E349 - Ogres Are Weak Against Tiny Heroes Like the Inch-High Samurai

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Silver Soul
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Ogres Are Weak Against Tiny Heroes
    Like the Inch-High Samurai
SIGN    Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[01:42] G
    The path! The enemy's interference 
    has split up our force!
[01:49] G
    The squad in the rear is
    being ambushed by the enemy.
[01:52] G
    Shall we go back to help?
[01:54] Dak
    No need.
[01:57] Dak
    It's mere child's play that must be ignored.
[01:59] Dak
    Desperate schemes can't overturn
    the difference in numbers.
[02:03] Dak
    Let's go!
[02:11] Dak
    Oh? I thought it was just
    a ploy to slow us down,
[02:17] Dak
    but they're seriously out to stop us, huh?
[02:23] Cat
    Looks like it's started.
[02:25] Oto
    Are they dividing the enemy
SIGN    Kabuki District
SIGN    Divide
SIGN    Oniwaban
SIGN    Oniwaban
SIGN    Shinsengumi
[02:27] Oto
    and trying to weaken them
    before they get here, perhaps?
SIGN    Kabuki District First
[02:32] Oto
    It's time.
[02:34] Oto
    I hope you're all ready.
[02:38] G
    Detected enemy approach!
[02:43] All
    Let's go!
[02:46] Oto
    Open combat!
[02:54] Shin
    Gin-san?!
[02:56] Shin
    Wait! Time out!
[02:59] Shin
    We're on your side! We're Odd Jobs!
[03:02] Gin
    My eyeball. My eyeball fell out.
[03:03] Gin
    Grab it, please!
[03:06] Tae
    Shin-chan?
[03:07] Tae
    Wait, everyone.
[03:09] Shin
    Sis!
[03:10] Tae
    Thank goodness. You're all okay.
[03:12] Gin
    Do I look okay to you?!
[03:14] Gin
    It's like I've been pounded in
    the head with a barbed-wire bat!
[03:18] Gin
    Apologize to me and Glenn,
    you Walking Violence broad—
[03:22] Shin
    Sis! Can't you hear me asking you to stop?!
[03:24] Gin
    My ball. My ball fell out.
[03:26] Gin
    Grab it, please!
[03:26] Tae
    It's okay. I'm throwing
    these with my bare hands.
[03:28] Kag
    Not picking this one up.
[03:29] Shin
    Like hell it's okay!
[03:31] Tae
    Right now, the Kabuki District
    is an impregnable fortress!
[03:35] Tae
    Stay away if you don't want to get hurt!
[03:38] Shin
    Say that to the enemy, not your allies!
[03:39] Shin
    And how long are you going
    to keep hurling those rocks?
[03:41] Tae
    That's not what I mean! The enemy's
    already there! You need to run!
[03:46] Kag
    Out of the frying pan and into
    the fire! Look for an entrance!
[03:51] Gin
    Who's that kicking my ball?!
[03:53] Tet
    This way, Shinpachi-kun!
[03:55] Shin
    Tetsuko-san!
[03:56] Tet
    Just wait. I'll open up right away.
[03:58] Tet
    Here we go...
[04:00] Tet
    Open, Hell's Gate!
[04:08] Tet
    All right!
[04:08] Shin
    "All right," my ass!
    What the hell is "Hell's Gate"?
[04:11] Tet
    Hell's Gate is a weapon I designed
    that beckons the enemy to hell.
[04:15] Shin
    Don't ask someone to use
    such a dangerous entrance!
[04:19] Tet
    Once you go in, you can never get out.
[04:21] Tet
    It's a weapon that's both an entrance
    and not an entrance at the same time.
[04:23] Shin
    Don't go building such
    misleading pieces of trash!
[04:26] Shin
    Ack!
[04:27] Tet
    There's another entrance over
    there if you want to use it.
[04:29] Shin
    Where?
[04:31] Tet
    Heaven's Gate.
[04:32] Tet
    It's a weapon that beckons enemies to heaven
    and is both an entrance and not an entrance.
[04:36] Shin
    It's the same thing either way!
