E249 - Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Shinpachi Shimura     Visits the World [00:01] Shin     Oh, hello. This is Shinpachi Shimura. [00:03] Shin     The Odd Jobs member who hasn't     been on screen for a month. [00:08] Shin     In this show, I usually     play a straight man. SIGN    Filmed in Tokyo [00:18] Shin     Hey! [00:19] Shin     Cut it out! [00:21] Shin     This is supposed to be anime! [00:22] Shin     It's been weeks since my last appearance! [00:23] ---     You could at least draw me! [00:25] Shin     I'm easier to draw than the     pattern on Gin-san's clothes! [00:27] Shin     I take less lines to draw     than the Shinsengumi uniform! [00:30] Shin     When did I go from someone recognized     by his glasses to just glasses! [00:34] Gin     Well, at least you aren't     recognized by your nipples. [00:36] Shin     There aren't any Jump characters     recognized by their nipples! [00:38] Shin     And there never will be! [00:39] Shin     This doesn't count as     a live-action segment! [00:41] Shin     The only thing glasses and nipples [00:42] ---     have in common is the fact     that they come in pairs! [00:46] Kagura     You finally get some screen     time and all you do is blab. [00:50] Shin     That's not my fault! [00:51] Shin     How am I supposed to stay quiet?! [00:53] Shin     Hey! Hold on! [00:54] Shin     It's been a while, so     let me rant some more! SIGN    The End Glasses provided by Animate Costume Museum ACOS [02:29] Ana     Today will be the coldest     day yet this winter. [02:33] Ana     Make sure you dress warmly [02:36] ---     so you don't catch a     cold before Christmas. [02:38] Gin     You got it! [02:39] Ana     Please have a wonderful day! [02:43] Gin     I will! [02:44] Kagura     Go find work, you bum. [02:47] Shin     Gin-san, it's a little early for you     to be making so much noise over there. [02:51] Gin     Ana Ketsuno is talking to me. [02:53] ---     I can't just ignore her. [02:55] Kagura     He's been like this ever     since that Onmyoji mess. [02:58] Kagura     He thinks that Ana Ketsuno is     talking to him through the TV. [03:02] Kagura     That smile is for me. [03:04] ---     Her words are for me. [03:06] Kagura     He's out of his mind. [03:08] Shin     Hey, you sound like a pathetic fan. [03:11] Shin     That's the kind of stuff stalkers say. [03:14] Gin     But she was looking at me. [03:17] Gin     What do you want me to do? [03:18] Kagura     Are you stupid? [03:20] Kagura     She's not going to fall for you     because you helped out once. [03:23] Kagura     TV personalities go out     with baseball players [03:27] Kagura     and have shotgun marriages     with J Leaguers. [03:29] Kagura     They're brutal athletes who     chase more balls than the players. [03:33] Kagura     They wouldn't be interested     in your dirty balls. [03:36] Gin     Ana Ketsuno is different! [03:38] Gin     She's as stoic as the pit traps     in the Road to Rhone, you idiot! [03:45] Ana     It's time for today's black horoscope! [03:48] Ana     Today's lucky sign is [03:50] Ana     Libra. [03:53] Ana     Yes, you with the curly hair, dumb face, [03:56] ---     and a toothbrush in your mouth. [03:58] Gin     H-Hey, look! [03:59] Gin     She's talking about me! [04:00] Gin     Who else could she mean?! [04:02] Ana     You just might receive a     wonderful present today. [04:05] Ana     Something good will come. [04:06] Gin     P-Present? [04:08] Gin     Like a love, love letter? [04:11] Ana     And your lucky item is a bright red... [04:15] Gin     Bright red? [04:18] Gedo     Club. [04:21] Gin     Saber! [04:25] Shin     Y-You're... [04:28] Gedo     It's been a while, Gintoki-sama. [04:31] Shin     Gedomaru-san! SIGN    Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose [04:39] Gin     Uh... [04:41] Gin     So what? [04:42] Gin     You're the wonderful present? [04:45] Gedo     I'm not a present. [04:47] Gedo     I have merely returned. [04:49] Gedo     As I said before, the pact     makes you my other master. [04:55] Gedo     I have merely come back to where I belong. [04:58] Gedo     Please make yourself at home. [05:02] Gin     Uh, that's what your master     is supposed to say! [05:04] Gedo     Oh, were you having breakfast? [05:07] Gedo     Sorry, now it