# E334 - 3000 Leagues in Search of a Scabbard
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G675JPK4R/3000-leagues-in-search-of-a-scabbard)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:10] G**
Who goes there?
**[00:14] G**
You must be Senbe the Manslayer.
**[00:18] G**
Prepare to go down!
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** Slip Arc
**[02:05] Tet**
This is a great sword.
***SIGN*** Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV!
**[02:07] Tet**
It's nameless, but sharp.
**[02:09] Tet**
Looks like it ran wild with
its wielder in the past,
**[02:12] Tet**
but it's being taken care of now.
**[02:15] Tet**
Must belong to a retired general.
**[02:18] Shin**
Tetsuko-san, that sword is actually a
memento of Otose-san's late husband.
**[02:23] Tet**
Oh...
***SIGN*** Smithy
**[02:25] Tet**
I'll deliver it nice and sharpened tomorrow.
**[02:27] Tet**
I'm sure it wants to go home soon, too.
**[02:30] Kag**
Tetsuko, you can talk to
swords? You're amazing!
**[02:35] Tet**
It's not like that.
**[02:36] Kag**
What about that one? What's it saying?
**[02:42] Tet**
The number of battles it's gone through
and the amount of blood it has spilled
**[02:45] Tet**
is way higher than any other sword.
**[02:48] Tet**
But it's been used as a weight for cup
ramen way more than any other sword, too.
**[02:52] Gin**
Man, I feel so much better.
**[02:52] Tet**
Perhaps due to its poor treatment,
I can see it shrouded in malice.
**[02:54] Gin**
I thought I was gonna wet myself.
**[02:56] Kag**
Malice?
**[02:57] Tet**
Yes. Rather than the blood of enemies,
**[03:00] Tet**
it thirsts for the blood of its wielder.
**[03:03] Kag**
Wow, you're right!
**[03:04] Shin**
You can tell when a sword
looks down on its wielder?
**[03:07] Shin**
That's our master swordsmith!
**[03:08] Kag**
Though to be honest, we knew that, too.
**[03:12] Gin**
Master swordsmith, my ass!
**[03:14] Gin**
Why's a drawn sword just
laying around right there?
**[03:17] Gin**
Should a smithy be treating
her products so badly?
**[03:20] Tet**
What's this sword?
**[03:22] Tet**
I don't remember it.
**[03:24] Gin**
Don't play dumb.
**[03:25] Gin**
Are you saying it came here by itself
to get a massage? To rub one out?
**[03:29] Shin**
This is a smithy! Not a brothel!
**[03:32] Kag**
Maybe it got kicked out of its
scabbard due to its low salary.
**[03:35] Kag**
Tetsuko, you should hear
out its complaints, too.
**[03:37] Tet**
Uh, complaints?
**[03:39] Gin**
Even I could hear those out.
**[03:42] Gin**
You seem really up for this, sir.
**[03:43] Gin**
Look at you, all naked
before we even get started.
**[03:46] Gin**
Your scabbard may have dumped you,
but I'll make you forget about it all tonight.
**[03:51] Gin**
And then, you can get a fresh start as
a wok in Gin-san's place tomorrow.
**[03:56] Tet**
Hey, wait!
**[03:57] Gin**
Got that, Tetsuko? Make us a nice wok.
**[03:59] Shin**
What are you doing? We don't
even know whose sword it is yet!
**[04:03] Gin**
Didn't you hear it?
It's sick of cutting things.
**[04:06] Gin**
It wants to stop hurting people
and start frying rice instead.
**[04:09] Gin**
We don't have a pan, so this is perfect.
**[04:11] Shin**
You need a fresh start more
than it does, you bum!
**[04:14] Gin**
Ah, I don't know why, but I think I
can hear the sword crying out in joy.
**[04:19] Shin**
Uh, sorry,
**[04:20] Shin**
but we can hear it, too.
**[04:23] Shin**
I don't know about crying out in joy.
This sounds more like dying screams.
**[04:27] Gin**
Huh? You can hear that, too?
**[04:32] Kus**
Bro...
**[04:35] Kus**
Whaddya think yer doin' ta me?
