E52 - If You Want to See Someone, Make an Appo First

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Kahei
    There're things in this world you're better off not knowing about.
SIGN    [Gin-san's illegitimate child is revealed! Or so we thought. The case escalates to the matter of the child being the heir of a wealthy merchant.]
SIGN    [Ofusa, the mother of baby Kanshichiro. Kahei Hashidaya, a truly dangerous man.]
[01:54] Hasegawa
    Excuse me. I...um...have nothing to do with this, so can I go home?
[01:58] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan!
[01:59] Kagura
    How would like your coffee? With sugar or milk?
[02:04] ---
    But coffee tastes best with...
[02:06] ---
    sugar...isn't that right?!
[02:08] Samurai A
    A smokescreen?
[02:09] Kahei
    You, meddling scum!
[02:14] Kahei
    Damn it! The woman! The woman escaped!
[02:18] Kahei
    Search the entrance! She has to be somewhere in this room!
[02:21] Nizo
    A smokescreen... But it won't work against me.
[02:29] Nizo
    There's something different about the airflow. The smoke is flowing out somewhere...
[02:33] ---
    I wonder where...
[02:36] Nizo
    There...
SIGN    ["If You Want to See Someone, Make an Appo First"]
[02:55] Gintoki
    I said I want to meet the president.
[02:59] Receptionest A
    Excuse me, but do you have an "apo"?
SIGN    [Note: Apo is short for appointment in Japan]
[03:02] Gintoki
    What's an "apo"? Oh, you mean that? A kind of fruit from the north?
[03:06] Gintoki
    Does the president like Fuji apples?
[03:08] Receptionest B
    It's not an apple. Why are you saying only certain parts in English?!
[03:10] Gintoki
    Give me a break. "Apo" or Kobo-chan...
SIGN    [Note: Kobo-chan is a four-cell manga on newspaper, like a comic strip.]
[03:14] ---
    I just want to see the president.
[03:17] Kanshichiro
    Apo.
[03:18] Gintoki
    That's right. Nowadays, you can't do anything in Japan without slogging through a mountain of red tape.
[03:26] Gintoki
    Ah! What's Japan coming to?!
[03:32] Receptionist A
    E-Excuse me, but could you please not speak so loud?
[03:36] ---
    Ah?
[03:37] ---
    Wait a minute. That child could be the president's...
[03:41] Receptionist A
    What? What is that?
[03:43] Receptionist B
    Ah! Excuse me, but you can't go in there without permission!
[03:47] Receptionist B
    Please wait!
[03:48] Gintoki
    Apo.
[03:49] Kanshichiro
    Napo.
[03:52] Shinpachi
    Oh, no! We're done for! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[03:57] Hasegawa
    My lungs! My lungs hurt! It's like they're bursting! I've made up my mind!
[04:00] Hasegawa
    From this day forth, I will quit smoking and quit hanging with you guys!
[04:03] ---
    Where's Kagura-chan? She's not here!
[04:11] Shinpachi
    No kidding...
[04:12] Hasegawa
    W-Wait a minute...
[04:14] Shinpachi
    We're still here! We're still here!
[04:17] Hasegawa
    Wait!
[04:29] Hasegawa
    Unbelievable! He's like a monster or something!
[04:31] Shinpachi
    We don't stand a chance against him! Run!!
[04:35] Hasegawa
    All right!
[04:36] Hasegawa
    Well, weren't we already running away in the beginning?
[04:40] Hasegawa
    Damn it!
[04:41] Hasegawa
    Hey!
[04:42] ---
    Are you all right?
[04:46] Shinpachi
    Ah! We're gonna fall!!
[04:54] Samurai A
    What?! They disappeared! Where did they go?!
[04:57] Samurai A
    Damn it! Let's check over there!
[05:03] Ofusa
    Um... Are you all right?
[05:05] Shinpachi
    What a relief! There was another roof underneath.
[05:07] Hasegawa
    Oh, I was so scared I almost wet my pants.
[05:10] Ofusa
    Well, who are you guys?
[05:13] Shinpachi
    It was you, right? The one who left the baby in front of our house?
[05:19] Hasegawa
    N-No kidding...
[05:19] Ofusa
    Huh? So, you guys...
[05:20] Shinpachi
    Don't worry. The baby has been taken into protective custody.
[05:21] Hasegawa
    I'm 38 already ...
[05:24] Ofusa
    Really?! Kanshichiro... Kanshichiro is safe?!
[05:28] Hasegawa
    Oh, I must have gotten this while cleaning! So if I take off my apron...
