E354 - The Evildoers Who Do Good

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Emergency Rescue
SIGN    Defend Kabuki District from the Amanto!
SIGN    Operation: Drain the Pond!
[00:13] Ex
    Gin-san, do your best!
SIGN    Watch Operation: Drain the Pond in a bright
    room and at a safe distance from the TV!!!
[00:15] Gin
    That's a lot of sludge.
[00:17] Kag
    I can't wait to see what kind 
    of alien species we find.
[00:20] Shin
    Uh...
[00:22] Shin
    Hey, guys!
[00:24] Shin
    Gin-san, Kagura-chan!
[00:26] Shin
    What the heck are you doing?!
[00:28] Gin
    Draining the pond.
[00:30] Shin
    Yeah, I can tell!
[00:31] Shin
    It's the Gintama anime's first episode
    of the final arc's second half!
[00:35] Shin
    I'm asking why you're draining a
    pond in such a crucial episode!
[00:39] Kag
    What are you talking about, Shinpachi?
[00:41] Kag
    We've gotta hook the viewers
    with the very first episode!
[00:45] Kag
    Pointless shows about stuff like draining
    ponds tend to have surprisingly good ratings.
[00:50] Kag
    True story!
[00:52] Shin
    Why're you acting like a trailblazer when
    you're just ripping off another show?!
[00:56] Shin
    Get to the actual story!
[00:57] Gin
    Dude, did you even see
    how the first half ended?
[01:00] Gin
    What was that all about?
[01:01] Gin
    A guy who had no screen time
    for an entire cour
[01:04] Gin
    gets a close-up of his smug face, steals
    the spotlight, and that's how it ends?
[01:08] Gin
    We can't do anything but drain a pond now.
[01:10] Shin
    Uh, I don't follow your logic at all!
[01:12] Gin
    You still don't get it, Shinpachi?
[01:14] Gin
    This is intricately linked to the 
    Gintama anime's actual story!
[01:17] Shin
    Huh?
[01:18] Gin
    We earthlings have, until now,
[01:20] Gin
    have just looked on as the Amanto took over
    our towns and did whatever they wanted.
[01:25] Gin
    And now, we've even ended
    up at war with them.
[01:28] Gin
    Unless we weed out the root cause,
[01:30] Gin
    the Kabuki District will never have peace.
[01:34] Gin
    In other words,
[01:35] Gin
    we must get rid of the
    alien species in the pond!
[01:38] Shin
    I don't get it at all!
[01:40] Shin
    You're just riding on the 
    coattails of a hit show!
[01:41] Kag
    Oh, we drained most of
    the water while arguing.
[01:42] Shin
    Isn't that right? Fess up!
[01:44] Gin
    Where are those damn alien species?
[01:46] Kag
    Gin-chan, look!
[01:52] Gin
    Could they be...
[01:54] Gin
    In the first half,
[01:56] Gin
    they were among the characters rushing
    to the Kabuki District's aid!
[02:18] Gin
    Let's begin the second half, shall we?
[02:21] Gin
    Take care of the narration, Pachi-boy.
SIGN    Silver Soul
SIGN    The Story So Far
[02:28] Shin
    The land of the samurai.
[02:30] Shin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
    country was called by that name.
[02:35] Shin
    The Altana Liberation Army was formed
    to end the Tendoshu's galactic rule.
[02:40] Shin
    They invaded Earth with their
    mothership, the Heavenly Bird.
[02:45] Shin
    Despite the overwhelming
    difference in strength,
[02:47] Shin
    we rose up to defend Edo and Earth.
[02:52] Shin
    The Oniwaban,
[02:54] Shin
    the Shinsengumi,
[02:55] Shin
    and countless people who
    love the Kabuki District
[02:57] Shin
    threw themselves headlong
    into a reckless battle.
[03:01] Shin
    In space, Katsura-san, Sakamoto-san,
[03:04] Shin
    and Shogun Tokugawa Nobunobu
    entered negotiations
[03:07] Shin
    and won over Admiral Shijaku,
    one of the Liberation Army's top brass.
[03:12] Shin
    However, things didn't go
    so smoothly after that.
[03:17] Shin
    Dangers assailed us one after another,
[03:19] Shin
    and we sacrificed many things.
[03:22] Shin
    That's when Gengai-san's invention,
    the nanomachine virus,
[03:27] Shin
    rendered useless the weapons
    of the Liberation Army,
[03:29] Shin
    who brought the three great warrior races:
[03:31] Shin
    the Dakini,
[03:32] Shin
    the Shinra,
[03:33] Shin
    and the Yato with them to
    attack the Kabuki District.
