# E4 - Watch Out! Weekly Shonen Jump Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYX041P7R/watch-out-weekly-shonen-jump-sometimes-comes-out-on-saturdays)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Shinpachi (Mono)**
The land of the samurai.
**[00:03] Shinpachi (Mono)**
There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
**[00:07] Shinpachi (Mono)**
With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space
**[00:10] Shinpachi (Mono)**
and the Sword Ban twenty years ago,
**[00:12] Shinpachi (Mono)**
the samurai class fell into decline.
**[00:15] Shinpachi (Mono)**
In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
**[00:19] Shinpachi (Mono)**
His name is Gintoki Sakata,
**[00:22] Shinpachi (Mono)**
a reckless Jack of All Trades with a sweet tooth.
**[00:25] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shinpachi Shimura, ended up working here.
**[00:29] Shinpachi (Mono)**
What sort of soul does this guy have?
**[00:32] Shinpachi (Mono)**
It's very difficult to tell. I think it's dim but it's definitely shining.
**[02:22] Otose**
Hey! Gintoki!
**[02:24] Otose**
Stop making excuses and pay off your entire rent!
**[02:29] Gintoki**
I fixed your VCR, remember? That oughta be enough to square us!
***SIGN*** [Odd Jobs Gin]
***SIGN*** [Otose Snack House]
**[02:33] Otose**
Not even close! You owe me for five months!
**[02:36] Otose**
And the VCR broke again, so I missed an episode of Onihei Crime Story!
**[02:40] Gintoki**
You idiot, don't give up.
**[02:41] Gintoki**
They'll show it again!
**[02:43] Otose**
Just shut your yap and give me the rent like I asked, you naturally wavy-haired oaf!
**[02:48] Gintoki**
What?!
**[02:49] Gintoki**
You don't understand the suffering that people with naturally wavy hair have to go through!
**[02:51] Otose**
How would I know, moron?!
**[02:53] Otose**
*If you don't have any money,*
**[02:54] Shinpachi**
They're at it again?
**[02:55] Otose**
*then sell your liver or the family jewels or something, you loser!*
**[02:56] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I wonder if it's a good idea to continue to following this man...
**[02:58] Gintoki**
*Shut up about the rent, you dirty old hag!*
**[03:00] Otose**
*You're borrowing money from this dirty old hag. So what does that make you?!*
**[03:01] Shinpachi**
Hold on, you two. Cut it out...
**[03:19] Shinpachi (Mono)**
It's been worrying me lately.
***SIGN*** ["Watch Out! Weekly Shonen JUMP Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!"]
**[03:36] Boss B**
Hey, Inoue, you've been pretty bold lately, haven't you?
**[03:42] Boss A**
Well, I'd like to be bolder, but there are a lot of noisy folks...
**[03:50] Boss B**
Listen. I've got something for you if you slack off on your responsibilities.
**[03:57] Boss B**
Hold back a little. I'm warning you.
**[04:01] Boss A**
I don't understand. What exactly are you saying you got for me?
**[04:06] Boss B**
Know your place, you punch-premed bastard.
**[04:10] Boss B**
Do you know what kind of situation you're in?
**[04:14] Boss A**
I don't expect someone with a crew-cut to know the joys of a punch-perm.
**[04:18] Boss A**
You dopes with the crew cuts should walk on the side of the road.
**[04:22] Boss A**
Then maybe you wouldn't get hurt!
**[04:26] Boss B**
You bastard! You got a problem with crew-cuts?!
**[04:29] Boss A**
Take care of it, master.
**[04:38] Boss A**
You're all dead.
**[05:00] Officer A**
What they did was pretty bold.
**[05:04] Yashichi**
Yeah.
**[05:05] Yachichi**
I don't care what happens to a bunch of hoods.
**[05:09] Yachichi**
But I wonder who crushed them like that.
**[05:21] Gintoki**
Oh crap! JUMP comes out today!
**[05:25] Gintoki**
I forgot, this week JUMP comes out on Saturday.
**[05:28] Gintoki**
Should we turn back?!
**[05:29] Shinpachi**
No, forget it. We've already got the groceries to make sukiyaki.
**[05:32] Gintoki**
This might be a good chance to give it up.
**[05:36] Gintoki**
Reading JUMP at my age...
**[05:41] Gintoki**
But men are always boys at heart until they die.
**[05:44] Shinpachi**
Please keep your embarrassing emotional problems to yourself, okay?
**[05:48] Gintoki**
Look out!
**[05:58] Shinpachi**
You hit her! What're you gonna do about this!
**[06:01] Shinpachi**
You weren't even looking.
