E74 - "The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [Kochikame 30th anniversary in JUMP. This episode is part of the JUMP special promotion.]
SIGN    
SIGN    [Mayuzom appear in Edo?! What's the RYO-II virus?!]
SIGN    [Akimoto Sensei, this is a belated happy 30th anniversary.]
SIGN    ["The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts"]
[01:50] Narration
    The strange incident started in Kabukicho, where desire churns...
[01:55] Narration
    There's a snack house on the outskirts of the downtown area...
[01:57] Narration
    And the person who works there...
[02:01] Gintoki
    Hey, Catherine...
[02:03] Gintok
    Your eyebrows are on their way to becoming a unibrow. Take care of it.
[02:07] Catherine
    Huh? Seriously?
[02:10] Narration
    ...It all started with one hostess.
[02:12] Catherine
    I'll shave them. Excuse me.
[02:14] Kagura
    Don't expose us to something disgusting so early in the morning. Die, you.
[02:18] Catherine
    You die.
[02:19] Kagura
    You die more.
[02:20] Gintoki
    She's definitely the type who gets a white film around her mouth after drinking milk.
[02:25] Shinpachi
    Ah, I know what you mean. A person who doesn't care if she has a milk mustache.
[02:30] Gintoki
    An attractive woman is born with a different type of pores.
[02:33] Gintoki
    If you have hair growing between your eyebrows, you can't even be considered a woman.
[02:35] Ketsuno
    This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting from the site of an accident in the center of Kabukicho.
SIGN    
[02:36] Gintoki
    The only place you can live is in Kameari.
SIGN    [Note: Kameari is an old downtown area of Tokyo where Ryotsu, the main character of the Kochikame anime, works at. Ryotsu has a large unibrow.]
[02:38] Kagura
    Gin-chan, your nose hair is showing.
[02:40] Shinpachi
    There's nowhere for you to live in Snotnose Kingdom.
[02:41] Ketsuno
    Police are investigating whether it is a simple accident or if a crime was committed.
[02:43] Otose
    Uh-oh, I wonder if this accident is in our neighborhood.
[02:46] Gintoki
    Oh, it looks really bad.
[02:48] Otose
    Ah? What are you doing, Catherine?
[02:52] Gintoki
    What's the matter? Did you get too excited and shave off both your eyebrows?
[03:02] Gintoki
    Your eyebrows! Didn't you just go to shave your eyebrows?!
[03:05] Gintoki
    That bridge... You've got the bridge of glory!
[03:11] Otose
    Whoa!
[03:12] Shinpachi
    Isn't she overdoing it a bit?!
[03:12] Otose
    What are you doing?!
[03:14] Gintoki
    Leave her alone.
[03:15] Gintoki
    She probably got all stressed out from that old hag's daily harassment.
[03:19] Gintoki
    It's better to let it all out, little by little, rather than bottle it up inside.
[03:22] Shinpachi
    But it doesn't look like "little by little."
[03:24] ---
    Otose-san, are you all right?
[03:30] Gintoki
    O-Old hag... You...
[03:37] Shinpachi
    Gin-san! Wh-Wh-What was that?! Their eyebrows! Their eyebrows!
[03:42] Shinpachi
    Their eyebrows turned into unibrows and they went berserk!
[03:45] Gintoki
    I have no idea! Don't ask me!
[03:46] Shinpachi
    Ah! There's a taxi!
[03:48] Shinpachi
    Excuse me! Please let us in! Excuse me!
[03:51] Shinpachi
    We're being pursued by freaks with strange eyebrows! Please open! Plea...
[03:58] Gintoki
    Oh yeah!
[04:02] Gintoki
    Tsk. What the hell is going on?!
[04:07] Announcement
    Emergency alert! Emergency alert! This is for all residents of Kabukicho.
[04:12] Announcement
    From this point on, leaving your home or Kabukicho is prohibited.
[04:16] Announcement
    Anyone out in the open, please immediately go inside the nearest building.
[04:20] Announcement
    Please do not approach anyone with a unibrow.
[04:24] Announcement
    They're very dangerous.
[04:25] Announcement
    Anyone whose eyebrows are about to merge: Please shave immediately. Repeat...
[04:30] Reporter A
    Who are these people whose eyebrows have become unibrows?
