E88 - "The Most Exciting Part of a Group Date is Before it Starts"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [With utter confidence, Ayumu Tojo brings information about Kyubei's frightening plans...]
SIGN    [Gintoki and his friends are hired to stop Kyubei. What will become of Kyubei's XXX?!]
[01:43] Tojo (M)
    A journal of the Young Master's growth...by Ayumu Tojo.
[01:47] Tojo (M)
    December 1.
[01:48] Tojo (M)
    Today, as always, the proper Young Master is noble, dignified and lovely.
[01:52] Tojo (M)
    Since that incident, her expression seems softer.
[01:56] Tojo (M)
    Tae-dono's presence has much to do with it.
[01:59] Tojo (M)
    Despite that scandal, she still maintains a deep friendship with the Young Master as she always has.
[02:03] Tojo (M)
    I have a heartfelt admiration for the deepness of her tolerance.
[02:07] Tojo (M)
    It is truly heartwarming to see two blooming young ladies
[02:08] Tojo (M)
    of marriageable age walking together in such a friendly manner.
[02:11] Tojo (M)
    The Young Master is a girl, after all.
[02:14] .
    I have taken a long time to get to my point,
[02:16] .
    but I wish for the Young Master to find her happiness as a girl.
[02:22] Tojo (M)
    December 2.
[02:23] ---
    As a slight hint, I placed a Gothic Lolita dress in the Young Master's room.
[02:28] Tojo (M)
    She burned it.
[02:30] Tojo (M)
    December 4.
[02:32] Tojo (M)
    The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
SIGN    [Note: Loft is a Shibuya, Tokyo based homeowner's department store that carries a variety of household goods.]
[02:36] Tojo (M)
    December 7.
[02:38] Tojo (M)
    The time appeared ripe. So I left a Gothic Lolita dress...
[02:42] Tojo (M)
    She blew it up.
[02:44] Tojo (M)
    December 10.
[02:45] Tojo (M)
    The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
[02:50] Tojo (M)
    December 12.
[02:52] Tojo (M)
    I left a nurse's costume...
[02:53] Tojo (M)
    She blew it up.
[02:55] Tojo (M)
    December 14. The curtain rail above her curtain...
[02:58] Tojo (M)
    She blew it up.
[03:01] Tojo (M)
    To anyone reading this journal.
[03:04] Tojo (M)
    The fact that you are reading this means that I am probably no longer of this world.
[03:09] Tojo (M)
    However, I believe you can certainly understand my feelings for the Young Master.
[03:14] Tojo (M)
    I implore you to see my will through...
[03:17] Tojo (M)
    and make...the Young Master...into a fine young woman...
[03:21] Tojo (M)
    December 15.
[03:23] ---
    The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
SIGN    ["The Most Exciting Part of a Group Date is Before it Starts"]
[03:35] Gintoki
    What the heck is this? A journal of the Young Master's growth?
[03:38] Shinpachi
    How much free time do you have?
[03:40] Shinpachi
    There's nothing in here except how you harassed Kyubei-san and went back and forth from Loft.
[03:44] Shinpachi
    What's your obsession with the curtain guy?
[03:46] Tojo
    Well, there were battles with the Anti-Yagyu and other things,
[03:50] Tojo
    but it wasn't worth putting in the journal.
[03:52] Shinpachi
    The curtain guy was even more irrelevant!
[03:54] Shinpachi
    I came to ask you because I thought you might be able to help,
[03:57] Shinpachi
    being that you know the Young Master's complicated circumstances.
[04:00] ---
    Could you please lend a hand?
[04:02] Gintoki
    It's difficult for us to do anything precisely because we do know the circumstances.
[04:06] Gintoki
    You want someone who was brought up as a man to suddenly become a woman?
[04:10] Gintoki
    If someone told you to become a woman from today, could you do it?
[04:12] Gintoki
    Huh?
[04:13] Gintoki
    Come back after you've cut your wang off.
[04:15] Tojo
    Farewell, Ayumu.
[04:17] Tojo
    Hello, Aya!
SIGN    [Note: Aya Tojo is one of the heroines from Strawberry 100%, whose name, Tojo, is based off of.]
[04:19] Shinpachi
    Wait! Wait! Okay! We get that you're serious!!
[04:22] Gintoki
    So, what does her father and grandfather have to say?