**[06:03] Gintoki**
D-D-Don't get worked up.
**[06:05] Gintoki**
Ch-Ch-Chill out and help me find a t-t-t-t-time-time machine.
**[06:07] Shinpachi**
You chill out!
**[06:09] Gintoki**
It should be okay, you know.
**[06:11] Gintoki**
Wake up TV's astrology segment said I'd be lucky this weekend.
**[06:16] Gintoki**
I'm sure that she's miraculously unharmed.
**[06:20] Gintoki**
Hey, young lady...
**[06:23] Gintoki**
Freakin' Wake-up TV!
**[06:25] Gintoki**
Liars! I'm never gonna watch your stupid show again. Damn it!
**[06:28] Gintoki**
But the weather lady sure is pretty hot.
**[06:31] Gintoki**
Hey, how is she?
**[06:34] Shinpachi**
Not even twitching.
**[06:36] Gintoki**
Crap! Gotta get her to a doctor.
**[06:42] Shinpachi**
Hey, what?!
**[07:14] Kagura**
You guys stupid or what?
**[07:16] Kagura**
I'm not going to die just from getting hit by scooter!
**[07:19] Kagura**
This scar's from getting shot by those guys.
**[07:21] Kagura**
Already closed up...see.
**[07:23] Gintoki**
What, do you eat glue with your meals or something?
**[07:26] Gintoki**
Whatever. You seem all right, so we'll be on our way.
**[07:30] Gintoki**
Get well soon.
**[07:34] Gintoki**
Huh? Shinpachi, did you put on some weight?!
**[07:37] Kagura**
How could a grown-up abandon a girl who's being hunted by the yakuza?
**[07:41] Gintoki**
Because, I'm still a boy at heart.
**[07:44] Gintoki**
Besides, in this country we don't call people who can stop a scooter with one hand "girls".
**[07:49] Gintoki**
We call them mountain gorillas.
**[07:52] Member A**
Hey! There they are!
**[07:53] Member A**
Over heeeere--!
**[07:56] Gintoki**
This is bad!
**[07:57] Shinpachi**
Hold on! Who are they?!
**[07:59] Shinpachi**
Demented Yakuza?
**[08:00] Kagura**
What? "Fermented"?
**[08:03] Member B**
Wait!
**[08:08] Gintoki**
Hey! Who are you?! What did you do with your super strength?
**[08:14] Kagura**
I...
**[08:17] Kagura**
I came here from a distant planet.
**[08:20] Kagura**
I heard that I could make money if I came to Edo.
**[08:24] Kagura**
My family is real poor.
***SIGN*** [Rustle]
**[08:27] Kagura**
Furikake seasoning on rice, three meals a day.
**[08:31] Kagura**
I'd like to at least be able to eat raw egg and soy sauce on rice three meals a day.
**[08:35] Shinpachi**
That's not much better.
**[08:37] Kagura**
That's when
**[08:39] Kagura**
they made me an offer.
***SIGN*** [Chazuke]
**[08:47] Boss A**
Care to change your life with mine?
**[08:51] Boss A**
If you do, you'll get sake chazuke three times a day.
**[08:56] Kagura**
I heard that and jumped on it.
**[08:58] Shinpachi**
Why?! Shouldn't you eat three different kinds of meals a day?
**[09:05] Kagura**
I'm sturdy compared to earthlings.
**[09:09] Kagura**
I took their offer.
**[09:12] Kagura**
I ate sake chazuke every day. I was so happy.
***SIGN*** [Soba Shop]
***SIGN*** [Soba]
**[09:23] Kagura**
But lately, my jobs went up the escalator.
**[09:26] Shinpachi**
You mean "escalated."
**[09:27] Kagura**
Finally, they told me to get someone's silver balls.
**[09:32] Shinpachi**
Not "silver balls," just "balls."
**[09:36] Kagura**
I can't take it anymore. Edo is a very scary place.
**[09:39] Kagura**
I want to go home.
**[09:41] Gintoki**
Boy, are you dumb.
**[09:44] Gintoki**
In this country, you can't trust guys with perms and girls in red.
**[09:50] Gintoki**
You got yourself into that world. You need to get yourself out.
**[09:56] Shinpachi**
Hey, wait.
**[09:57] Gintoki**
I wonder if JUMP is still on sale.
**[10:03] Shinpachi**
It's all right. Things will work out.
**[10:07] Shinpachi**
You want to go home, don't you?
**[10:09] Shinpachi**
I'll help you.
**[10:11] Kagura**
You?
