E336 - The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Sword
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Kus
We excaliburlings do our work by being
used as bloodsucking biological weapons.
[00:11] Kus
But Maganagi is worse.
[00:14] Kus
His staple food is swords, meaning...
[00:17] Kus
He's a cannibal.
[00:19] Hij
My bad feeling was on the mark.
[00:21] Hij
That man wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
[00:23] Hij
It was his sword!
[00:26] Gin
Looks like the one sword
we really wanted to avoid
[00:29] Gin
showed up in the hands of the
one guy who shouldn't wield it.
[00:35] Mag
Nothing vanished.
[00:37] Mag
They're right here in my belly.
[00:42] Mag
Both your sword
[00:44] Mag
and this man.
SIGN Gintama
SIGN Slip Arc
SIGN The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Sword
[02:29] Shin
I-Is that...
[02:31] Kon
S-Sogo?
[02:35] Hij
That's not him anymore.
[02:37] Kon
T-Toshi!
[02:39] Hij
Damn, we were too late.
[02:41] Gin
Hey, Kusanagi, could it be?
SIGN Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
[02:47] Mag
I'm amazed you had the gall to treat me,
Cursed Sword Maganagi, as you did.
[02:53] Mag
Nobody has ever mocked me so much.
No vessel has been such a pain to take over.
[02:59] Mag
You were the first, Master.
[03:02] Mag
But your superhuman body and mind,
rare anywhere in the universe,
[03:08] Mag
already belong to me, Maganagi.
[03:12] Mag
The strongest sword and the
strongest vessel are now one.
[03:15] Mag
At last, I have attained strength
unparalleled across the universe.
[03:20] Kus
He got consumed! That bro
got consumed by Maganagi!
[03:25] Hij
Capture him!
[03:28] Mag
Wow, what do you think you're
doing to one of your comrades?
[03:32] Kon
H-Hey, Toshi!
[03:34] Hij
Just trust me for now.
That's not Sogo anymore.
[03:38] Hij
Your stupid game is over.
[03:40] Hij
We know what you really are.
Throw that sword away.
[03:45] Mag
What are you saying? I'm in the
middle of a real-sword fight here.
[03:50] Mag
If I threw my sword away,
I'd get sliced in half.
[03:54] Hij
And if you won't do it,
I'll just cut you down myself.
[03:58] Mag
Can you do it?
[04:00] Mag
Can you guys cut me down?
[04:02] Mag
Because I can cut anything.
[04:08] Kon
O-Our swords!
[04:11] Mag
I'm sick of eating dull swords.
[04:15] Kon
Sogo!
[04:18] Gin
Hey, you're going after the wrong guy.
[04:21] Gin
I'm your opponent.
[04:26] Hij
Hey! You're the one who
went after the wrong guy!
[04:29] Hij
Why'd you throw poop at my face?
[04:32] Gin
I didn't. It got sucked in to your face like
it was going home to where it belonged.
[04:36] Hij
Whose face are you calling a toilet?!
[04:38] Hij
I'm gonna kill him for sure.
[04:40] Hij
Wait, Toshi.
[04:41] Tet
Gin-san...
[04:42] Gin
Stay away.
[04:43] Gin
This is a real-sword fight.
Keep your noses out of it.
[04:47] Tet
Gin-san, this is no time for that.
[04:49] Shin
She's right. Even if you want
to fight, your sword's gone.
[04:52] Gin
But I have a sword right here.
[04:54] Gin
The best sword and wielder in the universe?
[04:57] Gin
What's so scary about that?
All they can do is cut.
[05:02] Gin
We're the dullest sword and the man with
the most constipated ass in the universe.
[05:08] Gin
Not even you can cut us down.
[05:10] Shin
All we've got is negatives!
[05:12] Kus
G-Gintoki-han!
[05:14] Gin
Maganagi...
