E311 - Farewell Shinsengumi Arc Part Four: Prison Break

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] HB1
    They say this planet is 70% water.
[00:05] HB1
    That makes us all inmates, locked up in
    the floating confinements we call islands.
[00:12] HB1
    Moreover, we're also held captive by country,
    society, family, friends, and lovers—
[00:18] HB1
    all manner of prisons...
[00:21] HB1
    Sometimes of our own choosing.
[00:24] HB1
    Deep down, we wish to be prisoners.
[00:27] HB1
    We know that we cannot survive being free,
[00:30] HB1
    because it is an incredibly
    empty and miserable feeling.
[00:36] HB1
    And for that very reason,
    we yearn for freedom,
[00:39] HB1
    as we would a treasure in an adventure tale,
    one no man can obtain in reality.
[00:43] HB1
    To live is to continually
    be shackled by something.
[00:49] HB1
    So the only way to grant
    Kondo Isao true freedom
[00:54] HB1
    is to let him be executed—
[00:57] Hij
    So what, you're here to get in our way?
[01:01] Hij
    You want to be set free, hard-boiled style?
[01:04] HB2
    Vice Chief!
[01:05] HB2
    Enough with the dumb and dumber routine.
[01:07] HB2
    Change into this already.
SIGN    Farewell Shinsengumi Arc
    Part Four
SIGN    Prison Break
[02:47] HB2
    Only the most heinous of criminals enter,
SIGN    Watch the Farewell Shinsengumi Arc in a bright 
    room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[02:50] HB2
    and only corpses leave.
[02:53] HB2
    Like Gokumon Island, it's a 
    prison known as a living hell...
[02:56] HB2
    Kokujo Island.
[02:58] HB2
    This is the only way to infiltrate the place.
SIGN    Basically, we'll sneak in by  blending in with the prisoners.
[03:02] Hij
    You're not blending in with anyone!
[03:04] Hij
    Never mind prisoners, could you
    try to blend in with humans first?
SIGN    This is why I told you to switch to a notebook.  A placard is too conspicuous.
[03:09] Hij
    That's not the issue here!
SIGN    This is why I told you  to switch to a notebook.  A placard is too conspicuous.
SIGN    Why should I?!  You match me and my placard!
[03:11] Hij
    There's other stuff you should be copying!
SIGN    I refuse.
[03:14] Signs
    Your disguises and your hearts
    are in total disagreement!
[03:17] HB2
    We got this ship's crew on our side.
[03:20] HB2
    They wanted to put one over
    on the new government,
[03:24] HB2
    so they gladly agreed to help us out.
[03:27] HB2
    The real problem is the handover.
[03:30] HB2
    Prisoners on their way to Kokujo Island
    undergo a thorough check at sea.
[03:35] HB2
    We forged the documents, but in
    case they realize who you are...
[03:39] Hij
    It'd be quicker to capture
    them, ship and all, huh?
[03:44] Hij
    No need to worry.
[03:45] Hij
    Everything's ready.
[03:48] Hij
    Once we give the signal,
    the other units will move in.
[03:51] Hij
    The Shinsengumi and Katsura
    faction are working together.
[03:54] Hij
    It'll be over in an instant.
[03:56] Hij
    If we can just get that ship, we've won.
SIGN    Then the only thing we'll need to do  is pick up Katsura-san and the others from the designated spot.
[04:00] Hij
    You guys need to sort out your
    relationship first, though.
[04:04] HB2
    Oh, there's the ship.
[04:07] HB2
    Are you all ready?
[04:09] Hij
    Hang on a minute.
[04:11] Hij
    Let me smoke one last cigarette.
[04:14] Hij
    It's time to say goodbye
    to you guys, too, huh?
[04:17] Hij
    Thanks for everything.
[04:19] Hij
    I'm glad I was sent packing to your place,
[04:23] Hij
    because I got to find out that this
    country still has cops like you guys.
[04:28] Hij
    While I'm gone, take care of Edo.
[04:31] Hij
    And them.
[04:35] Hij
    They got dragged into this
    due to my incompetence.
