E82 - “You Say Kawaii so Often, You Must Really Think You’re Cute Stuff”

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [Today we're kinda doing two stories for GinTama. The first story is about defeating the "Orochin" monster.]
SIGN    [The second story is about Hammy's request. Actually, do you even remember who Hammy is?]
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin]
[01:38] Kagura
    Let's eat!
SIGN    [Marinade 500 grams...Sugarville 100cc...water 100cc...oil]
SIGN    [2 tablespoons...500 year old salt] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped coriander stem and root] [2 tablespoons...finely chopped garlic] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped ginger]
[01:48] Shinpachi
    Gin-san... What is this?
[01:49] Gintoki
    What do you mean?
[01:50] ---
    It's lunch, of course.
[01:51] Shinpachi
    No...that's not what I meant.
[01:54] Shinpachi
    No matter how you look at it, this is just bread and rice, right?
[01:57] Gintoki
    Well, obviously.
[01:58] ---
    Does this look like fish and chips to you?
[02:02] Shinpachi
    Yeah, but eating bread with rice is just weird!
[02:04] ---
    Are we like carb fanatics or something?!
[02:06] Gintoki
    You know, carbohydrates make people happy.
[02:10] ---
    That's why we have ramen rice and chikara udon.
SIGN    [Note: Chikara udon is udon noodles with sticky rice cakes.]
[02:13] ---
    Our ancestors were the ones who recklessly combined carbohydrates into a meal,
[02:16] Gintoki
    and made it our country's tradition.
[02:20] Shinpachi
    Yeah, we haven't been getting many jobs lately.
[02:23] ---
    If we don't do something quick, we may have to keep eating like this.
[02:26] Gintoki
    Yeah, I know we gotta do something,
[02:28] Gintoki
    but there aren't that many opportunities to make money, you know.
[02:30] ---
    Money making opportunities and true love are hard to come by.
[02:34] Announcer
    Next up, a story on getting rich quick.
[02:37] Gintoki  Shinpachi
    Huh?
[02:38] Announcer
    Let's turn it over to Ketsuno-san!
[02:40] ---
    Ketsuno, Ana!
[02:41] Ketsuno
    Yes, this is Ketsuno reporting live.
[02:43] ---
    Yamata, a tranquil village rich in nature, has recently been plagued by depopulation.
[02:48] ---
    To make matters worse...
[02:50] Ketsuno
    ...the village has also come under attack by a mysterious monster.
[03:04] ---
    I beg you, please help our village.
[03:07] ---
    Any brave warriors who can defeat Orochin and the monsters living in that mountain...
SIGN    [Note: Yamata (the village) + Orochin (the monster) is a wordplay of Yamatano Orochi, an eight-headed snake folklore monster.]
[03:17] Village Chief
    ...wilI be rewarded with our village's treasure...this golden radish.
[03:23] Gintoki  Shinpachi
    Golden?!
[03:24] Kagura
    Radish!!
[03:25] Village Chief
    Brave warriors, please help us!
SIGN    ["You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction"]
[03:31] Village Chief
    Go home!!
[03:32] ---
    I will not allow you to step foot into this village!
[03:34] Village Chief
    If outsiders like you came into our village,
[03:37] Village Chief
    you'd eat all the food from our fields, destroy our land and litter all over.
[03:41] Village Chief
    You'd destroy our village's happiness!
[03:43] Village Chief
    That's why as long as I live, I will never let you in!
[03:48] Village Chief
    Now hurry up and go home!
[03:52] ---
    We traveled all the way out here, you think we're gonna go home empty handed?
[03:55] Village Chief
    Shut up!
[03:57] ---
    Stop whining and get outta here!
[04:00] Villager A  B
    Go away!
[04:00] ---
    Go home!
[04:02] Brave Warrior A
    Jeez, I'm outta here.
[04:09] Brave Warrior B
    What am I supposed to tell my wife?
[04:11] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, what are we gonna do?
[04:13] Gintoki
    Well, we have no choice but to go home.
[04:15] Villager C
    Chief!
[04:16] ---
    We did it again!