[04:38] Shin
    Gin-san! I can't!
[04:40] Shin
    There aren't any entrances anywhere!
[04:41] Gin
    Hold up!
[04:42] Shin
    Wait, you're still chasing after your ball?!
[04:44] Ago
    This way, Pako.
[04:45] Gin
    Y-You're...
[04:47] Gin
    A... A-Antonio!
[04:49] Ago
    It's Agomi! You only got the "A" right!
[04:51] Ago
    I'll open up right now. Just wait.
[04:53] Gin
    Th-Thanks!
[04:57] Ago
    You're finally home, Pako.
[04:58] Ago
    Welcome...
[04:59] Ago
    to the Morocco Gate.
[05:01] Shin
    There's an entrance to an entirely
    different world over there!
[05:04] Gin
    Give back my little boy!
[05:06] Gin
    You want money? Because crown jewel?
[05:08] Gin
    I'll arrange money somehow,
[05:09] Gin
    so carefully put my boy in a
    bag and soak it in cold water!
[05:13] Gin
    Please!
[05:15] Shin
    Behind you!
[05:17] Sai
    I don't know if you guys came to
    pluck Earth for yourselves or what,
[05:22] Sai
    but I hope you're prepared to
    have your balls plucked out!
[05:28] Shin
    In the end, that's another Hell's Gate!
[05:30] Shin
    Pull yourself together, Gin-san!
[05:33] Kag
    Hey, Gin-chan! Shinpachi!
[05:36] Kag
    There's an entrance over here!
[05:39] Gin
    Don't be so loud! The enemy will hear you!
[05:41] Shin
    Kagura-chan!
[05:42] Gin
    Kagura!
[05:45] Kag
    Oh? Who might these boys be?
[05:49] Kag
    I don't remember asking for
    these ruffians, Kyoshiro.
[05:53] Kyo
    We're truly sorry, Kagura-sama.
[05:56] Kyo
    Members of the Liberation Army,
    Takamagahara here is a host club,
[06:00] Kyo
    a place to entertain ladies.
[06:02] Kyo
    I'm sorry, but we don't entertain men,
[06:05] Kyo
    especially those who bring
    in such dangerous items.
[06:09] G
    The hell are these guys
    talking about? Get 'em!
[06:12] Kag
    Enough, Kyoshiro.
[06:15] Kag
    If they want in so badly, we just have
    to make them acceptable for entry.
[06:20] Kag
    Five Koronamin Cs for these boys.
[06:23] Kag
    In return, confiscate those
    evil things they're carrying.
[06:27] Sai
    Five Koronamin Cs and five dcks
[06:31] Sai
    coming right up.
[06:34] Shin
    Nothing's changed from before!
[06:37] Shin
    And why are you collapsing with them?!
[06:40] Gin
    Somehow, I can understand their pain.
[06:45] Shin
    Don't make it sound so profound.
[06:49] HB
    Use this.
[06:51] Shin
    Kozenigata-san!
[06:53] Gin
    You're telling us to climb using this?
[06:55] HB
    Don't worry. The queen and I...
    I mean, we'll pull you up from here.
SIGN    Super S and Super M
    You can meet your true self
[07:01] Shin
    Did you just say the queen?
[07:02] HB
    The rope may be a bit slippery, though.
[07:05] Shin
    Why is it slippery?
SIGN    Adult Society
     Super S and Super M
    You can meet your true self
[07:07] HB
    If you can't handle that,
    tie it to your body.
[07:10] HB
    If possible, try the turtle-shell knot.
[07:13] HB
    That might help make her more potent.
[07:16] Shin
    Wait, where are you?
    What were you doing up until now?
[07:20] HB
    Anyway, just trust me and her...
[07:24] HB
    Trust this revolting pig!
[07:27] Gin
    Hey, I just heard a thwack! You okay?
[07:29] HB
    Once you've grabbed the
    rope, try not to move.
[07:32] HB
    Please don't flail around!
[07:34] HB
    Ready? One, two...
[07:37] HB
    Ow!
[07:38] Shin
    Hey! Are you okay?!