**[04:36] Kus**
Want me ta suck yer blood up?!
**[04:44] Shin**
Gin-san?!
***SIGN*** 3000 Leagues in Search of a Scabbard
***SIGN*** Smithy
**[04:53] Kus**
Yeesh.
**[04:55] Kus**
There's no tellin' what
samurai these days get up ta.
**[04:59] Kus**
How scary.
**[05:01] Kus**
If I were any other sword, I woulda snapped.
**[05:03] Kus**
Be more careful. Most swords'll
lash out at the drop of a hat.
**[05:06] Kus**
Ya won't find many blunt,
gentle ones like me.
**[05:09] Tet**
S-Sorry about that.
**[05:13] Kus**
Well, as long as ya learned yer lesson.
**[05:16] Kus**
I'm not yellin' at ya 'cause I want ta.
**[05:18] Kus**
Thankfully, nobody got hurt,
**[05:20] Kus**
so let's call this water under the bridge.
**[05:24] Kus**
Well, thanks for the yummy tea. Take care.
**[05:28] Gin**
Like hell! I totally got hurt here!
**[05:31] Gin**
How long are you gonna stay stuck in my ass?
**[05:33] Gin**
And what the hell are you, anyway?
**[05:37] Gin**
What's with this thing? I can't get it out!
**[05:40] Kus**
Yer wastin' yer time, bro. We're a pair now.
**[05:43] Kus**
I finally found ya, my scabbard.
I ain't never lettin' ya go.
**[05:46] Gin**
Did you just call my butthole a scabbard?
**[05:47] Shin**
Calm down, both of you. Calm down.
**[05:50] Gin**
How can I? I've got a sword in my ass!
**[05:53] Kag**
Oh, just shut up and sit down.
**[05:57] Shin**
P-Planet Excalibur?
**[06:00] Kus**
Aye. Believe it or not, I'm an actual Amanto,
**[06:03] Kus**
Kusanagi from Planet Excalibur.
**[06:06] Tet**
K-Kusanagi-san?
**[06:08] Kus**
I may be loiterin' about butt-naked
without a scabbard now,
**[06:11] Kus**
but when I was young, I was a famous sword.
**[06:14] Shin**
Uh, could you stop talking about
loitering butt-naked with that name?
**[06:17] Kus**
Us excaliburlings have bodies
made of liquid metal.
**[06:20] Kus**
In other words, we can transform
inta anythin' we wanna be.
**[06:24] Kus**
We've transformed inta all kinds of weapons
**[06:26] Kus**
and taken part in wars on all
kinds of planets as mercenaries.
**[06:31] Kus**
I came ta Earth a long time
ago when I smelled war here.
**[06:36] Kus**
Ever since, me and my wife Scabberina
had been livin' as a very lovin' couple.
**[06:40] Shin**
Who the hell is Scabberina?
**[06:42] Shin**
Was your scabbard your wife?
**[06:44] Kus**
She was too good for me, I say.
**[06:47] Kus**
She always welcomed me
back with a warm smile.
**[06:52] Kus**
And back then, I was young, too.
**[06:54] Kus**
I thrust in and out of
her several times a day.
**[06:57] Shin**
Stop moving like that. What are you saying?
**[06:59] Shin**
Is it what I think it is?
**[07:00] Kag**
If you had such a beloved scabbard,
why are you naked now, Member Kusanagi?
**[07:04] Shin**
Stop calling him that!
**[07:06] Tet**
A sword and its scabbard are as one.
**[07:08] Tet**
They're like SM*P, which only functions
when all its members are present.
**[07:11] Shin**
You two are doing this
on purpose, aren't you?!
**[07:13] Kus**
As time passed and I grew
older, I lost my edge.
**[07:19] Kus**
Our owner put us up for sale at a pawn shop.
**[07:23] Kus**
For some reason, a buyer
was found immediately,
**[07:25] Kus**
but I was dumped in a ditch.
**[07:28] Kus**
The buyer only wanted the
beautiful Scabberina, not me.
**[07:34] Kus**
For decades since then,
I've been lookin' for her,
**[07:38] Kus**
but I still have no idea where she is now.
