# E34 - Love Doesn’t Require a Manual
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRWEX2GJR/love-doesnt-require-a-manual)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:07] Takachin**
"The promising young pop star, TAMA. Her cat ears are so cute..."
**[00:11] Takachin**
Wasn't she the one with the debut song that beat out Otsu's?
**[00:15] Takachin**
She's the one who pushed Otsu-chan to eighth place on the Edocon, wasn't it?
***SIGN*** [Note: Edocon is a parody of the Oricon, a Japanese music sales ranking.]
**[00:17] ---**
This makes me sick. What's so great about her?
**[00:20] ---**
If she didn't have ears, she'd be just like any typical pop star.
**[00:23] Sergeant**
Tell me about it. Cat ears are an abomination.
**[00:26] Sergeant**
But if Otsu-chan had cat ears, her popularity would go through the roof.
**[00:33] Takachin**
What are you saying, Sergeant?!
**[00:34] Takachin**
Otsu-chan doesn't need cat ears! Right now, she's at her best and her cutest.
**[00:38] Sergeant**
Takachin, it's a fact that a large number of people are attracted to cat ears.
**[00:44] Sergeant**
In other words, this discussion begins with the acknowledgement of that fact.
**[00:49] Sergeant**
Indeed, Otsu-san is cute and has a beautiful voice.
**[00:53] Sergeant**
But it's an undeniable fact that these qualities alone are not enough to sustain an idol in times like these.
**[00:59] Takachin**
Aren't you the one who's denying the facts?!
**[01:03] Takachin**
I saw you buying TAMA's photo collection.
**[01:07] Sergeant**
Th-That was just...
**[01:11] Members**
President!!
**[01:13] ---**
President!!
**[01:14] Shinpachi**
Sergeant!! Tell me what Article 14 of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club Regulations is!!
**[01:19] Sergeant**
M-Members shall worship no other idols, but Otsu!!
**[01:25] Shinpachi**
That's exactly right!!
**[01:26] Shinpachi**
Sergeant!! You were one of the club's top officials, but you broke this regulation!
**[01:30] Shinpachi**
Therefore, you will receive the Nose Hook Destroyer as punishment!
**[01:32] Passenger A**
Honestly. Young people these days... What are they thinking?
**[01:37] Eromesu**
Hey! Stop.
**[01:39] Matsudaira**
Come on.
**[01:41] Matsudaira**
Have a drink with me, toots.
**[01:44] Eromesu**
Hey, let go.
**[01:46] Matsudaira**
Don't ignore me, sweet cheeks. I just want you to listen to me.
**[01:50] Passenger A**
Honestly. A drunk now? Adults these days... What's this world coming to?
**[01:51] Eromesu**
Stop! Let go of me!
**[01:57] Matsudaira**
I'm really in a jam. My subordinates are all useless. And my daughter...
**[02:03] Eromesu**
*Stop. Get away from me. You stink!*
**[02:06] Matsudaira**
There's no need to say that.
**[02:10] Eromesu**
Stop!
**[02:11] Matsudaira**
Hey...
**[02:11] Eromesu**
No! Someone!! Somebody, help me!
**[02:25] Shinpachi**
Who cares about cat ears?
**[02:28] Shinpachi**
There's a girl with cat ears...
**[02:30] Shinpachi**
living downstairs from us. Her room smells like a litter box!
**[02:35] Shinpachi**
I don't give a crap about cat ears!! Who cares about fetishes?! All cat ears should be burned!!
**[02:39] Eromesu**
Umm...
**[02:40] Shinpachi**
What is it?! I'm busy right now!!
**[02:42] Eromesu**
Umm, thank you for saving me.
**[02:45] Eromesu**
You sure are brave. That was very chivalrous of you.
**[02:52] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Cat ears should...
**[02:55] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Cat ears should...
**[02:59] Shinpachi**
Cat ears should be adored!!
***SIGN*** [Shinpachi saved a lovely cat-eared girl on the train!!]
***SIGN*** [How will this otaku's love turn out? Isn't it a little late for a story like this?]
***SIGN*** ["Love Doesn't Require a Manual"]
**[04:48] Omittedotae**
Shin-chan.
**[04:51] Otae**
Shin-chan, those are your nostrils.
**[04:53] Otae**
What is that? Is that your silent way of telling me you won't eat my cooking?