[04:24] Tojo
    They both say to let nature take its course.
[04:27] Tojo
    The best thing to do is to let the Young Master do as she wishes.
[04:31] Tojo
    The two of them feel responsible for making her that way, even if they did it to protect her.
[04:36] Tojo
    That guilt prevents them from taking a strong stand with the Young Master,
[04:39] Tojo
    and you could say that's what caused the previous incident.
[04:41] Tojo
    That's why I have to do something!
[04:45] Tojo
    If the Young Master, despite being a woman,
[04:47] Tojo
    avoids men and only chases after women, then can she really become happy?!
[04:52] Tojo
    No!
[04:53] Shinpachi
    I understand where you're coming from,
[04:55] Shinpachi
    but a hundred people have found a hundred different ways to happiness, right?
[04:59] Shinpachi
    If Kyubei-san is happy, isn't it wrong for outsiders to make a fuss about it?
[05:04] Tojo
    There's no time for that!
[05:07] Kagura
    Keep quiet, softie!
[05:09] Shinpachi
    Wait a minute! Why're you hitting me, Kagura?!
[05:11] Kagura
    Because you tick me off! It felt like the time I watched "Shaberiba"!
SIGN    [Note: Shaberiba is a debate/discussion forum TV show.]
[05:15] Tojo
    It's a race against time.
[05:17] Tojo
    When I was placing a Gothic Lolita costume in the Young Master's room, I found this.
[05:22] ---
    Plastic surgery?
[05:25] Gintoki (M)
    Could she be looking at...
[05:26] Shinpachi (M)
    Reconstructive surgery?!
[05:28] Shinpachi (M)
    Below that face...?!
[05:32] Shinpachi
    Is she planning to erect a filthy Tower of Babel?!
[05:37] Kagura
    A filthy Tower of Babel? You all have one.
[05:41] Tojo
    I'll pay you any amount.
[05:43] Tojo
    I'm asking you once more as a man.
[05:45] Tojo
    Can I ask for your help in preventing her from erecting a Tower of Babel?
[05:50] ---
    Let's have a group date.
[05:52] Tojo (M)
    A group date?
[05:53] Tojo (M)
    It's not going to be easy to change someone who's been living as a man up until now.
[05:58] Gintoki
    But it may be easier to awaken her womanhood.
[06:01] Tojo / Shinpachi (M)
    In other words, have her fall for a man!
[06:04] Gintoki
    That's the only way to prevent her from completing her Tower of Babel.
[06:08] ---
    Round up...
[06:10] Gintoki
    some men. The chosen Babel warriors!
[06:16] Katsura
    A group date? Don't be ridiculous.
[06:18] Katsura
    What am I supposed to say to women I don't even know?
[06:21] Katsura
    I'm a samurai, you know. I can't participate in such an immoral gathering.
[06:25] ---
    Oh, miss! Won't you work at our club?
[06:28] ---
    You could be our Number One in no time! I mean it. I'm serious!
[07:06] Gintoki
    Come on! What're you doing?!
[07:09] Gintoki
    You're the only one going to all these disreputable places!
[07:12] Gintoki
    What's with that "I did a good job" look?
[07:16] Otae
    Huh? A group date?
[07:18] Shinpachi
    Yes. It's Gin-san's idea.
[07:20] Shinpachi
    We'll put together a group on our side, so you'll need to round up some lookers.
[07:24] Otae
    My...how nasty. That man's using us as his excuse.
[07:28] Shinpachi
    Kyubei-san, by all means, join us. It's a group date, but nothing nasty.
[07:33] Kyubei
    A group date? Is that like a group practice?
[07:36] Shinpachi
    No, it's completely different.
[07:38] Kondo
    You mustn't go! You can't go!
[07:40] Kondo
    A group date is like a bleep. It's a sex party!
[07:45] Kondo
    You mustn't. You absolutely must not.
[07:47] Otae
    Who's housekeeper are you?!
[07:49] ---
    Stuff yourself in the ceiling and don't come down!
[07:53] Shinpachi
    Kyubei, it's not like that. A group date is like a luncheon.
[07:57] Kyubei
    I see. So we join together after the meal?
[08:00] Shinpachi
    That's not incorrect, but please stop that!
[08:02] Otae
    Kyu-chan, a group date is a fabulous opportunity to eat and run
[08:05] Otae
    without doing anything after making the men treat you to as much food as you want.
