E269 - Forget Dates, Remember People / You Can Hide Your Porn Mags But You Can't Hide Your ***

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[01:31] Tsu
    Year 710?
[01:32] Sei
    710 was...
[01:34] Sei
    Uh...
[01:36] Sei
    Oh! "Seventh heaven in tender Heian-kyo"!
[01:38] Tsu
    Wrong!
[01:39] Tsu
    710 is Heijo-kyo.
[01:42] Tsu
    Heian-kyo is "Sings the
    nightingale for Heian-kyo,"
SIGN    Japanese  History
[01:45] Tsu
    so year 794.
[01:48] Sei
    That's too complicated! What's with
    this Heijo-kyo and Heian-kyo crap?!
[01:51] Sei
    It's clearly a trap!
[01:54] Tsu
    That's what you get for only
    memorizing what's on the surface.
[01:57] Tsu
    You need to start learning the details.
[01:59] Tsu
    Heijo-kyo came to prominence
    during Empress Genmei's reign.
[02:01] Tsu
    In the third year of the Wado era, she moved
    the capital from Fujiwara-kyo to Heijo-kyo,
[02:04] Tsu
    where it remained until the
    third year of the Enryaku era,
[02:06] Tsu
    when Emperor Kammu moved it to Nagaoka-kyo—
[02:09] Sei
    That's even more complicated!
[02:10] Sei
    What's the point of memorizing these dates?
[02:13] Sei
    It won't help one bit when I become
    a working member of society, anyway.
[02:16] Tsu
    I daresay a guy that lazy would never
    get anywhere in the real world.
[02:19] Tsu
    Think of it as self-training and start again.
[02:22] Sei
    I'd rather do some actual training, then.
[02:23] Sei
    I wanna be strong, like you!
[02:26] Tsu
    Is that so? Then let's go with this...
[02:30] Tsu
    I'll now throw a bunch of
    these cards and knives at you.
[02:33] Tsu
    Before I throw, I'll name a historical event.
[02:35] Tsu
    You'll collect the cards that make up
    the number of the year it took place,
[02:38] Tsu
    while blindfolded and avoiding
    the knives by instinct alone.
[02:40] Sei
    You're just making things more difficult!
[02:43] Sei
    How am I supposed to sense the
    numbers by instinct alone?!
[02:46] Tsu
    Here I come!
[02:46] Sei
    Wait a sec—
[02:47] Tsu
    The Battle of Sekigahara!
SIGN    Forget Dates, Remember People
[02:57] Gin
    This is weird.
[02:59] Gin
    Wasn't he studying history?
[03:01] Gin
    What, did the teacher abandon class halfway
    through and go, "Let's play dodgeball today"?
[03:06] Tsu
    D-Dates alone are not enough
    to learn about history.
[03:09] Tsu
    I thought I should teach him how
    Ieyasu actually fought at Sekigahara.
[03:13] Gin
    Uh, hasn't Ieyasu been crushed here?
    History's taken a whole new turn.
[03:18] Gin
    Well, did it work?
[03:19] Gin
    Which year did the Battle
    of Sekigahara take place?
[03:22] Sei
    S-Sixteen hundred knives...
[03:24] Gin
    He's memorized it in some weird way!
[03:26] Gin
    Forget the date, he's just had
    trauma etched into his memory!
[03:28] Tsu
    C-Can you blame me?!
[03:30] Tsu
    He just wouldn't listen to me!
[03:32] Hin
    It's all right, Tsukuyo.
[03:34] Hin
    You're great at teaching
    the Hyakka new techniques,
[03:38] Hin
    so I thought you'd make a
    great tutor as well, but...
[03:41] Gin
    Your personnel selection
    method is way too sloppy.
[03:44] Sei
    Save me, Gin-san!
[03:45] Sei
    I don't wanna study history anymore!
[03:48] Gin
    Let go.
[03:49] Sei
    I wanna take classes in health and PE!
[03:51] Gin
    Everyone's automatically capable
    of perfect scores in those
[03:54] Gin
    the moment they hit puberty!