[04:33] Reporter B
    Isn't that a riot?
[04:34] Reporter C
    It looks like they're increasing at a furious pace.
[04:37] Reporter C
    It's said to be a strange disease and once infected...
[04:40] Matsudaira
    It's under investigation.
[04:41] Reporter A
    We heard that Kabukicho will be placed under martial law and completely sealed off.
[04:45] Matsudaira
    It's under investigation.
[04:47] Reporter B
    That means...you've practically given up on the residents?
[04:50] Matsudaira
    It's under investigation.
[04:52] Reporter C
    This year marks the 30th anniversary of Kochikame.
[04:54] Reporter C
    Is the anniversary related to this case?
[04:56] Matsudaira
    It's the 31st anniversary.
[05:00] Mayuzom
    LaSalle...
SIGN    [Note: LaSalle Ishii is the voice actor for the unibrowed character, Ryotsu, of the Kochikame anime.]
[05:01] Kagura
    No. Everyone has unibrows here, too.
[05:04] Gintoki
    Tsk. Oh, well... This way.
[05:10] Katsura
    Put your hands behind your back and show me your eyebrows.
[05:14] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san.
[05:15] Katsura
    Oh, it's you guys...
[05:17] Shinpachi
    Hang on, Katsura-san.
[05:19] Katsura
    It looks like your eyebrows haven't fused together yet.
[05:23] Katsura
    Let me tell you that it's useless to go in that direction.
[05:26] Katsura
    Nothing awaits you beyond there but hell.
[05:28] ---
    I barely broke through, but ended up like this.
[05:31] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san, your flashback doesn't look right.
[05:33] Shinpachi
    Any way I look at it, it appears you fell down and hurt yourself.
[05:36] Katsura
    Throwing out the trash while wearing sandals was a mistake. Damn!
[05:40] Shinpachi
    What do you mean "Damn"?
[05:42] Shinpachi
    You got those wounds just from throwing out the trash? Isn't that from your attackers?!
[05:45] Katsura
    Kitchen garbage smells really disgusting, so... Damn.
[05:48] Kagura
    Zura, it's about time you threw out your head, too.
[05:52] Gintoki
    Zura, who are they anyway?
[05:54] Katsura
    I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura. I don't know, either.
[05:57] Katsura
    All I know is, people whose eyebrows turn into unibrows lose all self-control,
[06:01] Katsura
    form mobs, and attack people.
[06:03] Katsura
    And anyone caught by them grows a unibrow and goes berserk too.
[06:07] Katsura
    Their high infection rates have increased their numbers in a frighteningly short time.
[06:11] Katsura
    It's like Western zombies...
[06:14] Katsura
    Eyebrow zombies... How about we name them Mayuzom?
[06:17] Gintoki
    Shut up.
[06:18] Gintoki
    Scum.
[06:18] Katsura
    They're not scum. They're Mayuzom.
[06:20] Gintoki
    It looks like we're the only sane ones left in Kabukicho.
[06:24] Gintoki
    Is there any way to survive, Kasura?
SIGN    [Note: Kasura is word play for Katsura and Kasu means scum.]
[06:27] Katsura
    They're not Kasura. They're Mayuzom!
[06:30] Gintoki
    Damn it! The Mayuzom found us...
[06:34] Katsura
    A-hem.
[06:35] Gintoki
    Why are you smiling?! You piss me off!
[06:40] Katsura
    Gintoki! I'll never forget it! You said it!
[06:43] Katsura
    You said "Mayuzom"! Now we can call them "Mayuzom"!
[06:45] Gintoki
    No way! I won't let things go the way you want!
[06:48] Shinpachi
    This is not the time to argue about that! We're surrounded!
[06:53] Hasegawa
    Hey, over here.
[07:01] Kagura
    We're saved.
[07:02] Shinpachi
    Thank you so much. You saved our necks.
[07:06] Hasegawa
    No problem.
[07:09] Shinpachi
    Hasegawa-san!
[07:11] Shinpachi
    That's great! There're other survivors besides us!
[07:14] Hasegawa
    I live in this pachinko parlor for my part-time job.
[07:17] Hasegawa
    I was just able to escape any danger by hiding.
[07:22] Shinpachi
    Hase...gawa-san.
[07:25] Hasegawa
    But I was badly wounded by them.
