E297 - Keep Your Farewells Short Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:00] Kag     Too hot. [00:01] Kag     I'm saying you guys are     making it too hot in here! [00:04] Kag     Get out! This is my parasol, 'kay?! [00:07] Gin     Hey, Kagura. I'm borrowing     this parasol, okay? [00:11] Gin     Kagura. [00:12] Gin     Hey, Kagura! [00:13] Shin     Kagura-chan! [00:14] DBJ     Unfortunately, this hospital doesn't     have any detailed data on the Yato race. [00:18] Shin     It's all because we took Kagura-chan's     premise lightly and did such a horrible thing! [00:22] Gin     I'll be staying in this     room from today on, too. [00:24] Gin     So, uh... [00:25] Gin     You can relax and get some sleep. [00:27] Gin     This room is the same as     the Odd Jobs you know. [00:30] Kag     Looks like he's reflected     on his actions a little. [00:33] Kag     I kinda feel better now. [00:36] Gin     Kagura! [00:37] Gin     Hang in there, Kagura! [00:39] Gin     Kagura! [00:39] Kag     Th-This is bad. [00:41] Shin     Kagura-chan, hang in there! [00:43] Shin     Please come back to us, Kagura-chan! [00:44] Kag     I'm ready to come back at any time,     so just give me a chance to! [00:47] Oto     She's fought long enough. [00:50] Oto     Let her rest in peace. [00:54] Oki     Give it a rest. SIGN    Keep Your Farewells Short SIGN    Kagura's request: Watch this program in a bright room     and at a safe distance from your TV, 'kay... [02:36] Oki     Give it a rest. [02:41] Kag     Soyo-chan! [02:43] Kag     And those guys! [02:46] Soyo     Kagura-chan! [02:47] Kon     Forgive me for acting on my own, Otae-san. [02:51] Kon     But I just couldn't keep it from her. [02:54] Hij     Relax. We're not gonna make     any funeral offerings. [02:58] Hij     We're only escorting the princess. [03:00] Kag     Did those guys bring Soyo-chan     here? I can't believe it. [03:05] Oki     Look at all of you, going on about     crap like offerings and funerals. [03:09] Oki     Knock it off. You're in the     presence of the princess. [03:13] Oki     And this runt ain't dead yet. [03:16] Oki     You know she ain't the type to be     killed off by something like this. [03:21] Oki     Rest assured, Princess. [03:24] Oki     She... She... [03:28] Oki     ain't gonna die until me and     her settle things for good. [03:37] Kon     Sogo... [03:46] Soyo     Okita-san is right. [03:48] Soyo     So please, everyone. [03:50] Soyo     Don't go deciding on Kagura-chan's funeral. [03:53] Soyo     Quit being so cruel. [03:56] Soyo     Kagura-chan is still alive. [03:59] Soyo     She's still breathing! [04:03] Soyo     Please, at least let her decide     on her funeral herself! [04:07] Kag     Uh, you're the cruelest one here! [04:09] Kag     What do you mean, "decide     on her funeral herself"?! [04:11] Soyo     Kagura-chan... [04:13] Soyo     I'll grant any wishes you might have. [04:19] Soyo     How do you want to die? [04:21] Kag     You're telling me to choose how     I die while I'm still alive?! [04:23] Kag     A natural-born sadist! [04:24] Kag     Keep your sadistic tendencies     in check, Soyo-chan! [04:27] Soyo     Please say something, Kagura-chan! [04:30] Kag     I know! [04:31] Kag     I'll use her talking to me to revive! [04:34] Kag     I— [04:35] Oki     What was that? [04:37] Oki     Oh, okay. [04:40] Kag     I can't breathe! What does     he think he's doing?! [04:43] Oki     I've figured out what she wants, Princess. [04:47] Soyo     Really? [04:48] Kag     I-I'm fading... [04:50] Oki     Let's start preparing for     the service right away. [05:09] Kag     Huh? Where am I? [05:11] Kag     Huh? I can't move my body or