E67 - "For the Wind Is the Life"
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN [First, "My Amanto Idea" contest. The winner is Noriko Mach.]
SIGN [Gintoki tripped on his scooter in the opening and brought it to Gengai for repair...]
[00:11] Gintoki
Oh, you fixed it up good as new.
[00:14] ---
You're amazing.
[00:15] Gengai
Piece o' cake!
SIGN [Mechanic's Shop]
[00:16] ---
Who do you think I am?
[00:18] Gintoki
A wanted criminal.
[00:19] Gengai
You enjoy pecking at a man's wounds, huh?
[00:22] Gintoki
I'm just kidding.
[00:23] ---
I'm getting you back for pecking at my scooter's wounds.
[00:26] ---
Thought I'd dig into your wounds too...
[00:27] Gengai
I was repairing it!!
[00:28] Gintoki
Thanks a lot, old man.
[00:30] Gintoki
Just the kind of work I'd expect from Edo's number one mechanic, Gengai Hiraga.
[00:33] Gengai
I'm glad you realize that.
[00:35] ---
So about the payment...
[00:36] Gintoki
Well, if anything pops up again, I'll be counting on you, Doc. Mechanics.
SIGN [Note: Spoof of manga Yoroshiku Mechadoc (Mechanical Doctor).]
[00:39] Gengai
Now about the bill...
[00:41] Gintoki
See'ya.
[00:43] Gengai
Um...the bill...
[00:48] ---
Damn you, old man!
[00:49] ---
You tampered with it, didn't you?
[00:50] Gengai
When the money gives out, so does the love.
[01:00] Gengai
Hey! You all right?
[01:02] Gengai
What the hell are you doing, involving innocent bystanders?
[01:05] Gintoki
If you hadn't booby-trapped my tire, this wouldn't have happened!
[01:08] Gengai
You okay, Miss?
[01:09] Noriko
I'm fine.
[01:11] ---
It was a minor collision.
[01:12] Gintoki
You're fine?!
[01:13] ---
But you're covered with blood!
[01:15] Noriko
No, I'm really okay.
[01:16] ---
I really do need to keep going.
[01:18] Gengai
Going where?
[01:19] ---
Are you nuts?! No way, no way!
[01:20] ---
The only place you're going is to the morgue!!
[01:23] Gengai
Hang in there!
[01:24] Noriko
My scooter...
[01:25] ---
Just hurry up and give me a scooter.
[01:27] ---
I...If I don't keep riding... If I can't feel the wind...
[01:31] ---
I'll die...
[01:35] Gintoki
What's with her?
SIGN ["For the Wind Is the Life"]
[01:43] Gengai
Noriko Mach.
[01:45] ---
Born on Planet Highspeed.
[01:46] Occupation
Occupation: Express Messenger.
[01:47] Gengai
I've heard rumors about them, but I had no idea such an obnoxious clan actually existed.
[01:52] Noriko
Don't talk about us like that.
[01:54] ---
We are the noble people of the wind. We're honorable wind spirits!
[01:58] ---
We are delicate, nymph-like beings that have to
[02:01] ---
feel the wind at all times or we lose our bodies.
[02:05] Gintoki
So what are you saying?
[02:06] ---
That you have to keep running all the time?!
[02:08] ---
Kinda like sharks that die if they're not constantly swimming?
[02:11] Noriko
No, as long as we're riding any form of locomotion like a scooter that allows us to feel the wind.
[02:15] ---
Running on my own is a bit tiring.
[02:18] Gintoki
Go run on your own!
[02:20] ---
Why the hell do I have to be your scooter?
[02:22] Noriko
I...I'm in pain.
[02:23] ---
I'm sorry, but can you go a little faster?
[02:25] Gintoki
Who do you think is in the most pain here?
[02:27] Gengai
We can't make an injured girl run.
[02:31] ---
I'm almost done fixing your scooter.
[02:33] Norkio
I'm sorry for causing trouble.
