E278 - All Mothers Pack Too Much Food Into a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Temple School
[00:01] T
    Okay, then. We'll continue after lunch break.
[00:04] B
    All right! Time to eat!
[00:06] B
    Yay!
[00:07] B
    Hey, let's go eat outside!
[00:12] G
    Let's eat together, Izumi-chan.
[00:15] G
    What's wrong?
[00:17] I
    Has Seita-kun still not made any friends?
[00:20] I
    And it's been a while since he joined...
[00:23] G
    Jeez, boys can be so inconsiderate.
[00:27] G
    Hey, Seita-kun!
[00:31] G
    Would you like to have lunch with us?
[00:33] G
    Izumi-chan wants to know.
[00:35] I
    H-Hey, I never said—
[00:37] Sei
    W-Well, I...
[00:39] Sei
    O-Oh, darn! I forgot my lunch!
[00:43] I
    Oh, really?
[00:44] I
    I can share mine if you want.
[00:47] Sei
    N-Nah, it's fine!
[00:50] Sei
    I-I'll go buy something
    at the convenience store!
[00:54] I
    Seita-kun?!
[00:57] G
    There he goes.
[00:58] B
    Don't waste your time, Izumi.
[01:00] B
    He's always like that.
[01:03] B
    We've asked him to join us before, too,
[01:05] B
    but he always runs off
    somewhere at lunchtime.
[01:08] I
    Is that so?
[01:09] G
    He's blowing his chance to make friends.
[01:15] I
    Seita-kun...
[01:18] I
    What could he be doing by himself?
SIGN    All Mothers Pack Too Much Food Into 
    a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[03:04] Hi
    Seita hasn't been himself lately.
[03:08] Hi
    Not since he started temple school, I think.
[03:11] Hi
    Before, he was all excited
    about making lots of friends,
[03:15] Hi
    but there's been no hint of him bringing
    friends over, or having any fun at all.
[03:20] Hi
    To top it all off, look at this.
[03:23] Hi
    That glutton
[03:26] Hi
    is bringing his lunch home unfinished.
[03:30] Hi
    What's wrong with him?
    These look so delicious.
[03:34] Hi
    Is he not fitting in at temple school?
[03:38] Tsu
    Hinowa, was today sports day or something?
[03:41] Hi
    For a child, every day might
    as well be sports day.
[03:44] Tsu
    That's not what I meant!
[03:46] Tsu
    Are you making him these
    extravagant lunches every day?
[03:49] Hi
    We can't have him unable to concentrate
    due to an empty stomach, right?
[03:53] Hi
    Moms sure have it rough, huh?
[03:55] Hi
    I can't believe they all
    cook this much every day.
[04:00] Tsu
    Hinowa, you're the only one who has it rough.
[04:03] Tsu
    And it's not Seita who's not
    fitting in at temple school.
[04:08] Tsu
    It's these lunches.
[04:10] Tsu
    Seita's probably losing his
    chances to make friends because
[04:14] Tsu
    he's too embarrassed to be seen eating these.
[04:17] Hi
    What? Because of the lunches?
[04:19] Hi
    Why?
[04:20] Tsu
    If a newcomer were to eat stuff like this,
[04:22] Tsu
    he'd obviously stick out like a sore thumb!
[04:25] Tsu
    Kids' society is harsher and more
    exclusive than adults realize.
[04:29] B
    This ain't sports day, you know.
[04:32] B
    Your parents have no common sense, huh?
[04:34] Hi
    Why? I don't put anything you'd
    be embarrassed to show people.
[04:39] Hi
    And I pack it with love!
[04:43] Tsu
    And I'm telling you,
    that's not the issue here.
[04:46] Tsu
    For a kid to fit in, he has to have
    the same things everybody has,
[04:49] Tsu
    and do the same things they do.
[04:51] Tsu
    That's right. Being "normal"
    is the most important thing.
[04:55] Hi
    Really?
[04:56] Sei
    That's Tsukuyo-nee for you.
[04:58] Sei
    Yoshiwara's queen of reading between
    the lines is a cut above the rest.
[05:02] Sei
    She's right on the money.
[05:04] Sei
    I wanna eat a normal lunch,
[05:06] Sei
    normally, with everyone else.
[05:12] Hi
    So that's how it was.
    Because of me, Seita has...
[05:16] Hi
    But what's a normal lunch like, anyway?
[05:20] Hi
    How do normal mothers make normal lunches?
[05:24] Tsu
    N-Normally, of course.
[05:28] Hi
    In that case, Tsukuyo, you
    make Seita's lunch tomorrow.
[05:33] Hi
    You understand what a normal lunch made
    by a normal mother is like, don't you?
