E351 - Jump and Power Creep Go Hand-in-Hand

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:19] (Flashback) Oug
    W-Wait...
[00:23] (Flashback) Oug
    After breaking the code
    and abandoning your crew,
[00:25] (Flashback) Oug
    where are you going to
    live out your life now?
[00:30] (Flashback) Oug
    You're the Dakini's greatest warrior,
    the one hailed as the "Divine Horn."
[00:36] (Flashback) Oug
    Are you really going to leave
    the battlefield forever?
[00:40] (Flashback) Hed
    I'd give away these horns if I could.
[00:45] (Flashback) Hed
    How many planets do you think
    we've turned into wastelands?
[00:49] (Flashback) Hed
    How many lives blooming on those planets
    have we plucked right out of the ground?
[00:54] (Flashback) Hed
    Just as we Dakini were born to fight,
[00:59] (Flashback) Hed
    the lives we plucked out must've been trying
    to bloom for a purpose of their own.
[01:07] (Flashback) Hed
    I now want to see how they live, and what
    kind of flowers they will make bloom.
[01:15] (Flashback) Oug
    I hear you were being treated for a
    parasite you contracted on Planet Kohaku.
[01:22] (Flashback) Oug
    They said it was a parasitic plant
    that takes root in its host's brain,
[01:26] (Flashback) Oug
    and that you changed completely
    as a person ever since.
[01:30] (Flashback) Hed
    I didn't change.
[01:32] (Flashback) Hed
    I bloomed.
[01:35] (Flashback) Hed
    I grew a flower of my own.
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Silver Soul
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Jump and Power Creep 
    Go Hand-in-Hand
SIGN    Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room
    and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[03:43] 73
    Your friends are takin' a nap outside.
[03:48] 73
    You should be careful.
    This town is a bit dangerous.
[03:53] 73
    If you're caught sleepin', you'll
    have everythin' stolen in a flash!
[03:58] Sot
    You fiends!
[04:28] Sot
    We operate under the policy of one for all.
[04:31] Sot
    We would gladly lay down our
    lives for the greater good.
[04:35] Sot
    That's the way of the Shinra.
[04:43] Jir
    I told you...
[04:45] Jir
    We remember how you people kill.
[04:56] Gin
    You're not alone?
[04:58] Jir
    Well, neither are we.
[05:03] Jir
    I guess fighting as a group
    isn't so bad once in a while.
[05:07] Gin
    I dunno. I was this close to skewering
    the annoying ganguro geezer, too.
[05:16] Jir
    Well, too bad about that.
[05:23] G
    Sotatsu-sama!
[05:25] 73
    See that?
[05:26] 73
    This is the power of the
    universe's greatest gangsters,
[05:28] 73
    the Sewer Rats led by Jirocho!
[05:32] 73
    And I'm the Sewer Rats' right-hand man,
[05:35] 73
    the greatest seven-three part in
    the universe, Kurogoma Katsu—
[05:38] Kag
    The universe's greatest gangsters, my ass!
[05:40] Kag
    Our young'uns were the ones who
    took down the enemy's boss!
[05:44] Kag
    We're the universe's greatest
    gangsters, the Odd Jobs Family!
[05:47] Shin
    When did we become gangsters?!
[05:49] Chin
    Besides, you ain't the right hand
    man of the Sewer Rats, Kacchan.
[05:53] Chin
    Jirochon said he'd leave the
    family's future in my hands.
[05:56] 73
    What?!
[05:57] 73
    Why haven't I heard of this?
    What's this about, Jirochon?!
[06:01] Jir
    Who're you calling Jirochon?
[06:02] 73
    Do you have any idea how much I did to
    keep the gang going while you were gone?
[06:06] 73
    Ever since that time, I've
    always thought of you as...
[06:11] 73
    Yes. Back then, I was as sharp as a knife,
    hurting anyone who dared touch me.
[06:17] (Flashback) Jir
    Whoops. Sorry about that.
[06:20] (Flashback) 73
    Hey, hold it right there!