[07:27] Hasegawa
    I'll be a hindrance to you guys. Hurry up and get out of here.
[07:32] Hasegawa
    I guess I'm on the brink of geezerhood.
[07:33] ---
    I was done in by those guys.
[07:36] Manager
    Hasegawa, you'll die.
[07:38] Shinpachi
    Who is that?!
[07:39] Shinpachi
    That has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation!
[07:42] Hasegawa
    He's the store manager. I overslept, so I was scolded.
[07:45] Shinpachi
    What kind of store manager is that?
[07:46] Shinpachi
    What's with those guys in the background?!
[07:47] Hasegawa
    Damn it! If I hadn't been wearing sandals, I could've run faster...
[07:51] Shinpachi
    Enough with the sandals!
[07:52] Shinpachi
    You guys aren't even related to the Mayuzom and yet you're close to dying!
[07:57] Katsura (M)
    He just said "Mayuzom."
[07:59] ---
    A-hem.
[08:00] Gintoki
    Don't smile! You're so annoying!
[08:03] Shinpachi
    They've pretty much overrun most of the town.
[08:06] Shinpachi
    Even if we keep hiding here, we're just waiting for our eyebrows to change.
[08:09] Shinpachi
    Let's move forward instead of just sitting here.
[08:12] Sachan
    We can consider moving forward, but I wonder where "forward" is?
[08:18] Shinpachi
    Sachan-san! You survived, too?!
[08:21] Sachan
    Look over there.
[08:23] Shinpachi
    Ah, that is...!
[08:25] Shinpachi
    A crowd of Mayuzom is heading towards us!
[08:27] Katsura
    That's bad!
[08:28] Katsura
    As things are, we won't be able to take a single step out of the pachinko parlor!
[08:31] Katsura
    But why does it look as if they're being drawn into the pachinko parlor?!
[08:35] Sachan
    Because the parlor has new machines today.
[08:37] Katsura
    New machines?! No kidding?
[08:39] Katsura
    You're saying that's the reason why Mayuzom came here? I thought that only works for old men.
[08:42] Sachan
    That's right! They are old men.
[08:45] Sachan
    And they gather at other places, too.
[08:48] Sachan
    Like gambling halls and horse racetracks and they get crew cuts at the barbershop.
[08:50] Sachan
    Those are the places commonly favored by old men.
[08:53] Sachan
    The moment their eyebrows merged together, they became old men.
[09:00] Sachan
    Because of RYO-II!
[09:01] Katsura
    RYO-II?! RYO-II! You said RYO-II?!
[09:06] Katsura
    No way! RYO-II! Why?!
[09:09] Katsura
    Eh? Really RYO-II?! Are you sure it's RYO-II?!
[09:11] Shinpachi
    How many times are you going to say that?!
[09:13] Sachan
    I infiltrated Kabukicho,
[09:14] Sachan
    which has become an isolated island under martial law ordered by Lord Matsudaira.
[09:19] Sachan
    But I never thought RYO-II would be involved.
[09:21] Sachan
    I thought RYO-II wasn't related to this. There's no way RYO-II was...
[09:25] Shinpachi
    That's enough. It's too much.
[09:26] Shinpachi
    You're drawing it out too much. What's RYO-II?
[09:28] Sachan
    RYO-II is...
[09:30] ---
    ...a hellish biological weapon used by the Marukome tribe during the Anderance Wars.
SIGN    [Note: Marukome is the name of a Japanese miso soup paste producer whose logo is a small boy with a bald head. Anderance is a wig company equivalent to a Men's hair club in Japan.]
[09:35] ---
    Their enemies on Shojo Planet looked like monkeys, so taking that into consideration,
[09:39] ---
    a virus was created for use as a rough-and-tumble battle weapon.
[09:44] Sachan
    That means it was a virus developed to affect people with thick hair.
[09:49] Sachan
    The infected grow unibrows.
[09:52] Sachan
    Whether they are women or children, there's no exception... Everyone...
[09:55] Sachan
    ...will become a completely useless old man. It's a hellish weapon.
[10:00] Sachan
    They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
[10:03] Sachan
    And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
[10:07] Sachan
    It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
[10:10] Shinpachi
    That is... I think you're obviously referring to a specific person.
