E3 - Nobody with Naturally Wavy Hair Can Be That Bad Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] Shinpachi (Mono)     And so outside of certain areas, [00:03] Shinpachi (Mono)     we kicked off the Gin Tama anime series with a one hour special full of non-stop laughs and excitement. [00:05] Shinpachi (Mono)     This time, we'll be taking a trip back to when Gin and I first met. SIGN    [Sorry, we got carried away a little during last week's special.] SIGN    [This episode, we're starting from when Gin and Shinpachi first meet.] [01:54] Shinpachi'S Father     A samurai's sword is not something that is kept in a sheath. [01:59] Shinpachi'S Father     It's something that you hold in your soul. [02:02] Shinpachi'S Father     These days, samurai aren't needed. [02:06] Shinpachi'S Father     But no matter how much times change, there are things that people mustn't forget. [02:12] Shinpachi'S Father     Even if there comes a time when you must give up your sword, [02:15] Shinpachi'S Father     you must never lose the unwavering sword kept in your soul. [02:20] Shinpachi     Father! [02:23] Shinpachi'S Father     The cloudless Edo sky... [02:26] Shinpachi'S Father     I wish I could've seen it one last time. [02:30] Shinpachi (Mono)     The land of the samurai. [02:31] Shinpachi (Mono)     There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name. [02:36] Shinpachi (Mono)     Those dream-filled blue skies upon which the samurai once gazed, [02:40] Shinpachi (Mono)     are now filled with ships from strange worlds. [02:42] Shinpachi (Mono)     The towns where the samurai once proudly walked [02:46] Shinpachi (Mono)     are now filled with swaggering, arrogant aliens. [02:49] Shinpachi (Mono)     This is our world today. This is... [02:52] Shinpachi (Mono)     ...our city. [02:54] Manager     No, you idiot! That's not the one! It's right there, there! [02:58] Manager     Nowadays even a chimpanzee could do this! [03:02] Manager     You're human. You've been working here for more than a year. [03:04] Manager     Why can't you do this?! [03:06] Shinpachi     I...I'm sorry. Swordsmanship is the only thing I've ever done... [03:10] Manager     Loser! You're still clinging to your sword?! [03:14] Manager     Samurai and swords are all ancient history now! [03:17] Manager     How long are you going to act as if you're a samurai?! Huh? [03:21] Amanto A     Oh, come on now... [03:22] Amanto A     Just leave it at that, boss. [03:24] Amanto A     Hey, kid, don't you bother with the register. [03:27] Amanto A     Just get me some milk. [03:28] Shinpachi     Oh... All right. Right away. [03:30] Manager     Sir, you mustn't go so easy on him. [03:33] Amanto A     Nah, just that lately whenever I see a samurai, [03:36] Amanto A     I feel kind of sorry for them. [03:39] Amanto A     When we first came here, the samurai were always spoiling for a fight. [03:45] Amanto A     But, now, it's as if we've lost an irritable friend. It's lonely. [03:50] Amanto A     So I end up wanting to mess with them. [03:55] Shinpachi (Mono)     Twenty years ago, aliens called the Amanto suddenly came to Edo. [03:59] Shinpachi (Mono)     The rise of the Amanto led to the decline of the samurai. [04:01] Manager     What are you doing, Shinpachi?! [04:03] Shinpachi (Mono)     We were stripped away of our swords and status [04:05] Shinpachi (Mono)     and we abandoned our honor and everything else. [04:08] Shinpachi (Mono)     No, it wasn't only the samurai. [04:10] Shinpachi (Mono)     It was everyone in this country... [04:13] Gintoki     Hey. [04:18] Shinpachi (Mono)     A samurai?! [04:25] Amanto A     Who the hell are you?! [04:27] Amanto A     Strapping on a wooden sword in the age of the Sword Ban! [04:30] Gintoki     Blah blah blah. Are you in heat or something? [04:35] Gintoki     Look at what happened to my chocolate parfait because of your fussing. [04:40] Gintoki     All of it spilled out! [04:44] Amanto B     Wh-What the hell are you