[03:37] Shin
    During that desperate back-and-forth battle,
[03:39] Shin
    several people jumped in to help,
[03:42] Shin
    and we somehow managed to force the
    Liberation Army into a temporary retreat.
[03:48] Shin
    But our joy was short-lived.
[03:49] Shin
    Gengai-san was abducted by Yato,
[03:52] Shin
    and over in space, a weapon that could
    obliterate a planet in one shot,
[03:55] Shin
    the Flame of Kagutsuchi, was activated.
[03:57] Shin
    The countdown to Earth's
    destruction had begun.
[04:00] Shin
    Katsura-san's party found
    themselves in grave peril.
[04:02] Shin
    That's when he showed up.
[04:07] Tak
    A weapon of destruction that'll erase Earth?
[04:11] Tak
    Sorry, but it won't get a chance to shine.
[04:17] Tak
    The one to destroy this world
[04:22] Tak
    will be me.
[04:23] G
    Wh-Who is that man?
[04:30] PA
    Intruders in Sector 17!
[04:31] PA
    Head there and provide backup
    at once! I repeat...
[04:36] G
    Prince!
[04:37] G
    Sector 17
[04:38] G
    and Sector 22 have been
    breached by assault ships!
[04:50] G
    D-Don't move!
[04:52] G
    You don't have to be so afraid.
[04:54] G
    Relax.
[04:56] G
    I'm not on the side of anyone here.
[04:59] G
    I won't ally with anyone, either.
[05:03] G
    I'm just...
[05:06] G
    an enemy to the entire universe!
[05:08] G
    Fire!
[05:16] Tak
    Kiheitai!
[05:18] Tak
    Charge!
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Silver Soul
[06:55] (Flashback) Mat
    Could you take me with you?
[06:59] (Flashback) Mat
    I know who you are.
[07:03] (Flashback) Mat
    I know your goals, too.
[07:06] (Flashback) Mat
    I'm the same.
[07:08] (Flashback) Mat
    I've lost everything to war.
[07:11] (Flashback) Mat
    My father, who fought to
    ensure the country's future,
[07:13] (Flashback) Mat
    was arrested and killed
    by that very same country.
[07:16] (Flashback) Mat
    And my mother died as the wife of a sinner.
[07:21] (Flashback) Mat
    As the last one left alive,
[07:24] (Flashback) Mat
    all I can do is avenge my family
    using the gun my father left behind!
[07:30] (Flashback) Mat
    Let me join your quest to
    exact revenge on this country!
[07:34] (Flashback) Mat
    Let me avenge my family!
[07:36] (Flashback) Tak
    In that case,
[07:38] (Flashback) Tak
    shoot yourself in the head with that gun.
[07:43] (Flashback) Tak
    That's the kind of thing I'm trying to do.
[07:49] (Flashback) Tak
    That's what it means to destroy a country.
[07:52] (Flashback) Tak
    It's not too late for you.
[07:54] (Flashback) Tak
    Try and live a smart life.
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    The Evildoers Who Do Good
[08:18] (Flashback) G
    Another Joi Rebel hunt?
[08:20] (Flashback) G
    They're rounding up anyone they don't like.
[08:23] (Flashback) G
    What has the world come to?
[08:27] (Flashback) Ban
    It's a pitiful story.
[08:30] (Flashback) Ban
    I hear countless innocent people
    like her are being imprisoned.
[08:34] (Flashback) Ban
    What are they doing, when they
    have other evildoers to round up?
[08:38] (Flashback) Ban
    Like, for example,
[08:40] (Flashback) Ban
    Takasugi Shinsuke.
[08:43] (Flashback) Ban
    He's one of the Joi Elite Four,
    and he's hiding in this area, it seems.
[08:48] (Flashback) Ban
    That girl was targeted because
    she was seen with him.
[08:53] (Flashback) Tak
    That so?
[08:54] (Flashback) Tak
    From what I've heard, there's another
    big fish swimming these waters.
[09:00] (Flashback) Tak
    I think his name was...
[09:01] (Flashback) Tak
    Kawakami Bansai the Manslayer.
[09:06] (Flashback) Ban
    Never heard of him.
[09:08] (Flashback) Ban
    Either way, that girl was doomed the moment
    she approached one of those villains.
[09:14] (Flashback) Ban
    I shall perform a requiem for her
    so that she may rest in peace.
[09:32] (Flashback) G
    Hey, you!