[05:29] Shinpachi
    Whoa! Hey, hey! Calm down. Please calm down!
[05:33] Shinpachi
    You're the baby's mother, right?
[05:36] Shinpachi
    Can you tell us what happened? I think we have the right to know at least.
[05:48] Ofusa
    I was from a poor family,
[05:51] Ofusa
    So I was sent to work as a servant here at the Hashidaya.
[05:56] Ofusa
    My job was to take care of the master's son, Kantaro-sama, who was sickly and bedridden.
[06:03] Ofusa
    Um... I'm Ofusa... I'm honored to be working for you.
[06:06] Kantaro
    Ah, you're the new servant. Nice to...
[06:14] Ofusa
    Somebody help! Somebody!
[06:17] Ofusa
    Somebody, please!
SIGN    [Surprise!]
[06:20] Kantaro
    Gotcha! That was a surprise!
[06:22] Ofusa
    Somebody help!! Kantaro-sama is... Kantaro-sama is...!
[06:26] Kantaro
    Well...hey...look over here...
[06:27] Ofusa
    Kantaro-sama is dead!
[06:30] Kantaro
    No, I'm not. Hey, over here...
[06:31] Ofusa
    Someone!
[06:33] Kantaro
    Hey! Are you listening to me?!
[06:35] Ofusa
    Kantaro-sama loved to joke around. And he often played tricks on his servants.
[06:43] Ofusa
    But he was also a very kind person, who treated me like a friend.
[06:49] Ofusa
    And I gradually grew attracted to him.
[06:55] Kantaro
    Ofusa, how much longer do I have to stay bedridden?
[07:00] Ofusa
    There you go again. You've been coughing a lot today, so you can't go for a walk.
[07:05] Kantaro
    I know I won't live very long. Well, if I live lazy like this, I might live a bit longer.
[07:13] Ofusa
    The master would be sad to hear you say that.
[07:16] Ofusa
    Master is trying very hard to cure your illness, Kantaro-sama.
[07:21] Kantaro
    That old man just wants me to succeed him to protect his fortune.
[07:28] Kantaro
    Fortune and living a long life... Are they really that important?
[07:32] Ofusa
    It sounds to me like you're being selfish.
[07:37] Ofusa
    It's the selfishness of someone who already has everything.
[07:39] Kantaro
    Maybe so.
[07:41] Kantaro
    If that's the case, I don't need anything.
[07:45] ---
    Let's say...
[07:48] Kantaro
    I'd rather be like a cherry blossom.
[07:50] Ofusa
    Cherry blossom?
[07:53] Ofusa
    Kantaro-sama, but if you turn into a cherry blossom, you'll wither away before spring ends.
[07:59] Kantaro
    That's the way it should be.
[08:01] Kantaro
    They're brilliant and fully bloomed, just like that.
[08:08] Ofusa
    Six months later, Kantaro-sama and I left the house and ran away together.
[08:16] Ofusa
    I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to make Kantaro-sama happy.
[08:22] Ofusa
    We started living together.
[08:25] Ofusa
    Our lives were difficult, but we worked really hard.
[08:29] Ofusa
    Crying and laughing... We were so happy... However...
[08:38] Kahei
    I finally track you down and look at you.
[08:41] Kahei
    If you had stayed home and kept to your bed like I told you to,
[08:43] Kahei
    your illness wouldn't have taken a turn for the worse.
[08:47] Kahei
    You were deceived by that nasty woman.
[08:49] Kahei
    This is all your fault! Anyway, I'm taking Kantaro back home.
[08:55] Ofusa
    Please wait, Master!
[08:56] Kahei
    Shut up!
[09:00] Kahei
    It can't be... You're carrying... Kantaro's...
[09:04] Kahei
    Abort it. If word of this got out, the family name would be tarnished.
[09:16] Ofusa
    After that, Kantaro-sama and I were not allowed to see each other anymore.
[09:23] Ofusa
    Until he passed away...
[09:26] Ofusa
    Then Kanshichiro was born.
[09:29] Ofusa
    I decided to do my best to raise him.
[09:41] Ofusa
    Master!
[09:43] Ofusa
    Master had lost his only son, so he had his eye on Kanshichiro as his heir.
[09:51] Ofusa
    I lost Kantaro-sama,
[09:53] Ofusa
    and I couldn't stand losing Kanshichiro, too.
[09:58] Ofusa
    But they kept chasing me.
[10:01] Ofusa
    And I knew it was only a matter of time before Kanshichiro and I were captured.
[10:14] Ofusa
    I'm sorry, but I'll come back for you...
[10:18] Ofusa
    I'm sorry.