doing? [04:46] Amanto C     Who do you think we are? [04:48] Gintoki     My doctor told me my blood sugar level was too high... [04:52] Gintoki     So I just have one parfait a week! [05:01] Shinpachi (Mono)     He was too fierce to be called a samurai, [05:05] Shinpachi (Mono)     but too focused... [05:08] Shinpachi (Mono)     ...to be called a thug. [05:10] Gintoki     Tell your manager that it tasted great. SIGN    ["Nobody With Naturally Wavy Hair Can Be That Bad"] SIGN    [Denny's] SIGN    [Oedo Shop] [05:25] Yashichi     All right, all right, out of the way. [05:28] Yashichi     Oh! There he is! [05:29] Yashichi     So you're the one who's waving around a wooden sword and causing a riot! [05:33] Yashichi     All right, don't move. [05:33] Shinpachi     Hold on... Wait. You're mistaken! [05:35] Ooka     Hey, Yashichi! Check inside! [05:38] Yashichi     Yes, sir! [05:39] Yashichi     Uh-oh... It's the ambassador from Chatoran. [05:43] Yashichi     This is an international incident... [05:45] Yashichi     Do you realize what you've done? [05:47] Shinpachi     I told you, it wasn't me! [05:49] Shinpachi     The man who did it already ran off! [05:51] Ooka     Yeah, yeah, that's what they always say. [05:54] Ooka     Next time make your excuses after you hide your weapon. [05:57] Ooka     I'm going to file a report. Come with us to the station. [06:01] Shinpachi     Huh? SIGN    [Denny's] SIGN    [Oedo Shop] [06:02] Shinpachi     What?! [06:06] Gintoki     It just doesn't feel right... [06:08] Gintoki     I get all cranky if I don't have some sugar. [06:12] Shinpachi     How dare you make me take the blame, you bastard! [06:15] Shinpachi     Everything's a mess because of you! [06:18] Gintoki     What an honest kid. [06:19] Gintoki     You came to give me back my wooden sword? [06:22] Gintoki     It's okay. It's just something I bought on a school trip. [06:26] Shinpachi     That's not it! [06:27] Shinpachi     I just barely managed to get away from the cops! [06:29] Shinpachi     I keep telling them they've got it wrong, but they won't listen to a samurai! [06:33] Shinpachi     My manager even said that I was the murderer... [06:36] Gintoki     You got sacked, eh? [06:39] Gintoki     A clerk who can't use a cash register [06:41] Gintoki     is about as useless as a mom who can't make fried rice. [06:44] Shinpachi     Just what did you say about my mother?! [06:47] Gintoki     You're getting all worked up just because you got fired... [06:50] Shinpachi     Nowadays, there isn't anyone who will hire a samurai! [06:53] Shinpachi     How am I supposed to survive from now on?! Damn it! [07:01] Gintoki     Quit your whining, you four-eyed idiot! [07:05] Gintoki     Don't think that you're the only one who's got problems! [07:07] Gintoki     In this world, there are samurai who call cardboard boxes their homes! [07:12] Gintoki     Can't you be more positive like them? [07:15] Shinpachi     Do you even know the meaning of the word "positive"?! [07:18] Otae     Oh. Shin? [07:21] Otae     What are you doing here? [07:24] Otae     Why aren't you at work? [07:26] Shinpachi     Ack! Sis! [07:28] Gintoki     Oh, hi. [07:29] Otae     What are you doing screwing around not working, you little punk! [07:33] Otae     Do you know what kind of trouble we're in this month?! [07:36] Otae     Even your pathetic paycheck is crucial! [07:40] Shinpachi     W-Wait, Sis! [07:42] Shinpachi     This is all his fault. [07:45] Shinpachi     Hey, wait! [07:47] Gintoki     Sorry, gotta catch a rerun of a soap opera this evening. SIGN    [Kodokan Dojo] [07:58] Gintoki     I'm really sorry. [08:02] Gintoki     That was my big intro scene, so I got a little excited... I kinda went overboard. [08:08] Gintoki     I'm sorry. [08:10] Otae     If "sorry" was enough, we wouldn't have seppuku. [08:13] Otae     Thanks to you, our dojo may not be able continue to exist. [08:18] Otae     It's been twenty years since national isolation was lifted... [08:21] Otae     Amanto began