[05:38] Tsu
    W-Wait a second!
    I can't cook to save my li—
[05:41] Hi
    Then this is a perfect opportunity.
[05:43] Hi
    If you can't make a lunch or two,
[05:45] Hi
    Gin-san will come to hate you.
[05:47] Tsu
    Why'd you bring that moron up?!
[05:49] Sei
    Tsukuyo-nee's making me lunch?
    Will it be all right?
SIGN    Temple School
[05:54] T
    Okay. That does it for the morning classes.
[05:57] B
    All right! Time for lunch!
[06:00] ---
    Yay!
[06:09] I
    You didn't forget your lunch today, huh?
[06:11] I
    Now you've got to eat with us, Seita-kun.
[06:14] Sei
    Uh, o-okay.
[06:16] Sei
    Sure.
[06:19] G
    You know, Izumi-chan was all
    worried you hated us or something.
[06:25] Sei
    O-Of course not. I just...
[06:30] I
    Wow, your lunch is amazing!
[06:33] G
    A decorated lunch?
[06:35] I
    Aren't these those things ninjas use?
[06:37] G
    Kunai, yeah. They're rice kunai.
[06:39] I
    Wow! This is so well made!
[06:41] G
    Look, there's seaweed wrapped
    around them here.
[06:45] Sei
    This is it! This is the kind
    of lunch I've been waiting for!
[06:50] (Flashback) Tsu
    "Decorated lunches"?
[06:51] (Flashback) Tsu
    Is that what's popular these days?
[06:54] (Flashback) Hi
    Apparently it's important that they
    be playful so kids can enjoy them.
[06:58] Sei
    They're even taking trends into account!
[07:00] Sei
    Mom and Tsukuyo-nee can do anything
    if they put their minds to it!
SIGN    One of the rice kunai contains a surprise.  Eat with caution!
[07:03] Sei
    What's more, they even included
    a game people can enjoy together!
[07:07] Sei
    F-Feel free to have some if you'd like.
[07:10] G
    Can we?
[07:12] Sei
    But one of these contains a surprise.
[07:14] I
    Really?
[07:16] I
    Your mom sounds like a fun person.
[07:19] I
    I wonder what's in them.
[07:21] G
    I can't wait to find out.
[07:23] Sei
    Perfect!
[07:25] Sei
    This is perfect!
[07:26] Sei
    A lunch like this will help me
    break the ice with everyone!
[07:35] Sei
    Huh? Aren't you gonna eat?
[07:37] I
    Uh, Seita-kun...
[07:40] I
    You're bleeding...
SIGN    Temple School
[07:48] I
    Sensei! Seita-kun is hurt!
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[07:54] Hi
    He didn't finish today, either.
[07:58] Tsu
    So even a decorated lunch wasn't good enough?
[08:01] Sac
    What part of this is "decorated"?
    It's a death lunch, if anything.
[08:04] Hi
    We followed the instructions
    and made it playful...
[08:07] Sac
    Why would an enjoyable lunchtime include a
    life-threatening game of Russian roulette?
[08:11] Tsu
    But I've never made a lunch for anyone before!
[08:15] Sac
    You're hopeless.
[08:17] Sac
    I can't believe that Yoshiwara's star
    courtesans can't even prepare a kid's lunch.
[08:22] Sac
    In the end, I guess your
    bodies are all you've got.
[08:25] Sac
    You're a couple of loser women that guys
    want to play around with, but never marry.
[08:30] Sac
    Did you really think all mothers make
    such elaborate lunches every day?
[08:33] Sac
    That's only until kindergarten, you know.
[08:36] Sac
    Boys his age want to rip off the
    nappies their parents put on them
[08:42] Sac
    and try to act all grown-up.
SIGN    Who could eat this crap?!
[08:45] Sei
    Who could eat this crap?!
[08:47] Sac
    That's the age they get most embarrassed
    about lunches packed with love.
[08:51] Sac
    Normal mothers are much
    lazier with their lunches.
[08:55] Sac
    Giving him that space is the only way
    you can show your love to a boy his age.
[09:01] Sei
    Sa-san actually knows where it's at.
[09:05] Sac
    Let me give it a shot next.
[09:07] Sac
    I'll show you what a normal mother is like.
SIGN    Temple School
[09:14] I
    Uh, Seita-kun.
[09:16] I
    Are you all right now? Did your wound heal?
[09:19] Sei
    Yeah, I'm fine.
[09:20] I
    That's good to hear.
[09:22] I
    Then why don't we finally eat together today?
[09:24] G
    That's probably a bad idea, Izumi-chan.
[09:27] B
    She's right, Izumi.