[06:22] (Flashback) 73
    You bump into someone and
    that's all you got to say?
[06:30] (Flashback) 73
    Wh-Who are you?
[06:33] (Flashback) Jir
    Kid, snapping at everyone around you in
    a youthful frenzy is all well and good,
[06:38] (Flashback) Jir
    but let me say just one thing...
[06:42] (Flashback) Jir
    Do we really need a flashback for you?
[06:45] (Flashback) 73
    He rejected my flashback 
    within the flashback!
[06:48] Jir
    I think it went something like that.
[06:50] 73
    Could you not alter my flashback, old man?!
[06:53] 73
    You can't do this after multiple
    flashbacks about your youth!
[06:57] 73
    Anyway, I fell for you back then
    and followed you all this while!
[07:01] 73
    And you're tellin' me to quit right
    after I got the gang back on its feet?!
[07:04] Jir
    I don't remember ever saying
    that in the first place.
[07:08] Jir
    What kind of father would want
    his daughter to be a gangster?
[07:11] Chin
    What? But you said, "I'm sure you
    could handle being the young leader."
[07:14] Jir
    It was a hypothetical statement. I didn't
    tell you to actually take that spot.
[07:17] Chin
    You did, too.
[07:19] Jir
    No, I didn't.
[07:19] Chin
    You did, too!
[07:20] Jir
    No, I didn't.
[07:22] Chin
    But you really did say it...
[07:25] Jir
    Pirako, I can't back down on this.
[07:28] Jir
    If I let you take such halfway measures,
[07:30] Jir
    I'd never hear the end of it from
    your mother, who left you in my care.
[07:34] Jir
    If you're gonna do it, take
    the throne, Boss Pirarin.
[07:37] Jir
    Jirochon will be yakuza
    association chairman.
[07:39] Chin
    Hooray!
[07:40] 73
    That's what you meant by halfway?!
[07:42] Jir
    Aren't you glad, Katsuo?
[07:43] Jir
    Now you'll forever be the right-hand
    man—halfway to the top.
[07:46] 73
    I never said I wanted to be the
    right-hand man of the Pirarin Family!
[07:49] 73
    There's a limit to bein' a doting father!
[07:51] 73
    Young Miss, when will the Jirocho
    we know and love return to us?
[07:54] Chin
    Not Young Miss, Kacchan.
    That's "Boss" to you.
[07:58] Chin
    What will I do with you?
[07:59] Chin
    I'll let you off with five
    chopped fingers this time.
[08:01] Chin
    It'll be ten each from next time.
[08:03] 73
    How many fingers do you think I have?!
[08:05] Gin
    Good grief. I really should've skewered him.
[08:09] Gin
    If this keeps up, even if we
    chase off the Liberation Army,
[08:12] Gin
    this town still won't ever be peaceful.
[08:16] Jir
    Do you think this town
    will calm down once I die?
[08:20] Jir
    You'll still be here after I'm gone.
[08:23] Jir
    And those guys will still
    be here after you're gone.
[08:28] Jir
    Those brash kids who only feel
[08:32] Jir
    truly alive within the hustle and bustle.
[08:38] (Flashback) Jir
    Tatsugoro...
[08:41] (Flashback) Jir
    This ain't your place to die.
[08:46] (Flashback) Jir
    Let's go back together, Tatsugoro,
[08:49] (Flashback) Jir
    to our town.
[08:53] (Flashback) Tsgr
    But if we walk this slowly, she'll
    become a gran by the time we get back.
[08:59] (Flashback) Tsgr
    But I guess that ain't too bad.
[09:03] (Flashback) Tsgr
    That's the one thing I want
    to see most right now.
[09:12] (Flashback) Tsgr
    Jirocho...
[09:14] (Flashback) Tsgr
    What kind of town do you
    think our home will become?
[09:21] (Flashback) Tsgr
    What kind of geezers and
    grans will you become,
[09:25] (Flashback) Tsgr
    and what kind of youngsters
    will gather there?
[09:32] (Flashback) Jir
    Knowing us, we'll be stubborn geezers
    lecturing youngsters who can't stand us.
