# E9 - Fighting Should Be Done with Fists
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR2PW180R/fighting-should-be-done-with-fists)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Shinpachi**
My sister, Otae, who works part-time at a snack shop met a man with a furry butt.
**[00:07] Kondo**
If your boyfriend's rear end looked like an afro with a part down the middle, what would you do?
**[00:13] Otae**
I would love him, butt afro and all.
**[00:16] Kondo**
Otae!
**[00:17] Shinpachi**
In order to thwart this self-proclaimed Thief of Hearts,
**[00:21] Shinpachi**
Gin declares that he is engaged to my sister, and ends up being challenged to a duel.
**[00:25] Kondo**
Let's go!
**[00:27] Gintoki**
A fair...
**[00:27] Gintoki/Kondo**
...duel!
**[00:30] Kondo**
Hold on a second!
**[00:31] ---**
The blade! The t-t-tip!
**[00:38] Shinpachi**
Gin won with a cowardly trick you could hardly call "heroic".
***SIGN*** ["Find the Silver-haired Samurai!!" The Shinsengumi are searching all over Edo.]
***SIGN*** [Odd Jobs Gin receives a new request... who is this old man?]
**[02:24] Squad Member A**
Vice Chief!
**[02:26] Squad Member A**
Is it true that the Chief was jilted by some chick?
**[02:28] Squad Member B**
Not only that, he got tricked into a duel and lost?!
**[02:32] Squad Member A**
Getting shot down by the ladies is nothing new for him, but I can't believe he lost a fight!
**[02:37] Squad Member B**
Just who is this silver-haired samurai?!
**[02:40] Hijikata**
Pipe down, we're in a meeting.
**[02:42] Hijikata**
And there's no way Kondo would lose.
**[02:45] ---**
Who the hell's been spreading such baseless rumors?
**[02:48] Squad Member A**
Captain Okita...
**[02:50] Squad Member B**
...was announcing it over the loudspeaker.
**[02:53] Okita**
I heard it from you, Hijikata.
**[02:56] Hijikata**
What was I thinking, telling that loud mouth?
**[02:59] Squad Member A**
What?! You're the one who started the rumor?!
**[03:02] Squad Member C**
So why're you chewing us out? Give us a break!
**[03:04] Squad Member B**
What, so it's true then?!
**[03:12] Hijikata**
Shaaddap!!
**[03:17] Hijikata**
The next officer who talks about private matters during this meeting commits seppuku.
**[03:20] Hijikata**
And I'll assist.
**[03:22] ---**
Yamazaki, you first.
**[03:26] Yamazaki**
What? But I didn't say anything.
**[03:27] Hijikata**
Methinks thou dost protest too much.
**[03:34] Kondo**
Hey, guys! Hey, this is a lively meeting for a change.
**[03:39] Kondo**
Right! Okay, everyone...
**[03:40] ---**
let's go out there and do our civic duty, shall we?!
**[03:45] Kondo**
Huh? What's wrong?
***SIGN*** ["Fighting Should Be Done with Fists"]
**[03:56] Squad Member A**
Then it's all right?
**[03:58] Hijikata**
You'll go at it even if I try to stop them.
**[04:01] Squad Member C**
Don't worry, Chief. We'll find him without fail!
**[04:05] Squad Member B**
All right, let's go!
**[04:07] All**
Right!
**[04:15] Hijikata**
They don't get it.
**[04:18] Hijikata (M)**
Do they actually think they can beat someone who challenged Kondo?
**[04:25] Squad Member A**
Now get this!
**[04:26] ---**
It's just one opponent!
**[04:28] Squad Member B**
Find him!
**[04:29] Squad Member B**
For the honor of the Shinsengumi!
**[04:32] Squad Member C**
Our target is...a silver-haired samurai!
**[04:37] Gin**
Hey, hey, hey!
**[04:40] Gin**
You don't plan on beating me, do you?
**[04:43] ---**
Not only is that reckless, it borders on arrogance, no, insolence.
**[04:47] ---**
Enough to make me belch.
**[04:49] Kagura**
If you plan on fighting, put your life on the line.