[03:55] Tsu
    Very well.
[03:57] Tsu
    Let's do it right this time.
[03:58] Tsu
    I'll now throw this wooden kokeshi doll and
    a bunch of knives at you, and you must—
[04:01] Gin
    Why are you trying to teach
    a kid how to fight wood?!
[04:05] Sei
    I'm sick of studying like that!
[04:08] Sei
    Actually, I've had it with Tsukuyo-nee!
[04:11] Sei
    I know! You teach me, Gin-san!
[04:13] Sei
    You went to a temple school, so you must
    know proper studying methods, right?
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[04:21] Gin
    You little...
[04:22] Gin
    Why'd you drag me into your mess?
[04:24] Sei
    Come on, you're getting paid,
[04:26] Sei
    so let's just call it a little give-and-take.
[04:31] W
    How's the studying going?
[04:33] W
    Why don't you take a break?
[04:35] Sei
    I'm sure there'll be slices of
    cake in it for you, too.
[04:38] Gin
    Look, I'm sorry,
[04:41] Gin
    but if there's money involved,
    I can't half-ass things.
[04:44] Sei
    Aw, you're no fun.
[04:46] Gin
    A man's gotta do what a man's gotta
    do, and he's gotta do it right.
[04:49] Gin
    All right. Open up volume ten of Hana no Keiji.
[04:53] Tsu
    How's the studying going?
[04:56] Tsu
    Why don't you take a break
[04:59] Tsu
    forever?
[05:00] Gin
    Oh, n-no need for that.
    We were just about to begin.
[05:05] Gin
    What's the meaning of this?
[05:06] Gin
    What happened to slices of cake?
[05:07] Gin
    My head got sliced by a knife instead!
[05:09] Gin
    It's your fault for putting her
    in a bad mood with your whining!
[05:11] Tsu
    We're really counting on you,
[05:14] Tsu
    Korosensei.
[05:15] Gin
    She's calling me something weird now!
[05:17] Gin
    She seems ready to assassinate
    me at any moment!
[05:20] Tsu
    I'm sure you've reached the
    Sengoku era by now, right?
[05:23] Gin
    W-We have!
[05:24] Gin
    The curtain was just raised
    on the warring states era!
[05:27] Sei
    Are you sure we should be
    jumping to the Sengoku era?
[05:29] Sei
    I don't have a handle on
    the eras before that at all.
[05:32] Gin
    Men can get by with knowledge
    of the Sengoku era alone!
[05:36] Gin
    Before that, it was just mostly-gorillas
    running around with spears in hand.
[05:40] Sei
    They're way too fuzzy!
[05:41] Sei
    What about the transition
    from Heijo-kyo to Heian-kyo?
[05:44] Gin
    That was merely a move from
    one cave to the one next door.
[05:47] Sei
    What?
[05:47] Sei
    "Sings the nightingale for you in Heian-kyo"?
SIGN    7 Sings the 
    9 Nightingale 
    4 For you in Heian-kyo
    
    794 - Relocation to Heian-kyo
[05:50] Gin
    No!
SIGN    We've saved up 7.94 million, 
    so why don't we move, honey? 
    
    794 - Relocation to Heian-kyo
[05:51] Gin
    "We've saved up 7.94 million, so why
    don't we move, honey? To Heian-kyo."
[05:55] Sei
    What kinda mnemonic is that?!
[05:56] Sei
    Then what about the Kamakura shogunate?
[05:58] Gin
    A move to the Kamakura 
    snow hut next door to that.
[06:00] Sei
    They didn't evolve one bit in 400 years!
[06:04] Gin
    As if mere humans could
    ever evolve that easily.
[06:07] Gin
    Don't forget that they were mostly-gorillas.
[06:09] Gin
    After that, a bunch of stuff happened...
[06:13] Gin
    In 1467, the beginning of the Onin War
    marked the beginning of the Sengoku era.
[06:18] Sei
    That's way too drastic an evolution!
[06:20] Sei
    A bunch of stuff? What exactly happened?!
