E334 - 3000 Leagues in Search of a Scabbard

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] G
    Who goes there?
[00:14] G
    You must be Senbe the Manslayer.
[00:18] G
    Prepare to go down!
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Slip Arc
[02:05] Tet
    This is a great sword.
SIGN    Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room
    and at a safe distance from your TV!
[02:07] Tet
    It's nameless, but sharp.
[02:09] Tet
    Looks like it ran wild with 
    its wielder in the past,
[02:12] Tet
    but it's being taken care of now.
[02:15] Tet
    Must belong to a retired general.
[02:18] Shin
    Tetsuko-san, that sword is actually a
    memento of Otose-san's late husband.
[02:23] Tet
    Oh...
SIGN    Smithy
[02:25] Tet
    I'll deliver it nice and sharpened tomorrow.
[02:27] Tet
    I'm sure it wants to go home soon, too.
[02:30] Kag
    Tetsuko, you can talk to
    swords? You're amazing!
[02:35] Tet
    It's not like that.
[02:36] Kag
    What about that one? What's it saying?
[02:42] Tet
    The number of battles it's gone through
    and the amount of blood it has spilled
[02:45] Tet
    is way higher than any other sword.
[02:48] Tet
    But it's been used as a weight for cup
    ramen way more than any other sword, too.
[02:52] Gin
    Man, I feel so much better.
[02:52] Tet
    Perhaps due to its poor treatment,
    I can see it shrouded in malice.
[02:54] Gin
    I thought I was gonna wet myself.
[02:56] Kag
    Malice?
[02:57] Tet
    Yes. Rather than the blood of enemies,
[03:00] Tet
    it thirsts for the blood of its wielder.
[03:03] Kag
    Wow, you're right!
[03:04] Shin
    You can tell when a sword
    looks down on its wielder?
[03:07] Shin
    That's our master swordsmith!
[03:08] Kag
    Though to be honest, we knew that, too.
[03:12] Gin
    Master swordsmith, my ass!
[03:14] Gin
    Why's a drawn sword just
    laying around right there?
[03:17] Gin
    Should a smithy be treating
    her products so badly?
[03:20] Tet
    What's this sword?
[03:22] Tet
    I don't remember it.
[03:24] Gin
    Don't play dumb.
[03:25] Gin
    Are you saying it came here by itself
    to get a massage? To rub one out?
[03:29] Shin
    This is a smithy! Not a brothel!
[03:32] Kag
    Maybe it got kicked out of its
    scabbard due to its low salary.
[03:35] Kag
    Tetsuko, you should hear
    out its complaints, too.
[03:37] Tet
    Uh, complaints?
[03:39] Gin
    Even I could hear those out.
[03:42] Gin
    You seem really up for this, sir.
[03:43] Gin
    Look at you, all naked
    before we even get started.
[03:46] Gin
    Your scabbard may have dumped you,
    but I'll make you forget about it all tonight.
[03:51] Gin
    And then, you can get a fresh start as
    a wok in Gin-san's place tomorrow.
[03:56] Tet
    Hey, wait!
[03:57] Gin
    Got that, Tetsuko? Make us a nice wok.
[03:59] Shin
    What are you doing? We don't
    even know whose sword it is yet!
[04:03] Gin
    Didn't you hear it?
    It's sick of cutting things.
[04:06] Gin
    It wants to stop hurting people
    and start frying rice instead.
[04:09] Gin
    We don't have a pan, so this is perfect.
[04:11] Shin
    You need a fresh start more
    than it does, you bum!
[04:14] Gin
    Ah, I don't know why, but I think I
    can hear the sword crying out in joy.
[04:19] Shin
    Uh, sorry,
[04:20] Shin
    but we can hear it, too.
[04:23] Shin
    I don't know about crying out in joy.
    This sounds more like dying screams.
[04:27] Gin
    Huh? You can hear that, too?
[04:32] Kus
    Bro...
[04:35] Kus
    Whaddya think yer doin' ta me?
[04:36] Kus
    Want me ta suck yer blood up?!
