E277 - 10-1=

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Hij
    Hee, hee, hoo...
[00:03] Hij
    Hee, hee, hoo...
[00:06] Hij
    No good. I'm not budging an inch.
[00:08] Oki
    Tenko, you won't get
    anywhere with that method.
[00:11] Oki
    You gotta strike while the iron's hot!
[00:14] Hij
    Wasn't this your idea—
SIGN    Jyubei's Request: Watch this program in a bright
    room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[02:00] Tae
    A-Amazing.
[02:02] Tae
    You took them all out in the blink of an eye.
[02:05] Tae
    I don't believe it.
[02:06] Tae
    Your efforts have put all the men to shame.
[02:09] Jyu
    Yes.
[02:10] Jyu
    Ayao-dono, Tsukuo-dono.
[02:12] Jyu
    It's all thanks to you.
[02:14] Tsu
    If you want to thank someone,
    thank this guy for inviting the Hyakka
[02:16] Tsu
    to a ninja course.
[02:17] Sar
    Seriously. Who knows what might've
    happened had we not come here.
[02:21] Kag
    This must be a star of fate at work.
[02:24] Kag
    When a hero shines most brightly, his
    radiance attracts other heroes to his side.
[02:29] Kag
    We owe it all to you, Cao Cao.
[02:32] Tae
    We're underground, Kagura-chan.
[02:34] Jyu
    Instead of relying on those
    idiots, we girls should've—
[02:38] Gin
    Wow!
[02:39] Gin
    Way to go, boys!
[02:41] Gin
    We actually would've loved to help out,
[02:43] Gin
    but we had to act feminine, right, Goriko?
[02:47] Kon
    That's right.
[02:48] Kon
    In true feminine style, we figured we
    should stand aside and cheer you on.
[02:53] Kon
    Right, Ginko?
[02:55] Shin
    But really, you've all become so awesome.
[02:58] Shin
    I-I couldn't believe my eyes.
[02:59] Shin
    Especially those two ninjas.
    Aren't their specs too high?
[03:02] Kon
    I prefer the hunk with the ponytail.
[03:05] Tae
    Who are you calling a hunk?
[03:07] Oki
    I prefer the porktail.
[03:09] Oki
    It'd be delicious barbecued.
[03:11] Hij
    Nobody was talking about barbecue.
[03:15] Sac
    It's too late to notice my charms, Ginko-san.
[03:18] Gin
    No, I never said anything of the sort.
[03:20] Sac
    Now that our genders have been swapped,
[03:23] Sac
    I frankly feel no attraction to you at all.
[03:26] Sac
    Why has Sakata Gintoki, of all people,
    been degraded to a useless sow?
[03:30] Sac
    Why have you accepted that appearance?
[03:32] Sac
    Man or woman, you were
    never that kind of person.
[03:36] Sac
    You would look much better
[03:38] Sac
    in this, I'm sure!
[03:40] Sac
    Hurry up and change!
[03:41] Gin
    You pig!
[03:42] Gin
    In the end, you're still as deviant as ever!
[03:44] Sac
    It'd look amazing on you now!
[03:46] Sac
    Please!
[03:47] Sac
    I'll pay you 30,000 extra!
[03:49] Gin
    I'm not a prostitute!
[03:50] Shin
    Hey!
[03:51] Shin
    It might be the same old routine,
[03:52] Shin
    but it looks so much more
    perverse now that she's a man!
[03:54] Kag
    Do you mean 30,000 in reinforcements?!
[03:59] Kag
    Good. Bring out the dosh.
[03:59] Shin
    No, it's not good!
[04:01] Tsu
    Stop that, Sarutobi.
[04:03] Tsu
    No matter how much of a man she may be
    inside and out, she's still a woman.
[04:07] Tsu
    Flowers have no inherent beauty or ugliness.
[04:09] Tsu
    It only exists in the eye of the male
    beholder that cannot admire both equally.
[04:14] Gin
    What's with this guy?
[04:15] Gin
    How'd an innocent girl
    turn into such a playboy?
[04:19] Tsu
    No need to worry, Ginko.
[04:21] Tsu
    Protecting women is the Hyakka's job.