[06:23] Gin
    If I recall correctly, they got their
    hands on some overpowered technology,
[06:28] Gin
    but being gorillas, they started
    fighting over bananas or something,
[06:33] Gin
    leading to one of those "end
    of civilization" scenarios.
[06:35] Sei
    What?
SIGN    1 Our 
    4 Forlorn
     6 Sad 
    7 Society 
    
    1467 - Onin War
[06:36] Sei
    "Our forlorn, sad society: Onin War"?
[06:38] Gin
    Wrong!
SIGN    1 One night 
    4 For all 
    6 Signs of civilization to
    7 Shatter, eh, honey? 
    
    1467 - Onin War
[06:40] Gin
    "One night for all signs of civilization to shatter, eh, honey? Onin War."
[06:42] Sei
    Why keep asking her for confirmation?!
[06:46] Sei
    Still, I had no idea something
    like that happened to our planet.
[06:51] Gin
    Well, you need to at least study
    up on your own country's history.
[06:54] Gin
    Right, honey—
[06:56] Tsu
    Which country's history is that, Korosensei?
[07:00] Tsu
    Don't twist history any more.
[07:02] Tsu
    What do you think you're teaching him?
[07:04] Gin
    Calm down.
[07:05] Gin
    Rather than learning details,
[07:07] Gin
    what's important is to make him
    develop an interest in history first.
[07:10] Sei
    Korosensei,
[07:11] Sei
    what happened to this country after that?
[07:14] Gin
    See what I mean?
[07:16] Gin
    Okay, let's keep going.
[07:18] Gin
    Anyway, the Ragnarok I mentioned
    earlier reduced Japan to nothing.
[07:22] Sei
    What's Ragnarok, now?
[07:24] Gin
    It's another name for the Onin War, dumbass.
[07:27] Gin
    So, once the country lost its rulers,
[07:30] Gin
    Sengoku generals popped
    up all over the place,
[07:32] Gin
    and waged bloody battle for
    the right to make it their own.
[07:35] Sei
    So that's the warring states
    era I've heard so much about.
[07:38] Gin
    That's right.
[07:41] Tsu
    It's still somewhat off, but at least
    they've managed to get back on track.
[07:45] Sei
    I'm not great with dates,
[07:47] Sei
    but I do know about the Sengoku generals.
[07:48] Sei
    Oda Nobunaga and Tokugawa Ieyasu, right?
[07:51] Sei
    Who else was there?
[07:54] Gin
    The men considered the strongest in the era
[07:55] Gin
    were Takeda Shingen and
    his rival Uesugi Kenshin.
[07:59] Sei
    Who else?
[07:59] Gin
    Who else?
[08:01] Gin
    Akechi Mitsuhide,
[08:03] Gin
    and Ishida Mitsunari...
[08:04] Sei
    Who else?
[08:05] Gin
    Wh-Who else...
[08:07] Sei
    Hey, who else?
[08:10] Gin
    And then there were mostly gorillas.
[08:12] Tsu
    The gorillas were still alive?!
[08:15] Sei
    Wait a sec.
[08:16] Sei
    Weren't the gorillas wiped out
    during the Onin War?
[08:21] Tsu
    Seita, you've got it wrong.
[08:22] Tsu
    There was a Sengoku general named
    Toyotomi Hideyoshi, you see.
[08:26] Tsu
    Due to his appearance, Nobunaga
    teased him by calling him "Gorilla."
[08:30] Tsu
    Gintoki, that's what you
    were talking about, right?
[08:32] Gin
    Precisely.
[08:34] Sei
    But I thought Hideyoshi
    had the nickname "Monkey."
[08:37] Gin
    Monkeys, gorillas, and Hideyoshi
    are pretty much the same, anyway.
[08:39] Gin
    They all have crazy grip strength.
[08:40] Gin
    That's how Basara seized the nation!
[08:43] Gin
    The sword hunt he ordered
    to suppress the farmers
[08:45] Gin
    was actually a banana hunt, you know?
[08:47] Sei
    What?
[08:48] Sei
    It's not "our lands free of every
    enemy's sword: sword hunt"?