**[04:57] Shinpachi**
No... It's not like that. Sorry... I was spaced out.
**[05:01] Otae**
What's wrong, Shin-chan? You've been acting strange lately.
**[05:05] Otae**
I heard from Gin-san that your witty comments are loosing their edge.
**[05:09] ---**
You've got to get a hold of yourself.
**[05:11] ---**
If you don't play the straight man, then this whole world will implode from an excess of funny men.
**[05:16] Shinpachi**
Sorry...
**[05:17] Otae**
Honestly... Don't apologize. You were supposed to make a comment there.
**[05:21] ---**
You should've said something like "Dude! It's jokes like those that are destroying the world!"
**[05:24] Shinpachi**
Sorry... I'll say it now.
**[05:27] Shinpachi**
Dude, it's jokes-
**[05:29] Otae**
Who are you calling a "dude"?!
**[05:37] Shinpachi (Mono)**
What's wrong with me?
**[05:39] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Ever since then, that girl's face won't leave my head.
**[05:43] Shinpachi (Mono)**
My heart aches. It's painful...
**[05:46] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No matter what I do, I can only think of that cat-eared girl...
**[05:50] ---**
I never thought I would have feelings for a girl who's not Otsu-chan...
**[05:54] ---**
Cat ears really are formidable.
**[05:55] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No, no, no, no, no!!
**[05:57] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I have only Otsu-chan. I won't ever cheat on her.
**[06:02] Eromesu**
Umm... I'd like to repay your kindness. Can I have your address?
**[06:08] Shinpachi (Mono)**
She said that, but was she telling the truth?
**[06:10] Shinpachi (Mono)**
How is she going to repay me? Does she want to marry me?
**[06:14] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!
**[06:16] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I am Captain Shinpachi Shimura of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club!!
**[06:20] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I cannot be unfaithful!
***SIGN*** [Odd Jobs Gin]
**[06:23] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I must stop having silly daydreams.
**[06:26] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Nothing so sweet as this has ever come up during the sixteen years I've been alive.
**[06:31] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Keep both feet on the ground. Dream appropriate dreams.
**[06:35] ---**
Yes...
**[06:36] Shinpachi (Mono)**
A guy as unexciting as me doesn't...
**[06:40] Shinpachi**
Good morning!
**[06:42] Kagura**
Meow!!
**[06:44] Kagura**
What do you think of this, Gin-chan? Don't you think this is a good look?
**[06:47] Gintoki**
Hey, don't put those on without permission.
**[06:49] Gintoki**
They're for Shinpachi. Put it back in the box, right away.
**[06:52] Kagura**
But you're eating the cake that was in the box.
**[06:57] Gintoki**
Food is fine. The evidence is destroyed once it's in your stomach.
**[07:02] Gintoki**
Oh, oh no. Shinpachi's going to be here any minute. I'd better put it back.
**[07:05] Kagura**
Hey! That's not fair. I still haven't had a bite yet.
**[07:11] Kagura**
Wow. This is good.
**[07:13] Gintoki**
Aww... That's not good.
**[07:15] Gintoki**
You've ruined my plan to eat it in a way that would make it seem as if it was always like this.
**[07:21] Gintoki**
Oh well. I'll take a bit off here. You help, too.
**[07:25] Kagura**
Okay.
**[07:26] Gintoki**
Make it round. Make it a small round cake.
**[07:30] Kagura**
Okay.
**[07:31] Gintoki**
No, not round like that, make it cylindrical...
**[07:33] Kagura**
Okay.
**[07:35] Kagura**
Gin-chan, this is bad. This looks as short-lived as a pochi.
***SIGN*** [Note: Pochi is a parody of Pocky, a Japanese snack.]
**[07:38] Gintoki**
Do you know why pochi tastes so good? It's because it's short-lived.
**[07:41] Kagura**
Oh? So that's why Yakulko tastes so good.
***SIGN*** [Note: Yakulko is a parody of Yakult, a probiotic drink.]
**[07:45] Gintoki**
It's the same as life.
**[07:46] ---**
All right. Let's put this away.
**[07:48] Shinpachi**
I'll put you away!!
**[07:50] Shinpachi**
What are you doing, opening other people's mail?!
**[07:53] Shinpachi**
There are things people should and shouldn't do!!
**[07:56] Gintoki**
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow... Shinpachi.
**[07:58] Gintoki**
If you were there, you should say so. Was this some sort of trap?