[09:33] (Flashback) G
    What do you think you're doing?
[09:35] (Flashback) G
    Why do you have a sword?
[09:37] (Flashback) G
    You must be a Joi Rebel!
[09:39] (Flashback) Ban
    Quiet. You're ruining my performance.
[09:41] (Flashback) G
    Say what?
[09:43] (Flashback) G
    You'd better fix your attitude!
[09:46] (Flashback) G
    H-Hey!
[10:08] (Flashback) Ban
    It seems we were set up.
[10:12] (Flashback) Ban
    That girl was bait laid to capture you,
[10:16] (Flashback) Ban
    Takasugi Shinsuke.
[10:18] (Flashback) Tak
    I don't recall falling for their trap.
[10:23] (Flashback) Tak
    You were the one who spurred me on.
[10:26] (Flashback) Ban
    Forgive me. I just wanted to see what
    kind of man the living legend was.
[10:30] (Flashback) Tak
    Well? What kind of man was he?
[10:33] (Flashback) Ban
    It seems he was going around talking
    about destroying the world,
[10:38] (Flashback) Ban
    but if he can't leave a single girl
    to die, it's all merely hot air.
[10:42] (Flashback) Ban
    But I don't mind such idiots.
[10:46] (Flashback) Tak
    Me, either.
[10:49] (Flashback) Tak
    A guy who claimed to turn his back on a
    country that had turned its back on samurai
[10:54] (Flashback) Tak
    and was trying to rescue
    the Joi Rebels in captivity
[10:58] (Flashback) Tak
    now finds himself imprisoned
    because of one girl.
[11:01] (Flashback) Tak
    That's a rare degree of stupidity.
[11:05] (Flashback) Tak
    If you're going to be killed
    by the country anyway,
[11:08] (Flashback) Tak
    why not die for me, Manslayer Bansai?
[11:12] (Flashback) Ban
    You're recruiting in a prison?
[11:15] (Flashback) Ban
    Your stupidity knows no bounds.
[11:18] (Flashback) Ban
    Let me ask you: what will you die for?
[11:22] (Flashback) Tak
    I won't die.
[11:24] (Flashback) Tak
    No matter how many corpses I have to
    walk over, until I trample this country,
[11:29] (Flashback) Tak
    I refuse to die.
[11:33] (Flashback) Ban
    Hardly the words of a man
    due to be executed tomorrow.
[11:37] (Flashback) Ban
    But laying down my life for all
    that hot air doesn't sound too bad.
[11:46] (Flashback) Mat
    Release those men.
[11:49] (Flashback) Hen
    Goodness gracious.
[11:51] (Flashback) Hen
    You've had your life saved twice,
    and you come back for more?
[11:54] (Flashback) Hen
    You mustn't throw away
    your young and fresh body.
[12:00] (Flashback) Hen
    Are you trying to make that man accept you?
[12:03] (Flashback) Mat
    That's not it.
[12:05] (Flashback) Mat
    I just don't want to let him die.
[12:09] (Flashback) Mat
    This country needs him.
[12:12] (Flashback) Mat
    That's all this is about, you lolicon!
[12:15] (Flashback) Hen
    I see.
[12:17] (Flashback) Hen
    Then know that there won't be a third
    time, and that I'm not a lolicon.
[12:21] (Flashback) Hen
    As such, I shall stop
    treating you as a child now.
[12:24] (Flashback) Mat
    Don't move!
[12:28] (Flashback) G
    Kawakami Bansai-dono.
[12:30] (Flashback) G
    Takasugi Shinsuke-dono, yes?
[12:33] (Flashback) Ban
    You all!
[12:34] (Flashback) G
    Everything is ready.
[12:40] (Flashback) Hen
    You can have this back.
[12:42] (Flashback) Hen
    What you need to do isn't
    point that dagger at me.
[12:46] (Flashback) Hen
    Get your revenge with your own hands.
[12:53] (Flashback) Ban
    Did you really win over a bakufu official?
[13:00] (Flashback) Tak
    Beats me.
[13:02] (Flashback) Hen
    No. I had no such intentions until now,
[13:06] (Flashback) Hen
    but I just made up my
    mind at this very moment.
[13:09] (Flashback) Hen
    After all, I'm the same as them...
[13:12] (Flashback) Hen
    A feminist.
[13:15] Hen
    How could this be?
[13:19] Hen
    We hated the world,
[13:20] Hen
    cursed it with every breath,
[13:23] Hen
    and came together to destroy it,
[13:28] Hen
    so why does it look like
    we're trying to save it?