[04:39] Hij
    Besides, in spite of what they're like,
[04:42] Hij
    Kondo-san would be sad if they were gone.
[04:45] HB2
    Vice Chief...
[04:50] HB1
    Neither they nor any of my
    men are as weak as you think.
[04:57] HB1
    Go raise some hell, hard-boiled style.
[05:01] HB1
    Even if you go too wild
    and have nowhere left to go,
[05:11] HB1
    you've got another boss right here.
[05:16] HB1
    The more a bad boy you once were,
    the better a sleuth you make.
[05:20] HB1
    Isn't that right, Haji?
[05:22] HB2
    That's mean, boss!
[05:24] HB2
    You didn't have to put it that way!
[05:33] G
    V-Vice Chief.
[05:35] G
    Something's off about that ship.
[05:38] G
    It's approaching us,
[05:41] G
    but I don't see anyone on it.
[05:46] Hij
    Hard rudder, port side!
[05:48] Hij
    Get away from that ship!
[05:58] G
    I-It's an enemy attack!
[06:00] G
    Hurry and provide backup!
[06:20] Ymz
    C-Captain Okita!
[06:34] Hij
    Naraku?
[06:35] Hij
    Why are they here?
[06:49] Hij
    Kozenigata!
[06:50] Hij
    Hang in there!
[06:51] Hij
    Hey!
[06:54] HB
    Guess I finally got to act like a boss for once.
[06:58] HB
    If this keeps up, this ship will sink.
[07:00] HB
    We'll handle things here.
[07:03] HB
    You go subdue that ship.
[07:06] Hij
    B-But...
[07:08] Hij
    Are you gonna tell me the demonic vice chief
    can't leave an injured man behind?
[07:13] Hij
    Don't let me down, now.
[07:15] Hij
    I told you...
[07:17] Hij
    My friends aren't that weak!
[07:29] Hij
    The friends of a hard-boiled man
[07:32] Hij
    will all be hard-boiled.
[07:46] HB
    Now get going already!
[07:59] N
    The cannons!
[08:13] N
    You fiends...
[08:21] Gin
    Looks like we made it in time for the party!
[08:25] Gin
    I couldn't go to the funeral!
[08:28] Gin
    So I should at least take part
    in the battle for revenge!
[08:32] Gin
    Or else the shogun could
    come back to haunt me!
[08:37] Gin
    And nobody wants that.
[08:39] Hij
    Do you guys realize what coming here means?!
[08:42] Hij
    If you come with us, you can
    never return to this country!
[08:46] Gin
    It's too late to go back, either way.
[08:49] Gin
    Looks like we've come too far, unawares,
[08:55] Gin
    to be the only ones turning tail.
[09:01] Gin
    If we do have anywhere to go home to,
[09:07] Gin
    it'd be a place where you guys are, too.
[09:13] Gin
    If we're going back,
[09:15] Gin
    then that hack policeman,
[09:16] Gin
    that hack terrorist,
[09:18] Gin
    that sadist,
[09:20] Gin
    and that monster are coming with us.
[09:22] Gin
    That's the kind of place Odd Jobs
    started calling home at some point.
[09:28] Gin
    Sheesh.
[09:29] Gin
    People aren't supposed to sit
    in one place for too long, huh?
[09:33] Gin
    Before I knew it, I was covered in moss.
[09:36] Hij
    Yeah.
[09:39] Hij
    True that.
[09:41] Hij
    Kondo-san, I'll be honest.
[09:45] Hij
    Until now, I saw protecting Edo
    as my job, and nothing more.
[09:52] Hij
    I just swung my sword because we were
    who we were: Shinsengumi and samurai.
[10:01] Hij
    But now, from the very bottom of my heart,
[10:06] Hij
    I want to protect Edo.
[10:08] Hij
    I want to protect our home!
[10:12] Hij
    Kondo-san, I've finally become
[10:18] Hij
    a proper member of the Shinsengumi.
[10:26] Sas
    Prepare for battle, men.
[10:28] Sas
    Once we arrive at Kokujo Island,
[10:31] Sas
    immediately begin hunting for the
    escaped inmates and their accomplices.