**[08:02] Kagura**
That's underhanded. You're terrible!
**[08:04] Shinpachi**
You're the ones who are underhanded and terrible!!
**[08:07] Gintoki**
Umm... Well, we didn't see anything. We just ate your cake.
**[08:12] Kagura**
Yeah. We didn't read the letter or anything.
**[08:14] Shinpachi**
Letter?!
**[08:15] Gintoki**
Umm... Here.
**[08:17] Gintoki**
It's a little ripped, but don't get the wrong idea. It came like that.
**[08:21] Gintoki**
We didn't look inside.
**[08:23] Kagura**
Yeah. We don't know anything about your date.
**[08:25] Shinpachi**
Date?!
**[08:28] Eromesu**
In appreciation for your help the other day,
**[08:30] Eromesu**
I've sent you something that I believe will suit you.
**[08:35] Eromesu**
It's not much, but I'd be happy if you wore it.
**[08:39] Eromesu**
If it's possible, I'd like to see you again, so I can properly thank you.
**[08:44] Eromesu**
Contact me when you feel like it.
**[08:47] Eromesu**
I'll be waiting for your call. Eromesu.
***SIGN*** [Note: Eromesu is a pun on Hermes (the female lead in Train Man), only in this case, "ero" for erotic and "mesu" for female cat.]
**[08:50] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No way! It's that girl!! No way! She wants to meet me? On a date?
**[08:55] Shinpachi (Mono)**
W-W-W-W-What should I do?! I've never been on a date before.
**[08:58] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I don't know what to do... Wait! That aside, is this really a date?
**[09:03] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Wait! Should I go on the assumption that this is a date?
**[09:07] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm the captain of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club...
**[09:09] ---**
Wait! Tsu Terakado's totally beyond my reach!
**[09:13] ---**
Am I going to pass up a real girl for a fantasy?
**[09:16] ---**
Wait! That aside, is this really a date?!
**[09:18] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No, wait! I'm not being unfaithful at all! This is just research!
**[09:22] ---**
The Sergeant was bewitched by cat ears.
**[09:25] ---**
I must investigate and experience their terror first hand so such a tragedy will never happen again!
**[09:30] ---**
Yes! This is just research!
**[09:32] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Unfortunately, I have no experience in love!
**[09:35] Shinpachi (Mono)**
There's a strong possibility that...
**[09:37] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'll be shot down before I experience cat ears.
**[09:42] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I need a manual!!
**[09:44] ---**
It's not as if I want her to like me. This is research! I need a manual...
**[09:47] Shinpachi (Mono)**
From someone who has a lot of experience!
**[09:52] Shinpachi (Mono)**
But Gin-san looks like he's never had a wholesome romantic encounter in his life,
**[09:56] Shinpachi (Mono)**
and Kagura-chan is just a girl who eats a lot.
**[09:59] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Sis works at a cabaret bar, but she's a complete amateur at love.
**[10:04] ---**
She says that she's going to protect her chastity until she gets married,
**[10:06] ---**
but she'll probably never get married.
**[10:09] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Aside from them... Huh?
**[10:11] ---**
Someone close to me that I can confide in...
**[10:15] Shinpachi (Mono)**
There isn't anyone?!
***SIGN*** [Train Samurai]
***SIGN*** [Note: This is a parody of Train Man (Densha Otoko)]
**[10:21] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I saved a girl from a drunken molester on the train
**[10:24] Shinpachi (Mono)**
and I'm meeting her because she says she wants to thank me.
**[10:26] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Is this a date?
**[10:27] ---**
And what goes on during a date?
**[10:31] Shinpachi (Mono)**
In this case, regular people from far away are better than the idiots nearby.
**[10:34] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm not good with computers, but I have no choice.
**[10:37] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I can ask for opinions from all sorts of people here...
***SIGN*** [Internet Teahouse]
**[10:39] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Furthermore, I can't talk to the people I know about love...
***SIGN*** [Samurai Chat Room]
**[10:42] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Because it's too embarrassing.
**[10:45] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Oh! There's a message already.
**[10:47] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Amazing. People are actually reading my message.
**[10:51] Shinpachi**
Online name: Fruit Punch Samurai?
**[10:54] Katsura**
Train Samurai, this is not a sissy chat room where people discuss love.
**[10:58] ---**
This is a place where samurai declare their beliefs.
