# E297 - Keep Your Farewells Short
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYGGPPV1Y/keep-your-farewells-short)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Kag**
Too hot.
**[00:01] Kag**
I'm saying you guys are
making it too hot in here!
**[00:04] Kag**
Get out! This is my parasol, 'kay?!
**[00:07] Gin**
Hey, Kagura. I'm borrowing
this parasol, okay?
**[00:11] Gin**
Kagura.
**[00:12] Gin**
Hey, Kagura!
**[00:13] Shin**
Kagura-chan!
**[00:14] DBJ**
Unfortunately, this hospital doesn't
have any detailed data on the Yato race.
**[00:18] Shin**
It's all because we took Kagura-chan's
premise lightly and did such a horrible thing!
**[00:22] Gin**
I'll be staying in this
room from today on, too.
**[00:24] Gin**
So, uh...
**[00:25] Gin**
You can relax and get some sleep.
**[00:27] Gin**
This room is the same as
the Odd Jobs you know.
**[00:30] Kag**
* Looks like he's reflected*
* on his actions a little.*
**[00:33] Kag**
I kinda feel better now.
**[00:36] Gin**
Kagura!
**[00:37] Gin**
Hang in there, Kagura!
**[00:39] Gin**
Kagura!
**[00:39] Kag**
*Th-This is bad.*
**[00:41] Shin**
Kagura-chan, hang in there!
**[00:43] Shin**
Please come back to us, Kagura-chan!
**[00:44] Kag**
* I'm ready to come back at any time,*
* so just give me a chance to!*
**[00:47] Oto**
She's fought long enough.
**[00:50] Oto**
Let her rest in peace.
**[00:54] Oki**
Give it a rest.
***SIGN*** Keep Your Farewells Short
***SIGN*** Kagura's request: Watch this program in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV, 'kay...
**[02:36] Oki**
Give it a rest.
**[02:41] Kag**
*Soyo-chan!*
**[02:43] Kag**
*And those guys!*
**[02:46] Soyo**
Kagura-chan!
**[02:47] Kon**
Forgive me for acting on my own, Otae-san.
**[02:51] Kon**
But I just couldn't keep it from her.
**[02:54] Hij**
Relax. We're not gonna make
any funeral offerings.
**[02:58] Hij**
We're only escorting the princess.
**[03:00] Kag**
* Did those guys bring Soyo-chan*
* here? I can't believe it.*
**[03:05] Oki**
Look at all of you, going on about
crap like offerings and funerals.
**[03:09] Oki**
Knock it off. You're in the
presence of the princess.
**[03:13] Oki**
And this runt ain't dead yet.
**[03:16] Oki**
You know she ain't the type to be
killed off by something like this.
**[03:21] Oki**
Rest assured, Princess.
**[03:24] Oki**
She... She...
**[03:28] Oki**
ain't gonna die until me and
her settle things for good.
**[03:37] Kon**
Sogo...
**[03:46] Soyo**
Okita-san is right.
**[03:48] Soyo**
So please, everyone.
**[03:50] Soyo**
Don't go deciding on Kagura-chan's funeral.
**[03:53] Soyo**
Quit being so cruel.
**[03:56] Soyo**
Kagura-chan is still alive.
**[03:59] Soyo**
She's still breathing!
**[04:03] Soyo**
Please, at least let her decide
on her funeral herself!
**[04:07] Kag**
*Uh, you're the cruelest one here!*
**[04:09] Kag**
* What do you mean, "decide*
* on her funeral herself"?!*
**[04:11] Soyo**
Kagura-chan...
**[04:13] Soyo**
I'll grant any wishes you might have.
**[04:19] Soyo**
How do you want to die?
**[04:21] Kag**
* You're telling me to choose how*
* I die while I'm still alive?!*
**[04:23] Kag**
*A natural-born sadist!*
**[04:24] Kag**
* Keep your sadistic tendencies*
* in check, Soyo-chan!*
**[04:27] Soyo**
Please say something, Kagura-chan!
**[04:30] Kag**
*I know!*
**[04:31] Kag**
*I'll use her talking to me to revive!*
**[04:34] Kag**
I—
**[04:35] Oki**
What was that?
**[04:37] Oki**
Oh, okay.
**[04:40] Kag**
* I can't breathe! What does*
* he think he's doing?!*
**[04:43] Oki**
I've figured out what she wants, Princess.
**[04:47] Soyo**
Really?
**[04:48] Kag**
*I-I'm fading...*
**[04:50] Oki**
Let's start preparing for
the service right away.