[10:35] G
    Sir!
[10:42] Nob
    That's it? That's our mission?
[10:44] Sas
    Complaining again?
[10:46] Sas
    You'd better give it a rest, or I'll start to sulk.
[10:50] Nob
    Don't we have other targets to cut down?
[10:54] Nob
    Do you really think Kondo and his gang
    killed the guards and escaped?
[10:59] Sas
    Who can say?
[11:01] Sas
    I imprisoned Katsura in the
    same prison on purpose.
[11:05] Sas
    I would find it rather troubling if
    they weren't capable of that much.
[11:09] Nob
    Was exposing Lord Nobunobu's
    tyrannical nature to the public
[11:12] Nob
    and sending Katsura to where Kondo was
[11:15] Nob
    all part of a plan to incite a rebellion
    and gain an excuse to purge them?
[11:19] Nob
    If I only wanted to wipe them all out,
    I would've had them executed with Kondo.
[11:25] Nob
    What I really want to clean up is
[11:28] Nob
    something far larger in scale that
    they happen to be a part of.
[11:32] Nob
    But before I could finish all the preparations,
[11:36] Nob
    your old friend seems to have caught on to me.
[11:42] Nob
    Oh, well.
[11:44] Nob
    This is a bit earlier than I'd planned,
[11:47] Nob
    but they were always fated
    to die out either way.
[11:50] Nob
    Let us as cops witness the demise of the police.
[11:57] Kat
    Hey, it's time to switch.
[11:59] G
    Oh, okay.
[12:00] Kat
    How's it look? Have the escapees...
[12:02] G
    Nah. It doesn't look like they've
    made it out of these walls yet.
[12:07] Kon
    Well, obviously.
[12:09] Kon
    Because we were thinking of getting out now.
[12:12] Kat
    I'm sorry, but continue to
    keep watch in your dreams.
[12:16] Kat
    That went well.
[12:18] Kat
    How are things looking on
    the outside, Matsudaira?
[12:21] Kat
    Wait, where's Matsudaira?
[12:22] Kon
    Uh, that's Pops!
[12:24] Kat
    Matsudaira! What are you doing
    wearing such confusing clothing?!
[12:27] Kon
    You're wearing the same thing!
[12:28] G
    Wh-What do you guys think you're doing?!
[12:31] Kat
    Hang in there, Kondo!
[12:34] Kat
    Let go of Kondo!
[12:35] Kon
    Uh, this is Kondo you're grabbing!
[12:37] Mat
    Just hang on, Kondo!
[12:38] Mat
    We'll combine our strength!
[12:41] Kon
    What are you combining?!
[12:43] Kon
    Combining stupidity with stupidity will
    only give birth to more stupidity!
[12:46] Kon
    What's wrong with you idiots?!
[12:48] Kon
    We nearly gave ourselves away!
[12:49] Mat
    Shh! Keep it down, Kondo.
[12:53] Kon
    That's not Kondo, damn it!
[12:57] Kon
    Crap.
[12:58] Kon
    Looks like the Mimawarigumi are here, too.
[13:01] Kon
    Toshi and the rest won't be able
    to approach the island now.
[13:04] Kon
    More than anything,
[13:06] Kon
    who knows if we can hold
    out until help arrives?
[13:09] Kat
    They will come for sure.
[13:12] Kat
    No need to worry.
[13:14] Kat
    They've got him on their side.
[13:17] Kat
    Just as you left your hopes
    outside these walls,
[13:21] Kat
    I left a trump card of my own back there.
[13:24] (Flashback) Kat
    Let us meet at dawn.
[13:31] Kat
    That man.
[13:40] Gin
    It's as we thought.
[13:42] Gin
    Something's going down over there, as well.
[13:45] Gin
    With the island on high alert, there's no
    way we can force our way through head-on.
[13:49] Gin
    We were right to abandon the
    big ship in favor of life boats.
[13:53] Hij
    Quit acting like you guys didn't
    go too wild and sink the ship!
