E248 - Madaodog Madaonaire

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    2012 Kabuki District
SIGN    Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire
[01:46] N
    Taizo Hasegawa.
[01:49] N
    He's one question away from becoming a Madaonaire.
[01:52] N
    Why did he choose to continue?
[01:54] N
    A: Because he wears sunglasses.
[01:57] N
    B: Because he has no job.
[01:59] N
    C: Because this show is rigged.
[02:02] N
    D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN    Madaodog Madaonaire
[02:11] A
    Hasegawa!
[02:13] A
    Hasegawa!
[02:14] A
    Hasegawa, it's headed your way!
[02:18] B
    Catch it!
[02:21] B
    You better catch it!
[02:26] C
    How could you drop it?!
[02:29] A
    Hey! It's you kids again!
[02:32] B
    The guards are here!
[02:35] A
    Wait up!
[02:51] Nomi
    Middle-aged dumb-ass oldies,
[02:53] Nomi
    also known as Madaos!
[02:55] Nomi
    Do you want another chance at life?!
[03:00] Nomi
    Do you want to climb up the ladder?!
[03:04] Nomi
    Do you have the courage to fight back?!
[03:10] Nomi
    This is the show for saving middle-aged dumb-ass oldies!
[03:13] Nomi
    Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
[03:19] Nomi
    Hello. I am your host, Nomi.
[03:24] Nomi
    The Madao who makes it to the very end of the game
[03:30] Nomi
    will receive ten million!
[03:33] Nomi
    Which Madao will walk away with the money, into a brand new life?
[03:36] Nomi
    Which of the many Madaos in Edo has been given a chance?
[03:41] Nomi
    Come on down!
[03:43] Nomi
    Middle-aged darn-amazing oldie!
[03:49] Nomi
    Our first contestant lives
[03:51] ---
    on a bench next to the Kabuki District, Hasegawa Taizo-san.
[03:56] Nomi
    38 years old. Unemployed.
[04:00] Madao
    Ow!
[04:03] Nomi
    It's a pleasure, Hasegawa-san.
[04:06] Madao
    Why am I here?
[04:09] Madao
    That's what I want to know.
[04:11] Madao
    When I woke up, I was lying in the middle
[04:13] ---
    of a dump like a worn-out rag.
[04:16] Madao
    All I could remember was that I had lost everything,
[04:19] ---
    that I was trash...
[04:21] Madao
    But I held something in my clenched fist!
SIGN    Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
    Golden Ticket
    A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
[04:26] Madao
    A single ray of light in this filthy dump.
[04:30] Madao
    Where did it come from?
[04:32] Madao
    I couldn't remember, but I followed the light here.
[04:38] Madao
    There's one thing I could remember clearly.
[04:42] Madao
    My thirst for the ten million.
[04:46] Madao
    I'm going to take advantage of this last chance I've been given
[04:51] Madao
    and climb out of the garbage heap!
[04:55] Nomi
    And so, our contestant was a respectable public servant,
[04:58] Nomi
    but then he lost his job, lost his wife, and now he's a Madao!
[05:02] Nomi
    Will he be able to claim the ten million and start anew?
[05:07] Nomi
    His fate rests upon this game show!
[05:11] Nomi
    His quest for the ten million begins with the first question for one hundred thousand!
[05:16] Nomi
    First question!
[05:18] Nomi
    What was the nickname given to the eighth Tokugawa shogun,
[05:22] Nomi
    Yoshimune, who introduced the Kyoho reforms?
[05:25] N
    A: Tyrant Shogun
[05:27] N
    B: Winter Shogun
[05:28] N
    C: Rice Shogun
[05:30] N
    D: Money Shogun
[05:31] Madao
    Uh...
[05:32] Madao
    This sounds really familiar!
[05:36] Madao
    But I can't remember!
[05:37] Madao
    Where have I heard this before?!
[05:38] Madao
    Search my memories!
SIGN    Temple School
[05:43] Madao
    It was...
[05:44] Madao
    It was when...
[05:45] A
    And these were the Kyoho reforms.
SIGN    New wage system Rice contributions Tax policy
[05:49] A
    After introducing these reforms, Yoshimune became known as...
[05:52] Madao
    Oh, that's it!
[05:54] Madao
    I learned about this in class at temple school!
[05:56] A
    Hm, Hasegawa, answer this question.
[05:58] A
    What was Yoshimune known as?
[06:00] Madao
    He called on me!
[06:02] Madao
    D-Does the young me know the answer?
SIGN    History
[06:04] Boy
    U-Uh...
