# E248 - Madaodog Madaonaire
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRWEX23KR/madaodog-madaonaire)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** 2012 Kabuki District
***SIGN*** Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire
**[01:46] N**
Taizo Hasegawa.
**[01:49] N**
He's one question away from becoming a Madaonaire.
**[01:52] N**
Why did he choose to continue?
**[01:54] N**
A: Because he wears sunglasses.
**[01:57] N**
B: Because he has no job.
**[01:59] N**
C: Because this show is rigged.
**[02:02] N**
D: Because he is a Madao.
***SIGN*** Madaodog Madaonaire
**[02:11] A**
Hasegawa!
**[02:13] A**
Hasegawa!
**[02:14] A**
Hasegawa, it's headed your way!
**[02:18] B**
Catch it!
**[02:21] B**
You better catch it!
**[02:26] C**
How could you drop it?!
**[02:29] A**
Hey! It's you kids again!
**[02:32] B**
The guards are here!
**[02:35] A**
Wait up!
**[02:51] Nomi**
Middle-aged dumb-ass oldies,
**[02:53] Nomi**
also known as Madaos!
**[02:55] Nomi**
Do you want another chance at life?!
**[03:00] Nomi**
Do you want to climb up the ladder?!
**[03:04] Nomi**
Do you have the courage to fight back?!
**[03:10] Nomi**
This is the show for saving middle-aged dumb-ass oldies!
**[03:13] Nomi**
Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
**[03:19] Nomi**
Hello. I am your host, Nomi.
**[03:24] Nomi**
The Madao who makes it to the very end of the game
**[03:30] Nomi**
will receive ten million!
**[03:33] Nomi**
Which Madao will walk away with the money, into a brand new life?
**[03:36] Nomi**
Which of the many Madaos in Edo has been given a chance?
**[03:41] Nomi**
Come on down!
**[03:43] Nomi**
Middle-aged darn-amazing oldie!
**[03:49] Nomi**
Our first contestant lives
**[03:51] ---**
on a bench next to the Kabuki District, Hasegawa Taizo-san.
**[03:56] Nomi**
38 years old. Unemployed.
**[04:00] Madao**
Ow!
**[04:03] Nomi**
It's a pleasure, Hasegawa-san.
**[04:06] Madao**
Why am I here?
**[04:09] Madao**
That's what I want to know.
**[04:11] Madao**
When I woke up, I was lying in the middle
**[04:13] ---**
of a dump like a worn-out rag.
**[04:16] Madao**
All I could remember was that I had lost everything,
**[04:19] ---**
that I was trash...
**[04:21] Madao**
But I held something in my clenched fist!
***SIGN*** Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
Golden Ticket
A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
**[04:26] Madao**
A single ray of light in this filthy dump.
**[04:30] Madao**
Where did it come from?
**[04:32] Madao**
I couldn't remember, but I followed the light here.
**[04:38] Madao**
There's one thing I could remember clearly.
**[04:42] Madao**
My thirst for the ten million.
**[04:46] Madao**
I'm going to take advantage of this last chance I've been given
**[04:51] Madao**
and climb out of the garbage heap!
**[04:55] Nomi**
And so, our contestant was a respectable public servant,
**[04:58] Nomi**
but then he lost his job, lost his wife, and now he's a Madao!
**[05:02] Nomi**
Will he be able to claim the ten million and start anew?
**[05:07] Nomi**
His fate rests upon this game show!
**[05:11] Nomi**
His quest for the ten million begins with the first question for one hundred thousand!
**[05:16] Nomi**
First question!
**[05:18] Nomi**
What was the nickname given to the eighth Tokugawa shogun,
**[05:22] Nomi**
Yoshimune, who introduced the Kyoho reforms?
**[05:25] N**
A: Tyrant Shogun
**[05:27] N**
B: Winter Shogun
**[05:28] N**
C: Rice Shogun
**[05:30] N**
D: Money Shogun
**[05:31] Madao**
Uh...
**[05:32] Madao**
This sounds really familiar!