**[10:13] Shinpachi**
I may not look it, but I'm a jack-of-all-trades.
**[10:15] Shinpachi**
I'm used to situations like this.
**[10:18] Kagura**
A jack-of-all-trades?
**[10:19] Shinpachi**
I'll do anything you ask. Simply put, I'm a handyman.
**[10:27] Shinpachi**
If you want to leave Earth, you first have to go to a terminal.
**[10:30] Shinpachi**
So, let's go!
**[10:34] Boss A**
You guys idiots or what?! How can it be so hard bringing back one girl?!
**[10:39] Boss A**
You call yourselves gangsters?
**[10:41] Boss A**
Do you think that's fitting for someone with a perm?!
**[10:44] Member C**
But Boss, we're up against a Yato.
**[10:48] Member C**
Even all of us together are no match for...
**[10:51] Boss A**
What are you, retarded?!
**[10:53] Boss A**
That's why we need her!
**[10:55] Boss A**
If we use that monster girl, the Punch Perm Mob can become number one!
**[11:04] Boss A**
She either works for me or she's dead to me.
**[11:10] Boss A**
Kill her.
**[11:12] Boss A**
She'll become a serious threat if she joins a different gang.
**[11:16] Boss A**
It's better to get rid of large useless tools.
**[11:27] Shinpachi**
Ready? Let's go!
**[11:32] Member C**
Hey, there she is!
**[11:34] Member C**
Over there!
**[11:35] Shinpachi**
They're quick! They found us really fast!
**[11:38] Kagura**
You're a useless four-eyes. That's why I said I wanted a helicopter.
**[11:42] Shinpachi**
A helicopter?!
**[11:43] Shinpachi**
You're the one who said that we could outsmart them by going in the front!
**[11:50] Member C**
Wait!
**[11:53] Gintoki**
Umm... Do you have JUMP?
**[11:56] Woman**
We sold out.
**[11:58] Gintoki**
I see...
***SIGN*** [Matsuya]
**[12:04] Kagura**
Do you finally feel like using a helicopter?
**[12:07] Shinpachi**
Well, we don't have that kind of money.
**[12:10] Kagura**
Ah! You weren't kidding.
**[12:13] Kagura**
Hey, over here!
***SIGN*** [Oedo Bookstore]
***SIGN*** [Newest Issues]
**[12:29] Gintoki**
Excuse me, do you have JUMP?
**[12:31] Man**
I have Akamaru.
**[12:33] Gintoki**
Akamaru JUMP?
**[12:41] Kagura**
This stinks!
**[12:43] Shinpachi**
Now's not the time for that. Deal with it!
**[12:45] Shinpachi**
This is bad!
**[12:47] Kagura**
This stinks!
**[12:49] Gintoki**
JUMP...
***SIGN*** [Oedo Mart]
**[12:54] Gintoki**
JUMP...JUMP...J-J-J...
**[13:01] Gintoki**
JUMP...
**[13:06] Gintoki**
JUMP!
**[13:10] Man A**
Lucky me.
**[13:20] Shinpachi**
They really are persistent. How long do they plan on following us?
**[13:25] Kagura**
How did you plan on helping me when you can't even get a helicopter?
**[13:30] Shinpachi**
That's impossible. Even an RC helicopter would be impossible.
**[13:33] Kagura**
Don't make excuses. Get us a helicopter, you good-for-nothing.
**[13:37] Shinpachi**
You're getting mad at me?! I'm helping you. How can you say that?
**[13:42] Kagura**
You're in the way! Don't get cocky!
**[13:44] Kagura**
If you don't have money, then give me some ideas!
**[13:46] Shinpachi**
What's with that?! Your absurd demands were the cause of all this!
**[13:59] Member A**
Damn it. Where the hell did they go?
**[14:01] Member B**
They couldn't have gotten far.
**[14:07] Member A**
All right, that way!
***SIGN*** [Kabukicho]
**[14:19] Shinpachi**
We managed to get this far. Any sign of the perm boys anywhere?
**[14:23] Kagura**
None. It's all right.
**[14:26] Shinpachi**
If you catch the train here, you'll go straight to the terminal.
**[14:29] Shinpachi**
You can go home.
**[14:31] Shinpachi**
Gin really is heartless.
**[14:34] Shinpachi**
Looking for JUMP at a time like this.
**[14:36] Kagura**
It doesn't bother me.
**[14:39] Kagura**
Everyone in Edo is like that.
**[14:42] Kagura**
They're somewhat cold and indifferent towards people.
**[14:45] Kagura**
That's a smart way to live. Busybodies like you are dopes.
