E265 - Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
[01:41] Gin
What's that look for?
[01:43] Gin
Got a problem?
[01:45] Gin
If it's not enough, eat the meatballs
on the bottoms of your feet.
SIGN meatball (paw pads)
SIGN Sorry, Sadaharu.
[01:49] Kag
You'll have to make do with this today.
[01:51] Kag
Odd Jobs is going through
a food shortage right now.
[01:54] Kag
We're all starving.
[01:58] Kag
That's a good boy.
[02:00] Kag
Gin-chan, Sadaharu understands.
[02:02] Gin
Good.
[02:03] Gin
Then the three of us can split this.
[02:07] Both
Thanks.
[02:10] Shin
What the hell?!
[02:12] Shin
Don't you have any human dignity?!
[02:15] Shin
You shouldn't steal food from your
pet, no matter how hungry you are!
[02:17] Shin
You should be ashamed!
[02:19] Gin
Can you blame us?
[02:20] Gin
It's been ages since
we last had a client,
[02:22] Gin
so we don't have a single
grain of rice left.
[02:26] Gin
The situation's so grim
[02:27] ---
that we may go from eating dog
food to eating the dog for food.
[02:30] Shin
Eating the dog for food?!
[02:31] Shin
You're moving from pissing off the
PTA to pissing off PETA now?!
[02:35] Gin
What's that about PETA?
[02:37] Gin
Does the PTA eat PETA?
[02:39] Kag
The PTA only eats up
teachers with an attitude.
[02:42] Shin
That's completely different!
[02:44] Gin
Quit your bitching.
[02:45] Gin
Whose fault do you think this is?
[02:49] Gin
It's because of this large animal
that eats a lot and never works,
[02:53] Gin
and the glasses boy who just
wears glasses and never works.
[02:57] Shin
Hey! You've crossed the line now!
[02:59] Shin
Apologize! Apologize to my glasses!
[03:01] Gin
Seriously, you should
try to understand
[03:04] ---
how hard it is for me to
take care of you all.
[03:07] Gin
Hey, you're sporting some
yummy-looking wings.
[03:10] Shin
They're not wings!
They're greasy glasses!
[03:13] Shin
And they're not greasy!
[03:14] Kag
You're wearing shellfish to be fashionable?!
[03:17] Kag
Are you supposed to be Takeda Kumiko?!
[03:18] Shin
Wait!
[03:19] Shin
These people are so hungry
that they're hallucinating!
[03:22] Kag
Hand that over!
[03:23] Shin
Hey, what are you doing?!
[03:25] Shin
Those are my glasses!
[03:26] Shin
You can't eat them!
[03:27] Shin
Hey!
[03:28] Shin
Why are you grilling them?!
[03:31] Gin
You should try to understand how hard
it is for me to take care of you all.
SIGN Please take me home.
[05:08] Gin
Enough already!
[05:10] Gin
Egg on rice again?!
[05:12] Gin
Why do you waste food like this?!
[05:15] Kag
What food? The fridge was empty.
[05:18] Gin
Your head is empty!
[05:20] Kag
Sadaharu puts up with the meager
servings of cheap food we give him.
[05:24] Kag
Shut up and eat.
[05:26] Gin
Ah, is that so?
[05:27] Gin
Here you go then.
[05:28] Kag
Gin-chan! Sadaharu isn't
your garbage disposal!
[05:31] Kag
And there's no food left
if you refuse to eat that.
[05:34] Gin
Sorry, but unlike the rest
of you, I'm a gourmet.
[05:38] Gin
You animals can have your pet food.
[06:18] A
I-It's so cute!
[06:21] A
What is this?!
[06:22] A
Where did you find it, Captain Okita?!
[06:25] Kon
Hold on, Sogo...
[06:26] Kon
Isn't that the Odd Jobs dog?
[06:29] Oki
I don't know if he was
dumped or if he ran away,
[06:31] ---
but he was urinating in the streets.
[06:32] Kon
Uh, so why did you bring him here?
[06:35] Oki
Oh, you remember how we screwed up
[06:37] ---
the last time we tried to boost
our image with a mascot?
[06:39] Oki
We should give it another try.
[06:41] Oki
We can make some money by dumping him
[06:44] ---
and Hijikata-san at the South Pole
[06:46] Oki
and making the one who
returns alive our mascot.