[10:13] Sachan
    Moreover, the virus was designed to only affect people with thick hair,
[10:17] Sachan
    but only after direct contact with an infected subject.
[10:20] Sachan
    Even those who aren't hairy can become infected.
[10:22] Katsura
    Soon, it won't be just Kabukicho... All of Edo...
[10:25] Katsura
    No, the entire Earth will be filled with useless old men. If that happens...
[10:31] Katsura
    Earth...will end!
[10:36] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, can you get a box?
[10:39] Shinpachi
    Okay.
[10:41] Katsura
    Hey... Everybody...
[10:44] Katsura
    I just mentioned that Earth might die out!
[10:46] Katsura
    What kind of response is that?!
[10:48] Gintoki
    Well, you're talking about useless old men, but...
[10:51] Shinpachi
    Right... The tension is...
[10:53] Katsura
    What part of a useless man is bad?
[10:55] Katsura
    Tell me and I'll correct it, one part at a time!
[10:57] Sachan
    It's not just Earth; I'll be affected, too!
[10:59] Sachan
    All your loved ones will become old men!
[11:03] Sachan
    Gin-san, can you endure that?!
[11:05] Gintoki
    Oh, it's working!
[11:06] Gintoki
    Wow, I can see how well the new machine works.
[11:09] Sachan
    It's terrible, terrible. At that time...
[11:11] Sachan
    Was the love we exchanged for each other just a lie?!
[11:15] Manager
    I love you...to death.
SIGN    [Note: From 101th Propose, a TV series from the 90s.]
[11:18] Shinpachi
    Who's that man anyway?! The store manager?!
[11:20] Shinpachi
    Is that the same manager I saw before?!
[11:21] Sachan
    Sandals, right? I knew you were still angry about the sandals!
[11:25] Shinpachi
    I don't care about your sandals!
[11:26] Shinpachi
    I told you to put on your glasses when you meet people!
[11:29] Gintoki
    Ah, you guys are so noisy!
[11:31] Gintoki
    There's no way the Earth will die out because of something like that.
[11:33] Gintoki
    This is just like a passing cold.
[11:35] Gintoki
    Everyone will get their stylish eyebrows back tomorrow.
[11:39] Gintoki
    Fortunately, this place has special glass doors, so they won't be able to get in.
[11:43] Gintoki
    So, until someone comes to rescue us, let's hide out in here.
[11:45] Gintoki
    There's food used for pachinko gifts...
[11:53] Kagurakagura
    I'm pregnant.
[11:55] Shinpachi
    The food's all gone.
[11:57] Gintoki
    D-Don't worry.
[11:59] Gintoki
    We'll be okay if we don't eat anything for a day.
[12:01] Gintoki
    Ah, I have chocolate. Does anybody want some?
[12:04] Gintoki
    Well, eat it, but just a little. Don't get that serious.
[12:09] Gintoki
    It's not like the devil is coming-
[12:33] Shinpachi
    The devil...is here...
[12:49] Ketsuno
    This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting.
SIGN    [Kabukicho First Street]
[12:50] Ketsuno
    I'm in front of Kabukicho, where a mysterious virus is spreading.
[12:55] Ketsuno
    As you can see,
[12:56] Ketsuno
    all the roads into Kabukicho have been blocked by martial law.
[13:02] Ketsuno
    What exactly might the situation be in town?
[13:04] Ketsuno
    If you become infected, your eyebrows turn into a unibrow and you go berserk.
[13:08] Ketsuno
    It has not been confirmed, but according to our sources,
[13:11] Ketsuno
    all residents of the town have already become infected.
[13:13] Ketsuno
    We're worried about the safety of all residents.
[13:15] Ketsuno
    What will happen to Edo?!
[13:18] Subordinatea
    This is the truck that was involved in that accident in Kabukicho this morning.
[13:23] Subordinatea
    The virus was detected in the packages.
[13:25] Subordinatea
    And the driver and other crewmembers are missing.
SIGN    [Happy 30th Anniversary, Kochikame.]
[13:28] Subordinatea
    A note seeming to claim responsibility was found in the truck.
[13:31] Subordinatea
    It most likely was the work of an Anti-Foreigner Faction samurai.
[13:34] Matsudaira
    Kochikame's 30th anniversary? Are you kidding me?!
[13:37] Matsudaira
    It's the 31st anniversary.