[08:11] Shinpachi
    Sis! Stop referencing the woman's unabridged dictionary!
[08:15] Otae
    But it might be a good opportunity to become familiar with men.
[08:18] Otae
    What do you think, Kyu-chan? Want to go?
[08:31] Gintoki
    They're late.
[08:33] Kagura
    Shinpachi, are you sure you invited them?
[08:35] Shinpachi
    I did.
[08:37] Shinpachi
    You don't look like you had any success, either.
[08:39] Shinpachi
    Where are the Babel warriors?
[08:41] Gintoki
    Babel warriors, my foot!
[08:43] Gintoki
    You and all the others don't seem very enthusiastic.
[08:47] Gintoki
    At this rate, we'll be the ones who'll have to make a move on that kid.
[08:51] Shinpachi
    Where's Tojo-san?
[08:52] Gintoki
    If he's around, Kyubei might read our intentions.
[08:55] Gintoki
    He put up a fuss, but I convinced him not to come.
[08:58] ---
    Kagura...
[08:59] Gintoki
    You're our only hope.
[09:01] Gintoki
    Mix in among the women and find out how much they like us.
[09:04] Gintoki
    Remember what I taught you? You go with them to the ladies room and...
[09:07] Kagura
    Tell me, tell me... Which guy do you like?
[09:09] Kagura
    For me it's that silver-haired guy. With the naturally wavy hair. He's cute.
[09:14] Gintoki
    No, no. He's cuuute.
[09:17] Kagura
    He's kyuuute.
[09:19] Gintoki
    No, it's cuute...
[09:22] ---
    My café au lait went down the wrong pipe.
[09:23] Kagura
    Kwuute...
[09:25] Katsura
    That's not right. Didn't I just teach you?
[09:28] Katsura
    Let's try that again. Ready...
[09:38] Katsura
    If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
[09:40] ---
    If you're gonna do it, do it now Zura.
[09:42] ---
    Joi is Joy!
SIGN    [Note: Joi is another word for Anti-Foreigner Faction.]
[09:43] Katsura
    Joy is Joi.
[09:45] Katsura
    Now the chorus!
SIGN    [Joi is...]
[09:47] ---
    No! Sing it! Don't sign it!
[09:50] ---
    I know you talk a lot when I'm not around!
[09:53] Katsura
    Okay, one more time.
[09:55] ---
    Okay...Joy!
[09:55] Gintoki
    Joy!
[09:57] Katsura
    Oh.
[09:58] Gintoki
    Not "oh." What're you doing here?
[10:01] Katsura
    You've got it all wrong. This has nothing to do with the group date.
[10:03] Katsura
    I was trying to promote the Anti-Foreigner Faction via rap.
[10:06] Gintoki
    Shut up! You turned down my invitation and are having a great time!
[10:09] Gintoki
    Why'd you choose rap, of all things?
[10:12] Gintoki
    I don't get the significance. Go kick the bucket.
[10:14] Gintoki
    I beg you-kick the bucket.
[10:15] Katsura
    It's not rap, it's Katsurap, yo.
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of Sakurap. Rap by Sakurai from the boys band, Arashi.]
[10:17] Gintoki
    Katsurap my ass. I'll wrap you until you suffocate to death.
[10:21] Sachan
    I keep telling you, I'm not!
[10:23] Sachan
    Don't put me in with you. I'm not like you.
[10:27] Kondo
    You're a stalker, too! A stalker, all right! I'm not.
[10:31] Sachan
    I'm always watching over Gin-san!
[10:34] Sachan
    I'm a fairy-like Tinker Bell! You're a specter-an idiot dick of a specter!
[10:39] Sachan
    I'm a fairy, too! No, I mean Otae-san is a fairy! I'm her Peter Pan!
[10:43] Sachan
    No, you're Putrid Pan!
[10:43] Sachan
    [Note: Word play on Peter Pan and "pan" the Japanese word for bread.]
[10:45] Kondo
    No! Peter's Pan!
[10:47] Gintoki
    That's just an ordinary pan!
[10:50] Gintoki
    Hey! Who's responsible?!
[10:52] Gintoki
    Who brought this idiot here? I really want to go home.
[10:55] ---
    Why're you wearing a torn leather jacket on your shoulders?