[04:44] Shin
    Gin-san?!
SIGN    3000 Leagues in Search of a Scabbard
SIGN    Smithy
[04:53] Kus
    Yeesh.
[04:55] Kus
    There's no tellin' what
    samurai these days get up ta.
[04:59] Kus
    How scary.
[05:01] Kus
    If I were any other sword, I woulda snapped.
[05:03] Kus
    Be more careful. Most swords'll
    lash out at the drop of a hat.
[05:06] Kus
    Ya won't find many blunt,
    gentle ones like me.
[05:09] Tet
    S-Sorry about that.
[05:13] Kus
    Well, as long as ya learned yer lesson.
[05:16] Kus
    I'm not yellin' at ya 'cause I want ta.
[05:18] Kus
    Thankfully, nobody got hurt,
[05:20] Kus
    so let's call this water under the bridge.
[05:24] Kus
    Well, thanks for the yummy tea. Take care.
[05:28] Gin
    Like hell! I totally got hurt here!
[05:31] Gin
    How long are you gonna stay stuck in my ass?
[05:33] Gin
    And what the hell are you, anyway?
[05:37] Gin
    What's with this thing? I can't get it out!
[05:40] Kus
    Yer wastin' yer time, bro. We're a pair now.
[05:43] Kus
    I finally found ya, my scabbard.
    I ain't never lettin' ya go.
[05:46] Gin
    Did you just call my butthole a scabbard?
[05:47] Shin
    Calm down, both of you. Calm down.
[05:50] Gin
    How can I? I've got a sword in my ass!
[05:53] Kag
    Oh, just shut up and sit down.
[05:57] Shin
    P-Planet Excalibur?
[06:00] Kus
    Aye. Believe it or not, I'm an actual Amanto,
[06:03] Kus
    Kusanagi from Planet Excalibur.
[06:06] Tet
    K-Kusanagi-san?
[06:08] Kus
    I may be loiterin' about butt-naked
    without a scabbard now,
[06:11] Kus
    but when I was young, I was a famous sword.
[06:14] Shin
    Uh, could you stop talking about
    loitering butt-naked with that name?
[06:17] Kus
    Us excaliburlings have bodies
    made of liquid metal.
[06:20] Kus
    In other words, we can transform
    inta anythin' we wanna be.
[06:24] Kus
    We've transformed inta all kinds of weapons
[06:26] Kus
    and taken part in wars on all
    kinds of planets as mercenaries.
[06:31] Kus
    I came ta Earth a long time
    ago when I smelled war here.
[06:36] Kus
    Ever since, me and my wife Scabberina
    had been livin' as a very lovin' couple.
[06:40] Shin
    Who the hell is Scabberina?
[06:42] Shin
    Was your scabbard your wife?
[06:44] Kus
    She was too good for me, I say.
[06:47] Kus
    She always welcomed me
    back with a warm smile.
[06:52] Kus
    And back then, I was young, too.
[06:54] Kus
    I thrust in and out of
    her several times a day.
[06:57] Shin
    Stop moving like that. What are you saying?
[06:59] Shin
    Is it what I think it is?
[07:00] Kag
    If you had such a beloved scabbard,
    why are you naked now, Member Kusanagi?
[07:04] Shin
    Stop calling him that!
[07:06] Tet
    A sword and its scabbard are as one.
[07:08] Tet
    They're like SM*P, which only functions
    when all its members are present.
[07:11] Shin
    You two are doing this
    on purpose, aren't you?!
[07:13] Kus
    As time passed and I grew
    older, I lost my edge.
[07:19] Kus
    Our owner put us up for sale at a pawn shop.
[07:23] Kus
    For some reason, a buyer
    was found immediately,
[07:25] Kus
    but I was dumped in a ditch.
[07:28] Kus
    The buyer only wanted the
    beautiful Scabberina, not me.
[07:34] Kus
    For decades since then,
    I've been lookin' for her,
[07:38] Kus
    but I still have no idea where she is now.