[05:15] Gin
No matter how much you corner them,
[05:18] Gin
you can't sever the bond between Kusanagi
and Scabberina, between husband and wife.
[05:23] Sca
So-kun!
[05:25] Sca
What's wrong, So-kun?!
[05:27] Shin
It's already severed, though!
She's not worried about us at all!
[05:31] Gin
Even if you lose your memories, the
vow between husband and wife...
[05:36] Gin
The depraved memories of the
they exchanged thousands of times
[05:39] Gin
will never vanish from their bodies!
[05:41] Shin*
In the end, they're only
linked by dirty things!
[05:44] Mag
Fool. If you fight at such close range,
[05:48] Mag
you'll be forced to step deep
into your enemy's reach.
[05:51] Mag
And once I'm awakened, any sword within
my reach is rendered dull and useless!
[05:56] Kus
No! Don't touch him!
[05:58] Kus
If you touch him right now,
I'll be cannibalized!
[06:01] Kus
Gintoki-han!
[06:05] Gin
Don't touch the sword? Are you stupid?
[06:08] Gin
That's obvious in a real-sword fight.
[06:11] Kon
No way. He's seeing through
all of Sogo's moves.
[06:15] Gin
You probably don't get it since
you change bodies all the time.
[06:19] Gin
But for us, it's all over if
we get cut by a sword once.
[06:21] Gin
We won't get anything done
if we hesitate, though.
[06:24] Gin
When it comes to real-sword fights,
[06:26] Gin
only those crazy enough to walk into mortal
danger bare-handed are cut out for it.
[06:32] Gin
Right, Okita-kun?
[06:33] Gin
Actually, you're not him.
[06:35] Gin
His moves aren't this easy to read.
[06:39] Gin
What did you even take over his body for?
[06:43] Mag
You little!
[06:46] Gin
I don't know or care how many
blades you've eaten in your life.
[06:50] Gin
But I know that I've beaten
many more than that!
[07:00] Kus
C-Crap... Gintoki-han, I can't go on.
[07:04] Kus
Th-The Viagra's effects r-ran out.
[07:08] Gin
Huh? Wait a second!
[07:11] Gin
You can't pull that now! And I don't
remember giving you any Viagra!
[07:15] Kus
Shaddup! I told ya my speed's all I got!
[07:20] Kus
This is all yer fault for
draggin' out the foreplay!
[07:23] Gin
My foreplay doesn't take too long,
you broken bastard!
[07:25] Gin
Get it up already! This is way
worse than just being dull!
[07:28] Gin
You're basically a soggy Curl snack now!
[07:30] Kag
Don't worry, Gin-chan! The cheese
flavor is good even when soggy!
[07:34] Gin
You keep your mouth shut!
[07:37] Mag
You let the chance of a lifetime slip.
[07:40] Mag
Thanks for your helpful advice!
[07:47] Gin
His moves are getting sharper!
[07:49] Mag
Did you think I can only
control the body, the vessel?
[07:54] Mag
My belly is filled with the experience
and tactics of everyone I've eaten.
[08:00] Mag
By the time I get used to this body,
[08:03] Mag
I'll bring out more power
than it originally had.
[08:06] Mag
You know why?
[08:07] Mag
Because I've eaten and beaten more
blades than you could ever hope to!
[08:15] Gin
Guess he's not called a
cursed sword for nothing.
[08:18] Shin
Th-This is bad.
[08:19] Shin
He has to avoid contact with the blade.
And Kusanagi-san's all limp, to boot!
[08:22] Gin
I've gotta do something, or I'll lose here.
[08:26] Shin
Gin-san!
[08:30] Sca
That's enough! Stop it, you two!
[08:33] Kus
S-Scabberina.
[08:35] Mag
Oh?
[08:36] Sca
Stop fighting over me.
[08:40] Sca
I can't bear to watch So-kun
getting hurt anymore!
[08:44] Kus
Wh-What're ya sayin', Scabberina?