[04:24] Tsu
    Relax and leave yourself in my care.
[04:27] Tsu
    I know of a job where you earn a lot more
    just by having a bath with customers.
[04:32] Gin
    I'm telling you, I'm not a prostitute!
[04:34] Shin
    He's like some evil pimp!
    A scary scout from the city!
[04:38] Kag
    Do you mean a spland?
[04:41] Kag**
    Good. Bring out the dosh.
[04:42] Shin
    I told you, it's not good at all!
[04:44] Kon
    What? Pork?
[04:47] Kon
    Bring out the Tosh.
[04:48] Hij
    Shut it, morons!
[04:51] Tae
    It looks like your new genders
    suit you much better.
[04:55] Tae
    Maybe things would be better this way.
[04:58] Gin
    Don't say that! It's terrifying!
[05:00] Tae
    Well, do you really think you could
[05:03] Tae
    outdo these high-spec men
    if you went back to normal?
[05:06] Tae
    Are you saying that even
    though you were useless,
[05:07] Tae
    you'll shamelessly go back to
    living life as deadbeat men
[05:11] Tae
    thanks to their efforts?
[05:13] Tae
    If that's the case,
[05:14] Tae
    it'd be better if you stayed as women
    and let Tsukuo-san take care of you.
[05:17] Tae
    By working in Yoshiwara, you'd contribute
    much more to society than as men.
[05:22] Tsu
    Leave it to me.
[05:23] Hij
    What the hell do you people think women are?!
[05:26] Kon
    Yeah! Are our bodies all you're after?!
[05:28] Hij
    Who contributes what doesn't mean jack!
[05:31] Hij
    What matters is that we get our
    bodies back, no matter what!
[05:35] Hij
    Found anything yet?!
[05:36] Hij
    There's gotta be a vaccine or something
    to turn our bodies back to normal!
[05:40] Ymz
    Sorry, Vice Chief. There doesn't
    seem to be anything like that here.
[05:43] Jyu
    That's not all.
[05:45] Jyu
    I don't see the archbishop anywhere.
[05:50] Gin
    What's that supposed to mean?
[05:52] Gin
    Don't tell me this wasn't their base—
[05:55] AB
    No. That is definitely our
    Earth Dekobokkoist base.
[06:01] Jyu
    Y-You're—
[06:03] AB
    However, attacking the base will not
    necessarily solve all your problems.
[06:07] AB
    Unfortunately for you, what you're looking
    for has long since left that planet.
[06:14] AB
    That said, we did observe everything
    you people have been doing
[06:18] AB
    through your sword, Kyubei-san.
[06:22] Jyu
    My sword?
[06:25] Jyu
    A bug?
[06:26] Jyu
    No way!
[06:31] AB
    I told you that God is always
    watching you, didn't I?
[06:34] Jyu
    Damn you!
[06:38] Jyu
    What are you after?!
[06:40] AB
    God has chosen you.
[06:43] AB
    Like us, you are neither man nor woman...
[06:47] AB
    An unsullied being worthy
    of being God's apostle.
[06:50] AB
    Yagyu Kyubei,
[06:52] AB
    God has been watching you,
    and he wishes to entrust you
[06:56] AB
    with this planet's fate.
[06:57] AB
    During this trial, he has seen some of you
    being manlier than anyone else,
[07:02] AB
    and others being nothing more
    than useless bitches.
[07:05] AB
    Kyubei-san, you have splendidly upheld
    the teachings of Lord Dekobokko
[07:10] AB
    and overcome his trial.
[07:13] AB
    In light of your devotion, we...
[07:17] AB
    No, God shall keep his promise.
[07:20] Jyu
    What are you trying to pull?!
[07:22] AB
    Yagyu Kyubei,
[07:23] AB
    you are most suited to being
    Lord Dekobokko's apostle.
[07:27] AB
    From now on, you must
    guide the people of Earth
[07:30] AB
    and correct this planet's erratic gender roles!
[07:36] C
    Target is showing a
    high energy response!
[07:38] C
    No way!
[07:39] C
    Are they gonna fire the virus cannon again?!
[07:41] C
    Shoot it down!