looks like     I'm here for a free meal. [05:12] Gedo     Then I'll help myself. [05:15] Gin     That's not breakfast! [05:16] Gin     Why are you here?! [05:18] Gin     How is this a wonderful present?! [05:20] Gin     This is like Zombie Express. [05:22] Kagura     Gin-chan, who is she? [05:24] Shin     Huh? You don't remember her? [05:27] Shin     This is the shikigami Gedomaru-san. [05:30] Shin     You just mentioned the battle [05:32] Shin     between Ana Ketsuno's family, the     Ketsuno clan, and the Shirino clan. [05:37] Shin     This is Ana Ketsuno's shikigami     who fought alongside Gin-chan. [05:40] Kagura     Oh, she's that one girl. [05:42] Kagura     There was a lot happening near     the end of the first season, [05:46] ---     so I forgot about her. [05:48] Shin     What's that?! [05:49] Shin     That sounds like something one of the [05:51] ---     staff members on this show would say! [05:55] Kagura     This is all I really     remember from that arc. [05:57] Shin     That dumb joke?! [05:58] Kagura     So why is a character     from the first season [06:00] Kagura     showing up around the same     time two years later. [06:03] Gin     She probably tried to sneak in an     appearance since we're busy again. [06:08] Gin     Nobody invited you here. [06:09] Gin     Pay me for the damage to the TV and scram! [06:11] Gin     That's an order! [06:14] Gedo     Then... [06:15] Gedo     Please sign here and then we can SIGN    Shikigami Divorce Gedomaru Gintoki Sakata [06:17] ---     let our lawyers work out the details. [06:19] Gedo     How does two hundred million     sound as a settlement? [06:21] Gedo     It's not easy for a shikigami     who's been divorced. [06:25] Gin     Why are you making it sound     like this is a marriage?! [06:27] Gin     Is this some kind of new scam?! [06:29] Gedo     That's too bad. [06:32] Gedo     I came here to make Christel-sama happy. [06:35] Gedo     Sigh, if you had cooperated, [06:38] ---     Christel-sama would have fallen     head over heels for you. [06:42] Gin     H-Hold on! [06:43] Gin     What did you just say? [06:45] Gin     Hey! Wait up! [06:46] Gin     Please wait, my master! [06:51] Gin     Huh? [06:52] Gin     A Christmas present? [06:55] Gedo     That's right. [06:57] Gedo     We shikigami wish to give     our master a present [07:01] ---     to show our appreciation. [07:03] Shin     Shikigami?! Isn't that     the wrong religion?! [07:06] Shin     And aren't demons supposed     to be anti-Christmas?! [07:10] Kagura     Don't bring that up, Shinpachi. [07:13] Shin     Huh? Really? [07:14] Kagura     First, you should mention how this is a     weird time to air a Christmas episode. [07:18] Kagura     They should have used Valentine's     or White Day instead. [07:22] Shin     You weren't supposed to say that! [07:23] Shin     Everybody knows that Jump and the     anime are on different schedules! [07:27] Shin     We aired a Christmas episode     in March two years ago! [07:31] Shin     And when the second season started, [07:33] ---     we aired a New Year's episode in April! [07:35] Shin     Anyway, enough about Christmas. [07:38] ---     What's the problem? [07:40] Gedo     As you already know, I     am a combat shikigami. [07:44] Gedo     I don't know what present     will make her happy. [07:48] Gedo     So... [07:50] Gin     I see. [07:51] Gin     So you wanted advice from     the natural playboy Gin-san. [07:56] Shin     Gedomaru-san, he spends his time     playing pachinko by himself. [08:01] Gin     Well, in that case, I'm     willing to help you out, [08:05] Gin     but what do I get out of it? [08:07] Gedo     I'll hand your present to Christel-sama too. [08:11] Gin     Aha! That works! [08:13] Gin     Hey, I thought you were     just a rotten joke, [08:16] ---     but you have a sweet side. [08:18] Kagura     I'm impressed. You can be cute. [08:21] Gedo     It's like watching Gian     in Doraemon movies. [08:24] Gedo     One day of agony and [08:26] ---     the other 364 days of     tyranny are forgiven. [08:30] Shin     She's rotten to the core! [08:33] Shin     Oh, well. [08:34] Shin     Let's get going then! [08:36] Shin     I'll buy something for Sis! [08:37] Kagura     Hey, that's no fair! [08:39] Kagura     Gin-chan, please buy me something! SIGN    