SIGN    1 Our lands 
    5 Free of 
    8 Every 
    8 Enemy's sword
    
    1588 - Sword Hunt
[08:51] Gin
    Nope.
SIGN    1 One 
    5 Fine banana's 
    8 Extra 
    8 Enormous, right, goriest honey?
    
    1588 - Banana Hunt
[08:52] Gin
    It's "One fine banana's extra enormous,
    right, goriest honey? Banana hunt."
[08:55] Tsu
    That's just a gorilla through and through!
[08:57] Sei
    So Hideyoshi was a survivor
    of an extinct ancient species?
[09:01] Sei
    That's why Nobunaga valued him so highly!
[09:03] Tsu
    What are you gonna do?
[09:04] Tsu
    History's going off-track again!
[09:06] Gin
    That's not it.
[09:08] Gin
    Hideyoshi was actually known as a swindler
[09:10] Gin
    because he was was such a master
    at stealing people's hearts.
[09:13] Gin
    There's a story that goes...
[09:15] Gin
    One cold winter, Nobunaga put on his sandals,
[09:17] Gin
    only to find them warm for some reason.
[09:20] Gin
    He figured Hideyoshi must've been
    wasting time on his backside,
[09:23] Gin
    so he went to scold him.
[09:25] Gin
    But here's what Hideyoshi said:
[09:27] Gin
    "Forgive me, my lord.
[09:29] Gin
    I thought it wouldn't do for your feet
    to grow cold on this winter night,
[09:34] Gin
    so I used the ancient weapon, Excalibur Omega,
[09:37] Gin
    to heat up your sandals."
[09:38] Tsu
    What kind of story is that?!
[09:40] Sei
    What the hell is Excalibur Omega?
[09:42] Sei
    Don't tell me, the weapon that destroyed
    the world was still around?!
[09:46] Gin
    The import of guns in 1543 was simply
    a fake-out to conceal the truth.
[09:51] Sei
    You're saying it wasn't "Our firearms will be
    funded by our treasury from now on: guns"?!
SIGN    1 Our 
    5 Firearms will be 
    4 Funded by our 
    3 Treasury from now on
    
    1543 - Import of Guns
[09:54] Gin
    That's right!
[09:55] Gin
    It was "One more female for the harem:
    from now on, you are my new honey"!
SIGN    1 One more 
    5 Female 
    4 For 
    3 The Harem
    
    From now on, 
    you are my new honey
[09:59] Tsu
    What happened to the Excalibur Omega?!
[10:01] Tsu
    Forget it!
[10:02] Tsu
    If things go any more off-track,
    we'll never be able to recover!
[10:06] Tsu
    Well, let's leave the Excalibur
    Omega on the sandals for now.
[10:09] Tsu
    Nobunaga had another trusted
    aide aside from Hideyoshi.
[10:13] Tsu
    That was Akechi Mitsuhide.
[10:15] Tsu
    He was a man with talents
    that surpassed Hideyoshi,
[10:18] Tsu
    but that caused a rift
    between him and Nobunaga
[10:21] Tsu
    that would eventually tear
    the two heroes apart.
[10:24] Tsu
    It led to the "15th Evening
    Treason, the Honno-ji Incident."
SIGN    1
    5th 
    8 Evening 
    2 Treason
    
    1582 - Honno-ji Incident
[10:28] Tsu
    Mitsuhide turned on his lord,
    Nobunaga, and burned him to death.
[10:34] Sei
    Oh?
[10:35] Sei
    Well, I've heard of that, so I don't really—
[10:38] Tsu
    But that's just a fake-out.
[10:39] Tsu
    In truth, it was just an explosion and fire
[10:41] Tsu
    caused by Mitsuhide when he
    tried to rip off Hideyoshi's idea
[10:44] Tsu
    and microwave Nobunaga's
    sandals to warm them up.
[10:47] Sei
    What?! That's what the Honno-ji Incident was?
[10:50] Sei
    Wait, was that microwave also Excalibur...
[10:53] Tsu
    ...Sigma, yes.