[06:06] Madao
    It's over! He's eating his lunch!
[06:09] Madao
    He wasn't even listening to the teacher!
[06:11] Madao
    Damn, how am I supposed to know the answer?
[06:13] Boy
    Uh...
[06:18] Madao
    Huh?
[06:19] Madao
    Who's this cute girl?
[06:21] Madao
    I don't remember her sitting next to me.
[06:25] A
    You have rice on your face.
[06:28] A
    Correct.
[06:29] A
    He was known as the Rice Shogun, just like you.
[06:33] Madao
    Yeah, he's the Rice Shogun!
[06:36] Madao
    And I don't recall experiencing this bittersweet episode?
[06:40] Madao
    I sat next to this cute girl?
[06:43] Madao
    Who is she?
[06:45] Madao
    I can't remember.
[06:46] Madao
    Can't remember her name or anything...
[06:49] Boy
    Teacher, there's an old man struggling outside!
[06:53] A
    Stop him!
SIGN    C: Rice Shogun.
[06:56] Madao
    I'm over there?!
[06:58] Nomi
    Correct!
[06:59] Nomi
    The answer is C: Rice Shogun!
[07:01] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san gets his hundred thousand!
[07:05] Nomi
    Oh, Hasegawa-san?
[07:06] Nomi
    Are you unhappy about answering correctly?
[07:09] Madao
    No wonder I couldn't remember her name.
[07:11] Madao
    I was watching the scene from a completely different place.
[07:14] Madao
    That brought back some bad memories...
[07:16] Nomi
    Next, we'll move on to the question for five hundred thousand!
[07:22] Madao
    The battle's just begun!
[07:24] Madao
    Pull yourself together!
[07:25] Madao
    I don't have time to mope around!
[07:28] Nomi
    Second question!
[07:29] Nomi
    In the Battle of Sekigahara,
[07:32] Nomi
    which general betrayed the western army
[07:33] Nomi
    and ensured the eastern army's victory?
[07:35] N
    A: Tokunaga Hideaki
[07:37] N
    B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
[07:39] N
    C: Takizawa Hideaki
[07:41] N
    D: Sorachi Hideaki
[07:42] Madao
    Uh...
[07:44] Madao
    I think I've heard this one before, too!
[07:46] Madao
    Where?!
[07:47] Madao
    Where did I hear it?!
[07:48] Madao
    Try to remember!
[07:51] Madao
    It was when...
[07:54] A
    I see. Then we'll take a vote.
SIGN    Life Lessons
[07:57] Madao
    Yes! This was definitely something I learned at temple school!
[08:00] Madao
    I'm sure of it!
[08:01] A
    Will you eat the piggy yourselves,
[08:03] ---
    or will you feed it to the lion?
[08:06] A
    As you were the ones who raised him, you must decide yourselves.
[08:09] Madao
    That's a pretty brutal life lesson!
[08:11] B
    Teacher! We can't do it!
[08:13] Madao
    Of course!
[08:14] B
    We like steak more than pork chops!
[08:17] Madao
    That's why you're crying?!
[08:19] C
    Yeah! I'm sure lions like beef more than pork!
[08:23] Madao
    What are they supposed to be learning here?
[08:26] Madao
    Oh, I remember raising various animals at temple school.
[08:31] Madao
    I learned many difficult life lessons that
[08:34] ---
    I've completely forgotten.
[08:36] B
    At the moment, the vote is evenly split.
[08:38] B
    Oh, Hasegawa.
[08:40] B
    What's your vote?
[08:42] Madao
    Hm? Me?
[08:44] Madao
    Which side did I choose?
[08:46] Madao
    Please spare me!
[08:49] Madao
    That's my final answer!
[08:51] A
    How can you betray us at the last second?!
[08:54] B
    Are you supposed to be Kobayakawa Hideaki?!
SIGN    B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
[08:58] Madao
    They were raising a bum, not a pig.
SIGN    Off seven days a week.
[09:01] Nomi
    Correct!
[09:02] Nomi
    The five hundred thousand yen is yours!
[09:05] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san is advancing towards the prize!
[09:08] Nomi
    Yet he looks to be upset every time he gives a correct answer.
[09:13] Madao
    I-I was going to do some hanging around,
[09:17] Madao
    when someone stopped me and made me a pet.
SIGN    Chicken   Pig    Rabbit
[09:20] Madao
    But I never expected to be used in a lesson for kids.
[09:24] Madao
    Well, I was doomed to die either way.