[04:18] ---
    Take a look!
[04:23] Village Chief
    You've got plenty.
[04:25] ---
    Who knew these monsters would turn into gold once they were defeated?
[04:28] ---
    Why should we give our good fortune to outsiders?
[04:33] Gintoki
    Oh yeah, now I see why you wanted to drive away the brave warriors.
[04:36] Village Chief
    Wh-What?
[04:38] ---
    Y-Y-You were listening to what I just said?
[04:46] Gintoki
    Yes, we were!
[04:55] Village Chief
    Forget everything!
[04:56] ---
    Forget it right now!
[04:58] ---
    Erase every single thing from your memory!
[05:00] Gintoki
    Impossible.
[05:01] ---
    You think anyone can really do that?
[05:02] Gintoki
    But more importantly, why suddenly...
[05:14] Gintoki
    What's with this thing?
[05:22] Gintoki
    Move.
[05:23] Kagura
    Out of our way.
[05:25] Gintoki
    Th-This is...
[05:27] Kagura
    Kintama!
SIGN    [Note: "Kintama" literally means "golden ball," but is also a slang for testicles.]
[05:28] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
[05:31] Kagura
    Okay then, how about golden ball?
[05:31] Village Chief
    That's right, girls shouldn't talk like that.
[05:32] Shinpachi
    That's not good either.
[05:34] ---
    But in any case, with this gold we no longer have to eat rice with bread.
[05:38] Gintoki
    Geez, dream a little bigger, will'ya?
[05:40] Village Chief
    Ouch!
[05:40] ---
    If we have all of this then...
[05:42] Gintoki
    I'll take all the strawberry milk you've got!
[05:44] Kagura
    Oh, come on. Think bigger than that!
[05:45] ---
    If it were me...
[05:47] Kagura
    I'll take all the pickled seaweed and plum-flavored pickled seaweed.
[05:50] Shinpachi
    All you did was add another item! That's all!
[06:00] Prince Hata
    Y-You guys, hurry up and save me.
[06:03] Gintoki
    If it's that big...
[06:05] Kagura
    ...then the "kintama" will be even bigger!
[06:05] Shinpachi
    I said...
[06:07] Shinpachi
    ...girls should not say that word, okay?
[06:20] Villager A
    Amazing!
[06:21] ---
    They took down a monster that big in an instant.
[06:24] Prince Hata
    Many thanks for your trouble.
[06:27] ---
    Come closer so I can praise you.
[06:30] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, looks like we can say farewell to our days of eating rice and bread.
[06:31] Prince Hata (Talking Simultaneously)
    Hey, you guys.
[06:33] Gintoki
    What are you talking about?
[06:33] ---
    I am trying to give you some words of gratitude.
[06:34] ---
    If we have this much money, we can splurge on a lot more.
[06:36] ---
    Come closer.
[06:37] Gintoki
    Hey, shut up, Prince Hata...I mean Prince Baka.
[06:40] ---
    You talking about bread and rice?
[06:40] Prince Hata (Talking Simultaneously)
    You got my name right and then you corrected yourself?
[06:41] ---
    Stop thinking so small, you commoner!
[06:43] ---
    Not only that, you paused for effect?
[06:44] Kagura
    Shut up, you idiot!
[06:45] ---
    Bread with rice?
[06:45] Prince Hata (Talking Simultaneously)
    Jeez, calling me an idiot every single time.
[06:47] ---
    That's why I don't like commoners.
[06:48] ---
    Everyone knows real luxury is when you can eat two bottles
[06:48] ---
    Is it really that much fun getting my name wrong?
[06:51] ---
    Is it?
[06:51] ---
    of sweetened seaweed preserves with rice and one bottle with bread!
[06:52] ---
    You low class monkeys!
[06:53] Shinpachi
    Die, you idiot!
[06:54] ---
    That's luxury?
[06:54] ---
    I'm not going to take this from you.
[06:56] ---
    Having sweetened seaweed preserves isn't much of a difference.
[06:56] ---
    I won't!
[06:58] Gintoki
    All right, let's hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy so we can indulge in every possible luxury!!
