between God and Girl Now Begins' Feel To It

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    The town of Butsumetsu...
[00:25] ---
    This is it. No doubt about it. I sense it.
[00:30] ---
    It's somewhere within this town.
[00:34] ---
    Good morning, Miss Sakura.
[00:36] ---
    Good morning.
[00:37] ---
    You look pretty today.
[00:39] ---
    I know.
[00:43] ---
    Good morning, Miss Sakura.
[00:49] ---
    Wha--?!
[00:57] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:00] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:03] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:08] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:12] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[01:14] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[01:20] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[01:25] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[01:29] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[01:31] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[01:37] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[01:42] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:44] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:47] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:50] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:55] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:59] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[02:01] ---
    Omou mama ni
[02:06] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[02:08] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[02:11] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[02:16] ---
    kowashite yuke
[02:23] ---
    "Round 2!" "This, Indeed, Has 'The Battle
    Between God and Girl Now Begins' Feel to It"
[02:28] ---
    Like I told you...
[02:31] ---
    I'm thinking up and acting
    on a whole lot of things.
[02:35] ---
    If you keep rushing me like this,
[02:37] ---
    I'm just going to lose my drive, instead.
[02:40] ---
    B-But...
[02:41] ---
    ...as a god, you shouldn't stay
    in the human realm too long.
[02:45] ---
    There's a chance that you may
    affect the energy balance there.
[02:48] ---
    Then please, allow me to
    take more active measures!
[02:52] ---
    I can't take what I otherwise
    could sneaking around like this!
[02:55] ---
    "Annoyance"
[02:56] ---
    You little...
[02:59] ---
    Very well.
[03:01] ---
    As long as you can keep
    from revealing to others
[03:04] ---
    that you are a poverty god,
    then perhaps, just a little...
[03:08] ---
    You mean I can kill her?!
[03:09] ---
    Eh? Kill her...?
[03:11] ---
    Your objective is to seize
    Sakura Ichiko's happiness energy
[03:15] ---
    and keep it under control.
[03:16] ---
    --My ¥10 is almost up...
[03:17] ---
    --Any other actions are--
[03:18] ---
    "Yawn"
[03:21] ---
    All right, let's go.
[03:24] ---
    And so, our transfer student
    will now introduce herself.
[03:28] ---
    "Binboda Momiji"
[03:29] ---
    What a pain.
[03:30] ---
    It is not.
[03:32] ---
    Everyone, it's nice to meet you.
    My name is Hinkongawa Momiji.
[03:37] ---
    Uh, let's see, my hobby is cosplaying,
[03:40] ---
    my favorite word is "fetters,"
    and showboating is my specialty.
[03:44] ---
    Let's see... The type of
    boy I hate is one who says
[03:48] ---
    "Everything!" when asked
    "What do you like in a girlfriend?"
[03:51] ---
    I thought she was supposed to be a god!
[03:53] ---
    What is she doing, transferring in here?!
[03:56] ---
    I think my periods are fairly light.
[03:58] ---
    My favorite sexual position is--
[03:59] ---
    Okay, that's enough.
[04:01] ---
    And wasn't your name something else?
[04:03] ---
    I don't care, whatever.
[04:05] ---
    Okay, Binboda, you sit next to Sakura.
[04:13] ---
    Pleasure to meet you, Miss Sakura.
[04:15] ---
    The pleasure's all mine, Miss Binboda.
[04:18] ---
    By the way, the flatness of
    your chest is absolutely sheer, huh?
[04:21] ---
    Tell me, do you feel like you're
    surrounded by Odorondo valley?
[04:23] ---
    Are you calling my chest a "haunt of evil"?
[04:26] ---
    What about your chest?
    It's like hearing one of Gian's recitals.
[04:29] ---
    It's just revolting!
[04:33] ---
    "Sizzle"
[04:39] ---
    Okay, stop there, you two.
[04:44] ---
    So now you've come to school,
    have you, you poverty god?
[04:49] ---
    She plans to take my happiness
    energy if I give her an opening.
[04:52] ---
    Think again. Things won't go
    quite as easily as you imagine.
[04:57] ---
    Gym is a serious drag.
[04:59] ---
    It's seriously "darvish."
[05:01] ---
    But never mind about that...
[05:04] ---
    I'm ready, if you please!
[05:06] ---
    Why doesn't anyone take
    any issue with her getup?!
[05:09] ---
    Mai, don't go holding back on her,
    just because she's a transfer student.
[05:13] ---
    Read you loud and clear!
[05:16] ---
    Die, you!
[05:20] ---
    Oh, I'm so sorry!
[05:23] ---
    Misa! Snap out of it!
[05:25] ---
    It missed us! It missed us, okay?
[05:28] ---
    Th-That jerk!
[05:30] ---
    "Science Room"
[05:31] ---
    You there, young man!
[05:33] ---
    Don't horse around when
    there are alcohol burners lit!
[05:43] ---
    What's the matter, Sakura?
[05:45] ---
    Oh, nothing. The flame singed my notebook.
[05:49] ---
    Tch!
[05:52] ---
    This is definitely her doing.
[05:54] ---
    You think I'm going to
    fall for an old trick like this?
[05:57] ---
    "Crash"
[05:59] ---
    "1 ton"
[06:01] ---
    Aw, I guess falling for your charms
    isn't the only falling going on.
[06:05] ---
    Are you telling me to die?!
    Are you telling me to die?!
[06:08] ---
    And, with that, the entry is registered...
[06:10] ---
    "ZZZ..."
[06:11] ---
    Calm down, now. Just calm down.
    If I let the poverty god trip me up,
[06:14] ---
    "ZZZ..."
[06:16] ---
    I'll be playing right into her hand, won't I?
[06:17] ---
    "ZZZ..."
[06:21] ---
    I can't look at it! I can't look at it!
[06:23] ---
    There's nothing important
    written on it, anyway!
[06:25] ---
    But I have to know...
[06:28] ---
    "Rustle"
[06:29] ---
    "Blank"
[06:31] ---
    You're a pest, you know that!
    You're an incredible pest!
[06:35] ---
    What's the matter with Miss Sakura?
[06:37] ---
    She seems out of sorts today.
[06:38] ---
    "Whisper, whisper"
[06:39] ---
    "Poof"
[06:42] ---
    The gild is coming off the lily now, huh?
[06:47] ---
    "Dejected"
[06:49] ---
    I'm exhausted. It's not a matter
    of keeping calm or not now.
[06:54] ---
    Why that poverty god!
[06:57] ---
    She's walking all over
    me however she pleases!
[07:00] ---
    "What is up with Miss Sakura today?" "Did
    something happen with the transfer student?"
[07:01] ---
    The whole class has ended up
    wondering what's happening.
[07:03] ---
    Aah! If this keeps up, my whole persona--
[07:07] ---
    the position I've built
    myself up to occupy will be...
[07:10] ---
    I have to come up with some
    way or other to drive her away.
[07:18] ---
    Such predicament...
    Such serious predicament...
[07:21] ---
    Me so hungry, can't take another step.
[07:25] ---
    W-What?!
[07:27] ---
    Oh, what beautiful young lass.
[07:31] ---
    Our meeting here must be some sort fate.
[07:33] ---
    No, you just grabbed
    my leg as hard as you could.
[07:36] ---
    I am traveling monk! If
    possible, I much obliged
[07:39] ---
    if you give me dinner, bath, place to sleep,
[07:42] ---
    restroom and toothbrush tonight!
[07:44] ---
    You sure ask a lot!
[07:45] ---
    "Nuzzle"
[07:45] ---
    That out of way, lass,
    you have such fine skin!
[07:49] ---
    You depraved monk!
[07:49] ---
    "Wham"
[07:51] ---
    Ah, geez, what the hell is this?!
[07:55] ---
    I mean, really,
[07:56] ---
    nothing has gone right since
    that poverty god showed up.
[08:01] ---
    Why is my room so messed up?
[08:04] ---
    These were put away in the closet.
[08:06] ---
    Don't be such a spoiled
    baby, just deal with it.
[08:10] ---
    The poverty god's voice?
[08:12] ---
    Home is wherever you hang your hat, right?
[08:14] ---
    Before long, you'll become
    used to how cramped it is in here.
[08:17] ---
    --Huh? Dorae--?
[08:17] ---
    --Welcome home, Nobita!
[08:19] ---
    Don't tell me you fancy yourself
    as a robot cat from the future!
[08:23] ---
    "Ah"
[08:24] ---
    "Eh"
[08:30] ---
    "Oh, you want it bigger?"
[08:31] ---
    A poverty god item!
    The timespace expansion device,
[08:35] ---
    the lucky mallet carpenter!
[08:40] ---
    I'm imagining things,
    I'm imagining things. Right?
[08:44] ---
    Port side, the barrage is too thin.
[08:49] ---
    1501... 1502...
[08:52] ---
    Gah! Ichiko, you perv!
[08:57] ---
    Listen, you! At least knock before
    you open the door! Try it again!
[09:06] ---
    Wait, what am I laughing about?!
[09:09] ---
    Keep your cool, keep your cool.
    Calmly come up with a solution...
[09:13] ---
    Oh, momma!
[09:16] ---
    There's no question.
    That's the same smell as momma.
[09:21] ---
    "Keep your cool!" "Keep your cool!"
[09:25] ---
    Keep Your Cool Kick!
[09:25] ---
    "Smack"
[09:27] ---
    "Whack" "Whack" "Whack"
[09:28] ---
    It's just one thing after
    another! What's next?!
[09:30] ---
    J-Just a minute!
[09:31] ---
    I get it!
[09:32] ---
    --You're one of the poverty god's pals, huh?!
[09:33] ---
    --C-Calm down, first!
[09:35] ---
    Judging by the situation I've witnessed,
[09:37] ---
    you're being haunted by something
    inhuman, huh? Isn't that right?
[09:40] ---
    "Iron"
[09:42] ---
    Don't think that I can't
    be of any use to you here!
[09:46] ---
    Your name is Sakura Ichiko, is it?
    Hmm, that is a fine name.
[09:51] ---
    My name is Bobby. I am on
    a pilgrimage throughout Japan,
[09:51] ---
    "Bobby"
[09:51] ---
    "My first meal in a week"
[09:54] ---
    to vanquish any evil spirits.
[09:57] ---
    How many pizzas is he going to eat?
[09:59] ---
    I came to this city because there
    was a foul presence coming from it.
[10:04] ---
    When I met you this evening,
[10:06] ---
    I could see that this
    presence had encompassed you.
[10:09] ---
    It caught my attention, so I followed you.
[10:12] ---
    Wait, you're speaking normally now!
[10:14] ---
    Yeah.
[10:15] ---
    My mama taught me that if
    you act like a foreigner in trouble,
[10:18] ---
    any Japanese person will be nice to you.
[10:22] ---
    Bring your mama here! I'll set her straight!
[10:24] ---
    But the poverty god isn't
    an evil spirit, she's a deity.
[10:27] ---
    You've got your religions crossed.
[10:29] ---
    Not to worry.
[10:31] ---
    There's a thing called
    Shinto-Buddhism syncretism.
[10:32] ---
    Just as the great god
    Amaterasu became Vairocana,
[10:35] ---
    and Hachiman became Tathāgata Amitābha,
[10:38] ---
    in Japan, deities and Buddhas both
[10:40] ---
    have been considered
    the same from times of old.
[10:43] ---
    In Japan, the land of gods,
[10:45] ---
    there is no such thing
    as a wall between religions.
[10:48] ---
    Then...
[10:49] ---
    Then again,
[10:50] ---
    you may be better suited
    to drive her away than I am.
[10:55] ---
    What do you mean?
[10:57] ---
    As I said a moment ago, I came to this city
[11:00] ---
    in pursuit of an evil
    presence emanating from it.
[11:03] ---
    From you, I learned that
    it is the flat-chested girl
[11:06] ---
    with hair down in her eyes
    that you call the poverty god.
[11:09] ---
    I'll kill you!
[11:11] ---
    However,
[11:12] ---
    Sakura Ichiko, it is also
    certain that there is something
[11:15] ---
    similar, yet different, from
    the poverty god, coming from you.
[11:17] ---
    Huh? Don't tell me you
    can see happiness energy!
[11:21] ---
    My spiritual awareness is extremely high!
[11:24] ---
    Well, it's not crystal-clear,
    but I can vaguely make out something
[11:28] ---
    enveloping you right around here...
[11:30] ---
    "Honk"
[11:30] ---
    Yoink!
[11:33] ---
    "Smack"
[11:34] ---
    I'm joking! It was just
    a joke! It was an accident!
[11:34] ---
    "Wham" "Crash" "Kapow" "Smack"
[11:37] ---
    My hand has a mind of its own!
[11:40] ---
    So say something! At least say something!
[11:42] ---
    Don't be so serious, say something!
[11:43] ---
    "Mama, help me!" "Don't laugh this off!!"
[11:44] ---
    Don't be so seriously upset! Say something!
[11:47] ---
    But I am seriously upset,
    you perverted degenerate monk!
[11:51] ---
    So, what can you do, besides
    make with the gropey hands?
[11:56] ---
    U-Use this.
[12:00] ---
    "Somin Shorai Charm"
[12:01] ---
    What is it?
[12:02] ---
    It's an item that I made
    to vanquish evil spirits,
[12:06] ---
    the Somin Shorai.
[12:08] ---
    Somin Shorai is the name of
    a deity that granted divine protection
[12:11] ---
    to ward off plague and calamity
    from the god Susanowo, you see.
[12:15] ---
    Since you have more spirit power than I do,
[12:17] ---
    you should be able to bring forth
    the true power of the Somin Shorai.
[12:23] ---
    Is that right?
[12:24] ---
    Also, if you wear this,
[12:27] ---
    you will be able to raise
    your spirit power even higher.
[12:30] ---
    Clothes?
[12:32] ---
    They are no ordinary clothes.
    This is the attire of a priestess,
[12:35] ---
    the link between god and man...
[12:37] ---
    A priestess?
[12:41] ---
    This kind of looks cool after all!
[12:44] ---
    ...which I have modified.
[12:47] ---
    "Guts"
[12:56] ---
    What is this? Now that I put it on...
[12:59] ---
    Yahoo!
[13:01] ---
    It was worth the three days and
    nights I worked straight to make it.
[13:05] ---
    This is sacrilege, you know!
[13:07] ---
    All is in readiness! Now, go, Sakura Ichiko!
[13:13] ---
    "Thank you for your loyal readership"
[13:15] ---
    This, indeed, has the
[13:16] ---
    "The Battle Between God
    and Girl Now Begins" feel to it.
[13:20] ---
    What's with this page from
    a manga that's being cancelled?!
[13:22] ---
    Well, we're about to break for a commercial.
[13:24] ---
    What, right now?!
[13:33] ---
    "Extraneous Round!"
[13:35] ---
    "-- Just before Momiji
    transfers to school -- (part 1)"
[13:51] ---
    Say, which way do you think is best?
[13:54] ---
    "They're all just so-so"
[13:56] ---
    "-- Just before Momiji
    transfers to school -- (part 2)"
[14:02] ---
    Kewpie!
[14:05] ---
    Too short, huh?
[14:08] ---
    Oh, this isn't bad.
[14:10] ---
    Say, which way do you think is best?
[14:13] ---
    "Sailor."
[14:14] ---
    Oh.
[14:21] ---
    Come on out, poverty god!
[14:23] ---
    Today is the day we settle this!
[14:27] ---
    Keep it down, will you?
    What time do you think it is?
[14:34] ---
    Th-That... outfit you're wearing...
[14:40] ---
    She snickered at me!
[14:42] ---
    I'm sorry for snickering.
[14:43] ---
    You fool! If you're going to do cosplay,
    you've got to dress your heart, too!
[14:44] ---
    "You called me a fool?!"
[14:47] ---
    Then what kind of character
    design is this supposed to be?!
[14:50] ---
    Here, look this way...
[14:51] ---
    "Click"
[14:53] ---
    Hey, you! Don't go taking
    pictures without asking first!
[14:56] ---
    That's it! I'm joining the newspaper club!
[14:58] ---
    O-Oh, no you don't!
[15:01] ---
    The front page is all mine!
[15:04] ---
    Of all the things to go aggro on me for...
[15:07] ---
    Do you really think you can drive
    me away with a Somin Shorai charm?
[15:11] ---
    Huh? How does she...?
[15:13] ---
    Well, it's no surprise
    that she knows what it is.
[15:16] ---
    She is a god, right?
[15:18] ---
    Never mind about that...
[15:21] ---
    It came out perfectly!
[15:23] ---
    I wonder what the boys in the class
    will think when they see this!
[15:29] ---
    I'm not doing this because I want to.
[15:32] ---
    If only you weren't here, none
    of this would have ever happened!
[15:37] ---
    I will not... let you
    screw up my life anymore!
[15:46] ---
    This is it, all right!
[15:53] ---
    W-What is all that?
[15:58] ---
    Amazing.
[16:00] ---
    "She made her happiness
    energy materialize!!?"
[16:00] ---
    I knew that she wasn't a normal human being,
[16:05] ---
    but she's being a real pain!
[16:06] ---
    Your time is up today, poverty god!
[16:09] ---
    In your dreams!
[16:15] ---
    Damn, that was my front-page scoop!
[16:23] ---
    These guys all look adorable,
    but attack mercilessly.
[16:28] ---
    Are they a reflection
    of Ichiko's personality?
[16:33] ---
    Watch out!
[16:34] ---
    Watch out!
[16:37] ---
    You're not getting away! After her!
[16:41] ---
    Geez, this isn't a battle anime.
[16:49] ---
    All right! We've got her cornered!
[16:52] ---
    Why, you...!
[16:59] ---
    Take that, and that, and that!
    Rest in peace, would you?!
[16:59] ---
    "Bam" "Pow" "Foosh"
[17:02] ---
    Yow-w-w! Rest in peace, you say?!
[17:05] ---
    I'm a god! And knock it off, already!
[17:12] ---
    Man...
[17:14] ---
    Ah, what a hassle.
[17:18] ---
    It's a hassle, but what else can I do? I...
[17:23] ---
    ...will not accept your
    apologies for this anymore.
[17:28] ---
    What?
[17:30] ---
    Energy materialization.
    Did you think that I couldn't do
[17:35] ---
    anything that you could do?
[17:45] ---
    Go! Show her the cursed
    power of a poverty god!
[17:50] ---
    Bring it, if you dare!
    I'll make sure you never face me again!
[18:01] ---
    Huh?
[18:04] ---
    Go, she tells us. What do you want to do?
[18:07] ---
    Ugh, this is seriously "darvish."
[18:10] ---
    Hey, come on, you guys.
[18:12] ---
    Let's pretend we didn't hear her.
[18:14] ---
    She shouldn't be summoning us for just this.
[18:17] ---
    Seriously. Let's watch some TV.
[18:19] ---
    What is this?
[18:20] ---
    That, you see, is...
[18:22] ---
    ...since, owing to my personality,
    I am easily annoyed,
[18:25] ---
    these fellows, who were born
    of my unhappiness energy,
[18:28] ---
    naturally have easily annoyed
    personalities. That explains that.
[18:32] ---
    Oh, yeah? You don't say...
[18:38] ---
    Time!
[18:39] ---
    Overruled!
[18:43] ---
    I-I did it...
[18:46] ---
    I won! I get the feeling
    that I lost a lot, as well...
[18:51] ---
    ...but in your face, you poverty god!
[18:56] ---
    She has completely forgotten about me, huh?
[19:05] ---
    I see. So you're saying,
[19:07] ---
    even when you went at her all-out,
    you still couldn't beat her.
[19:12] ---
    I understand, Momiji. Why don't we regroup?
[19:15] ---
    Come back to the poverty god realm for now.
[19:19] ---
    No, please let me try a
    little longer on my own.
[19:23] ---
    But...
[19:25] ---
    I... I do have...
[19:29] ---
    I have my pride, you know! You get me?!
[19:36] ---
    Huh? What's this? Has she ever
    been that motivated before?
[19:44] ---
    We start reformulating a strategy tomorrow.
[19:47] ---
    Thank you, as always. Cough, cough.
[19:52] ---
    Even when you went at her all-out,
    you still couldn't beat her.
[19:57] ---
    That little girl...
[19:58] ---
    I've never been so humiliated!
    I will take you out, no matter what!
[20:04] ---
    Just you wait and see!
[20:12] ---
    It's nice that the poverty
    god is gone, and all, but...
[20:16] ---
    I think that things have
    gone from bad to worse!
[20:19] ---
    Not my fault.
[20:20] ---
    How can you not know how to put them back?!
[20:22] ---
    If I don't know, I don't know.
[20:24] ---
    Uh... can I get something to chill this beer?
[20:28] ---
    Aah! Don't touch anything!
[20:31] ---
    I'm home.
[20:32] ---
    Hey, you! Why are you
    coming back like it was normal?!
[20:34] ---
    You can't go announcing "I'm home"!
[20:59] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[21:03] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[21:07] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[21:11] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[21:15] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[21:23] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[21:30] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[21:33] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[21:38] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[21:42] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[21:45] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[21:49] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[21:53] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[21:56] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[22:01] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[22:07] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[22:12] ---
    "Extraneous Round!"
[22:14] ---
    "-- A new strategy --"
[22:18] ---
    Kumagai, I've come up with
    a way to catch Ichiko off her guard.
[22:23] ---
    Any girl as stubborn as that girl
    is actually quite innocent and pure.
[22:29] ---
    Ichiko, you know what?
[22:33] ---
    Babies, it turns out,
    aren't really delivered by storks.
[22:42] ---
    "-- Thinking up merchandise --"
[22:46] ---
    When you're given a mere 3-month anime run,
[22:48] ---
    you can't afford to roll over
    and not take the initiative.
[22:51] ---
    That being said, I thought up
    some ideas for character merchandise
[22:54] ---
    to increase our popularity.
[22:56] ---
    "Groan"
[22:58] ---
    What do you think about this?
[23:00] ---
    "Boi-ing"
[23:01] ---
    The Sakura Ichiko boob mousepad!
[23:03] ---
    Huh? Aren't those played out?
[23:06] ---
    This one is more novel.
[23:08] ---
    "Fla-at"
[23:09] ---
    A first-ever! The even-surfaced
    Momiji boob mousepad!
[23:15] ---
    Lady, that's just a regular
    mousepad, you know!
[23:22] ---
    Why, you...!
[23:24] ---
    You were in on it, too, weren't you?!
[23:27] ---
    "This week's"
[23:28] ---
    This week's
[23:28] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:29] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:31] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone!
[23:34] ---
    Did you all see my
    tremendous exploits this week?
[23:38] ---
    All right, then, one more time!
[23:40] ---
    How brilliant!
[23:43] ---
    Doubling up! I don't know when to quit!
[23:46] ---
    "Tomorrow never knows!"
SIGN    "The guy who has been asleep in the classroom in the seat next to Ichiko all this time wakes up"
SIGN    "Next time: 'Taking Orders from You Kinda Ticks Me Off!!!' 'What Do You Mean, Kinda?!!'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: Her classmate
    doesn't have any money"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

3 - Taking Orders From You Kinda Ticks Me Off!!! What Do You Mean, Kinda?!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[00:24] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[00:27] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[00:32] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[00:36] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[00:38] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[00:45] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[00:49] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[00:53] ---
    Is this right?
[00:55] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[01:02] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[01:06] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:09] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:12] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:15] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:20] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:24] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:25] ---
    As you please
[01:30] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[01:33] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[01:36] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[01:40] ---
    and bust it up
[01:47] ---
    Suwano's on his honeymoon.
[01:50] ---
    Miss Ichiko, how are you?
    Have you grown accustomed to living alone?
[01:56] ---
    Please give my regards to
    your nurse friend, as well.
[02:00] ---
    I told him, she's not my friend.
[02:05] ---
    Hilarious! That's really hilarious!
SIGN    "Round 3!" "Taking Orders from You Kinda Ticks Me Off!!!" "What Do You Mean, Kinda?!!"
[02:17] ---
    Hey, what are you doing,
    taking it easy in my home,
[02:19] ---
    watching Suberanai Hanashi?!
[02:22] ---
    Listen to me!
[02:24] ---
    Look, you should actually be
    grateful that I'm staying here.
[02:29] ---
    That annoying ability of yours
    to suck up the happiness energy of others
[02:34] ---
    is canceled out by me being next to you.
[02:36] ---
    The reason for that is this.
[02:39] ---
    Poverty god item! The energy barrier emitter!
[02:43] ---
    When used by someone
    with elevated happiness energy,
[02:45] ---
    "Unhappiness"
[02:46] ---
    they are able to repel incoming unhappiness,
[02:49] ---
    and conversely, when someone
    with strong unhappiness energy uses it,
[02:50] ---
    "Happiness"
[02:52] ---
    happiness energy that has been siphoned off
    is bounced back to its original owner.
[02:56] ---
    And you don't want others
    growing any unhappier...
[02:59] ---
    "Crack!"
[03:05] ---
    Mommy!
[03:09] ---
    Tough cookies.
[03:10] ---
    Other than Suwano, there's not
    a single person that I care about.
[03:14] ---
    It doesn't concern me
    what happens to anyone else.
[03:17] ---
    So why don't you go back
    to the land of flat-chested gods?
[03:21] ---
    Why, you...
[03:23] ---
    I'll show you!
[03:24] ---
    "Slam! Bang! Pow!"
[03:25] ---
    Not the land of flat-chested gods,
    the land of poverty gods!
[03:27] ---
    I'll send you there, udder-girl!
[03:28] ---
    Go ahead and send me! With all
    the "udder-girls" gone from the world,
[03:31] ---
    the men of the world and
    the Young Jump editing board
[03:33] ---
    "Yaa-wn"
[03:33] ---
    will lose their cheesecake
    photos, and start riots!
[03:35] ---
    Your very existence is one
    big riot, you bonehead!
[03:37] ---
    Just die, already, for
    the sake of world peace!
[03:39] ---
    Don't you even mention the word "peace"!
[03:44] ---
    Uh-oh...
[03:46] ---
    Have I gone too far?
[03:50] ---
    Ca-atch you la-ater, po-ops!
[03:54] ---
    "Hiss"
[03:55] ---
    Uh-oh.
[03:56] ---
    I won't forget this!
[04:01] ---
    Geez, what a handful.
[04:04] ---
    Treasure your friends.
    The character for "person"
[04:07] ---
    is written with two people
    supporting each other.
[04:11] ---
    Eh, whatever. She's not my friend, after all.
[04:15] ---
    I'll... kill her...
[04:20] ---
    Although, when it comes to friends...
[04:23] ---
    I have plenty of male friends,
    who all serve as foils.
[04:27] ---
    Besides, I don't need female
    friends who are all jealous.
[04:30] ---
    What other interpersonal
    relationships are there?
[04:33] ---
    Aw, I sure wish I had a boyfriend.
[04:36] ---
    There's no such thing as high
    school life without boys, huh?
[04:39] ---
    No, there's not, is there?
[04:41] ---
    That's it! A boyfriend!
[04:43] ---
    I won't say that I don't want one of those.
[04:46] ---
    There aren't all that many
    boys that would suit me.
[04:49] ---
    I'm not surrounded by princes
    so much as the seven dwarves, and all.
[04:56] ---
    That startled me!
    I guess some people do act like that.
[04:59] ---
    And this guy's been asleep since episode 1!
[05:02] ---
    I don't know his face, either.
[05:09] ---
    W-What?
[05:15] ---
    Can I warm up your bento box for you...?
[05:18] ---
    "ZZZ"
[05:19] ---
    Would you like a straw or some chopsticks...?
[05:22] ---
    I'm not exactly sure why,
[05:25] ---
    but given a boy like him,
[05:26] ---
    it might not be so contrived
    if I made him my prince.
[05:30] ---
    I get it, Suwano--what you mean
    about the character for "person"
[05:33] ---
    being written by having
    people support each other!
[05:36] ---
    That's not supporting each other!
[05:38] ---
    "Hell"
[05:39] ---
    Poverty god item!
    The devil-on-earth's own ears!
[05:43] ---
    Not only can you hear someone from far away,
[05:45] ---
    but you can even hear
    the voice in their mind,
[05:47] ---
    which they don't want
    to be heard, with this item.
[05:52] ---
    Say...
[05:54] ---
    ...you there...
[05:56] ---
    Huh?! He's gone already?!
[05:58] ---
    He sure left in a hurry.
[06:01] ---
    Huh? His school I.D.?
[06:04] ---
    "Tsuwabuki Keita."
[06:06] ---
    What do you know,
    his address is right near mine.
[06:10] ---
    So then...
[06:13] ---
    You came here just to drop this off?
[06:15] ---
    You're a beautiful,
    considerate young lady, aren't you?
[06:17] ---
    Would you like to stay
    and have dinner with us?
[06:20] ---
    I hope you'll continue
    to look out for our son.
[06:23] ---
    Things are moving forward fast!
[06:24] ---
    Three episodes in to a slapstick comedy,
[06:26] ---
    and it's suddenly shifting
    into a love comedy!
[06:26] ---
    "Good Luck Girl! Darkness"
[06:29] ---
    Is this the guiding force
    of happiness energy?
[06:34] ---
    If only she'd just die...
[06:39] ---
    "Run-down"
[06:39] ---
    This is it? It is the right address...
[06:43] ---
    It's not what I fantasized, huh?
[06:46] ---
    You need something here?
[06:48] ---
    Huh? You're that girl from my class, um...
[06:52] ---
    A... I... U...? No... E... O... Ka...
[06:55] ---
    It's "Sa"!
[06:56] ---
    Sakura Ichiko.
    Um, Tsuwabaki, this is yours, right?
[07:02] ---
    Oh, you came here just to drop this off?
[07:05] ---
    My bad. Thanks.
[07:07] ---
    Mm-mm, perfectly okay.
[07:09] ---
    Huh, it would be impolite
    to send you away so soon...
[07:14] ---
    Wanna eat while you're here?
[07:16] ---
    By all means!
[07:17] ---
    There it is! He's still
    as handsome as always,
[07:20] ---
    and given the circumstances,
    his home environment doesn't matter.
[07:23] ---
    I'm home.
[07:25] ---
    Welcome home!
[07:27] ---
    Wow! Brother brought a girl home with him!
[07:30] ---
    Oh, we have company, we have company!
[07:32] ---
    Um... come on... in?
[07:36] ---
    What is this?! The place is teeming!
[07:38] ---
    --How far did you have to go
    for a bottle of soy sauce?
[07:38] ---
    --1... 2... 3...
[07:41] ---
    --I told you, it's cheaper
    during the sales event.
[07:42] ---
    --4...!
[07:47] ---
    We thank you for this meal!
[07:50] ---
    Ryuta, that's three pickles, isn't it?!
[07:53] ---
    We're all only supposed to get two.
[07:55] ---
    Well, I guess you only get one today, Mika.
[07:58] ---
    Why does it have to be me?!
[07:59] ---
    Cut it out, you two!
    And how many times have I told you,
[08:02] ---
    don't point your chopsticks at others?!
[08:03] ---
    We have a guest here today!
[08:06] ---
    I'm sorry we couldn't
    offer you anything better.
[08:10] ---
    Feels like I'm having a little déjà vu.
[08:15] ---
    Okay, gather around!
    Time for a strategy session!
SIGN    "Sakura Ichiko Mental Conference Number 8396842001" "Topic: Do we make Tsuwabaki Keita ours or not?"
[08:19] ---
    It's hard to discount the handsome face.
    That's an added factor.
[08:22] ---
    Under these circumstances,
    do we want to act like the kind of girl
[08:26] ---
    who says "I love children" at
    mixers to be popular with guys?
[08:28] ---
    Would you say something like that?
[08:31] ---
    Wouldn't they tag along with us,
    no matter where we went?
[08:34] ---
    Like on a date? Whoa!
[08:36] ---
    No matter what you do,
    that would become a picnic.
[08:39] ---
    Let's vote on it.
[08:40] ---
    Against!
[08:41] ---
    We decided against it, if you please.
[08:45] ---
    Acknowledged.
[08:48] ---
    That dream was short-lived, huh?
[08:50] ---
    B-By the way, Tsuwabaki,
    where are your father and mother?
[08:55] ---
    They ran off.
[08:57] ---
    The family got into serious debt,
    and ever since they took off,
[09:00] ---
    saying they were looking for
    Tokugawa's buried gold to pay it off,
[09:03] ---
    they haven't come home.
[09:04] ---
    Wow, is he serious?
[09:07] ---
    So you see, I've been
    working all sorts of jobs,
[09:10] ---
    to make sure they all get fed.
[09:12] ---
    So that's why you're always asleep at school.
[09:15] ---
    I always work the night shift.
    But just looking at these guys,
[09:19] ---
    that fatigue just melts away somewhere.
[09:24] ---
    What's wrong?
[09:26] ---
    "The poor man has no leisure," huh?
[09:29] ---
    I wouldn't be able to put
    up with living like this.
[09:32] ---
    Don't say that.
[09:34] ---
    Besides, even without money,
    we're all doing all right,
[09:38] ---
    and as long as we can all
    laugh together as siblings like this,
[09:40] ---
    that's good enough.
[09:41] ---
    All together as siblings, huh?
[09:43] ---
    But if you had money, you could
    all get along even better, right?
[09:48] ---
    There are all sorts of things that
    are more important than money.
[09:52] ---
    Such as what?
[09:54] ---
    The question itself is already out of place.
[09:57] ---
    That's not really an answer.
    What must you be thinking?
[10:02] ---
    If you had money,
    you could live in a bigger house,
[10:05] ---
    and you could eat food that was better, too.
[10:07] ---
    Am I wrong?
[10:08] ---
    You've really got a nasty personality, huh?
[10:12] ---
    You're like, cynical, or just twisted.
[10:15] ---
    Wha--? You sound just like the poverty god.
[10:19] ---
    Poverty god?
[10:20] ---
    Okay, then...
[10:22] ---
    Okay, then...!
[10:24] ---
    How about this? Go ahead and use it.
[10:27] ---
    If you were to say whether
    you need it or not, you do, right?
[10:29] ---
    You'll be able to eat something tomorrow
    ten times better than today's stuff!
[10:33] ---
    Amazing!
[10:34] ---
    How much is there here?!
[10:37] ---
    Don't touch it, you two!
[10:39] ---
    I've heard just about enough!
[10:40] ---
    It's okay, Rika.
[10:43] ---
    Sorry, Sakura.
[10:44] ---
    Brother!
[10:47] ---
    No, let me apologize first.
    It's my fault for inviting her in here.
[10:56] ---
    And you, get out!
[10:59] ---
    Brother is mad!
[11:03] ---
    They're right!
[11:04] ---
    Do you have any idea how
    cruel what you just did is?!
[11:08] ---
    Shut up, poverty god!
[11:09] ---
    Who's that? When did she get here?
[11:11] ---
    I'll leave! And you don't have to tell me!
[11:15] ---
    Man! What is with that boy?!
[11:17] ---
    What is with that girl?!
[11:20] ---
    I'm just saying what he'd probably say.
[11:23] ---
    You make it sound like *I'm
    *the only one at fault!
[11:25] ---
    Ugh, for crying out loud, you really
    are only outwardly contented,
[11:30] ---
    but bankrupt on the inside.
[11:32] ---
    Why, you poverty god...!
[11:33] ---
    If you've got something to say to me...
[11:36] ---
    ...then come out and say it!
[11:38] ---
    No, nothing really.
[11:39] ---
    I'm just carrying out my duties, that's all.
[11:43] ---
    Your personal life is none of my business.
[11:46] ---
    What's with her?!
    What's with everyone around here?!
[12:01] ---
    I'm not sure I like the look of those clouds.
[12:04] ---
    There's a typhoon on its way in.
[12:06] ---
    Ugh, it's been a whole day,
    and I'm still feeling irritated.
[12:09] ---
    And here I've got the day off, too.
[12:11] ---
    Ah, it's that icky girl.
[12:13] ---
    Eep! Tsuwabaki's brother!
[12:16] ---
    Brother says that people
    who place money above all else
[12:19] ---
    have hearts that are unclean.
[12:21] ---
    That's why you're an icky girl.
[12:23] ---
    I do have a name--Sakura Ichiko.
[12:26] ---
    Ah, no wonder your breasts are huge.
[12:29] ---
    "Grind"
[12:29] ---
    No, not "Tit-chiko"!
    I said "Ichiko", you dirty little brat!
[12:34] ---
    Another duplicate.
[12:35] ---
    Hey, if you don't want it, I'll take it.
[12:38] ---
    Huh? Buy your own once in a while.
[12:40] ---
    Ryu, you've gotten all of
    yours from others, haven't you?
[12:44] ---
    Oh, this is it!
[12:46] ---
    If I get his siblings on
    my side, then sooner or later,
[12:49] ---
    I'll have him groveling before me,
    saying "I was wrong"...
[12:52] ---
    Okay, okay, let your big
    sister buy that for you.
[12:55] ---
    Huh?! I don't want it!
[12:57] ---
    I said I didn't want it!
[12:59] ---
    Look, just open it, okay?
[13:01] ---
    If it's a lousy card, you can
    always throw it away, right?
[13:06] ---
    Whoa, awesome! That's an ultra-rare card!
[13:09] ---
    You got it first try!
[13:11] ---
    --How's that for luck of the draw?
[13:12] ---
    --You are so lucky!
[13:13] ---
    --That's just happiness energy at work.
[13:17] ---
    Um... Th-Thanks.
[13:21] ---
    But I thought I was an icky girl, wasn't I?
[13:24] ---
    Yeah, but Brother says,
[13:25] ---
    whenever anyone does something
    for me, I should always thank them.
[13:30] ---
    Saying thanks has nothing to
    do with you being an icky girl.
[13:34] ---
    It's okay. It's no big deal.
[13:37] ---
    Really, thanks a lot, Tit-chiko.
[13:40] ---
    That's "Big Sister Ichiko" to you!
[13:45] ---
    That's so cool!
[13:46] ---
    Let me see it again.
[13:48] ---
    I've bought a ton of them,
    and never got that one.
[13:51] ---
    He's not exactly my primary target,
    but it doesn't feel bad.
[13:55] ---
    I guess it's okay.
[13:57] ---
    Even Tit-chiko has her good points, huh?
[14:00] ---
    Oh, what am I going to tell Brother?
[14:03] ---
    If I tell him Tit-chiko
    bought it for me, he'll be mad.
[14:08] ---
    Ryuta, you idiot!
    For real?! Are you kidding me?!
[14:14] ---
    How am I going to find it?
    It's dark... and smelly...!
[14:19] ---
    Huh? This is dangerous.
[14:22] ---
    They must have been doing some sewer work.
[14:25] ---
    Thank goodness, I found it.
[14:28] ---
    I'll have to clean it up once I get home.
[14:31] ---
    Why... is it closed?
[14:37] ---
    I'm home.
[14:38] ---
    What's up with all this rain?
[14:40] ---
    Brother,
[14:42] ---
    Ryu hasn't... Ryu hasn't come home.
[14:44] ---
    I called around to all his friends,
    but he's nowhere to be found.
[14:49] ---
    Are you serious?
[14:51] ---
    Brother... help me...!
[14:54] ---
    Ryu! Ryuta!
[14:57] ---
    Ryuta!
[15:02] ---
    Isn't there anyone else I know
    who might know where Ryu is?
[15:09] ---
    There is one other...
[15:13] ---
    Who could that be, at this hour?
[15:15] ---
    Eep, it's Tsuwabuki!
[15:19] ---
    What is it? You're soaking wet, you know.
[15:21] ---
    Is Ryu here? My younger brother?
[15:24] ---
    No, he isn't.
[15:25] ---
    If you're here to thank me for
    the card, you don't need to.
[15:28] ---
    What about a card? Did he ask
    you to spend money on him?
[15:32] ---
    It wasn't any big deal.
[15:34] ---
    How much?
[15:36] ---
    300 yen.
[15:40] ---
    Come on, Ryu, I can buy that for you myself.
[15:44] ---
    Seems pretty rough,
    being the older brother, huh?
[15:47] ---
    Huh?!
[15:48] ---
    In all honesty, I don't think
    everything you said was wrong.
[15:54] ---
    Ryu really does want to play soccer,
[15:56] ---
    but I can't afford the ball,
    the cleats, or the club fees.
[16:01] ---
    He makes do by playing used games.
[16:04] ---
    I'd like to buy Rika her own desk,
[16:07] ---
    and I'd like to buy Mika and Sorata
    new clothes, instead of hand-me-downs.
[16:11] ---
    I'm not saying that money
    is all you need for happiness,
[16:14] ---
    but I also know that not having
    money can bring unhappiness!
[16:17] ---
    Then go ahead and turn to others!
[16:19] ---
    I can't very well do that.
[16:21] ---
    Why not?
[16:23] ---
    I want to show my brother and
    sisters that even though others
[16:26] ---
    may think we're just being stoic,
    life is more worthwhile...
[16:31] ---
    ...when you make it on your own two feet.
[16:36] ---
    I'm not going to rely on you, at least!
[16:43] ---
    What? If you've got
    something to say, then say it.
[16:48] ---
    No, not really.
[16:52] ---
    Then what do you want?
[16:56] ---
    W-What are you doing?! And what are these?!
[17:00] ---
    Don't you hear it?
[17:01] ---
    Huh? Don't I hear what?
[17:06] ---
    Brother...!
[17:08] ---
    Right now, his little brother
    is in a pretty tight spot.
[17:18] ---
    Oh, no...
[17:21] ---
    Ryu!
[17:23] ---
    Incidentally, the louder the sound you hear,
[17:25] ---
    the closer you are to where it is.
[17:27] ---
    What are you trying to make me do?!
[17:30] ---
    Who can say? But...
[17:33] ---
    Is that...?
[17:35] ---
    Yes. Coming right to the
    point, what if I told you
[17:39] ---
    that you could save that boy
    with your happiness energy?
[17:43] ---
    You will use your happiness
    energy voluntarily
[17:46] ---
    for the sake of someone else.
[17:48] ---
    Effectively, I will have done my job.
[17:53] ---
    Ah,
[17:54] ---
    but you said that other than Suwano,
[17:57] ---
    you don't care about anyone, huh?
[17:59] ---
    Um... Th-Thanks.
[18:04] ---
    I... do not believe that I am wrong.
[18:10] ---
    I don't deny what you said about money.
[18:13] ---
    I want to cut that boy down to size...
[18:16] ---
    Then why don't you go ahead and do it?
[18:19] ---
    I...
[18:21] ---
    ...don't care about anyone else!
[18:23] ---
    Then, what about that boy?
[18:32] ---
    Then go right ahead.
    Assuming that boy isn't just "anyone else."
[18:39] ---
    Oh, one more thing...
[18:42] ---
    Taking orders from you kinda ticks me off!
[18:46] ---
    What do you mean, kinda?!
[18:52] ---
    That dirty bitch...
[18:55] ---
    She's so difficult, isn't she?
[18:58] ---
    "Expecting anything of people is pointless!"
[18:58] ---
    I know that people are
    pretty ho-hum creatures.
[19:02] ---
    But sometimes, they're extremely interesting.
[19:05] ---
    Ryu! Where are you?!
[19:08] ---
    Brother!
[19:10] ---
    Ryu! You big dummy!
[19:12] ---
    What are you doing down
    there?! I'll be right there!
[19:19] ---
    Come here, Ryu!
[19:21] ---
    Just a little more...!
[19:30] ---
    Ryu!
[19:33] ---
    Sakura?!
[19:38] ---
    What am I doing? Like I'm going
    to do what the poverty god says!
[19:43] ---
    But, this boy...
[19:46] ---
    This boy...
[19:48] ---
    Save this boy, happiness energy!
[20:08] ---
    Tit-chiko?
[20:09] ---
    Ichiko!
[20:10] ---
    Ryu!
[20:12] ---
    Brother!
[20:18] ---
    What were you doing?
[20:21] ---
    Well, my card... my card...
[20:25] ---
    "Person"...
[20:28] ---
    The character for "person."
[20:29] ---
    Sakura...
[20:31] ---
    Are you absolutely nuts?
    Luckily enough, you came out okay, but...
[20:35] ---
    Well, if I hadn't gone, you would
    have jumped in the river, right?
[20:40] ---
    Then, you know what? Both you
    and your brother would be dead.
[20:43] ---
    The same goes for you, too, doesn't it?
[20:47] ---
    No, I'd be all right.
[20:49] ---
    What does that mean?
[20:50] ---
    Anyhow, uh...
[20:55] ---
    Thanks. Sincerely, thanks.
[20:59] ---
    I'm sorry I yelled at you, and everything.
[21:02] ---
    Come on, you thank her, too!
    You owe her your life.
[21:08] ---
    Thank you, Tit-chiko.
[21:12] ---
    Ichiko!
[21:18] ---
    Suwano, if you'd been here,
    I'd have wanted you to hear it.
[21:23] ---
    I don't understand it entirely
    myself, but at that moment,
[21:27] ---
    I felt this kind of warmth in my heart.
[21:31] ---
    Hmm, you've grown, Ichiko.
[21:34] ---
    It looks like a little kindness toward
    others has sprouted in your heart.
[21:37] ---
    Well, no time like the present.
[21:39] ---
    Can I have some of your happiness energy?
[21:42] ---
    "Snap!"
[21:44] ---
    Why, you! You're always, always
    breaking my gear like it's nothing!
[21:48] ---
    How much do you think one of these costs?!
[21:50] ---
    I don't get reimbursed for these, you know!
[21:52] ---
    Shut up! Getting drained by
    you kinda rubs me the wrong way!
[21:56] ---
    There you go again!
    What do you mean, "kinda"?!
[21:58] ---
    Do you mean psychologically?!
[22:00] ---
    That's right! Ever since I met him,
    I haven't gotten along with him!
[22:03] ---
    No, you jerk! I was a fool to think
[22:05] ---
    that you were starting to develop
    even the slightest human heart!
[22:08] ---
    What am I, some kind of robot?!
[22:30] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[22:34] ---
    she leans up against him
[22:38] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[22:42] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[22:46] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[22:53] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[23:01] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[23:04] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[23:09] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[23:13] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[23:16] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[23:20] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[23:24] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[23:27] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[23:32] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[23:38] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[23:41] ---
    "This week's"
[23:41] ---
    This week's
[23:42] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:43] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:44] ---
    This week, I was here...
    and here... and here...!
[23:47] ---
    I've been appearing more often,
    but this week's segment
[23:49] ---
    is being cut shorter than usu--
[23:51] ---
    "Next week, everyone's favorite,
    an adorable Chihuahua, gets involved"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: 'He Shrank, Didn't He?!'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time:
    Care for a whipping?"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

