# E28 - The Immortal Sugimoto Harakiri Show
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRWMGD0N6/the-immortal-sugimoto-harakiri-show)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] Asirpa**
What is that?
**[00:06] Asirpa**
I've never seen one before.
**[00:07] Kiroranke**
It's a musk deer.
**[00:09] Kiroranke**
The Ainu in Karafuto call it an opokay.
**[00:12] Kiroranke**
Those fangs mean it's a male.
**[00:20] Asirp**
Are they supposed to taste good?
**[00:22] Kiroranke**
No, the meat's not very good,
and their pelts aren't worth much.
**[00:27] Kiroranke**
But the males have something
called a musk gland
**[00:29] Kiroranke**
between their navel and genitals
that secretes a liquid...
**[00:33] Kiroranke**
Want to smell it?
**[00:37] Asirpa**
That's awful!
**[00:38] Asirpa**
It's like pee and Aca's armpits!
**[00:45] Kiroranke**
Once it's been dried out,
it becomes a medicine called musk.
**[00:49] Kiroranke**
And if you water it down,
it's supposed to attract the opposite sex.
**[00:54] Kiroranke**
Not that I've ever needed help
when it comes to getting women.
**[00:59] Shiraishi**
Wow! Your whole body is musky!
**[01:02] Kiro**
Since the animals don't keep
to a particular territory,
**[01:05] Kiro**
in Karafuto they call migratory
workers "musk deer."
**[01:09] Kiro**
Wilk and I wandered around a lot when we
were younger, so they called us that, too.
**[01:14] Asirp**
Really?
**[01:15] Kiro**
Come to think of it, he mentioned
his first hunt was a musk deer, too.
**[01:20] Kiro**
He cut his hohchiri off after it was over.
**[01:23] Asirp**
What's a hohchiri?
**[01:24] Kiro**
A little triangular ornament
made of glass beads.
**[01:28] Kiro**
Karafuto Ainu boys put them on their bangs.
**[01:31] Kiro**
And when when they make their first
kill on their own, they cut it off.
**[01:35] (Flashback) Wilk**
Asirpa, I used to wear this.
**[01:39] (Flashback) Wilk**
When you get a little older,
let's go hunting.
**[01:42] (Flashback) Wilk**
Until then, keep it tied to your bangs.
**[01:46] Asirpa**
Then that was a hohchiri...
**[01:48] Asirpa**
I didn't know it was meant for boys.
**[01:51] Asirpa**
I've remembered something about
Aca thanks to the musk deer.
**[01:56] Kiro**
I see.
**[01:58] Kiro**
That's a good thing.
***SIGN*** Golden Kamuy
***SIGN*** Toyohara
**[03:33] Nara**
*Toyohara, known today as Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk.*
**[03:37] Nara**
* At the time it was the political, economic,*
* and cultural center of Karafuto.*
**[03:41] Tanigaki**
I know you like that thing
because Enonoka gave it to you,
**[03:44] Tanigaki**
but you're not gonna be a real
man until you take it off.
**[03:46] Cikapasi**
I know!
**[03:49] Sugimoto**
Get back here, damn it!
***SIGN*** Episode Twenty-Eight
The Immortal Sugimoto Harakiri Show
**[03:51] Sugimoto**
Somebody grab that kid!
**[03:56] Tsukishima**
And the copy of Gansoku Maiharu's
tattoo is in that bag?
**[04:00] Sugimoto**
That's right!
***SIGN*** Yamada Circus
**[04:37] Yamada**
Chokichi!
**[04:43] Yamada**
We're still not set up yet!
Were the hell have you been?!
**[04:47] Yamada**
Where'd you get that bag, boy?
**[04:50] Yamada**
Wait, were you at it again?
**[04:55] Tsukishima**
That was a gun!
**[05:01] Koito**
You thought that you got away, didn't you?
**[05:03] Chokichi**
That's crazy... no one's ever been
able to catch up to me before.
**[05:08] Yamada**
I am so terribly sorry!
**[05:11] Yamada**
I can't believe he would steal from soldiers!
**[05:14] Yamada**
The boy's an orphan, and wasn't raised right.
**[05:17] Yamada**
I keep punishing him, but the bad
habits just don't seem to go away!
**[05:20] Sugimoto**
Look, it's fine. We don't want
to make a big deal out of it.
**[05:23] Yamada**
I can't allow him to keep being
a menace to other people!
**[05:27] Yamada**
Right here, right now, I'll have him
take responsibility for his actions!
**[05:35] Sugimoto**
What the hell are you doing?!