[07:42] C
    Stop the satellite before it fires the virus!
[07:58] AB
    Yes.
[07:59] AB
    With that gender you attained for yourself.
[08:07] C
    Hey, look at this!
[08:08] C
    My body's back!
[08:10] C
    It's true!
[08:11] C
    We're back to normal!
[08:14] Jyu
    The town has gone back to normal...
[08:19] Gin
    ...except for those of us
    who were underground.
[08:27] Gin
    What the hell is this? Are you kidding me?!
[08:30] Hij
    Why are we still like this when we're
    the ones who overcame the trial?!
[08:33] Gin
    I show Lord Dekobokko a little respect,
    and he lets it go to his head!
[08:36] Gin
    Want me to kill you, bastard?!
[08:38] Hij
    Just kidding! She didn't mean that!
[08:40] Hij
    Fire the virus one more time!
[08:41] Hij
    Please! Just one more shot!
[08:44] PA
    Attention, everyone in the Kabuki District.
[08:47] PA
    The attack satellite which
    was aimed at Earth
[08:51] PA
    has been safely destroyed.
[08:53] PA
    Martial law will now be lifted.
[08:57] ---
    I repeat:
[08:59] Kyu
    Despite sensing everyone
    freezing up behind me,
[09:04] Kyu
    I found myself unable to turn around.
[09:08] Kyu
    My heart was wavering even as
    I was fighting alongside them.
[09:12] Kyu
    "Should I really go back to normal?"
[09:14] Kyu
    "Wouldn't I be happier living as a man?"
[09:18] Kyu
    Almost like those selfish feelings
    of mine were apparent...
[09:23] (Flashback) AD
    If you truly desire it,
[09:25] (Flashback) AD
    I can change this world for you.
[09:29] Jyu
    ...the archbishop left behind the world
    that was most convenient for me.
[09:42] G
    P-Point and match!
[09:44] Jyu
    That was too tame.
[09:46] Jyu
    How can you call yourself a Yagyu-style,
[09:48] Jyu
    no, a man?!
[09:49] Jyu
    Come at me all at once! Try taking
    a point off of Yagyu Jyubei!
[09:57] Kos
    That coldhearted swordsmanship...
[09:59] Kos
    Kyubei seems like an
    entirely different person.
[10:02] Tou
    Uh, Koshinori-sama, the young master
    really has become a different person.
[10:07] Bim
    That speed...
[10:08] Bim
    It's like she's swinging two swords.
[10:11] Tou
    Uh, Binbokusai-sama, there really is an
    extra sword swinging from her crotch now.
[10:16] Kos
    I don't really understand,
    but it looks like Kyubei's
[10:19] Kos
    grasped the secrets of the
    Yagyu style at long last, Papa.
[10:22] Bin
    Indeed. The Yagyu style's
    future is secure now.
[10:26] Tou
    Uh, there'll never be any security
    as long as the two of you are around.
[10:33] Jyu
    The wheels of the world continued to turn
    as though nothing had ever happened.
[10:42] G
    Get a load of that hunk!
[10:44] Jyu
    Actually, they were turning
    much smoother than before.
[10:50] G
    Hey, mister.
[10:52] G
    Would you like to hang out with us?
[10:55] Jyu
    S-Sorry. I have plans.
[10:58] Tae
    Jyubei-san!
[11:00] Tae
    Sorry I'm late.
[11:02] Tae
    Did you wait long?
[11:03] Jyu
    Nah, I just got here.
[11:06] Tae
    Oh, that's a relief.
[11:07] G
    Aw, he has a girlfriend?
[11:09] G
    A couple with a hot guy and
    hot girl is just unfair.
[11:13] Jyu
    Sorry! They misunderstood because of me.
[11:16] Tae
    No, it's fine.
[11:18] Jyu
    Yeah, much smoother than when I was a woman.
[11:23] Jyu
    Shinpachi-kun went to train with another dojo?
[11:25] Tae
    Yeah.
[11:26] Tae
    He said it was high time he got serious
    about trying to revive our own dojo,
[11:31] Tae
    so he wanted to build up
    some strength before that.
[11:34] Jyu
    Oh, Shinpachi-kun said that?