[13:38] Matsudaira
    Do you understand the time lag between a serialized manga in JUMP and the resulting anime?
[13:42] Matsudaira
    Look to the future and the past.
[13:45] Subordinatea
    But Matsudaira-sama... Um...
[13:47] Subordinatea
    Please ensure that you're properly protected.
[13:48] Subordinatea
    It's not a cold, so you can't repel the virus wearing just that.
[13:52] Matsudaira
    Idiot!! You think wearing that kind of equipment protects you from the virus?!
[13:56] Matsudaira
    Don't underestimate the virus!
[13:58] Subordinatea
    I'm sorry!
[13:59] Matsudaira
    Listen up!
[14:00] Matsudaira
    When you get home, don't forget to gargle and wash your hands!
[14:04] Subordinatea
    Don't underestimate the virus!
[14:09] Shinpachi
    No... No way...
[14:12] Shinpachi
    My sis...
[14:14] Shinpachi
    My sister's eyebrows!
[14:16] Shinpachi
    Sis! How could this happen before you get married?!
[14:20] Shinpachi
    Come on! It's me! Me!
[14:22] Katsura
    It's useless, Shinpachi-kun. Give it up!
[14:24] Katsura
    She's completely infected by the RYO-II virus.
[14:27] Katsura
    Your sister is no longer your sister, but an old man.
[14:30] Katsura
    And look at that cup-sake and cheese-kama.
SIGN    [Note: Cup-sake is sake sold in a cup. Cheese-kama is a stick snack made of cheese and fish paste.]
[14:33] Katsura
    She has already been set up as the "big old man" by the other old men.
[14:38] Katsura
    Not good... She's issuing instructions!
[14:40] Katsura
    Those guys! Do they have that kind of intelligence?!
[14:43] Katsura
    Sign? Is that a sign? Have a drink? How does that sound?
[14:48] Shinpachi
    What kind of instructions are those?!
[14:49] Shinpachi
    Even her instructions sound like they're coming from an old man! Sis!
[14:50] Mz
    LaSalle!
[14:52] Katsura
    Not good...they're coming!
[14:54] All
    Whoa!
[14:55] Hasegawa
    Over here! Hurry, this way!
[14:58] Hasegawa
    This place is no longer safe!
[15:00] ---
    The roof! Let's go up to the roof and wait for rescue!
[15:03] Hasegawa
    This strong door should hold out for a while.
[15:05] ---
    Huh?!
[15:11] Hasegawa
    The strongest! The strongest Mayuzom has been established!
[15:15] Sachan
    Here comes the elevator! Hurry, get over here!
[15:24] Shinpachi
    We're saved.
[15:25] Sachan
    Is everyone all right? Is everyone here?
[15:28] Gintoki
    One, two, three, four, five, six...
[15:31] ---
    Yeah, we're all right.
[15:33] Shinpachi
    No, wait a minute. Six people?
[15:35] Shinpachi
    Can you count again?
[15:37] Gintoki
    What? It's all right.
[15:39] Gintoki
    Me...
[15:40] ---
    You...
[15:41] ---
    Kagura...
[15:42] ---
    Zura...
[15:42] ---
    Sachan...
[15:43] ---
    Hasegawa-san.
[15:44] Gintoki
    See, six people.
[15:45] Shinpachi
    Hold on!
[15:47] Shinpachi
    Ha-Hasegawa-san...
[15:48] ---
    These are...
[15:49] ---
    ...his sunglasses!
[15:50] Gintoki
    That's right. Hasegawa-san has a pair of sunglasses.
[15:52] Shinpachi
    That's not what I meant.
[15:53] Shinpachi
    I said that only Hasegawa-san's sunglasses are left!
[15:55] Kagura
    That's right. Madao only have sunglasses.
[15:57] Shinpachi
    We must have left him on the first floor!
[15:58] Shinpachi
    That's not good! We should hurry and go down and save him!
[16:01] Kagura
    No way. If we go back now, we'll just become their prey.
[16:05] Kagura
    I don't want eyebrows like that.
[16:07] Gintoki
    Think about it carefully. This is...really... Hasegawa-san, right?
[16:12] Shinpachi
    In every single aspect, it's a pair of dirty sunglasses!
[16:14] Gintoki
    No, no. Don't refuse to face reality. Think about it carefully.