[07:40] Shin
    Why does it seem like you're tied up, too?
    You're connected to this rope, aren't you?
[07:44] HB
    Don't worry! We also tied it
    to a pig so we wouldn't let go!
[07:48] Shin
    Uh, that's not what it looked like, though.
[07:50] Shin
    It was an extremely complicated
    way to tie a rope!
[07:53] HB
    My queen, this really won't work.
[07:56] HB
    The pig's going to get ripped to shreds.
[07:58] HB
    Look, it's starting to go purple.
[08:00] HB
    I did say I wanted to try the craziest
    Z course before Earth was destroyed...
[08:05] Gin
    Hey! What do you mean, Z course?
[08:07] HB
    "You have two balls, so pull one guy
    up with each"? That's impossible!
[08:13] Gin
    What the hell is this rope
    tied to on the other end?
[08:15] Gin
    What kinky stuff are you getting into?
[08:16] HB
    Oink! Oink! Oink!
SIGN    Super S and Super M
    You can meet your true self
[08:20] Gin
    All I hear is thwacks and oinks now!
[08:22] Gin
    What happened?
[08:23] Gin
    The enemy's almost here! Say something!
[08:26] HB
    Oink!
[08:27] Gin
    Something other than "oink"!
[08:29] Sai
    Got you covered.
[08:31] Sai
    If you want to be shredded so badly...
[08:34] HB
    Oink!
[08:34] Sai
    I'll shred you all you want!
[08:36] HB
    Oink!
[08:40] G
    What is this?
[08:40] G
    What's with these guys?
[08:43] G
    What's with this town?
[08:45] Dak
    I figured it was nothing more
    than a resident-defended town,
[08:48] Dak
    but it seems they have more backbone than
    soldiers who can't even fight without guns.
[08:55] Dak
    But stronger bones mean
    nothing when faced with us.
[09:00] Dak
    They will be reduced to powder all the same.
[09:10] Dak
    Of course, that goes for this metal town, too.
SIGN    Earth Defense Town
SIGN    Kabuki District First
[09:33] Shin
    He destroyed the gate...
[09:37] Shin
    with just one strike!
[10:00] Zen
    Yeah, you really can't stop a tidal wave
    of soldiers with cheap tricks alone.
[10:06] Kon
    We can't hold them off! The enemy's
    going to reach the Kabuki District!
[10:08] Hij
    Don't think! Just focus on cutting
    down as many as you can for now!
[10:12] Hij
    I've sent another squad already!
[10:14] Hij
    But who knows how useful they will be?
[10:18] Hij
    Can those massive monsters*
    really be stopped by humans?
[10:48] Dak
    Break! Destroy! Smash!
[10:51] Dak
    Reduce this town to rubble!
[10:53] Dak
    That rubble will form the path we walk!
[10:56] G
    Run away!
[10:59] G
    Those guys are coming here!
[11:01] Hana
    Otae-chan!
[11:02] Tae
    Oryo, Hana-chan!
[11:04] Hana
    The catapult was broken.
[11:06] Or
    Do we have any other traps?
    Otherwise they'll get to us!
[11:11] Tae
    Take them somewhere safe.
[11:13] Or
    Otae!
[11:14] Tae
    Sorry. There is nothing you can do anymore.
[11:19] Or
    Otae...
[11:20] G
    Hurry! If we want to
    escape, it's now or never!
[11:23] Or
    Wait! Otae, you come, too!
[11:31] Tae
    Run!
[11:51] Sai
    They're really giving me, Saigo of the
    White Loincloth, such a hard time...
[11:57] Sai
    How many of these have gotten into town?!
[12:00] Gin
    Beats me!
[12:01] Gin
    But if we keep fighting the enemies outside,
    the ones inside will crush the town.
[12:06] Gin
    And if we keep fighting the enemies
    inside, the ones outside will overrun us.
[12:10] Sai
    So it's a matter of preference?
[12:13] Gin
    I'll handle the ones left over.
[12:15] Sai
    Are you sure you want to let me choose?
[12:18] Gin
    Our lives will be in danger either way.
