E78 - "People who are picky about food are picky about people, too"
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Shinpachi
Kyubei Yagyu took Otae away.
[00:04] Shinpachi
In an effort to rescue her, the Odd Jobs trio, led by Shinpachi,
[00:07] Shinpachi
and three of the Shinsengumi, led by Kondo, challenged the Yagyu clan.
[00:13] Shinpachi
But, the Four Aces of the Yagyu clan and their leader, Kyubei Yagyu, stand in their way.
[00:19] Shinpachi
In order to take Otae back, they must take on the Yagyu in a six-on-six game of survival.
[00:25] Nishino
That was too easy!
[00:28] Okita
Hmph.
[00:28] ---
I was waiting for that.
[00:30] Okita
Now!
[00:37] Nishino
The strategist is beaten by his own strategy!
SIGN [Kagura and Okita together gave the Kodokan team a victory over Nishino.]
SIGN [The second match is between Hijikata and Kitaoji. A match between a mayo maniac and a ketchup freak.]
[02:32] Shinpachi
Okita-san...
[02:34] Kondo
My god...
[02:35] ---
Sogo... Not Sogo...
[02:39] Shinpachi
This is terrible. It's snapped in two.
[02:43] Shinpachi
They must've struck simultaneously...
[02:44] ---
I can't see how he could've defeated this man on a broken leg.
[02:49] Shinpachi
He probably defeated him, and then when he was exhausted...
[02:53] Kondo
It can't be!
[02:55] Kondo
There's no way Sogo would lose...
[02:59] ---
Right, Sogo?
[03:02] Kondo
You were the quickest study at our dojo.
[03:06] Kondo
You surpassed everyone in no time at all.
[03:09] Kondo
You're teasing me again, aren't you?
[03:12] ---
I won't fall for that.
[03:16] ---
Right, Sogo?
[03:17] Kondo
Answer me, Sogo!
[03:22] ---
They won't get away with this.
[03:23] Kondo
They won't get away with this! I swear!
[03:25] Kondo
Was it necessary to go this far?!
[03:27] ---
Wasn't it supposed to end once the plate was broken?!
[03:28] Kondo
Those bastards must enjoy...tormenting people!
[03:35] Shinpachi (M)
Their cell phone...
[03:37] ---
Maybe they left evidence of who did this to Okita-san...
[03:45] Kondo
Dammit!
[03:46] ---
Who the hell did such a cruel thing?!
[03:49] ---
Sogo, I'll get revenge for you, I swear!
[03:52] ---
Right, Shinpachi-kun?
[03:53] Shinpachi
Dammit! Who did this to Okita-san?! I have no idea!
[03:58] Shinpachi
If I ever find out, I'm seriously going to kill the bastard!
[04:00] Kondo
Yeah! I'll kill the bastard, too!
[04:02] ---
Huh? Why're you perspiring?
[04:07] Shinpachi
It's hot in here. Turn on the air conditioner! Those dummies!
[04:11] Shinpachi
Come on out! Where'd you go?! We're avenging Okita-san!
[04:21] Shinpachi
Forgive us. We didn't know you were having a meal.
[04:23] Kondo
Wrong room.
[04:27] Shinpachi/Kondo
What the hell are you doing?!
SIGN ["People Who Are Picky About Food Are Also Picky About People, Too"]
[04:36] Kitaoji
Can't fight on an empty stomach.
[04:38] ---
Care to join us?
[04:40] Kondo
I'm not eating a meal prepared by the enemy!
[04:42] Shinpachi
Hijikata-san, what're you doing relaxing and taking it easy?
[04:45] Shinpachi
Let's have the three of us take him out!
[04:47] Hijikata
Hey! Don't interfere.
[04:50] Shinpachi
Hijikata-san!
[04:51] Hijikata
I'm eating fried rice.
[04:53] Shinpachi
You're having fried rice?!
[04:54] Kitaoji
Pass the ketchup, will you?
[04:56] Hijikata
Hm, this?
[04:57] Shinpachi
Hey, what's going on here?