**[05:09] Kag**
*Huh? Where am I?*
**[05:11] Kag**
*Huh? I can't move my body or speak.*
**[05:16] Kag**
*Am I still half asleep?*
**[05:24] Gin**
She's got such a peaceful look.
**[05:28] Shin**
Kagura-chan!
**[05:29] Kag**
*What are these idiots doing?*
**[05:31] G**
We're all set.
**[05:33] Shin**
Go ahead, then.
**[05:36] Kag**
*What? Go ahead with what?*
**[06:08] Kag**
*Uh, what the heck? No way.*
**[06:14] Kag**
*Is this...*
***SIGN*** Princess Soyo's Friend
Kagura-chan's Funeral Site
**[06:18] Kag**
*the beginning of my funeral?!*
**[06:24] Kag**
*What's more,*
**[06:25] Kag**
*I'm getting a state funeral?!*
***SIGN*** Goodbye, Kagura-chan.
**[06:32] Oki**
Princess, I'm sure she's
overjoyed right about now
**[06:36] Oki**
that she gets such a grand send-off.
**[06:40] Kag**
*Don't tell me...*
**[06:42] Oki**
Not only that, she gets
what she's always wanted...
**[06:46] Oki**
She's bathing in sunlight
**[06:49] Oki**
inside a tanning salon-style coffin
as she departs for the afterlife.
**[06:53] Kag**
*That... That bastard...*
**[06:57] Kag**
*He knows!*
***SIGN*** Princess Soyo's Friend
Kagura-chan's Funeral Site
**[07:45] Oto**
Thank you all so much for coming today.
**[07:52] Oto**
So many of you have gathered here.
**[07:56] Oto**
I'm sure that's made her very happy.
**[08:01] Oto**
As you can see from her smile, she
was a girl that hated gloomy scenes,
**[08:07] Oto**
so please,
**[08:10] Oto**
send her off with a smile today.
**[08:15] Oto**
I'm sure that's the best
parting gift we can offer her.
**[08:20] Oto**
Now please come, one by one, to place
your flowers of tribute in the coffin
**[08:25] Oto**
and say your last farewells to her.
**[08:34] Oki**
Allow me to go first.
**[08:37] Shin**
Okita-san.
**[08:40] Kon**
Sogo...
**[08:42] Kon**
I never thought I'd see him like this.
**[08:45] Kon**
They fought every time
they ran into each other,
**[08:49] Kon**
but I guess, to people,
**[08:51] Kon**
losing a good friend
**[08:54] Kon**
and losing an enemy you'd
always have spats with
**[08:58] Kon**
aren't all that different.
**[09:04] Kag**
*Curse you!*
**[09:07] Oki**
How d'you like the coffin? Nice and cozy?
**[09:10] Oki**
I figured you'd at least like to
bask in sunlight in the afterlife,
**[09:15] Oki**
so I specially prepared this tanning
salon-style coffin for you.
**[09:18] Kag**
*Hot!*
**[09:20] Kag**
*My body's burning up!*
**[09:22] Kag**
*What the hell are you thinking?!*
**[09:24] Kag**
*Let me out! Let me outta here!*
**[09:27] Oki**
Yeah, I can tell how deeply thankful you
are to me, even if you don't say a word.
**[09:31] Kag**
*Thankful, my ass!*
**[09:33] Oki**
You did all that because you wanted
to test their love for you, right?
**[09:38] Oki**
In that case, instead of feigning illness,
**[09:39] Oki**
dying would better let you see
how they truly feel about you.
**[09:43] Oki**
Don't worry. You won't be able to move
or speak for another twelve hours.
**[09:48] Oki**
It'll be the perfect playing-dead act.
**[09:50] Oki**
Not many people get the chance
to see their own funerals,
**[09:54] Oki**
so you'd better be grateful.
**[09:57] Oki**
If their love for you is real,
**[09:59] Oki**
I'm sure they'll notice.
**[10:02] Oki**
Though, by then, you might
already be burned to a crisp
**[10:06] Oki**
inside this coffin or the incinerator.
**[10:09] Oki**
Well, you reap what you sow.
**[10:12] Oki**
If you must resent someone,
**[10:13] Oki**
resent yourself for doing something
so stupid as faking an illness.
**[10:15] Kag**
*Hold it!*
**[10:17] Kag**
*Get back here, you scumbag!*
**[10:19] Kag**
* I can't believe it! He was the last*
* person I wanted to figure it out!*
**[10:23] Kag**
* He's trying to use my fake illness*
* as a pretext to kill me off!*
**[10:27] Kag**
*So hot! I can't take this!*
**[10:30] Kag**
*At this rate, I'll go to heaven for real!*
**[10:34] Kag**
*I need to do something!*
**[10:35] Kag**
*I can't move or speak,*
**[10:38] Kag**
* but if this many people are*
* gonna come say their farewells,*
**[10:41] Kag**
*then I'm sure someone will notice I'm alive!*
**[10:44] Kag**
* They just need to take a good*
* look at my flushed complexion!*
**[10:54] Soyo**
Excuse me, everyone!