4 - He Shrank, Didn't He?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:30] ---
    One-two! One-two!
    One-two! One-two! One-two...!
[00:39] ---
    Huh?
[00:45] ---
    What are you doing down there?
[00:50] ---
    Of all the people to show up...
[00:51] ---
    You're still in town, are you?
    Thanks to you helping out with her,
[00:56] ---
    I really got put through the mill.
[00:58] ---
    Well, that is my job, after all.
[01:01] ---
    I can't very well leave this city
    until I have vanquished you.
[01:05] ---
    "Vanquish," huh? Didn't your mama
    teach you to be kind to ladies?
[01:11] ---
    Yeah, well, if you don't have breasts,
[01:13] ---
    I don't see you as being a woman.
[01:16] ---
    Hey! I've got a real jerk
    here! Bring me a spear!
[01:20] ---
    Bring me something like a spear!
[01:23] ---
    Gotcha!
[01:24] ---
    Hey, can you even eat fish out of this river?
[01:27] ---
    It's not a fish that I'm catching!
[01:29] ---
    This is a poverty god item I'm using
[01:31] ---
    to summon a helper from
    the Plain of High Heaven!
[01:33] ---
    Come on over, destitute one!
[01:42] ---
    I-Is that you,
[01:44] ---
    Momo'o?!
[01:45] ---
    Big Sister Momiji!
[01:55] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:58] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[02:01] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[02:06] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:10] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[02:12] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[02:18] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[02:23] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[02:27] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[02:29] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[02:35] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[02:40] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:42] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[02:45] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[02:48] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[02:53] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:57] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[02:59] ---
    Omou mama ni
[03:04] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[03:06] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[03:09] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[03:14] ---
    kowashite yuke
[03:21] ---
    "Round 4!"
    "He Shrank, Didn't He?!"
[03:29] ---
    Is it...
[03:30] ---
    ...really you?
[03:31] ---
    Yeah! Long time no see, Big Sister Momiji!
[03:34] ---
    "Yap-yap"
[03:34] ---
    I waited, and waited,
    and you never came home,
[03:36] ---
    so I was so worried that
    you were being tossed about
[03:38] ---
    by the angry seas of the
    human realm, and brokenhearted,
[03:40] ---
    you had fallen into the
    nightlife trade at some point!
[03:43] ---
    What am I, a musician looking
    to make it big in the city?
[03:46] ---
    I have to admit, Momo'o...
    it has been a long time, huh?
[03:50] ---
    Shake!
[03:51] ---
    Other hand!
[03:52] ---
    Bondage!
[03:56] ---
    All right, good boy! Here's your reward!
[03:59] ---
    This is what you wanted, isn't it?! Eh?!
[04:01] ---
    Yeah! Haven't felt this good in a while!
[04:06] ---
    What is the deal with this guy?
[04:08] ---
    This is Inugami.
[04:11] ---
    Inugami Momo'o.
[04:15] ---
    On closer inspection,
    you're human, aren't you?!
[04:18] ---
    Where does a mere human get off,
[04:19] ---
    casually addressing
    Big Sister Momiji like that, huh?!
[04:23] ---
    His personality is...
[04:24] ---
    ...masochistic!
[04:25] ---
    Yeah, I could tell that by watching.
[04:30] ---
    I came up with a great
    way to steal Sakura Ichiko's
[04:33] ---
    happiness energy from her.
[04:35] ---
    That is, Momo'o, if you will work with me.
[04:38] ---
    I'd be delighted! For you, Big Sister Momiji,
[04:41] ---
    I would go through fire, water,
    even a mountain of needles...!
[04:43] ---
    What a needy little pup he is!
[04:45] ---
    To that end, the first thing
    needed is this boiling water.
[04:50] ---
    Ah, it's whistling.
    What on earth will she do with it?
[04:54] ---
    Drink up.
[04:57] ---
    Hot! Hot!
[04:58] ---
    Whoa, what are you doing?
[05:01] ---
    "You good boys and girls,
    don't try this at home!"
[05:01] ---
    You good boys and girls,
    don't try this at home!
[05:05] ---
    Ohh, here it comes, here it comes!
[05:08] ---
    Here it comes!
[05:11] ---
    W-What in the world?!
[05:14] ---
    When Momo'o reaches
    a certain level of pleasure,
[05:18] ---
    he transforms to become
    his true form as a dog deity.
[05:21] ---
    His true form?!
[05:28] ---
    While dog deities are
    guardians that are revered
[05:31] ---
    for fulfilling their masters' desires,
    and bringing about good fortune,
[05:35] ---
    as a result of their loyalty,
    they are also feared as vengeful deities,
[05:38] ---
    who mercilessly bring about calamity
[05:40] ---
    to those who would do harm to their masters.
[05:45] ---
    Then, this is the vengeful dog deity's...
[05:48] ---
    ...true... form...?
[05:54] ---
    Uh... um...
[05:56] ---
    "Squish"
[05:58] ---
    He shrank, didn't he?
[06:04] ---
    All right, are you ready, Momo'o?
[06:07] ---
    Listen closely. You're the only one
    who can carry out this mission.
[06:19] ---
    Things have been going
    great lately, haven't they?
[06:21] ---
    The poverty god doesn't
    show up too much now, huh?
[06:24] ---
    If she's finally had enough and gone home,
[06:26] ---
    then hooray for me!
[06:33] ---
    "Take me under your woof!"
[06:36] ---
    There she is! That's Sakura Ichiko!
[06:41] ---
    Are you ready, Momo'o?
[06:42] ---
    You're the only one who
    can carry out this mission.
[06:46] ---
    Pretending to be a dog,
    get close to Sakura Ichiko,
[06:48] ---
    and steal her happiness energy! That is all!
[06:50] ---
    "That's something you call a 'mission'?!"
[06:52] ---
    "Also, where is the determination
    you had in episode 2?"
[06:56] ---
    Yeah, well, you see, it doesn't
    change how much of a pain this is.
[07:01] ---
    Also, Momo'o, if you are successful,
[07:04] ---
    I will give you the greatest
    reward you've ever had.
[07:08] ---
    The greatest reward I've ever had?!
[07:11] ---
    "Aiyee!"
[07:12] ---
    No, that's not S&M,
    that's just an execution, isn't it?
[07:15] ---
    "Snicker"
[07:16] ---
    Just leave it to me, Big Sister Momiji!
[07:18] ---
    It is the lot of dog deities
    to fulfill their masters' wishes.
[07:21] ---
    Take this, human! Secret technique!
[07:23] ---
    "Temptation"
[07:24] ---
    Temptation.
[07:36] ---
    What the...?!
[07:38] ---
    How?! How is it that my
    Temptation doesn't work on her?!
[07:41] ---
    Something seemed very deliberate about that.
[07:44] ---
    Excuse me, Miss Sakura...
[07:46] ---
    Oh, yes, Mr. Super?
[07:48] ---
    We don't really forbid keeping pets here,
[07:51] ---
    but could I at least ask you
    to keep him on a collar and leash?
[07:55] ---
    Pet, you say...?
[07:59] ---
    Y-You've got it wrong! This dog isn't...
[08:01] ---
    "Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!"
[08:03] ---
    It sure looks to me like
    the dog knows you, though.
[08:06] ---
    W-What's going on?
[08:07] ---
    There will be a terrible fuss
    if he bites a child or anything.
[08:10] ---
    The responsibility falls
    entirely on the owner.
[08:18] ---
    Why should I have to take the dog?
[08:21] ---
    Oh, well. I guess I'll just find
    someone at school to take him in.
[08:25] ---
    But in the meantime,
    I'm only going to look after you
[08:27] ---
    because I don't have any other choice.
[08:29] ---
    Ha, you fool...!
[08:31] ---
    Once I've gotten inside, it's my ballgame.
[08:34] ---
    After I take your happiness energy
    from you, it'll be over soon enough!
[08:42] ---
    W-What is all of this?!
[08:43] ---
    "Messy"
[08:45] ---
    Aw, the place is all messed up again.
[08:48] ---
    I just ordered housecleaning
    three days ago, too.
[08:51] ---
    It can't get this bad in just
    three days! Man, that stinks!
[08:54] ---
    Nothing to do but order it again, I suppose.
[08:57] ---
    That's why. Up until now,
    her butler, Suwano, did it all for her.
[09:00] ---
    "Hang in there, Miss Ichiko!!!"
[09:01] ---
    At least do your own cleaning!
[09:03] ---
    But it will take more than
    this to make me shy away!
[09:06] ---
    The poverty god item
    I got from Big Sister Momiji--
[09:09] ---
    Gabriel 2012!
[09:11] ---
    A false-teeth-type absorber,
[09:13] ---
    which absorbs happiness
    energy while inflicting pain!
[09:16] ---
    Putting in place...
[09:19] ---
    Ugh, tell me, how do I keep
    the dirty dishes from piling up?
[09:23] ---
    "Answer: How about washing them?"
[09:24] ---
    Oh, well. Let's see, where
    are they, again? Those goodies...?
[09:29] ---
    Target lock on!
[09:32] ---
    Your happiness energy is mine!
[09:35] ---
    Oh, whoops...
[09:36] ---
    Ah! You idiot!
[09:37] ---
    W-Why, you...! I was so close!
[09:39] ---
    "Shichimi chili pepper"
[09:40] ---
    Wah! My eyes! My eyes!
[09:43] ---
    D-Damn, what kind of
    happiness energy does she--
[09:50] ---
    Aw, what are you doing?
[09:52] ---
    Lying down in a place like that...
    You must be pretty tired, huh?
[09:56] ---
    The hell... I am...
[09:59] ---
    "Momo'o"...?
[10:01] ---
    "Momo'o"
[10:01] ---
    That's a weird name.
[10:11] ---
    You're completely vulnerable, human!
[10:14] ---
    Once you're asleep, I don't care
    how much happiness energy you have,
[10:16] ---
    there's no way you can avoid me!
[10:19] ---
    You're through!
[10:25] ---
    Is this her happiness energy at work, too?
[10:27] ---
    Or is she just a fitful sleeper?
[10:32] ---
    Ah... that feels so good...!
[10:34] ---
    No! If I experience any greater pleasure,
[10:35] ---
    "Squeeze"
[10:36] ---
    I'll return to my human form!
    Damn it, human, you will not best me!
[10:41] ---
    Just a moment, please, Big Sister Momiji!
[10:44] ---
    "Crack"
[10:48] ---
    And what do you think she said then?!
[10:50] ---
    She held up her own breasts and said,
[10:52] ---
    "Are you sure you haven't confused
    being a god of flat-brokeness
[10:54] ---
    for being a god of flat-chestedness?"
    Isn't that cruel?! Isn't that cruel?!
[10:57] ---
    Milk! You should drink more milk!
[10:59] ---
    I do drink it! I've been
    drinking it for a hundred years!
[11:01] ---
    "Oden"
[11:01] ---
    That rotten Tit-chiko!
    Momo'o! Get her for me!
[11:05] ---
    "Note: Momiji is slightly
    older than 100, so she is OK to drink"
[11:10] ---
    "Mash"
[11:28] ---
    I'm returning the quiz we did earlier.
[11:31] ---
    "Math Quiz" "Name Sakura Ichiko"
    "Factor the following expressions."
[11:31] ---
    Seems about right.
[11:32] ---
    Way to go, Miss Sakura.
[11:34] ---
    You're a cut above the rest of us.
[11:36] ---
    Oh, what are you talking about?
[11:38] ---
    "Lie"
[11:38] ---
    I really have to try on these, myself.
[11:40] ---
    There you go again...
[11:42] ---
    --Hooray! Hooray!
[11:42] ---
    --Way to go, Miss Ichiko!
[11:43] ---
    --Ugh!
[11:44] ---
    Hmm. Given the cold shoulder by the girls,
[11:47] ---
    but popular among the boys.
[11:48] ---
    Just as Big Sister Momiji reported.
[11:51] ---
    "Milk"
[11:51] ---
    Now that I know that her happiness
    energy protects her completely,
[11:56] ---
    it's time to take a moment to regroup,
    and learn about my enemy!
[11:59] ---
    After what's become of dear Big Sister...
[12:01] ---
    Ah, my head hurts.
    Some water, please! Some water!
[12:08] ---
    Sakura Ichiko observation record...
[12:11] ---
    Excellent grades.
[12:13] ---
    Masterful at sports.
[12:14] ---
    Her brains and beauty
    are more than ornamental.
[12:17] ---
    Men flirt with her while walking the streets,
[12:19] ---
    --and each time, she soundly fights them off.
[12:19] ---
    --What do you mean, how
    about it for ¥50,000?!
[12:21] ---
    --Her personality is violent.
[12:22] ---
    --You undervalue me!
[12:23] ---
    --Just as has been reported.
[12:26] ---
    She's home.
[12:32] ---
    I'm home!
[12:33] ---
    What's this? She's in a good mood, huh?
[12:42] ---
    This wasn't in Big Sister Momiji's report.
[12:46] ---
    She never, ever makes that
    face at school or in front of others.
[12:50] ---
    What is that? What is she reading?
[13:04] ---
    What is this?
[13:06] ---
    Oh, they're letters from that butler.
[13:10] ---
    I wish it was something more,
    that I could use against her.
[13:13] ---
    I was going through my photos,
[13:16] ---
    and an old one of you came up, Miss Ichiko.
[13:19] ---
    At the time, it was impossible
    to imagine how voluptuous--
[13:22] ---
    that is to say, how beautiful
    you would grow up to be.
[13:26] ---
    There's a little sexual
    harassment included in here.
[13:28] ---
    At Miss Sumire's suggestion,
    I have started taking up Tai Chi.
[13:32] ---
    I am now in the process
    of toughening up my body,
[13:35] ---
    so that I can someday fight
    the man who will be your fiancé.
[13:38] ---
    "If you want Miss Ichiko,
    you'll have to go through me!"
[13:39] ---
    I thought this old man was once
    this close to dying, wasn't he?
[13:44] ---
    Her substitute father, huh?
[13:46] ---
    This man, Mr. Suwano,
[13:48] ---
    is the one and only person
    that she allows into her heart.
[13:51] ---
    Their bond may be even deeper
    than the one had with her true parents.
[13:57] ---
    If only you could direct
    even a tenth of the kindness
[14:00] ---
    you gave to your butler toward other people.
[14:04] ---
    One other poverty god item
    that I got from Big Sister--
[14:07] ---
    the cursing straw effigy man, type mini!
[14:10] ---
    It's an item which, like it or not,
[14:12] ---
    brings unhappiness to everyone
    within a 1-meter radius
[14:15] ---
    when you pull the nail out from its heart.
[14:16] ---
    There's no escaping the curse of this thing.
[14:22] ---
    ...wano... Suwano...
[14:27] ---
    W-What is she doing?
[14:30] ---
    Oh, crap!
[14:31] ---
    Damn! She's not actually awake, is--
[14:34] ---
    Wah! I pulled it out!
[14:35] ---
    "Aaah"
[14:37] ---
    This is bad! I have to get away now,
    or the curse will get me, too!
[14:40] ---
    Ooh...
[14:41] ---
    No, not "ooh!" Can't breathe! Can't breathe!
[14:44] ---
    Let me go...!
[14:49] ---
    Then again, why isn't
    anything happening to her?
[14:52] ---
    Is this due to the protection of her...
[14:54] ---
    ...happiness energy, too...?
[15:00] ---
    Aah! I overslept!
[15:03] ---
    Wait, why is Momo
    sleeping there? Oh well. I'm off!
[15:12] ---
    Excuse us! Housecleaning!
[15:15] ---
    Is it okay for us to just walk in?
[15:16] ---
    It's okay, it's okay.
[15:18] ---
    We're always called in to
    work when no one is at home.
[15:21] ---
    Oh...
[15:22] ---
    Whoa, how dirty! And smelly!
[15:24] ---
    First, we clean up the room.
[15:25] ---
    Apparently, except for the clothes
    and dinnerware lying about,
[15:28] ---
    we're free to throw everything else away.
[15:30] ---
    Also, we're not supposed to touch
    anything on the desk in her room.
[15:34] ---
    Right.
[15:34] ---
    Um, there was a dog lying
    on the bed. What about this?
[15:38] ---
    I doubt we're supposed to throw that away.
[15:45] ---
    It's gone! It's gone! But why?!
[15:48] ---
    Why isn't it here?!
[15:50] ---
    I thought I told you not to
    touch anything on the desk!
[15:53] ---
    As soon as she gets home,
    she becomes so loud!
[15:56] ---
    You didn't touch it?! Then why is it gone?!
[15:59] ---
    Yes, a box with a floral pattern!
[16:01] ---
    Box? Does she mean the box
    with the butler's letters in it?
[16:05] ---
    Huh?! You may have thrown it away?!
[16:07] ---
    Where?! Where did you carry it off to?!
[16:10] ---
    You say it's important,
    but I don't know what to tell you.
[16:13] ---
    All I can say is that if it's in
    the garbage that came in today,
[16:16] ---
    it will be over there.
[16:18] ---
    That's okay. Just let me look for it.
[16:20] ---
    H-Hold on!
[16:21] ---
    It's okay. I'm sure to find it. After all...
[16:24] ---
    After all, I've got happiness
    energy on my side.
[16:27] ---
    Losing it... Losing it is
    absolutely not an option.
[16:34] ---
    This is her brand of unhappiness?
[16:37] ---
    That means that the cursing straw
    effigy man really did work on her.
[16:40] ---
    You could have gotten something
    even more painful, if you wanted to.
[16:44] ---
    Now then...
[16:49] ---
    Nah, once she's become exhausted,
[16:52] ---
    it will be easier to take
    her energy from her.
[16:57] ---
    Is she still at it?
[17:01] ---
    If she's looked this hard,
    and hasn't found it,
[17:03] ---
    it's fair to start thinking
    that it's just not here,
[17:06] ---
    regardless of how high or low
    your happiness energy is, right?
[17:17] ---
    Hmm? Huh? It's morning already?
    I wonder if she's finally gone home.
[17:26] ---
    Young lady! Are you still looking?!
[17:30] ---
    You mean you haven't gone home yet?
[17:32] ---
    I'm okay, just let me be.
[17:34] ---
    --Oh, I'm afraid I can't just...
[17:34] ---
    --W-What is this?
[17:36] ---
    They're just letters, aren't they?
[17:38] ---
    Besides... Besides, you're not
    that kind of person, right?
[17:42] ---
    Sakura Ichiko is a little bitch
    who doesn't give a second thought
[17:45] ---
    to the unhappiness of others
    when it comes to herself.
[17:49] ---
    She is an outrageous girl, who
    contrary to outward appearances,
[17:52] ---
    has a twisted personality,
    is not only haughty and highhanded,
[17:54] ---
    but is also naive, and unable to take a hint.
[17:58] ---
    I have to...
[17:59] ---
    I have to find it! Losing it
    is not an option! After all...
[18:05] ---
    Suwano gave them to me...
[18:08] ---
    Suwano sent me those letters!
[18:16] ---
    Damn it...
[18:17] ---
    Damn it!
[18:21] ---
    W-What?
[18:25] ---
    M-Momo?
[18:27] ---
    How long have you been here?
[18:29] ---
    It's dangerous for you to come here--
[18:31] ---
    Wait, it can't be...!
[18:33] ---
    Is that...?!
[18:35] ---
    Give a dog deity's nose its due.
[18:39] ---
    It's here... It's here...!
[18:44] ---
    It's here!
[18:49] ---
    An outrageous, haughty, and highhanded girl?
[18:53] ---
    Her? She's just a kid, isn't she?
[18:56] ---
    Momo!
[19:00] ---
    Thank you, Momo!
[19:04] ---
    Thank you!
[19:06] ---
    Which is it?
[19:07] ---
    Which is the real you?
[19:11] ---
    Ahh, I stink! And I'm dirty!
[19:14] ---
    First thing I need is a bath, huh?
[19:20] ---
    It was the perfect chance, too...
[19:22] ---
    I'm sorry, Big Sister Momiji.
[19:27] ---
    Your feelings... Your feelings stopped you?
[19:31] ---
    I didn't mean for it to happen.
[19:33] ---
    I wasn't trying to gain
    her gratitude, either.
[19:35] ---
    I just found that...
[19:37] ---
    ...that girl...
[19:39] ---
    ...didn't appear to be the awful
    person you said she was, Big Sister.
[19:43] ---
    That's all.
[19:45] ---
    Yes, I see...
[19:52] ---
    Momo!
[19:54] ---
    Still...
[19:56] ---
    I haven't accepted
    everything about you, all right?
[19:59] ---
    No matter what kind of person you may be,
[20:01] ---
    it doesn't change the fact that
    I will take your happiness energy.
[20:08] ---
    W-W-What on earth is happening now?!
[20:12] ---
    It sure is a good thing you're around, Momo.
[20:15] ---
    And I'll bet it's all thanks
    to my happiness energy.
[20:18] ---
    How can she be so carefree...?
[20:22] ---
    What? Does that feel good there?
[20:25] ---
    No, wait!
[20:26] ---
    Take that!
[20:26] ---
    Stop!
[20:31] ---
    M-Momo...?
[20:33] ---
    Oh, crap!
[20:35] ---
    When Momo'o receives
    pleasure, even other than S&M,
[20:38] ---
    he returns to normal!
[20:39] ---
    Huh? What is this? Don't tell me
    you're with the poverty god!
[20:43] ---
    No! Uh, take it easy!
    Take it easy, and hear me out!
[20:46] ---
    You mean, if I take it easy,
    the fact you've seen me naked...
[20:50] ---
    ...will just disappear?!
[20:53] ---
    Ehh?! Is that supposed
    to come free like that?!
[20:57] ---
    --You were pretending to be a dog
    that whole time to come after me?!
[20:57] ---
    "Bwam"
[20:58] ---
    "Wham"
[21:00] ---
    --I wasn't pretending to be a dog!
[21:00] ---
    "Slam"
[21:01] ---
    "Smack"
[21:02] ---
    --I am a dog!
[21:02] ---
    --Stop talking nonsense!
[21:03] ---
    "Bwam"
[21:04] ---
    "Wham"
[21:06] ---
    Sure enough, what Big Sister
    Momiji said is true!
[21:09] ---
    She's violent! Wait, violent?
    Yes, this violence is still violence!
[21:14] ---
    More! Even harder, please!
[21:18] ---
    You're just a sicko!
[21:20] ---
    Outrageous! Where is there a sicko?!
[21:22] ---
    You're the sicko!
[21:24] ---
    Yes, that's correct!
[21:25] ---
    "Bong"
[21:26] ---
    What's going on? Sounds like fun in there.
[21:29] ---
    Let me get in on it, too!
[21:32] ---
    Huh? Momo'o has been beaten up!
    But he has a pleasant look on his face.
[21:35] ---
    Why, you little jinxes...!
[21:38] ---
    No, don't do it! Momo'o's life is at zero!
[21:41] ---
    I'll send you all back to
    the void where you came from!
[21:45] ---
    Wait, I'm human, over here!
[22:08] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[22:12] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[22:16] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[22:20] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[22:24] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[22:31] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[22:39] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:42] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[22:47] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[22:50] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[22:54] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:58] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[23:02] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[23:05] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[23:10] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[23:15] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[23:20] ---
    Big Sister! Yes, please,
    let me call you Big Sister Ichiko!
[23:23] ---
    Shut up! Go away!
[23:27] ---
    Momo'o...
[23:28] ---
    What's the big idea?!
[23:32] ---
    This is a bear claw of
    pleasure, in its own way!
[23:38] ---
    "This week's"
[23:38] ---
    This week's
[23:39] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:40] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:41] ---
    This week, I was only here!
[23:43] ---
    If you thought my appearances
    would increase with each week,
[23:46] ---
    too bad for you!
[23:51] ---
    "When Ichiko became a child,
    she stopped being Tit-chiko."
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: 'Which One of Us Is
    Flat-Chested, Again? Hm? Hm!? Hm!!?'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'My measurements can't
    be smaller than a little girl's! Part 1'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