[05:00] ---
There's no tension or anything here.
[05:02] Kitaoji
Ordinary people wouldn't understand.
[05:04] Kitaoji
The match has already begun.
[05:08] Kitaoji
Samurai do things their own way, be it a meal or even how they hold their chopsticks.
[05:14] Kitaoji
Everything they do in their daily life is training for their spirit.
[05:18] Kitaoji
It is how a samurai builds a strong, iron-willed spirit.
[05:22] ---
Toshiro Hijikata. Do you have that in you?
[05:29] Shinpachi
Ketchup! That much ketchup on your rice omelet?!
[05:36] Kitaoji
Let me say one thing.
[05:38] ---
Everyone around me thinks I'm totally crazy for ketchup,
[05:42] ---
but the truth is, I can't stand tomatoes.
[05:44] ---
Just looking at one makes me want to puke.
[05:48] Kitaoji
By eating what I detest in excess, I build up an unbendable strong spirit.
[05:54] Kitaoji
Now I've come to love the tomatoes that I once couldn't eat
[05:57] Kitaoji
and even eat my tomatoes with ketchup.
[05:59] Kondo (M)
That's not training. That's just plain unhealthy.
[06:02] Kitaoji
Could you do what I did?
[06:06] Kitaoji
Wh-What is that white stuff?!
[06:08] Hijikata
Mayonnaise!
[06:11] Kitaoji (M)
M-Mayonnaise...
[06:13] ---
Mayonnaise on fried rice?! They don't go together!
[06:18] ---
Could he also be...?
[06:21] Hijikata
Let me say one thing.
[06:24] ---
Everyone around me thinks I'm a total mayo maniac,
[06:27] ---
but the truth is, I can't stand mayonnaise.
[06:29] ---
Just seeing that red cap makes me want to puke.
SIGN [Note: Japanese mayo comes in a plastic squeeze bottle with a red cap.]
[06:34] Shinpachi (M)
He's lying!
[06:36] Kondo (M)
He's lying through his teeth because he doesn't want to lose!
[06:38] Kondo (M)
That mayo maniac!
[06:39] Kitaoji
Hmph.
[06:40] ---
I see they don't call you the Demon Vice-Chief for nothing.
[06:44] ---
That was quite an interesting meal.
[06:47] Hijikata
I need a smoke. Do you have an ashtray?
[06:53] Kitaoji
Where's your thanks for the meal before you smoke?
[06:56] Hijikata
Thanks for the god-awful meal.
[06:58] Kitaoji
Here...
[06:59] Kitaoji
Your ashtray!
[07:10] Kitaoji
You have faster reflexes than I expected.
[07:13] Kitaoji
You possess exceptional physical skills...reflexes...
[07:17] ---
Intuition and courage nurtured by surviving numerous close calls with death.
[07:20] Kitaoji
Fight-tested sword skills indeed.
[07:23] Kitaoji
Most ordinary swordsmen would be no match for you.
[07:26] Kitaoji
But that fighting style only works on third-rate swordsmen.
[07:30] Kitaoji
It won't work in a duel between two masters.
[07:33] Hijikata
You? A master?
[07:36] Hijikata
You look like you've never even killed a bug in your life, sonny.
[07:41] Kitaoji
Killing each other is not all there is to swordsmanship.
[07:44] ---
Bring it on!
[07:47] Hijikata
You're...all talk!
[07:51] Kitaoji
I know what you're going to do.
[07:53] Kitaoji
You use a head-on attack that leaves you open for your enemy to attack.
[07:57] Kitaoji
And when he does, you use your quick instincts to parry the blow.
[08:01] Hijikata
I can read...your moves as well!
[08:06] Kitaoji
Your instincts are too sharp.
[08:13] Kondo
Toshi!
[08:15] Kitaoji
You twisted your body to protect the plate from the blow.
[08:17] Kitaoji
Your instincts are truly impressive.
[08:20] Kitaoji
But that will be your demise.
[08:22] Kondo
This is bad. That man figured out Toshi's habits in such a short time.