[08:47] Kus
Th-That ain't your sword or So-kun.
[08:51] Kus
That's Cursed Sword Maganagi,
the one who put us through hell!
[08:55] Sca
Shut it, geezer! I don't give
a flying rat's ass about you!
[08:59] Sca
All I care about is So-kun's safety.
[09:02] Kus
S-Scabberina...
[09:04] Kus
Did ya forget about not
just me, but Maganagi, too?
[09:09] Sca
I beg you, So-kun. Please stop...
[09:16] Kus
Scabberina!
[09:17] Kus
Maganagi, you bastard!
[09:20] Mag
Kusanagi, it seems your blade isn't
the only thing that's gone dull.
[09:26] Mag
That girl hasn't forgotten a thing.
[09:30] Mag
She hasn't forgotten
anything about you or me.
[09:34] Mag
She just never knew.
[09:36] Kus
She never knew? What do ya mean?
[09:39] Mag
Haven't you figured it out yet?
[09:41] Mag
That scabbard isn't yours or mine.
[09:46] Mag
It's your daughter, Scarlett.
[09:50] Kus
Say what?
[09:52] Tet
What does he mean, daughter?
How do they give birth?
[09:54] Mag
I don't blame you for mistaking her.
[09:56] Mag
Scarlett does look exactly
like a younger version of her.
[10:01] Mag
Scabberina was already pregnant with
your daughter when you were separated.
[10:08] Mag
And she raised her all by herself,
[10:10] Mag
believing that you three would
live as a family again one day.
[10:16] Mag
But she was a single mother.
[10:18] Mag
It wasn't easy for a scabbard
without a sword to protect her child.
[10:22] Mag
So she chose to survive by housing
all kinds of other swords,
[10:28] Mag
even if it meant betraying her husband.
[10:33] Mag
But by then, she was already
drained and exhausted.
[10:38] Kus
Wh-Why? Why do ya know all this?!
[10:42] Mag
Isn't that obvious? It's because I
saved her from the hell she was in.
[10:47] Mag
In the place of a dullard
who never came to help her,
[10:51] Mag
I freed Scabberina from her suffering.
[10:55] Kus
D-Don't tell me, ya...
[10:58] Mag
The reason I'm here right now
is to keep my promise to her.
[11:05] (Flashback) Sca
I don't care what happens to me.
[11:07] (Flashback) Sca
But please help those two meet.
[11:10] (Flashback) Sca
Even just one look will do. Let him
see his daughter alive and well.
[11:18] (Flashback) Sen
One look? Do I seem that heartless to you?
[11:25] Mag
I'll bring your entire family together.
[11:28] Mag
All three of you can meet in my belly.
[11:32] Kus
Maganagi, you...
[11:37] Gin
K-Kusanagi!
[11:39] Gin
Don't tell me, back then?
[11:41] Gin
Didn't I tell you? From the moment you
tricked me, your fates were sealed.
[11:47] Kus
W-Wait, Maganagi!
[11:49] Mag
Fret not. I'll send your
daughter after you at once.
[11:54] Mag
Resent your own dull blade if you must.
[11:57] Mag
Curse your foolishness for
daring to defy me, Maganagi.
[12:02] Kus
Don't!
[12:03] Kus
Stop it, Maganagi!
[12:17] Kus
Stop it, Maganagi!
[12:20] Kus
Leave her alone!
[12:22] Kus
Leave our... Leave our daughter alone!
[12:29] Shin
Kusanagi-san!
[12:35] Mag
This is the end...
[12:39] Mag
I can't move?
[12:41] Oki
Hold up. You're jumping the gun.
[12:47] Oki
It's too early to go back into the scabbard.
[12:50] Mag
Y-You...
[12:52] Kon
S-Sogo?
[12:54] Mag
How are you still here? I consumed your mind!
[13:00] Mag
Th-The scabbard's... This can't be.