[12:21] Gin
    We used to be called Saigo of the
    White Loincloth and the White Yaksha,
[12:26] Gin
    but at some point, we stopped being white.
[12:29] Gin
    We're two peas in a pod who
    both got soiled by this town.
[12:34] Gin
    If someone who was plain white can be
    stained in this town's colors and die,
[12:37] Gin
    it doesn't matter to which
    side, don't you think?
[12:41] Sai
    Our answers are all the same.
[12:45] Sai
    We refuse to pick either,
[12:47] Sai
    and instead choose to believe in a
    miracle that will let us all survive.
[13:01] Tae
    Come on, get out this way.
[13:14] Or
    Otae!
[13:17] Or
    Huh?
[13:23] Kyu
    Don't touch her.
[13:25] Kyu
    She's important to me.
    Keep your hands off of her!
[13:37] Or
    K-Kyubei-san! Otae!
[13:40] Kyu
    This way! Quickly!
[13:45] Kyu
    Hurry!
[13:46] Otae
    Kyu-chan.
[13:48] Otae
    I believed you would come.
[13:52] Kyu
    Sorry I kept you waiting.
[13:55] Kyu
    I actually wanted to rush
    to your aid immediately.
[13:58] Kyu
    I wanted to take you away from this planet.
[14:01] Kyu
    But I decided back then...
[14:04] Kyu
    that the next time I dragged you by the hand,
[14:07] Kyu
    I must be capable of taking
    your smile along, too.
[14:11] Kyu
    That I'd be the kind of strong man
    and gentle woman who could do that.
[14:16] Kyu
    So now, I'm going to take
    you away once again...
[14:20] Kyu
    Along with this world you love so much!
[14:33] Bin
    Good grief. You're being awfully
    greedy this time, Kyubei.
[14:37] Tae
    Binbokusai-sama!
[14:39] Bin
    If you take so many brides,
    you won't last very long.
[14:45] Bin
    But playing along with a grandchild's whims,
    playing along with our master's whims,
[14:50] Bin
    is also our family's duty, huh?
[14:52] E4
    Indeed!
[14:54] Tou
    That's our job as the Yagyu Elite Four!
[15:01] G
    Damn, they just won't give up.
[15:04] G
    Switch to a perimeter formation!
[15:09] Ago
    This is bad!
[15:10] Ago
    The other gates are undermanned now.
[15:12] Ago
    If they attack all of them at once,
    we'll be overrun in an instant!
[15:19] G
    Wh-What's this?
[15:23] Oto
    It's the Yagyu Family
    and the town volunteers!
[15:31] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[15:35] Gin
    Took you awfully long.
[15:38] Kyu
    Yeah, because we were waiting.
[15:42] Kyu
    Waiting for this moment when our
    swords would take a silver glint.
[15:46] Kyu
    All the students of the Yagyu Chinkage
    Style and the Chinko Volunteer Squad
[15:51] Kyu
    will hereby assist Odd Jobs Gin-chan!
[15:54] Kyu
    Let's go!
[15:59] Gin
    You did well to gather so many.
[16:01] Gin
    Shows the Yagyu Family's might, huh?
[16:04] Kyu
    I didn't do anything.
[16:06] Tou
    No! The young master's passionate
    speech shot us all through the heart.
[16:10] Tou
    I have that heroic address 
    recorded right here...
[16:10] Shin
    Hey, watch out!
[16:13] Tou
    My recording of the young master!
[16:16] Sui
    But if I'm fighting the entire universe,
[16:21] Sui
    it seems I'll be making many women cry.
[16:24] Its
    No woman will cry if a penis face dies.
[16:27] Sui
    Who are you calling penis face?!
[16:29] Its
    I'll be the only one crying.
[16:31] Sui
    You'll cry for me?!
[16:32] Nish
    Victory or defeat doesn't matter.
[16:35] Nish
    We haven't had such an exciting
    battle since back then!
[16:39] Bin
    Indeed. That fight sure was fun, huh, kid?
[16:43] Gin
    Not for me!
[16:45] Gin
    Do you have any idea how many ribs I broke?!