**[05:36] Madao**
But I can't remember!
**[05:37] Madao**
Where have I heard this before?!
**[05:38] Madao**
Search my memories!
***SIGN*** Temple School
**[05:43] Madao**
It was...
**[05:44] Madao**
It was when...
**[05:45] A**
And these were the Kyoho reforms.
***SIGN*** New wage system Rice contributions Tax policy
**[05:49] A**
After introducing these reforms, Yoshimune became known as...
**[05:52] Madao**
Oh, that's it!
**[05:54] Madao**
I learned about this in class at temple school!
**[05:56] A**
Hm, Hasegawa, answer this question.
**[05:58] A**
What was Yoshimune known as?
**[06:00] Madao**
He called on me!
**[06:02] Madao**
D-Does the young me know the answer?
***SIGN*** History
**[06:04] Boy**
U-Uh...
**[06:06] Madao**
It's over! He's eating his lunch!
**[06:09] Madao**
He wasn't even listening to the teacher!
**[06:11] Madao**
Damn, how am I supposed to know the answer?
**[06:13] Boy**
Uh...
**[06:18] Madao**
Huh?
**[06:19] Madao**
Who's this cute girl?
**[06:21] Madao**
I don't remember her sitting next to me.
**[06:25] A**
You have rice on your face.
**[06:28] A**
Correct.
**[06:29] A**
He was known as the Rice Shogun, just like you.
**[06:33] Madao**
Yeah, he's the Rice Shogun!
**[06:36] Madao**
And I don't recall experiencing this bittersweet episode?
**[06:40] Madao**
I sat next to this cute girl?
**[06:43] Madao**
Who is she?
**[06:45] Madao**
I can't remember.
**[06:46] Madao**
Can't remember her name or anything...
**[06:49] Boy**
Teacher, there's an old man struggling outside!
**[06:53] A**
Stop him!
***SIGN*** C: Rice Shogun.
**[06:56] Madao**
I'm over there?!
**[06:58] Nomi**
Correct!
**[06:59] Nomi**
The answer is C: Rice Shogun!
**[07:01] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san gets his hundred thousand!
**[07:05] Nomi**
Oh, Hasegawa-san?
**[07:06] Nomi**
Are you unhappy about answering correctly?
**[07:09] Madao**
No wonder I couldn't remember her name.
**[07:11] Madao**
I was watching the scene from a completely different place.
**[07:14] Madao**
That brought back some bad memories...
**[07:16] Nomi**
Next, we'll move on to the question for five hundred thousand!
**[07:22] Madao**
The battle's just begun!
**[07:24] Madao**
Pull yourself together!
**[07:25] Madao**
I don't have time to mope around!
**[07:28] Nomi**
Second question!
**[07:29] Nomi**
In the Battle of Sekigahara,
**[07:32] Nomi**
which general betrayed the western army
**[07:33] Nomi**
and ensured the eastern army's victory?
**[07:35] N**
A: Tokunaga Hideaki
**[07:37] N**
B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
**[07:39] N**
C: Takizawa Hideaki
**[07:41] N**
D: Sorachi Hideaki
**[07:42] Madao**
Uh...
**[07:44] Madao**
I think I've heard this one before, too!
**[07:46] Madao**
Where?!
**[07:47] Madao**
Where did I hear it?!
**[07:48] Madao**
Try to remember!
**[07:51] Madao**
It was when...
**[07:54] A**
I see. Then we'll take a vote.
***SIGN*** Life Lessons
**[07:57] Madao**
Yes! This was definitely something I learned at temple school!
**[08:00] Madao**
I'm sure of it!
**[08:01] A**
Will you eat the piggy yourselves,
**[08:03] ---**
or will you feed it to the lion?
**[08:06] A**
As you were the ones who raised him, you must decide yourselves.
**[08:09] Madao**
That's a pretty brutal life lesson!
**[08:11] B**
Teacher! We can't do it!
**[08:13] Madao**
Of course!