[10:20] ---
    I'm sorry.
[10:27] Ofusa
    Please forgive me...
[10:32] Ofusa
    I feel sorry about what I did. I got you guys involved in this for my own selfish reasons.
[10:35] Hasegawa
    Ofusa-chan, you're a young woman whose had a tough life, huh?
[10:39] Hasegawa
    But it sounds like that bastard Kahei is a real lowlife.
[10:43] Kahei
    That woman is the lowlife.
[10:46] Kahei
    That wench killed my only son.
[10:49] Kahei
    If it weren't for her, my company would be secure.
[10:53] Kahei
    I planned for Kantaro to become my heir and then my life's work would've been complete.
[10:59] Kahei
    But that vulgar, lowborn woman ruined everything.
[11:03] Kahei
    Do you have any idea what I endured for the sake of this company?
[11:08] Kahei
    I groveled in the mud, I hobnobbed with human scum, I even betrayed my own conscience.
[11:15] Kahei
    Can you understand my feelings?!
[11:17] Ofusa
    Kantaro-sama hated that part of you.
[11:20] Ofusa
    Why are you so obsessed with this business? Is it money? Or power?
[11:26] Kahei
    Humph! A woman like you will never understand...
[11:33] Kahei
    A man spends his entire life trying to create a single work of art.
[11:37] Kahei
    Art is infinite in variety, from one person to another and takes on many forms.
[11:41] Kahei
    For me, it's the Hashidaya.
[11:45] Kahei
    No matter what, I have to finish my masterwork.
[11:48] Kahei
    I will sink to any depth to protect it.
[11:51] Kahei
    Go!
[12:04] Gintoki
    Hey, is this the president's office?
[12:07] Kahei
    Wh-What?!
[12:12] Gintoki
    So, this is what...I need to see you, right?
[12:16] Gintoki
    Apo.
[12:18] Kanshichiro
    Napo.
[12:30] Kahei
    What? Bastard! Who the hell are you?!
[12:32] Gintoki
    Huh? Who am I?
[12:34] Gintoki
    That's right. I'm...
[12:36] Gintoki
    ...a babysitting lone wolf.
[12:38] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[12:39] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro!
[12:40] Gintoki
    It seems things have got way more complicated here. Shinpachi, explain it in thirty words or less.
[12:45] Shinpachi
    That's impossible, Gin-san. Why are you here? You explain it in thirty words or less.
[12:51] Gintoki
    Impossible.
[12:52] Hasegawa
    Are you crazy?! Why would you bring the baby into enemy territory?!
[12:56] Gintoki
    What's with you? I just saved your butt.
[13:00] Gintoki
    What are you doing here anyway? In thirty words or less.
[13:04] Hasegawa
    Shut up!
[13:06] Hasegawa
    That old man is trying to steal that kid! His son knocked up the kid's mother.
[13:10] Hasegawa
    And now the old man's knocking her down.
[13:11] Hasegawa
    He wouldn't accept the tyke while his son was alive, but now that his son's dead...
[13:13] Hasegawa
    He wants the kid to become his heir!
[13:17] Gintoki
    Hey, hey. I came here to return the kid, but I guess I'll have to change my plan.
[13:22] Kahei
    This is nonsense! He's my grandson. He's the heir to the Hashidaya. Hand him over.
[13:29] Gintoki
    I really don't care whether I give you to your grandpa or your mother
[13:31] Gintoki
    as long as I'm not stuck with you anymore, but...
[13:34] Gintoki
    Hey, what do you think?
[13:37] Gintoki
    Oh, I see, I see.
[13:41] Gintoki
    Sorry, old man.
[13:43] Gintoki
    He said he'd rather suck momma's flat chest than suck on your hairy old teats.
[13:48] Ofusa
    Please stop! Please stop using such disgusting expressions!
[13:52] Kahde
    Do you think you can outrun us? We've got an ace up our sleeve.
[14:00] Kahei
    Although he's blind, he's a master of Iai.
SIGN    [Note: Iai, as in Iai jutsu, are techniques for drawing a sword.]
[14:04] Kahei
    He's also a master assassin who can kill anyone with one unstoppable blow.
[14:08] Kahei
    His name is Nizo Okada. Otherwise known as...Nizo the butcher.
[14:13] Nizo
    Yo, I knew I'd see you again.
[14:16] Gintoki
    I've seen you before... You were blind?!
[14:20] Nizo
    Both of your hands are free this time. I'm glad. Now we can fight for real.
[14:28] Kahei
    Nizo! As long as we have Kanshichiro, we've won half the battle! Kill them all!