**[07:41] Kus**
I went from smithy ta smithy,
hopin' ta meet a good scabbard,
**[07:45] Kus**
but that was a swing and a miss, too.
**[07:47] Tet**
So that's why you came to me?
**[07:49] Kus**
I lost my owner and my partner
'cause I was so dull.
**[07:52] Kus**
So I gotta take them back
with my own hands...
**[07:57] Kus**
The bright light from those days,
and my beloved other half.
**[08:02] Kus**
But I know from the bottom of my blade that
I can't do anythin' as a lone dull blade.
**[08:07] Kus**
Doesn't matter if it's just a temporary
home. I need an owner, a scabbard!
**[08:11] Kus**
I beg of ya, lend me yer ass for a while.
**[08:15] Kus**
C'mon, please.
**[08:18] Shin**
Okay! Come one, come all!
**[08:21] Shin**
Is the sword on your hip a
treasure that brings good luck
**[08:25] Shin**
or a curse that brings misfortune?
**[08:28] Shin**
Don't you want to know?
***SIGN*** Sword Fortune Telling
**[08:30] Kag**
Edo's best swordsmith, Murata Tetsuko,
will ascertain your sword's quality!
**[08:36] Shin**
And we're willing to bleed
money on the first day!
**[08:39] Shin**
We'll look at your swords for free today!
**[08:41] Shin**
First come, first served!
**[08:43] Kus**
You guys...
**[08:45] Tet**
In truth, we want to check out not
the swords, but their scabbards.
**[08:49] Kus**
Instead of just givin' me this
filthy ass, you'd go so far for me?
**[08:54] Tet**
I'm not doing this for you.
**[08:56] Tet**
I'm a swordsmith.
**[08:58] Tet**
When there's a rusty sword of
repute lying in front of me,
**[09:01] Tet**
do you really think I could
stop myself from sharpening it?
**[09:03] Kus**
T-Tetsuko-han!
**[09:07] Tet**
I'll lend you as many filthy asses as
you want, so just shut up and sit tight.
**[09:12] Kus**
Sorry. I forgot I was lugging
this filthy ass around.
**[09:18] Gin**
Who do you think this filthy ass belongs to?
**[09:20] Gin**
What gives you guys the right to
decide the fate of my filthy ass?
**[09:23] Gin**
Wait, whose ass are you calling filthy?
**[09:25] Shin**
Not like we have a choice.
**[09:26] Shin**
He says he won't leave your
ass until he finds a home.
**[09:30] Kag**
If you wanna be freed, we gotta
find his separated scabbard.
**[09:34] Gin**
Quit messing—
**[09:35] Shin**
Oh, by the way, excaliburlings
are vampiric in nature.
**[09:39] Shin**
If you do anything stupid...
**[09:41] Kus**
Want me to suck up the
blood from yer entire body?
**[09:45] Gin**
Excuse me.
**[09:47] Gin**
Would you like to be the
scabbard for my sword?
**[09:51] G**
Eek!
**[09:53] Kus**
C'mon, bro. Yer makin' yer
ulterior motives too obvious.
**[09:56] Kus**
Ya'll never find me a scabbard like that.
**[09:58] Gin**
I don't wanna hear that from the one
sticking butt-naked into my butt.
**[10:01] Kus**
Just watch me.
**[10:03] Kus**
Hey, lady.
**[10:04] Kus**
Want me to suck yer ********* *****?
**[10:06] G**
Eek!
**[10:08] Gin**
I'll kill your blunt ass!
**[10:10] Gin**
Why are you getting me beaten up?
**[10:12] Gin**
Why do I have to do this?
**[10:14] Kus**
Crap, I messed up. Shoulda gone
with "please suck my ****."
**[10:17] Shin**
What kind of scabbard are you looking for?!
**[10:19] Shin**
Nobody cares about the swords in your pants!
**[10:21] Shin**
Stick them in Tasty Stick
packaging or something!
**[10:24] Shin**
Aren't you looking for your wife Scabberina?
**[10:27] Shin**
Why are you trying to sneakily
find a new scabbard?
**[10:30] Shin**
Take this more seriously!