5 - Which One of Us is Flat-chested, Again? Hm? Hm?! Hm!!?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] ---
    So, do you have the package?
[00:19] ---
    Don't be in such a rush.
    I have it ready, right here.
[00:25] ---
    Indeed you do. I owe you one.
    It pays to have old friends, huh?
[00:31] ---
    Here, it's the least I can do to thank you.
[00:33] ---
    Uh, no thanks.
[00:35] ---
    Oh, you...!
[00:36] ---
    No, I mean it.
[00:38] ---
    Well then, our business is done.
    I'll be leaving now.
[00:42] ---
    Whoa, what's that?!
[00:44] ---
    It's a turtle!
[00:45] ---
    "Cafeteria"
[00:46] ---
    Sorry, please excuse me...
[00:49] ---
    She's cooking something else up, huh?
[00:57] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:00] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:03] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:08] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:12] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:14] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[01:21] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[01:25] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[01:29] ---
    Is this right?
[01:31] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[01:37] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[01:42] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:44] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:47] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:50] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:55] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:59] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[02:01] ---
    As you please
[02:06] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[02:08] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[02:11] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[02:16] ---
    and bust it up
[02:23] ---
    "Round 5!" "Which One of Us
    Is Flat-Chested, Again? Hm? Hm?! Hm!!?"
[02:31] ---
    A package?
[02:33] ---
    What could it be?
[02:36] ---
    I wonder if it's from Suwano.
[02:37] ---
    "To: Binboda Momiji"
[02:38] ---
    "Screeech"
[02:39] ---
    Why is mail addressed to
    her coming to my home?!
[02:43] ---
    Hmph, I'll bet she had another
    one of those poverty god items
[02:46] ---
    sent to her here.
[02:49] ---
    Then you can just take care of it
[02:51] ---
    before it ever reaches her, can't you?
[02:55] ---
    "I've already nearly been blown up once..."
[02:56] ---
    It's not suddenly going to
    go off, or anything, right?
[02:59] ---
    Well, seems safe enough.
[03:02] ---
    I can just imagine the look
    of frustration on her face!
[03:08] ---
    W-What is this?!
[03:10] ---
    You fell for it, you fool!
    That is a treasure box,
[03:13] ---
    given to me by Mizunoe Urashimako,
    the Urashima-Taro god!
[03:18] ---
    Urashima-Taro gods are
    the deities of long life and marriage,
[03:21] ---
    which connect this existence
    with the world of immortality.
[03:24] ---
    It will be a simple matter to take
    your happiness energy from you,
[03:27] ---
    now that you're an old woman!
[03:28] ---
    Go on, beg for forgiveness,
[03:28] ---
    "Cough cough"
[03:30] ---
    now that the breasts you're so
    proud of are ugly and sagging!
[03:35] ---
    Huh?
[03:40] ---
    Wha-- Huh?
[03:44] ---
    That dumb turtle!
[03:44] ---
    "Heh heh heh, sorry about that"
[03:45] ---
    --He must have gotten his
    treasure boxes mixed up!
[03:46] ---
    --Sorry.
[03:48] ---
    Yeah, but still...
[03:50] ---
    Well, I may have gotten smaller,
[03:52] ---
    but my Somin Shorai can still--
[03:54] ---
    Wait, huh?! Even my Somin Shorai got smaller!
[03:59] ---
    So?
[04:01] ---
    I-I'm not done yet! Come forth,
    my twelve divine generals!
[04:06] ---
    Sure enough!
    They've all become children, too!
[04:11] ---
    So...?!
[04:14] ---
    It wouldn't be much fun to just
    take your happiness energy
[04:16] ---
    away from you so easily.
[04:18] ---
    I'm going to pay you back for all
    the humiliation I've gone through.
[04:23] ---
    How does it feel, having lost
    the figure you were so proud of?
[04:26] ---
    Which one of us is flat-chested,
    again? Hm? Hm?! Hm!!?
[04:30] ---
    We're still about the
    same cup size, aren't we?
[04:35] ---
    Do you mean that?!
[04:47] ---
    "It's a tie"
[04:48] ---
    You're kidding!
[04:50] ---
    That must be some kind
    of mistake! A malfunction!
[04:50] ---
    "Momiji" "Kumagai"
[04:53] ---
    "Crush"
[04:57] ---
    "Okay, Momiji, take it easy"
[04:57] ---
    Hey, don't look at me like that!
[05:01] ---
    It's so galling! Kumagai! Keep an eye on her!
[05:03] ---
    I'm going to the ¥100-store
    to buy my favorite torture item!
[05:06] ---
    "Where do you have that much money?"
[05:08] ---
    We don't have it? Not even ¥100?
    You're kidding, really?
[05:12] ---
    So much for that.
[05:13] ---
    I'll have to find something
    around the house I can use.
[05:17] ---
    You little...!
[05:19] ---
    Hold it right there!
[05:21] ---
    Hey, you!
[05:22] ---
    Are you out of your mind?!
[05:30] ---
    Why, you...!
[05:31] ---
    You're not getting away!
[05:37] ---
    Wait up!
[05:41] ---
    "Slow!!"
[05:46] ---
    What is this? Look at me!
    You've got to be kidding!
[05:50] ---
    She's probably still
    prowling around up there,
[05:53] ---
    so I'll just keep myself hidden down here.
[05:55] ---
    If she finds me, I'm history.
[05:58] ---
    I found you!
[05:59] ---
    Eek!
[05:59] ---
    "Eek!"
[06:07] ---
    Mika, what's the matter?
[06:08] ---
    Non, is this girl one of your friends?
[06:11] ---
    Who is she? I don't know her.
[06:14] ---
    Who is that girl, again?
    Mika... Mika... Mika...
[06:21] ---
    That's it! I remember now!
    She's Tsuwabuki's sister!
[06:25] ---
    Say, do you want to play
    with us? It's hide-and-seek.
[06:29] ---
    Sure, you do, right?
[06:31] ---
    No, um, I...
[06:35] ---
    Uh-huh, sure! I want to play with you, too!
[06:38] ---
    I knew it! It's okay if we let her in, right?
[06:42] ---
    Okay!
[06:43] ---
    Oh, yeah. What is your name?
    I'm Tsuwabuki Mika.
[06:48] ---
    Um... I'm, uh... M-Michiko. I'm Michiko.
[06:53] ---
    Ichiko! Come on out!
[06:58] ---
    For Pete's sake, if you
    hadn't broken the Scouter,
[07:01] ---
    we could have found her in no time.
[07:03] ---
    It may be important to be in the moment,
    but we can't get too carried away.
[07:09] ---
    Oh, they're just regular children.
[07:15] ---
    Bye-bye! See you tomorrow!
[07:18] ---
    See you!
[07:21] ---
    Michiko, aren't you going home?
[07:24] ---
    Oh, no! Up until now,
[07:26] ---
    I was able to get away with
    blending in with these kids,
[07:28] ---
    but a child by herself at this hour
    would stand out that much more!
[07:32] ---
    I've got it!
[07:34] ---
    Um, I sure would like to
    go over to your house, Mika.
[07:39] ---
    My house?
[07:41] ---
    C-Can I?
[07:43] ---
    Please! Go along with it!
    I can't go back to my own home,
[07:47] ---
    and I don't have anywhere else
    I can go where I can keep hidden!
[07:50] ---
    And most of all, it would be
    unthinkable for me to sleep outside!
[07:53] ---
    Mm-hmm, you bet!
[07:55] ---
    Really?
[07:59] ---
    Okay, let's go. It's right nearby.
[08:05] ---
    That gets me out of sleeping outside.
[08:07] ---
    Now, if I can just find a way
    to get my normal body back...
[08:11] ---
    But I don't have any ideas about that.
[08:14] ---
    --Michiko, that's an unusual
    dress you're wearing, huh?
[08:15] ---
    --And there's no one around who will
    understand the circumstances...
[08:17] ---
    --Come on, tell me!
[08:19] ---
    Let me go!
[08:20] ---
    --Holy crap!
[08:20] ---
    --Where is Kinkakuji Temple?
[08:22] ---
    You keep leering at me!
    It's obvious you have an ulterior motive!
[08:26] ---
    What's the matter?
[08:28] ---
    Mika, I'm sorry. Go on ahead.
    I forgot something back at the park.
[08:33] ---
    Huh? But you don't know the way, right?
[08:35] ---
    I'll catch up right away.
[08:37] ---
    I'll walk slowly, okay?
[08:41] ---
    Ah, man, stop pawing at me,
    you perverted monk!
[08:44] ---
    That's good! Nice kicks!
    Lift your leg even higher!
[08:47] ---
    Whoa, this guy's the worst--
    using a puppy as a shield!
[08:50] ---
    Oh, sorry...
[08:54] ---
    He turned into a person!
[08:55] ---
    That is a fantastic kick you have!
[08:57] ---
    Young lady, do you have any
    experience in combat sports?
[09:00] ---
    Th-This is bad!
[09:02] ---
    --These guys are in the wrong show!
[09:03] ---
    --Please, let me help you train!
[09:05] ---
    I would be happy if you thought
    of me as your punching bag!
[09:09] ---
    We got run off on again.
[09:11] ---
    Bobby! Momo!
[09:16] ---
    Who's this? A friend of yours?
[09:19] ---
    Nope.
[09:20] ---
    It's me! Sakura Ichiko!
[09:28] ---
    What kind of nonsense is
    that little girl going on about?
[09:31] ---
    I'm not interested in the Loli types.
[09:33] ---
    Absolutely. I don't understand
    how nothingness can be a weapon--
[09:37] ---
    "Grind, crack, snap"
[09:38] ---
    Listen to me!
    If you can't imagine it in your heads,
[09:40] ---
    then let your bodies listen!
[09:42] ---
    The sharpness of this move
    is definitely Sakura Ichiko's!
[09:45] ---
    Momo, if you're really a dog,
    then your nose will tell you it's me!
[09:49] ---
    Yes! I knew it from the beginning!
[09:51] ---
    In fact, I may have been
    hoping it would turn out like this!
[09:56] ---
    You look delighted, Momo!
[09:59] ---
    Yes, there is a way to return you to normal.
[10:02] ---
    --Really?!
[10:02] ---
    --Mommy, what's that?
[10:03] ---
    --There are two kinds of treasure boxes--
[10:04] ---
    --Don't look at them.
[10:05] ---
    there has to be one that makes people older.
[10:07] ---
    If I had it, I could return to normal?
[10:10] ---
    Probably.
[10:11] ---
    Say, Bobby, Momo, could you
    please find that treasure box for me?
[10:16] ---
    I can't even walk out in
    the open looking like this.
[10:19] ---
    If you find it, I'll give you
    anything you want. Okay?
[10:24] ---
    Do you mean it?!
[10:25] ---
    I'll give you whatever you want.
[10:27] ---
    Huh?
[10:29] ---
    All right! We can go after
    this with a united front!
[10:33] ---
    No! I mean money and food
    and stuff! What are you imagining?!
[10:38] ---
    Big Sister Ichiko!
[10:39] ---
    I'm going to leave that with you.
    If anything happens, please call me.
[10:43] ---
    What is this? A whistle?
[10:46] ---
    Inugami, this is where we
    will be put to the test!
[10:49] ---
    I'll sniff it out!
[10:54] ---
    I wonder if it was a good idea to ask them.
[10:57] ---
    But then, there isn't anyone else.
[10:59] ---
    We're here.
[11:01] ---
    It may be a little cramped, though.
[11:02] ---
    I'm home!
[11:04] ---
    This is the second time I've been here.
[11:06] ---
    It's better than sleeping
    outside, but still...
[11:11] ---
    Ah, you brought a friend?
[11:13] ---
    Pleased to meet you. I'm Rika.
[11:15] ---
    She's my older sister.
[11:18] ---
    That's my brother, Ryuta.
[11:21] ---
    Ryu...?
[11:22] ---
    This is my little brother, Sorata.
    Sora, can you say hello?
[11:27] ---
    P-Pleased to meet you.
[11:29] ---
    "Pleased to meet you?"
[11:32] ---
    He's suspicious!
    What is it, a child's instinct?!
[11:39] ---
    "Smile"
[11:42] ---
    He's just a kid, all right.
[11:43] ---
    I'm home.
[11:45] ---
    And there's the big boss.
[11:46] ---
    That's my oldest brother...
    let's see... A... I... U... E...
[11:53] ---
    "Ke." For "Keita." Friend of yours?
[11:55] ---
    Mm-hmm, this is Michiko.
[11:57] ---
    Hello.
[12:01] ---
    Have we met before somewhere?
[12:05] ---
    Must be imagining things.
[12:08] ---
    We're not done yet.
    The real problems are just starting.
[12:13] ---
    You want to stay over here?
[12:15] ---
    Yes.
[12:15] ---
    Then we'll have to call your folks.
[12:18] ---
    Eh? Uh, that might be...
[12:21] ---
    What?
[12:22] ---
    I don't have a father or mother.
[12:25] ---
    I have no other relatives,
    or any family, or even a home to live in.
[12:28] ---
    Well, you should be with the police, not us.
[12:30] ---
    No, that was all a lie!
[12:32] ---
    Actually, I'm very scared of my father,
[12:34] ---
    since he beats both me and my mother.
[12:37] ---
    That's why I ran away from home.
[12:39] ---
    I'm gonna go smack your old man around.
[12:41] ---
    No, that's a lie, too!
[12:44] ---
    I just want to stay for a little while.
    Do I have to have a reason?
[12:48] ---
    It's a long story, is it?
[12:51] ---
    What choice do we have?
    The bathroom stinks here, though.
[12:54] ---
    Thank you very much! I will
    make sure to pay you back somehow.
[12:58] ---
    Pay us back, huh?
[13:00] ---
    Could this, by any chance, be some
    rich family's daughter, perhaps?
[13:05] ---
    Thank you. Here's a small
    token of appreciation.
[13:08] ---
    You mean it?!
[13:09] ---
    W-With this much, I could buy
    a home, soccer balls, and clothes!
[13:13] ---
    Thank you, Big Brother!
[13:15] ---
    Just a little longer, you guys.
    Just bear with this a little longer.
[13:19] ---
    Why are you crying?
[13:21] ---
    Thank you for this meal!
[13:23] ---
    Mika, your fried prawn is bigger than mine!
[13:27] ---
    Oh, yeah?
[13:28] ---
    --If you're going to complain,
    you can at least help out!
[13:28] ---
    --How many times must I tell you,
    don't point chopsticks at others!
[13:33] ---
    Sorry about it being so loud, Michiko.
[13:35] ---
    It's surprising how constant
    things in this house are.
[13:39] ---
    This has happened before, huh?
    When we had a guest over to eat?
[13:43] ---
    Back when Tit-chiko came over.
[13:45] ---
    Ryuta, are you still using that name?!
[13:48] ---
    Yeah, that rude girl...
[13:52] ---
    What was that girl's problem?
    She shows up out of nowhere--
[13:55] ---
    actually, I don't mind that she came,
[13:57] ---
    but the complete mockery
    she made of this family--
[13:58] ---
    was she mocking us, or looking down on us?
[14:00] ---
    --Is having money all that great?
[14:01] ---
    --She's really holding a grudge.
[14:03] ---
    Rika has gone into sister-in-law mode.
[14:05] ---
    You shouldn't speak about that girl.
[14:08] ---
    You'll give yourself wrinkles.
[14:11] ---
    Is that what you say to
    a 2nd-year middle-schooler?!
[14:14] ---
    Okay, fine. I won't talk about her.
[14:17] ---
    Oh, whoops.
[14:19] ---
    I gotta get to my job.
[14:21] ---
    Is it that late already?
[14:22] ---
    I got tomorrow off, so you
    can all look forward to that.
[14:25] ---
    Really?
[14:26] ---
    Hooray!
[14:28] ---
    Okay, I'm off.
[14:29] ---
    Come back safely!
[14:31] ---
    What happens tomorrow?
[14:33] ---
    A picnic!
[14:34] ---
    Michiko, come with us!
[14:37] ---
    Yeah! Come on, go with us!
[14:39] ---
    Uh, okay.
[14:41] ---
    Hooray!
[14:42] ---
    I can't wait!
[14:45] ---
    What is this?
[14:47] ---
    I felt it when I was here last time, too.
[14:50] ---
    I may be here to stay in hiding,
[14:52] ---
    but this house is stifling.
[14:55] ---
    Why? Why is it...
[14:59] ---
    Why is it so unsettling for me?
[15:04] ---
    I can sense it, Inugami!
[15:06] ---
    What?!
[15:07] ---
    If we go into this establishment,
    we may be able to find some clues!
[15:10] ---
    What are you talking about! It's this way!
[15:13] ---
    For some reason, I'm starting to get excited!
[15:16] ---
    We're about to catch some trouble!
[15:29] ---
    I told you...
[15:31] ---
    ...if you hadn't gotten
    your treasure boxes mixed up,
[15:34] ---
    none of this would have happened.
[15:36] ---
    Oh, no way! It's not my
    fault she ran off on you--
[15:40] ---
    You be quiet!
[15:41] ---
    W-Well, what do we do?
[15:45] ---
    Please, get your treasure
    boxes ready at once.
[15:47] ---
    One to return her to normal, and
    another one to make her an old woman.
[15:52] ---
    No way, no way, no way, no way!
[15:53] ---
    Do you know how much trouble I went through
[15:55] ---
    just to get that first one out of here?!
    Now you want two of them?!
[15:58] ---
    The princess is absolutely
    terrifying when she's angry!
[16:00] ---
    Understood. Never mind.
[16:04] ---
    Instead,
[16:05] ---
    the next time you see me,
    you can say your prayers.
[16:09] ---
    I'll bet you can get plenty of soup stock
[16:12] ---
    from a live turtle that has
    lived over a thousand years.
[16:14] ---
    No way! You mean it?!
[16:17] ---
    All right! I'll manage something!
    But at least give me one week!
[16:21] ---
    Three days! Any longer
    than that, and you're soup!
[16:24] ---
    "Shock"
[16:28] ---
    You know, even if I can get the treasure box,
[16:30] ---
    if I'm unable to locate her...
[16:33] ---
    Ah, geez! Where did you go, Ichiko?!
[16:40] ---
    Oh, yeah... There's only one
    place where she could have gone.
[16:48] ---
    Oh, fine day for a picnic, isn't it?
[16:51] ---
    Hmm?
[16:52] ---
    That's a nicely-done world map. Who made it?
[16:55] ---
    Michiko.
[16:57] ---
    Oh, my.
[17:00] ---
    "Gloom"
[17:02] ---
    I'm sorry.
[17:03] ---
    When I was physically
    turned back into a child,
[17:05] ---
    my autonomic nerves got turned back, as well.
[17:08] ---
    There's no need to apologize, Michiko.
[17:11] ---
    We can always wash the bedding.
[17:14] ---
    So for me to be all of 16,
    and have this... this happen...
[17:21] ---
    Michiko...?
[17:29] ---
    Don't cry, Michiko. Okay?
[17:32] ---
    Putting me through this humiliation...!
[17:35] ---
    If it wasn't for her...!
    Once I get back my normal form,
[17:38] ---
    I'll kill you for sure, poverty god!
[17:43] ---
    I found you.
[17:47] ---
    ♪ La la la la ♪
[17:48] ---
    ♪ Today we're all going on a picnic! ♪
[17:52] ---
    ♪ La la la la ♪
[17:54] ---
    Is that right? You're going as siblings?
[17:57] ---
    Yes, in the Shiratsuyu highlands.
[17:59] ---
    I wonder if there will
    be rhinoceros beetles there.
[18:01] ---
    It'd be way too early for those.
[18:06] ---
    "Aloof"
[18:11] ---
    ♪ La la... la la ♪
[18:14] ---
    ♪ A fun, fun picnic... ♪
[18:21] ---
    We're here!
[18:30] ---
    Here it comes!
[18:31] ---
    --Everyone's so spirited.
[18:31] ---
    --Whoa-ho! Ready?
[18:32] ---
    --And I thought my physical
    fitness was pretty good.
[18:36] ---
    Michiko! Heads up!
[18:39] ---
    "Eeeep!"
[18:39] ---
    --Wah! Michiko!
[18:39] ---
    --Eeeep!
[18:44] ---
    Are you all right, Michiko?!
[18:46] ---
    Geez, what was that?!
[18:49] ---
    Here, take this.
    Wipe off where you got dirty.
[18:51] ---
    A hankie? That's a surprise.
[18:55] ---
    "Tsuwabuki Keita, Tanabata Manor ♪103
    1-10-15 Kandakanbo, Butsumetsu City 101-8050"
[18:56] ---
    Whoa! Is this in case he loses it? How cheap!
[19:01] ---
    If Mika had fallen as spectacularly
    as that, she'd be crying.
[19:06] ---
    But you didn't cry at all, huh?
[19:08] ---
    Good for you, Michiko.
[19:12] ---
    D-Don't treat me like a child!
[19:15] ---
    "Aaaaah!"
[19:15] ---
    --Aaaaah!
[19:15] ---
    --Wah! Brother!
[19:21] ---
    Did I upset her?
[19:22] ---
    Geez, what did you say to her?
[19:28] ---
    Damn it, why? This is hopeless.
[19:32] ---
    Sure enough... Sure enough, when
    I look at Tsuwabuki, I feel on edge.
[19:37] ---
    Is it because he treated me like a child?
[19:40] ---
    I don't know!
[19:46] ---
    Amazing! They're the real thing!
[19:49] ---
    Huh? One's a lot bigger than the others...
[19:57] ---
    Kumagai?!
[20:00] ---
    "Wham!"
[20:01] ---
    Oh, yeah! Caught you!
SIGN    "Pursuit of Mysterious Creatures!! Special Edition" "Spoiled-rotten high-school girl, captured at last!!"
[20:05] ---
    We did it! The Momiji Squad has
    finally discovered a new species!
[20:10] ---
    P-Poverty god...!
[20:13] ---
    I've been waiting a long
    time for this to happen--
[20:17] ---
    for you to be separated
    from Tsuwabuki and the others.
[20:20] ---
    And I brought along my
    Somin Shorai, just to be safe, too!
[20:23] ---
    But with it and Momo's whistle
    in my backpack, there's no point!
[20:29] ---
    Michiko! Where are you?! We're leaving!
[20:33] ---
    Michiko!
[20:35] ---
    What do we do? What if
    she really has gotten lost?
[20:39] ---
    Aw-w, this is because
    Brother got her mad at him.
[20:42] ---
    Come on, now, Ryu!
[20:44] ---
    For now, Rika, you head down
    the mountain with the other three.
[20:48] ---
    Before it gets dark.
[20:49] ---
    Huh?
[20:51] ---
    Wait for me at the bus stop at the trailhead.
[20:53] ---
    It's possible that Michiko is there already.
[20:56] ---
    But...
[20:59] ---
    Take care of Ryu, Mika, and Sora, okay?
[21:02] ---
    M-Mm-hmm...
[21:05] ---
    Brother! Be careful, okay?!
[21:08] ---
    Yeah! I'm on it!
[21:12] ---
    Michiko!
[21:15] ---
    Hey, Michiko!
[21:19] ---
    Maybe I'd better call in
    a search party already... Huh?
[21:22] ---
    Is that...?
[21:26] ---
    Michiko's shoe? Why is there just one?
[21:31] ---
    I-It couldn't be...!
[21:33] ---
    She didn't fall down there, right?
[21:41] ---
    F-For real...?
[22:04] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[22:08] ---
    she leans up against him
[22:12] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[22:16] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[22:20] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[22:27] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[22:35] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[22:38] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[22:43] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[22:47] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[22:50] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[22:54] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[22:58] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[23:01] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[23:06] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[23:11] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[23:15] ---
    I sense that today, we will
    find a lead in this store!
[23:17] ---
    What are you talking about?! It's this one!
[23:19] ---
    Wait, what are we looking for again?
[23:21] ---
    Our lusts!
[23:22] ---
    "This week's"
[23:22] ---
    This week's
[23:23] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:24] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:25] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone!
[23:28] ---
    In this segment, each week,
    my magnificent exploits call into doubt
[23:30] ---
    the unmethodical and disrespectful
    natures of the animation staff
[23:33] ---
    as we take a look back
    willy-nilly with the time left over
[23:35] ---
    from the main episode.
    This week I was here...
[23:38] ---
    ...and here! Now that we've been
    on the air for over a month, finally,
[23:42] ---
    those on the animation staff
    who had their doubts, wondering,
[23:44] ---
    "Huh? this segment makes absolutely no sense
[23:47] ---
    to those who haven't read
    the original comic, does it?"
[23:49] ---
    can all go to hell!
SIGN    "A bit on the serious side for a fifth episode!!" "Just what will happen next week!?"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: Open Your Eye-es!!!!"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'My measurements can't
    be smaller than a little girl's! Part 2'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

6 - Open Your Eye-es!!!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    "Divine Realm, Plain of High Heaven"
[00:22] ---
    Oh, if it isn't Mizunoe Urashimako!
[00:24] ---
    What's wrong? Why the sigh?
[00:27] ---
    Oh, it's Momiji.
[00:30] ---
    Momiji? The poverty god?
    Is she working you like a slave again?
[00:35] ---
    Yeah. She was trying to
    steal the happiness energy
[00:38] ---
    from a human named Sakura Ichiko
    using the princess' treasure box
[00:41] ---
    to turn her into an old woman,
    but because I messed up,
[00:44] ---
    she instead got turned into a child.
[00:46] ---
    She managed to get away,
    and went into hiding
[00:48] ---
    in the house of her classmate, Tsuwabuki,
[00:50] ---
    but when Momiji located her,
[00:51] ---
    she told me to bring her more
    treasure boxes to make sure
[00:54] ---
    she could turn her into an old woman.
    Momiji went on a picnic
[00:57] ---
    and appears to have caught Sakura Ichiko,
[00:58] ---
    and now she's just
    waiting for my treasure box.
[01:00] ---
    Everyone has been working me hard.
    That's why I'm sighing.
[01:05] ---
    Even now, they're making me
    subtly recap the plot of last episode.
[01:09] ---
    No, not so subtly.
[01:16] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:19] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:22] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:27] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:31] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[01:33] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[01:39] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[01:44] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[01:48] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[01:50] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[01:56] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[02:01] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:03] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[02:06] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[02:09] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[02:14] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:18] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[02:20] ---
    Omou mama ni
[02:25] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[02:28] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[02:30] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[02:35] ---
    kowashite yuke
[02:42] ---
    Hey, Michiko!
[02:45] ---
    It couldn't be.
    She didn't fall down there, right?
[02:50] ---
    F-For real...?
[02:57] ---
    "Round 6!"
    "Open Your Eye-es!!!!"
[03:10] ---
    I managed to give them the slip!
[03:11] ---
    "Gaah!!" "Graah"
    "Image of the bear appearing"
[03:12] ---
    "Image of fighting off the bear"
[03:14] ---
    Michiko?
[03:15] ---
    Huh? B-Big Sister?
[03:17] ---
    Thank goodness. You're okay, right?
[03:20] ---
    Huh? S-Say, where's Big Brother?
[03:26] ---
    You weren't together?
[03:29] ---
    Ow...
[03:31] ---
    I fell like crazy there, didn't I?
[03:34] ---
    It's a bona fide miracle that I'm even alive.
[03:38] ---
    Ow!
[03:40] ---
    Ah, damn!
[03:42] ---
    I need to hurry and find Michiko,
    and get back to the others, but...
[03:49] ---
    What am I going to do about work tomorrow?
[03:51] ---
    "Shiratsuyu Station"
[03:52] ---
    Are you sure about this?
[03:54] ---
    There aren't any more
    buses until the morning.
[03:57] ---
    Yes. We'll wait here
    until my brother comes back.
[04:04] ---
    Big Sister...
[04:06] ---
    I-It's all right. He'll be back soon.
[04:09] ---
    Besides, if we were to go
    back without Big Brother,
[04:11] ---
    he'd get lonely, you know?
[04:13] ---
    You're right.
[04:16] ---
    Geez, what are you doing, Tsuwabuki?
    Hurry! Hurry on back here!
[04:25] ---
    N-No... Big Brother...!
[04:29] ---
    Easy, Mika.
[04:31] ---
    He's... He's gone...
[04:34] ---
    Big Brother is gone now, too!
[04:37] ---
    Just like Mom and Dad, he's gone now!
[04:41] ---
    D-Don't be silly, Mika!
[04:43] ---
    No way is Big Brother going to
    leave us and run away somewhere!
[04:47] ---
    You're crying, and now
    Sorata is crying now, too!
[04:49] ---
    Hold on, Ryu!
[04:53] ---
    Stop crying, would you?!
[04:55] ---
    Hey, cut it out, Ryu! Not you, too!
[04:58] ---
    Don't you cry, too...!
[05:04] ---
    Why don't they come home?!
[05:09] ---
    Michiko, where are you going?!
[05:11] ---
    I'm going to go look for Big Brother.
[05:14] ---
    You can't! Michiko, you'll
    just get lost, too!
[05:18] ---
    It's all right.
[05:21] ---
    It's all right, just wait here.
[05:24] ---
    I'm sure... I'm sure I'll...
[05:29] ---
    ...find Big Brother and bring him back here!
[05:32] ---
    Michiko!
[05:34] ---
    Man... What should I do... Big Brother...?
[05:45] ---
    Here's good.
[05:48] ---
    I'm going to leave that with you.
    If anything happens, please call me.
[05:54] ---
    Do I just blow it?
[06:00] ---
    You summon me, and I appear!
[06:02] ---
    You called me, Big Sister Ichiko?
[06:04] ---
    Please, Momo,
[06:05] ---
    can you find the owner of this hankie,
    somewhere on this mountain?
[06:09] ---
    Big Sister, this is a male scent.
[06:11] ---
    Can you do it or not?!
[06:14] ---
    Piece of cake!
[06:17] ---
    I get it, finally--the reason
    why I was so unsettled.
[06:21] ---
    I hate to admit it, but...
[06:23] ---
    Sumptuous meals, money, a big house...
[06:27] ---
    There are tons of things that
    I can have, but that you can't have.
[06:32] ---
    But...
[06:33] ---
    But then, everything...
[06:36] ---
    Everything that I don't have, you do have!
[06:46] ---
    Momo! Did you find him?!
[06:49] ---
    Tsuwabuki!
[06:51] ---
    What are you doing here?!
[06:55] ---
    What are you, dense?!
    What are you doing here, close to death?!
[06:58] ---
    Come on, wake up!
    Tsuwabuki! Wake up, I say!
[07:02] ---
    Your brothers and sisters are
    waiting for you! They're crying!
[07:06] ---
    And here you are, their
    big brother, out here?!
[07:08] ---
    Do you know what will happen
    to those kids if you don't go back?!
[07:11] ---
    I'm not having that, understand?!
    I'm not looking after them!
[07:14] ---
    I'll abandon them!
[07:16] ---
    So... So you have to...
[07:18] ---
    …open your eye-es!!!!
[07:27] ---
    Don't lose your composure.
[07:30] ---
    You've left yourself wide open right now.
[07:38] ---
    Why, you... You even harass me now...?
[07:43] ---
    I had no money, and could
    only buy one in this small size,
[07:47] ---
    thanks to you.
[07:48] ---
    But then, there's enough there
[07:50] ---
    to save one person on the verge of death.
[07:53] ---
    P-Poverty god...?
[07:55] ---
    Yes. I am a poverty god, not a grim reaper.
[07:59] ---
    If someone were to die
[08:00] ---
    while I was in the process
    of taking happiness energy,
[08:03] ---
    they'd do more than just fire me.
[08:05] ---
    You're always saying you're
    going to "kill" me, aren't you?
[08:08] ---
    Oh, Ichi, from the greatest hate
    springs the greatest et cetera.
[08:12] ---
    But then, put another way...
[08:15] ---
    If you decide to let Tsuwabuki die here,
[08:18] ---
    it will mean sending me
    out of the human realm...
[08:23] ---
    That was quick.
[08:24] ---
    Aw...
[08:26] ---
    That could have been
    a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
[08:29] ---
    I'm not all that afraid of you.
[08:32] ---
    It's just that if he were to die now,
[08:35] ---
    I wouldn't be able to sleep at night!
[08:38] ---
    I suppose not.
[08:41] ---
    "Happiness"
[08:41] ---
    No, I suppose not.
[08:52] ---
    Yikes! It's morning already!
[08:58] ---
    Michiko...?
[09:00] ---
    She came looking for me, did she?
[09:03] ---
    Huh?
[09:05] ---
    It's not broken.
[09:07] ---
    And my wound is all closed up.
    Did I dream the whole thing?
[09:13] ---
    All right, let's go home.
[09:17] ---
    Then again, I'm not sure how
    we're supposed to get home.
[09:23] ---
    What's this?
[09:31] ---
    Was this here before?
[09:34] ---
    Do I just follow this?
[09:36] ---
    "Shiratsuyu Highlands"
[09:39] ---
    Oh, awesome! We really did make it back!
[09:46] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[09:51] ---
    --Big Brother!
[09:51] ---
    --Big Brother!
[10:01] ---
    Aw, man, we haven't found
    a single thing, have we?!
[10:04] ---
    Inugami, your so-called
    nose is awfully unreliable.
[10:07] ---
    Then yesterday, you blew off
    the search and disappeared somewhere.
[10:10] ---
    Big Sister Ichiko summoned me!
[10:12] ---
    Besides, with you reflexively
    flirting with every girl you see,
[10:14] ---
    you're no one to talk!
[10:16] ---
    However, there's a new odor
[10:18] ---
    that wasn't there at all until this morning.
[10:21] ---
    So I have no doubt that
    there's an Urashima-Taro deity
[10:23] ---
    here in the human realm.
[10:26] ---
    What's with this guy?! He looks ridiculous!
[10:29] ---
    --Stop babbling that nonsense
    about turtles and gods and stuff!
[10:30] ---
    --Stop it!
[10:31] ---
    --Stop turning me over onto my back!
[10:33] ---
    We found him!
[10:36] ---
    --Scram, you pipsqueaks!
[10:37] ---
    --Give me my turtle!
[10:40] ---
    Thank you very much.
    I don't know how I can thank you.
[10:44] ---
    Never mind the thanks,
    hand over the treasure box!
[10:47] ---
    Wah! Things have gone from bad to worse!
[10:51] ---
    --Hi there, you cute little girls.
[10:52] ---
    --Big Sister...!
[10:53] ---
    --Have one, it's on me.
[10:53] ---
    --Big Sister Ichiko...!
[10:55] ---
    Momo? What is it?
[10:57] ---
    You're going to be thrilled!
    We got our hands on the treasure box!
[11:00] ---
    Really?
[11:02] ---
    Michiko, we're leaving.
[11:04] ---
    Okay!
[11:05] ---
    All right, thanks. We can't do
    this now, so I'll see you later.
[11:08] ---
    Say, Michiko, how long are
    you going to be staying with us?
[11:13] ---
    They want me out of their
    hair, huh? Well, never fear.
[11:16] ---
    I'll be out of there as soon as today.
[11:18] ---
    Michiko, if you're willing to,
    you can stay as long as you like.
[11:21] ---
    Yeah!
[11:23] ---
    I mean, you really did find
    Big Brother. It could be, Michiko,
[11:28] ---
    that you are an angel,
    sent to us from heaven.
[11:33] ---
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[11:38] ---
    Everything...
[11:39] ---
    Everything I don't have is
    here in this home. I'll admit that.
[11:44] ---
    But so what? Is that what I want?
[11:48] ---
    Of course it isn't.
[11:50] ---
    Me, the preternatural
    lucky girl, jealous of others?
[11:54] ---
    Supposing... Supposing, now--
    and that's all I'm doing, is supposing--
[11:58] ---
    that this is something that I desired,
[12:01] ---
    if I had to go on living in this
    fashion in order to get it...
[12:06] ---
    ...then...
[12:15] ---
    In reality, I still am Sakura Ichiko.
[12:19] ---
    I'm sorry.
[12:21] ---
    There is no "Michiko."
[12:25] ---
    Huh? Haven't you gone to bed yet?
[12:28] ---
    Um, I-I'm leaving.
[12:32] ---
    At this hour?
[12:34] ---
    Someone is coming to get me.
[12:36] ---
    What do you mean, to get you?
[12:38] ---
    Well... you see...
[12:41] ---
    Yeah! The truth is, I've liked
    Ryuta since before this started,
[12:45] ---
    and I've always wanted
    to be friends with him,
[12:47] ---
    but I didn't have the courage
    until now to even talk to him!
[12:49] ---
    But starting tomorrow,
    I'm going to be living in America,
[12:52] ---
    --and here at the end, I wanted
    to have some fond memories of him!
[12:53] ---
    --Too long, too long.
[12:55] ---
    I'm sorry. As it turns
    out, I can't pay you back.
[12:58] ---
    Never mind about that.
[13:00] ---
    Michiko, you're the one who saved me, right?
[13:04] ---
    Yeah, honestly, I was out cold,
[13:06] ---
    and there's a lot about
    this that I can't take in,
[13:09] ---
    but if you hadn't been there,
    I don't think that I'd be here now.
[13:18] ---
    Look,
[13:19] ---
    at least say goodbye to my little sister.
[13:22] ---
    But it's harder to have to say goodbye.
[13:25] ---
    It is?
[13:27] ---
    It's all right.
[13:29] ---
    I'll see her... see her again, real soon.
[13:38] ---
    It's okay. You can come out now.
[13:42] ---
    Yes, at once, ma'am!
[13:43] ---
    Here you are, Princess!
[13:44] ---
    The item you asked for!
[13:46] ---
    Oho...
[13:47] ---
    Hey, Monk, get back!
    You'll turn into an old man!
[14:07] ---
    Now then, for the reward
    that you promised us...
[14:11] ---
    Big Sister Ichiko...?
[14:17] ---
    Eh? Huh?
[14:19] ---
    Um, our reward...?
[14:21] ---
    Another time, okay?
[14:22] ---
    Huh?! Oh, no! How come?!
[14:24] ---
    When is "another time"?!
[14:27] ---
    Poor Ichiko.
[14:30] ---
    She had the power to get
    what she desired, if she wanted to,
[14:35] ---
    but up until now, she didn't
    realize what she really wanted.
[14:40] ---
    But it's too late now.
[14:42] ---
    Now that I've appeared before you.
[14:46] ---
    But then...
[14:48] ---
    I can always turn this
    good-for-nothing turtle
[14:50] ---
    into soup to occupy my mind!
[14:52] ---
    Gah! You inhuman brute!
    I mean, ungodly brute!
[15:01] ---
    "Just a minute! Time out! Time out!"
[15:06] ---
    Yow!
[15:06] ---
    "Line in use"
[15:07] ---
    There, you hear that? Yet another
    innocent person somewhere
[15:11] ---
    has jammed their pinky toe into a dresser.
[15:13] ---
    While we're wasting time like this,
    because of Sakura Ichiko,
[15:16] ---
    more and more people
    are meeting with misfortune.
[15:19] ---
    --I realize that she is
    a formidable opponent,
[15:19] ---
    --♪ Peering up innocently
    through her eyelashes, ♪
[15:21] ---
    --but at least do your
    regular check-ins, and...
[15:23] ---
    --♪ she leans up against him ♪
[15:23] ---
    --Are you listening to me, Momiji?!
[15:26] ---
    I hear you. It's not as though
    I'm slacking off, either.
[15:31] ---
    Even now, I am gearing up
    for yet another battle
[15:33] ---
    by mustering my courage.
[15:35] ---
    --R-Really?
[15:36] ---
    --Oh, next, next is Fukuyama! Who's up?
[15:38] ---
    Ah, me, me!
[15:42] ---
    O-Oh, no! The ogre is home!
[15:53] ---
    Huh?
[15:54] ---
    Whew, she startled me.
[15:56] ---
    You know, for Sakura Ichiko,
    that was pretty tame.
[15:59] ---
    Indeed.
[16:01] ---
    Ever since she got changed into a child,
[16:03] ---
    she's been there in body, but not in mind.
[16:08] ---
    "Daze"
[16:09] ---
    Frazzle, frazzle...
[16:12] ---
    "Frazzle frazzle"
[16:12] ---
    You're right.
[16:13] ---
    It's not just her mind,
    it's her whole spirit that's gone.
[16:16] ---
    She's like that around the clock,
[16:18] ---
    and she's so dejected,
    I don't know what to do.
[16:21] ---
    When I think I've found
    my chance, and attack her,
[16:23] ---
    I find that her happiness energy
    is functioning in perfect order.
[16:26] ---
    Look, even now--I didn't even notice
    that the slippers I always use
[16:30] ---
    have been switched with iron weight trainers.
[16:32] ---
    That is definitely a serious case.
[16:34] ---
    In that case, allow me to
    try a little shock therapy.
[16:39] ---
    Guess... who!
[16:46] ---
    "Bobby"
[16:46] ---
    V-Vegeta...!
[16:51] ---
    "He died for nothing!!"
[16:52] ---
    She doesn't seem any different, huh?
[16:55] ---
    Monk! I've got to acknowledge
    your courage, at least!
[16:59] ---
    All right! Leave this to Momo'o now!
[17:07] ---
    That was wishful thinking, Monk.
    Sexual harassment is not enough
[17:11] ---
    to snap Big Sister Ichiko
    back to her old self.
[17:14] ---
    --Out of the way, you stupid dog!
[17:16] ---
    --This is how Big Sister usually is!
[17:18] ---
    This is Operation Sakura Ichiko
    Puts the "S" in S&M!
[17:22] ---
    "Cuddle"
[17:24] ---
    U-Um, Big Sister Ichiko...?
[17:29] ---
    N-No!
[17:31] ---
    No! This isn't...
[17:33] ---
    This isn't Big Sister Ichiko!
[17:37] ---
    Momo'o!
[17:42] ---
    My warriors are dropping
    like flies. Why, you...!
[17:46] ---
    It looks like I'll have
    to deal with this myself.
SIGN    "Midterm test day 2!!" "1st period: Math" "2nd period: Modern Japanese" "Fight!"
[17:50] ---
    Five minutes left!
[17:52] ---
    Those who are finished,
    keep checking until time is up
[17:55] ---
    to make sure you have no mistakes.
[17:57] ---
    "Why me?"
[18:01] ---
    Okay, time's up!
[18:07] ---
    "Hey"
[18:07] ---
    Hey, react, will you?!
[18:09] ---
    Damn, I even had Yamabuki
    come all the way here, too.
[18:13] ---
    And the class being who they are,
    I'll bet that they're thinking
[18:17] ---
    that I'm just doing something weird again.
[18:19] ---
    Binboda is doing something weird again, huh?
[18:25] ---
    --Can't sleep through a test...
[18:26] ---
    --U-Um...
[18:28] ---
    Listen, Ts-Tsuwa--
[18:37] ---
    What's this reaction, now?
    I see, so that's what this is about.
[18:43] ---
    Did springtime come just for you, Sakura?
[18:45] ---
    You're such a stranger, not saying
    anything, you little devil you!
[18:48] ---
    Mother, we're having red rice tonight!
[18:53] ---
    Huh?
[18:53] ---
    H-Hey, you...
[18:57] ---
    "Shock" "Positively ignored."
[19:03] ---
    Wah! Ichi, you idiot!
[19:06] ---
    Um... Well, it's time
    for your regular report.
[19:10] ---
    --What's going on?! Where's your drive?!
[19:11] ---
    --How can you expect me to work
    like this, you dumb jerk?!
[19:13] ---
    --You even made me dress up like that!
[19:15] ---
    "This is normal, if you can call it that"
[19:16] ---
    Even so...
[19:18] ---
    Listen here, Momiji. Even I have my limits.
[19:22] ---
    If you're going to keep on forever like this,
[19:25] ---
    I can very well have another
    poverty god switch with you!
[19:28] ---
    Yeah, that might not be a bad idea.
[19:32] ---
    When I think of all the pains
    I went to with that moron,
[19:36] ---
    this isn't so much an annoying
    task as it is a fruitless one.
[19:51] ---
    "Aaaaah"
[19:51] ---
    Ah, man! This is so aggravating!
[19:54] ---
    "Tousle tousle"
[19:55] ---
    What is this?!
    What is this?! What's going on?!
[19:56] ---
    Why should I have to be so
    mixed-up about all of this?!
[20:00] ---
    All over a little handkerchief like this...
[20:05] ---
    Even if I couldn't help but
    accidentally bring it home with me,
[20:07] ---
    just go ahead and give
    it back, lickety-split!
[20:10] ---
    "Imagined ideal"
[20:10] ---
    Here, you must have dropped this.
[20:12] ---
    Oh, thanks.
[20:13] ---
    Why is your address written on it?
[20:15] ---
    You're not in grade school, are you?
[20:18] ---
    Because of all that's happened,
[20:18] ---
    "Reality"
[20:19] ---
    I can't even look at
    Tsuwabuki face to face anymore!
[20:23] ---
    Oh, I've got it! I can just drop it
    off here and not say anything...
[20:27] ---
    What are you doing here?
[20:28] ---
    "Ee-yikes!"
[20:28] ---
    Ee-yikes!
[20:30] ---
    "Thump thump"
[20:33] ---
    --Now's your chance! Nice and normal--
[20:33] ---
    --U-Um...
[20:35] ---
    --give it back nice and normal...
[20:36] ---
    --C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C...
[20:38] ---
    --What are you, a chicken?
[20:40] ---
    Wait, is this mine?
    You came here to give this to me?
[20:45] ---
    Say something, will you?
[20:47] ---
    I wonder if Michiko dropped it when she left.
[20:52] ---
    Why are you remembering that?!
[20:54] ---
    Come to think of it, you dropped
    something else off for me before.
[20:57] ---
    Thanks. Sorry to put you out.
[21:00] ---
    You're... sorry...?
[21:04] ---
    Yeah, that's good.
[21:06] ---
    Huh?
[21:07] ---
    You should be grateful!
[21:09] ---
    See you!
[21:09] ---
    "Whoosh"
[21:10] ---
    Uh, hey!
[21:12] ---
    That girl's like a whirlwind.
[21:15] ---
    I did it!
[21:17] ---
    I gave it back! I gave
    it back! I gave it back!
[21:21] ---
    The weight is finally off my shoulders!
[21:23] ---
    Awesome! It feels refreshing!
[21:26] ---
    Like right after putting on
    a new pair of underwear
[21:29] ---
    on New Year's Day morning.
[21:31] ---
    The fog that was blocking my
    view has finally cleared, and...
[21:36] ---
    Wha...?
[21:38] ---
    Wha... Wha...
[21:41] ---
    What the hell is this?!
[21:46] ---
    Just how much did you guys help yourselves
[21:48] ---
    while I was off being mild-mannered?!
[21:51] ---
    Th-That presence...!
[21:53] ---
    I-It couldn't be...!
[21:55] ---
    Hooray! It's the normal Ichiko!
[22:02] ---
    Y-Yeah, that's more like it.
[22:25] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[22:28] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[22:32] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[22:36] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[22:40] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[22:48] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[22:55] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:58] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[23:03] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[23:07] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[23:10] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[23:14] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[23:18] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[23:21] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[23:27] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[23:32] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[23:35] ---
    A replacement for me? I don't need one!
[23:38] ---
    Eh? But before, you said...
[23:40] ---
    I told you, I'm going to be
    the one to take her down!
[23:42] ---
    Don't go getting senile on me!
[23:43] ---
    What is your problem, girl?!
[23:46] ---
    "This week's"
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:46] ---
    Because of time considerations,
[23:48] ---
    you can go and find
    this week's Nadeshiko yourself.
[23:51] ---
    "The hot-blooded, hard-line karate girl
    Rindo Ranmaru shows up at last!!!"
[23:52] ---
    Wait, this can't be happening...
[23:54] ---
    This can't be happening...
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: 'Is This That So-called
    Boy-Raised-As-a-Girl Pattern?'"
[23:56] ---
    This can't be happening!
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'Parallel rows of gentianas'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