[02:35] ---
Since I can't do anything, I'll sing "Sarai."
SIGN [Note: A famous song written for the TV show "24 hour TV, Love will Save the Earth." It lasts 24 hours and the song is sung at the end.]
[02:38] Gintoki
So you want me to keep running for 24 hours?
[02:40] Noriko
Um, could you fix that piece of junk later and repair mine first?
[02:45] ---
I have to go to work...
[02:46] Gintoki
Hey, what do you mean, "piece of junk"?
[02:48] Gengai
Your scooter was seriously wrecked, so it's going to take longer to fix.
[02:51] ---
Why don't you take his scooter instead?
[02:52] Gintoki
What do you mean, "instead"?
[02:54] ---
That's my scooter, you know.
[02:56] Gintoki
But can you ride a scooter with those injuries?
[02:59] Noriko
Yes, I can.
[03:00] ---
There are people waiting for me to deliver their packages.
[03:03] Noriko
Besides, this is my first job on Earth.
[03:07] ---
Someone like me can't get a decent job.
[03:10] ---
This is the only thing I can do.
[03:13] Noriko
I have to make this work!
[03:16] ---
I swore to myself that I would become the best express messenger in the entire cosmos!
[03:19] Noriko
Please put me down!
[03:20] ---
I don't have time to be fooling around here.
[03:23] Gintoki
You're the one who wanted the piggyback ride.
[03:26] Noriko
I don't have time to hang out with slackers like you!
[03:28] ---
Hurry, let me down-
[03:32] Noriko
I'm sorry.
[03:33] Noriko
I didn't mean to make you help me with my job, too...
[03:36] Gintoki
That's okay.
[03:37] ---
When you think about it, it was my fault.
[03:39] Gintoki
So where to first?
[03:41] ---
Let's do this quickly so we can get it over with.
[03:44] Noriko
The wind feels so good!!
[03:46] ---
Try and stop me!!
[03:46] Gintoki
Hey, you listening?
[03:47] ---
Somebody just try and stop me!!
[03:51] Gintoki
What the hell are you doing?!
[03:54] Gintoki
You're an idiot.
[03:55] ---
A complete idiot.
[03:56] Gintoki
Hurry up and get on. This side!
[04:00] Noriko
Don't stop! Don't stop!
[04:02] Gintoki
I can't help it. There's nothing I can do.
[04:03] ---
Just hang in there. We'll be going soon, okay?
[04:05] Noriko
Soon?
[04:06] ---
No! I can't take it anymore!
[04:07] Noriko
I can't stand it!
[04:08] Gintoki
Hey... Watch out...
[04:16] Noriko
This is amazing, Sakata-san!
[04:19] ---
The wind! We've become the wind!
[04:21] Gintoki
W-Wait. No... Time out!
[04:23] ---
I have to get off. Please let me get off.
[04:24] ---
I so did not see this coming!
[04:27] Noriko
What do you mean?!
[04:28] ---
We still haven't even made a single delivery!
[04:31] Gintoki
I know. We haven't made a single delivery and things are already completely out of control!
[04:34] ---
It's like that movie where the teacher tells the students
SIGN [Note: Spoof of "Battle Royale"]
[04:37] ---
to kill each other at their school entrance ceremony!
[04:40] Gintoki
Besides, how are you going to deliver the parcels if you can't even stop?!
[04:43] Noriko
Here we go.
[04:46] Noriko
One down. Next is...
[04:48] Gintoki
You call that delivery?
[04:50] ---
I call it terrorism.
[04:52] ---
The messenger...is late.
[04:54] Zenzo
I'm pretty sure it was supposed to come today.
[04:57] ---
My O-Edo squadron GinTaman action figure set, the JUMP free subscription gift.
[05:01] ---
It's only while supplies last so if I don't get it now then I'll never...
[05:09] ---
Huh? What's all this junk...?
[05:12] Hasegawa
So what do you want from me now?