[11:37] Tae
    Indeed.
[11:38] Tae
    Before, his attention was divided
    among Odd Jobs and the dojo,
[11:41] Tae
    but now he's focusing on being an instructor,
[11:44] Tae
    and he really looks the part while teaching.
[11:47] Tae
    I'm sure he wanted to be part of
    the Odd Jobs trio for longer,
[11:51] Tae
    but after what happened to Ginko-san,
    Kagura-chan and Sekitobaharu left, too.
[11:56] (Flashback) Kag
    I serve only Cao Cao.
[11:59] (Flashback) Kag
    If we are fated to meet again, then we shall.
[12:02] (Flashback) Kag
    Fare thee well!
[12:05] Jyu
    I see. Ginko-san hasn't returned yet?
[12:09] Jyu
    So Odd Jobs has disappeared from Edo.
[12:12] Tae
    Sheesh. Where in the
    world has she run off to?
[12:16] Tae
    Who goes on a soul-searching
    trip at that age?
[12:20] Kon
    Sorry to keep you waiting, Otae.
[12:24] Tae
    Goriko!
[12:25] Kon
    Sorry, work was so hectic,
    I had some trouble getting away.
[12:30] Tae
    Was it okay to leave?
[12:31] Kon
    Yeah, don't worry about it.
[12:34] Kon
    Even the police need to take
    breaks every now and then.
[12:37] Tae
    I see.
[12:38] Tae
    I'm glad to hear work's going well, Goriko.
[12:40] Kon
    Look who's talking.
[12:42] Kon
    You've got it much better.
[12:44] Kon
    Though, I never expected us to
    be suited to that line of work.
[12:50] (Flashback) Hij
    Hey, guys!
[12:51] (Flashback) Hij
    You'd better stop by or you'll
    be placed under arrest.
[12:54] (Flashback) G
    You're the ones who need to be arrested!
[12:56] (Flashback) G
    Miniskirt police, my foot.
    You're miniskirt pork, if anything.
[13:00] (Flashback) Hij
    Want me to show you how
    a real cop does things?
[13:03] (Flashback) Hij
    I could destroy the reputation of scum
    like you without breaking a sweat!
[13:08] (Flashback) G
    Why is that the only part of
    the act that seems convincing?
[13:10] (Flashback) G
    Calm down, Tenko!
[13:12] (Flashback) G
    You've got a customer!
[13:16] (Flashback) Zen
    Looks like we've got a bunch
    of hard-hitting girls here.
[13:19] (Flashback) Zen
    Not that I mind.
[13:20] (Flashback) Zen
    Tenko-chan's right up my alley.
[13:24] Kon
    Well, it's kinda turned into a fuglies club,
[13:28] Kon
    but Tenko's doing great, and she's
    got a bunch of regular customers.
[13:31] Kon
    What's more...
[13:32] (Flashback) G
    Oh, it's a courtesan parade!
[13:34] (Flashback) G
    W-Wait...
[13:35] (Flashback) G
    That's Lady Soko from Club Sadist!
[13:38] G
    Soko split off from us and teamed
    up with the deviant advisor.
[13:42] (Flashback) Sac
    What are you doing, Soko?
[13:44] (Flashback) Sac
    Stomp on me harder!
[13:45] (Flashback) Oki
    Shut up, maggot.
[13:48] Kon
    She's now the number one courtesan
    in the Kabuki District.
[13:51] Kon
    Yoshiwara's Hinowa-san praised her,
    saying nobody else could earn so much
[13:55] Kon
    without letting anyone even touch their hand.
[13:58] (Flashback) Tsu
    I was right.
[14:01] (Flashback) Tsu
    Hinowa,
[14:02] (Flashback) Tsu
    there may soon be a courtesan in
    the Kabuki District who surpasses you.
[14:06] (Flashback) Hin
    As the first step of our expansion
    into the Kabuki District,
[14:09] (Flashback) Hin
    it's been a great success.
[14:10] (Flashback) Tsu
    It's not just here.
[14:12] (Flashback) Tsu
    The moon will rise every night
    over every neighborhood in Edo.