7 - Is This That So-called Boy-Raised-As-a-Girl Pattern?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    This is a special crepe,
    limited to only ten per day...
[00:26] ---
    --And it's all mine--
[00:26] ---
    --Look out! Look out!
[00:32] ---
    Ee-yow!
[00:34] ---
    This is bad! Hurry!
[00:35] ---
    There she is!
[00:39] ---
    --We're out of here!
[00:40] ---
    --Hey! Apologize! Wait, my crepe!
[00:45] ---
    Happiness energy still working!
[00:51] ---
    What?
[00:52] ---
    What kind of attitude is that?
[00:54] ---
    You shoplifter!
[00:55] ---
    Shoplifter?
[00:58] ---
    You can explain yourself down at the station.
[01:00] ---
    Huh?!
[01:02] ---
    You've gotta be kidding me!
[01:03] ---
    You're going to take away my modest happiness
[01:05] ---
    --over a hopeless misunderstanding?!
[01:06] ---
    --What are you doing?!
[01:07] ---
    You're interfering with a public officer!
[01:09] ---
    What did you say?!
[01:10] ---
    Hold it!
[01:13] ---
    Before you go preaching happiness,
[01:16] ---
    take a good look in the mirror.
[01:19] ---
    The arms that so tenderly envelop you...
[01:22] ---
    ...weep out in pain.
[01:26] ---
    Girls should not raise their fists.
[01:29] ---
    Their precious happiness will flee...
[01:32] ---
    ...young lady.
[01:34] ---
    Huh?
[01:41] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:44] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:47] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:52] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:56] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:58] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[02:05] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[02:09] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[02:13] ---
    Is this right?
[02:15] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[02:21] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[02:26] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:28] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[02:31] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[02:34] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[02:39] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:43] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[02:45] ---
    As you please
[02:50] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[02:52] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[02:55] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[03:00] ---
    and bust it up
[03:07] ---
    W-Who is that?
[03:09] ---
    Is she a friend of yours?
[03:11] ---
    Of course not. I've never seen her bef--
[03:15] ---
    Oh my word, please listen to me, officer.
[03:18] ---
    It's true, I am the one who shoplifted.
[03:19] ---
    "Did it get darker?"
[03:20] ---
    "It's the middle of the day."
[03:21] ---
    But not because I wanted to. I told her no.
[03:25] ---
    I did it because she threatened me!
[03:28] ---
    You put her up to this?!
[03:29] ---
    That's pretty low!
[03:30] ---
    Whoa, what are you talking about?
[03:32] ---
    Arrest her!
[03:36] ---
    We're going to have to ask
    you some questions, too...
[03:38] ---
    She's gone!
[03:40] ---
    W-Why that girl...!
[03:42] ---
    Mess with me, will you?!
[03:46] ---
    Delicious.
[03:48] ---
    "Round 7!" "Is This That So-called
    Boy-Raised-As-a-Girl Pattern?"
[03:52] ---
    "The next day"
[03:54] ---
    I wonder what ended up
    happening to that girl yesterday.
[03:57] ---
    I'll bet she was mad.
[03:59] ---
    Well, it's not like I'll ever see her again.
[04:01] ---
    Okay, we have a new transfer
    student to introduce to you all today.
[04:06] ---
    Teacher, doesn't our class seem
    to have a lot of transfer students?
[04:09] ---
    Ah, that's because
[04:10] ---
    the main character of this
    anime is in this class.
[04:13] ---
    He had to say it.
[04:15] ---
    Okay, come on in.
[04:22] ---
    Rindo... is that how you say it? Or is it...
[04:23] ---
    "Rindo Ranmaru"
[04:25] ---
    Miss Rindo, if you please.
[04:27] ---
    I'm Rindo Ranmaru. Nice to meet you.
[04:29] ---
    My specialty is karate.
[04:31] ---
    My dream is to bring back
    my pop's karate dojo,
[04:34] ---
    which closed due to financial difficulties.
[04:36] ---
    Ah, is this that so-called
    "boy-raised-as-a-girl" pattern?
[04:40] ---
    Don't pass it off as a "pattern."
    I'll chop you, fatty.
[04:45] ---
    S-Sorry.
[04:46] ---
    Yikes!
[04:48] ---
    There's no way she doesn't
    remember me, right?
[04:51] ---
    I know! A disguise! I'll get
    through this with a disguise!
[04:57] ---
    Perfect! She'll never see through this.
[05:02] ---
    I won't be outdone!
    It's a look-alike contest, right?
[05:04] ---
    Don't jump in on this, poverty god!
[05:06] ---
    It will just draw more attention!
[05:08] ---
    Huh? Is this a new fad?
[05:11] ---
    Not you, too!
[05:13] ---
    Please take the seat in
    the back row next to the hallway.
[05:15] ---
    'Kay.
[05:18] ---
    "It's contagious"
[05:20] ---
    What is it with this section?
[05:22] ---
    You're the girl I met yesterday, huh?
[05:24] ---
    You're kidding!
    She found me out in an instant?!
[05:27] ---
    I need a word with you.
[05:29] ---
    Yow!
[05:32] ---
    What's the matter, Miss Sakura?!
[05:34] ---
    Miss Rindo got violent
    with me all of a sudden.
[05:36] ---
    Huh?
[05:37] ---
    How could you do that to Sakura?!
[05:39] ---
    --No, I was just...
[05:39] ---
    --We won't take that, even from a girl!
[05:41] ---
    Yeah! Yeah!
[05:42] ---
    No, see, I wasn't...
[05:46] ---
    Damn it!
[05:50] ---
    That girl will pay!
[05:52] ---
    But then, I can't touch her at
    school, with all her admirers.
[06:01] ---
    Coming!
[06:06] ---
    I didn't see that, I didn't see that.
    I didn't see a thing.
[06:09] ---
    --Eep!
[06:10] ---
    --No way you didn't see me!
[06:12] ---
    H-How did you get in here?!
[06:14] ---
    On spirit and guts!
[06:15] ---
    Sakura Ichiko's home! Sakura Ichiko's home!
[06:19] ---
    What you see here is
    the rare Holstein Sakura Ichiko.
[06:23] ---
    It was you, poverty god?!
    Stop bringing hooligans home with you!
[06:26] ---
    Who are you calling a hooligan?!
[06:27] ---
    I'll have you know, I despise
    people who pin their own blame on,
[06:31] ---
    or shield themselves behind other people!
[06:34] ---
    You're a coward who
    does nothing but run away!
[06:36] ---
    How can you talk so big after
    wrecking my place like this,
[06:38] ---
    you head-to-toe nutcase!
[06:40] ---
    N-Nut--?
[06:42] ---
    Come on, don't let her
    beat you, get her back!
[06:44] ---
    Y-You... bazooka boobs!
[06:46] ---
    No, you've got to insult her.
[06:49] ---
    Why, thank you. Is that all
    you've got to say, muscleman-lady?
[06:56] ---
    I'm gonna chop those chubby chunks!
[06:59] ---
    My button...!
[07:02] ---
    Idiot! Did she think she could
    win out against my happiness energy?
[07:06] ---
    Hey, she's human.
[07:10] ---
    Hey, you jerk!
[07:12] ---
    I'll make sure I get you for this!
[07:14] ---
    It is on, Sakura Ichiko!
    You and me, one-on-one!
[07:18] ---
    Why don't you accept?
[07:19] ---
    I gotta say, I'm surprised
    she's alive. It's 13 stories.
[07:23] ---
    Miss Sakura is going to
    fight that transfer student?
[07:26] ---
    --Catfight! Catfight!
[07:26] ---
    --Guess you didn't run this time, huh?
[07:29] ---
    How did we wind up like this?
[07:31] ---
    "Battle of the Century"
[07:32] ---
    200 yen on Miss Sakura!
[07:33] ---
    50,000 on Rindo!
[07:34] ---
    Colas, popcorn, or beer, anyone?
[07:38] ---
    Tsuwabuki, you can't be selling beer.
[07:40] ---
    The teacher was buying it earlier.
[07:42] ---
    Sakura, if you win, I'll do whatever you say.
[07:46] ---
    You're pretty sure of yourself.
[07:47] ---
    Okay, I'm going to have
    you leave this school.
[07:51] ---
    Fine. If you win, that is.
[07:56] ---
    I've packed my guts and attitude
[07:59] ---
    into this female body my parents gave me!
[08:02] ---
    Fired up in my best school
    uniform, the name is Rindo,
[08:06] ---
    first name, Ranmaru!
[08:12] ---
    I'm gonna pound that
    rotten disposition of yours,
[08:16] ---
    so say your prayers!
[08:18] ---
    Take this!
[08:21] ---
    "Dragon Storm Kick"
[08:21] ---
    Ryurankyaku!
[08:23] ---
    Get her!
[08:24] ---
    Akane, you've got some lint there.
[08:26] ---
    You're kidding, where?!
[08:29] ---
    Wah! My eyes!
[08:34] ---
    Huh? I'm stuck...
[08:37] ---
    "Grind grind"
[08:37] ---
    Ow-w-w-w-w-w! You got me! You got me!
[08:42] ---
    Wow! I won!
[08:44] ---
    An instant takedown?
[08:45] ---
    Miss Sakura, you're awesome!
[08:46] ---
    Aw, geez, it's over already?
[08:49] ---
    I wish they would have
    fought like Yusuke and Yomi.
[08:52] ---
    What, for 60 hours?
[08:54] ---
    How much have you got?
[08:56] ---
    This makes 10,000.
[08:57] ---
    That's outstanding.
[09:02] ---
    Item funds GET!
[09:04] ---
    Just you wait, guys!
    We're eating good tonight!
[09:07] ---
    Damn it! How could I lose to that girl?!
[09:12] ---
    Yo!
[09:14] ---
    Good fight. You looked great.
    You gave us all a good show.
[09:18] ---
    If you ever do it again,
    give me a call, okay?
[09:21] ---
    And I'll run concessions.
[09:23] ---
    O-Okay.
[09:27] ---
    Um... w-what's your name?
[09:30] ---
    Tsuwabuki Keita.
[09:32] ---
    Hinketsumura Momiji.
[09:33] ---
    I wasn't asking you.
[09:38] ---
    How cool!
[09:39] ---
    By the way...
[09:41] ---
    ...you do remember what you
    said before the fight, don't you?
[09:46] ---
    Yeah, I know.
[09:49] ---
    A promise is a promise. I'll leave.
[09:54] ---
    And so, the hot-blooded freak from
    another era vanished from my sight.
[10:01] ---
    We have a new transfer student
    to introduce to you all today.
[10:04] ---
    But then,
[10:05] ---
    "Rindo Ranmaru"
[10:05] ---
    she came right back.
[10:07] ---
    This is Miss Rindo,
    who left once, but retransferred in.
[10:11] ---
    My goal at this moment
    is to put down Sakura Ichiko!
[10:15] ---
    I should have told her
    to never come around again.
[10:18] ---
    I get the feeling that she and I
    are going to get along just fine.
[10:32] ---
    Hidebu!
[10:33] ---
    Uwaraba!
[10:35] ---
    Abeshi!
[10:37] ---
    Are you all right?
[10:39] ---
    Yes. Thank you very much.
[10:41] ---
    Damn! These punks are no challenge at all.
[10:45] ---
    Why can't I beat Sakura Ichiko?!
[10:54] ---
    "Round 7.5!"
    "I'll Never Forget What You Did Today!!"
[10:57] ---
    And so, I want you to fight me again.
[11:00] ---
    Huh? No way.
[11:04] ---
    You can't "no way" out of this!
[11:06] ---
    You think you can just
    quit while you're ahead?!
[11:08] ---
    What's with you?!
    What is it about me you don't like?!
[11:12] ---
    Hold it, hold it, hold it!
[11:14] ---
    You don't know when to quit, Miss Rindo!
[11:16] ---
    We won't let you lay
    another hand on Miss Sakura!
[11:18] ---
    What's your deal, boys?!
    It's always "Miss Sakura," "Miss Sakura!"
[11:21] ---
    You go, Rindo!
    Take care of all of them at once!
[11:23] ---
    Shut up! Stop hanging on my sleeves!
[11:26] ---
    Hey, you guys!
[11:28] ---
    Stop this, all of you!
[11:30] ---
    Any further confrontation
    here would be meaningless.
[11:33] ---
    "Boobs Vs the Self-Center of the Universe"
    "Catfight Combat Rematch!"
[11:34] ---
    In the coming days,
[11:35] ---
    we will be holding a rematch!
[11:40] ---
    What kind of nonsense is--
[11:41] ---
    Yeah! Sounds good!
[11:42] ---
    Hold on! You can't decide for both of us!
[11:44] ---
    Tickets now on sale!
[11:45] ---
    You guys, knock it off, already!
[11:49] ---
    Shut up.
[11:51] ---
    I can't sleep!
[11:52] ---
    I-I'm sorry.
[11:56] ---
    He's right. We can't make all
    this racket if he's going to sleep.
[11:59] ---
    They won't ever listen to what I tell them.
[12:03] ---
    This is driving me up a wall.
[12:16] ---
    Gah! What am I thinking?!
[12:19] ---
    Right now, clobbering Sakura Ichiko
    should be first on my mind!
[12:23] ---
    Besides...
[12:26] ---
    ...it's out of the question,
    as long as I look like this.
[12:32] ---
    --Y-Y-You guys...!
[12:34] ---
    --Did you hear that?
[12:35] ---
    --Distinctly!
[12:36] ---
    W-W-What did you hear?!
[12:38] ---
    You are the same as we are--
[12:41] ---
    A girl, after all.
[12:42] ---
    "Gulp!!"
[12:43] ---
    --W-W-What kind of nonsense
    are you talking about?
[12:45] ---
    --Sometimes, I like to dress up cute,
[12:47] ---
    and make out with a good-looking boy.
[12:50] ---
    Stop reading my mind! And I never said that!
[12:53] ---
    I can make your wish come true.
[12:56] ---
    Huh? Why would you?
[12:58] ---
    Don't you know? We're a pair of
    rivals who have exchanged blows.
[13:02] ---
    That feeling that blossoms
    after a fight is...
[13:05] ---
    ...friendship, isn't it?!
[13:07] ---
    Friend... ship?
[13:10] ---
    Leave it to me. I won't do you wrong.
[13:15] ---
    Y-You mean it?
[13:19] ---
    Impulsive idiots like her are
    so nice and easy to deal with.
[13:22] ---
    After I get even with her
    for everything up to now,
[13:25] ---
    I'm going to walk all over her!
[13:28] ---
    I see right through your
    ulterior motive, Sakura Ichiko!
[13:31] ---
    However, I am still going to
    get Ranmaru to team up with me!
[13:34] ---
    Together, we will take
    your happiness energy from you!
[13:49] ---
    "Quite a bit here, huh?"
[13:52] ---
    "Skritch"
[13:52] ---
    "Creating an emotional barrier"
[13:57] ---
    There.
[13:59] ---
    All done.
[14:01] ---
    Outstanding! Definitely what
    you call a diamond from the rough.
[14:05] ---
    Th-That's me?!
[14:07] ---
    Well? How does it feel to be reborn?
[14:10] ---
    Although, you're still no
    match for my good looks.
[14:13] ---
    What can I say? I...
[14:14] ---
    Stop chewing on leaves!
[14:15] ---
    My crotch feels so airy.
[14:16] ---
    Stop flapping your skirt!
[14:18] ---
    It's easier to walk in clogs.
[14:20] ---
    Stop being so fussy!
[14:21] ---
    What a pain this is.
[14:23] ---
    Whoa, isn't that girl cute?
[14:27] ---
    What's the matter?
[14:32] ---
    For the first time in my life,
    someone said I was cute!
[14:35] ---
    Now if you can land
    a boyfriend, you'll be golden.
[14:38] ---
    A--
[14:39] ---
    A boyfriend...?
[14:40] ---
    Whoa!
[14:41] ---
    No, that's okay, not yet.
[14:44] ---
    For now, just looking like this is enough.
[14:48] ---
    Sakura, Binboda, I'll never
    forget what you did today.
[14:53] ---
    Thank you.
[14:55] ---
    But I've gotta change outta this.
[14:58] ---
    There's no telling what my pop
    will say if I come home like this.
[15:02] ---
    Your pop?
[15:05] ---
    My pop wanted to have a son
    to take over the dojo from him.
[15:10] ---
    But all he ever had was a daughter, me,
[15:13] ---
    so he decided to make me
    the best female karateka in all of Japan.
[15:17] ---
    "North Indian Ice Cream"
[15:18] ---
    He's an even bigger
    hot-blooded karate freak than me.
[15:20] ---
    So, it's your pop's fault that
    you're as butch as you are.
[15:24] ---
    "Fault"? Don't say it like that.
    Sure, he may have his strict side,
[15:29] ---
    but I respect my pop for
    bringing me up all by himself.
[15:34] ---
    Hmm? I don't get that--
    being able to respect your parents.
[15:41] ---
    What's with her?
[15:43] ---
    Who knows?
[15:46] ---
    I think it's about time I changed my clothes.
[15:50] ---
    Nah, not yet.
[15:50] ---
    "He-he"
[15:52] ---
    I'll enjoy looking like this
    a little longer before going home.
[15:56] ---
    Ranmaru...
[16:00] ---
    Good morning, Miss Sakura.
[16:01] ---
    Good morning, everyone.
[16:11] ---
    Hey, what happened to
    the clothes from yesterday?
[16:13] ---
    And how did you get that cut?
[16:15] ---
    Don't tell me your pop did that!
[16:17] ---
    Buzz off, will you?
[16:19] ---
    It's nothing you need to worry about.
[16:21] ---
    Just leave me alone from now on.
[16:30] ---
    Are you going to Ranmaru's home?
[16:35] ---
    She asked you to leave her alone, didn't she?
[16:38] ---
    You shouldn't go sticking your nose
[16:40] ---
    into other people's family matters.
[16:42] ---
    You've got no room to talk!
[16:45] ---
    Ow...
[16:47] ---
    Get up, Ranmaru.
[16:49] ---
    Your father is saddened.
[16:51] ---
    Since when did you lower
    yourself to become such a pansy?!
[16:56] ---
    Letting yourself become
    infatuated with this stuff!
[16:59] ---
    No, that's... D-Don't...!
[17:04] ---
    As long as you are deluded
    by common things such as this,
[17:08] ---
    don't ever think that you will
    become a power in karate!
[17:18] ---
    Sakura!
[17:19] ---
    Sakura? Hmph...
[17:22] ---
    So you're the classmate
    that beat Ranmaru, are you?
[17:25] ---
    That's right.
    And by the way, I'm also the one
[17:28] ---
    who dressed her up to
    make her look like a girl.
[17:30] ---
    What?
[17:31] ---
    Listen to me closely. There are two
    things in this world that I hate.
[17:37] ---
    The first thing is the poverty god.
[17:39] ---
    Hey!
[17:40] ---
    And the second thing...
[17:42] ---
    ...is a parent that doesn't think
    of their child's happiness,
[17:45] ---
    and insists on forcing
    their own wishes on them!
[17:49] ---
    Fight me! If I win, you have to
    let Rindo do what she wants!
[17:54] ---
    Sakura...
SIGN    "Rindo Genjuro" "Arm Strength: 26600" "Leg Strength: 60950" "Agility: 80320" "Income: 1,170,000"
[17:56] ---
    Hmm...
[17:57] ---
    The difference in their strength is obvious.
[17:59] ---
    So is this an opponent she can beat
    with just her happiness energy at work?
[18:04] ---
    Of all the things to show up
    out of the blue and say!
[18:07] ---
    Fighting women and children
    goes against my principles.
[18:11] ---
    You're ducking me?
[18:12] ---
    However...
[18:13] ---
    ...as big a shrew as you are,
    it is my responsibility as an adult
[18:18] ---
    to correct that insolent behavior of yours.
[18:21] ---
    I will take you on, little
    girl! Defend yourself!
[18:25] ---
    Don't do it, Pop! Don't do this!
[18:28] ---
    Take this!
[18:31] ---
    "Dragon Strict Kick"
[18:31] ---
    Ryugenkyaku!
[18:37] ---
    Wah! My eyes!
[18:40] ---
    "Like Father, Like Daughter"
[18:40] ---
    Whoops.
[18:43] ---
    D-Damn!
[18:46] ---
    Ow-w-w-w-w! You're just a little girl!
[18:51] ---
    Don't push your luck!
[18:58] ---
    She was smiling.
[19:00] ---
    Your daughter was wearing a skirt,
    and makeup, and styled her hair...
[19:07] ---
    ...and smiling with delight.
[19:11] ---
    If you didn't even know that,
[19:14] ---
    how can you have the right to take away
[19:16] ---
    the smile from your own child's face?!
[19:27] ---
    Rin... do...?
[19:30] ---
    Stop this.
[19:32] ---
    You don't know anything
    about my pop, either, do you?
[19:38] ---
    He may be one of those
    adults that you can't stand,
[19:42] ---
    but to me, he's the only parent I've got.
[19:46] ---
    So... So...
[19:50] ---
    ...it's okay, Sakura.
[19:52] ---
    Don't you hit my pop.
[19:59] ---
    I told you, don't poke
    your nose into their business.
[20:02] ---
    Shut up.
[20:04] ---
    If you're just going to lie
    there and mope, you're hopeless.
[20:07] ---
    If Mr. Suwano were here,
    he might offer you some comfort, saying,
[20:11] ---
    "you were thinking of
    Miss Ranmaru, weren't you?"
[20:15] ---
    But since he's not, that's too bad.
[20:37] ---
    Pop...
[20:39] ---
    I'm off.
[20:42] ---
    Sakura Ichiko, was it?
[20:45] ---
    There aren't many people
    who would risk their own necks
[20:48] ---
    for someone else's sake.
[20:51] ---
    You've made a fine friend, Ranmaru.
[20:56] ---
    Ha, she's not my friend.
[21:02] ---
    Sure enough, you're dressed like that.
[21:06] ---
    Yeah.
[21:07] ---
    My pop said I could dress
    however I wanted to,
[21:11] ---
    but at this point,
    I'm more comfortable this way.
[21:15] ---
    Sakura, sorry about yesterday.
[21:18] ---
    I've realized that I'm plenty
    happy the way I already am.
[21:22] ---
    Thanks. My pop said to say so, too.
[21:29] ---
    Yes of course, yes of course!
[21:31] ---
    There was nothing wrong with anything I did!
[21:33] ---
    You got over that quickly!
[21:34] ---
    Sorry, that's just how she is.
[21:37] ---
    Now, hoist me up in the air!
    It's Ichiko-festival time!
[21:41] ---
    It's Ichiko-festival time! Washoi!
    Washoi! Washoi! Washoi! Washoi!
[22:05] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[22:09] ---
    she leans up against him
[22:13] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[22:17] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[22:21] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[22:28] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[22:36] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[22:39] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[22:44] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[22:48] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[22:51] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[22:55] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[22:59] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[23:02] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[23:07] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[23:12] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[23:16] ---
    This week's
[23:16] ---
    "This week's"
[23:17] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:18] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:19] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone!
[23:21] ---
    Did you see me again this week?
[23:23] ---
    After that thing that only
    happens once every four years,
[23:25] ---
    my magnificent exploits continue ever on!
[23:28] ---
    This week, I was here...
[23:29] ---
    ...and here! This week,
    there's a special extra!
[23:32] ---
    "Boom"
[23:33] ---
    Episode 1's
[23:33] ---
    "Episode 1's"
[23:34] ---
    "Oh, Sukeno!"
[23:34] ---
    "Why, you Sukeno!"
[23:36] ---
    At the earnest request of some of you,
[23:38] ---
    we're going to play back
    the scene in episode 1
[23:39] ---
    where the original author
    appeared! Here you go!
[23:42] ---
    For real?
[23:43] ---
    Yes, for real! And just for
    this occasion, one more time!
[23:46] ---
    For real?
[23:46] ---
    One last time, accompanied by
    the author's own self-portrait!
[23:49] ---
    For real?
[23:51] ---
    "Ichiko's frame of mind becomes shaken"
    "The trauma of Ichiko's past revealed"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: 'Call Me By My Name'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'Crossed rows of gentianas'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