[06:47] Hiji
That wouldn't be a mascot!
It'd be a scum-cot!
[06:51] Hiji
Give me a break.
[06:52] Hiji
We don't need any symbols
of weakness like mascots.
[06:56] Hiji
Besides, we already have a
mascot in Kondo-san, you fool.
[06:59] B
He's no mascot! He's a shit-cot!
[07:01] Kon
Who was that?! Who
called me Ridley Scott?!
[07:04] Kon
Thank you!
[07:04] Hiji
Nobody had anything
nice to say about you.
[07:06] Hiji
And why do we have to take
in their used goods?
[07:10] Hiji
He'll interfere with our work.
[07:11] Hiji
Get rid of him.
[07:12] A
Vice-Chief, are you telling us to
throw out this adorable creature?!
[07:15] Hiji
Adorable, my ass.
[07:17] ---
I'll have you all commit seppuku
for failing as warriors.
[07:19] A
Then you throw it out!
[07:20] Hiji
Fine, you fools.
[07:30] Hiji
Kondo-san...
[07:31] Hiji
I just remembered that we
don't have any police dogs.
[07:33] A
You commit seppuku!
[07:34] Hiji
Shut up!
[07:35] Hiji
I'm just saying that
we need police dogs!
[07:37] Hiji
There's nothing adorable
about this furball!
[07:40] Hiji
First, we'll run some tests to
see if it's qualified enough!
[07:43] Hiji
And I won't go easy on dogs, dammit!
[07:46] Hiji
Listen up! Police dogs
depend on their noses.
[07:49] Hiji
They need to be able to sniff out
suspects, drugs, and all kinds of stuff.
[07:54] Hiji
So here's a test.
[07:55] Hiji
Half-fat, quarter-fat,
non-cholesterol, non-oil, mustard.
[08:00] Hiji
Can you tell the difference?
[08:01] A
They're all mayonnaise!
[08:04] A
Hey, what are you planning on
using these police dogs for?!
[08:05] A
What kind of crime are
you preparing for?!
[08:07] Hiji
First, identify my favorite type.
[08:09] A
Uh, nobody knows what you
like! And nobody cares!
[08:12] Hiji
Ah, the quarter-fat?
[08:14] Hiji
An excellent choice.
[08:16] Hiji
But right now, I'm in the
mood for some non-oil.
[08:18] A
Your preference changes?!
[08:20] Hiji
But I like your taste.
[08:22] Hiji
Here's your reward.
[08:24] Hiji
Enjoy.
[08:24] A
You just wanted to feed
the dog mayonnaise!
[08:27] Hiji
Don't be shy.
[08:29] Hiji
Hurry up and eat.
[08:31] Hiji
Hurry up.
[08:38] Sa
Yes, there, there.
[08:40] Sa
Honestly, I don't know what happened,
[08:43] Sa
but you should probably make up soon.
[08:46] Sa
I know.
[08:47] Sa
Gin-san isn't the kind of person
who would kick you out.
[08:51] Sa
You probably left because he
was being nasty as usual.
[08:56] Sa
Unfortunately, I won't be
able to keep you here.
[09:00] Sa
You already have a home, after all.
[09:04] Sa
But if you plan on making up soon,
you can stay here until then.
[09:09] Sa
I can't let Gin-san's precious
pet die on the streets.
[09:17] Sa
Stop, that tickles.
[09:19] Sa
I envy you.
[09:21] Sa
Do you do this with
Gin-san all the time?
[09:23] Sa
I wish I could have been
born as Gin-san's pet.
[09:27] Sa
Just kidding.
[09:29] Sa
I'll go make something to eat.
[09:31] Sa
You must be hungry.
[09:32] Sa
Wait here.
[09:40] Sa
The moment I've been waiting
for has finally come!
[09:45] Sa
This is my chance to
become Gin-san's pet!
[09:48] Sa
His white fur will be my wedding dress!
[09:53] Sa
Hold on, Gin-san.
[09:54] Sa
Your cute pet will be coming
back to you soon.
[10:05] Zura
Ah, I see.
[10:07] Zura
It must have been difficult
to have such a lazy owner.
[10:10] Zura
But Sadaharu, I knew that
you would wake up one day.
[10:14] Zura
The spirit of the Joi burns within you.