[05:14] Hasegawa
Calling me like this...
[05:17] ---
You and I have been over for a long time.
[05:19] Hatsu
You don't have to say it like that.
[05:21] Hatsu
I just called because I was worried you weren't eating right...
[05:25] Hasegawa
I don't need to have someone who walked out on me worry about me.
[05:27] ---
I'm hanging up.
[05:28] Hatsu
Wait!
[05:30] Hatsu
Dear...
[05:31] ---
Do you know what today is...?
[05:33] ---
Oh no, never mind.
[05:36] Hasegawa
If you have no business with me, don't call.
[05:39] ---
Bye.
[05:44] Hatsu
Why would he remember...
[05:46] Hatsu
...that today is our wedding anniversary?
[05:48] ---
What am I doing?
[05:50] ---
I'm the one who walked out on him...
[05:52] Noriko
Excuse me! Delivery service!
[05:55] Hatsu
Impossible! Could it be...?
[05:59] Hasegawa
Hatsu...
SIGN [Happy Anniversary]
[06:03] Hasegawa
Here's to our tenth wedding anniversary.
[06:07] Deletedgintoki
So what do you think? We're almost done, right?
[06:09] Noriko
Great! Only one package left.
[06:12] Gintoki
If I may say so myself, we did a pretty good job.
[06:14] ---
We can't help it if some of the parcels were damaged.
[06:17] ---
Yeah, we did a good job.
[06:19] Okita
You in the speeding scooter!
[06:21] ---
Stop immediately!
[06:22] Gintoki
Shut up!
[06:23] ---
If I could stop, I would've done it a long time ago!
[06:25] Norkio
We're going to become the wind.
[06:27] Okita
Huh? Hey Master Gin, what's up?
[06:30] ---
You on a date?
[06:31] Gintoki
Oh, it's you.
[06:32] ---
I'm in a bit of trouble here!
[06:33] ---
Help...
[06:34] Okita
Hey, he's a friend of mine.
[06:35] ---
Let him go.
[06:35] Gintoki
W-Wait. Help me.
[06:37] Okita
Oh yeah, Master, this delivery date of yours looks like fun, but be careful, okay?
[06:41] ---
Lately, there's been some terrorist activity by the exclusionist rebels.
[06:45] Okita
They have been using messengers to deliver their bombs.
[06:48] ---
They have this vicious scheme where they make
[06:51] ---
innocent messengers deliver bombs to embassies and such.
[06:54] Okita
So be careful, okay?
[06:57] ---
See'ya.
[06:59] Gintoki
Noriko, where does that last parcel go to?
[07:03] Noriko
The embassy.
[07:05] Gintoki
Is it making weird noises?
[07:07] Noriko
It's ticking. Like a clock.
[07:10] Gintoki
I see...
[07:12] Noriko
Hey, Sakata-san, what are you doing?
[07:15] ---
If we stop, I'll die!
[07:16] Gintoki
We're gonna die anyway!
[07:17] ---
It's a bomb.
[07:18] ---
That's a bomb!
[07:19] Gintoki
Let's just pull over for a second.
[07:20] ---
We'll just stop for a bit.
[07:21] ---
When I get off the scooter, start running, okay?
[07:23] Noriko
I'm telling you, if we stop, I'll die.
[07:26] Gintoki
Who cares about that anymore?
[07:28] ---
I don't wanna die any more than you!
[07:30] Noriko
So you're going to let me blow up alone?
[07:32] ---
I thought we were partners!
[07:34] ---
Didn't you promise me we'd become the wind together?
[07:36] Gintoki
Like hell I did, you fool!
[07:37] ---
I hear when people die they become the wind anyways.
[07:40] ---
So let's pull over!
[07:41] Noriko
No!
[07:42] ---
I don't want it to be an explosive blast.
[07:43] ---
I prefer a refreshing breeze!
[07:46] Gintoki
It came off!