[07:41] Kus
    I went from smithy ta smithy,
    hopin' ta meet a good scabbard,
[07:45] Kus
    but that was a swing and a miss, too.
[07:47] Tet
    So that's why you came to me?
[07:49] Kus
    I lost my owner and my partner
    'cause I was so dull.
[07:52] Kus
    So I gotta take them back
    with my own hands...
[07:57] Kus
    The bright light from those days,
    and my beloved other half.
[08:02] Kus
    But I know from the bottom of my blade that
    I can't do anythin' as a lone dull blade.
[08:07] Kus
    Doesn't matter if it's just a temporary
    home. I need an owner, a scabbard!
[08:11] Kus
    I beg of ya, lend me yer ass for a while.
[08:15] Kus
    C'mon, please.
[08:18] Shin
    Okay! Come one, come all!
[08:21] Shin
    Is the sword on your hip a
    treasure that brings good luck
[08:25] Shin
    or a curse that brings misfortune?
[08:28] Shin
    Don't you want to know?
SIGN    Sword Fortune Telling
[08:30] Kag
    Edo's best swordsmith, Murata Tetsuko,
    will ascertain your sword's quality!
[08:36] Shin
    And we're willing to bleed
    money on the first day!
[08:39] Shin
    We'll look at your swords for free today!
[08:41] Shin
    First come, first served!
[08:43] Kus
    You guys...
[08:45] Tet
    In truth, we want to check out not
    the swords, but their scabbards.
[08:49] Kus
    Instead of just givin' me this
    filthy ass, you'd go so far for me?
[08:54] Tet
    I'm not doing this for you.
[08:56] Tet
    I'm a swordsmith.
[08:58] Tet
    When there's a rusty sword of
    repute lying in front of me,
[09:01] Tet
    do you really think I could
    stop myself from sharpening it?
[09:03] Kus
    T-Tetsuko-han!
[09:07] Tet
    I'll lend you as many filthy asses as
    you want, so just shut up and sit tight.
[09:12] Kus
    Sorry. I forgot I was lugging
    this filthy ass around.
[09:18] Gin
    Who do you think this filthy ass belongs to?
[09:20] Gin
    What gives you guys the right to
    decide the fate of my filthy ass?
[09:23] Gin
    Wait, whose ass are you calling filthy?
[09:25] Shin
    Not like we have a choice.
[09:26] Shin
    He says he won't leave your
    ass until he finds a home.
[09:30] Kag
    If you wanna be freed, we gotta
    find his separated scabbard.
[09:34] Gin
    Quit messing—
[09:35] Shin
    Oh, by the way, excaliburlings
    are vampiric in nature.
[09:39] Shin
    If you do anything stupid...
[09:41] Kus
    Want me to suck up the
    blood from yer entire body?
[09:45] Gin
    Excuse me.
[09:47] Gin
    Would you like to be the
    scabbard for my sword?
[09:51] G
    Eek!
[09:53] Kus
    C'mon, bro. Yer makin' yer
    ulterior motives too obvious.
[09:56] Kus
    Ya'll never find me a scabbard like that.
[09:58] Gin
    I don't wanna hear that from the one
    sticking butt-naked into my butt.
[10:01] Kus
    Just watch me.
[10:03] Kus
    Hey, lady.
[10:04] Kus
    Want me to suck yer ********* ?
[10:06] G
    Eek!
[10:08] Gin*
    I'll kill your blunt ass!
[10:10] Gin
    Why are you getting me beaten up?
[10:12] Gin
    Why do I have to do this?
[10:14] Kus
    Crap, I messed up. Shoulda gone
    with "please suck my ****."
[10:17] Shin
    What kind of scabbard are you looking for?!
[10:19] Shin
    Nobody cares about the swords in your pants!
[10:21] Shin
    Stick them in Tasty Stick
    packaging or something!
[10:24] Shin
    Aren't you looking for your wife Scabberina?
[10:27] Shin
    Why are you trying to sneakily
    find a new scabbard?
[10:30] Shin
    Take this more seriously!