[09:41] (Flashback) Tsgr
    That sounds amazing.
[09:44] (Flashback) Tsgr
    I want to hurry up and lecture some kids.
[09:48] (Flashback) Jir
    Yeah, I can't wait, either.
[10:32] Oug
    The first was that man.
[10:35] Oug
    And I used my broken horn as
    motivation to grow much stronger.
[10:41] Oug
    So why have I had a horn broken once again?
[10:49] Oug
    Why are we once again...
[11:01] Oug
    running in fear from these apes like so?
[11:09] Oug
    And it isn't just us.
[11:14] Oug
    The head?!
[11:19] Oug
    Retreat!
[11:22] Tsu
    Don't let them escape!
[11:25] Oug
    What are these people?
[11:29] Oug
    How are they driving back proud
    warrior races one after the other?
[11:34] (Flashback) Hed
    The lives we plucked out must've been trying
    to bloom for a purpose of their own.
[11:43] Oug
    What were they born for,
    and what are they living for?
[11:47] Oug
    What is the name of the flower
    these Earthlings are growing?
[11:52] Jir
    They're finally falling apart.
[11:55] Jir
    But unless we do something
    about their main force,
[11:59] Jir
    we'll still be in a desperate situation.
[12:02] Jir
    If they regroup with the main
    force, that's it for us.
[12:05] Jir
    What we did would amount to nothing more
    than sticking a needle into an elephant.
[12:09] Gin
    Sure, one needle isn't enough
    to defeat an elephant.
[12:12] Gin
    But if it were tipped with poison,
    it'd soon spread throughout that huge body
[12:17] Gin
    and render the elephant immobile.
[12:19] Gin
    Fear is contagious, you know?
SIGN    Kabuki District First
[12:23] Gin
    If they wanna get out of this town, let them.
[12:27] Gin
    But...
[12:33] Gin
    Only after we've laced them
    with the poison known as fear!
[12:38] Sai
    Pako?
[12:39] Gin
    Our visitors will be leaving, Mama.
[12:43] Gin
    They had their fair share of fun in our town.
[12:47] Gin
    Right down to their butt hair, we'll...
[12:48] Kag
    ...fleece them for everything they've got!
[12:55] G
    N-No way!
[12:57] G
    The last mercenary group came back
    with their tails between their legs!
[12:59] G
    It's not just here!
[13:01] G
    Even at the West Gate...
[13:04] G
    and the South Gate!
[13:07] Jir
    I've gotten in on quite the gamble.
[13:10] Jir
    Opening all the gates to
    drive out the enemies inside
[13:14] Jir
    and using that momentum to make the
    main Liberation Army force withdraw?
[13:18] Jir
    But who knows if we'll be able to make
    that huge force sense impending defeat?
[13:24] Jir
    I'm a gangster, and even I wouldn't
    make such a reckless gamble.
[13:28] Bim
    But maybe the only one capable of doing
    something as absurd as saving the world
[13:32] Bim
    is a huge moron who could doom the
    world to destruction with one misstep.
[13:40] Gin
    Run!
[13:42] Gin
    Keep running forward until you
    can't see any enemies up ahead!
[13:45] Gin
    Squeeze out every last
    ounce of energy you have!
[13:48] Gin
    Burn everything you have,
    and leave nothing behind!
[13:50] Gin
    Keep running until you're running on empty!
[13:56] Oug
    Your enemy is that way.
[14:00] Oug
    If you still want to withdraw,
    then I'll take you on.
[14:07] Oug
    Fight, you small fry!
[14:15] Shin
    With one roar, he revived
    their fighting spirit!
[14:19] Shin
    Their fear of us was overwritten
    by an even greater fear!
[14:25] Oug
    I am a Dakini. One who was born to
    fight, and one who lives to fight.
[14:31] Oug
    There is nothing I fear.
[14:33] Oug
    If there were something, I would simply
    pluck it out with my own hands.
[14:42] Oug
    Hey, you. Didn't you hear me?
[14:49] Oug
    Anyone who flees here has to answer to me.