**[10:32] Shin**
If you wanna find customers, talk
to people who are carrying swords!
**[10:37] Gin**
Ow, ow... Hey, what are you doing?
**[10:41] Kus**
N-Nah, i-it a-ain't me.
**[10:42] Kus**
Th-This is resonance.
**[10:45] Gin**
What?
**[10:46] Kus**
O-One of my own is nearby.
**[10:49] Shin**
Huh? Could it be Scabberina?
**[10:51] Kus**
N-Nah.
**[10:53] Sen**
Is it true that you're ascertaining
the quality of swords?
**[10:57] Sen**
I'd love it if you could check mine as well.
**[11:00] Sen**
What do you see?
**[11:02] Sen**
Do you hear the screams of
all the people I've cut down?
**[11:06] Sen**
Or do you hear the sound of all
the swords he's devoured breaking?
**[11:14] Sen**
Whoops, looks like we
have an unwanted visitor.
**[11:17] Sen**
I'll come back some other time.
**[11:19] Sen**
I'm sure we'll meet again.
**[11:23] Gin**
What was with that guy?
**[11:25] Shin**
Are you sure, Kusanagi-san?
**[11:27] Shin**
That was an excaliburling, too, right?
**[11:30] Shin**
They might've known
something about Scabberina.
**[11:34] Shin**
N-No way... He'd come ta this planet, too?
**[11:38] Shin**
N-Never get involved with
that guy. He's bad news.
**[11:41] Shin**
Kusanagi-san?
**[11:42] Gin**
Hey, knock it off. My
ass can't take any more.
**[11:45] Gin**
You're not resonating, are you?
You're just trembling in fear!
**[11:46] Oki**
Damn, he got away.
**[11:49] Oki**
Welp, if I go back empty-handed,
Hijikata-san will yell at me.
**[11:54] Oki**
Whatever. There's a perfect replacement.
**[11:56] Oki**
Boss, your usual wooden sword is one thing,
**[11:59] Oki**
but we can't have you carrying
that around during the sword ban.
**[12:02] Oki**
You're under arrest for a Swords and
Firearms Act violation and public indecency.
**[12:07] Gin**
What? Wait, this isn't what you think!
**[12:09] Gin**
Hey, stop clattering and say something!
**[12:13] Kus**
You got it wrong. I ain't tremblin'.
**[12:17] Kus**
I-I found her... I finally found her.
**[12:20] Kus**
That bro's scabbard...
That beautiful scabbard...
**[12:23] Kus**
There's no mistakin' it.
**[12:24] Kus**
It's my wife, Scabberina!
***SIGN*** Special Police
Shinsengumi
**[12:32] Kon**
This is horrible.
**[12:34] Kon**
Have we identified the victim?
**[12:36] Hij**
Probably a Joi Rebel from some faction.
**[12:39] Kon**
The body's in tatters. Is it him again?
**[12:43] Hij**
No doubt about it.
**[12:44] Hij**
The massive cut that couldn't
be inflicted by any mere human,
**[12:48] Hij**
the sword that seems like it
was ripped off at the hilt...
**[12:52] Hij**
It has to be Senbe the Manslayer.
**[12:55] Kon**
The mad sword that had bakufu
officials trembling in the past
**[13:00] Kon**
is now being used to shed the
blood of his own comrades?
**[13:04] Hij**
I'm perfectly okay with those
mites killing each other.
**[13:07] Hij**
But this bothers me.
**[13:10] Hij**
It's unthinkable that a man could've
done this. What purpose does it serve?
**[13:15] Hij**
I heard a strange rumor.
**[13:17] Hij**
Apparently, before Senbe betrayed his group,
**[13:19] Hij**
he picked up a creepy black
sword from somewhere.
**[13:24] Kon**
A sword?
**[13:25] Hij**
Ever since he did, he became a different
person and obsessed over it.
**[13:29] Hij**
He started acting strangely,
like talking to the sword at times.
**[13:33] Kon**
Are you saying his objective isn't
slaying men, but the swords?
**[13:41] Kon**
Sure you're not overthinking this?
**[13:43] Hij**
I sure hope so.