[10:32] Shin
    If you wanna find customers, talk
    to people who are carrying swords!
[10:37] Gin
    Ow, ow... Hey, what are you doing?
[10:41] Kus
    N-Nah, i-it a-ain't me.
[10:42] Kus
    Th-This is resonance.
[10:45] Gin
    What?
[10:46] Kus
    O-One of my own is nearby.
[10:49] Shin
    Huh? Could it be Scabberina?
[10:51] Kus
    N-Nah.
[10:53] Sen
    Is it true that you're ascertaining
    the quality of swords?
[10:57] Sen
    I'd love it if you could check mine as well.
[11:00] Sen
    What do you see?
[11:02] Sen
    Do you hear the screams of
    all the people I've cut down?
[11:06] Sen
    Or do you hear the sound of all
    the swords he's devoured breaking?
[11:14] Sen
    Whoops, looks like we
    have an unwanted visitor.
[11:17] Sen
    I'll come back some other time.
[11:19] Sen
    I'm sure we'll meet again.
[11:23] Gin
    What was with that guy?
[11:25] Shin
    Are you sure, Kusanagi-san?
[11:27] Shin
    That was an excaliburling, too, right?
[11:30] Shin
    They might've known
    something about Scabberina.
[11:34] Shin
    N-No way... He'd come ta this planet, too?
[11:38] Shin
    N-Never get involved with
    that guy. He's bad news.
[11:41] Shin
    Kusanagi-san?
[11:42] Gin
    Hey, knock it off. My
    ass can't take any more.
[11:45] Gin
    You're not resonating, are you?
    You're just trembling in fear!
[11:46] Oki
    Damn, he got away.
[11:49] Oki
    Welp, if I go back empty-handed,
    Hijikata-san will yell at me.
[11:54] Oki
    Whatever. There's a perfect replacement.
[11:56] Oki
    Boss, your usual wooden sword is one thing,
[11:59] Oki
    but we can't have you carrying
    that around during the sword ban.
[12:02] Oki
    You're under arrest for a Swords and
    Firearms Act violation and public indecency.
[12:07] Gin
    What? Wait, this isn't what you think!
[12:09] Gin
    Hey, stop clattering and say something!
[12:13] Kus
    You got it wrong. I ain't tremblin'.
[12:17] Kus
    I-I found her... I finally found her.
[12:20] Kus
    That bro's scabbard...
    That beautiful scabbard...
[12:23] Kus
    There's no mistakin' it.
[12:24] Kus
    It's my wife, Scabberina!
SIGN    Special Police
    Shinsengumi
[12:32] Kon
    This is horrible.
[12:34] Kon
    Have we identified the victim?
[12:36] Hij
    Probably a Joi Rebel from some faction.
[12:39] Kon
    The body's in tatters. Is it him again?
[12:43] Hij
    No doubt about it.
[12:44] Hij
    The massive cut that couldn't
    be inflicted by any mere human,
[12:48] Hij
    the sword that seems like it
    was ripped off at the hilt...
[12:52] Hij
    It has to be Senbe the Manslayer.
[12:55] Kon
    The mad sword that had bakufu
    officials trembling in the past
[13:00] Kon
    is now being used to shed the
    blood of his own comrades?
[13:04] Hij
    I'm perfectly okay with those
    mites killing each other.
[13:07] Hij
    But this bothers me.
[13:10] Hij
    It's unthinkable that a man could've
    done this. What purpose does it serve?
[13:15] Hij
    I heard a strange rumor.
[13:17] Hij
    Apparently, before Senbe betrayed his group,
[13:19] Hij
    he picked up a creepy black
    sword from somewhere.
[13:24] Kon
    A sword?
[13:25] Hij
    Ever since he did, he became a different
    person and obsessed over it.
[13:29] Hij
    He started acting strangely,
    like talking to the sword at times.
[13:33] Kon
    Are you saying his objective isn't
    slaying men, but the swords?
[13:41] Kon
    Sure you're not overthinking this?
[13:43] Hij
    I sure hope so.