[13:05] Mag
I, Maganagi, cannot control this man?
[13:10] Oki
The duel isn't over yet.
[13:14] Oki
They're not done yet.
[13:23] Mag
What are you...
[13:25] Mag
What do you plan to do with
just that rotting, dull blade?
[13:29] Mag
Kusanagi is already dead.
Everything is all over.
[13:34] Mag
The scabbard he was looking
for is long gone, too.
[13:38] Mag
You people lost to me, Maganagi.
[13:42] Gin
Oh, but there's a scabbard right here.
[13:45] Gin
Can't you see it?
[13:47] Gin
Can't you see the scabbard that continued
to protect her sword even when separated?
[13:52] Gin
Can't you see this great scabbard that
protected her husband and daughter to the end?
[13:58] Gin
No matter how many times
his blade crumbles away,
[14:00] Gin
his soul doesn't have a single scratch on it.
[14:04] Gin
With a true masterpiece,
even if its blade chips away,
[14:09] Gin
it can be reforged over and over
as long as its core doesn't break.
[14:12] Gin
It can be reborn over and over
as long as it's doused in flames.
[14:15] Gin
The flame hasn't gone out, Kusanagi.
[14:19] Gin
My flame of life is still burning bright!
[14:24] Kag
Gin-chan!
[14:26] Mag
I-Impossible! He stuck the
sword into his own butt?
[14:29] Mag
C-Could that man be...
[14:31] Gin
I'll let you suck me dry
one last time, dumbass.
[14:35] Gin
Drink as much of my boiling
blood as you want!
[14:39] Mag
No! He's feeding his own blood to Kusanagi?!
[14:44] Mag
Is he trying to revive the sword?
[14:47] Mag
Doesn't that man care about his own life?
[14:52] Oki
He's such a messed-up samurai.
[14:55] Oki
Forget protecting himself with a sword.
[14:57] Oki
He himself became a scabbard
that protects his sword.
[15:03] Oki
Interesting.
[15:05] Oki
Boss really
[15:09] Oki
is interesting.
[15:11] Kon
S-Sogo!
[15:12] Mag
Wh-What are you doing?!
[15:15] Oki
A duel has to be fair, or it'll be boring.
[15:18] Oki
You can dig in if you're hungry, too.
[15:21] Oki
If you can consume me, that is.
[15:28] Mag
Fine! I'll devour every last bit of you!
[15:40] All
Gin-san!
[15:41] Bo
Sogo!
[16:10] Shin
Gin-san... Okita-san...
[16:15] Kus
Maganagi, looks like we both found
ourselves some fine scabbards.
[16:22] Mag
No doubt.
[16:30] Mag
Looks like I was the dull one all along...
[16:50] Gin
You...
[16:51] Oki
Boss, let's fight with no
distractions next time.
[16:56] Shin
Gin-san! Kusanagi-san!
[16:59] Kag
You did it! You really did it!
[17:02] Shin
You won! Kusanagi-san won!
[17:05] Kus
Yeah. It's all thanks to ya guys.
[17:09] Kus
Thank ya so much for makin' me
a masterpiece right at the very end.
[17:18] Shin
K-Kusanagi-san?
[17:20] Shin
How? Why?
[17:22] Kus
It's fine. I've been runnin'
on fumes for a long time.
[17:27] Kus
I was always prepared for this.
[17:31] Kus
Scabberina laid down her life
ta protect our daughter.
[17:34] Kus
If I didn't do the same,
how could I face her in heaven?
[17:41] Shin
Why are you being so negative?
[17:44] Shin
You finally met your daughter!
[17:46] Shin
Are you gonna leave her behind
without introducing yourself?!
[17:54] Kus
She grew up inta a fine woman.
She really is just like Scabberina.
[18:01] Kus
I got ta see that beautiful scabbard
with my own eyes one more time.
[18:07] Kus
I'm satisfied with that.