[16:17] Gintoki
    Between this thing and the goateed guy left on the first floor... Really...
[16:21] Gintoki
    Which is the real Hasegawa-san?
[16:23] Shinpachi
    You're the one who needs to face reality!
[16:25] Kagura
    The thing on the first floor is just a sunglasses stand.
[16:28] Shinpachi
    What's a sunglasses stand?!
[16:29] Kagura
    It's a rod used for holding sunglasses.
[16:32] Shinpachi
    That thing? You can use a hook!
[16:34] Kagura
    It's the hook with a goatee.
[16:36] ---
    The real one is here.
[16:38] ---
    Right, Madao?
[16:39] Katsura
    Yes, Leader!
[16:40] Shinpachi
    You, shut up! You piss me off!
[16:43] Sachan
    Shinpachi-kun,
[16:44] Sachan
    since early times, questions have been raised about where the human heart is.
[16:49] Sachan
    Is the human heart in the chest? Or in the brain?
[16:52] Sachan
    I don't think either is right... It's definitely in the sunglasses-
[16:55] Shinpachi
    Don't you guys have any heart?!
[16:56] Shinpachi
    We were saved by Hasegawa-san!
[16:59] Shinpachi
    That's it! I'm not going to ask someone who has no heart like you anymore!
[17:03] Shinpachi
    Let me off on the first floor.
[17:06] Shinpachi
    Huh? The third floor? Hey! I said let me off on the first floor.
[17:10] Sachan
    I don't know. I just pushed the button for the roof.
[17:13] Shinpachi
    Then why did it stop?
[17:15] Gintoki
    You know, there's someone waiting for the elevator on the third floor.
[17:20] All
    Eh...
[17:21] Gintoki
    Don't let it open! Close it! They'll get in.
[17:29] Gintoki
    You bastard! What are you doing here?!
[17:32] Gintoki
    Don't frighten us like that! I'll kill you!
[17:34] Katsura
    Elizabeth!
[17:35] Katsura
    I wondered why I couldn't find you, but you were here. Are you all right?!
[17:39] Katsura
    Huh?
[17:40] Katsura
    Hasegawa-san!
[17:41] Katsura
    Don't tell me you saved Hasegawa-san...
[17:45] Katsura
    Great job, Elizabeth!
[17:46] Shinpachi
    Awesome! That's awesome, Elizabeth-san!
[17:48] Gintoki
    What's with this guy? Why is he so blank-faced all the time?!
[17:51] Shinpachi
    But how were you able to get through that Mayuzom mob?
[17:56] Shinpachi
    Ah! I got it! Eyebrows!
[17:58] Shinpachi
    When I think about it, Elizabeth has no eyebrows!
[18:00] Katsura
    I see! If you have no eyebrows, there's no way they can merge together.
[18:04] Katsura
    That is, Elizabeth has no fear of becoming a Mayuzom.
[18:08] Katsura
    It's so encouraging! It's like we have an invincible fleet!
[18:12] Katsura
    I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth! From now on, you'll lead the van!
SIGN    [Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.] [Note: "n" looks like a unibrow.]
[18:18] Katsura
    You've got a big mouth.
[18:20] Katsura
    Huh? You made a mistake writing the "n."
[18:24] Katsura
    What a troublesome guy. I'll teach you how to read and write again sometime soon.
SIGN    [Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.]
[18:42] Shinpachi
    Gin-san.
[18:43] Gintoki
    Don't say anything. Don't let his death be in vain.
[18:45] Gintoki
    We'll do whatever we need to survive.
[18:48] Shinpachi
    Well, that's not what I mean, Hasegawa-san...
[18:51] Shinpachi
    Elizabeth bringing him here means...
[18:56] Shinpachi
    Just as I thought! Hasegawa-san was infected!
[18:58] Sachan
    Everyone!
[18:59] Sachan
    Shave off his unibrow. That's the only way to beat Mayuzom!
[19:03] Gintoki
    Hey, what about you?
[19:11] Gintoki
    Well...Sorry, but my hand was just... I'm sorry, Hasegawa-san.
[19:15] Kagura
    What are you doing?!
[19:17] Kagura
    You're holding back because you know him. That's why your aim was off!
[19:20] Kagura
    You should go all out!