**[05:36] Sugimoto**
He's just a kid!
**[05:38] Tanigaki**
Keep pressure on the cut.
**[05:39] Tanigaki**
I'll get you to a doctor.
**[05:41] Tanigaki**
Wait... he's not even cut.
**[05:44] Sugimoto**
Was that fake blood?
**[05:46] Yamada**
Mine's real, though!
**[05:50] Yamada**
I apologize for the shock. I was trying
to lighten the mood a little.
**[05:54] Yamada**
It's called sleight of hand, you see.
The sword has a little trick added to it.
**[05:58] Yamada**
It's a tool that we used in our overseas tour,
for our big "harakiri" performance.
**[06:03] Tsukishima**
You guys are performers, then?
**[06:05] Yamada**
The lad here is Chokichi, our star acrobat.
**[06:09] Koito**
An acrobat? Well, that explains it.
**[06:12] Yamada**
Welcome to the Yamada Circus!
I'm the ringmaster, Yamada!
**[06:16] Yamada**
We've just returned to Japan after
our acclaimed tour of Russia!
**[06:21] Yamada**
And we'll be putting on
a show here in Karafuto.
**[06:24] Sugimoto**
This is it!
**[06:25] Tsukishima**
What is?
**[06:27] Sugimoto**
From what the people who spotted her said,
Asirpa can't be that far ahead of us!
**[06:33] Sugimoto**
Put me in your Karafuto show!
**[06:35] Sugimoto**
When the Immortal Sugimoto
does your harakiri show,
**[06:38] Sugimoto**
everyone in Toyohara will
be talking about it!
**[06:41] Yamda**
Now, hold on! This is a bit sudden!
**[06:44] Yamda**
Not to mention, I'd have to explain
how to do the trick to you...
**[06:49] Sugimoto**
Listen, I'm no entertainer.
**[06:52] Sugimoto**
I'll take your secret to the grave.
**[06:53] Sugimoto**
So it's no problem, right?
**[06:55] Yamada**
But...
**[06:57] Chokichi**
I think it'd be fine, as long
as the others join the show, too.
**[07:01] Chokichi**
We do have a few members
of the troupe missing.
**[07:03] Tsukishima**
What?
**[07:04] Chokishi**
Especially this gentlemen.
**[07:06] Chokishi**
I'm pretty sure you're a
perfect fit for our world.
**[07:11] Yamada**
Goodness gracious!
**[07:16] Yamada**
What athleticism!
**[07:20] Chokichi**
I was right about him.
**[07:23] Tanigaki**
Cikapasi, get back! It's dangerous!
**[07:27] Sugimoto**
Do not let go, Sergeant Tsukishima!
**[07:29] Sugimoto**
You had better not let go!
**[07:30] Cika**
You can do it, Tanigaki Nispa!
**[07:32] Cika**
Get a boner!
**[07:34] Tanigaki**
B-Boner... Boner, boner, boner—
**[07:37] Sugimoto**
Shut the hell up!
**[07:42] Yamada**
Remarkable! He's a natural-born acrobat!
**[07:45] Yamada**
What circus troupe were you a member of?!
**[07:49] Koito**
The 7th Division of the Imperial Army!
**[07:51] Sugimoto**
I said not to let go, damn it!
**[07:54] Yamada**
Sugimoto-san!
**[07:55] Yamada**
You should practice the harakiri
show instead of acrobatics!
**[07:59] Sugimoto**
Does it really need practice?
**[08:01] Yamada**
Of course it does!
**[08:02] Yamada**
And you two, since you have absolutely
no talent for acrobatics,
**[08:07] Yamada**
join the dancing girls
as part of the side show!
**[08:13] Fumie**
Come on already, Genjiro,
your hands are slacking again.
**[08:16] Fumie**
You're focusing too much on your footwork.
**[08:19] Tanigaki**
Sorry, ma'am.
**[08:20] Fumie**
Are those hands only good
for playing with your dick?
**[08:24] Tanigaki**
No, ma'am.
**[08:25] Fumie**
What're you staring at, boy?
**[08:27] Fumie**
You in love with me?
**[08:29] Tsukishima**
No.
**[08:29] Fumie**
You think you'll get special treatment
if you jump in bed with me?!
**[08:32] Tsukihsima**
No.
**[08:33] Fumie**
Because I don't go in for that sort of thing!
**[08:35] Tsukishima**
Okay.
**[08:39] Yamada**
Magnificent!
**[08:41] Yamada**
It's not just his talent,
he looks like a star, too!