**[13:45] Hij**
But I've been put through
hell by a sword, too.
**[13:49] Kon**
That reminds me. I saw Sogo talking
to his sword recently, too.
**[13:54] Kon**
He might suddenly become a serial
killer too, or something!
**[14:01] Oki**
Oh, Hijikata-san.
**[14:02] Oki**
Sorry, but I'm borrowing your
room to take this guy apart.
**[14:09] Hij**
Huh? What was that just now?
**[14:11] Kon**
What did he mean, take apart?
What was that we just saw?
**[14:13] Hij**
Wait, Sogo!
**[14:13] Hij**
No! Please no!
**[14:14] Kon**
What are you doing in my room?
**[14:21] Hij**
Finally got it out.
**[14:22] Oki**
This won't do, boss.
**[14:24] Kus**
You gotta be more gentle with elders.
**[14:26] Oki**
Man, that was one hell of a surprise.
**[14:29] Oki**
I didn't expect someone other
than me to own an excalibur.
**[14:32] Oki**
That's the boss. A real connoisseur.
**[14:35] Shin**
Gin-san, you can finally kiss
goodbye to playing scabbard.
**[14:38] Kus**
Thank ya so much for
lending me yer filthy ass.
**[14:42] Tet**
No problem. We're glad this
filthy ass was of use.
**[14:45] Kag**
Yeah. If you don't mind that
filthy ass, come hang out again.
**[14:49] Oki**
Er, I'm not sure I follow.
**[14:53] Oki**
Are we bidding farewell to the boss's ass?
**[14:55] Tet**
The thing is, the scabbard holding your sword
**[14:58] Tet**
is apparently Kusanagi-san's
long separated wife.
**[15:01] Tet**
So if possible, we'd like to send
him back to his original home.
**[15:09] Kus**
Scabberina, you've been silent all this while.
**[15:13] Kus**
You must be mad, right?
**[15:14] Kus**
I'm truly sorry!
**[15:15] Kus**
I caused ya so much pain
'cause I was so weak!
**[15:20] Kus**
But it's all right now.
**[15:22] Kus**
I swear ta protect ya.
**[15:24] Kus**
I'll never let ya go again.
**[15:25] Kus**
Could we make a fresh
start as one sword again?
**[15:33] Sca**
Who're you, anyway?
**[15:36] Sca**
Could somebody tell me what's going on?
**[15:39] Sca**
Did he just propose to me out
of the blue? That's messed up!
**[15:42] Sca**
Who's this old fart? I'm scared, So-kun!
**[15:45] Shin**
Huh?
**[15:46] Kus**
What're ya talkin' about,
Scabberina? It's me, Kusanagi!
**[15:50] Kus**
Did ya have ta wait so long
that ya forgot about me?
**[15:54] Kag**
Hey, Member Kusanagi.
Did you get the wrong Scabberina?
**[15:57] Kus**
Nah! I'd never mistake her!
**[15:59] Kus**
Right, Scabberina?
**[16:00] Oki**
Uh...
**[16:02] Oki**
Maybe you shouldn't dredge
up the past after so long.
**[16:06] Oki**
Everyone has memories they
don't want to remember.
**[16:10] Kus**
Wh-What's that supposed ta mean?
**[16:13] Oki**
It means time has passed.
**[16:16] Oki**
She's living a new chapter in her life now.
**[16:19] Oki**
With me. Right, Scarlett?
**[16:22] Sca**
Stop it, So-kun! People are watching!
**[16:25] Kus**
Who're you callin' Scarlett?!
**[16:27] Oki**
She's happy as she is now,
so what're you doing here?
**[16:32] Oki**
Take the hint, honestly.
**[16:34] Shin**
This is starting to sound like a fight
between ex- and current boyfriends.
**[16:38] Sca**
Yeah, yeah!
**[16:39] Sca**
So-kun is my savior.
**[16:42] Sca**
Put on sale in a New York slum,
I waited forever for a buyer.
**[16:47] Sca**
Nobody gave me a second
glance, but he bought me.
**[16:50] Shin**
New York? You were on sale in New York?!
**[16:53] Sca**
A worn-out scabbard,
and his big, hefty sword.