[10:56] ---
    Are you hot, or are you cold? Make up your mind.
[10:58] Sachan
    Gin-san, aren't you going to say anything to me? Are you ignoring me?
[11:02] Gintoki
    Sure. You look fine. Cute.
[11:04] Katsura
    You dropped your leather jacket.
[11:06] Kondo
    Oh, thank you.
[11:13] Shinpachi
    What the?
[11:21] Shinpachi
    She's here!
[11:22] Gintoki
    Why're you dressed like the One-Eyed Dragon?!
SIGN    [Note: Reference to Dokuganryu Masamune, a famous warrior.]
[11:24] Kyubei
    Sorry I'm late.
[11:27] Kyubei
    Tae-chan said a group date is like a battle between men and women.
[11:31] Kyubei
    So I came prepared.
[11:32] Shinpachi (M)
    What is she expecting the men and women to do?
[11:35] Gintoki (M)
    She really has no idea what a group date is.
[11:37] Gintoki (M)
    Oh, Kyu-chan, you go so overboard. I didn't mean it like that.
[11:42] Otae
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[11:43] Otae
    I had a tough time, Gin-san, because you said to bring some cute ones.
[11:49] Otae
    Right, girls?
[11:50] Busujima
    Huh? Just a minute. Aren't we missing the cute guys?
[11:52] Busugawa
    Come on, Otae-chan.
[11:54] Busugawa
    You said there'd be some handsome ones.
[12:01] Shinpachi (M)
    They're fully armored, but in another sense!
[12:03] Shinpachi (M)
    She's got us completely surrounded by foot soldiers!
[12:05] Gintoki (M)
    They're worse than foot soldiers. They're...
[12:08] Gintoki (M)
    zombies soldiers!
[12:10] Gintoki (M)
    You never bring anyone cuter than yourself.
[12:14] Gintoki (M)
    Use zombies to make you stand out! A strategist...she's a strategist!
[12:21] Shinpachi (M)
    Looks like we're the ones who didn't know how frightening a group date could be.
[12:26] Shinpachi (M)
    We are, without a doubt, on a battlefield!
[12:31] Tojo (M)
    January 11.
[12:33] Tojo (M)
    Today, as always, the proper Young Master is noble, dignified and lovely.
[12:36] Tojo (M)
    The Babel warriors stand to fight over a single young woman.
[12:41] Tojo (M)
    However, their destination...
[12:44] Tojo (M)
    The filthy Babel appeared much too tall.
[12:48] Tojo (M)
    What will become of the Babel warriors?
[12:52] Tojo (M)
    The outcome, after the commercial.
[12:55] Tojo (M)
    Huh? Wasn't this a journal?
[12:58] Tojo (M)
    Anyway, as for me,
[13:00] Tojo (M)
    I remembered about the curtain rail for the curtain and headed for Loft.
[13:14] Boatgirl
    Thank you for choosing our Yamatoya houseboat today.
[13:20] Boatgirl
    On our special course, you will be able to enjoy the view from up in the sky.
[13:24] Boatgirl
    What do you think, everyone?
[13:25] Boatgirl
    Isn't a costume party in the sky quite something?
[13:29] Gintoki
    You got it wrong.
[13:31] ---
    This is a group date.
[13:34] Narrator
    Here's what happened in the first half.
[13:35] Narrator
    Kyubei, an unfortunate child, was born a woman, but raised as a man.
[13:39] Narrator
    Her steward, Ayumu Tojo brought news of Kyubei's frightening plan,
[13:44] Narrator
    the building of the Tower of Babel,
[13:46] Narrator
    open parentheses attaching a penis close parentheses.
[13:48] Narrator
    In order to prevent this, the Babel warriors,
[13:51] Narrator
    open parentheses warriors with penises close parentheses
[13:52] Narrator
    rallied together in an effort to reawaken Kyubei's female sexuality and organized a group date.
[13:56] Narrator
    The men who gathered for the event were already injured parentheses stupid in the head close parentheses.
[14:00] Narrator
    In addition, more women, other than Kyubei, gathered.
[14:03] Narrator
    Can the Babel warriors protect Kyubei's (beep)?
[14:08] Narrator
    And the fate of the Earth...who cares?
[14:11] Narrator
    Right now, the final holy battle for the men is about to begin!