**[04:52] ---**
I'll make it so you'll never belch again.
**[04:57] Shinpachi**
We're not so lame that we'll succumb to just your fighting spirit.
**[05:00] ---**
This fight isn't about belching, it's about brains.
**[05:05] Old Man**
Never mind belching. Just get on with it!
**[05:14] Shinpachi**
Good evening, everyone. I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
**[05:17] ---**
Everyday, the trees turn greener.
**[05:20] ---**
By the way, the reason why we're scowling at each other like this is...
**[05:25] ---**
Well, it's complicated.
**[05:28] Kagura (M)**
Yo! I'm Goku!
**[05:30] ---**
Hey, everyone! The great space war has begun!
**[05:34] ---**
I don't know about the difficult stuff, but I'm really shocked.
**[05:40] Gin**
Hey, guys.
**[05:41] Gin**
I can hear you guys thinking out loud!
**[05:44] Gin**
That's pretty bad acting, numbskulls.
**[05:46] Shinpachi (M)**
Leave us alone. This is strategy!
**[05:50] Kagura (M)**
How rude! Calling it bad acting.
**[05:53] Gin (M)**
They're saying "this anime is hard for kids to understand".
**[05:57] ---**
Better shape up, or it won't just be moving time slots! We'll be cancelled!"
**[06:00] ---**
So shouted Gintoki in his heart.
**[06:03] Shinpachi (M)**
Shouted? Gin, don't copy me!
**[06:07] Gin (M)**
Dumbass! As if we can lose something like this.
**[06:11] Kagura (M)**
Right. This is one match we cannot lose.
**[06:16] Old Man**
How'd it turn out like this?
**[06:20] ---**
Anyway, take a look at this!
***SIGN*** [The Story So Far]
**[06:22] Old Man (N)**
The Odd Jobs gang - Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura - went about their lives as usual.
**[06:29] ---**
But a client shattered the peace.
**[06:35] Old Man (N)**
He was a carpenter and advisor of the Kabukicho Town Council,
**[06:40] Old Man (N)**
Ishida Pierre Genpachisayuemon.
**[06:42] Age**
Age: 63. Astrological sign: Virgo.
***SIGN*** [Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 275%. - Sorry.]
**[06:44] ---**
His request was for a carpenter's assistant.
**[06:47] ---**
However, the request had a frightening catch to it.
**[06:51] Old Man (N)**
He only wants one person.
**[06:52] ---**
Just one of them would work!
***SIGN*** [Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 384%.]
**[06:57] Old Man (N)**
They reacted instantly.
**[06:59] Old Man (N)**
A high-level negotiation going back and forth, voices and hands going non-stop.
**[07:03] ---**
Proposals put forth only to be rejected.
***SIGN*** [Due to Mr. Ishida's ego, this image has been touched up 40 thousand trillion and 12%.]
**[07:07] Old Man (N)**
When the dust finally settled, they had decided on a method to choose the one.
***SIGN*** [Give us a break, you old fart!]
**[07:14] Old Man (N)**
The method was
**[07:15] ---**
that greatest of challenges...
**[07:17] Old Man (N)**
Rock, paper, scissors!
**[07:20] Gin**
Ready, one match decides! No whining, right?!
**[07:24] Shinpachi (M)**
If I lose, I get one day of manual labor!
**[07:26] ---**
I will not lose this match!
**[07:28] Gin (M)**
No matter how I do it...
**[07:30] Kagura**
I must win, uh-huh!
**[07:32] Gin**
Let's do it? Ready!
**[07:33] Kagura**
Howacha!
**[07:34] Gin**
Set!
**[07:36] Shinpachi**
What're you doing, Kagura?!
**[07:38] ---**
This is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
**[07:39] ---**
And what's up with showing your hand early?!
**[07:42] Kagura**
The early hand is victorious!
**[07:43] Shinpachi**
I told you, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
**[07:46] Gin**
All right! If that's how you wanna play, so be it!
**[07:52] Shinpachi**
Hey! I said, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
**[07:56] Gin**
Ready, one match decides! No whining, right?
**[08:00] Gin**
Ready? First is...
**[08:02] Gin**
Rock.
