# E256.C - Gintama Classic - It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR752KENY/gintama-classic---it-takes-a-bit-of-courage-to-enter-a-street-vendors-stand)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** It's starting!
***SIGN*** [Note: Written on Elizabeth's sign.
Parody of an MGM silent film.]
***SIGN*** Elizabeth's first errand
***SIGN*** Starring
***SIGN*** Elizabeth
Kotaro Katsura
***SIGN*** All the people in Edo
***SIGN*** Katsura: Elizabeth, I need you to run an errand.
***SIGN*** An errand?
***SIGN*** Katsura: There's a sale on shampoo at the Oedo Mart.
***SIGN*** Why me?
***SIGN*** Katsura: I'm a wanted member of the Anti-Foreigner Faction, though I may not look the part.
***SIGN*** Katsura: I can't go shopping at a supermarket in broad daylight...
***SIGN*** You can keep the change.
***SIGN*** Hostess Bar
Only 2000 yen!!
***SIGN*** Hostess Bar Old Lady Paradise
***SIGN*** Nakamura Restaurant
***SIGN*** Flower Shop
***SIGN*** Hemorrhoids. Your Worries
***SIGN*** Katsura: Elizabeth isn't back yet...
***SIGN*** Where's the Oedo Store again?
***SIGN*** Where is the Oedo Store?
***SIGN*** Michael: I can't read Japanese.
***SIGN*** I'm trying to get to the Oedo Store.
***SIGN*** Old Man: My eyes aren't too good.
***SIGN*** Where is the Oedo Store located??
***SIGN*** Pedro: How about you listen to my story instead?
***SIGN*** Pedro: This weird kid showed up at my place again last night.
***SIGN*** Pedro: They ring my doorbell and say...
***SIGN*** 20 minutes later
***SIGN*** Pedro: So yeah, this story doesn't really have a punch line or anything.
***SIGN*** Where is the Oedo Store located?
***SIGN*** Pedro: Huh? Oedo Store?
***SIGN*** Pedro: Never heard of it.
***SIGN*** Kagura: Elizabeth, what's up?
***SIGN*** Big Sale
***SIGN*** ...My spare sign...
***SIGN*** is gone.
***SIGN*** What do I do?
***SIGN*** What do I do?!
**[04:15] Elizabeth**
Excuse me.
***SIGN*** [Note: Voice by supervisor,
Shinji Takamatsu.]
**[04:16] Elizabeth**
Where's the Oedo Store?
***SIGN*** Kagura: Over there.
***SIGN*** Katsura: Oh!! What a relief, Elizabeth.
***SIGN*** Katsura: This is...
***SIGN*** conditioner.
***SIGN*** Katsura: Unbelievable!! This is unbelievable!!
***SIGN*** Katsura: I expected you to be a little more useful.
***SIGN*** Katsura: What are you going to do if my long hair becomes all dry?!
***SIGN*** Katsura: I don't want to end up with dandruff. I'll have a hard time leading my men if my head's covered with flakes.
***SIGN*** Katsura: Everyone will be staring at the dandruff instead of listening to what I say. Ahh, I expected you to be a little more useful. A preschooler could run this errand for me. I saw it on TV the other day, and I almost cried. But no, look at you.
***SIGN*** Whoohoo!
***SIGN*** ["It Takes a Bit of Courage to
Enter a Street Vendor's Stand"]
***SIGN***
**[07:07] Man**
Welcome!
**[07:09] Gin**
Man, it's freezing today, old man.
**[07:12] Man**
It sure is.
**[07:14] Man**
It might snow soon.
**[07:17] Man**
They keep talking about global warming,
**[07:19] Man**
but Earth's only getting
warmer on the outside.
**[07:23] Gin**
Got that right.
***SIGN*** [Note: "Warm action" refers to getting
some more money in his wallet.]
**[07:24] Gin**
When will I get some
warm action going on?
**[07:28] Man**
Warm yourself up with
some of this, big guy.
**[07:31] Gin**
Sorry, but I'm looking
for something sweeter.
**[07:36] Man**
Sweeter?
**[07:37] Gin**
Sorry, but could you mix a little
coffee milk or strawberry milk in there?
**[07:41] Gin**
Can you fix one up?