**[14:55] Kagura**
In the end, idiots just end up being used.
**[15:01] Kagura**
But I'd rather be a dope.
**[15:04] Kagura**
I really hate you, though.
**[15:06] Shinpachi**
Huh?
**[15:07] Shinpachi**
It sounded like you just said something nasty with perfect grammar!
**[15:10] Kagura**
I hate dorks with glasses.
**[15:12] Shinpachi**
Hey! Your personality's different!
**[15:15] Shinpachi**
What's with that?!
**[15:17] Shinpachi**
I can't do this anymore!
**[15:18] Kagura**
Huh?
**[15:19] Shinpachi**
What's wrong?
**[15:24] Kagura**
I are stuck.
**[15:28] Shinpachi**
No way! Me, too. Oh no! I think I'm gonna cry!
**[15:33] Shinpachi**
The train's leaving! All right, then. Let's roll!
**[15:41] Boss A**
Hey, that's not good... Running onto a train is dangerous.
**[15:45] Boss A**
Too bad, Kagura. You almost got away.
**[15:49] Kagura**
Inoue!
**[15:51] Boss A**
It's terrible of you to run away without saying goodbye. After I treated you so well.
**[15:57] Boss A**
What happened to your money problems?
**[15:59] Boss A**
Are you all right? You wanna go back to a furikake-on-rice lifestyle?
**[16:04] Kagura**
I'm sick of hurting people for money! Nothing tastes good this way!
**[16:09] Kagura**
Even furikake seasoning on rice tastes good after hard, honest work!
**[16:13] Boss A**
That's funny coming from you. Fighting's the only thing you can do.
**[16:17] Boss A**
Isn't that right, Yato clan?
**[16:19] Shinpachi**
Yato clan?
**[16:20] Boss A**
Oh, my. You helped her and didn't even know that?
**[16:25] Boss A**
You've heard of them before, haven't you?
**[16:28] Boss A**
The Yato, the mightiest and nastiest of all the mercenary races.
**[16:32] Boss A**
They don't look all that different from humans, but they boast phenomenal strength.
**[16:37] Boss A**
They've destroyed countless planets.
**[16:39] Boss A**
They're a warrior race that loves to fight.
**[16:43] Boss A**
It seems like you were hiding it,
**[16:45] Boss A**
but the proof is your translucent skin and that umbrella you carry.
**[16:49] Boss A**
The Yato hate sunlight, so they always have their umbrella.
**[16:54] Boss A**
Hey, Kagura!
**[16:55] Boss A**
You've covered your instincts with a paper-thin layer of morals,
**[16:59] Boss A**
but you looked like you were enjoying yourself when you were fighting.
**[17:02] Boss A**
Deep down you for thirst blood. That's your true nature, Kagura.
**[17:06] Kagura**
You're wrong! I...
**[17:08] Kagura**
I...
**[17:10] Kagura (Mono)**
I've traveled around the world and have come to Edo to reinvent myself.
**[17:15] Boss A**
I ask you again, Kagura. There's this bad guy who's picking on us.
**[17:21] Kagura**
Is he really a bad guy?
**[17:23] Boss A**
Yeah, yeah!
**[17:25] Kagura**
I guess I have to.
**[17:27] Kagura**
That's why... That's why I was so foolish.
**[17:34] Kagura**
Chazuke is the best!
**[17:38] Kagura (Mono)**
I believed your words.
**[17:41] Kagura**
I...
**[17:47] Boss A**
You're useless to me if you're not gonna fight.
**[17:50] Boss A**
Ciao!
**[17:52] Shinpachi**
H-Hold on a second! Hey! Station staff!
**[17:58] Shinpachi**
Oh, no way!
**[17:59] Shinpachi**
The set-up is right out of manga!
***SIGN***
**[18:13] Gorilla (Mono)**
Dreams are like trees.
***SIGN*** [Me]
**[18:16] Gorilla (Mono)**
It's more fun to climb them than to watch them.
**[18:22] Gorilla (Mono)**
And there are things you learn when you actually climb them.
**[18:26] Gorilla (Mono)**
I sweat a lot.
***SIGN*** [Voice: Hideaki Sorachi]
***SIGN***
**[18:32] Gorilla**
Fountain pens are crap!
**[18:35] Gorilla**
And it's a pain drawing backgrounds, too!
**[18:38] Gorilla**
Man! It sure is a pain to draw manga.
**[18:41] Gorilla**
Come to think of it, just living is pain too.
**[18:45] Gorilla**
I want to become a cheesecake.
***SIGN*** [Voice: Hideaki Sorachi]
**[18:55] Shinpachi**
Oh, no way! The set-up is right out of manga!