[10:55] Gin
    You're jumping to this side, too?!
[10:58] Tsu
    It was the year 1582.
[10:59] Tsu
    The mnemonic is "One fire engulfed
    those strawberry panties, honey."
SIGN    1 One 
    5 Fire 
    8 Engulfed 
    2 Those strawberry 
    panties, honey
[11:03] Gin
    Wait, Excalibur Sigma's
    just "honey" from earlier?!
[11:06] Gin
    If even you come to this side, how are
    we gonna return history to normal?!
[11:09] Sei
    So, what happened to Mitsuhide?
[11:12] Sei
    Hey, what happened?
[11:15] Hin
    Shouldn't that be obvious?
[11:22] Hin
    Only the Omega could stop the Sigma.
[11:25] Hin
    When Hideyoshi stood before Mitsuhide,
[11:29] Hin
    Omega and Sigma were fired,
    destroying the world.
[11:34] Hin
    But while it was the end of everything,
[11:37] Hin
    it also marked the beginning of it all.
[11:40] Hin
    That's how the world we live in came to be.
[11:44] Hin
    This is where our history truly begins.
[11:47] Hin
    So, Gin-san, Tsukuyo,
[11:50] Hin
    why don't you take it from
    the top, one more time?
SIGN    Hinoya Tea House
[11:56] Gin
    Hey, lend me volume ten of Hana no Keiji.
[11:59] Tsu
    From Me to Thou for me, then.
[12:09] Shin
    What do I do?
[12:11] Shin
    Who knows what'll happen
    if Sis ever finds these?
[12:14] Shin
    I really shouldn't have done this,
[12:16] Shin
    but I couldn't help myself.
[12:20] Gin
    Oh, sorry.
[12:33] Gin
    Pachi-boy...
[12:34] Gin
    When you get home, wash your hands first.
[12:36] Shin
    Hold it right there!
[12:37] Shin
    You've got it all wrong!
SIGN    You Can Hide Your Porn Mags
    But You Can't Hide Your °°°
[12:46] (Flashback) Tak
    Please, Shin-chan!
[12:49] (Flashback) Tak
    My family doesn't take too
    kindly to this kinda thing,
[12:53] (Flashback) Tak
    so I'd like to move these to
    a safe location for a while.
[12:57] (Flashback) Tak
    It's just a temporary thing.
[13:00] Shin
    And that's the whole story.
[13:02] Shin
    So it's not like I, uh, had anything
    dirty in mind for th-these.
[13:08] Gin
    Hey, I didn't ask for an explanation.
[13:10] Gin
    Well, I'm a guy, too.
[13:11] Gin
    Don't worry, I understand.
[13:13] Shin
    What exactly is it that you understand?
[13:16] Gin
    I get it, I really do.
[13:17] Gin
    Basically, "from now on, always knock
    before entering Shinpachi's room,
[13:22] Gin
    and never empty the trash in
    his dustbin without permission."
[13:25] Gin
    I just need to tell Kagura
    and Otae that, right?
[13:27] Shin
    What the hell are you trying to tell them?!
[13:28] Shin
    You don't get it at all!
[13:31] Gin
    Yeah, you gotta go through a Jump phase 
    before you climb the stairs to adulthood.
[13:35] Gin
    I went through a Video Girl 
    phase and stuff myself.
[13:37] Shin
    Don't lump the two together!
[13:38] Shin
    I don't see Jump through such vulgar eyes!
[13:41] Gin
    Then what?
[13:43] Gin
    Are you saying it's embarrassing 
    to have Ho Love-ru?
[13:45] Shin
    I-It's not.
SIGN    Owie!
[13:48] Shin
    Just that there are people out there,
[13:50] Shin
    like Taka-chin's parents, who focus on the
    naughty bits and get the wrong idea, right?
SIGN    Look out!
SIGN    Huh?
[13:54] Shin
    Even my sister's pretty
    strict about that stuff.
[13:57] (Flashback) Tae
    What is this, Shin-chan?
[13:59] Gin
    Ignore them. What would women know 
    about Ho Love-ru's greatness?