**[08:04] Gin**
Hey, what's with you two?
**[08:07] Gin**
Didn't I just say, rock was first?
**[08:10] Kagura**
In my family, this is rock.
**[08:12] Gin**
Oh man! What? Excuses?
**[08:15] ---**
I don't know what you're on about.
**[08:17] Shinpachi**
Well, you've got paper too.
**[08:23] Gin**
Again.
**[08:24] Gin**
Here we go!
**[08:27] Shinpachi**
Do you even know what Rock, Paper, Scissors is?!
**[08:30] ---**
What is that?
**[08:31] Kagura**
Can't you tell? This is a crab.
**[08:34] Gin**
It's better than a stone.
**[08:36] Gin**
But you still can't beat mine.
**[08:39] Shinpachi**
Whose family is that supposed to be?
**[08:41] Gin**
The kids are still eating.
**[08:43] Shinpachi**
I said this is Rock, Paper, Scissors!
**[08:46] Kagura**
You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard.
**[08:49] Shinpachi**
Huh?! Why me? You both broke the rules, so you lose!
**[08:53] Gin**
Don't give me that! I'm just using my head! Quit acting like a baby!
**[08:57] Shinpachi**
There are rules in the world. Don't you know that?
**[09:00] Kagura**
Rules are made to be broken.
**[09:02] Shinpachi**
Quit kidding around!
**[09:05] Old Man**
Okay, Gin wins.
**[09:08] Gin**
Victory!
**[09:09] Shinpachi**
Whaaaaat?!
**[09:12] Kagura**
Too bad, loser. Work hard.
**[09:16] Gin**
That's right, Shinpachi. The customer is always right.
**[09:20] ---**
Listen to whatever he says.
**[09:22] Gin**
Hey, what's going on?!
**[09:23] Old Man**
Don't you know?
**[09:25] Old Man**
To the winner goes the spoils of this job. Be grateful.
**[09:29] Gin**
No, it's not that...
**[09:34] Shinpachi/Kagura**
Have fun!
***SIGN*** [To the Silver-haired Samurai:
***SIGN*** Show your face at Shinsengumi Headquarters, you bastard!
***SIGN*** We're the police! Signed, Shinsengumi]
**[09:50] Squad Member D**
Where are you, silver-haired samurai?!
**[09:53] Squad Member E**
Come on out!
**[09:55] Old Man**
Over here!
***SIGN*** [Shuei Construction]
**[09:57] Gin**
Say, I really can't get into this.
**[10:02] Old Man**
Quit bitching! Haul these supplies to the site.
**[10:06] Squad Member B**
There's the silver-haired samurai!
**[10:09] Squad Member B**
There you are, silver-haired samurai!
**[10:15] Squad Memberb**
Th-This is...
**[10:17] Squad Member A**
A samurai eating white rice?!
**[10:19] Samurai A**
Seconds!
**[10:21] Squad Members**
There's no rice for samurai like you!
**[10:24] Squad Member C**
Found him! It's the silver-haired samurai!
**[10:27] Squad Memberc**
Gotcha! Silver-haired samurai!
**[10:33] Squad Member F**
H-He's...
**[10:34] Squad Member C**
...a samurai getting a haircut?!
**[10:36] Barber**
How would you like it cut?
**[10:39] Samurai B**
Just trim it.
**[10:40] Squad Members**
Just shave it all off!
**[10:43] Old Man**
Just get with it. There's a mountain of work to be done.
**[10:47] Gin**
You don't get it, do you?
**[10:49] Gin**
When you employ people, you have to inspire them, make them soar. You know?
**[10:54] Old Man**
Fine, soar as high as you like and make sure you don't fall. Here.
**[11:01] Hijikata**
What?!
**[11:03] Hijikata**
They've put signs up all over Edo and now the whole town knows about Kondo's loss?
**[11:09] Okita**
Yeah, they're going hog wild posting it up.
**[11:13] ---**
And for all that, they haven't gotten any results.
**[11:16] Hijikata**
Those morons!
**[11:19] Hijikata**
What's the sense in telling the whole world your chief lost a duel?