**[07:43] Man**
Absolutely, but you have
unique tastes, big guy.
**[07:48] Gin**
You know what they say.
**[07:49] Gin**
Something sweet helps
when you're exhausted.
**[07:53] Man**
That's right, big guy.
You look awfully tired.
**[07:56] Man**
And your hair's all white.
**[07:58] Man**
Did something happen?
**[08:00] Gin**
I was born this way.
**[08:02] Man**
If you've got something on your
mind, why not let it out here?
**[08:07] Gin**
Huh?
**[08:07] Man**
Men are vain creatures.
**[08:10] Man**
They never complain, whether
at work or at home.
**[08:13] Man**
Some things can only
be told to a stranger.
**[08:16] Man**
Men need a place like this.
**[08:21] Gin**
There really isn't
anything on my mind...
**[08:25] Gin**
Besides, the audience is watching.
**[08:27] Man**
Don't worry. This place protects
the privacy of its customers.
**[08:32] Man**
Like how they can't even see your face.
**[08:35] Gin**
Ah, I see.
**[08:36] Man**
Yeah.
**[08:37] Man**
It'll be like this the entire episode,
so nobody will know who you are.
**[08:42] Man**
Feel free to say anything.
**[08:44] Gin**
Ah, I see.
**[08:45] Man**
By the way, the practice here
**[08:47] Man**
is to pretend you don't recognize
each other if you're acquaintances.
**[08:52] Man**
First: Complain all you want.
**[08:56] Man**
Second: Come alone.
**[08:58] Man**
Third: Pretend you don't recognize
each other if you're acquaintances.
**[09:02] Man**
Fourth: Forget everything you hear
in this place and do not tell a soul.
**[09:07] Man**
A place where you can
feel free to complain.
**[09:11] Man**
That's what this stall is for.
**[09:14] Man**
Come on, big guy. Don't think too
much and just spill your guts today.
**[09:20] Man**
Brush off all the dirt
from this sad world
**[09:22] ---**
so you can feel refreshed
tomorrow, yeah?
**[09:25] Man**
Okay, coffee milk with shochu.
**[09:27] Gin**
Complain, you say?
**[09:29] Gin**
Actually, I'm complaining all the time,
so I don't really have anything...
**[09:32] Hijikata**
'Sup.
**[09:33] Man**
Hey, welcome!
**[09:35] Man**
Ah, sorry, big guy.
**[09:36] Man**
Could you slide over a bit?
**[09:38] Man**
Give this handsome samurai a seat.
**[09:41] Hijikata**
Ah, sorry.
**[09:42] Gin**
Not at all. Go ahead.
**[09:45] Hijikata**
Whew, I can finally warm myself up.
**[09:48] Gin**
It's freezing out there.
**[09:49] Gin**
Came out of nowhere, really.
**[09:51] Gin**
It wasn't this bad yesterday.
**[09:54] Hijikata**
Indeed.
**[09:55] Hijikata**
We're pretty much guaranteed
to have snow...
**[10:01] Man**
Eh? Why did the two of you
suddenly stop talking?
**[10:07] Man**
Don't tell me...
**[10:11] Gin**
Ah, no. It's nothing.
**[10:14] Hijikata**
Hey, pops.
**[10:15] Hijikata**
Give me hot sake.
**[10:16] Hijikata**
[Note: Fish cakes and tofu fritters
are popular items in an Oden hotpot.]
**[10:16] Hijikata**
And a fish cake, a tofu
fritter, and an egg.
**[10:18] Man**
Gotcha.
**[10:18] Hijikata**
And the usual...
**[10:21] Man**
Gotcha. Mayonnaise, right?
**[10:25] Gin**
Uh, do you come here often?
**[10:28] Hijikata**
Huh?
**[10:29] Gin**
Well, you just asked for the usual...
**[10:32] Gin**
Do you have a lot of complaining to do?
**[10:35] Hijikata**
Nah, only once in a while.
**[10:37] Hijikata**
Only been here two or three times, yeah.
**[10:39] Man**
You've been here at least fifty times.
**[10:41] Hijikata**
Uh, pops?
**[10:42] Hijikata**
Could you butt out? Please stop.
**[10:44] Gin**
Huh? You're here today
to complain again?