[10:17] Zura
I knew that it would guide
you to your true leader.
[10:20] Zura
That you would find me.
[10:22] Zura
And that is why
[10:24] Zura
I've been waiting here since
[10:26] ---
that game of Kick the Can
two months ago.
[10:28] Zura
You can't have an episode about
Master Shoyo without me.
[10:33] Zura
I managed to adjust my
schedule so I could squeeze in,
[10:36] Zura
but I didn't expect this to take so long.
[10:39] Zura
I'm an expert at hiding,
[10:41] Zura
but it's been so long
[10:42] ---
that I had to wonder if
the game was already over.
[10:45] Zura
If anyone had even noticed
that I was playing...
[10:49] Zura
I felt like crying for a moment.
[10:51] Zura
Runaway Kotaro tried a
little too hard there.
[10:55] Zura
I caused everyone so much trouble.
[10:57] Zura
Well, everyone's probably been
worried and looking for me.
[11:00] Zura
I should probably head back.
[11:05] Zura
Crap...
[11:06] Zura
After staying in this position for two
months, my body is stiff as a rock!
[11:09] Zura
Zabeth, call for a doctor!
[11:12] Zura
How could this happen?
[11:14] Zura
I don't think I can last long
enough for sensei to arrive.
[11:16] Zura
S-Sadaharu-kun...
[11:17] Zura
I apologize.
[11:19] Zura
I won't be able to keep my promise
to become your owner.
[11:22] Zura
And can you please relay a
message when the doctor comes?
[11:25] Zura
Tell him to charge any taxi or
any other transportation costs
[11:30] Zura
to sensei.
SIGN Please take me home.
[12:02] Shin
Did you see him around here?
[12:03] A
Yeah, it was a really big dog,
so it must have been him.
[12:06] A
He was dragging a little puppy around.
[12:10] Kag
Sadaharu...
[12:13] Kag
Sadaharu, where are you?!
[12:16] Kag
Say something if you're there!
[12:18] Kag
Please come back!
[12:20] Kag
Sadaharu!
[12:39] Shin
What? Work?
[12:41] Gin
Yeah, we finally have a client.
[12:43] Gin
No more eating dog food.
[12:46] Shin
Weren't you supposed to
be looking for Sadaharu
[12:48] Shin
instead of wasting time?
[12:50] Gin
Wasting time? Want me to punch you?
[12:53] Shin
Aren't you worried about him, Gin-san?
[12:55] Shin
Sadaharu hasn't been home in two days.
[12:59] Shin
He was starving when he left,
[13:01] Shin
and we don't know if he's
gotten anything to eat
[13:02] Shin
Sadaharu!
[13:03] ---
or if something's happened to him.
[13:05] Shin
How can you expect us to work?
[13:05] Shin
Come back, Sadaharu!
[13:08] Gin
That's not good, Shinpachi-kun.
[13:09] Gin
You're thinking like a NEET now.
[13:13] Gin
Nothing's happened to him.
[13:15] Shin
Huh?
[13:15] Gin
He left because he
couldn't get any food.
[13:19] Gin
It's that simple.
[13:22] Gin
An animal doesn't understand
the concept of family.
[13:26] Gin
Besides...
[13:28] Gin
I'm not interested in keeping
anyone around who isn't
[13:30] ---
willing to share when times are tough.
[13:32] Gin
Even if he's just an animal.
[13:34] Gin
There you go.
[13:35] Gin
If you like dog food, you can eat
it for the rest of your life.
[13:38] Gin
I'll go make some money and
have a chocolate parfait.
[13:41] Shin
W-Wait, Gin-san!
[13:44] Shin
Gin-san!
SIGN Edo Animal Hospital
[13:48] A
It's a mononoke!
[13:49] A
The dog god Moro has come
to hunt down our patients!
[13:53] B
Scram, mountain dog!
[13:54] B
This is where humans live!
[13:56] B
Mononoke should go back
to the mountains!
[14:02] A
It released something!
[14:04] B
Be careful!
[14:04] B
You'll die if you touch that stuff!
[14:21] Kag
Sadaharu!
SIGN 1 Fourth St.
SIGN 1 Fourth St.
[14:46] Gin
So the owner of this house is dead?
[14:49] B
Yes, he died all alone.