[07:47] ---
The brake broke off!!
[07:47] Noriko
Hey! The handle!
[07:49] ---
Damn old man, talk about a half-ass repair job.
[07:51] Gengai
Gin, Gin.
[07:53] ---
Come in please.
[07:54] ---
This is Gengai.
[07:55] ---
Come in please.
[07:57] Gintoki
A radio?
[07:58] Gengai
It doesn't seem to be working.
[07:59] ---
I can't hear you so I'm gonna keep talking.
[08:02] Gintoki
That old geezer... If he had the time to install this, then he should've fixed the damn brakes!
[08:06] Gengai
I forgot to warn you about something.
[08:09] Gengai
I should've fixed the brakes instead of installing that radio.
[08:13] Gengai
That's all.
[08:13] Gintoki
It's just a confession!
[08:15] ---
Don't use the radio for stupid stuff like that!
[08:17] Gengai
Knowing you, I'm sure the brakes are already gone.
[08:21] ---
When that happens, you see a red button on the bottom?
[08:24] Gengai
That's an emergency mechanism activation switch.
[08:26] ---
If you push it...
[08:30] Gengai
The rocket booster will kick in and give you a dramatic burst of speed.
[08:34] Gengai
So whatever you do, don't push it.
[08:35] Gintoki
You could've said that part first!!
[08:38] Noriko
The wind!
[08:38] Gintoki
This is no time to be excited!
[08:39] ---
We're the wind!
[08:40] ---
I'll never be able to get off now!
[08:42] ---
What should I do?
[08:42] ---
What should I do?
[08:44] Gintoki
Edo's specialty, the traffic jam!
[08:46] Gintoki
Is this how it ends?
[08:48] Gengai
Gin...
[08:48] ---
Knowing you, you've screwed the pooch and activated the rocket booster.
[08:53] Gengai
When that happens, there's a red button inside the speedometer case...
[08:56] Gintoki
Who the hell cares?!
[08:57] ---
Whatever happens, happens.
[09:02] Gintoki
Old geezer!!
[09:03] ---
Damn it. I'll curse you from the afterlife!
[09:08] Noriko
All right!!
[09:09] ---
Sakata-san, we did it!
[09:11] ---
We're flying!
[09:12] ---
We're flying!
[09:14] Gintoki
Not bad, old man... Not bad.
[09:15] ---
I'm the wind!
[09:17] Noriko
Now we can fly somewhere safe and ditch the bomb.
[09:20] ---
We did it!!
[09:24] Noriko
Oh gosh... This is the first time I've felt such a delicious breeze.
[09:27] Noriko
Thank you, Sakata-san.
[09:29] ---
To tell you the truth... I...didn't think I had the confidence to make it in Edo.
[09:33] Noriko
I may not have it yet, but thanks to you, I feel like I can succeed.
[09:39] ---
Even someone like me can accomplish something if I work really hard.
[09:43] Gintoki
Is that so?
[09:45] ---
You may be right. The wind's not such a bad thing after all...
[09:48] Gengai
Gin...
[09:49] Gengai
Knowing you, you haven't heeded any of my warnings and resorted to the flight feature.
[09:54] Gengai
But let me warn you.
[09:56] ---
That mechanism uses up a lot of energy.
[09:58] ---
Your scooter won't be able to stay airborne for very long.
[10:03] Gengai
It'll probably explode in about a minute.
[10:14] Noriko
Dear Saito-san of Tokyo.
[10:16] Noriko
I do get depressed at times, but I'm doing well.
SIGN [Note: Spoof of "Kiki's Delivery Service".]
[10:22] Noriko
I love this town.
[10:30] ---
Who's the target?
SIGN Heihachiro Kuroda, a doctor at Oedo Hospital.
SIGN [Dango Café]
SIGN Looks like he's involved in organ trafficking.
[10:39] ---
He finds a healthy patient, slits them open and steals their organs.
[10:43] ---
He's a real devil.