[14:03] Gin
    In our modern society, where porn
    floods the Internet and phones,
[14:05] Gin
    and the rules and regulations
    keep getting stricter,
[14:08] Gin
    HLR still refuses to yield, and 
    boldly shows nipples in Jump.
[14:11] Gin
    How much courage do you think that
    instills in the hearts of young boys?
[14:14] Gin
    It's nothing like the nudes crazy
    women put up on the Internet.
[14:17] Gin
    It's as meaningful as a pure
    idol taking off her clothes!
[14:20] Gin
    In the first place—
[14:21] Shin
    All right, all right!
[14:22] Shin
    I get how amazing nipples are,
    but could you keep it down?
[14:25] Shin
    Sis might hear us!
[14:28] Shin
    Anyway,
[14:30] Shin
    in order to protect those young boys'
    dreams from Sis and the others—
[14:33] Gin
    They're called the PTA.
[14:34] Shin
    Right.
[14:35] Shin
    In order to protect them from the PTA,
    they sadly have to be hidden somewhere.
[14:40] Shin
    What do we do?
[14:42] Gin
    What do you mean?
[14:43] Gin
    I'm sure you've hidden a
    porn mag or two before.
[14:47] Shin
    N-No, I haven't.
[14:49] Shin
    I've never even read stuff like that...
[14:53] Shin
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[14:55] Gin
    Oh, here? Quite the orthodox move.
[14:57] Shin
    Y-You've got it wrong!
[14:59] Shin
    I only collected these because
    they had Otsu-chan interviews!
[15:03] Gin
    And this over here's...
[15:05] Gin
    Hiding books among other books, eh?
[15:07] Shin
    That's not it, either!
[15:09] Gin
    Or is it so you can use the
    "I'm just randomly putting books
[15:12] Gin
    where there's space, it's not
    like I'm hiding them" excuse?
[15:14] Shin
    No!
[15:15] Shin
    I just had some empty space on my
    shelf, so I bought them to fill it!
[15:20] Gin
    You're naive, Pachi-boy.
[15:22] Gin
    Way too naive.
[15:23] Gin
    Your hiding places are the ones
    98% of guys in this country
[15:27] Gin
    would think of first—the
    most cliched of cliches!
[15:29] Gin
    You can hardly call that "hiding."
[15:32] Gin
    It's the same as sticking them 
    next to volumes of Dragonball!
[15:36] Gin
    Don't underestimate the PTA.
[15:38] Gin
    They only left you alive 'cause you lacked
    the balls to buy actual porn mags.
[15:44] Gin
    You're such a pleb that Young Jump packaging
[15:45] Gin
    and the lingerie pages of mail-order
    catalogs are enough to satisfy you,
[15:49] Gin
    so they never even took
    notice of you. That's all!
[15:51] Shin
    Did you have to reveal that?
[15:54] Gin
    Pachi-boy,
[15:55] Gin
    when you're looking to hide porn
    mags, what do you consider first?
[15:58] Shin
    Wh-Where they'd never catch anyone's eye.
[16:02] Shin
    Something like that?
[16:03] Gin
    That's where you go wrong.
[16:05] Gin
    No matter how you disguise it,
[16:07] Gin
    the very act of hiding something will
    make something seem off in the room.
[16:11] Gin
    And the PTA specializes in
[16:12] Gin
    sniffing out your nervous,
    guilt-ridden, and virgin stench.
[16:17] Shin
    The PTA's way too scary!
[16:20] Gin
    Don't hide porn mags in your room.
[16:23] Gin
    Use the room to hide porn mags!
[16:25] Gin
    If you remodel your entire room,
[16:27] Gin
    no one thing will seem off,
    weakening the PTA's sense of smell.
[16:31] Gin
    You must turn this room into a fortress that
    exists solely to protect your porn mags!
[16:34] Shin
    Is hiding porn mags that big a deal?
[16:37] Gin
    First, move the furniture around,
    and put padlocks on all the storage.
[16:41] Shin
    But that'd make it obvious
    that I'm hiding something.