[14:53] B
He kept a lot of dogs, and there were
[14:55] B
many complaints from the neighbors
about the smell and noise.
[14:59] B
There was a relative who liked
dogs and visited occasionally,
[15:03] B
but it appears that they grew distant.
[15:06] C
And the number of dogs was declining.
[15:08] ---
There was only one left when he died.
[15:12] C
When the neighborhood association
cleaned his place,
[15:13] ---
she didn't know what to do
with it, so she threw it out.
[15:16] D
W-Well, it was a mutt, sick and
frail, so nobody wanted it.
[15:22] C
There have been rumors that
he's been wandering around.
[15:26] C
We've been receiving complaints
from various pet owners.
[15:29] C
They're worried it may
get their pets sick.
[15:32] B
So could you catch it and
dispose of it for us?
[15:37] Gin
Is that even necessary? It probably
died already if it was sick.
[15:41] B
I hope so, but if we wait for it to
become a problem, it'll be too late.
[15:45] B
If it's dying anyway, does it matter
if it happens a little sooner?
[15:48] C
Honestly...
[15:49] C
That old man left us a
big mess to clean up.
[15:55] A
What's this huge dog?!
[15:59] Gin
Hey, hey.
[16:01] Gin
This stray's bigger than I was expecting.
[16:04] Gin
It'll take some effort to dispose of it.
[16:07] Gin
You know the puppy they're
talking about, right?
[16:10] Gin
If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.
[16:13] Gin
The reward will buy us plenty of
food, so everyone will be happy.
[16:17] Gin
Do you see a problem?
[16:22] C
Wait up!
[16:23] B
Odd Jobs, catch that monster!
[16:27] B
Why are you standing there?
Hurry up already!
[16:35] Gin
If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.
[17:02] Gin
Then the three of us can split this.
[18:56] B
It stinks!
[18:57] D
What's going on?!
[18:58] D
Who would do such a thing?!
[19:00] C
So many fish...
[19:04] Gin
It was our dog.
[19:06] Gin
It looked like he was taking
care of that puppy,
[19:09] Gin
so I tampered with the
food he was bringing it.
[19:13] Gin
Look. See this?
[19:16] Gin
My dog is very bright.
[19:18] Gin
He fed the puppy poisoned
food to do my job for me.
[19:26] Gin
So can you pay up now?
[19:34] Gin
Yo, you awake?
SIGN General Animal Hospital
[19:37] Gin
You were suffering from malnutrition.
[19:39] Gin
They told me I shouldn't have
a pet if I can't feed it.
[19:44] Gin
Although you're the one who
ran off and starved yourself.
[19:48] Gin
But you helped deal
with the puppy for me.
[19:54] Gin
You can eat all you want today.
[20:00] Gin
What?
[20:01] Gin
I thought you might understand
how it feels to be an owner
[20:04] ---
after taking care of that puppy.
[20:06] Gin
Were you hoping for fish tails?
[20:08] Gin
Or is the portion too small,
considering the reward?
[20:14] Gin
Don't blame me.
[20:15] Gin
There were a lot of expenses
associated with this job,
[20:18] Gin
so I used up most of
the money we received.
[20:21] Gin
Besides, the Sakata family always
shares when times are tough.
[20:27] Gin
We share the food
[20:31] Gin
and the pain.
[20:37] Gin
Thanks for sharing.
[20:43] A
Thank you so much!
[20:45] A
You kept Grandpa's dog safe.
[20:47] Shin
Well, you should thank
the big dog inside.
[20:57] Doc
Hold on!
[20:58] Doc
You haven't paid for all the
medicine you fed the puppy!
[21:02] Doc
Hey!
[21:04] Doc
Sakata-san! Wait!
[23:36] Shin
Hold on a sec!
[23:37] Shin
What's this Final Act business?!
[23:39] Shin
This is news to me!
[23:40] Kag
Well, they're probably just fooling
around again with a fake!
[23:44] Gin
Or they're pretending that it's fake.
[23:45] Kag
Or it is fake.
[23:46] Gin
That's what they want you to think.
[23:47] Kag
But it's really fake.
[23:48] Shin
You're not making any sense at all!
SIGN We only lasted half a year this time,
SIGN but thank you for all the support.
SIGN The movie is coming up in July,
SIGN so please continue to support Gintama!!
[23:59] ---
See you sometime...