speak. [05:16] Kag     Am I still half asleep? [05:24] Gin     She's got such a peaceful look. [05:28] Shin     Kagura-chan! [05:29] Kag     What are these idiots doing? [05:31] G     We're all set. [05:33] Shin     Go ahead, then. [05:36] Kag     What? Go ahead with what? [06:08] Kag     Uh, what the heck? No way. [06:14] Kag     Is this... SIGN    Princess Soyo's Friend     Kagura-chan's Funeral Site [06:18] Kag     the beginning of my funeral?! [06:24] Kag     What's more, [06:25] Kag     I'm getting a state funeral?! SIGN    Goodbye, Kagura-chan. [06:32] Oki     Princess, I'm sure she's     overjoyed right about now [06:36] Oki     that she gets such a grand send-off. [06:40] Kag     Don't tell me... [06:42] Oki     Not only that, she gets     what she's always wanted... [06:46] Oki     She's bathing in sunlight [06:49] Oki     inside a tanning salon-style coffin     as she departs for the afterlife. [06:53] Kag     That... That bastard... [06:57] Kag     He knows! SIGN    Princess Soyo's Friend     Kagura-chan's Funeral Site [07:45] Oto     Thank you all so much for coming today. [07:52] Oto     So many of you have gathered here. [07:56] Oto     I'm sure that's made her very happy. [08:01] Oto     As you can see from her smile, she     was a girl that hated gloomy scenes, [08:07] Oto     so please, [08:10] Oto     send her off with a smile today. [08:15] Oto     I'm sure that's the best     parting gift we can offer her. [08:20] Oto     Now please come, one by one, to place     your flowers of tribute in the coffin [08:25] Oto     and say your last farewells to her. [08:34] Oki     Allow me to go first. [08:37] Shin     Okita-san. [08:40] Kon     Sogo... [08:42] Kon     I never thought I'd see him like this. [08:45] Kon     They fought every time     they ran into each other, [08:49] Kon     but I guess, to people, [08:51] Kon     losing a good friend [08:54] Kon     and losing an enemy you'd     always have spats with [08:58] Kon     aren't all that different. [09:04] Kag     Curse you! [09:07] Oki     How d'you like the coffin? Nice and cozy? [09:10] Oki     I figured you'd at least like to     bask in sunlight in the afterlife, [09:15] Oki     so I specially prepared this tanning     salon-style coffin for you. [09:18] Kag     Hot! [09:20] Kag     My body's burning up! [09:22] Kag     What the hell are you thinking?! [09:24] Kag     Let me out! Let me outta here! [09:27] Oki     Yeah, I can tell how deeply thankful you     are to me, even if you don't say a word. [09:31] Kag     Thankful, my ass! [09:33] Oki     You did all that because you wanted     to test their love for you, right? [09:38] Oki     In that case, instead of feigning illness, [09:39] Oki     dying would better let you see     how they truly feel about you. [09:43] Oki     Don't worry. You won't be able to move     or speak for another twelve hours. [09:48] Oki     It'll be the perfect playing-dead act. [09:50] Oki     Not many people get the chance     to see their own funerals, [09:54] Oki     so you'd better be grateful. [09:57] Oki     If their love for you is real, [09:59] Oki     I'm sure they'll notice. [10:02] Oki     Though, by then, you might     already be burned to a crisp [10:06] Oki     inside this coffin or the incinerator. [10:09] Oki     Well, you reap what you sow. [10:12] Oki     If you must resent someone, [10:13] Oki     resent yourself for doing something     so stupid as faking an illness. [10:15] Kag     Hold it! [10:17] Kag     Get back here, you scumbag! [10:19] Kag     I can't believe it! He was the last     person I wanted to figure it out! [10:23] Kag     He's trying to use my fake illness     as a pretext to kill me