**[08:14] B**
We like steak more than pork chops!
**[08:17] Madao**
That's why you're crying?!
**[08:19] C**
Yeah! I'm sure lions like beef more than pork!
**[08:23] Madao**
What are they supposed to be learning here?
**[08:26] Madao**
Oh, I remember raising various animals at temple school.
**[08:31] Madao**
I learned many difficult life lessons that
**[08:34] ---**
I've completely forgotten.
**[08:36] B**
At the moment, the vote is evenly split.
**[08:38] B**
Oh, Hasegawa.
**[08:40] B**
What's your vote?
**[08:42] Madao**
Hm? Me?
**[08:44] Madao**
Which side did I choose?
**[08:46] Madao**
Please spare me!
**[08:49] Madao**
That's my final answer!
**[08:51] A**
How can you betray us at the last second?!
**[08:54] B**
Are you supposed to be Kobayakawa Hideaki?!
***SIGN*** B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
**[08:58] Madao**
They were raising a bum, not a pig.
***SIGN*** Off seven days a week.
**[09:01] Nomi**
Correct!
**[09:02] Nomi**
The five hundred thousand yen is yours!
**[09:05] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san is advancing towards the prize!
**[09:08] Nomi**
Yet he looks to be upset every time he gives a correct answer.
**[09:13] Madao**
I-I was going to do some hanging around,
**[09:17] Madao**
when someone stopped me and made me a pet.
***SIGN*** Chicken Pig Rabbit
**[09:20] Madao**
But I never expected to be used in a lesson for kids.
**[09:24] Madao**
Well, I was doomed to die either way.
**[09:28] Madao**
B-But every time I reflect upon my memories,
**[09:31] ---**
I uncover another hidden trauma.
**[09:34] Madao**
I climb towards the light in the future,
**[09:37] Madao**
but the darkness in my past drags me down.
**[09:40] Madao**
Don't try to stop me!
**[09:43] Madao**
The ten million yen will be mine!
**[09:49] Nomi**
That brings us to the third question, for one million yen!
**[09:53] Nomi**
These Shock Stickers are all the rage in Edo right now!
**[09:56] Nomi**
Which of the following characters has their hair parted 7:3?
**[10:00] N**
A: Little Fatty
**[10:01] Madao**
He suddenly switched categories!
**[10:01] N**
B: Cool Body Fat
**[10:03] N**
C: Fried Chicken Angel
**[10:03] Madao**
I-I won't be able to search my life for the answer to this question!
**[10:06] N**
D: Super Glasses
**[10:07] Madao**
Wait, is there an answer inside me?
**[10:11] Madao**
Even when I've never heard these names before?
**[10:15] Chi**
Sorry, Piggy.
**[10:17] Chi**
They're so mean.
**[10:19] Chi**
Arguing about whether or not they should eat you after I saved you.
**[10:22] Chi**
Something's wrong with them.
**[10:23] Chi**
I-It's her.
**[10:25] Chi**
The Rice Shogun girl!
**[10:27] Chi**
She freed me from the school execution?!
**[10:32] Madao**
This is the second time you've saved me.
**[10:36] Madao**
Why are you helping me?
**[10:40] Chi**
You remind me of my dad.
**[10:43] Chi**
My dad used to do a lot of hanging around, the way you do.
**[10:47] Chi**
But I would always stop him.
**[10:51] Chi**
He ran off, leaving behind his debts.
**[10:54] Chi**
Mom and I have no money, but it's okay.
**[11:00] Chi**
As long as we know he's still alive,
**[11:02] ---**
we can keep on going.
**[11:05] Chi**
My dream is to become a massive-asset dat-ass object, or Madao,
***SIGN*** Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
**[11:11] Chi**
and participate in this.
**[11:13] Chi**
I'll be able to pay off our debts,
**[11:15] Chi**
and Dad might come back after he sees me on TV.
***SIGN*** A: Dat ass
**[11:19] Chi**
So I have to study hard at temple school!