Santa Festival [08:42] Kagura     Hey, there's a Santa Festival over there! [08:45] Shin     I'm sure we'll find some wonderful     presents there, Gedomaru-san! [08:48] Shin     What are you two doing? Hurry up! [09:00] A     Lombroso. [09:15] Gedo     What's wrong, you guys? [09:17] Shin     Uh, well... [09:19] Shin     I thought we were heading     towards a Santa Festival? [09:23] Shin     I could have sworn there was a Santa     Festival here a few seconds ago. SIGN    Satan Festival [09:29] Both     Huh? [09:30] Gedo     Oh, you must have read the sign wrong! [09:33] Shin     The hell we did! [09:34] Shin     When did Santa turn into Satan?! [09:37] Shin     Where did all these evil     creatures come from?! [09:39] Shin     This is like an anti-Christmas pow-wow! [09:43] Gedo     It appears after sensing my vast power, [09:46] Gedo     they broke through the barrier     and opened the gates. [09:49] Gedo     We are currently standing where     the Santa Festival is being held, [09:53] Gedo     but we are in a completely     different dimension. [09:56] Gedo     The demon world. SIGN    Beware of pets! [09:57] Shin     This show is turning into     a different anime again! [10:00] Gin     Pachi-boy, check it out. [10:02] Gin     They mixed up Christmas and Halloween. [10:05] Shin     Mixed them up?! [10:06] Shin     They're the real deal! SIGN    Satan Festival [10:08] Shin     We've ended up in a Satan Festival     instead of a Santa Festival! [10:11] Shin     We don't have time to look     for Christmas presents! [10:14] Kagura     Does it even matter? [10:15] Kagura     It's like the difference     between Hagiwara and Ogiwara. [10:17] Shin     They're completely different! [10:19] Gin     Santa and Satan. [10:20] Gin     One brings dreams, the     other brings despair. [10:24] Gin     They're more or less the same. [10:25] Shin     They're not the same! [10:26] Shin     If you consider them similar,     everything's similar! SIGN    Roast Minotaur [10:28] Kagura     I want some minotaur! [10:30] Gedo     As expected, Gintoki-sama     does not fear any devil. [10:34] Shin     Don't just admire him! [10:35] Shin     We're in trouble! [10:36] Shin     We can leave, right?! [10:38] Shin     We're safe, right?! [10:39] Gedo     Actually, the foreign devils     have been invading our turf, [10:41] Gedo     much like what is happening     in the real world. [10:44] Gedo     Satan's getting a little cocky.     I should teach him a lesson. [10:48] Shin     Stop it! That's not our style! [10:49] Shin     Let Jump Square handle that! [10:52] Gedo     You're right. [10:53] ---     But we might find a good present here. [10:56] Shin     It seems rather inconsiderate to purchase [10:58] ---     a Christmas present in the demon world! [11:00] Gedo     Darkness makes light brighter! [11:04] Shin     There's only darkness here! [11:05] Shin     Right now, our futures and your     character are completely dark! [11:08] Kagura     Hey, Gedomaru. How's this? [11:12] Kagura     We can give it to Ana Ketsuno. [11:13] Shin     We're looking for a Christmas present! [11:16] Kagura     But it's a cross. [11:17] Shin     With a monster impaled on it! [11:20] Fra     I'm not a cross. [11:22] Fra     I'm Frankenfurt. [11:24] Fra     I keep evil spirits away. [11:25] Shin     What's a Frankenfurt?! [11:27] Shin     How can you keep evil spirits     away when you're an evil spirit?! [11:29] Gedo     Mind if I test it? [11:32] Fra     Oh, go ahead. [11:37] Gedo     No good. [11:38] Gedo     It couldn't keep me away. [11:40] Gedo     Next. [11:41] Shin     What kind of test was that?! [11:42] Kagura     How about this then? [11:44] Kagura     Ana Ketsuno won't have any trouble     on her demon day of the month. [11:47] Shin     Why?! Why would you buy     demon goods for Christmas?! [11:50] Shin     And what is her demon day of the month?! [11:52] A     This is a hot item right now. [11:54] A     That demon has the smile of an angel. [11:56] Shin     You're a demon for trying to buy     this as a Christmas present! [12:01] Gedo     Mind if I test it? [12:03] A     Oh, go ahead. [12:04] Shin     How are you going to test it?! [12:09] Gedo     No good. [12:11] Gedo     It couldn't beat the weight. [12:13] Gedo     Next. [12:14] Shin     You're missing the