**[11:24] Okita**
What do you want to do?
**[11:25] ---**
If we don't do anything, the whole town will be inconvenienced and the reputation of the Shinsengumi will be in the mud.
**[11:33] Hijikata**
Let's go, Sogo.
**[11:35] Okita**
Go where?
**[11:38] Okita**
What? Kill him?
**[11:40] Hijikata**
Yeah, I'm gonna kill 'em.
**[11:42] Okita**
You talking about the silver-haired samurai?
**[11:44] Hijikata**
Yeah, I'll finish him off before this mess gets any bigger.
**[11:48] Okita**
Every other word you utter is "kill."
**[11:52] Okita**
The lessons of history teach us that nothing good comes from assassination.
**[11:55] Hijikata**
This isn't assassination.
**[11:57] Hijikata**
I'll just walk right up to him and cut him down.
**[11:59] Okita**
No need to go that far.
**[12:01] Okita**
Just haul in any old white-haired dude and the troops'll forget all about it!
**[12:07] Okita**
How about this one?
**[12:09] Okita**
Here, hold this wooden sword, wouldja?
**[12:11] Hijikata**
Pops, swing this wooden sword a few times and beat this guy's head in.
**[12:15] Okita**
At first glance he's not very imposing, but take off his glases...
**[12:20] ---**
and..."wow" Hey look! It's Musashi!
**[12:21] Hijikata**
What's the point of drawing him looking cool?!
**[12:28] Okita**
You really want to kill that dude?
**[12:30] ---**
All we know is that he's got white hair.
**[12:33] Hijikata**
He can't be just anyone if he beat Kondo.
**[12:37] ---**
I'll know who he is when I see him.
**[12:42] Hijikata**
Yeah, it's me.
**[12:44] ---**
Really? Got it.
**[12:47] Okita**
Found him?
**[12:49] Hijikata**
Yamazaki found someone who seems to be him.
**[12:52] Hijikata**
Let's go.
**[12:55] ---**
This is the place.
**[13:01] Hijikata**
Shinsengumi! We have government business!
**[13:05] Samurai C**
What is your business?
**[13:07] Hijikata**
This is...
**[13:09] Yamazaki**
...a really...poor samurai?!
**[13:12] Hijikata**
The only part that's right is "samurai"!
**[13:15] ---**
Commit seppuku this minute!
**[13:20] Okita**
A silver-haired samurai.
**[13:23] ---**
I wonder where he could be?
**[13:27] Old Man**
You dirtbag! Put your soul into that hammer!
**[13:31] Gin**
If this was your head, I'd put my soul into the hammer, baldy.
**[13:35] Old Man**
Shut up, you jerk!
**[13:37] Old Man**
Don't talk like you know it all, damned wavy-silver-haired mophead!
**[13:42] Okita**
Can't find him. I think you don't have enough clues yet.
**[13:48] Okita**
Why don't we go back? "Ladies 4" is gonna start.
**[13:52] Hijikata**
When'd they switch? There's been a drama rerun at four.
**[13:57] Okita**
Oh, really?
**[13:59] Okita**
But hey, that drama's supposed to have a happy ending.
**[14:02] Hijikata**
You too, huh?
**[14:06] Hijikata**
You laugh on the outside, but you're crying on the inside, huh?
**[14:10] Okita**
I wonder.
**[14:13] Hijikata**
You haven't forgotten, have you?
**[14:15] ---**
Back in the old samurai country, the one who pulled us out of that humdrum life
**[14:18] Hijikata**
was none other than Kondo.
**[14:22] Hijikata**
We, the Shinsengumi, can walk around town with our heads held high
**[14:27] Hijikata**
because of that man.
**[14:30] Hijikata**
We decided to follow him.
**[14:34] Hijikata**
Isn't that right, Sogo?
**[14:36] Okita**
So, Sadomaru III. The target is the butt.
**[14:40] Hijikata**
Hey, are you listening?!
**[14:42] Hijikata**
Dammit!
**[14:44] Gin**
Hey, watch it, bro.
**[14:49] Hijikata**
H-Hey, that's dangerous!
**[14:52] Gin**
I said, watch it.