**[08:45] Yamada**
Everyone in Karafuto's going
to be talking about him!
**[08:49] Sugimoto**
Hey, enough already!
**[08:50] Sugimoto**
If people are talking about you,
it'll defeat the whole point!
**[08:52] Koito**
Is this jealousy?
**[08:53] Koito**
How pitiful you are, Sugimoto Saichi!
**[08:56] Sugimoto**
No, you dumbass!
**[09:00] Tsukishima**
We're doing this so they'll
put Sugimoto in the show.
**[09:03] Tsukishima**
I know it's irritating to get called slow,
**[09:05] Tsukishima**
but you have to suck it up.
**[09:08] Tsukishima**
If this helps us find Asirpa,
then it'll all be worth it.
**[09:13] Tanigaki**
I'm just... extra baggage
for the dancing girls!
**[09:17] Tanigaki**
I just can't dance right!
**[09:20] Tanigaki**
I...
**[09:24] Yamada**
First, you cut a sheet of paper to prove
to the audience that the sword is real.
**[09:30] Cika**
It really did cut it! Scary!
**[09:33] Sugimoto**
Isn't using a real sword kind of dangerous?!
**[09:35] Yamada**
It's perfectly safe!
That's where the gimmick comes in.
**[09:38] Yamada**
Now we pray...
**[09:42] Sugimoto**
Do I really have to?
**[09:45] Yamada**
Next, we splash a bit of water,
for purification.
**[09:48] Sugimoto**
Is that really necessary?
It's just a trick, right?
**[09:51] Yamada**
It's absolutely crucial.
**[09:53] Yamada**
Now, I'll make the cut...
**[09:58] Cika**
That makes my balls shrivel!
**[10:00] Cika**
How come, Sugimoto Nispa?!
**[10:02] Sugimoto**
No clue.
**[10:04] Yamada**
And after splashing a bit
on the leg, you cut it, too.
**[10:08] Yamada**
At this point the crowd will be pale
as a sheet, and howling in terror.
**[10:13] Yamada**
And then!
**[10:15] Sugimoto**
Those are some huge nipples!
**[10:18] Yamada**
Finally...
**[10:22] Yamada**
Seppuku!
**[10:36] Yamada**
And that about covers it.
**[10:38] Yamada**
Then someone comes in to cover me with
a sheet and drag me behind the scenes,
**[10:41] Yamada**
and the harakiri show is complete.
**[10:46] Yamada**
To explain the trick, there's a groove
running down the tip of the blade,
**[10:49] Yamada**
with red dye stuffed in it.
**[10:52] Sugimoto**
I get it.
**[10:53] Sugimoto**
Add the water, and it starts
to look like blood.
**[10:55] Yamada**
Ready to practice a bit?
**[11:02] Girls**
He's amazing!
**[11:04] Girls**
How incredible!
**[11:07] Chokichi**
Try throwing a kiss toward the audience!
**[11:10] Koito**
How do you throw a kiss?
**[11:12] Chokichi**
Just like that!
**[11:14] Chokichi**
The foreign audiences loved it!
**[11:20] Sugimoto**
Enough already!
**[11:21] Sugimoto**
Second Lieutenant Koito! You don't
need to be in the Karafuto show!
**[11:25] Koito**
If you've got a problem, you just need
to outdo me with your performance!
**[11:28] Koito**
Otherwise, the idea of the name Sugimoto
becoming famous in this town is a joke!
**[11:35] Yamada**
The harakiri trick gets a lot
of attention, too, y'know.
**[11:39] Yamada**
The foreign audiences were so sure I was dead,
they wrote about it in the local news.
**[11:44] Sugimoto**
All right. I better practice.
**[11:47] Fumie**
Genjiro, you're falling behind again!
**[11:52] Fumie**
Is that ass of yours too heavy
for you to step lively?!
**[11:54] Tanigaki**
Sorry, ma'am.
**[11:58] Girls**
Don't cry, Genjiro-chan.
**[12:00] Girls**
You can do it, Genjiro-chan.
**[12:02] Beniko**
Come on, girls, you need to get back.
**[12:05] Beniko**
Before Fumie-sensei gets mad...
**[12:07] Girls**
Okay!
**[12:08] Girls**
See you later, Genjiro-chan!
**[12:15] Beniko**
Y'know, Genjiro-chan, the show
in this town is going to be my last.
**[12:20] Genjiro**
Beniko-senpai?
**[12:22] Genjiro**
Is that true?
**[12:24] Beniko**
The dancing girls are all orphans that
the Yamada Circus looks after.