[07:04] Shinpachi  Kagura
    Yeah!
[07:06] Odd Jobs
    Hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy!!
[07:10] Prince Hata
    Oh excuse me, you people over there, I have a question.
[07:14] ---
    Is there something called an Orochin around here?
[07:15] Village Chief
    Dammit!!
[07:17] ---
    If they're going to hunt with such vigor they'll end up taking everything we own!
[07:21] ---
    Hey, secretary!
[07:22] ---
    By the authority vested in me as the village chief, I declare a level one emergency.
[07:27] Secretary
    Yes, sir.
[07:31] Prince Hata
    I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated?
[07:35] ---
    I might as well transfer over to D. Gray-man.
SIGN    [Note: D.Gray-man is another Shonen Jump manga.]
[07:44] Gintoki
    What the heck is this?
[07:46] Shinpachi
    Yeah, these buildings look out of place.
[07:48] Kagura
    It doesn't look that different from Kabukicho.
SIGN    [The house of happiness]
SIGN    [The plaza of happiness]
SIGN    [The mansion of happiness]
SIGN    [Note: Sign in background says: "The civic hall of happiness."]
[07:52] Gintoki
    What's with this forced feeling of happiness?
[07:56] Kagura
    Yeah, it's so happy that it's actually spooky.
[07:58] Shinpachi
    This is what you call the product of public enterprise.
[08:01] Kagura
    Do you think happiness can be achieved from this, Gin-chan?
[08:03] Gintoki
    Happiness depends on each person.
[08:06] ---
    If you think you're happy, then you must be happy.
[08:08] Gintoki
    But in any case, with all these buildings, it'll be hard to find monsters.
[08:13] Gintoki
    So...there!
[08:15] Sachan
    Ouch!
[08:17] Sachan
    Aw...ouch.
[08:18] Gintoki
    Hey, Stalker!
[08:19] Gintoki
    You're gonna be my hunting dog from now on.
[08:21] ---
    A dog?!
[08:22] Sachan
    Oh yes, Master, here is my chain.
[08:25] Gintoki
    Listen up.
[08:26] ---
    Find a monster and tell us where it is, you got that?
[08:29] Shinpachi
    Come on, she looks so pitiful. Let's give her a break, Gin-san.
[08:32] Sachan
    Shut up! Butt out, four-eyes.
[08:34] Gintoki
    Go!
[08:35] Sachan
    Bow wow.
[08:36] Village Chief
    Listen up, you all!
[08:38] ---
    The whole village will now go on a monster hunt.
[08:41] Village Chief
    Do your best for the happiness of this village!
[08:48] Gintoki
    You're mine!
[08:58] ---
    Why just me?!
[09:01] Village Chief
    Attack!
[09:19] Village Chief
    Keep it up so we can collect as many golden balls as we can!
[09:27] Gintoki
    Pick'em up, pick'em up.
[09:28] ---
    They're all ours!
[09:30] Shinpachi
    It's gold.
[09:31] ---
    Golden balls, golden balls!
[09:34] Kagura
    One golden ball, two golden balls, three golden balls...
[09:39] Sachan
    One of Gin-san's golden balls, two of Gin-san's golden balls, three of Gin-san's-
[09:45] Gintoki
    Stop saying stuff that'll give people the wrong idea and just go find monsters!
[09:48] Sachan
    Bow wow...
[09:55] Sachan
    Gin-san, this way, bow wow.
[10:00] Prince Hata
    Where's Orochin?
[10:06] Sachan
    Now, this way, bow wow.
[10:10] Prince Hata
    Orochin... Orochin.
[10:15] Sachan
    Gin-san!
[10:16] ---
    That's the last monster, bow wow.
[10:17] Gintoki
    All right!! Here we go.
[10:23] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, Kagura, don't lose focus now.
[10:26] Shinpachi  Kagura
    All right!
[10:27] Village Chief
    Villagers!
[10:28] ---
    Don't lose to them!
[10:31] Village Chief
    Attack!
[10:40] Village Chief
    Make sure you get all the golden balls.