[14:29] Shinpachi (M)
    It's so oppressive...
[14:31] Shinpachi (M)
    What is this oppressive mood?
[14:33] ---
    Gin-san, why won't anyone talk?
[14:35] ---
    Aren't they even going to introduce themselves? Is it okay if I start?
[14:38] Gintoki (M)
    Don't make a thoughtless move!
[14:40] Gintoki (M)
    While the men should certainly take the lead here, if you do...
[14:44] Shinpachi
    Okay, there are a lot of familiar faces, so let's start with self-introductions.
[14:49] Gintoki (M)
    If you start things like that, you'll end up in charge of the party, whether you want to be or not.
[14:54] Gintoki (M)
    Even when everyone is enjoying the conversation...
[14:56] Kondo
    Okay, the second party will be karaoke.
[14:58] Shinpachi
    I'll make the reservation.
[15:00] Gintoki (M)
    No, you can't join in.
[15:02] Gintoki (M)
    Or else the opportunity to woo Kyubei will be forever lost.
[15:05] Gintoki (M)
    Bear it for now.
[15:07] Gintoki (M)
    Someone will always start things because he's unable to bear the silence.
[15:10] Shinpachi (M)
    But Gin-san this uncomfortable silence to a helpful guy like me is...unbearable.
[15:16] Gintoki (M)
    Be strong! You're not the only one suffering.
[15:20] Shinpachi (M)
    Somebody talk!
[15:22] Gintoki (M)
    I don't want to be in charge of the party! Please... I'll give you 300 yen!
[15:26] Katsura
    Excuse me.
[15:27] Katsura
    There's something I'd like to ask you.
[15:29] Gintoki (M)
    Zura!
[15:30] Gintoki (M)
    Thank you. So you'll accept the thankless job?
[15:33] Gintoki (M)
    A self-introduction or anything will do-just get things rolling.
[15:35] Katsura
    Who in the world am I?
[15:38] Gintoki (M)
    He's not introducing himself-he's questioning his existence!
[15:41] Katsura
    I have no memory since a few hours ago.
[15:43] Katsura
    Why am in a place like this? Where is this place?
[15:45] Gintoki (M)
    How would I know? Why are you here, anyways?
SIGN    ["A horse stepped on you earlier so probably since then..."]
[15:50] Katsura
    I vaguely remember...I was doing a rap or something, but that's all I can recall.
[15:54] Katsura
    What is this freakish creature?
[15:55] Katsura
    The truth is, I'm just like you.
[15:57] Kondo
    All I can remember is cutting the front of my leather jacket.
[16:00] Kondo
    Who am I?
[16:01] Kondo
    I seem to remember...I had something to do with protecting the peace on Earth.
[16:04] Gintoki (M)
    Don't go making up memories on your own.
[16:07] Katsura
    What a coincidence.
[16:08] Katsura
    I, too, have a feeling that I was protecting the peace on Earth.
[16:10] Kondo
    You, too? We seem to get along.
[16:13] Gintoki (M)
    Coincidence not! You two are enemies!
[16:16] Katsura
    Maybe we worked together.
[16:18] Kondo
    Come to think of it, it doesn't feel like we've just met for the first time.
[16:20] Kondo
    I feel as though I've been following you for quite some time.
[16:22] Gintoki (M)
    Hey, hey. Looks like this discussion among guys who lost their memories is heating up.
[16:27] Shinpachi (M)
    This isn't good, Gin-san. The women have begun talking amongst themselves.
[16:32] Gintoki (M)
    This has turned into a situation where the men and women have completely split up
[16:35] Gintoki (M)
    and are separately having their own good times.
[16:38] Gintoki (M)
    This is bad.
[16:39] Gintoki (M)
    This is no longer a group date.
[16:42] Gintoki (M)
    It's lunchtime in grade school.
[16:45] Gintoki (M)
    The desks are put together, but there is no conversation between the two groups.
[16:49] Gintoki (M)
    The gaps between the desks are deeper than the Mariana Trench.
[16:52] Shinpachi (M)
    Gin-san! If this continues, we'll never be able to go over to the other side!
[16:57] Shinpachi (M)
    We have to quickly do something.
[16:58] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[17:01] Otae
    Kyu-chan, that's not good.
[17:03] Otae
    You've left all your mushrooms.
[17:06] Kyubei
    I don't like them. Their shape makes me feel sick.