[08:27] Kondo
In the real-sword fighting style that we Shinsengumi are proud of,
[08:31] Kondo
taking a single blow from an opponent means certain death.
[08:35] Kondo
That's why the ability to sense danger is an absolute requirement.
[08:41] Kondo
The ability to sense your opponent's movements using a highly honed intuition...
[08:45] Kondo
to stop the enemy's attack.
[08:47] Kondo
Toshi is better at that than anyone.
[08:50] Kondo
But this guy's dojo swordsmanship
[08:54] Kondo
excels at surprise attacks to score points rather than killing blows.
[08:58] Kondo
Versus this guy, Toshi's exceptional instincts work against him.
[09:03] Kondo
Carrying that huge plate, he's forced to react quicker than usual.
[09:08] Kondo
That guy will attack Toshi's openings.
[09:10] Kondo
He'll feign an attack and back off.
[09:12] Kondo
Act like he's backing away,
[09:14] Kondo
then strike.
[09:19] Kondo
Toshi will unconsciously react... to that guy's countless feints.
[09:22] Kondo
That guy will do it over and over again.
[09:25] Kondo
He is unmistakably a master.
[09:30] Kondo
His is a dojo sword style that can bend the minds of others to his will.
[09:39] Kitaoji
If this were a dojo match, I'd have already scored multiple times.
[09:42] ---
And if this were a real fight, you'd have already lost your life.
[09:48] Kitaoji
Give it up already.
[09:50] Kitaoji
You'll be stuck on the defensive with that huge plate.
[09:58] Kitaoji
You still want to continue?
[10:00] Hijikata
A point, two points...it doesn't matter how many you get-it's all irrelevant!
[10:05] Hijikata
A fight with real swords means you have to keep fighting even if you lose an arm or a leg.
[10:10] Hijikata
Just so long as your head is still attached.
[10:14] ---
This is why I detest the barbaric country samurai fighting style...
[10:18] Hijikata
By the way, I borrowed an ashtray.
[10:20] ---
I can't get going without a smoke.
[10:26] Kitaoji (M)
Is that my plate?!
[10:27] Kitaoji
Damn you, when did you...
[10:29] Kitaoji
When?!
[10:34] Kitaoji (M)
Huh? I still have it.
[10:38] Kitaoji (M)
That's...from earlier...
[10:41] Hijikata
I don't know if you'd call that a feint,
[10:43] Hijikata
but I won't lose to you when it comes to deception.
[10:53] Hijikata
For all the ketchup you poured on your rice omelet,
[10:56] Hijikata
you kept it to a reasonable amount.
[10:57] Hijikata
You're unable to break away from your set forms.
[11:00] Hijikata
That's the limitation of dojo swordsmanship.
[11:04] Kitaoji
I put mayonnaise even on dessert.
[11:08] Hijikata
Come. I'll show you what real fighting is.
[11:23] Kitaoji
Fights, real battles...
[11:25] Kitaoji
In my time, I've seen many like yourself who shout such words
[11:29] Kitaoji
and make light of dojo practice.
[11:32] Kitaoji
They lose the match,
[11:34] Kitaoji
but claim their swordsmanship is more suited to actual battle.
[11:36] Kitaoji
They claim they wouldn't lose if it had been with real swords.
[11:38] Kitaoji
Those are all excuses.
[11:41] Kitaoji
That drivel is what people who don't practice say.
[11:46] Kitaoji
I've heard enough.
[11:48] Kitaoji
No matter how much natural ability you have,
[11:49] Kitaoji
no matter how many times you've been in a real fight,
[11:52] Kitaoji
you cannot win against someone who trains everyday.
[11:54] Kitaoji
That's what I believe.
[11:56] ---
But, there are some who believe my thinking is old-fashioned.
[11:59] Kondo (M)
It's old, all right. And so it that deformity.
[12:01] Kitaoji
Anyone who thinks my deformity is old-fashioned is really the old-fashioned ones.
[12:04] Kondo (M)
No, yours is beyond old.