[09:29] I
    Sorry for screaming last time.
[09:31] I
    I was just so shocked.
[09:33] Sei
    I should be the one apologizing.
    My mom takes her pranks too far.
[09:37] I
    Um, I made too much lunch today.
[09:41] I
    Have some, if you'd like.
[09:44] Sei
    Is she trying to look out for me?
[09:47] I
    There's two of each side dish,
    so feel free to take half.
[09:50] Sei
    She must've figured out that my
    mom can't make a proper lunch.
[09:54] Sei
    She's such a nice girl!
[09:56] Sei
    But she's totally looking
    down on my mom here.
[10:00] Sei
    I can't let that stand.
[10:02] Sei
    Th-Then you can have half of my lunch!
[10:06] I
    B-But...
[10:07] Sei
    It's all good.
[10:08] Sei
    I've got a normal lunch today!
[10:10] Sei
    My mom's completely normal!
[10:13] Sei
    So take half!
[10:15] I
    But...
SIGN    Yesterday's lasagna is in the fridge, 
    so heat it up and eat it. 
    P.S. If Mom and Dad break up,
     who will you stay with, Seita?
[10:16] I
    You don't even have half a lunch.
[10:20] Sac
    Yesterday's lasagna is in the fridge,
    so heat it up and eat it.
[10:25] Sac
    P.S. If Mom and Dad break up,
    who will you stay with, Seita?
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[10:34] Kyu
    Sure, it's the kind of
    thing a mother would do,
[10:38] Kyu
    but this is too lazy.
[10:40] Sac
    That's what mothers are like.
[10:42] Sac
    They think even cold love can be
    warmed up again with a microwave.
SIGN    P.S. If Mom and Dad break up, who will you stay with, Seita?
[10:47] Kyu
    And the postscript has
    nothing to do with lunch.
[10:50] Sac
    It's a dessert that's a bit on the heavy side.
[10:52] Kyu
    This lunch would only
    lead to an upset stomach!
[10:54] Sac
    What would you rather I'd done, then?
[10:57] Sac
    Aren't you a sad monster with the body
    of a woman and the heart of a man?
[11:01] Sac
    Figure something out!
[11:02] Kyu
    Quit calling me a monster.
[11:05] Kyu
    As someone who was raised as a man,
[11:08] Kyu
    I believe your concerns are unnecessary.
[11:11] Kyu
    When I was his age, I was on a warrior errantry,
[11:16] Kyu
    but I filled my stomach myself.
SIGN    Don't waste it, okay?
SIGN    Whoa!
[11:19] Kyu
    A kid he may be, but he's still a man.
[11:22] Kyu
    If you give him some pocket money,
    I'm sure he'll work something out.
SIGN    Thank you very much!
SIGN    Hooray!
[11:27] Hi
    But convenience store lunches would
    give him an unbalanced diet.
[11:32] Kyu
    I didn't say convenience store lunches.
[11:34] Kyu
    If he eats things like that,
    he'll end up with a weak body.
[11:38] Kyu
    A meal fit for a man would be...
SIGN    Temple School
[11:42] I
    Seita-kun!
[11:44] I
    Huh? Where's Seita-kun?
[11:46] B
    Eating with him again? How passionate.
[11:49] B
    Your boyfriend's outside.
[11:53] I
    Oh, Seita-kun...
[12:03] Kyu
    The Barara Gator.
    Rated Capture Level 8.
SIGN    Barara Gator  Rated Capture Level 8
SIGN    Note: Capture Level 1 requires ten samurai armed with real swords to take down.
[12:09] Kyu
    Note: Capture Level 1 requires ten samurai
    armed with real swords to take down.
[12:15] Kyu
    P.S. Mom and Dad have sorted out
    their problems, so don't worry.
SIGN    P.S. Mom and Dad have sorted out 
    their problems, so don't worry.
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[12:37] Tae
    Sure, that sounds more like a man,
[12:40] Tae
    but I think Capture Level 8 was overkill.
[12:45] Tae
    Komatsu Level 1 is probably more like it.
SIGN    Komatsu Level 1
[12:47] Tsu
    That's not the problem here!
[12:49] Tsu
    And what the hell is a Komatsu Level?!
SIGN    P.S. Mom and Dad have sorted out  their problems, so don't worry.
[12:51] Kyu
    Really?
[12:53] Kyu
    I took out the burden
    of his family situation
[12:55] Kyu
    because I thought it might
    be too much for him...
[12:57] Tsu
    That family situation never
    existed to begin with.
[13:01] Tae
    They do say that lions throw their cubs
    off a cliff to make them stronger,
SIGN    Gaaaaah
[13:06] Tae
    but wasn't Seita-kun already thrown into
    an abyss by all those crappy lunches?