[13:45] Hij
    But I've been put through
    hell by a sword, too.
[13:49] Kon
    That reminds me. I saw Sogo talking
    to his sword recently, too.
[13:54] Kon
    He might suddenly become a serial
    killer too, or something!
[14:01] Oki
    Oh, Hijikata-san.
[14:02] Oki
    Sorry, but I'm borrowing your
    room to take this guy apart.
[14:09] Hij
    Huh? What was that just now?
[14:11] Kon
    What did he mean, take apart?
    What was that we just saw?
[14:13] Hij
    Wait, Sogo!
[14:13] Hij
    No! Please no!
[14:14] Kon
    What are you doing in my room?
[14:21] Hij
    Finally got it out.
[14:22] Oki
    This won't do, boss.
[14:24] Kus
    You gotta be more gentle with elders.
[14:26] Oki
    Man, that was one hell of a surprise.
[14:29] Oki
    I didn't expect someone other
    than me to own an excalibur.
[14:32] Oki
    That's the boss. A real connoisseur.
[14:35] Shin
    Gin-san, you can finally kiss
    goodbye to playing scabbard.
[14:38] Kus
    Thank ya so much for
    lending me yer filthy ass.
[14:42] Tet
    No problem. We're glad this
    filthy ass was of use.
[14:45] Kag
    Yeah. If you don't mind that
    filthy ass, come hang out again.
[14:49] Oki
    Er, I'm not sure I follow.
[14:53] Oki
    Are we bidding farewell to the boss's ass?
[14:55] Tet
    The thing is, the scabbard holding your sword
[14:58] Tet
    is apparently Kusanagi-san's
    long separated wife.
[15:01] Tet
    So if possible, we'd like to send
    him back to his original home.
[15:09] Kus
    Scabberina, you've been silent all this while.
[15:13] Kus
    You must be mad, right?
[15:14] Kus
    I'm truly sorry!
[15:15] Kus
    I caused ya so much pain
    'cause I was so weak!
[15:20] Kus
    But it's all right now.
[15:22] Kus
    I swear ta protect ya.
[15:24] Kus
    I'll never let ya go again.
[15:25] Kus
    Could we make a fresh
    start as one sword again?
[15:33] Sca
    Who're you, anyway?
[15:36] Sca
    Could somebody tell me what's going on?
[15:39] Sca
    Did he just propose to me out
    of the blue? That's messed up!
[15:42] Sca
    Who's this old fart? I'm scared, So-kun!
[15:45] Shin
    Huh?
[15:46] Kus
    What're ya talkin' about,
    Scabberina? It's me, Kusanagi!
[15:50] Kus
    Did ya have ta wait so long
    that ya forgot about me?
[15:54] Kag
    Hey, Member Kusanagi.
    Did you get the wrong Scabberina?
[15:57] Kus
    Nah! I'd never mistake her!
[15:59] Kus
    Right, Scabberina?
[16:00] Oki
    Uh...
[16:02] Oki
    Maybe you shouldn't dredge
    up the past after so long.
[16:06] Oki
    Everyone has memories they
    don't want to remember.
[16:10] Kus
    Wh-What's that supposed ta mean?
[16:13] Oki
    It means time has passed.
[16:16] Oki
    She's living a new chapter in her life now.
[16:19] Oki
    With me. Right, Scarlett?
[16:22] Sca
    Stop it, So-kun! People are watching!
[16:25] Kus
    Who're you callin' Scarlett?!
[16:27] Oki
    She's happy as she is now,
    so what're you doing here?
[16:32] Oki
    Take the hint, honestly.
[16:34] Shin
    This is starting to sound like a fight
    between ex- and current boyfriends.
[16:38] Sca
    Yeah, yeah!
[16:39] Sca
    So-kun is my savior.
[16:42] Sca
    Put on sale in a New York slum,
    I waited forever for a buyer.
[16:47] Sca
    Nobody gave me a second
    glance, but he bought me.
[16:50] Shin
    New York? You were on sale in New York?!