[12:06] Hijikata
Hey, what's with your eyes?
Why do they look like butts?
[12:10] Kondo
You're more rude than old-fashioned.
[12:12] Kitaoji
While you were wildly swinging your swords around screaming about fights and real battles,
[12:16] Kitaoji
we were doing everything we could to train ourselves.
[12:20] Kitaoji
You people cannot win against us.
[12:22] Hijikata
No, no, you're certainly deadly with words. Now, let's try swords.
[12:28] Kitaoji
Fool! Learn your lesson!
[12:33] Kitaoji
Hmph.
[12:34] ---
Your attack pattern never changes.
[12:40] Kitaoji (M)
No matter how many times you attack
[12:42] Kitaoji (M)
as long as you carry that huge plate, you'll always have to be on the defensive.
[12:47] Kitaoji (M)
If I show any sign of striking at that plate, you'll always switch to the defensive.
[12:51] Kitaoji (M)
Even if you know I'm feinting, you'll bite. That will leave you open.
[12:58] Kitaoji (M)
Here's the bait. Bite.
[13:00] Kitaoji
You're just a small fry!
[13:03] Kitaoji
What?
[13:04] Hijikata
I'm sick of your cheap bait.
[13:06] Hijikata
If you want to land this fish, bring me a full course meal smothered in mayonnaise.
[13:13] Hijikata
No more fishing me out!
[13:16] Hijikata
I won't...retreat anymore!
[13:20] Kitaoji (M)
A high-speed attack to counter the feints.
[13:22] Kondo
His plan is to mount a ferocious attack so his enemy has no time to counter-attack.
[13:26] Kondo
Offense is the best defense. He's finally acting like himself.
[13:31] Kitaoji
I see you're trying to finish this.
[13:33] Kitaoji
But you can't launch a decisive attack in a place with such poor footing.
[13:37] Kitaoji
Your movement is hampered, so you'll just exhaust yourself.
[13:41] Kitaoji
What's more, you have a fatal weakness.
[13:44] Hijikata
Don't give me that!
[13:46] Kitaoji
I can read your moves like a book.
[13:49] ---
Monotonous brute force strikes that never change.
[13:54] ---
No matter how many times you swing, you won't be able to hit me even once.
[13:59] Hijikata
You may be able to read my sword...
[14:01] Hijikata
But you can you read my feet underwater?!
[14:07] Kitaoji
You said I'm stuck in my set forms,
[14:10] Kitaoji
but from what I can see, you're the one stuck in set forms.
[14:14] Kitaoji
Thousands, tens of thousands of patterns and counters have been hammered into my body.
[14:18] Kitaoji
I have learned every possible set form.
[14:24] Kitaoji
It's more reliable than the simple intuition and instinct you rely on.
[14:28] Kitaoji
In a duel, it manifests as a split-second difference in decision-making.
[14:36] Kitaoji
In a duel between masters, that difference becomes fatal!
[14:41] Kitaoji
This is the difference between you and me.
[14:43] Kitaoji
Neglecting to work hard because you were too full of your own natural ability will be your downfall!
[14:48] Kitaoji
This is the strength of the dojo swordsmanship...that you mocked!
[14:54] Shinpachi
Oh no!
[14:55] ---
That guy is insanely strong! Kondo-san, let's help him!
[15:01] Shinpachi
Kondo-san!
[15:03] Kondo
Sorry. Please don't assist him.
[15:06] Shinpachi
What...?
[15:07] Kondo
It's hard to hold back when Otae-san is at stake,
[15:10] Kondo
but he hates to lose more than anyone.
[15:12] ---
If you interfere, he'll kill you.
[15:16] Shinpachi
You say he hates to lose, but if this continues, he'll lose anyway!
[15:20] Kondo
Maybe so.
[15:22] ---
But if we assist Toshi, it will mean that I didn't trust him.
[15:27] Kondo
He knows better than anyone that street style sword fighting won't defeat that guy.
[15:32] Kondo
Right, Toshi?