[13:13] Tae
    Making a kid who'd climbed back up the cliff
[13:15] Tae
    face a Barara Gator is much too cruel.
SIGN    Yaaaaah
[13:20] Tae
    You just have to cook something up
    and pack a proper lunch for him.
[13:25] Tae
    That's what a mother ought to do.
SIGN    Temple School
[13:31] I
    Seita-kun?
SIGN    Dad's in the fridge, so don't open it no matter what.  P.S. Now the two of us can live happily ever after.
[13:35] Sign
    Dad's in the fridge, so don't
    open it no matter what.
[13:39] Sign
    P.S. Now the two of us can
    live happily ever after.
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[13:44] Tsu
    Wait, that's what you were cooking up?
[13:45] Tsu
    That's what you meant by
    sorting out their problems?!
[13:48] Tae
    Is something wrong with that?
[13:49] Tsu
    Everything is wrong with that!
[13:51] Tsu
    What happened to lunch?!
[13:53] Tae
    We were talking about lunch?
[13:55] Tae
    In that case, just feed him off
    your naked body or something.
[13:58] Sac
    Yeah. Your bodies are the only thing
    you've got going for you, anyway.
[14:01] Kyu
    I'm sorry, but I have no
    time to waste on lunches.
[14:04] Tsu
    You're the ones who had to butt in,
    and now you say this?!
[14:07] Tsu
    You damn rubberneckers!
[14:17] Kag
    It'd be quicker to just
    procure food for yourself.
SIGN    Temple School
[14:22] Sei
    Izumi-chan!
[14:24] Sei
    I'm good to go today!
[14:26] Sei
    I made sandwiches myself!
[14:33] B
    Sorry! Are you okay?
[14:35] ---
    Ow...
SIGN    There's a sandwich in my tummy, so please forgive me.  P.S. I think your egg sandwiches could use more mayonnaise.  -Kagura
[14:38] Kag
    There's a sandwich in my tummy,
    so please forgive me.
[14:43] Kag
    P.S. I think your egg sandwiches
    could use more mayonnaise.
[14:47] Kag
    Kagura.
[14:50] B
    Izumi's not here, Seita.
[14:52] B
    She took the day off today.
[14:54] B
    Maybe she started hating school
    because you cling to her too much.
[15:00] B
    Quit trying to take
    advantage of her kindness.
[15:04] B
    Kunai? A gator?
[15:05] B
    I don't know if you're trying
    to get our attention or what,
[15:08] B
    but if you hurt her, I'll make you pay!
[15:11] B
    Seita, eating lunch alone suits you best.
[15:21] Sei
    I'm home.
[15:23] Hi
    Oh, welcome back.
[15:24] Hi
    Seita, you didn't take the
    lunch I made today, did you?
[15:29] Hi
    Eat that.
[15:33] Hi
    You must be hungry.
[15:34] Hi
    A growing boy shouldn't be
    skipping meals, you know.
[15:38] Hi
    Just you wait.
[15:39] Hi
    Tomorrow, I'll make you
[15:41] Hi
    a lunch you'll want to show off
    to everyone for sure.
[15:52] Sei
    I don't want it.
[15:55] Sei
    The lunches you make
[15:58] Sei
    are too embarrassing to eat.
[16:02] Sei
    You were a courtesan all these years,
    so you can't make a proper lunch, can you?
[16:08] Sei
    You're not a normal mother...
[16:11] Sei
    And you're not even my mother, so you
    can't make a mom's lunch, can you?!
[16:27] Sei
    I went and said
[16:31] Sei
    something horrible...
[16:38] Sei
    The one thing I shouldn't have said.
[16:47] Sei
    I can't go back now.
[16:50] Sei
    I can't go home anymore.
[17:05] I
    Huh?
[17:06] I
    Seita-kun? What are you doing out so late?
[17:10] Sei
    Izumi-chan?
[17:12] Sei
    What about you? You even
    took the day off school.
[17:15] I
    Oh, my dad has a cold,
    so I had to take care of him.
[17:19] Sei
    So that's why...
[17:22] Sei
    Those look heavy.
[17:24] I
    These?
[17:25] I
    I don't have a mother,
[17:28] I
    so I have to make lunches for my family.
[17:33] I
    What about you, Seita-kun?
[17:35] Sei
    Izumi-chan...
[17:39] I
    I see.
[17:41] I
    So that's why you always ate lunch alone.
[17:45] I
    But personally speaking,
    that makes me envious.
[17:48] I
    You're lucky you can fight
    with your mom like that.