**[11:01] ---**
You're on the wrong board. Leave immediately.
**[11:04] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Whoa! He's really angry.
**[11:06] Shinpachi (Mono)**
With a name like Fruit Punch Samurai, too...
**[11:08] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Sorry, Fruit Punch Samurai-san.
**[11:10] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm not really good with this stuff.
**[11:13] Shinpachi (Mono)**
But I'm really worried about this.
**[11:15] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Could you please help me, Fruit Punch Samurai-san?
**[11:19] Katsura**
I'm not Fruit Punch Samurai!! I'm Katsura!
**[11:22] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Then what's the point in using a screen name?! And it's someone I know!!
**[11:26] Shinpachi**
What the hell is he doing on this message board?
***SIGN*** [Fruit Punch Samurai. Occupation: Terrorist]
**[11:29] Shinpachi**
What is a fruit punch samurai anyway?!
**[11:31] Katsura**
*Commit seppuku, commit seppuku, commit seppuku, commit seppuku...*
**[11:33] ---**
Fruit Punch Samurai is really getting hostile!
**[11:35] Shinpachi (Mono)**
What a jerk. I'd like to fruit punch him right through the screen.
**[11:39] Shinpachi**
Oh, a new person. Fallen Angel Samurai?
**[11:44] Hasegawa (Woman)**
Hey, cut it out. This is a free board where samurai can talk about anything.
**[11:50] Hasegawa (Woman)**
By the way, I'm a beautiful, slutty and flirty female swordsman. I'm known as the Fencing Beauty.
**[11:55] Shinpachi (Mono)**
A woman. She might listen to me.
**[11:59] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Fallen Angel Samurai-san, I'm a pathetic man who has never had a girlfriend in sixteen years.
**[12:04] ---**
I don't know how to deal with women.
**[12:07] ---**
What should I do? I'd appreciate your feminine opinion.
**[12:11] Hasegawa (Woman)**
What a cute boy.
**[12:13] Hasegawa (Woman)**
Fine, I'll teach you everything.
**[12:18] Hasegawa**
This guy's an idiot. He thinks I'm a woman.
***SIGN*** [Fallen Angel Samurai. Occupation: Part-time worker]
**[12:20] Customer**
Hey! Just work the register.
**[12:23] Hasegawa**
Would you like to meet me offline?
**[12:25] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Woah! What's with her? She's kind of creepy.
**[12:28] Kondo**
Where do you want to meet?
**[12:31] Shinpachi**
Fruit Punch Samurai guy went for it!!
**[12:33] Shinpachi**
Wasn't this a place for samurai to discuss their beliefs?!
**[12:36] Hasegawa**
I'm a guy, you moron! Wallow in porn for rest of your life!!
**[12:39] Kondo**
Just kill yourself. Just kill yourself. Just kill yourself...
**[12:41] Shinpachi (Mono)**
What are they doing?
**[12:43] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Huh?! Looking closely...
***SIGN*** [Fruit Chinpo Samurai]
***SIGN*** ["Punch" is "ponchi" in Japanese. "Ponchi" spelled backwards is "Chinpo" which means "penis."]
**[12:46] Shinpachi (Mono)**
It's not Fruit Punch Samurai.
**[12:50] Yamazaki**
Commander, bad news.
**[12:52] Yamazaki**
Matsudaira has been arrested for sexual harassment on the train.
**[12:55] Kondo**
I'm busy right now! Tell me later!
***SIGN*** [Fruit Chinpo Samurai. Occupation: Shinsengumi Special Police]
***SIGN*** [Fruit Punch Samurai]
**[12:58] Katsura (Mono)**
Who are you?!
**[12:59] Katsura (Mono)**
You're using a name that's almost the same as mine, you horrible swine!
**[13:02] Kondo (Mono)**
It's confusing. Change your name right now!!
***SIGN*** [Fruit Chinpo Samurai]
**[13:05] Kondo (Mono)**
Commit seppuku!
**[13:05] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Hey! Gee how old are these dopes?
**[13:07] Katsura (Mono)**
You commit seppuku!
**[13:07] Kondo (Mono)**
No, you commit seppuku!
**[13:08] Katsura (Mono)**
No, you!
**[13:09] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Aw, this is hopeless.
**[13:12] Shinpachi (Mono)**
In this day and age, people are so indifferent with each other.