[17:09] Shinpachi (M)
    That's!
[17:10] Gintoki
    Hey.
[17:13] Gintoki
    Give me those mushrooms.
[17:15] Gintoki
    So wasteful! I'll eat them. Give them to me.
[17:20] Shinpachi (M)
    He jumped!
[17:22] Shinpachi (M)
    He's the only one who can cross the gap between the desks without a second thought!
[17:27] Shinpachi (M)
    The school boss!
[17:28] Shinpachi (M)
    His vulgar behavior rains down on both the boys and girls without discrimination.
[17:33] Shinpachi (M)
    His crude kindness shines like sunlight on both the boys and the girls.
[17:39] Gintoki
    C'mon, hurry. The teacher will see you.
[17:42] Kyubei
    Thanks.
[17:44] Shinpachi (M)
    The gap closes...
[17:46] Shinpachi (M)
    before their very eyes..
[17:47] Otae
    You shouldn't pass food between chopsticks!
SIGN    [Note: There is a Japanese superstition regarding passing something to another person using chopsticks. This is because such practice is only used when picking up cremated bones.]
[17:49] Shinpachi
    Wha....
[17:50] Shinpachi (M)
    What?! That gap was closing, but now it's...
[17:54] Shinpachi (M)
    That's...
[17:55] Shinpachi (M)
    The class president!
[17:56] Shinpachi (M)
    The only one who can control the class boss...the class president!
[17:59] Otae
    That's very poor manners, you two.
[18:02] Shinpachi (M)
    You're way worse!
[18:04] ---
    But this is bad.
[18:05] Shinpachi (M)
    Even the class boss can't hold his ground against Otae-chan,
[18:08] Shinpachi (M)
    the class president and captain of the kendo club with her skills and good looks.
[18:11] ---
    He was just about to befriend the cool, boyish transfer student,
[18:13] ---
    Yagyu-san, but now Yagyu-san's heart has drifted away!
[18:16] Shinpachi (M)
    At this rate...!
[18:19] Shinpachi (M)
    They're...!
[18:20] Busujima
    Things are heating up.
[18:21] Busujima
    Could it be you're jealous, Otae-chan?
[18:23] Shinpachi (M)
    The Ugly Sisters!
[18:26] Shinpachi (M)
    They're a group of she-leopards who have twice the interest in love, but half the opportunities.
[18:29] Shinpachi (M)
    So they go around sticking their noses into everyone's love affairs and messing them up.
[18:33] Busujima
    So is this your type, Otae-chan?
[18:36] Otae
    No. That's not what this is about.
[18:39] Shinpachi (M)
    This is bad.
[18:40] Shinpachi (M)
    The class president is out of touch when it comes to love. Can she handle the pressure?
[18:43] Shinpachi (M)
    The desks are moving apart!
[18:45] Shinpachi (M)
    The chasm between the boys and girls is growing larger!
[18:47] Shinpachi (M)
    There's no other way-I have to do this. Even if it means a fight.
[18:50] Shinpachi (M)
    They must continue talking.
[18:53] Shinpachi
    That's enough, girls! That's what you all say.
[18:55] Shinpachi
    But the truth is, you all like Gin-san, don't you?!
[19:01] ---
    That's...
[19:04] ---
    not true.
[19:06] Gintoki (M)
    This is the pits! What terrible fact did you dig up in all this confusion?!
[19:11] Gintoki
    Wait...I was...after the one with one eye...
[19:15] Sachan
    Oh!
[19:16] Sachan
    Ouch. There you are.
[19:18] Sachan
    Oops, I banged my glasses on my book.
[19:22] Shinpachi (M)
    That's...the bumbling librarian!
[19:24] Shinpachi (M)
    The bumbling woman who always watched the class boss
[19:27] Shinpachi (M)
    reading health and phys ed books from the shadows of the library.
[19:29] Shinpachi (M)
    She's the masochistic librarian!
[19:31] Sachan
    Huh? Were you talking about me?
[19:34] Gintoki (M)
    Oh no! I should've been more specific-one eye with black hair.
[19:38] Kondo
    Well?
[19:38] Katsura
    Looks good. Like a rocker.
[19:40] Kondo
    Shall we try it together then?
[19:43] Gintoki (M)
    What're you doing-ignoring the women?!