point! [12:15] Gin     Hey, Gedomaru. [12:17] Gin     How about this? [12:18] Gin     For Ana Ketsuno. [12:21] Shin     All that does is wash her ass! [12:23] Gin     No, that's not all it does. [12:25] Shin     That wouldn't even hit anything! [12:27] Shin     What happened to Christmas?! [12:30] Gin     She'll feel refreshed     after washing her ass. [12:33] Shin     How will that bring a Merry Christmas?! [12:34] A     Big guy, this here is an     acid shower toilet that can [12:38] ---     wash away any fucking shit. [12:40] Shin     Do you people think Ana     Ketsuno has a dirty ass? [12:43] Gedo     That looks dangerous,     so mind if I test it? [12:46] Shin     You should stop. You should     stop, Gedomaru-san. [12:51] Gedo     Okay, next. [12:52] Shin     You didn't even test it! [13:15] Gin     It's not easy to find a     present for Ana Ketsuno. [13:20] Shin     Uh, let's just forget about Ana Ketsuno. [13:24] Shin     We should also forget about Christmas. [13:26] Shin     We really don't have time for this. [13:28] Gin     You keep complaining. [13:30] Gin     Help us look, Pachi-boy. [13:31] Shin     Uh, I'm busy playing the straight man. [13:34] Kagura     Shinpachi, do you know what     people who watch Gintama [13:36] Kagura     in countries that don't follow the     concept of straight men say about you? [13:40] Kagura     Why does that glasses     kid keep yapping away? [13:42] Shin     Which country is that?! [13:44] Shin     You people don't realize     how important my role is! [13:46] Kagura     If you're mad, find a different     way to distinguish yourself. [13:50] Shin     Okay, but we're stuck     in the demon world... [13:52] Shin     Oh, excuse me. [13:54] Shin     Oops, my lips just brushed     against someone else's lips. [13:58] Gin     What are you doing, Shinpachi? [13:59] ---     That's just merchandise. [14:01] Kagura     What are those? They're gross. [14:04] Gin     They look kind of familiar... [14:07] Gin     Hey, Shinpachi. [14:16] Shin     Pa... [14:17] Shin     Pandemonium-san. [14:23] Pan     I-It can't be... [14:26] Shin     Why are you here? [14:30] Shin     You disappeared before my eyes... [14:36] Shin     How can you be here? [14:38] Pan     Sh-Shinpachi-kun... [14:42] Shin     Pandemonium-san... [14:45] Shin     Pandemonium-san! [14:48] Pan     Sh-Shinpachi-kun! [14:56] Shin     Why?! [14:58] Gedo     Well, you were acting so stupid     that I couldn't help myself. [15:01] Shin     I'm gonna kill you, bitch! [15:03] Shin     Give her back! [15:04] Shin     Give me back my Pandemonium-san! [15:06] Gedo     Um, excuse me. SIGN    Yummy Pandemonium [15:07] Gedo     Can I get a Pandemonium? [15:10] Gedo     I'm sure that everyone's hungry. [15:12] Shin     You're going to eat her?! [15:17] Shin     She did it... [15:19] Shin     She ate her right before my eyes. [15:29] Gedo     It's not easy to find a present. [15:33] Gedo     I never thought that giving someone     something was so difficult. [15:38] Gedo     This shows that I'm a heartless creature. [15:41] Gedo     It was too early for     me to try to be human. [15:45] Kagura     Hey, get a hold of yourself. [15:47] Kagura     Aren't you trying to be a movie Gian? [15:49] Kagura     The point is that a heartless bastard [15:50] ---     like you is even bothering     to find a present. [15:52] Shin     Are you trying to make     her feel better or worse? [15:54] Gin     How's this sound? [15:55] ---     Let's try looking for something     you want for a while. [15:59] Gedo     Huh? [16:00] Gin     You won't get anywhere wondering     what she might like. [16:04] Gin     So start by thinking about what     you would like as a present. [16:09] Gedo     But Christel-sama and I     have different tastes... [16:11] Gin     Just choose something. [16:22] Gedo     Then I choose this. [16:29] Shin     Uh, what are we going to do, Gin-san? [16:31] Shin     What is that? [16:32] Kagura     Oh, it's a hair ornament. [16:34] Shin     A hair ornament? [16:35] Shin     More like what used to     be under someone's hair. [16:38] Gin     Would you be happy if     someone gave that to you? [16:50] Gedo     No, any present from Christel-sama     would make me happy. [16:54] Gin     There you have it. [16:57] Gin     Hey, pops. I'll take     this snappy