[09:28] Madao
    B-But every time I reflect upon my memories,
[09:31] ---
    I uncover another hidden trauma.
[09:34] Madao
    I climb towards the light in the future,
[09:37] Madao
    but the darkness in my past drags me down.
[09:40] Madao
    Don't try to stop me!
[09:43] Madao
    The ten million yen will be mine!
[09:49] Nomi
    That brings us to the third question, for one million yen!
[09:53] Nomi
    These Shock Stickers are all the rage in Edo right now!
[09:56] Nomi
    Which of the following characters has their hair parted 7:3?
[10:00] N
    A: Little Fatty
[10:01] Madao
    He suddenly switched categories!
[10:01] N
    B: Cool Body Fat
[10:03] N
    C: Fried Chicken Angel
[10:03] Madao
    I-I won't be able to search my life for the answer to this question!
[10:06] N
    D: Super Glasses
[10:07] Madao
    Wait, is there an answer inside me?
[10:11] Madao
    Even when I've never heard these names before?
[10:15] Chi
    Sorry, Piggy.
[10:17] Chi
    They're so mean.
[10:19] Chi
    Arguing about whether or not they should eat you after I saved you.
[10:22] Chi
    Something's wrong with them.
[10:23] Chi
    I-It's her.
[10:25] Chi
    The Rice Shogun girl!
[10:27] Chi
    She freed me from the school execution?!
[10:32] Madao
    This is the second time you've saved me.
[10:36] Madao
    Why are you helping me?
[10:40] Chi
    You remind me of my dad.
[10:43] Chi
    My dad used to do a lot of hanging around, the way you do.
[10:47] Chi
    But I would always stop him.
[10:51] Chi
    He ran off, leaving behind his debts.
[10:54] Chi
    Mom and I have no money, but it's okay.
[11:00] Chi
    As long as we know he's still alive,
[11:02] ---
    we can keep on going.
[11:05] Chi
    My dream is to become a massive-asset dat-ass object, or Madao,
SIGN    Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
[11:11] Chi
    and participate in this.
[11:13] Chi
    I'll be able to pay off our debts,
[11:15] Chi
    and Dad might come back after he sees me on TV.
SIGN    A: Dat ass
[11:19] Chi
    So I have to study hard at temple school!
[11:23] Chi
    But if I run into a question I don't know,
[11:29] Chi
    it'll be your turn to save me.
[11:33] Chi
    I'll use a lifeline to call you.
[11:36] Chi
    So please tell me the answer.
[11:42] Madao
    Yes, I made a promise to her.
[11:47] Madao
    But before she had a chance to become a massive-asset
[11:51] Madao
    dat-ass object, or Madao, the phone rang.
[12:00] A
    Hey, it's for you, Hasegawa-san.
[12:02] A
    Someone keeps asking for Piggy.
[12:05] A
    If she knows this number, she must be an acquaintance of yours.
[12:09] Madao
    Huh?
[12:10] A
    I can't understand you if you keep crying.
[12:14] Madao
    Hello?
[12:17] Madao
    Hey, what's wrong? What happened?
[12:19] Chi
    Piggy...
[12:21] Chi
    When I came home from school, Mom was...
[12:23] Chi
    Mom was lying on the floor.
[12:26] Chi
    I keep shaking her, but she won't wake up!
[12:30] Chi
    What should I do?
[12:32] Chi
    Tell me, Piggy... Piggy...
[12:35] Madao
    I failed as her lifeline.
[12:39] Madao
    All I could do was stare at the stickers on the phone.
SIGN    Little Fatty
[12:46] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san chooses A: Little Fatty.
[12:50] Nomi
    Is that your final answer?
[12:55] Hasegawa
    That is my final answer.
[13:08] Nomi
    We'll tell you if he's right after the break!
[13:18] Nomi
    Correct!
[13:20] Nomi
    A: Little Fatty!
[13:21] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san has answered three questions correctly!
[13:23] Nomi
    He's made it to one million yen!
[13:26] Nomi
    Oh! He's fainted!
[13:28] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san has looked pale after every correct answer,
[13:30] ---
    and now he's collapsed!
[13:33] Madao
    H-How could that have happened?
[13:35] Madao
    How could I have forgotten?
[13:39] Madao
    I'm such a Madao.
[13:43] Madao
    No more...
[13:45] Madao
    I don't want to learn how pathetic I am.
[13:49] Madao
    This is where I belong.
[13:52] Madao
    I don't have the right to escape the garbage dump.
[13:54] A
    Hey, are you okay?