[14:52] Hed
    I'm terribly sorry.
[14:54] Hed
    I heard a war was about to break out,
    so I was helping everyone evacuate.
[14:58] Hed
    That's why I couldn't get here in time.
[15:01] Hed
    If only I'd planted you elsewhere sooner...
[15:06] Hed
    I'm so sorry!
[15:10] Oug
    Th-That flower... It can't be!
[15:14] Oug
    The parasite, Parappa Heaven!
[15:17] Oug
    It takes root in its host's head,
    gradually takes over his thoughts,
[15:21] Oug
    and eventually turns their mind into
    an empty, blissful bed of flowers...
[15:25] Oug
    A deadly parasitic plant from Planet Kohaku!
[15:29] (Flashback) Hed
    I bloomed.
[15:32] (Flashback) Hed
    I grew a flower of my own.
[15:37] Oug
    Are you...
[15:38] Oug
    The Dakini's greatest warrior,
    the one who broke my horn...
[15:42] Oug
    The one hailed as the "Divine Horn"...
[15:44] Hed
    I have no idea who you are.
[15:49] Hed
    I'm just a friendly neighborhood florist.
[15:53] Hed
    I love the flowers, the lives,
    that bloom on this planet,
[15:56] Hed
    and to Odd Jobs, I'm...
[16:00] Hed
    Neighbor Hedoro!
[16:03] Hed
    And so, I ask.
[16:05] Hed
    Who was it that trampled upon
    one of this planet's lives?
[16:09] Hed
    Please be honest and raise your hand!
[16:12] Shin
    H-Hedoro-san...
[16:15] Oug
    Get him!
[16:17] Oug
    All hands, defeat this man!
[16:19] Oug
    Break the Divine Horn!
[16:24] Hed
    This won't do.
[16:26] Hed
    I did ask you to be honest
    and raise your hand,
[16:29] Hed
    but I wasn't expecting
    so many of you to do it.
[16:33] Hed
    I wanted the culprit to apologize to
    the flower, but this will take all day.
[16:39] Oug
    Corrupted by the flower, you've lost your
    character and all your fighting skill.
[16:44] Oug
    You don't need those horns anymore!
[16:52] Hed
    But...
[16:55] Hed
    Even if making you all apologize
    is out of the question,
[16:58] Hed
    I think I can manage punishing
    each of you with a punch.
[17:05] Hed
    Now...
[17:09] Hed
    I'd like to get this over with quick,
    so could you all come to me at once?
[17:18] Shin
    H-Hedoro!
[17:21] Shin
    He took out that monster in one hit!
[17:23] Shin
    He threw the Liberation Army
    into the deepest depths of fear!
[17:26] Shin
    The enemy's been consumed by fear
    and is retreating all at once!
[17:29] Shin
    Hedoro-san, you're too scary! You really
    are the scariest one of them all!
[17:39] Shin
    Gin-san! Now's our chance to gang up on them!
[17:42] Shin
    Even these guys are running away!
[17:44] Shin
    Why are you all being consumed by fear, too?!
[17:46] Gin
    Are you stupid?
[17:47] Gin
    If that monster's flower withers, that'll
    mean the advent of a new demon king!
[17:50] Gin
    This final arc was nothing but the prologue
    for Jump's trademark power-creep system!
[17:55] Gin
    I've had it with this! I'm making
    the jump to Shonen Sunday!
[17:57] Shin
    What are you even talking about?!
[18:03] Gedo
    No need to worry, Gintoki-sama.
[18:06] Gedo
    No matter what manner of demons
    or evil monsters show up,
[18:09] Gedo
    Edo has the Ketsuno Clan
    of onmyoji on its side.
[18:16] Kag
    Gedomaru! Ketsuno Ana!
[18:18] Shin
    Wh-Why are you here?
[18:20] Ket
    The Ketsuno Clan was entrusted by
    the bakufu with the guarding of Edo.
[18:25] Ket
    Did you think we only take
    on demons or spirits?
[18:30] Ket
    Tell them, Gedomaru-san.