[14:17] (Flashback) Tsu
    I, Tsukuo, the new Lord of the Night,
[14:19] (Flashback) Tsu
    shall illuminate nights everywhere
    with radiance like none other.
[14:23] Kon
    It may not be long before the Lord of
    the Night takes control of Edo's nightlife.
[14:29] Jyu
    I see.
[14:30] Jyu
    All said and done, everyone's
    doing all right for themselves.
[14:34] Jyu
    It's all my fault things ended up this way,
[14:37] Jyu
    so I was worried.
[14:38] Kon
    Listen to yourself.
[14:40] Kon
    You're a victim yourself, Jyubei.
[14:43] Kon
    Besides, I personally think
    it was a great opportunity.
[14:49] Kon
    I'd been living my life without caring
    about masculinity or femininity,
[14:55] Kon
    but when I took a long, hard look at
    myself from a gender-swapped perspective,
[14:58] Kon
    I found, uh, a new side of me?
[15:00] Kon
    New possibilities?
[15:02] Kon
    Something of the sort.
[15:05] Kon
    Like, the side of me that's happy
    about being with Otae as a friend,
[15:11] Kon
    and not a stalker or a lover.
[15:14] Kon
    Stuff like that.
[15:15] Tae
    Goriko...
[15:17] Tae
    Jeez, don't say such embarrassing things!
[15:20] Kon
    Guess you're still making me
    your punching bag, though.
[15:24] Kon
    At any rate,
[15:25] Kon
    it doesn't matter whether we're men or women.
[15:30] Kon
    We're just gonna live
    as we please either way.
[15:32] Kon
    So you guys should stop worrying about us,
[15:37] Kon
    and do as you please, too.
[15:39] Tae
    Goriko, what are these?
SIGN    Between Man and Woman
[15:40] Kon
    Tickets to the latest hit movie.
[15:43] Kon
    They weren't easy to get my hands on.
[15:45] Kon
    What else could I do?
[15:47] Kon
    Now that I've ended up like this,
[15:49] Kon
    you're the only one left
    who can make Otae happy.
[15:55] Kon
    But let me just make this crystal clear:
[15:58] Kon
    if you make Otae, my friend, cry,
[16:04] Kon
    I'll arrest you.
SIGN    Between Man and Woman
[16:11] Jyu
    This was the world I wished for.
[16:15] Jyu
    Everything was just as I'd wanted it,
[16:21] Jyu
    and yet I knew that this gloominess
    was not caused by the weather alone.
[16:29] Jyu
    I knew that the ticket I got wasn't
    wet because of the rain alone.
[16:34] FT
    Hey, samurai.
[16:37] FT
    Would you like your fortune told?
[16:40] Jyu
    Sorry, but I'm done with fortunes.
[16:43] Jyu
    Try someone else.
[16:45] FT
    You have decided whether to live
    as a man or as a woman, I take it?
[16:52] FT
    So why the long face?
[16:55] FT
    You don't look like someone
    about to go on a date.
[16:57] Jyu
    I don't know who you are,
[17:00] Jyu
    but I'm neither a man nor a woman.
[17:04] Jyu
    I sowed the seeds of calamity
[17:06] Jyu
    and got everyone caught up in it.
[17:09] Jyu
    Yet I had accepted that I was
    simply pretending to give up
[17:12] Jyu
    for the sake of my own desires.
[17:14] Jyu
    Still, everyone's looking out for me,
    totally unaware of my true colors.
[17:20] Jyu
    Don't make her cry?
[17:22] Jyu
    Weren't you the one crying?
[17:26] Jyu
    I'm neither manly nor womanly,
[17:30] Jyu
    just cowardly scum.
[17:34] Jyu
    That was the answer I got
    after racking my brain,
[17:38] Jyu
    so there's no need to
    tell my fortune anymore.
[17:42] FT
    You may not necessarily get
    the same answer this time.
[17:45] FT
    This may lead you down a
    path of even more anguish,
[17:51] FT
    but I have another ticket right here.
SIGN    Space Travel Ticket Earth => XAMA
[17:54] FT
    Unfortunately, it's not something
    you can use on a date.
[17:57] FT
    It's a ticket to the planet the
    Dekobokkoists will target next.