[13:57] Hij
    Why do we gotta row all
    the way to the island?!
[14:00] Kag
    The situation's changing by the moment.
[14:03] Kag
    If you louts don't keep up,
    your general will lose his head.
[14:07] Hij
    You guys sure have it good,
    with your weird Chinese motor!
[14:10] Hij
    Put yourself in our shoes!
[14:11] Gin
    Don't tell me you guys are worn
    out from that little skirmish.
[14:16] Gin
    Come on. The war hasn't
    even begun for real yet.
[14:19] Gin
    I guess even the Shinsengumi and
    the Katsura faction together
[14:23] Gin
    are still no match for one
    measly little Odd Jobs, huh?
[14:26] Hij
    Row, people!
[14:27] Hij
    Forget about Shinsengumi
    and Joi Rebels for now!
[14:30] Hij
    Just work together and beat them to the island!
SIGN    Time for the placards to shine, since they're shaped like oars. Use one like this.
SIGN    I'll use my notebook to cheer you on, then. Fight!
[14:39] G
    Later, Vice Chief. We're going ahead.
[14:41] G
    Excuse us.
[14:42] Hij
    Wait a minute, you bastards—
[14:48] HB2
    Good grief.
[14:49] HB2
    Who would've thought we'd
    ever see something like that?
[14:53] HB2
    Right, Boss?
[14:55] HB2
    The Shinsengumi, Joi Rebels, and Odd Jobs
[14:59] HB2
    are all working together toward a common goal.
[15:02] HB2
    Just goes to show that life
    should be lived good and long.
[15:07] HB2
    So please don't think it'd be
    hard-boiled to die here, okay?
[15:12] HB2
    Let's live and see what those
    guys do with our own eyes.
[15:16] HB1
    Yeah. Guess I should hold off
    on drinking with dinner for once
[15:21] HB1
    and keep the champagne on ice.
[15:27] HB1
    I'll be waiting at the bar,
[15:30] HB1
    you perms.
SIGN    Preview
[17:05] Kon
    No education, no status.
[17:08] Kon
    The only thing they can trust
    is their own swords.
[17:11] Kon
    Don't let their dreams consume you.
SIGN    Farewell Shinsengumi Arc
    Part Five
[17:14] Kon
    We're gonna become samurai here in Edo.
SIGN    Stray Dogs
[17:18] ---
    What clever idea does
    Gintoki come up with
[17:18] ---
    to breach the impregnable
    Kokujo Island's defenses?
[17:23] ---
    Next week, a chaotic brawl breaks out.
[17:23] ---
    And what's coming up right now...?
SIGN    The Walker's Guide to the Galaxy
SIGN    Episode 50
    The Land of Samurai
SIGN    Marsh Ian
[17:34] M
    Good day to all our viewers
    across the universe.
[17:37] M
    I'm your host, Galactic Essayist Marsh Ian.
SIGN    Galactic Essayist 
    Marsh Ian
SIGN    Universe Map
[17:40] M
    Wherever the dart lands, be it the very
    end of the universe, we cover the place.
[17:44] M
    That's what The Walker's Guide
    to the Galaxy is all about.
SIGN    Map of the Universe
[17:46] M
    As we celebrate our 50th
    episode, we'll be going to...
[17:51] M
    Earth!
[17:53] M
    Earth is a beautiful planet,
    with a wide variety of species.
[17:57] M
    Who's ruling it right now?
SIGN    Joining the Coverage Again
    Mr. N, Editor
[18:00] N
    A quite scary species.
[18:03] N
    Until sixty million years ago or so,
    it was creatures like these.
[18:06] M
    What? They'll eat us alive!
[18:08] N
    And then it was creatures like these, or these.
[18:12] M
    What? We really will be eaten alive!
[18:15] N
    And right now,
[18:17] N
    it's ruled by EXILE.
[18:18] M
    What? They'll eat us alive!
[18:21] N
    Don't worry.
[18:22] N
    They mainly only prey
    on acts and mods.