[16:43] Gin
    It's just a fake-out.
[16:46] Gin
    Put something you value in there.
[16:47] Gin
    However, the PTA will definitely jump at it,
[16:51] Gin
    and as they keep prying locks
    open, their suspicion will fade.
[16:54] Gin
    You can hide the very
    act of hiding porn mags.
[16:58] Shin
    Talk about an elaborate ploy!
[16:59] Shin
    Why's this guy acting like some
    kind of porn-mag-hiding strategist?
[17:03] Shin
    But wait.
[17:04] Shin
    What if they immediately open the
    lock keeping the porn mags safe?
[17:07] Gin
    Oh, we won't lock up the porn mags.
[17:09] Gin
    Just casually put them in this bookshelf.
[17:13] Gin
    In the PTA's eyes, hiding something means you
    might as well be begging someone to find it.
[17:18] Gin
    So we won't hide them.
[17:19] Gin
    That is the best way to
    pull wool over their eyes.
[17:22] Shin
    The porn-mag strategist is overthinking
    things to the point of not making sense.
[17:26] Shin
    B-But what if they happen to find them?
[17:29] Gin
    Didn't I tell you?
[17:30] Gin
    This room is a fortress to protect porn mags.
[17:32] Gin
    In order for the room itself
    to hide the porn mags,
[17:34] Gin
    it'll take on a layout that
    matches the porn mags.
[17:37] Gin
    The PTA will never turn
    their attention to the porn.
[17:40] Gin
    Because they'll be busy focusing on you.
[17:43] Shin
    Are you kidding me?!
[17:44] Shin
    Instead of my porn mags, they'll find
    out about this outrageous fetish!
[17:48] Gin
    Like I said, the room
    will match the porn mags.
[17:50] Shin
    More like it's become a porno itself!
[17:53] Gin
    Who cares about the room?
    Don't lose sight of your cause.
[17:56] Shin
    You're the one who's lost sight!
[17:58] Shin
    Trying to hide porn with porn
    is stupid in the first place!
[18:01] Shin
    I'm trying to keep any and all
    perversion hidden here!
[18:04] Gin
    What? Really?
[18:05] Gin
    That's impossible.
[18:07] Gin
    There's no way to hide
    your perversion. I give up!
[18:09] Gin
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[18:11] Shin
    I'd be done for if anyone
    saw my room like this!
[18:13] Gin
    Well, you do have a point.
[18:16] Gin
    If you don't want your porn mags discovered,
[18:18] Gin
    the easiest way is not letting 
    the PTA into this room at all.
[18:22] Shin
    I never said anything of the sort.
[18:24] Shin
    Is it possible, though?
[18:26] Gin
    That said, putting a padlock on
    the door would be too suspicious.
[18:29] Gin
    Rather than something to keep them
    out physically, we need a mental trick
[18:32] Gin
    that'll make them not want to enter the room.
[18:35] Gin
    Like this, then?
[18:37] Shin
    Nothing's changed from before!
[18:39] Gin
    Nobody'd want to set foot in here.
[18:41] Gin
    They'd be more like "sorry for interrupting."
[18:43] Shin
    Yeah, I bet!
[18:44] Shin
    I'd rather submit to a padlock
    on the door than to this!
[18:52] Shin
    Not "submit" like that!
[18:55] Gin
    Later.
[18:55] Shin
    Don't give me that!
[18:56] Shin
    Untie me! Also, the porn mag
    problem hasn't been solved at all!
[18:59] Gin
    Let's do this, then.
[19:01] Gin
    Sure, petty tricks like hiding won't
    prove effective against the PTA.
[19:06] Gin
    We just need to make it so they won't
    recognize porn mags even if they do find them.
[19:11] Gin
    For example, something like this...
SIGN    You found this? Something might be hiding in the book shelf, too.
SIGN    Good job finding this. You might find something under the tatami mats next.
SIGN    Now, then. Where's the last one? On the desk, maybe?
SIGN    Happy birthday, Sis.
[19:33] Tae
    Shin-chan...
[19:34] Shin
    As if!