to come here from far-off planets and Edo has grown beyond recognition... [08:27] Otae     But samurai and swords... Those who once held power [08:32] Otae     are now dying out one by one. [08:35] Otae     The same goes for our dojo... [08:37] Otae     Because of the ban on swords, all of our students have left. [08:40] Otae     Right now, the two of us take part-time jobs in order to try to keep it going. [08:46] Otae     Even so, we try to protect the dojo that our father left behind for us. [08:50] Otae     We've been trying so hard until now, but... [08:52] Otae     Because of you... [08:54] Otae     It's all over, you idiot! [08:56] Shinpachi     Calm down, Sis! [08:59] Gintoki     Was your sister raised by gorillas? [09:03] Gintoki     Wait, wait! Calm down... [09:06] Gintoki     I can't commit seppuku, but I do clean up my own messes. [09:09] Otae     What is this? A business card? SIGN    [Odd Jobs - Gintoki Sakata] [09:12] Otae     Odd Jobs, Gintoki Sakata. [09:15] Gintoki     You can't be too picky about jobs these days, right? [09:19] Gintoki     My business is to do whatever I'm asked to do. [09:23] Gintoki     I'm Mr. "Odd Jobs" Gin. [09:25] Gintoki     If you've got problems, I'll solve them, no matter what... [09:29] Otae     You're the one who's causing us problems! [09:31] Shinpachi     Find me a job, damn you! [09:33] Gintoki     Calm down! [09:34] Gintoki     I can't find you a job, but I can teach you a chant so you won't be nervous at interviews... [09:39] Otae     No thank you! [09:43] Shinpachi     Sis... [09:44] Shinpachi     It's just impossible to run a sword dojo in this day and age... [09:50] Shinpachi     Swords won't ever be revived again. [09:53] Shinpachi     We don't have anything to gain by desperately protecting this dojo... [09:57] Otae     This isn't about profit or gain... [10:01] Otae     Does a child really need a reason to protect the things that its parents cherished? [10:06] Shinpachi     But, Sis, what did Father ever do for us? [10:12] President     Today I'm definitely going to make you pay me back. [10:16] President     I can't take it anymore! [10:19] President     Now I'm really getting irritated! [10:21] Gintoki     Hey, are you in debt? [10:24] Gintoki     You're leading pretty dangerous lives, for a couple of kids... [10:28] Shinpachi     We didn't do it. It was Father... [10:31] Otae     Shin! [10:32] President     What the hell are you blabbering about?! [10:34] President     Hurry up and bring me my money, stupid! [10:37] President     I gotta get home, my favorite soap opera is on. [10:40] Shinpachi     Wait a minute, today is... [10:41] President     Shut up! [10:43] President     I've been waiting ever since your pop was still alive! [10:46] President     I'm starting to go bald! [10:48] President     You promised that you'd sell the dojo if you couldn't pay! [10:52] President     You're going to keep that promise! [10:55] Otae     Wait a moment... [10:56] President     Why?! That's good enough, isn't it? [10:58] President     You don't need to feel obligated to your stupid father [11:01] President     who left you nothing but debt when he died! [11:04] President     Get rid of this dojo. [11:07] Subordinate A     You little... What the hell are you doing?! [11:10] Shinpachi     Sis! [11:11] President     You fool... [11:12] President     Do you think that I won't hurt you [11:15] President     just because you're a woman?! [11:18] President     What?! [11:21] Gintoki     That's enough. [11:23] Gintoki     Even though she was raised by gorillas, she's still a woman. [11:31] President     Who the hell are you?! [11:33] President     Does this dojo still have students?! [11:36] President     Honestly, the lot of you... [11:38] President     Forget the dojo! [11:41] President     But I'm going to make you work to pay off your debt. SIGN    [High-Leg Shabu Shabu Heaven] [11:47] President     I've started a new business. [11:52] President     It's called High-Leg Shabu