off! [10:27] Kag     So hot! I can't take this! [10:30] Kag     At this rate, I'll go to heaven for real! [10:34] Kag     I need to do something! [10:35] Kag     I can't move or speak, [10:38] Kag     but if this many people are     gonna come say their farewells, [10:41] Kag     then I'm sure someone will notice I'm alive! [10:44] Kag     They just need to take a good     look at my flushed complexion! [10:54] Soyo     Excuse me, everyone! [10:56] Soyo     Perhaps due to the tanning     salon-style coffin, [10:58] Soyo     the body is starting to deteriorate. [11:00] Soyo     We're running out of time. [11:02] Soyo     In order to make things more efficient, [11:04] Soyo     we'll put the coffin on a conveyor belt, [11:07] Soyo     so please say your farewells     as it goes past you. [11:10] Kag     What kind of farewell is that?! [11:13] Kag     Soyo-chan, don't let him trick you! [11:15] Soyo     The belt runs from this funeral     parlor to the crematory. SIGN    Funeral Parlor [11:20] Soyo     After everyone has said their farewells,     the body will head to the crematory, SIGN    Crematory [11:24] Soyo     where it'll automatically be turned     into ashes and shipped to heaven. SIGN    Crematory SIGN    Venue [11:27] Kag     What is this, a factory?! [11:29] Soyo     Please make sure to be quick,     so as to not clog up the line. [11:35] Kag     Hey! Could this funeral be     any more inappropriate?! [11:42] Oto     Kagura... [11:44] Oto     How could you pass away before me? [11:47] Oto     How could you make me go through this? [11:49] Oto     You know, I saw you as my own daughter... [11:52] Kag     She's not done yet! [11:53] Kag     She's not done saying all     those nice things yet! [11:56] Cat     Otose-san, you're taking too long. [11:58] Cat     You need to make it more compact! [12:00] Cat     Hey, wait! [12:02] Tama     Otose-sama, Catherine-sama, [12:04] Tama     you forgot to place your     flowers in the coffin. [12:06] Tama     Hurry, give them to me! [12:08] Tama     Kagura-sama, [12:10] Tama     please rest in peace— [12:15] Kag     Wh-Where are you sticking them?! [12:17] Kag     How am I supposed to rest like this?! [12:19] Tama     Oh, no! Kyubei-sama! [12:22] Tama     Could you fix the roses, please? [12:27] Kyu     Wait, what? [12:29] Kyu     K-Kagura-chan, thanks for everything! [12:34] Kag     Why'd you fix the roses in my nose?! [12:36] Tsu     No, Kyubei! Roses, not nose! [12:39] Tsu     Pull out the roses! [12:42] Tsu     K-Kagura, I'll always be indebted to you! [12:45] Kag     What the hell are you guys doing?! [12:48] Tsu     Goodbye! [12:53] Kag     No, hello. [12:56] Sac     Hey! [12:57] Sac     Just how much brute strength     have you got, Tsukki?! [13:00] Sac     Kagura-chan's... [13:01] Tsu     I-I did what I could! [13:03] Tsu     The rest is up to you, Sarutobi! [13:05] Sac     You say that after messing     everything up? How irresponsible! [13:11] Sac     Push or pull, she's not budging! [13:14] Sac     What am I supposed to do?! [13:15] Sac     What should I do?! [13:18] Sac     Kagura-chan, [13:19] Sac     I'll make Gin-san happy, [13:21] Sac     so relax and go back to     the afterlife already! [13:26] Kag     Can't breathe! [13:27] Kon     Hey, look. [13:28] Kon     What is that, Toshi? [13:30] Kag     Help, Toshi! [13:32] Kag     Somebody, anybody! Just help me! [13:35] Hij     I never knew there was     a funeral rite like this. [13:38] Hij     Just what kind of religion was she a part of? [13:40] Kon     At times like these, [13:42] Kon     it doesn't matter if she     was a friend or an enemy. [13:44] Kon     Let's give her a proper send-off, too. [13:47] Kag     