[15:35] Kondo
It happened a long time ago, before we came to Edo,
[15:39] Kondo
when I was still training in our dojo out in the country.
[15:42] Kondo
There was a young thug who went around making a lot of trouble.
[15:45] Kondo
He was a loner with excellent fighting skills.
[15:48] ---
A delinquent who went looking for fights at all the dojos in the area and beat them up.
[15:53] Kondo
The guys at country dojos are all hot-blooded punks.
[15:58] Kondo
They were losing face and decided to join together to beat the guy up.
[16:05] Kondo
They had no Bushido honor of fighting one-on-one.
[16:08] Kondo
Anyway, the kid deserved it. So I went to watch.
[16:13] Kondo
Turns out the kid had balls.
[16:17] Kondo
Even against large numbers, he wasn't a bit intimidated.
[16:19] Kondo
Instead of apologizing,
[16:21] Kondo
he went on a rampage against the large group, taking down one after another.
[16:26] Kondo
Damn was he strong.
[16:31] Kondo
But there was no way he could win against such numbers.
[16:35] Kondo
In the end, he kept fighting until he was beaten to a pulp.
[16:40] Kondo
I debated what to do and then decided to bring him back to my dojo.
[16:45] Kondo
He looked like he would've died If I left him there
[16:48] Kondo
and he seemed like an interesting fellow.
[16:52] Young Kondo
333! 334!
[16:58] Young Kondo
I can't do any more. That's my limit. My arms are gonna fall off.
[17:02] Kondo’S Grandfather
Don't give up so easily!
[17:04] Kondo’S Grandfather
At this rate, I'll never be able to pass on the dojo to you!
[17:07] Kondo’S Grandfather
I'll probably die soon. What'll you do then?
[17:10] Young Kondo
What's the point of swinging this heavy log?
[17:13] Young Kondo
My hands are covered with blood blisters!
[17:15] Kondo’S Grandfather
Swordsmanship is not about technique. It's about attitude, fool!
[17:18] ---
Swinging that log improves your sword skill and strengthens your character!
[17:21] ---
It grounds you!
[17:22] ---
Don't swing with your hands.
[17:24] ---
Discipline your breathing and swing with your entire body!
[17:28] Kondo’S Grandfater
Look at Sogo.
[17:29] Kondo’S Grandfater
He's so tiny, but he's swinging that thick log. Isn't he amazing?
[17:33] Kondo’S Grandfather
You are amazing. I knew you had it in you. You are a prodigy.
[17:39] Kondo’S Grandfather
Huh? Is this peeling?
[17:42] Kondo’S Grandfather
This is nothing but tree bark.
[17:45] Young Kondo
Good grief. This is why nobody wants to train here.
[17:49] ---
Huh?
[17:56] Young Kondo
Give it a try?
[18:00] Young Kondo
Maybe not. Not with those injuries.
[18:05] Young Kondo
From what I can tell, you're blessed with natural talent.
[18:08] Young Kondo
You haven't studied under anyone, but your movements and instinct are extraordinary.
[18:14] Young Kondo
But you can't win on talent alone.
[18:16] Young Kondo
In the end, it's the guy who works hard that wins.
[18:23] Young Hijikata
Not interested.
[18:26] Young Hijikata
Nobody becomes a great swordsman by playing with lumber.
[18:30] Young Kondo (M)
He's just a punk, after all.
[18:33] Kondo
But despite his words, he stayed.
[18:37] Kondo
He watched us train like a hungry wolf watching a herd of bacon-wrapped sheep.
[18:42] Kondo
But one day, even though his wounds hadn't fully healed, he disappeared from the dojo.
[18:47] Kondo
I was worried and went looking for him.
[18:49] Punk A
Move, you!
[18:51] Punk A
We're on our way to raid the Kondo dojo!
[18:56] Punk B
We heard they were sheltering you!
[18:59] Punk B
Why'd they do that?!
[19:01] Young Hijikata
That's why I left. They're not involved anymore. Leave them alone.
[19:07] Punk A
You may have nothing to do with them, but we still do!