Shabu Heaven. [11:54] Shinpachi     H-High Leg?! [11:56] Shinpachi     Wh-Why?! [11:58] President     Because I like girls in high-leg outfits, of course! SIGN    [Heaven] [12:01] President     Well, simply put, it's a flying nightclub. [12:05] President     Technically, they're prohibited in Edo now. [12:07] President     But if it's in the sky, it'll be out of sight from government officials. [12:11] President     I can do whatever I want. [12:12] President     It'll be shabu shabu time while I get to stare at girls in high-leg outfits! [12:16] President     I'll ensnare my customers with sleaze! [12:21] President     I've gathered beauties from many worlds, but you'd be more than welcome. [12:26] President     Well, it comes down to either selling this dojo or selling yourself. [12:30] President     Which will it be? [12:32] Shinpachi     No way! [12:33] Shinpachi     She'd never do something like that. [12:34] Otae     All right. I'll go. [12:37] President     What a dutiful daughter you are. [12:42] Shinpachi     Hold on... Sis! [12:44] Shinpachi     Why would you do this?! [12:46] Shinpachi     We've done enough, haven't we?! [12:47] Shinpachi     Hey! [12:49] Shinpachi     Sis! [12:52] Otae     Shin, it's as you say. [12:55] Otae     Nothing good will come from saving this dojo... [12:59] Otae     ...only pain. [13:00] Otae     But it's also painful to let go. [13:04] Otae     It's painful to keep or to discard something that you can never get back... [13:09] Otae     If it's going to be painful either way, [13:12] Otae     I'd rather suffer trying to protect it. [13:35] Shinpachi     What the hell?! Damn it! [13:37] Shinpachi     My stupid sister! [13:39] Shinpachi     She keeps talking about Father. [13:40] Shinpachi     What did baldy ever do for us?! [13:43] Shinpachi     He only played Othello with us once in a while! [13:45] Gintoki     Was your dad bald? [13:47] Shinpachi     Well, he was mentally bald. [13:49] Shinpachi     Hey, you're still here?! [13:52] Shinpachi     And why are you cooking in my house?! [13:56] Gintoki     Well, I can't go on without eating something sweet periodically. [14:00] Shinpachi     Then make something easier! [14:08] Gintoki     Shouldn't you go after your sister? [14:11] Shinpachi     I don't care. [14:13] Shinpachi     It was her decision to leave. [14:16] Shinpachi     She really is my Father's daughter. [14:19] Shinpachi     She's just like him. [14:21] Shinpachi     Father was a good-natured person who always talked about duty and compassion. [14:26] Shinpachi     Because of that, he got taken advantage of and died in debt. [14:31] Shinpachi     Why was he so careless? [14:34] Shinpachi     I don't want to die with only grand principles to my name. [14:37] Shinpachi'S Father     But no matter how much times change, [14:40] Shinpachi'S Father     there are things that people mustn't forget. [14:43] Otae     Does a child really need a reason to protect the things that its parents cherished? [14:49] Shinpachi     That kind of thinking only gets in the way nowadays. [14:52] Shinpachi     I plan on living smarter and longer. [14:55] Gintoki     Is that so? [14:56] Gintoki     But you don't seem very smart to me. [15:03] Gintoki     Samurai don't need a reason to act. [15:07] Gintoki     If they have something they have to protect, they should draw their sword. [15:12] Gintoki     Do you love your sister? [15:18] Shinpachi     "Watch the beautiful sunset from heaven," [15:20] Shinpachi     "first boat leaves this afternoon at four." [15:23] Shinpachi     This is bad! [15:23] Shinpachi     The ship's about to leave! Can't you go any faster?! [15:27] Gintoki     Hey, safety first. That's my motto... [15:30] Gintoki     It'll also hurt if we crash. [15:31] Shinpachi     Now's not the time to be saying that! [15:33] Shinpachi     Sis is in high-leg shabu shabu danger! [15:36] Officer A     Hey! You, without the helmet, stop! [15:39] Gintoki     What are you saying? [15:41] Gintoki     