[19:23] Gintoki
    You're going too far! You took off too much. Where are you aiming?!
[19:27] Shinpachi
    Hasegawa-san! What should we do about that?!
[19:30] Shinpachi
    Even if he returns to normal, he won't be able to go out in public!
[19:32] Sachan
    What are you guys doing?!
[19:34] Sachan
    If it takes more than one blow, Hasegawa-san will suffer! I'll do it!
[19:41] Shinpachi
    Wh-Why?! Why me?! What the hell are you doing?!
[19:45] Sachan
    I'm sorry, my glasses...
SIGN    [ROOF]
[19:51] Shinpachi
    Will this be all right? It'll be back to normal by next week, right?
[19:54] Gintoki
    I don't know; it depends on our anime staff.
[19:57] Shinpachi
    Damn! They're coming from the front, too!
[20:04] Gintoki
    Defend it at all costs!
[20:05] ---
    Defend this door at all costs!
[20:07] Shinpachi
    That's...!
[20:10] Matsudaira
    Sachan, great job! Leave the rest to me!
[20:14] Sachan
    Lord Matsudaira?! It's Lord Matsudaira!
[20:17] Matsudaira
    There's nothing to worry about. I brought enough food.
[20:21] Gintoki
    Do we look like we need food? Assess the situation, old man!
[20:24] Matsudaira
    This should last you a week.
[20:27] Gintoki
    Hey! Thanks to your stupidity, the food splattered!
[20:30] Matsudaira
    Because you looked into the virus, we were able to prepare a vaccine to combat it.
[20:35] Matsudaira
    It's the only vaccine that can counter the RYO-II virus.
[20:40] Matsudaira
    B-super5963!!
SIGN    [Note: B-super5963 is a word play meaning "Thank you, Bucho."]
SIGN    [Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).]
[20:43] Matsudaira
    Everything will be resolved when I use this Bakamon cannon
SIGN    [Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).] [BA KA MON]
[20:46] Matsudaira
    to spread the vaccine into the sky above Kabukicho!
[20:49] Matsudaira
    Those useless old men will all be purged.
[20:52] Matsudaira
    Huh?
[20:54] Subordinatea
    Matsudaira-sama, what's the matter?
[20:57] Subordinatea
    Matsudaira-sama...
[20:59] ---
    Matsudaira-sama!
[21:03] Subordinatea
    That's why I told you to put your mask on!
[21:13] ---
    LaSalle!
[21:24] Shinpachi (M)
    As my consciousness fades away amongst the heavy odor of old men...
[21:28] Shinpachi (M)
    I see it.
[21:30] Shinpachi (M)
    Yes. When I think about it, that guy...
[21:33] Sachan
    They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
[21:36] Sachan
    And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
[21:39] Sachan
    It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
[21:43] Shinpachi (M)
    ...meets all the requirements.
[21:46] Shinpachi (M)
    While his friends had fallen and changed, that man was standing.
[21:53] Shinpachi (M)
    Despite the fact that the enemy was closing in, that man was still standing.
[21:57] Shinpachi (M)
    Probably the only one left standing in Kabukicho...
[22:05] Gintoki
    BAKAMON!!
[22:14] Shinpachi (M)
    Because...
[22:16] Shinpachi (M)
    He was already a useless old man.
[22:21] Shinpachi (M)
    On that day, there was a dirty fireworks display in the sky over Kabukicho.
SIGN    [Kochikame, Banzai]
[22:26] Shinpachi (M)
    Banzai to a useless old man.
[22:28] Shinpachi (M)
    A useless old man who is sometimes useful.
[22:39] Hasegawa
    It's sad... It's so sad that tears are streaming from my eyes.
SIGN    
SIGN    Well, the next Kochikame special is, Ryo-san's...
[24:19] Gintoki
    Hey, wait! What are you doing?! This is GinTama!
[24:23] Ryo-San
    Come on, it's all right, just a little bit...!
[24:25] Gintoki
    The next episode... "Don't Complain About Your Job At Home, Do It Somewhere Else."
[24:29] Ryo-San
    Thank you.
SIGN    [After overcoming all kinds of troubles, the second year goes by without a hitch.]
SIGN    [Or so it seemed, but for the GinTama anime, a new problem must be tackled!]
[1:00:16] ---
    Kameari Defense Corps.