**[16:57] Sca**
I knew he was out of my league.
**[16:59] Sca**
I knew it was just a game.
That he wouldn't get serious.
**[17:02] Shin**
What is this, *Pretty Woman*?
**[17:04] Sca**
But he's always serious when playing around
**[17:07] Sca**
and always plays around when he's serious.
**[17:10] Sca**
That innocence of his gradually
thawed my frozen heart...
**[17:12] Shin**
Forget playing around, he basically
used and threw you from the start!
**[17:15] Sca**
Dunno who you are, but could
you not get in our way?
**[17:19] Sca**
We're plenty happy right now.
**[17:22] Kus**
S-Scabberina...
**[17:24] Oki**
I don't know how it was in the past,
**[17:26] Oki**
but Scarlett is now crazy for my fat
Kikuichimonji RX-78 all the way inside.
**[17:33] Sca**
Stop it, So-kun!
**[17:35] Sca**
This is too embarrassing!
**[17:36] Kus**
Scabberina! This can't be!
**[17:40] Kus**
I won't accept this!
**[17:41] Shin**
Kusanagi-san!
**[17:44] Gin**
Why'd you come back here?!
**[17:46] Shin**
Kusanagi-san...
**[17:48] Kag**
Oh, no. He's closed himself off.
**[17:51] Gin**
My butthole is what's been closed off!
**[17:53] Gin**
It's gone all the way inside!
**[17:55] Oki**
Well, there you have it.
**[17:57] Oki**
Sorry, boss, but could you get
that blunt ass outta here already?
**[18:05] Shin**
Gin-san?!
**[18:07] Shin**
And what were you guys doing? Eavesdropping?!
**[18:10] All**
Aw...
**[18:13] Oki**
What's the meaning of this, boss?
**[18:15] Gin**
You've gotta be kidding me.
**[18:17] Gin**
I'm not leaving with a lid on my ass.
**[18:19] Gin**
I'm constipated enough as it is.
**[18:21] Oki**
Shall I slice open your belly
and drag your guts out for you?
**[18:26] Kon**
Stop it, Sogo!
**[18:27] Shin**
You too, Gin-san!
**[18:28] Gin**
You guys stay out of this! This runt is mine!
**[18:32] Gin**
It's only right to settle a dispute
over swords with swords, yeah?
**[18:36] Gin**
A superior scabbard
deserves a superior sword.
**[18:40] Gin**
Isn't that right, Sogo-kun?
**[18:42] Oki**
You mean...
**[18:43] Gin**
My sword and yours...
**[18:45] Gin**
Let's have a real sword fight to see
which deserves that scabbard more.
**[18:49] Bo**
Real sword fight?!
**[18:51] Oki**
Amusing. This is a chance
I thought I'd never have.
**[18:55] Kon**
Stop it!
**[18:56] Kon**
If you two sadists clash,
**[18:59] Kon**
your sadism will repel and you-know-what...
**[19:02] Kon**
I'm a masochist!
**[19:03] Hij**
Don't take the bait, Sogo. The
Shinsengumi Code bans personal clashes.
**[19:07] Gin**
Oh, really? Personal clashes aren't allowed?
**[19:10] Gin**
That's weird. I remember having very
personal clashes with a pair of morons before.
**[19:14] Gin**
Oh, I see. Those were more
like "flashes," weren't they?
**[19:17] Gin**
Those two were defeated before
I could even do anything,
**[19:20] Gin**
so they were clashes that
were over in a flash, huh?
**[19:23] Kon**
The duel will take place tomorrow!
**[19:25] Kon**
It'll be held in the World
Clash Tournament venue!
***SIGN*** Odd Jobs Ace Sakata Gintoki vs.
Shinsengumi Ace Okita Sogo
Deathmatch
**[19:28] Hij**
Have your neck washed and
ready to be chopped off!
**[19:30] Kag**
Shaddup! He's not gonna wash his neck!
**[19:31] Kag**
He'll wash every part of his body
*but* his neck with sponge gourd!
**[19:34] Shin**
Hey, what happened to the Shinsengumi Code?!