[18:32] Ged
    I'm late 'cause Satan stubbornly started
    the Third Underworld War with Nurarihyon,
[18:40] Ged
    but I'm now prepared to switch
    from occult to sci-fi.
[18:43] Shin
    Uh, that other thing sounds much more scary!
[18:45] Ged
    From here on, I won't be a
    shikigami of the Ketsuno Clan.
[18:50] Ged
    I'm ready to fight together
    with you all as a human friend.
[18:54] Ged
    So Gintoki-sama, please wipe that
    pathetic look off your face.
[18:59] Ged
    If you still want to withdraw,
[19:06] Ged
    then I'll send you to the same hell I
    sent Satan to. Is that okay with you?
[19:10] Shin
    The bad guy just played
    that same card earlier!
[19:12] Ged
    Fight, you small fry!
[19:15] Shin
    I can't tell which ones
    are the shikigami here!
[19:19] G
    Wh-What the hell is that?
[19:20] G
    They're coming this way!
[19:26] G
    Run for it!
[19:29] Shin
    Wait a damn second!
[19:30] Shin
    Instead of making the enemy retreat, we're
    retreating faster than the enemy here!
[19:34] Kag
    We overtook the enemy!
    We left them in the dust!
[19:37] Gin
    Hey, this is bad! We're gonna
    catch up to the monster up ahead!
[19:40] Shin
    We're sandwiched between monsters!
[19:42] Shin
    What kinda sandwich is this?
    Which earl came up with this thing?!
[19:46] Gin
    Crap! There's nowhere left to run!
[19:49] Ged
    Get going already.
[19:59] Sei
    An illusion technique?
[20:01] Sei
    To make an army that large retreat, we
    can't fight with only what we have on hand.
[20:07] Dou
    You must make your empty hand
    look like it's full of cards
[20:10] Dou
    and borrow the strength of the nonexistent.
[20:13] Dou
    Only con men or we onmyoji
    could pull that off.
[20:18] Sei
    Indeed.
[20:20] Sei
    Con man, I don't intend to
    recognize you as an onmyoji.
[20:24] Dou
    But I will recognize you as
    this country's best con man.
[20:28] Dou
    Even a con man's ability can come
    in handy at a time like this.
[20:33] Sei
    Doman!
[20:34] Dou
    Seimei!
[20:36] Bo
    Throw in everything you've got!
[20:48] G
    Hold your ground!
[20:50] G
    If we retreat any farther,
    the entire force will collapse!
[20:53] G
    We have an overwhelming numbers advantage!
[20:55] G
    Surround the enemy and crush them!
[20:58] G
    Reinforcements will arrive
    soon! Hold out until then!
[21:02] G
    Is it reinforcements?
[21:06] G
    N-No way...
[21:09] G
    There's no way they still have
    so many troops remaining...
[21:12] G
    Hey, look!
[21:18] G
    They keep showing up from everywhere!
[21:20] G
    I-In crazy numbers!
[21:22] G
    Is this it? Are we surrounded?!
[21:25] G
    Calm down! That can't be!
[21:27] G
    How are we supposed to calm down?
[21:29] G
    D-Does that mean we're... we're...
[21:34] G
    Hey, wait!
[21:35] G
    I said wait!
[21:50] Shin
    We did it.
[21:52] Shin
    The Liberation Army...
[21:55] Shin
    ...retreated!
[21:57] Kag
    Gin-chan, we did it!
[22:00] Kag
    W-With this, a little peace will
    return to the Kabuki District.
[22:06] Kag
    Gin-chan?
SIGN    Preview
[23:45] Kag
    Nothing beats peace after all.
[23:48] Jir
    This town is noisy all year round.
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
[23:50] Jir
    Nights like these ain't
    so bad once in a while.
SIGN    Peace and Destruction 
    Are Two Sides of the Same Coin
SIGN    The battle ends, the sun sets,
SIGN    and we jump out of the  frying pan into the fire.
SIGN    Now that the flower's been ripped out,
SIGN    what's going to happen?