headdress. [16:59] Shin     Hey, Gin-san! [17:04] Gin     Two of them. [17:05] Gin     I'm also buying one,     so give me a discount. [17:07] Gin     If she doesn't like it, I'll blame you. [17:10] Gin     Make sure you give her     that one so you match. [17:16] A     Sorry, big guy. I can't sell that to you. [17:19] Gin     Huh? [17:21] A     I don't sell anything to humans. [17:24] A     But I can throw together     some cheap ornaments... [17:28] A     ...from your skulls! [17:37] A     This is brilliant! [17:39] A     Some humans ended up here. [17:42] B     Their skulls should fetch a pretty penny. [17:44] C     I want their arms. [17:45] D     I want their heads. [17:47] E     I want their nails! [17:55] Shin     Gin-san! What do we do?! [18:12] Gedo     Oh, he was right. [18:15] Gedo     A free hair ornament. [18:17] Shin     I can't tell who's the bad guy here! [18:20] A     I-Impossible! [18:22] A     There's a Japanese demon with them! [18:24] A     A crazy one! [18:25] B     She's a devil-class! [18:26] C     H-Hurry! Call for Lord Satan! [18:29] D     A Japanese devil is invading! [18:31] D     This is war! [18:38] Gin     Gedomaru... [18:40] Gedo     I'm sorry about dragging you into this. [18:45] Gedo     But I'm glad. [18:48] Gedo     Now I understand why humans give presents. [18:56] Gedo     I thought it would be a chore,     but it wasn't too bad. [19:01] Gedo     Next time, I'll choose my present myself [19:05] Gedo     since I now know that it's     meaningless otherwise. [19:10] Gedo     Gintoki-sama, I was the one who received [19:14] ---     a wonderful present today. [19:18] Gedo     Until we meet again. [19:28] Shin     Huh? [19:29] Shin     Wait a sec. [19:30] C     There they are! They're     the ones, Lord Satan! SIGN    Satan Festival [19:33] Shin     Wait! Hey! Take us with you! SIGN    Santa Festival [19:42] Ana     Today will be the coldest     day yet this winter. SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose [19:46] Ana     The cold isn't going away, so     make sure you don't catch a cold. [19:50] Ana     Christmas may be over, but     you want to stay vigilant. [19:54] Ana     Make sure you dress warmly     when you go outside. SIGN    For my master. [19:59] Ana     Have a wonderful day. [20:03] Ana     Be careful! [20:05] Both     We will! SIGN    Pandemonium in the Air [22:01] Shin     Pandemonium-san... [22:03] Shin     Will I ever see you again? [22:06] Shin     Pandemonium-san... [22:08] Shin     I would give anything to see you     one more time, Pandemonium-san... [22:12] Kagura     Gin-chan, it looks like Shinpachi [22:14] ---     left his soul back in the demon world. [22:17] Gin     Once he notices the women around him [22:20] Gin     instead of focusing on the     woman he can never have, [22:22] Gin     he'll man up. [22:24] Kagura     Do you mean me? That's gross. [22:27] Gin     No, you're out of the question. [22:28] Kagura     But it can't be that easy to find someone. [22:33] Kagura     We're talking about Shinpachi here. [22:34] Gin     Fine, I'll lend a hand then. [22:37] Shin     -Pandemonium-san... [22:37] Pan     -I wanted to see you... [22:40] Shin     -Pandemonium-san... [22:40] Pan     -I wanted to see you... [22:42] Pan     I wanted to see you... [22:44] Shin     That voice... [22:45] Shin     P-Pandemonium-san... [22:48] Shin     Huh? [22:50] Shin     She looks different... [22:51] Pan     I wanted to see you... [22:52] Pan     I wanted to see you... [22:54] Pan     I wanted to see you... [22:55] Pan     Yes! [22:56] Pan     We Pandemoniums have come to see you. [23:00] Pan     PDN48! [23:04] Gin     Lucky you, Sakaguchi-san. [23:14] Kagura     Lucky you. [23:16] Shin     Yes! SIGN    The End SIGN    Next Time [23:20] Kagura     Hey, Gin-chan. [23:21] Kagura     What's inside a New Year's envelope? [23:23] Kagura     Do you know? [23:24] Kagura     Do I get an envelope? [23:26] Gin     Uh... SIGN    New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes [23:28] Gin     Next time: [23:28] Gin     New Year's envelopes are     perfect for dirty jokes. [23:31] Kagura     Um, that doesn't answer my question. SIGN    This episode was about Christmas, so the next one has to be about New Year's!! SIGN    After some anguish... Kagura finally receives her envelope?