[13:34] Mat
    No, Senpai. Nothing's changed.
[13:38] Mat
    I know that the Kiheitai was
    born to destroy the world...
[13:48] (Flashback) Tak
    Let's go.
[13:51] Mat
    And also that it was born
    to save a nobody like me.
[13:56] Mat
    So it doesn't matter
    which way the dice roll!
[14:00] Mat
    Whether we're fighting the
    country or the universe,
[14:04] Mat
    we'll cut down any rotten fiends in our way!
[14:07] Mat
    That's who Takasugi Shinsuke
    and the Kiheitai are!
[14:17] (Flashback) Gin
    "Win and we're the national
    army, lose and we're rebels"?
[14:21] (Flashback) Gin
    Hey, Zura. We're neither rebels nor losers,
[14:25] (Flashback) Gin
    so how long are they gonna keep mocking us?
[14:28] (Flashback) Gin
    If we want to change classes
    to the national army,
[14:30] (Flashback) Gin
    will we need a Zen Book or something?
[14:34] (Flashback) Kat
    Any group that turns against the
    country is called a rebel army.
[14:38] (Flashback) Kat
    Unless we drive off the Amanto, overturn
    the bakufu, and build a new country,
[14:43] (Flashback) Kat
    we'll never be the national army.
[14:45] (Flashback) Gin
    Sounds like a hell of a broken game.
[14:47] (Flashback) Gin
    Changing classes to Baramos
    the Demon Lord sounds easier.
[14:50] (Flashback) Sak
    Don't worry, Gintoki.
[14:52] (Flashback) Sak
    Even without a Zen Book, players can
    become the national army at level 20.
[14:56] (Flashback) Gin
    That's for sage.
[14:57] (Flashback) Tak
    Only idiots who become the country's
    lapdogs get called national armies, right?
[15:03] (Flashback) Tak
    Or wait...
[15:05] (Flashback) Tak
    Did we have anyone honorable enough
    to fight for the country or its people?
[15:10] (Flashback) Gin
    You moron! Half of the Joi War
    was born out of kindness.
[15:14] (Flashback) Gin
    True, it's not the number one motive.
[15:16] (Flashback) Gin
    But after "I wanna be popular"
    and "I wanna let off some steam,"
[15:19] (Flashback) Gin
    "I love my country" is right there.
[15:20] (Flashback) Tak
    The Joi War was born mostly out of junk!
[15:24] (Flashback) Tak
    What does it matter what they call us?
[15:26] (Flashback) Tak
    We know what we're trying to do.
[15:30] (Flashback) Tak
    Isn't that enough?
[15:32] (Flashback) Tak
    Besides, could you guys really
    cut it in a national army?
[15:35] (Flashback) Tak
    Insurgent.
[15:37] (Flashback) Tak
    Traitor.
[15:38] (Flashback) Tak
    Rebel.
[15:40] (Flashback) Tak
    You've all got your perfect titles already.
[15:43] (Flashback) Gin
    You just like it because
    you're an emo edgelord!
[15:46] (Flashback) Gin
    I mean, you seriously called
    your unit "Kiheitai."
[15:49] (Flashback) Gin
    I wouldn't be able to endure it!
[15:50] (Flashback) Tak
    What's wrong with Kiheitai?
[15:52] (Flashback) Gin
    It's so embarrassing, I'd rather
    call myself Berserk Biker Gang!
[15:56] (Flashback) Tak
    You're the only one gone berserk here.
[15:58] (Flashback) Sak
    No! My dck's going wild, too!
[16:01] (Flashback) Gin
    What the hell are you saying?!
[16:04] (Flashback) Kat
    National army, huh?
[16:06] (Flashback) Kat
    Even if the country is overturned one day,
[16:09] (Flashback) Kat
    we probably won't ever be called that.
[16:28] Sak
    Those monsters are here.
[16:31] Sak
    You sure kept us waitin'.
[16:33] Sak
    But I knew you'd come, Takasugi!
[16:37] Kat
    Did you come back so
    I could cut you in half?!
[16:40] Tak
    I don't mind fighting you guys first.
[16:43] Tak
    I'll eventually have to fight
    the entire universe, anyway.
[16:47] Kat
    After trying to take over the nation,
    you're going to go after the universe?!
[16:51] Tak
    Country or universe, there's no difference.
[16:54] Tak
    Either way, he will
    definitely stand in my way.
[16:58] Tak
    Unless I take him out,
[17:01] Tak
    I can take neither country nor universe!