[10:45] ---
A devil.
[10:47] ---
Real devils are people like us who kill other people for money.
SIGN That's true.
SIGN Will you become a devil once again to save the weak?
[10:57] Sachan
Only devils can eliminate other devils.
[11:00] Sachan
If I can save others, I'm happy to get a little blood on my hands.
SIGN ["The Ideal Girlfriend Is Always Minami"]
SIGN By the way, I want to ask you something.
SIGN Do you have a boyfriend right now?
[11:21] Sachan
Wh-what?
SIGN It's just that you smell more like a woman these days.
[11:27] Sachan
It's your imagination. What is this? Sexual harassment?
SIGN Whatever you say.
SIGN I've been around people like you for a long time.
SIGN Those who are married or have girlfriends are the ones who end up dead first.
SIGN Once you start developing any feelings for a person, this business will eat you alive.
SIGN [O-Edo Hospital]
[11:44] ---
Be careful your passions don't get the better of you. It could trip you up. Be careful, okay?
[11:51] ---
Gin-san, I'll be okay, right?
[11:54] ---
After all, these feelings for you aren't some fleeting infatuation.
[11:58] Sachan
Lately, all I can think about is you.
[12:01] ---
I can't even concentrate on my work.
[12:02] ---
This is no schoolgirl crush.
[12:04] ---
I'll be fine.
[12:06] ---
Huh? Is it really okay?
[12:08] Sachan
No, it's okay.
[12:09] ---
The important thing is knowing when to turn it on and off.
[12:11] ---
When I work, I'll work to death.
[12:13] ---
And when I love, I'll love to death.
[12:15] ---
That kind of attitude will enrich my life.
[12:17] Head Nurse
Hey, newbie!
[12:18] ---
It's common sense to turn your cell phone off in the hospital!
[12:21] ---
Are you stupid?
[12:22] ---
Turn it off before I turn you off, okay?!
[12:24] ---
I'm sorry, Head Nurse!!
[12:25] Sachan
That's right. It's time to turn off "Sachan the lovestruck pig."
[12:29] ---
And turn on "Sachan the killer".
[12:31] Doctor
Sakata-san, how many times have you been hospitalized already?
[12:34] ---
What is it this time?
[12:35] Gintoki
My scooter exploded and I fell 30 meters into a river.
[12:39] Doctor
They say only death can cure stupidity, but you sure won't die, huh?
[12:43] Gintoki
Doctor, isn't a doctor's job to care for both the patient's body and mind?
[12:47] ---
Mine are both in shreds.
[12:50] ---
"Lovestruck Pig" mode.
[12:51] ---
On!
[12:53] ---
Gin-san!!
[12:57] Gintoki
You're on my legs! You're on my legs!
[12:58] ---
You're stepping on my legs!
[12:59] ---
Gin-san, why? This is...terrible!
[13:01] ---
What happened? Are you okay?
[13:03] ---
Doctor, he's okay, right?
[13:05] ---
Gin-san is going to be okay, right?
[13:07] ---
You'll fix it, right?
[13:08] ---
His hair!
[13:09] Gintoki
So all you care about is the hair?!
[13:10] Doctor
This condition is called "Comedic Post-Explosion Hair".
[13:13] ---
After two or three scenes, it should return to normal like nothing ever happened, so don't worry.
[13:16] ---
No! I want you to fix it in this scene.
[13:19] Head Nurse
Who cares about that?
[13:20] ---
Get back to work, newbie!
[13:22] ---
Your patient's over here!
[13:23] Head Nurse
Okay, time for your medication.
[13:25] ---
Come on, Sarutobi-san, rub the medicine on him.
[13:28] ---
Oh, thank you.
[13:30] ---
It's been killing me since yesterday and I can't stand it...
[13:33] ---
My hemorrhoids.
[13:36] ---
"Killer" mode, on!
[13:40] Gintoki
So what are you doing here?