***SIGN*** Smithy
**[19:37] Shin**
What's wrong with you, Gin-san?
**[19:39] Shin**
Why'd you challenge him to that battle?
**[19:41] Gin**
It's not a battle. It's a buttle.
**[19:44] Gin**
You wouldn't understand how it feels
to have a sword stuck in your ass 24/7.
**[19:49] Shin**
I get wanting to be freed of the sword,
but you're up against Okita-san,
**[19:53] Shin**
the genius swordsman said to be the
strongest man in the Shinsengumi.
**[19:56] Shin**
And he's a super sadist to boot.
**[19:58] Shin**
He was one misstep away
from being a serial killer.
**[20:01] Shin**
He's a trashy scumbag whose
good looks are all he has.
**[20:03] Gin**
Shinpachi, what do you have against him?
**[20:06] Kag**
Shaddup! My ace ain't
gonna lose to that runt!
**[20:11] Kag**
This guy was one misstep away
from being a NEET scumbag, too!
**[20:16] Shin**
Uh, that's not missing any steps.
It's Gin-san as we know him now.
**[20:19] Gin**
What's that supposed to mean, Shinpachi?
**[20:21] Kag**
Have more faith! Everybody is one
misstep away from being a NEET!
**[20:25] Shin**
Like hell!
**[20:26] Tet**
Can I ask you something?
**[20:28] Tet**
You'll both use real swords
in the buttle tomorrow, right?
**[20:32] Tet**
How are you going to fight with that?
**[20:36] Tet**
One, two...
**[20:37] Gin**
Ow, ow, ow!
**[20:40] Gin**
Wait, time out! I can't... I can't!
**[20:42] Gin**
I'll become Shiina Kippei! I'll end
up like Shiina Kippei in *Outrage*!
**[20:45] Kag**
Pull it out or stop? Make up your
damn mind, you stupid Duncan!
**[20:50] Gin**
They all look like villains!
They all look like Takeshi!
**[20:52] Kag**
Raise the horsepower,
dammit, you stupid bean!
**[20:56] Gin**
Wait, dammit, you stupid Gidayu...
**[21:01] Kag**
All right, keep jogging toward tomorrow!
**[21:04] Kag**
Eastward ho, dammit, you stupid Comaneci!
**[21:06] Gin**
You're getting your priorities mixed up!
**[21:08] Gin**
Enough! How long are you
gonna stay holed up in there?
**[21:12] Gin**
Just get out already!
**[21:13] Kus**
No! There's no way a blunt
sword like me could ever win!
**[21:17] Kus**
I'm so blunt, I can't even rend my
long-severed marriage or my regrets...
**[21:21] Kus**
I'm just a corn potage Tasty Stick!
**[21:23] Gin**
Don't casually try to be the yummy
one, you stupid natto flavor!
**[21:26] Tet**
Have more faith in yourself, Kusanagi.
**[21:28] Tet**
The most important thing in a
sword isn't its cutting edge!
**[21:31] Tet**
It's the core that runs through its blade!
**[21:34] Tet**
People and swords are the same.
**[21:35] Tet**
Even if they run into brick walls,
as long as their cores stay intact,
**[21:38] Tet**
they can be beaten back
into shape over and over!
**[21:40] Tet**
Your love for your scabbard
is the mark of a great sword.
**[21:44] Tet**
Leave the rest to a smithy.
**[21:46] Kus**
Tetsuko-han... Will you
beat me back inta shape?
**[21:55] Tet**
Don't worry. I promise to turn
you into the most splendid sword.
**[22:00] Tet**
I won't let anybody call
you a dull ass anymore.
**[22:03] Kus**
I'm countin' on ya, Tetsuko-han!
**[22:05] Tet**
Sure! Here I go!
***SIGN*** To Be Continued
***SIGN*** The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
**[23:50] Oki**
Next time: "The Super Sadist..."
**[23:51] Gin**
"...and the Super Sadist."
***SIGN*** Huh? Another multi-episode arc?
***SIGN*** Yep. Another multi-episode arc.
***SIGN*** But after doing arcs that lasted entire cours,
***SIGN*** we can stick by our guns and still call this a collection of short stories.