[17:52] I
    I'm sure all kids with moms
    have fights like that,
[17:56] I
    without realizing how blessed they are.
[18:00] I
    They only realize what
    they have once it's gone.
[18:06] I
    And then they regret the fact
[18:08] I
    that they'll never again get to eat a lunch
    with so much food, it's all out of shape.
[18:15] I
    Like me, you've lost your mother once.
[18:20] I
    So why haven't you realized it yet?
[18:25] I
    Nah.
[18:26] I
    You already have, haven't you?
[18:28] I
    I mean, you always came back for afternoon
    classes with your stomach so full,
[18:33] I
    you couldn't breathe.
[18:37] I
    Even if you couldn't eat all of it, and
    even if you had to hide from others,
[18:41] I
    you always ate as much as you could.
[18:44] I
    It was because you knew, right?
[18:49] I
    That even though she was awkward at it,
[18:52] I
    your mother tried her best to
    make those lunches for you.
[18:58] I
    That a mom's unshapely lunch
    is the tastiest of all.
[19:08] Sei
    Izumi-chan.
[19:11] I
    You have somewhere to be, right?
[19:13] I
    I'll be fine.
[19:14] I
    My brother will come pick me up.
[19:17] Sei
    Sorry.
[19:22] I
    Seita-kun,
[19:24] I
    see you tomorrow at school.
[19:28] B
    Sheesh.
[19:30] B
    He's pathetic to the core.
[19:33] I
    Bro!
[19:34] B
    Let's go home, Izumi.
[19:37] I
    Did you hear all that?
[19:41] B
    I didn't hear nothing.
[19:46] B
    Let's go.
[19:52] B
    What's for lunch tomorrow?
[19:53] I
    Who knows? You'll have to wait and see.
[19:56] B
    What the heck?
SIGN    Temple School
[20:00] T
    Okay. That's it for morning classes.
[20:03] B
    All right!
[20:04] B
    I was so bored again today.
[20:08] B
    Hey, look at Seita.
[20:10] B
    He's leaving.
[20:12] B
    Can you blame him?
[20:13] B
    How can he make a move on her
    after her brother chewed him out?
[20:16] B
    That's not all. He doesn't even
    have a place here anymore...
[20:25] B
    Whoa!
[20:26] G
    What is that?!
[20:27] I
    Seita-kun!
[20:30] Sei
    Thanks for the food, Mom!
[20:36] B
    What's with that mountain of lunch boxes?
[20:39] B
    Has he lost his mind?!
[20:40] I
    Come on, hurry up.
[20:43] B
    W-Wait, Izumi!
[20:46] I
    Seita-kun!
[20:48] I
    Let's finally eat together today.
[20:50] Sei
    Sure thing.
[20:53] I
    But I'm sorry.
[20:55] I
    I forgot to make lunch today, of all days.
[20:58] I
    Right, Bro?
[20:59] B
    What?
[20:59] B
    Izumi, don't tell me this is what
    you meant by "wait and see"?!
[21:03] B
    You've gotta be kidding me!
    I'm never gonna eat this guy's lun—
[21:08] Sei
    It's not my lunch.
[21:12] Sei
    It's my mom's.
[21:14] Sei
    Isn't it great?
[21:21] B
    Yeah.
[21:26] G
    Seita-kun, can I try some, too?
[21:30] G
    What? Is it that good?
[21:32] B
    Count me in!
[21:33] B
    Let me try some, too!
[21:34] G
    Me, too!
[21:36] B
    Looks great!
[21:37] B
    This is so cute!
[21:39] B
    Whoa, what's this black thing?
[21:41] G
    Where? Let me try some, too!
[21:43] B
    Me three!
SIGN    Before Gintoki appears a
SIGN    Reaper.
[23:28] Asa
    Kill me!
[23:29] Gin
    I'll die! I'll die!
SIGN    Edo is rocked by
[23:32] Shop
    Cut through the neck, leaving just
    one tiny bit of flesh attached.
SIGN    a serial murder case.
SIGN    Who's the murderer?
SIGN    A traitor
SIGN    on the run.
SIGN    Ikeda Asaemon
SIGN    Hung Head
SIGN    Soul Cleansing
SIGN    The Eighteenth
SIGN    Royal Swordskeeper
SIGN    Ikeda Yaemon
SIGN    These incidents
SIGN    will gradually get linked
SIGN    to Gintoki's past.
SIGN    Next week,
SIGN    the Reaper Arc begins!
SIGN    The Reaper by Day
    and the Reaper by Night
SIGN    The meeting of
SIGN    Gintoki and the Reaper
SIGN    takes the story
SIGN    to its turning point.