[18:03] FT
    Yagyu Jyubei-san, let me ask you once again.
[18:06] FT
    Will you choose that ticket
    and live on as a man?
[18:10] FT
    Or will you choose this one and
    go back to being a woman?
[18:13] Jyu
    Wh-What are you—
[18:15] Gin
    No matter what you choose,
[18:17] Gin
    I'm sure you will continue to waver.
[18:20] Gin
    But what's wrong with that?
[18:23] Gin
    Manly? Womanly?
[18:25] Gin
    Are those random values that others made up
[18:28] Gin
    really what you were striving toward?
[18:31] Gin
    If things were so clear cut,
[18:32] Gin
    then neither men, women,
[18:34] Gin
    you,
[18:37] Gin
    or me
[18:38] Gin
    would be leading such painful lives.
[18:41] Gin
    We're all in the same boat, Jyubei.
[18:43] Gin
    You're not the only one who's lost.
[18:46] Gin
    I don't get all the complicated stuff,
[18:49] Gin
    but I do know it's not like
    us to take this lying down.
[19:07] C
    Wh-What was that light?
[19:11] C
    What is this?!
[19:12] C
    Men have turned into women and vice versa!
[19:20] AB
    Chrislings...
[19:21] AB
    The race that throws gender roles into chaos.
[19:23] AB
    May you bear the brunt of that sin!
[19:26] D
    Uh, Archbishop,
[19:27] D
    all the men and women on
    this planet are Chris,
[19:29] D
    so in the end they're
    still Chris Matsumura...
[19:31] AB
    The satellite might have
    been destroyed on Earth,
[19:34] AB
    but we won't stop.
[19:36] AB
    With this new weapon, we shall
    propagate Lord Dekobokko's
[19:38] AB
    teachings to the ends of the universe.
[19:41] AB
    Quickly, take control of the
    city while they panic.
[19:47] AB
    What's going on?
[19:48] AB
    Archbishop, a few of the
    residents are fighting back!
[19:51] AB
    Ridiculous.
[19:53] AB
    In the midst of the gender swapping chaos,
[19:55] AB
    I refuse to believe someone could
[19:57] AB
    calmly analyze the situation and
    strike back at us in an instant.
[20:01] Kyu
    You'd better believe it.
[20:04] Kyu
    Because it doesn't matter to them
    whether they're men or women.
[20:09] Kyu
    They don't care about living in
    a masculine or feminine manner,
[20:15] Kyu
    only in a manner that's true to themselves.
[20:19] AB
    Y-You're...
[20:25] Kyu
    Tae-chan,
[20:31] Kyu
    I'm sorry.
[20:34] Kyu
    I'm no Jyubei.
[20:37] Kyu
    Neither a woman nor a man, I am...
[20:44] Kyu
    I am...
[20:47] Kyu
    Ten minus one is...
[20:50] Kyu
    Yagyu Kyubei!
[21:08] G
    Miss.
[21:09] G
    You seem to be coming here every day.
[21:11] G
    Are you waiting for someone?
[21:16] G
    Oh, no.
[21:17] G
    I was simply taking shelter from the rain.
[21:19] G
    But I'm glad.
[21:21] G
    It seems the rain has let up.
[21:25] G
    Um, I'd like to make an advanced booking.
SIGN    Between Man and Woman
[21:28] Tae
    Not for a romantic movie like that...
[21:59] Tae
    ...but one you can have a
    good laugh at with friends!
SIGN    Preview
[23:35] Hin
    Have you gotten used to temple school, Seita?
[23:38] Hin
    Remember to take your lunch today, too.
SIGN    All Mothers Pack Too Much Food Into 
    a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape
[23:41] Sei
    Next Episode: "All Mothers Pack Too Much
    Food Into a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape."
[23:45] Hin
    You're gonna be late.
SIGN    Preview
[23:47] Sign
    Off you go!
SIGN    Following Tsukuyo and  Gintoki's history lessons,
SIGN    Seita begins to attend a temple school.
SIGN    And will we have a new OP and ED next episode? (Still working on it.)
SIGN    Will he be able to make  a hundred friends?