[14:33] Shinpachi
    Gin-san! Be careful! That guy is a master of Iai! So don't let his timing affect you!
SIGN    [Note: Timing is one of the elements of Iai jutsu.]
[14:46] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[14:49] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro!
[14:50] Nizo
    That's not good.
[14:53] Nizo
    You should've held on tighter to your baby.
[14:56] Nizo
    Eh, Mother?
[14:57] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro!
[14:58] Kahei
    Great job, Nizo. That was quick and fearless! I'll just sit back and enjoy the show.
[15:07] Nizo
    I'm sorry, Master... It seems I won't be able to put this guy away as easily as I thought.
[15:13] Nizo
    Sorry, but you'd better take the child and quickly go.
[15:20] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro!
[15:22] Kahei
    Hey, hey! Don't move so much!
[15:23] Kahei
    Wh-What's the matter?! Hey!
[15:26] Gintoki
    Hey, hey. He seems to hate you, doesn't he?!
[15:30] Gintoki
    When he was with me, he was as quiet as a middle school boy on his first date.
[15:36] Gintoki
    Should I teach you how to soothe him?
[15:38] Kahei
    What?!
[15:39] Gintoki
    In general, a grandchild likes his grandpa.
[15:44] Gintoki
    You're not qualified to be his grandpa, are you?
[15:48] Kahei
    Shut up!
[15:49] ---
    Nizo!
[15:50] Kahei
    Go for the kill!
[15:52] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, Kagura, I'll be fine. You go after the kid and the old man.
[15:57] Shinpachi
    But!
[15:58] Gintoki
    Just go!
[15:59] Kagura
    Gin-chan!
[15:59] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[16:01] Gintoki
    Later...
[16:03] Gintoki
    I promise to meet you later.
[16:08] Nizo
    Are you sure? A samurai shouldn't make a promise he can't keep.
[16:14] Gintoki
    No sweat. I'm more dependable than I look.
[16:19] Gintoki
    I'm the type of guy who arrives for a date 30 minutes early.
[16:25] Nizo
    You're such a funny man, just like I thought.
[16:27] Niza
    I lost my eyesight to a disease when I was young.
[16:31] Niza
    But humans are tough creatures.
[16:34] Niza
    The other senses grow more acute to compensate for the loss of vision.
[16:39] Nizo
    Because of that, my nose, ears and intuition have become very sharp.
[16:43] Nizo
    My whole body works as my eye. I see the world more fully than before.
[16:50] Nizo
    Have you ever seen what comes out of a man the moment he dies? I wonder if it's his soul.
[17:00] Nizo
    It's released at the same time I kill a person...
[17:03] Nizo
    And it's such a beautiful color.
[17:06] Nizo
    So I kept chasing it, and people started calling me the butcher.
[17:10] Nizo
    So, what color is your soul?
[17:14] Gintoki
    You... Your eyes are even better than Sankon-san's?
SIGN    [Note: Osuman Youla Sankhon is a Guinean performer on Japanese TV who was known for having exceptional eyesight.]
[17:18] Gintoki
    I don't care if your whole body is your eyeball, or that old man's eyeball.
[17:21] Gintoki
    But I don't need any special powers to see.
[17:24] Gintoki
    I can see... The color of your grimy soul. It's the color of a turd.
[17:29] Gintoki
    The only kind of person who can kill people is a piece of crap
[17:32] Gintoki
    who doesn't even try to understand the feelings of others.
[17:35] Gintoki
    Even if your whole body can see, your soul can't see anything.
[17:39] Nizo
    Want to find out?
[17:41] Gintoki
    Come on. I'll smash your skull into pieces!
[17:53] Nizo
    You asked for it...
[17:56] Nizo
    Was I too fast for you? Now which one of us is blind?
SIGN    [Refreshing Nose]
[18:05] Gintoki
    What's wrong? Did you see an illusion of me dying?
[18:10] Nizo (M)
    I-Impossible! I just killed him, I'm sure of it...
[18:17] Nizo
    Wh-Why?
[18:19] ---
    My sword blade...
[18:20] Gintoki
    Your Iai was quick on the draw. But this time it worked against you.
[18:24] Nizo (M)
    It can't be! His first strike broke my blade?!
[18:29] Nizo (M)
    He was even faster than my speedy Batto jutsu?
SIGN    [Note: Batto jutsu are techniques for drawing a sword. Also called Iai jutsu.]
[18:32] ---
    I thought I cut him, but that was only in my head!
[18:36] Gintoki
    I already told you. Your soul can't see a thing.