SIGN    Earth's Geological Eras Over 4.6 Billion Years
SIGN    10 yrs. ago
SIGN    6.5 mil. yrs. ago
SIGN    450 mil. yrs. ago
SIGN    EXILE Era
SIGN    Titan Era
SIGN    Dinosaur Era
[18:26] N*
    They're a species that's beyond beautiful,
    and never eats more than it needs.
[18:30] M
    Wow. They look scary, but they're
    actually quite nice, huh?
[18:34] N
    Actually, they're quite naughty.
[18:36] M
    True, when we landed on Earth,
[18:39] M
    we found a whole bunch of EXILES.
[18:41] M
    Hello there, beautiful young lady.
[18:43] M
    Are you an EXILE?
[18:45] Tae
    I'm a B'z fan, damn it!
SIGN    Snack 
    Otose
[18:48] Oto
    She may have looked similar, 
    but she wasn't an EXILE.
[18:49] Sign
    Owner of a watering hole we made
    a pit stop at. She helped us a lot.
[18:51] Oto
    Other than EXILE, Earth also has
[18:54] Oto
    a whole bunch of other species.
SIGN    Sada Masashi
[18:57] M
    Everyone but Sada Masashi looks the same to me!
SIGN    Earth Inhabitants
[19:00] Oto
    Things used to be a lot simpler back in the day.
[19:02] N
    What species ruled the planet before?
[19:05] Oto
    They're extinct now, but there used
    to be a species called "Samurai."
SIGN    Samurai
[19:09] M
    Earth used to be full of terrifying
    monsters and rife with death,
[19:14] M
    but the legendary species,
    Samurai, restored peace to it!
[19:17] N
    But why'd they go extinct?
[19:20] Oto
    Due to the Unemployment Ice Age.
[19:22] N
    We'd love to cover them!
[19:25] Oto
    There's a fossil you can interview...
[19:27] N
    Where?
[19:27] Oto
    Right there.
[19:30] Oto
    Though it's a fossil of samurai poo.
SIGN    Shaggy Hair
SIGN    Dead-Fish Eyes
SIGN    Filthy Piece of Wood
SIGN    Filthy Piece of Wood
[19:33] M
    This is the legendary species, Samurai (poo)!
[19:37] Gin
    Huh? Interview?
[19:39] Gin
    Will I be paid?
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[19:40] M
    Today, the Samurai (poo) is called a "handyman."
[19:45] M
    Instead of hunting, he takes
    advantage of others' weaknesses...
[19:48] Gin
    You took your mischief too far, lady.
[19:51] W
    Please don't tell my husband.
[19:53] W
    I'll pay as much as you want.
[19:55] M
    He's a lot like a hyena.
[19:57] M
    He primarily consumes nothing
    but sweets and alcohol.
[20:00] M
    He staggers on two legs during the day,
[20:03] M
    and turns four-legged at night.
SIGN    Blech
[20:05] M
    His movements are sluggish, and there
    are days when he doesn't move at all.
[20:09] N
    That's a form of hibernation!
[20:11] N
    That's why he survived the Ice Age!
[20:14] M
    It's an unbelievable evolution!
[20:16] M
    In the past, samurai used
    to form rather unique herds,
[20:20] M
    with a hierarchical structure
    called "lordship."
SIGN    Lordship
[20:23] M
    You'd have the leader
    of the pack, the "lord,"
[20:24] M
    and the lord's servants, the "retainers."
[20:27] M
    We'd given up on ever seeing
    that in its natural form, but...
[20:32] Q
    That's "Queen" to you!
SIGN    Haa haa
[20:35] N
    Queen!
[20:36] Gin
    So how'd it go? Are you an S or M?
[20:39] M
    Yes, the system of lordship
    was still in place!
[20:41] Gin
    I could hear your voice all the way outside.
[20:44] Kag
    You rotten pig!
[20:46] Kag
    Where were you goofing off?!
[20:47] Kag
    "Retainers" became "pigs"...
[20:48] Gin
    Look, they wanted to know 
    where to have fun...
[20:50] Kag
    If you've got money to waste on that crap,
[20:53] Kag
    then pay tribute to the Queen of Kabuki
    District in the form of salary!