**[10:56] Soyo**
Perhaps due to the tanning
salon-style coffin,
**[10:58] Soyo**
the body is starting to deteriorate.
**[11:00] Soyo**
We're running out of time.
**[11:02] Soyo**
In order to make things more efficient,
**[11:04] Soyo**
we'll put the coffin on a conveyor belt,
**[11:07] Soyo**
so please say your farewells
as it goes past you.
**[11:10] Kag**
*What kind of farewell is that?!*
**[11:13] Kag**
*Soyo-chan, don't let him trick you!*
**[11:15] Soyo**
The belt runs from this funeral
parlor to the crematory.
***SIGN*** Funeral Parlor
**[11:20] Soyo**
After everyone has said their farewells,
the body will head to the crematory,
***SIGN*** Crematory
**[11:24] Soyo**
where it'll automatically be turned
into ashes and shipped to heaven.
***SIGN*** Crematory
***SIGN*** Venue
**[11:27] Kag**
*What is this, a factory?!*
**[11:29] Soyo**
Please make sure to be quick,
so as to not clog up the line.
**[11:35] Kag**
* Hey! Could this funeral be*
* any more inappropriate?!*
**[11:42] Oto**
Kagura...
**[11:44] Oto**
How could you pass away before me?
**[11:47] Oto**
How could you make me go through this?
**[11:49] Oto**
You know, I saw you as my own daughter...
**[11:52] Kag**
*She's not done yet!*
**[11:53] Kag**
* She's not done saying all*
* those nice things yet!*
**[11:56] Cat**
Otose-san, you're taking too long.
**[11:58] Cat**
You need to make it more compact!
**[12:00] Cat**
Hey, wait!
**[12:02] Tama**
Otose-sama, Catherine-sama,
**[12:04] Tama**
you forgot to place your
flowers in the coffin.
**[12:06] Tama**
Hurry, give them to me!
**[12:08] Tama**
Kagura-sama,
**[12:10] Tama**
please rest in peace—
**[12:15] Kag**
*Wh-Where are you sticking them?!*
**[12:17] Kag**
*How am I supposed to rest like this?!*
**[12:19] Tama**
Oh, no! Kyubei-sama!
**[12:22] Tama**
Could you fix the roses, please?
**[12:27] Kyu**
Wait, what?
**[12:29] Kyu**
K-Kagura-chan, thanks for everything!
**[12:34] Kag**
*Why'd you fix the roses in my nose?!*
**[12:36] Tsu**
No, Kyubei! Roses, not nose!
**[12:39] Tsu**
Pull out the roses!
**[12:42] Tsu**
K-Kagura, I'll always be indebted to you!
**[12:45] Kag**
*What the hell are you guys doing?!*
**[12:48] Tsu**
Goodbye!
**[12:53] Kag**
*No, hello.*
**[12:56] Sac**
Hey!
**[12:57] Sac**
Just how much brute strength
have you got, Tsukki?!
**[13:00] Sac**
Kagura-chan's...
**[13:01] Tsu**
I-I did what I could!
**[13:03] Tsu**
The rest is up to you, Sarutobi!
**[13:05] Sac**
You say that after messing
everything up? How irresponsible!
**[13:11] Sac**
Push or pull, she's not budging!
**[13:14] Sac**
What am I supposed to do?!
**[13:15] Sac**
What should I do?!
**[13:18] Sac**
Kagura-chan,
**[13:19] Sac**
I'll make Gin-san happy,
**[13:21] Sac**
so relax and go back to
the afterlife already!
**[13:26] Kag**
*Can't breathe!*
**[13:27] Kon**
Hey, look.
**[13:28] Kon**
What is that, Toshi?
**[13:30] Kag**
*Help, Toshi!*
**[13:32] Kag**
*Somebody, anybody! Just help me!*
**[13:35] Hij**
I never knew there was
a funeral rite like this.
**[13:38] Hij**
Just what kind of religion was she a part of?
**[13:40] Kon**
At times like these,
**[13:42] Kon**
it doesn't matter if she
was a friend or an enemy.
**[13:44] Kon**
Let's give her a proper send-off, too.