[17:05] Sak
    Ah, I see.
[17:06] Sak
    As long as that idiot's there,
    Earth is in safe hands.
[17:09] Sak
    We can let loose without worry, eh?
[17:13] Tak
    Wrong.
[17:14] Tak
    That nuisance isn't here,
[17:16] Tak
    so we can take whatever we want.
[17:18] Tak
    I'll do anything I can.
[17:21] Tak
    Be it hope, despair, good,
    evil, friends, or enemies...
[17:26] Tak
    Even if I have to use every last one,
[17:30] Tak
    I'll crush that man.
[17:34] Tak
    That is my purpose in life
    right here, right now.
[17:47] Shi
    Reinforcements?
[17:48] Shi
    Hurry, my friends from Earth!
[17:50] Tak
    Get going.
[17:52] Tak
    I'll stop that weapon.
[17:55] Tak
    You two can have the enemy general's head.
[17:58] Kat
    You...
[17:59] Tak
    While you're at it,
[18:01] Tak
    take care of that general, too.
[18:05] Tak
    Hey.
[18:06] Tak
    I'm glad to see you still have
    a head on your shoulders.
[18:11] Tak
    Sorry I carried you to shogun
    at such a dreadful time.
[18:17] Tak
    I betrayed you, and you
    betrayed me, but rest assured.
[18:22] Tak
    These guys won't betray you or turn their
    backs on you. Not you or this country.
[18:29] Tak
    So you should also...
[18:32] Tak
    Go!
[18:52] Nb
    I know...
[18:55] Nb
    Who it was that offered their help when*
    our country faced its greatest peril.
[19:03] Nb
    Who it was that were called
    rebels and traitors,
[19:06] Nb
    but still fought to protect the country.
[19:13] Nb
    You men were still fighting, weren't you?
[19:18] Nb
    Hear me, those abandoned by the country.
[19:21] Nb
    This country will never again betray you.
[19:27] Nb
    Never again will it cast you aside.
[19:32] Nb
    Shogun Tokugawa Nobunobu and the
    country's crest stand here with you.
[19:40] Nb
    I won't let anyone call you traitors anymore.
[19:42] Nb
    You are our country's pride
    and joy, its national—
[19:45] Kat
    Rebel army is fine.
[19:47] Kat
    We're all right with that.
[19:50] Nb
    Is that so?
[19:52] Nb
    Then I shall join you in
    the rebel army myself.
[19:57] Nb
    This country... This whole planet
[20:01] Nb
    is a rebel army that stands
    up to the universe!
[20:08] Y
    Found it.
[20:13] Y
    Several cylinders inside.
[20:16] Y
    Bring it here at once.
[20:20] Y
    It seems you weren't lying when
    you said you had a countermeasure.
[20:25] Gen
    An inventor's job is to
    create contradictions.
[20:29] Gen
    If we're told to build an unbreakable shield,
[20:32] Gen
    we first build the only unstoppable
    spear that can break it
[20:35] Gen
    before comprehending and
    completing the shield.
[20:38] Y
    In other words, you have a way to destroy
    the nanomachine virus protecting Edo?
[20:46] Gen
    I didn't expect it to end up as a spear
    that'd destroy the world, though.
[20:56] Tak
    How do things look?
[20:57] Hen
    Everything's fine,
[21:00] Hen
    or so I would like to say.
    Our reinforcements are delayed.
[21:05] Hen
    We can only distract the
    enemy for so long...
[21:09] Ban
    Worry not, Takechi.
[21:10] Ban
    They won't be needed here.
[21:13] Mat
    More importantly, Senpai,
[21:14] Mat
    how's the Flame of Kagutsuchi analysis going?
[21:16] Hen
    Everything's fine on that end.
[21:19] Hen
    Even if it's a weapon that can erase a
    planet, it's based on old technology.
[21:24] Hen
    There are exploits we can use.
[21:26] Hen
    However...
[21:28] Hen
    Even if we stop the Flame of Kagutsuchi,
[21:32] Hen
    should Earth yield to its threat
    and take down that barrier,
[21:38] Hen
    everything will have been in vain.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Preview
[23:14] Kag
    Within all the bloodlust on the battlefield,
    I sense one extraordinary presence.
[23:18] Y
    Let me show what a real Yato is like!
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Rabbits Leap Higher
    on Moonlit Nights
SIGN    In space and on Earth,
SIGN    a crucial battle has broken out.
SIGN    Pirates join the fray, too!
SIGN    The rabbits of the night  descend upon the battlefield.