**[11:23] Chi**
But if I run into a question I don't know,
**[11:29] Chi**
it'll be your turn to save me.
**[11:33] Chi**
I'll use a lifeline to call you.
**[11:36] Chi**
So please tell me the answer.
**[11:42] Madao**
Yes, I made a promise to her.
**[11:47] Madao**
But before she had a chance to become a massive-asset
**[11:51] Madao**
dat-ass object, or Madao, the phone rang.
**[12:00] A**
Hey, it's for you, Hasegawa-san.
**[12:02] A**
Someone keeps asking for Piggy.
**[12:05] A**
If she knows this number, she must be an acquaintance of yours.
**[12:09] Madao**
Huh?
**[12:10] A**
I can't understand you if you keep crying.
**[12:14] Madao**
Hello?
**[12:17] Madao**
Hey, what's wrong? What happened?
**[12:19] Chi**
Piggy...
**[12:21] Chi**
When I came home from school, Mom was...
**[12:23] Chi**
Mom was lying on the floor.
**[12:26] Chi**
I keep shaking her, but she won't wake up!
**[12:30] Chi**
What should I do?
**[12:32] Chi**
Tell me, Piggy... Piggy...
**[12:35] Madao**
I failed as her lifeline.
**[12:39] Madao**
All I could do was stare at the stickers on the phone.
***SIGN*** Little Fatty
**[12:46] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san chooses A: Little Fatty.
**[12:50] Nomi**
Is that your final answer?
**[12:55] Hasegawa**
That is my final answer.
**[13:08] Nomi**
We'll tell you if he's right after the break!
**[13:18] Nomi**
Correct!
**[13:20] Nomi**
A: Little Fatty!
**[13:21] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san has answered three questions correctly!
**[13:23] Nomi**
He's made it to one million yen!
**[13:26] Nomi**
Oh! He's fainted!
**[13:28] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san has looked pale after every correct answer,
**[13:30] ---**
and now he's collapsed!
**[13:33] Madao**
H-How could that have happened?
**[13:35] Madao**
How could I have forgotten?
**[13:39] Madao**
I'm such a Madao.
**[13:43] Madao**
No more...
**[13:45] Madao**
I don't want to learn how pathetic I am.
**[13:49] Madao**
This is where I belong.
**[13:52] Madao**
I don't have the right to escape the garbage dump.
**[13:54] A**
Hey, are you okay?
**[13:57] B**
Take him to the infirmary!
**[13:59] Madao**
Don't have... Don't have the right...
**[14:04] Madao**
Please give me the next question.
**[14:08] Nomi**
He stood up!
**[14:09] Nomi**
After fainting and coughing up blood, he continues on!
**[14:12] Madao**
I'm okay!
**[14:14] Nomi**
He wants the ten million really bad!
**[14:17] Madao**
I want the ten million...
**[14:19] Madao**
You bet.
**[14:20] Madao**
I may have lost my will to live,
**[14:22] ---**
but my desire for the ten million remains.
**[14:25] A**
This guy's pretty tough.
**[14:27] B**
Start making the questions harder.
**[14:29] B**
It's time to get rid of him.
**[14:30] Madao**
But I no longer know why I want the money or who it's for...
**[14:36] Nomi**
Question four!
**[14:37] Nomi**
Name this constellation.
**[14:39] N**
A: Toilet Minor
**[14:40] Madao**
I can't quit until I've figured that out...
**[14:41] N**
B: Brave Exkaiser
**[14:42] N**
C: Summer Visor
**[14:48] Chiharu**
It's so warm inside this cardboard box.
**[14:52] Chiharu**
It's like a play castle.
**[14:55] Chiharu**
This is fun!
**[15:00] Madao**
Was she forcing herself to sound happy,
**[15:03] Madao**
or was she actually enjoying herself?
**[15:07] Chiharu**
Piggy, I get to sleep while looking up at the stars.
**[15:11] Chiharu**
It's like we're camping.
**[15:14] Chiharu**
Do you know what that constellation is?