**[13:47] Kag**
*No!*
**[13:48] Kag**
* As if there'd ever be a*
* funeral rite like this!*
**[13:51] Kag**
*I'll die!*
**[13:52] Kag**
*If I get hit with that, I'll die for real!*
**[13:54] Kag**
*Speed up, conveyor belt!*
**[13:58] Hij**
We can't catch up!
**[13:59] Kon**
Hang in there, Toshi!
**[14:01] Kon**
Don't give up!
**[14:02] Kag**
*No, don't try so hard!*
**[14:04] Hij**
How pathetic of us.
**[14:06] Hij**
Can't we even give a kid a proper send-off?!
**[14:09] Kon**
We can! We can do this!
**[14:12] Kon**
Let's throw this boulder onto that coffin!
**[14:15] Kag**
* I can't tell if these idiots*
* are nice or evil!*
**[14:19] Tae**
What are you two doing?
**[14:22] Kag**
*Boss lady!*
**[14:24] Tae**
Why are you two carrying that boulder?
**[14:28] Kag**
*You're a lifesaver!*
**[14:29] Kag**
*Stop those morons!*
**[14:32] Tae**
Why didn't you ask me for help?
**[14:35] Kag**
*That's what you take issue with?!*
**[14:37] Kon**
Otae-san!
**[14:38] Tae**
Thank you, Kondo-san, Hijikata-san.
**[14:41] Tae**
You're going so far for Kagura-chan...
**[14:44] Tae**
Let's work together.
**[14:46] Kag**
*Hey!*
**[14:47] Kag**
* They usually mix like oil and water, so why*
* are they cooperating now, of all times?!*
**[15:01] Kon**
Let's do this!
**[15:02] Kag**
*Run away!*
**[15:03] Kag**
*Run for it, conveyor belt!*
**[15:09] Hij**
Crap, it's a slope!
**[15:10] Kon**
No! The boulder!
**[15:13] Kag**
*Nice. Now the boulder's done for.*
**[15:32] Kat**
I can't see you on the other side of the
boulder, but I'll take over from here!
**[15:38] Hij**
I can't see you on the other side of the
boulder, but I'll leave the rest to you.
**[15:42] Kag**
* What?! Now they decide to help each*
* other out, regardless of allegiances?!*
**[15:47] Kat**
Just you wait, Leader!
***SIGN*** Distance to Crematory
**[15:51] Kag**
* These mortal enemies have*
* joined forces to try to kill me!*
**[15:59] W**
Hang in there!
**[16:00] G**
Don't lose hope!
**[16:01] Kag**
*Who are you cheering for?!*
**[16:06] Kag**
*Who are you singing for?!*
**[16:17] Kag**
*Who is this funeral for?!*
**[16:20] Mad**
Now's your chance, guys!
**[16:22] Mad**
While I'm offsetting the conveyor belt's motion,
**[16:25] Mad**
crush the coffin along with me!
**[16:28] Kag**
* Just how badly do you guys*
* want to send me off?!*
**[16:32] Kat**
Here we go, everyone!
**[16:34] Kat**
Leader...
**[16:36] All**
Goodbye!
**[16:45] Kag**
*Oh my God.*
**[16:47] Kag**
* I can't believe this is actually*
* gonna end up becoming my funeral.*
**[16:51] Kag**
* Is this my punishment for getting*
* mad over a trivial dispute*
**[16:55] Kag**
* and faking illness to test*
* their feelings for me?*
**[16:59] Kag**
* But I never needed to.*
* I already knew how they felt.*
**[17:03] Kag**
* They ran around in circles*
* and killed me in the end,*
**[17:07] Kag**
*but they all came together for me.*
**[17:10] Kag**
*They were all genuinely worried about me.*
**[17:15] Kag**
*They all cried real tears for me.*
**[17:20] Kag**
*And yet, I... I...*
**[17:23] Kag**
*I should've said that one simple thing sooner...*
**[17:50] Shin**
Sorry, everyone.
**[17:52] Shin**
While your desire to give Kagura-chan
a proper send-off makes us happy,
**[17:57] Shin**
we can't bid farewell to her just yet.
**[18:01] Shin**
There's something we need to tell her first.
**[18:11] Gin**
I forgot to return your parasol.
**[18:14] Gin**
In truth, I thought about
holding on to it as a memento,
**[18:19] Gin**
but never mind raindrops or sunshine,
**[18:21] Gin**
you're a girl even boulders rain down on.
**[18:25] Gin**
You'll probably need this
in heaven, too, right?
**[18:29] Gin**
Kagura...
**[18:33] Bo**
Sorry.
**[18:35] Bo**
Huh?
**[18:40] Kag**
*Oh, crap. I said that out loud.*
**[18:49] Tae**
Uh, did Kagura-chan speak just now?