**[14:53] Hijikata**
Say it with more emotion then! Got it?
**[14:57] Gin**
Oh, shut your hole.
**[14:58] Gin**
Like I'm supposed to listen to a stranger coach me on dramatic delivery!
**[15:04] Hijikata**
It's... you! The guy from that time at Ikedaya...
**[15:20] Hijikata**
It's... you! The guy from that time at Ikedaya...
**[15:24] Hijikata**
Oh yeah, I forgot...
**[15:26] ---**
you've got silver hair.
**[15:28] Gin**
Umm, who are you?
**[15:31] Gin**
Is that you, Ogushi? Man, you're looking so important.
**[15:36] ---**
What's up? Your pet gold fish ever get any bigger?
**[15:40] Old Man**
Hey, Gin! Hurry up, will ya!
**[15:43] Gin**
Be right up! 'scuse me, Ogushi. Gotta get back to work.
**[15:50] Okita**
He took off!
**[15:52] ---**
Whatcha gonna do about it, Ogushi?
**[15:53] Hijikata**
Who you callin' Ogushi?
**[15:55] Hijikata**
That jerk! He forgets me after just three or four episodes!
**[15:59] Okita**
Well, I think most would.
**[16:02] Hijikata**
Sogo, lend me your sword.
**[16:06] Gin**
Dammit...
**[16:08] Gin**
If I have to work all day with this baldy, I'll go bald!
**[16:12] Old Man**
Sheesh! If help weren't so hard to find, I'd never have gone to your place!
**[16:18] ---**
Don't screw that up, y'hear?
**[16:20] Gin**
Same to you, baldy.
**[16:23] Hijikata**
First bomb disposal, now roof repair?
**[16:27] Hijikata**
You've got no self-respect at all, do you?
**[16:29] ---**
What's your story anyway?
**[16:32] Gin**
Bomb?
**[16:41] Gin**
You were there too, huh?
**[16:44] Hijikata**
Finally remembered, eh?
**[16:46] Hijikata**
There's no one even in the Shinsengumi who's that crazy.
**[16:53] Hijikata**
I thought Kondo was invincible
**[16:57] ---**
but if it's you, it's a little more believable.
**[17:00] Gin**
Kondo?
**[17:03] Hijikata**
You two fought over a woman, remember?
**[17:06] Hijikata**
Is she worth it?
**[17:08] ---**
Introduce me to her, will ya?
**[17:14] Kondo**
Hey...the tip...!
**[17:19] Gin**
You're friends with gorilla-butt?
**[17:22] ---**
What are you coming after me for?
**[17:34] Gin**
What's the big idea?!
**[17:37] Hijikata**
He may be a gorilla, but to us, he's our beloved general!
**[17:43] Hijikata**
He built the Shinsengumi up from nothing with just one sword.
**[17:46] Hijikata**
He's my brother-in-arms!
**[17:49] Hijikata**
I won't let anyone shame our unit...
**[17:53] ---**
and who so ever crosses that line, my blade...
**[17:55] Hijikata**
...shall taste his blood!
**[18:02] Kagura**
It's time for Ladies 4!
**[18:15] Gin**
Quit...
**[18:16] Gin**
...swinging that sword around!
**[18:19] Hijikata**
Nuohh!
**[18:27] Old Man**
Huh? What's going on?
**[18:30] Old Man**
Hey, Gin! You don't get paid if you're just playing around!
**[18:34] Gin**
Shut up, baldy! Call the police! The police!
**[18:38] Hijikata**
I am the police.
**[18:40] Gin**
Huh? Oh yeah. Man, this world is coming to an end.
**[18:44] Hijikata**
Heh, you're so right.
**[18:48] Hijikata (M)**
I can't figure this guy out.
**[18:52] Hijikata (M)**
I heard he used a dirty trick against Kondo,
**[18:55] ---**
but he's not doing anything like that now.
**[18:57] Hijikata (M)**
Far from it... he's not even defending himself with the sword I gave him.
**[19:03] Hijikata (M)**
Could it be that, even though his life's in danger... he's trying to be chivalrous?