**[10:46] Hijikata**
No, I'm just here for a drink today.
**[10:49] Man**
Is it that gorilla boss of yours again?
**[10:52] Hijikata**
Pops, keep your mouth shut.
**[10:54] Hijikata**
Stop it!
**[10:55] Gin**
Huh, your boss is a gorilla?
**[10:58] Gin**
Sounds hard... No wonder
you want to complain.
**[11:01] Hijikata**
No, you've got it wrong.
**[11:03] Hijikata**
Though he's a gorilla.
**[11:05] Hijikata**
It's not like I'm badmouthing
him all the time.
**[11:08] Man**
That's right. Instead of badmouthing
him all the time, you just go...
**[11:11] Man**
"Die!" usually.
**[11:14] Hijikata**
Pops!
**[11:15] Hijikata**
Die!
**[11:16] Hijikata**
You die!
**[11:17] Man**
No, listen to me, big guy.
**[11:19] Man**
The mayo samurai's boss is
always pestering this woman.
**[11:24] Man**
And this guy has to clean
up afterwards every time.
**[11:28] Gin**
I see. That sounds rough.
**[11:31] Gin**
Sounds rough, but "Die!"
was a little shocking.
**[11:34] Hijikata**
No, when I say die...
**[11:37] Hijikata**
It's like a figure of speech...
**[11:40] Hijikata**
Like an expression of love...
**[11:43] Hijikata**
If I really wanted him to die,
I wouldn't tell him to die.
**[11:49] Hijikata**
Hey, you understand, right?
**[11:51] Hijikata**
Pops, raise the sign
again. One more time.
**[11:56] Hijikata**
You understand, right?
**[11:58] Hijikata**
Look carefully. Look carefully
at the fourth item!
**[12:01] Hijikata**
Stare long and hard!
**[12:02] Gin**
I got it. I got it. I got it.
**[12:03] Gin**
Don't worry. Don't worry.
**[12:06] Hijikata**
You understand, right?
**[12:08] Hijikata**
Hold on, big guy.
**[12:09] Hijikata**
Look carefully at the third item.
**[12:10] Kondo**
Hey, pops! I'm back!
**[12:15] Man**
Ah, Gori-san. It's been a long time.
**[12:18] Man**
What a troublemaker.
**[12:19] Man**
You're drunk already, aren't you?
**[12:21] Kondo**
Well, it was freezing out there today.
**[12:24] Kondo**
So I had a drink over there.
**[12:26] Kondo**
But now is when I get serious!
**[12:28] Kondo**
Oh, we've got ourselves a bunch
of complainers here today!
**[12:31] Kondo**
This looks fun!
**[12:37] Kondo**
Ah?
**[12:38] Man**
Eh? What's wrong, Gori-san,
Mayo Samurai-san?
**[12:42] Man**
You look pale.
**[12:44] Man**
Come on, what are you doing?
**[12:45] Man**
Slide over. Slide over.
**[12:47] Man**
Gori-san's got a big body,
so make plenty of room.
**[12:51] Man**
Well, we were just enjoying ourselves.
**[12:55] Man**
Listening to the mayo samurai's story.
**[12:57] Hijikata**
No, no, pops.
**[12:58] Hijikata**
Can't we drop that subject already?
**[13:00] Hijikata**
Can't we drop it already?
**[13:01] Kondo**
Huh? What? What story?
**[13:03] Man**
Fact is, this guy's boss is a gori-
**[13:06] Hijikata**
Ah! What?! Is that UFO?!
**[13:09] Kondo**
Uh, you realize that UFOs are flying
around all the time in this world.
**[13:12] Man**
And that gorilla's always
pestering this woman and
**[13:15] ---**
he thinks the gorilla should just die-
**[13:17] Hijikata**
Look!
**[13:18] Hijikata**
That's definitely a UFO!
**[13:19] Hijikata**
Hey, let's go check it out!
**[13:22] Kondo**
Heh...
**[13:24] Kondo**
That kinda sounds rough...
**[13:27] Kondo**
Your boss is a gorilla, huh?
**[13:29] Kondo**
What a coincidence.
**[13:30] Kondo**
I have the same nickname as that person.
**[13:32] Man**
Ah, that's right, Gori-san.
**[13:36] Man**
Huh?