[13:57] B
    Take him to the infirmary!
[13:59] Madao
    Don't have... Don't have the right...
[14:04] Madao
    Please give me the next question.
[14:08] Nomi
    He stood up!
[14:09] Nomi
    After fainting and coughing up blood, he continues on!
[14:12] Madao
    I'm okay!
[14:14] Nomi
    He wants the ten million really bad!
[14:17] Madao
    I want the ten million...
[14:19] Madao
    You bet.
[14:20] Madao
    I may have lost my will to live,
[14:22] ---
    but my desire for the ten million remains.
[14:25] A
    This guy's pretty tough.
[14:27] B
    Start making the questions harder.
[14:29] B
    It's time to get rid of him.
[14:30] Madao
    But I no longer know why I want the money or who it's for...
[14:36] Nomi
    Question four!
[14:37] Nomi
    Name this constellation.
[14:39] N
    A: Toilet Minor
[14:40] Madao
    I can't quit until I've figured that out...
[14:41] N
    B: Brave Exkaiser
[14:42] N
    C: Summer Visor
[14:48] Chiharu
    It's so warm inside this cardboard box.
[14:52] Chiharu
    It's like a play castle.
[14:55] Chiharu
    This is fun!
[15:00] Madao
    Was she forcing herself to sound happy,
[15:03] Madao
    or was she actually enjoying herself?
[15:07] Chiharu
    Piggy, I get to sleep while looking up at the stars.
[15:11] Chiharu
    It's like we're camping.
[15:14] Chiharu
    Do you know what that constellation is?
[15:18] Madao
    She was always smiling.
SIGN    A: Toilet Minor
[15:22] Nomi
    Correct!
[15:26] Nomi
    Question five!
[15:27] Nomi
    Which of the following bento is the most popular at 8-11?
[15:31] Madao
    This was all I could manage to do for her...
[15:34] Nomi
    Oh, this is the one that everyone says is really good!
[15:38] Nomi
    It still looks safe to eat.
[15:43] Nomi
    C-Correct!
[15:45] Nomi
    Question six!
[15:46] Nomi
    Which gachapon is very popular with the kids right now?
[15:49] Madao
    Keep looking.
[15:50] Chiharu
    Uh-huh.
[15:52] Chiharu
    Look! This is the one you wanted!
[15:56] Madao
    She always had a smile on her face.
SIGN    A: Kinniguman
[16:00] ---
    Correct!
[16:03] Madao
    I was supposed to be helping her smile,
[16:05] Madao
    but it was the other way around.
[16:09] Chiharu
    Piggy, I've always dreamed about this.
[16:12] Madao
    Huh?
[16:13] Chiharu
    Cooking for Dad when he came home early
[16:18] Chiharu
    and chitchatting.
[16:20] Madao
    Did you call me Dad?!
[16:22] Chiharu
    We might live in a cardboard house
[16:24] ---
    and drink tea from empty cans
[16:26] Chiharu
    while Dad is always home,
[16:28] Chiharu
    but I'm having a lot of fun right now.
[16:32] Chiharu
    This is the first time I've felt at home.
[16:39] Chiharu
    So...
[16:40] Chiharu
    I'll give this to you.
SIGN    Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire? Golden Ticket A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
[16:43] Madao
    Isn't that...
[16:45] Chiharu
    It's okay now.
[16:47] Chiharu
    I got to see Dad...
[16:53] Madao
    Hey!
[16:54] Madao
    Hang in there! Hey!
[16:56] Madao
    Hey!
[16:58] Madao
    Come on!
[16:59] Dad
    I'm terribly sorry.
[17:02] Dad
    I never dreamed that my wife and daughter
[17:05] ---
    would fall ill while I was away.
[17:07] Dad
    I should not have insisted on staying away until I found a proper job.
[17:12] Dad
    I'll find a way to pay their hospital bill...
[17:19] Madao
    Money doesn't matter.
[17:22] Madao
    Who gives a damn if you have debts?
[17:29] Chiharu
    This is the first time I've felt at home.
[17:33] Madao
    It doesn't matter if you live in a dump, as long as you're together.
[17:39] A
    Sorry to interrupt, but we're debt collectors.
[17:45] B
    Don't give me that crap!
[17:48] B
    A piece of shit like you is gonna guarantee their debt?!
[17:53] Madao
    I promise to pay it off.
[17:55] Madao
    So stay away from that family.
[17:57] C
    A bum like you won't have enough money!
[18:01] D
    You know where to get some?
[18:03] Madao
    You bet.