**[13:17] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No one's going to listen to my petty woes.
**[13:19] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm really beginning to hate myself.
**[13:22] ---**
I'm an unimaginative dweeb who can't make a move without getting advice from other people.
**[13:27] Shinpachi (Mono)**
A person like me has no right to fall in love.
***SIGN*** [Silver Samurai]
**[13:33] Gintoki (Mono)**
Train Samurai, what are you so afraid of?
**[13:37] Gintoki (Mono)**
Why are you so scared?
**[13:38] Shinpachi**
Could it be...?
**[13:39] Gintoki (Mono)**
Are you afraid your date is going to fail? Are you afraid of being rejected?
**[13:44] Gintoki (Mono)**
Are you that afraid of getting hurt?
**[13:48] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Gin-san... Why? How do you know about this?
**[13:51] ---**
Can it be? Are you here?
**[13:55] Gintoki (Mono)**
There are two things people are afraid of: death and embarrassment.
**[13:59] Gintoki (Mono)**
Only fools try to overcome death.
**[14:03] Gintoki (Mono)**
But it takes real guts to conquer embarrassment.
**[14:06] ---**
That's my kind of fool.
**[14:09] ---**
Go get her...
**[14:10] Gintoki (Mono)**
Train Samurai. Tackle it head-on...
**[14:13] Gintoki (Mono)**
Train Samurai. Make a fool of yourself.
**[14:17] Gintoki (Mono)**
It will make you stronger. Go...
**[14:19] Gintoki (Mono)**
Train Samurai!
**[14:25] Gintoki (Mono)**
By the way, I, Gin-san, got a cute girlfriend by doing that.
**[14:30] Satchan (Mono)**
She's an assassin. She wears glasses and is really good looking.
**[14:34] Satchan (Mono)**
She's incredibly cute. Seriously. She's begging by my side right now. Heart.
***SIGN*** [Silver Samurai. Occupation: Assassin]
**[14:41] Satchan (Mono)**
By the way, anyone who sees this message
**[14:44] Satchan (Mono)**
has to make 10,000 posts in the thread titled "Sachan is going out with Gin-san."
**[14:48] Satchan (Mono)**
If not, Sachan will kill you four days later at midnight. This is no joke.
**[14:52] Satchan (Mono)**
One of my friends went missing on the fourth day after reading this.
**[14:57] Kondo**
Are you serious?!
**[15:00] Kondo (Mono)**
Umm... Fruit Punch, did you see that?
**[15:02] Kondo (Mono)**
If you did, well, maybe we should work together...
**[15:04] Kondo (Mono)**
We could each write 5,000 messages!
**[15:07] Katsura (Mono)**
Good idea. We need to discuss the details.
**[15:10] Katsura (Mono)**
Why don't we meet in person. Tomorrow at 1:00 PM.
**[15:13] Katsura (Mono)**
I'll be waiting in front of the Ieyasu statue.
**[15:15] Kondo (Mono)**
All right. I'll have fruit punch in my left hand.
**[15:19] Kondo (Mono)**
You wait there with fruit punch in your right hand.
**[15:22] Katsura (Mono)**
All right.
**[15:24] Kondo**
No!!
**[15:34] Gintoki**
Hey, does he think he's going to war?
**[15:38] Gintoki**
He sure is giving off a weird vibe.
**[15:40] Otae**
I see. So this is why he was acting strange.
**[15:44] Kagura**
According to the letter, the girl should be showing up any minute now.
**[15:47] Gintoki**
So that's that. Feel better now? Let's go and let them have their date.
**[15:52] Otae**
No. That girl may one day bear the Shimura family's future heir. I want to see her with my eyes.
**[15:59] Gintoki**
You're getting hasty. You're acting like a sister-in-law.
**[16:02] Otae**
What would you do if that girl's name was Ken?
***SIGN*** [Note: Ken Shimura is a Japanese comedian.]
**[16:06] Otae**
It would be the birth of a great comedian.
**[16:09] Gintoki**
No woman is named Ken!
**[16:11] Kagura**
Oh! Here she comes!
**[16:14] Eromesu**
Shimura-san!
**[16:20] Eromesu**
Sorry.
**[16:22] Eromesu**
It seems I made you wait...
**[16:26] Otae**
Hey... What is that?
**[16:28] Otae**
They're cat ears!! I never heard anything about that!
**[16:31] Gintoki**
Well, love transcends even the stars.