[16:47] Bin
    The Yagyu Family being hailed as
    the Shogun Family's instructors
[16:51] Bin
    is a thing of the past now.
[16:54] Bin
    Eventually, the world will forget
    all about the way of the sword.
[16:58] Bin
    But before the end,
[17:01] Bin
    the heavens granted us a battlefield.
[17:05] Bin
    We have honed our swords all for this moment!
[17:10] Nish
    All right! Here we go!
[17:21] Tou
    Nishino?
[17:22] Sui
    Why, you...
[17:45] Bin
    Hang in there.
[17:53] Kyu
    Grandfather!
[17:53] Gin
    Kyubei!
[17:58] Dak
    What are you playing at?
[18:00] Dak
    Why do I smell a female among you?
[18:06] Shin
    Gin-san! Kyubei-san!
[18:08] Gin
    Ow... I'm fine. Something cushioned me.
[18:11] Gin
    Huh? Why do I smell a female scent...
[18:17] Shin
    Uh, that attack's way more dangerous!
[18:19] Dak
    You have kids, too?
[18:21] Dak
    What do you people think a battlefield is?
[18:25] Dak
    This is no playground!
[18:27] Dak
    Don't defile this holy ritual that
    men stake their lives and honor on!
[18:33] Kyu
    You're the ones who don't get it.
[18:36] Kyu
    War is an act that affects men,
    women, and children equally
[18:40] Kyu
    and reduces them all to ashes.
[18:43] Kyu
    Surely you didn't start this war unprepared
    to swing your clubs at babies and kids.
[18:53] Kyu
    Surely you're not standing
    before me unprepared
[18:57] Kyu
    to be cut down by women or children!
[19:00] Dak
    Such fortitude.
[19:02] Dak
    Are you really a woman?
[19:04] Kyu
    I'm Yagyu Kyubei!
[19:10] Kyu
    Come!
[19:12] Kag
    Do you have an idea to beat that monster?
[19:15] Kyu
    If we fight him head-on at close
    range, we won't stand a chance.
[19:18] Kyu
    In that case, we must use our mobility
    and rain concentrated fire upon him.
[19:22] Tae
    Kyu-chan!
[19:24] Kyu
    Tae-chan?
[19:25] Kyu
    Why?
[19:26] Tae
    How could I run away after what you said?
[19:30] Tae
    Let's show them what women
    and children can do.
[19:41] Dak
    It matters not. Slaughter them all!
[19:51] Dak
    Did you really think you could seal
    off my range with this trickery?
[20:00] Dak
    I saw that simultaneous attack from three
    directions coming from a mile away.
[20:05] Dak
    Die!
[20:08] Gin
    It's not three directions.
[20:10] Gin
    It's four!
[20:16] Dak
    I see.
[20:18] Dak
    But your frail swords
    cannot even break my horn!
[20:24] Gin
    Even if we can't break your horn,
[20:26] Gin
    we can break your nose at least!
[20:32] Tae
    Now!
[20:41] Kad
    Playtime is over, you whelps!
[20:45] Kad
    Get down here!
[20:49] Kyu
    Here we are.
[20:51] Kyu
    Playtime is only beginning!
[20:52] Dak
    Y-You fiends...
[21:09] Dak
    Not good enough!
[21:23] Tsu
    There are still some women
    and children over here.
[21:27] Tsu
    But playing with the women of Yoshiwara
    is a game of life and death.
[21:31] Tsu
    You'd best be prepared.
[21:36] Shin
    Tsukuyo-san!
[21:51] Dak
    Is that it?
[21:58] Dak
    Yeah, that's it.
[22:05] Gin
    We're not gonna play anymore with a guy
    who can't even be "it" in a game of tag.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
[23:49] Chin
    The boss of this town has returned.
SIGN    Bragging About Your Own Heroic Deeds 
    Will Make People Hate You, 
    so Make Others Do It For You
SIGN    With the Kabuki District in danger,
SIGN    people rush to its aid one after another!
SIGN    And the father-and-daughter pair
SIGN    who had left on a journey together will...?!