[18:41] Gintoki
    A bit more...
[18:42] Gintoki
    You should open your soul and live!
[18:49] Kahei
    S-Stay back! Kanshichiro is my grandson!
[18:53] Kahei
    The Hashidaya is also mine! No one can take them away from me!
[18:56] Ofusa
    You can do whatever you like with the Hashidaya. But that child is my son.
[19:01] Kahei
    Damn you, woman.
[19:04] Kahei
    You took Kantaro away from me and now you're trying to take Kanshichiro and the Hashidaya away, too?
[19:09] Kahei
    H-Hey! Be quiet!
[19:12] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro can hear...
[19:14] Ofusa
    ...what you're saying.
[19:17] Kahei
    Impossible! What can a baby like this understand?
[19:21] Ofusa
    He understands. And he remembers.
[19:24] Ofusa
    All babies do. Especially the memory of being held tenderly...
[19:29] Ofusa
    Kantaro-sama always told me that.
[19:32] Ofusa
    There was an altar covered with flowers and a picture of a beautiful woman...
[19:40] Kahei
    Don't worry... Everything will be all right. We'll survive somehow.
[19:44] Kahei
    We'll be fine...
[19:46] Kahei
    I'll cook the meals and change the diapers...
[19:49] Kahei
    Well, I don't know how to, but I'll change the diapers somehow...
[19:52] Kahei
    So you can go on without a worry.
[19:56] Kahei
    I'll protect Kantaro and the Hashidaya.
[20:02] Ofusa
    Do you think what you're doing would make Kantaro-sama and your wife happy?
[20:07] Kahei
    Kantaro was born sickly.
[20:10] Kahei
    The doctor said he would, at the most, live one-third a normal lifetime.
[20:15] Kahei
    After hearing that, my wife said that we would make him three times happier.
[20:22] Kahei
    Like a cherry blossom--he can live a full life, even if it's short.
[20:31] Kahei
    But I wasn't as clever as my wife.
[20:35] Kahei
    I hired all the doctors I could and raised my son like a bird in a cage.
[20:42] Kahei
    I wanted them alive in any way possible. My wife...
[20:47] Kahei
    And Kantaro...
[20:49] Kahei
    Now, I've lost everything. I couldn't keep any of my promises after all...
[20:59] Ofusa
    You haven't lost everything.
[21:01] Ofusa
    In fact... See?
[21:05] Kahei
    Kanshichiro...
[21:07] Ofusa
    Kanshichiro is my child.
[21:09] Ofusa
    But he's also your grandson.
[21:14] Ofusa
    So the next time you visit my house, it won't be as the master of Hashidaya,
[21:19] Ofusa
    but as a grandfather who loves his grandson.
[21:25] Ofusa
    And we'll have tea and cakes together.
[21:34] Hasegawa
    I guess no one can beat a mother. It's like, "Mothers are strong," huh?
[21:39] Gintoki
    Hey, why are you wearing a diaper? Hey!
[21:43] Ofusa
    So, it's time for us to go home.
[21:46] Ofusa
    Thank you so much for everything. I'll never forget what you did for us.
[21:50] Hasegawa
    Please don't remember me losing my dignity as a person.
[21:57] Gintoki
    How is it? Taste good?
[22:00] Gintoki
    What? The milk isn't good enough for you?
[22:03] Gintoki
    Hey, hey. It's a hundred years too early for you.
[22:06] Gintoki
    You can start drinking sake after you at least grow some hair in a few places.
[22:09] Gintoki
    Yeah... When you're a little older...
[22:13] ---
    ...and if you still remember me.
[22:16] Gintoki
    Come see me sometime. I'd be glad to have a drink with you.
[22:21] Gintoki
    Yes, you have my word. A samurai doesn't make a promise he can't keep.
[22:25] Gintoki
    Well, laugh a lot and cry a lot and grow up quick.
[22:31] Gintoki
    I'll be waiting.
[22:33] Hasegawa
    Yeah, yeah.
[22:35] ---
    What's the matter?
[22:36] Ofusa
    Oh, my! He's crying so hard! How strange, he hardly ever cries...
[22:45] Gintoki
    Spring is almost over...
SIGN    The next episode... "Stress Makes You Bald, but It's Stressful to Avoid Stress, so You End Up Stressed Out Anyway, so in the End There's Nothing You Can Do."
SIGN    [Serial arson in Edo! Tatsumi, the female firefighter pursues the criminal.]
SIGN    [These brats, who often appear, are Yo-chan and Ken-chan. Kids' annoyance factor is proportional to the length of their hair.]