[18:05] Madao
    I've got this piece of paper I dug out of the trash.
[18:08] A
    That's bullshit!
[18:11] Nomi
    Correct!
SIGN    D: Wriggled around
[18:13] Nomi
    Our contestant is on a roll!
[18:14] Nomi
    Answering one question after another!
[18:16] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san has finally reached seven million five hundred thousand yen!
[18:19] Nomi
    He's one question away from ten million!
[18:21] A
    I-Impossible!
[18:22] A
    How was he able to answer that question?!
[18:24] B
    Who is this Madao?!
[18:26] B
    Hey! Find an impossible question to give him!
[18:29] Nomi
    He no longer has a pained expression on his face.
[18:33] Nomi
    What has come over him?!
[18:37] Madao
    Heh, nothing's changed.
[18:39] Madao
    But I've finally remembered.
[18:42] Madao
    I can accept my failures, my pathetic life.
[18:48] Madao
    I realize that I'm a hopeless Madao!
[18:53] Madao
    Since I forgot a very important promise.
[18:57] B
    Use this question!
[18:58] B
    This tiny article in today's paper!
[19:00] B
    I'm positive that Madao hasn't read it!
[19:06] Nomi
    Here is the final question, for ten million yen!
[19:10] Nomi
    This is it!
[19:11] Nomi
    What is the name of the first victim of the new contagious virus,
[19:16] Nomi
    MADAO 49, who was able to make a full recovery
[19:20] ---
    after treatment on another planet?
[19:23] N
    A: Nakajima Tomoko
[19:25] N
    B: Sakurajima Chiharu
[19:27] N
    C: Kato Shizue
[19:29] N
    D: Terashima Kyoko
[19:31] Nomi
    This is a tough one!
[19:33] Nomi
    Can Hasegawa-san answer the question and win ten million yen?!
[19:38] Madao
    Excuse me, can I use a lifeline?
[19:41] Madao
    I'd like to call someone.
[19:42] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san immediately uses a lifeline!
[19:45] Nomi
    But do any of his friends know the answer to this question?!
[20:06] Nomi
    Nobody's picking up.
[20:10] Nomi
    Too bad!
[20:15] Madao
    Yeah, hello?
[20:19] Madao
    Yeah, it's me.
[20:22] Madao
    Sorry about taking so long to call.
[20:25] Madao
    This is...
[20:28] Madao
    This is Piggy's final answer.
[20:36] Madao
    Live a happy life with your mom and dad, Chiharu.
SIGN    B: Sakurajima Chiharu
[20:42] Nomi
    Correct!
SIGN    Congratulations!!
[20:50] Nomi
    He's done it!
[20:52] Nomi
    Hasegawa-san has won the ten million!
[20:56] Nomi
    Our contestant was acquainted with the girl in the final question!
[21:00] Nomi
    A miracle phone call!
[21:01] Nomi
    Endless cheers for our Madao!
[21:02] Nomi
    No, he is no longer a Madao!
[21:05] Nomi
    He is a Miracle Madao who's made it to the top!
[21:12] A
    Damn, I'm impressed.
[21:14] A
    Then we'll be taking the prize money, big guy.
[21:18] Madao
    You can call me Madao.
[21:21] Madao
    I still have much to learn
[21:25] A
    Don't be so modest.
[21:26] A
    There aren't many people who can pay off ten million so easily.
[21:31] A
    I hope you can be as quick on the rest of the debt.
[21:35] Madao
    Huh?
SIGN    Taizo Hasegawa is one question away from becoming a Madaonaire. Why did he choose to continue?
SIGN    A: Because he wear sunglasses.
    C: Because this show is rigged.
SIGN    B: Because he has no job.
    D: Because he is Madao.
[21:37] A
    The rest of the debt. Twenty million.
[21:41] A
    I'm counting on you.
[21:43] Madao
    What?!
SIGN    D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN    D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN    Next Time
[23:20] Kagura
    What was that, you stupid curlyhead?!
[23:23] Shin
    Cut it out already!
[23:24] Gin
    Huh? Why are you so mad?
[23:25] Both
    Eh?! Do you realize how many weeks it's been since we were last on screen?!
[23:29] Gedo
    It's been two years for me.
[23:31] Both
    Oh...
SIGN    Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
[23:32] Gin
    Next time:
[23:32] Gin
    Presents are meant to be given early.
SIGN    Shinpachi and Kagura haven't said a word since the Chageath Note episode.
SIGN    What is the definition of a regular cast member? Nobody even cares anymore.