**[19:09] Hijikata**
Damn!
**[19:10] Hijikata**
Draw that sword!
**[19:12] Hijikata**
Killing a guy who won't fight back'll leave a bad taste in my mouth!
**[19:16] Hijikata**
Hurry up! Draw!
**[19:22] Hijikata**
All right, he's finally getting down to business.
**[19:25] Hijikata**
Your life or mine!
**[19:29] Hijikata**
Got him!
**[19:33] Hijikata**
What?!
**[19:37] Hijikata (M)**
Parried! He got me.
**[19:58] Xgin**
Okay, fight's over.
**[20:03] Gin**
Hey, baldy! I'm gonna take some sick leave!
**[20:06] Hijikata**
Hold it!
**[20:08] Hijikata**
You took mercy on me?
**[20:12] Gin**
Mercy?
**[20:14] Gin**
If I had any of that, I'd put it on my rice and eat it.
**[20:19] Gin**
You fight when you have something to protect.
**[20:24] ---**
Like you tried to protect the Shinsengumi.
**[20:29] Hijikata**
Protect?
**[20:31] Hijikata**
Then what did you protect?
**[20:37] Gin**
My own rules.
**[20:40] Gin**
See ya.
**[20:49] Okita**
That guy's a trip.
**[20:51] Okita**
Wouldn't mind crossing swords with him myself.
**[20:54] Kondo**
Forget it. Even you would have a tough time of it, Sogo.
**[20:59] Kondo**
He may point his blade at you,
**[21:03] ---**
but he's fighting on some other plane.
**[21:08] Kondo**
It's beyond winning and losing for him, beyond right and wrong.
**[21:14] Hijikata**
Sorry, Kondo. He beat me, too.
***SIGN*** [Up next: Please Teach Us, Ginpachi Sensei]
**[21:30] Gin**
Ginpachi Sensei after these messages!
***SIGN*** [Preview]
***SIGN*** What is this?!
**[23:07] Gin**
Kagura, if you're gonna pick up strays, pick up something we recognize the name of!
**[23:11] Gin**
Huh? You're gonna keep it? No way!
**[23:14] Gin**
Mom'll never allow it!
**[23:16] Gin**
The next episode:
**[23:17] Gin**
"Eat Something Sour When You're Tired"
***SIGN*** [Prince Baka... Hata from Midland Star is back again.]
***SIGN*** [And this guy with dilated pupils, who was ordered to find a unique pet?]
***SIGN*** [Please Teach Us, Ginpachi Sensei]
**[23:30] All**
Please teach us, Ginpachi Sensei!
**[23:34] Ginpachi**
Here's a question from "Go back to Ehime, Onishi."
**[23:38] ---**
"There's something I've been wondering about..."
**[23:40] ---**
"What," you ask?
**[23:42] ---**
Well, Shinpachi said...
**[23:44] ---**
"The anti-foreigner faction tried to drive out the Amanto when they invaded twenty years ago."
**[23:52] Ginpachi**
"In other words, Gin and Katsura must be way past their thirties now, right?"
**[24:00] ---**
Fine. Now listen up, because this will be on the test.
**[24:05] Ginpachi**
The Joi War didn't end in just one year or so.
**[24:10] Ginpachi**
When the Amanto came to Earth twenty years ago, Gin was still a little kid with no hair on his privates.
**[24:16] Ginpachi**
The government got scared and were forced to open the country to the Amanto.
**[24:19] Ginpachi**
And throughout the land, samurai fought back but got their asses kicked.
**[24:24] Ginpachi**
At that point, Gin's pubic hair began to grow.
**[24:28] Ginpachi**
Eventually, the Amanto infiltrated even the government and had their way.
**[24:33] Ginpachi**
And it is during this time that Gin began his romp.
**[24:36] ---**
No, I don't mean like that.
**[24:39] Ginpachi**
And that basically sums up the several decades of the samurai struggle known as
**[24:44] Ginpachi**
the "Anti-Foreigner War."
**[24:46] ---**
Gin and the others got involved during the latter part of this period.
**[24:51] ---**
In conclusion, Onishi, you go out and stand in the hallway and think about that.