**[15:18] Madao**
She was always smiling.
***SIGN*** A: Toilet Minor
**[15:22] Nomi**
Correct!
**[15:26] Nomi**
Question five!
**[15:27] Nomi**
Which of the following bento is the most popular at 8-11?
**[15:31] Madao**
This was all I could manage to do for her...
**[15:34] Nomi**
Oh, this is the one that everyone says is really good!
**[15:38] Nomi**
It still looks safe to eat.
**[15:43] Nomi**
C-Correct!
**[15:45] Nomi**
Question six!
**[15:46] Nomi**
Which gachapon is very popular with the kids right now?
**[15:49] Madao**
Keep looking.
**[15:50] Chiharu**
Uh-huh.
**[15:52] Chiharu**
Look! This is the one you wanted!
**[15:56] Madao**
She always had a smile on her face.
***SIGN*** A: Kinniguman
**[16:00] ---**
Correct!
**[16:03] Madao**
I was supposed to be helping her smile,
**[16:05] Madao**
but it was the other way around.
**[16:09] Chiharu**
Piggy, I've always dreamed about this.
**[16:12] Madao**
Huh?
**[16:13] Chiharu**
Cooking for Dad when he came home early
**[16:18] Chiharu**
and chitchatting.
**[16:20] Madao**
Did you call me Dad?!
**[16:22] Chiharu**
We might live in a cardboard house
**[16:24] ---**
and drink tea from empty cans
**[16:26] Chiharu**
while Dad is always home,
**[16:28] Chiharu**
but I'm having a lot of fun right now.
**[16:32] Chiharu**
This is the first time I've felt at home.
**[16:39] Chiharu**
So...
**[16:40] Chiharu**
I'll give this to you.
***SIGN*** Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire? Golden Ticket A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
**[16:43] Madao**
Isn't that...
**[16:45] Chiharu**
It's okay now.
**[16:47] Chiharu**
I got to see Dad...
**[16:53] Madao**
Hey!
**[16:54] Madao**
Hang in there! Hey!
**[16:56] Madao**
Hey!
**[16:58] Madao**
Come on!
**[16:59] Dad**
I'm terribly sorry.
**[17:02] Dad**
I never dreamed that my wife and daughter
**[17:05] ---**
would fall ill while I was away.
**[17:07] Dad**
I should not have insisted on staying away until I found a proper job.
**[17:12] Dad**
I'll find a way to pay their hospital bill...
**[17:19] Madao**
Money doesn't matter.
**[17:22] Madao**
Who gives a damn if you have debts?
**[17:29] Chiharu**
This is the first time I've felt at home.
**[17:33] Madao**
It doesn't matter if you live in a dump, as long as you're together.
**[17:39] A**
Sorry to interrupt, but we're debt collectors.
**[17:45] B**
Don't give me that crap!
**[17:48] B**
A piece of shit like you is gonna guarantee their debt?!
**[17:53] Madao**
I promise to pay it off.
**[17:55] Madao**
So stay away from that family.
**[17:57] C**
A bum like you won't have enough money!
**[18:01] D**
You know where to get some?
**[18:03] Madao**
You bet.
**[18:05] Madao**
I've got this piece of paper I dug out of the trash.
**[18:08] A**
That's bullshit!
**[18:11] Nomi**
Correct!
***SIGN*** D: Wriggled around
**[18:13] Nomi**
Our contestant is on a roll!
**[18:14] Nomi**
Answering one question after another!
**[18:16] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san has finally reached seven million five hundred thousand yen!
**[18:19] Nomi**
He's one question away from ten million!
**[18:21] A**
I-Impossible!
**[18:22] A**
How was he able to answer that question?!
**[18:24] B**
Who is this Madao?!
**[18:26] B**
Hey! Find an impossible question to give him!
**[18:29] Nomi**
He no longer has a pained expression on his face.
**[18:33] Nomi**
What has come over him?!
**[18:37] Madao**
Heh, nothing's changed.