[20:57] M
    And "lords" became "queens."
[20:59] M
    The Samurai (poo) herd
    hierarchy is as follows:
[21:02] M
    On top is the queen.
[21:04] M
    Next up is her pet.
[21:07] M
    Then the fleas on the pet.
[21:08] M
    Then the roaches that eat the fleas.
[21:10] M
    Then the magazine for killing the roaches,
[21:12] M
    with which the Samurai (poo)
    comes as an accessory.
[21:16] M
    Further below is the hallucination
    he talks to every now and then.
[21:20] Gin
    Oh, Pachi-boy. Did you change your glasses?
[21:22] Shin
    You could tell?
[21:24] M
    It is said that Samurai
    trained diligently every day.
[21:27] M
    But our Samurai (poo) just
    loiters around gambling dens,
[21:32] M
    showing no signs of training at all.
[21:35] M
    Could it be that the Samurai (poo) species
    has declined massively in strength?
[21:41] N
    Hey, attack him and see what happens.
[21:44] M
    Wh-When?
[21:46] N
    Once he finishes eating that squid tentacle.
[21:50] M
    Squid tentacle?
[21:53] Gin
    Damn, this is tough.
[21:55] M
    It was an octopus arm!
[21:57] N
    Don't tell me, he noticed our
    presence and made the first move?!
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[22:01] N
    Let's give it another shot.
[22:04] N
    We could try something like poisoning...
[22:05] M
    That's too dangerous!
[22:07] N
    You won't lose your arms
    with an indirect method.
[22:11] Gin
    All right. We're having takoyaki for dinner.
[22:14] M
    They showed up for dinner!
[22:17] Kag
    Not octopus again.
[22:19] M
    What do you mean, "again"?
[22:20] Shin
    I don't even want to look at octopus anymore.
[22:22] M
    Even the hallucination was digging in?!
[22:24] Gin
    Don't be selfish!
[22:26] N
    What a terrifying species.
[22:28] N
    They've evolved to a higher
    plane of existence than us!
[22:31] M
    Uh, weren't they just hungry?
[22:34] Gin
    Huh? You're not eating?
[22:37] Gin
    What happened to your arms?
[22:39] M
    Th-They were gone before I knew it.
[22:42] Gin
    Oh, is that so?
[22:44] Gin
    But they'll grow back, right?
[22:45] M
    W-Well, yes.
[22:48] Gin
    Nice.
[22:49] Gin
    Then if we keep you alive
    and just eat your arms,
[22:52] Gin
    we'll never run out of food, huh?
[22:58] M
    I need to go buy some nibs!
[23:02] M
    That species is definitely super-dangerous!
[23:04] M
    I must let the entire galaxy
    know, with my essay!
[23:09] N
    Your pen's flowing a lot
    more freely than usual.
[23:11] N
    We had to pack up our research midway
    through, but I've got no complaints.
[23:15] N
    I was just about to get tired
    of Earth's crappy cuisine, too.
[23:21] N
    I miss Planet Osaka's takoyaki.
SIGN    Mr. N, is that...
[23:24] M
    Mr. N, is that...
SIGN    Essay Manga Are Easy to Animate
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[23:31] Shin
    Gin-san, the Farewell Shinsengumi
    Arc isn't over yet.
[23:35] Shin
    Are you sure you should be lying around?
[23:37] Gin
    You see, samurai are creatures that
    hibernate once they've eaten their fill.
[23:37] Gin
    Following the disappearance of an essayist,
[23:41] TV
    a self-proclaimed editor was arrested.
[23:41] Kag
    Huh? Gin-chan, isn't this...
[23:43] TV
    Under his shirt, he'd been tied up with a rope,
SIGN    Galactic Essayist Marsh Ian Missing
[23:46] TV
    * and he kept making strange statements 
    such as, "He'll grow back again, anyway."*
[23:49] Gin
    Oh, man. There are some scary
    creatures out in space, huh?
[23:54] ---
    "The Walker's Guide to the Galaxy"
    ends this week.
[23:54] ---
    Thank you for all your support!!