[10:43] ---
    Don't let them grab a single one!
[10:45] Kagura
    These are my golden balls.
[10:47] ---
    No one's gonna take'em away from me!
[10:48] Shinpachi
    Hey, that's ours.
[10:50] ---
    Don't touch them!
[10:52] Gintoki
    Try and get'em if you can.
[10:54] Sachan
    Keep your hands off Gin-san, bow wow.
[10:57] Villager F
    It stinks! What's is this? Natto?
[11:00] Villager F
    Ch-Chief, it's useless.
[11:02] ---
    They're too strong.
[11:04] ---
    We're no match for them.
[11:08] Village Chief
    Orochin!
[11:09] ---
    Hunt down Orochin!
[11:11] ---
    Then we will still get more golden balls!
[11:14] Village Chief
    Everyone, hunt down Orochin!
[11:15] ---
    Orochin!
[11:16] Villagers
    He's right.
[11:17] ---
    If we kill Orochin, we'll get even more golden balls.
[11:18] ---
    He's right, let's hunt down Orochin!
[11:21] Villager B
    Let's go hunt down Orochin!
[11:24] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, Kagura.
[11:26] ---
    Let's go hunt down Orochin, too!
[11:27] Shinpachi  Kagura
    All right!
[11:41] Villager
    Wow! Amazing!
[11:45] Villager
    Wow, this feels good...
SIGN    [Mountain summit]
[11:51] Gintoki
    Like I'm gonna fall for that!
[12:03] Orochin
    Oro oro oro oro orochin.
[12:08] Gintoki
    Orochin!
[12:10] Gintoki
    Give yourself up!
[12:36] Village Chief
    What's going on?
[12:49] Village Chief
    Secretary... What just happened?
[12:53] Secretary
    That was a fake Orochin.
[12:55] ---
    The real Orochin is me.
[13:00] Secretary
    In order for me to take on my true form as Orochin,
[13:04] Secretary
    I needed the power of people's endless greed.
[13:08] ---
    To get that, I let loose monsters in your village
[13:11] ---
    and I planned it so you can get gold when you kill them.
[13:15] Gintoki
    If that was the case, why even have monsters in the first place?
[13:19] Secretary
    It wouldn't have been as fun now, would it?
[13:22] ---
    It's like even if a noodle shop sells the best tasting noodles,
[13:24] ---
    who would want to go there if there wasn't a line to get in?
[13:27] Gintoki
    I guess...that's true.
[13:31] Secretary
    Now that you understand, I'd like to thank you by showing you my true form.
[14:02] Orochin (Secretary)
    There is one thing I must apologize for.
SIGN    [Note: This is a parody of a scene from Osamu Tezuka's Phoenix manga. She looks like the Phoenix character.]
[14:05] ---
    When I turn into my true form, the golden balls,
[14:08] ---
    which were the objects of your desires, turn into dirt.
[14:16] Village Chief
    Y-You're kidding...
[14:19] Orochin (Secretary)
    Well, farewell everyone!!
[14:24] Prince Hata
    Orochin.
[14:26] Prince Hata
    Ah, it's flying away.
[14:27] ---
    Come back!
[14:29] ---
    Come on, old man. Do something.
[14:30] Old Man
    Are you an idiot or what?
[14:32] Prince Hata
    What did you say?
[14:33] ---
    Is that any way to talk to a prince?
[14:37] Village Chief
    Looks like my plan to build a happy village is over.
[14:42] Gintoki
    Hey come on, in life, there are happy times and unhappy times.
[14:47] ---
    George once told me, sometimes it's the simple things in life that can give you happiness.
SIGN    [Note: Lyrics from the "Road" song sung by George Takahashi.]
[14:52] Gintoki  Shinpachi  Kagura
    Ah!
[14:53] ---
    I found 100 yen!
[14:54] Gintoki
    I saw it first.
[14:55] ---
    It's mine!
[14:56] Shinpachi
    I saw it when I first came out of the cave.
[14:58] Kagura
    That's not fair.
[14:59] ---
    You know I saw it when we were climbing the mountain!