[19:35] Shin
    What kinda birthday surprise is that?
[19:37] Shin
    Why portray porn mags as something romantic?!
[19:39] Gin
    This way, she'll be so happy, she'll
    forget all about finding the porn mags.
[19:43] Shin
    Like hell she will!
[19:44] Shin
    I'm totally giving her one as a present!
[19:46] Gin
    Then what about this?
[19:48] Tae
    Shin-chan?
[19:50] Tae
    What? What are these books?!
[20:07] Tae
    I'm sorry...
[20:09] Shin
    As if!
[20:10] Shin
    Why am I playing dominoes with porn mags?!
[20:12] Shin
    Why would she apologize there?!
[20:14] Gin
    The guilt of toppling your dominoes
[20:15] Gin
    will make her forget all
    about finding the porn mags.
[20:17] Shin
    Like hell she'd forget!
[20:19] Shin
    Seeing her brother like that
    would traumatize her for life!
[20:21] Gin
    I knew you'd say that, so I added
    a little trick to the dominoes.
SIGN    Happy birthday, Sis.
[20:27] Gin
    "Happy birthday, Sis."
[20:28] Shin
    I'm telling you, enough about birthdays!
[20:33] Tae
    Shin-chan!
[20:34] Shin
    Seriously, that's not gonna happen!
[20:35] Shin
    That doesn't hide what it is!
[20:37] Shin
    Besides, this method only lets me
    hide porn mags on her birthday!
SIGN    Every day, someone in the world is celebrating a happy birthday.
[20:40] Gin
    "Every day, someone in the world
    is celebrating a happy birthday."
[20:43] Shin
    Quit making poignant statements
    using porn mags! It's annoying!
[20:46] P
    Oh, Shin-chan!
[20:47] Shin
    What're people from all
    over the world doing here?!
[20:49] Shin
    Also, now my porn mags have
    been discovered worldwide!
SIGN    Happy birthday, me.
[20:53] Gin
    "Happy birthday, me."
[20:54] Shin
    That makes me look really lonely!
[20:59] Shin
    Somebody show up already!
    Somebody come celebrate my birthday!
[21:02] Shin
    Jeez, I've been thinking about porn mags so
    much, I don't know what's what anymore—
[21:07] Shin
    What's wrong with having porn mags?
[21:09] Shin
    Why do I have to hide them?
[21:11] Shin
    Actually, what are porn mags?
[21:12] Shin
    What does erotic mean?
[21:14] Gin
    Is your brain fried?
[21:15] Shin
    You know, Ho Love-ru isn't even porn, right?
[21:19] Shin
    If you only look at the cover, you won't
    be able to tell it has fanservice, right?
[21:24] Gin
    Wait, could it be...
[21:29] Gin
    This could work.
SIGN    Ho Love-ru   Dragonball
[21:31] Gin
    What the hell? We were
    just overthinking things!
[21:34] Shin
    We jumped to conclusions and started
    thinking of all kinds of ridiculous things.
[21:37] Gin
    That's what you get for having
    perverted thoughts all the time.
[21:40] Shin
    That's just how it goes.
[21:42] Shin
    'Cause, really, all men...
[21:43] Gin
    ...think with their dicks.
[21:47] Gin
    Man, thinking about all
    that crap wore me out.
[21:50] Gin
    Let's go get some tea somewhere.
[21:57] Both
    Oh...
[21:58] Tae
    Shin-chan, Gin-san.
[22:01] Tae
    I brought tea...
[22:06] B
    We forgot to clean up the room.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:40] Sac
    At last, my 1LGK home is complete!
[23:44] Gin
    Next Episode:
SIGN    A Mirror Provides a Frozen Reflection 
    of Both Your Beautiful and Ugly Sides
[23:45] Gin
    "A Mirror Provides a Frozen Reflection
    of Both Your Beautiful and Ugly Sides,"
[23:48] Gin
    and one more.
SIGN    At this point, the word "frozen"
SIGN    only brings to mind one thing,
SIGN    but this manga chapter was published first,
SIGN    so we decided to let it go!