8 - Call Me By My Name

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[00:24] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[00:27] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[00:32] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[00:36] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[00:38] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[00:45] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[00:49] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[00:53] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[00:55] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[01:02] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[01:06] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:09] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:12] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:15] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:20] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:24] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[01:25] ---
    Omou mama ni
[01:30] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[01:33] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[01:36] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[01:40] ---
    kowashite yuke
[01:47] ---
    "Round 8!" "Call Me By My Name"
[01:51] ---
    The, uh, old classroom building
    is going to be knocked down soon.
[01:53] ---
    "This Week's Slogan: Students
    listen to what the teacher says"
[01:55] ---
    There is some danger of collapse
    there, so be sure not to go near it.
[02:00] ---
    Ranmaru-kun!
[02:01] ---
    What?
[02:02] ---
    Got any plans after class?
[02:03] ---
    If you'd like, how about
    going to karaoke with us?
[02:06] ---
    It'll be a sort of welcoming party for you.
[02:08] ---
    I'd be delighted.
    Also, could you not call me Ranmaru-kun?
[02:11] ---
    Oh, but it's so cool on you!
[02:14] ---
    It is? Well, in that case...
[02:15] ---
    Sakura, why don't you come, too?
[02:18] ---
    U-Uh, listen, Miss Rindo...
[02:21] ---
    Ah, don't be so formal!
    You can lose the "Miss"!
[02:21] ---
    "Chop chop"
[02:24] ---
    I mean, it's just us, isn't it?
[02:26] ---
    Just us, you say?
[02:28] ---
    Wah! Let's go, let's go, let's go! I want
    to unveil for you the song I just learned!
[02:32] ---
    Yeah, Binboda, you come, too!
[02:34] ---
    Oh, please, call me Momiji.
[02:36] ---
    --Hey, um...!
[02:36] ---
    --I can't wait!
[02:37] ---
    It's okay for these two to come, right?
[02:40] ---
    Miss Binboda is fine, but...
[02:42] ---
    Yeah, as for Miss Sakura...
[02:44] ---
    Oh, don't give me that.
[02:46] ---
    It's okay, Miss Rindo.
[02:48] ---
    Don't worry about me,
    just go enjoy yourself with the others.
[02:51] ---
    I have more important
    things to do than karaoke.
[02:54] ---
    "Hmph..."
[02:55] ---
    Let's go. You heard what Miss Sakura said.
[02:58] ---
    Huh? O-Oh, okay...
[03:00] ---
    May I carry your bag, Miss Sakura?
[03:02] ---
    Miss Sakura, you don't go to karaoke, do you?
[03:06] ---
    --Ranmaru-kun, hurry!
[03:07] ---
    --What song did you just learn?
[03:09] ---
    Pucchi Moni.
[03:09] ---
    That's old!
[03:10] ---
    --There's a new shop across from
    the station that has tasty sweets.
[03:13] ---
    --Tit-chiko is so annoying.
    Who does she think she is?
[03:14] ---
    --Yeah, yeah, let's go, let's go!
[03:24] ---
    ♪ No matter how much I think of you ♪
[03:27] ---
    That gets you, right in the heart, huh?
[03:30] ---
    Miss Binboda, you're amazing.
[03:31] ---
    Ranmaru-kun, you should sing, too.
[03:33] ---
    Oh, yeah...
[03:35] ---
    What's the matter?
[03:36] ---
    Oh, it's just...
[03:38] ---
    Are you sure Sakura didn't
    want to come have fun with us?
[03:43] ---
    Oh, I don't know.
[03:44] ---
    I'm sure she'd rather be surrounded by boys.
[03:47] ---
    Taking great delight in
    having a fuss made over her.
[03:49] ---
    I once tried to talk to her, but she told me,
[03:52] ---
    "I don't care to hang out with other girls,"
[03:54] ---
    and turned me down flat.
[03:56] ---
    Yeah, but... sometimes, she gets
    the loneliest looks on her face.
[04:01] ---
    Miss Sakura does?
    Have you ever seen that?
[04:04] ---
    --No, no. I can't even imagine it.
[04:05] ---
    --Ah, I'm up next.
[04:07] ---
    Does this Ichiko business really bother you?
[04:09] ---
    I wouldn't say it "bothers" me,
    I'm just not too bright.
[04:13] ---
    I just can't look the other way, you know?
[04:15] ---
    In that case, what if we
    go to her directly and see?
[04:18] ---
    To Sakura's place? But she said
    she had something important to do.
[04:21] ---
    Probably just checking
    the weave count of her tatami mats.
[04:24] ---
    What does that have to do with anything?
[04:26] ---
    12,206...
[04:28] ---
    12,207...
[04:30] ---
    --12,208...
[04:30] ---
    --There, you see?
[04:30] ---
    What are you doing?!
[04:32] ---
    Hey, why did you come in
    without asking first?!
[04:34] ---
    Get a hold of yourself, Sakura!
    You're being such a pathetic girl!
[04:37] ---
    If you've got a problem, tell me about it!
[04:39] ---
    I'm afraid my bust line
    has become even bigger.
[04:43] ---
    What are you, bragging?
[04:45] ---
    I-I didn't say a thing!
[04:47] ---
    Same old Sakura, huh?
[04:49] ---
    Worth teasing her a little, right?
[04:50] ---
    Stop toying with me!
[04:52] ---
    So, what did you come here for?
[04:54] ---
    To have fun!
[04:55] ---
    To have fun? Why?
[04:56] ---
    Do you need any special reason
    to have fun at a friend's home?
[05:00] ---
    Friend...?
[05:02] ---
    I rented a movie. Let's all
    watch it together. Seven Samurai.
[05:06] ---
    Oh, let's watch Drifters!
[05:07] ---
    Huh?! Kurosawa rules!
[05:09] ---
    Drifters! Daibakusho!
[05:11] ---
    Take this somewhere else!
[05:13] ---
    You don't like movies?
[05:14] ---
    It's not that!
[05:15] ---
    Oh, then, m-m-m...
[05:20] ---
    ...maybe we can trade love stories!
[05:20] ---
    "Boom"
[05:22] ---
    No way in hell!
[05:23] ---
    Love stories! Or for short...
[05:23] ---
    "Love stories"
[05:26] ---
    "Boom"
[05:26] ---
    "Lo'st!"
[05:27] ---
    Okay, let's start with Ranmaru.
[05:30] ---
    Huh? Me?!
[05:31] ---
    Uh... well... you see...
[05:34] ---
    No, I can't! I can't say! I can't say!
[05:34] ---
    "She's being bashful"
[05:34] ---
    "Gya ha ha ha ha"
[05:38] ---
    Oh, no! I can't stop the bashful giggling!
[05:41] ---
    Take it somewhere else!
[05:42] ---
    For one thing, Rindo,
[05:44] ---
    I don't remember you
    and I ever becoming friends.
[05:47] ---
    What are you talking about?
[05:49] ---
    You fought my pop for my sake, didn't you?
[05:51] ---
    That's just because your old man upset me.
[05:52] ---
    "Dragon Strict Kick"
[05:55] ---
    It wasn't necessarily for your sake, okay?
[05:57] ---
    Yeah, but it doesn't change
    the fact that I owe you one.
[06:00] ---
    Which is why...
[06:02] ---
    ...if anything's bothering you, just say it.
[06:05] ---
    I will do anything that I can for your sake.
[06:10] ---
    U-Uh, okay, okay.
[06:13] ---
    I get it, I get it.
[06:15] ---
    I guess if you're going to
    be such a hot-blooded fool,
[06:18] ---
    then I have no choice but to tell you.
[06:20] ---
    Frankly, you're becoming a nuisance.
[06:23] ---
    You could say that my
    own popularity is diminished
[06:26] ---
    by having you loitering around me.
[06:27] ---
    And we live in different
    worlds to begin with.
[06:30] ---
    Now that we're clear, starting tomorrow--
[06:31] ---
    "Squeeze"
[06:33] ---
    Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[06:33] ---
    "Pull"
[06:33] ---
    "Gya ha ha ha ha"
[06:34] ---
    Huh? This doesn't come off!
[06:37] ---
    That hurt! How could you do such a thing?!
[06:40] ---
    Well, I thought maybe you were
    wearing a mask, or something.
[06:42] ---
    Huh?!
[06:44] ---
    Your specialty is to be
    two-faced and tell lies, after all.
[06:48] ---
    I thought I might tear off the mask
    you'd mortared onto your face
[06:51] ---
    with your ridiculous amount of pride.
[06:56] ---
    G-Get out! Don't ever have
    anything to do with me again!
[07:02] ---
    Think I went too far?
[07:03] ---
    Maybe you struck too close.
[07:05] ---
    To what?
[07:06] ---
    Where she hurts.
[07:08] ---
    You think so?
[07:09] ---
    Are you sure you're human?
[07:11] ---
    So then, you know something about this?
[07:13] ---
    Beats me. I'm not that interested.
[07:15] ---
    Oh. Well I...
[07:17] ---
    It bothers you?
[07:18] ---
    Hmm, I'm not that bright.
[07:21] ---
    I see.
[07:23] ---
    In that case, I'll leave this with you.
[07:28] ---
    Poverty god item! The trauma stethoscope!
[07:29] ---
    "Tra"
[07:29] ---
    "uma"
[07:31] ---
    By using this, one is able
    to listen to past secrets,
[07:34] ---
    kept deep down in the heart,
    wanting to be left alone.
[07:37] ---
    Awesome. Wait, what's a poverty god?
[07:40] ---
    Ah, well as it happens, I am a poverty god.
[07:43] ---
    Oh, yeah?
[07:45] ---
    With this, huh?
[07:46] ---
    It's true, Sakura will never
    give up her true colors to me...
[07:50] ---
    No, I can't! Why should I rely on this
[07:50] ---
    "Snap"
[07:51] ---
    --Hey, what are you doing to those?!
[07:52] ---
    --when I haven't put any effort in yet?
[07:55] ---
    Ah, Tit-chiko is such a pain.
[07:57] ---
    We're gonna be stuck in the same
    class as her until 2nd year, huh?
[08:00] ---
    That's the truth.
[08:02] ---
    Well, then...
[08:03] ---
    ...you really wanna put the screws to her?
[08:09] ---
    Sakura sure is late.
[08:12] ---
    Wait, is she still there?
[08:14] ---
    I mean, really, what is she thinking?
[08:17] ---
    All day long today,
    she's kept trying to cling to me.
[08:20] ---
    Heya, Sakura! Let's eat together!
    Hey, show me how to do this!
[08:26] ---
    What is she doing, lying in wait?
[08:28] ---
    I feel sorry for Rindo,
    the way you're avoiding her.
[08:31] ---
    Who are you?
[08:32] ---
    Tange Akane. You should at least
    learn your classmates' names.
[08:36] ---
    What do you want?
[08:37] ---
    I'll help you out.
[08:38] ---
    When one of us is in trouble,
    we're all in it together.
[08:42] ---
    For crying out loud.
[08:43] ---
    "She's heading out the back"
[08:43] ---
    What is she, a teenager so
    focused on someone she likes,
[08:46] ---
    she ignores them?
[08:48] ---
    Huh?
[08:50] ---
    Oh, dear.
[08:51] ---
    Oh, my goodness gracious.
[08:52] ---
    Captain Kumagai, come in.
[08:54] ---
    "Whip"
[08:54] ---
    Request immediate mobilization
    of the champion of justice.
[08:57] ---
    "Roger"
[08:58] ---
    "Keep Out"
[08:59] ---
    Hey, Akane, you're positive about this?
[09:02] ---
    I said I was, didn't I?
[09:04] ---
    That girl's stuck up, after all.
[09:07] ---
    Hey, isn't this going too far, even for us?
[09:10] ---
    What are you talking about?
[09:11] ---
    If Tit-chiko starts behaving
    herself because of this,
[09:13] ---
    our own school lives
    will finally start improving.
[09:17] ---
    Well now, if that's the
    case, I won't hold back.
[09:22] ---
    What was that?!
[09:23] ---
    A clog, from outside?!
[09:25] ---
    A clog? It couldn't be...!
[09:31] ---
    Following the shadows
    of one embracing loneliness,
[09:34] ---
    a budding spirit of favor, and of friendship,
[09:36] ---
    her caring heart turning
    to a fighting spirit,
[09:39] ---
    her smile fluttering away,
    a profusion of cherry blossoms!
[09:43] ---
    Rindo Ranmaru has arrived!
[09:46] ---
    R-Rindo?!
[09:48] ---
    To hell with you!
    Don't think you're gonna get away...
[09:51] ---
    ...with this...
[09:53] ---
    Who is this?!
[09:55] ---
    Why, you...!
[10:00] ---
    Huh?
[10:04] ---
    Clench your teeth!
[10:07] ---
    "Kerslap!"
[10:10] ---
    You other two!
[10:12] ---
    Take those two and beat it, now!
[10:14] ---
    Sir, yes sir!
[10:19] ---
    Sakura, are you okay?
[10:21] ---
    Huh? She's gone. When did that happen?
[10:25] ---
    Oh, it's you guys.
[10:27] ---
    Using boys to settle a score
    is below a girl's dignity.
[10:31] ---
    Rindo, this has nothing to do with you!
[10:32] ---
    Of course it has something to do with me.
[10:35] ---
    We're classmates.
    Let's try to get along better.
[10:44] ---
    What's that?
[10:48] ---
    Lousy Rindo... Who asked her?
[10:50] ---
    I regained consciousness
    halfway through this.
[10:53] ---
    Well, she did want to pay me back,
[10:55] ---
    so now, she'll stop following
    me around, right?
[11:01] ---
    That's... for the best.
[11:08] ---
    Whoa, what was that?!
[11:11] ---
    There is some danger of collapse
    there, so be sure not to go near it.
[11:21] ---
    Rindo!
[11:23] ---
    "No Touching"
[11:28] ---
    "Sassy" "Sassy" "Sassy"
[11:36] ---
    W-What are you doing?!
[11:39] ---
    Why are you saving us?!
[11:41] ---
    I don't know. I just moved in a flash,
    and this is what happened.
[11:45] ---
    But never mind me, that
    probably connects to the hallway.
[11:49] ---
    Hurry up and get out of here.
[11:50] ---
    What are you gonna do?!
[11:52] ---
    Just get going!
[11:56] ---
    G-Guys!
[11:58] ---
    What happened to Rindo?!
[12:00] ---
    I don't know.
[12:01] ---
    You don't know?! Is she still inside there?!
[12:03] ---
    Shut up!
[12:05] ---
    --Hey, hold on!
[12:05] ---
    --We don't know anything!
[12:09] ---
    I will do anything that I can for your sake.
[12:15] ---
    Hmph, idiot. You stand by your duty
    to that two-bit word "friend,"
[12:20] ---
    and you ended up hurting
    yourself, didn't you?!
[12:22] ---
    Well I'm not going to help you, okay?
    I'm fed up with you!
[12:26] ---
    Whether you owe me or not,
    I don't want to be your friend!
[12:29] ---
    You should have been
    turned off when I said so!
[12:31] ---
    And once you were turned off,
    you should have gotten out of here!
[12:34] ---
    You know?!
[12:35] ---
    If you want to go help her, why don't you?
[12:37] ---
    What are you talking about?
    Of course I don't want to go.
[12:41] ---
    Is that right? It looked to me
    like you're the one being hurt
[12:45] ---
    over that two-bit word.
[12:48] ---
    Why do you always have to be a know-it-all?
[12:50] ---
    Ranmaru is going to die,
    unless you do something.
[12:55] ---
    But... if I help her now, I'm sure she'll...
[13:01] ---
    And when she does...
[13:02] ---
    Huh, this is a surprise. Don't tell me
[13:07] ---
    you're afraid to get close to anyone.
[13:09] ---
    Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
    What do you know, anyway?!
[13:14] ---
    I don't know anything.
[13:15] ---
    You don't even know anything about me!
[13:18] ---
    You're right, I don't.
[13:20] ---
    I mean, I can't... I can't bear
    to go through that again...
[13:25] ---
    It's almost Valentine's Day, huh?
[13:28] ---
    Ichiko, have you decided who
    you're going to give chocolate to?
[13:30] ---
    Y-Yusuke, maybe.
[13:32] ---
    He's the nicest one of all the boys to me.
[13:35] ---
    Sure enough. In fact, I was
    thinking of giving mine to Yusuke, too.
[13:40] ---
    You, too, Kurumi?
[13:41] ---
    Aw, I don't stand a chance
    up against you, Ichiko.
[13:45] ---
    Th-That's not true.
[13:47] ---
    You mean it? Okay then,
    let's both give him chocolate.
[13:51] ---
    It wouldn't be right for either
    of us to get the jump on him, right?
[13:54] ---
    We're friends, after all.
[13:56] ---
    M-Mm-hmm...
[13:58] ---
    Okay, let's give them to him together.
[14:02] ---
    "March 14 (Wed)"
[14:04] ---
    Miss Sakura, um... this is from me.
[14:14] ---
    That sure is neat.
[14:15] ---
    This?
[14:17] ---
    It's so nice, I sure would like it.
[14:19] ---
    You wouldn't mind
    giving it to me, right? Please?
[14:22] ---
    N-No, not this.
[14:25] ---
    This was from Yusuke.
[14:27] ---
    Oh, so it's more important
    than the request of a friend.
[14:31] ---
    Okay then, fine! Starting tomorrow,
    Ichiko, I won't talk to you.
[14:35] ---
    Oh, but... Kurumi...
[14:39] ---
    W-Wait!
[14:43] ---
    It's so cute.
[14:45] ---
    Oh, yeah! I was thinking of
    declaring my love to Yusuke soon!
[14:49] ---
    Huh? But Kurumi, before, you said--
[14:51] ---
    I've already decided.
[14:52] ---
    Also, Ichiko, I want to have your blessing!
[14:56] ---
    So pray for me that I succeed!
[14:59] ---
    We're friends, right?
[15:03] ---
    If it means losing my friend
    and being all alone...
[15:07] ---
    Please, God, let Kurumi
    and Yusuke hit it off well.
[15:12] ---
    Sorry,
[15:13] ---
    but I like Ichiko.
[15:20] ---
    Aw, Yusuke, you poor thing.
    And after you gave her that brooch, too.
[15:24] ---
    Ichiko told me "I don't want
    this cheap toy," and gave it to me.
[15:33] ---
    Oh, good morning.
[15:42] ---
    I don't know what it is
    that's troubling you so much,
[15:46] ---
    nor do I know the reason for it.
[15:48] ---
    I've just noticed something lately.
[15:51] ---
    It's not something I'd like to admit, though.
[15:54] ---
    Whenever you're downhearted,
    it throws me off my game.
[15:57] ---
    So what if it does?
[15:59] ---
    I'm telling you...
[16:03] ---
    Stop always acting like such a wuss!
[16:06] ---
    Look sharp, already, Ichiko!
[16:10] ---
    With your worries, and pretending
    to be something you're not,
[16:13] ---
    if you're not going to be
    able to do anything as a result,
[16:16] ---
    it's all the more reason for
    you to stop thinking at all.
[16:20] ---
    Ee-yow!
[16:23] ---
    Talk big, will you?!
[16:27] ---
    Why, you poverty god!
[16:29] ---
    Ha, what a simpleton. Whoopsie-daisy!
[16:31] ---
    Stop dodging me, you--
[16:32] ---
    "Pierce"
[16:33] ---
    --Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[16:33] ---
    --Okay, just a little longer desu.
[16:37] ---
    Okay, all done.
[16:38] ---
    Let me tell you, that hurts
    like you wouldn't believe!
[16:41] ---
    That pain will turn to pleasure soon enough.
[16:43] ---
    Nothing's turning anything!
[16:44] ---
    Think fast.
[16:45] ---
    Is this...?
[16:47] ---
    This once, consider what you
    should do, and what it is you want,
[16:52] ---
    clear your head, and try asking
    your true self what those are.
[17:02] ---
    This is starting to get
    really hard, even for me.
[17:05] ---
    I am not about to die here, though...
[17:10] ---
    What is a mouse doing in a place like this?
[17:13] ---
    Whoa, now there's a snake?!
[17:15] ---
    'Sup.
[17:17] ---
    Sakura?!
[17:18] ---
    Why are you being swallowed by a snake?!
[17:20] ---
    And besides, I thought you had run away!
[17:22] ---
    If you stay here, you're gonna die!
[17:25] ---
    What is this? It's good!
[17:26] ---
    So happiness energy tastes good, eh?
[17:29] ---
    So? Perking up any?
[17:31] ---
    Perking up? It doesn't happen that fast--
[17:34] ---
    Huh? I think I am.
[17:36] ---
    All right, then, let's get out of here!
[17:40] ---
    Now there's a monkey?
    But how are we supposed to get out?
[17:46] ---
    By blowing all of this away!
[17:48] ---
    Ha, I see!
[17:57] ---
    Rindo Ranmaru is back!
[18:01] ---
    Looks like I owe you another big one, huh?
[18:06] ---
    Listen, what will it take for
    you to stop hanging around me?
[18:12] ---
    If that's what you really
    want me to do, I will.
[18:16] ---
    But tell me, why is it that you
    always push people away like this?
[18:21] ---
    Something really did happen
    a long time ago, huh?
[18:25] ---
    How did you...?
[18:26] ---
    Oh, Momiji was saying
    how she thought as much.
[18:30] ---
    She's got a big fat mouth.
[18:33] ---
    Also, there's this.
[18:35] ---
    What is it?
[18:36] ---
    Momiji gave it to me.
[18:37] ---
    She said that by using it,
    I could learn the secrets of your heart.
[18:43] ---
    Sakura, if you don't want
    to talk about the past,
[18:47] ---
    then you don't have to force
    yourself to do so for me.
[18:50] ---
    But it's also true that I want to help you.
[18:54] ---
    Someday... Someday, when you
    feel that you can trust me enough...
[18:59] ---
    I... I can use that...
[19:03] ---
    Huh? You mean it?
[19:06] ---
    If you don't want to hear
    it, that's fine, too.
[19:07] ---
    O-Oh, no, I'll listen!
    I want to know more about you.
[19:15] ---
    Oh, so that's what you
    were after from the start.
[19:18] ---
    Rather than saying bad things about her,
[19:20] ---
    you can have more fun
    if you get close to her.
[19:23] ---
    If you say "we're friends, right?"
    she'll give you anything.
[19:29] ---
    Good morning, Ichiko. You can have this back.
[19:31] ---
    Yusuke said he was going to
    buy me something even better.
[19:35] ---
    Thanks for indulging me earlier--
[19:36] ---
    I don't want it.
[19:39] ---
    I'm... through with this.
[19:42] ---
    What?
[19:43] ---
    I said, I don't want this cheap toy anymore.
[19:49] ---
    Don't go thinking I'm unfortunate, okay?
[19:52] ---
    It's only natural that people are
    jealous of those who are advantaged.
[19:56] ---
    You have to have enough
    strength to deflect that jealousy.
[20:00] ---
    Is that why you don't try to make friends?
[20:03] ---
    Friends?! That's just some word!
[20:06] ---
    It's lame! Everyone out there is superficial!
[20:10] ---
    Not a single person has ever
    wanted to know what's on the inside!
[20:12] ---
    Nothing good is going to come of
    wishing happiness on those people!
[20:16] ---
    That's why I've decided
    to just think of myself!
[20:20] ---
    The same is true of you.
    Someday, you're certain to use me.
[20:24] ---
    I wouldn't do something like that!
[20:26] ---
    You can say whatever you want to.
[20:30] ---
    Then why did you let me
    know about your past?!
[20:33] ---
    It's because you never want to
    go through that again, isn't it?!
[20:36] ---
    It's because you don't want me
[20:37] ---
    becoming like that Kurumi girl, isn't it?!
[20:40] ---
    Well...
[20:41] ---
    I promise you that I will
    never betray you like that.
[20:45] ---
    No... you will.
[20:47] ---
    No, I won't.
[20:49] ---
    You will.
[20:50] ---
    I won't.
[20:51] ---
    You will.
[20:51] ---
    I won't!
[20:52] ---
    You will, I tell you!
[20:54] ---
    I won't, I tell you!
[20:55] ---
    You will, you will, you
    will, you will, you will!
[20:56] ---
    I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't!
[20:58] ---
    --You will.
[20:59] ---
    --I won't!
[21:02] ---
    You will. I'm sure you will.
[21:05] ---
    I won't. I won't do such a thing.
[21:08] ---
    Please believe me.
[21:15] ---
    Y-You really...
[21:18] ---
    ...won't?
[21:21] ---
    No, I won't.
[21:57] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[22:01] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[22:05] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[22:09] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[22:13] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[22:20] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[22:28] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:31] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[22:36] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[22:39] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[22:43] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:46] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[22:51] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[22:54] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[22:59] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[23:04] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[23:08] ---
    Let's go for some karaoke, Sakura!
[23:10] ---
    Why me?
[23:11] ---
    Wah! Let's go, let's go, let's go!
[23:14] ---
    --Listen, Rindo, it's only
    been one day. It's too soon.
[23:14] ---
    --Ha ha ha, we'll sing our butts off!
[23:17] ---
    "Chop chop"
[23:17] ---
    Ah, don't be so formal!
    I told you, you can call me Ranmaru!
[23:22] ---
    Come on, get a move on!
[23:23] ---
    It's more fun than counting
    the weave of your tatami mats.
[23:26] ---
    You keep quiet!
[23:28] ---
    Say, Ranmaru...
[23:30] ---
    ...in that case, would you...
[23:33] ---
    Would you call me by my name, too?
[23:38] ---
    Let's go, Ichiko!
[23:40] ---
    You're free to call me "Momiji," too.
[23:42] ---
    You keep your mouth shut, poverty god!
[23:46] ---
    "This week's" "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:46] ---
    "Fast Forward ×3"
[23:46] ---
    This week's
[23:47] ---
    Why, you Nadeshiko!
[23:47] ---
    Everyone, did you see my
    whirlwind exploits again this week?
[23:50] ---
    This week, I was here!
[23:51] ---
    "A tennis showdown and a cook-off"
    "Next time, it's a double-feature"
SIGN    "Eh?! You Said, 'After All This'?!" "There's No Way That Happens after Just Two Minutes!!!!"
[24:01] ---**
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

9 - Eh?! You Said, 'After All This'?! & There's No Way That Happens After Just Two Minutes!!!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    "Extraneous Round!"
[00:17] ---
    "Fight!"
[00:18] ---
    Sound off!
[00:20] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:20] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:24] ---
    Sound off!
[00:25] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:25] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:29] ---
    Sound off!
[00:31] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:31] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:35] ---
    Sound off!
[00:36] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:36] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:40] ---
    Sound off!
[00:42] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:42] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:46] ---
    Sound off!
[00:47] ---
    --Fight! Fight! Fight!
[00:47] ---
    --Oh! Oh! Oh!
[00:55] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[00:58] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:01] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:06] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:10] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:12] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[01:19] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[01:23] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[01:27] ---
    Is this right?
[01:29] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[01:35] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[01:40] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:42] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:45] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[01:48] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[01:53] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:57] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[01:59] ---
    As you please
[02:04] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[02:06] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[02:09] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[02:14] ---
    and bust it up
[02:21] ---
    Today is the day that I drill
    into every fiber of your being...
[02:27] ---
    ...that a poverty god such as yourself...
[02:29] ---
    ...would be presumptuous
    to even begin to defy me!
[02:33] ---
    Hmph. Uh, little girl, um... that is...
[02:39] ---
    Uh... Hey!
[02:44] ---
    "Round 9!"
    "Eh?! You Said, 'After All This'?!"
[02:47] ---
    "Ten minutes earlier..."
[02:49] ---
    Okay, since the usual teacher
[02:51] ---
    who takes care of girls'
    phys ed is out today,
[02:55] ---
    today's class will be held
    jointly with the boys. As such,
[02:58] ---
    today we will be having
    special mixed pairs tennis.
[03:03] ---
    Doubles, huh?
[03:05] ---
    Which means, I have to pick the boy
    that I'm going to be paired with.
[03:11] ---
    Go! You can at least call out to him!
[03:15] ---
    S-Say, there...!
[03:19] ---
    What?
[03:21] ---
    W-Would you... Would you...
[03:24] ---
    ...l-like to pair up with me?
[03:28] ---
    Sure.
[03:30] ---
    That's it! Let 'er rip!
[03:31] ---
    Oh, but I can't!
[03:33] ---
    Here, put your hips into it more...
[03:35] ---
    From these doubles,
    will spring a lifetime of doubles!
[03:40] ---
    Or that may happen, but
    there's no way I can say that!
[03:44] ---
    --Hyah! No way!
[03:45] ---
    --W-What happened to Rindo?!
[03:48] ---
    Miss Sakura!
[03:50] ---
    Could I ask you to pair up with me?
[03:53] ---
    Me, by all means!
[03:54] ---
    No, me!
[03:56] ---
    Just a moment, boys.
[03:58] ---
    Commoners such as yourself
[04:00] ---
    are unfit to pair with
    the lovely and noble Miss Sakura.
[04:04] ---
    Who are you?!
[04:05] ---
    I am the Prince of the
    Tennis Club, Adenokoji Shion!
[04:10] ---
    A self-proclaimed prince.
[04:11] ---
    Yeah, of the soft tennis club.
[04:13] ---
    A similarly noble person like me
    is better suited for Miss Sakura.
[04:18] ---
    Would you pair with me?
[04:21] ---
    Yeah, sure. Anyone is fine.
[04:24] ---
    Huh? Did you just wipe your hand?
[04:25] ---
    "Screaming"
[04:28] ---
    This sucks, all right.
[04:30] ---
    It's icky. Hey boys,
    aren't you being overly rude?
[04:34] ---
    Stop that.
[04:36] ---
    The more thin-skinned you are,
    the more stuck-up they get.
[04:41] ---
    You can dispel your daily
    resentment out there on the court!
[04:45] ---
    M-Miss Binboda?
[04:47] ---
    Poverty god?
    What's the deal with the gorilla?
[04:50] ---
    His name is Gorihara!
    He's in the same tennis club as I am,
[04:54] ---
    and has been my rival
    ever since middle school.
[04:57] ---
    Adenokoji the Technician
    and Gorihara the Crusher.
[05:00] ---
    Our rivalry is famous all over the country,
[05:03] ---
    --and we've already had
    several major shoot-outs...
[05:03] ---
    --Well, none of that makes any difference.
[05:05] ---
    --Huh? No way!
[05:07] ---
    If you can beat that girl,
    I'll give you a year's supply of bananas.
[05:10] ---
    Bring it on!
[05:12] ---
    If you're my opponent, poverty god,
    I'm holding nothing back!
[05:15] ---
    Today is the day that I drill
    into every fiber of your being
[05:18] ---
    that a poverty god such as yourself
[05:20] ---
    would be presumptuous
    to even begin to defy me!
[05:23] ---
    Hmph. Uh, little girl, um... that is...
[05:27] ---
    Uh... Hey!
[05:28] ---
    They're both spoiling for this fight!
    Good luck, both of you!
[05:32] ---
    It won't be much fun to
    play a regular game, right?
[05:35] ---
    What do you say we make a wager?
    That will get us fired up, right?
[05:39] ---
    Fine with me!
[05:40] ---
    If I win, will you finally
    disappear from my sight for good?
[05:44] ---
    Very well. In return, when you lose,
[05:48] ---
    you will turn over your happiness
    energy to me without a fuss.
[05:53] ---
    Would you two like to make a bet, as well?
[05:56] ---
    Sounds fun. All right, then...
[05:58] ---
    He'll do anything! If he loses,
    he'll shave his head bald!
[06:03] ---
    The prince, that is.
[06:04] ---
    Huh? You volunteered that kind of quick, huh?
[06:05] ---
    You volunteered something that
    terribly awful kind of quick, huh?
[06:08] ---
    Don't sell short the
    determination of a prince.
[06:10] ---
    In that case, if we lose,
    then Gorihara will put on...
[06:13] ---
    ...a "Live a Week in a Cage
    With a She-Gorilla in Heat,
[06:17] ---
    and See if He Can Preserve
    His Chastity Tour!"
[06:23] ---
    Therein lies a fight that we cannot lose!
[06:29] ---
    I've only ever played a little bit of tennis,
[06:32] ---
    but I've still got the poverty god beat.
[06:34] ---
    Now I have to just keep
    from returning the ball
[06:36] ---
    to Bigfoot there as much as possible.
[06:45] ---
    That gorilla is awesome!
[06:46] ---
    Hey, you lousy gorilla!
[06:48] ---
    How could you do that to Miss Sakura?!
[06:49] ---
    You big jerk!
[06:50] ---
    Knock it off! This is tennis, not a fight!
[06:54] ---
    If you can't understand that,
    then get off the court this minute!
[06:58] ---
    Besides...
[07:00] ---
    ...shouldn't you be more
    concerned about Miss Sakura
[07:03] ---
    than you are about directing
    your anger at Gorihara?
[07:06] ---
    Prince...
[07:08] ---
    You're right.
[07:09] ---
    Any humiliation I suffer on the court
[07:11] ---
    deserves to be paid back on the court!
[07:13] ---
    Miss Sakura, you understood me!
[07:16] ---
    Okay, here comes the next one!
[07:26] ---
    Are you okay, Gorihara?
[07:29] ---
    Hey...
[07:32] ---
    Next time, you're gonna
    get off with worse than this!
[07:35] ---
    "Shudder"
[07:37] ---
    Not bad at all, Ichiko!
[07:38] ---
    "Self-suggestion"
[07:39] ---
    Th-This is encouraging, isn't it?
[07:42] ---
    Now it's my turn!
[07:44] ---
    I may not have the power that Gorihara has,
[07:46] ---
    but go ahead and keep up with
    my ever-changing serve, if you can!
[07:55] ---
    Oh, that spin is awesome!
[07:59] ---
    Huh?
[08:01] ---
    Gum-Gum...
[08:02] ---
    Receive!
[08:04] ---
    Hey, Judge, stretching
    your arms is against the rules!
[08:07] ---
    After that, you're focused on the rules?!
[08:10] ---
    What is with these two?
[08:12] ---
    From here on, with Gorihara
    cowering before Ichiko,
[08:16] ---
    and the prince being baffled
    by Momiji's impossible moves,
[08:19] ---
    this match has taken some
    turns contrary to my expectations,
[08:22] ---
    and now, it has reached the final set.
[08:26] ---
    Binboda...
[08:28] ---
    Honestly, your tricky
    moves threw me at first,
[08:31] ---
    but I'm gradually starting to get
    used to how off-the-wall they are.
[08:35] ---
    Hmph, after just that,
    you think you know my moves?
[08:39] ---
    Allow me to show you...
[08:41] ---
    ...the true essence of "tricky"!
[08:42] ---
    Wha--?
[08:43] ---
    What kind of moves are those?!
[08:45] ---
    It looks like there are
    many different Binbodas!
[08:50] ---
    By moving that fast, she is able
    to make afterimages of herself?
[08:53] ---
    What kind of girl is Binboda?!
    Wait, calm down, Adenokoji Shion!
[08:58] ---
    Watch closely! They're just afterimages!
[09:00] ---
    There's only one real ball!
[09:02] ---
    The real one is right here!
[09:06] ---
    "Correct answer: They're all real"
[09:08] ---
    Afterimages... with mass?!
[09:11] ---
    Yes.
[09:12] ---
    Momiji isn't bad, herself.
[09:14] ---
    Wait, those aren't afterimages,
    those are clones! Huh?
[09:18] ---
    Prince, are you okay?
[09:20] ---
    I've had it. I have no idea
    what anything is anymore.
[09:25] ---
    Get a hold of yourself, prince!
[09:28] ---
    Miss Sakura, you take it from here.
[09:31] ---
    Seriously, just don't let them shave my head.
[09:37] ---
    Prince!
[09:39] ---
    Why, you poverty god!
[09:41] ---
    Time out a second!
    I'm going to go fetch my racket.
[09:45] ---
    Thanks for waiting.
[09:47] ---
    Wait, your racket? But that's...
[09:51] ---
    That's your Somin Shorai, isn't it?
[09:54] ---
    Here goes!
[09:55] ---
    Here goes, huh?
[09:57] ---
    What do you think will happen
    if you use that in front of everyone?
[10:01] ---
    Whoa! A sudden gust of wind!
[10:03] ---
    Ow! I've got sand in my
    eyes, and I can't see!
[10:07] ---
    Happiness energy comes in handy, huh?
[10:11] ---
    But you're going too far.
[10:12] ---
    What is all this?!
[10:15] ---
    Ichiko! Momiji!
[10:17] ---
    This is a fight to avenge the prince!
[10:19] ---
    I'm not dead!
[10:22] ---
    Take this!
[10:27] ---
    Aw, this is not really
    my thing. But then again,
[10:32] ---
    running away bugs me, too!
[10:35] ---
    Who is still in there?!
[10:37] ---
    Boobs, flat-chest, the
    prince, and the gorilla!
[10:39] ---
    That's nice and easy to understand.
[10:41] ---
    At any rate, the rest of
    you students, take shelter!
[10:47] ---
    I can see something now!
[10:50] ---
    W-What on earth is
    going on inside that storm?!
[10:59] ---
    This is tennis, right?!
[11:12] ---
    Class is over already?
[11:19] ---
    The class blew away?!
[11:22] ---
    Since we can't use the courts
    anymore, tennis is cancelled.
[11:26] ---
    A tie is not going to cut it!
[11:28] ---
    I don't think the game is going to
    end without someone getting killed.
[11:32] ---
    You guys sure are spunky, huh?
[11:35] ---
    And so, with the match being
    called, the game ends in a tie.
[11:38] ---
    The prince and gorilla get
    out of their penalty game...
[11:41] ---
    We've got your favorite--sakura mochi!
[11:43] ---
    "Translation: I'm scared of Sakura!!!"
[11:45] ---
    We've got some *momiji manju
    *from Hiroshima here!
[11:48] ---
    I'm scared of Momiji!
[11:50] ---
    They each developed their
    own special case of gynophobia,
[11:54] ---
    and all's well that ends well.
[11:56] ---
    How so?!
[12:03] ---
    "This week's"
[12:03] ---
    This week's
[12:04] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[12:04] ---
    Why, you don't even have
    to look for Nadeshiko!
[12:07] ---
    I've finally done it!
[12:07] ---
    "Miss Nadeshiko's First
    Lines in the Main Episode"
[12:18] ---
    I see. If you're willing to go that far,
[12:22] ---
    then all right. I will take responsibility.
[12:27] ---
    I will leave everything from
    here on up to your discretion.
[12:30] ---
    Please, go now and ascertain
    matters with your own eyes.
[12:35] ---
    "Round 9.5!" "There's No Way
    That Happens after Just Two Minutes!!!!"
[12:38] ---
    All right! I've put this
    off for a long time, now,
[12:43] ---
    but today's the day I get this done!
[12:46] ---
    Cooking for myself!
[12:48] ---
    Suwano...
[12:50] ---
    Miss Ichiko, do not always get
    delivery and convenience-store food;
[12:54] ---
    cook for yourself.
    And don't forget to eat three meals--
[12:57] ---
    morning, noon, and night, every day.
[13:00] ---
    Relax. If I set my mind to it,
    I can handle cooking.
[13:05] ---
    Sure, I'm a beginner,
[13:07] ---
    and I can't make food the way
    you do right off the bat, Suwano,
[13:11] ---
    --but I do know that if I can make
    everyone else say how delicious
[13:11] ---
    --Yum!
[13:14] ---
    --the things I made are, I will be happy.
[13:15] ---
    --Yum!
[13:17] ---
    Gah! How come Tsuwabuki showed up?!
[13:20] ---
    "Cooking Even a Monkey Can Do"
[13:21] ---
    Mm-hmm, in any event, I'm doing this!
[13:24] ---
    First... I should prepare
    the rice ahead of time...
[13:28] ---
    The enemy general's head. Get it?
[13:31] ---
    Seriously darvish!
[13:31] ---
    "Whooooooooa"
    "Ker-smash!"
[13:33] ---
    If I'd won that tennis match,
    I could have driven her away...
[13:37] ---
    The biggest mistake wasn't losing the game,
[13:39] ---
    it was getting caught up in all the momentum.
[13:42] ---
    Oh, well. Time to snap out of it,
    and get cooking! Let's do this!
SIGN    "Afterward, the staff enjoyed using up the ingredients"
SIGN    "Two Minutes Later" "Languish" "Moo"
[13:53] ---
    "Dejection"
[13:55] ---
    "Sniffle"
[13:55] ---
    How could this happen?
    And in just two minutes?
[13:59] ---
    If she were here, I'm sure
    she would make fun of me.
[14:01] ---
    There's no way that happens
    after just two minutes!
[14:04] ---
    All right,
[14:06] ---
    I give up.
[14:08] ---
    Thank you for waiting! It's Pizza Cats!
[14:12] ---
    Thank you very much!
[14:13] ---
    Thank you!
[14:15] ---
    ♪ I'll start cooking
    tomorrow. Pizza, pizza... ♪
[14:19] ---
    ♪ I'll start cooking-- ♪
[14:20] ---
    This is yummy.
[14:22] ---
    Don't go eating my supper without asking!
[14:25] ---
    Who cares? You're not going to miss a little!
[14:28] ---
    I haven't eaten anything since yesterday!
[14:30] ---
    Besides... Besides, after
    such terrible treatment...
[14:35] ---
    There's no way that happens
    after just two minutes!
[14:37] ---
    Shut up!
[14:39] ---
    You've got no room to talk!
    Just give me back my pizza!
[14:46] ---
    Gaah! There's freshly-baked
    gooey cheese all over my face!
[14:51] ---
    Whoa, are you okay?
[14:55] ---
    This is yummy.
[14:57] ---
    Get lost!
[14:59] ---
    "Vermicelli Noodles"
[15:01] ---
    I want some of Suwano's cooking.
[15:13] ---
    I'd only heard stories, myself,
[15:15] ---
    but you're really in a
    knock-down drag-out, huh?
[15:18] ---
    Long time no see, Momiji.
[15:20] ---
    Huh? Is that you,
[15:23] ---
    Kuroyuri?
[15:26] ---
    What are you doing in the human realm?
[15:28] ---
    I came to give you a hand.
[15:30] ---
    Who, me?
[15:31] ---
    Be grateful for our friendship.
[15:33] ---
    I recommended myself to Big Sis Yamabuki.
[15:37] ---
    I told her, "I can't leave my
    dear friend hanging on her mission.
[15:39] ---
    I'm the only one who can help her out."
[15:43] ---
    Big Sis Yamabuki graciously agreed.
[15:46] ---
    She said that by all means, we should
    join forces and carry out the mission.
[15:51] ---
    And so, I look forward to working with you.
[15:56] ---
    I don't have the least bit of
    interest in helping you, though.
[15:59] ---
    As soon as I can swing it, I'll steal
    this Sakura Ichiko girl's happiness energy,
[16:03] ---
    and take all of the credit for it.
[16:05] ---
    Once I do, Big Sis Yamabuki
    will surely say...
[16:08] ---
    That was fantastic, Kuroyuri.
[16:11] ---
    Naw, just my normal thing.
[16:16] ---
    Booger! You booger-woman!
[16:22] ---
    Same old Kuroyuri!
[16:28] ---
    Your strength is on the
    decline, isn't it, Yuri-rin?
[16:31] ---
    Don't call me Yuri-rin!
    I'll kill you, you idiot!
[16:33] ---
    Damn it, she's making a fool out of me!
[16:35] ---
    How is it that despite usually
    being shiftless and lazy,
[16:37] ---
    she can be so unusually shrewd?
[16:39] ---
    Not to mention she's one of
    Big Sis Yamabuki's favorites.
[16:41] ---
    I'll drag her down! I'll drag her down!
[16:43] ---
    I see you're fostering rivalry for
    no reason, as usual. What a pain.
[16:48] ---
    But you know, I wasn't aware that
    you were that concerned about me.
[16:54] ---
    I'm grateful for your help.
[16:55] ---
    Ha, not at all.
[16:59] ---
    We're friends, aren't we?
[17:01] ---
    All right, I did it!
[17:03] ---
    "Sti-ink"
[17:04] ---
    I can do it if I just try, huh?
[17:07] ---
    Now, if I don't have
    any interference from her...
[17:10] ---
    Excuse me...
[17:11] ---
    There you are, you jinx!
[17:13] ---
    I'm a poverty god.
[17:15] ---
    Huh?
[17:17] ---
    Oh, my goodness...
    Another poverty god, right over there...
[17:21] ---
    This is Sakura Ichiko, huh?
[17:24] ---
    Indeed, she looks like she hasn't
    had any difficulty at all with you.
[17:28] ---
    Who is this? A friend of yours?
[17:32] ---
    Yes, a friend, I suppose you could call her.
[17:34] ---
    And this...
[17:36] ---
    ...is what you might call an alliance!
[17:39] ---
    Say your prayers!
[17:42] ---
    "Squish"
[17:43] ---
    Ee-yow!
[17:45] ---
    Aw, it broke!
[17:48] ---
    W-Why, you... Momiji!
[17:57] ---
    I forgot that the trial cake that
    I was making was still left in the oven.
[18:01] ---
    To make a cake explode,
    you must have some incredible talent.
[18:05] ---
    Damn it! Goda!
[18:08] ---
    The both of you want to
    make a fool of me, do you?!
[18:12] ---
    If that's how you want it,
    who cares about the people around us?!
[18:15] ---
    I'm going to burn you both down to ashes!
[18:18] ---
    Poverty god item! The Lemme Go Grandpa!
[18:21] ---
    When you call him "Pochi" he gets mad,
[18:21] ---
    "Pochi"
[18:23] ---
    and reduces everything within
    a 1-kilometer radius to ashes.
[18:29] ---
    Whoa! Pee-yew! What is that smell?!
[18:36] ---
    You distracted me, and I burnt the stew!
[18:38] ---
    "Gush gush"
[18:38] ---
    That's way beyond the "burnt" level!
[18:40] ---
    And don't be so quick to throw
    that out! You should cherish food!
[18:44] ---
    This is really bad.
[18:45] ---
    "Afterward, the staff tried to
    enjoy these ingredients, but couldn't"
[18:46] ---
    Even the dead down in hell would hate this.
[18:48] ---
    What do you mean?
[18:49] ---
    It's not like you can cook, either, can you?
[18:52] ---
    What are you talking about? I'm...
[18:55] ---
    I know...
[18:57] ---
    How about you and I,
[18:59] ---
    have a cook-off,
    as a rematch for our tennis game?
[19:03] ---
    With your happiness energy
    at stake, of course.
[19:06] ---
    F-F-Fine...! And if I win,
[19:08] ---
    you'll have to leave
    the human realm for real this time!
[19:11] ---
    Huh? Hey, you two...
[19:14] ---
    Do you mean it?
    I was half-joking when I said it,
[19:17] ---
    but where is this unfounded
    confidence in yourself coming from?
[19:19] ---
    I've got what it takes when it's game time.
[19:22] ---
    -- "Game time" just consists
    of the day-to-day buildup.
[19:22] ---
    --Hey, you guys...!
[19:25] ---
    You haven't built up anything, have you?!
[19:26] ---
    --Oh, shut up, shut up, shut up!
[19:26] ---
    --Don't ignore me.
[19:28] ---
    You there!
[19:30] ---
    You'll be the judge.
[19:32] ---
    Huh? Why me?
[19:34] ---
    Tell us what your favorite food is, Kuroyuri.
[19:37] ---
    We'll settle this by seeing who
    can make a dish more to your liking.
[19:41] ---
    Huh? O-Okay... Meat and potato stew?
[19:45] ---
    "Meat and Potatoes!"
[19:47] ---
    "Judge"
[19:49] ---
    Why me?
[19:52] ---
    Your hatred of losing is
    working against you, Ichiko.
[19:55] ---
    I don't care how much
    happiness energy you have,
[19:57] ---
    it's not going to make you
    a skilled cook overnight.
[20:00] ---
    But cooking is my specialty!
[20:05] ---
    This contest is all mine.
[20:08] ---
    All done! This will teach you a lesson!
[20:16] ---
    Huh? Meat and potato stew...?
[20:18] ---
    All done!
[20:22] ---
    What is this?
[20:23] ---
    Anyone can see that
    it's meat and potato stew.
[20:25] ---
    Anyone can see that it's
    black charcoal, can't they?
[20:28] ---
    You know, if you adjust the angle right,
    it looks like a human face.
[20:32] ---
    Quit your yapping and judge it!
[20:34] ---
    Judge it? For one thing,
    it's not even meat and potatoes.
[20:38] ---
    For another, it's definitely not even food.
[20:40] ---
    Listen, you!
[20:42] ---
    When judging food and people,
    it's not what you see that counts!
[20:45] ---
    It's what's inside!
[20:46] ---
    In other words, you're a failure
    as a human being, huh?
[20:50] ---
    Even so, this is...
[20:52] ---
    What choice is there? I'll judge it,
[20:55] ---
    and say that she's lost.
[21:35] ---
    The taste was so bad,
    she was called back to heaven.
[21:38] ---
    That was rude of her.
[21:40] ---
    But then, what do we
    do about the contest now?
[21:43] ---
    It's your responsibility; eat it.
[21:45] ---
    No. I'm not ready to die yet.
[21:48] ---
    Listen, you...
[21:50] ---
    All right, would you please
    give me a detailed report
[21:54] ---
    on Momiji's current status in
    the human realm and your analysis?
[21:59] ---
    Taking out Sakura Ichiko
    is more than I can handle!
[22:03] ---
    I think Momiji is doing quite well!
[22:06] ---
    You've been traumatized by her?!
[22:10] ---
    I'll get back to cooking tomorrow.
[22:11] ---
    This is yummy.
[22:33] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[22:37] ---
    she leans up against him
[22:41] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[22:45] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[22:49] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[22:56] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[23:04] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[23:07] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[23:12] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[23:16] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[23:19] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[23:23] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[23:27] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[23:30] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[23:35] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[23:41] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[23:44] ---
    "This week's"
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:44] ---
    I still haven't been able to stop laughing!
[23:46] ---
    "Miss Nadeshiko's First
    Lines in the Main Episode"
[23:51] ---
    "Next time: 'It's Like Secretly
    Mixing Pumpkin into a Stew..."
[23:56] ---
    "...in Order to Feed It to a Child
    Who Hates Pumpkin' (Long...)"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time on Good Luck Girl!"
    "Ibuki Shit"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