[15:03] Gintoki
    You idiots!
[15:04] ---
    I'm the first one to touch it!
SIGN    ["You Say Kawaii So Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff"]
[15:11] Hamko
    My dad said something about how you guys saved me once.
[15:16] ---
    So I came to ask you a favor.
[15:19] Gintoki
    I don't remember at all.
[15:21] ---
    Oh, wait, is it something like...
SIGN    [Note: Shabu Shabu is a hot pot dish.]
[15:23] ---
    I saved your fat ass from almost being turned into "Shabu Shabu"?
[15:27] Hamko
    You're, like, really getting on my nerves.
[15:30] ---
    That's like, impossible.
[15:31] Gintoki
    You're right.
[15:32] ---
    Shabu Shabu is made with beef.
[15:34] Gintoki
    So what?
[15:35] ---
    Was it Pork Bits?
SIGN    [Note: Pork Bits is a brand of sausage in Japan.]
[15:36] ---
    You okay with that one, Miss Piggy?
[15:38] Shinpachi
    Do you even know what you're talking about?
[15:40] Shinpachi
    She's from back then...You know, when we fought the Harusame gang.
[15:43] Gintoki
    Oh right, Ham girl!
[15:46] Hamko
    You just went from calling me a pig to ham!!
[15:48] ---
    Seriously, that would never happen, okay?
[15:50] ---
    I was told you guys were reliable,
[15:52] Hamko
    so I came here to hire you, but you're all like, pissing me off!
[15:54] Kagura
    Yeah, and so are you.
[15:55] Hamko
    What?!
[15:57] Shinpachi
    I...I'm sorry.
[15:58] ---
    So how have things been after that, Hammy-san?
[16:01] Hamko
    I can see you're trying to salvage the situation, but my name's Kimiko not Hamiko.
[16:06] Hamko
    I stopped doing "Paradise" a long time ago.
SIGN    [Note: Paradise is a drug mentioned waaaay back in episode 13.]
[16:09] ---
    It's been really hard to get over it and I'm still getting treated at the hospital.
[16:12] ---
    It just wears me down.
[16:13] Gintoki
    Wears what down?
[16:15] ---
    Your heart?
[16:16] Hamko
    I already paid for what I did and I learned my lesson.
[16:19] ---
    But this time it's my boyfriend who's in trouble.
[16:22] Shinpachi
    Hamko-san, you must still be hallucinating.
[16:25] Hamko
    Do you guys really get that much enjoyment out of teasing me?
[16:27] Hamko
    This is the text message I got from my boyfriend.
SIGN    [From: Tasuke]
[16:30] Gintoki
    I'm in deep poop!
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy]
[16:31] ---
    Deep, deep poopy!
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!]
[16:33] ---
    How deep?
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!]
[16:34] ---
    Real deep.
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!] [How deep?]
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!] [How deep?] [Real deep.]
SIGN    [From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!] [How deep?] [Real deep.] [I'm talking deep.]
[16:35] ---
    I'm talking deep.
[16:36] Gintoki
    Yup, this is bad.
[16:38] ---
    Better call a mental hospital instead of us.
[16:40] Hamko
    He's not crazy in the head!
[16:42] Hamko
    To tell you the truth, my boyfriend was a "Paradise" drug dealer.
[16:46] ---
    When I quit, we decided to go straight together and live decent lives.
[16:50] Hamko
    But...apparently he was in too deep and not only would they not let him quit,
[16:55] Hamko
    but the organization is now after him too.
[16:58] ---
    In any case, he's in totally deep poop.
[16:59] ---
    That's why I'm here to ask for your help.
[17:02] Amanto A
    Hurry up and find him! Come on!
[17:06] Amanto B
    Where the hell is he?!
[17:11] Tasuke
    Crap! I'm in deep poop!
[17:13] ---
    What the heck is Kimiko doing?
[17:17] Leader
    Hmm... So you're planning on leaving the organization
[17:20] Leader
    to go live happily ever after with this Kimiko-chan?
[17:23] ---
    Who the hell is Kimiko?
[17:25] ---
    Is she your woman?