[13:43] ---
What's going on?
[13:44] ---
You want to know about me, little boy?
[13:47] ---
Then you can't rush it.
[13:48] ---
If you want to get to know a woman, take your time.
[13:50] ---
Gently, one layer at a time...
[13:51] Gintoki
Oh, never mind then.
[13:53] ---
Well, I wasn't quite finished yet.
[13:55] Gintoki
Don't bother. It's too much trouble
[13:58] ---
What am I doing?
[14:00] ---
I said the important thing is knowing when to turn it on and off,
[14:02] ---
but when Gin-san's in front of me, I just go on auto-pig.
[14:05] ---
I must quickly switch over to "Killer" mode.
[14:07] Sachan
Now that I think about it, what's so great about this guy anyway?
[14:10] ---
I like sadistic men who'll brutally ravish me.
[14:13] ---
Who wants a sissy Gin-san that's so...
[14:14] Sachan
Weak...
[14:16] Sachan
Come to think of it,
[14:18] Sachan
Waki-san told me that men can't resist girls who are nice to them when they're down.
[14:22] ---
She also told me they have a weakness for Minami-chan from Touch.
SIGN [Note: Touch is a manga by Mitsuru Adachi. Minami was one of the main female characters]
[14:25] Sachan
"Lovestruck Pig" mode, on!
[14:27] Sachan
Oh come on, Gi-chan. You're always so grumpy.
[14:32] Sachan
If you keep acting like that, I might leave you for another man, okay?
[14:36] Gintoki
Go wherever you want.
[14:38] ---
And while you're out, go buy me JUMP from the store downstairs.
[14:40] ---
I might go to Moscow, okay?
[14:42] ---
I may be Minami-chan, but I may even go north, okay?
SIGN [Note: In Japanese, Minami also means south.]
[14:43] Gintoki
I don't think they sell JUMP in Moscow.
[14:45] Sachan
Actually, I figured hospital food doesn't taste very good...
[14:48] Sachan
Minami... I mean, Sachan brought you some homemade food.
[14:53] ---
You want some?
[14:54] ---
Oh, what should I do? Should I give you some?
[14:57] Gintoki
I'm not sure why, but I feel like punching her lights out.
[15:00] ---
Ta-da!
[15:01] ---
Can you believe, it's oden!
SIGN [Note: Oden is a Japanese Winter dish made from boiled eggs, daikon, konjac gel, fish cakes and other ingredients stewed in a pot.]
[15:04] Gintoki
Ah, hot, hot!
[15:06] ---
Why would you bring a pot of boiling hot oden to someone who can't move?
[15:08] ---
And is that deep-fried tofu?
[15:09] ---
I thought you would be starved for some home cooking, okay?
[15:12] Gintoki
Do you have to keep saying "Okay"?
[15:14] ---
Don't tell the other patients, okay?
[15:16] Zenzo
Oh man, I saw everything.
[15:18] ---
Maybe I'll tell the head nurse?
[15:24] Sachan
Okay, Gi-chan, lie down for a second now, okay?
[15:27] ---
I'm going to change your bandages, okay?
[15:30] Gintoki
It's okay.
[15:31] ---
I just had them changed.
[15:32] Sachan
Oh, come on. Don't be shy, okay?
[15:34] Gintoki
I told you, it's okay.
[15:35] ---
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
[15:36] Sachan
Oh stop, Gi-chan. Don't move, okay?
[15:38] ---
See? You moved...
[15:40] Sachan
...so look what happened, okay?
[15:42] Gintoki
How exactly could I be responsible for that?
[15:43] ---
You tied that bondage harness yourself? Amazing, isn't it?
[15:46] Sachan
I like that part of you that refuses to be tied down, okay?
[15:51] ---
But I am worried about your injuries...
[15:53] Gintoki
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
[15:54] ---
...so I should tie you up, okay?
[15:56] ---
What the hell are you doing?
[15:57] ---
Head Nurse! Help me!