**[16:35] Otae**
No way! I hate cats! I'm a dog person!
**[16:38] Gintoki**
Wait, wait.
**[16:39] Gintoki**
Dogs and cats are pretty similar. Those might actually be dog ears.
**[16:44] Otae**
If she's a dog, then she's a dog that's been wed to the Shimura family.
***SIGN*** [Note: The Japanese character for dog can be read as "ken."]
**[16:47] Otae**
It would be the birth of Ken Shimura!!
**[16:49] Gintoki**
Who knows? Maybe she'll drop a whole litter of Shimura pups!
**[16:52] Gintoki**
In the end, you're still way too attached to your brother!
**[16:55] ---**
I always thought it was Shinpachi who couldn't break free from you.
**[16:58] ---**
But...now I get it! You have a brother complex!
**[17:01] Otae**
Who are you calling a burakon?!
***SIGN*** [burakon= brother complex]
**[17:02] Otae**
I'm not an easy woman who can be controlled by a remote!
***SIGN*** [rajikon= "radio control"]
**[17:05] Gintoki**
That's a rajikon!!
**[17:09] Kondo**
Umm, Fruit Punch Samurai-san?
**[17:13] Kondo**
Oh, you were right next to me.
**[17:15] Katsura**
You told me you were going to hold your fruit punch in your left hand, but you were holding it in your right.
**[17:19] Kondo**
Oh, sorry. I was thinking about it from the viewer's point of view.
**[17:23] Katsura**
Well, sorry for being so rude in cyber space. I'm Fruit Punch Samurai.
**[17:29] Kondo**
This is a nightmare. How can we possibly write 10,000 in three days?
**[17:34] ---**
Oh, I'm Fruit C...
***SIGN*** [Blue Sky Cafe]
**[17:42] Waitress**
Here's your lemon tea. Enjoy.
**[17:46] Gintoki**
Following them to a place like this...
**[17:49] Gintoki**
Isn't it kind of boorish to stick our necks into someone else's love life?
**[17:53] Kagura**
I am being quiet! Scandals are achieved through legwork!!
**[17:53] Otae**
Be quiet!! The future of the Shimura family is at stake.
**[17:56] Gintoki**
Shut up. Don't talk at the same time!!
**[17:59] Eromesu**
Who are those people?
**[18:03] Eromesu**
Shinpachi-san?
**[18:04] Eromesu**
That's your eye, Shinpachi-san.
**[18:09] Eromesu**
Sh-Shinpachi-san!!
**[18:12] Eromesu**
Are you all right? What's wrong? Did you get burned?
**[18:16] Shinpachi**
N-No. I'm all right.
**[18:19] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No, I'm not all right...
**[18:22] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Your fervent gaze has scorched my heart.
**[18:23] Eromesu**
What's wrong?
**[18:26] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Crap! That's dirty, you cat-eared girl.
**[18:28] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Why are such cute things on such a cute girl? They're like a secret weapon.
**[18:33] ---**
Well, this one is a weapon in a different kind of way.
**[18:37] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Sergeant! Right now, I understand why you fell for cat ears.
**[18:41] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Cat ears are amazing! Praise cat ears!
**[18:44] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm an idiot!! I didn't understand anything.
**[18:47] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I was the one who needed to get hit, Sergeant.
**[18:51] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'm a coward. I really have no right to be doing this.
**[18:58] Eromesu**
Umm, Shinpachi-san.
**[19:00] Eromesu**
Thank you very much for the other day.
**[19:03] Eromesu**
I never thought you would come. I'm really happy.
**[19:08] Eromesu**
I wanted to meet you and thank you... Or rather, I actually... Once more...
**[19:14] Shinpachi**
That's your eye.
**[19:16] Eromesu**
Huh? Oh no! What am I doing?!
**[19:19] Eromesu**
Sorry. What's gotten into me?
**[19:22] Eromesu**
That's odd.
**[19:23] ---**
My heart's racing.
**[19:30] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Stop! Please stop making such cute gestures!!
**[19:33] ---**
It's getting to me. You're hitting all my pressure points like a chiropractor.
**[19:38] Gintoki**
What are you doing?
**[19:39] Eromesu**
You're wearing the cat ears I gave you. I'm glad. I took the time to pick them out.
**[19:45] Eromesu**
It was always my dream to walk with someone I admired wearing matching clothes.