[17:26] Leader
    Well, isn't that nice, Tasuke.
[17:30] Tasuke
    W-Wait.
[17:32] ---
    Let me go!
[17:33] ---
    I don't wanna do this kind of risky stuff anymore.
[17:34] ---
    I want to live a decent life.
[17:36] Leader
    Decent?
[17:38] ---
    That's funny coming from a thief like you!
[17:40] ---
    We don't give a damn about you!
[17:43] ---
    We just want the stuff!
[17:45] Leader
    We're not gonna let you just taste the good stuff and then run away.
[17:49] ---
    Where did you hide it?
[17:51] ---
    You'd better tell us quick or else...
[17:53] Tasuke
    W-Wait.
[17:54] ---
    I really don't...
[17:59] Leader
    This is what's gonna happen!
[18:03] Leader
    You can still talk, right?
[18:05] ---
    Okay, next I'll cut here. Right here!
[18:07] Tasuke
    Wait!
[18:08] ---
    I really don't know anything.
[18:10] ---
    Seriously, I don't have it.
[18:11] Leader
    Then, die!
[18:20] Zoh Elephant
    Who the hell are you?
[18:22] Gintoki
    Who the hell am I?
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of Strange Old Man character by Ken Shimura.]
[18:24] ---
    Yeah, you got it.
[18:25] ---
    I'm-
[18:26] Hamko
    Tasuke!
[18:28] Tasuke
    Kimiko!
[18:29] Hamko
    Everything's okay now.
[18:30] ---
    I brought the Odd Jobs guy with me.
[18:32] ---
    These guys will do anything as long as you pay them.
[18:34] Tasuke
    Do anything?
[18:35] ---
    Looks like he can't even stand up.
[18:37] ---
    You sure about this?
[18:38] Gintoki
    Ow... She ruined it.
[18:40] ---
    Hey, change of plans.
[18:42] ---
    We're gonna leave these guys and retreat.
[18:44] Kagura
    Aye aye, sir.
[18:47] Hamko
    Hey!
[18:48] ---
    What the hell are you doing escaping alone?!
[18:49] Gintoki
    Sorry but I never had plans to escape with two pigs on my back.
[18:53] Hamko
    What the hell?!
[18:54] ---
    Do you know how many parfaits I treated you to?
[18:57] ---
    You'd better work for them!
[19:01] Gintoki
    My-My stomach's getting squished...
[19:04] ---
    Oh crap, this is bad.
[19:05] ---
    It's gonna come out! I'm telling you my internal organs are gonna burst out.
[19:08] Kagura
    Your internal organs?
[19:10] Kagura
    No, Gin-chan!!
[19:11] ---
    If something like that comes out, I'll never be able to get the image out of my head!
[19:14] ---
    It'll ruin our friendship!
[19:15] Shinpachi
    Like that would really happen!
[19:17] Kagura
    Shinpachi, take the rope.
[19:18] Shinpachi
    Hey, hang on.
[19:20] Kagura
    Hamko!
[19:22] Hamko  Kagura
    Let go of Gin-chan or else his internal organs will pop out!
[19:27] Hamko
    Hey...what are you doing? You're seriously pissing me off!
[19:29] Gintoki
    Speaking of which, you get off me too...
[19:31] ---
    Ah!!
[19:32] ---
    It came out!!
[19:33] ---
    Something came out of my ass!!
[19:34] ---
    Shinpachi!
[19:35] ---
    Take a look for me.
[19:35] ---
    Did something come out? Did it?
[19:37] Shinpachi
    How would I know?
[19:38] ---
    I can't hold it anymore!
[19:40] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[19:41] ---
    Oh no, get outta there quick!
[19:48] ---
    When you get down to it, this suits us the best.
[19:51] Gintoki
    Follow me, guys.
[19:53] ---
    We're gonna bulldoze our way through!!
[19:54] Gintoki
    Outta my way!
[20:00] Hamko
    You can totally kick ass!
[20:02] ---
    Oh, I think I'm falling for you.
[20:03] Gintoki
    No, seriously, that's bad. Don't do that.