**[13:36] Man**
Gori-san, are you crying?
**[13:40] Kondo**
I'm not!
**[13:42] Kondo**
Not at all! Just got
something in my eye!
**[13:45] Kondo**
I have allergies!
**[13:46] Hijikata**
Uh, can I leave now?
**[13:49] Man**
Eh?
**[13:50] Hijikata**
I'm feeling sick after
drinking too much.
**[13:53] Man**
Hold on, Mayo Samurai-san.
**[13:56] Man**
Listen to what Gori-san has to say.
**[13:59] Man**
This gorilla's completely
different from yours.
**[14:02] Kondo**
No, no, no, no, no! It's okay!
**[14:04] Kondo**
They don't need to hear my story!
**[14:05] Man**
This gorilla's in a relationship
with a hostess girl right now.
**[14:10] Kondo**
Ah, wait!
**[14:11] Man**
And this gorilla is always
watching over her as a bodyguard.
**[14:16] Gin**
Wow... That's impressive.
**[14:17] Gin**
He's her bodyguard...
**[14:19] Gin**
A bodyguard that hides
under eaves and stuff...
**[14:22] Man**
Great man, right?
**[14:24] Man**
You won't find anyone else
like this these days.
**[14:26] Gin**
You won't.
**[14:27] Gin**
You won't find a bodyguard like that.
**[14:29] Gin**
That wouldn't be called a bodyguard.
**[14:31] Man**
But even after everything
Gori-san has done,
**[14:35] ---**
this woman hasn't let him do...
**[14:37] Kondo**
Ah! Isn't that Kazuo Umezu?!
***SIGN*** [Note: Kazuo Umezu is considered the
godfather of Japanese horror manga.]
**[14:40] Man**
He's going as a customer,
so you'd think she could
**[14:43] ---**
show her appreciation by letting him...
**[14:45] Kondo**
Look!
**[14:46] Kondo**
That has to be Kazuo Umezu!
**[14:48] Kondo**
Let's all go and do
the famous hand sign!
***SIGN*** [Note: "Guwashi!" is a handsign used in
the manga "Makoto-chan" by Kazuo Umezu.]
**[14:50] Man**
Don't you find this woman pathetic?
**[14:53] Man**
She's a terrible match
for Gori-san here.
**[14:57] Man**
I keep telling him to break up with her,
**[15:01] Man**
but he's such a nice guy.
**[15:03] Tae**
Good evening.
**[15:04] Man**
Ah, welcome, Pony-chan.
***SIGN*** [Note: Nicknamed that
after her ponytail.]
**[15:08] Man**
Er? Do you have the night off?
**[15:10] Tae**
Yes, I was just stopping by
on my way back from shopping.
**[15:13] Tae**
Um, I made too many omelets,
**[15:17] Tae**
so I thought I might offer my
appreciation for imposing all the time.
**[15:19] Man**
Ah, ah...
**[15:21] Man**
Thanks as always, Pony-chan...
**[15:28] Tae**
Um...
**[15:28] Man**
Ah! Have a seat. Have a seat.
**[15:31] Man**
Come on, men!
**[15:32] Man**
Slide over!
**[15:33] Man**
We've finally got a woman here.
**[15:38] Man**
Did you hear what we were
talking about, Pony-chan?
**[15:41] Tae**
No, I didn't hear a thing.
**[15:42] Man**
Ah, isn't that great, Gori-san?
**[15:44] Man**
You didn't lose your chance.
**[15:46] Man**
Why not switch over to this lady?
**[15:48] Man**
She's a good girl.
**[15:52] Man**
Huh?
**[15:53] Man**
What's wrong, everyone?
**[15:55] Man**
You're all pale as ghosts.
**[15:58] Man**
Gori-san...
**[15:59] Man**
Huh?
**[16:00] Man**
Gori-san's foaming at the mouth.
**[16:02] Tae**
My, I wonder what's wrong.
**[16:04] Tae**
Are you okay?
**[16:05] Man**
Huh? Something's growing
out of his back?
**[16:08] Tae**
Onion? It's a green onion.
**[16:10] Man**
Green onion growing from his back...
**[16:12] Man**
Or no, more than growing,
it's burrowing in!
**[16:16] Hijikata**
Gori-san!