[16:53] Sca
    A worn-out scabbard,
    and his big, hefty sword.
[16:57] Sca
    I knew he was out of my league.
[16:59] Sca
    I knew it was just a game.
    That he wouldn't get serious.
[17:02] Shin
    What is this, Pretty Woman?
[17:04] Sca
    But he's always serious when playing around
[17:07] Sca
    and always plays around when he's serious.
[17:10] Sca
    That innocence of his gradually
    thawed my frozen heart...
[17:12] Shin
    Forget playing around, he basically
    used and threw you from the start!
[17:15] Sca
    Dunno who you are, but could
    you not get in our way?
[17:19] Sca
    We're plenty happy right now.
[17:22] Kus
    S-Scabberina...
[17:24] Oki
    I don't know how it was in the past,
[17:26] Oki
    but Scarlett is now crazy for my fat
    Kikuichimonji RX-78 all the way inside.
[17:33] Sca
    Stop it, So-kun!
[17:35] Sca
    This is too embarrassing!
[17:36] Kus
    Scabberina! This can't be!
[17:40] Kus
    I won't accept this!
[17:41] Shin
    Kusanagi-san!
[17:44] Gin
    Why'd you come back here?!
[17:46] Shin
    Kusanagi-san...
[17:48] Kag
    Oh, no. He's closed himself off.
[17:51] Gin
    My butthole is what's been closed off!
[17:53] Gin
    It's gone all the way inside!
[17:55] Oki
    Well, there you have it.
[17:57] Oki
    Sorry, boss, but could you get
    that blunt ass outta here already?
[18:05] Shin
    Gin-san?!
[18:07] Shin
    And what were you guys doing? Eavesdropping?!
[18:10] All
    Aw...
[18:13] Oki
    What's the meaning of this, boss?
[18:15] Gin
    You've gotta be kidding me.
[18:17] Gin
    I'm not leaving with a lid on my ass.
[18:19] Gin
    I'm constipated enough as it is.
[18:21] Oki
    Shall I slice open your belly
    and drag your guts out for you?
[18:26] Kon
    Stop it, Sogo!
[18:27] Shin
    You too, Gin-san!
[18:28] Gin
    You guys stay out of this! This runt is mine!
[18:32] Gin
    It's only right to settle a dispute
    over swords with swords, yeah?
[18:36] Gin
    A superior scabbard
    deserves a superior sword.
[18:40] Gin
    Isn't that right, Sogo-kun?
[18:42] Oki
    You mean...
[18:43] Gin
    My sword and yours...
[18:45] Gin
    Let's have a real sword fight to see
    which deserves that scabbard more.
[18:49] Bo
    Real sword fight?!
[18:51] Oki
    Amusing. This is a chance
    I thought I'd never have.
[18:55] Kon
    Stop it!
[18:56] Kon
    If you two sadists clash,
[18:59] Kon
    your sadism will repel and you-know-what...
[19:02] Kon
    I'm a masochist!
[19:03] Hij
    Don't take the bait, Sogo. The
    Shinsengumi Code bans personal clashes.
[19:07] Gin
    Oh, really? Personal clashes aren't allowed?
[19:10] Gin
    That's weird. I remember having very
    personal clashes with a pair of morons before.
[19:14] Gin
    Oh, I see. Those were more
    like "flashes," weren't they?
[19:17] Gin
    Those two were defeated before
    I could even do anything,
[19:20] Gin
    so they were clashes that
    were over in a flash, huh?
[19:23] Kon
    The duel will take place tomorrow!
[19:25] Kon
    It'll be held in the World
    Clash Tournament venue!
SIGN    Odd Jobs Ace Sakata Gintoki vs. 
    Shinsengumi Ace Okita Sogo
    Deathmatch
[19:28] Hij
    Have your neck washed and
    ready to be chopped off!
[19:30] Kag
    Shaddup! He's not gonna wash his neck!
[19:31] Kag
    He'll wash every part of his body 
    but his neck with sponge gourd!
[19:34] Shin
    Hey, what happened to the Shinsengumi Code?!