[19:45] Kondo
    We were probably blending rap and rock to sing for peace on Earth.
[19:50] Katsura
    We can't rely on the government or revolutionaries.
[19:52] Katsura
    We have to win true peace through song.
[19:55] Gintoki (M)
    What're a police officer and the Anti-Foreigner Faction leader talking about?!
[19:58] Katsura
    One, two, three, four...
[20:00] Katsura
    If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
[20:02] Katsura
    If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
[20:04] Katsura
    Joi is Joy. Joy is Joi.
[20:06] Katsura
    Divine punishment comes to kill you!
[20:09] Kondo
    Just a minute! Wait.
[20:10] Kondo
    I don't get it! It's hard to play along. What's this with Anti-Foreigner Faction?
[20:13] Shinpachi (M)
    I don't know why, but I'm tearing up.
[20:22] Shinpachi (M)
    Wh-What's this?
[20:25] Shinpachi (M)
    They've fought for years, punched each other out,
[20:28] Shinpachi (M)
    and understood each other, playing soccer with a baseball.
[20:29] Shinpachi (M)
    The captains of the baseball and soccer teams.
[20:31] Kondo
    That's why I'm telling you "Official police bust" is better than "Divine punishment"!
[20:35] Katsura
    That's too long! How am I supposed to sing to "Official police bust"?!
[20:39] Kondo
    Official police bust!
[20:40] Katsura
    Divine punishment!
[20:40] Kondo
    Official police bust!
[20:41] Katsura
    Divine punishment!
[20:42] Kondo
    Official police bust!
[20:43] Katsura
    Divine punishment!
[20:44] Kondo
    Official police bust!
[20:45] Katsura
    Divine punishment!
[20:45] Kondo
    Official police bust!
[20:46] Katsura
    Divine punishment!
[20:47] Kondo (M)
    Official police bust!
[20:48] Katsura (M)
    Divine punishment!
[20:53] Shinpachi
    The boat!
[20:56] Tojo
    Forgive me, but I'll need you to behave yourselves for a bit.
[21:01] Tojo
    They say a man and a woman who share a frightening experience often fall in love.
[21:05] Tojo
    They mistake the violent pounding of their fearful hearts for the throbbing heart of affection.
[21:09] Tojo
    Young Master!
[21:11] Tojo
    I will never allow you to build a Tower of Babel!
[21:16] Shinpachi
    We're going to die!
[21:17] Oate
    What's going on? Did we get into an accident?!
[21:19] Gintoki
    Hey, that's...!
[21:22] Gintoki
    Kyubei-san!!
[21:26] Shinpachi
    We have to save her! But how?
[21:29] Gintoki
    Pachi-san! When a woman makes up her mind, she can fall for someone just like that!
[21:34] Gintoki
    So go!
[21:35] Shinpachi
    Me?! No way! No way!
[21:36] Gintoki
    There's no way I can do it either, stupid!
[21:41] Gintoki
    I've got to try!
[21:43] Gintoki
    Kyubei!
[21:47] Gintoki
    I'm coming to save you! Hold on a bit longer!
[21:49] Kyubei
    No! I can't stand to be touched by a man!
SIGN    [Note: Kyubei has an involuntary violent reaction when a man touches her.]
[21:52] Gintoki
    This is no time to be saying that!
[22:06] Kyubei (M)
    This man! He tried to save me, even as he was being thrown off...
[22:19] Gintoki
    You touched me.
[22:22] Kyubei
    That was rash! Did you believe I would extend my hand?
[22:27] Gintoki
    I didn't think you'd touch a man unless I did something like this.
[22:30] Gintoki
    I thought I went through a lot of trouble for nothing.
[22:33] Gintoki
    But no...this is a lovely woman's hand.
SIGN    [Gothic Lolita Kimono Specialty Store]
[22:47] Tojo
    So this is what you were looking at.
[22:50] Tojo
    Young Master, I will be with you forever.
SIGN    
[24:25] Gintoki
    The next episode...
[24:26] ---
    Hey! What is this?! It's pitch dark!
[24:29] ---
    Hey!
SIGN    [Gintoki suddenly finds himself plunged into darkness.]
SIGN    [What is this place? Next time: "What Happens Twice, Happens Thrice."]
SIGN    Anti-Foreigner Faction is Joy. Lyrics and music by DJ. Ozura