**[19:49] ---**
Oh! I said it...
**[19:53] Gintoki**
What are you doing? Hey... Cut it out.
**[19:56] Gintoki**
Umm... Are you lis...
**[19:57] Otae**
What is this? What is this feeling?!
**[19:59] Otae**
That girl is making me really annoyed!
**[20:01] Otae**
What should I do?! What should I do?!
**[20:04] Kagura**
There's something black in my heart! Get rid of it! Purge the darkness!
**[20:10] Shinpachi**
Oh. There's no need to make a big fuss about walking. Why don't we do that right now?
**[20:15] Eromesu**
Huh? Really?! Is that all right?
**[20:18] Eromesu**
Thank goodness I gathered up all my courage.
**[20:20] ---**
Huh? What's going on? Things are getting misty.
**[20:25] Otae**
Shall I make you blind forever?!
**[20:27] Gintoki**
Why me?! Do this to her!!
**[20:30] Eromesu**
Umm... Can I hold your hand?
**[20:33] Shinpachi**
Oh... Well...
**[20:35] ---**
Here.
**[20:41] Shinpachi (Mono)**
No matter how I look at this, this is a date.
**[20:44] Shinpachi (Mono)**
We're holding hands and my heart is racing.
**[20:48] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Huh? We ended up wandering down an awkward street.
**[20:51] ---**
On no.
**[20:53] ---**
She'll think that I want to be alone with her or that I want to go somewhere without any people.
**[20:57] Shinpachi**
U-Umm, Eromesu-chan, this street isn't really interesting.
**[21:03] Shinpachi**
Why don't we go down a main road?
**[21:05] Eromesu**
Shinpachi-san, I moved around too much, I'm feeling a little tired.
**[21:10] Eromesu**
My house is nearby. Care to go there to rest?
**[21:14] Shinpachi**
Huh?
**[21:16] Eromesu**
My parents aren't home, either.
**[21:20] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Really?! No way! Huh? What? This already?!
**[21:24] Shinpachi (Mono)**
We've just met... Huh? It that what's going on?
**[21:24] Eromesu**
What should I do? I said it... Oh dear...
**[21:28] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I had heard that young people are wild nowadays,
**[21:31] Shinpachi (Mono)**
but this is as wild as the feudal era!!
**[21:33] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I can't! I can't do it!
**[21:36] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I'd be glad if I can do it with a cute girl like her...
**[21:39] Shinpachi (Mono)**
But I'm still a boy and this time slot is anime time for children.
**[21:43] Shinpachi (Mono)**
We were already demoted from golden hour.
**[21:46] ---**
If the PTA sends in a flood of complaints, the show will be canceled...
***SIGN*** [Eromesu's House]
**[21:53] Shinpachi (Mono)**
What?
**[21:55] Eromesu**
What's wrong? Is there something wrong with my house?
**[21:58] Shinpachi**
N-No! Nothing at all!
**[22:00] Eromesu**
Well then...
**[22:05] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Oh no! This is bad! Not good!
**[22:07] ---**
We're going to get cancelled if I don't do something...
**[22:11] Eromesu**
Umm... You can go in... I'll be waiting in bed...
**[22:18] Eromesu**
Forever.
**[22:21] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I don't care about getting cancelled!!
**[22:23] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I won't back down after coming this far!!
**[22:25] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Who cares if this is anime time for children!!
**[22:27] Shinpachi (Mono)**
The staff will cheat by showing what happens like it's a science lesson...
***SIGN***
***SIGN***
***SIGN***
**[22:32] Shinpachi (Mono)**
It'll be all right! It'll definitely be all right!!
**[22:36] Shinpachi (Mono)**
I...
**[22:37] Shinpachi (Mono)**
Shinpachi Shimura, will become a real man!!
***SIGN*** [To be continued]
***SIGN***
**[24:17] Shinpachi**
Oh no! We've run out of time this week!
**[24:21] Shinpachi**
We're going to continue next week! Huh? The next episode?
**[24:24] Shinpachi**
Just cut that out! It's disgraceful for a man to turn down a woman's favor!!
***SIGN*** ["Love Doesn't Require a Manual (Continued)"]
***SIGN*** [Next week's episode: "You Can't Judge a Person by His Appearance, Either."]
***SIGN*** [...will be pushed back. Please understand. (Maximum extension is thirty minutes.)]