No! [13:48] Kag     As if there'd ever be a     funeral rite like this! [13:51] Kag     I'll die! [13:52] Kag     If I get hit with that, I'll die for real! [13:54] Kag     Speed up, conveyor belt! [13:58] Hij     We can't catch up! [13:59] Kon     Hang in there, Toshi! [14:01] Kon     Don't give up! [14:02] Kag     No, don't try so hard! [14:04] Hij     How pathetic of us. [14:06] Hij     Can't we even give a kid a proper send-off?! [14:09] Kon     We can! We can do this! [14:12] Kon     Let's throw this boulder onto that coffin! [14:15] Kag     I can't tell if these idiots     are nice or evil! [14:19] Tae     What are you two doing? [14:22] Kag     Boss lady! [14:24] Tae     Why are you two carrying that boulder? [14:28] Kag     You're a lifesaver! [14:29] Kag     Stop those morons! [14:32] Tae     Why didn't you ask me for help? [14:35] Kag     That's what you take issue with?! [14:37] Kon     Otae-san! [14:38] Tae     Thank you, Kondo-san, Hijikata-san. [14:41] Tae     You're going so far for Kagura-chan... [14:44] Tae     Let's work together. [14:46] Kag     Hey! [14:47] Kag     They usually mix like oil and water, so why     are they cooperating now, of all times?! [15:01] Kon     Let's do this! [15:02] Kag     Run away! [15:03] Kag     Run for it, conveyor belt! [15:09] Hij     Crap, it's a slope! [15:10] Kon     No! The boulder! [15:13] Kag     Nice. Now the boulder's done for. [15:32] Kat     I can't see you on the other side of the     boulder, but I'll take over from here! [15:38] Hij     I can't see you on the other side of the     boulder, but I'll leave the rest to you. [15:42] Kag     What?! Now they decide to help each     other out, regardless of allegiances?! [15:47] Kat     Just you wait, Leader! SIGN    Distance to Crematory [15:51] Kag     These mortal enemies have     joined forces to try to kill me! [15:59] W     Hang in there! [16:00] G     Don't lose hope! [16:01] Kag     Who are you cheering for?! [16:06] Kag     Who are you singing for?! [16:17] Kag     Who is this funeral for?! [16:20] Mad     Now's your chance, guys! [16:22] Mad     While I'm offsetting the conveyor belt's motion, [16:25] Mad     crush the coffin along with me! [16:28] Kag     Just how badly do you guys     want to send me off?! [16:32] Kat     Here we go, everyone! [16:34] Kat     Leader... [16:36] All     Goodbye! [16:45] Kag     Oh my God. [16:47] Kag     I can't believe this is actually     gonna end up becoming my funeral. [16:51] Kag     Is this my punishment for getting     mad over a trivial dispute [16:55] Kag     and faking illness to test     their feelings for me? [16:59] Kag     But I never needed to.     I already knew how they felt. [17:03] Kag     They ran around in circles     and killed me in the end, [17:07] Kag     but they all came together for me. [17:10] Kag     They were all genuinely worried about me. [17:15] Kag     They all cried real tears for me. [17:20] Kag     And yet, I... I... [17:23] Kag     I should've said that one simple thing sooner... [17:50] Shin     Sorry, everyone. [17:52] Shin     While your desire to give Kagura-chan     a proper send-off makes us happy, [17:57] Shin     we can't bid farewell to her just yet. [18:01] Shin     There's something we need to tell her first. [18:11] Gin     I forgot to return your parasol. [18:14] Gin     In truth, I thought about     holding on to it as a memento, [18:19] Gin     but never mind raindrops or sunshine, [18:21] Gin     you're a girl even boulders rain down on. [18:25] Gin     You'll probably need this     in heaven, too, right? [18:29] Gin     Kagura... [18:33] Bo     Sorry. [18:35] Bo     Huh? [18:40] Kag     Oh, crap. I said that out