10 - It's Like Secretly Mixing Pumpkin Into a Stew in Order to Feed It to a Child Who Hates Pumpkin

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:39] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[00:42] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[00:45] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[00:50] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[00:54] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[00:56] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[01:02] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[01:07] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[01:11] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[01:13] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[01:19] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[01:24] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:26] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:29] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:32] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:37] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:41] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[01:43] ---
    Omou mama ni
[01:48] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[01:50] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[01:53] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[01:58] ---
    kowashite yuke
[02:06] ---
    "Science Room"
[02:06] ---
    Okay, that's all for class today.
[02:09] ---
    Everyone, be sure to put your
    equipment away before you leave.
[02:12] ---
    Ichiko!
[02:14] ---
    Let's go home together!
[02:16] ---
    Hey, Kobayashi!
[02:17] ---
    Do not make ramen with the alcohol lamps!
[02:20] ---
    Go do that someplace else!
[02:22] ---
    Oh, hey, wanna get some ramen on the way?
[02:26] ---
    Sorry, but I need to get
    home in a hurry today.
[02:30] ---
    Huh? What, again? You've been
    like this a lot lately. It's kinda cold.
[02:36] ---
    Well, you want to come over?
SIGN    "Round 10!" "It's Like Secretly Mixing Pumpkin into a Stew in Order to Feed It to a Child Who Hates Pumpkin"
[02:46] ---
    What have we here?!
[02:49] ---
    This little critter is out of this world!
[02:52] ---
    Isn't she cute?
[02:54] ---
    I can't take it! She's beyond cute!
[02:56] ---
    --Her name is Tama.
[02:56] ---
    --Just look at those eyes!
[02:59] ---
    What an unoriginal name.
[03:00] ---
    It happened about a week ago.
[03:04] ---
    She had been abandoned,
    out in the rain, in front of the apartments.
[03:09] ---
    It was a terrible sight.
    She was shivering from the cold.
[03:13] ---
    But lately, she's been getting
    a lot more lively, you know?
[03:17] ---
    How did you get to be so adorable?!
[03:20] ---
    Do you hear yourself?
    You're destroying your character.
[03:23] ---
    I never knew you were so animal-minded.
[03:26] ---
    Must be nice to be rich.
    You can keep both a dog and a cat.
[03:31] ---
    Hey, see here, Momo'o!
[03:34] ---
    Damn it, I'm the mascot
    character of this show!
[03:38] ---
    I am not going to let you
    take that away from me!
[03:39] ---
    --I haven't even appeared in a while!
[03:40] ---
    --He spoke!
[03:41] ---
    Cut it out! It's disgraceful!
[03:43] ---
    Besides, Big Sister Ichiko,
[03:45] ---
    you weren't that gentle
    when it was me, were you?!
[03:48] ---
    Kindly leave me out of this!
[03:50] ---
    It's gross how you're always so
    friendly to everyone, you mongrel!
[03:53] ---
    Hey, that's going too far.
[03:56] ---
    You are absolutely right, Big Sister Ichiko.
[03:58] ---
    Please, continue to tell
    me what an ugly cur I am.
[04:01] ---
    "Shock"
[04:02] ---
    He transformed!
[04:03] ---
    Hey! You guys are being too loud!
[04:06] ---
    Would you at least keep it
    down while others are eating?!
[04:11] ---
    It seems--Ranmaru, was it?
[04:15] ---
    --that you have been standing out more,
    and shaving time from our appearances.
[04:20] ---
    Didn't you know that to become
    a regular girl character on this show,
[04:22] ---
    "Rumble rumble"
[04:23] ---
    you first needed to have my permission?!
[04:25] ---
    Is that true?!
[04:26] ---
    Of course not!
[04:29] ---
    A flat chest!
[04:29] ---
    "Looks firm"
[04:30] ---
    Biceps!
[04:30] ---
    "Rugged"
[04:31] ---
    And abs!
[04:31] ---
    "Ripped"
[04:34] ---
    "Sigh"
[04:34] ---
    It's hopeless.
[04:36] ---
    Change--
[04:38] ---
    What a rude monk!
[04:41] ---
    --Where's the harm?!
[04:41] ---
    --What are you even sizing me up for, monk?!
[04:43] ---
    --I haven't shown up in a
    while, so cut me some slack!
[04:45] ---
    Kill him! Kill him!
[04:47] ---
    Go do that outside, all of you!
[04:52] ---
    By the way, the biggest
    noisemaker isn't around, huh?
[04:55] ---
    Seems like she'd be the first one to pile on.
[05:00] ---
    Okay, see you tomorrow.
[05:03] ---
    U-Uh, listen, Ranmaru...
[05:05] ---
    Hmm? What?
[05:06] ---
    Um...
[05:07] ---
    If you keep on absorbing
    the happiness energy of others,
[05:10] ---
    unconsciously though it may be,
[05:13] ---
    you're going to make those around
    you who are dear to you unhappy, too.
[05:18] ---
    Sorry, it's nothing after all.
[05:20] ---
    You're being weird. See you.
[05:29] ---
    What am I so spooked about?
    Obviously, it's best that I tell her soon.
[05:36] ---
    Sorry, Tama. I need to go to the restroom.
[05:49] ---
    W-Whose is that?!
[05:50] ---
    Sakura Ichiko, I presume?
[05:52] ---
    It talks!
[05:53] ---
    I apologize for startling you.
[05:55] ---
    The poop is standing up!
[05:57] ---
    Poop? How rude.
[06:01] ---
    I am Ibuki, the bathroom god.
    Pleasure to meet you.
[06:05] ---
    Er, what's with the nose plugs?
[06:08] ---
    Ahh... Is it the smell?
    Do I really smell that bad?
[06:12] ---
    You're not just thinking that
    because of my color and shape?
[06:15] ---
    I knew this would happen.
    It's okay. After all, I am...
[06:19] ---
    I'm sorry, you're right.
    It's wrong to judge by appearances, huh?
[06:24] ---
    You say that, but you left
    the nose plugs in, didn't you?!
[06:28] ---
    I've had enough. I'm going to die.
    Yeah, that's for the best!
[06:31] ---
    Well, what do you want?
[06:32] ---
    If you're a god, don't tell me
    you're with the poverty god, too!
[06:35] ---
    Poverty god? No, I don't know
    what you're talking about.
[06:39] ---
    You don't?
[06:40] ---
    Never mind that, please listen to me.
[06:41] ---
    "Great fortune" "Regular fortune"
[06:43] ---
    As it happens, there is what
    is called happiness energy
[06:45] ---
    and unhappiness energy in the world.
[06:48] ---
    You possess far more happiness
    energy than other people--
[06:52] ---
    Stop! Stop!
[06:54] ---
    I get the gist of what it
    is you're trying to say.
[06:58] ---
    You do? Really?
    Good, that will speed things up...
[07:02] ---
    What are you doing?
[07:07] ---
    W-Wait, what did you do that for?!
[07:10] ---
    Sorry, but we have enough gods here for now.
[07:13] ---
    How could you do this?! Listen to me!
[07:15] ---
    You possess an unbelievable quality
[07:17] ---
    that sucks out the happiness
    from others! If something isn't done,
[07:21] ---
    you're going to bring unhappiness
    to the people around you!
[07:24] ---
    Aw, I'm sick of this. What am I, after all?
[07:29] ---
    Yeah, all the more reason... to die.
[07:42] ---
    He said the same things the poverty god said.
[07:45] ---
    Listen to me.
[07:46] ---
    "Squoosh"
[07:46] ---
    The total amount of energy is fixed.
[07:49] ---
    It's proportional to the number of people.
[07:51] ---
    If you keep on absorbing
    the happiness energy of others,
[07:53] ---
    unconsciously though it may be,
[07:55] ---
    you're going to make those around
    you who are dear to you unhappy, too.
[07:58] ---
    Shut up, will you? Over and over again...
[08:02] ---
    I get it, already.
[08:07] ---
    I'm home! Tama!
[08:10] ---
    Tama?
[08:15] ---
    Now what? I'm sure it's her...
[08:20] ---
    "Udder-girl, I have your
    cat. If you want it back,
[08:22] ---
    get yourself over to Gym ♪2
    at the school! I mean it!
[08:26] ---
    --Beauty Princess Momiji."
[08:29] ---
    Why, that...!
[08:34] ---
    Hey, Misa,
[08:36] ---
    just how much ramen are you hungry for?
[08:40] ---
    Whoa, sounds like someone's here!
[08:42] ---
    Are you serious?!
[08:46] ---
    Come on, Misa, hurry up!
    Look, I'll buy you an onigiri!
[08:55] ---
    Well, well, what's happened
    to you? You look pale.
[08:59] ---
    Did you have something
    important stolen, or something?
[09:02] ---
    Give Tama back to me!
[09:04] ---
    And who are you calling "udder-girl"?!
[09:07] ---
    Good, good. You still have
    some human heart left.
[09:11] ---
    I'm glad you took in this cat
    out of the rain that evening.
[09:16] ---
    This cat, which I left
    outside your apartment.
[09:22] ---
    Huh? You did?
[09:24] ---
    Yeah.
[09:26] ---
    Long, drawn-out fights are not my cup of tea.
[09:29] ---
    I don't have the patience.
[09:30] ---
    But as a result of spending all this time,
[09:32] ---
    it got you riled up enough to come
    and get her after I took her away.
[09:37] ---
    I don't care how dumb you are, you
    understand it after going through it twice--
[09:41] ---
    what it's like to lose something dear to you.
[09:45] ---
    Although, if you hadn't
    shown concern over the cat,
[09:48] ---
    I was planning to take Ranmaru hostage.
[09:51] ---
    But then, taking *her
    *hostage would be a hard job.
[09:55] ---
    Why, you...!
[09:57] ---
    I've reaffirmed it!
[09:59] ---
    It looks like I really will have
    to deal with you once and for all!
[10:04] ---
    I'm going to kick your ass,
    and take Tama back from you!
[10:07] ---
    Go!
[10:08] ---
    My, my...
[10:11] ---
    You... lose!
[10:19] ---
    There, all done.
[10:22] ---
    Dayson--the one energy
    suction unit that doesn't quit.
[10:26] ---
    "Heavy Loss"
[10:27] ---
    This thing cost me a bundle.
[10:29] ---
    W-What are you doing?!
[10:35] ---
    At last... At last, it looks like
    I'll complete one of my missions.
[10:41] ---
    I'll be back before too long,
    so brace yourself until I return.
[10:45] ---
    Next time, I'm going to put a stop to
    your power to absorb happiness energy.
[10:51] ---
    Poverty god!
[10:56] ---
    Tama!
[10:58] ---
    Hang on, I'll be right there.
[11:05] ---
    Damn her... Brace myself
    until she returns, huh?
[11:08] ---
    Just watch. I'll get it back, no matter what.
[11:12] ---
    I am not about to let her do as she pleases.
[11:17] ---
    W-What's all this?!
[11:19] ---
    Tama!
[11:22] ---
    Stay with me! Stay with me!
    I have to get you out of here!
[11:34] ---
    Extraneous Round! Part 1!
[11:45] ---
    All of that, in just one second.
[11:48] ---
    Extraneous Round! Part 2!
[11:52] ---
    Ah! She's in my home again without asking!
[11:55] ---
    Today is the day...!
[11:57] ---
    N-No, wait, wait...
    Really, just let it go today...
[12:01] ---
    It's... the second day... of my period...
[12:04] ---
    I thought you said yours were light.
    And what are we working blue for?
[12:08] ---
    I'm low on blood...!
[12:19] ---
    Whoa, look!
[12:20] ---
    The gymnasium!
[12:25] ---
    Wait, oh, no! That's overdoing it!
[12:28] ---
    I'm not allowed to kill her!
[12:36] ---
    What am I supposed to do?
    All the ways out are completely blocked.
[12:43] ---
    Happiness is surely something
    that you share with others, you know?
[12:49] ---
    Tama, I'm so sorry.
[12:52] ---
    When it was Suwano,
    and Tsuwabuki, and Ranmaru,
[12:55] ---
    I was able to share my happiness energy
    with them, but this time, I can't.
[13:00] ---
    Without any gear, there's nothing I can do.
[13:03] ---
    I can't do anything for
    you. It's because of me...
[13:07] ---
    I'm so sorry, Tama... I'm so sorry...
[13:10] ---
    It looks like you finally understand.
[13:13] ---
    Or, at least, you're beginning to understand.
[13:16] ---
    --You're that poop god.
[13:18] ---
    --Bathroom god.
[13:19] ---
    Yeah, and you're kind of on fire.
[13:22] ---
    Yes. This is what true
    "not-give-a-flaming-crap" desperation is.
[13:28] ---
    You could laugh at that, couldn't you?
[13:30] ---
    You could give it a condescending chuckle.
[13:32] ---
    I was a fool for trying to
    lighten the mood even a little bit.
[13:35] ---
    Sorry, I just don't have
    the heart to retort right now.
[13:38] ---
    Wait, don't tell me you came to save me.
[13:42] ---
    No, I have no duty to help
    anyone as selfish as yourself.
[13:47] ---
    The one I'm here to save is that kitten.
[13:51] ---
    Tama?
[13:51] ---
    Yes. You didn't pay any attention
    at all to what I was telling you.
[13:57] ---
    Bathroom gods are the guardian deities
    of childbearing and child-rearing.
[14:00] ---
    Our role is to help with the
    development of small, newly-born lives.
[14:05] ---
    In other words, I'm here to
    rescue that kitten out of your hands.
[14:11] ---
    The energy that newly-born
    kitten has is already slight as it is,
[14:15] ---
    and as a result of you absorbing
    it away, there is very little left.
[14:18] ---
    You knew about this, right?
    That eventually, this would happen?
[14:22] ---
    Every last person who has
    ever gotten too close to you
[14:25] ---
    has ended up in unfortunate circumstances.
[14:28] ---
    But I've helped save each one of them!
[14:31] ---
    You mean, it's all your
    own little production, right?
[14:34] ---
    Playing hero must have
    been quite enjoyable for you.
[14:37] ---
    You've done that enough, now, haven't you?
[14:39] ---
    You see, people live desperately
    to preserve what little happiness they have.
[14:44] ---
    I don't think you have any
    right to take that from them.
[14:49] ---
    I...
[14:50] ---
    Oh, whoops.
[14:51] ---
    If I dawdle around too
    much, Tama really will die.
[14:54] ---
    God of fortune item!
    The Fusuke-blown Blowdart of Fortune!
[14:58] ---
    Where did you just pull that out of?
[15:00] ---
    I'll take Tama now.
[15:02] ---
    What are you going to do?
[15:03] ---
    I'm going to save Tama.
[15:05] ---
    This doesn't work in a roundabout way,
    like the poverty god's syringe;
[15:09] ---
    with this item, I can impart my
    own happiness energy with one blow.
[15:14] ---
    Hmm? What did you just say?
[15:16] ---
    I thought you told me you
    didn't know about poverty gods.
[15:22] ---
    What have you done?!
[15:23] ---
    I blew too hard, and imparted more
    happiness energy than I needed to!
[15:27] ---
    What happens if you oversupply her?!
[15:29] ---
    She becomes a god.
[15:30] ---
    Huh?!
[15:41] ---
    W-What is that?
[15:42] ---
    A beckoning cat.
[15:44] ---
    It looks like she's beckoning.
[15:45] ---
    Well, she is a beckoning cat.
[15:47] ---
    A beckoning cat leads its master
    to good fortune in times of peril.
[15:51] ---
    I am not going to save you.
[15:54] ---
    However, I will not stop her
    from trying to save you, either.
[16:00] ---
    Tama...
[16:08] ---
    But Tama, if we go that
    way, we can't get down.
[16:13] ---
    You're going to jump out the window?
[16:17] ---
    I'm not sure why...
[16:20] ---
    ...but I trust you, Tama!
[16:33] ---
    Ah, I've been saved!
[16:35] ---
    Wait, what were you doing there?
[16:39] ---
    Don't tell me you were coming to help...
[16:41] ---
    No, no way...
[16:45] ---
    "Happiness"
[16:49] ---
    All right, it's coming back!
[16:51] ---
    Come to me, Shorin Shorai!
[16:58] ---
    Huh? It's not coming...
[17:00] ---
    Hey, what are you doing?!
[17:06] ---
    Geez, what are you coming from there for?!
[17:13] ---
    Ah! The gymnasium!
[17:15] ---
    Not to mention the old classroom building.
    What's with this school?
[17:21] ---
    What is that?!
[17:22] ---
    Groundwater?!
[17:23] ---
    Whoa, it's hot!
[17:25] ---
    What is this?!
[17:26] ---
    A hot spring?
[17:27] ---
    It's a hot spring!
[17:30] ---
    Whoo, hot! Whoo, hot!
[17:32] ---
    Sakura Ichiko...
[17:35] ---
    There is something I'd like to give you.
[17:45] ---
    Aww, I'm back in the red again.
[17:48] ---
    You put your life on the line.
[17:51] ---
    For someone whose first
    words are usually "what a pain,"
[17:54] ---
    you've changed quite a bit
    since coming to the human realm.
[17:57] ---
    I have? Never mind me, did you
    give that you-know-what to her?
[18:02] ---
    Yeah.
[18:03] ---
    And she hasn't found out that
    you and I know each other, right?
[18:07] ---
    I-I think we're safe.
[18:09] ---
    This latest mission was like
    secretly mixing pumpkin
[18:14] ---
    into a stew in order to feed it
    to a child who hates pumpkin.
[18:18] ---
    If she knew I'd put you up to this,
    it would all be for nothing.
[18:21] ---
    I know. Making Sakura Ichiko realize
    what it means for something to be precious--
[18:26] ---
    that's what your goal was, right?
[18:35] ---
    There is something I'd like to give you.
[18:38] ---
    It's called a "keystone."
[18:41] ---
    As long as you keep it on
    your person, from here on,
[18:44] ---
    you will never again absorb
    happiness energy from anyone else.
[18:49] ---
    By now you must know...
[18:51] ---
    ...the terror that comes from
    losing something precious,
[18:54] ---
    and the joy of being together.
[19:02] ---
    What? Are you hungry?
[19:04] ---
    Just a minute, okay?
[19:08] ---
    Then again, I wonder...
[19:10] ---
    About what?
[19:11] ---
    Even without going to the trouble
    of bringing me in for this one,
[19:15] ---
    I wonder if she would have
    just done as you asked, Momiji.
[19:23] ---
    Would you mind... not being so ridiculous?
[19:46] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[19:50] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[19:54] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[19:58] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[20:02] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[20:10] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[20:17] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[20:20] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[20:25] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[20:29] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[20:32] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[20:36] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[20:40] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[20:43] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[20:48] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[20:54] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[20:57] ---
    Extraneous Round! Part 3!
[21:00] ---
    How can you do this to me,
    you poverty god?! Untie me from this!
[21:06] ---
    Go ahead and talk tough, while you still can.
[21:09] ---
    You'll be on your knees before
    the new poverty god item soon enough!
[21:13] ---
    "Swapping" "Swathe"
[21:14] ---
    Poverty god item! Swapping swathe!
[21:18] ---
    By using this, I am able to
    switch our minds with our bodies!
[21:22] ---
    I'm going to have you
    swap places with me now!
[21:28] ---
    Change!
[21:32] ---
    Oh, no! My chest is so flat!
[21:35] ---
    W-What are you going to do with my body?!
[21:39] ---
    It goes without saying.
[21:40] ---
    "Dine-and-dash!!"
[21:41] ---
    I'm going to commit as
    much mischief as I can as you,
[21:42] ---
    "Graffiti!"
[21:43] ---
    and sink your reputation
    as low as it will go.
[21:44] ---
    "Trampling flower beds!!"
[21:46] ---
    Y-You can't do that!
[21:47] ---
    But, before I do...
[21:49] ---
    These are amazing!
[21:51] ---
    Look how they sit!
    Look how they come together!
[21:53] ---
    "Squeal"
[21:53] ---
    First, I'm going to go enjoy having
    the huge breasts I always wanted!
[21:56] ---
    Wait, you god of flat-chestedness!
[21:59] ---
    I'm no longer an ironing board!
    Now these are breasts!
[22:03] ---
    "One minute later"
[22:06] ---
    I'm back.
[22:07] ---
    That was fast! What? What's wrong?
[22:09] ---
    Oh, what can I tell you?
[22:11] ---
    Just from walking, they bounce
    around so much it hurts.
[22:15] ---
    And it's absolutely crazy when I run.
[22:17] ---
    I can't see my feet, so I think
    I'm going to trip down the steps.
[22:20] ---
    It even takes more work
    to balance just standing up.
[22:22] ---
    Not to mention my shoulders are stiff.
    What am I, carrying a Myling?
[22:27] ---
    You do toil, in your own way, don't you?
[22:30] ---
    In your own way, you disgust me!
[22:31] ---
    "Wrap wrap"
[22:32] ---
    As long as we're at it,
    care to switch with me, Bobby?
[22:35] ---
    If you please!
[22:36] ---
    Oh, stop! Anything but that!
[22:40] ---
    Extraneous Round! Part 4!
[22:43] ---
    "Being chewed out"
[22:43] ---
    For crying out loud. To call not just Momo'o,
[22:45] ---
    but Ibuki to the human realm...
[22:48] ---
    Despite making progress with the mission,
    what if something unexpected had come up?
[22:51] ---
    Uh-huh, I'm sorry.
[22:53] ---
    Come to think of it,
[22:54] ---
    I sent off a present addressed
    to you, Big Sister Yamabuki.
[22:58] ---
    A present?
[23:01] ---
    W-Well, Momiji, you appear to be doing well.
[23:05] ---
    If you would just keep up the good work...
[23:06] ---
    "That's a buyoff"
[23:06] ---
    "Fan of Visual Bands"
[23:10] ---
    Extraneous Round! Part 5!
[23:16] ---
    Uh, do these two get along, or don't they?
[23:20] ---
    They do, don't they?
[23:21] ---
    Hey, I've got an idea!
[23:24] ---
    Tit-chiko and Momiji, how about
    we mash you up to be "Chichi-Momi"?
[23:25] ---
    "Momiji" "Chichiko"
[23:25] ---
    "Chichi-Momi" [breast fondling]
[23:30] ---
    "Slap" "Smack" "Bop"
[23:32] ---
    So they do get along.
[23:36] ---
    This week's
[23:36] ---
    "This week's"
[23:37] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:38] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:39] ---
    Did you all see my aromatic
    exploits this week, too?
[23:43] ---
    This week, I was here!
[23:45] ---
    Huh? Eep!
[23:47] ---
    Don't go concocting fakes, you stupid staff!
[23:50] ---
    I can't stand poop!
[23:51] ---
    "What is late-night anime for?"
    "Here at last is the bathhouse episode"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: '...Who Are You?!'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'Awash in makeup'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