**[18:39] Madao**
But I've finally remembered.
**[18:42] Madao**
I can accept my failures, my pathetic life.
**[18:48] Madao**
I realize that I'm a hopeless Madao!
**[18:53] Madao**
Since I forgot a very important promise.
**[18:57] B**
Use this question!
**[18:58] B**
This tiny article in today's paper!
**[19:00] B**
I'm positive that Madao hasn't read it!
**[19:06] Nomi**
Here is the final question, for ten million yen!
**[19:10] Nomi**
This is it!
**[19:11] Nomi**
What is the name of the first victim of the new contagious virus,
**[19:16] Nomi**
MADAO 49, who was able to make a full recovery
**[19:20] ---**
after treatment on another planet?
**[19:23] N**
A: Nakajima Tomoko
**[19:25] N**
B: Sakurajima Chiharu
**[19:27] N**
C: Kato Shizue
**[19:29] N**
D: Terashima Kyoko
**[19:31] Nomi**
This is a tough one!
**[19:33] Nomi**
Can Hasegawa-san answer the question and win ten million yen?!
**[19:38] Madao**
Excuse me, can I use a lifeline?
**[19:41] Madao**
I'd like to call someone.
**[19:42] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san immediately uses a lifeline!
**[19:45] Nomi**
But do any of his friends know the answer to this question?!
**[20:06] Nomi**
Nobody's picking up.
**[20:10] Nomi**
Too bad!
**[20:15] Madao**
Yeah, hello?
**[20:19] Madao**
Yeah, it's me.
**[20:22] Madao**
Sorry about taking so long to call.
**[20:25] Madao**
This is...
**[20:28] Madao**
This is Piggy's final answer.
**[20:36] Madao**
Live a happy life with your mom and dad, Chiharu.
***SIGN*** B: Sakurajima Chiharu
**[20:42] Nomi**
Correct!
***SIGN*** Congratulations!!
**[20:50] Nomi**
He's done it!
**[20:52] Nomi**
Hasegawa-san has won the ten million!
**[20:56] Nomi**
Our contestant was acquainted with the girl in the final question!
**[21:00] Nomi**
A miracle phone call!
**[21:01] Nomi**
Endless cheers for our Madao!
**[21:02] Nomi**
No, he is no longer a Madao!
**[21:05] Nomi**
He is a Miracle Madao who's made it to the top!
**[21:12] A**
Damn, I'm impressed.
**[21:14] A**
Then we'll be taking the prize money, big guy.
**[21:18] Madao**
You can call me Madao.
**[21:21] Madao**
I still have much to learn
**[21:25] A**
Don't be so modest.
**[21:26] A**
There aren't many people who can pay off ten million so easily.
**[21:31] A**
I hope you can be as quick on the rest of the debt.
**[21:35] Madao**
Huh?
***SIGN*** Taizo Hasegawa is one question away from becoming a Madaonaire. Why did he choose to continue?
***SIGN*** A: Because he wear sunglasses.
C: Because this show is rigged.
***SIGN*** B: Because he has no job.
D: Because he is Madao.
**[21:37] A**
The rest of the debt. Twenty million.
**[21:41] A**
I'm counting on you.
**[21:43] Madao**
What?!
***SIGN*** D: Because he is a Madao.
***SIGN*** D: Because he is a Madao.
***SIGN*** Next Time
**[23:20] Kagura**
What was that, you stupid curlyhead?!
**[23:23] Shin**
Cut it out already!
**[23:24] Gin**
Huh? Why are you so mad?
**[23:25] Both**
Eh?! Do you realize how many weeks it's been since we were last on screen?!
**[23:29] Gedo**
It's been two years for me.
**[23:31] Both**
Oh...
***SIGN*** Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
**[23:32] Gin**
Next time:
**[23:32] Gin**
Presents are meant to be given early.
***SIGN*** Shinpachi and Kagura haven't said a word since the Chageath Note episode.
***SIGN*** What is the definition of a regular cast member? Nobody even cares anymore.