We don't need road traffic laws in this day and age. [15:44] Officer A     That's true, but it'll hurt if you crash. [15:47] Officer A     I'm just telling you because I'm concerned. [15:49] Gintoki     I'm all right. I have a hard head. [15:51] Officer A     Huh?! What?! [15:53] Officer A     I'm trying to be considerate! [15:55] Officer A     It really hurts! It's terrible! [15:58] Gintoki     Shut up. [15:59] Gintoki     I'm telling you that... [16:00] Gintoki     ...it's hard! [16:02] Officer A     I've got a nose bleed! I've got a nose bleed! And at my age! [16:07] Shinpachi     The Shabu Shabu Heaven has taken off! [16:09] Shinpachi     What are we going to do?! It's so high up! [16:13] Shinpachi     Sis! [16:14] Officer A     Damn him... Mocking me like that! [16:17] Officer A     After him! [16:18] Officer B     Yes, sir! [16:23] Officer A     Hey, you! SIGN    [Oedo Police] [16:24] Officer A     Do you think that you can outrun the police?! [16:32] Otae     I'm Otae. Please treat me gently. [16:35] President     I told you, that's not how you do it! [16:39] President     You're supposed to show more cleavage there! Stupid! [16:42] Otae     I've never had cleavage before in my life! [16:46] President     Oh, sorry. You couldn't show any even if you wanted to. [16:51] President     Fine! Next we'll work on your technique! [16:54] President     It's time to put on your high-leg outfit and give us some shabu shabu heaven! [16:57] Otae     Hold on... That cut is... [16:59] President     This cut is what we're going for. [17:02] President     What's wrong? Put it on already. [17:07] President     If you've lost your nerve now, it's too late! [17:10] President     If you think that I'm going to go easy on you just because we're on prime-time, you're mistaken. [17:15] President     This is for your dojo. So buck up, little soldier! [17:27] President     What's that?! [17:31] Gorilla Man     Hold on. What's going on?! [17:35] Subordinate B     Boss! What's going on?! [17:37] President     A car crashed into us. [17:40] President     This is bad. It's a police car! [17:42] President     The cops are onto us! [17:45] Gintoki     Don't worry. It's just a rental. [17:50] Gintoki     Hello. Odd Jobs at your service! [17:53] Shinpachi     Sis! You haven't put on that high-leg outfit yet, right?! [17:56] Otae     Shin?! [17:57] President     What the hell are you doing?! [18:00] Shinpachi     We've come to get my sister back! [18:02] President     You idiot! [18:03] President     Don't any of you understand that it's too late already?! [18:07] President     Your dojo won't be any safer after this! [18:11] Shinpachi     I don't care about the dojo. [18:14] Shinpachi     I want a dojo where my sister is always smiling. [18:18] Shinpachi     If I have to see my sister cry... [18:21] Shinpachi     I don't need the dojo! [18:23] Otae     Shin... [18:25] President     Fool! What can just the two of you do? [18:29] President     Get them! [18:31] Gintoki     Hey, I'll distract 'em. [18:34] Gintoki     Go find an escape pod or something and get outta here. [18:36] Shinpachi     Wh-What about you? [18:38] Gintoki     You just think about protecting your sister. [18:42] Gintoki     I'll protect what I want to protect. [18:44] President     What the hell are you going on about? [18:46] President     Die! [18:49] Gintoki     All right! Next! [18:52] Subordinates     Who is this guy?! [18:53] Shinpachi     What? [18:54] Otae     H-His style is crazy... [18:57] Shinpachi     ...but strong! [18:59] Gintoki     Shinichi! Go! [19:01] Shinpachi     It's "Shinpachi," you idiot! [19:04] Otae     Shin! [19:05] Otae     Will he be all right? [19:07] Otae     Why is he doing this for us? [19:10] Shinpachi     I don't know! [19:11] Shinpachi     But he'll come back! [19:13] Shinpachi     Because I sense it in him! [19:16] Shinpachi     The thing that Father talked about. [19:22] Shinpachi     He really came back! [19:24] Gintoki     That was tough! It was