**[16:17] Man**
This is terrible!
**[16:19] Tae**
It must be a phantom killer.
**[16:20] Tae**
The work of a phantom killer.
**[16:22] Tae**
How terrifying...
**[16:23] Hijikata**
I've never heard of a killer that
stabs people with green onions!
**[16:26] Gin**
This must be the work of a real monster.
**[16:29] Gin**
To harden a sprig of green onion to such
a degree and stab without being noticed...
**[16:33] Gin**
They must be an enhancer
type of nen power.
***SIGN***
**[16:36] Man**
I should probably close up soon.
**[16:39] Tae**
Don't worry.
**[16:41] Tae**
The target's been
eliminated, so the killer
**[16:43] ---**
won't return to the scene of the crime.
**[16:45] Tae**
Come, let's drink.
**[16:47] Hijikata**
Pops, I'm taking Gori-san
to the hospital!
**[16:49] Hijikata**
I'm off then!
**[16:51] Man**
Sorry about this, Mayo Samurai-san.
**[16:53] Gin**
Hey! Wait!
**[16:55] Gin**
You're going to leave me alone here?!
**[16:56] Gin**
Leave me alone in a cage
with an enraged monster?!
**[17:00] Tae**
What are you talking about?
**[17:02] Gin**
N-No, I was worried about Gori-san,
**[17:05] ---**
so I was thinking about tagging along...
**[17:07] Tae**
But they're already gone.
**[17:09] Gin**
That was fast!
**[17:10] Gin**
All the way over there in no time!
**[17:12] Tae**
Just forget about it.
**[17:14] Tae**
Why not have a drink with me?
**[17:17] Man**
Oh, Pony-chan?
**[17:19] Man**
You prefer this guy over Gori-san?
**[17:23] Tae**
I'll pour the sake for you.
**[17:25] Man**
That's nice. Quite a pretty picture.
**[17:27] Man**
You two look great together.
**[17:32] Gin**
You think?
**[17:33] Tae**
Do you come to this place often?
**[17:36] Gin**
No, this is my first time here.
**[17:39] Gin**
Uh, does P-Pony-ch...
**[17:41] Gin**
Does Pony-sama come
here to complain often?
**[17:45] Man**
It's been this long I'd say.
**[17:46] Gin**
Ah, five times.
**[17:48] Gin**
That's more than what I was expecting...
**[17:50] Man**
She's been coming here for five years.
**[17:52] Gin**
Holy cow!
**[17:53] Gin**
How much pent-up hate does she have?!
**[17:55] Gin**
How much complaining has she done?!
**[17:58] Man**
The first time was when she came along
**[17:59] ---**
with her late father long ago,
**[18:01] ---**
who often came here to complain.
**[18:05] Gin**
A bona-fide whinery!
**[18:07] Gin**
A whinery specialist!
**[18:08] Man**
She's been through a lot, though
she may not look that way.
**[18:11] Man**
She lost her parents when she was young
**[18:13] Man**
and she's watched over her little
brother by herself this whole time.
**[18:17] Man**
That little brother is the problem.
**[18:20] Man**
Most of her complaining these days
is about that little brother.
**[18:23] Gin**
Ah, he must be an undependable
little brother.
**[18:27] Gin**
I can already picture it.
**[18:29] Gin**
Glasses and that whole package.
**[18:31] Man**
Oh, the problem isn't with her brother
**[18:33] ---**
but with the people around him.
**[18:36] Man**
Her brother seems to have
joined a bad bunch of people.
**[18:39] Man**
Pony-chan, what was it about
that permanently white-haired,
**[18:42] ---**
always broke, and irresponsible...
**[18:44] Tae**
Smegma Samurai.
**[18:46] Man**
Ah, that's it.
**[18:47] Man**
Smeggy Sammy.
**[18:48] Gin**
Uh, is there really a
need to abbreviate it?
**[18:50] Gin**
Isn't that a little too cruel?
**[18:52] Man**
Her brother's gotten
weird ever since he
**[18:56] ---**
started working for Smeggy Sammy.
**[18:59] Man**
Tissues all over the place in his room.
**[19:03] Man**
Washing his underwear by
himself in the morning.
**[19:06] Man**
He didn't used to be that way.