[18:12] Kus
She shouldn't have ta live with the death
of a dad who she'd never seen before.
[18:20] Kus
She shouldn't need ta bear that cross.
[18:24] Kus
As long as she lives strong
with a smile on her face,
[18:27] Kus
that's enough for Scabberina and me.
[18:33] Kus
So please...
[18:36] Kus
I beg ya...
[18:42] Kus
Could ya put me ta rest
in that lump of ironsand?
[18:48] Kus
In that excaliburling grave,
where I'm sure Scabberina's resting, too.
[18:56] Kag
Kusanagi...
[19:03] Kag
Gin-chan.
[19:05] Gin
Even if you don't exchange any words,
[19:08] Gin
even when you're far apart,
[19:11] Gin
there are some things you just can't sever.
[19:14] Gin
Not by such a dull sword, anyway.
[19:17] Gin
You guys will always be connected.
And we'll always be connected to you.
[19:24] Kus
Gintoki-han, thank you.
[19:29] Kus
I'm truly glad I got ta meet
scabbards like you in the end.
SIGN Smithy
[19:54] Sac
Gee, So-kun, are you really
gonna buy a new sword for me?
[19:59] Oki
Maybe 'cause I kept wielding strange swords,
[20:02] Oki
I don't feel like using a normal one anymore.
[20:05] Oki
You too, right? An ordinary Kikuichimonji
can't satisfy you anymore, right?
[20:10] Oki
You'd prefer one with pearls
or one that vibrates, right?
[20:14] Sac
Eek, So-kun, you perv.
[20:17] Tet
I'm sorry, but we don't
sell such filthy swords.
[20:21] Oki
That so?
[20:23] Oki
And here I thought you picked up some pearls.
[20:27] Oki
Ever since that day, the four of you
[20:29] Oki
were stuck to the ground there,
desperately picking up something.
[20:35] Tet
It was just gravel.
[20:38] Tet
But mixed in with that gravel is iron
that's far more valuable than pearls.
[20:44] Tet
I'm going to use it all to forge a sword.
[20:48] Oki
That sounds like a pain.
[20:51] Oki
Well, let me know when you're done.
[20:54] Tet
Are you sure?
[20:56] Tet
I bet it's going to be the
dullest sword in the universe.
[20:59] Oki
Yeah. It doesn't have to cut anything.
[21:07] Oki
Because I'm sure the sword and scabbard
are never gonna leave each other again.
SIGN Sneak Peek
SIGN The Bloody Shinsengumi Records
[21:23] Oki
Hey, Hijikata.
[21:26] Oki
Go get me some yakisoba bread.
[21:29] Mit
So-chan!
[21:31] Mit
Be polite when speaking to your superiors.
[21:35] Oki
I'm sorry, Sister.
[21:41] Oki
Hey, Hijikata.
[21:42] Oki
Go get me some esteemed yakisoba bread.
[21:45] Mit
Well done.
[21:49] Hij
Uh, that wasn't all that different.
SIGN The End
SIGN Preview
[23:24] Shin
Otsu-chan will show up next episode!
[23:26] Shin
You all remember that I'm the captain
of the Terakado Otsu fan club, right?
[23:30] Shin
Right?
SIGN Wash Your Hands Before a Handshake
[23:31] Shin
Next time: "Wash Your
Hands Before a Handshake."
[23:34] Shin
Wash up well, Takachin!
SIGN Preview
SIGN Preview
SIGN Beginning Soon
SIGN The Final Arc
[23:43] Gin
We've got you covered.
[23:44] Gin
From walking your dog to keeping Earth safe,
[23:47] Gin
we Odd Jobs will do anything.
SIGN Silver Soul Arc
SIGN Production is smoothly
SIGN you-know-what.
SIGN The final arc was in a situation much like
SIGN a restaurant that doesn't get any orders.
SIGN But it's not like we forgot about it.
SIGN There were just some adult issues at play.