far tougher than I thought! [19:27] Shinpachi     Try a little harder! You didn't even last a minute! [19:31] Gintoki     You idiot! It's really tough to make a minute-long anime! [19:35] Gintoki     Just find an escape pod right now! [19:40] Shinpachi     Where are we? [19:41] Shinpachi     The engine room?! [19:45] President     It's a dead end. [19:47] President     Let's end this game of tag. [19:50] President     How pathetic... [19:52] President     The samurai who once protected the country with their swords [19:56] President     are now good-for-nothings who can't even protect a single girl. [20:00] President     There's nothing for you to protect. [20:03] President     This country... This sky, they all belong to us, the Amanto. [20:07] Gintoki     The country? The sky? [20:10] Gintoki     You can have 'em. [20:12] Gintoki     I'm busy protecting the things in front of me. [20:15] Gintoki     I don't know how many things I have failed to protect. [20:20] Gintoki     I don't have anything left, but at least if I find something falling before me... [20:26] Gintoki     I want to pick it up! [20:27] President     What pathetic warrior spirit... I've had enough of you! [20:32] President     Die! [20:33] Staff A     Hold on... Sir, no! [20:35] Staff A     What'll happen if we hit the you-know-what? [20:38] Staff A     We'll die along with the ship. [20:39] President     O-Oh no, I forgot... [20:42] President     Hey, he's climbing it! Hey! [20:45] President     Hey, wait! [20:46] President     That's not good! That's the ship's engine core. [20:50] Gintoki     What's precious to my client is precious to me. [20:54] Gintoki     In order to protect them... [20:55] Gintoki     I'll do... [20:57] Gintoki     ...anything! [21:04] President     No! He really did it! [21:15] Gintoki     What is this floating sensation? I feel sick! [21:17] Shinpachi     Is this thing falling?! Are we falling?! [21:29] Shinpachi     Luckily we were over the ocean, but... [21:33] Shinpachi     ...who knows what would have happened if we had fallen on the town. [21:37] Shinpachi     I've never seen such a crazy samurai. [21:40] Otae     But... [21:42] Otae     In the end, he saved us. [21:45] Gintoki     What?! [21:48] Gintoki     I aided in the arrest of ruffians who were disturbing the peace in Edo! [21:52] Gintoki     You can let the fact that I borrowed a police car slide! [21:54] Officer A     "Borrowed"? My car and I are a complete wreck! [21:57] Gintoki     You've always been a wreck! You actually look even better like that. [22:00] Officer A     Seriously?! What part? [22:02] Shinpachi     Sis, I... [22:04] Otae     Go. [22:06] Otae     You found something in him, right? [22:10] Otae     Go and find your sword. [22:13] Otae     I'll look for it my own way. [22:16] Otae     It's all right. I won't do anything rash anymore. [22:19] Otae     I don't want to see you cry either. [22:23] Shinpachi     Sis... [22:25] Shinpachi'S Father     Even if there comes a time when you must give up your sword, [22:28] Shinpachi'S Father     you must never lose the unwavering sword kept in your soul. [22:35] Shinpachi (Mono)     Father. [22:36] Shinpachi (Mono)     What sort of soul does this guy have? It's very difficult to tell. [22:41] Shinpachi (Mono)     I think it's dim but it's definitely shining. [22:46] Shinpachi (Mono)     Right now, I think I'd like to watch it shine for a while. SIGN     [24:26] Gintoki     Oh no! I forgot that Jump goes on sale today! [24:30] Gintoki     Should I use this opportunity to grow out of it? [24:32] Gintoki     No! Men are boys at heart until they die! [24:35] Gintoki     The next episode: [24:35] Gintoki     "Watch Out! Weekly Shonen JUMP Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!" SIGN    A super strong beautiful heroine who's a big eater? Kagura appears!! SIGN    Come over again, Sorachi-san. Next time, let's go to that store. [24:52] Gintoki     I wish I could shoot something like Getsuga Tensho, too...