[19:10] Punk B
Before we beat up the Kondos, we'll kick the crap out of you!
[19:26] Kondo
He had become stronger than before.
[19:29] Kondo
Despite his injuries,
[19:31] Kondo
he possessed a solid framework to his form that hadn't been there before.
[19:37] Kondo
I couldn't just stand by and watch.
[19:44] Kondo
In the end, he and I were the only ones left standing.
[19:46] Kondo
Surrounded by our defeated enemies.
[19:50] Young Hijikata
Why're you here?
[19:52] Young Kono
You can't use our sword style to act like a ruffian.
[19:57] Young Hijikata
When did I ever join your school? And besides, you did a lot of fighting yourself.
[20:03] ---
For crying out loud, What are you, some sort of good Samaritan?
[20:06] Young Hijikata
I was trying to return your favor, but now I owe you again.
[20:10] Young Kondo
You don't owe me anything.
[20:12] ---
Come back and visit us anytime. You're already one of our students.
[20:16] Young Hijikata
Like I said before-when did I ever join your school?
[20:19] Young Kondo
Those hands...
[20:21] Young Kondo
Are the proof.
[20:23] Young Kondo
How many times did you swing it? Even I didn't get that many blisters.
[20:28] Young Kondo
No wonder your injuries were slow to heal.
[20:31] Young Hijikata
These aren't blisters.
[20:33] Young Hijikata
My hand got caught in the automatic door of the Yotsukoshi Department Store.
SIGN [Note: Parody of Mitsukoshi Department Store.]
[20:42] Kondo
That's who Toshiro Hijikata is.
[20:46] Kondo
He never expresses his feelings to anyone.
[20:49] Kondo
And he never shows it on his face.
[20:51] Kondo
But I know...
[20:53] ---
Back then, and now...
[20:56] Kondo
The only thing he cares about is sword fighting.
[21:01] Kitaoji (M)
He's hiding his sword underwater so I can't read where it's coming from.
[21:05] Kitaoji
Nice try!
[21:06] Kitaoji
Do you think that'll work on me now?!
[21:09] Kondo
No one trains harder than him.
[21:11] ---
Certainly,
[21:13] Kondo
compared to the showy sword style of the Yagyu,
[21:15] Kondo
it might be a rough and unpolished country style, but...
[21:19] Kondo
his sharply honed sword skills...
[21:26] Kondo
can slice through steel!
[21:36] Shinpachi
Hijikata-san!
[21:37] Hijikata
Sorry for the wait.
[21:39] Kondo
Toshi, you got beaten by him pretty badly this time.
[21:43] Hijikata
Huh? These aren't from that guy.
[21:51] Hijikata
I got caught in the automatic door of the Marui Department Store.
SIGN [Note: Parody of OIOI Department Store.]
[23:33] Tojo
So Nishino and Kitaoji are both out?
[23:37] Tojo
I wasn't expecting the enemy to do this well.
[23:39] ---
I miscalculated a bit.
[23:41] Tojo
I thought with Kitaoji there, the three of you would be enough...
[23:47] Tojo
Now there are five of them, and we're already down to three...
[23:52] Minamito
Tojo-san, we have four. I'm still in.
[23:56] Minamito
One of the Four Aces: Sui Minamito.
[23:58] ---
I got caught off guard and they roughed me up a bit,
[24:00] ---
but the plate is still intact.
[24:02] ---
Please give me another chance to make up for it.
[24:04] Tojo
Oh, that's right. Then...
[24:09] Tojo
Now there are three.
[24:13] Tojo
Having someone like you around would only disgrace the name of the dojo.
[24:18] Tojo
I, Ayumu Tojo, head of the Four Yagyu Aces will not forgive anyone
[24:21] Tojo
who tarnishes our Young Lord's name.
[24:26] Kondo
The next episode ... "Four Heads are Better than One."
SIGN [Tojo ruthlessly eliminated Minamito. Kyubei finally joins the battle!]
SIGN [Meanwhile, Gintoki and Kondo are engaged in an epic struggle.]