[20:05] ---
    Besides, what's all this?
[20:07] ---
    What's going on?
[20:08] Gintoki
    Pretty big going away party for one little punk, eh?!
[20:11] ---
    Something fishy is going on with pube head over there!
[20:14] Hamko
    What?
[20:15] ---
    Are you saying Tasuke might have done something bad?
[20:17] Tasuke
    No way!
[20:18] ---
    I decided to live a decent life with Kimiko!
[20:21] Tasuke
    And I ain't no pube head.
[20:23] ---
    This is a fashionable wig.
[20:25] ---
    Don't dis my wig!
[20:28] Hamko
    Hey...
[20:29] Gintoki
    You really should remember where you hide your stuff.
[20:33] ---
    It's the "Paradise!"
[20:34] Amanto D
    So that's where the bastard was hiding it.
[20:36] ---
    Grab it!
[20:42] Hamko
    ...Tasuke...
[20:43] Hamko
    You...stole "Paradise" from the gang, didn't you?
[20:46] ---
    Why?
[20:48] Hamko
    You said you were gonna quit!
[20:50] ---
    You said we'd live a decent life together!
[20:54] Leader
    Tasuke... How about we make a deal?
[20:57] Leader
    You can have her back in exchange for the drugs you stole.
[21:01] Leader
    Hand it over now and I'll let you go too.
[21:04] Hamko
    Don't listen to him.
[21:05] ---
    He's going to kill you!
[21:07] ---
    Forget about me. Hurry and run-
[21:09] Hamko
    That didn't take you long to decide!
[21:10] ---
    And you run so fast?!
[21:13] Tasuke
    Do whatever you want to her!
[21:15] Tasuke
    Later, Kimiko! Nice knowing you!
[21:18] Tasuke
    I only went out with you 'cause I thought you were rich.
[21:21] ---
    Otherwise who would wanna go out with a pig like you?
[21:24] Tasuke
    In the end, this world is all about...
[21:26] Tasuke
    ...money.
[21:33] Gintoki
    You Amanto who prey on humans.
[21:35] Gintoki
    And you pathetic humans who wag your tails and lap up the crumbs.
[21:40] ---
    You're the pigs.
[21:42] Gintoki
    No way am I going to protect a miserable pig like him.
[21:45] Leader
    Whose side are you on, you bastard?!
[21:49] Gintoki
    Neither.
[21:50] Gintoki
    But never mind that. Here.
[21:53] Gintoki
    I'll trade you this for the ugly chick.
[21:56] Leader
    You hand it over first.
[21:58] Gintoki
    What are you afraid of?
[22:02] Amanto A
    He threw it!
[22:03] Amanto B
    Hey, somebody catch it!
[22:08] Leader
    Oh no, our precious "Paradise."
[22:11] ---
    Scoop it up! Pick it up!
[22:13] Leader
    What the hell has he done?
[22:14] Amanto A
    Hey, that girl's gone too.
[22:20] Hamko
    This is unbelievable.
[22:22] Hamko
    I asked you to help Tasuke and look what happened.
[22:26] Gintoki
    You're the one who's unbelievable.
[22:28] ---
    What are you gonna do with that mess?
[22:29] Shinpachi
    Just to let you know, you can't eat that even if you grill it.
[22:32] Hamko
    Are we going there again?
[22:33] Gintoki
    Is it because if you let him go you may never get a boyfriend again?
[22:37] ---
    There are such things as miracles in this world, you know.
[22:40] Hamko
    I don't need a pathetic miracle like that.
[22:42] ---
    I'm probably the only one...
[22:45] Hamko
    ...who would go out with a loser like him.
[22:47] Gintoki
    What was that all about?
[22:49] Shinpachi
    They look more like mother and son...
[22:50] Shinpachi
    ...than a couple.
[22:52] Gintoki
    If I had a mother like that, I'd turn to crime, too.
SIGN    [Next: "Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"]
SIGN    [A cold has been going around Gostess Club Smile. And of all times, an important guest decides to stop by.]
SIGN    [The usual characters are asked to help. And who shows up but the Shogun himself!!]