**[12:29] Beniko**
But once we're old enough,
**[12:31] Beniko**
we get left behind when the circus
heads to its next destination.
**[12:38] Tanigaki**
Is that how it is?
**[12:41] Beniko**
I'm so happy I get to dance with
you in the end, Genjiro-chan.
**[12:45] Beniko**
Let's make sure the Karafuto
show is a success!
**[12:49] Tanigaki**
Yeah!
**[12:52] Tanigaki**
Yeah...
***SIGN*** The Immortal Sugimoto Harakiri Show
**[13:02] Yamada**
All right, folks, we've got
a full house tonight!
**[13:05] Yamada**
Let's look sharp out there!
**[13:08] Sugimoto**
Time to bring the curtain
up on the Karafuto show!
***SIGN*** Golden Kamuy
**[13:16] Yamada**
Your attention, please!
**[13:20] Yamada**
You will all be witness to the
**[13:22] Yamada**
performances of the Yamada Circus,
which have dazzled all of Russia!
**[13:29] Yamada**
And now it is our honor to bring
them here to you on this day!
**[13:37] Chokichi**
All right!
**[13:48] Enonoka**
Koito Nispa!
**[13:53] Sugimoto**
Just you wait, Lieutenant Koito!
**[14:06] Tanigaki**
*Beniko-senpai!*
**[14:10] Yamada**
And next up, Koito Otonoshin
will cross the high wire!
**[14:16] Koito**
That's...
**[14:18] Koito**
A picture of Lieutenant Tsurumi!
What's it doing here?!
**[14:29] Circus**
What the...
**[15:02] Yamada**
We have witnessed an acrobatic god!
**[15:07] Koito**
Damn you, Sugimoto!
**[15:09] Koito**
You rifled through my things,
**[15:11] Koito**
then tried to sabotage me with my
picture of Lieutenant Tsurumi!
**[15:15] Koito**
You cold-blooded bastard!
**[15:22] Fumie**
Genjiro!
**[15:28] Fumie**
You looked good.
***SIGN*** Yamada Circus Troupe
**[15:33] Yamada**
And now for our final performance,
the Yamada Circus's big closer!
**[15:43] Yamada**
The Immortal Sugimoto Harakiri show!
**[15:48] Sugimoto**
*This needs to reach Asirpa-san.*
**[15:50] Sugimoto**
*I'm still alive!*
**[15:53] Koito**
What's going on here?
**[15:54] Koito**
There are two of this picture?
**[15:57] Koito**
Wait, it's slightly different!
**[15:58] Koito**
Sugimoto wouldn't have a picture like this...
**[16:01] Tsukishima**
I was the one who did it.
**[16:03] Koito**
Tsukishima?!
**[16:05] Tsukishima**
Any way you think about it, you were
standing out more, Lieutenant Koito.
**[16:10] Tsukishima**
That defeats the whole
point of the performance.
**[16:13] Tsukishima**
I thought some sabotage
would solve the problem.
**[16:17] Koito**
This is bad.
**[16:19] Tsukishima**
What's wrong?
**[16:20] Koito**
I replaced that katana's blade
with my own, for payback.
**[16:26] Tsukishima**
Oh, so, so cold!
**[16:28] Yamada**
You don't have to sell them
on how cold the water is!
**[16:35] Sugimoto**
I'm gonna cut my arm!
**[16:37] Sugimoto**
Here goes!
**[16:46] Sugimoto**
I'm gonna cut it! Here I go!
**[16:53] Crowd**
Get on with it!
**[16:54] Enonoka**
Cut yourself!
**[16:56] Sugimoto**
Okay, here I go!
**[17:06] Crowd**
The blood...
**[17:06] Sugimoto**
Er... that actually hurt.
**[17:10] Sugimoto**
*I'm actually cut.*
**[17:19] Sugimoto**
*This is a real sword!*
**[17:21] Sugimoto**
*Now what? Should I cut the act short?*
**[17:23] Sugimoto**
*Swap the swords out?*
**[17:25] Sugimoto**
* No, it'd stand out too much!*
* The crowd would definitely lose interest!*
**[17:37] Koito**
He's going to keep going?!
**[17:39] Sugimoto**
I can't back down in front
of a huge crowd like this!
**[17:44] Cika**
That blood looks real!
**[17:46] Sugimoto**
'Cuz it is!
**[17:52] Sugimoto**
* Have to be careful... not to*
* hit anything important...*
**[17:56] Sugimoto**
*This is all...*
**[17:59] Sugimoto**
*To find Asirpa-san!*
**[18:10] Yamada**
Who are those Russians?