[16:01] Zenzo
Hang on.
[16:02] ---
I'll call the head nurse right now...
[16:06] ---
I'm going to go to the gift shop now.
[16:08] ---
What was it, now?
[16:09] ---
You wanted me to buy Sunday, right?
[16:11] ---
I'll be right back, okay?
[16:15] Gintoki
Have you ever heard of the movie, "Misery?"
[16:18] Gintoki
The injured author who can't move
[16:20] Gintoki
gets crippled by the psychotic caretaker who is supposedly there to take care of him.
[16:22] Zenzo
Man, that was really scary.
[16:24] ---
That lady actress was so believable.
[16:28] Zenzo
W-Wait a sec!
[16:29] ---
Pull the candle out!
[16:31] Gintoki
You pull it out.
[16:32] ---
Why should I do it?
[16:33] ---
I can't do it.
[16:33] ---
It's so painful. If I do it, I'm afraid something important will come out with it!
[16:37] Gintoki
You keeping your hopes and dreams in there?
[16:40] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[16:41] ---
How are you doing?
[16:42] Shinpachi
We've come to cheer you up!!
[16:47] Kagura
Gin-chan, you idiot!
[16:49] Hasegawa
Oh man, our bad.
[16:50] ---
I'll explain that kind of thing to Kagura-chan.
[16:54] Gintoki
No, wait! It's not what you think!
[16:56] ---
I'm not into stuff like that!!
[16:57] ---
What "things"?!
[16:58] Gintoki
What am I gonna do now?
[16:59] ---
Even if I explain it when I get home, it's still gonna be really awkward.
[17:04] Zenzo
Sorry about that.
[17:05] ---
I'll go with you and explain.
[17:06] Gintoki
Forget it! That'll be even more suspicious!
[17:09] ---
Just don't ever stand in the same scene as me again!
[17:10] ---
Well, whatever the case may be, right now...
[17:12] Gintoki
We'd better get the hell outta here.
[17:14] Kuroda
Well, well, if it isn't Sakata-san and Hattori-san.
[17:17] ---
Patients aren't allowed to crawl about unsupervised.
[17:21] ---
This is so much more fun than my real job.
[17:24] ---
Women should live for love and not for work.
[17:27] Sachan
Maybe I'll retire from this gory assassin job and really become a nurse.
[17:32] ---
I'll just be Gin-san's exclusive personal nurse.
[17:34] Nurse A
Did you hear?
[17:35] ---
About Dr. Kuroda?
[17:36] Nurse B
Is it really true?
[17:37] Nurse B
I heard he's involved in organ trade.
[17:40] Nurse C
Yeah, and you know those noisy patients in the hospital right now?
[17:43] Nurse B
Oh yeah, you mean Sakata-san and Hattori-san.
[17:45] Nurse C
Well apparently, they're his next targets.
[17:48] Nurse A
That's not so bad. It'll sure be a lot quieter around here.
[17:51] Sachan
Oh my God! Gin-san!
[17:53] Nurse B
Hey, you!
[17:53] ---
It's all my fault!
[17:55] ---
It's because I was slacking on the job!
SIGN Be careful your passions don't get the better of you.
SIGN It could trip you up. Be careful, okay?
[18:01] Sachan
What am I doing?
[18:03] ---
All this foolish talk about love and being in love...
[18:06] Kuroda
We've done a complete medical workup on both of you
[18:09] Kuroda
and found severe internal problems.
[18:12] Kuroda
Sakata-san, you're at high risk for diabetes yet you continue to eat sweets.
[18:18] Gintoki
Oh yeah, I've gotten to the point where
[18:20] Gintoki
I've decided that I'll live a thick, rich, creamy life, however short.
[18:23] Kuroda
Take a look at this.
[18:24] Gintoki
Never mind already. It's not gonna scare me.
[18:26] ---
I'm used to hearing stuff like that. You can't scare me one bit.