loud. [18:49] Tae     Uh, did Kagura-chan speak just now? [18:53] Gin     Sh-She didn't! [18:54] Gin     What's wrong with you? [18:56] Shin     After all the money and help we received, [18:58] Shin     there's no way we could play the     "actually, she's still alive" card! [19:02] Gin     She's completely dead, right? [19:03] Gin     Yeah, no doubt about it! [19:04] Gin     She's dead! [19:05] Shin     Shall we continue the funeral? [19:07] Shin     Let's burn her to a crisp already! [19:09] Tae     Didn't she say "sorry"? [19:11] Gin     She didn't! [19:12] Tae     Could she have faked an illness     to get back at you after a fight? [19:15] Gin     Of course not! [19:17] Kag     Crap. [19:24] Gin     Th-This is bad. I feel     sick all of a sudden... [19:27] Shin     I-I'm sorry, but I don't feel too good, [19:30] Shin     so could we postpone the     service to a later date? [19:33] Tae     Oh, no need to worry. [19:35] Tae     That illness you have is already terminal. [19:40] Tae     Let's resume... [19:43] All     ...the funeral for the three of you. [19:45] Gin     Wait! I didn't do anything wrong! [19:47] Gin     If you wanna cremate someone, cremate her! [19:49] Kag     What are you talking about?! [19:50] Kag     In the first place, this is all because you— [19:51] Shin     Sis, I'm just a victim here! [19:54] Shin     I just got mixed up in this! [20:08] Soyo     What a relief. [20:10] Oki     You can say that again. SIGN    One Editor Is Enough SIGN    The G-Pen Is Capricious, and the Maru Pen Is Stubborn [21:45] Sha     Next episode: "One Editor Is Enough," and [21:48] Sha     "The G-Pen Is Capricious,     and the Maru Pen Is Stubborn." SIGN    Preview [21:51] Sha     A double feature! [21:52] Sha     They're both about us, Akurogi Musai,     and our road to manga stardom, Bro! SIGN    This Winter SIGN    Gintama SIGN    takes a sudden turn. [22:05] Zen     This isn't exciting. [22:06] Zen     Rather than guarding the shogun,     assassinating him sounds way more exciting. [22:11] Sac     You've really forgotten, huh? SIGN    Gintama SIGN    Shogun Assassination Arc [22:15] Soyo     Brother? [22:17] Soyo     Brother. [22:19] Soyo     Jeez, Brother! [22:22] Sho     Oh, Soyo. [22:25] Sho     Forgive me. I was lost in thought. [22:28] Soyo     Brother! [22:29] Sho     Don't tell me, it was poisoned? SIGN    The Shogun Assassination Plot SIGN    is put into motion. SIGN    Enemy... [22:33] Nbnb     Shigeshige, [22:34] Nbnb     you no longer have any     allies in this country. [22:38] Mat     Let's fight together for a buddy! SIGN    Ally... [22:42] Mat     I'm counting on you, buddies. [22:43] Mat     And you too, [22:45] Mat     double. [22:47] Gin     Uh, not that I care, but     could you hurry it up? [22:50] Bo     Why are you the double?! [22:53] Oki     I'm on your side, you know. SIGN    Or Traitor? [22:56] Kam     Aren't you the same? [22:58] Kam     You have the eyes of a killer. [23:00] Kon     You're the only ones who can. [23:02] Kag     What are you so afraid of? [23:04] Shin     Gin-san... [23:05] Shin     Just what's going to happen to the world now? [23:16] Tak     Took you long enough. [23:17] Tak     I got sick of waiting for you, [23:20] Tak     Gintoki. [23:27] Gin     Before dawn. [23:28] Gin     The night is darkest just before the dawn. SIGN    The past     and     the truth SIGN    are revealed. [23:31] Gin     But keep your eyes open. [23:35] Gin     I'm Sakata Gintoki,     disciple of Yoshida Shoyo! SIGN    Gintama SIGN    Shogun Assassination Arc [23:44] Sho     Zenzo... [23:45] Sho     I leave the rest to you. SIGN    Begins airing December 2. SIGN    The story SIGN    begins to unfold.