**[18:28] Crowd**
What a trick!
**[18:29] Crowd**
It looks so real!
**[18:35] Yamada**
Get out there and bow for the crowd!
And grab the bodies while they're distracted!
**[18:38] Girls+Tanigaki**
Okay!
**[18:54] Tsukishima**
Seems their actual target
was the ringmaster...
**[18:57] Tsukishima**
Since their orders were to go after the
man performing the harakiri show.
**[19:02] Koito**
But this was the one time that
just happened to be Sugimoto.
**[19:06] Sugimoto**
Who hired them?
**[19:07] Tsukishima**
Someone from the
Russian government, they said.
**[19:10] Sugimoto**
Why would the Russians
be after the ringmaster?
**[19:14] Tsukishima**
You're a spy, aren't you?
**[19:19] Yamada**
That's right. I was originally an
officer with the Imperial Army.
**[19:23] Yamada**
I was embedded in Russia for
years before the war broke out,
**[19:28] Yamada**
where I acted as an intelligence
operative behind the scenes.
**[19:31] Yamada**
The Russian government
probably caught onto my identity.
**[19:37] Fumie**
Bloody hell...
**[19:41] Fumie**
Well, you're one shitty spy.
**[19:49] Fumie**
Bury all three of them under the tent.
We'll be pulling out in the morning, too.
**[19:55] Fumie**
This place was just an empty field, anyway.
**[20:01] Beniko**
Take care of yourselves, okay?
**[20:03] Girls**
Beniko-senpai...
**[20:05] Beniko**
Genjiro-chan! Don't forget
about me or the girls, okay?
**[20:11] Tanigaki**
Yeah!
**[20:14] Tsukishima**
There's a write-up about
the show in the paper.
**[20:16] Sugimoto**
There is?!
**[20:17] Sugimoto**
What's it say about me?
**[20:19] Tsukishima**
It's got about...
**[20:20] Tsukishima**
Two sentences.
**[20:22] Sugimoto**
And it's a misprint!
***SIGN*** The Immoral Sugimoto
**[20:23] Sugimoto**
Damn it all!
**[20:25] Yamada**
Koito-kun!
**[20:27] Yamada**
We plan on traveling to America some day!
**[20:29] Yamada**
With your acrobatics, you could have
the world eating out of your hand!
**[20:32] Yamada**
Please, join the Yamada Circus!
**[20:35] Koito**
I can't do that.
**[20:36] Yamada**
Why?!
**[20:37] Koito**
Because Lieutenant Tsurumi wouldn't like it.
**[20:42] Tsukishima**
We're looking for some people.
**[20:45] Tsukishima**
One of them is a part of a partisan group
that's made up of a ethnic minority
**[20:49] Tsukishima**
from the Amur River area.
**[20:50] Tsukishima**
We believe he's headed north to
rendezvous with his comrades.
**[20:54] Tsukishima**
Do you know anything that might help?
**[20:56] Yamada**
Partisans?
**[20:58] Yamada**
One thing comes to mind.
**[21:02] ---**
About 530 kilometers north of Toyohara,
in a Russian port town,
**[21:07] ---**
there's the biggest prison
in Karafuto, Alexandrovskaya Prison.
**[21:13] ---**
I heard a large group of eastern minorities
**[21:18] ---**
was moved there for plotting a resistance.
**[21:22] Tsukishima**
That definitely sounds like
where Kiroranke would be headed.
**[21:27] Tsukishima**
The performance might not have helped,
**[21:30] Tsukishima**
but we got some important
intel from Ringmaster Yamada.
**[21:33] Sugimoto**
It did help.
**[21:35] Sugimoto**
It might only be two sentences,
and there's a misprint,
**[21:37] Sugimoto**
but Asirpa-san is sharp enough
to understand, if she reads it.
**[21:41] Sugimoto**
I just hope those beautiful blue
eyes are catching a glimpse
**[21:45] Sugimoto**
of the proof that I'm alive.
**[21:48] Asirpa**
Hey, Shiraishi, look at this.
**[21:51] Asirpa**
It's poop! And it's still steaming!
**[21:54] Asirpa**
That means there there must
be some big game in the area!
**[21:57] Shiraishi**
That's my poop from a few minutes ago.
**[22:00] Narrator**
* Asirpa was catching a glimpse*
* of Shiraishi's turd.*
***SIGN*** Next Time
The Border
***SIGN*** Next Time: "The Border."