**[19:09] Gin**
That's got nothing to
do with Smeggy Sammy.
**[19:11] Gin**
That's a part of nature.
**[19:13] Tae**
Oh? Really?
**[19:14] Tae**
What kind of nature would this be?
**[19:16] Gin**
Well, I'm sure that Smeggy Sammy
is working hard in his own way.
**[19:20] Gin**
The fact that the brother follows
him when he has no money
**[19:23] Gin**
shows how much he cares
for the brother...
**[19:26] Tae**
What could you possibly
know about Smeggy Sammy?
**[19:28] Gin**
I know more than you do!
**[19:30] Gin**
I understand Smeggy Sammy 100%!
**[19:33] Man**
Well, she keeps complaining
about how she can't
**[19:36] ---**
do anything about Smeggy Sammy these days.
**[19:39] Man**
Well, it might be considered
plotting instead of complaining.
**[19:42] Gin**
What do you mean by plotting?
**[19:44] Gin**
That sounds really scary...
**[19:46] Man**
Well, he seems to be very skillful,
**[19:49] ---**
so she has to create her own opening.
**[19:51] Man**
Like letting him drink until
he's completely smashed.
**[19:54] Gin**
Hey!
**[19:55] Gin**
What are you two plotting?!
**[19:56] Gin**
What are you going to
do to Smeggy Sammy?!
**[19:58] Tae**
Oh, the green onion I bought is gone.
**[20:01] Tae**
Excuse me, I need to go buy another one.
**[20:04] Gin**
She just went to procure a weapon!
**[20:06] Gin**
It was her!
**[20:08] Gin**
She's going to leave a green onion
sticking out of Smeggy Sammy's back!
**[20:11] Gin**
O-Old man, I just remembered
something I have to take care of.
**[20:14] Gin**
I'll leave the money here.
**[20:15] Man**
Ah, hold on, big guy.
**[20:18] ---**
What?
**[20:19] Man**
I have something to tell you.
**[20:22] Man**
I've been listening to people
complain for decades.
**[20:25] Man**
I've heard thousands, tens
of thousands of complaints.
**[20:30] Man**
Badmouthing people, problems at
work, stuff that gets you down.
**[20:34] Man**
But I was able to bear
it all for decades.
**[20:40] Man**
That's because there's love
behind every complaint.
**[20:43] Man**
Why won't things go my way when
I'm working so hard at my job?
**[20:48] Man**
That's how it was with
those other guys, right?
**[20:50] Man**
Complaints are just an expression of
love when something doesn't go your way.
**[20:56] Man**
Like a form of bragging.
**[21:00] Man**
You should understand what
I'm trying to say, big guy.
**[21:03] Man**
No, Smegma Samurai.
**[21:06] Man**
Take good care of Pony-chan.
**[21:15] Tae**
Oh? He already closed.
**[21:18] Gin**
Y-Yeah, something came up.
**[21:23] Tae**
I see.
**[21:26] Gin**
Wanna get a drink?
**[21:28] Tae**
Huh?
**[21:29] Gin**
I'm saying that if you still
wanna drink, I'll tag along.
**[21:34] Tae**
Are you sure?
**[21:39] Tae**
You may have to listen to
my complaints until morning.
**[21:45] Gin**
That's fine.
**[21:54] Gin**
Since I understand the true
meaning of a complaint.
**[22:02] Kondo**
Wait!
**[22:03] Kondo**
I won't forgive you for
holding hands with Pony-chan!
**[22:06] Hijikata**
Gori-san! Don't force yourself!
**[22:08] Hijikata**
The green onion's still in your back!
**[22:17] Gin**
Who was that?
**[22:18] ---**
***SIGN*** The second movie will be released in 2013!!
Sorachi Hideaki will be writing a completely new story
**[23:51] ---**
The second movie will
be released in 2013.
***SIGN*** DEADLINE!!
**[23:54] ---**
Hey, gorilla!
**[23:55] ---**
Stop celebrating about the
bananas you got last week!
**[23:57] ---**
If you don't get to work,
the movie's going to have
**[23:59] ---**
to have a bunch of cheap
live action segments too!
**[24:01] ---**
They'll have Mogi Kenichiro
playing Gin-san!
**[24:03] ---**
Ew, that stinks!