SIGN    Smithy
[19:37] Shin
    What's wrong with you, Gin-san?
[19:39] Shin
    Why'd you challenge him to that battle?
[19:41] Gin
    It's not a battle. It's a buttle.
[19:44] Gin
    You wouldn't understand how it feels
    to have a sword stuck in your ass 24/7.
[19:49] Shin
    I get wanting to be freed of the sword,
    but you're up against Okita-san,
[19:53] Shin
    the genius swordsman said to be the
    strongest man in the Shinsengumi.
[19:56] Shin
    And he's a super sadist to boot.
[19:58] Shin
    He was one misstep away
    from being a serial killer.
[20:01] Shin
    He's a trashy scumbag whose
    good looks are all he has.
[20:03] Gin
    Shinpachi, what do you have against him?
[20:06] Kag
    Shaddup! My ace ain't
    gonna lose to that runt!
[20:11] Kag
    This guy was one misstep away
    from being a NEET scumbag, too!
[20:16] Shin
    Uh, that's not missing any steps.
    It's Gin-san as we know him now.
[20:19] Gin
    What's that supposed to mean, Shinpachi?
[20:21] Kag
    Have more faith! Everybody is one
    misstep away from being a NEET!
[20:25] Shin
    Like hell!
[20:26] Tet
    Can I ask you something?
[20:28] Tet
    You'll both use real swords
    in the buttle tomorrow, right?
[20:32] Tet
    How are you going to fight with that?
[20:36] Tet
    One, two...
[20:37] Gin
    Ow, ow, ow!
[20:40] Gin
    Wait, time out! I can't... I can't!
[20:42] Gin
    I'll become Shiina Kippei! I'll end 
    up like Shiina Kippei in Outrage!
[20:45] Kag
    Pull it out or stop? Make up your
    damn mind, you stupid Duncan!
[20:50] Gin
    They all look like villains!
    They all look like Takeshi!
[20:52] Kag
    Raise the horsepower,
    dammit, you stupid bean!
[20:56] Gin
    Wait, dammit, you stupid Gidayu...
[21:01] Kag
    All right, keep jogging toward tomorrow!
[21:04] Kag
    Eastward ho, dammit, you stupid Comaneci!
[21:06] Gin
    You're getting your priorities mixed up!
[21:08] Gin
    Enough! How long are you
    gonna stay holed up in there?
[21:12] Gin
    Just get out already!
[21:13] Kus
    No! There's no way a blunt
    sword like me could ever win!
[21:17] Kus
    I'm so blunt, I can't even rend my
    long-severed marriage or my regrets...
[21:21] Kus
    I'm just a corn potage Tasty Stick!
[21:23] Gin
    Don't casually try to be the yummy
    one, you stupid natto flavor!
[21:26] Tet
    Have more faith in yourself, Kusanagi.
[21:28] Tet
    The most important thing in a
    sword isn't its cutting edge!
[21:31] Tet
    It's the core that runs through its blade!
[21:34] Tet
    People and swords are the same.
[21:35] Tet
    Even if they run into brick walls,
    as long as their cores stay intact,
[21:38] Tet
    they can be beaten back
    into shape over and over!
[21:40] Tet
    Your love for your scabbard
    is the mark of a great sword.
[21:44] Tet
    Leave the rest to a smithy.
[21:46] Kus
    Tetsuko-han... Will you
    beat me back inta shape?
[21:55] Tet
    Don't worry. I promise to turn
    you into the most splendid sword.
[22:00] Tet
    I won't let anybody call
    you a dull ass anymore.
[22:03] Kus
    I'm countin' on ya, Tetsuko-han!
[22:05] Tet
    Sure! Here I go!
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
[23:50] Oki
    Next time: "The Super Sadist..."
[23:51] Gin
    "...and the Super Sadist."
SIGN    Huh? Another multi-episode arc?
SIGN    Yep. Another multi-episode arc.
SIGN    But after doing arcs that lasted entire cours,
SIGN    we can stick by our guns and still  call this a collection of short stories.