**[18:53] Gin**
Sh-She didn't!
**[18:54] Gin**
What's wrong with you?
**[18:56] Shin**
After all the money and help we received,
**[18:58] Shin**
there's no way we could play the
"actually, she's still alive" card!
**[19:02] Gin**
She's completely dead, right?
**[19:03] Gin**
Yeah, no doubt about it!
**[19:04] Gin**
She's dead!
**[19:05] Shin**
Shall we continue the funeral?
**[19:07] Shin**
Let's burn her to a crisp already!
**[19:09] Tae**
Didn't she say "sorry"?
**[19:11] Gin**
She didn't!
**[19:12] Tae**
Could she have faked an illness
to get back at you after a fight?
**[19:15] Gin**
Of course not!
**[19:17] Kag**
Crap.
**[19:24] Gin**
Th-This is bad. I feel
sick all of a sudden...
**[19:27] Shin**
I-I'm sorry, but I don't feel too good,
**[19:30] Shin**
so could we postpone the
service to a later date?
**[19:33] Tae**
Oh, no need to worry.
**[19:35] Tae**
That illness you have is already terminal.
**[19:40] Tae**
Let's resume...
**[19:43] All**
...the funeral for the three of you.
**[19:45] Gin**
Wait! I didn't do anything wrong!
**[19:47] Gin**
If you wanna cremate someone, cremate her!
**[19:49] Kag**
What are you talking about?!
**[19:50] Kag**
In the first place, this is all because you—
**[19:51] Shin**
Sis, I'm just a victim here!
**[19:54] Shin**
I just got mixed up in this!
**[20:08] Soyo**
What a relief.
**[20:10] Oki**
You can say that again.
***SIGN*** One Editor Is Enough
***SIGN*** The G-Pen Is Capricious, and the Maru Pen Is Stubborn
**[21:45] Sha**
Next episode: "One Editor Is Enough," and
**[21:48] Sha**
"The G-Pen Is Capricious,
and the Maru Pen Is Stubborn."
***SIGN*** Preview
**[21:51] Sha**
A double feature!
**[21:52] Sha**
They're both about us, Akurogi Musai,
and our road to manga stardom, Bro!
***SIGN*** This Winter
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** takes a sudden turn.
**[22:05] Zen**
This isn't exciting.
**[22:06] Zen**
Rather than guarding the shogun,
assassinating him sounds way more exciting.
**[22:11] Sac**
You've really forgotten, huh?
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** Shogun Assassination Arc
**[22:15] Soyo**
Brother?
**[22:17] Soyo**
Brother.
**[22:19] Soyo**
Jeez, Brother!
**[22:22] Sho**
Oh, Soyo.
**[22:25] Sho**
Forgive me. I was lost in thought.
**[22:28] Soyo**
Brother!
**[22:29] Sho**
Don't tell me, it was poisoned?
***SIGN*** The Shogun Assassination Plot
***SIGN*** is put into motion.
***SIGN*** Enemy...
**[22:33] Nbnb**
Shigeshige,
**[22:34] Nbnb**
you no longer have any
allies in this country.
**[22:38] Mat**
Let's fight together for a buddy!
***SIGN*** Ally...
**[22:42] Mat**
I'm counting on you, buddies.
**[22:43] Mat**
And you too,
**[22:45] Mat**
double.
**[22:47] Gin**
Uh, not that I care, but
could you hurry it up?
**[22:50] Bo**
Why are you the double?!
**[22:53] Oki**
I'm on your side, you know.
***SIGN*** Or Traitor?
**[22:56] Kam**
Aren't you the same?
**[22:58] Kam**
You have the eyes of a killer.
**[23:00] Kon**
You're the only ones who can.
**[23:02] Kag**
What are you so afraid of?
**[23:04] Shin**
Gin-san...
**[23:05] Shin**
Just what's going to happen to the world now?
**[23:16] Tak**
Took you long enough.
**[23:17] Tak**
I got sick of waiting for you,
**[23:20] Tak**
Gintoki.
**[23:27] Gin**
Before dawn.
**[23:28] Gin**
The night is darkest just before the dawn.
***SIGN*** The past
and
the truth
***SIGN*** are revealed.
**[23:31] Gin**
But keep your eyes open.
**[23:35] Gin**
I'm Sakata Gintoki,
disciple of Yoshida Shoyo!
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** Shogun Assassination Arc
**[23:44] Sho**
Zenzo...
**[23:45] Sho**
I leave the rest to you.
***SIGN*** Begins airing December 2.
***SIGN*** The story
***SIGN*** begins to unfold.