**[19:07] Gintoki**
Nothing but the frigging trouble!
**[19:10] Shinpachi**
Gin!
**[19:12] Gintoki**
Both of you, you'd better suck it up!
**[19:14] Shinpachi**
Huh? H-Hold on!
**[19:18] Shinpachi**
Hold on a second!
**[19:20] Gintoki**
Go!
**[19:31] Boss A**
Wh-What's this?
**[19:33] Member A**
What happened?!
**[19:35] Kagura**
I like to fight.
**[19:40] Kagura**
That is a Yato's true nature. I won't deny it.
**[19:44] Kagura**
But, from now on, I want to fight against that nature.
**[19:51] Kagura**
I'm going to fight so I can change!
**[19:54] Boss A**
Y-You idiot!
**[19:57] Boss A**
All of you! Get 'em!
**[19:59] Boss A**
Huh?
**[20:00] Member A**
I can't do this anymore!
**[20:01] Member A**
Get 'em yourself, you bad punch-permed bastard!
**[20:04] Boss A**
Oh, hey!
**[20:05] Kagura**
Inoue!
**[20:06] Boss A**
Wh-Wh-What is it?!
**[20:08] Kagura**
Do you remember the first thing you told me?
**[20:17] Boss A**
Care to change your life with mine?
**[20:24] Boss A**
Did I say something?
**[20:29] Kagura**
Inoue.
**[20:30] Kagura**
There's something I've wanted to say to you.
**[20:33] Kagura**
That afro isn't a good look for you at all!
**[20:36] Boss A**
This is a punch perm!
**[20:39] Kagura**
Who cares!
***SIGN*** [Weekly Shonen JUMP]
**[20:52] Gintoki**
There's one!
**[20:57] Kagura**
If you were gonna help us, then you should have come with us from the beginning.
**[21:00] Kagura**
I don't understand you. Are you a shy boy?
**[21:04] Gintoki**
I didn't exactly come to help you.
**[21:07] Gintoki**
I was looking for a JUMP, and I just happened to come to the station.
**[21:11] Shinpachi**
Our lives aren't even worth 230 yen?
**[21:16] Gintoki**
The train's here. Get on quick and don't come back, nightmare girl!
**[21:22] Kagura**
Yeah. I'd really like to do that,
**[21:25] Kagura**
but when I think about it, I don't have any money to pay my way home.
**[21:29] Kagura**
So, I'm going to stay here a little longer and save some money.
**[21:32] Kagura**
So, let me work for you.
**[21:37] Gintoki**
Y-You've got to be kidding!
**[21:39] Gintoki**
Why would I hire a girl as violent as you?!
**[21:42] Kagura**
Did you say something?
**[21:44] Kagura**
Not a word.
**[21:47] Shinpachi (Mono)**
So, our work got livelier yet again.
***SIGN*** [Snack House Otose]
**[21:56] Kagura**
Extra helpings?
**[21:58] Otose**
How many bowls do you think you've had? This isn't a restaurant!
**[22:04] Otose**
This is a place that serves drinks and healthy eroticism...
**[22:08] Otose**
It's a snack shop. A haven for old men!
**[22:11] Otose**
If you want to eat, go to a family restaurant and order a kid's meal!
**[22:16] Kagura**
I have no interest in fancy food. Pickles are fine.
**[22:20] Otose**
You've sure got simple taste for such a pig!!
**[22:22] Otose**
Hold up, Gintoki! What's with this girl?
**[22:25] Otose**
She's already had five bowls!
**[22:27] Otose**
Where's she from?!
**[22:29] Shinpachi**
Five, huh? She's still got a lot more to go.
**[22:32] Gintoki**
All we've got left at home is sugar and salt now.
**[22:36] Otose**
What's with them? They're so emaciated.
**[22:44] Otose**
Hey! You're still eating?!
**[22:47] Otose**
Somebody stop her!
***SIGN***
**[24:25] Shinpachi**
We're mistaken for terrorists and are chased by the Shinsengumi.
**[24:29] Shinpachi**
But Gin's friend, Katsura, helps us out.
**[24:32] Gintoki**
Hey, Zura, it's been a while.
**[24:35] Shinpachi**
The next episode...
**[24:35] Shinpachi**
"Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart"
***SIGN*** [These are the Chinese characters for Shinsengumi. Please don't screw them up.]
***SIGN*** [It may seem a bit packed together, but ignore that.]
**[24:50] Gintoki**
Umm... Do you have JUMP?
**[24:53] Woman**
We have Sunday.