11 - ...Who Are You?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    "Extraneous Round! Part Breasts"
[00:20] ---
    Is there any salvation in this life?
[00:24] ---
    Whoa, the monk is reading a newspaper!
[00:27] ---
    It's probably some sports rag
    full of pervy articles, isn't it?
[00:31] ---
    Is there indeed any
    salvation in this life...? Huh?
[00:38] ---
    "B-o-o-bs"
[00:41] ---
    "Phew"
[00:41] ---
    There it is!
[00:43] ---
    And so, Momo'o, today,
    as befits a late-night anime,
[00:47] ---
    we present the long-awaited
    fan-service episode!
[00:49] ---
    The "S" in "service" is
    also the "S" in "S&M"!
[00:52] ---
    Mm-hmm, outstanding!
    Now, let's open episode 11,
[00:54] ---
    at long last, the fan-service episode,
    with a resounding song!
[00:58] ---
    Yeah!
[00:59] ---
    "Ode to the Fan-service Episode"
[01:06] ---
    ♪ Rising over the female form ♪
[01:11] ---
    ♪ tower twin peaks ♪
[01:16] ---
    ♪ pinnacles of hope ♪
[01:21] ---
    ♪ in rosy pink ♪
[01:25] ---
    ♪ I love (I love) ♪
[01:28] ---
    ♪ boobies (boobies) ♪
[01:30] ---
    ♪ ginormous (ginormous) ♪
[01:33] ---
    ♪ hooters (hooters) ♪
[01:35] ---
    ♪ Ah-ah, boobies! ♪
[01:40] ---
    ♪ Boobies, ah-ah! ♪
[01:46] ---
    And with that, let's get started!
[01:55] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:58] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[02:01] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[02:06] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:10] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[02:12] ---
    Go ahead and bust it up as you please
[02:19] ---
    What was that happiness I spotted
[02:23] ---
    from atop someone's rail?
[02:27] ---
    Is this right?
[02:29] ---
    I'm sick of hearing about
    love, and passion, and dreams
[02:35] ---
    I'm bored; where shall I go?
[02:40] ---
    Are you ready?
[02:42] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[02:45] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[02:48] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[02:53] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[02:57] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[02:59] ---
    As you please
[03:04] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[03:06] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[03:09] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[03:14] ---
    and bust it up
[03:20] ---
    "Line in use"
[03:21] ---
    It has been two months already
    since you went to Sakura Ichiko.
[03:25] ---
    You yourself must be
    acutely aware of the fact
[03:28] ---
    that the outcome has thus
    far been unfavorable.
[03:31] ---
    Yes, ma'am.
[03:32] ---
    However, we are professionals.
[03:34] ---
    We cannot go on forever
    indulging in optimistic ideals.
[03:36] ---
    You will seek only to come up
    with some results quickly. Understood?
[03:41] ---
    Oh, yeah!
[03:43] ---
    Excuse me?
[03:44] ---
    I caught a rare monster!
[03:51] ---
    Y-Yikes, Big Sister Yamabuki means business!
[03:54] ---
    All right! I will do it!
    I will do it at once!
[03:57] ---
    If you are unable to do so,
    while I am reluctant to do this,
[04:00] ---
    I must judge you to be
    incompetent for the task,
[04:03] ---
    bring you back from there, and punish you.
[04:07] ---
    Are we clear?
[04:12] ---
    "Round 11!" "...Who Are You?!"
[04:18] ---
    Ugh, it's so hot. What's the deal here?
[04:25] ---
    I've gotta hop in the shower
    and wash this sweat off ASAP.
[04:33] ---
    Tama, what's the matter?
[04:35] ---
    Ah, so you are a well-known river lord, then?
[04:38] ---
    The poverty god!
[04:40] ---
    In the bathroom?
[04:41] ---
    I see, the humans did...?
    Those guys have no manners!
[04:45] ---
    Well then, I will give all that
    I can to service your needs today.
[04:50] ---
    Huh? I don't have to use my breasts?
    Oh, sir, you rascal...!
[04:55] ---
    How is the water temperature?
[05:00] ---
    What the hell are you doing?!
[05:03] ---
    Part time work as a soa[beep] girl.
[05:05] ---
    My repeated failures and loss
    of items has left my purse empty,
[05:09] ---
    and the only thing I have left to sell is...
[05:12] ---
    ...my one-and-only body!
[05:16] ---
    --I mean, why are you doing this in my home?!
[05:16] ---
    --All because of you-know-who...
[05:18] ---
    And what is that thing?!
[05:20] ---
    "Blush"
[05:21] ---
    I'll take her.
[05:23] ---
    Huh? You want this girl?
[05:25] ---
    The Kusare god has requested you, Ichi!
[05:27] ---
    Be extra sure that he
    is properly attended to.
[05:29] ---
    Huh?!
[05:30] ---
    Also, he says you don't
    need to use your breasts.
[05:33] ---
    Yes, you may.
[05:35] ---
    What? What do you mean,
    she can use her breasts?!
[05:38] ---
    Would you get out of
    here this instant, you idiots?!
[05:42] ---
    Aw, would you look at this!
    I can't use this bathtub!
[05:48] ---
    Not to mention, you smell
    pretty strong, yourself.
[05:51] ---
    Even poverty gods take baths, right?
[05:55] ---
    Who cares? Bathing is such a chore!
[05:58] ---
    What I'm saying is, don't come
    into my house when you're filthy!
[06:01] ---
    Your hair is getting all scraggly!
[06:02] ---
    Just how long has it been since you bathed?!
[06:11] ---
    Are you counting the days
    on your fingers? Weeks?
[06:15] ---
    Years.
[06:15] ---
    Wah! Get out! Come back after
    you've scrubbed from head to toe!
[06:19] ---
    "Rindo"
[06:19] ---
    A bath? Yeah, sure. Be my guest.
[06:22] ---
    Thank you, Ranmaru.
[06:24] ---
    Hey, no problem. Oh, but...
[06:27] ---
    ...right now, my pop is using it.
    You can go after.
[06:30] ---
    That's fine, but why are
    we out in your backyard?
[06:40] ---
    Sorry, I changed my mind.
[06:41] ---
    "Why?!"
[06:41] ---
    Huh?! Why?!
[06:42] ---
    I've got no choice but to go
    to a bathhouse or something.
[06:45] ---
    Oh, in that case, I wanna go, too!
[06:49] ---
    That job ended up taking things
    in an unexpected direction, huh?
[06:54] ---
    A bathhouse. While there,
[06:57] ---
    Sakura Ichiko will be away from
    her Somin Shorai, won't she?
[07:02] ---
    "You mean, you're going after
    her while she's bathing?"
[07:07] ---
    "Yunotake Bathhouse"
[07:12] ---
    --Why now, of all times?!
[07:12] ---
    --What's up with all the brothers
    and sisters in one place?
[07:14] ---
    --M-My pound is hearting...
[07:15] ---
    --Our bathroom is busted.
[07:16] ---
    --Long time no see, Tit-chiko!
[07:18] ---
    That's Ichiko!
[07:19] ---
    Oh, Rindo...
[07:21] ---
    You two have been chummy lately, huh?
[07:23] ---
    M-Much obliged.
[07:24] ---
    Why so polite?
[07:25] ---
    --I'm starting to get a bad
    feeling about this, somehow.
[07:25] ---
    --M-My pound is hearting...
[07:29] ---
    Oh, what a coincidence.
[07:31] ---
    I knew it!
[07:34] ---
    I guess it's still better than
    having the poverty god around.
[07:40] ---
    --Don't just go strolling in to
    the women's side, you mangy dog!
[07:41] ---
    --Ah, that hurts so good!
[07:45] ---
    --Ah, good... that's so good...
[07:45] ---
    --How can you do something like that?!
[07:48] ---
    --I can't believe you would
    stomp on a little puppy like that!
[07:54] ---
    Ah, man! You stay out of it!
[07:57] ---
    W-Whoa, Brother, that man was a dog!
    That dog became a man!
[08:04] ---
    Step right up and see for yourself!
SIGN    "One of the world's greatest marvels!! The Transforming Dog"
SIGN    "Murmur murmur" "¥1000 each"
[08:07] ---
    The world's most amazing transforming dog!
[08:11] ---
    It could work.
[08:12] ---
    Brother! Now there's a cat!
[08:14] ---
    "You keep away from Ichiko!!"
[08:16] ---
    "What?!!"
[08:16] ---
    "You want a piece of me?!!"
[08:18] ---
    Cut it out, both of you.
[08:20] ---
    Oho...
[08:21] ---
    Huh? So Tama transforms, too, huh?
[08:25] ---
    The world's most amazing cat girl!
[08:25] ---
    "One of the world's greatest marvels!!
    The Nyan-nyan girl"
[08:29] ---
    It could work.
[08:30] ---
    Huh?
[08:31] ---
    Hmm, am I the strange one
    for being so surprised?
[08:35] ---
    That girl's friends are interesting, huh?
[08:43] ---
    All right! I'm the first one in!
[08:46] ---
    --Yahoo!
[08:46] ---
    --Awesome! No one's here, Brother!
[08:51] ---
    No running, Ryuta! You'll get
    Sorata copying you, you know!
[08:53] ---
    Who cares? We're the
    only ones here, after all!
[08:56] ---
    What are you doing, Ranmaru?
[08:58] ---
    Huh? O-Oh, nothing...
[09:03] ---
    W-When I think that he's there,
    on the other side of this wall...
[09:10] ---
    Man and woman,
    without a stitch of clothing on...
[09:13] ---
    Though our bodies may be obstructed by walls,
[09:15] ---
    our yearning hearts become mist.
[09:18] ---
    Rise up and reach each other,
    misty steam affections!
[09:22] ---
    I'm floored!
[09:24] ---
    We're gonna have a lake of blood here!
[09:26] ---
    Aw, good grief. Don't go losing
    your head over a simple boy.
[09:34] ---
    Wow, what huge breasts!
    Amazing! They're like balloons!
[09:39] ---
    Be bad, be bad!
[09:42] ---
    Want to touch them?
[09:43] ---
    Can I?
[09:44] ---
    You can, but one touch costs ¥5000.
[09:47] ---
    And as a result, your brother might
    have to work so hard that it kills him.
[09:51] ---
    If you don't mind that, go ahead and touch.
[09:56] ---
    ¥5000! I say, ¥5000!
[10:01] ---
    I'm sorry, everyone...
[10:04] ---
    No, Brother, don't die!
[10:07] ---
    Stop making my sister cry!
[10:09] ---
    S-Sorry! I was joking!
    Joking! ¥5000 won't kill him!
[10:12] ---
    Besides,
[10:14] ---
    in a little while, you'll grow up
    to be just as big as I am, too.
[10:18] ---
    I will?
[10:19] ---
    You will, you will.
[10:20] ---
    Then again, what does
    she really have in there?
[10:23] ---
    Yeah, but Sister already
    looks the way she does.
[10:26] ---
    Honestly, there might not
    be much hope for the future.
[10:28] ---
    Mika! I'm just getting
    started, myself! I hope...
[10:32] ---
    Okay, everyone, count off!
[10:34] ---
    One!
[10:35] ---
    Two!
[10:36] ---
    Da!
[10:36] ---
    All right! I'll lead the charge!
[10:40] ---
    --Follow me!
[10:40] ---
    --Can we really do this?
[10:41] ---
    --Cover your crotches!
[10:41] ---
    --Knock it off, you guys.
[10:44] ---
    Oh, don't be a party-pooper!
[10:45] ---
    A-And I'm not that interested
    in seeing Tit-chiko naked.
[10:48] ---
    Who are you, our legal guardian?
[10:49] ---
    Yes, I am. But then, who are you two guys?
[10:53] ---
    Geez, you guys aren't little kids.
    Pipe down and get in the bath.
[10:58] ---
    I've gotta admit...
    ahh, a big bath sure is great.
[11:03] ---
    The fatigue of the day...
    just melts... away...
[11:14] ---
    It's his consciousness that melted away!
[11:16] ---
    --Man, they're so noisy.
[11:17] ---
    --Wake up, Brother!
[11:19] ---
    --No doubt! You guys aren't little kids.
[11:21] ---
    Pipe down and get in the bath.
[11:24] ---
    I'll wash your back for you, Ichiko!
[11:27] ---
    Thank you, Ranmaru.
[11:30] ---
    Easily done!
[11:33] ---
    "Rumble rumble"
[11:37] ---
    Poverty god item!
    "That which ya gave me!"
[11:41] ---
    It's a sadistic little item
    that delivers intense pain
[11:43] ---
    as it sucks out happiness
    energy from the wound.
[11:51] ---
    Ichiko, look out! It's Momiji!
[11:54] ---
    Too bad! Your happiness energy is mine!
[12:04] ---
    "Don't stare at me!!"
    "No, Tsuwabuki, I wasn't talking to you"
[12:10] ---
    Too bad! Sakura Ichiko,
    your happiness energy is mine!
[12:13] ---
    Watch out, Big Sister Ichiko!
[12:16] ---
    Wha--?!
[12:18] ---
    --What are you interfering for?!
[12:18] ---
    --What are you doing on the women's side?!
[12:21] ---
    Aiyee!
[12:25] ---
    Ah, a double-kick of delight!
[12:28] ---
    Why, you...!
[12:29] ---
    You knew that my younger
    sisters were over there, too, right?!
[12:33] ---
    S-Stop! I'm not into the thrill
    of being tormented by men!
[12:37] ---
    --Bite down on something, kid!
[12:38] ---
    --There is someone in here
    that surpasses deity, as well.
[12:40] ---
    --Do you know who I am?! Gah!
[12:41] ---
    --Farewell, Momo'o.
[12:43] ---
    "These two were already out"
[12:44] ---
    Let's not get involved with them too much.
[12:47] ---
    You really are... ever on guard, huh?!
[12:50] ---
    Your fault is that you
    do leave your guard down!
[12:56] ---
    Nice, Kumagai!
[12:59] ---
    I shall withdraw for now! Adios!
[13:02] ---
    Ah, hold it!
[13:06] ---
    Yow...!
[13:09] ---
    Why, you filthy cat!
[13:12] ---
    Nice one, Tama!
[13:14] ---
    Looks like you can't handle
    sneak attacks there, Momiji.
[13:17] ---
    Brace yourself,
[13:18] ---
    you poverty god!
[13:25] ---
    What? Just now, for a moment,
    you were truly panicked, huh?
[13:28] ---
    When you looked at the towel...
[13:28] ---
    "Gulp"
[13:30] ---
    Why, I have no idea what you mean.
[13:35] ---
    --I've got it!
[13:35] ---
    --No! Wait!
[13:36] ---
    You can't stand to have
    yourself washed, can you?!
[13:39] ---
    That explains the lame act!
[13:41] ---
    Give me a hand, Ranmaru!
    She hasn't had a bath in three years!
[13:45] ---
    I can't just let that pass! Roger wilco!
[13:48] ---
    It won't do to be scared of bathing, Momiji!
[13:50] ---
    Come on, Kumagai!
    We'll wash you, too, while we're at it!
[13:57] ---
    That was a bit refreshing.
[14:03] ---
    She shrunk?
[14:04] ---
    Wah! Momiji!
[14:07] ---
    Dip her in some hot water,
    and she'll return to normal.
[14:09] ---
    She's not seaweed.
[14:21] ---
    You see? She's back.
[14:23] ---
    She's not seaweed.
[14:25] ---
    Hmph, learned your lesson yet, you jerk?
[14:29] ---
    "He feels bad in his own
    way, and transformed"
[14:32] ---
    Now I'm all sweaty again.
[14:34] ---
    Poor little Inugami.
    Imagine, you expiring in a place like this.
[14:40] ---
    You must be pretty mortified.
[14:42] ---
    But rest at ease. What you leave undone...
[14:45] ---
    I swear to fulfill in your place!
[14:47] ---
    I told you to knock it off!
[14:50] ---
    What is your problem, kid?!
[14:52] ---
    Stop crying! You're an adult, right?!
[14:54] ---
    Aw, come on! It looks as
    though your sisters have already left!
[14:59] ---
    That's not the issue here!
[15:00] ---
    Ah, so then, you've just got cold feet!
[15:03] ---
    I won't let a healthy young man
    say he isn't interested in girls!
[15:06] ---
    W-Well...
[15:09] ---
    I'm interested like crazy, of course.
[15:12] ---
    What I mean is, my brother is watching!
[15:15] ---
    I'm not going to peek,
    nor will I let you, to set an example.
[15:18] ---
    Brother, we're getting out now!
[15:23] ---
    Which means, now that your brothers are gone,
[15:27] ---
    you can peek now without
    a second thought, right?
[15:30] ---
    I never said that, did I?
[15:31] ---
    Oh, ho, ho, be honest with yourself,
    be honest with yourself!
[15:36] ---
    For one thing, those two are
    in the same class that I am.
[15:38] ---
    If it ever got out,
    it would be no laughing matter.
[15:41] ---
    Besides, my brother owes his life to Sakura.
[15:44] ---
    Is that right?
[15:45] ---
    That was a long time ago.
[15:47] ---
    And while Rindo usually
    dresses up like a guy, she is a girl.
[15:52] ---
    There's no way she's going
    to take being seen naked lightly.
[15:54] ---
    He's such a fine man, taking
    my feelings into account, huh?
[15:58] ---
    H-He is? That's only normal.
[16:01] ---
    I've got no interest in the chick
    in the school uniform. None at all!
[16:06] ---
    I mean, she's all muscle, from head to toe.
[16:07] ---
    "Muscularity"
[16:08] ---
    Have you ever even looked at her?
[16:10] ---
    Her boobs don't bounce, even while running.
[16:11] ---
    Far from it; most of the viewer
    mail we get says things like
[16:14] ---
    "she's handsome," or
    "it's a shame you made her a girl,"
[16:17] ---
    rather than "she's cute."
[16:19] ---
    Keep it under control, Ranmaru!
[16:20] ---
    No, no way. Realistically thinking,
    she'd be the last one I'd look at.
[16:25] ---
    Listen here, monk.
    You say rude things like that,
[16:29] ---
    --and I'll kick your ass.
[16:29] ---
    --I'll kick your ass, you dirty monk!
[16:33] ---
    Ah! Oh, crap--
[16:36] ---
    W-What nicely defined, lean muscles!
[16:39] ---
    "Bodybuilder term
    for well-defined muscles"
[16:39] ---
    Nice cut!
[16:41] ---
    To be able to see it up-close
    like this is my life's greatest...
[16:45] ---
    Hmph! You fell for it, school-uniform chick!
[16:48] ---
    My objective was to incite you
    into destroying the wall--huh?
[16:51] ---
    I regret nothing!
[16:54] ---
    Uh-oh. What do I do in this situation?
[16:58] ---
    I only glanced back for a moment, but...
[17:00] ---
    Keep calm. At a time like this...
[17:03] ---
    Keita, in such situations,
    you can count off pi.
[17:03] ---
    "Tsuwabuki's grandmother"
[17:09] ---
    That's it! Thank you, Grandma!
[17:11] ---
    3.14! 3.14! 3.14!
[17:14] ---
    3.14! 3.14!
[17:36] ---
    "Fwheet"
[17:37] ---
    Emergency summons! Emergency summons!
[17:39] ---
    The situation is extremely serious!
[17:41] ---
    Come up with a resolution immediately
[17:43] ---
    and bring the situation under control!
[17:44] ---
    Does anyone have any ideas?
[17:44] ---
    "Topic: How do we shrug this
    off like it never happened?!"
[17:46] ---
    Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
[17:48] ---
    Kill everyone, without any exceptions!
[17:50] ---
    Overruled!
[17:50] ---
    Beat them enough to erase their memories!
[17:52] ---
    Overruled!
[17:52] ---
    Blush?
[17:53] ---
    Huh? Hmm, overruled.
[17:55] ---
    Let's see... Pretend to be someone else.
[17:55] ---
    "Hurry!"
[17:57] ---
    That's it! That's all we can do!
[17:59] ---
    Settle down, everyone!
[18:00] ---
    It's hopeless! Too much time is going by!
[18:03] ---
    Somebody do something!
[18:21] ---
    Um... that is...
[18:25] ---
    I didn't... see anything.
[18:27] ---
    That's a lie!
[18:28] ---
    That boy is lying!
[18:30] ---
    That can't be true!
[18:40] ---
    Brother, what's going on?
    I heard a loud crash.
[18:44] ---
    It's nothing! Come on back, Ryu!
[18:46] ---
    Why are you all hunched over?
[18:53] ---
    Geez, you took your time!
[18:56] ---
    What's the matter?
[18:57] ---
    Something came up.
[18:58] ---
    What do you mean?
[18:59] ---
    Never mind, Brother. I don't think
    we should see Sakura anymore...
[19:03] ---
    "Gulp"
[19:04] ---
    What?
[19:05] ---
    Er, just... don't say that name right now.
[19:08] ---
    Why not?
[19:09] ---
    Because Brother is all man.
[19:11] ---
    Huh? What does that mean?
[19:13] ---
    What happened in there?
[19:15] ---
    No, uh...
[19:16] ---
    See, right now, I have to come up
    with some relief measures...
[19:22] ---
    Bye-bye, Tsuwabuki. See you later.
[19:25] ---
    Huh? Who's that?
[19:29] ---
    Why that poverty god...!
[19:31] ---
    I'll just bet she's the one
    who wore my clothes home!
[19:35] ---
    Well, I guess that doesn't matter right now.
[19:42] ---
    How am I going to face
    anyone at school tomorrow?
[19:46] ---
    I wish I could just crawl into a hole.
[19:52] ---
    What are you digging a hole for?
[19:54] ---
    They say it's going to take
    a little longer to fix the bathroom.
[19:57] ---
    In the meantime, it's the bathhouse--
[19:59] ---
    We're never going to the bathhouse again!
[20:01] ---
    No, Brother, I don't want an outdoor bath.
[20:24] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[20:28] ---
    she leans up against him
[20:32] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[20:36] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[20:40] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[20:47] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[20:55] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[20:58] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[21:03] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[21:07] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[21:10] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[21:14] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[21:18] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[21:21] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[21:26] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[21:32] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[21:38] ---
    I came up with a new plan, Kumagai.
[21:43] ---
    It's something you would normally be against,
[21:46] ---
    but I think it's the best thing to
    do to capitalize on this situation.
[21:53] ---
    Come on, let's go.
[21:57] ---
    "Butsumetsu Taian Municipal High School"
[22:01] ---
    Good morning.
[22:03] ---
    Yeah.
[22:04] ---
    Ha ha, what's with your getup?
[22:06] ---
    You're the last one who should
    be talking. What's with that mask?
[22:10] ---
    W-Well, you know...
[22:12] ---
    After what I did yesterday,
    how am I supposed to face Tsuwabuki?
[22:17] ---
    What a little baby.
    It's no big deal, is it? He just s...
[22:22] ---
    ...s-saw us n-naked, is all...
[22:26] ---
    Aah! Can't we turn back time?!
[22:31] ---
    Don't stand in front of the
    classroom like that. No one can get in.
[22:34] ---
    Ah! Tsuwabuki!
[22:36] ---
    For Pete's sake, you're so
    wound up for so early in the morning.
[22:44] ---
    Wah! He hates me!
    He's declaring that he doesn't want to see
[22:47] ---
    the face of a girl that gets
    out of hand when she's naked!
[22:51] ---
    No, he just doesn't want
    to face anyone, either.
[22:55] ---
    Aw, that's enough of this!
[22:57] ---
    Why should I care about what anyone thinks?
[23:01] ---
    Good morning, Ichiko.
[23:07] ---
    Huh... Who are you?!
[23:09] ---
    Oh, come on! It's me, it's me!
[23:15] ---
    The poverty god, Momiji.
[23:23] ---
    This week's
[23:23] ---
    "This week's"
[23:24] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:25] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:31] ---
    Huh? You say I didn't
    appear even once this week?
[23:34] ---
    Well of course not!
[23:36] ---
    There's no way I would go to
    the same bathhouse as commoners!
[23:40] ---
    There's no way!
[23:42] ---
    Kids...
[23:43] ---
    ...and women with no breasts...
[23:45] ---
    ...had no point being in this episode!
[23:49] ---
    Ow... that hurts so good...
SIGN    "What appeared from the bathhouse was a mirror Momiji" "From there springs the prologue to the final phase!!"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time: 'Sometime, Call Me By My Name'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: 'The disappearance
    of Binboda Momiji, part 1'"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

12 - Sometime, Call Me By My Name

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:20] ---
    Good morning, Ichiko.
[00:24] ---
    Huh? Who are you?
[00:26] ---
    Oh, come on! It's me, it's me!
[00:31] ---
    The poverty god, Momiji.
[00:43] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[00:46] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[00:49] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[00:54] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[00:58] ---
    Mou good-bye! bad day!
[01:00] ---
    Omou mama ni kowashite yuke
[01:06] ---
    Dareka no reeru no ue kara
[01:11] ---
    nozoita shiawase tte nan daro?
[01:15] ---
    Kore de ii no?
[01:17] ---
    Ai toka koi toka yume toka kikiakita shi
[01:23] ---
    Taikutsu ne doko e yukou?
[01:28] ---
    Are you ready?
[01:30] ---
    Dakara 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[01:33] ---
    Go way! Go way! Saa You! Make My Day!
[01:36] ---
    Sonna muzukashii koto ka?
[01:41] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[01:45] ---
    Mou good-bye! Bad day!
[01:47] ---
    Omou mama ni
[01:52] ---
    Nanimo kamo ga ureshikutte
[01:54] ---
    mukaikaze wa doko kara fuku no?
[01:57] ---
    Ganjigarame uzumaku sadame wo
[02:02] ---
    kowashite yuke
[02:09] ---
    "Round 12!"
    "Sometime, Call Me By My Name"
[02:14] ---
    Say, did you see that?
[02:16] ---
    That's... Binboda, right?
[02:18] ---
    It's not that there's something
    completely different about her,
[02:20] ---
    it's like she's a different
    person, isn't she?
[02:24] ---
    Here goes!
[02:31] ---
    I don't buy it.
[02:32] ---
    --What do I do? What do
    I do? What should I do?
[02:33] ---
    --What is up with her?
[02:36] ---
    Is this because I forcibly
    washed her in the last episode?
[02:39] ---
    --I know. I'll go on a training
    journey. I live only for karate.
[02:40] ---
    --Hmph, I'll bet she's pretending
    that she's cleaned up her act.
[02:43] ---
    --I just have to devote myself,
    body and soul, to karate.
[02:46] ---
    Kumagai, too?!
[02:48] ---
    Wow! How cute!
[02:50] ---
    --Kumagai is making all kinds of friends.
[02:50] ---
    --It's moving!
[02:52] ---
    How can that be?
[02:54] ---
    And how come he's out in
    the open like this at school?!
[02:59] ---
    "English"
[02:59] ---
    "I must apologize to you for
    saying such a terrible things."
[03:05] ---
    Miss Binboda is awesome.
[03:06] ---
    Her pronunciation is very clear.
[03:08] ---
    "I could do that well..."
[03:10] ---
    "Math"
[03:12] ---
    "Music"
[03:14] ---
    "Home Economics"
    "Silly me!" "We're making aprons, right?"
[03:22] ---
    "Modern Japanese"
[03:23] ---
    --I carried a lunch every day,
    while being made fun of
[03:26] ---
    --Who knew that Miss Binboda was that cute?
[03:26] ---
    --by even little brats such as yourselves.
[03:29] ---
    --As of today, I rule this school.
[03:29] ---
    --I think I'm going to start
    treating her differently.
[03:32] ---
    --You can call me Sekiya!
[03:32] ---
    --What? But what about Miss Sakura?
[03:34] ---
    --Say I'm Sekiya! Yeah! Sekiya...!
[03:35] ---
    --You two-timer!
[03:36] ---
    --Nobody ever said I was going to switch!
[03:37] ---
    --Ah, geez, would you quiet down, boys!
[03:40] ---
    Really, you've got no delicacy.
[03:41] ---
    The rest of you all keep quiet!
[03:43] ---
    --Hey, folks...
[03:43] ---
    --Don't you think it's
    rude to the other girls?
[03:45] ---
    --Stop making noise during class!
[03:45] ---
    --You guys are always
    squawking about your idols!
[03:48] ---
    Well, yeah, sure! That's because
    you guys don't spark any interest.
[03:52] ---
    Ranmaru looks far more
    butch-looking, and cool!
[03:55] ---
    Who, me?
[03:57] ---
    Enough already, you guys!
[04:01] ---
    Stop fighting!
[04:04] ---
    You guys! This is class time!
[04:07] ---
    We're all high-schoolers already,
[04:09] ---
    and we have to grow up to be
    adults who have meaningful lives.
[04:12] ---
    W-We...
[04:14] ---
    ...got Miss Binboda mad at us.
[04:16] ---
    You're a fine one to talk!
[04:18] ---
    Okay, Teacher, please continue the lesson.
[04:24] ---
    Up until now, no one has
    ever considered my feelings
[04:27] ---
    throughout this whole season!
[04:31] ---
    I'm overwhelmed!
[04:33] ---
    The teacher has abandoned his class?
[04:35] ---
    This isn't any class after all.
[04:37] ---
    --Geez, that's because everyone is so rowdy.
[04:39] ---
    --No, it's you!
[04:41] ---
    Also, I'm taking this opportunity
    to have a word with the boys.
[04:45] ---
    Huh? Us?
[04:46] ---
    It's nice that you're so friendly to Ichiko,
[04:49] ---
    but we can't have you
    being friendly to only her.
[04:52] ---
    As men, you should be kind
    to not just the people you like,
[04:55] ---
    but you have to have the capacity
[04:57] ---
    --to be kind to others, as well.
[04:57] ---
    --Whoa, she's brilliant!
[04:59] ---
    You are the poverty god, right?
[05:01] ---
    With your aptitudes as they are now,
[05:02] ---
    "Shock"
[05:03] ---
    you'll never be tops with
    the one that you like.
[05:06] ---
    --Way to go, Miss Binboda!
[05:06] ---
    --Tell them off more!
[05:08] ---
    And you have no room to talk, either, do you?
[05:11] ---
    Huh?
[05:11] ---
    Always treating Ranmaru like she's a boy!
[05:14] ---
    There's no way a girl is
    flattered by being called "butch."
[05:17] ---
    Huh?
[05:18] ---
    Well...
[05:19] ---
    It doesn't bother me.
[05:21] ---
    Take a look at this!
[05:24] ---
    See? This is the kind of girl she is!
[05:27] ---
    Huh? When did that happen?
[05:31] ---
    "Changing Ring"
[05:31] ---
    The poverty god item
    "Changing Ring" is an instrument
[05:34] ---
    that can facilitate cosplay in an instant.
[05:36] ---
    However, it's limited to clothing
    that has been worn at least once.
[05:39] ---
    --No way! Ranmaru?!
[05:40] ---
    --How cute!
[05:41] ---
    --No, these are, you know...
[05:44] ---
    See? Tsuwabuki, you think
    she looks cute, too, right?
[05:51] ---
    Yeah, sure, why not?
[05:54] ---
    I think that's cute.
[05:56] ---
    "Boom!!"
[06:01] ---
    I'm way past "floored" level!
[06:04] ---
    Ranmaru!
[06:05] ---
    What is life...?
[06:07] ---
    What is happiness...?
[06:11] ---
    Maybe I've gone and overdone it there.
[06:15] ---
    Poverty god...!
[06:17] ---
    Damn her!
[06:20] ---
    What exactly is it she's after?
[06:24] ---
    He said I was cute!
[06:25] ---
    Snap out of it, Ranmaru!
[06:27] ---
    I don't care if I die now!
[06:30] ---
    Knowing the poverty god,
    there's no doubt some ulterior motive.
[06:33] ---
    Is it some plan to draw the whole class
    in as her friend by being a goody-goody?
[06:37] ---
    Or something else?
[06:38] ---
    I'm home!
[06:40] ---
    Ah, Ranmaru, you're here, too!
[06:43] ---
    Listen, listen! This meat
    was half-off at a sales event.
[06:48] ---
    All right, since Ranmaru is here, too,
[06:49] ---
    I think I'll whip up
    something especially good!
[06:51] ---
    --How dare you?!
[06:51] ---
    --Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow...!
[06:53] ---
    --You've got some nerve,
    coming into my home like this!
[06:55] ---
    --And isn't that my uniform, too?!
[06:58] ---
    I don't know what you've got scheming,
[07:00] ---
    but would you drop the
    ridiculous act, already?!
[07:03] ---
    Act?
[07:04] ---
    Yeah!
[07:05] ---
    Ah... I'm sorry! This whole,
    time, I forgot to mention it, huh?
[07:09] ---
    Huh?
[07:10] ---
    When we poverty gods and
    our familiars, like Kumagai,
[07:13] ---
    "Squeak"
[07:14] ---
    are washed while in the human realm,
[07:17] ---
    we lose all of our poverty god power.
[07:21] ---
    And when that happens,
    our personalities change, you see?
[07:24] ---
    "Tee-hee"
[07:24] ---
    What did she say?!
[07:26] ---
    And this is the result.
[07:28] ---
    Let's try to get along from now on.
[07:32] ---
    How adorable!
[07:35] ---
    Her personality changes if she
    loses her poverty god powers?
[07:38] ---
    For real? This isn't one of her plans?
[07:43] ---
    That's it! I've seen through your strategy!
[07:46] ---
    "(note) Ichiko"
[07:47] ---
    I'll bet she's trying to convince
    me that her personality is better,
[07:50] ---
    to get me to drop my guard.
    She'll wait to catch me by surprise,
[07:54] ---
    not worried about her attacking me,
[07:55] ---
    and then take my happiness energy away, huh?
[07:57] ---
    Ichiko...
[07:59] ---
    "(note) Ichiko" "(note) Momiji"
[07:59] ---
    ...do you think I'm going to take
    your happiness energy away?
[08:02] ---
    Is that the kind of person I look like?
[08:03] ---
    "(note) Momiji"
[08:05] ---
    Yes, I do. Yes, you do.
[08:05] ---
    "(note) Ichiko"
[08:07] ---
    "(note) Ichiko" "(note) Momiji"
[08:07] ---
    "Smack"
[08:08] ---
    "(note) Misa" "(note) Momiji"
[08:08] ---
    You're planning to show your true colors
    right before I breathe in, right?
[08:10] ---
    "(note) Ichiko"
[08:13] ---
    Saying it's all an act?
[08:13] ---
    "(note) Ichiko"
[08:15] ---
    I can just see the look of
    victorious pride on your face.
[08:18] ---
    "(note) Suwano"
[08:19] ---
    Suwano...?
[08:19] ---
    "(note) Bobby" "(note) Ichiko"
[08:24] ---
    Ichiko!
[08:24] ---
    "(note) Ichiko" "(note) Momiji"
    "(note) Momo'o"
[08:25] ---
    "(note) Kumagai"
[08:27] ---
    "(note) Momo'o" "(note)
    Ranmaru" "(note) Bobby"
[08:29] ---
    "(note) Tsuwabuki"
[08:31] ---
    "(note) Ichiko" "(note) Momiji"
[08:31] ---
    Poverty god...
[08:33] ---
    "(note) Momiji"
[08:35] ---
    I knew... I wasn't... wrong...
[08:35] ---
    "(note) Ichiko"
[08:40] ---
    Ichiko! Hey! Ichiko!
[08:43] ---
    I saw through it!
    I knew it had to be the case!
[08:47] ---
    And now that I know...
[08:49] ---
    ...though I may be a bit
    reluctant to, I'm calling them in!
[08:54] ---
    Oh, my, you're here, too? Terrific!
[08:58] ---
    I accidentally made too much anyway!
[09:00] ---
    Let's all eat together!
[09:01] ---
    That's not Big Sister.
    That's not Big Sister Momiji!
[09:05] ---
    Momo, you didn't know?
[09:07] ---
    You look cuter this way, you know?
[09:10] ---
    So, what are we supposed to do?
[09:13] ---
    Mm-hmm, she says she
    lost her poverty god powers,
[09:16] ---
    and that her personality has changed, too,
[09:19] ---
    but I think it's just an act to
    steal my happiness energy from me.
[09:22] ---
    Which is why,
[09:23] ---
    I want you to use your perversion power
    to pull the poverty god's mask off of her!
[09:29] ---
    Hoho...
[09:30] ---
    That does sound like fun.
[09:32] ---
    I'll do anything to return
    Big Sister Momiji back to normal!
[09:36] ---
    All right!
[09:37] ---
    Well then, allow me to try
    some shock therapy first!
[09:41] ---
    Shock therapy? Ah...!
[09:44] ---
    Push-up!
[09:46] ---
    Why, you dirty monk!
[09:47] ---
    You're not trying to sink your poison fangs
[09:49] ---
    into just Big Sister Ichiko,
    but Big Sister Momiji, too!
[09:52] ---
    I'll allow it! Off you go, pervert warrior!
[09:55] ---
    Gue-ess who-o?!
[09:59] ---
    Let's see, that voice is... Bobby's!
[10:04] ---
    I'm right!
[10:07] ---
    I-I gave myself away, did I?
[10:10] ---
    Hey, what are you doing? Are you spooked?!
[10:12] ---
    Where is it I'm supposed to grope on there?
[10:12] ---
    "Nothing" "Skinny" "Skinny"
[10:13] ---
    "Small" "Skinny"
[10:15] ---
    Besides, her aura is incredibly pure.
[10:19] ---
    I can't lay a hand on a lady like her!
[10:20] ---
    His contrition is getting the better of him!
[10:22] ---
    Oh? Then what about me?
    If you can grope me without thinking twice,
[10:26] ---
    and I'm not pure, then what am I?!
[10:28] ---
    All right!
[10:29] ---
    Okay, I'll go next.
[10:31] ---
    The object is to get Momiji
    back to her old self, right?
[10:34] ---
    Ranmaru! Do you have some way to do that?
[10:36] ---
    Believe in her!
[10:37] ---
    If you keep praying, down deep in your heart,
    that you want Momiji to return to normal,
[10:41] ---
    someday, I'm sure it will come true!
[10:43] ---
    --Whether it takes ten
    years, or twenty years...
[10:43] ---
    --I was an idiot for expecting
    even a little bit out of you.
[10:46] ---
    "Loser's Circle"
[10:47] ---
    Hey, ironing board, come over here.
[10:49] ---
    Well, sure enough!
    As Big Sister's number-one servant, I--
[10:52] ---
    Momo'o!
[10:55] ---
    You've been put through
    such a hideous ordeal again!
[10:58] ---
    You poor thing. You're all bruised.
[11:01] ---
    When you've had enough,
    you have to say you've had enough.
[11:04] ---
    Whoa, um... Big Sister...?
[11:08] ---
    Go away, go away, owie!
    Go away, go away, owie!
[11:13] ---
    Your warmth is scaring me!
[11:16] ---
    The masochist is unable
    to bear the warmth of others.
[11:19] ---
    Don't go breaking the windows!
[11:24] ---
    There's plenty more to eat, everybody.
[11:27] ---
    Yummy!
[11:29] ---
    Where are your manners, you two?
[11:31] ---
    Thank you for this food!
[11:33] ---
    Aren't you two eating?
[11:34] ---
    No thanks, you traitor.
[11:37] ---
    But she went to all the trouble to make this.
[11:39] ---
    Can't we turn her back after we eat?
[11:41] ---
    On the other hand,
    wouldn't you prefer her this way?
[11:45] ---
    Well...
[11:48] ---
    "Shock"
[11:48] ---
    Not you, too, Tama!
[11:50] ---
    Hey, come on over here, you two.
[11:52] ---
    I made this just for you to eat, Ichiko.
[11:55] ---
    I don't want any! And besides,
    if you've lost your poverty god power,
[12:00] ---
    and you're not a poverty god anymore,
[12:02] ---
    you have no reason to hang
    around me anymore, do you?
[12:05] ---
    That's where you're wrong.
    Even without my powers,
[12:07] ---
    my mission must still go on.
[12:09] ---
    Your mission, huh?
[12:10] ---
    I don't absorb other people's
    happiness energy anymore!
[12:13] ---
    I've got this keystone here.
[12:15] ---
    You put it on, yourself? Good for you!
[12:18] ---
    But I still haven't taken
    all that energy you have.
[12:21] ---
    You have to share that happiness energy
    with those who are troubled and suffering.
[12:26] ---
    Why should I do that?
[12:27] ---
    Because there's nothing more wonderful.
[12:30] ---
    Listen to me!
[12:30] ---
    For now, and from now on,
[12:33] ---
    let's both hang in there together!
[12:35] ---
    Like I said, why you?!
[12:37] ---
    For now, let's just take a break, okay?
[12:40] ---
    Just try a little bit of it.
[12:42] ---
    Would you listen?!
[12:43] ---
    I already told you, I don't want any!
[12:54] ---
    Momiji!
[12:58] ---
    You made her cry.
[12:59] ---
    That went too far.
[13:01] ---
    Eh? But I...
[13:03] ---
    Ichiko!
[13:05] ---
    Go after her! Right now!
[13:07] ---
    "Gulp"
[13:12] ---
    Why?!
[13:19] ---
    "Push" "Quiver"
[13:27] ---
    Why should Ranmaru be angry with me?
[13:32] ---
    Why...?
[13:34] ---
    Why should I have to go
    chasing after the poverty god?
[13:40] ---
    P-Poverty god!
[13:46] ---
    Ichiko...
[13:48] ---
    U-Um... so...
[13:52] ---
    ...let's go back home.
[13:55] ---
    Are you sure?
[13:57] ---
    Don't get the wrong idea.
[13:58] ---
    I-I just came out here
    because Ranmaru asked me to.
[14:02] ---
    It's not as though I want to
    get chummy with you, or anything.
[14:07] ---
    Thanks.
[14:12] ---
    Tell me the truth--
    what exactly is the deal with you?
[14:17] ---
    You show up out of nowhere,
    screw up my day-to-day life,
[14:22] ---
    and now, suddenly, you want to be friends.
[14:25] ---
    Just how much are you
    planning to jerk me around?
[14:28] ---
    I'm sorry.
[14:29] ---
    Don't apologize! It just upsets me more!
[14:33] ---
    I just... want you to understand something.
[14:37] ---
    My regular, other self
    notwithstanding, right now,
[14:43] ---
    I don't want any unhappiness
    to come... upon you.
[14:47] ---
    What do you mean?!
[14:48] ---
    You just said you were going
    to take my happiness energy!
[14:51] ---
    That means bringing
    unhappiness upon me, doesn't it?!
[14:53] ---
    Forcibly stealing the energy isn't
    the only way to reduce your level.
[14:57] ---
    You're talking about that
    pattern of giving it to others, right?
[15:00] ---
    You're so persistent, you know that?
[15:02] ---
    I'm not planning on becoming a saint!
[15:05] ---
    I'll say it again--aside
    from Suwano and Ranmaru,
[15:07] ---
    there's no one out there
    that I really care about!
[15:10] ---
    But before, it was just Mr. Suwano.
[15:13] ---
    See? You gave him your happiness
    energy, but you lost nothing, right?
[15:18] ---
    Of course, I'm not saying to
    suddenly make a hundred friends.
[15:22] ---
    Little by little is fine. Little by little,
[15:25] ---
    the more people you start caring about,
[15:28] ---
    I'm sure there'll be happiness
    waiting out there in a different form.
[15:31] ---
    H-Hold on!
[15:33] ---
    After all, you get back as
    much happiness as you give out.
[15:40] ---
    Aw, geez! I get what you're trying to say!
[15:43] ---
    But right now, it doesn't really matter!
[15:46] ---
    Let's just hurry back home.
[15:48] ---
    I can't stand having Ranmaru angry at me.
[15:58] ---
    Welcome home.
[15:58] ---
    We're back.
[15:59] ---
    "Phew!"
[16:00] ---
    The two of you are soaking wet, huh?
[16:03] ---
    I got the bath ready.
[16:04] ---
    I thought it might be wrong to
    touch anything without asking, though.
[16:07] ---
    Mm-mm, it's okay. Thanks, Ranmaru.
[16:11] ---
    Wait, h...
[16:14] ---
    how do you figure this?!
[16:15] ---
    Huh? Well, I'd feel bad if Momiji caught
    cold while you were in there, Ichiko.
[16:20] ---
    Even so, why do I have to go with her?!
[16:22] ---
    Ichiko, let's wash each other's backs.
[16:24] ---
    No way!
[16:29] ---
    If you attack me out of
    the blue or anything, I'll kill you.
[16:32] ---
    I won't do that.
[16:34] ---
    Listen, Ichiko, picking up
    from where we left off...
[16:38] ---
    About people dear to me? There's more to it?
[16:42] ---
    Mm-hmm. Look,
[16:44] ---
    once you get a lot of people
    around you that you care about,
[16:49] ---
    and I happen to be next to you... that is...
[16:54] ---
    ...sometime... any old time...
[16:59] ---
    ...would you call me... by my name, too?
[17:05] ---
    Th...
[17:07] ---
    That is never going to happen!
[17:09] ---
    Ichiko is upset again!
[17:12] ---
    Hey!
[17:14] ---
    --Afterward, the poverty god
    never did show any signs
[17:16] ---
    --Want to sleep together?
[17:17] ---
    --that she was returning to normal.
[17:17] ---
    --Not a chance!
[17:20] ---
    I stopped getting attacked
    out of nowhere, as well.
[17:24] ---
    My daily life went back to the
    same kind of peaceful routine
[17:28] ---
    that it was before the
    poverty god was around.
[17:31] ---
    But there's something else.
    A peaceful routine is nice to have,
[17:36] ---
    but there's something missing, you might say.
[17:39] ---
    It's just a kind of sense that I have.
[17:46] ---
    You, too, Big Sister Ichiko?
[17:49] ---
    Don't tell me it's going
    to be like this forever,
[17:52] ---
    is it, Big Sister Momiji?
[18:00] ---
    You're kicking it too hard!
[18:01] ---
    Sorry, Ryu!
[18:09] ---
    Huh? Did it hit something?
[18:13] ---
    Hmm? What's wrong?
[18:15] ---
    Oh, a kitten is trying to
    jump into the garbage.
[18:20] ---
    I wonder if she found a nice snack.
[18:23] ---
    Huh?
[18:32] ---
    M-M-Monster!
[18:43] ---
    Aah! K-K-Kumagai!
[18:46] ---
    You're back to normal, huh? But how?!
[18:49] ---
    "If my whole body gets dirty,
    I change back to normal"
[18:50] ---
    "Bang"
[18:51] ---
    So that's it.
[18:53] ---
    Then...!
[18:54] ---
    "Yeah!!"
[18:56] ---
    "We can turn Momiji
    back into a poverty god!!!"
[18:57] ---
    All right!
[18:59] ---
    "Let's go!!!"
[19:03] ---
    Ichiko!
[19:04] ---
    Let's go home together.
[19:08] ---
    Is it okay if I come over to
    your place today, Ichiko?
[19:10] ---
    Well, maybe I'll bake a cake or something.
[19:13] ---
    Those three have been real pals lately, huh?
[19:16] ---
    It's heartwarming to look at them.
[19:26] ---
    Ichiko, hurry!
[19:30] ---
    "Fwaaaa..."
[19:33] ---
    All right, all done washing the dishes...
[19:36] ---
    Next up is the toilet and bathtub.
[19:44] ---
    What's the matter, Tama?
[19:46] ---
    Jumping in through the
    window, dun-dun-dun-dun!
[19:51] ---
    Please forgive my rudeness,
    Big Sister Momiji!
[19:54] ---
    Momo? Whoa, what are you doing?
[19:59] ---
    What is this?
[20:02] ---
    Kumagai?!
[20:03] ---
    Eh? He's back to normal?
[20:05] ---
    Momo! What in the world is going on?
[20:08] ---
    Forgive me for having to treat
    you so harshly, Big Sister Ichiko.
[20:11] ---
    I am now going to turn Big Sister
    Momiji back into a poverty god!
[20:15] ---
    "I won't let you interfere!!"
[20:16] ---
    Turn her back?
[20:18] ---
    But how?
[20:20] ---
    "If you make her body dirty,
    her powers come back!"
[20:26] ---
    Hey!
[20:28] ---
    Are you going to do that here?!
[20:30] ---
    Come on, you guys...
[20:31] ---
    "Resistance is futile"
[20:31] ---
    "Weight Stone" "I've incapacitated your
    Somin Shorai to keep you from interfering"
[20:32] ---
    Ah! My Somin Shorai!
[20:35] ---
    "Okay, do it, Momo'o.
    Your precious Big Sister is coming back!!"
[20:36] ---
    Yes, sir!
[20:38] ---
    Wait, Momo'o!
[20:40] ---
    Please. I won't run away, just let me down.
[20:43] ---
    Let me... say my last goodbyes to Ichiko.
[20:49] ---
    "Just for a moment..."
[20:52] ---
    Y-You...
[20:55] ---
    I doubt I will ever take
    on this mirror form again.
[21:00] ---
    The other Momiji doesn't
    think much of me, after all.
[21:05] ---
    I know it hasn't lasted long,
    but I still enjoyed it.
[21:10] ---
    I really... did want to be friends with you.
[21:24] ---
    Bye-bye, Ichiko. Be nice to
    the other Momiji for me, okay?
[21:31] ---
    P...
[21:35] ---
    Poverty god!
[21:58] ---
    Tennen yosooi uwamezukai shite
[22:02] ---
    ano ko wa aitsu ni motarekakaru
[22:06] ---
    Atashi no shisen wo shitte inagara
[22:10] ---
    shirankao shite misetsukeru
[22:14] ---
    Oshiete agetai wa ano ko no honshou
[22:22] ---
    Hontou wa itsudemo She says only backbiting!
[22:29] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:32] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi aisowarai
[22:37] ---
    Doushite minuite kurenai no
[22:40] ---
    Atashi mo hontou wa I love you I love you
[22:44] ---
    Ano ko no koto ki ni iranai
[22:48] ---
    Usotsuki neko kaburi happou bijin
[22:52] ---
    Atashi wa honki yo yuzurenai
[22:55] ---
    Kawarazu kyou datte I
    love you I love you baby!
[23:00] ---
    Ima ichi ni tsuite haiyo inopyon de
[23:05] ---
    koi boudou gouon!
[23:09] ---
    "Extraneous Round!"
[23:11] ---
    Boss, there's a monk who
    says he wants to work here.
[23:16] ---
    Hmm? Let's see...
[23:18] ---
    Does he have a license?
    If he can drive a car,
[23:21] ---
    it will make doing the
    drink deliveries easier.
[23:23] ---
    It must be hard for you always
    doing it on a bike, right, Tsuwabuki?
[23:27] ---
    Got a license?
[23:27] ---
    Yes, I have one.
[23:29] ---
    Here.
[23:29] ---
    "Bobby"
[23:31] ---
    Okay, if you wouldn't mind...
[23:33] ---
    Tsuwabuki, stop!
[23:34] ---
    Yes, we can.
[23:36] ---
    This week's
[23:36] ---
    "This week's"
[23:37] ---
    "Oh, Nadeshiko!"
[23:38] ---
    "Why, you Nadeshiko!"
[23:39] ---
    Th-The next episode is the finale?
[23:43] ---
    Sh-Shinobu! No more dawdling around!
[23:46] ---
    If they don't give me any appearances,
    then I'll have to steal them from them!
[23:50] ---
    I'll show them a thing or two next week!
[23:51] ---
    "Destiny brought Ichiko and Momiji together"
    "Their story is about to reach its finale"
[23:56] ---
    "Next time, the final episode:
    'You Already Know the Answer to That'"
[24:01] ---
    "Next time: the 'Good Luck Girl!' finale!!"
    "The disappearance of Binboda Momiji, part 2"
[24:01] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"