[18:29] Kuroda
If this keeps up, the sugar and urine in your body will become a deadly mix
[18:32] Kuroda
and your testicles will explode.
[18:34] Gintoki
No way!
[18:36] ---
There's...nothing I can do to protect him?
[18:39] ---
Don't tell me I can't even protect the one I care about the most.
[18:42] Kuroda
And as for you, Hattori-san.
[18:43] ---
It seems you came here to treat your hemorrhoids.
[18:46] Zenzo
Yes, as embarrassing as it is, I'll do my best.
[18:49] Kuroda
Well, about that...
[18:51] Kuroda
At the rate you're going...
[18:53] Kuroda
Something...will explode.
[18:55] ---
That's kinda random, isn't it?
[18:58] ---
I don't care about Zenzo.
[19:05] Sachan
God, I really am a totally useless...
[19:10] Sachan
...lovestruck pig.
[19:12] ---
Just a plain ol' lovestruck pig.
[19:14] Sachan
That's not true...
[19:16] ---
I'm not a lovestruck pig...
[19:17] ---
I'm not...a lovestruck pig...
[19:21] Sachan
I'm...
[19:22] ---
I'M!
[19:24] Sachan
Killer mode, ON!
[19:28] Kuroda
What fools.
[19:30] ---
To believe a load of crap like that...
[19:32] ---
What imbeciles!
[19:33] Kuroda
At this rate, your brains are totally useless.
[19:35] Kuroda
But the other organs are exceptional.
[19:38] Kuroda
It'll be better for the world if we give them to people who can put them to good use.
[19:46] Kuroda
Let's begin.
[19:47] ---
Is everything ready?
[19:48] Sachan
Yes.
[19:49] Kuroda
Scalpel.
[19:50] Sachan
Yes.
[19:52] Kuroda
Wh...What do you think you're doing?
[19:52] Assistant A
Doctor!!
[19:53] ---
You!! What the hell are you doing?
[19:56] Sachan
I'm sorry. I dropped my glasses.
[20:00] ---
So I tend to confuse the words "Scalpel" and "Shank".
[20:04] Kuroda
You bitch!
[20:06] ---
Who the hell are you?
[20:07] Sachan
The bells of Gion Temple ring for you...
[20:10] ---
"All is vanity" toll the bells....
SIGN [Note: A famous opening passage from the historical novel, "Tale of Heike".]
[20:12] Kuroda
Wh-What the heck is this?
[20:13] Sachan
The brutal devil...
[20:13] Assistant A
Bandages?
[20:17] Sachan
...delivers a righteous deathblow.
[20:21] Sachan
Take care.
[20:23] Sachan
Assassin Sachan...has arrived!!
[20:29] Sachan
Gin-san!! Gin-san...
[20:31] Sachan
Where are you?
[20:32] ---
Are you all right?
[20:33] Sachan
Gin-san!!
[20:37] Sachan
Thank goodness!
[20:39] ---
I can't see anything without my glasses, but you're okay, right?
[20:42] Sachan
I'm sorry...
[20:44] ---
It's all my fault...
[20:46] Sachan
I...was warned that love would interfere with my work.
[20:52] ---
But I still couldn't get you out of my mind, Gin-san.
[20:55] Sachan
But this is what I think...
[20:58] ---
An assassin who has someone she wants to protect
[21:02] ---
is more motivated than one who has no one.
[21:05] Sachan
That's why, I won't change my ways...
[21:08] ---
And I'll always...
[21:10] Sachan
...keep thinking of you, Gin-san...
[21:14] Sachan
Huh?
[21:18] ---
Killer mode, on!
SIGN The next episode, summer ghost stories...
[22:59] ---
"Like a Haunted House, Life is Filled with Horrors."
SIGN [This year's ghosts will be done by Odd Jobs. It will be thrilling in many ways.]
SIGN [This is Ochi-san, who will risk his life, at the summer festival's Haunted House.]