13 - You Already Have the Answer to That

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:36] ---
    Peering up innocently through her eyelashes,
[00:40] ---
    she leans up against him
[00:43] ---
    She knows I'm looking at her,
[00:47] ---
    but pretends she hasn't noticed
[00:51] ---
    I want to tell him what she's really like
[00:59] ---
    The truth is, all the time,
    she says only backbiting!
[01:07] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[01:10] ---
    the lying phony with the put-on smile
[01:14] ---
    Why can't he see through her?
[01:18] ---
    The truth is, I love you, I love you
[01:22] ---
    I don't like that girl,
[01:25] ---
    the lying phony who is everyone's friend
[01:30] ---
    I mean it, she can't have you
[01:33] ---
    Today, as always, I love
    you, I love you baby!
[01:38] ---
    I'm now in position to ready, set, go
[01:43] ---
    into a love riot rumble!
[01:47] ---
    "Round 13!"
    "You Already Have the Answer to That"
[01:53] ---
    Bye-bye, Ichiko. Be nice to
    the other Momiji for me, okay?
[02:05] ---
    J-Just a minute!
[02:11] ---
    "Smack"
[02:14] ---
    I-Ichiko?
[02:17] ---
    Don't get the wrong idea.
[02:20] ---
    I just think that you're
    a touch better as you are now
[02:24] ---
    than you are as the regular
    poverty god, that's all.
[02:29] ---
    It's not at all like there's any way
    I'd get chummy with the poverty god.
[02:34] ---
    So... I'm not letting you
    turn back into the poverty god!
[02:39] ---
    "Why, you!!"
[02:46] ---
    Hold on, Ichiko...
[02:49] ---
    Hey, Ichiko!
[02:50] ---
    What?!
[02:51] ---
    You can't use your Somin Shorai, right?
[02:54] ---
    Ah! Oh, crap!
[02:57] ---
    Hey there!
[02:58] ---
    R-Ranmaru?!
[03:02] ---
    What are you two doing?
[03:05] ---
    What are you doing, Ranmaru?!
[03:06] ---
    I was just thinking,
    "Ah, there's Ichiko's place over there,"
[03:10] ---
    when suddenly, you two
    jumped out the window.
[03:12] ---
    You startled me.
[03:14] ---
    I'm the one who's startled!
[03:16] ---
    Ranmaru, how far did you just jump?
[03:20] ---
    You won't get away, Big Sisters!
[03:21] ---
    "Take this!!!!"
[03:24] ---
    Garbage bombs?!
    What the hell are you doing?!
[03:27] ---
    Ranmaru!
[03:27] ---
    Let's get away from those two first!
[03:29] ---
    "Shock"
[03:29] ---
    Are you telling me to turn
    my back to the enemy?!
[03:32] ---
    Please!
[03:33] ---
    Ranmaru!
[03:35] ---
    Ah, what's the use?
    I'm not sure what's going on, exactly,
[03:39] ---
    but hold on tight to me, both of you!
[03:42] ---
    "It makes no difference where they go!
    Not with your nose, Momo'o!!"
[03:43] ---
    The thing is, Kumagai,
[03:45] ---
    thanks to all this raw garbage,
    my nose has gone numb.
[03:49] ---
    Just wait a little bit.
[03:51] ---
    I need a few moments until
    my nose starts working again.
[03:54] ---
    "Just hurry! Remember, we..."
[03:57] ---
    "We don't have any time left!!"
[03:59] ---
    If you get yourself dirty,
    you'll go back to the old Momiji?
[04:02] ---
    What's up with that?
[04:04] ---
    It's hard to believe, I know,
    but that's what they say.
[04:07] ---
    I'm not entirely convinced, though.
[04:09] ---
    But she has been like this
    ever since that bath.
[04:12] ---
    And if we do the opposite, she'll turn back?
[04:14] ---
    Still, this is inexcusable!
    I don't care what the reason is,
[04:18] ---
    throwing garbage at a woman
    is not something a man does!
[04:20] ---
    But what are we going to do now?
[04:23] ---
    We can't just keep
    running away like this, right?
[04:27] ---
    It's all right.
[04:29] ---
    As long as they don't
    catch us before tonight,
[04:31] ---
    when the sun goes down, I don't
    think they'll come after me anymore.
[04:37] ---
    Why's that?
[04:38] ---
    The dog's nose will stop
    working, or something?
[04:41] ---
    Well...
[04:47] ---
    You idiots!
[04:49] ---
    It's dangerous to dash out
    in front of cars, you know!
[04:53] ---
    Oh, of all people, it's you guys.
[04:57] ---
    What's up with the wheels, monk?
[04:59] ---
    I started a job last week,
    doing deliveries for a liquor store.
[05:03] ---
    Oh! This works out perfectly,
    Bobby! Give us a lift!
[05:06] ---
    I don't care where, but
    at least as far the next town over!
[05:08] ---
    I don't know the reason why,
[05:10] ---
    but as long as we can keep away
    from them until nightfall, we win, right?
[05:13] ---
    That's a great idea!
[05:15] ---
    Now, listen, I said I was working, didn't I?
[05:19] ---
    Where's the harm? Just for an hour or two.
[05:21] ---
    No, no, no!
[05:22] ---
    I don't have time to go along
    with the selfish requests of children!
[05:25] ---
    Gah! Okay, fine!
    If you'll help us get away,
[05:28] ---
    I'll let you touch my breasts
    or whatever as much as you like!
[05:32] ---
    This is ridiculous!
[05:34] ---
    Why didn't you say so first?!
[05:40] ---
    --One grope, two gropes, three gropes,
[05:41] ---
    --All right! Floor it, monk!
[05:42] ---
    --four gropes, five gropes, six gropes...
[05:44] ---
    Are you sure, Ichiko?
[05:46] ---
    About what?
[05:47] ---
    Ichiko, you would do that for me?
[05:50] ---
    You'd let someone who embodies
    lust to deprive you of your chastity?
[05:53] ---
    Nobody said anything about that!
[05:55] ---
    "Has no intention of letting him touch her"
[05:56] ---
    "Boobies!"
[05:56] ---
    Nipples in the center, and tweak!
[05:59] ---
    Besides, like I said earlier,
    letting you get away is for my sake.
[06:04] ---
    I fundamentally think only
    about my own happiness.
[06:09] ---
    I see. That's okay.
[06:13] ---
    I often talk about wanting you
    to use your happiness energy
[06:16] ---
    for the sake of others, Ichiko,
    but that's what's important.
[06:20] ---
    People who can think
    only of others' happiness
[06:23] ---
    will someday end up ruining themselves.
[06:27] ---
    Ichiko, you know how things
    ended up over that girl Kurumi,
[06:30] ---
    when you only wanted for her
    to be happy, once upon a time.
[06:34] ---
    H-How do you know about that?
[06:37] ---
    So you see, Ichiko...
[06:41] ---
    ...if you sincerely need me here,
[06:45] ---
    then I will always remain at your side.
[06:50] ---
    N-Now look...! Is that
    what you think I want--
[06:55] ---
    For as much as you two
    always fought each other,
[06:58] ---
    to think this day would come...!
[07:00] ---
    Huh? Hey, you three!
    Sorry to interrupt your happy moment,
[07:05] ---
    but something is coming.
[07:09] ---
    This is bad! Is that the
    garbage bomber from earlier?
[07:13] ---
    Bobby, dodge them!
[07:14] ---
    You betcha!
[07:19] ---
    What a public nuisance of an attack!
[07:24] ---
    "Hold still!!"
[07:24] ---
    Kumagai! Please launch me at them!
[07:30] ---
    Say your prayers!
[07:32] ---
    Look, you...!
[07:37] ---
    Huh? No way!
[07:40] ---
    "You okay!?"
[07:41] ---
    Let's try that one more time.
[07:44] ---
    "Your objective is weird..."
[07:47] ---
    I know!
[07:47] ---
    "Bop"
[07:48] ---
    What is it, Ranmaru?
[07:50] ---
    Now that I think about it, Momiji is
    the only one who has to get away,
[07:53] ---
    and there's no need for both
    of us to run away with her, right?
[07:56] ---
    I guess you're right.
[07:58] ---
    In that case...
[08:00] ---
    ...I'll take care of this!
[08:02] ---
    Ranmaru!
[08:04] ---
    The vicious act of a villain,
[08:07] ---
    sundering the weave of female bonds...
[08:10] ---
    For the love that binds friends together,
[08:12] ---
    I shoulder the destiny of foiling the enemy.
[08:15] ---
    Come on, pups! From here on,
    you'll have to face me!
[08:20] ---
    Lowly human...
[08:22] ---
    If you think I'll hold back
    just because you're a girl,
[08:24] ---
    you're greatly mistaken.
[08:26] ---
    I'm glad to hear that.
    I couldn't bear it if you used that excuse
[08:30] ---
    after I mopped the floor with you.
[08:32] ---
    Don't get so cocky!
[08:36] ---
    H-Hard...!
[08:48] ---
    Please, go on without me, Kumagai!
[08:50] ---
    I'll catch up as soon as
    I take care of this one!
[08:52] ---
    Don't you get cocky now!
[09:03] ---
    Ranmaru!
[09:09] ---
    How's that?!
[09:12] ---
    Hmph, not bad, are you?
[09:15] ---
    Wait, huh?! That hurt more than I expected!
[09:21] ---
    Hey, th--
[09:23] ---
    That's no fair!
[09:23] ---
    "Quiver quiver"
[09:24] ---
    There's no way I can pound
    an opponent that looks like that!
[09:27] ---
    Turn back into your original form!
[09:29] ---
    ...and I'll turn back.
[09:30] ---
    Huh?
[09:31] ---
    Slug me, and I'll turn back! Come on, hit me!
[09:34] ---
    Eww! What is this?! How repulsive!
[09:37] ---
    You can punch me or kick me!
[09:38] ---
    --Come on, hit me more, please!
[09:38] ---
    --Wah! Keep away!
[09:42] ---
    What? Your Somin Shorai has been
    locked down, and you can't use it?
[09:45] ---
    Mm-hmm. Do you have any other cool gear?
[09:49] ---
    Kumagai seems pretty
    determined this time around.
[09:52] ---
    What choice do I have?
    Here, a special deal, just for you.
[09:55] ---
    What is it?
[09:57] ---
    Something infused with
    my own supernatural powers.
[09:59] ---
    I call them "Prayer Beads, The Hyper!"
[10:02] ---
    Put them on your feet,
    and your leg strength increases!
[10:05] ---
    Put them over your eyes,
    and they boost your eyesight.
[10:07] ---
    Mm, irresistible...
[10:08] ---
    You lowlife!
[10:10] ---
    Mr. Bobby, as amazing as you truly are,
[10:12] ---
    why is it your mind only works this way?
[10:15] ---
    Whatever, I'll take them.
[10:18] ---
    There you are, Kumagai!
[10:22] ---
    Tama! Are you helping out?
[10:26] ---
    Bobby, you take care of her!
[10:28] ---
    As you command, for boobies' sake!
[10:31] ---
    Ichiko... don't do anything crazy.
[10:35] ---
    I told you...
[10:36] ---
    Don't make me keep saying it!
[10:38] ---
    I'm not doing this for you!
[10:41] ---
    Amazing! Just like Ranmaru!
[10:55] ---
    Tama!
[10:57] ---
    I-I won't let you go, Kumagai!
[11:00] ---
    "I don't have time to tangle with you."
[11:02] ---
    "Don't get in our way;
    you don't know anything."
[11:05] ---
    I-I don't know anything? What do you mean?
[11:09] ---
    "Then Momiji really didn't
    tell you anything, huh?"
[11:13] ---
    "If a poverty god is washed,
[11:16] ---
    and remains without their powers
    for seven days and seven nights..."
[11:20] ---
    "They become human!!!!"
[11:23] ---
    They become human?
[11:26] ---
    What does that mean?
[11:27] ---
    "Not actually human; a doll as
    close to human as you can get..."
[11:30] ---
    A doll?
[11:31] ---
    "In order for deities to
    communicate with humans"
[11:32] ---
    "In order for deities to
    communicate with humans,
[11:36] ---
    they take possession of dolls
    known as huma-forms.
[11:39] ---
    If they didn't, humans
    couldn't even see them,
[11:43] ---
    much less converse with them.
[11:45] ---
    Further, if they go longer
    than the time I mentioned
[11:47] ---
    without their godly powers returning,
[11:49] ---
    "Whoa, you're turning the pages too fast!"
[11:49] ---
    they will be unable to
    leave their huma-forms.
[11:53] ---
    If that happens, their
    personalities will never return.
[11:55] ---
    In other words, for the poverty
    god Momiji, it will mean..."
[11:59] ---
    "Death!!"
[12:13] ---
    Death?
[12:17] ---
    Th-Then, she...?
[12:17] ---
    "We'll be out of time in 30 minutes!!"
[12:19] ---
    Wait, Kumagai, where--
[12:21] ---
    "Wham" "Eeeee!"
[12:25] ---
    "You stay down..."
[12:26] ---
    W-Wait... Kumagai...
[12:30] ---
    W-Why didn't she say anything?
[12:34] ---
    I mean, that's something
    pretty darn important, isn't it?
[12:38] ---
    She won't be around anymore.
    What's up with that?
[12:43] ---
    Damn, that can't be...
[12:47] ---
    If she knew that would
    happen from the start...
[12:51] ---
    Eh? Wait a minute...
[12:55] ---
    If she knew from the start, then what...?
[12:57] ---
    Oh, you're still alive?
[13:00] ---
    Waah! Tsuwabu--
[13:02] ---
    "Bam"
[13:03] ---
    Yow-w-w... What are you doing?!
    Don't startle me like that!
[13:09] ---
    That was everything I was gonna say.
[13:11] ---
    What are you doing out here?
[13:13] ---
    I was... um...
[13:16] ---
    ...napping!
[13:17] ---
    You're pretty brazen, huh?
[13:20] ---
    "They were kissing. I'm sure of it!!"
    "The youngsters these days!!"
[13:20] ---
    What are you doing out here?
[13:22] ---
    I'm in the middle of work.
[13:25] ---
    I got your friend, Bobby, the monk,
[13:27] ---
    a job doing deliveries for the liquor store,
[13:31] ---
    but he hasn't come back since he left.
    Now I gotta clean up the mess.
[13:35] ---
    What's with the "Ah!"?
[13:37] ---
    Oh, er, nothing at all!
[13:38] ---
    Never mind that,
    I have someplace I have to be.
[13:42] ---
    Okay...
[13:42] ---
    See you later.
[13:44] ---
    I-I have to be someplace...?
    After I catch up, then what do I do?
[13:49] ---
    Stop Kumagai? But if I do that...
[13:54] ---
    L-Listen, Tsuwabuki!
[13:58] ---
    I need to ask you a question.
[14:01] ---
    Th-This is just "what-if," okay?
[14:04] ---
    Let's say there's someone
    who really gets on my nerves.
[14:07] ---
    I hate this person,
[14:10] ---
    and always thought it would
    be better with them gone.
[14:13] ---
    But come to find out that
    they really could be gone...
[14:17] ---
    ...and...
[14:19] ---
    ...all of a sudden, I don't
    know what would be best.
[14:22] ---
    When I think of them being gone,
[14:25] ---
    I kind of feel my chest getting
    all jumbled up, you might say.
[14:29] ---
    So, when that happens...
    When that happens, what should I do?
[14:35] ---
    This person is, what,
    moving away, or something?
[14:38] ---
    Something like that.
[14:40] ---
    And you'll never see them again?
[14:42] ---
    That's probably true.
[14:44] ---
    And depending on you,
    you wouldn't have to become separated?
[14:47] ---
    Like I said, this is all "what-if."
[14:52] ---
    You already have the answer to that, right?
[14:56] ---
    If you seriously thought
    it best that they were gone,
[14:58] ---
    then you wouldn't be so troubled, right?
[15:01] ---
    Troubled? Me?
[15:05] ---
    Looks that way to me.
[15:06] ---
    You, troubled? Is your brain
    even capable of that?!
[15:13] ---
    That can't be right!
[15:16] ---
    Somehow, I'm starting to
    get more and more annoyed!
[15:19] ---
    You're right! And when
    I think about it again,
[15:22] ---
    why am I going through all of this for her?!
[15:27] ---
    Looks like you're back in gear, huh?
    You've seemed pretty down lately.
[15:33] ---
    I'm not sure if you were down,
    or just being more calm, though.
[15:38] ---
    Mm-hmm. You're right. You may be right.
[15:45] ---
    Come to think of it, Tsuwabuki...
[15:47] ---
    You saw me naked the other day, huh?!
[15:50] ---
    Keep your voice down.
[15:51] ---
    "Oh, my!! Did you hear that!?"
    "How shameless!!"
[15:51] ---
    N-Now, come on...
[15:54] ---
    Still, you did answer my
    question, so we'll call it even.
[16:01] ---
    Good job, Tsuwabuki.
[16:03] ---
    Eh? It is?
[16:06] ---
    Well, I'll be going now.
[16:09] ---
    Yeah...
[16:12] ---
    Whoa, she's awesome.
[16:17] ---
    What do you know? He's right.
[16:20] ---
    Can you believe me?
    I'm just now realizing it.
[16:26] ---
    Geez, what was that just now?
[16:31] ---
    How am I supposed to get down from here?
[16:34] ---
    Ichiko...!
[16:37] ---
    "That's enough playing tag."
[16:37] ---
    Kumagai...
[16:40] ---
    "Why didn't you tell Sakura
    Ichiko the truth!?"
[16:42] ---
    "What the hell were you thinking!!?"
[16:46] ---
    She is...
[16:48] ---
    Ichiko is changing dramatically.
[16:51] ---
    She's a lot nicer to the people around her
    than she was when I first met her.
[16:58] ---
    Sure, if I take her happiness energy
    by force, it will resolve the problem,
[17:02] ---
    but by doing that, it will
    bring unhappiness to Ichiko.
[17:06] ---
    If Ichiko were to instead choose
    a path that brings happiness to others,
[17:10] ---
    then everyone will be happier.
[17:13] ---
    That's why I thought
    I could stay at Ichiko's side,
[17:16] ---
    and offer her help in using her
    happiness energy for others...
[17:19] ---
    "And you're saying you'd give up
    being a poverty god for that!!?"
[17:20] ---
    Well, there are any number
    of other poverty gods.
[17:24] ---
    But guiding her is not something
    that just anyone can do.
[17:29] ---
    "Shake shake"
    "No! No!! I won't have it!!!"
[17:31] ---
    Kumagai...
[17:35] ---
    It can't be...
[17:38] ---
    I guess this is the end.
[17:41] ---
    I'm sorry, Kumagai. I'm sorry...
[17:45] ---
    Ichiko...
[18:08] ---
    Ichiko...
[18:10] ---
    You're the one who says to others,
    "think about your own happiness,"
[18:15] ---
    but what about you?!
[18:17] ---
    Are you saying that wiping
    out your poverty god self
[18:20] ---
    and becoming human would
    bring you happiness?!
[18:23] ---
    B-But...
[18:24] ---
    But what?
[18:26] ---
    That's... That's what
    I thought would be best.
[18:32] ---
    Sure enough, original or mirror,
    you still do whatever you please!
[18:36] ---
    What is best for me is
    something I will decide.
[18:39] ---
    Besides, I finally realized something--
[18:44] ---
    Whenever you're off your game,
    it makes me downhearted.
[18:52] ---
    Bye-bye, Momiji.
[18:58] ---
    Ichiko... that's the first time...
[19:02] ---
    That's the first time
    you called me by name...
[19:08] ---
    Oh, a boat! Now she can get away!
[19:12] ---
    Oh, no... Big Sister Momiji...
[19:17] ---
    Hey, hold on... That boat is...
[19:22] ---
    "What's the meaning of this?"
[19:23] ---
    Hmm? You heard what I said.
[19:27] ---
    She really has turned my life upside-down.
[19:31] ---
    If she were to go away on me,
[19:32] ---
    and this whole game were to be called,
    I couldn't bear it, either.
[19:36] ---
    After I settle the score once and for all,
[19:39] ---
    I'm gonna drive her clean
    out of the human realm!
[19:52] ---
    Long time no see. How are you feeling?
[19:56] ---
    Yeah, I feel abysmal.
[19:59] ---
    Thinking back on it, what you did
    to me makes me want to curse you.
[20:04] ---
    Same here.
[20:06] ---
    To think that I was worried
    about you for even a moment,
[20:09] ---
    it puts the "super" in "super-annoying"!
[20:13] ---
    Good grief, you know what you are?
[20:18] ---
    Soft.
[20:21] ---
    To pass up two perfect
    chances to drive me away,
[20:24] ---
    first when you helped
    Tsuwabuki, and now this time...
[20:27] ---
    And did you say you were worried about me?
[20:31] ---
    When your brain isn't even capable of that?
[20:33] ---
    You're making my sides ache!
[20:34] ---
    Why, you...!
[20:35] ---
    You want me to wash you clean again,
    and keep you safe for good this time?!
[20:38] ---
    Ooh, scary! And here I thought
    we were on a first-name basis now!
[20:42] ---
    I was talking to the mirror you!
    She wanted me to call her that!
[20:45] ---
    Actually, everything up
    to now was just an act.
[20:48] ---
    --It was a plan to get you to
    remove the wall around your heart.
[20:50] ---
    --You liar!
[20:51] ---
    --Hooray! She's back! Big Sister Momiji!
[20:51] ---
    --Ichiko, in the end, you
    couldn't keep her safe, huh?
[20:54] ---
    --Please hit me even harder from now on!
[20:56] ---
    --But then...
[20:58] ---
    --Come on, come on, don't hold back!
[21:00] ---
    --Why? Why does she look so happy?
[21:01] ---
    --What was that, dummy?!
[21:04] ---
    Come to think of it, that's
    the first time I saw your flat chest.
[21:07] ---
    Shut your mouth!
[21:08] ---
    You can't even call it
    a flat chest; they're pity-titties.
[21:11] ---
    "Pity-titties"
[21:12] ---
    Would you shut up!
    Your freakish boobs are mammoth-ries!
[21:13] ---
    "Mammoth-ries"
[21:14] ---
    Whose boobs are you calling freaks?!
[21:16] ---
    And don't even go calling
    peoples' breasts monsters!
[21:18] ---
    They're like having a Slime and
    She-Slime stuck to your chest!
[21:20] ---
    You scramble-brained little girl!
[21:22] ---
    Oh, shut up! Shut your mouth!
[21:24] ---
    You...
[21:26] ---
    ...poverty god!
[21:30] ---
    Like the reflection of
    tomorrow's skies appearing faintly
[21:36] ---
    in my overflowing teardrops,
[21:41] ---
    annoyed, unwilling, acting tough--
[21:44] ---
    I bid farewell to my past self; I'm moving on
[21:51] ---
    Can you take me?
[21:54] ---
    Only a little more loading,
    standing by is just dreamin'
[21:59] ---
    With no brakes, I go 100 years ahead
[22:04] ---
    Willfully take it!
    If you want it, you're unstoppable
[22:10] ---
    Stronger and stronger
[22:16] ---
    And so it's 1way, 2way, 3way, 4way
[22:19] ---
    Go way! Go way! There, You! Make My Day!
[22:22] ---
    Is it really that difficult?
[22:27] ---
    1way, 2way, 3way, 4way No way! No way!
[22:31] ---
    Now good-bye! bad day!
[22:32] ---
    As you please
[22:37] ---
    You don't have to ask the answers
[22:40] ---
    about the future, expectations, or misgivings
[22:43] ---
    Just go one step at a time
    down the path you believe
[22:48] ---
    Happy about each and every thing,
[22:51] ---
    which way is the headwind blowing from?
[22:53] ---
    Take the swirling destiny hedging you in
[22:58] ---
    and bust it up
[23:02] ---
    Huh? Feels like I'm forgetting something.
[23:06] ---
    Arrested yesterday for violation
    of traffic laws, license forgery,
[23:06] ---
    "Butsumetsu City:
    Light Truck in Mysterious Accident"
[23:09] ---
    and destruction of property was
    a man identifying himself as Bobby...
[23:11] ---
    "Man identifying himself as
    Bobby arrested for traffic violations"
[23:13] ---
    I heard the voice of the breast god.
[23:15] ---
    It said that I could fondle
    breasts, so I had no choice.
[23:18] ---
    ...offered this and other cryptic statements.
[23:20] ---
    Police are holding him
    for psychiatric evaluation...
[23:23] ---
    "The End"
[23:26] ---
    Enemy after enemy after
    enemy appear in Butsumetsu City!
[23:29] ---
    There to take them on is me,
    Adenokoji Nadeshiko!
[23:33] ---
    Watch for the second season,
    Good Luck Girl! Darkness: Globes
[23:35] ---
    "Next time"
    "Good Luck Girl! Darkness: Globes"
[23:36] ---
    coming someday!
[23:36] ---
    "Is it true that creating false previews
    for sequel series jinxes their production?!"
[23:41] ---
    "Even so, their story is just getting
    started!" "Let's keep going big-time!!"
[23:46] ---
    "See you later!!"
[23:46] ---
    "Illustration and lettering
    by: Yoshiaki Sukeno"